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thewritingstar · 4 years ago

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Beautiful Revelations

Pairing: Gruvia (I know its been a hot ass min)

Fandom: Fairy Tail

tags: @shellielyzabeth @be-dazzled @nostalgicxslumber @unvalley @tigerfire54

Note: It has happened. I have written 200 fanfics and idk if I should be proud or slightly scared. (feel free to skip this omg why is it so long)

I want to say thank you to everyone who has read, liked, reblogged or interacted with me in any way. I have always had a feeling that no matter what I write, I wouldn’t matter. But every comment and sweet note left made me realize that even if its just a smile or enough to make someone hit the like button, I made a small difference or added something to the fandom. Most of my fics are quick drabbles full of spelling mistakes, random thoughts and love for the characters. I know I don’t write very long stories or finish my wips (why are we surprised) but even though Im not someone people look to as a big author, each of you have made me feel special. There have been many times, this year especially that I had decided to give up writing. “Im not good enough and no one will even notice” Thats what I told myself if I decided to just back away. But every so often I would look and see that someone new or old had read my work. Every time someone reads something I wrote, I go back and read it too. I look at all the tags and see every comment and I stop and smile and remember how much joy it brought me when I first posted.

When I first started writing, I thought that I wouldn’t have a place. Yet in a very short span of time, I was welcomed with open arms and people started to tune in regularly for my fics. I had been given many nicknames such as Gruvia goddess, angst queen, satan (yes I know the fic0 and well even Star.

During my darkest moments, my mind lingered to my writing and to my internet friends. without hesitation I could message someone and feel better and be given the reassure I need. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me that people actually enjoy my writing and even me as a person.

I thank each of you for giving me a joy that was considered a luxury at one point and allowing me to write whatever I wanted and you took it with love and made me happier than I have been in years. To all the people who made art or wrote me something, it means so much to me.

Im not saying that this fic is my greatest but I think it has a special place because It shows the growth over time. 200 fics is a lot and whether or not they were all good, it doesn't matter because I did that and I can say that im proud. Im sorry for all that sappy shit but I wouldn't be where I am without you all.

-Star <3

ps: im not dying or stop writing fics im just happy lol

---

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

---

It was the nights like these that she hated most. The cold would creep through the blankets and make her shiver as her eyelids hung heavy. She could be ready to rest, let the sweet dreams guide her but instead those dark intrusive thoughts toyed with her like a fly on a freshly woven web. They would sprout out of nowhere, tangled with thorns and hold her mind hostage as it injected its sickly venomized thoughts for the night.

She always wondered how she got this far. She was one of the highest members of Phantom Lord, her abilities had rarely been matched. If she desperately craved, she could walk down the hallways and strike fear into the other members, no one could touch her. Hierarchies became a custom here. Once you made it to the top after clawing your way with blood, sweat and probably more blood, you were a god. Yet she walked in and in the next few minutes she was at the table with the master, already receiving a promise that she was special, a delicate and useful ally for the guild.

Special. What a swollen lie that turned out to be.

Maybe that's why she never bothered to search for a light, something to cure the rain. For every life she had bruised or ended, she wanted to feel the pain that followed. She needed to know the consequence of her actions, to be held accountable for ruining another family or taking something from the innocent. Instead she was celebrated.

The days turned to months and she found herself years later not knowing what anything meant anymore. Life used to be black and white. She would walk the side of the kind and good and now she was treading through a swarm of a morally gray compound.

These restless nights, she loathed them but then again, suffering was something that came naturally to her. The only person to ever knock her down was herself.

She climbed out of bed, fuzzy slippers over her feet as she walked to the bathroom. Her headache had worsened and she stared into the mirror. She had looked at herself a thousand times but… have her eyes always been that blue? No, she was tired and her vision was fuzzy, she was fine. Cold water came to her hands as she turned on the facet and splashed her face. Everything was the same as it always was. Expect for today.

Her order was simple. Defeat whoever stood in her way and make sure the Phantom Lord got Lucy Heratfilia. Why did they want some mage? She didn’t know but she was never one to second guess her orders. To go against what she was told was a waste of time, she would have been dead by the end of the day if she did. She had once believed that they accepted her with open arms, that Phantom Lord truly cared about her well being. It was a lie. A bitter sweet lie she allowed to remain in her head.

Hundreds of opponents had come before her. She was accustomed to the way of a battle and had harnessed her skill at a young age. The pure power of the rain pushed her further. She had an unlimited amount of power around her, unlike others, they would run out of fuel. She began to crave that god-like power. Allow the storm to rage on, all she had was herself and the droplets that followed. She understood she was an outcast. Love was never an option, not for someone who brought gloom everywhere.

But this afternoon, fate was a funny thing. She walked onto that rooftop, winning was the only thing on her mind, but he was there. A man who didn’t back down, a man who saw her as an equal.

Her heart began to race. It was forgien and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. She had felt attraction before but this, this was different. Something as small as a single glance had already spun her mind into a muddled mess. It would have been better if she turned around, if he didn’t engage in the fight. Then maybe she wouldn’t be thinking of him like this.

Love at first sight. That wasn’t real. No one could possibly have that happen. What could drive someone's emotion so wild that they become attached to a person in such a short time? And yet it happened. He stood there waiting for the next move and she could only gaze at him with rose colored glasses.

An enemy. A traitor. That's what she would be if she dared to let him escape. She couldn’t hestatite, she never did and now she was frozen in her spot as ice magic danced around her. Peoples magic and abilities never intrigued her, but this, this was beyond anything she had seen.

The light reflecting off of the ice as her droplets froze before her eyes was breathtaking and she hardly noticed that she was losing the battle. She never thought rain could look, dare she say, beautiful? But in this state of its frozen glory, it was all she could think about. She envied those who never had to stay in the rain, a jealousy she didn’t want to admit had festered over the years and she gave up trying to despise the element. But before her was something much more than the state she was accustomed to. Ice. The solid purity of her own and she had wondered what it would be like to hold it in her hands.

She had water locked him, pulled out all of the stops and even with that, he stood again and again. He had screamed that the water was boiling, burning his skin but never before had the water gone above warm. It was usually ice cold on the tipping point of freezing but she could feel the warmth surrounding her.

It shocked her just the same. She had heard people talk about feeling the sun kiss their skin, the warmth spreading as they walked, this was the closest she had felt to that. This warm rush of water was beyond what she had known and yet even as it tinged her hands it felt good, it felt freeing, it felt right.

It burned in a way she had craved for so long. Something other than the fridgeness she had grown used too.

She stared at her reflection in her mirror, tears brimming her eyes. How could one person she just met bring her something she had never felt before? She shut the light out in the bathroom and walked back to her bed, passing her window, she stopped and turned.

Above in the sky was the moon. A soft white glow surrounded the orb that she had never seen before. It was breathtaking. A cosmic power the normal people of the world didn’t dare to worship now became a luxury. The sky was clear and she could see the stars, she could sense them all. How could she have lived her entire life never once seeing the moon and the sun? She had been cursed to live in the rain forever.

But he-he made it stop.

When he grabbed her arm, it was like time had stopped. As if everything she had ever known was washed away and all she could see was a bright light encasing him. She was content knowing her death was coming, there was hardly a reason for her to live. Perhaps she wasn't even living, just surviving day after gloomy day.

He pulled her to safety, her back against the roof as she panted heavily. Those clouds above her moved like a curtain for a show, parting just so that she could see the enchanting mystery she had always craved.

She had never known a blue sky till then. The brightness was almost unbearable as she stared into a sky she had never known. So many emotions flooded her head but it was clear as those ice crystals that her heart was beating for him. She was his enemy, they made that clear from the start but he hadn’t hesitated to save her. He showed a mercy she had never come across.

Another tear fell as she sat on her bed.

“He saved Juvia.” She whispered to herself. A horrific thought came to her. Would she have saved him? She didn’t want to know the outcome because deep down she believed she was good. Beneath the surface of unremosle power, there was that scared little girl who never had anyone to care for her.

The amount of days she sat in that orphanage alone sewing her dolls and praying that the rain stopped one way or another, it was as if she couldn’t remember it. He had done the impossible. He showed her the sky she hadn’t seen. He had shown her kindness.

A thought came to mind as she stood and packed her things. No more would she be known as “the rain woman”. No more would gloom be her only trait. She was determined to find something much more appealing than those bowing by fear. She wanted love. She wanted that warmth of the water constantly and the feeling of the sun on her skin. She understood it now. There was a power strong than her, stronger than any wizard that surrounded the other guild.

She had vowed to be done with love. Promised herself that no man could hurt her again. She was trembling at the thought of being vulnerable once more. The only time she felt warmth was the scorching burn of a fiery rejection and words that burned like lava. It was too much for someone to handle. So she pushed it down, locked the key and threw it as far as she could. The temptation though. The idea of letting her guard down for someone, someone she barely knew? How she fantasized of that moment. She had once believed that someone of her past had done that, but they were all the same. Ashamed of the rain, the rain she caused, the pain she brought.

And after their fight when she collected herself and tried to run back towards her guild, he stopped her.

“For what it's worth I think you’re an incredible wizard. You may not want to believe that your guild is dark and bad but, Fairy Tail is always open.” He had said it with such sincerity that she wasn’t sure if it were true.

“Juvia thinks your magic is just as powerful.” She had said before he gave her a smile and turned away to go back to his other guild mates.

And here she stood, a suitcases packed in the night and a note left on the desk. This guild didn’t deserve any words. Not when they feasted on her ability. Harvested those negative emotions and almost made her fall into the deep end.

She knew what they would say. They would call her a coward. A traitor and a worthless wizard, at first it was enough to stop her. Make her stay and perhaps bring back the clouds. However what he said stuck in her mind.

“I would rather die fighting than let your guild have Lucy! She is one of us and we don’t leave anyone behind.”

Without hesitation he made it clear that every member of the guild was valued no matter how long they had been there, they were a family. If something like that would have happened, if she were threatened, her guild would let her die without a second thought.

Never again would she allow someone to have a hold over her. She spent too many years sheltered by pain and deviation to go on like that.

She grabbed her bag and closed her door.

Juvia stood in front of the door. The morning would be better to do this but it was beyond dark outside and she didn’t want her intrusive thoughts pulling her back to her old guild. Softly she knocked, maybe hoping that he wouldn’t hear it and force her back to the isolation of fear.

The open clicked open and her eyes widened slightly as a sleepy Gray leaned against the door frame, shirtless and rubbing his eyes.

“Juvia?” He blinked and watched as her cheek puffed out in red. He looked down to see that he was only in his underwear and let out a yelp as he grabbed a blanket off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“Um Juvia thought.” She paused and looked towards the ground. “Actually Juvia apologies for disturbing you.” Her back was to him and she began to walk away.

“Wait!” His hand caught hers and he pulled slightly. A jolt of warmth spread through her, burning her like a thousand suns as well as the chill of ice from his own temperature. She looked back at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Juvia, please just tell me.”

“Such kindness.” She whispered to herself. Her heart rate sped up just like it did earlier and she swallowed a breath. “Juvia was wondering…why did you save her?”

His hand dropped her as if he were shocked that she would dare question his action.

“I wasn’t going to let you die. Enemies or not, I don’t think you deserved that fate. I don’t believe that you are this evil person your guild made you out to be. To be honest when you fell, you look like you didn’t care what happened and I guess I saw myself in you.”

“You saved Juvia because you know what it's like?”

“To feel lost and hopeless I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Sometimes it's hard thinking you deserve to live, that it would be better to harbor all the pain of your past. I don’t know everything about you but that look in your eyes. I couldn’t let you go knowing that there was a brighter future ahead.”

A tear dripped from her eye. Her smile was soft as hugged her arms to her body. “You knew Juvia would join the guild.”

“Well I wouldn’t say I knew, but I was hoping that you would. If you still want to, that is.”

“Juvia would be honored.” She bowed respectfully towards him.

Gray smiled and bowed back. His eyes faced the sky looking towards the moon. “Have you ever seen it?”

“Tonight would be the first. Juvia thinks the stars are remarkable.”

“Lucy knows alot about them, I think you two would be good friends.”

Juvia shook her head as regret twisted in her stomach. “Juvia accepts your kindness and compassion but she doesn’t know if the rest will. Juvia was her rival, she understands if everyone doesn’t see her as a friend.” She frowned slightly.

A laugh came from the ice mage's mouth. “That's the thing about Fairy Tail, no matter where you come from or what your past may have held, there's always going to be a friend waiting.”

Juvia nodded. “Thank you Gray. Juvia will talk to your guild master tomorrow.”

“Like I said before. You’re an incredible wizard, you’ll be just fine.” He winked.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

She watched as he entered his house before turning around and walking towards her hotel. Her shoulders felt lighter and she held her head high for the first time. This was her step in the right direction, this was where her new life began.

Time had slowed and allowed her to pause. A beautiful revelation she never knew could exist came to mind as she just realized that she was in love.

---

She looked down at her leg in the mirror. The voices behind her had faded to the background as she became entranced with the mark of Fairy Tail.

“The blue suits you.” She turned to see Gray standing there with a smile as he was focused on her guild mark.

To say that she was grateful was an understatement. Her mask she wore like a crown had shattered. It unravels in his hands as the months went on and all that was left was the person she wanted to be. She could finally let go of her ghosts, her darkness and begin to forgive herself.

---

“What do you think?” He asked her as the white sky fell with snow.

Gray had told her of a special spot he used to go to when the first snow came. Past the forest was a clearing of grassy hills that would soon become a winter wonderland. Laid out on one of the hills was a blanket and a few lanterns.

She held her hand out and felt the tiny snowflakes collect on her hand. He sat behind her, one arm snaked around her waist while the other hand rose above hers and created a small flurry of snowflakes.

“Breathtaking.” She gushed. This was the first time she had seen snow fall. Her eyes followed the ice magic as it formed a heart and blew into the sky joining the other flurries. She turned so she could meet his eyes and his normal content face was replaced with a smile.

He leaned forward until their noses touched briefly. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He said and she only had a moment to process his words as his lips landed on hers and her eyes fluttered close.

Her hand went to his cheek as she leaned towards him, her energy matching his and all she could hear was the thumping of her heart. She would be embarrassed to say that she might have dreamt of this moment a little too much but it didn’t matter now. All she knew was that her beloved felt the same.

---

For once she was happy to hear a cry. That little whimper bubbling from the baby's mouth, her baby, she was in disbelief. Perfection was a rarity. No one was perfect, but the being with a tuft of dark blue hair and grey eyes would beg to differ. A child was never in her future. The thought came up randomly but the idea of raising a family wasn’t even a question.

During her missions in her old guild, she would walk past a family. She would see happy faces on everyone and would only be filled with envy and hatred. Disgusting was what it was. How could you love someone else when there was no love for you?

But times change. She would see others holding their child's hand and feel a warmth in her heart at how the children beamed up at their parents. She could sense the love all around them and would smile herself, hoping that it might become a reality for herself.

She would wake in the middle of the night, not from her demons but for her new reason to live. He would babble and tug at the locks of her hair and giggle when water magic danced before his young eyes.

---

It was nights like these that loved the most. The soft rays of moonlight casting shadows through her window as silk sheets wrapped around her bare form. She used to spend nights alone, only her pillow to catch her tears and now delicate fingers trail her backside as she listens to the thumping of his heart. His chest rises and falls as her own follows the rhythm. Her eyes flutter close as her tiredness grows untils it's interrupted by a cool press of lips under her ear.

A peaceful sigh leaves her lips as she tilts her head up to meet dark eyes gazing at her. Flushed cheeks was something she wore often and she lifted off of him to move further up and meet his lips with hers. He pulls her back to him, hating the emptiness between them and adores the way she shivers when his thumb traces her guild mark.

Their love was honest and raw. She had learned that nights like those in the past would haunt him as well. They would keep him up and plague his thoughts with images of death and destruction. But now, they lingered in the shadows, always there but something brighter and beautiful guarded them to peace and she focused on the way he breathed her name then the tears that dropped.

There was an overwhelming amount of happiness that she had gathered after all the years she spent in Fairy Tail. She found friendship and family bonds. Love in all forms that she cherished deeply. Her powers were seen as a gift to help others and lend a hand, not twisted into medled lies that she had spent so long untangling.

Her lips pulled from his slowly and their breaths settled between them. When she looked at Gray she found something more. She had freedom and rebirth. Forgiveness and lust wrapped into something more than love. Their bond was stronger than she could have ever dreamed and when he left kisses over her skin she wanted nothing more in life than to stay frozen in this moment.

He did the impossible. He opened a door, shined a light through her darkness and allowed her to accept the fact that she did deserve to live. She could cherish moments and keep them as her own without the threat of corruption. Her life was now her own to command and she did it with such grace and beauty that Gray couldn’t imagine her being any different.

“I love you.” He promised and there was no doubt in her mind that he meant it.

“I love you too.” She responded.

The beautiful truth was that she was finally at peace and loved herself.

---

I hope that you all enjoyed and thank you for being so lovely <3

#Gruvia #Gruvia fic #gray x Juvia #Juvia x Gray #Juvia ft #gray fullbuster #juvia loxar #fairy tail #fairy tail fic #thewritingstar

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saintqueer · 3 years ago

Note

hi <3 besides streaming only the brave, what are your favorite songs on repeat right now?

hiiii babyyy

i know this is from ages ago but you know how things have been with the project, plus i knew i wanted to actually take my time and have fun (fun being a relative term here) with this one soooo ima give you five

1. tolerate it - Taylor Swift

i've been listening to this nonstop over the last week. the melody makes me feel like i'm melting into the song. plus i just really love the reading of the song as mourning family refusing to celebrate your queerness. the line "my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" just kills me! and really hits the nail on the head with some stuff i've been processing in therapy lately. plus her vocal tone and the power of her head voice *chef's kiss*

2. I Know The End - Phoebe Bridgers

honestly i feel like i've always had this song on repeat since it came out. i think it's just an overall masterpiece of a song. it feels like three songs in one with the slow build up, fun driving down the highway part, and then chaos incarnate. i just love the imagery of middle america and apocalyptic shit. i love anything apocalyptic.

3. I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

this one just really satisfies this deep need in me for wild fun summer vibes while still being a little suicidal. basically my dream combo for a bop!

4. hope ur ok - Olivia Rodrigo

this is suchhhh a pretty song and probably the biggest reason its been on repeat is the single incomparable line: "does she know how proud i am she was created with the courage to unlearn all of their hatred."

that line brings to mind Only the Brave for me and the whole premise of our project. it crawls into my guts and sits there, allowing me to kind of acknowledge all the hatred i've unlearned after growing up in a conservative evangelical home. every time i hear her sing that line, i feel very courageous myself which makes me press repeat a lot.

5. Make You Feel My Love - Adele

goddd, this song. idk what made me start listening to this again recently. can't remember but it entered back into my current repertoire. this song makes my brain feel like its turned into a fluffy white cloud.

it's just the song of ultimate and unconditional love. it makes me think of my nieces and nephews. makes me think of my very best friends. it also makes me think of my teen years and the kind of outlook i had on life at that time.

my favorite part of the song is when she sings "i'd go hungry, i'd go black and blue, i'd go crawling down the avenue, no there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love." it just makes me-

okay i know i made that a little long and sappy but im an enneagram 4 what else can be expected?? also, seven, i was thinking i love this ask so what if we turned it into a fun little tag game!

so if you have time, let me know what five songs you've had on repeat recently other than OTB. i'll tag you back and a few other people (the otb team) so they can do it too but no pressureeee y'all @dyingstars-x @thosefookinavacados @hometothecanyonmoon @1dwoodchuck @rainboww-paradise @secretheartmp3 @herefortommo @fishandfrog and also, outside the team, @himboniall and @dependsonwhospitching

#NO pressure #only if you want to #sedan 💜💛#<- our new tag s

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curanonemu · 5 years ago

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ateez as angels

tags/warnings: slight angst, very slight violence in jongho's part (not against reader i promise), very sappy things, second-person reader, lowercase, DISCLAIMER: im sorry for making some things up jdskgfk idk angel lore.

word count: 2,733

notes: big thanks to @stray-lids for listening to me cry about this and supporting me ♡ they are spectacular go give them love tyvm now on to the post

hongjoong - ✧ dominion ✧

dominions preside over the lesser angels, regulate their duties and ensure that God's wishes are carried out.

it’s hard watching over angels, but hongjoong likes it. it may be tiring, it may just be a routine by now, but it feels equally rewarding at the end of the day, when everything is peaceful, in heaven and on earth, nothing out of place.

after all, he could have it worse; he could be a power or a guardian, and those seem much more tired than he ever feels.

being a dominion, he knows all angels, even if they’re not under his command. it’s necessary to know them all, each one of them is important to heaven, and to him as a result.

that’s exactly why it comes as a surprise when he sees one that he’s never met before. he’s on earth for once, and he’s not sure he even knows which one of his comrades you serve.

he’s about to float right over to the stranger, ask questions when he stops in his tracks.

you’re a human.

he feels the telltale rush of blood as his face warms, and he scolds himself for making such a mistake.

are you really so heavenly as to cause such a misunderstanding?

he shakes his head, looks again. it’s still the same.

you still look like the prettiest, most ethereal being he’s laid his eyes on in all the time he’s spent on earth and in heaven. you still are the prettiest.

and hongjoong feels very human when he looks at you.

he wonders if you’d feel the same, were you able to look at him. maybe not. you probably won’t be surprised; hongjoong is an angel, of course. but maybe he won’t be the prettiest being you’ve laid your eyes on.

after all, you must be in possession of a mirror. surely?

(other members under the cut!)

seonghwa - ✧ principality/ruler ✧

principalities rule over other angels and send them on missions in order to accomplish their protection role.

seonghwa has a problem.

he assigns his subordinates to take care of people. entire groups, that is.

he doesn't have to think about individuals.

he shouldn't have to.

but he does. there's one that he can't stop thinking about.

you.

you are so annoying.

he's not a guardian angel, he's a ruler, for heaven's sake. he's not your personal wingman.

(no, that's not how the word is used, is it? he wants to be more than your wingman.)

there's exasperation within him. exasperation at his desperate antics. he's above them, yet he continues to indulge in such things.

desperation. another emotion warring within him, which largely makes up his thoughts. he wants you a lot. so much that he's starting to experience other feelings, like those of nervousness, fear, and he pines.

you're making him feel human emotions, act like a little guardian instead of the ruler he is, and he is. not. happy.

he is more than happy, being the fool he is.

he's convinced you are more powerful than all of his brethren combined. isn't that the only reason why he is so smitten with you? how you have him wrapped around your finger like it's nothing, living your life like you don't know a thing about the predicament seonghwa is in. well, it's precisely because you don't.

that's why, when he needs to assign angels to protecting your town, he stations them all as far away from you as he can.

and then, happily neglecting all his obligations, duties, his very nature, he skips off to protect you himself.

and if he somehow gets to interact with you, that'll be the feather on top.

that is his goal now, come what may.

yunho - ✧ virtue ✧

virtues bring God’s blessings to earth in the form of miracles, and are associated with acts of heroism and bring courage when needed.

it hurts to watch people when they're sad. yunho doesn't like seeing crying children, crying parents, young or old. he's especially not enjoying seeing you cry.

just a while back, you'd asked for courage and now you're crying, regretting standing up to people who were - in yunho's eyes - undeserving of the importance you give them, with the pain they brought you.

"do you really care that much?" he wants to ask, but it's obvious that you do, and he can't ask you.

he'd give anything to talk to you, tell you that it's not worth it, you are so much better than the things holding you down. all he can do is watch you cry.

well. there is something he can do.

he wills a flower into existence, petals soft against his palm where the bud rests, and yunho looks back at you.

you can't see him, but you'll be able to see the flower. that's enough for him.

the window to your room is open, and he tosses the flower inside, the breeze carrying it to you.

you lift your head, looking confused before noticing the flower.

you turn it around curiously, frowning. and then you smile through your tears, and the flower's beauty pales in comparison.

you get up slowly, then go out of your room, leaving the door ajar. with the flower in your hand, you're most likely looking for some water to preserve it.

from his place outside the window, yunho allows himself to smile too.

he hopes the message reaches you.

gladiolus.

yeosang - ✧ virtue ✧

virtues bring God’s blessings to earth in the form of miracles, and are associated with acts of heroism and bring courage when needed.

you're finally done for the day, which had been so hectic, and you're exhausted and irritated and feeling absolutely dead, wishing you were for real too.

'please, just get me away from here now,' you think, hoping that any deity of the world is kind enough to listen to you.

yeosang's the one that hears you, and that's when he first meets you. he manifests himself a little ways behind you, frowning as he wonders if you're serious. he hears such prayers on the daily, and half of them are tossed out casually. he's never acted upon any, though. his job is to give people hope, not tear it away from them.

he watches you for a minute, then decides to let himself look into your soul.

it's. unexpected.

under the cover of weariness, it's bright, insanely so. it leaves him breathless for a moment; a feeling he's not familiar with because he's never needed to breathe, born an angel. but the pressure is there, a feeling welling up inside him which makes him take in much needed air.

it's the first time that he's seen such a bright soul. it makes the grace of some of his brothers pale in comparison.

you're just tired. he doesn't like that.

for now, you may want to go. but you definitely don't need to.

and yeosang will do all that he can to make sure that you stay where you are, on earth. if that means stepping out of bounds with his duties, that's fine. he will do his best to drive away the forces that plague you. it's in everyone's interest. your soul is unique, a work of beauty and he doesn't wish to see it tainted. it's only natural. he's the embodiment of miracles, your soul is a reflection.

heaven doesn't need you yet, nor does heaven need you broken beyond repair.

that's why he needs to protect you.

that's all there is to it.

san - ✧ archangel ✧

archangels are the chief angels, guardians of people and all things physical.

san is an archangel, for crying out loud. he's strong, majestic, fierce and all things big. his wings are beautiful, sharp yet soft feathers, and as him. he's not... a butterfly. he's not a tiny creature, smaller than his own little finger and wildly colourful.

but there he is, having resorted to pretending to be a butterfly of all things, just so he can solve his latest problem.

the first time had been a necessity, and that was what led to the whole mess.

he loves flowers, and he loves how many varieties earth has. it's a habit of his to turn into bugs and enjoy said gifts of nature. (it scares that baby angel mingi as well, which san finds insanely amusing despite adoring the other.)

except, the one time he turned into a butterfly and sat atop a pretty flower, you'd passed by, stopped, backtracked and stood in front of him, eyes wide.

he doesn't know if you like butterflies or not, if you're scared of them or not. your expression didn't give away any of that. it wasn't even the emotion behind your eyes that he was drawn to. it were your eyes themselves that reeled him in, left him reeling.

they're so beautiful, magnetic and all things gorgeous, and he wants you to look at him. you can't see his true form, but you can see him like this, when he's a tiny, harmless creature, and not the intimidating archangel he's meant to be. he never really understood the idea behind some of the other angels' posturing, who, like him, had once been humans that ascended to heaven. now, more than ever, he doesn't see the point of it.

he's strong, yes.

but his interest in you is stronger.

he shouldn't have to try and be a big, bad angel (not that angels are meant to be bad) and go against his heart's desires.

so he doesn't.

he lets himself enjoy your presence, flitting about you often in the hopes that you'd see him.

but you never do.

whenever he's trying to get your attention, there are other matters that you need to attend to.

it's all so well-timed he's starting to think someone's messing with him on purpose.

last month? he'd almost caught your attention before someone asked you a question, and then you just up and left without so much as a glance in his direction. last week? pretty much another distraction that hindered him from being noticed.

he doesn't like this at all.

is someone pranking him? it could be another angel. san's never been unsuccessful for this long.

should he resort to serious measures?

what was it, go big or go home?

that's it. if being a butterfly doesn't work, then he's going to be a BETTERFLY.

he's going to be the best of the best, and he'll be big, not a teeny tiny innocent pretty creature. san's going to get your attensan one way or another.

soon.

mingi - ✧ guardian angel ✧

guardian angels stay with their human throughout life, dedicated to helping them navigate and make the most of the journey.

mingi likes helping people. fellow angels, humans, and the odd demon, he's helped them all. the last was unintentional, but he doesn't regret it. the demon turned out to be nice, anyway, so mingi did nothing wrong by helping him.

but sometimes, he feels like no matter how much help he gives, it's not enough.

presently, it's not in the negative sense wherein he feels he's not enough to aid them.

what he feels right now is just. he wants to help you.

he wants to do all that he can for you, because he adores you.

you're the charge to his guardian angel; you're his charge. that means he's allowed to help you as much as he can, right?

it's normal for random notes to flutter down to the ground next to your feet, inspiration quotes calling out; it's normal for you to stumble upon a reminder in your phone to drink water. you think your friend left it. that's fine, he can be a nameless friend too. you don't need to know.

when you're sick, he'll nurse you back to health all night, make sure no wayward germs try to attack you. a 'miracle,' you call it when you wake up refreshed the next day. he's no virtue, he's no miracle-maker, but your existence itself is a miracle and he's the one who's blessed.

it reminds him of his human life, his inclination to fawn over his loved ones and living off of their appreciation.

the gratitude makes him thrive. being a guardian angel makes him happy.

he's happier being your guardian angel.

he just has one more wish, and that's to let you know just how much he loves you.

he's not sure how, but one day he'll tell you. till then, he'll stay with you like this.

wooyoung - ✧ guardian angel ✧

guardian angels stay with their human throughout life, dedicated to helping them navigate and make the most of the journey.

wooyoung doesn't like his charge.

you're clumsy, forgetful and always getting into all sorts of situations that he has to wrestle with in order to keep you intact and alive.

you get into trouble, one problem after another and he has to push it all out of your path as you go on with your life, blissfully unaware of all that he's doing.

he dislikes it.

he dislikes you.

he dislikes how he likes doing things for you which he would never want to, were it not his duty. he dislikes how you give him a purpose, how you're much better than the other human he was stuck babysitting while the human drove himself right off the virtuous path and into satan's lap.

and then at times, he dislikes how lovely you look and how whipped he is for you.

he's meant to be your guardian angel, not a loverboy stalker. but you make it so hard, because you smile at the small things - flowers, sunlight, whatever - and your laughter is like light itself; searing and precious and everything wooyoung cherishes.

you're so cute, he hates your little habits and he hates how much he loves them too. his days are full of you, your smile, your everything.

nights are spent hoping you're not plagued by demons, fighting them off if one tries to creep into your dreams.

he's tired of how you're taking over his mind, how his job to guide you has become a pastime, his favourite thing?

he's tired, and he wants to do something.

he needs to do something.

but should he? can he? can he really throw away everything just because he's found a human that make emotions well up in him?

can he disregard heaven, go against it all for a mortal who doesn't even know he exists?

the scariest thing is, as days go by and he watches you, the answer he gives himself is increasingly close to yes.

jongho - ✧ power/authority ✧

powers are the most loyal of all angels; warrior angels who fight demons.

jongho was called down to fight demons that had invested a town and were leeching off of people’s spirits.

he’s busy doing that, killing demons left and right with two fellow Powers, when one of them shouts something and gestures behind jongho. he turns around, fully intending to break a demon in half, but is faced with a human instead.

you.

your hand half-raised, as if you planned to touch him. that wouldn’t have ended well.

“are you alright?” is what he hears, and he stills, not sure how to respond. he allows himself a second to glance back at his comrades, who have almost finished off the demons in the area.

his skin itches, the feathers on his wings ruffling. everything in him is screaming to break skulls, but if he leaves there’s no knowing what the human will do. jongho can’t sense any dark aura from you, so you’re not a demon. but you still unsettle him.

you shouldn’t be able to see him. he’s an angel, just as powerful as the rest of them despite not being born as one. he’s probably more powerful than most of his brethren.

“is there a reason why you’re punching air?”

you think he’s punching the air, and not creatures from hell out to get humans. beautiful. this is what he gets for his hard work.

he’s about to open his mouth and reply, affronted, when the temperature suddenly drops and his feathers tremble. then he’s acting on instinct and slashing at the demon behind you.

face pressed close to his neck, you can’t see anything, and ideally you should be able to, but it’s as if there’s a soft curtain over your eyes preventing you from doing so. a moment later, he lets go and places you back on your feet, and you’re staring at him, wide-eyed.

eyes flitting away, he looks at a point behind you, and you turn around suspiciously. there’s nothing there, it’s all spotless, but you can’t help but feel that something had been there.

he needs to get away, you’ve not given any indication of seeing the other two powers, which means there’s probably something up with him. and he needs to fix it. you’re the first human who’s been able to see him, and he doesn’t even know if you have anything up your sleeve.

“it was a fly,” he makes an excuse, and pulls away as quickly as he can.

he absolutely ignores your look of… something and walks to the other side of a building, before teleporting back to heaven.

absently, he allows the thought to enter his mind.

it’d felt nice holding you.

well that was my first attempt at writing ateez! i hope you guys liked it ♡♡ thanks for reading!!!!!! ♡♡♡♡

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #reader #idk how else to tag this so im just gonna post #cura writes

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mysticthot · 6 years ago

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RFA x Jumins Sister!MC

idk why i have such a thirst for jumin as a big brother but here we are

also this is hella long my b

Yoosung Kim

knows who you are thru magazines and what not, but he’s never met you in person

that is until the first rfa party that Rika holds

he sees you from across the room, standing next to Jumin looking like a model and he’s shook

wow shes even prettier in person, i didnt know she was gonna be here tonight i should go talk to her, wait no she’ll think i’m a loser- OH GOD SHES LOOKING SHE PROBABLY THINKS IM A CREEP DOES MY HAIR LOOK GOOD oh shes smiling at me

thoughts running wild he doesn't know what to do so he straight up turns around and walks away

it isn't until later in the night that he actually gets to talk to you

“Hi, I’m MC. Your Yoosung right? Part of the RFA?”

he’s shook when u said hi first

you have a good conversations and he’s surprised at how easy you are to talk to and how different you are from your brother

at the end of the night you catch him before he leaves and give him your number

definitely spends the rest of the night trying to think of something cool to txt you

definitely asks Zen for help

manages to start talking to you, and suddenly your messaging each other constantly

its Yoosung were talking about, his crush on you is immediately all he can think about

but he goes out of his way to not say anything in the chatrooms cause Jumin hasn't mentioned anything so he’s not sure if Jumin knows

lowkey terrified of Jumin finding out and sending a hitman after him

he’s too shy to ask you on a date

literally everything about you screams out of his league

so imagine his surprise when you ask him to a movie

boi straight up falls out of his chair in the middle of class

ya’ll go see a movie and his soul nearly leaves his body when you lean in and give his a short peck on his lips afterwards

“I really like you Yoosung, I’ve never had a guy treat me so well.”

“I-I like you too MC.”

his soul does leave his body when Jumin enters the chatroom the next day saying nothing but his full name in all caps

poor boi is immediately apologizing and ranting about how much he likes you and how he promises to be good to you

After everything Jumin simply responds with, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Now with Jumins approval, he officially asks you to be his girlfriend which you happily say yes to

This boi loves you so much, and he is in awe everyday that you chose him

Likes to show you off, especially to his friends

Loves when you pick him up from school lookin all cute and pulling him into a tight hug

gets very jealous and protective knowing all these rich dudes are competing for your attention, but he as Jumins support and your love, so he’s happy

Zen

Vaguely aware that you exist

Has heard Jumin or Jaehee mention you a few times, but he doesn't think much of it, and he actively goes out of his way to not watch or read anything with the name ‘Han’ in it

He’s in the lobby of the C&R building waiting for Jaehee so they could go get coffee, when he sees a cute girl struggling by the closed elevator doors with arms full of papers and folders

ever the gentleman, he goes over and offers to hold some of it for you

“Excuse me miss, would you like some help with that?”

You look up at him and his breath is all but knocked out of him when he gets a full glance at your beauty

“Oh, wow thank you.”

You smile breathlessly up at him, both of you seem to be in the same trance

He snaps out of it to grab the papers from your arms, and introduces himself

Your both looking at each other with that same wide eyed look when the elevator doors open

There stands Jaehee in the middle of the love fest.

“Uh...Zen, I see you’ve met MC. Jumins sister.”

SHHOOOK

He’s so dramatic like he full on backs up hand over the heart gasping

You almost laugh at the look on his face

“Oh, so your that Zen? I’ve heard all about you.

Jaehee takes your papers from Zen and gets into the elevator with you mumbling about how she’ll be right back.

Zen almost dies when you wink and blow him a kiss as the doors close

Jaehee is interrogated by Zen through out their whole lunch

You were so cute and nice looking?? How were you related to the trust fund kid???

Gasps when he realizes that makes you a trust fund kid as well

Yet, he cant stop thinking about you and the moment you shared in the lobby

He’s such a romantic, he becomes convinced this is a Romeo and Juliet love at first sight thing

Hung around in the lobby for a bit one day hoping to meet you again, but he starting looking suspicious so he had to leave

Ends up pestering Jaehee for hours until she gives in and gives him your phone number

Very quick to send you a selfie asking if you remember him

You reply even faster

“Of course I remember you, how could I forget such a beautiful face? Oh and also Jaehee has kept me updated on how much u ask about me ;)”

He’s never been out charmed by someone before, but you have him so flustered

Quick to ask you on a date

Basically does turn into Romeo and Juliet ft. Jeahee as the Nurse (omg just realized how thats a pretty good fic idea i might right that lol)

She helps cover your tracks while your sneaking around with Zen

But Jumin is getting ever more suspicious and after many useless reports from him sending Jaehee to follow you, he sends one of his guards instead

This is all very inconvenient for him, he doesn’t like the thought of you not being able to tell him something, you’ve told each other everything always

not to mention zen has been getting on his nerves lately being strange and sappy in the chat rooms

He could never imagine the shock that filled his entire being when his guard told him he had seen you going into Zens house

Boi’s over there in an instant banging on the door

A shirtless zen opens the door, his hair messed up and a hickey growing redder by the second on his neck

Jumins pushing him up against a wall before he can even react

The slam startles you out of the bed in nothing but a sheet, only to freeze when you see the scene before you

guess you’ll die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It takes a long time to get them off each others necks

“Guys, why dont we all calm down and talk about this rationally?’

“MC, the only thing keeping me from knocking this trust fund kid out is the fact that he is your brother.”

“Zen not helping!”

Jumin all but drags you back to the car and you’re lectured the whole ride home

Then lectured some more in the pent house

Then some more before you announced you were going to bed

He was angrily pouring himself some wine when he heard your phone go off

It was Zen

He justifies his actions by saying you had betrayed his trust, and opens the message

“I’m sorry MC, I hope you’re ok. I know he wont approve, but I hope you can find away to stay with me. I will never find someone like you and even if he doesn’t understand or believe it, I love you. Call me when you can.”

Now he feels kinda bad

Then he remembers Zen’s hickey and he’s mad again

It takes him a while but he eventually allows for you and Zen to see each other freely

Feels betrayed by Jaehee

Jaehee (Speaking of betrayal lol)

She knows of you, but has never met you, as you are studying abroad

When Jumin first mentions the fact that he is going to pick you up from the airport, shes initially worried that she will have to deal with a second Jumin

And in her experience, the high class women aren’t the easiest to get along with

So imagine her surprise the next day when she is going to the penthouse to introduce herself and finds...what looks like a completely normal girl lounging in her pajamas

You smile kindly at her as Jumin, dressed in his normal suit, comes to stand beside you and she cant believe the differences

Shes pretty sure you’re showing more emotion on you face in this exact moment than Jumin has in his entire life rip lol

She introduces herself, and it shocked when you immediately pull her into a hug

“Its so nice to meet you, I’m MC.”

The way you say your name and the way your holding her hands in yours while you smile at her she just-

gay panic

Your spending the summer with Jumin, so she sees you around a lot and every time you are just as sweet to her

As time passes she begins to feel strange when she sees you

Heart racing, cheeks blushing, you know the drill

But its been so long since Jaehee has had a crush on someone, and she wasn't even sure if this was a crush

poor babe is confused af

Cause your so nice to her

And you make Jumin be nice to her

And you get her off work to hang out

But she doesn’t know if your being friendly...

One day she is going over last minute talking points with Jumin as he prepares for a gala event when you come walking out

Your dress makes you look like an angel, your hair is flowing and framing your beautiful face and- oh, there was that smile again

She nearly chocked when she saw you

gay panic intensifies

you make her feel the way zens videos do

Suddenly she’s not so confused anymore

She walked you and Jumin down to the car waiting outside and you turn to her before following your brother in

“You’re not coming with us are you?” you asked with a slight frown.

“No, it would be inappropriate for an assistant to attend such an event.” she sighed, smoothing out her work skirt, suddenly realizing how different you two really were.

You paused, looking like you might say something, but stopped yourself, telling her to have a good night before getting into the car

She watched you drive away, and wasn’t expecting to hear from you any more that night

Then her phones ringing and its you and she’s answering in a flash

You voice is shaky, asking her if she could pick you up if it wouldn't be too much trouble cause you didn't want to inconvenience her

She was in the car before you had finished the call

When she pulled around the back of the event, where you had asked to meet, she saw you standing in the dark, a look so sad it made her heart hurt

You climbed into the passenger seat, but the ride back to the penthouse was silent

It wasn't until she pulled up to the curb that you invited her upstairs

As soon as you passed the door way to the house, it was like your fake composure, one that she knew you had been raised to perfect, melted away

You sighed before dropping face first onto a couch cushion and screaming into it

Jaehee didn't know exactly what to do, so she gave your back a somewhat comforting pat until you sat up ready to tell her what was wrong

Turns out you had met a man at the gala

(her heart dropped when you said that)

But the man was an absolute dick

(So your sayin she has a chance?)

The man had been grabbing you and touching you all night, asking for dances and pressuring you to drink

The final straw was while he had dragged you into a dance, his hand lowed down before he full on groped your ass in front of everyone

You had slapped him

The gotten promptly lectured from your father

“He was acting like I was in the wrong for standing up for myself. Saying I was making a fool of the family reacting in such a way! Why aren’t the men held in such a standard that so I don’t have to act like that in the first place?!”

“I’m so sorry MC, that is truly disgusting that you had to go through that.” She pulled you into a hug, and side by side you sat on the couch, enjoying each others comfort

“Next time...I think I’d like to take you as my date...” You mumbled into her shoulder.

She froze

Didn’t know was to say

Were you friends? Were you something more???

Her questions were answered as you pulled back from the hug and placed a timid kiss on her lips

It was short, almost testing the waters for both of you

But when your eyes met, the kiss that followed was anything but timid or short

Jumin was not pleased with that he saw when he got home

His assistant and sister making out in his living room

what was his life coming to??

Not nearly as mad as you thought he would be however

He had heard what your father had said to you and rushed home to make sure you were ok

Claims he knew this whole time you weren't into guys, or at least not straight, but you think hes just trying to redeem himself from the fact that his assistant seduced his sister right under his nose

Jaehee and you go as a couple to the next gala and rock that shit

707/ Saeyoung

Obvi, this boi knows everything

As soon as he was introduced to Jumin, he did a background check, and thats how he was led to you

From then on, he is not subtle or quiet with his ‘celebrity’ crush

Basically acts towards you the way he does towards Elizabeth the 3rd

Uses you as a way to tease Jumin and get him all riled up

“omg Jumin, I saw MC’s photo in a magazine today and I swear I fell in love all over again.

“If you come near her, I will get a restraining order.”

Jumin is in no way amused

The rest of the RFA is tho

Like Yoosung, you meet Seven at the first party.

He is quick to spot you, and Jumin is even quicker to separate you from him

You, however, have no idea why your brother is being even more over protective than usual, and take the first opportunity to sneak off to the bar

Seven sees you alone for the first time and quickly turns to Yoosung, asking him how he looks before running off to you

You’re shook when in the middle of taking a drink a random redhead all bed falls into the chair next to you

“HIMYNAMESSEVENITSAPLEASURETOMEETYOU!”

“...What?”

He takes a comically large breath, lets it out, then holds his hand out for you to shake

You laugh when he bows and kissed your knuckles before introducing himself slower this time

“Sorry, I just felt like I needed to rush, your brothers gonna kill me when he sees me talking to you.”

You laugh and roll your eyes and he thinks you have the best sounding laugh he has ever heard

Good thing his only talent is getting people to laugh at him

You proceed to spend the next five minutes laughing so hard your stomach hurts and your eyes water before a large group of not only your brother, but several body guards come to interrupt

“Oh no, my sweet MC, it seems our time has been cut short, I’ll never forget the moments we spent together, no matter how brief!” he calls to you while being escorted to the other side of the room by two large men

Jumin lectures you on the dangers of talking to strange men and you remind him that the whole point of this party was to talk to people you don’t know

He forbids you from talking to Seven

“MC, he’s a sadist!”

“That just makes me want him more...”

Later that night you get a strange text, or dare I say, a mysterious message, saying your phone was being hacked

Your shook and don’t know what to do watching as the so called hacker typed before the second message popped up

Is your name wifi? Cause I really felt a connection~

Ok now your more shook

Then a third message pops up and its the cute guy from the party, and you laugh before responding

You spend the rest of the night picking up where you left off at the party

And Seven it once again, not quiet about his crush

Jumin wakes up the next morning to chatroom after chatroom all about you

Half of them are him talking mindlessly about your wedding, the other half is the rest of the members telling him to shut up

Jumin is t r i g g e r e d

His first instinct is to take your phone, since you obviously cant make good choices for yourself

But then he remembers you are an adult, and he cant take away your phone

So he goes to plan B which is threaten Seven with a restraining order, once again

Halfway through typing out a long, angry message, you skip out into the kitchen, and suddenly his anger it focused on you

“MC WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO SEVEN HES NOT GOOD FOR YOU YOU NEED TO BLOCK HIM AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER HES CRAZY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING”

“He’s so cute and sweet tho.” you pout

“Awe, thanks MC.”

Both of you look up to find Seven standing in the doorway with a bouquet of flowers

Seven is forcefully removed from the building

Jumin gives you the whole, “he’s a hacker he’s dangerous” speech, but you are stubborn

You tell him you are an adult who can make her own choices

He does the things parents do where they think they can guilt you into making the right choice

Thinks he’s won when he doesn't hear anything about you from Seven for a while

Imagine his shock when he logs into the chatroom to see a picture from the cctv of you and Seven kissing, clearly in the middle of a date along with a picture of a plastic cat ring on your ring finger

“She said yes!”

“I am going to physically hurt you.”

On the more serious side, Seven would be a little harder because of his job, so everything you guys did would have to be in secret

He would get in his moods where he thought you deserved a boyfriend who could treat you better and be seen in public with you

Don’t even get him started on how dangerous he was

But you could use your connections to help him get his life on track, and eventually get him a job at C&R

Jumin isn't happy with it, but when he accepts that Seven actually cares for you and this isn’t just some joke, he will come to terms with it

V/ JIhyun

V has known you since you were born, as him and Jumin were already friends then

Infact, he has a picture somewhere of him as a child holding you the day you got home from the hospital

Growing up with V and Jumin, was almost like having two brother

Both very protective over you

Being kids, you went through the normal phases

“Boys have cooties dont touch me!”

‘C-cooties...but MC...”

There were times when you would tease each other simply because that’s what kids do when they have crushes

His little cheeks would get all red when you and him would play games together

He liked to be the knight that saved you from the evil dragon (Jumin) and one time you very lightly pecked a kiss onto his cheek before running off and his face was red for the rest of the day

In fact you were each others first kiss

It was during a sleep over he was having with Jumin

Jumin had fallen asleep during a movie leaving you and V alone, sitting together in a blanket fort

You were playing truth or dare, but they were mostly truths to keep the game quiet and not wake anyone

“Truth or dare MC.”

“Truth.”

“...Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Your whole face went red, as did his, he had barely even worked up the courage to ask the question

“...No.” You whispered, “Have you?

“No.”

The game stopped for a moment, V was looking at while you did you best to look anywhere but at him

“Truth or dare MC?”

“...Truth.”

“Can I kiss you?”

The kiss was short and stiff and a little awkward, but it was something you both would remember for ever

And a secret you would keep from Jumin until way into your adult years

Jumin was annoyed by the whole thing

He loved his sister and all, but he didn't exactly like his best friend and sister always flirting

As you got older, the childhood crushes died down into fond memories and the occasional flirt or butterfly in the stomach

You dated a few people, he dated a few people

But there was always those times when it was just you and him alone where it seemed like something was so close to happening

But he graduated with Jumin before you did, and left to start his own life

That when he met Rika

You were happy for him truly, you were dating someone at the time as well and you wanted to see you friend be happy, he deserved it

But tragedy struck, and he was never really the same after that

You remembered her funeral, and the way he cried into your shoulder that night

You had to go through the pain of watching your dear friend loose himself, along with his eyesight

Supporting him in his time of need became your number one priority, but somewhere along the way, old feelings began to resurface

You pushed them down, deep down so you wouldn't make a fool of yourself or ruin your friendship

It took years until V would begin to see again what was right in front of him, he had been blinded by Rika for so long that he couldn’t see you

(im sorry those puns were just too good not to put in lol get it cause hes blind)

He felt guilty for his feelings, like he was betraying Rika, yet he couldn't stop himself from feeling like he did when he was a kid

Jumin, once again, was stuck between his best friend and his sister being love sick idiots, too stupid and scared to see the other one felt the same way

He’s so over it like just get married already

He decides to invite V over, fully determined to give him a talk and tell him to ask you out

Then he will invite you over so you’ll be in the same place as V

Then, Jumin will politely excuse himself for a ‘phone call’ and give them some time alone

He begins his plan in the morning, making sure you would both be coming over for dinner, then he leaves for work

Unfortunately, a meeting he had at the end of the day ended up running super late, leaving you and V alone

Plan was ruined he’s triggered

But, what he didn’t know, was that things were going along just fine between the two

You guys were sipping some wine and catching up and laughing and smiling like old times

V wanted to take a picture to capture the moment

You looked truly beautiful, framed by the night sky, cheeks flushed from the laughing and the alcohol, a smile on your face and a look in your eyes he hadn't seen, or at least hadn't recognized, since you were kids

He acted before he had the chance to stop himself, leaning forward and pressing a kiss that held in it the passion of years and years of love

You melted into it, wrapping your arms around him and he felt like he couldn’t have brought you close enough

He wanted all of you, everything he had missed out on in his lifetime of not making you his

Pulling apart, leaving you both breathless, forehead to forehead, he smiled down at you

“I’m sorry, I should have asked truth or dare first.”

jumins triggered lol

sorry if theres any mistakes im hella tired so i may have missed some in the proof read

hope u liked it

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imlostinsantacarla · 5 years ago

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Dating Alistair Would Include:

(I really liked writing this. My perception on Alistair has totally changed and he literally needs all of the love in the whole entire world, okay? I think he deffo needs more love in this fandom. Idk usually I don’t make my would include’s so soft, but he just provokes it in me haha! Enjoy reading and thanks so much to the person who requested this! - Admin Kat 🌙❣)

- Let’s be honest here, you’re the ONLY being that he really loves and enjoys the company of. You’re the only one that he actually tolerates.

- He totally makes jokes all the time about how he only tolerates you, but if he was being truthful (which he isn’t used to having to voice to others unless it’s totally pessimistic) he doesn’t just tolerate you, but loves you immensely and values your opinions, companionship, thoughts, feelings, etc.

- Boi respects you ™

- You’ve become an expert on soothing his paranoia and pessimism with your calmness and steady nature. It took a very long time, but he’s a lot better since you’ve basically become the whole light of his existence holy shit i’m sobbing

- You always understand him and the reason behind why he is the way that he is. You never judge him for it which earns you extra brownie points from him.

- Alistair melts at your touch, your voice- just basically you alright?

- At first he tried to avoid you entirely when he found out you were his mate. He had a whole plan in his head that he was just meant to spend the entirety of eternity wallowing away in a dark cave, never to be within anyone’s company (the only exception when he must feed).

- lol, then your beautiful/handsome ass came along and ruined his entire plans ™ and I swear he was mad as hell at first. Yet the energy to resist the mate pull was far too tiring for him and he gave up, very indignant to begin with.

- He confides all of his fears, hopes, dreams, etc. in you and trusts you to keep them secret. And you do so because you’re loyal to him and only him.

- You both being on the run constantly, though you manage to miraculously persuade him to stay places for much more than a couple of months at a time.

- Honestly, your heart breaks when he opens up about his back story.

- “Well, I’m not leaving so get used to it.”

- He often seems cold and aloof but he shows his love for you in more subtle ways that speak volumes to you. Can you blame him after what he’s been through?

- Saying “I love you” tends to be your job. He prefers to show you that he loves you through actions. But he does say it on rare occasions.

- When you look at him you can see his loving gaze SCREAMS I LOVE YOU MADLY AND IRREVOCABLY OKAY?

- He’s so intensely protective of you, especially when you both appear at the Cullen’s house to be witnesses for Renesmee. He wouldn’t let anyone or anything harm you. He’d never forgive himself okay?

- Is angsty™ 25/7.

- Boi get’s jealous and sulky FAST.

- Gives you the silent treatment but can’t stay mad at you for long.

- He’s a total sucker for your puppy eyes. You get pretty much anything you want, with exceptions.

- Very romantic behind closed doors and isn’t a big fan of PDA. He believes that others don’t have the right to see such intimacy, as it’s reserved for just the pair of you.

- Arguments only happen when you go against his ways of being or when he lays down the law about not being reckless because he’s so paranoid of losing you. These arguments can last for years and Alistair is very stubborn.

- He has a fascination with skimming his fingertips lightly over your skin. The shiver that erupts from your being is delicious to him and he can’t help but smugly simper in response.

- Alistair loves to plant kisses on your bare shoulders, the rear of your neck, forehead, hands, knuckles, just all over okay? He lavishes you in his love behind closed doors.

- You love running your fingers through his hair. At first he would flinch at your contact - and sometimes he does when he’s in such deep thought - but he’s learnt to lean and melt into your touch. Now he cannot go without it.

- Everyone always commenting on how you’ve brought a better side out of him. He doesn’t necessarily socialize a whole ton, but he’ll be present in a room full of vampires for more than two minutes. So it’s progress.

- You’re respectful of him also, never attempting to change him. You love him for who he is and that’s all that matters really.

- You’re very protective of him. Probably would kill the whole damn Volturi or anyone who came near him and caused him any discomfort.

- I think that it’s a genuine compliment when others grin at you about how Alistair isn’t always wallowing in the dark attic any more, talking to spiders and all.

- Alistair always has his eyes on you. If you ever manage to be out of his sight, he genuinely grows intensely panicked. I think that he’d definitely have separation anxiety when you both are apart. He uses his tracking ability to find you.

- Will envelope you in a bone crushing hug, which startles everyone because he’s always so reserved in front of them with you. You’d literally just gone hunting with Bella because you’re curious about her diet for Christ sake!

- Totally see him as being the little spoon when you both cuddle. He’s got to be held and he’s just a spoiled brat for it.

- Always jokes about how you’re such a brat because you always get what you want.

- I think you both comically bicker a lot, but it usually turns playful and lighthearted. He’s never like that with anyone else.

- You never get jealous tbh. He never shows interest in anyone else other than you; it’s only when others show interest in him that makes you start throwing hands.

- Running your hands through one another’s hair. Y’all m e l t !

- Soft love!

- Alistair isn’t very experienced in the bedroom so you often take the reigns.

- You both prefer to make long sensual love, as opposed to an exhilarating quickie. It’s more meaningful that way to you both.

- Besides, he worships you nonstop and vice versa.

- But let’s be honest, he’s a tease without meaning to be.

- Get’s a thrill out of when you end up begging for him.

- You just literally get him off okay?

- Alistair literally drags you away from staying with the Cullens. He knows what the Volturi is capable of and will not allow you to succumb to being murdered by them or discovered by them either.

- You both softly tease one another.

- His s m i r k is to die for okay? He knows what it does to you!

- Definitely having the mainstream diet of a vampire. He’s not a fan of the vegetarianism.

- Mumbling tender sweet nothings.

- “I love you more than you may ever know, my love.”

- “You are the light of my eternal life.”

- “There’s no questioning what I would do for you, love.”

- He’s sappy asf okay? You love it.

- “Don’t leave.”

- “I’m never going anywhere.”

- “Promise me you’ll be here forever.”

- “I promise, my love.”

- Romantic as hell but not in the typical modern sense.

- Definitely old school and wants to be married before y’all do the frick frack.

- You’re so fascinated about everything with him, especially his gift.

- He’s so breath taken by you that sometimes he just cannot focus on anything else. Your gift is remarkable and sometimes he feels inferior to you, but you assure him that his gift is just as wonderfully useful and brilliant.

- Supporting one another through thick and thin. He honestly needs someone like you.

- My heart IM SCREAMINING

If you enjoyed, please like, reblog and follow for more! ❣

Where I found the gif/gif credit: ❣

#alistair #request #alistair imagines #imagine #imagines #twilight #twilight saga #twilight imagines #twilight saga imagines #twilight alistair imagines #twilight alisitair would includes #twilight saga alistair #twilight saga alistair imagines #twilight saga alistair would includes #hope you enjoy hun #admin kat

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hyunarkarchive · 6 years ago

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oh my stress;;

“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.”

knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.

i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile.

not even 10 minutes later

oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.

its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.

this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.

however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk

hyunark:

my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.

jihoonrk:

jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.

yonghyunrk:

ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.

quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;

i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.

jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops.

but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.

now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33

ABBIE - @seungcheolrk & @rkwon & @rkgwen - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅

HUNNIE - @yutark & @rksunwoo & @rkseokwoo - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you

LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;; minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.

JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha

CLARA - @rkwendy & @rkjohnny - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?

SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon & @rkgray- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh? brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!

SACHA - @rkrose & @rkkyungri - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!!

ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!

CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!

a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;; special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho, thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;

a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then; a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;; a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;

thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!

#;wordcount/2715 #rkfifth #[[ im an emotional ball of sap rn #[[ thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

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paradoxidolatry · 6 years ago

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Brotherly Love

@birdhole , @beatconductor a lil bit

TG: hey TG: sup

TT: Hey. TT: Not much. Lunch break at work. TT: Sup?

TG: oh thats sweet TG: sucks theres no free pizza in it when you work as a cop huh TG: i guess its overall kind of a step up from the pizza gig tho

TT: Right? Free donuts though. TT: But nah, yeah, not so bad. TT: Didn't get a chance to tell you about it but I figure Dave or whoever's already spilled those beans. TT: Kinda weird, right?

TG: yeah dave told me TG: donuts just like a real cop huh TG: still cant quite wrap my head around this cop thing tbh TG: i can see you working as a LOT of things but a cop? thats wild

TT: Yeah. TT: I mean, I figured. Got all that military experience, right? TT: But I didn't want to go back to the military. TT: Plus, working as a cop is an equal mix of 'keeps me active' and 'allows me to work around certain roadblocks in regards to the acquisitions business', so it was a good compromise. TT: Better than fast food and skin flicks again, at any rate.

TG: i mean i guess that makes logical sense n all TG: still fucking wild as shit to me TG: guess you can still wear a uniform even its obviously not as sweet as the fast food ones

TT: Yeah, I really miss that old greasy apron. TT: But what can you do?

TG: the grease just made your eyes pop in that special way ykno TG: chicks love it

TT: They fuckin do, don't they? TT: But somethin tells me you didn't message me to talk about the chicks missing my pizza funk.

TG: you sure about that? its a pretty great topic you could write a book on it become rich quick with your pick up tips

TT: Hey, I'm already on chapter 7: the Sausage Party. TT: But really though. TT: What's up, boss?

TG: nothing TG: i was just TG: thinking about you is all

> Heart, squeeze. TT: That right? TT: Cool, cool. TT: Was thinking about you earlier too, actually.

TG: oh? any reason or

[Dave txt @ bro] im watching u [Dave txt @ bro] > that chicken image

TT: Just, y'know. TT: Was outside on a smoke break and I saw a couple of pigeons hanging out, eating some sandwich or some shit on the sidewalk and like. TT: Got me thinking about you, and like. TT: I spent the past 13 years thing you're dead or some shit, and now you're alive and it's. TT: Just fuckin buck wild. TT: Pardon me for sound fucking sappy but it's kind of like a dream come true.

[TT > Dave: I'm behaving, dad.]

TG: ...am i a pigeon now? tho i do admit i would eat that floor sandwich(edited) TG: yeah its...its fucking wild huh? TG: kinda thought id never see you again even after TG: i got away and shit TG: idk why not like you up and died but? after looking for you and you werent there i dunno i guess TG: i thought you just TG: werent going to come back TG: ...you didnt even see my wings yet you dont get to relate me to birds just yet dude

TT: I mean, I saw them in a picture. TT: One of you and Dave and a bunch of trolls and some old dude in front of a candy cane dildo? TT: But also you post about birds and shit all the time, so I figured that was sort of your Thing now. TT: And ... well. I dunno. TT: Almost didn't. TT: I was just gonna stay on Earth, maybe pop in to visit every so often. TT: But then all that shit happened and Dave wasn't answering my messages, so I thought he was dead too, and...well. TT: I guess I'm, uh... grateful to the apocalypse for. I guess bringing you back to me? TT: Well, no. TT: But like, at least letting me know you're alive.

TG: oh...yeah thats TG: thats my sisters actually and uh..shit what even is grig? grandpa i guess TG: already know mr d after all TG: i mean... im not sure how i feel yet TG: i guess im sorta glad because TG: i mean it has been my embarrassing dream to play family with you again for a while TG: i want to be a family again TG: a lot TG: its just TG: hard

TT: Sisters, huh? Well damn, you got the whole family package with these folks, huh? TT: Nice. How long you been with them? TT: Yeah, I figured. TT: I didn't, and don't, make it easy. I know. TT: A lot easier when you were a baby, even if our folks were shit, just cuz, y'know. TT: Everything hadn'tt happened yet. TT: Hadn't started to completely fuckin lose my mind and treat you like dogshit. TT: But I mean. I dunno. TT: I'm not gonna force you or nothin. TT: But if you ever wanted to come backto the apartment and chill for a day, see how you feel about it? TT: That'd be uh. TT: That'd be really nice.

TG: 3 years TG: as long as ive been TG: away from scratch... TG: i..yeah i guess maybe TG: can you even handle seeing me get gay with dave tho

TT: God. You were with Scratch that whole fuckin time? TT: Fuckin sonnuvabitch refused to tell me what he did with you. TT: Anyway. TT: Handling y'all and your homogay is a small price to pay at the end of the day. TT: Even if it's still. TT: Kinda really weird from my perspective. TT: But I respect y'all and he takes good care of you, so I can't complain too much, right?

TG: ...yeah like ten years TG: kinda fucked up huh TG: ill..ill think about it TG: okay so im gonna be real with you here for a sec okay TG: i TG: messaged you because i was talking to dave and i realized i missed you and TG: that i TG: kindawantahugiguess

TT: ...Yeah? TT: I can do a hug, yeah. TT: Where are you? I can meet you, if you wanna.

TG: ...workin TG: at [coords] TG: dont arrest me mr officer these drugs are prescription

TT: I'll leave the cuffs in the car. TT: What happens off-duty stays off-duty, though, so. TT: See you in five.

TG: kay > Try not to freak out. Freak out anyways.

> Pull up by the curb a short walk away and park. > Look, you even pay for the parking meter and everything. > Step out of the car in your full uniform and approach Sock, one hand in your pocket, the other raised in a wave hello.

> Oh god, he really fucking is a god damn cop. That's so damn weird. God. > Not as weird as randomly meeting up with him for a hug though. Damn it that was the dumbest idea. > You wave back, trying hard to look cool and not like you are dying on the inside and failing miserably.

> You stride up alongside him and... ...well, now what, actually. > Neither of you are very good at this kind of planning, are you. > Damnit, Striders. "Hey." > Now just to... > ... > Open your arms up? > Yeah. That's how hugs happen.

> Oh god, he's going right for it.Oh god. Not even small talk or anything really bro? > Maybe that's better anyways because god know you don't know what to say. "Hey." > You take a deep breath and you...Go for the fucking hug. Squeeze that big bro tight.

> Aww shit here it comes and here he is. All up and hugging you. > Actually, that's uh. > That's real nice. > You wrap your arms around him and pull him in for a good, tight hug. > It's probably not the most comfortable thing, what with your radio strapped onto your chest and name plates aand shit, but. > At least for you? This is a fucking good hug. > (Don't you dare tear up in public.)

> You don't really care about the cofort level of this, it's something you've been craving for 13 years now, a little radio isn't going to stop you from enjoying it. > It's nice. It's familiar, like all the good parts of Bro you've been missing wrapped up for you in one big huggable form. Easy to forget all the shit for a moment. > But the moment does end and when you pull away you have to wipe at you eyes like an idiot. "Uh...Th-thanks."

> Aww, shit goddamn. He's teaaring up too under those glasses. > You swipe one knuckle under your shades, and you take a steaadying breath. "Hey, yeah, no problem." > Breathe easy, Strider. You glance up for a moment as you see a fatass snowflake come drifting down, then you look to Sock again. "Hey, you wanna maybe grab some lunch with me? Haven't eaten yet and it's still my break, so."

> Well at least you are both sappy motherfuckers now. > Oh. You didn't expect that. You think about what Dave told you earlier "Stay in control" and promptly decide to fuck that advice because shit. You are already here. You already went for it like an idiot. "Yeah sure. Gonna have Donuts like a proper cop?" > You make such a face at the snow. Ugh, you didn't really prepare for that kinda weather, fuck.

> You snort a laugh and give your flat stomach a pat. "Gotta work on that signature cop gut, don't I? C'mon." > You gesture behind you with a jerk of your thumb. "Hop in up front. You can pick the place."

"Hell yeah you do. You look like a fake ass striper cop dude." > You get into the car and immediately get the seatbelt. Doesn't feel safe otherwise. You don't really like cars still but you can't pin point why. It's just a weird personality quirk yeah? But you are used to being in one at this point of your life. > Just drive carefully. Please.

> You hop in and buckle up too, both pleased and a litttle saddened that you didn't even need to remind Sock to put on his seatbelt. > Poor kid. > Luckily, you are an impeccably safe driver, and the drive to Wherever is smooth and uneventful.

> Old habits die hard. > You feel kind of awkward in the car with him, it's too silent for our tastes. > You get out of the car at whatever this amazing food place he's taking you is. Fingers crossed for fast food- "Y'know kinda funny. Always figured my first frive in a cop car would be because I'm getting arrested."

> You snort a laugh. It's Sock's old favorite pizza place. > God you hope he still likes this shit. > Also this wasn't a Pizza Pimp before, was it? It was Gino's-- > Wait. > Ugh, well, maybe Dave's not at work. "If you're planning on getting arrested, you're doing this pushing thing wrong, kid."(edited)

> Oh the Pizza Pimp. Fucking score. Maybe Dave is there, that would be rad. "I didn't say I was, I said I didn't think I'd ride a cop car otherwise. Your hearing getting bad?" > You immediately freeze after saying that. Oh man, actually sassing Bro though? Please don't hit me.

> Dave is unfortunately not there, but he sure would love to.

> You catch that freeze, and you... > You snort a little, before pointing to your ears. "Too many concerts and phat-ass beats. Knew I shouldn't have gotten all up and personal with those speakers. Who knew the grown-ups were right about that?" > You smile, and it's a little awkward cuz you sure as hell have never been the smiling type, before you hold open the door for him. "C'mon, before we freeze our asses off."

> Oh. Okay. It's cool. It's chill. In a quite literal sense even so you get your silly ass inside. > A smile though? You haven't seen your brother smile in...far longer than you haven't seen him for sure. > That little scare knocked the speech right out of you though so you just awkwardly sit down at the next best table, suddenly really not sure how good of an idea this was.

> You take a seat opposite him, and when the server approaches, you order yourself a water instead of a soda. > Who are you, even. > You glance over the menu, humming softly. Some of these item names... fitting for a place called Pizza Pimp. "You wanna split one, or do individuals, or?"

> Who is he indeed. You order a black coffee instead of apple juice though, so maybe the traditional Strider beverages are just staying outside today. "Uhhh..Not super hungry honestly I don't mind sharing one." > You haven't been able to eat a whole pizza at once in a while but you don't say that.

"Alright. We'll split a medium and you can take the rest home if you want." > You let him pick the toppings too. This really is a strange Strider day.

> The strangest. Do they have nuggets as topping because you want that.

> They might have like, baked chicken, which is kinda like nuggets and also? Is Carro-approved.

> Do you think the pizza pimp doesn't have a nugget topping what kinda fool do you take Dave for.

> A big one. >:3

> LISTEN Nuggets have been added like at least two months ago. Cock Special.

> Goddamnit, Dave.

> Sock loves Dave and the Cock Special Pizza. Prepare ya taste buds Bro.(edited)

"One Cock Special with extra cock please" > Yes, this is exactly how you order.

> Oh your face. > You're so fucking proud. Dave sure is your little brother, and so too is Sock. > Bless these fucking kids.

"Hope you like it, it's my fav." > Both the pizza and you know.

> Yeah. Yeah, you know. "Sure I will." > Snort a laugh. "This sure isn't Gino's anymore, huh. You remember that place?"

"Oh yeah. Man..That's been a while. Clover gifted the place to Dave what? 2 years ago?" > Back when you were on a no homo basis. Memories.

> [Clover: nya face]

"Used to be your favorite, but maybe that's because it was free when I worked here. ...Clover?"

"I'm always a slut for free food but I still digged their shit later. Oh uh..Yeah. Little green guy? 4 of the Felt?" > Should..You now have mentioned that?

> [Dave] Oh no.

> There's this shift in your face. It's not a frown, but a certain tightening of your lips as you're hit with the full brunt of what Sock just said. "...Dave's...doing business with the Felt?"

> WHOOPSIES >Oh. Oh, oh, oh shit. You fucked up. You didn't really think about that when you said it. At all. Shit. Fuck. Damn. "Hahaha whaaaat? Noooo. Of course not! He'd never uh...Clover is just y'know his uh... Sugar daddy yeah. Cash money man, can't say no to that even from a greenie right?" > Well it's not entirely a lie. You are sweating though.

> You paw at your face and you sit back in your seat, eyebrows knit together tightly. > Looks like you're going to have to have a little talk with Dave when you get home. "...No, guess not. Desperate times and all that, right?"

"Yeah exactly! Haha..." > God this is uncomfortable. You are going to warn Dave but you already feel like shit. Fuck. "Don't...Don't hurt him okay?" > There's fear in your eyes now. Not for you but for your boyfriend, which is so much worse in your eyes.

> That snaps you Right out of your bad thought spiral and you quickly wave your hand. "Hey, no, no. Not gonna hurt him. It's chill." > There's that smile again, even if it's uneasy and a bit green around the gills. Your brother and the Felt... "Really. Just surprised he hadn't mentioned it before now."

> [Dave] GUESS WHY.

" 'kay..." > He probably hadn't mentioned it for a reason. You couldn't have known Dave wasn't supposed to do business with the Felt but you still feel like shit. It makes sense in hindsight and considering your history of course but...You just plain didn't know. > The Pizza arrives but you suddenly don't feel very hungry at all, sipping on you coffee awkwardly instead.

> You're, similarly, not hungry, but you've got to salvage this. Not telling when or if Sock will agree to see you again after this. "Sorry, I just... Y'know, getting offered a gift by those guys. If they had snatched Dave too..." > You shake your head, and sigh it off. Out with the bad. "But they didn't, and that's that. So." > You take up a slice of the pizza and you point is casually at Sock, an eyebrow quirked. "What're you out there peddling?"

> Oh. You'd really rather not follow that line of thought, yeah. Smooth topic change. "Dude, don't think I should be discussing that with a cop in a pizzeria. Mr D would murder me man."

"Hey." > You make a show of taking off your badge and laying it upside down on the table. "Off-duty, not a cop. So is it the good shit, or is it like, oregano in a dimebag being passed off as weed."

"We're still in public man." > And you don't want to piss off your Dad on top of the shit you just pulled.

"Yeah, yeah. Weren't you in public anyway?" > You chuckle a little and you point toward the kitchen area. "Your big bro used to sell shitty dimebags out of there, way back. Dealt to all the line cooks."

" Course you did." > You roll your eyes behind your shades. "What you want an inventory list? Okay I'll just tell you my favorite product aight? Kinder Überraschungseier......The surprise is Cocaine." > Huh, sure did slip into your mother tongue there. Welp..

> Okay. You actually laugh then. "You're selling Kinder Überraschungseier full of Cocaine. Shut the fuck up, seriously?" > You're nodding approvingly now. "That's a fucking great idea. Where the fuck'd you get the chocolates, though? Make them yourself?"

> That makes you feel..really proud? Huh. You can't stop the big dorky grin from spreading on your face. "Best idea I ever had, honestly. I'm importing them from earth, duh. Along with a bunch of other banned sweets and shit. Who the fuck thought peeps are illegal anyways?"

> You balk at that and you laugh again. "Peeps are illegal here-- wait, shit, right." > Smack your forehead. "That's my job to know that now. Wow, fuckin fire me now."

"Maybe I should show you my stock, just as a reminder. A fucking lot of dumb shit is. Fucking Lattes were banned man. Until the King unbanned them just for Jude which is honestly so fucking stupid. Way to play favorite, just like royalty should am I right? Not that I'm complaining, love me a big fat Latte." > Man it's...Nice to be able to make that kind of shit tier level german dick joke and to know you're gonna be understood just fine.

> You snort your water and you pull a face,but you're clearly goofing around a loving it. "Fucking nasty, dude. I don't need to hear about your love of big hot fuckin Lattes."

"Aren't you glad the prospitian monarchy digs a steaming hot Latte too? What a life that would be otherwise." > You snort yourself.

"Jesus christ. Fuckin whities, dude." > You stuff some pizza in your mouth and you talk withyour mouth full like the fat nasty trash you are. "Can you believe I have to work with them? Like what the fuck."

"The Queen gives me the creeps with her I love everyone bull. And the King seems like a huge fucking idiot so...Congrats man. Jackpot."

"Not had the chance to meet either, but this is the closest I've gotten to infiltrating the corrupt government yet. Maybe if I keep my shit up, I can finally overthrow them from the inside." > You are entirely dead seriouus.

"What's the masterplan? Shoot them in public?" > You aren't but you also don't mind the topic. Not a fan of these guys.

"Nah, nah, nothing like that. Too messy. Besides." > You gesture at the scar that runs oveer your eyes. "Never been a fan of guns."

"I know." > Hell maybe you should be grateful he ain't. Swords fucked you over bad enough. "Seems like a popular approach is all. Like historically or whatever. But I guess you gotta go for something less stale huh?"

"Of course. Flashy's the only way to be when you're taking out a corrupt system of government."

"Looking forwards to the show Bro." > Except you hope he's fucking joking.

> You totally fucking aren't. > You toss him a wink, which of course he can't see all that well behind your shades. "Hope it's a good one. You gonna eat any pizza, lil bro?"

"Oh, right." > You finally grab a piece too. "How's the Cock Special?"

> Stuff the rest of your piece into your mouth and brush the crumbs off of your fingers. "It's not big hot Latte, but it's nice and tasty all up in my mouth, so it'll do."

"I mean we can grab a Latte next time-" > Did you just say next time. Did you just imply you want to meet up like this again? Shit. > Stuff your mouth with Pizza real quick.

> Oh. > Oh... That makes yourr heart do the smiley emote. > You grin a liittle bit about that and you say, voice kinda soft, "Yeah... alright. I'd like that."

"Me too...I think." > If you don't hurt my boyfriend tonight that is, is what you think.

> Don't you worry, Sock. Not gonna hurt your boyfriend tonight. > You're not gonna be home, so Dave gets to go unhurt for another night.

> Or any other night Bro.(edited) > Or day, or ever:

> Well, at least you'll try to keep your cool when you talk to Dave about it later.

> That's a good start.

> Fuck yeah. Before you all finish up here, you nod back to the streets now lightly coat with snow. "You going back to your corner, right? You need a jacket?"

"I mean, I'll live..." > But it's pretty obvious that you don't have any especially warm clothes on you, you know like an idiot.

"Yeah, and you'll get sick, doofus." > You shrug off your jacket--it's a plain black windbreaker, while you wait for your city issue polcie jacket to come in--and you ball it up, handing it over to him. "Here."

> You open your mouth to respond but the Jacket is already in your hands. Oh. That's..Oh. > Is that what it's like to have a caring older brother? "Thanks..." > The Jacket is far too big for you and smells like Bro. It's a weird feeling to put it on. Like a hug you can wear. > Your heart is doing several emotions.

"Hey, no sweat. No good to go out there to work if you're just gonna freeze to death, yeah?" > You have the server bring you all a box for the leftovers, and you give those to him, too. > You stand from the stand and stretch. "Alright, my lunch is about over. You ready to go?

"Uh, yeah." > You are still trying to sort your feelings over all of this. It's weird. It's nice. > It's what you wanted all along. > Except for the part where you are scared about Dave. > You get up too feeling like a huge fool.

> You, very very carefully, put your hand on his back and lead him out back into the cold. > Look to him, then to your car. "Back to tthe same corner? Or you got anywhere else you need to be?"

> You tense up just a little at the touch but let it happen anyways. "Y-yeah same place." > You just get into the car quickly to cut off the awkward moment. Not without putting on your seatbelt of course.

> Always seatbelt first, kid! > You buckle in and drive him back to the street corner you found him on, putting the car into park but not getting out. "Alright. Don't get into any trouble, alright? Oh, and patrol comes past here in about 30 minutes, so be cool when they pass, yeah?"

"Oh uh..Okay. See you, I guess." > You wave an awkward goodbye, overwhelmed by a lot of conflicting emotions.

> You're about to drive off, but then you open the door and, hanging halfway out, you call to him, "Hey! Love you, Sock."

> That just leaves you starring for a moment. Did he just-? Does he? What. Can not compute. "L-Love you too Bro..." > You are not sure if he heard that with the way you mumbled that. You are not sure if you want him to or not. > It's only getting weirder. > But it also warms your birdy little heart.

> You heard it--you've actually got pretty good hearing still, despite all tthatt music and shit. > You smile and wave again before ducking back into your car and driving off.

> The patrol driving by half an hour later doesn't find a drug dealer, just a crying kid in some back alley. > This absolutely kills the bird.

#borgatabent #ic #story post #rp thread #birdhole #beatconductor #ft mentions of:#fouramour #starlight-iridescence #sunlight-magnificence

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dreamerology · 7 years ago

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anon…..…u asked for it heres 1.2k on Some of the reasons why i love minhyuk :((

oh my gosh i dont even know where to startdsjfgjdfj i guess i’ll talk abt what i was gonna talk abt the other night which is how minhyuk is literally made for the stage?????????????? he looks so Alive whenever hes on stage…..he just glows and hes so happy and ecstatic and his eyes sparkle a bit more and u can just tell how happy he is to be there!!!!!!!!! like the fancam of the rush comeback stage where he smile the whole time? GOOD SHIT!!!! u can just see how much he loves it!!! he gets like. Extra Confident when he’s performing……sometimes he just goes tf off,,,hes so dangerous he truly thrives on stage and i love it. i cant wait until they come to canada and minhyuk kills me behind a tim hortons

i cant believe im abt to expose myself but also i feel like i might have talk abt this before kskjdfhksjdhf do u wanna hear abt the worst thing thats ever happened to me and im never gonna be allowed to live it down?? so…….i associate minhyuk, the human personification of the sun, with the colour yellow ofc right….this took place like when the teasers for beautiful were dropping i went on a trip and i Cannot handle plane rides i get motion sickness nd claustrophobic mixed w the usual anxiety so its always a bad time. Anyways i had taken not only gravol (which my friend calls me a lightweight……half of one can knock me Out usually but it wasn’t working so i took a full one) but i also took ativan when i started to have a panic attack like half way through the flight…..I WAS SOOOO OUT OF IT THAT NIGHTJHSDJFH BUT so we got to the place we were staying and i go to my room and the bed sheets were yellow dsjfhdsfhj so i started texting my friend (who knows nothing abt kpop) abt how it was a sign and mh was watching over me dsfjhsdjfhkjhdfh bc clearly yellow = minhyuk. i passed out right after that i forgot everything abt that night until i got home like a week later and she brought it up and i had no memory of it djfshdjfhsjfhsdh that was months ago and she still teases me abt it i hate me dkhsdjhfkjhdfkhd

anyways minhyuk is the literal sun???? ? hes always positive and happy and just the complete opposite of me in every way tbh,,,,i just rly love that abt him like no matter how many things get him down hes able to get back up and try again and keep going and keep a positive attitude and i know ive said this before but he genuinely inspires me to be a better person…..like im such a pessimistic person but i wanna be able to be more positive and radiate warmth he Never fails to cheer me up like watching videos of him being bubbly nd happy makes me so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope hes able to feel that happiness forever he deserves every second of it!!!! i feel like it has to be tiring being that positive for that long but somehow he does it and it amazes me??? his personality was the first thing to draw me too him….its true opposites attract

AND OH MY GOD HES SO CARING!!!!! like it sorta goes w the positive attitude but hes so observant of the others nd makes sure theyre ok and he’ll make sure theyre included nd hes just a pillar of support for them!!!!!!!!!!!! i love family!!!!! i remember wonho saying he wasnt confident enough in himself and he didn’t feel comfortable unless minhyuk was next to him :((((( and half the time he wouldnt even have to say anything minhyuk would be the first to approach him and ask if he was ok nd offer comfort and :(( it just makes my heart rly warm. like he makes sure hes there for the others and makes sure theyre comfortable enough to approach him and is just there to love and support them… i love a caring man :((( reason number 3532 why minhyuk makes me want to b a better person!!!!

also i absolutely adore how goofy he is sjfhksjdfhjdsdf hes like literally a 5 yr old……what a fool i love him. one of the things in the beginning that i found rly…..endearing??? thats not the right word but i can’t rly think of it rn is that fuckigndsfjhs dolphin noise/high pitched squeal he makes when he gets rly excited sdkfhskjdfh s like its????? So Cute idk why its also hilarious and literally never fails to make me laugh but….yeah i love it hes so weird. and yeah hes smart but that boy can say some of the Dumbest shit dskfjhdkjfhksdhfjh anyways im gonna just leave it at that for now but yeah. hes so funnie he always makes me laugh and cheers me up!!!

i saved the best for last (not that this is a complete list but….i doubt anyones actually gonna read all this to begin w so….ill shut up after this but. this is my fave thing abt him i think) I COULD RLY TALK ABT THIS FOR HOURS BUT. his voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh ym god my favorite sound it the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (mayb only second to his laugh which. Dont even get me started i could write an another entire essay just on his laugh n smile) ANYWAYS HIS VOICE…it was the first one i was able to pick out when i first got into mx. its rly distinct and its just. So Calming to listen to?????? like idk if its weird but a lot of the time if im rly anxious or cant sleep i’ll just listen to some of his solo vlives…..like his voice is rly pretty and i could listen to him talk for hours. he can be so Loud sometimes but it can also b rly soft when hes not yellingjghjshdjfh and no offence but he’s rly got the prettiest singing voice too…..not 2 b biased but hes got the best voice in mx?????? god idk if its bc im fuck deep in l*ve but lately whenever one of his lines comes on it just knocks the breath out of me!!!!!!!!!! i just,,,,immediately start tearing tf up whenever i hear his voice now!!!!!!!!! hes improved so much its so crazy to hear??? like rewatching no mercy u can just Hear how much his vocals has improved…like he was good back then but now!!!!!!!! holy fuck i love a man hes so talented and hes got the most beautiful voice in the world. also in this vlive when he was just singing along or humming it after without the lyrics……i love a man my heart is so warm nd soft hes so cute :((

this isnt even half of it i didn’t talk abt his smile or his laugh!!!!!! or how cute his ears are or how much he loves mbb or how cute he looks in a hat or glasses or how humble he is or how full of love he is and how he never misses a chance to shower his members in love :(( hes so sweet i love him so big im gonna shut up and go now i cant believe i just wrote 1.2k on why i love lee minhyuk the Actual Angel instead of writing my paperdsfjdhsjfs it b like that sometimes

if u actually read all this sappy rambling………id die for u

#IM SO SORRY IF UR ON MOBILEIJFDJSHKJGHDJ #oh my god i didjnt mean for it to get this long wtf #This anon is why i dont talk abt my biases dksjfhkfjhdf i never know when to Shut Up #i was gonna do them togther but i guess ill make a seperate one for kihyun later tonight i need to go do some homwork now #💌

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huneydue · 7 years ago

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answer all of them

1. Are looks important in a relationship?- for me they aren't. I'm more attracted to the way people act towards others, their sense of humor, but I know for others physical attraction is really important. I just don't think that they are. Not for me.  2. Are relationships ever worth it?- heck yeah 3. Are you a virgin?- 🤗 4. Are you in a relationship?- nope 5. Are you in love?- I don't think I am anymore  6. Are you single this year?- I haven't been in an official relationship this year but I did have a kinda thing with someone 7. Can you commit to one person?- of course  8. Describe your crush- funny, cute, sarcastic, sappy, caring, amazing 9. Describe your perfect mate- funny, cute, good flirt to roast ratio, caring, amazing 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?- I believe in being extremely attracted to someone at first sight, but I think that love takes time. 11. Do you ever want to get married?- I wanted to at one point. It just all depends on who I'm with.  12. Do you forgive betrayal?- not really. It depends on who the person is who does it.  13. Do you get jealous easily?- oh you betcha  14. Do you have a crush on anyone?- I do 15. Do you have any piercings?- 1 16. Do you have any tattoos?- I don't 17. Do you like kissing in public?- ehh small kisses are cool but that's it 20. Do you shower every day?- yep 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?- maybe but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?- heck yeah 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?- no one I've ever been with has been able to but I know I can do it 🤗 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?- I don't think so  25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?- if it happens cool but if not that's cool too  26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?- lots of people  27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?- both actually 28. Have you ever been cheated on?- yep 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?- I would never 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?- I wanted to change my nose actually bc I really hate it  31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?- oh you betcha  32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?- OH YOU BETCHA 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?- //// 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?- 🤗 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?- 🤗 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?- I have  37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?- oohhhh boy you bet I have. I think my friends have hated everyone I've ever liked  38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?- all the time  39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?- unfortunately  40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?- a poem! 41. Have you had sex so far this year?- nope 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?- well you see I'm touchy so  43. How long was your longest relationship?- a couple months  44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?- 3 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012?- NONE 46. How many times did you have sex last year?- 0000 47. How old are you?- 18 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?- uhh I think I'd just say that's cool tbh 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?- I can't answer this BC IM SINGLE 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?- I would want to but she doesn't deserve me so no 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?- yes  52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?- my ex. I was stubborn and I didn't want to for a long time but sometimes you just gotta give up on people that aren't willing to change  53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?- I don't think so  54. Is there someone you will never forget?- tons of people. Everyone I meet usually leaves some sort of impression on me that stays with me  55. Share a relationship story.- tbh?? I don't think I have many good ones so no thx 56. State 8 facts about your body- my eyes are green, I can move one of my thumbs in a really weird way, my ankles are shit and I roll them all the time, my thighs and stomach are squishy and make great pillows, my cheeks are chubby, my skin is really soft, I have small hands, and I have a birthmark on the back of my head under my hair  57. Things you want to say to an ex- I wish I hated you but you're always going to be someone I wish I could have in my life and I'm going to always miss you no matter where I am or what I'm doing. And I'll always wish it could have worked.  58. What are five ways to win your heart?- pizza, animals, trips to the aquarium, cuddles, neck kisses 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)- look at my avi  60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?- it was like 2 years  61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?- their smile usually 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?- support me and love me even tho my mental illnesses make it hard to do that lmao  63. What is your definition of “having sex”?- uh just ya know, having sex 64. What is your definition of cheating?- allowing yourself to fall for someone, whether in love or in lust, while with someone else. Cheating isn't just physical. It can be emotional too.  65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?- //// 66. What is your favourite roleplay?- //// 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?- take me to the aquarium please  68. What is your sexual orientation?- lesbian  69. What turns you off?- dull conversations, people who don't put in effort, rudeness 70. What turns you on?- kindness, humor, a nice smile, a cute laugh 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?- //// 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?- //// 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?- um not give up on me lmao  74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?- I don't think I have one 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?- wrote a song for me 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?- I drove to her house and brought her chicken nuggets because she was crying  77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?- age gaps do matter. A legal adult shouldn't date someone under 18. And age gaps can determine how mature some people will be in the relationship. I think they matter  78. What’s your dirtiest secret?- sometimes I wear the same bra 3 days in a row  79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?- ummm when this person went out of her way to try and make me jealous by telling me she was gonna kiss her friend 🤗 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?- I told Jessica I loved her last night  81. Who are five people you find attractive?- Jessica, myself, my boy Baylee, Carolyn, and Maura  82. Who is the last person you hugged?- my little sister 83. Who was your first kiss with?- one of my friends but idk if you can really count that  84. Why did your last relationship fail?- effort wasn't there, communication wasn't there, I don't think either of us were in it completely 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? - of course

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cryptvokeeper · 7 years ago

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All the musical asks babe

me: hm maybe I should save this for after I finish my essay...

also me: answer it now

aghhhhh ok answers under the cut

1. What was the first musical you saw?

fuck I...think it was Mary Poppins? that feels right.

2. What musical got you really into theatre?

god this is the most cliche basic fuckin answer but I think it was wicked. It was in middle school and my bitter angsty tween ass very much liked defying gravity and what is this feeling once I found them on youtube. It spiraled from there.

3. Who was your first Broadway crush?

I never had one. does the person I took to a broadway show count?

4. Name three of your current Broadway crushes.

I DONT HAVE THESE

5. Name four of your dream roles.

ugh christ no. I am under no delusion that I am talented enough to have a role in musicals k thanks

6. Favourite off-broadway show:

be more chill I guess?

7. Favourite cast recording.

dont make me chose you monster. les mis probably

8. 2013 Tony opening number or 2016 Tony opening number?

bitch im invested im not that invested.

9. Favourite show currently on Broadway.

is something rotten still running? something rotten was cool. or Anastasia that was nice.

10. A musical that closed and you’re still bitter about. Rant a bit.

THE GREAT FUCKIN COMET I NEVER GOT TO SEE IT AGHHHHH

11. Best stage to screen adaptation?

ummmmm idk im not that invested. Chicago maybe? I liked les mis but everyone hates it so that answers not allowed I guess

12. Worst stage to screen adaptation?

s h r u g

13. Favourite #ham4ham?

oooooh fuck theres one I cant remember the name of with king George that was awesome

14. A musical you would love to see produced by Deaf West?

Hamilton would be a nightmare but could you imagine? IDK if they've done Chicago but that might be cool.

15. If you could revive any musical, which one would it be and who would you cast in it?

ehhhh idk. leave the past in the past. revivals usually aren't as good as the original in any medium. which is an absolute bitch particularly for musicals which are elitist as hell but eh whatever.

16. If you could go to a concert at the 54 below, who’s would it be?

I dont know what that is?

17. Do you watch broadway.com vlogs? Which one is your favourite?

nope

18. Make a broadway related confession.

this is...so vague. idk I’ve never once paid for my own broadway tickets? hows that

19. What do musicals mean to you?

god thats sappy I am not in the right headspace to be answering this. It sounds like something the bratty theatre kids at my college would say. It means a medium of performance and storytelling in which characters sing to progress the plot or express emotions. I dont have some deep emotional connection to theatre as an art form I watch em like I watch Netflix or youtube. Particular musicals are a different story.

20. Express some love for understudies and swings!

You guys are hella cool and valid. You do phenomenal work and deserve all the love!

21. Best Disney musical:

I’ve never seen it but ive heard very good things abt newsies. Lion king is good but everyone expects that answer. Ive never seen beauty and the beast but I wanted to, and aladdin wasn't that great tbh- WAIT A FUCKIN SECOND HUNCHBACK. ignore all that hunchback is the bomb

22. Which Disney movie should be made into a musical?

Moana is my go to but tangled would also be cool. They could also do some creative things with the princess and the frog if they really stylized it like lion king. same with coco

23. Which musical fandom has the funniest memes?

all of them. Hamilton had some good ones but all of them.

24. Name a character from a musical you would sort into your Hogwarts house.

Blah. I’m a Ravenclaw as far as I know so lets go ahead and put Melchior Gabor from Spring Awakening there.

25. Name a Broadway star you would sort into your Hogwarts house.

I. AM. NOT. INVESTED. THAT. DEEP.

26. Best on stage chemistry?

fuck if I know I have the tact of a brick.

27. A Broadway duo you love.

my heart says grantaire and enjolras but its a known fact that the musical butchered that (their actors saved it by getting married tho) so instead, lets go with the brothers from something rotten. Good shit yo.

28. What book, tv show, movie, biography, video game, etc. should be turned into a musical?

obviously Percy Jackson- OH WAIT THAT HAPPENED. Lol anyway, what about the adventure zone? can you fuckin imagine?

29. If you could make a jukebox musical, what artist or genre would you pick?

god I am the LAST person this should be asked cuz my only music taste besides, yknow, musical songs, is pop punk and that would be a goddamn riot to see in the drama of theatre.

30. Favourite role played by _________________?

was not specified so-

31. What musical has made you cry the most?

None I am stone and heartless (jk les mis)

32. What musical has made you laugh the most?

Matilda was pretty great. Childishly fun which I appreciate there aren't a ton of musicals like that.

33. Current showtune stuck in you head:

I’m listening to mama who bore me reprise as we speak

34. A musical that has left you thinking about life for a long time or deeply inspired you.

we dont talk about the first time I listened to Michael in the bathroom okay because I damn near had a breakdown. It’s the song that started it all but yeah...not fun.

35. If you could perform any ensemble number , which one would you pick?

*comedy tonight flashbacks* or, ya know, nonstop and one day more

36. Name a musical you didn’t like at first but ended up loving.

none? I love all my musical children. I guess school of rock was slow to grow on me but I liked it.

37. What are some customes you’d love to try on?

A L L. but seriously any ballgown or princess dress NEEDS to be mine.

38. Favourite dance break.

Nothings gonna top the one in something rotten I LIVE for meta shit like that.

39. Favourite Starkid musical:

I dont really watch them

40. What’s a musical more people should know about?

SPRING AWAKENING YA’LL. CHECK IT OUT

41. What are some lines from musicals you really like?

ugh again, not in a great headspace for this. come back when finals aren't hanging over my head.

42. Name a Tony performance you rewatch and rewatch.

nope, sorry

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fourteenacross · 8 years ago

Text

2016 in writing

2016 in fic! This looks SO empty compared to past years, even if it's roughly the same amount of words! Hamilton: i saw the whole story unwind (132,888) Opening Break (3,531) Remote Capture (3,483) Not Your Average Bear! (1,835) Ghost Included (we hope) (2,941) but i won't go far away (12,577) the constellations aligned (10,004) the air grows cold around me and you (27,268) a way to hang the sun up in the sky (9,510) we'll have to muddle through somehow (8,513) Ficlets: Lazy Day (924) Cryptids (1,904) John's Instagram (1,443) Skeptic Refuted Fan Speculation (???)* Apocrypha (aka shit I wrote that takes place after the stuff in the main stories that may be disregarded/discarded as the next three stories develop): For Hire: Ghost Hunter (551) Three Wishes (2,446) Ouija Boards are NOT ALLOWED (1,139) Reality Show (1,538) Star Wars (2,441) X-Men Alternate Timeline Movies: Who Needs Sleep? (2,535) Fifty Dollars and First Impressions (3,574) Ficlets: Alex/Darwin Bookstore AU (343) Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Phryne/Jack Fake Married (588) Grand Total Fandoms: 3 Grand Total Stories: 23 Grand Total Word Count: 231,976* * I haven't written the transcription of this ficlet yet and I'm too lazy to do it right now, so it's not included in the total. Overall Thoughts: Well, this is a very different list than it's been for the past five years or so. The fandom switch aside, I didn't post any full stories until September, just a handful of tumblr ficlets. I also posted two things chapter-by-chapter, one as a WiP, which--wow, reminder that I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN, it's far too stressful! The bulk of the words are all in the same verse, and I'm not even counting the words that I wrote and haven't posted yet, jeez. This stupid universe. I simultaneously hate and love it. Writing an epic WiP in a new fandom was really rough. I'm ultimately thrilled with the finished product--waiting until it was all finished made me redraft over and over again until things fit together the way I wanted. It left me space to go back and seed things that I wanted to develop as I went...I really think the finished product is way better than it would have been if I'd rushed and posted it before it was done. That all being said, gosh, it was lonely. It was so, so lonely, when writing epics usually involves a lot of bouncing ideas off of people and letting them read and suggest as I draft and really digging into the process, etc. There were a couple of people who popped in and out, but life and other interests got in the way (which makes sense considering this went on for NINE MONTHS), and, man, I missed being able to text and IM people will story ideas at all hours and feel confident that they'd be interested in what I had to say. (For all the texting I do, I am actually super shy about it? I'm super nervous about initiating unless I'm 100% positive I won't be bothering the other person, which limits my texting confidence to like, my back-up bunnies and Erica.) Anyway, that's all to say that this year was a very different experience, fandom writing-wise, but I think I learned a lot in the process so...hooray?

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? This year I think my main goal was "FINISH PART ONE OF THE GHOSTHUNTERS" without a specific word count attached, so I succeeded in that part? Knowing me, I probably wanted to crack 300k at least, and while I'm sure I WROTE over 300k this year, what I actually published is about on par with the last couple years, so. NUMBER wise, I think I imagined I'd have a greater output vis-a-vis completed stories, but a lot of the shit I wrote was on the longer side, so. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Hm. Well, there's a lot more porn in the ghosthunters than is in most of the fic I've written, traditionally, but nothing really shocking. Most of it was ghosthunters words, so...yeah. I guess the Angel/Raven was sliiiightly a surprise because I figured if I had to step in and write some SM pinch-hits it would be all Charles/Erik stuff, but I really liked that story and I have shipped that pairing for many years so....not super a surprise. What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? I loved a lot of the stories I wrote this year, because I'm super obsessed with myself. [[< -- I think I've kept that sentence in for the past few years because it remains true]] I really love most of the ghosthunters shit, but if I had to pick a favorite....idk, I'm torn between i saw the whole story unwind because it's so epic and took so long and I put so much into it and the constellations aligned, because it came so easily and I'm a total sap and it's a totally sappy story. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Sitting on the ghosthunters until the first part was complete was new. Like I said above, that kind of patience and planning was difficult, but I think the end product was much better for it. So what I learned is probably "sit on a story for a couple days after you finish." I've always tried to employ at least cursory beta readers and done read-throughs after finishing, but the slower approach does actually lead to a better product. IMAGINE THAT. My best story of this year: Best? Hm. It's hard to compare i saw the whole story unwind to anything else, given it's length and the breadth of subjects it covers, so I'd say probably that or but i won't go far away, which deals with a lot of intricate emotions and explanations. My most popular story of this year: Okay, see, I wrote two chaptered stories this year and chaptered stories totally throw off your stats. Hit counts, kudos count, comment count...all of that is inflated by repeatedly pushing those fics to the top of the tags and having people come back for each chapter and all of that. Still, I'm p sure that i saw the whole story unwind was the most popular story? And I think a lot of that can be attributed to the above facts and also to the fact that it's the oldest and the longest and the first in the series, but...I'm gonna go with it anyway. Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I don't know that any of them are! Again, probably because most of them are in the same series, but...yeah, I'm pretty happy with the response to everything. I remember thinking at the time that there was something weird going on with the hit count for but i won't go far away because the hits-to-kudos ratio was WAY off. There were way too many hits accumulating in the first couple days it was up, like, way more than usual, even though kudos were accumulating at the correct rate? It was strange. And I did feel like that one got slightly less attention than some of the others, but that might be a mind trick based on that weirdly inflated hit count. Most fun story to write: Hm, I got a kick out of doing the twitter ficlet, and I wrote the constellations aligned in basically one sitting, so. Story with the single sexiest moment: This is one of the few years I have a lot to choose from. I think John's slow, intoxicated seduction in the constellations aligned probably wins that award. Definitely sexier than the sweet and kind of goofy sex scene in i saw the whole story unwind or the contemplative one in but i won't go far away. Story with the single sweetest moment: Hmmmmmmmm. "Sweet" is kind of my whole deal, and I like to think there's a lot of sweetness in my stories overall. I'm going to choose i saw the whole story unwind for this one and pin the sweetest moment in question as either Alex and John driving up to Peekskill or the two of them talking after Alex's nightmare. Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: Nothing really. Nothing cracky for me this year. Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I mean, this whole series has been a lesson in picking apart these characters and seeing how they tick. So. Hardest story to write: i saw the whole story unwind, for sure. Jesus, it took me forever to finish and I was entirely despairing during parts of it. Biggest Disappointment: Just that I didn't finish more, I think. Biggest Surprise: People actually getting so into the ghosthunters. I honestly didn't expect anyone to read any of these stories and to have a tiny group of people who seem to eagerly await each new part...it really warms my heart and makes me so happy. I can't overstate who wonderfully surprising that has been. Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I think there are a lot of places where I project pretty hard on John, or maybe it's that I use a lot of my own experiences to color some of his? We don't actually have much in common besides being gay and being depressed, and I'm older and (I hope) wiser, but, you know, mental illness is a deep well to mine for content. I'd also say I mine a lot of my Jersey shit for Herc and that Molly is the closest thing this series has to a Mary Sue. I'm not into science or math, but I am a cheerfully sarcastic fat brunette lesbian who spends a lot of time whining "why don't girls like me?" and as Opinions about pizza. Plans for the next year: I'm gonna say 300k published words next year. I'd like to post at least the next three ghosthunters anchor stories, maybe venture outside ghosthunters for Hamilton related shit? Pick up my MG novel again. Set a writing schedule and try to stick to it. Leave more comments. Try to put some more good in the world, because it's gonna be a shitty, shitty year.

#2016 #stuff about me #writing is hard

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intergalacthicc · 6 years ago

Text

taking a gap after grad

as much as college had been a very memorable experience for me, i really don’t wanna go back to it. i’ll surely miss it though. i feel like college bombarded with me life lessons more that the lectures i had to take to get my degree. college was such a roller coaster ride. there was no easy way out. the most emotional times i had in college was during the last few weeks of thesis-ing and the last few weeks of our final semester. both drained the shit out of me. idk if this is my leo sun talking but it really did. maybe i suck at channeling my outer feelings as well. most of the time my friends would see me loud and full of energy. i was more emotional when i was in high school. in college, i suddenly became programmed to ignore and suppress all the creeping feelings of dread. i enjoyed being the person who tries to cheer people up. i really forgot how to be sad most of the days. i literally felt numb at some point of my college life. specially when i’m working on a plate and i had to beat a deadline. i didn’t care about myself at all. i always forget to take care of myself. it feels as if my body was disassociating with my inner workings. i’d just let it work and work and work until i pass the goddamn plate. i also had extracurricular activities on the side, like pageants and stuff. it was definitely one for the books but i also felt numb that time. i would get criticisms about my body, my height, and my overall ~beauty~ but i wouldn’t feel a thing, i wouldn’t get hurt.

but then there were times (a lot actually) when i cry out of nowhere. i’d bawl my eyes out. sometimes my friends get to see this. i cry the most during situations when it’s not necessary. it’s like i’m a floating balloon and suddenly i had to burst out all the helium in me. maybe that was my whole being telling me to be more cautious with handling my feelings. it was telling me to become better at channeling my emotions. i kept keeping it all in that’s why it comes out during the unnecessary situations. that’s why when i cry. I CRY. i cry like my lungs are about to deteriorate from my ribcage. it felt like i was having panic attacks.

as icky as this may sound but i also felt a deeper form of affection during college. i don’t wanna get into details with that anymore because i ain’t got time to reminisce. THAT HELL OF AN EXPERIENCE DRAINED THE SHIT OUT OF ME AS WELL. i wasn’t complaining at all but damn, going through the first half of senior year was like carrying two persons during the entire time. i had to set aside my own feelings and emotions because i greatly valued this other person’s feelings. i was kept in denial for quite a while that i’d allow someone to have so much power over my happiness. but after some time, i learned to accept the fact that i, indeed, wasn’t thinking clearly. i blame it all on the endorphins. eugh. i thought i was overreacting with the sadness i felt after that but research says that getting over someone causes the same thing alcoholics or a chain smokers would feel when they are withdrawing from their vices. it was like withdrawing from the high. withdrawing from that overwhelming feeling of happiness and carrying on with the life you had before it. god it really drained the shit outta me.

oh man. the last few weeks of college was also pretty intense. our senior retreat was the highlight though. whenever i remember it, i would get a little sappy and sad because it was like we were making the most out of everything because we knew well that our days of being altogether kept inside the four corners of a classroom are numbered. i love this people. i’m forever grateful that i had the best people by my side to get through the everydays of our college life. i genuinely hope that all of them would get to where they want to be. fuck time. they can take all the time they need to grow. as long as they won’t loose their drive, they will get to the finish line. we all will. idk what that finish line is. we all have our own versions of it but i just really wish for them to grow into even better human beings. i love them with all my heart.

after the retreat came the (idk what to call it) part. oh man, it was just a disaster. all the feelings i suppressed for four years came crashing down on me. ALL OF THEM I TELL YOU. the moment i came home from the baccalaureate mass i just broke down in front of my mother. i didn’t know why. i was so full of energy during the bacc mass but when i came home i felt the heaviness of the weight of all the emotions i felt. i didn’t know what’s wrong with me. i was a burrito of chaotic emotions. i was feelings blue, feeling useless, feeling withdrawn from the world, sad, anxious, scared, and more. this didn’t take only a few days. i felt it until grad and even after grad. i was starting to get scared. i’ve withdrawn myself even from my family. i would lock myself in my room most days and i would just bawl my eyes out. i bailed on my highschool friends when they went out for a lunch celebration because my eyes were sore as fuck. one time i survived a day with only eating a few meal. i know i had my parents worried. i was so down. i was told not to invalidate my sadness just because it’s not that drastic. but i really felt bad for being so so down. i feel like by this time, i should just be grateful. but no, i was lost. i was panicking because i spent 4 frickin’ years trying to get to this point but when i got to it. i felt empty. i was left questioning myself “now what?”

all throughout, my parents were supportive of me. sometimes they’d get pissed at me for acting so irritable and moody but most of the times they treated me so gentle. idk i’m just super grateful for them. i wasn’t pressure to become someone i am not. they were aware that i was going through such a tough time after college and they would try to talk me out of it. i feel bad for turning my back on them sometimes. i also feel bad for letting them worry because i have’t eaten a meal yet during an entire day. my mother even advised me to seek help already. it was that bad.

right now, me and my parents are having a debate whether i’d work right away or take the time off for a few months until november (because i have an out of the country trip on november and it’s either i drop that trip in exchange of work or i would take a gap first). my parents are so supportive of me taking a break first. my mama’s aware that i wasn’t ~emotionally and mentally~ ready yet for the employment life. she really was the one who saw me at my most stressed state during college that’s why i get that she wants me to take all the rests and unwinding time i could. we had to argue on this because i wanted a job already, i’m a fast paced person. i wanna get sum work done always. but then i realized i can’t leave my work for that trip i got scheduled. so i would have to cancel the trip. but then i remembered that i want that eat.pray.love julia roberts moment. i wanna travel. i wanna soul search.

5 months gap. oh god. 5 months of being a bummer. but my parents are so supportive on this so it’s a relief knowing it’s okay for them. i guess i need this too. some people wouldn’t understand why i’m not getting a job yet but i know myself better. i know what kind of emotional mess i’ve been through. i think i deserve half a year as a break. no haste, i guess. i can have some freelance job on the side so i don’t regress to laziness. as cliche as this may sound, but i really need to realign my goals, to reignite my old passions, to heal, to discover more about the specific career i want, to do things i haven’t done when i was busy pulling off all nighters. just a few days ago, i discovered that i was 0.04 points away from getting latin honors. it sucks knowing i was that close. and honestly, i’m just tired of trying, of putting everything aside for the sake of good grades (maybe i am grade conscious, i really wanted to bring my parents up the stage even i they keep on saying that they don’t mind huhu). so now, fuck it. for once, i don’t wanna care. i just wanna hakuna matata. i’m gonna savor the few months of having no worries (except for this project im doing right now lol). F U C K I T. I’M ABOUT TO HAVE MY EAT.PRAY.LOVE MOMENT.

#letter

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