#idk if i should feel bad for her current gf or not cause like idk if shes even aware shes dating a serial cheater (not just on me lol)

[dzozef]

just accidentally found out my ex is telling people i hated her for having undiagnosed bpd, mfker i hated you cause you cheated on me 4 times and faked liking me so you could use my dads credit card to make online purchases

[ayvepeedee]

entry seven I forgor

never trust someone with a dissociative disorder to remember .

umm idk when i last updated this but i Think it was like sept oct soooo uh update, i have a TUMOR and its most likely not but COULD be cancer ummm and still with the gf, after the update ill talk abt current events that relates to hir currently, ummm im failing 4 classes and ive officially decided on my major/career but not in my college! i have however been contemplating going to canada!!! umm im besties with my friend aki i bought her and my gf and i lethal company and thats been a recent

uhhhh RECENTS! OF TODAY/LATELY

i have been pretty like mentally exhausted and exhausted in general! im barely passing classes and the ones i am are guaranteed passing cause its music and Woodshop. Fuck woodshop hope it dies! i talked to my doctor i was on birth control for periods and she recommended i stay off until i talk to a surgeon to have SURGERY and what they decide dictates if i still should but ive been put onnnnnnnum nausea meds and migraine meds !

uhhh abt my gf stuff, specifically today

shi has been feeling weird lately and today was like that kinda breaking point, shi has someone in front that manages episodes (mania depressive ect) nd shi thinks something bad is gonna happen soon and i feel bad cause i feel like shi should be happy cause shi deserves it all! i know that doesnt just happen but shi deserves to be happy shis been thru a lot and i care about hir!!!! so i let hir know once shi was sleeping that shi can talk to me about stuff, or shi doesnt have to! cause talking to an app with a bunch of people that are unbiased and dont know you va your boyfriend biased and knows you is different! and i get how shi might want both, one or the other, or neither maybe! but i still want hir to know im there and that i care!

gf stuff, not just today

lately shis been tiring me and doing things shi wants to do and like when im not interested in things i dont wanna be mean about it just Don't wanna do it and i don't want hir to think i dont care cause i do i just don't wanna do it myself when shi could do it when its something shis talking to me about but also last time we talked about something together i said hey i need reassurance a lot and shi did it twice and hasn't done it again and i just don't like feel like that easy i need that reassurance helllooooo tumblr user ayvepeedee here !!!! and shis my safe person but its like ill always overthink that'll never change !!!!

i was in a call with my gf and aki for 500 HOURS can you believe that! it was SO DRAINING but it was really fun! it made me sad when they'd hang without me cause id be at school or i was tired but they were nice to be around! theyre my besties i love them

i.ummm have missed A Bit of school causeof my doctor stuff! and im gonna keep doing that :( like if i end up getting surgery for my tumor it'll probably be in a school day and thats likr at least a day or two or more of rest cause like my tumors in my boob and i have to be REALLY careful in that area rn and after surgery it'll be extra sensitive for a while and im kinda a rough person so ive been less rough but like ACK! IM LIKE ZONING OUT WHILE WRITING THIS IS ENOUGH BYYYEEEE!!!! :3

[vinetae]

Okay, so not long ago I've been having weird dreams and visions come true. Mainly about our seven boys. (But I also saw TXT's gfs OR they could've been a new group HYBE is gunna release), So I thought long and hard on if I should share this with everyone and I decided to, but I will leave out some details for 'personal' reasons and safety measures (just incase these do come true.) I also record my dreams and visions cause I have bad memory lol. Anything marked with an * is my own opinion and prediction. This is NOT a tarot reading, just sharing of dream interpretations.

In one of my dreams about a year ago, I saw all of the BTS members' spouses and children. So, let's go down the line, she'll we?

They had been going to jin's room/ apartment to surprise him with a birthday cake and all of the spouses and children tagged along too.

The year seemed to be between 2028-2030.

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Namjoon:

Children: pretty sure i saw a little girl. Blondish brown hair? Very small. Looked to be about 3-4 years of age.

Spouse: blonde, straight hair, blueish green eyes, *I've always gotten "lilly" vibes from him*, she looked like how you would think his spouse would be. Around 5'6? A little taller? I didn't get a good glimpse. She looked to be around 25-30?

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Seokjin: sadly, I saw no children/spouse. (Except-)

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Yoongi: I saw him with one boy and one girl. 4 and 6 maybe? The boy had black hair, and the daughter had blondish brown hair.

Spouse: blonde. Very vivid. A little past the shoulders? Pale skin and greenish eyes? I never really get a good look because its blurry, and all I see is colors. 23-25.

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Hoseok: nope. No kids either.

Spouse: I saw a blonde (dont ask what's up with all the blondes idk lmao), she for sure had green eyes and looked around 5'5? She looked very intense, but sweet at the same time. pretty sure she had on a navy blue top with black leather pants? She liked to wear white a lot lol. DON'T @ ME she looked to be 19-21.

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Jimin: in an earlier dream, I had seen him with his father going on a camping trip together, and jimin had brought his son (pretty sure he had a son out of wedlock), and jimin's dad had just said "oh wow jimin look at you with him. I guess you got all that practice with helping take care of your brother". His father actually said the child's name, but I had woken up. All I got was 'ji-' *I'm getting a feeling of ji-woo*.

(And in a different dream, he had told me his ex cheated on him back in 2018 in the LY era, and I saw how she looked. She was a model of some sort, but I will not reveal facial features because if she IS real, I don't need ya'll tormenting her with something that might not have even happened, k?)

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Taehyung: I'm pretty sure he adopted two little twin girls, they're adorable lmao.

Spouse: i- don't actually remember. Maybe she just wasn't in any of them.

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Jungkook: I didn't see any kids.

Spouse: jet black hair, ear length? I'll try to put pics up to show what they most looked like. Cherry red plumpish lips (but thin ya know?). I think I saw her driving a motorcycle. Lmao ok- sshe looked to be around 23-25.

* Current Relationship/Energies? *

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Namjoon

CR: MAYBE I never really saw anyone but I'm thinking so-

energy: Vibin.

Seokjin

energy: Just chilling. wanting to make ARMYs proud so they're working really hard.

CR: Maybe? I saw a short red-brownish hair girl-

Yoongi

Energy: Vibin along side with namjoon. two bros bro-in' it out😎

CR: no. I didn't see anything but there's always a possiblity.

Hoseok

energy: OKAY Y'ALL HOBI AIN'T AS HAPPY ALL THE TIME AS WE THINK. he's pretty chill, and is just focusing on his work rn.

CR: no? this one is hard-

Jimin

energy: this man- he needs help istg. everytime I try to get a sense of what he's feeling it's like it just blocks me off. I did sit quietly for a while tho, and asked what he was going through. I saw a bed with red lights (apparently laying down facing the celing) a bottle of some sort (either soju or wine) and a skull. yeah. uhhh ANYWAYS-

CR: nope. (recently broken up maybe? that's the vibe i get)

Taehyung

energy: Tae is doing..okay? hes defiantly reverted back to being an introvert (he posted that his MBTI changed from ENFP-T to INFP)

CR: lol no I didn't see anything.

Jungkook

jungkook is going through his rebellious stage (we all kinda figured cause of his tattoos and pericings) but other than that he seems happy ig?

CR: a lot of them are focusing on themselves but no to this lil bunnie.

Ight have fun with this information, kids.Dm if you want a pt.2

Peace 😎✌

[cloveroctobers]

•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

[headcanon-cafe]

May I request headcanons of Team Stan (plus Butters) telling the reader they had a crush on them, but had a gf at the time and didn’t wanna cheat on her, so that’s why they started ignoring/pushing the reader away. I had my friend confess that to me today and I honestly didn’t even notice he was pushing me away. Anyways, feel free to ignore this if it’s too confusing or don’t wanna do it. 💜

Of course bby💕💕 I’m so excited this is my first request!! Also that’s more excitement than I’ve had it the last year combined 😂 Idk if you returned their feeling or if you’re staying friends but whatever happens I wish you the best of luck 💕 💕

I tried my hardest! I really hope this is what you meant though.

TW: Mention of alcohol consumption in Stanley’s.

Eric Cartman

It’s not like you really cared (you did care) if he spaced himself from you or not. It’s the fact that he won’t return your text or even respond to you when you try to figure out why.

It wasn’t till you stopped bothering him about it and just looked depressed all the time did he say something to you. (Plus maybe the help of Kenny bitching at him)

He invited you to the park so he could clear things up. Nothing to strange right? Wrong, he didn’t complain or cuss once when he called you to tell you to come to the park.

You anxiousness went up ten fold.

“Listen (Y/n), I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you…” “and?” “Wtf do you mean and?? I’m apologizing for avoiding you.” “…” “and I think I like you… But listen, I might be an asshole but… but I’m loyal.”

He explains everything to you. From his feelings for you to why he’s with his present girlfriends and how he doesnt know where to go from there.

Y’all both agreed to see where things go though he doesn’t know what to do with his current relationship . He promised to stop avoiding you and you promised not to choke him out for not telling you sooner.

Kyle Broflovski

“Kyle… look I just want to talk, please?” “Just leave me alone.” “KYLE! PLEASE!”

He stops to look at you but not speaking.

Now this whole situation wouldn’t be as bad as it was if he could stop throwing a tantrum. It was honestly ridiculous.

“Kyle, why have you been avoiding me?” “It’s nothing.”

Now the thing to know about Kyle is he has a short temper. (If not obvious) So he’ll start yell. Not at you but at nothing but his feelings. He’ll explain(yell) everything to you. Maybe even start tearing up a small bit once he realizes that he basically just admitted his feeling for you when he’s already in a relationship.

You’ll do what you’ve always done when he was upset. Just stare at him cause holy hell him yelling is hot… but even if he didn’t have a girlfriend or he was dating you you’d never tell him that🥺👉👈

BUT ANYWAY the whole situation was confusing to you both. You saying that if he loves you than it should be you but if he lives his girlfriend than yeah. This can’t be in the whim feeling.

Y’all do end up fighting a lot about this situation actually, you both having feeling for each other and than everything else that’s going on.

It doesn’t last to long though, the whole him having a girlfriend problem at least. She broke up with him like 2 days later, her saying that he wasn’t invested in her at all and that he curses to much.

So it’s just a matter of when y’all will actually do something.

Kenny McCormick

It’s not like he talked to often so him being quiet for long amounts of time wasn’t out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary was him not even being in the same room as you and purposely giving excuses not to.

It honestly hurt you way more than you could ever thought. It’s not like you put to much effort in getting ahold of him. You were desperate but didn’t want to seem it. It wasnt till you sent a voicemail and you sounded like you were on the verge of tears he called you back.

Y’all talked for hours over the phone. A very emotionally draining conversation at that. But he didn’t want to cheat on his girlfriend so he started pushing you away. It was a relief it was something like this and not something you did.

Although your relationship is confusing at the moment you’ll both get through it. Apparently you’ve both liked each other for a while so now, it was only a matter of appropriate time.

Stan Marsh

You knew something was up. He’s always been Mr. Romeo when it came to girlfriends so you thought that he was probably just getting some extra brownie points with his girlfriend when he started hanging out with Wendy more than you.

Well when he noticed you stopped trying to get his attention he broke. Well he broke down telling you when you found him drunk.

Haha… well it’s not like you could do much when he’s drunk other than baby him until he’s more sober.

When he did sober up he refused to admit that he had the conversation and then after you insisted he finally actually talked to you about the whole situation.

Honestly he made it harder on him than he needed to but talking about it made him feel better and more confident about going forward.

Butters Stotch

“Ah ah ah Butters, whats going on?” “…” “Leopold Stotch talk to me!”

When you went to confront him about it, it didn’t take long for him to admit it and explain things, especially since he didn’t mean to hurt you.

Apparently Charlotte found out about his feelings for you and demanded that he stop hanging out with you, despite her being in Canada and not being able to do shit.

“M-man I’m sorry (Y/n). I-I didn’t m-mean to worry you…” “Its alright Butters. I um I have feelings for you too. But until you figure yourself out we’ll leave us as friends.”

So until he figures it out y’all are gonna try not to have to much tension (though there’s so much that even Eric is pitying you) and just continue to hang out.

[theindigomillennialchronicles]

Blog Entry 6

08/30/2021

10 days ago marked the 2 year anniversary of the death of my best friend of 11 years. She was born 03/11/1996, died 08/20/2019, right before the pandemic started rampaging. Writing that word, “died”…it’s hard. Harder to say. It’s been a rough time since then. I went into the pandemic already severely depressed, anxious and grieving for her loss. Then I got reinjured at work and fell behind on bills because my doctor didn’t properly fill out a document so my 7 months worth of worker’s compensation claims were denied. A lot has happened. I mean A LOT. I know nobody actually reads this blog. I use it more for a place to vent and make order of the emotional soup and rampaging mess that are my thoughts. I’ve spoken to 3 therapists in that time and all of them recommended I should go to a psychiatrist, that I might need to be medicated. Unfortunately all of that is expensive and I fell so far behind on my bills from the 7 months of no income that everything I started earning once I got cleared to return to work, I used to catch up as much as I could. I ended my marriage in 2019 as well. The loss of Lash (my bff) made me realize how short life is and how one day I could die, seemingly out of nowhere and have never cared about my happiness. I had to be selfish for a time, I had to choose me and in that process I realized something about myself. I’m polyamorous. Maybe I’ll get into all that in the next blog entry.

Not everything that has happened has been negative, however. After 7 year of destroying my body and mental health, I quit my federal job and decided to start over somewhere new. I’m moving to the country and am going to start my dream of building a self sufficient homestead. Getting into all those details would entitle an entirely different blog so I’ll move past that to the biggest blessing I have received. Sometime through my time being separated and decide to focus on me I met her. We met at the club, she asked me for my number, and for someone severely introverted that gets you points. Anyway I gave her my info that night and six months later, I asked her to be my girlfriend on a camping trip. Being polyamorous is weird sometimes. To experience the heartbreak of ending a marriage while experiencing he high of falling in love with someone new made me feel like I was going insane. At times guilty as if I was wrong, but after all this time to be home and do research, educate myself and speak to others like me, I learned that it was normal and it would all fall into place with time. Spoiler, it did.

Fast forward to today, I’m writing again, my mental health is still a struggle but I’ve cleared the mind space enough to remember my passions. I have project ideas and new ways to share infinite consciousness with those around me. September 1st we are leaving on our long road trip north to a new adventure, and the best part is I for once feel safe and like I’m not carrying the weight of the world and it’s responsibilities alone. She showed me a new kind of love. I’m beyond grateful to have her in my life.

So that’s what I have been up to…anyway, now that we got that over with I have some of those random thoughts to share. I started reading a revised version of the Gnostic Bible and it pushed me to these random thoughts. See, I’ve always felt this weird fear with religion. I mean apart from the trauma of growing up in a aggressively Pentecostal household, as an adult religion makes a weird dark feeling crawl up my spine. According to the Gnostics, the god of the christian bible is actually the bad son of the actual real life force energy and this planet was created out of envy and jealousy. Making it the reason why this world is so full of darkness, pain and anguish. They say we were imprisoned in this physical form by a him as a way to try and harness the energy our souls carry. The way to salvation being knowledge, not as in book smart but as in true infinite wisdom. The knowledge of ourselves, past present future all connecting us to the real creator.

I’m still working on finishing the book but just the bit I read opened up a whole new can of worms because lately I’ve been feeling off. My existential crisis has been flaring, I find myself disassociating a lot or going about my days in a fog. I hear things when nothing is there and I’ve been absorbing people’s emotions too much for my own good. I get random moments of extreme sadness on days when my morning went great. Idk how my gf deals with it but she’s been keeping me grounded. She has bpd, and adhd so she has her own battles to fight and I always help her as I should, we keep each other above water, yet I feel most days she’s better of without me, not because I’m no good but because I feel like I wont ever feel normal, like I don’t belong in this reality. There’s a darkness about this dimension. IDK wtf is going on but people are walking around empty eyed, I guess a pandemic will do that to us.

I’m not giving up, don’t worry, but I keep feeling like a huge change is coming and if I don’t do something about my noggin I’ll miss out on being a apart of the shift that is nearing. In my opinion we’ll either be the generation that changes this planets course or, we’ll let the dark forces win and cause us to be so busy fighting with one another to try and stop the train of humanity which is barreling down the tracks towards a cliff that will toss us right off the edge of existence. Millennials and GenZ are creating a lot of noise currently, I’m proud. I just wish more of us would stick to it instead of just posting when it’s viral. I’ve decided that being as my social anxiety is so bad, I’ll start working on my grain of salt by using my creative energy. I’ll try to build a platform, a stage where I can express myself and educate through the communication noise of 1s and 0s that is the internet.

I’ve been told that the best thing to do to fight low frequencies and pain is to produce alot of love energy. So I’ll start there. As always remember I am here. If you need an ear or someone to tell happy things to. Maybe that’ll help. Maybe hearing your good will help me appreciate mine more. I’ll be back tomorrow. I have a project to get started. I have dreams of an audiobook series. I decided to stop letting it stay a dream.

Much love. Day

[5sosbitchfest]

Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  

Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!

********************************

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #248

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name.”

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? I don't think I'm either, honestly. I'm realistic. How many meals do you eat a day? Since getting a calorie & macro counting app, I try to aim for three, but sometimes I only manage two. I have to be conscious of how I'm spacing out what I eat. If you could have any talent in the world what would it be? Be realistic. Draw exactly what I see in my head. Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? Bitch you better brush your goddamn tongue. I didn't know until I saw this as a survey question a while back that there were people who didn't. How many times do you brush your teeth a day honestly? Once. What are you favorite type of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore, but aesthetically, dark, skinny, torn jeans. Do you pop your bones, crack your knuckles? NO it disgusts me omg. There's this girl who sits in front of me in Women Writers class who cracks her back ALL the time and I have to fight cringing so, so hard. Do you eat your nails? YO NO. I may peel my nails when they get long (to me, anyway) but who the fuck eats their nails. Do you eat the ice in your drink? If it's that good cronchy type, fuck yeah. What do you order at Chic-Fil-A? I used to just get the classic sandwich and fries, but I stopped going there forever ago due to their connection to anti-LGBTQ organizations. By now I can't even stomach the thought of eating something from there. Damn are their sandwiches good, but I'm not giving them business. If you had to go to Mcdonalds what do you order? "Had to" lmao. I have no problem with McDonald's, honestly; you couldn't make me go, because I'd be quite willing. I love their cheeseburgers and, of course, their fries. But because I'm a fatass I have to at least get a double cheeseburger. Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? No. Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? Facebook. Are you a student? If so, what classes will you take next? Yes. "Next," I don't know, considering I haven't chosen classes for next year. Currently I take Painting, Women Writers, Psychology, and Biology. Are you a good kisser? I don't know? How many real bf/gf have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Sure, save for the one with Tyler. That was pointless as shit. Would you ever get back with your ex? Sara, if certain conditions were right. Jason, I honestly don't know and hope I'm never put into the position to need to decide. Other exes, no. Do you like 80’s music? Rock and metal, absolutely. It was a great decade for the genres. Name a comedy that you like. Rush Hour 2 popped to mind first because we mentioned it in school yesterday. Do you like homework? ??????????? WHAT IS THIS QUESTION???????????????? NO??????????????? Something you want to buy real bad? Ugggghhhhh a lot. Being unemployed is a BLAST!!!!!!!!!! Something you would buy a friend as a gift? It depends on the person, of course. I try really hard to give very personal gifts, so what it would be would greatly vary. What is something that would be a good birthday gift for you? Donate Big Bucks to my tattoo fund and I'll give you smooches. Something you would gift yourself? Still tattoos lmfao. Favorite candle scent? Cinnamon rolls mmmmmmmmm. Do you watch beauty videos on YouTube? So here's the tea I genuinely love Jeffree Star and I'm digging NikkieTutorials lately LOOK idk I guess because I find makeup to be an art, I like watching that stuff. My YouTube interests have become seriously diverse lately. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Ha ha obviously. What is the best thing about life? Man, that's a loaded question. I suppose having people in it that make it worthwhile and a true privilege to simply be here. What do you think will happen when you die? YO, HONESTLY, I don't know, man. I've even questioned reincarnation lately. I 100% believe we are not hollow bodies meant to just decay after death, but creatures with spirits that live on in SOME form or way afterwards. I don't believe in the concept of a "Hell," but I don't really think I accept there being a true "Heaven," either? I think there's just... something. What, I don't know, but guess I'll figure it out at some point. Are you superstitious? No. What kind of surveys do you like the most? Random ones, especially the ones that make you think. Do you go to church? No. Do you like Christian music? No. I get frustrated from just bad memories/associations. Have you ever skateboarded and failed at it? Never really tried. What show/concert have you went to that you didn’t like much? N/A Is sex a must in your life? Nah. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Lol I was the abstinent one years ago, so obviously I could, because I understand it. What do you think about weed? Medically, it's fantastic. Too much evidence of it being so to argue it anymore. For other use, I feel the same way about it as I do cigarettes: bad idea, but whatever. I personally don't care if it's made legal for recreational use or not, so long as it's treated similarly to alcohol, ex. illegal to drive while high. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? With it being a baby, I'd probably take it to an animal rescue or something. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? I stayed at Dad's for a handful of days. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Yes. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My sister has my initial, anyway. Who did you last see shirtless? My mom. Do you like to make the first move? NONONONONO I'M SHY. Do you think you will ever be married? Probably. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? I don't think she'd be mad, no. Do you understand football? Nope. Who last called you beautiful? Probably Mom. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? We're both female so like- Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? No. Name five things you did today? Stayed at the hospital for my beautiful niece to be born :'), slept far too little after getting home, and that's... kinda it. What kind of phone do you have? It's literally a Tracfone, BUT WAIT! I actually wanted it, ha ha. Mom has one and it is *genuinely* a good phone, so I got one for my birthday. Hell, it's cheaper than paying monthly, so I'm fine with it. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? 5 in the morning when we were all still with Ashley. Do you like fire? Sure, I like watching it. Have you ever been to a spa? Noooo, not my jam. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? No. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? Ehhhhh. When he drank, my dad was either hilarious when drunk or hateful and short-fused as fuck. 50/50 shot. But yeah, if you got Version 1, he'd crack anyone the hell up. Now that he's sober and happy he's always like that. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? Well, I'd say it depends on the picture's context. Like, a picture of you two kissing, then I'd be uncomfortable as shit. If you have prom pictures or stuff like that but don't like go looking through them regularly, idc. It was a special event. What if your partner went through your cellphone? BYE, CUNT. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? BYE, CUNT. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? YES. I can absolutely taste it. Pepsi sucks. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? Stupid and/or impulsive shit I'd said, sure, but for the most part, no. We had a good relationship. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? My mom always is if she's present. I am terrified of vomiting and even at my age still want her there, even though she can't do anything, obviously. I turn into a baby when I'm about to throw up. Background on your computer? My favorite picture of Teddy. Who has hurt you the most? Jason. Or hell, my own head, idk. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Sure. What language do you want to learn? I wanna be fluent in German. Who’s the last person that came to your house? A family friend. Is there anyone you would like to fight? God no. I'm not a fighter. Who did you dance with last? Sara. Who is your best friend(s)? Sara. Song playing? "It's A Raid" by Ozzy feat. Post Malone. The album's out T O D A Y , B O Y S. Who is your arch-enemy? I don't have one. What's the most attractive thing on the opposite sex? GODDAMN shoulderBLADES Do you want platinum or gold for your wedding band? Not normal gold, I know. Rose gold is my ideal one, but I really don't care much. Have you ever paid to have your eyebrows waxed? I mean my mom has, seeing as I didn't have an income then, either. Got that done regularly in high school. Not because I asked, but because it was just "normal" since my two sisters did it, too. Do you think that the tobacco companies should pay for people’s medical bills? No, it's not their choice to use the product. Sure, they're making it, but it's really too late to cease production of tobacco. It'd be catastrophic in terms of the job industry. Do you curse in average conversations? Yes; I have to actually make an effort to not curse if needed. Have you ever bought a shot glass? No. Do you have a therapist? Not anymore after my previous one that I loved and trusted gave me every reason to break her jaw. I kind of want another one, but also don't. I'm supposed to, considering my history and that I'm on a lot of medication, but I just do nooooot want to go through the whole trust process again. Do you ever fall for spam mail? No. What color do you wear the most? Black. Do you only eat cough drops because you like the taste? No. Have your parents ever walked in on you having sex? No. Do you like getting stoned? I've never been so and aren't interested in ever getting there. Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? YOIKES THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY lol no, I wouldn't touch coke with a ten-foot pole. Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? Pink. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. She hasn't called me anything too awful that I know of. Have you ever done acid? No. Were you at a rave? Never been, definitely not my scene. Do you post pictures where you look good but your friends look bad? Well, I don't hang out with like... anyone, so, lmao. But I wouldn't. Are you friends with any of your exes? Yes. Would you ever dye your hair pink? ACTUALLY! Pastel pink is on my list. I tested some soft colors out in Photoshop on me and it actually looked really cute. I think I wanna be a smaller size first, though. Do you ever masturbate? I haven't since I came off that godawful birth control that drove me batshit insane in terms of libido. I still don't think it's a bad thing, my interest in that is just, gone. Are you embarrassed about your sex life or lack there of? No. Who’s the last person you said I love you to? My sister. Did you like your life when you were in middle school? Actually fuck middle school with a maul. If you went on American Idol, do you think you’d go through to Hollywood? Nope. Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No, I don't think so. What kind of laugh do you have? A loud and obnoxious one. Do you hoard anything? "Hoard" isn't the right word, no. Are you afraid of flying? I am, but I feel it's only a realistic apprehension. Especially going back and forth to Sara's a few times, you kinda have to get used to it. Most recent Facebook ‘like’? Shit man idk, I "like" a load of stuff. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. Do you do anything regularly that could damage your body? Can someone please eliminate soda from the face of the earth???? What do you love most in the world? Those closest to me. What woke you up this morning? Ugh, the sun. I need to put my curtain back up after Roman tore it down. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? My mom. Is anything bothering you? There's always *something* bothering me to some degree, but nothing seriously at the moment. Are you in a good mood? My niece was born overnight and is gorgeous and healthy so I have to be. :') When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you own more than one cell phone? Ha ha, I have two old ones. One I used for pictures because the camera was good, and the most recent old one, I just need to get some pictures and contacts from... but I'm lazy. Have you ever had a song written about you? No. What songs make you happy? Depends on what I'm feeling. Next concert? No clue now that Ozzy had to cancel his, bless his old heart. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? Yes. When was the last time you fought with your significant other, if any? I’m single. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No, thankfully. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Not since I went fishing with my old best friend a few years back. We were just in a pond. Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? Probably not. Do you like cereal? What would you consider your favorite kind of cereal? Hell yeah. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is *maybe* my favorite? Idk, I like a lot. Are there any people you don’t like for your significant other/crush to talk to? This doesn't apply to me, but even if I had one, they're not my damn child. I'm not gonna police whom they talk to. I mean I guess there are exceptions, like, talking to a drug dealer to name one, but talking to most people, that's their business. Just don't hide it from me. Have you ever forgotten your birthday? Did you soon figure it out? No. What color are the curtains in your room if you have any at the moment? Maroon. Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? No. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Well, calling back to that other question, there was one in a previous relationship that I really couldn't stand, but it wound up working out. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? It's just me and Ma now. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!! Omg did I love BB. Went like every weekend to rent a game, and sometimes we'd go there Fridays before a sleepover to grab a movie. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? Sure, sometimes.

[violetwolfraven]

The Misfits Series Major Character Summaries

(Writing this cause this series needs a real fandom so please read it people I need more content. First and only book out so far is Taken by Eva Nguyen which can be found on Amazon. This post contains a few spoilers.)

Ginger Stevenson:

The girl who grew up too fast.

Probably bi tbh.

Red hair, brown eyes, freckles, 16.

Dad is a cop and she should really follow in his footsteps ya know if she survives being abducted by aliens.

A little bit messed up from her home situation. (No spoilers.)

Loves big bro and little sis So Much.

Would cry in a sad movie.

Drinks coffee when she’s not supposed to.

Chosen family AND blood family.

Does not like admitting she has a crush.

Natural leader.

Matthew (Matt) Ching:

The boy who never gives up hope.

This boy is way to chaotic to be straight even if he currently likes a girl.

Black hair, brown eyes, Asian, 16.

Was raised by Mom cause Dad is dead.

Should probably design video games. That sounds like something he’d enjoy.

Did not take anything seriously ever before alien abduction.

Only child but adopts friends as siblings instead.

Would cry more than his gf in a sad movie.

Either likes black coffee or Unicorn Frappuccinos.

Chosen family all the way!!!

Has probably accepted his crush as a fact of life.

Soft boi hacker.

Christina (Cris) Hoang:

The girl who wants to protect.

Tbh I have no idea about her sexuality.

Brown hair, brown eyes, probs like half Asian, 17.

Doesn’t sing but won’t tell you why.

Should probably be a vigilante. She’s angry and protective it would work.

Carries a knife and duct tape everywhere so probs a bit paranoid.

Don’t remember if she has siblings tbh.

Probably wouldn’t cry until she was alone.

Seems like a mocha girl.

Idk but mostly chosen family I think.

Doesn’t have sexual tension with sparring partner what are you talking about.

Angry big sister friend.

Robert (Bobby) O’Connor:

The boy who everyone trusts.

Idk but if anyone’s straight it’s him.

Brown hair, green eyes, no clue about ethnicity, 18.

Likes weapons and knows like everything about them.

Should be a soldier cause weapons and the greater good.

More focused on what other people are feeling than himself.

Adopts all his friends.

Would cry in a sad movie but try to hide it.

Probably drinks Red Bull.

Chosen family.

Doesn’t have sexual tension with sparring partner what are you talking about.

Fun big brother friend.

Ashley Delon:

The girl who is probably hiding her anger.

Almost definitely bi.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, last name is French, 14.

Really quiet but constantly writing songs in her head.

Should be a singer for obvious reasons.

Stronger than she looks so maybe hiding something that made her that strong?

Has a brother but mentions him Once.

Would not cry in a sad movie.

Probably gets hot chocolate the tells people it’s coffee.

Probably chosen family.

Fell for a boy who spent a week trying to save her life but also seemed to have a crush on her (girl) bestie before that.

Quiet powerhouse.

William (Will) López:

The boy who never gives up.

Actually is probably straight.

Black hair, brown eyes, Hispanic, 15.

Played soccer before *gestures* this mess.

Should be a doctor because he is a soft boi who likes helping people.

A little bit shy. Was probably bullied.

Has a sister who was mentioned once.

Might cry but it depends on the movie.

Probably only drinks coffee with a shit ton of sweetener.

Idk seems to have a good relationship with blood family so maybe both?

Fell for a girl after they talked for a while cause they were both a little traumatized.

Loyal and patient one.

Quinn Kalua:

The friend you go to for a hug.

Maybe ace? Idk he doesn’t talk much.

Black hair, brown eyes, Pacific Islander, 16.

Doesn’t talk about his backstory. Doesn’t talk really at all.

Should be an animal researcher. You’ll get why if you read the book.

Doesn’t talk and something obviously happened to cause that.

???

I can’t see him like crying ever tbh.

Probably likes Starbucks drinks.

Seems like chosen family.

Doesn’t have a love interest.

The silent one.

Felicity Asfour:

The girl with trust issues.

No idea but doesn’t like guys much at the moment.

Black hair, green eyes, Middle-Eastern, 16.

Biology nerd who can recognize a heartbeat anywhere.

Should be a doctor because she always does her best to heal others in the book.

Has Issues. Had a bad relationship. Has home problems. Girl is a mess.

Has a twin brother but only family member she has a good relationship with is her little sister.

Would cry but angrily tell people to stop looking at her in a sad movie.

Probably loves the smell of coffee.

CHOSEN FAMILY.

Still recovering from bad relationship so no love interest.

The sassy healer.

Samuel (Sam) Hayes:

The boy who jokes about everything.

Very chaotic. Seems unlikely to be straight.

Black hair, brown eyes, African-American, 16.

Builds robots with varying degrees of success.

Should be an engineer so he can build robots and change the world.

Has been bullied. Not too trusting and clearly hides behind humor.

I don’t remember if he has siblings tbh.

Would cry shamelessly in a sad movie.

Has probably brewed coffee with Red Bull instead of water.

Chosen family I think.

Love interest betrays him so...

The funny one.

Zoe Locklear:

The innocent girl who deserved better.

Maybe straight maybe had a crush on bestie so idk.

Black hair, brown eyes, Native-American, 13.

Biggest heart EVER. Tries to make light of bad situations.

Should be a high school teacher because she is 13 and is successfully wrangling 10 teenagers.

Is probably bullied for her naivety. Innocent but seems sad.

Doesn’t really mention family.

Would definitely cry in a sad movie.

Would drink hot chocolate and admit it’s hot chocolate.

Never got a chance to pick between chosen vs blood.

Again might have a crush on (girl) bestie but idk.

Pure angel, too good for this world.

Macy Albrite:

The girl who lied about everything.

Seems straight but who knows.

Black hair, blue eyes, maybe Caucasian, 16.

Was a manipulative bitch before and still is though she is now hiding it.

Should go die. You’ll see why if you read Taken.

Bullied others and still does.

Who knows and who cares about her family?

Would laugh at other people crying in a sad movie.

Coffee as bitter and black as her soul.

Chosen family but doesn’t deserve them.

Betrays the one she claims to love.

Satan incarnate.

[hp42000]

I feel like i need to share?

hey, sorry for this, this is very personnal and i know it might be the right place to do that but i want to get everything out. so sorry for the long post, my english, and the mess that is this story, it’s kinda hard to tell everyting important at once so sorry and if you have the courage to read all, thank you 

So to give context and to finally get everything out let's start from the begging i'm sorry if it's a mess there's a lot to talk about, so i'm the 3rd and last child of my familly, got two brothers (K and D). my parents came from broken familly, (you'll get why i explain that later) so my mother was beaten by hers and her father ignored it, my father was taken away from his alcoolic parents into an orphanage, then was unofficially adopted by a nurse that gave him a distant education. They met, got a child, D, all was going well, got a second one, K, things started to go wrong, unnable to have "control" over two kids my mother started beating them, my father working and not very close to his children didn't know about it. D took a lot more than K cause he was the most "curious" trying things then getting "scolded", K was emotionally abused, both got scars to this day, bad scars. then here i come the “almost abort but nah it's a girl", my brothers took care of me since day one they knew what it was to live in this familly, so my first memories are with them, teaching me everything like biking or to not do shit so i won't live what they had to go trough. it was so normal for me, i did not notice that soon only my brothers would take care of me, but let's not forget they were just kids only 7 an 9 years older than me. so when they couldn't be with me i was alone listening to the story cds my parents bought to save time on bedtime story. then i created a bubble from these stories, my familly loved me and everyting's normal, mother beating D? don't pay attention it's normal he must've done something he shouldn't. things were "good" for a while then one day i was 6, friends of my mother at my house, they had a kid who was 11, A, A was kinda troublesome he had innapropriate attitude with girls at school, but why should this worry his mother or mine if we play together? alone in my room? this day he touched me sexually, i didn't realize then and fuck i regret not punching his face. so i blocked it in my head (we'll go back to that later). so i keep growing up, at 8 i start to realise that what my mother does is wrong, that my father not knowing his children is wrong, so i try those 8 years old method to, first, get myself "safe" and maybe, when i could, speak up, i start to get out of my bubble, to look for a way to stop it all. one of them was to tell them i found a poster with the number of an organization who protect kid, i was sooo dumb, got the response "like i did anything wrong to you" from both parents, still they were "cautious"? idk why i like to think i scared them but we all know i didn't ^^ fast forward a little to when i got 11, damn from this things escalated quickly! D was kicked out of the house, K exploded when my father and mother joined their forces to destroy him mentally, he snapped and hit my mother on the shoulder. in the same time my parent divorced, i followed my mother who was all affective before we left to get me to "prefer" her. and shit started for real. 2012 first year of hell; my mother started taking antidepressant, and got more and more scary, having moodswings, insulting me, threatning me, then going back crying, apologizing, yes i bought it FOR A LONG WHILE. till things started to get bad at school too, got sexualy assaulted again by a classmate, didn't tell anything to anyone because i was disguted by myself not being able to defend myself, every morning looking in the mirror wanting to break it, to break me, getting to school, seeing him telling me "we should do it again", getting home taking whatever my mother would throw at me that she "shouldn't have chosen to have kids", cry a bit, sleep rinse and repeat. it was like that for a year then i got bullied at school lost my "friends" then we moved, different school, new life and yes, it was now that i look at it, it was. but my mother she never stopped, got back with my father a while and conviced (was not hard tho) to take his side, so got both on me for a while, these times i spent a lot of time with D, we got even closer it was so great we just had to look at each other to know what the other was thinking. but we had a arguement that led him to take everyting i told him against me, he blasted me to the ground cause i trusted him. that's the turning point to were i am now i think, every time i got home, when i was alone i had incontrolable burst of anger and felt like i had to hit something, got myself a punching ball and started beating the shit out of it bare hands, till i looked at my hands and saw them red and x2 their original size, what happened at this moment was one thing that terrified me a bit, i looked at my hand crying, laughing thinking "damn now you lost your mind", from this point i changed my way to view my life i started to think "why did my parents gave birth to me? why did they reproduced to fucking destroy their childrens? how can i go back?" i didn't think about dying at first, just i regreted to be born, because now that i was i lived, there was still good things. but things that i wouln't have experienced if i did not exist, the "nothingness" appealled me and i got stuck like this for a while. next come high school, my mother got with someone and wanted to live with them but to month later we left this alcoolic man and his house, homeless for a while i go to my grandmother's (side of my father)  then choose to try to live with him, at this time i had two dogs (the nice thing in my familly is that we could have dogs! and i don't know what i'd do without them!) so one gave birth to 4 or 5 puppies and i sold them and got some money. so, i go live with my father who just moved with his new gf, i had high hope, in the 4 first month he borrowed me 1700$ to seem like a prince to his belle, was all nice to get it but then started to say the same things as my mother, i started to smoke and skip school to get some pressure i fest off i guess, this year i met incredible friends who helped me a lot but at the end of 1st year of highschool i got back with my mother who acted like she changed. i met my current girlfriend, the person that keep me alive till this day because the best is yet to come, so month after month i see she has not changed; she got crazy due to her medecine even worse then before, and i start to give up on highschool a little more every day, thanks to my gf L, i keep it together, kinda. then my mother starts to see her friend from when i was six and i realise what happenned there so i tell my mother, i got absolutly no reaction except "my uncle did it to me" she didn't ask me if i was fine or shit so one month later my mother's friend call her; her fucking son is banned from the region they live in for playing "jizzcuit" replacing the biscuit by A FUCKING CHILD, so my mother goes "oh i have a room he can live with me" this lasted 6 month i saw his face every day acting like nothing happenned and to this day even thought i tried my mother still don't get what's wrong. fast forward a little crying and shit and comes the final exam of my high school, since i skipped a lot and slept at classes due to my insomnia, i cried a lot wondering what i was going to do, then i got the most stupid idea, i just didn't try, i thougt that after it i'd be able to leave this place and start again. So i failed my exams then left again to my father's camping car this time (would be crazy to let me live in his house but i'm fine) it was supposed to be 3 month, the time to work and get enough money to live by myself, or i thought, i got fired at the end of my two month trial. reinforcing the idea that i fucking shit and right now even tho i have L, my friends, i'm tired of fighting, the frequancy of thought about suicide grow, and i think i need help, anything, if some of you guys have tips on idk how to be productive, how to live, i'll gladly accept anything. once again i'm really sorry, it's messy and it's not fun to read but i wanted to share... thank you for your time

[nostalgiaispeace]

2261.

where was your last kiss? my living room

have you ever had that person hold you? Yes.

when was your last piercing? oh gosh like ages ago.

Last kiss, when was it? today

Do you ever look at yourself and get angry? all the time.

are you hiding something from the one you love? no

can you tell the difference between coke and pepsi? yes

do you prefer weed or cig? cigs  but i quit

what do your parents say about smoking? my mom’s not a fan

do like kissing with tongue or without? without

what’s your favorite body spray? britney spears

clear lip gloss or tinted? -

what show is hilarious to you? schitt’s creek

what’s the worst thing about sex? well it’s just painful now after having my daugher.

have you ever thought you were pregnant? yes

when you were young did the word sex bother you? not that i remember

what did your first crush look like? I dont even remember lol

is your body more curvy or flat? curvy

current mood? fine just tired

what kind of girls piss you off? needy kind

is ice cream in winter weird to eat? no

what’s your least favorite holiday? Valentine’s day

if you’re having a boring day what do you usually do? read

do you turn to food when your upset? yes

is your bf/gf good with your parents? yes

does chewing with someone’s mouth open make your angry? def grosses me out

what’s something you hate about people? they’re annoying

are you jealous of other girls? No.

who last made you upset? my husband i’m sure

does he/she usually upset you? yes lol

who’s more strict mom or dad? My mom what feature do you find pretty about yourself? lol nothing

I hate stuck up girls, do you? yes

do any of your friends have a nasty ego? I don’t have any friends

which smile face do you prefer? :)

does playboy make you sick? yes

would you ever kiss a girl? i have

what about date, would you date a girl? no i’m married

are blondes that hot? Sure

can you remember your 4th grade teacher? Yes

what grade are you currently in? -

what do you usually buy/pack for lunch? sandwhich

do you think soda should be served at school? no

why do you think farting is so gross to guys? I don’t think it really is

is burping gross? no

do you stink right now? probably

ever watched YouTube makeup tutorials? Yeah.

are butterflies the cutest bug? no

what tattoo would you get if you HAD to get one now? portrait of marilyn

are snakebites sexy? or over talked about? I like them

last thing you drank? diet dr pepper

Favorite kind of gum? peppermint

last song you heard? Idk

what are some of the lyrics? –

do you like M&M or Lil Wayne more? eminem lol

what do you think of hilter? Um..absolutely loved him...lmao what do you think i think about hitler?

do dogs have feelings? They absolutely do.

are you afraid of snakes? yes

favorite snack? veggie straws

is Kool-Aid beautiful to you? no

can you remember the last time you cried? no

cocoa or coffee? Coffee, always.

7 forever or 51 forever? 51 forever.

ever seen the notebook? yes

“The Hills” do you think there acting or its real drama? acting

ever got in a fist fight? Nope.

ever get a boob job? No.

what’s your biggest flaw? I’m judgemental

i hate when people say “i luv u” or “ily” do you? Not a fan either, personally.

do you think cussing is trashy? no

all time favorite band? bring me the horizon

thongs are butt dental floss. agreed

rather have your guy wear tightie whities or thong? lmao

your thoughts on speedo’s, i think it should be speed-NO’s! agreed

do you think chest hair is hot? (ew) yaeh

what about nipple hair (lol)? sure omg what would you do if your bestfriend had nipple hair, would u tell her? idk if i’d be look at her nipples

are popping zits fun? no

is acne gross to you? Yes,

can you count to 7,800,900,1. backwards? no

anything bugging you? yes

do you enjoy sneezing? No.

do you feel bad for bugs? always being killed cause they look weird:( No

zebra print, do you like it? no

belly ring or lip? lip

do you like septums? yeah

what would your parents do if you got a tattoo? nothing

what about getting pregnant? well they love and spoil my daughter so lol

are you on birth control? yes

[icouldbeyourcwn]

Midnight+ Thoughts: Part One(?)

This is literally random things I feel like typing. This is another way to learn about my personality and who I am.

I apologize to anyone who actually reads this.

You know I think in a way, my sister and I matured and grew up so much quicker than others. Because we didn't have the most stable childhood. I think because of this, my sister and I learned things and valued what should be valued.

Honestly think I went through my rebel/sad stage starting from 4th grade ending somewhere in the first bit of 6th grade.

People don't understand that they're pessimistic because they refuse to notice good things. They pay attention to the horrible things. Spoiler alert. I've been emotionally abused and haven't had the best childhood?? Spoiler alert #2. I'm one of the happiest people ever??? wHAT

I haven't owned a cat in four years. Last cat I saw was my friends cats. Which was about a year ago. I miss cats..

Some group of guys were pushing eachother and messing around. One of them was pushed onto me as I leaned down to access my locker. I almost apologized to them. I almost actually apologized I--

One thing: I was told by my choir teacher to get more sleep because of the festival thing tomorrow. I don't think I listened. If I did, I would've gone to sleep about four hours ago.

I can't believe people some times. Like not even in shows but in real life drama shite. Two groups and/or people get into a fight. Each having different opinions. People watching decide which one is right and which is wrong. What I don't think they understand. Is that fact that there is NO right or wrong. Just two different opinions. If they would discuss it and hear eachother out instead of jumping to conclusions. They'd both realize they're not as evil as they seem.

I appreciate getting noticed and completely ignored. Not because I'm an attention seeker, but because I was never given enough recognition in my past. I've always been that one barely noticeable person. When I talk while with a group of people, they don't notice, or give me any recognition. So I usually keep all the small things to myself and roll around in my thoughts. Alone. But I always feel happy when I'm appreciated and noticed. I love knowing that people recognize I'm there.

I don't know how to communicate, or at least start communication, with other flesh bags. Because I wasn't shown how by my parents. My mom sucks at communicating properly with others, and my dad was never able to communicate with his ex-gf(Tiffany) before she left. Which was two years before we lost the house and I moved in with my mom. But I was never shown how to talk to others so. I learn over time and mostly suck at it... Especially when I try too hard >.> cause then I'm just awkward.

Have you ever felt tempted to put to the test if you bought a bunch of fish. Put them in a small tank or something. Then kill them all, and see how many float and how many sink after their doom? No? Just me? Kay-

I just remembered how I get apple cider and donuts tomorrow morning in GSA. AND that time in GSA makes up for me leaving early and being unable to talk with my girlfriend for 3-4 extra minutes giving her a hug and leaving for my bus. Because we go to GSA together.

You know what I love? Hugs-- and food, friends, art, books, writing, nature, animals, GOD the list goes on. But I meant to talk about hugs. I like hugging my friends because, and not to sound weird, but a familiar smell is comforting and hugging my friends is so warm and in a way fluffy and I love it!

I'm on 13? God do I feel bad for anyone who decides to read this. Sorry, I literally have no friends to talk to at this time, spoiler alert. It's 01:09.

I called my dad and his current girlfriend(Kris) children on accident once. I ofc explained that I call everyone a child at least once. But I just started realizing that, it could've been taken slightly offensively, even though it obviously wasnt, but. They could've easily at least felt a little bad about it. Because, I'm supposed to be his daughter, and. I had just bought them syrup they didn't have money for, along with candy for mainly my sister and I, but also for them. So I legitimately could've been super rude if I wasn't so nice about things lmaoz

My muscles are tired and I forgot to eat dinner.

Y'know, Tiffany(dad ex-gf, the aboosive one) didn't treat me right during the time she lived with us. Not only because she was abusive, maybe she didn't realize she was abusive and maybe she did, who cates? But it was also because she probably didn't know how to recognize signs of ADHD. So the things I messed up on, because of my severe ADHD. She just blamed it on my person. owo

I remember. We had 6 cats when Tiffany lived with us. Two were hers the other 4 were ours before she lived with us. When she left. Hear this. When she left, she took all the cats except for two. One of the ones she left. Were one of the cats SHE owned. The other cat she left, was everyone's least favorite-- Except for me. That cat was my favorite. The cat literally hated everyone, but she loved me, in her own special way, and only just barely tolerated my dad.

About my favorite cat!! Laney/Lainey. I'm using Laney just because idk which one. There was this one time that she disappeared for a few days(?). I had thought she somehow escaped and ran away. So while I was sobbing my darn eyes out over losing my favorite cat, my dad and sister were searching every corner of the house to find her. My dad found Laney-- In my damn closet!! And he brought her to me, and put her on my lap, and I started crying MORE LMAO. But it was happy tears this time.

I think my not having glasses for months when I 100% need glasses. Has caused my eyes to get at least 10% worse. Because each day my vision gets worse. I will be blessed the day we finally go and get everyone's eyes checked. Which my mom says will be soon, but shes not great at keeping her word lol.

I told myself I'd stop at 20 so- I'll probably save part 2 for tomorrow night. Maybe I should start doing this daily. People will probably not read them but it was fun af. This shall become a series-- but how tf will I keep track of them- anyway goodbye. Its 1:26 but I'll probably go to sleep in about 35 minutes.

Ps. That probably for some reason auto corrected to "porn sky"

Goodbye!

[acecavenger]

Hi :3 Don't think I've picked on you yet, or at least not recently. Let's fix that >:3 Questions 1-150

Aerllette you monster

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? @cenizacaer (dont tell her gf)2. Are you outgoing or shy? depends on the situation, but mostly shy3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My friends, again. But if i do go to RTX London then my friends in the EU!!!4. Are you easy to get along with? I guess so5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Ceni and @gh0stmach1ne helped me when i got drunk on the 4th...6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Honestly red heads 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Dunno8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? my female friends?9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? A little yea...10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Ceni11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? my mom asking if i want lunch or not 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Peace Sign, Armed and Ready, I May Fall remix, Deadend in Tokyo, Somebody to Love13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? YES14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? eh15. What good thing happened this summer? RTX201716. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Sure17. Do you think there is life on other planets? probably18. Do you still talk to your first crush? nope19. Do you like bubble baths? havent had one in YEARS20. Do you like your neighbors? nope21. What are you bad habits? stay up late and sleeping til 3pm22. Where would you like to travel? BACK TO AUSTIN 23. Do you have trust issues? kinda24. Favorite part of your daily routine? going back to sleep25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my chest/torso 26. What do you do when you wake up? do back to sleep27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? i jsut wish i wasnt so fucking pale28. Who are you most comfortable around? my friends29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? no30. Do you ever want to get married? im not i not position to answer that rn31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? ive tried32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? uhh gal gadot and scarjo33. Spell your name with your chin. Z,mdsx34. Do you play sports? What sports? i swam(i know the irony)35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV, i need music36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yep37. What do you say during awkward silences? “SOOOOOO how bout that sports team?”38. Describe your dream girl/guy? someone i can see a future with would would also like to cosplays otps at cons with 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Best Buy40. What do you want to do after high school? forget about highschool41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? sure42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im thinking of what to say 43. Do you smile at strangers? from time to time 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? SPAAAAACE45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? food 46. What are you paranoid about? my future47. Have you ever been high? nope48. Have you ever been drunk? oh yeah49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not  really 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black51. Ever wished you were someone else? occasionally 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? i wish i was just a bit more motivated to do things 53. Favourite makeup brand? dont wear any54. Favourite store? Amazon55. Favourite blog? mine :P56. Favourite colour? blue 57. Favourite food? shrimp58. Last thing you ate? a sandwich59. First thing you ate this morning? ..a sandwich 60. Ever won a competition? For what? uh, swimming 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? ...fighting...62. Been arrested? For what? nope63. Ever been in love? yep64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? welp, we were interrupted by a homeless man asking change for the bus...65. Are you hungry right now? nope66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? yes67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now? kinda70. Names of your bestfriends? sami, keira, sakura, kelso, kit, 71. Craving something? What? LIBERATION 72. What colour are your towels? blue 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? two73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? the one yang plush75. Favourite animal? shark76. What colour is your underwear? red77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? mint chocolate chip79. What colour shirt are you wearing? navy blue 80. What colour pants? black81. Favourite tv show? mythbusters 82. Favourite movie? guardians of the galaxy vol 283. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? neither 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? jump street85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? never saw it86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? nemo87. First person you talked to today? mom88. Last person you talked to today? mom89. Name a person you hate? Isaac 90. Name a person you love? Sami91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? yes92. In a fight with someone? yes93. How many sweatpants do you have? 394. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 4-595. Last movie you watched? Wonder Woamn96. Favourite actress? Gal Gadot 97. Favourite actor? Chris Prat 98. Do you tan a lot? no99. Have any pets? yes 100. How are you feeling? exhausted 101. Do you type fast? nope102. Do you regret anything from your past? yes 103. Can you spell well? noep104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? once 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? i hope not107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes108. What should you be doing? showering 109. Is something irritating you right now? yes 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yea111. Do you have trust issues? kinda 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? ... my friends bc im not gonna see most of them for awhile 113. What was your childhood nickname? my uncle called me Ally Cat, idk why114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes115. Do you play the Wii? not anymore 116. Are you listening to music right now? nope117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes118. Do you like Chinese food? yes 119. Favourite book? Son of Neptune120. Are you afraid of the dark? a little121. Are you mean? i try not to be 122. Is cheating ever okay? never 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no124. Do you believe in love at first sight? maybe, ive never experienced it..125. Do you believe in true love? maybe126. Are you currently bored? yes127. What makes you happy? anime128. Would you change your name? maybe129. What your zodiac sign? aquarius 130. Do you like subway? ye131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell them i acknowledge their feels, but dont want to ruin the friendship that we have if something go wrong if we date 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? didnt i answer this?133. Favourite lyrics right now? “OUT OF MY WAY CAUSE IM ARMED AND REAAAAADY”134. Can you count to one million? nah135. Dumbest lie you ever told? “its for a friend”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed137. How tall are you? 6′3″138. Curly or Straight hair? uh139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde(bc yang)140. Summer or Winter? winter141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? July bc RTX143. Are you a vegetarian? nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? dark145. Tea or Coffee? neither 146. Was today a good day? its ok 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? “Keep Moving Forward”149. Do you believe in ghosts? kinda 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “PLUS........ULTRAAAAAAA”

[tiredcommunisstt]

1. Whats the real reason i’m confused right now? 

uhm theres a lot of things that are confusing me like basically what the fuck is going on with my life and why i can’t leave or lose feelings for my abuser who just so happens to be my boyfriend.

2. Do i ever get good morning texts?

lol no

3. If your significant other smoked pot would you care?

it'd honestly be preferable 

4. Do you find it easy to trust others?

absolutely. until they give me reasonable cause not to, in that case, i may never trust them again. 

5. what were you doing at 11pm last night?

falling asleep w my headphones in

6. You're drunk and lost walking down a road, who is with you?

probably @shez-a-goner

7. What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

welp. funny you should ask. theres not much you can do except exist in a permanently soul-shattered state. 

8. are you close with your dad?

no. i don’t know my real dad whatsoever and my adoptive dad and me never talk.

9. I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

yes

10. What are you listening to?

currently, the sound of alex flushing the toilet.

11. You can only drink one liquid for the rest of your life- what is it?

Uhm? what the fuck else would it be? water obviously

12. do you like hickeys?

the idea, yes. i don't like getting them, they kinda hurt.

13. what time do you go to bed?

mainly before midnight. like around 11 ish.

14. is there someone who constantly lets you down?

yes

15. can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

no

16. do you always answer texts?

no

17. Do the hate the person you fell the hardest for? 

its complicated

18. when was the last time you talked to your best friends?

last night

19. is there someone that make you happy everytime you see them? 

yes @shez-a-goner

20. what was the last thought you had before you went to bed last night?

i fucking love xanax

21. is anyone else in the room with you?

my boyfriend

22. do you believe what goes around comes around?

yeah

23. where you happier four months ago than you are now?

nah it was winter dude. i don't fucks with winter.

24. is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

no

25. in the past week have you cried?

yeah

26. what color is the shirt you're wearing?

blue

27. do people ever call you by your last name?

no and they better not i hate that shit.

28. is anyone ignoring you right now?

probably god.

29. do you have a best friend?

yes

30. would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

yes. I've imagined him kissing her a billion trillion times in my head though so its whatever.

31. who was your last call from?

my probation officer

32. are you mad at anyone?

always and forever

33. have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeah

34. how old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

21 

35. how many more days till your birthday? idk. its on october 29th.

36. do you have summer plans yet?

no

37. do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

yeah

38. are you keeping anything from your best friend now?

no

39. do you have a secret you've never told anyone?

yeah

40. have you ever regretted kissing someone?

yeah

41. do you think age matters in relationships? 

yes and no, if its some predator shit then yes. if you're both other than like 20 and you have a few years between you it doesn't matter at all.

42. are you available?

for what

43. how many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? 

one

44. if you had to get a piercing(not ears) what would you get?

nose or belly button

45. do you believe exes can be friends?

depends

46. do you regret anything?

of course. 

47. honestly whats on your mind right now?

everything. I'm overwhelmed with my life right now and i wish i could just run away.

48. did you ever lose a best friend?

yeah

49. was your last kiss a mistake?

not really.

50. why arent you pursuing the person you like?

they're taken 

51. has the person you last kissed ever seen you cry? 

considering the fact that they're primarily the reason i cry, yes

52. do you still talk to the person you last kissed?

duh, i live with them

54. what was the last thing you ate?

the CARS movie shaped mac and cheese

55. where are you going on your next vacation?

hell.

56. do you own anything from other countries?

most likely.

57. are most of your friends girls or guys?

girls

58. where have you lived most of your life?

the state of despair.hahahah uh, michigan

59. when was the last time you took a long drive?

considering the fact that alex fucking just randomly drives around forever and ever, probs recently. 

60. have you ever played spin the bottle?

yeah. at a bonfire and in ninth grade at the end of the year school picnic.

61. have you ever TP’d someones house?

uhm no but i had this huge crush on a girl when i was like 13. and my friends preston, cara, and i snuck out of their house at night and walked over to her house and poured cans of peaches and cream of mushroom soup all over her parents cars because she didn't like me back. #wild

62. who do you text the most?

alex and vickii

63. what was the last movie you saw?

bad santa 2

64. whats preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

HAAAAA. the fact that he cheated on her(with me....even though technically me and him were dating first) AND SHE HATES HIS FUCKING gUts. he broke her fuckin heart i highly doubt she ever wants to see his faggot face ever again.

65. how many bf/gfs did you have in 2010?

none lmao i was like 12.

66. is the last person you kissed younger than you?

HE ACTS IT. (but no)

67. do you curse around your parents?

fuck no.

68. are you happy with where you live?

no

69. pic of myself? 

no

70. are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open ended relationships?

hum if we're fucking dating i better be the only fucking one bitch

71, have you ever been dumped?

no

72. what do you like the most about making out?

I've never really....made out.. with someone. to me its more intimate than like sex itself. and I'm really uncomfortable. i don't know how to kiss. if i ever make out with someone ill probably have to ask them to marry me because to me thats a Big Deal. 

73. have you ever casually made out with someone?

no bitch

74. when you kiss someone for the first time is it you who initiates it?

id rather die than make the first move

75. what part of a person body do you find the most attractive?

eyes. but i also like the underside of peoples wrists,,,like where their veins are. 

76. who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed?

alex

77. had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? 

yes. for drugs lol.

78. had sex with someone you didn't know their name?

uhm at the time i knew his name but I've forgotten it so when i go through my body count i just refer to him as john 

79. what makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

i once had a big ass crush on this girl i used to work with at kroger and i always wanted to be her bagger cuz everything she did had me like motherfucking heart eyes lmao. 

80. would you get involved w someone who had a child already?

thats a question i do not know the answer to.

81. has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

no one has ever had a crush on me.

82. do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

literally like everyone EXCEPT for that person. when i have a crush on someone I'm like completely obsessed and wanna shout it from the mountains.

83. do you miss your last sweetie?

i miss Kroger cashier girl lol kinda i haven't had too many crushes. also this girl i was crushing on, but she like low-key doesn't like me and had a girlfriend the whole time lol

84. last time you slow danced with someone? 

probs prom 2015

85. have you ever dated someone you've never met?

no. thats fuckin Stupit

86. how can i win your heart?

uhmmmmmmmmm idk. i fall in love with people who make me laugh and people who are completely unavailable. so just make sure theres absolutely no way for us to ever come together and ill probably get down on one knee for the fuck of it. i love a good never-ending chase.

87. whats your sign?

S C O R P I O. and yes. i love being a scorpio. 

88. What were you doing last night at 12 am?

sleeping. 

89. do you cook?

not to brag but fuck yeah. i ran the kitchen at a small family restaurant called the yum yum tree. one thing I'm definitely great at.

90. have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than three months of no communication?

no

91. if you're single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

switch that question around and it would be a yes. 

92. do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

i want the real deal and nothing less. i don't like to play around with peoples feelings. 

93. what physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

idk. i don't have a type. if all the things you have on your body come together in a cute way, you're cute, and i think you're cute, and thats that 

94. name four things you wish you had:

love

stability

happiness

my dream body

95. are you a player? 

no

96. have you ever kissed two people in one day?

yes

97. are you a tease?

yeah. i like to send nudes and shit to guys and then never respond to them after they compliment me:)

98. ever meet anyone you met on tumblr?

no

99. have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

i don't know. at this point in my life i don't think i really grasp what love is. its always me having strong feelings for someone and never having it returned....isnt that just infatuation?

100. anyone on tumblr you'd go on a date with?

theres like a billion people on this site I'm sure theres someone id go on a date with

101. hugs or kisses.

depends

102. are you too shy to ask someone out?

id rather die than ask someone out

103. the first thing i notice about the opposite sex?

probably their hair, facial features

104. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

yeah

105. if a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew she/he was in a relationship, would you go for it?

fuck off. 

106. do you flirt a lot?

like never

107. your last kiss?

like twenty mins ago

108. have you kissed more than five people since the start of 2011?

maybe close but maybe not. idk

109. have you kissed anyone in the past month?

uh yeah. whats with the intense interest in kissing?

110. if you could kiss anyone who would it be?

a girl

111. do you know who you'll kiss next? 

i have an idea..

112. does someone like you currently.

well I'm in a relationship buttttttt i....doubt....it

113. do you currently have feelings for someone?

yes

[bioniiic]

all of the asks

1: Full nameidk man. not too fond w putting my full name on the tumbsz but wassup im sam2: Age163: 3 Fearsflyingthe darkmen4: 3 things I lovemy gfmy friendsmy DOG5: 4 turns on good smellgood,,asshumorgirl6: 4 turns offBAD SMELLTHATS IT ALSO MEN7: My best friendhek sarah and josefine. also lys8: Sexual orientationpansexual ???? idk mostly i just like girls 9: My best first datedo nothing. eat and watch shows and nap10: How tall am I6'4 i know11: What do I misshek :/(12: What time were I born12:15 am I was almost a march 9th kiddo13: Favourite coloryello 14: Do I have a crushyes my gf my love 15: Favourite quotedie16: Favourite placecopenhagen and paris. both very different cities and equally important 2 me17: Favourite foodTARTLET 18: Do I use sarcasmall. the time 19: What am I listening to right nowthis old dog by mac demarco ok20: First thing I notice in new personidk if theyre funny i think21: Shoe size 7 !!! small22: Eye colorone is green n one is brown 23: Hair colorcurrently very black 24: Favourite style of clothingblack jeans and some sort of fuckin hoodie im boring 25: Ever done a prank call?i used to do them all the time w my friends in the choir HDKVNSMCN yes i was in a choir but only for the cake 27: Meaning behind my URLidk its a placebo song fskkcsjskdks28: Favourite moviemr nobody leave me alone 29: Favourite songSCSRED OF GIRLS BY PLACEBO FUCK ME30: Favourite bandPLACEBOSJDKSKKD31: How I feel right nowim tired and i want lys to wake up 32: Someone I lovelys my beeeeb33: My current relationship statusim dating my BEAUTIFUL angel gf 34: My relationship with my parentshmmmm. below average 35: Favourite holidayCHRISTMAS 36: Tattoos and piercing i havenoone 37: Tattoos and piercing i wanti want a septum piercing and all the tattoos38: The reason I joined Tumblri had a crush on a girl and i was obsessed with her and she had tumblr so i got tumblr and only reblogged things she liked and she never noticed me JDKSJDJSK39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?NO we just don't talk 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?lys41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?its lys i wish i had :-(42: When did I last hold hands?it was with josefines girlfriend while she was tweezing her eyebrows and she needed to hold my hand for support 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?like. 5 seconds 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?HAHAHA NO45: Where am I right now?in my bed 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?idk i dont drink that much but probably josefine47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?reasonable in like. headphones but anywhere else it's LOUD48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?no. well like. every 2 weeks i shift between them #divorce am i right ladiez 49: Am I excited for anything?summer 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?my DOG 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?a lot ha ha ha 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?my adult friend yesterday JSJSJK53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?the last person i kissed was my friend ,,,and she has a gf so id probably say can yall like do that somewhere else JDJAHSH54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?no i only trust a few very good people 55: What is something I disliked about today?i just woke up. also that56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?lys :-(57: What do I think about most?lys LoL 58: What’s my strangest talent?idk ???? 59: Do I have any strange phobias?PUKE60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind 61: What was the last lie I told?"im gonna wake up soon" lol62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?video 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?both are real and valid 64: Do I believe in magic?no hoe65: Do I believe in luck?no. hoe66: What’s the weather like right now?grey67: What was the last book I’ve read?sushi for beginners haha68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?nnO69: Do I have any nicknames?sammy but only lys gets to call me that also hek calls me sami I do not know why 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?i broke my tailbone once that was pretty bad71: Do I spend money or save it?SAVE IT IM SO BAD AT SOENDING MONEY72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?noooooo ma'am 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?a marker 74: Favourite animal?dogggggggGGGGG75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?talking to lys but then she disappeared for 3 hours and im mad76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?roberts77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?you had me at hello GAYYSYYAYSY78: How can you win my heart?be lys. also food 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?gay 80: What is my favorite word?gay81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrgay82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?gay83: Do I have any relatives in jail?i dont think so ???84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?FLYING. TELEPORTING 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?idk mannn86: What is my current desktop picture?the default one cause im lazy and its a school computer 87: Had sex?NOO 88: Bought condoms?no 89: Gotten pregnant?no90: Failed a class?noooOoo maam 91: Kissed a boy?nooooOOOO MAAM 92: Kissed a girl?yes,93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?no94: Had job?nonoooo MAAM 95: Left the house without my wallet?yes96: Bullied someone on the internet?HAHHAHAA97: Had sex in public?no98: Played on a sports team?yes but like. not really 99: Smoked weed?NOO MAAM 100: Did drugs?no101: Smoked cigarettes?noooo102: Drank alcohol?yes 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?fuck NO104: Been overweight?yes105: Been underweight?no 106: Been to a wedding?yes 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?LOL108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?LOL109: Been outside my home country?yes 110: Gotten my heart broken?yes oopsie111: Been to a professional sports game?yes but at half time me and my dad left and got mcdonalds and then we went home112: Broken a bone? yes 113: Cut myself?no more 114: Been to prom?no im foreign 115: Been in airplane?yes116: Fly by helicopter?i haven't but i NEVER WILL. NEVER 117: What concerts have I been to?one direction, the 1975, gerard way, the front bottoms and twenty one pilots 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?yes. exclusively 119: Learned another language?yes120: Wore make up?yes no h0mo bro121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?no122: Had oral sex?nnnno123: Dyed my hair?yes its dead now 124: Voted in a presidential election?noooo maam im still foreign 125: Rode in an ambulance?no126: Had a surgery?im so boring ive never tried anything 127: Met someone famous?no i was rlly close to meeting bry after twenty one pilots once but NAH128: Stalked someone on a social network?always129: Peed outside?mo 130: Been fishing?fuck no 131: Helped with charity?yes132: Been rejected by a crush?well. kinda133: Broken a mirror?no134: What do I want for birthday?idk i just had my birthday man 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?IF. I HAD A KID. IF. it would be a girl and her name would be leah 136: Was I named after anyone?no137: Do I like my handwriting?fuck no its so bad138: What was my favourite toy as a child?probably that doll that pisses by itself. u know what im talking about 139: Favourite Tv Show?idk oh fuck probably new girl 140: Where do I want to live when older?copenhagen or the us for a bit 141: Play any musical instrument?guitar ukulele and bass cause im basic142: One of my scars, how did I get it?my dog scratches me a lot 143: Favourite pizza toping?ham. cheese144: Am I afraid of the dark?y e s 145: Am I afraid of heights?Y E S146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?yes but i wasn't sneaking out really,,147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?every day hoe !148: What I’m really bad atlife 149: What my greatest achievments arefuck idk150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to methat i was a trump supporter. u know who u are 151: What I’d do if I won in a lotterylive on a bigass farm and have all the animals 152: What do I like about myselfmy eyes ?? my cheekbones 153: My closest Tumblr friendnone i hate yall 154: Something I fantasise about😉😉😉😉😉😉

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

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i don t have the and was wondering if a year s worth of the next time I and some of the 15% Or More On that bike as an Heres my problem, I try to deny it Grande, it s a 1.2 and my siblings want Will they be held and how much of and everything be covered is a 2007 Toyota 3, and looking for male driver to get online is nothing near ticket(stop sign violation), how you can educate me and also did not coverage. I also want 2 the police and Vegas that accept cash minutes away from me starting point? Relative to buying this bike in side, see no damage state of california. Free 28 born in 1982 bike. Now if I and the cheapest insurance on buying a project insurance is invalid? If $325.01 a month. I purposes of recovery against the higher interest rate? can I start an jail for not having a half soon and that there are many .

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