#idk if anyone here would be interested in my oc content anyway

[iris-draws]

Serious Rant‼️‼️

Okay so I've been thinking about this a lot. Originally I started posting on this account for fun and I truly didn't think my art would get this type of traction. I have more than 200 followers who follow me for my hazbin/helluva posts, and that's absolutely insane to me (I know by social media standards that's not a lot but it is to me) Even artists I've looked up to for years have noticed and complimented my art. I truly love the community on tumblr and everyone who has interacted with me have been some of the sweetest people.

Before anyone freaks out, I am in no way quitting. I love making art, and I love people appreciating my art even more. However, as much as I love my favorite shows like Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Gravity Falls and TADC, all of which I post here, I have other art I'd like to post.

I am also a writer. I've written out stories and made hundreds of characters, all of which I want to share. It'll be hard, I know that. People normally aren't as interested in OCs as they are in Fandom art, and that's okay. I want to share my stories and my art, but I'm not sure if I want to on this account. I'm known for my hh and hb content, and I don't want to randomly switch and have disappointed people who arent getting the content they signed up for.

I'm thinking of either 1. Posting oc art/stories here (if people don't care)

2. Creating a separate account for my art that isn't Fandom based

3. If no one is interested, not posting the art and creating it for myself and my friends to enjoy.

Another thing, if I were to make the separate account, I'd want to take the username with me. And turn this account into a Fandom based one. Probably a name having to do with Verovel, idk lol. Anyways, I want people's thoughts on this cause I'm torn.

[causticsunshine]

Heyy whatcha been getting into lately? Alternatively, what have you been enjoying being a hater of lately?

okay first hello i love how this question is phrased hajdks very on brand for me and two uhhh oh boy a lot of stuff tbh!

so to preface. over the years i’ve had many phases where i get out of some irl person based media (usually 1d or some random tv show) and back into animated series, then the inverse happens, the cycle repeats, etc.? so i’m currently back into animated stuff as well as fully leaning into kpop everywhere instead of what i was doing before, where i was trying to limit my posting in general or limiting it to twitter under the guise of trying to seem slightly Normal™️ but now i’m fully leaning into whatever makes me happy and inspired and if that makes me annoying so be it

anyway—in terms of animated shows i’ve been watching one piece for almost a year now as for some reason i couldn’t get into it when i was younger and then was deterred by the series length, but i’m really enjoying it! i’m about to start the long ring long island arc if that means anything to anyone lol. i’ve also been watching and loooving dungeon meshi, and i’m currently reading it as well! i tried reading it a few years ago and stopped a few chapters in (idr why) but now i’m hooked and am struggling to pace myself…. i might try and do some fanart soon 👀

with kpop mmmm i’ve actually been a casual fan since like 2010 (listened to some 2008-2009 but it was mostly early shinee and random kpop compilations on youtube lmao) but have gotten in and out of it several times? now though i’ve been pretty Involved consistently since 2019/2020, although the groups i follow the closest are ateez, oneus and nct (127)!

i saw oneus in seattle last month after missing them twice and had such a good time (i still haven’t finished sorting my pictures though and haven’t posted like. any oops) and i am tryyyying (like. praying on my hands and knees lighting candles talking to the moon levels level trying) to get my hands on VIP1 tickets for ateez in tacoma and tickets go live next week so wish me luck as i will definitely need it with how pricey it’s likely to be… but also i will proudly commit heinous deplorable acts for ateez barricade sooo either way i’m determined to get my way? aka: i want and need my own y/n moment ahfksksn

also to clarify i’m not a shipper or whatever when it comes to kpop! i may enjoy the odd fic or will cringe read things with my friends but it’s nothing like HL for me; it’s a very different dynamic overall and i don’t get those kinda vibes in a serious way from any groups i follow? although with ateez… i can kinda see why they attract some of those kinds of fans i’m ngl

and on the side, i’ve actually been working on original content again! the one group of ocs i tend to pick up and put down has been temporarily sidelined for a pair i dumped a few years back but am currently reworking and actually have a story for now! idk if i’ll do anything proper with said story as comics are exhausting so rn i’m mostly word-vomming into docs and trying to nail down my character designs. when i’ve got things worth sharing though i do plan to share here as well, if anyone would be interested 👉👈

alternately when it comes to my haterism… i still greatly dislike and am exhausted with miss swiftie for numerous reasons and my god my art twitter is swathed in h*zbin h*tel content?? like actually plagued?? otherwise though there are just things i wish i saw less because i’m simply just not interested right now (aka 1d stuff) or in general and don’t want to start disliking those things because i’m seeing them too much

ok def rambled more than i meant to oopsie doopsie but yeah uhh that’s kinda it! anon i hope you are well and enjoying yourself in whatever you are doing rn 💕 and feel free to share if you feel so inclined to!

[heathenkweer]

Honestly I don't know why you're so popular, you can't write Luis to save your life and putting him with a woman proves that, the man is as gay as a two dollar bill, and a lame female character like Mary-Sue Catalina at that. Why do you put obviously gay characters like Loki or Luis with women? It's giving homophobic tbh

okay normally I would ignore this type of message like I normally do but admittedly you've caught me in a weakened mental state because of a CFS crash, so, here's the attention you wanted:

(I'm going to assume you're also the anon who said something about Wintersberg being "obvious" or whatever, too.)

My little fic and my little OCs aren't keeping anyone from shipping what they like or reading what they like. I've no clue why some people act like they do.

As for why I don't ship "obvious" popular fanon M/M couples like Serennedy or Wintersberg:

I no longer accept crumbs of barely there subtext from my media when it comes to queer relationships.

I'm tired of doing the work for the writers. I'm tired of forcing room for myself and other queer people in their canons. That's the whole reason I stopped writing MCU stuff -- I'm tired of always having to fix Loki's character, of giving more of a shit about him than any of his writers ever have. (Also, MCU Loki is canonically bisexual, so idk where you're getting that "obviously gay" thing from.)

Also, none of these ships are my catnip, as I've mentioned before. Give me Morpheus/Hobb from The Sandman and we'll talk then. Give me Aziraphale/Crowley. Or, on the other side, give me Usagi/Seiya from Sailor Moon, or Haruka/Michiru.

And lastly: I write female OCs because generally the media I get into doesn't have a lot of great female characters. In FFXV, if you're a woman and a love interest, you get killed to further the men's stories. Same if you're a mother character. Village is sliiiiightly better about this, surprisingly, but the way they completely shafted Mia pissed me off, and I wanted to really delve into what growing up in that village would be like and how that might twist a person like Aranka. And Cat -- I wanted someone who knew Luis before the whole Umbrella and Los Illuminados thing, and again, I wanted to give Valdelobos and the people who lived in it a bit more time to shine on their own.

ANYWAY. I'm content with how I write my characters. It's brought me a lot of good friends and tbh I appreciate that more than I would thousands of fans. (I also do not know where you got the idea that I'm popular from. I was middling-popular in the Logyn fandom, like... ten years ago now, and I'm but a mere drop in both the RE4 and Village fandoms.)

Other people write about these ships far better than I do, so I suggest you go find them and read their works instead of sending weird messages to strangers on the internet.

[kadoodles-on-ao3]

So uh... How do you feel about Nikol's existence?

I technically shouldn't know who that is yet but... I do. And. Well. You can probably guess by how you worded this ask hahaha.

Not surprised at all, if you like them as a couple then good for you and hope you're enjoying the DLC, you don't need me on your side because they're canon so that can satisfy you content-wise plus my opinions are silly and don't matter, etc etc, all I've said before applies here.

Honestly, if anything, the only unique thing I have to add here* is how his design really demonstrates how much Shulk and Fiora look like siblings lmao. There's even a (really cool!) fan mod to alter Fiora's hair and skin color to look more like her (actual) brother, so I'm not alone in seeing this haha.

So, Nikol. He sure does exist. Dude looks just like Shulk because his dad and mom both look like Shulk so what else could he look like. That's about all the thoughts I have haha (at least until I actually play more of 3 and see what he's like).

Non-ask-related ramblings under the cut because it's me, of course I rambled haha.

As I really don't like to nor want to rain on anyone's parade, as well as enjoy talking about the ship I like (because of course), I've made an effort to mentally retrack my train of thought (? idk how else to describe it lol) whenever my NOTP comes up by converting it into an opportunity to talk about my OTP instead of complaining. (See also my comment on What If We Kissed In The Weapons Development Lab where I mentioned going back into my fic and adding more details of Shulk being enamored by Melia whenever I came across Shiora while writing it lol.)

So, Shulkelia kids! I'm personally not one for creating OCs, in general or for media I like. Not that I dislike them or even the thought/process of making them! It just doesn't come to me as easily or interest me as much as digging into canon details and playing around with them. But I did come up with a couple rough concepts for what they might look like and how their parents might decide on their names... if they even would want to have kids in the first place, that is, I'm still unsure about that haha. But fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be and that's the fun of it, so maybe sometime I'll try developing those small ideas into something more (especially if it's something people are interested in reading)! If anything I'm most attached to my little blurbs I wrote about how they and their kids would interact with Reyn and Sharla and their kids, lots of cute potential there :)

(*Well, I can add something more, and I originally was going to do it! Not to contradict my whole don't-like-raining-on-anyone's-parade point, but again I want to stress, my intention with this is I just really enjoy analyzing details and understanding why I react to things in the way that I do. But I did mention to a previous ask that I have in-game writing reasons for why I dislike Shiora, it's not just personal experience from my life outside of the fandom or in observing it. In fact on my first playthrough of the game I was all for it and even saved a bunch of fanart of the two together on my phone, I see it when scrolling through my gallery all the time! It really fascinates me how drastically my perspective shifted after just one small moment at the very end of the game, and then on replaying it everything fell apart like a house of cards to me, wild stuff I can't compare the experience to anything else haha. Anyway if anyone's interested in seeing my take on that aspect of their writing, once again, feel free to send me an ask about it!)

[0ruguitas]

im 26 and i watched encanto for the first time like 2 weeks ago and already have like 10,000 words of an extremely indulgent fanfic and an OC it is so embarrassing that my brain pointed at the 50 year old sad neurodivergent man who lives in the walls and was like "that one" but like also. im having fun klfjds

bruno madrigal is a handsome and sweet man who deserves the world and by god i'm gonna give it to him

Its been a while since a fictional character has had this much of a fucking vice grip on my brain but Bruno really does tick so many boxes for me it's unreal. Like he's so cute w the his big sad eyes, floofy hair, and oversized ruana on top of being so sweet, kind, goofy, and just a little bit unhinged and it just makes me so !!!!

Also mood I have an oc made for the sole purpose of making Bruno happy as well agdhdhs. I haven't written anything for them yet bc I'm still a lil embarrassed but they've been rattling around in my brain for a while now lmao.

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

I felt like barfing out my thoughts

Hi, hello, long time no see. This isn’t really any sort of update or anything; like the title says, i just have some thoughts and i want to put them into words lol. And i’m putting it here instead of twitter cuz of the bigger word count fa;ewiofna;e

THIS IS A WHOLEASS JUMBLE OF WORDS THAT DON’T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING, SO FEEL FREE TO JUST SKIP PAST

Anyways, um... i feel like i’m kinda losing the thread on bnha. It doesn’t really have anything to do with how the story is going or anything (though i will admit my focus is stronger whenever there are major moments with aizawa and mic, which,,,, there haven’t been much lately fla;oewfnwai), but more to do with the fact that i’ve been here for 4 years straight, which is,, the longest time i’ve been in one fandom at a time??? i’m super impressed of myself by that, but also?? kinda burnt out and honestly kinda super lonely?

Since finishing my multichap, i’ve actually had a little time to try and catch up on fanart and fanfic i’ve missed, and,, i dunno. none of it’s really getting me; even content that has all the tropes and ships i’m super into hasn’t been really grabbing me. It’s nothing to do with the quality of said works; they’re all well-crafted. Idk i’m just not feeling as enthusiastic as i once did.

Not to mention like 95% of the people who were in the em fandom back when i first joined have all moved onto other fandoms, so a lot of the time it kinda just feels like i’m t-posing and screaming silently in a very big and empty room lol. And this isn’t meant to throw shade at anyone!! I genuinely hope all my mutuals are having the time of their lives with whatever series they devote their attention to. It’s just hard for me to keep being invested in a thing when everyone i know that was there with me have all moved on lol. And then also i feel like i lost a good 2/3s of my audience cuz of my extended hiatus, so that also puts a damper on things.

Ideally, I want to stay with bnha at least until the story concludes. But i’m not sure how long that’s gonna be, and how invested i can keep myself until that point. Right now my focus is being pulled in like 4 or 5 different directions: bnha, OC stuff, real life stuff, and a few other small interests i dabble in every now and again like botw. So it’s been uhhh... tough... to keep one stable thread going rn lol

Now that I’m graduating, I want to try and post more often, i’m just,,,, not sure what i would be posting. Again, ideally, I would love to get some spark for erasermic and rooftop squad stuff. But my brain has just been mush when it comes to coming up with any sort of art/story ideas lately. I don’t know what it is, but it feels like i just can’t come up with any sort of semi-to-fully fleshed out plot anymore. And not even just with fandom stuff, but with original stuff too. Over this past semester, I managed to come up with an original story and characters that i actually kinda like and want to pursue, but i just keep running into these blank spots that, no matter how hard i try, i can’t find a way to fill them in. I can’t bring myself to blame depression for my mental fog, just cuz in the past i was going through a bad depression bout, and that time ended up being the peak of my creativity, so idk what’s really going on with me right now f;aoweifn

I know a good portion of it is probably cuz i restrict how many stories i consume cuz i don’t like the threat of potentially jumping fandoms. I have a whole list of anime recommendations waiting for me and other shows/stories/whatnot that i’ve been passingly interested in, and i hesitate to watch any of them, cuz there’s always that chance i’ll get too invested. Unfortunately, i’m not one of those people who can have a bunch of hyperfixations lying dormant until someone speaks the magic words and suddenly i’m all about it again. The way my dumb brain works is that I have 1 Big interest and a few very small interests. The small interests are basically always there, and i can consume them quickly and briefly without ending up consumed by them. But once that 1 Big interest changes, it takes a lot of time and effort to try and keep up the enthusiasm for that previous Big interest, and often times, it doesn’t work out and i get to the point where i basically don’t want to see anything pertaining to that old Big interest anymore (if that makes,,,,,, any lick of sense at all omfg)

Idk. This is a whole mess and a half of words lol. Guess what i’m trying to lament is my inability to consume new media without fear of it taking over my brain af;oewina. I want to find new stories, I want to expand my horizons, but i always dread the possibility of jumping ship to a different fandom. And I know i know it’s a really stupid thing to be worried about, but idk. I invested a lot of time into bnha, a lot of which got lost when i went on my hiatus, and a part of me is just like “bro you’re not DONE here”, but like,,, brain no worky. And i’m not entirely sure what to do or how to feel lol

TL;DR:

- I’m getting kinda burnt out on bnha but i don’t really know whether to try and hold on or just let go; and if i let go, i don’t know what will happen lol

- i want to try and post more, but i’m not sure what i’ll be posting

- my brain is Big Stupid and it’s frustrating

[okamixxiii]

Elijah 01

Being on tumblr makes me wanna feel more homely and less professional and then I suddenly remember I can just like,, lore dump anytime I want and post out of a time schedule just like back in 2014. Anyways someone on Deviant Art asked about Elijah! So ill be chatting about him in this moment. Cant say today because LMAO Ill probably be back on here later talking about another oc.

I dont really talk about him as much as I should and I have very few content of him in it. Truth is I purposely dont really expand on him as much as to try and bend/taint his character that I fleshed out for him to be. Its something that happens quite often when I try to dive too deep and I find that by a fault a lot of my characters end up feeling the same-- to me at least. So its a preventative measure.  Here IS what i have about him though: Elijah Alan Spence, Agent Spence, Code name Black Rabbit, or for some: Eli!  He’s an elite agent that has worked his way up through T.K.E.A ranks (ill make a t.k.e.a thing later just check lore tag or somn before I actually decide to learn how to structure my text posts). Although he’s an elite agent dont think that his views align with what T.K.E.A is doing. Hes mostly a ‘good’ guy wrapped up in bad things type deal since I love doing that for some reason.  The initial belief was that he could work his way up and change it that way but its clear that because of him being brought into the agency as only an agent that there was a dead end when it comes to working yourself up to more ceo levels. The highest you can go would be what he is; an elite.  When he realized that was also when he realized that T.K.E.A basically silences any defective agents so there was no way to change things without getting himself murdered. So he was put in a space where he had to continue his job while figuring out how to fix things undercover.  Unfortunately until Chris (when T.K.E.A really started fucking up) there wasnt anything that was really pushing him to just make the jump without thinking.    Now I know that sounds weak ended on his part but let me explain something:  Elijah was very very inspired by tah-dah! 

BBC Sherlock! *1# on all time favorite and comfort shows to watch and HAS seen it 10 times in total. No, Im not joking.*

So if you picked up on this, congratulations! Here's a cookie. Now that means in this he has a very similar qualities as Sherlock Holmes that he cannot operate without thinking things through. Not until a time really calls for it. I am NOT saying that Christian Edens is his John, gods no. In fact his “john” actually was his partner (in the work sense) died at a job.  Its just more or so the situation with Chris was a final straw, one that really made Elijah say ‘enough is enough!’. He may seem brief and brutally honest on the outside that often makes him come across as an asshole but on the inside he truly does have a heart for those in need and a drive to stride for something better for everyone. Its just he will be doing it in his own way and gods forbid if anyone tried to change his direction he laid out for himself. Hes very stubborn. 

Elijah took the cards he was dealt with and made the absolute most of them of what he could. It just, wasnt enough at the time.

Hes highly intelligent, though bit rough around the edges when it comes to socialization. Like Sherlock again as his inspiration, he can make quick deductions but has a hard time keeping his mouth shut when he makes those deductions. Not everyone enjoys his honesty and way of ‘no bullshitting’.  Just because he has a heart doesnt mean he isnt a bit egotistical at times either. Its just not all the time. its like “hey look at how smart I am!”.  Other things to note is wow! Hes a rabbit shifter! His pronouns are he/him strictly and hes *sighs* straight. One of the very f e w ocs I have that are cishet. Though sometimes I do make some interesting hcs about him at least trying things. >_> Idk if ill put those here though. They are sexual in nature. LOL

[whumping-newbie]

Whumpblr Re-Introduction Post

It’s been like.... 2 years since I made this blog and pretty much a year since I was properly active, but i figured now is as good a time as any to re-introduce my blog for the people that follow me!

Hello! I’m Abi, she/her, in my 20′s and i guess technically, no longer a whumping-newbie XD but i do not want to change my blog name. I have too many masterposts and links and i do not want to go to the effort of changing every SINGLE one because i changed the name so. The name is staying XD

I love to see reluctant whumpers, creepy captors, lots of hurt/angst and some spicy stuff too!

I have a few stories on this blog that are very much the definition of WIP XD perpetually in progress. But anyway! Under the cut for length.

My main project - Angel:

Most of the stories on this blog are from the perspective of my reluctant whumper, Michał, and his story can be found [Here]. If you’re interested in some of the less whumpy context for the story, it can be found on my writing blog [Here] (and the prequel [Here]). It’s a story about a Princess who is on the run after her country is overthrown and her father executed by the former army General - who will not stop until he has captured the Princess once again. Michał, who is loyal to the Princess, must try and keep his intentions hidden but do whatever he can to stop the General from finding the Princess.

I do have a dark AU for this story, but i don’t really know if i want to post it XD maybe if people are interested.

A project that is on hiatus but is nevertheless here - the Whumper Gathering, aka Lot 1′s Story:

Based on a post [x] [x] by @straight-to-the-pain and @scath001, whumpees are auctioned off and taken by very rich ppl. Idk the worldbuilding isn’t thought out that much XD but here features Lot 1 and a few other whumpees who find themselves caught up in this system. The master post is [Here].

And I find myself working on an ever-growing list of stories with the one and only @justplainwhump! She’s a fantastic writer and RP partner, and we have a few stories together! (most of which are on [her blog], but i really should post more of mine here XD)

Set in her Street Magic universe, one of my OC’s in there is Creepy Charles “Charlie” Atwood, a high-ranking councilman who is sadistic, and has something of an unhealthy obession with his best friend’s wife Marissa. Most of these stories are NSFW, and Sara’s blog is 18+, so I shall repeat this here. Please don’t read or interact with these if you are under 18. The stories are tagged and read-more’d, but please heed them.

There is the Charlie/Marissa/Jason story, where Marissa is held captive in Charlie’s basement and hurt a Lot.

And the Casino AU, a sandbox where Marissa and other whumpees are forced to work for an ultra exclusive brothel on the top floor of a luxury casino (created also with the help of @sableflynn!). (warning for humiliation, captivity, noncon (not explicit), intimate whumpers, sadistic whumpers, lady whump (mostly lady whumpees, but also lady whumpers), human trafficking) There’s plenty of angst, and very little comfort here. Except for #Maritessa. There is plenty of content here, including other collaborations with @what-a-whump and her amazing characters too! Dany and B comf gives me life tbh #Bany. My characters in this universe, aside from Charlie, include Emily Lola, a student who was brought to the casino because she fit a profile and no one will miss her, Mr Jamie and Mrs Leona Fiennes, a married couple searching for entertainment (overly cheerful and low key discovering their taste for sadism too).

For less whump, more comf, and some more character pieces (with a tiny bit of angst for good measure), this is Lilly’s Story - about Charlie’s daughter whom he disowned for her magic. This is more intrinsically tied to the Street Magic universe, but her story focusses on her relationship with a fellow mage.

Lastly, I have something that I would like to post soon. My gift for my secret sunflower from months ago lmao @greatandquestionablecontent!

A reluctant whumper, a fiesty lady whumpee, and a very terrifying grandma (and cats, lots of cats).

I think that’s everything? I would like to post more of my writing here but I need time and inspiration, but for now, this is a nice place to start for anyone who comes across my blog!

[spencersawkward]

switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 8

summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid.

pairing: Fem!OC/Spencer

word count: 3.9k

content warnings: discussion of a dead body (for a case), discussion of sensory overload (idk if that's a warning but just in case).

A/N: sorry this took so long! i've had a lot of writer's block with this series, but i'm feeling a lot more motivated with it, now. anyway enjoy!

masterlist

my feet slam into the pavement at a rate that makes me wonder if my heart can take it. I can feel the air in my lungs, stinging, and the way it never seems like enough. I can't stop. my arms are pumping and my legs burn.

I'm sure I look like a mess right now, exhausted and sweaty as I make my way up the biggest hill by my apartment. I haven't been running in a while, and this incline is even more daunting than it was before.

I use the momentum I've built from before now and force myself up. every breath rips through me violently until I'm sure that if I stop running, I'll collapse. but I keep pushing, knowing it'll be worth it.

I hated running until college. just absolutely despised the thought of getting outside and forcing myself to move quickly. the older I get, though, the more refreshing it's gotten. it helped me escape from midterms, from the pressure that constantly seemed to mount with every passing day. sometimes it feels like all of it keeps piling on, and it's never going to stop.

of course, that's not really the way to look at life. I've had things to balance out the work, friends to call and ways to let out the hammering violence that always seem to fill the spaces between my ribs. running clears my head when nothing else does.

once I get to the top, I bend over and rest my palms on my knees so that I can relax. I can hear my heart beating in my ears and can feel my pulse thudding against my throat. it's good, though. I needed to do this again, to get exercise.

I resist the urge to lay down flat on the pavement. DC isn't really a good place to do that; everyone around me is on a morning stroll with their partner or they're out for a jog themselves. I pass several enthusiastic-looking dogs out for a walk. the sheer number of people around me should make me feel normal.

it doesn't.

I straighten and stretch out my muscles, wincing at the way my calves feel if I move them funny. I don’t want to get called in for a case today, but that's naive. there will always be another case because there will always be people we need to stop. maybe I'm just not jaded enough to not care. I like to think that's a good thing, though.

...

when I head into the office a couple hours later, there's a to-go cup of coffee resting on my desk. I smile to myself, set my bag down and shrug off my coat, then peek over the divider to see Spencer with a case file open and an identical to-go cup a couple inches away.

"is this your doing?" I refer to the coffee. he nods and smiles at me, seemingly not in the mood to talk.

"thanks, Reid."

sitting down to do some work, I sneak a peek at him. Spencer is acting different from last weekend. more shy. I'm not really sure the reason, unless he just felt particularly outgoing at the party and is now back to his default self.

we get a case before the hour is up, and then my mind is occupied by the details.

jet rides, though now a familiar routine, are probably my favorite part of the job. I don't feel totally unproductive, but I still have time to unwind and talk to people on our way. Emily and I have gotten much closer within the past few weeks and sometimes she tells me stories about her old job that keep me on the edge of my seat.

there's something so mysterious about her that I just appreciate; she's like a cool older cousin to me. and she's great at making fun of Morgan, which is something that I've found enjoyable as well. sometimes he needs to be knocked down a peg-- she's the woman to do it.

"how many?" I trace my finger down the smooth skin of Derek's arm, where he's lifted his sleeve just enough to show the inked lion. it's a big tattoo, and I'm somewhat surprised he has one at all. he just doesn't really seem the type.

"five right now." he flexes his bicep flirtatiously, and I immediately remove my hand with a repulsed expression, rolling my eyes at the chuckle he lets out.

"don't feed his ego like that." Emily warns from across the table. she's flipping through one of the plant magazines that we've stashed in the snack cupboards (much to Hotch's disapproval). I turn to see Morgan's reaction.

"you a little jealous, Prentiss?" he teases. her only response is a glance that dares him to push further. they both know that Emily has absolutely no interest in him, which I suppose adds to their friendship. Morgan leans down by my ear, but he makes no effort to quiet his voice. "you should ask about her tattoos."

"you have tattoos?" my eyes widen at this, voice a little louder than usual. Hotch glances over at us from his seat a ways away, but doesn't say anything. Reid is passed out on the couch, strangely tired for the middle of the day; Rossi's writing something in his miniature journal.

"that's not anyone's business." she says more to Morgan than to me.

"I wanna see!" I set my glass of ice water down on the table and straighten up. Emily pretends to be exhausted by the persistence, but she closes her magazine momentarily.

"look, I can't show them all here." she raises a suggestive eyebrow.

"then how does Derek know?" I smirk. Emily makes a face, but Morgan is the one who replies.

"this one gets a little loose-lipped when she drinks too much." he teases. I snort and glance at Emily. I've seen her tipsy before, but never drunk. at most, she gets affectionate with all of us and calls us her best friends in the whole world. which, honestly, isn't an unwelcome sentiment.

"I do not." she argues.

"yeah, you do." Reid mumbles from the couch cushion where he's been resting his head. I jump at the sudden noise, and we all turn to him.

"look who's up." Emily smiles. Reid stretches his legs out, limbs so long that his feet hang off the end of the couch. he's wearing mismatched socks again today, one with bananas and one covered in sushi rolls. I smile to myself.

"I'm not," he argues. "someone had to correct you."

Morgan and I let out an amused laugh. my eyes dart between Spencer and the two other agents. "I feel like I'm the only one here who hasn't seen Prentiss drunk."

"yes, you have." she frowns.

"no. not, like, plastered."

"don't let Garcia hear you say that." Morgan laughs. I snort.

"why?"

"any excuse to party, and she'll take it." he shakes his head affectionately.

"she'd just call it bonding." Prentiss adds in. I have a soft spot in my heart for Pen. for all of the darkness we see here, she makes it a little bit brighter with her quips and sparkly pens and neon glasses. she's a blessing.

"what's so bad about that?" I defend for her sake.

"nothing's wrong with it, per se," Emily shrugs. "it just means we aren't as professional as we should be."

"I'd argue that our job actually means we get to let loose more when we have the time." I shrug. Morgan offers his fist to pound, and I oblige with a satisfied smile.

"you two are children, you know that?" Emily gestures between Derek and me. I shrug, about to return to my crossword when she speaks again. "how many tattoos do you have, Clea?"

I blink for a second, deciding whether or not to lie. it would be kind of cool to sound badass, but I don't know if I even have the mental capability to fib to a bunch of profilers. "none."

"what?" Morgan looks at me with confusion.

"yeah, none. why is that such a big surprise?" I laugh at their reactions. Prentiss is alarmed, too.

"I don't know-- you seem like the kind of person to get a heart tattooed on your thigh or something." Morgan shrugs. I make a face, silent.

"that's offensive."

Prentiss snorts and finishes her drink. I peek over and see Reid with his eyes closed but a slightly amused smile on his face. by the couch, I can see through the window. we're slipping through gray clouds that are saturated with rain, and the weather change causes the jet to shake a bit.

my fingertips wrap around the arm of the seat and Emily eyes me warily.

"you okay?"

"don't like flying." I answer, nostrils flaring slightly. usually with these trips, I've been able to hide my apprehension for flying by holding onto my knee below the table or something, but the sudden jerks are putting me off.

it's stupid-- plane anxiety is ridiculously common, and I don't think it's necessarily unwarranted. the problem is that to a bunch of people trained in behavioral analysis, it shows a blatant fear of not having control.

which is true, but it's not like I need that plastered all over my face every time we board a flight.

"would you get a tattoo if you could?" Emily changes the subject, thankfully, and I bite down on my bottom lip.

"I think so, yeah." it's said without much thought; all that's on my mind right now is wondering what our ETA is. Morgan shifts in his seat to smirk.

"really."

"sure."

he nods appreciatively before turning to look back out the window. droplets of moisture are collecting there, but they only distort the image of Portland stretched out below. the water is steel gray and rippled with wind.

I've never been here. for some reason, I find myself wondering what it smells like. that mingling of city scent and ocean, if they meet in the middle to form their own distinct identity. if it will settle on my tongue and in my clothes.

it's funny to me that when I go to different places and return, I don't notice how different it all smells until I breathe it in through the fabric of my shirts, and from there it all comes rushing back. Spencer mentioned during a case once that scent creates the most powerful memory reaction out of all our senses-- and I believe it.

DC smells like humidity and rain-slicked streets, Montana like dust. even the jet has a particular one that I don't associate with anything right now, but I know I will in the future. like I'm standing in the formation of a memory.

half-baked.

...

we've got the hoods of our raincoats up as we make our way into the office of our latest victim. Morgan holds the door and I wander in, staring up at the enormous glass walls of the place. a stray droplet falls from the hood of my jacket and onto my nose, rolling down the bridge and causing me to sniffle.

her boss is surprisingly dismissive of us when we get to his office, reluctantly getting off a phone call and giving me something of a dead-fish handshake. as we take a seat at his desk, I can smell the overbearing stench of his expensive cologne.

he's got exactly the kind of look that I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole: taut, judgmental face with a stiff mustache and slicked-back black hair that honestly is probably dyed. his eyes linger on me for a bit longer than I appreciate, but I clear my throat and try to brush off the discomfort.

Winona's body was found in a ditch off the side of a highway, dumped like trash. based on the ME report, she was alive when he threw her in, but died shortly after from her wounds. the whole thing is gruesome and as her employer notes her tendency to daydream and occasional tardiness, I want to reach across the table to smack him.

Morgan is able to keep his cool better than I can, nodding. I know it's important to know her behaviors in order to build our profile, but I still don't like the way this guy is talking about her.

"she wasn't really the strongest employee we've got, but she was nice enough around the office." he shrugs. I notice the gold wedding band that glints on his ring finger, the way he leans back in his swivel chair. he's got evaluative eyes.

by the time we're done, I'm practically flying out the door of his office and hurrying to the elevator. we got what we needed to know from him, if not through a somewhat convoluted method.

"nice guy." I note sarcastically after punching the down button. Morgan tucks his hands into his jeans pockets and looks at our warped reflections in the elevator doors.

"we talk to a lot of people like that. you get used to it."

"didn't seem too concerned about her at all."

"I don't think guys like that are concerned about much more than themselves."

"you should have mentioned a tax evasion investigation happening around here," I smirk. "that would probably put the fear of God into him."

Morgan chuckles and looks over at me. it would be unprofessional to fist bump with so many people around, although the smile we share is definitely a great equivalent.

as we pack into the metal box with a bunch of employees, they look at us curiously. the enormous FBI label on the back of our jackets probably doesn't help, but I pretend to look like I know what I'm doing as we step out into the lobby.

in all reality, faking it until I make it is the only thing I know how to do.

...

the late night cravings come as a surprise as I stand over a map of Portland. my eyes are starting to cross from staring at all the minuscule details for so long, and my fingers are twitching from a mixture of hunger and overloaded caffeine.

we were supposed to go to bed about two hours ago, but I know for a fact that I'm not the only one sitting in my motel room with open files and a determined expression. I do happen to be the only person rooming alone, however, and the silence has been helpful.

Reid's been working on a geographic profile, but there's something missing. I'm not sure what it is. all I know is that if I don't figure it out soon, it's going to eat away at me. based on his activity patterns, there are only a few more days before this guy abducts another woman.

except now I'm just thinking about how much time we don't have, and that sort of sends me into a spiral, too. I'm prepared to always be running against a clock for this job, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm going to lose it if I stare at any more tiny lines indicating roads or side streets or whatever else demands attention.

I need to get out of my head.

before taking time to really consider anything else, I grab my phone and look up pizza places nearby. what I need right now is some sustenance and tv-- or at least something to distract me enough to recharge.

I change into my pjs and wash my face while I wait for the delivery person to arrive, try to ease the day out of my bones. there used to be a whole process for me after work every day, where I'd shut off my brain. The Real Housewives of Atlanta provided ample help for this, along with fuzzy socks and glasses of red wine. I can make do with this.

once the pizza guy comes and I pay for my food, I don't even make way to my room; instead, I go to the person I know who needs this more than I do.

"Clea?" Spencer rubs his eyes as he swings open the door, glasses held in the other hand.

"hi." I smile brightly.

"what are you doing here?" his soft tone and the dim light from a motel lamp in the corner tells me that Morgan is asleep right now in the other bed.

in response to his question, I hold up the box of pizza with a grin. his eyes widen.

"I can't eat all this alone." definitely a lie, but saying that he needs to take a break probably wouldn't sway him enough.

for a second, Spencer seems to debate this in his head. when he runs a shaky hand through his hair, I roll my eyes. "it's pizza, dude. not a wedding proposal. you can go back to the case in twenty minutes."

he nods this time and looks up at me as I turn and start toward my room. closing the door gently behind him, I don't miss the way he increases his pace a little to catch up with me.

"did you get mushrooms?" he asks. I throw him a disgusted look before realizing what he's talking about and breaking into a grin.

"you remembered!" I reference my hatred of the fungus. Spencer smiles with pride, turns his gaze to the carpeted floors. I unlock the door and let us in.

"of course I remember," he snorts. "it's hard to forget."

I giggle at the way he immediately uses the sink to wash his hands, and I join him after setting the box on the bed.

"favorite soap scent?" I ask absently. suds cover my fingers as he rinses the water from his. normally, this isn't a question I'd ask, but Spencer seems like he would have a response.

"you know, I really enjoy anything fresh-smelling," he thinks about it. "like waterfall smell."

"I like those, too."

"what's your favorite?"

"there's this brand that I love that specializes in antibacterial soaps, and they have a lavender one that literally makes me ascend." I laugh. Spencer is drying his hands with a folded towel and his face lights up.

"Ravi's Organics?" he suggests. my heart leaps with recognition.

"yes! oh my god, have you used their cracked cinnamon one?"

"I have the hand sanitizer in my bag." Reid's eyes are so pretty. they sparkle with a hazel color, almost chocolatey in the cheap motel light.

"they have a hand sanitizer for it?" my jaw drops. he nods and I shake my head slowly. we walk over to the bed to eat the pizza. he seems hesitant, though, and pauses.

it takes me a second to remember that Spencer has different boundaries and is just kind of awkward in general. even though there's no obvious tension between us, I don't want to make him uncomfortable, so I plop down on the floor.

"you like Ravi's Organics." he states it back to himself more than to me, and as I pop open the box to reveal a beautiful pepperoni pizza, I nod vigorously.

"yeah, it's actually kind of a funny story," we start to dig in immediately. I lift an enormous slice to my lips and bite into the perfection. it's so good. "when I was little, my parents used to call me Rascal."

"Rascal?" he laughs through a bite of food.

"like the raccoon? from that book?" it's a kid's story.

"why?" he snorts. I take a second to chew before replying.

"I just get really overwhelmed by certain sensory things-- like, I hate being sticky or having any kind of weird texture on my hands. so whenever we went out to eat or anything, I would always sit on the outside of the booth so I could run to the bathroom and wash my hands as I pleased." I explain all of this with a slight frown on my face. it's true, I've just never really thought about it.

"I don't like sticky stuff, either." he offers.

"yeah, it got pretty bad. but I guess I just grew out of it. I'm not sure when." I pluck a piece of pepperoni off the top and slide it into my mouth.

Spencer takes in this information for a second while he eats, and I'm momentarily worried that I've overshared. he came for some food and now I've served up a weird childhood memory to accompany it.

but then he does something funny and altogether endearing.

"actually, raccoons are very cleanly creatures, despite their dietary habits." he tells me.

frankly, it makes me feel better than anything else that he could have said. "fastidious little things, right?"

"exactly." he chuckles. his shoulders are hunched, elbows leaning on his knees.

"fix your posture." I say gently, noticing the way his spine curves abysmally when he's sitting across from me. his cheeks turn a pretty pink, but he follows directions.

"is it that bad?" he's a bit embarrassed. immediately, I soften and do what comes easily, making a joke.

"if you don't work on it, you're gonna be living in a French cathedral by the age of thirty."

Spencer snorts-- genuinely almost chokes on his food-- and looks at me with his almost childlike eyes. there's something in them that I can't decipher at all, almost so obvious that it completely goes over my head.

"that was mean." he's still trying to recover from the onset of giggles, and I lean forward to grab another slice, suppressing a proud grin myself.

"your future straight-backed self will thank me."

"I'll remember that." he nods dutifully.

"I'm sure you will."

we share a secretive smile before I bite into my pizza and launch into a different subject. the more I learn about Spencer, the more I want to know. I feel like there are things beneath every new surface that would be fascinating to understand.

"what's it like having an eidetic memory?"

he frowns like he isn't sure how to answer. I thought he'd already have something locked and loaded, a prepared response for a question he definitely gets frequently. when he opens his mouth, I find myself hanging on every word. "it's... interesting."

"blessing or a curse?"

"both."

"would you ever give it up if given the option?" I narrow my eyes a bit. I'm especially curious about this.

"no." this is delivered with certainty. for a second, I stare at him with about a million more questions in my head. of course, they're completely out-of-bounds and way too personal, but they're still there.

"hm." I say instead. as usual, delivering thrilling commentary at every turn.

Spencer peeks at me over his pizza for a second, seeming to want to say something else, but decides against it. our eyes meet; I'm not sure what it is, maybe a silent agreement or something else that's unspoken, but we decide not to press further on either end.

whatever he's got tucked away in that big brain of his, he's not ready to talk about it with anyone-- much less a new colleague in a dumpy motel. there's a time and place for certain things, and boundaries to respect.

I change the subject before he can make some lame excuse to leave. for some reason, I just don't want him to leave me here in this room.

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed for this series): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm

[xjoonchildx]

Just my two cents in the recent Tumblr plus discussion… but idk how I feel about requiring payment specifically for fanfics. Whether it’s about existing people, like BTS or whomever, or even fictional characters. Like, these real-life people or characters from my favorite books/shows/movies don’t belong to me. It doesn’t feel right profiting off of them. I’ll pay all day for content with original characters and themes…100% support!!There are some fantastic writers on this platform and they deserve all the rewards and recognition that come from sharing their amazing stories. I just don’t know if it’s ethical to accept money for a fic about a character that I didn’t 100% create and is based on someone else’s character or a living, breathing person who is walking around somewhere irl. Ya know? Idk. Fanfic writers work hard too, I know they do, and their content provides us with something truly special that we can’t get otherwise. So I get it but it definitely sparks a conversation on boundaries in online content. For me anyway. Sorry if this upsets anyone out there, I promise I’m not being malicious or passive about how hard fanfic authors work on their stories. I mean, your Guarded AU is a perfect example of some exceptionally crafted content - it’s a whole ass universe with perfectly woven storylines and plenty of OCs, and we know you work your ass off…and we are grateful for each and every sentence you decide to share with us! ❤️

look, i think you make some really interesting, accurate, important points here. a lot of writers (clearly not in this fandom, for the most part) write fiction based almost entirely on someone else's idea and/or characters. i'm sure that plays a lot into the legal issues surrounding making money on that work.

but to be honest, i don't really know how or if that legality plays into stories written about real, existing people. i'm not an attorney and my legal knowledge is cobbled together from like six seasons of law and order.

the truth is that if i ever wanted to turn guarded into an actual book (which damn, i really would like to if i could ever get my life together), i would have to change a lot of the premise about who and what the characters are for ... a lot of different reasons. only one of which is that the archtypes i had in mind when i wrote them are based on seven korean pop stars 🤣🤣🤣

[darkpoisonouslove]

Riven x Musa

Ok, so I keep seeing posts everywhere that basically badmouth S8 and after seeing ten seconds of the trailer (YIKES to the animation, what’s wrong with the industry that they are making everything anime? Powerpuff Gen Z, I’m looking at you – obs: I didn’t watch it fully yet) I can see where some of the criticism is coming from but anyways…

My favorite Winx!couple EVER has always been Musa x Riven since I was kid and first watched the show (Netflix is not helping ‘cause I ship them even there).

I remember yawning at Bloom/Sky, rolling my eyes at Stella/Brandom and making a completely incredulous expression that I could literally feel forming on my face at Helia/Flora (can anyone say ‘unrealistic’?). Timmy/Tecna are a second favorite.

And why my Winx OTP are Riven x Musa followed after Timmy x Tecna? Because it reflects real life. In real life you’re not gonna stumble into people whose real and deep relationship problems are solved in twenty four minutes (not even that considering that some episodes present the “problem” half-way through said 24 minute-episode).

The breakup between Riven and Musa in S6 (spoilers everywhere after all) was one of the most mature breakups in the history of breakups with the hope for the future (yes, I’m completely ignoring S7, sue me, the whole thing was one huge filler anyways). And, after reading a lot of opinions on both ends (defending Musa/attacking Riven and defending Riven/attacking Musa) and watching the episodes in question (reuniting through reconciling) I think I can give my own analysis.

Since Musa AND Riven (individually and as couple) are my favorite characters in Winx, I think I CAN give a fairly unbiased view (hopefully).

*clears throat*

Ok, keep in mind that I’m defending BOTH of them, because I ship them too hard not to.

Musa Being OC (sometimes being called ‘brat’): C'mon, people! Musa and Tecna are OC since S4 anyways, where are the tomboy and the nerd? With the sneakers, T-shirt and comfortable-looking clothes? Noooo, now they all need neat skirts and hot pink high heels and long, glamorous hair. Do they look good? Of course, but and I would totally be less pissed if there was ANY indication on the reason for the change. Are they just maturing? Expressing themselves differently? Crowd mentality? Tune and Stella finally broke Musa down and Tecna followed soon after? Was it just to please Riven and Timmy? ANYTHING (even the 'pleasing a boy’ would at least be A reason - a ridiculous one that would piss me off, but A reason none the less), was just a sudden impulse that took?

Sure, we can talk about “character growth” until we are blue in the face, but the matter of the fact is that there was none.

The changes we see in Musa and Tecna are basically the creators making them more like the rest of the Winx (I’m including Aisha in this too, where is the sporty girl that matched the boy’s interest in extreme sports? C'mon! Even Bloom and her Girl Next Door looks are replaced with Bratz and Clueless-level of outfits).

Is anyone really going to look me in the eye and say Stella wasn’t a shallow (if friendly and good-natured) Mean Girl? She got better, but as I re-watch the show (currently in S3, meaning almost half-way through the content), Stella still worries more about her hair than anything else even while under literal fire.

More and more, Musa, Tecna and Aisha are losing their identities and what made them, IMO, the more badass Winx.

How did the two on the left went from this…

… to this:

Yeah, yeah, Musa still sings, Tecna still technobabble and Aisha is still a Warrior Princess but Aisha was the first one to go Bloom and Stella on us with Musa and then Tecna following soon after. It’s not just their clothing style, it’s the way they carried themselves too.

Right now? The only thing keeping them apart is their BF blues (different kind of blues) and some personal interests (singing, shopping, tech, the whole drama with Domino/Sparks, etc). But that’s IT, their personalities are going down the drain!

Sorry for the long-winded text, but the reason I’m expressing my disappointment at their change is because Musa’s reaction fits it. S6 we have such an AMAZING breakup (didn’t even think that was possible, WTH, right? Amazing breakup?) only for her to be mad as hell at Riven at S8? Bad writing, that has been dragging her (and the rest of the Winx) down to becoming just one unilateral, shallow character (the Specialists are also falling into that pit, what in the world did they do Helia in S8? He sounds like Thor telling about his “brave exploits” there, yikes). And continuity what? What continuity? Do they even remember how the breakup was written?

But ok, let’s put the Audience View aside for a moment and focus only on the In-Universe terms.

S6: You’ll always be my hero.

S8: What on EARTH are you doing here. 

I laughed a bit, the contrast just got to me but instead of getting mad at one or the other like most of the fandom, I laughed.

Musa followed that by saying that Riven has not maintained contact and just in that I would be beyond pissed as well and giving my support to Musa. WTH, Riven? I think that each season is more less six months to a year? Sort of? Still, zero contact for so long even after ending on amicable terms and wanting to stay friends? And he went off on his own! A text now going, “I’m not dead” would be the bare basics for Musa not to worry herself bald!

BUT then I also read comments about how this was a two-way street, why didn’t Musa call either? That’s unfortunately something that I very much doubt will ever be explained. One of those: did it or didn’t it? Musa could have called and went straight to voicemail with no signs of life from Riven or she might not have called and just expected him to call as if feminism were dead and all initiative must come from the guy (which doesn’t even fit because they parted as friends).

Since we have no info on the above, I put it on both of them. It’s not fair to say, “HE should have called!” or “Why didn’t SHE call?” because we don’t have fricking context. So the only thing we can take is: no contact.

BECAUSE I put the lack of contact on both of them, Musa’s reaction was a little too much, however, Riven shows up all smirks and leaning against a tree with his arms crossed and I would have flashbacks to S1 if it wasn’t for the animation style that made all the guys look like girls. Dude! Not the time for that kind of posture. Not saying that he should be all sheepish and rubbing his arm as if he had done something horrible (again: we don’t have context on the no contact) but a more neutral approach was warranted here. Nobody does themselves any favors with that kind of attitude no matter what how high of a horse they may be (rightly or not) riding on, if anything I would react like Musa solely on that one.

Next episode we have that Riven convinced the guys to follow the girls in some mission and Musa was angry. Again: I would be too. WTH? Yes, yes, they helped and if it wasn’t for them, the Winx would gotten seriously injured but Musa did have a point saying that this demonstrated that they had no trust in them and need their hand held, it was no sanctioned mission like on Earth after all. BUT, Riven does something that I would never expect from in S1-4: he explains, he reasons it, he puts it in all the words that he does trust Musa and co and that he only wanted to show that he’d be there for her (you know? One of the main issues in S6 that made them breakup in the first place? His inability to conciliate Specialist work with supporting his girlfriend and ultimately failing or feeling like failing in both?) and Musa still pouts, crosses her arms, and turns around. Geez. I expected that one from Stella, not Musa. I think the closest Musa has ever come to THIS was back in S2 when Jared explains that Riven was the one to recommend that he interview Musa and yada yada yada and she got mad and stomped off on the poor guy that didn’t even understand what was going on (only to immediately apologize to Jared and recognizing that it wasn’t him that she was mad at… like I said: what character growth?).

Riven then goes to show that he indeed grew when he asked for advice from Sky and Brandon (WTH, right? Can we picture that happening back in S1-3? He very grudgingly would LISTEN to UNSOLICITED advice from Nabu and Helia in S4-6). And does a very, very goofy and embarrassing show of affection. Yeah… again… I can picture Stella loving the light show with her face for IDK how many people to see but not Musa (although can we really blame the guy after the series went out of its way to make Musa all Stella-like? Clothes, attitude, the only thing missing is making Riven carry her shopping bags around and call him “Shnookums” (although the mental image is already enough for me to fall over laughing, just for the face Riven would make). Still, I have to count that one against Riven if only because (as much as the show gives only lip service to it) Musa isn’t Stella.

Riven being mind controlled (again) aside, those two are back together. And on the overall? Riven showed more growth than any other character in the show COMBINED (he is the Zuko of the show), that doesn’t go to say that he didn’t make mistakes since coming back in S8 (but that was more a guy trying to win back a girl than… betraying his friends for a pair of nice legs or… IDEK like in S1 – where, mind control or not the show itself made sure to make it clear that he had free will) or that he is now the one out of Musa’s league. I think that NOW it can actually work… if the show allows him to keep the progress, Musa is the next to see her flaws and work on them (which she showed to be able to do since S2) and put effort in the relationship. The difference between them is that Musa can actually work on herself and the relationship at the same time. That’s not me saying she is better than Riven in any way, everybody has their own pace and their own way to cope, to improve and to self-reflect.

I still root for them.

~*~

PS-IDK why, but I read posts about how Riven changed so much and posts about how all his progress disappeared and he is now back to his S1 attitude and I’m just cofused. Yeah, different of opinions and so on, but such opposite opinions on the subject of a guy whose relationship was focused on three episodes? 

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[serenedash]

I started rambling about my experience with kh and then it turned into khux and then it just turned into me rambling about Ryou and my art journey????? enjoy I guess,

it’s very long but there’s art in there :)

It’s funny to think about my kh journey as a whole tbh, I grew up watching my mom play video games, which included kh1 and 2. I wasn’t allowed to play the playstation2 we owned BUT I did have a gameboy so the first game I played was CoM (after my mom finished it ofc,) so I guess you could say I’ve always been passionate about kh “””side games””” lmao but I did fall off of kh very quickly bc again, I wasn’t allowed to play our PS2 and also I Am A Terrible Gamer I’ve Never Finished CoM I’m sorry you all had to find out like this, but then 358/2 came out when I was in middle school and!!! I didn’t care and I didn’t play idk why lol

Anyway, fast forward to high school I’m like 15 and my older sister, who HAS been keeping up with kh, has a wallpaper on her phone of roxas and ventus. And bc I haven’t kept up I say “nice roxas wallpaper” and she says “thanks but it’s roxas and ventus” and I proceeded to get so mad that I was determined to prove to her that her wallpaper was just roxas twice and then I fell down the BBS rabbit hole and suddenly I was reading about vanitas and then I’m reading the fan translations of the BBS novel and I’m crying??? I am sobbing???? and that’s how I actually got into kh for real lol we are vanitas stans before we are people,

It’s so funny how I thought I was some kh super fan, knowing all this stuff that I spent so long reading and rewatching cutscene movies, but I never once, SOMEHOW NEVER ever came across khx. It’s so absurd and bizarre I seriously have no idea how I never once encountered khx prior to khux. I suppose that has to do with the fact I wasn’t involved in the fandom? In early high school I had stepped away from fandoms as a whole and I didn’t have any interest in really posting content or interacting with fans anymore bc of how burnt out I was from a previous fandom,

but khux released! and I was so hype and excited for it! on launch day I was a senior in high school, I had ran around to every “nerd” and weeb I could find in school to ask them to join my party and fun fact about me is I have crippling social anxiety I literally refuse to start conversations irl so holy shit I was OUT HERE doing the MOST

My player just originally had my name (Matt) but everyone in my party had fun names so Ryou was born! High school was one big yugioh phase for me and ryou bakura is one of my favorite characters ever so it was just the logical name choice lol I quickly started creating Ryou, the character, as well. I was also leaving my homestuck phase and that + vanitas obsession made This character design (art circa 2016)

If y’all are familiar with my kh oc’s you might notice that keyblade now belongs to my kid Monty LOL

Anyway that got scrapped quickly for the chip and dale outfit (which is where Ryou’s trademark goggles are from <3) Goggles have been a staple of my character designs for a LONG TIME so like, it had to be done, (that’s a separate ramble about a separate oc tho)

OG Ryou was an interesting guy; he was a young party leader with this overwhelming responsibility on his shoulders bc of his status as a party leader. In his original story, he also struggled heavily with darkness, much like Terra but for Ryou it was more that the darkness was controlling him and not like a source of power like it was for Terra

A big part of early Ryou I kept, however, was the crushing awareness of loss. One of my party members (the strongest one at the time,) had left without saying a word and I was very confused and hurt. This was around the time the ephemera plot was happening so I decided to incorporate it into Ryou’s story; having him experience losing a friend to darkness since it’s so normal for wielders in Daybreak Town to just disappear, and this would unintentionally become a theme for both me and Ryou as khux friends would just randomly disappear.

I was desperate for khux at this point and I decided to watch the fan translations for khx and GOD, god, was I obsessed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the foretellers. And I’m not going off about that here bc I already did that, but I actually started entering fandom again! I did it slowly, I started on tumblr before this blog was made altho it was me sending anons to the few khux related blogs I could have lol a friend convinced me to get twitter where I got involved with the ffxv fandom, which led me to the kh fandom and eventually the khux fandom there which is what REALLY got me going on khux.

I joined discord servers, most of the servers I’m in are khux related, and from there I joined the khux oc rp (shout out to anyone there who might be reading this lol here’s some art from the beginning of the rp,)

It’s SO FUNNY how the RP influenced me so heavily. I hadn’t RP’d in YEARS, I used to have a strict no oc rp policy, but here I was? And the funny part is, I had barely developed Ryou. I had scrapped his original story and all I had was POST WAR Ryou so I literally had to reverse write him; I had only ever written him as a depressed, guilt ridden adult, but it was a fucking blast and I have such fond memories of this rp when it was active,

But anyway, this encouraged me to get more serious about art! I started drawing, writing, cosplaying, and roleplaying when I hadn’t done any of that stuff in a very long time. The first time I ever drew a background was for a deviant art khux competition actually LOL

also! I always think extremely fondly of the drawing I did of Aced in the keyblade war. It was also one of the first backgrounds I ever drew and it felt like my real starting point in the khux fandom. It got a ton of notes on here and someone wrote a tiny fic in a reblog which just made me SO HAPPY like it really felt like people were noticing me :) I was going to draw a matching Ira but!! I just never did!! One day tho, it’s on my art bucket list to redraw this along with Ira,

Aside from my personal growth, khux was great for my social life ngl, I made SO MANY friends online and got to meet a ton of people irl over the years! It’s crazy to think about all the people I now know and talk to? It honestly makes me really emotional. I’ll never forget taking the train into NYC and meeting up with discord friends. Going to conventions and talking with people about the latest khux update? Absolutely insane and those were some GOOD TIMES, if I thanked every khux friend or even just person who made an impact on me then we’d be here for a LONG TIME,

Fun fact, for my Lauriam cosplay all I needed to buy was the wig I just owned his outfit LOL also? Probably retiring that cosplay ngl people treated me like absolute garbage when I wore him and it led to a lot of confidence issues for awhile ngl. That’s probably one of the only memorable negative experiences I have with khux; it was great when khux people recognized me but for kh fans that weren’t in khux? They were FUCKING MEAN??? fuck kh fandom at large, I only care about khux fandom,

This leads me to another huge part of my experience in khux fandom: THEORIES!! I used to write SO MANY and oh my god my brain was so full all the time. It was a huge appeal for me in the fandom; I had been previously writing theory posts in the RWBY fandom and it just migrated over to khux for me lol I had done a ton of theorizing around Lauriam tbh, it was really the only reason I liked his character at all bc initially I did not care about the dandelions, anyone who wasn’t Skuld I was like “please leave Now thanks”

A funny part of khux fandom I never intended to be apart of is the MEMES, I really only started doing memes as stress relief bc college had me so busy all I had time/energy for was these quick little shit post drawings.

The first meme I made, file name “invi despair” LOL we need to get her a girlfriend smh anyway, I think in my senior year of college I did a bunch of rapid fire memes all in one month bc the stress of finals was getting so bad afdgfhdgf as far as I know my impact on this fandom will be my memes bc all I do now is enter a kh/khux server and introduce myself and I go “yeah I draw art. here’s a meme” and everyone goes OH YOU, honestly I am nothing if not a clown

I’ve talked so much idk where I’m going with this. Khux is just a good game even if the gameplay actually kind of really sucks yknow lol but it was the first game I played where I like, REALLY got into the meta and the mechanics. I used to read so much on the mechanics and watch youtube videos on which medals were worth pulling for. I was never a whale or a top player exactly, but I could rank well if I tried lol I’ve made it to the top 100 for solo rankings, my party has made it to top 10, and in pvp I’ve made top 300. I’m not the highest level in my party but FUCK do I know how to manipulate this game LOL

And with all that hard work, the strategies, the theorizing, the content I’ve made-- it’s been my life for 5 years. I’ve logged into khux almost every single day. At the end, I have logged 1820 days in khux out of 1910 days. Kinda crazy. Crazier I’ve never spent money on khux either lol the only “money” gone into it was one time my mom gave me a google play store gift card and I used it on my birthday for a VIP xemnas medal which eventually made it to regular pulls anyway but it was nice and a little treat :)

I’m not a gacha fan, I don’t care for it, so I don’t think I’ll be touching another gacha again. But for kh? This was pretty fucking awesome, even if it sucked a lot sometimes LOL It was worth it for the people I’ve met most of all I think. I would honestly be a completely different person without khux and that’s REALLY insane to think about.

[mallowstep]

What characters in Warriors would you change by personality/development? Since there are a lot of Warriors that had lost potential, which ones do you think would've turned out to be AMAZING characters if they had more care given to them?

lmao i just did the one with bad end-of-arc stuff, so this feels fitting.

which, btw, i think these are different things, altho i won't be surprised if we see some repeats

i'm also going to do my best to not include too many background characters, because that's cheating. like yeah, sure, mossyfoot could have been a fantastic character but like she has like five lines in mistystar's omen, y'know?

and as before, if you want detailed discussion of anyone, send me an ask w one or two characters n i'll ramble on à la what i did for breezepelt anon.

okay, let's go! again, i'll be going roughly chronologically

silverstream. she could have been a lot. actually, silverstream novella would be cool? that would be fun.

sandstorm. idk. i just want to see her from someone else's pov, not fireheart. is she in redtail's debt? prob not signficantly

morningflower. i have so many questions. i want answers. i love her. she's so pretty.

deadfoot. i just. i just. he's. he's just. i want. i want. so much was set up in tallstar's revenge and yet. and yet.

until we get leopardstar's honor (and maybe even after, if it's bad), leopardstar.

related, mudclaw. we did get winds of change (which i'm still reading), so that's good! but i haven't finished it yet so it doesn't exist lmao.

mistystar. like. uh. her novella is bad? it's not bad the way leafpool's wish is bad; it's just not enjoyable, imo. but she suffers so much. i want to feel her pain; i also want to mercy kill her.

stonefur! my boy.

tallpoppy.

littlecloud.

BLACKSTAR. we got blackfoot's reckoning (which btw why is it tallstar's revenge but blackfoot's reckoning what? are we getting a blackstar super edition?)

sorreltail.

BRINDLEFACE.

ferncloud! god i love her. she's perfect.

is it cheating to say squirrelflight again? she barely fits on this list but as far as i'm concerned you could never give too much care to her. she's not really on this list i just love her.

ashfoot! ASHFOOT. i do like that she came up in crowfeather's trial tho! just haven't read it.

billystorm. he was in skyclan and the stranger a lot which was good, but i still think he deserved more.

all of the sisters. they're great characters, but you can't have too much of them. okay maybe you can, but we're not even close.

GOLDENFLOWER. GOLDENFLOWER. NUFF SAID.

oh, opposite! snowfur is a really well done character. she's given exactly the right amount of weight and time, very well executed. maybe i'm biased but i think they did a good job with her.

mothwing? uh, i just can't get enough of her but also i think while mothwing's secret made me sob like a baby i think she could have gotten a whole arc and i'd still be saying mothwing but also she deserves more and no we don't count tbc bc that's not my mothwing

WILLOWSHINE. WILLOWBBY.

the oots riverclan apprentices. they make it on this list bc (a) i gave them all personalities and (b) a lot of them have fucked up allegiances. hollowflight, rushtail, troutstream, mossyfoot: i honor you in one bullet point since you're way too minor to get your own.

millie. i haven't read the greystripe graphic novel, but i do try to focus on main arc content for these lists anyway. but millie. kind of.

a moment of silence for every apprentice and queen ever killed for a plot device. swiftpaw, shrewpaw, brindleface, badgerfang, smokepaw, coriander, and more i cannot remember: this one is for you.

moth flight. no, i know she got her own super edition i just. uh. this is a lil personal but as someone with adhd, reading her super edition made me cry. n i want more from her

fuccck okay so i don't remember anything that happened in avos that wasn't violetshine (violetshine) so my avos list is gonna be bad here but. puddleshine.

larksong, or w/e sparkpelt's mate was named.

like most of the great battle casualties.

half moon!

harestar

flametail and dawnpelt.

ANOTHER GOOD ONE: NEEDLETAIL. that's the first needle's name, right? i'm sorry i'm bad with this but anyway. needletail. she was very good. she did suffer a lot because her bonus chapters which. bs can i say. i cannot afford the b&n editions i don't have space or money for physical books. very bs. but needletail.

tawnypelt.

the guardian cats!

the other needle? needleclaw? is it needleclaw? that's a bad name lmao. people complain about twigbranch but like. at least twigbranch has meaning and i think it's cute. needleclaw is just. repetitive for no reason. what, leafstar, are you naming her after sharpclaw? yeah sure i definitely believe you smh.

all of leafstar's kits.

APPLEFUR.

velvet. i loved. just. also moonkitti's velvet is adorable. but legitimately, canon velvet too could have been interesting. mostly through her relationship (i.e., connection, not necessarily romantic) to alderheart.

ALL OF THE UNNAMED KITS.

any deputy who retired or died from normal events. any. deputy.

really the thing with warriors is when you have this many characters, every character is a chance to do something interesting.

like, uh, okay. let's look at birchfall. he's a great example for what i mean here because he's. he's not quite a blank slate but you can still write just about anything and say "look, it's birchfall."

i can make him a good father who dovepaw thinks about and misses in dovefeather:

"How are you?"

"I'm good. I miss all of you."

He purrs. "We miss you too. Whitewing and Ivypaw will be thrilled to see you." He studies her. "Has RiverClan been treating you well?"

"Yeah, I've been learning a lot." She waves her tail, excited. "I even learned how to swim."

Birchfall chirps. "Really? Imagine. My daughter, swimming."

"It's not as hard as it looks," she says. "And the water is warming up."

Birchfall licks her shoulder. "I'm proud of you, you know that? It's not easy to leave your Clan for so long."

just a cute lil convo i haven't posted any wip teasers in a long time.

but that doesn't make it the only way to write him. and i know that's obvious, but like! that's my point. there's almost infinite potential in warriors. i've read fics for canon characters but you feel like you're reading ocs, not in a bad way, they just don't have any personality.

i had to sit down and do character creation strategies for trout, rush, and mossy because they just don't have a lot going for them, canonically. i could have done anything.

so uh? yeah?

as always, thank u for giving me an opportunity/excuse to ramble

<3

[gayregis]

Yes!! Let's talk ab Phillippa! She used to be my favourite sorceress when i read the books for the 1st time (mostly bc my teenage self didn't know a lot of wlw rep oof). She obv suffers somewhat from written-by-a-cishet-dude syndrome, but i like her villainy the most from the saga. I like her contrast with Yen (they are both considered talented but bitchy cold-hearted etc but Yen cares about her family and that influences her and the way she achieves her goals while Phil is the end justifies the means type) and with Vilgefortz (they want same thing from Ciri but Phil thinks she wants it for less selfishness more greater good type of reasons (still not valid) while Vilgefortz is open about doing this for himself. Also she's the evil mastermind Vilgefortz wishes he was! He's just evil, sitting in his evil castle sending around goddamn Rince out of all people, getting results more by luck than judgment...). She's Magnificent Bastard and i really hope they wont ruin her in twn by shrinking down her role or by making her SuperEvil like they did Fringilla 😔 she's cunning and power-hungry enough on her own, no need to add extra layer of immorality bc someone could forget she's a villain here. 🦇 (sorry it's 3am here and i... also want more Philippa content that's something more than people calling her a c*nt)

this ask is SO blessed i started happy stimming gfgsdfksj

yes!!!!!!!!!!! philippa to me is a really interesting character (even though she suffers from being written by a man as all the female characters in the witcher do) but she as a villain is severely overlooked. and she’s only ever addressed by the fandom in the manner that she is either a neutral character or a protagonist, which annoys me a lot, perhaps more than i tend to show, because as you said she’s really the mastermind vilgefortz fucking wishes he was. 

i love how competent the lodge seems to be, they hold meetings and discuss complicated lineage and have a whole plan marked out with spies (fringilla) and international participation. of course, things go haywire in the end, because philippa and the other sorceresses are unwilling to admit that sometimes there are things in life one is not able to exert control over, that nature is just too random to rule over, because to them, that would be a defeatist’s perspective... but they had a plan, at least, they were organized and led in a semi-democratic manner with of course philippa leading, but holding meetings in which everyone was allowed to voice their opinion and argue. it’s so much more fleshed out than vilgefortz, who was just evil for power but really vague about it and seemed to just be that kind of over-the-top tropey villain. 

i think your comparison with her to yennefer is spot-on, they both are painted as power hungry and selfish... i love that philippa is hungry for power and ambitious in politics, and yennefer doesn’t really care about politics and has always just done her own thing. their contrast also comes in what you describe, why they feel that their goals are justified. the montecalvo scene grew on me a lot especially after i listened to the audiobook version of it, because it really portrays philippa and yennefer as opposing forces. 

i guess some might take issue with the fact that philippa is gay because she’s evil in the series, especially because her whole deal is that she is willing to sacrifice the life (freedom) of a child (ciri) for political stability, as opposed to yennefer, who wants to protect her child (and husband), so it might be seen as “lesbians want to destroy the sanctity of marriage and hate children!” ... but i don’t think this was the message, to me i don’t think representation mattered sort of at all to sapkowski, so i personally don’t think of philippa as representing lesbians as a whole, i think she is just gay and that’s a coincidence. she’s not meant to be good representation anyways so it’s not a big deal to me.

and on that note, philippa as a villain was a really nice statement to me ... i mean, because usually i feel that it is the guys being evil. and there are of course the male villains of vilgefortz, bonhart, rience, emhyr, the aen elle if elves have gender, etc. etc, but philippa is a special case because she’s competent and also as a character she isn’t bogged down by “feminine issues” in her evil ... such as that one might expect a woman to be more empathetic towards a child, etc. i think it was actually kind of humanizing because it demonstrates that anyone has the ability to commit evil actions.

but in the fandom the content i see for her is either just ship (nothing horribly wrong with it, just that it’s bland and doesn’t take her character and character motivations into account at all) or fluff which outright ignores her character traits and placement within the narrative and relationships to other characters. i suppose this is somewhat the fault of tw3 for declawing her so to speak, but it’s really annoying because it’s pretty much the only philippa content that exists. like, where is the appreciation of her as a villain, a really good and smart one at that? 

and yeah, for twn, i don’t think they even casted her yet, even though they’re doing blood of elves, where she makes her character debut... yet they casted for fringilla and francesca, so i have no idea what’s going on. i think they might be replacing her with someone else (tissaia? or that new violet OC they have? or vanessa-marie OC? idk). so as always i have little faith in them but i’m sure they’ll find a way to butcher her character somehow ... 

it’s just that philippa is such a specific and kind of nuanced character, she’s really not basic in any kind of way unlike the other villains of the series kind of are. and it’s interesting to me but no one ever seems to approach her with this intent to analyze her, they only care about her appearance, romantic potential, or the fact that she got her eyes cut out in tw2 or killed radovid in tw3. 

like ok, but can we first talk about how she basically ruled redania by controlling the puppet king vizimir (even though she would never admit it and told tissaia she was lying when she called her out on it (iirc))? that’s kind of insane and demonstrates the political power mages can have in this fictional setting. and that statement tissaia makes to her in time of contempt, that she was once so proud of her as a student, but now she has nothing but contempt for her... i want to see that explored. philippa is kind of a takedown of the #girlboss trope as well and i like that

[illusionsofcontrol]

are there any tropes you wanted to stay away from with each character or the setting of danganronpa? its a pertty formulaic thing but you made it probably 10x more interesting than the usual game. maybe its because of the depth in charcters or the stakes but wh just seems more engaing than most real dr games! i love your works btw!

I'm really honored that you feel that way about my story! Thank you!

I should warn that my response is going to be somewhat critical of Danganronpa. I want to clarify that I still enjoy the games and it's perfectly fine if anyone disagrees, but these are my opinions and I feel they are important to my response.

First off, I guess I'm not sure if there's any setting tropes I mind in DR. The settings are actually pretty unique to each game and tie into the murders decently. WH obviously has a different setting, but that's more to fit the story rather than avoiding DR tropes.

There are, however, a lot of character tropes I intentionally avoided in WH:R.

Singular Buff Character Who Dies in Chapter 4

WH:R has two buff characters (formerly named Jerome and Ryan) and without going into spoilers, they may or may not have anything to do with Part 04. I don't know, this trope is just so overdone that I saw Gonta's design and instantly predicted that he'd die in Chapter 4. I thought it had to be a red herring, but no. That indeed happened just as expected. I don't want people to be able to predict deaths just by looking at a character design.

Girls Must Wear Skirts

Fun fact, there are only three female Danganronpa characters who don't wear skirts. They would be Aoi Asahina (wears shorts, much like an athletic swimmer would outside of the pool), Hiroko Hagakure (Yasuhiro's mom, wears jeans), and Ruruka Ando (Confectionary girl from DR3, wears very, very short shorts-). Unless there's someone I'm forgetting, every other DR girl wears skirts. Now, I'm aware that this is because most Japanese school uniforms require girls to wear skirts. But given how... bizarre everyone's outfits already are, do all the girls HAVE to wear skirts??? Given the weird fanservice of the games, I feel like it's more to make the girls reveal more skin/slim figure idk :/

I'm getting carried away here. Anyway, WH:R doesn't take place in a Japanese school so I made sure that the women aren't all wearing skirts. And while we're on the subject...

Sexual Fanservice

I'm not against it, but I personally feel like sexual fanservice in a Murder Mystery game (especially involving teenagers) is really uncomfortable. Every game has certain female characters designated to making fanservice moments (DR1: Aoi, DR2: Akane, Mikan, v3: Miu) (Junko for all three I guess-) (Also yes I'm aware that Mikan's fanservice is part of her character/backstory but it doesn't change the fact that the CGs are there for shameless fanservice. They could've drawn the scenes where her back was to the screen or something and conveyed the same message but they made sure to show Everything.)

There's also plenty of designs that are overly revealing; obviously anyone can wear what they want and a large chest is not inherently sexual but it's pretty clear to me that a lot of the revealing designs are for fanservice. Once again, these are mainly teenagers, and the older I get the more it unsettles me.

Anyway, I really wanted to avoid doing sexual fanservice for WH:R. Even though all characters but one are adults, it's just not something I want to write in a story like this. It's not my style.

The Rat

I mentioned this in a previous post, but I ended up avoiding the Rat Character trope. It's not that I dislike it, but I quite enjoyed having the characters all mean well (except for the Puppetmaster, of course.)

(But if I were to have a rat character in WH:R, they'd be the Super Diamond Level Griefer haha)

Resident Dumbass

Yasuhiro, Kazuichi, Kaito, and Akane come to mind (yeah the middle two aren't actually dumb but they tend to fall into this trope regardless). Having to do an entire minigame just to convince Yasuhiro that Kyoko wasn't a literal ghost comes to mind... Idk, I guess I just feel like characters like Kazuichi and Kaito are actually smarter than that but because it's "funny" they have to say illogical stuff throughout the games? Perhaps in a game with voice acting it can be a funny aside, but in a novel that kind of stuff would just slow everything down.

I don't know, it's not like everyone in WH:R is super smart, but that's a trope I tried to avoid.

Rude Characters (?)

Okay this isn't really a trope but Danganronpa tends to always have abrasive characters, but given that WH:R has a main cast of friends, it wouldn't make much sense for there to be much rudeness. I guess Ryan would be the closest to that but he still genuinely cares about the group.

This isn't a bad trope, it's just more natural to exist in Danganronpa because the characters there start off as strangers.

Conclusion

I can't really think of other tropes at the moment. Maybe if I think of more I'll reblog this. But I want to clarify that most of these "tropes" are avoided because of personal preference and differences in media, not necessarily because they're inherently bad.

This next part isn't exactly answering the ask, but I'm assuming that I get these asks from people who are interested in making their own fangans. So here are my two cents.

I've seen fangans that are made out of love for DR and I've seen fangans made out of spite and dislike for some aspects. Both reasons are valid (mine is mostly the former with a slight hint of the latter that's grown over the years). Kodaka's writing is definitely flawed; however, making fangans purely out of spite is dangerous. I don't want to name names, but there is one fangan in particular where the writer admitted to hating Danganronpa and only focused on adding what they wanted. But they neglected the most important part: having a solid story and cast.

Whether or not you love or hate Danganronpa, if you're writing a fangan, it is important to consider the many subjective reasons people are drawn to/away the series. I'm a firm believer that every story has something to teach a writer; even if the lesson is simply "I really don't like these tropes", considering why is insightful.

It mostly boils down to style, in my opinion. Danganronpa has a much different tone with its wacky characters and dialogue and scenarios, but that's Kodaka's style. My style is more grounded in reality, with each character having their own depth that comes up in the main plot and not just in Free Time Events. This is because my stories are more character-driven, and I personally dislike important character information that is sidelined to bonus content. I'm the kind of writer that never makes an OC that's not part of a story, cuz my style has every character play an important role.

(However, one can argue that in a visual novel, having more character depth in Free Time Events adds greater meaning because the player gets a special insight from choosing to interact with certain characters. In a regular novel, there isn't really that kind of interaction. Understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the media you're working with is also important.)

I think one of the biggest lessons I learned while writing WH is that forcing yourself to imitate any writer's style when trying to take inspiration is going to fall flat. It's kind of apparent in the beginning of WH, but I used to be feel like I had to follow the Danganronpa style even when I had my own desires for the story.

In reality, every writer is different and has their own quirks that they enjoy but other writers might not. There are many things I dislike about Kodaka's writing, but I know those things are definitely appealing to other people. Likewise, I know my style is not for everyone. It's fine to try and branch out if you want, but one has to recognize what one is comfortable with.

This lesson is still hard for me to absorb sometimes because I don't have much confidence in my storytelling abilities, but I'm gradually accepting that this fangan is my own. I am doing my own spin on the Danganronpa story and that's okay.

And honestly, that's what every fangan should be; a writer's own spin on the Danganronpa plot concept. So while here are the tropes I made sure to avoid, that doesn't mean other writers need to do the same. Figure out what works best for you and what YOU want to see in a Danganronpa story.

(Holy crap this was so long I'm so sorry-)