#idk if i will eat it now (maybe to get the taste of this shitty meal out) but im for sure eating it tmmr

[imflyingfish]

just realised how little strawberry daiquiri actually tastes like strawberries. man.

[simpjaes]

EROTIC EMPATHY (s.jy)

Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity before? Nope. Are you about to? Yep. or the one where jake has a streak of bad luck in bed and his friends make fun of him for it, you find him advertising himself on a dating app and decide to help him out. 

minors dni! | if you read it, reblog it

WORDCOUNT― 12.7k

PAIRING― jake sim x afab reader 

CONTENT― virgin guy who lives with his parents!jake, he’s not shy but he is very clumsy, a lot of texting so be prepared for that, facetime-sex, real life sex

SIDE CHARACTERS― jay as reader’s best friend and roommate, heeseung briefly as jake’s friend.

NOTE― if you've read this before it's because im the person who wrote it [ncteez] and im revamping it for jake, pls don't send me messages on either account about stealing a work that's already mine!

smut tags under cut:: 

smut tags―big huge dick jake, phone sex (ish), face time sex,  masturbation, pet name: baby, making out, he eats you out twice, fingering, whining and whimpering, deep throating, premature ejaculation, desperate man wants his dick wet lmao, grinding, tit fondling/licking, clit stimulation, he bites the fuck out of his tongue to try and distract himself from coming too soon again,  no condom aka cream pie, jake gets feelings like immediately when u touch him

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Check this shit out,” you laugh, presenting your phone to Jay with a chuckle. “yes or no?”

Jay snorts, nearly spitting out the bite of food in his mouth as he reads the bio of the man you’re showing to him.

“Depends, you trying to take his innocence or are you trying to get railed so hard that the entire building can hear?” He narrows his eyes at you, making a point to call you out for keeping him awake last weekend. 

You wave him off with an apologetic look. To be fair, the dude from before knew how to make a girl moan, it’s not your fault that you managed to find a decent lay in this city. Even if he ghosted you, you assume you may have been a bad lay for him, if anything. 

“I wouldn’t mind trying something new, dude seems desperate.” You swipe through his photos, seeing that he appears to be just a normal dude with normal interests. “He’s cute too, so I’m gonna say yes.”

Jay groans this time, slapping a hand to his forehead and glaring at you. 

“You’d better warn me if you end up bringing him home, I’m not about to listen to some guy start crying over a blowjob.”

You nod to him, sending a message to the eighty-two-year-old Jake and feeling delighted at his near-instant response to you. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll make sure you’re out of the apartment if I invite him over,” You wiggle your brows as you stand to your feet and turn toward your room, eyes now glued to the open dating app’s messages. “Maybe you should go out and find a nice girl to rail to get back at me.”

“You’re so fucking weird.” Jay laughs but feels kind of shitty because it’s not like he hasn’t been trying to get back at you for the loud sex. Guess he just doesn’t have the magic dick to make girls moan the same way you do.

Not that he wants to make you moan or anything, he definitely doesn’t. If anything, he wishes you were more like the girls he brings home.

Fucking quiet.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You: i’ve never seen a virgin grandpa on this app before 

Jake: ….i’m 21, it says that in my bio

You: I think you’re lying. 

Jake: do u know how to change it, my bitch friends won't tell me lol

You: why would i help you lie to other women

Jake: i’m not lying!!1

You laugh to yourself as you text the new sex interest in your life, wondering if he’s lying about his presumed virginity. 

You: ok, twenty-one-year-old “jaeyun” who is five miles away from me, you’re actually a virgin? Like for real?

Jake: yea….are u here to make fun of me for it too? all the girls here just turn me down even if i offer to cook for them after

Jake: maybe it's the playlists idk

You: send me the playlist

Jake: [spotify link to a playlist titled “NUT”] 

You try not to snort, but you do. Given, he does have decent taste, but why anyone would have dynamite by bts and never say never by justin bieber on their sex playlist is beyond you. 

You: surely it’s not your playlist…….

You: anyway

You: you’re really just looking to get laid for the first time, like, ever? and you’re offering to cook dinner too?

Jake: yea

You: you’ve never had a blowjob or anything like that? you can’t seriously think I can believe you’ve never been laid, it’s not like you’re ugly or anything

Jake: u don’t think im ugly? :) 

Jake: and yea I’ve had a blowjob before

You: why didn’t you sleep with her then?

Jake: can we stop talking about why im a virgin

You: sure but you know im gonna bring it up again, right?

You’re smiling at your phone, finding him charming and awkward in how he communicates with you via messenger. Of course, you’re curious as to why he’s a virgin, even more, curious as to why he’s on a dating app looking to lose said virginity. 

You: do you want my number? it’s embarrassing to have the app open in public if i wanna talk to you.

Jake, on the other hand, is quite literally kicking his feet and checking your profile every few minutes just to look at you. He didn’t even think too hard about you calling him attractive then not following up on it, because the fact that you just offered your number to him in case you want to talk to him? Butterflies. Given, it’s juvenile for someone of his age to still be experiencing the typical high-school crush feelings, would anyone blame him? It’s just how he is, with or without having had sex. He can’t imagine not feeling giddy inside when he’s talking to someone that he thinks is pretty. 

Jake: yea :) u can text me whenever [redacted phone number] 

You respond to him by texting his number rather than using the app messenger, screenshotting his contact info, and sending it to him with a sly smile. 

You: [screen shot// contact name: grandpa jake] 

Grandpa Jake: :| 

Grandpa Jake: im 21

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Okay so, here’s the thing. Jake is undeniably funny, witty, and kind. Another thing, he’s wildly attractive. Especially upon fulfilling your request for a workout selfie from him. So, what gives? You read the texts he’s sent that made you laugh out loud, you look at his pictures, stare at the workout selfie, and you genuinely cannot understand how he doesn’t have women waiting in line to have at him. 

You: it’s been like four days since we started talking

Grandpa Jake: yep, almost five

You: four days of being friends but no mention of your bio on the app, yknow, where you’re begging to have sex for the first time ever?

Grandpa Jake: right, yea. you wanna do it? i didn’t wanna assume lol

You: not answering that til you explain why. i mean, it’s totally ok that you are but like, you’re a green flag all around so im a little worried you might have like a micropenis or something

Disclaimer, if he had a micropenis, you’d still let him use it on you. After all, hooking up is something you enjoy doing regardless of size.

Grandpa Jake: i do NOT have a micropenis

You: prove it

Grandpa Jake: right now???

You laugh to yourself but also like, it’s the first time the two of you have done anything more than bully each other. Or rather, you bully him and he defends himself constantly. 

You: answer my question first

It takes a few minutes for him to respond, but you’re doing coursework anyway so it’s not a huge deal. Totally not like your ears perk up and a smile creeps across your face every time your phone goes off or anything. Definitely not. 

Grandpa Jake: um… i still live with my parents and before u make fun of me for that pls understand that its not like i wanna be here 

Grandpa Jake: i have a job and everything!!! im not a mooch!

He’s getting off track again. You could honestly care less if he still lives with his parents. You wish you still lived with yours, to save money at least. 

You: they won’t let you have anyone over? 

Grandpa Jake: well, that too but 

Grandpa Jake: listen this sounds real stupid but it just never happened? even when i tried or things almost happened, it never did

You: damn, you’re unlucky. so what happened with the girl who gave you a blowjob?

Grandpa Jake: her boyfriend walked in

You: WHAT

You’re trying to pity him, honestly, but damn. Did he go for a taken girl? Yikes. You hate to admit the ick that just flooded your mind. 

Grandpa Jake: its not like i knew she had a boyfriend

You: phew 

Grandpa Jake: so yea. do u wanna help me out or not? 

The whole reason you started talking to him was specifically to help him out. Now that you know he’s not some weirdo, and is definitely super hot and funny, hell yes. 

You: yeah, sure. 

You: about the micropenis though, 

Grandpa Jake: right…um

A few minutes of silence, your coursework is long forgotten in the anticipation of receiving your first dick pic from Jake. You wait, and you wait, and you wait.

You: i mean if you can’t prove it that's ok 

Grandpa Jake:  just give me a sec damn

He’s doing his best to get the most attractive angle. It’s not like he’s never sent nudes to anyone or anything, but like– this is you. The first person to actually agree to take his virginity. Should he hold it? Put a remote next to it for size? Should he have his face in the pic? Take a mirror pic? 

Of course, as he’s taking several pictures of his length to try and impress you, he had to get hard first. He can’t imagine you’d want a flaccid cock pic in your inbox, and that would also mean that he’s working himself up with the amount of touching, holding, and groping throughout the past sixteen photos he’s taken and deleted. It’s at the point that now it’s actually hard to care about taking a photo, pre-cum already dripping out of him as he continues to try.

He’s entered the realm of his regular horny self, only this time he’s texting you. Someone who wants to see what he’s packing. Taking a dick pic is insanely easy once he stops thinking with his brain, and he’s quick to send you a photo of himself this time. His chin at the top of the picture, face entirely hidden, hand wrapped around his thick and leaking cock, sweatpants shoved down. 

Grandpa Jake: [image attachment] 

In all fairness, you’ve never actually cared much for dick pics. Men always look too confident even with the smallest of girth being offered through the pixels. Jake though. He looks a bit desperate even with his face hidden. His cock looks desperate, his fingers wrapped around it look desperate, the way his sweatpants hug against his thighs look desperate. And now, you feel desperate. You keep your cool though.

You: oh, you were jerking off, got it. 

Grandpa Jake: sorry can’t help it 

Then he doesn’t text you back. Which is kind of a drag because he looks to be quite big in the photo alone. Maybe you’d be okay just this once to look like the desperate one. Mostly because you’re about ten seconds from trying to figure out which direction five miles away he resides so you can go palm his cock for him. Plus, the idea of an absolute simp virgin like him seeing you act a little desperate would probably be one for the books. 

You: you know i can help you out with that, right? especially since you definitely don’t have a micropenis

You’re still being ignored. The silence from your phone makes your belly flip around inside of you at the image of him doing it too. He probably does it a lot. He’s probably desperate to feel good and watches porn like 24/7. You can imagine how he’d act if you were in front of him right now, the very idea of taking his virginity becoming entirely too attractive.

Shrugging, knowing full well what he’s doing right now that’s causing him to ignore you, you press the call button and wait. You’re a little bit nervous, mostly because you’ve never actually heard his voice before, or better yet how he sounds when he’s getting off. You’re shocked that he actually answers. 

“Hello?” He says, muffled through the phone and trying to sound not-so-out-of-breath. It’s not like he looked at who was calling him anyway. With his luck, it’s probably Heeseung or some shit.

“Don’t hello me,” You gripe, narrowing your eyes at yourself in your mirror. “You’re just gonna jerk off without me after I agreed to help you fix your little problem?” 

The silence on his end is a bit nerve-wracking until you hear the frantic sound of his palm clearly wreaking havoc on him. You smirk, leaning back on your chair and sighing. On his end, processing that it’s you on the other line sends his entire body into a state of burning with arousal. Your voice is sweet even when you speak with the same sarcasm as you do via text. 

God, this alone is enough for him right now. 

“Were you at least thinking of me?”

He hums into the phone, indicating that yes, that’s exactly what he’s doing. His voice is kind of soft despite only hearing one word and a hum, you want to actually hear him talk to you, or moan, whichever he decides. 

“Were you looking at my pictures?”

He nods his head, forgetting that you’re not able to see him and instantly responds with a small and breathy yes instead. It’s a bit difficult for him to talk right now, especially now that he can put a voice to the photos he’s been jerking off to. It’s a bit overwhelming, actually.

“Do you want better ones?” You ask, encouraging him to speak a bit more. 

“Oh god, really?” He asks through the speaker, his hand pausing on his length as if to hold off until you confirm. “Like, nudes?”

“Mhm, yeah. If you want.” You smile as you speak to him, already standing to shimmy your pajamas off of you and stand in front of the mirror. “Or, you know what would be better?”

“Letting me come over and actually do it?” That’s what he wants to say to you, but he doesn’t, he simply raises a brow and bites his lip, trying to contain his excitement.

“What?” He asks, still keeping his responses short because despite how into this he is, he’s a bit shy about it. 

“I can facetime you.” 

He panics. That means you’ll be watching him too, right? Sure he’s sent nudes, he’s received nudes. He’s sent videos too, and received them. But never has he like, you know, live masturbated on facetime so someone else can watch. 

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay.” You backtrack at his silence, but you’re cut off almost immediately. 

“No! no, we can facetime–”

Your stomach flips again as you fix yourself quickly in the mirror before setting your phone against your desk and rolling back a bit in your chair to determine if it’ll work this way or not. It’s not like he’s expecting you to do it too, he probably just thinks you’re gonna sit here naked for him to stare at. You’re kind of excited to see him in action, to hear him in action for you.

You hit the button to switch the call over to facetime and once again adjust your phone as you stare at yourself in the camera. Then you’re needing to catch your breath at the image of him.

Oh fuck.

There he is, his camera angled towards his face and not at all toward what's going on below his waist, but you don’t mind at first. Looking at him, the lighting clearly shows that he’s a fan of mood lighting. You watch his eyes briefly, staring through the screen at you before moving your eyes to his arm, the one that clearly isn’t holding his phone because you can see it moving as he continues to jerk himself off. It’s an interesting feeling to have only seen him in photos until this moment, and it’s insanely attractive for some reason. Seeing him in motion, knowing what he’s doing, knowing that he feels good right now because of you.

“Let me see,” you say quietly, adjusting your bra strap and preparing to slip it off of you if he so much as asks. “Prop your phone up somewhere like I did.”

He nods, his eyes still staring straight through his screen at you as he moves around and the image becomes a blur of movement rather than his face. He settles in quickly, somehow looking even more attractive with the way his eyes no longer stare at the screen. You can almost sense a hint of shyness from him at this moment and it kind of floors you, given how easy he is to talk to and how easily he sent a dick pic to you.

“Feeling shy?” You ask, spreading your legs wide and cupping the seat of your panties, hiding the small spot of wetness forming there. “You act like I’m not going to be touching you at some point soon.”

You see him perk up, his eyes looking to you on the screen with more fondness than arousal. At the same time, his hand grips the base of his cock as he holds it straight up, erect and glistening proudly for you to look at. 

“You look pretty big, bet you could fill me up so nicely,” You try to compliment, boosting his confidence and ego as best you can simply because he looks pretty with a smile on his face. Especially when his cock twitches at the words. “Would you want to do that for me, Jake?”

“Oh god,” He groans, hearing his name come from your mouth for the first time. His hand jerks up his length once, almost aggressively as he winces at it. “This is going to be so embarrassing.” He admits now, sliding his palm up and down shamelessly as he watches between your spread legs. 

In a way, he wonders if you can see how desperate he is. There’s no way you can’t, right? Like, you can see how badly he wants you, right?

“Embarrassing, why?” You chuckle, tapping now at the spot between your legs. “Can you not see that I’m just as turned on right now?”

He groans again with deep breaths, releasing his length and using that same hand to swipe his hair out of his face, then immediately grimacing at the fact that he now has pre-cum in his hair. Embarrassing, all of it. 

“Well,” He tries to avoid you bringing up the fact that he just did that and only shoots his hand back to his cock in order to distract whatever off-hand shit you’re about to say. “You don’t even have your panties off yet, and I could probably get off right now.”

You laugh, not wanting to ruin the mood with the whole cum on his own face thing, so you save that for later. Instead, you instantly slip your panties off and present yourself to him much like he’s doing for you. 

“Better?”

Jake watched with his breath stuck in his throat, now finding it harder to breathe at the image of your pussy and the way he hopes he can touch it one day. 

“Can you–” He pauses, not being used to dirty talk towards anything other than the porn playing on his phone. He thinks hard, and you can see it based on the way he, once again, neglects his cock with an unmoving palm.

“Can I do what?  Go on,” You urge him, running a hand up to your chest and fondling your nipples right there in front of him, but not yet moving the fabric. “What do you want me to do for you, baby?”

Baby. You called him baby. Not that he’s into that but the fact that you did it makes him wonder if he is now. Maybe it’s because he wants you to take him for all he’s worth at this point. One, to get rid of the virginity looming over his head, and two, because you sound so fucking smooth when you’re watching him get off. 

“Can you spread your pussy for me?” He whispers at first, uncaring of how dirty it sounds falling out of his throat with a moan. 

His eyes are boring a hole through his screen as he watches one of your hands tease at your hidden nipples, and the other hand sliding up and down the wet folds there. So badly does he want to see it. He wants to see your hole pulsing for him, leaking, needy. Just like him.

His cock twitches wildly the second you do it for him. Two fingers spreading your pussy open and tensing your hips just to move it closer to the screen for him. 

“Is this what you want?” You start, making damn sure he can see every part of your glistening cunt. “You want to fuck this?” You chuckle now, slowly dipping a finger into yourself and pulling it back out to present the wetness for him.

“Oh,” he sighs, now fucking into his fist at a pace that proves he’s most definitely never fucked a woman before. “Fuck.”

You nod at him, urging him to keep admitting his attraction to you. You’re aware he doesn’t see it though, as his hips continue to move quicker and quicker each time you press your finger into yourself. 

“You gonna act like this when I’m riding you?” You ask with a tilted head, studying how hard he’s fucking against his hand. You can imagine how good it would feel if it were you, and quite frankly, this one finger isn’t enough at this point. 

“God. You’re gonna ride me?” He moans, eyes rolling only slightly as he imagines it, mouth falling open at the mere thought of it. 

“Mhm,” you hum, now sliding in another finger and scissoring yourself open with them. “Would you want that?”

Before you can even work yourself up, and before he can even answer that question, you see him release. His cum shooting out in spurts across his stomach and nearly up to his chest. His labored breathing shifts the lighting against his abs and makes him look so entirely delicious. You’ve never wanted to lick a man clean so badly in your life.

You’re not even upset that he didn’t make it into the knitty gritty, considering he’s a virgin and all and you’re literally fucking yourself in front of him while implying riding him. You’re actually flattered. 

His release caused him to see white for several moments, forgetting he’s even on camera for you. When he comes back to reality, watching you continue to finger yourself as your eyes scan your screen, all he can do is feel bashful. 

“S-shit, sorry,” He comments with a half laugh, looking down at his cum covered chest before looking at you again. Honestly, he could probably go again if you let him watch for a bit longer, but he’s embarrassed now. “I uh, didn’t mean to come that fast. It just kind of happened.”

“It’s okay,” You comfort him, slightly out of breath as you wonder if this is all you’re gonna get tonight. “It was cute.”

After a few moments, you sense his embarrassment and slowly slip yourself back into a sobering headspace, closing your legs and trying to ignore how wet you still are.

“Are you, um, done?” Jake says, disappointed.

“Mm, no.” You smile. “But it’s okay, I’d rather make you come first anyway.”

His face lights up despite the disappointment in his gut of not being able to see you get off. 

“You still wanna see me after this?”

You nod with a smile, endeared by his need to give, but inability to do it.

“When are you free?” You ask, wondering if he’s ever going to clean himself up. 

“Whenever you are.” He laughs, scratching the back of his head with, once again, the same cum-stained hand. 

“I’ll text you later then,” You smile through the screen and give a small wave before your genuine smile turns into a smirk. “After I take care of my little problem though.”

You notice him sitting up in protest, but you hang up with a satisfied laugh and head to the shower to both finish yourself off and clean up.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Grandpa Jake: what about 3pm on thurs?

You: you want to lose your virginity at 3pm….on a thursday???

Grandpa Jake: my parents have plans so ill have the house to myself for a few hours

You: or you could just come here? 

Grandpa Jake: if ur comfortable with that? i thought u were supposed to come here lol

You: im comfortable, plus my roommate will kick your ass if you’re weird

Jake contemplates hard on that last part but shrugs over it. Probably a girl thing, and it’s not like he’s an actual creep or anything. You’d be the one with power over him when the two of you are alone anyway. 

You: what about tomorrow, 8pm? 

Tomorrow. Hell yeah, tomorrow. God, he’d show up right the fuck now if you let him. He may live with his parents but he’s got a car. 

Grandpa Jake: send ur address, ill be there :) 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Tomorrow, you’ll be a man.” Heeseung croaks through the speaker at Jake, totally assuming that this whole virginity loss dating app plan was actually just a joke. 

“Why do you have to say it that way?” Jake groans back, slapping his hand over his forehead and rubbing his temples. “I didn’t think anyone was actually gonna come through, she’s the first one.”

“What makes you think she’s actually gonna send you her address?” Heeseung laughs, once again placing more pity onto his best friend than anything else. “She’s probably not even a real person, you’re gonna end up at some old guy’s house.”

Jake laughs, or snorts really. 

“Oh, she’s real.”

Heeseung sits up in curiosity this time, switching his phone to the other ear with interest. 

“Hm? Have you already met her?”

“Kind of. We like, um,” Jake pauses, wondering if he sounds way too excited to tell him or not. “We facetimed a few hours ago.”

Silence.

“She got naked.”

“Oh ho ho!” Heeseung encourages him. “So you guys did some stuff on facetime and she still wants to meet you?” 

“That’s what I said–wait,” Jake smiles to himself, about two seconds from kicking his feet before realizing what Heeseung just said. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re kind of a loser, we’ve been over this.” Heeseung laughs yet again. “Call me when you get your cherry popped or whatever.”

Then he hangs up. 

Grandpa Jake: do u think im a loser?

You: yeah kinda

You’re laughing at his text as you sit across the table from Jay.

“That him texting?” Jay quirks a brow, watching you smile at your phone and practically ignore him. 

You laugh again at Jake’s string of defensive texts before responding with a short “it’s okay, i like losers”, and putting your phone down to finish telling Jay that he’s gonna get kicked out tomorrow for the night. 

“So,” You clap your hands in front of yourself, glaring at Jay. “You’re gonna have to be gone tomorrow at eight because I'm about to literally obliterate this guy.”

“Jesus, I’m scared for him.”

“You should be scared for me. Because, well…” You trail off for a second, scrolling up your texts to see the dick pic Jake sent before the facetime call. “He’s huge and–”

“I did not need to know that.” Jay sighs, scooting back in his chair and standing to his feet. 

“You act like you don’t ask every time I fuck someone.” You roll your eyes at him, smiling. “Weirdo.”

Jay stands there awkwardly before shrugging and lunging for your phone. 

“How big?” He laughs, not actually trying to see the dude’s dick but always way too curious for his own good despite never wanting to be around to hear what the big dicks do to his best friend. 

“Stop prying, you’ll get jealous.”

He scoffs, brushing off his pants of invisible dust and crossing his arms. 

“I’ll have you know, my dick is perfectly sized.”

“I’m sure it is. Anyway, tomorrow, be gone.” 

He nods, sauntering to the living room and flopping down on the couch. 

“Keep it in your room, please. I don’t want to sit on any cum when I get home.”

・・���・・・・・・・・・・・

It’s Thursday. It’s approximately seven in the evening on Thursday and you’re well aware that Jake is probably bubbling with anxiety if his texts are anything to go by. 

So many “are you sures,” so many “you can tell me to leave if you decide you don’t want tos,” and even more “i can’t wait to see yous.”

“Jay, aren’t you supposed to be leaving?” You ask, opening the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. 

You’ve already showered again today, primped yourself up for him really. Everything smooth, soft, and ready to be touched. You wonder if Jake is doing the same, and smile.

“Hm, yeah. But I kinda wanna see him before I leave.”

You turn your head to him with a curious look, glaring only slightly.

“I swear to god if you scare him off, I’m kicking you out.”

Jay laughs, patting the couch as if to invite you to sit with him to ease your own anxiety. He can smell the familiar lotion you use before dates, and he notes that you’ve really tried to look good today. 

“I think you might kill him, if I’m being honest.” Your best friend laughs softly, complimenting you. 

“Thanks, that’s the plan.”

And so, the two of you sit together laughing at stupid comedy shows until your phone lights up at around seven thirty. 

Grandpa Jake: i’m a little early, is that ok? 

“Oh shit, he’s here.” You immediately feel nervous, which is pretty normal for you anyway so it’s easily overlooked by Jay. 

He jumps up, brushing off his clothes and walking toward the kitchen to grab his keys and wallet. 

“Let him in then, I’ll leave when he gets here.”

You give him a knowing look before nodding. 

You: second floor, take a left when you get to the top of the stairs, third apartment on the left.

Within minutes, there’s a very gentle knock on the door and Jay is throwing himself at it to get a look at him. Unfortunately it’s a bit more awkward than he expected it to be. 

Not only did Jake think your roommate was a woman, but he, at the very least, expected you to answer the door. He was preparing himself all day for this moment, to knock on your door and have you open it. At first he thought that maybe he even got the wrong apartment. 

“Oh, I think I got the wrong place, sorry–” 

“Nope, you’re in the right place.” Jay smiles, stepping to the side and opening the door wider for him. “You can come in.”

Jake does, awkwardly. Avoiding eye contact with Jay and barely even looking into the apartment before stepping inside. 

“She got all cleaned up for you.” Jay whispers, throwing Jake a wink before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

Jake still hasn’t really looked up from the floor yet, and you make quick work to make him feel more comfortable. 

“Don’t mind him, that’s my roommate.” You say, making your way toward him and trying your best not to stare because, okay, wow. He’s kind of ten times more attractive in person, which is fucking insane considering how good he looked through a screen. 

“Have you and him ever like…” Jake immediately starts, realizing he might have made things weird. 

“Jay?! Oh, god no.” You laugh, reaching for his arm and feeling him lean into it with relief. “You’re allowed to look up by the way. You’ve been staring at that crack in my floor since you got here.”

Immediately Jake moves his eyes up to you, the eye contact feeling more intense than it should, but you’re locked in too. The awkwardness dissolves almost instantly, he feels no need to question you further about anything really, especially with the way he feels his throat run dry at the very idea of this whole plan actually happening at some point.

When he made his profile on that app, it was kind of a half joke until like, people started talking to him. Given, no one ever followed through but you, he’s happy he stuck with it. Happy you came out of the works from said dating app, happy you picked him. 

Really though, he picked you. Part of you wonders about why you want to take this from him. For power, for control, to be praised, to feel like you’re his entire world of desire for a brief time? All of those things, yes, but you can admit now that he’s in front of you that it’s a bit intimidating. 

He’s not shy at all, just a bit awkward. He seems confident, he seems ready, and you find yourself lucky for being the one to get to do this for him, or with him. If at all, Jake is the type of man you could see yourself hanging out with often, with or without having sex. 

Given, upon seeing him face to face for the first time, the only thing you thought about was how attractive he is. Now though, as you look back at him along with the silence of this apartment offering nothing more than awkwardness, it’s not. Because you’re seeing him for all he is and he appears to not be able to help it. Is this what people mean when they say there’s an instant spark between two people? Despite how attractive he is, you find yourself thinking of how many times he’s made you laugh in the short period of time you’ve known him along with how many times he’s willingly embarrassed himself

And now for the first time, he’s right there and all you want to do is…give him exactly what he wants.

“Okay, listen,” You start, swallowing around a lump in your throat as you feel your body heat up at record speed by just having his eyes looking into yours. You know by this point that you’re not going to be keeping your hands to yourself at all. And for his sake, he’d probably prefer it that way. “If I move too fast, just tell me to stop.”

Jake tilts his head with a dopey smile, eyes still fixed on you, scanning you, coming to terms with the fact that you’re absolutely everything he thought you would be and more. 

“I don’t think that’s gonna be an issue,” He admits, feeling his length confined within his pants twitch wildly at the fact that this is happening. “I struggled not to get hard just driving over.” He laughs, looking away from you for the first time with flushed cheeks. 

You find that painfully adorable. No man would ever admit that to you. Especially after just a few minutes of meeting in person for the first time, but this is Jake and in the short amount of time you’ve known him, you’re kind of expecting him to be really forward and say things that will have you frozen in thought.

“Oh yeah?” You ask, grabbing his hand and leading him to the kitchen. You’re pretending that his apparent inexperience isn’t getting to you, but you’re not really fooling anyone. “Let’s get you some water or something, I can see you drooling.”

Jake laughs, shrugging because yeah maybe he’s drooling a little bit. You smell fucking immaculate, your hand is small in his but still manages to overpower him, your skin feels soft and slightly cold. Honestly, it’s dangerous just having you stand in front of him right now because he could absolutely blow his load just by you looking at him. Embarrassing? Always.

He follows after you, very nearly crowding up to you as the comfort sets in and the last bit of awkwardness leaves his mind. All he can think about is how you sounded over that facetime call. He’s seen what’s between your legs, and during that night all he could think about was touching you, fucking you. 

Now he’s here, and you’re right there. 

It’s hard not to crowd up, it’s hard not to cling to you, it’s hard not to be excited. Seeing your hand wrapping around that bottle of water to give to him, seeing you lean just before grabbing it– of course he’s staring. Of course he’s crowding closer, almost to the point that he’s up against your ass when you lean back up from the fridge.

You turn after grabbing him the bottle and are shocked by his close proximity when you face him. He looks down at you with a soft face, one that shows he’s not embarrassed by how he immediately attaches to you. His smile is just as clumsy as he is, you can tell he knows exactly what he’s doing too. You’re glad, because it makes it entirely too easy to drop the water bottle, grab his face, and chase his lips all the way until he’s against the counter and kissing you back. 

He sighs instantly into it, wincing at the way the kitchen counter hits his back, you pressing against him so harshly just to get that first taste of his lips. He’s excited that you seem as eager as him, maybe even as desperate as him. 

For you, a man has never been this eager just to kiss you, nor has a man ever kissed you this good. You can imagine that he’s probably got a lot of experience in terms of kissing, not much elsewhere though. You can tell by the way he moves his hands to all of the right places, but his blatant virginity shows through all of it as he becomes a horny mess almost instantly. 

His tongue is warm and wet, small whining sounds coming from his throat as you press yourself against him briefly. His hands never leave your body and he shows no shame in touching where he wants to touch. Rubbing, groping, and caressing every inch of your waist, ass, and even moving up to your face to deepen the kiss. His hips press forward almost constantly, and all you can do is brace yourself on the counter behind him to try and tame his relentless hips and obvious attempts at rushing what he wants right now. 

If you’re going to sleep with him though, he’s gonna get the full experience, not a quickie. Plus, you agreed to keep it in your room for Jay’s sake. 

“Hey,” you sigh, trying to pull back from the kiss but he isn’t having it. Still kissing against you and running his lips down to your neck when you continue to speak. “We should go to my room, your first time isn’t about to be in my kitchen.”

“Why not?” He groans against your neck, kissing harshly with faint wet sounds, his hands wrapping tightly around your waist now. “I don’t care where we do it, i just want you like, really bad.”

Still, his lips don’t leave you, nor do his hands. You find yourself giggling against him with a shake of your head at the way he protests when you pry yourself from his grip. Of course, though, he’s immediately clinging to you and chasing after you to your bedroom before practically throwing himself at you again.

You barely get the door closed before he’s pressing you against the wall, hand running down again to your waist and easily snaking up your shirt just to feel the warmth of your skin. You let him, enjoying the way he kisses you for just the second time, enjoying more the way you can feel him lose his composure every few minutes from this alone. 

You’re kind of in love with the fact that he doesn’t seem to want to pull back even for a breath. He seems to love kissing, and you wonder what else he’ll come to love doing tonight too. From the way he moves his tongue and his lips on you, you can imagine he’d be fucking heavenly at eating pussy.

Successfully you push him away again, rushing to your bed before he can make you melt against his lips for a third time, and you’re instantly trying to present yourself to him much like you did over camera. 

“You’re really going to let me?” He asks with a deep breath, brushing his hair out of his face and wiping his mouth. His brain malfunctions at your presumed answer to that question, watching you take your panties and shorts off in one go and leaning back to spread your legs for him. 

At this moment, you’re all his and you make it a point to spread your pussy out for him like he asked you to do before. You can practically see his knees buckle that very instant.

“To think I wouldn’t want to do this is insane,” You say, wiggling your hips for him to see. “Look how wet I am.” You pause, studying the hungry look in his eyes. “Do you wanna try eating me out?”

He doesn’t even nod. He’s immediately on his knees against your bed and gripping your thighs to pull you toward his face. You yelp only slightly at the movement, a chuckle coming out shortly after as you sit yourself up properly to take in the image of his eyes sparkling up at you. 

It looks like he’s been wanting to do this to someone all his life, with his needy body proving it time and time again. Your breath is caught in your throat, a small groan coming out at the image alone before you’re able to process words again. 

“Can’t believe how good you look down there,” You say softly, brushing his hair out of his face for him like he did to himself earlier. “Have you ever done this before?”

He shakes his head, eyes shifting from your pussy to your face. You can feel his nervous yet eager breath against you, making your eyelashes flutter at even that slight sensation. 

“Go on then.” You sigh out, trying to prepare for what he can manage with that pretty mouth of his.

You watch him and the way he doesn’t seem to think at all when he does it. Once again, he’s adorable. His tongue goes everywhere, only grazing your clit briefly every few licks, never staying on it presumably because he’s in the process of finding the clit based on how your body reacts. 

He has a general idea of where it is, but the feeling of having your pussy spread out like this on his lips alone is enough to overwhelm him with arousal, to the point he genuinely doesn’t know what he’s doing. All he can do is taste and smell the mixture of your warmth along with the soap and lotion you must have used before he came here. 

He’s quite literally tasting the entirety of you and loving every second of it. The way his hands grip your legs, both spreading them further open so that he can tilt his head and lick at different angles, and then hugging them to where they almost lock his head in place. 

It feels like he does this for ages, learning your body and what makes your legs shake. He sucks in different places, kissing your entire pussy to the point that it’s almost impossible for your legs not to shake in a reaction at what he’s doing to you.

Dare you say, a man who is inexperienced at eating a woman out somehow feels better than one who knows exactly where to go. 

“Fuck, knew you’d be good at this,” You compliment with a shaky voice, reaching down to his hair and holding his head in place. “Keep licking there, and use your fingers too.” 

He hums without stopping, taking note of where you place his lips and reminding himself that this is the clit, just as suspected. He attaches his lips there, kissing it much like he kissed you in the kitchen. 

You can feel his fingers make their way into you shortly after, each bump of his knuckle sending a delicious sensation throughout your body. You’re tingling from your head to your toes at this point and your face heats up beyond what you thought it would. Your hips move on their own in response, experimentally fucking against his fingers as he keeps his tongue flicking at you. 

“Just like that,” You encourage him, running your hands through his hair and looking down at him. Seeing his head move with each little thrust of your hips is only more arousing in this moment. His eyes half open, watching you, tasting you, almost smiling around your clit when he makes eye contact with you. 

It almost seems like he’s asking if he’s doing well, and goddamn is he. He’s doing amazing.

“So good,” You say shortly, trying to give him the praise he needs while scratching against his scalp as a thank you, still fucking your hips up just to feel his fingers plunge deeper. 

He, on the other hand, is fucking feral right now. Tasting you, dipping his fingers into you, feeling that warmth for the first time, the small clenches— he’s swimming in a fantasy. Every time you move your hips up, he can smell the entirety of you, he can feel your pussy squeeze his fingers, and god. He doesn’t think he ever wants this to end.

All day. He could do this all fucking day. No wonder men make fun of other guys for not giving head. Why wouldn’t they? He can feel your legs tensing up around his head, your gentle fingers running through his hair, the sounds coming from your lips. He’s in love, he’s in love.

He doesn’t stop, tongue flicking your clit so beautifully, fingers slowly fucking in and out of you, not even in time with your jerking hips. Shockingly, you approach orgasm so fucking fast that you can barely warn him, you’re not even thinking when you put pressure on his head, pressing his lips so harshly against your clit— his moan sending a vibration straight through you.

“Faster, with your fingers—“ You choke out in a drawn out and pornographic moan, curling your toes and feeling him do exactly as you say. 

There, you release with his fingers plunging in and out of you, the wet sound of your pussy only sounding more messy by the time you begin to release. In the midst of it all, you feel him pull his lips from your clit and lick around his fingers before coming back up and continuing his ministrations, working you through an orgasm you’re not even sure he knows you’re having right now.

Insane, really, that he needed to taste the messy relief before resuming. 

Strings of curses, little tugs against his hair, legs shaking, all of it happens at once until the feeling of his fingers become sensitive inside of you, until his tongue is flicking a bundle of nerves begging to be left alone. 

You swat him away with a smile, leaning up quickly and grabbing him by the shirt. 

He doesn’t really know what the fuck is going on but he laughs with you, being pulled to his feet and falling onto the bed on top of you. You can feel his cock in his pants, so fucking hard, probably leaking and feeling quite neglected.

“Did you…?” He asks softly, dipping his head shyly with his wet chin shining in the light of your room.

You smile at him, leaning up to kiss him square on the mouth before you flip him over and get between his legs. 

“I did,” You laugh in a daze, starting to work on his button and zipper. You’re reeling from the recent orgasm and want nothing more than to let him feel the same way you do right now. “And now, I'm gonna do the same for you.”

He chokes out a nervous laugh, holding your hand in place from pulling his pants down.

“Unless, you don’t want that?” You ask, tilting your head with a bit of a frown.

“N-No!  It’s not that!” He reassures you, cheeks flushing more than they already were. “It’s just that– like, what if I don’t last very long? I’m kind of sensitive.”

His eyes avoid yours when he says it and once again, most adorable man award goes to fucking Jake.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing?” You lean forward, kissing him again. “You just gave me some of the best head in my life.”

The light in his eyes returns and instantly he’s flashing a nervous smile at you. 

“Jake, I’ve never gotten off that fast from being eaten out.” You reassure him again, making a point to use his name loud and clear. “If you don’t get off from me sucking your cock, I might actually cry.” 

Well, he can’t have that now, can he? 

He releases your grip on his jeans, allowing you to pull them down. For some reason unable to look at you despite knowing you’ve seen him jerk off before. It’s the fact that like, what if it’s suddenly not big enough? What if his cock is ugly or curved in a way you don’t like?

Before he can even start to doubt himself more, he feels your lips on the tip and instantly his eyes are looking down at you. You’re the one smiling now, using one hand to hold his base and the other hand already scooping up his balls for added pleasure. 

You make a point to look him in the eye as you let the saliva collect in your mouth when you pull back slightly. There, you let it fall from the tip of your tongue, all the way until you feel the wetness against your fingers wrapped around his base. 

He thinks he’s going to go fucking insane watching you like this, and god, does he. You don’t even show him your struggle of taking in the sheer size of him. Lowering your mouth until you’re taking him in as much as you can. You try to keep eye contact up until you have to close your eyes. 

It’s not shocking that by the point you get half of his length into your mouth, he’s fucking up without full intention and letting out a choked apology. Still, you try to force your stretched lips to smile for him, even through the gag, even through the harsh feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat. 

How the fuck has a cock this good not been worshiped before? By a mouth? A hand? A pussy? You’ll be damned not to choke on it. You’d rather eat glass than to let him leave this apartment without being completely emptied and praised for every drop. 

He’s actually struggling already not to come, holding himself back but failing each time his hips chase the warmth of your throat. Each time you gag, it stimulates the fuck out of his cock and he nearly wants to cry each time it happens. Even with that other girl who went down on him, she didn’t even attempt to fit this much in her mouth. Most of the pleasure came from her hand jerking him off while she suckled against his head, but you. You’re down there, slipping your mouth up and down on him like that, gagging, tearing up, and still fucking smiling about it. 

He’s in love.

He holds his hands back at least, keeping them against your sheets and gripping them so hard that he fears he’s ripping through them. Everything feels hot, you look hot, you sound hot, your tongue still manages to move against the base of his cock with what little room it does have, and god– your other hand, massaging his balls. 

“Wait, wait wait–” Jake groans, fucking his hips into your mouth once again until you pull off with a concerned look. 

“Were my teeth hurting you?” You ask, gasping a bit for air.

“No!” He heaves out with fluttering lashes, trying to regain sanity. “I was just getting really close.”

“Hm?” You sigh in disappointment, this time going all in at once and not letting yourself stop until he’s releasing into your mouth. 

You feel his shaking fingers brush your cheek when you do it, hollowing it out just to fit more, more, more into your mouth before lapping your tongue against his base again. 

His groaning turns into frantic moans, his hips jerking wildly, unable to escape the clenching muscles of your gagging throat, and he’s honestly in heaven once again. 

“Ah–wait–fuck.” He tries to protest, not wanting to finish so quickly, but there it goes. There he goes.

Never in his life has he felt an orgasm so satisfying. His eyes roll back and his fingers go numb when he releases, pumping himself deep into your throat and not stopping until he’s dizzy. The fact that you kept your mouth on him through it, the fact that he could still feel you gagging, swallowing, and moaning all at once through it– how?

“How–” he takes a breath, pulling you off of him so you can breathe. “How did you do that?”

You shrug with a confident smile, wiping your tears and crawling up to meet his face. 

“I don’t normally do that for guys.” You say with a rasp in your voice. “I certainly don’t just swallow for anyone.”

He feels special, and fucking spent but god does he want to keep going. His softening cock twitching in a relieving way, probably glad to have finally been touched by something other than his own hand. Part of him wonders if you’re done though, because by now you’ve both gotten off and usually that’s the end goal, right?

But he hasn’t lost his virginity yet, and when he looks at you hovering above him, he already knows you’re not done with him. 

“We need to let you rest until you can get hard again,” You say, kissing him more easily than before and letting him taste himself, letting you taste yourself mixed with him. “What’s something you wanna do to get you back into the game?”

He sighs out a laugh, fucking amazed that you’re his first. How lucky is that? He thinks hard, watching the way you lift your shirt off of yourself. God, he forgot tits existed for a solid part of this day and that’s a shame because instantly his sensitive cock throbs at the image of them coming into view. 

You watch him stare, trailing your hands down and lifting his shirt off of him as well. 

“I– I don’t even know at this point.” He admits with a stammer, ignoring the fact that his hair is definitely sticking up all over from you taking his shirt off of him.

“I’ll just love on you while you think, then.”

He gives a short nod, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside at the way your gentle hands caress his chest and abs before you start kissing against the muscles and soft skin there.

He relaxes his body, feeling your hands and lips on him. You were right when you said you’d love on him as he thinks about it. The hard part of it is actually thinking about what’s going to get him harder the fastest. You doing this could be enough, but your tits. And fuck, your pussy.

He lets out a whine, one that feels entirely out of character and it causes you to pause your gentle kiss against his nipple and pull back.

“Already?” 

He shakes his head, staring straight at your chest and then down to what's between your legs. 

“I want to, um…” He shifts his eyes away from you. “Can I eat you out again?”

That’s new. Twice in one session?

“Oh yeah? Did that get you going?”

You receive a small nod from him before his hands are reaching out for your tits and warming them up. 

You relax into the feeling of his fingers on your chest only for a moment before you pull back again, this time adjusting yourself onto the bed face down, ass up in front of him. Might as well try a bunch of different positions for him too, right?

“Whenever you’re ready.” You sigh, already grabbing a pillow to hug through this. 

You can feel the bed shift behind you, the weight of his body dipping right behind you before you feel his warm breath against your core. Only now do you realize that you already missed the way he ate you out the first time, you can barely contain yourself knowing he’s going to do it again. 

His hands snake between your legs before his lips get any closer, spreading them before pulling his hand back up and spreading your pussy open with his fingers on his own this time. 

“It’s really the prettiest.” He says in a clear and shaking voice, watching the way your hole pulses at the air that hits it. “And I've watched a lot of porn.”

You’d tell him to shut up, but you’re not gonna because it’s cute how forward he is with his thoughts. If anything, he’s treating you right now by doing this, so he can say whatever he fucking wants right now. 

“Yeah? You just gonna stare at it?” You try to urge him, and it works.

Because of course it works. 

You do your best to contain any rising orgasm, solely because you don’t want to spend yourself before you actually let him inside of you in full. But goddamn, he’s just as eager now as he was the first time…if not more. 

He thinks back to the things he did before, mimicking that and hitting all of the perfect spots without fail. Still, you hold back, pushing and pulling yourself away and toward him just to feel his tongue chase. He eventually holds you in place against him, big hands holding you firmly against his face with a bit of force. And now? He’s licking you deeper than you’ve ever been licked before. It’s a different kind of sensation, and the way he groans into it is entirely too much for you right now. 

You need more, you want more. You want all of him by now, so aroused by every touch, breath, and moan that it’s becoming unbearable to just be eaten out. The thought that he’s doing this to get himself hard again is flooring, and the feeling of his fingers replacing his tongue much like before is intense. 

After just that one time, he knows exactly how to make you cum this way and it’s dangerously attractive to realize that. He goes straight for it too, pulling back to watch his fingers slip into you up to the knuckle. 

He hums out a rumbled moan at the sound of your cunt squelching around his fingers. So wet. More wet than any of the girls in the porn he’s watched for years. You’re dripping around his fingers, and the smacking sound is so fucking arousing to him.

And yeah, he can’t reach your clit with his mouth this time so he thinks hard about how to fix this little dilemma and you’re floored even more by the fact that he solves problems without questioning. You feel his fingers leave you and land on your clit, and right then you feel his tongue again, just as deep, licking into you and all over you. 

The sound of your pussy amplifies when it’s against his tongue, and honestly, he could cum right now if he really wanted to. Already he’s hard again, but god feeling you, hearing you, seeing you like this for him? For some guy who has never once been able to give a girl his all like this? 

He’s so focused on you.

Which for you, is a bit of an issue because he’s really not going to let you hold it in, he’s going to have you fucking unravelling again and it’s too good. Thankfully, when you try to lift to look behind yourself, you take note of his other hand working himself. 

He’s hard again, and god knows how long he’s been doing that. 

You pull your body away from him quickly to let your rising orgasm subside, his protesting moan doing nothing but heating your body up more when you flip over and watch him. 

“You were really just going to get me off again and not try to fuck me yet?”

He looks down at himself and then back at you, smiling and running his hand through his hair. 

“I like doing it, I wanted to see if I could make you–”

“You absolutely could have but I’m going to be honest,” You start, interrupting him and pulling yourself up to crawl over him. “If you’re ready, I’d like to live up to my promise.”

His eyes are much sharper than they were before when you say those words. This is actually it. He would have been perfectly happy just eating you out, getting head himself, or whatever. Over and over again. Any and all of it is better than being in his room alone, but you’re really–

“Really?” He asks, knowing full well the answer.. 

“Lay back, get comfortable,” You instruct with deep breaths, scooting up the bed with him, keeping yourself planted on his legs despite the discomfort. “You still want me to ride you, yeah?”

He nods almost frantically, landing his hands on your tits without hesitation and groping them in a blatant show of how ready he’s managed to get himself for this. 

Not that you want to rush, but you’re so fucking turned on by this point, the only thing you want is to be filled by him. His is cock likely bigger than any you’ve taken before, and to be fair, you don’t even care if you’re the desperate one at this point. You’ve almost forgotten he’s a virgin.

“Wait,” He stops you when you slide over his cock, bare pussy coating his length in a languid grind. “Oh, fuck, wait- no,” He breathes in a sharp breath and grips your hips. ”Do that again.” 

You smile at his frantic thoughts pouring from his lips, sliding against him again, and again, up until he’s leaning forward and attaching his lips to one of your nipples and suckling against it hard. 

You groan as you grind, feeling the head of his now, fully hard, cock bumping against your previously stimulated clit. He groans with you, almost at the exact same time but continues to try and leave his mark on you. In love with finally getting your tits in his mouth, your pussy on his cock, and most of all, in love with the fact that you’re not laughing at him for any of it. You seem to melt into it much like he does and he can’t help but want to email the creator of that fucking app and personally thank them for this. 

You rub yourself against him until it’s even more unbearable than before. By now, you’ve completely soaked his length and he’s completely soaked your chest in saliva and tiny swollen bite marks. Not that you mind the biting, his little rumbled grow-like moans only made this all the more arousing.

“Ready?” You finally sigh out, deliberately grinding against him slowly now, with almost your entire weight behind the grinds. 

He groans out a “please” before immediately gripping your hips and stopping you. Pulling his head back so hard and so quickly– he kind of forgot to unlatch from your nipple and it sends a sharp pain throughout your body, one that only makes you want to ride him hard. Right now. 

“Hold on, there’s a condom in the pocket of my jeans–”

“Okay, and?” You laugh, sliding forward again and grinding your clit against him. “I’m on birth control, and I’m clean.” 

He looks at you, his sharp eyes falling back into the sparkling doe eyes as his mouth falls open at the very idea that he gets to hit is fucking raw for the first time? 

“Unless you’re lying, and you’re not really a virgin?”

He’s quick to silence your doubt. He’s 100% never had his cock inside of anything other than his own palm and– malfunction. He’s blank again, staring up at you and wincing at the feeling of you pleasuring yourself on top of him. 

“Please?” He manages to get out, gripping your hips so tightly by now that he’s sure it’s hurting you. 

You smile, humming at him when you lift from him, standing on your knees to grab his cock and position him in the right place. 

“You sure you want it too?” You ask, only now realizing that you’re genuinely about to take a man’s virginity, and it’s only fair that you give him one last time to decide if he wants you to take it from him. Despite how turned on you are, and regardless of how badly you want to fuck him, it’s not right to just do it without making him really think about it. 

“Fuck, yes.” His fingers tighten against you, his eyes squeeze shut, and his voice comes out as frantic and quite frankly, a bit annoyed. “Just do it already.” 

You can’t help but smile at him when you do. Lowering yourself slowly on him and feeling the stretch of it. His face is something that you don’t think you’ll ever forget. He appears to be lost in it, eyes rolling back, his chest heaving, his teeth showing through a half-smile as he moans out at the sensation. 

He can’t get over how warm it is inside of you, the constant clenching of your pussy dragging along his entire length. He can’t help it when he moans, he doesn’t care that his voice cracks, or that it sounds like a pathetic sob. 

By the time you bottom out and sit like that for a moment, you almost feel like he’s the one who needs to adjust. Of course, you’re needing this moment to adjust too but god– just watching him makes you that much more wet and it’s insane how into him you are right now. As if you haven’t been since you started talking to him.

“Feels good?” You ask, involuntary clenching around his size, letting out a small sigh yourself at the feeling of his leaking cock inside of you. 

He hums at you and then takes in a deep breath before fully opening his eyes again and looking at you. Technically, he’s no longer a virgin now. It’s fucking happening, and you’re hot? So fucking hot? You feel so good? You smell so good. You sound so fucking good. 

Everything is overwhelmingly good, all he can do now is press his hips up and instantly moan out at the new feeling. 

You take that as an invitation to absolutely obliterate him, much like you knew you would. So, you do. Lifting yourself up and sliding him almost entirely out of you before sinking down again. 

His hands shoot to your waist, then he lifts slightly to grab your ass from behind you, and then he flops himself back– seemingly unable to know what the fuck to do with himself at this feeling. 

You opt to grab his hands, intertwining your fingers with his and holding them above his head, all so you can lay chest to chest with him, lips right at his neck. You start kissing, riding him so smoothly and doing nothing but listening to his little sounds that he tries to keep inside. 

“You’re really cute, you know that?” You whisper against his ear, kissing there too before pulling back to look at his face.

That half-smile never leaves his face, and his fingers squeeze against yours so tightly that you actually start to worry that he may break them. Thankfully, he begins to relax after a few minutes. Adjusting to the overwhelming pleasure and now losing himself to the arousal rather than fighting it. 

You nearly squeak when you feel him release your hands and grab your face, pulling you up to him as he kisses you mindlessly. Breathlessly, moaning into your mouth all while moving his own hips now. You can feel him jerk his hips, imagining how he fucked his hand through facetime. This is better than that.

You prop to stand up on your knees, offering him the space to fuck you as hard as he’d like, and god. It’s hard. It’s deep, and it’s so clumsy. No rhythm, no thought behind it at all, you can fucking tell he’s purely running on adrenaline as he plunges into you. 

He’s actually going so hard, that your moans sound more pained than pleasurable, but that’s not the case at all. You actually can’t stop moaning, it’s just the fact that each time he slams into you, your throat lets out a broken sound. 

For a moment, you think you can actually hear him unintentionally growl against your slack lips as he does it. Already he’s lasted longer than you thought he would, especially without a condom, and you’re so fucking impressed by it. 

You slide your hand between your bodies, easily rubbing your own clit and drying out your throat even more with the consistent loud moans of how good he’s doing. After a few moments though, his hips stutter and you take that as a sign that you should take over again.

“I don’t know how the fuck you’re doing this to me,” You laugh out of pity for yourself, “I really thought I could last longer than this.”

He barely hears you through his ringing ears and rapid heartbeat, but he chuckles at the compliment. Feeling like he must be doing something right to have a woman say that to him. There’s one issue. He’s about two thrusts from cumming again and he will be damned to ruin this for you. 

You take over, riding him harshly and rubbing your clit even harder. He takes a moment to try and distract himself from how good your pussy feels clenching him and takes it upon himself to bite down hard against his tongue. Something to hurt enough to keep his orgasm from bubbling over, but also not something so awful that he’d lose his arousal entirely. 

You continue, pushing yourself back up from him and watching the way he tries to focus on anything but what’s happening. You ride deliberately to get him off though, knowing that the second he does, you’ll let yourself go too. He doesn’t seem to be picking up the hints. 

“Are you close?” You ask, out of breath and riding him so consistently that it’s becoming more and more difficult to hold your own orgasm. “Let it go, do it with me–”

Instantly, you hear him whimper out a moan as he releases the bite on his tongue. Shooting himself forward and hugging you so tightly that the pressure of your fingers against your clit is entirely unbearable. 

“Oh, god. I’m–” You start, moaning against his hair as he hugs against you.

He’s so fucking relieved, already releasing into you as you say those words. All he can do is breathe through it, feeling your pussy pulse around him as he continues to empty himself into you. 

It’s entirely too intense, his ears popping and heart threatening to send him to a hospital. Never did he think having sex was this intense. 

Little does he know… it’s not. But even you, for some reason, find yourself wondering why the fuck that was so good. 

By the time you pull yourself off of him, both of you wincing and trying to ignore the mixture of cum running down your legs, all you can do is look at him with curiosity. 

He can barely open his eyes to look back at you, but he tries, he really does. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

He’s not going home tonight. Of course he’s not. Like, how fucking rude would it be to take his virginity and send him on his way? Absolutely the fuck not.

In fact, you made him some food, wobbling on spent legs throughout the kitchen as he lays on his death bed in your room. (He’s being dramatic.)

All he can do is listen to the sounds of you in the other room and think hard about how he just felt. Physically, it was a lot. Surely if sex is like that all the time, he’d rather not do it as often as Heeseung does. Honestly, his sanity would be at stake. 

But like, you’re kind of amazing. Given, the two of you barely know each other past lame texts and bullying each other. Physically, you know him more than any other woman and that’s a block he didn’t think would be an issue until it became one.

You made him cum twice. And he thinks you did too, unless you’re lying just to make him feel better. There’s no way you didn’t feel the intensity of that though. There’s no way your wobbling legs were lying to him when you got up and told him you wanted to have a snack before bed.

There’s no way you would let him sleep over if you didn’t feel the same way he does right now.

And by the time you’re back, handing him a plate of food, he can’t help but believe that nothing will ever taste as good as you.

The thing is, that’s one of the main reasons you did this. To be praised, to have a man think you’d be the best he will ever have until he eventually meets someone else and they do better than you did. Now though, you feel weird. 

This is a one night stand. A charity-fuck, as it still stands at least. 

“So,” You start, taking a bite of your food still as naked as can be regardless of how stupid it must look to be eating in a cum-soaked bed like this. “I guess you should change your bio in the app now.”

He looks at you, and then at his food.

“Yeah, I guess I should…” 

“I’ll help you fix your age on it. Now that you know what you’re doing with a woman and all.”

It’s silent for a minute.

“Is it too forward if I say that I’d rather just delete the app and keep calling you?”

Thank fuck Jake is forward and embarrassing with it. You’re not ready to give up the single life but on the other hand, after that, you’re not exactly ready to share him with other women just yet either. If he wants to attach himself for a while, you’re going to let him. Purely because, like, look at him. Everything is endearing, and when he’s not being adorable he’s just being fucking hot.

Maybe you will be ready to give up the single life if it’s with Jake. 

You nod with a smile, wondering if he expects you to delete the app too. Because you’re not so sure about that, but also you think you probably would if he asks with those stupid doe eyes. 

Strangely enough, he doesn’t even ask. He just starts eating the food with a content look on his face. Sweat having dried up but left his hair a mess, his skin is glowing– you think…oh no. Why are you looking at him like this?

“Hey, I should probably call Jay and tell him not to come home until late tomorrow or something.”

Jake nods, lifting his eyes to you and watching you take your phone out. 

“I should call my friend too, he told me to let him know when I get my cherry popped.”

You snort at him with a laugh right as Jay answers the phone, and honestly, you’d rather listen to Jake’s friend than Jay whining about having to spend even more time with his overbearing parents. 

“Hey Jay, don’t come home 'til I call you tomorrow, bye.” You say quickly before hanging up. 

Instantly you’re setting your plate on your table and launching yourself at Jake and his phone. 

“Put him on speaker.”

Jake does just that, laughing at Heeseung’s reaction when he hears you speak rather than his best friend over the line. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

[mozzarella-stickz]

breaking my tumblr silence because mike schmidt from the five nights at freddy’s movie has me in a CHOKEHOLD (18+ POST MINORS DNI)

now, i see you sub mike enjoyers and you go guys (we need more sub men) however i am a firm believer in dom mike who can tame a brat and loves being in control

idk i’m just imagining it in my head, you’re his girlfriend, you live with him (this is after the events of the movie in my mind) and you watch abby when he has night shifts at his new job because you love abby and you work day shifts at the mall (where you guys met at). he comes home after a long night, abby’s with a friend at a sleepover, and you’re watching some shitty movie on TV when he gets home. mike’s tired, and he wants nothing more than to collapse into bed with you beside him (maybe a little snuggle fucking too…), however you just don’t want to listen. you keep telling him “5 more minutes!” watching the TV and every time he says the 5 minutes are up you keep asking for more.

he’s fed up with you at this point. mike knows you’re doing this to get a rise out of him, and luckily for you (or unluckily) he knows exactly how to deal with your bratty attitude.

“5 more minutes?” you whine one more time, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“no,” he says sternly. “i told you it’s time to go to sleep.”

“but ‘m not tired!”

“i don’t wanna fucking hear it. get your ass to bed, or you’re going to get it.”

you smirk at him before turning back to the TV, stretching out so your ass is on full display. you’re in one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers, making his cock throb.

mike wastes no time, grabbing the remote and shutting off the TV. you whine at first, but then he THROWS YOU OVER HIS SHOULDERS and manhandles you into the bedroom. you shriek and smack against his back, but he refuses to put you down.

when you get into your shared bedroom, mike sits down on the bed, before manhandling you over his lap. he tugs down the boxers, smacking your ass hard.

“5 for each time you asked to keep watching TV,” he says, low and gravelly. “and you have to count.”

it winds up being 15 spanks, by the end tears are streaming down your face. mike coos at you softly as he hugs you into his chest, rocking you back and forth and stroking your hair.

“you gonna be good girl for me now?” he asks.

“mhm,” you mumble. “wanna be your good girl.”

“i know you do, baby. just hard cause you wanna be bad sometimes, right?”

“mhm.”

“but i know exactly how to handle you and to make you my good girl. now that i think you’ve been punished enough, i think my good girl deserves to have her sweet pussy tasted.”

he eats you out until you come three times, before fucking you hard and giving you your fourth orgasm. he has tomorrow off from work, and abby isn’t scheduled to be picked up until 2 in the afternoon, meaning tomorrow when you wake up, he can fuck you nice and slow.

i just love mike schmidt <3

[bakugoushotwife]

kinktober day twenty-two: cunnilingus

>>> idk why i’m only here for yandere rough megumi sjdkfkffkg i mean he isn’t all the way yandere but it’s strongly implied, y’all enjoy!

>>> starring: megumi fushiguro x curvy!f!reader >>> cw: yandere-ish behavior, cunnilingus (f receiving) clearly, doggy, overstimulation, prone bone kinda, creampie, jealous megumi. >>> wc: 2.5k >>> event masterlist.

it really was his favorite place to be. being between your legs, face buried in your warm, wet and sweet-tasting cunt was so soothing and fulfilling to him he simply could not get enough. he wondered if he had an oral fixation specifically because of your pussy, almost concerned with how much he loves being on his knees wherever whenever just to get a taste of you. at the beginning of your relationship, megumi was a bit…nervous around you. it wasn’t like his mind wasn’t coursing with lewd thoughts about his pretty little curvy angelic goddess of a girlfriend, he just didn’t know how to tell you he craved your cunt on his face like normal men crave water. so yes, he had to come out of his sexual shell so to speak. but it seems this god forsaken get together at gojo’s was going to ease him out of it—and your cunt wouldn’t be his sweet release, it would be his sloppy playtoy by the end of the night.

not to say that megumi wasn’t pleasing you enough already, though, of course. he may be a bit routine about things, but he always took care of you. did you want him to be a little rougher from time to time? sure, but you’ve never been with someone so eager and passionate about eating you out either. that alone was worth his perhaps lack in kinkiness.

though your boyfriend has a bunch of his own ideas including a host of naughty things he wants to do to you as well as the ones spurring from his crippling jealousy. he’s not even quite sure where it comes from, gojo gave him everything he needed out of life and he never felt jealous of other kids growing up despite his unconventional upbringing. but when it came to you, he felt something sinister tug at him. maybe it was because you are so otherworldly beautiful that he can’t help but be on standby, waiting for someone to make a shitty comment about your body or stealing you away. maybe it’s because he knows he’s not doing enough to earn the pleasure of calling you his. but no one else could do any better than him, he knows that for sure.

so why is yuuta trying? he knows full well who you belong to—gojo’s famed favorite former pupil has you pulled aside, which doesn’t go unnoticed by your protective and sensitive boyfriend. it’s been years since you all had gojo-sensei’s class, but megumi still hated that yuuta okkotsu. his dad favored him as his successor over him, and even yuji took to him pretty quickly. those were reasons enough to hold a forever grudge, but watching the older man hold all your attention was driving him to murderous thoughts. having all the former sorcerers in one spot wasn’t a good idea—especially not when megumi had acquired an absolute babe in the time apart from his now young adult friends.

especially not when yuuta had you leaned against the wall, nervously chuckling to whatever he was saying, eyes darting around to look for your boyfriend. megumi was frozen in place, trying to settle the argument between the devil and angel on each shoulder. he could just approach yuuta and explain reasonably that you’re spoken for, and that he should keep it moving. but on the other hand, he thinks he should punch yuuta in the face because everyone knows you’re spoken for and that he’s your man. then he should drag you upstairs and fuck you sore and screaming until every person in attendance was uncomfortable. he can see you get increasingly anxious, so he makes the decision.

“c’mon okkotsu. you know that’s my girl.” you hear the ice drip from his tone. he’s not playing any games, and that’s clear by his unamused scowl and the way he folds his arms over his chest. you’re relieved to see him, smiling softly at the man you’ve always known to be your stoic and calm boyfriend. but the look in his eyes as he slides them over to look at you sends a shiver down your spine. yuuta chuckles nervously, blaming the alcohol and your cute dress for his lack of sense.

megumi growls at that, rearing his hand back to start a real problem. this was practically his house, he didn’t care about any potential repercussions—but your voice comes over him to invoke reason.

“hey hey, point made. he’s gone.” you know it’s true based off the shuffling of yuji and toge getting off the couch to ensure that yuuta and megumi are separated before it can come to blows. you lean into his chest, but his gaze only follows the group of boys as they shift upstairs.

his arms fall around your waist, and he wonders if he actually even heard what you said or if your voice alone was enough to make him hesitate. the rest of the party guests still watch the scene—wondering if it gets better or worse from here. some of them had experienced megumi’s temper before, some knew it was a horrific mix of nurture and nature, both his father and the man who raised him horrifically jealous beasts of nature. and the apple doesn’t fall far.

“go upstairs. find a room.” he snarls, daring anyone in attendance to speak up against him. your cheeks flush at his command. he’s only ever spoken to you with a gentle tone, with patience and understanding and all the warmth a man like himself can convey. but you’ve yearned for this other side—this gruffness in his voice and the unwavering dominance in his eyes. he doesn’t care that everyone’s watching—in fact, he wants them to. you nod eagerly, turning tail to find an unoccupied spare room in gojo’s giant house.

he only loiters behind long enough to let everyone watch you obey him—the prettiest woman in the universe, who could easily have anyone she ever wanted, caters to his every whim and order. he lags behind you just a bit, but you can feel his presence. it’s dark. he’s always been a distant, more guarded man. because of that, he’s always been regarded as cold. but his light never felt daunting until now. he never felt oppressive or controlling or possessive; you don’t have to look over your shoulder to know he’s close. it makes heat lick up your stomach walls and bubble down your legs as you wobble towards a room at the end of the hall that was sure to be vacant. you knock to be sure anyway, but megumi reaches around your waist to open the door anyway. his other hand grips your hip, pushing your forward with the pressure of his pelvis against your ass.

you gasp and stumble into the darkness, giggling a little in excitement as you find the bed. megumi’s fingers find the light switch, and you turn to look at his anger riddled features, something only jealousy could produce.

“yuuta okkotsu, huh?” he asks, pulling his shirt over his head. it messes up the spiky tendrils of his hair, but you don’t notice over the crazed look in his eyes. he’s pale and lean, dips along his slender abdomen indicating the strength hiding beneath. he fiddles with his belt next. “you have a voice. why didn’t you tell him to back off?”

you flush with embarrassment, anxiety rippling at your core to mix with the burning excitement. “i—i was try—“

“i—i” megumi mocked, licking his teeth. he walked closer to you, taking over that tiny little sundress you wore that was no doubt the only layer keeping him or anyone else away from your drooling cunt. it aggravates him. you look this beautiful out in public all the time—and it really didn’t matter if you were in this slutty dress or a goddamn burlap sack, anyone with eyes in their head could tell that you were an angel among mortal men. “you’re too nice for your own good. you almost got his ass kicked because you don’t know how to speak up for yourself.”

you bite your lip, nodding along to his scolding. you know you should apologize to him, but you can’t deny how much it turns you on to see him so angry. especially when he approaches you, pushing your sitting form in to a laying one so he could yank you by the hips to the bottom of the bed. he flips your sundress up, snarling again when he finds you bare—and soaking fucking wet.

“oh i see. you’re cute enough to parade around like this but can’t tell other boys you have a man?” he spits on your pussy, sliding it around your hood and lips with his middle and ring fingers. “i’ll help you find your voice.”

he shoves your thighs apart and keeps them like that, rolling his eyes as you squirm and writhe. it’s only in excitement, though. your hands find his hair to prove it as he dives toward your cunt, lapping at you eagerly. he can’t help but moan at your taste—no matter how many tried only he got to experience this moment, the way you look with his mouth suckling on your clit; brows draw up in ecstasy, lip already swollen and puffy from your teeth repeatedly gnawing into it. he couldn’t help but be obsessed with you, anyone would be—it was clear that pretty much everyone was.

but you remind him of your love when you clutch your thighs around his face, tugging his hair so hard he has no choice but to bury his face deeper, sucking and biting on your clit so roughly you whimper—big hands that always stay cool to the touch paw at the meat of your thighs to let you know just how much he enjoys being one that pleasures you. he needs to hear you scream his name—needs you to let everyone know who it is that’s got you seeing stars and arching off the mattress.

“meg—gonna cum, oh sh—“ your stomach burns, and you lurch and crumple to try to relieve it, but megumi holds you down. he grunts to egg you on, demanding your orgasm to come quicker as he nibbles on the very source of your pleasure, sending colorful orbs flashing across your vision as you wail his name. you’re getting there, but he knows you can get louder.

“don’t hold back now, do better.” he seems agitated as he hooks his arms around your thighs—pulling your cunt to his face without any means of escape. he slides his tongue back in your hole, intense jaded emerald eyes watching your contorted face of deliriousness. you were brainless already, chants of ‘megumi—megumi—megu—meg-megumi!’ roll past your lips as he slides his tongue along your entire slit, nose bumping against your swollen and oversensitive clit so hard he almost feels bad for all his old classmates and friends listening to your guttural cries. almost.

you’re weightless, suspended in space—floating in a river of unending bliss. it’s too much. you’re finally getting what you’ve always asked for and you can’t handle it—and his pants are still on. the only things tying you to the planet are: the feeling of his soft hair clenched tight in between your fingers, the tears stinging at the corners of your eyes from the sheer pressure of his mouth milking your pussy, and his delicious grunts of demand. you can’t deny him, and your hips clearly beg for more as they hump his face to push you towards your second edge in just a few minutes.

he hopes yuuta and all those other motherfuckers that have ever thought about toeing the line get the fucking message—you’re certainly being loud and clear. your vision darkens completely, mouth dropped in a permanent yell of his name. it’s perfect, and megumi lacks the patience to be gentle, for once. he shoves you back, lips glistening with your slick, cheeks red from his hard work and eyes flickering with a cold flame so hot your whole body burns for him.

he shrugs, shoving his pants down and tugging at the hand of his solid black briefs next. “face down, ass up.” you bite your lip in anticipation, rolling to your stomach in the pretty arch he requested. he nods at your obedience, getting up on the bed with you. his cool touch finds your hips at the same time his fat cockhead finds your entrance—and he’s pulling you down on him mercilessly. “don’t you dare quiet yourself. i want them to hear everything.”

his growl affects you almoat as much as his rough strokes, curved pale length stabbing through to your cervix without any breaks in between. megumi cursed under his breath, pulling your arms behind your back to ensure that you struggled to obey him. it was cute watching you turn your face in the covers so he—and everyone else—could hear your animalistic cries. he pins your wrists in one massive trap of his own hand, his other still leveraging a hold on your hip to keep you from escaping his brutal ruts.

it’s no wonder he’s a jealous fucking freak over you at all. your pussy was magical, soaking wet and beaten into the shape of him and him alone—you gripped him like his own personal mold. he couldn’t stomach anyone even thinking about having you in the way he has you right now. it messes with him that he can’t stop that—but maybe your gorgeous curses of his name will be enough to ward off such worries for a while. he fills you so perfectly you could never think about another man anyway—even if he was only soft and gentle and tender with you, a far cry from what he is right now, you’d never stray. but especially with this performance, with your brain jolting around in your head and nothing but fire and ice flooding your senses—you can only scream out your love for him just like he wants.

“that’s what i’m talking about. scream and cum, babe.” he encouraged, letting your hands go so he could yank on your hair. he tugs hard, and it sends electricity shooting down your spine. his voice is so raspy and needy as his cock twitches inside your walls—as unforgiving and tight as they were since you were fluttering close to your release. “i said cum.”

you gasp out, feeling him pinch your clit again, the final push you needed as you reach out for the headboard. he keeps you from crawling away by knocking you flat to the bed, hand sprawled across your back to make you take it. you’re a goner, only able to feel the ridges of his cock abusing your worn hole—scraping against the entrance to your womb from this angle. his speed dies down and warmth floods your cunt, making a dumb little smile spread across your face. he rolls his hips into your ass slower, riding out your high. he’s panting, running a hand through his sweaty hair before he leans over to kiss you. he’s still needy, eagerly finding your mouth and kissing you with a beautiful mix of passion and aggression.

it sinks in then just how rough he’s been with you, and his eyes flash with regret. his lips move to form an apology—but a knock on the door cuts him off.

“hey junior—you done? everyone’s traumatized. great work.” gojo snickers—clearly proud of his boy.

[nicofics]

𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙞 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙠

𝘣𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪 𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

summary: you and the gang meet giorno for the first time

notes: idk what happened i had an urge to write this, but happy late christmas!! i hope everyone who celebrates had a good day! <3

you had been with bucciarati and the rest of the gang for years, you had joined slightly after narancia. you had a great relationship with almost everyone in the gang, they all trusted you and you trusted them. it was great! right now however, you were sitting at the usual meeting spot. you had preferred bucciarati bring this new guy to meet you all back at the house, we’re weren’t bothered to get ready today; but alas, you did. abbacchio was listening to music, mista was reading a book on who knows what, and fugo was trying to teach narancia some math. a pretty normal day.

bucciarati had told you all beforehand that you’d be getting a new member. nobody really seemed to care much, but you thought it’d be a nice idea to get some cake! the waiter rolled it out, and upon hearing the creaking of the wheels moving towards your table, you directed the waiter on where to place the cake slices. once the waiter left, you couldn’t help but almost drool at the strawberry sitting atop of the cake, you just had to have a slice now! you couldn’t wait on this new guy. on your way to grab a slice, you were interrupted.

“hey! whats the deal with this?” you and everyone else turned your heads towards mista, “what do you mean? its strawberry cake?” fugo responded, quite confused on what he meant. “yeah, it looks delicious too..” you added, you could’ve been in your own world with this cake, you didn’t really know. “yeah! i can see that its a strawberry cake” mista spoke, “it’s obviously not chocolate cake, or a cheesecake either! but thats not the point! there are four slices! four! do they want me to die?” mista exclaimed. abbacchio didn’t want to be apart of this conversation, he kept his head phones on. you sighed, “this again mista? get over yourself” “shut up (name)! it’s bad luck to choose one from four! talk about shitty service!” abbacchio got up from his chair, grabbing a slice, you noticed this and did the same, finally getting a slice of this cake that seemed to annoy everyone.

“don’t have a slice then” fugo said, “but i want some strawberry cake!!” “i did it!” narancia spoke up, you hadn’t heard his voice yet, seemed he was focused on the work fugo had set him. you didn’t care much, grabbing your fork and taking a bite, woah! it tasted so good! you could hear narancia and fugo talk about numbers, but you didn’t care. you put your fork down to let your tastebuds sit in wonder at this flavour when all of a sudden fugo grabbed your fork and stabbed narancia in the cheek with it. “hey! fugo what the hell?!” you shouted, fugo seemed to ignore you, grabbing narancias head he shouted, “you stupid asshole! you’re messing with me!” you glared at him, he’s the asshole here, he stole your fork!

you growled before grabbing abbacchio’s fork, he seemed to be finished eating now. “oh jeez hes lost it now” you nodded. “asshole stole my fork” you responded to mista. suddenly, narancia pulled a fork to fugos neck, “i’ll kill you! i’ll kill you fugo!” you didn’t care anymore, served him right you thought. you just continued to eat your cake with abbachios old fork.

“what the hell are you guys doing?!” a new voice spoke up, everyone froze, looking over. “i could hear you all from the entrance. you’re disturbing the other customers” bucciarati walked towards your table, a blonde guy walked behind him. “this is the new member i was telling you about yesterday, this is giorno giovanna” everyone glared at him, including you, right now wasn’t the best time to meet someone new. “i’m giorno giovanna, its a pleasure to meet you all” he spoke up, you eyed him down. he seemed young, 15? 16 maybe? definitely the new youngest member.

you turned back to your cake, you weren’t bothered to respond back to him, it seemed everyone else had the same idea as you did. narancia began apologising to fugo, and fugo even apologised to you too! “hey! i’m the one who brought him here, so be respectful!” bucciarati spoke, his eyebrows furrowed. a waiter came into the room, requesting bucciarati, he nodded, beginning to follow the waiter. “make sure you guys introduce yourself to giorno, got it?” you rolled your eyes, but while doing so, you (and everyone else at the table) noticed abbacchio pulling the teapot to his trousers. you giggled slightly, turning to giorno.

“giorno? was it?” abbacchio spoke, “why don’t you take a seat?” giorno complied, pulling a seat out and sitting down. you couldn’t help but smile as abbacchio poured giorno some ‘tea’ “well, drink up” “thank you for the tea” giorno spoke before pulling the teacup up to his mouth, he stopped in his tracks. “whats wrong giorno? not gonna drink the tea that abbacchio poured out for you?” you spoke, fugo and narancia laughed. “maybe he doesn’t want to be apart of us” mista added, only making everyones smile wider and even more mischievous.  “what the hell’s going on here?” bucciarati had returned, giorno looked up and smiled, “nothing, abbacchio just poured some tea for me” giorno told bucciarati.

then, giorno brought the cup to his lips and downed it in mere seconds. everyone looked at him, shocked. “no freakin’ way..” narancia said. “what did you guys do?” giorno placed the cup on the table, not a trace left. “he actually drank it!” you exclaimed. mista laughed, “no way! did you seriously do that?!” “no! theres no way he could have!” fugo added, trying to figure out how giorno did it. “come on tell me! how’d you do it?” you asked him. giorno shrugged, “who knows? you’re all keeping your abilities secret, aren’t you?” you all gasped, giorno giovanna was a stand user, just like you.

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

My brain would not shut the fuck up for 2 seconds, so to satisfy it, have a compilation of out of context questions and shitty takes:

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

20. Be gay, do crime, eat boys up, idk, peace ✌️

—a very sleep deprived bird anon

1. So I sold my soul to Alastor for jambalaya (would've done it for free frfr), what do i call you now? Sir? Boss? Daddy? AHEM, what do your souls even do? Will I just join the hotel? Cuz I'm fine with that.

"Boss will do just fine. And you can do as you please - I'm not like some, who require their souls to tirelessly work for them. I'll call on you if I have need."

2. Can Angel shoot webs out of his ass? (I don't know where the fuck this came from)

"Uh, no."

3. Husk, do you blink slowly at the people you trust and love? Cuz cats do that.

"Not that I'm aware of."

4. Charlie do you bleat like a goat?

"Um, no, I'm... not a goat."

5. Does Alastor taste like venison? Experience rut? Also, can you make different calls besides squeaks and bleats? Do your horns get stuck on shit? Ever broke Vox's screen with a 'love tap'? Also did you know there's a ship with you and your mom? That shit is vile

"I suppose my flavor profile might bear some similarities to venison, but I imagine I do taste rather different. I don't experience rut, I can make different sounds, and no, my horns do not get stuck - I can shrink them easily. I have broken Vox's screen while fighting and when he's attempted to wake me up, but I wouldn't qualify either as a 'love tap'. And I do wish you hadn't shared that."

6. Do y'all know Lilith is just in heaven, drinking a slushie on the beach while y'all are out here suffering?

"Yeah, you're not the first person to share that. But Charlie doesn't know, and I'm keeping it that way until I get more answers. It would crush her."

7. Luci what's your opinion on the other sins? (All of em)

"They're like family, and like most families, I get along with some more than others. Ozzie is definitely who I'm closest to, Bee's always fun, Levy's cool, Bel's great, Satan and I butt heads sometimes, and Mammon... can admittedly get on my nerves."

8. Vox what your best 'Alastor got drunk and cuddly story?' Also did you ever convinced him to wear a dress? (I'm not talking about the bets, talking about you actually managing to convince him yourself, no strings attached, to wear a dress.) Is your dick a cable? Do you eat batteries? And are you aware of how creative your simps are? (ESPECIALLY ON PINTEREST ISTG PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL)

"I'm not telling you a whole story when you asked so fucking much. No, I haven't gotten him in a dress outside of the bet. Do you have any idea how much he hates deviating from his look? And no, my dick is not a cable, and I don't eat batteries. But yes, of course my simps are very creative. Right, Mel?"

9. Vaggie, did you ever watch Encanto and notice that Mirabel sounds like you? Also, you're Spanish, right? (Yay, like me, matchy), what's your fave dish?

"I haven't noticed that, and um... as I've mentioned before, I don't really have any memories before joining Adam's army. I used to think I was Heavenborn, but I get these flashes, and... I think I might be from Central America? I don't know. I do love tamales, I know that."

10. Val what was the fucking point of trying to drug Vox? Like? Even if it worked, Alastor would've fucked you up so hard your dick would come out of your mouth. Did you just think he'd be mad at Vox for getting fucking raped? Idiot.

"They weren't even together yet. Alastor wouldn't have even known anything happened, if you idiotas hadn't gotten involved. Voxxy just would have chosen to stay with me, and their little budding romance would have fizzled out as it should have."

11. Husk, did you ever perform in front of a crowd? Because if I'd have your voice, I'd never shut up.

"I mean, I used to be a stage magician, so... yeah."

12. Niffty, have you heard of Vox's employee, Baxter? He's like Sir. Pentios but a way better bad boy, about your height, and a mad scientist. Bet he could make experiments on your bugs and find new ways to kill em or sum.

"Ooooh, Vox, I want to meet Baxter!"

13. Velvette, my fucking queen, on my knees for you, ugh, it's your voice or your personality, idk what, but I want it. Give it. I love u queen. What's your fave dress you ever made?

"Everything I make is the best - how the fuck can I pick one favorite?"

14. If Vox would be a princess, he'd be a greedy princess. I scouted the internet for anything, and after being reminded that El Dorado exists, I think the best I found is Chel. She's smart and greedy, and wants more gold. That's the best i found. Or just fuck it and you're Ariel but a shark. Now I have to draw that.

"Haven't seen it, so I'll take your word for it."

15. Angel did you discover you were gay back when you were alive or in hell? Also, how was it Italy? I plan on visiting and maybe going to a concert at it, cause the language sounds so fucking pretty and idk how to describe it, just beauty.

"When I was alive, and uh... yeah, my family's Italian, but I'm from New York. Lived there my whole life. Neva' been to Italy."

16. So, Alastor, is Niffty in a contract with you afterall, or did she just exist in your house one day and you just adopted her? Also, Charlie can now technically call you dad, cause your her mom's boyfriend, so maybe stepdad? Second dad?

"Niffty is my friend - of course I don't own her soul! And I was already a father-figure to Charlie, but I never seriously meant that she should call me dad."

17. Charlie girl, you did it! You fixed your mommy issues with your dad, your new mom, and your mom's boyfriend.

"Uh... I don't think that's how that works..."

18. Hazbing hotel should be renamed issues hotel, cuz we got Daddy issues (Angel, Alastor, Husk I think?), Mommy issues (Charlie ((she kinda solved them)), Pentios maybe), parent issues (Husk ig, Vox, maybe velvette? Cuz if she was just 19 ((young kween, we stan u girl)), I imagine her parents sucked ((boo, tomato tomato))), uh, just straight up issues (Luci, Vaggie, I recon Val had a shitty life) and a shitton of trauma.

"Fuck off, my dad was awesome."

"And for the last time, I don't have 'daddy issues'. My mother did just fine on her own."

19. Alastor did you wear cattle shoes back when you were alive? Also, how is New Orleans? I think it looks really pretty and has a beautiful beautiful culture. Maybe if I have money, I'll visit! See where my fave serial killer murderer came from. Also, is French hard to learn? I'd like to give it a shot. Last thing: drop that lash care girllll, why do men have such pretty lashes? Scratch that, why are men like you so pretty?

"I did, and New Orleans is indeed beautiful. I strongly recommend a visit! And I must admit, I don't speak fluent French. I can speak some Creole French that I picked up throughout my life. It was never something I studied, though. As for your last question, I'm afraid I don't quite know how to answer that."

Note from Mel: Please only send one or two asks at a time. This was a bit overwhelming, and it makes tagging complicated.

[johanna-swann]

Imagine this: You go to a burger restaurant with a friend and your food comes out. It's delicious, you're really enjoying yourself. The atmosphere, the company, the food itself - all of it is great. Then you notice that a stranger two tables over ordered sweet potato fries. And you hate sweet potato fries or maybe you're allergic and you would never ever ever order those for yourself.

Now there's a few normal things you could do. You could ignore the situation because that person is a stranger and it's none of your business and it won't affect you in any way. You can leave that person alone and privately say to your friend "man, I don't understand why people eat that, why would you want your fries to taste sweet?" without disturbing the other customers who are also just trying to have a nice meal.

But what you wouldn't do is walk up to that stranger, tell them they're a fucking idiot and that sweet potato fries are disgusting and you wish they'd kill themselves for having such shitty taste.

If you did that in a public setting, you might get the cops called on you actually. Yet some of y'all feel like this is perfectly normal behaviour when it comes to fandom and shipping. I've literally never spoken to you before, I just wanna eat my snack in peace and here you are yelling in my inbox.

Like. I will never understand fans who turn into active and loud haters over a ship. I've been somewhat involved in fandom for 10 years now, of course I've come across ships I've absolutely detested. Not just rare pairs and crack ships, but popular ships that were everywhere, too.

I had my Marvel phase and I don't think I liked any of the fanon slash ships (except maybe Sam/Bucky and Tony/Rhodey/Pepper as a throuple). I watched bbc Sherlock, but I never shipped Johnlock. (Not in that version at least. The books were pretty gay, as were RDJ and Jude Law.) I'm still active in the Merlin fandom where about 80% of all posts are about Merthur and I get so annoyed by that sometimes. (I'll admit I shit talked Reylo a lot when those movies came out, but I always tag my anti content.)

But did you know you don't have to voice your hate out loud all the time? Did you know you can just say "hm, I get where you're coming from, but it's not for me" and be done with the conversation? Did you know you can criticise a ship without hurling insults at the fans who do enjoy it?

If you really absolutely have to blow off some steam, do it in private. Call a friend, dm a fandom mutual, idk. But try to keep the general tags which are kind of a public space hate free please? If even the mention of a ship has you frothing at the mouth and spewing out a (grammatically tragic) rant of a post, maybe it's time to take a step back and ask yourself: "Is this what I want to spend my time and energy on? Or should I just block the tag and keep scrolling?"

[yakultii]

today was so wild it went from being so extremely shitty and thinking I wasn’t getting out of bed to then extremely grateful because I turned my day around and was glad to be alive to then nearly being bashed on a bus lmao nothing went to plan today and I didn’t end up getting my banh mi because I ate a brekky burger right before I left (and also I went in the opposite direction to the place I was gonna eat from) but positives of today are that I went to chadddy (biggest shopping centre (aka mall for international moots) in not just aus but the southern hemisphere if you didn’t know except it’s also my local like 10mins away) and I bought a few random useful bits and bobs from miniso and daiso <33 and I also bought a few random drinks from a supermarket in the shopping centre cause I’d never seen said drinks before and one thing about me I love trying one off random drinks and then I came home and FaceTimed one of my brothers and marinated some tempeh for tomorrow cause apparently I’m in my cooking era which is extremely suss of me???? (but I’m sure it’ll die off in a week when uni is back) but it’ll be interesting to see how it tastes tomorrow in a stirfry - the marinade was basically honey soy & garlic (I don’t follow recipe bc my adhd brain could never so I just make it up myself but I also wanna experiment w this a bit over next few days and come up w the perfect marinade I reckon) also did a random face mask and hair mask and ate lotsa meals ofc.. I do however wish I drank a little more water but it’s only like 8pm there’s still time!!!! I can’t believe tomorrow is Monday (last week before uni classes are back), I think tomorrow’s goals are to cook the mince in my fridge I bought for burritos to freeze and to try the tempeh in a stir fry also and to drink more water and maybe go for a walk cos I didn’t really do that today other than in the shopping centre which honestly counts bc I always get lost tryna find my way out despite having been there 99449483722 times bc I am directionally challengedlol… anyways, as a whole I feel like this exact same day I would have said was shit or mid at most in the mindset I was in before I started my daily positive things tag cos inevitably w my health rn there is a shit element in every day but I’m slowly shifting my mind to realise that’s an element of the day (though it does infiltrate all of it in a way Ssshh) and there are many other elements and actually I’m not mad that I’m here for the good elements.. I’m also like allowing myself to partake in the good elements which has been a little unexpected!! still as isolated as ever and hate the cold but so far this winter is feeling more manageable than ever before!! (maybe bc I’m not trying to come off a certain med like I try to this time every year even tho I so desperately want to but like extreme insomnia is the result of that and ruins eberything so idk if wanna risk it rn ahhhhh) I know it’s not much for a lot of ppl but I feel like I’m doing so much(for me) than this time last year and the year before and many years before when I couldn’t even get myself out of bed let alone do more than one task (I really hope I can keep this going when uni is back) ok imma quit yappin now

[ellievickstar]

Funny little thing (Lucien x Rhys’s Sister!Reader)

You A/N: I know that when you read the title you feel: Oh this sounds cute- NO! This is angst. I will write angst. This is day two of my 300 follower week. *Evil cackle that descends into a cough*. Anyways, this is my first time writing Lucien! I hope you like it. 

Summary: When Lucien tries to use his past as an excuse for his behaviour, the reader finally has had enough and reveals her past to him. 

Request: N/A

Inspiration: That one TikTok song? Idk I can’t find it so if anyone knows the name of the song please tell me :D

Warnings: Mentions and descriptions of abuse (physical, verbal and emotional),  shitty writing cause I was watching a movie while writing this, fic is not proofread, arguments, manipulation, emotional blackmail, Lucien being an overall asshole, Beron Vanserra is mentioned. 

~*~*~*~*~

You flinched when the glass table rattled as his fist came down upon it. Lucien radiated frustration as he huffed an exasperated sigh, glaring at you. You stared at Lucien agape as he turned to you, towering over you by at least a foot. 

“What do you expect me to do? Huh? She’s my mate!” He growled as he took a step towards you, you stepping back. You turned away as the smell of alcohol from your friend engulfed you. You had always admired Lucien’s ability for surviving his father, for surviving everything, but this…addiction was not the way to go. 

When you had brought up your issue with it he shut you down instantly, claiming that he was heartbroken from seeing his mate bond with another male and wanted to just forget. The first week you had agreed with yourself that Lucien was allowed a pity party after everything, but it had been months and there was no change. You watched as your friend walked through a mindless schedule of sleep, work and drinking. By the cauldron, he didn’t even eat anymore. 

“Lucien, you have to listen, you are hurting people! You just yelled at a little girl!” You pushed as you tried to reason with your best friend. “You have to stop, you have to get help, I can help you!” You knew Lucien had an aversion to therapy and counselling, and with good reason, however, you were trained from young in healing, both physically and physiologically, you father believed that if you were going to inherit useless powers, you could at least master that. Your thought about your father brought a bitter taste to your mouth, making you dismiss the rising memories quickly. 

Lucien shook his head and you opened your mouth again when suddenly a hard impact hit you across the face. You gaped as you brought your hand to your cheek, thankfully no bleeding, but hell did it sting. You couldn’t believe that he- 

You laughed hysterically at your next thought. He would. He wasn’t the same anymore and you knew it. You had always known, but you listened to excuse after excuse and now you were done. 

“If you ever want to talk, don’t even try anymore, because I am done. If you want to apologise, wait until you are sober,” You mumbled and took up your bag from the corner and winnowed to The House of Wind. 

~*~*~*~*~

Rhysand was furious. Once he discovered what happened, it took convincing a hell lot of convincing to get him to not go and murder Lucien. Both Cassian and Azriel were also tempted to kill him, but agreed that they would wait until they gave them a green light before making Lucien’s life a living hell. 

Elain felt terrible as she helped you to ice the blooming bruise, she tried to apologise, reasoning that maybe if she had given Lucien a chance maybe this would never happen, but you disagreed. Lucien might have suffered, but this was a choice on his own. And he had no one to blame. 

You decided to bury yourself into your work, refusing to turn to the same methods that Lucien had, that your father had. You worked with younger children while working to start up a counselling clinic from youths and younger, something you had wanted to do for a while. With the help from Elain and her appeal to younger kids and families, the both of you worked together to run what you both hoped to be the start of the best outreach clinic for young minds. You wanted them to feel seen, and Elain wanted to help them learn how to explore themselves. 

On top of that, Cassian and Azriel decided that they would help ensure the security of the children for those who came at later times. You were more then grateful for their work, knowing that the safety of the children were in good hands.

Months went by with no word from Lucien. He showed up to meetings, but he never stayed for dinner. Never attended any parties. You had to admit that a part of you missed him, but this was for the best. That was when he came in one day while you and Elain were closing up. You first felt his presence and stilled, Elain’s eyes were focused on him as she glared at him, you cursed both Azriel and Cassian for deciding to go out with Rhys today for a drinking night. 

You smiled at Elain, asking her through her mind to wait for you outside and she nodded quickly, hurrying out the door. Lucien’s eyes followed her and you glared at him harshly. 

“Do you need something?” You asked you cocked one eyebrow. Lucien rolled his eyes and you scoffed. 

“Look, I’m sorry that I lashed out at you, but you’re overreacting, you don’t know what I’ve been through, you don’t understand,”  He argued and you wanted to laugh in his face. How dare he come into your space, invade your time just to spill this bullshit again. You might have fallen for that once, but you were done and you were going to make that clear. 

“You are a pathetic man, Lucien,” You hissed. “You drink, and pity yourself, and you do nothing, you have struggled and survived and you have nothing to show for it,” You snarled. He sighed angrily and tried to reason with you again. 

“I suffered under my father, I suffered, I am broken, you don’t understand a single thing because you are spoiled and entitled just like your brother,” He growled. That made you laugh. Tears burn in your eyes as one escaped and rolled down your cheek. You wiped it away and laughed again, the sound was empty, dead, held no humour in it. 

“It’s a funny thing, suffering,” You started, shushing Lucien when he tried to interrupt you. “You abused our relationship, my friendship and used it to your advantage, but not anymore. I am done Lucien. You can make all the excuses you want about being broken our tortured, but you also don’t know me. You don’t know how I’ve suffered, what I have sacrificed, what I have been made to do,” You breathed as you pushed him out of the clinic. “It’s funny that your the broken one in this friendship when I’m the only one when needed saving, who needed to get out, and now I’m done. So don’t bother me again,” You spat. 

And with that, you grabbed Elain’s hand and winnowed back home, leaving Lucien to ponder how things could have turned out differently. 

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: This is just a taste on what I plan to write, it’s a little rushed, but I think it’s a good idea. I might rewrite in the future with different character’s but who knows? Thank you for reading! Bye my loves <3

Taglist: ask me if you want to be tagged! tag list: @moonfawnx @bankerfrog @hideing@flightlesslittlebirdie @famousbasementpainter  @gigisssz  @cityofidek @judig92

[acnhconfessions]

i want a game thats kind of, mostly like acnh with all its customization and yes the fact you can keep the villagers hostage bc im evil like that. but with all the charm and coziness that acnl seems to have. listening to the music from that game or looking at screenshots from the game, i get this overwhelming cozy feeling of both like, a warm summer night and a festive winter day. i never got to play it bc i was still tiny when it came out and then when i got interested in ac they stopped selling acnl, also i have no clue how to use an emulator lol.

for some reason it reminds me of like, falling asleep mid-day while reading and laying in the sun. or like, going out for a walk while its raining and seeing all the worms start to come out of the dirt. or just going about your day completely normal until you see 1 little thing and youre suddenly transported back into childhood as nostalgia washes over you. it feels like buying yourself a little snack after work, or like making dinner using vegetables you grew yourself. like home brewed coffee. nl tastes mostly sweet but with a bit of bitterness and saltiness. nl would taste like toast with jam on it.

of course, thats just a romanticized version of it but comparing that with the real experience i have with acnh is just kind of... i know acnh seems to be the most hated game at the moment but honestly sometimes it feels like chore. some days i dont even talk to my villagers and just go straight to the dlc. the flowers multiply too fast and its really bothering if you only want a certain flower color or they spread so much theres not enough room to place things. i use my house as more of a storage unit than something to decorate. it feels... inorganic, far too sanitized (and thats coming from a germaphobe). if i were to compare how thinking of it right now makes me feel and compare that to how just looking at acnl makes me feel its like...

having a job thats technically easy but draining, and then after a long day you see a motivational poster as you leave. feels like throwing your old clothes in the trash instead of the thrift store. its like those shitty 5 minute crafts with the incomprehensible script. its like a starbucks or dunkin donuts, its not bad tasting but you would only get it on your way to work, you wouldnt sit down at the coffee shop and eat there. it feels like having to pay $4 for 2 tomatoes. so... it just feels corporate and clean. not hating if youre all about that acnh capitalism life!!! it just doesnt feel right. animal crossing is supposed to be like, THE cozy game but nh does not feel cozy.

idk, maybe pocket camp is that game? its a mobile but it came out inbetween nl and nh, im just not sure if i wanna spend date on that

[toxycodone]

Can't send images but I've started working on a silly kobold man

He/Him pronouns, bisexual old man

any name suggestions?? hes just a guy that smelled senshi's cooking and immediately tried to get into the party because damn... Anything sounds better than the shitty rations he haphazardly threw into his pack.

Quick fire random facts:

His fur is short but very soft, he feels like a 3 month old puppy texturally despite being around 38

he needs weight on his chest to sleep well and having pressure on his body is generally comforting for him

he doesn't mind eating strange things as long as they taste good (he's the kinda guy that would try anything once, plus he understands being desperate and having to make things work)

he had a wife (divorced) and a daughter he took care of until she moved out to live with her girlfriend.. so now he is just wandering around aimlessly without any goals, trying to make money and keep in touch with his daughter

hates when people touch him without his consent, especially if they are one of the fully human races (elf, half-foot, etc) trying to pet him/treat him like a dog

The only exception to this rule is senshi (old man yaoi? old man dog yaoi??)

I wish I could send images while anonymous... if u want I can send u the two little doodles I have of him in dms ..? If ur dms r open and ur comfortable with it, imagine a fat short-haired kobold with black, white, and brown fur idk he has black around his face, ears, and down his back, and white where the black ends, and then the rest is dull brown almost grey (with his eyes closed)

Also if u have any ideas story and clothing wise please please give I need some input on this silly man !! help me build this guy Mr. Codon sir..... if u will

oh. ohh my God.

I absolutely, positively, totally love this. like. dungeon meshi has SUCH a silly little world and I love serious OCs just as much as I love the silly ones…

(I volunteer as tribute to sleep on him every night MOVE OVER SENSHI)

BUT OKAY. BAM. LOVE THIS A LOT SO FAR. LET ME GIVE YOU A BACKSTORY IDEA FOR HIM. And some questions to think of

His life before dungeon crawling. Did he live in a typical kobold village? What drove him to take up dungeon crawling (besides money. Was it because the entrance to the Island dungeon was found and Gold stripping became popular and easyish money?)

Why did he and his wife get divorced? How does this affect his relationship with Senshi?

Plus, how do they deal with the language barrier if applicable and the long lived versus short lived life?

And as for backstory ideas on how he meets the party before smelling Senshi’s cooking, I think a good idea would maybe be like…the rest of his party died and he didn’t feel like waiting for the corpse retrievers and decided to finish the job on his own until uh oh! Good ass cooking! (Since he has such a negative view on fully human races anyways and considering how they treat kobolds and don’t value them, maybe this kinda detached approach to dungeon crawling works for him until he becomes close to Laios’s party?)

Just ideas!

Also OFC I WANNA SEE PICS. Can you submit bc my DMs sometimes suck ass and are temperamental

[potatopossums]

it really is time for me to stop having terrible self esteem. like. I'm sick of it. I'm going cold turkey. i don't like it. if i just lay out all my stupid beliefs and my hurtful beliefs maybe they'll finally crumble.

i hate my diet.

sandwiches are stupid

defining your entire personality and whether or not you eat interesting foods: dumb

my cats: annoying me rn. I'm trying to have me time and they're existing too loud. i am not interested in looking out for them right now. I'm looking out for me right now and having a me session

sandwiches are just the dumbest thing. why do they exist. they just taste like crap sometimes. like they taste ok sometimes too and i eat them so much but like what is the goddamn point of them, there are too many.

there are too many foods that suck in general, fuck all them

i hate eating the same thing over and over, or not knowing what i want to eat. i hate having shitty food.

i hate how my body feels after eating some foods. I'm tired of feeling shitty after trying to do a nice thing for myself like eating food i enjoy. i want eating and digestion to be a nice feeling for me, not an anxious, sickly one. i don't want eating to hurt for me. it hurts for me and it sucks and i really hate my body for hurting so much. it sucks and i don't like it.

i also hate bodily functions. i know they're natural and normal and i get that. i just hate unpleasant things like smelling really stinky farts all the time and not being able to say "i hate this smell please do something about it." i hate not being able to express that something smells bad. just having to deal with things that smell bad, against my will? that is stupid.

people who go under the speed limit. get off the road. oh my god. enter the highway at the speed of traffic. stop slowing other people down. if you can't keep up, use public transport. we as a society should be past the need for independence via self owned vehicle. public transport should not be as inaccessible as it is. this is unacceptable.

i want to eat things that taste good. I'm tired of having to settle for either bodily pain or displeasure of taste. i want things to taste good AND feel good. enough of choosing the lesser of two evils. fuck this shit.

idk man I'm just tired of my life being horribly boring and lifeless. i want to do things i actually find fun.

[icantgetnosatisfaction]

16th

am l in denail?

I dont know why l written this. I just did cuz it came to my mind.

I talk to many people, too many. l feel like it is jjust taking too much time and effort but it makes me not to think of my oqn stuff. I am not even saying problems cuz it is not neccessarily should called problems. lt is anything related to me and my future and my past, so pretty much everything yeah.

yesterday was a beautiful tiring day, I had moments that l believe l am going to remember for a long time or for the rest of the my life.

Idk if you can relate however yk sometimes when l see something or hear something I can feel -I can say- lf ı am gonna remember that for a long time or not, or it is gonna be something important or not. Or maybe it is just selective perception.

writing helps, it does.

I should go to sleep early today or earlier than usual.

I should not seek for any person to love or to care, nothing intimate.

I dont desire that, I just want to postpone, I know myself. I know you. I know us. Dont be a coward. Dont distract yourself to avoid eventuality. You know that you are not supposed please yourself regularly cuz all the other member of your community do. They just live cuz their urges are dominant over them but you live, you live for...

indeed what do you live for? or what do you do for the thing you life for? Dont be so scared to not to reply. oh u are not scared? You just dont know? you dont know the damn reason why you are still alive? -still?-. Yeah well he was the reason at first but now what? You got use to that and now u cant just give it up? you are frightened? ,

Well, yes, we do want change, we want the big picture. we want something different. Yet, you keep liiving like others do. Do you get the meaning of that?

it is because ı ate shitty dessert and now my body is pretty unhappy to digest. I really dont understand why I ate that sweet? I dont even like sweet but I kept ate it for some reason

I was not supposed to

I wasnt

I wanted to vomit badly but couldnt do.

I think most of us, people, spend their lives like this. pretty much like this.

They sit in front of the TV. Watch a dump TV show while eating their sweet with a class of tea/coffee. They feel full and they dont really enjoy that TV show either. But they keep eating and watching. Sweet doesnt even taste that good but they eat it, they see the TV too. In the mean while, deep down, they know this isnt the way it should go. They feel the guilt and they know they will regret that moment later. But they keep sitting in front of that TV. Maybe they want unconsciously someone else to be involved and stop these primitive acts of theirs. It is not going to happen, unless they are 3yo or in a rehabilitation center.

gonna draw that view tomorrow

some moments, they stay with you, for a long time

Even you dont know the reason

lastly, what we write is dangerous. even far more dangerous than what we see or read. although l still dont know whether talking or writing is more dangerous than the other.

[maganne-bonete]

I think this might be the most stressful birthday week by far and it's only Tuesday.

I've been aware that my grandfather had dementia maybe weeks or more than a month ago but the thought of it has been troubling me lately.

Recently my bitch of an aunt went to my grandfather's house and ended up arguing with my cousin who's living there. She pulled out a phone to record him and threatened to send the police at him for idk what reason. My sibling and I had to question on what grounds exactly, and my mom even said that she really doesn't have any. My dad questioned my grandfather abt it but since his memory's been deteriorating, he doesn't even know who she was anymore.

But it pisses me off on the fact of how much many of my relatives were so shitty to my grandfather and cousin to begin with. Not that I have full context nor are they shitty towards them 24/7, but my mom jokes that my dad becomes an only child everynight just to take care of my grandpa, despite all our relatives living much closer and my dad being the 7th son of my grandfather. My cousin couldn't take care of him anymore since he started being hostile towards him because of his condition. So it really isn't like I could have a good view on the situation either.

And my cousin, who's an orphan and couldn't afford his own house, constantly gets berated by my aunts growing up and barely ever supported him. It mostly had to be my parents even who made sure he finished highschool and got a degree. My parents even suggested the idea of letting him live with us if he ever get's kicked from there by my other aunt who moved into the house cause of some tradition. Traditionally in our province the youngest kid gets to inherit the parent's house once the time comes but my grandfather is literally still alive. It puts a bad taste in my mouth. (Same aunt never invited my mom or my dad's side of the family to her wedding either)

But it's been also really troubling me how my grandfather's been lately. He even thinks my dad's his grandson rather than his actual son these days. Like, I feel like I haven't spent enough time with him at all and now he's slowly forgetting everything. And as much as how I've been bitching abt my relatives I don't think I'm any better either.

Maybe it's because I'm sad that he probably doesn't remember the times I've been delivering food for him from our house. Or the times he's driven the jeepney just to bring me and my cousins back and forth to school. He was still okay earlier this year when we celebrated his birthday but so much has already happened.

There's this sense of grief I've been feeling it seems. Forgetting is a fate worse than dying, and it makes me wished that I've asked more abt his life straight from his mouth. It's like I allowed him to die this way to begin with.

Like, I'm not an idiot. I, of all people should've tried asking him, writing abt him, recording his stories. He was a boy during the world war and he even worked out of country. There's probably a lot I didn't know that I could only now hear from my father instead. And I just allowed him to die like this even if I knew I should've done better. I should know because history has always been my passion and now, and especially one day, I would pay the price for my laziness and inaction.

There may only be my mother's mother left. She's in Manila right now and even she doesn't have forever. I need to make the right questions. Ask about the times she's lived. Even she was a child during the world wars. Their house in Bikol got bombed directly the moment they left the building. That story still horrifies me and keeps me up sometimes. They could've died there.

Idk, there's just so much I also need to do but this feeling I've been having, this dread, has been eating me up.

[bugpoasting]

ok so:

first off disclaimer: i don’t believe in canonical/only One headcanon so if u have other ideas i am absolutely happy to play in that space as well!!! please please please share any other ideas that you might have i would looooove to hear em. and ur familiar with my brand of girl!aus as well (tldr: dont think too hard about it, this is just a fun Sandbox to explore diff dynamics hehe)

anyways so. instead of being a full-bend, i actually see the monkees having a 50/50 girl-guy split, because while the beatles did make it big in america and around the world as four girl band, the bigwig exec is like, okay it worked for them because they’re the beatles, will the American public accept that?? are they ready for that??? no. so they split down the middle: davy and mike are the guys, and peter and micky are the girls 

(author’s note: while i do have the lore answer personally it’s just because a) davy’s schtick only hits if hes a manlet sorry 😭 and b) similarly the specific neuroticism i wanna explore w/ mike is made more fun if he’s a dude. rip)

ok so. their backgrounds are all fairly unchanged. micky’s still a child actor (circus girl?), similar personality, etc. i think that one semi-change to canon is that at first the studio exec felt a little ehhh at micky doing a lot of her physical comedy gags/getting really goofy with it because like “guys can be weird but girls are gross/unattractive when they do the same….” but pretty quickly let up on that sentiment because she is that damn funny. idk unfortunately i dont have many micky-related Girl brainworms atm but i will keep on cultivating them. I do loooove the image her with those long wild curls tho!!!!!

that being said. imagine the fairy tale castle and evil castle meme because that is. the experiences of girl micky and girl peter like i will be honest it is sooooooo bad for her. so yeah, same as irl, she gets cast as the dumb character but it takes on a muuuuch worse misogynistic slant (like, instead of being The Dummy, it’s her being The Ditz and a dumb blonde hippie etc. etc.) and it eats at her. she follows a similar arc i’d say to irl peter during the monkees period (being ok with being the butt of the joke for the laughs at the start, but getting more and more upset because it’s how the Entire World sees her now, losing her credibility as a musician when that was the world where she cut her teeth in, navigating this super shitty situation as a woman and as a neurodivergent person—its incredibly difficult!!!) 

ok changing tune a little bit but one company line for the show is that they’re explicitly banned from having them depicted as interacting romantically (maybe to keep the hijinks family-friendly? to keep the storylines open?) so like idk it’s a genuinely progressive and wholesome depiction of a mixed-gender friend group that all love each other equally but also on the other hand. they were fawkin behind the scenes. 

which is where i get to the fun stuff. and also sorry beloved mutuals but you are going to see now that i do love a tasteful m/f i am so sorry for my sins. anyways. as a relatively new fan i’ve noticed that there’s a jork and a torksmith meta and as a Make My Blorbo As Miserable As Possible enjoyer: i’m going to mash em together. ok so despite there being a blanket dating ban between the four of them because This Is A Money Making Vehicle You Were Assembled To Be A Product and We Cant Have You Fucking That Up With Your Stupid Feelings And Personal Lives. and they’re really harsh on micky and peter in particular because dudes can be sluts it’s called being a rockstar but Not Women we’re not there yet. but of course the general psychological terrorism they experience traumabonds them together and inappropriate workplace attachments Do abound. so first off early on peter has a crush on davy (as. is canon irl) and davy also likes her back but its early enough that they’re actually still scared of studio backlash so they never act on it but its. really fucking cute!!! just like two fumbling teenagers/young adults type adorable. awkward not-dates, making excuses to sit next to each other and spend time together and so forth!!!! but they do get frightened into dropping it and sublimating that All by the fear of backlash/cancellation/fucking everything up right when they’re hitting big but it is agony. but also it’ll pass as all things do. or so they say

which leads me to phase 2 aka torksmith aka hell hell hell. i dont have the best grasp on timeline yet but i say that it first happens around their first tour (so 1966-67, they’re all incredibly stressed and overworked and unhappy about their lack of control over their public images and the manufactured nature of their existence, etc). right off the bat peter and mike have a built-in solidarity as the Real Musicians/Non-Actors of the group and as the older ones. and like.

okay i need to shift into mike mode for a second. the biggest difference between irl mike and this ‘verse mike is that the universal constraints (homophobia) that would have prevented him from acknowledging or acting on his attraction to peter are gone so like. it is a definite universal fact that as mike was incredibly into peter from the very start. However, he also was very much Married With A Kid. this is where the hell starts. so the quote i keep on coming back to is from —“he couldn’t fit a whole woman in his head” from succ and that’s kind of the vibe im going for here. as a bozo kid raised in a misogynistic society, women To Him are either just Mothers or Wives and exist within these boxes and any other one outside of them don’t matter to him (he’ll fuck them, cheat on his wife with them. but they aren’t Real you know. even micky isn’t real to an extent because she’s Goofy and he doesn’t want to fuck her). but peter. she’s Everything he doesn’t expect a woman to be and just blows his mind from the start. she’s so incredibly intelligent and talented and can Hang with the men in the room and more, she’s so kind and vulnerable yet whip-smart and strong. bisexual (ahem). a better pure musician than the four of them combined, is connected to the Real music scene to an extent none of them were, and just the furthest thing from A Wife or a Mother or a random meaningless Other Woman but rather this singular bright burning presence seared into his retinas. has big massive huge brown eyes that make you want to drown in them and sadtragicvulnerabledoomed smile. its been so over for mike since the start its sooooo over for him. they fuck that one night during the tour in an exhaustion/alcohol/drug/fear/misery fueled hook up and continue to do it pretty consistently through the rest of the band’s existence. this devastates davy. it is also quite miserable to the two parties involved. for once mike actually feels guilty cheating on his wife Because peter is a Real Person and he has Real Genuine feelings for her and he’s miserable in that regard, the asinine nature of playing house with the wife you married too young feeling grating when you could have been Exploring Consciousness or whatever those damn hippies are doing (could he ever have been the person that peter deserved? could they have actually worked Without the apparatus of the monkees around them? the real answer is No but he doesn’t know that yet). whereas on peter’s side she also just feels miserable though all of this LOL because of the cheating (she lived with them and their kid she’s an awful evil person for homewrecking, sure she can turn a blind eye to mike’s endless infidelities because that’s not her fault but this really directly fucking is!!! and she’d like to think that she’s a good person and trying to contribute Good to the world and this is definitely Not Fucking Good!!!). and to make it worse mike is also awful to her Because he takes out his own anger at himself for his feelings and this situation on her. And she can tell that davy’s also really fucking upset as well but choosing not to open up to her about it because that ship has long sailed. PLUS the later studio disagreements where it’s later revealed that despite them actually being able to wrest musical freedom and Winning their fight, they really are not. that compatible as a real musical group it turns out. they clash over the music, the movie, the money, etc. and its bad. god i even more get in this universe why peter bought her way out of the band despite the insane cost. hell environment hell environment. idek if the love was there but it sure as hell did not save anything. can you count a trauma bond as love?

uhhh other miscellaneous worldbuilding details:

imagined the fairy tale episode but with BOTH peter and michael doing drag and ough I Think I Hauve Covid. they do fuck about it in a genderweird way after And michael does project his self-loathing/repression onto peter for being the Representative of this subversive desire and how bad he really wants it. misery wins once again. hell couple

i will be honest i havent ventured As Far into the laurel canyon group lore yet so i wont make any definitive statements abt them but peter is still very much enmeshed in that group here too

beatles girl!au related: peter and george do fuck that one time. also mike also sleeps with john during the DITL music video filming. if timelines are correct i do believe john has met yoko and is incredibly intrigued by her by then but has not yet consummated things (aka still in her #straight era but definitely questioning things). it’s kind of weird and michael is insanely starstruck the whole time. it also does solidify the fact to Him that he is insanely into girls who are strange and offputting. he is not happy about this. 

ok that’s all of what i have so far!!!! feel free to add on/spitball/brainstorm/throw rocks at me if you think it’s inaccurate (full disclosure i dont think i have a Super Perfect grasp of the monkees lore/dynamics yet so i def probably got some things wrong + the abby misery buff makes All situations 500% more sad and awful even if it may not be as character-accurate. sorry it comes with the brain (mine))!!!!! i love collaboration and Talking and discussing aus and hedacanons hit me uppppppp

Hey @bugpoasting do you have any thoughts on girl Monkees in the Sheatles universe

[noiivvern]

-