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#idk if anyone's going to want to read these but I'M having a lot of fun with this book
gurugirl · 3 days
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Hi, idk really why I want to ask you this but sometimes I just feel so insecure about the fact I’m still a virgin at 23. I haven’t even kissed someone. I’ve always been so insecure about my looks that I’ve never wanted to get intimate with someone, and i know I’m not ugly but I just feel like now the fact I have never had anything makes me feel repulsive. I’ve been on dates but I’ve just never felt that interested in them? I like my alone time too and I feel like I can’t be bothered trying to force a relationship when I want to work on myself. I’m going travelling in 6 months for a year and I doubt I’ll meet someone when I’m travelling so I’ll be 25 almost when I come back and still a virgin. Is that bad? I know I should take things at my pace but I just feel like there must be something wrong with me if I don’t really want to with anyone I’ve met who’s been into me? What should I do?
I got wordy here so a read more was necessary ↓
Hi hon. I say this anytime someone asks me about having not met some milestone yet - but you still being a virgin at 23 really doesn't define you at all and it's not weird. I bet I could post a poll right now and ask who's still a virgin past the age of 23 and you'd see a lot more virgins than not. In fact, I just had a recent anon who is also 23 and a virgin (pretty sure I posted this ask yesterday - check the #ask tag on my blog if you'd like) so you're not alone. Not even close.
Milestones, especially something like when you should lose your virginity, should all be done away with. There's no timeline for something like that. And I'm sure you've heard it before but you definitely want to enjoy your first time having sex and do it with someone you trust and not force yourself to get it over with. While I think virginity is mostly just a social construct, it can be a big deal to us as individuals.
You aren't repulsive, there's nothing wrong with you, and you get to decide when and with whom you do have sex with. No one but you. I actually think you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You've gone on dates and have made the mature decision that you weren't that into the people you dated, you know you're someone who enjoys your alone time (me too hon), you already know better than to force a relationship (some people don't get this concept bc they're scared to be alone and by the time they realize what they've done it's too late), and you're about to go on a year-long travel which is huge and there would be so many people your age terrified to travel for a year. You're brave, adventurous, and smart.
I think you're way more amazing than you realize, just from this ask I can pick up how mature and emotionally intelligent you are. Don't compromise. You're doing absolutely amazing. And also don't discount yourself that you're not going to perhaps meet someone on your travels. Who knows what will happen? Maybe you'll still be a virgin after the year is up - but that's perfectly okay too. Be open to what could happen and keep doing what you're doing.
Also, it's going to benefit you to not talk badly about yourself. Start telling yourself how impressive and how unique you are. Do away with saying such negative things. Seriously. No more of that that! You're going to be just fine. Remember that you're still young, you're smart, and you're about to do something that most people in this world cannot say they've ever done, nor would they be brave enough to (enjoy wherever your travels take you!).
xoxo
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every-sanji · 1 month
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judicent · 4 months
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Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
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obnoxiousarcade · 3 months
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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think
#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been#staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo#im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely#ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn#i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love#talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for#another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um#.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON#the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont#think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have#to#NO MORE BEING A DOWNER#fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time#okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh#I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them#hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin#you what you think of him.#um third person..... um#okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit#im gonna delete this soon#Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that#i dont think anyones going to see this as is always#i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah
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greymantledlady · 1 year
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the urge to literally screenshot everything in Riven's bit is REAL. this kid is so fucking funny help
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agdhdhsjfhks this poor kid
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Ah yes, his cool leather jacket.
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he just. hates being a Specialist so. much.
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OH MY GOD. RIVEN 😭
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oh Riven sweetie 🫣😭
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annie-thyme · 4 months
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and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender
#honestly I don't even know what this is about I just saw some stories on insta and it's like oh look#she is so proud to be a woman whoa ppl...actually do that huh#and I just realised I never really felt that way like. not fully!! maybe a bit of that yeah but not to this full extent of this#womanhood thing#and I mean yeah I probably felt more of it in my teens and like 20s but it only just occurred to me that it's never been to this full extent#of being womanly and motherly and nurturing etc etc#and now I do not feel like that art all I mean I mostly am a creachur. a divine being. if you will. a freak#and I love it tomorrow I'm gonna go try on some skirts which I haven't done in ages and I'm definitely gonna be doing it in a queer way#not in a girl way#anyway#I know this is really weird going on tag rants here where nobody except a few of my mutuals (hey guys love you lots thought u should know)#is gonna see let alone read this but I really don't have anyone irl to talk to abt gender stuff and I mean I tried?#but just idk. ppl don't get it? like everyone in my life already knows I'm queer and they sorta hand wave it away like that is too#complicated and not that important - and it isn't!! but it also is!#I think they might have been more understanding and sympathetic if I were trans but I'm not and being nonbinary is somehow too difficult for#them to grasp idk#and when I say I don't want to be a different gender and feel increasingly outside and to the left of my assigned gender the more I think#about it they just. do not get it. and it is kinda discouraging and leaves me feeling like not talking about it with them ever#I don't know why I'm writing all this tbh#gender#queer things
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kuiinncedes · 7 months
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lmao
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faethfigueroth · 5 months
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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cookies-over-yonder · 7 months
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cookies sad hour whining hour ignore me (<- actually loves attention)
#i'm sad because i wish people would message me first more#i'm always the person who messages first#but when other people send me messages it makes me feel like oh you actually like talking to me and wanted to reach out and talk to me and#are giving me attention without me messaging first#i am a person who needs a lot of attention#and i don't mind asking for it bc i'm the kind of person who says what i want and need#but i get really sad at it sometimes because#when i'm feeling depressed or anxious then i isolate myself and if other people were to reach out to me first more then it would be less#likely to happen#like i even just want people to check in on me every now and then. ask me how i'm feeling if i've mentioned going through a depressive#episode#or whatever mental troubles#idk why i'm feeling so emotional about this suddenly#like i don't mind messaging people first but i guess when it comes to me struggling badly then i WISH people would message me to ask me#how i'm doing#@ all my friends reading this i am not upset at anyone at all btw i'm just lamenting about being a mentally ill extrovert#almost no one messages me first which is whatever cuz i'm chatty and used to initiating conversations but i guess it also makes me sad#i dont ask people to because i'm not about to force people to be doing something that is uncomfortable for them#i do ask people to check in on me though if they know i'm having an episode#idk if it rly happens though#i just sometimes fear that if i stopped pulling my weight in relationships due to a mental health crisis that all of my friendships will di#because i'm the one who initiates everything#again i'm not upset at anyone i'm just lamenting about being a mentally ill extrovert#vent#you can heart this or reply or whatever idc but rbs are off for obvious reasons
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roobylavender · 2 years
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another tangent to that but the funniest thing about the modern conflict and dynamic between bruce and talia is that if you wanted to pit them against each other in terms of parenting philosophies you could have done that just as easily going off of son of the demon alone. talia being an abusive mother is never something that should have been in the cards but her choice to prioritize bruce’s position as batman over the life they could have had together as parents of their child is something i think about a lot and generally talia is someone who was shown to criticize bruce when he let personal emotions and conflicts get in the way of honoring his duty. i could totally see her struggling to fulfill her role as a mother bc of how seriously she takes her ethical duty regardless of however much love she has for her child meanwhile bruce would take one look at an under-10 damian and be on the verge of dropping everything for him out of grief and severely emotionally clouded judgment bc that’s just who he is when it comes to his blorbos in dire straits 
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years
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do you have any theories about elysian? like i know she’s had like two lines so far and has existed for less than a third of a page. but do you have any thoughts about her backstory/what she wants/anything else?
(2/2) forgot to put this in my last ask (about elysian) but do you think she’s going to be for sophie or against sophie or somewhere in between?
I do have some ideas, but we know very little about her and I haven't put much thought into it, so keep that in mind. This is all very rough
Upon her introduction, three things stood out to me: she's the Lost Cities (both the cities' and the series) best kept, most dangerous secret, she is the "power source," and she nulled everyone's powers.
That leads me to believe she's tied to the elves' abilities. Perhaps she powers them somehow, grants them the power they have either willingly or is coerced into doing so . If she's tied to Nightfall and it's rare occurrence every few millenia, perhaps she can only act during those 12 days and if she's confined to the island--perhaps by some doing of the Ancient Council, maybe (huge maybe) tied to that stained glass dome--then she can't act.
So if she gave the elves their power then disappeared, the elves would be safe to keep their abilities until she reappeared a few thousand years later and could threaten to take them away. But confined to that island, she poses no threat unless someone comes to her; since that seventh element, the event, Elysian herself is stricken from the records and the place is coated in illusion, no one would come to her.
(very loose idea: maybe elves gained their abilities around the time of Atlantis, and the reason it was a human/elf city was because humans were becoming elves there. again, very loose idea I'm just brainstorming)
Based on the little I know and have guessed about her, I'm hazarding that Elysian'll be for herself. I don't think it'll be a pro/against Sophie situation, because Sophie's irrelevant to Elysian's world. We're used to things centering about Sophie, but this is a secret from long before she was even an idea in Forkle's head. It's beyond her.
I think Elysian will side with whoever promises to get her what she wants. Could be the Black Swan. Could be the Neverseen. Could be just Sophie herself. I don't think it'll be the council though, because she's part of a very buried secret and I imagine she doesn't like them much for it, even if the council has changed. And based on her being a buried secret, I imagine she was wronged in some way and wants revenge/reclamation of that to some degree. To get the council back, to get a certain amount of power, etc. I mean, first thing she does is take away other people's power. That may be telling.
Again, this is all really rough and based on minimal information, so take it with a grain of salt. But this is how I've personally read her character and fit her into my understanding of the series. Until proven otherwise, this is who I'm assuming her to be :)
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arklay · 2 years
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a dangerous thing.
pairing: diana x albert wesker words: 22.8k warnings: nsfw, body image, sexual dysfunction
“Take them off,” she whispered, motioning towards his sunglasses. “I want to see you.”
Wesker sighed, and despite the little voice in his head telling him not to entertain her like last time, he reached up and took his glasses off, nonetheless. Folding the temples slowly over one another, he made sure not to touch the lenses and leave any smudges – no doubt amusing her with how careful he was being with them – before he placed them down on the table. When he looked back up at her, he watched how her eyes were trained on his hands until they flitted up to meet his own, and the small smile that deepened the indents on her cheeks stirred that irritating sensation behind his sternum.
“Your fascination with my eyes is unnerving,” he said without thinking too much on the implications of such a statement, and immediately regretted it afterwards.
Diana chuckled, standing up straight as she stepped even closer into his space, the jasmine in her perfume seeming more potent than usual as it overwhelmed his senses; that familiar, almost comforting scent reminded him of the first time they had ever stood this close.
She searched his eyes for further clarification as her smile turned more teasing than sweet, and she lifted a hand to absent-mindedly walk her fingers up his chest. “Did you just admit that I unnerve you?”
[read on ao3]
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belovedspector · 1 year
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catrillion · 2 years
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Every time I meet a milestone with Automata I decide that it needs a little more work before the "first look" is done. Originally my goal was for it to be the first five chapters, And now here I am writing chapter 13 going "okay but they need a little bit more to truly get a sense of the story, let's make it 15 chapters"
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astrxealis · 2 years
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i really want to write a song one day
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my inspiration to write poetry came back today... or rather yesterday now#but i've been searching up the meanings behind lyrics of songs lately a lot more than i usually do (though i do like my own interpretation#i also want to see the actual meaning in mind and kind of do prefer that i think) songs not from video games btw!#bcs if it's from video games. you can bet i already searched up immediately lol <3#but uhm. yeah. i love writing and i know i have a creative mind ever since i was really young and i love music!#i remember in the car when i was really young i liked to imagine song lyrics alongside melodies? but i want to do that someday#in a proper way. yk. idk how people make songs tbh but i love music so very much i do want to make my own one day.#just casually though GBHJSEBGJH i am very ambitious but i doubt and also don't want to get big in the music scene. but also#it's not as if i'll ever really know! and i'm not sure to what extent i want to be involved with making music. considering i want a#career relating to computer science or psychology/psychiatry or law so... yeah. and i want to go overseas. and explore. and travel.#and i want to make my own video game and write my own book. or multiple of them. so. yeah.#i've always been very ambitious but it was paired with my mind that for some reason never thought i'd have a future but now it's#getting. really there. and it's scary but also it's exciting and still scarier but also. yeah. it's nice. so i'll actually work towards my#dreams! tbh for a long time? i wasn't sure what dreams and hopes i had... like. idk. i just couldn't remember. but now i do.#so i'll try my best and try to be kinder to myself. and uh idk if anyone read this oops i'm rambling at almost 1 am. but yeah! <3#don't forget to treat yourself well. you deserve happiness and success. love yourself. don't give up. you'll achieve your dreams. <33
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neverendingford · 28 days
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#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
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