#idk i'm just in my feels today and when i saw that news i just felt devastated for some reason

[nickyheart7]

[space-cowgirllll]

Die With A Smile

Outbreak Day with ex-girlfriend Abby?

a/n: idk what lady gaga and bruno put in this song fr. I should have been studying for an Ochem exam but here we are lol.

"Government officials met today to discuss the recent spikes in hospitalizations all across the globe over the past week, with talks of setting up government run quarantine zones in all major cities." 

You perk up from your spot on the couch, trading the carton of ice cream in your hands for the TV remote. The local newswoman's voice fills the quiet space as the volume increases. You immediately recognize the hospital in the background. 

"Hospital staff everywhere are overwhelmed with the influx of patients coming in with symptoms of this mysterious virus. For the time being it is highly recommended that any travel plans be postponed. International flights have started being cancelled, leaving hundred of people stranded. The CDC advises everyone to remain calm  and continue to follow your city's imposed emergency curfews as they work towards finding the cause." 

The face-mask you'd slathered on earlier hardens as she lists off the symptoms to look out for: sudden mood changes, muscle spasms, and slurred speech. You can't wrap your mind around a simple virus causing all this. Your stomach sinks in realization, this is definitely more serious than anybody was letting on. 

Without even thinking you reach for your phone, quickly scrolling through your contact list until you land on the one person you've been avoiding. Abby, your ex girlfriend of six months. Your finger hovers over her number, wondering if this was worth breaking three months of no contact when loud screams come from the television. You look up just in time to see the blast of an explosion before the screen goes blank. Static stares back you. 

Your finger mashes down on the touchscreen with zero hesitation as you run to the sink, hands desperately scrubbing at your face while you wait for her to answer. You don't even stop to consider you might be blocked. 

Please pick up, please pick up, please.

"Hello?" Abby's panicked voice sounds through the phone. 

"Oh my god Abs. Are you okay?" You ramble. "I just saw the news and I- there was an explosion."

"I had to home to change. " Her voice is shaky, turn signal clicks faintly in the background. "I was still close enough to- OH MY GOD!" The sound of tires screeching drown out Abby's curses. A loud boom sounds off outside, this one feels closer. "I'm....to...you" Is the last thing you hear before the line goes dead.

You throw the phone across the room, a string of curses leaving your mouth. The open window of your living room lets you hear the chaos outside before you can see it. Helicopters fly overhead and sirens sound off in the near distance. One by one, porch lights come on as your neighbors step out of their homes, confusion etched on their faces.

The sound of a door slamming open catches everyone's attention. Out of the corner of your eye you see the outlines of two people moving towards the road. Your neighbor, Claire, yells as her husband chases after her. His movements far too quick and erratic for someone his age. 

Everyone watches in shock as he catches up to her, mouth attacking the side of her neck, effectively silencing her screams. The sight is gory. You stand frozen as some of the braver ones try to help, only to be met with a similar fate before he runs off into the middle of the road, searching for his next victim. Chaos quickly ensues, people run off back to their homes, garages pop open as some try to make a quick escape. You stagger back, knocking into the side table beside the couch. A picture frame falls over, shattering loudly on wood floor.

To your absolute horror, his head snaps to your window. For the first time, you're able to catch a glimpse of him up close. Gone was the sweet old man who would help you with yard work in those first few months after Abby moved out. The skin of his face is molted, almost as if something was eating away at it. Once sparkling blue eyes are completely glazed over. The bloodthirsty look on his face sends you reeling. 

His mouth parts open letting out a loud screech, ready to lunge through the thin window screen when a familiar black truck slams into him. Abby hops out, mouth moving quickly as she shouts something at you. Between the ringing in your ears and the loud screams outside you don't register what she says. Your eyes blink rapidly, hoping the sight of your elderly neighbor under her front tire is just your imagination. In your peripheral you see the front door swing open, Abby's keychain hanging from the lock. 

Strong hands grip you by the shoulders, shaking you out of your stupor. "Baby what are you doing? We have to go!"

Her woodsy scent envelopes you as she scoops you up and carries you out bridal style before tossing you in the passenger seat. Fingers clench into the leather as the truck reverses, disturbing the once perfect lawn. Your flowerbeds and mailbox becoming casualties in the process too. 

You peel your eyes off the dash, looking out the window as she flies through residential neighborhoods. More and more people are starting to trickle out from the safety of their homes. Some running with only the clothes on their backs, others quickly shoving personal belongings in their vehicles. 

Your voice is shaky when you finally speak up. "What's going on Abigail?"

She exhales heavily, looking exhausted. "I don't know."

"Are they all like that?" 

Her jaw clenches. "The ones I've been treating are in the early stages of their symptoms, but beds are full. We've been told to turn people away to recover at home." She huffs. "I don't even wanna know how many of them are out there running around like that."

You hesitantly rub her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, slowly pulling back when she tenses. Her throat clears and the skin of her knuckles turns white as she tightens her grip on the wheel. 

"So what are we doing?"

You're shocked when she shrugs her shoulders. Abby always had a plan. You wrack your brain, trying to think of something. 

"My parent's cabin up north! We could go there." You suggest. "Y'know until everything settles down."

She makes a sharp right, following the signs pointing her to the nearest on ramp. Her fist slams against the wheel when you pull up to the main highway just five minutes later. It seems like everyone had the same idea. Cars are honking, people are screaming. Nobody is moving. The thought of sitting in bumper to bumper traffic right now doesn't sound like a smart idea.

"My apartment's in the city." Abby suddenly states. "They were setting up barricades when I left for work this morning. Flyers talking about a quarantine zone." 

She doesn't wait for your approval, sending the truck speeding towards her place. The closer you get to the city, the more erratic Abby's driving becomes. It's clear your little suburban bubble was late to the news of the outbreak. Downtown Seattle is absolute madness. Everywhere you look there's something happening. Those infected chase people up and down the streets, tackling the ones too slow to outrun them. Shops that you can remember being there your whole life are now ablaze. 

You grip onto the handle above your head watching wide eyed as Abby plows through debris in the street. Bile rises in your throat when you realize she most likely driving over the dead bodies left behind. 

The truck slows to a crawl. Concrete barricades were placed closer together here, making it impossible to get through. She silently curses at the fact that you're gonna have to leave the safety of the car and make the rest of the journey on foot. She grabs your face between her hand, forcing you to look her in the eye.

"Get ready to run baby." 

Your hand is on the handle when something crashes into your door. A scream gets caught in your throat as the infected bangs on the glass of your window before setting it's sights on the blonde. She's halfway out of the truck when she gets tackled to the ground. Her hands shoot out using all her strength to keep it from attacking her 

"Abby!"

She screams at you to run. Her arms are getting tired of holding this ridiculously strong freak back. Her hold is quickly slipping. Accepting her fate she screws her eyes shut bracing for the inevitable. A loud whack and she doesn't realize there's no longer any weight holding her down until your panicked voice is in her ear. 

"Holy fuck! Are you okay?"

You crouch beside her, a bloody metal pipe in your hands. Keeping a watchful eye on the body laying just inches from hers. She slaps your hand away, wincing when she gets up on her own. 

"Why would you do that?!" She whisper yells, unsure whether to kiss you for saving her or punching you for putting yourself in danger. "I told you to run!"

"I could never just leave you like that. You're welcome." You say through labored breaths. With a roll of her eyes she grabs your hand, sprinting in the direction of her building. 

You're thankful it's a short run from the car to her place. The two of you able to successfully hide from any other infected. It doesn't take long for either of you to realize that their vision sucks. 

The stairs up to her place are a feat of its own. You huff and puff up to the nineteenth floor, legs on fire when you finally walk through the door. 

Her apartment is spotless, because of course it is. Floor to ceiling windows give you a clear view of what seems to be the end of the world. 

"Oh my god." You stand in the middle of her room, watching in horror as explosions go off in my the distance. The ground beneath you shakes as they get closer and closer. 

Abby shakes her head in disbelief clearly putting two and two together. 

"It's so heavily populated here. They don't see the point in trying to separate the healthy from the infected." She whispers. Tears well in her eyes watching a plane purposefully fly into the ground off in the distance. The large blast setting fire to everything around it. There are more right behind it. "We're so fucked."

You watch as the fight leave her body. Your throat locks up, unable to scream at her. Wobbly legs pace back and forth in the small space trying to think of something that might work. Deep down you know it's pointless. There's no way you'd make it out of the city alive. Soft sobs wrack your body at the realization that this really is the end. 

Her shoulders slump as she sits on the bed. She gnaws on her lower lip to keep from crying too loud. "Can I hold you?" 

You nod, legs feeling like jelly. Abby reaches for you, pulling you up towards the headboard. The two of you lay beside each other breathing heavily with your hands intertwined. Tears stream down her face and onto the pillow under her head. 

She reaches over and kisses you, her shaking hand plays with the baby hairs on the nape of your neck. "My biggest regret was letting you go."

You watch face as she continues talking, lips moving against yours. "I had to stop myself from driving past the house every single day." She laughs. "Would have sat outside your door until you took me back."

"I wish you would have." You admit through a watery smile. 

"I never stopped loving you. I just want you to know that." She whispers, lips moving to kiss your temple. 

"I should have never left." Your lips meet the skin of neck tasting the salty tears that have pooled there. "I love you too Abby. So much it hurts." 

"I can't believe this is what it took for us to realize how stupid we were." She mumbles into your hair. Your face burrows into the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry baby."

"I'm glad you came for me." You tell her, but you know she doesn't hear it. 

The walls start shaking, sending everything tumbling to the floor. You're no longer able to hear anything over the sound of a loud engine approaching. Her arms tighten around you, the two of you curl into each other. 

There's a jarring beeping in your ear just as it all goes black. 

You shoot up in bed, heart in your throat. The sound of your heavy breathing almost drowns out the harsh beeping of your alarm. Reaching over you rip the cord from the wall sitting in silence for a moment while your heartbeat returns to normal. 

The sun is shining outside, laughter from the kids across the street flows in through the small opening of your window. A lawnmower goes off in the distance.

Shaking hands fist the cool cotton of your sheets. The soft material grounding you. You look around the small room. Everything looks just as you left it. There's an empty bottle of wine on the dresser and you roll your  eyes at yourself. 

That explains it. 

You're okay. 

It was all a dream.

You jump out of bed, rushing to the bathroom before taking the stairs two at a time almost snapping an ankle. The entryway table shakes when you snatch the keys from on top of it. The warm August breeze that hits you when you walk outside makes you feel renewed. 

The quiet neighborhood looks as it always does. A couple of people are out watering their lawns while some head out for church. Claire sits on her front porch drinking a cup of coffee, giving you a little wave when she spots you pulling out of your driveway and it's a miracle you don't burst into tears. Using muscle memory you quickly punch in the number you know by heart, waiting with bated breath for an answer.  "Hello?"Your shoulders drop in relief at the sound of her voice. She's okay.

"Where are you?"

"At home," she pauses "why?"

"Perfect." You hang up before she can reply. Tossing the phone on the passenger seat you press your foot down on the gas. 

You make it to Abby's apartment building in record time, parking haphazardly by the curb. There's a ninety nine percent chance you'll come back to a parking ticket stuck to your windshield but you don't care. 

There's a moment on the elevator ride up to the nineteenth floor where you second guess yourself. Aware of how ridiculous you look in mix matched pajamas going to try and win your ex girlfriend back. You steel your nerves reminding yourself of how horrible those last few seconds of your nightmare were.  If she kicks you out you can at least say you tried. 

Abby answers the door looking mouth watering in a black tank top and gray shorts, her messy hair pulled back in a low bun. "Alright, how many traffic laws did you break on your way over here?"

"You don't wanna know." You pant, throwing yourself into her arms. 

She catches you with a soft grunt, hesitating for a second before wrapping her arms around you. The familiar scent of pine engulfs you.  

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" Her teasing tone makes your face heat up. "I don't think random house visits on a Sunday at 8 AM fall under no contact." She quips. 

"I love you!" The words are out before you can stop yourself. "I love you and I don't want to go another day without letting you know that walking away from you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I regret it every single day."

Abby leans back against the door with her hands still on your hips. There's a tiny grin on her face watching you spill your guts, you’re too worked up to notice. "I know we're both at the peak of our careers. I know we're busy, and there will be days we don't even get to see each other, but I'm tired of living like this. I miss you." 

You sniffle pathetically into her chest. "The world could end tomorrow and I don't want to regret never telling you how I felt." Thumbs wipe gently at your tears. "And if you don't feel the same way I underst- mmph!"

Her lips meet yours in a soft kiss, hands wandering under your shirt to caress the soft skin of your back. Neither of you make a move to deepen it, content to take it slow.

Abby pulls back first. Her eyes shine with unshed tears as she stares down at you. It suddenly hits you how much you've missed her. She brings her forehead to rest against yours. 

"Took you long enough baby."

[mintseung]

FIRST SIGHT L.H.S

⑅ pairing: BrothersBest friendLee!heeseung x gn!reader.

⑅ genre: Smut / fluff (MDNI!)

⑅ warnings: jerking off, reader fucking Heeseung's d!ck. Idk if I missed one

WC: 2.5k??

Pt2 OUT NOW

It was a rainy day, and you were in the living room, reading a book, while your mother was busy cooking in the kitchen. The rhythmic patter of raindrops against the windows filled the air when suddenly, the door opened. You looked up and saw your older brother Jay entering with another guy you didn't recognize. They both stepped inside, shaking off the rain and carefully removing their shoes before proceeding further into the house.

"Mom, I'm home!" your brother shouted as he sat on the sofa with his friend. Your mother came into the living room and said, "Oh, you're home! And who's this?" She smiled at the guy. The guy stood up and bowed. "Hello, Mrs. Park. I'm Lee Heeseung, Jay's classmate," he said with a warm smile. "What a polite kid. You should be like that too, Jay," she joked.

"Okay, I'll go back to cooking. Make Heeseung feel at home, okay?" she said, walking back to the kitchen. You nodded and turned back to the living room. Your brother called out to you, "Hey, loser," and you looked up at him. He was smiling and holding out a cup of milk tea. "I got you boba," he said, his smile widening.

You couldn't help but smile back. You stood up from the couch and walked over to Jay, who handed you the milk tea. As you took it, you glanced over at Heeseung and your eyes met. Heeseung gave you a warm smile, and you felt your cheeks red.

Years have passed, and Heeseung has started coming to your house more often. Whenever you two make eye contact, your face turns as red as a tomato. One day, as you are lost in thought, staring at Heeseung for what feels like an eternity, your brother notices and teases you, "You okay, loser? You've been staring at Heeseung for a minute now." His eyes remain focused on the game as his fingers deftly manipulate the controller. Startled by the sudden realization, you stammer, "Uh, yeah, I am. Sorry." Feeling embarrassed, you awkwardly walk away and head to the kitchen to compose yourself.

*Slams locker* "My God, Y/N, you've been drooling over Heeseung for years now, but you won't admit it," your friend says with a smirk, leaning against the row of lockers. You sigh, feeling a mix of frustration and embarrassment. "I know, but he's my brother's best friend. He probably sees me as a little sister," you reply, your voice tinged with resignation as you continue walking through the crowded school hallway.

Your friend shakes their head, clearly not convinced. "Still, you never know unless you try. Maybe he sees you differently now."

Just as you're about to respond, you hear a familiar voice call out, "Hey, Y/N!" You stop in your tracks and turn around, your heart skipping a beat. There, walking towards you with his hands casually tucked into his pockets, is Heeseung. He has that easy smile on his face that always makes your stomach having a war inside.

Your friend nudges you with a knowing grin. "Speak of the devil. Go talk to him. I'll catch up with you later." She gave you a little shove in Heeseung's direction before disappearing into the sea of students.

Trying to steady your nerves, you plaster on a smile and wait for Heeseung to reach you. "Oh hey" you say, hoping your voice doesn’t betray how flustered you feel.

"Hey, Y/N," he says, stopping in front of you. "Your brother will be late today, and he asked me to drive you home after school since I'll be at your house anyway, waiting for him."

"Okay! I'll see you at the school garden after class," you say, holding back your smile.

"Sounds great, see ya," he replies before walking away.

"God, there's a whole zoo in my stomach right now," you tell yourself.

You and your friends were walking out of the campus when one of them said, "Oh hey y/n, are you coming with us?" Another chimed in, "Yeah y/n? There's a new tteokbokki shop open down the street!" Before you could respond, a voice interrupted, "Hey y/n, ready to go?" You all turned to see Heeseung walking towards you with his hands in his pockets.

"God y/n! You didn't tell us you have a handsome boyfriend," Sunoo exclaimed, his jaw dropping to the floor. You didn't reply, captivated by Heeseung's beauty. As Heeseung reached you, he looked at your friends and said, "Hey, you guys must be y/n's friends, right?" He smiled as he took your backpack off your shoulder.

You snapped out of your reverie, shaking your head slightly. "Stop assuming and no, he's not my boyfriend, And yes, these are my friends, Sunoo, Jungwon, and Shin," you said, introducing them to Heeseung who smiled warmly at each of them. "So you're single?" Sunoo teased, nudging you playfully. You shot him a look and lightly hit his shoulder, silently telling him to stop. Heeseung chuckled at the playful banter. "Yeah, I am," Heeseung replied, his smile widening as he glanced back at you.

"We're about to go eat, you wanna come with us?" Jungwon asked, heeseung smiled "sure" he replied.

As you all walked, your friends were chatting animatedly ahead of you, leaving you and Heeseung to walk together side by side. Heeseung glanced over at you, breaking the silence. "So your friends thought I was your boyfriend?" he teased, a smirk playing on his lips. "Shut up," you replied with a playful punch to his chest, both of you chuckling softly. "Where did Jay go though?" you asked, curiosity evident on your face. "Hmm, secret~" Heeseung teased back, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You rolled your eyes but couldn't help but smile at his playful demeanor.

As you entered the tteokbokki shop, your friends quickly found a table. Shin grabbed a menu and started browsing. "So, what will you guys want?" she asked, flagging down a passing waiter. "I'll have two orders of tteokbokki, chicken wings, and a beer," you said decisively, scanning the menu with a grin. Heeseung looked at you with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you drinking beer?" he asked. "I'm not a minor anymore, you know," you retorted, meeting his gaze confidently.

"Cancel the beer," he said firmly, catching the waiter's attention. As the waiter adjusted the order, you glared at Heeseung. "Hey, why did you do that?" you protested, lightly hitting his shoulder. "I'll get killed by your brother if I let you drink," he explained, crossing his arms. "He won't know if you won't tell him!" You roll your eyes.

While eating, you noticed Heeseung was solely focused on the tteokbokki and hadn't tried any of the other dishes on the table. Curious, you picked up a piece of chicken and held it out to him. "Try this," you urged, waiting for him to take a bite. "Do I really have to?" he teased, looking at you with a playful glint in his eyes. "Just do it," you replied, playfully impatient. Heeseung finally relented and took a bite of the chicken. His expression softened into a smile. "Tastes good," he admitted, surprising you by grabbing your hand to take another bite of the chicken.

As you all walked out of the shop, your friends thanked Heeseung for treating them to the meal. "We should get going, it's kinda late" Sunoo suggested, breaking the moment. "Good luck to both of you, then, I mean stay safe" Shin teased with a mischievous grin.

"Oh, shut up," you replied with an eye roll, playfully nudging Shin. Despite the teasing, you couldn't hide the slight blush on your cheeks from the meaningful glance exchanged between you and Heeseung.

While walking with him, you saw a claw machine. You ran toward it and inserted a coin as Heeseung followed you. "Like plushies, hm?" he asked, crossing his arms beside you. You mumbled in response, too focused on getting the plushie from the claw machine.

"OH, FUCK THIS CLAW MACHINE!" you yelled, kicking it in frustration.

"Yoyo, chill. I'll get it for you," he said, moving closer. As he took your hand and you both controlled the joystick together, your heart started beating faster. It felt like your world was about to explode.

While he was focused on the claw machine, you decided to look at his face. "He's so handsome," you whispered to yourself. You didn't realize that he had already won a prize; you were too distracted by his beauty. He looked at you, and for a moment, you both just stared at each other.

The eye contact broke when Heeseung's phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and turned around to answer the call. You crouched down, retrieved the plushie from the claw machine, and smiled. It was a hamster plushie, and you thought to yourself how much it resembled Heeseung.

After Heeseung finished the call, he returned to you and looked at the plushie you were holding. "Happy now?" he asked, smiling.

"Mhm, yes, thank you!" you replied, smiling back at him before looking at the plushie again.

"By the way, your brother will be staying for an extra two days because his girlfriend wants to spend some time with him for... some stuff. I don't really know the details," he said.

"Oh okay. Uhhh... Heeseung, can I take a picture of you with the plushie? You kinda look like it!" you said, readying your camera.

"Sure, why not?" he laughed.

You tried to reach Heeseung's cheeks to put the plushie beside his face, but he was a bit taller than you. "Uh, mind bending down? I'm literally 5'6 here!" you said, glaring at him.

He chuckled and bent down so you could place the plushie beside his face. 'Click.' "Cute!" you said, looking at the photo and smiling.

You and Heeseung went inside your house, glad to be out of the rain. Since your parents were away for a month for work, the house was empty, and you had it all to yourselves.

"I'll get going already," Heeseung replied softly.

"But the rain is pouring really hard outside. Are you sure you want to leave?" you asked, concern evident in your voice. "It's late and really unsafe out there. You could stay in Jay's room."

You smiled reassuringly at him, and he returned the smile. "Alright, fine, I'll stay," he agreed, slipping off his shoes.

"I'll go take a quick hot shower," you said, and Heeseung nodded, settling onto the couch and switching on the TV to play games.

After taking a nice hot shower, you stepped out and went to the living room to call Heeseung. "Hey, Heeseung, it's your turn to take a bath," you told him as he put down the controller and looked at you for a moment. Heeseung's jaw almost dropped as he saw you with your wet hair, a fitted crop top (which you often wore at home), and short shorts. He stared at you momentarily when you called his name.

"You okay, Hee?" you asked as water dripped from your hair. He finally snapped out of his daze when he heard you calling. "Uh, yes. Can you lend me some towels?" he asked, standing up.

"Sure, wait," you replied, heading upstairs to grab some towels and a pair of comfortable clothes for Heeseung. While he took a bath, you were in the kitchen, eating bread and milk, scrolling through Instagram.

After Heeseung finished his bath, you both retired to separate rooms for the night. However, you couldn't sleep due to fear of the thunder outside, causing you to shake under your blanket. Normally, you would seek comfort by sleeping with your mom, but your parents weren't home, leaving you unable to sleep. Finding yourself in front of Jay's room, you knocked softly. Heeseung opened the door with sleepy eyes, seeing you holding your pillow.

"I can't sleep, I'm scared of the thunder," you said fearfully, pouting slightly.

"Oh, come sleep with me then," Heeseung replied, opening the door wider so you could enter. As you stepped inside, you immediately lay down on the bed, hugging your pillow. Heeseung chuckled softly, finding you cute as he lay down beside you. Despite his presence, you were still shaking in fear from the loud thunder outside.

Heeseung opened his arms invitingly. "You know I don't mind comforting you?"

"Are you sure?" you asked with a shaky voice.

"Mhm, yes, come on now," he reassured you. You wrapped your arms around his back as you rested your head on his chest. Gradually, you started to feel more comfortable as he began rubbing your back soothingly, helping to calm your nerves.

In the morning, you woke up with Heeseung's arm wrapped around your waist. He felt warm and cuddly, just as you had felt last night. As you pushed yourself back to get a bit more comfortable, he wrapped one leg around yours. However, as you adjusted yourself a bit, you suddenly felt that Heeseung was hard.

Heeseung woke up feeling his boxers were sticky, and he realized he was hugging you. "Omg, I'm sorry, Yn!" He stood up and bowed. "Do you want me to help you?" You asked him innocently. Heeseung already knows what you meant. "Uhm, what are you talking about?" he asked nervously. "I mean, s-sure if you don't mind," he said as he lay down. You carefully removed his pants and looked at him, eyeing him that your gonna take of his boxers. As you remove his boxers you saw his dick was hard, those veins popping out, precum in his slit, his pinkish mushroom tip, you dreamed about this already.

You start pumping up and down making heeseung moaning your name, you start to rub your thumb over his slit making him grab the bed sheets.You opened your mouth and licked his tip.

"Ahh Yn faster please" he begs, you know he was close already. You start to pump faster while sucking his balls, after a second he cummed in your hand and face, making him moan loud.

He realized he had made a mess and got up, visibly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, y/n, I didn't mean to" he apologized sheepishly. As you licked the remnants of the mess from your hand "yum" you look at him.

[dovveri]

strangers

synopsis: trainee life is a lot tougher than you thought, but with three other trainees you met along the way, you have a little more hope that it’ll all be worth it in the end.

warnings: bad eating habits, mentions of vomiting and self-induced vomiting, swearing, suggestive, TOE-SUCKING, alcohol and parties, lots of feelings and trainee life angst

w/c: 19.2k !!!!! why is this like half of my entire bachelorette series jeezus

a/n: requested!! i actually dont fill reqs this quick but i had the idea alr and i lwk love writing poly i just think its so much messier and more confusing and FUN so writing this came a lot easier than writing other reqs do. also u lwk only have to read half of this and be happy yippee happily ever after OR u can potentially hurt urself and enjoy the angst but idk it’s not THAT bad so 🤗

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

“y/n?”

you blink, tilting your head up from your hiding spot under the table in the recording studio. it’s nayeon, one of the korean trainees. you hurriedly wipe your eyes on your sleeve, stumbling upwards and almost knocking your head on the bottom of the table.

“s-sorry. were you using this room? i’ll get out now-“

“no no! it’s okay i was just going to get some practice in and i saw you. are you… are you okay?” you appreciate her speaking slower for you, your grasp of korean still wasn’t the best.

“y-yeah i’m fine. i’ll just- leave you to it- sorry again-“

“are you sure? today’s actually my day off so i don’t have to be doing anything. i’m happy to just listen if you want…?”

you gulp, avoiding her gaze, nayeon was one of the trainees that everyone knew would most likely make it. you didn’t see much of her because she was always off on side jobs filming as a background dancer for music videos, booking small modelling gigs, and she was generally in more advanced classes than yours and was even set to debut in a group with a few others before the idea was scrapped. she was steadily making a name for herself even before the public knew her, something you couldn’t help but be envious of. but here she was, offering to listen to you of all people.

“i- um-“

“it’s okay. you can take your time.” she smiles sweetly, “i tried to take a few english classes but it’s a lot more difficult than i thought it’d be. so i can understand how hard it must be to come to a different country and learn a whole new language.”

“t-thank you. i was just um- i was actually just thinking about calling home and… and quitting.”

she nods, eyes filled with empathy, waiting for you to continue.

“i just- don’t think i can make it. there’s so many talented people here and this has always been my dream but i’m just not good enough and i don’t even- it doesn’t even make sense for me to be here when i could be back home getting an education or i don’t know- doing something with my life.”

“you don’t think what you’re doing now is something?”

you sigh, gripping your arm firmly, "it- it is but i don't know if it's all going to work out in the end."

"and you think going back home and going to school will guarantee things working out for you?"

"well- i- no, not for certain but-"

"so isn't the only difference that you actually want to do this? you don't want to end up working an office job for the rest of your life right?"

"but- like i'm more likely to get an office job than i am to debut-"

"i'm sure the office jobs will wait for you. idol life won't. if you don't make it, then the office job will always be there right? it's up to you though, i'm not trying to convince you to stay or leave, i just think it's a shame when you have a real chance at getting what you've dreamt of your whole life. you were scouted weren't you? did you know i auditioned to get in? and i had to hide it from my family because they didn't think this was a realistic job prospect, not when i was still in high school. so if you think you don't belong here, just remember you beat out other auditionees to get your spot as a trainee here, so you were good enough for that." she smiles brightly, her two protruding front teeth proudly on display, giving her the adorable likeability to a rabbit.

her words bring you back from the edge of panic, you've always looked at her through a lens of jealousy, wishing you had as much natural talent and star power as she did, but right now, you could see she was so much more than that, and you respected her for it, admired her for it.

"thank you nayeon." you finally meet the older girl's eyes, and her smile grows even brighter.

"of course. do you have any training schedules to get to right now? or do you want to stay here and practice some vocal chords with me?"

"would that be okay?" your eyes widen at her offer.

"yes! don't be silly y/n i know we're all meant to be competing or whatever but we're most likely going to debut in a group right? we can't just be out for each other's throats all the time."

you smile, finding her attitude refreshing, most of the trainees you had met were exactly like that, and you felt even more isolated when it was obvious they made no effort to get to know you because of the language barrier, to them, it was just another advantage they had over you.

"c'mon. let's see what you got."

your motivation reinvigorated, you spend the rest of the afternoon cooped up in the recording studio with nayeon, practicing together but also joking around and laughing, being the kids you were in an industry that stripped you of that freedom.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"これの読み方を知っていますか?"

"いいえ、私は愚かです."

you shuffle uncomfortably in your seat, unable to shake the insecurity that they were talking about you. you were currently in your intensive korean class, waiting for the teacher to appear. the class was mostly quiet, except for the two girls sitting a table away from you, whispering and laughing, pushing each other around playfully.

when you glance towards them again, one of them meets your eye. you panic, whipping your head back down to your open textbook.

the girl who saw you whispers something to her seatmate, nodding towards you, bringing the other girl's attention to you as well.

you strain to see what they're doing in your peripheral vision, but the little giggles and whispers have you shrinking in even more on yourself, thinking they were making fun of you for whatever reason.

you don't notice when the one who spotted you first is suddenly standing next to you. she waits for you to acknowledge her, but when you don't she giggles again, leaning down and tilting her head so you had to look at her.

"hi. my name sana. you?"

"y-y/n."

"y/n? nice to meet you! that momo." she steps back a little and points at the other girl who waves shyly at you. you stare back at her, dumbfounded, reciprocating her wave.

"you... korean good?"

you blink, unsure of what to say, "umm... it's okay i guess."

sana grins, all teeth, almost blinding you, running back to her seat and picking up her textbook, skipping back towards you and plopping down in the empty seat next to you. she points at the page, "how to do?"

you look down to the question she has circled, it was part of the homework set from the last lesson. you flick back to that page in your own textbook, showing her and trying to explain with gestures what it was asking.

when it clicks, that blinding smile graces her features again, her eyes lighting up and quickly scribbling down the answer. then she turns to momo who seemed to be doodling little drawings all over her workbook instead of studying.

"モモリ馬鹿野郎 ! これがあなたのやり方です."

you shrink back into your seat, thinking she was done with you, only needing you to help her with her homework, and now that she was done, she could go back to making fun of you.

but instead, momo looks over curiously, standing up and hovering over the two of you. sana starts talking in rapid japanese, her hands flailing around excitedly.

momo nods along, and then she seems to get a moment of realisation, her eyebrows raising and mouth opening in the shape of an o, an "ahh!" escaping her.

sana looks back to you, "thank you! you so smart!"

you still don't really follow their conversation but you nod, shyly rubbing the back of your neck, "it's okay."

"we sit here?"

"sorry?"

sana frowns, an adorable pout forming on her lips, thinking over how to say what she wants. then she grabs momo's hand, gesturing between the both of them, "friends!", then she grabs your hand, gesturing between the three of you now, "friends?"

your hand is sweaty against sana's, you take note of how soft it feels against yours, heart stumbling a little over itself. you nod sheepishly, not expecting sana to grin, pulling you into a hug immediately.

momo goes to grab her things, and then settles into the seat on your other side, "sorry for her. she very huggy."

sana pouts, flicking momo's forehead playfully after she pulls away from you, "you like it too."

momo giggles, rolling her eyes.

things were moving so fast your brain was playing catch up. you knew the people here were a lot more affectionate than back home, but you still felt your heart racing from being in such close proximity with sana, and now momo too, the both of them squeezed against you and conversing lightly in broken korean and japanese while waiting for the teacher. it wasn't unwelcome though, this was the first time someone had asked you in such a straightforward way to become friends, it was refreshing, definitely better than the trainees in your vocal and dance classes who refused to interact with you at all.

when the teacher finally comes, he looks a little surprised at the change in seating, but doesn't comment on it, diving straight into the lesson.

sana and momo both try their best to keep up, sana remains fully engaged in the lesson, asking plenty of questions, while momo is the opposite. she's easily distracted, when the teacher goes on one of his off topic rants, she starts doodling in her textbook again, you repress a laugh at the stick men she drew frolicking around in fields with rainbows and stars. you can't help yourself but bring your pen to her page, adding a little deranged dog to her drawing.

she looks at you in surprise, but lets you finish, giggling at the result and drawing in some fur for the dog, fixing up your sorry attempt at a puppy.

the class finishes uneventfully after that. momo yawns, closing her book with relief while sana stretches, standing up and grinning down at the both of you.

momo looks at her warily, squinting, "what?"

"what?"

"you have not good look on your face. what you do?"

"what do you mean momoring?" sana's grin only grows wider.

"i don't want to get in trouble again."

"you woooon't. what you think y/n? want to sneak out get fried chicken and beer?"

momo groans, slumping down on her desk, muttering to herself in japanese while sana laughs at her reaction.

you look between the both of them, raising an eyebrow. you knew you shouldn't, but you hadn't had real food in so long, the company's strict diet and weight requirements always on all of your minds. and you hadn't really gone out and explored korea since you arrived. you'd pretty much been confined to the dorms and the company building, eating cafeteria food and living the same routine everyday, you knew the korean trainees would often get together after late night practices and have small gatherings the company wouldn't know about, but you were never invited to those.

you grin cheekily, "you have a plan?"

sana laughs, pulling you up to stand, hugging you once again in glee, "yay!! i knew we good friends! of course, it's not the first time momoring and i have snuck out." she pulls away with a wink.

momo grumbles behind you, slowly standing up as well, "last time you got us caught you said we were helping 'clean the streets'. stupid. we had extra exercise requirements for two weeks."

"we won't get caught this time! i promise! and if we do i pay for all our food."

momo perks up at that, eyeing sana, then holding out her pinky.

sana giggles, linking their pinkies and then dragging momo by their pinkies, and you by your hand out of the classroom and back towards the dorms to get ready.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"sana- move!" momo grunts, shuffling around in clothes too big for her, a cap that dipped over her eyes, and a mask to hide her face.

"shh! you're gonna get us caught!"

"no you are!"

"okay they're gone let's go." sana slinks forward in similar attire, careful to avoid the security cameras, flapping a sleeve behind her frantically to gesture the both of you to follow. momo glances at you, rolling her eyes but smiling, tiptoeing forward and following sana.

you're body is surging with adrenaline. you had always been a 'good' kid. you've never tried sneaking out of anywhere before. you were also trying to hold in your laughter at how stupid the three of you must look, the sunglasses covering your eyes while indoors and at 9pm at night glazing your vision.

you make it halfway across the main entrance, almost to the exit, hands shoved in your pockets.

"... y/n?"

you pause, heart pounding. the two in front of you stop as well, sana looks back at you in alarm.

you decide the best course of action is to pretend you didn't hear them. after all, they couldn't be sure you were yourself right now right? the absurd disguises made sure of that. you take another step forward.

"y/n what are you wearing? you look like vector from despicable me."

curse sana for lending you that naruto cosplay. you forgot how visible your disguise was.

you turn on your heel slowly, terribly embarrassed to have been discovered like this, mind scrambling to come up with an excuse for what the three of you were doing.

but you're stopped in your tracks when you realise who was teasing you with a wide grin, two front teeth on display. she laughs when she finally sees you, it's loud and bright, it'd scare you away if you hadn't already heard it plenty of times from her when she had found you in the practice room that day.

"you look so stupid. wait-" she whips out her phone, and before you can protest, she snaps a quick picture, laughing at her phone after checking the result.

"nayeonn!"

"i can't believe you tried to sneak out wearing that."

you pout, crossing your arms protectively over yourself, "i wasn't trying to sneak out!"

she raises an eyebrow, "yeah and i'm not gorgeous." she jokes sarcastically, before peeking over your shoulder and nodding behind you, "and who are those two losers behind you?"

you turn, taking off your ridiculous sunglasses and waving to let them know you were fine and to join you. sana tilts her head curiously, moving back towards you, tugging along momo who takes off her cap, blowing her hair out of her face.

"oh! you're the japanese duo that came here on the same day! i'm sorry i don't remember your names but i saw you dance and you were incredible." she directs the last part at momo, who blushes at the compliment, nodding and hiding behind her hair. sana grins though, bowing down and bringing momo down with her.

"i'm sana! this is momo!"

"nayeon. it's nice to meet you both." nayeon smiles sweetly, bowing as well and gesturing for them to stand up. "where were you guys headed?"

"chicken and beer! you want to come?" sana quips happily, excited to meet anyone new.

"how were you guys going to get beer?" nayeon jokes with a smirk.

sana tilts her head confusedly, she looks adorable in the clothes that drown her.

"you're all underage right?"

sana looks to you in confusion, not seeming to understand what underage meant.

"ah- none of us are 18..." you gesture to the three of you.

sana makes a sound of exclamation, not having thought about that particular detail.

nayeon laughs brightly, finding the japanese girl's antiques endearing. "good thing you have me then! c'mon. i know the best place as well, and no one from the company will go around there so we won't get caught." she winks, pulling a mask and cap out of her jacket pocket and slipping it on.

you blink, surprised at the change in events.

nayeon shrugs, "always gotta be ready if we're training to be idols right?" you can see the smirk in her eyes, before she charges forward without an answer and leads the four of you into the night.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

your shoulder hurt.

there's another bout of laughter, you flinch, preparing yourself.

sure enough, nayeon's large hands come clapping down on your arm, you wince, trying to smile your way through the sting of each slap.

it doesn't help when sana realises why you look constipated, cracking up even more pointing at you with a hand over her mouth, which makes nayeon laugh again for absolutely no other reason than that you were all wasted.

"nayeonnie calm down- you're going to kill y/n-" sana chokes out between giggles.

nayeon blinks, looking at you, face brightly flushed. she pouts, leaning in close, "what did i do?"

you flush even brighter, blaming the alcohol and not the way nayeon's eyes are glued to your lips, squinting and trying to focus on one part of your face only with her wobbly vision. you push her off of you gently, rubbing at your shoulder with a grimace, "you hit people when you're drunk.""

nayeon coos, chasing after you, "awwwwwh did i hurt you? poor baby. here lemme kiss it better." nayeon purses her lips together, pushing her face towards you while you whine and laugh, trying to push her away.

sana pipes up at the word, "kiss? who are we kissing? i wanna kiss!"

momo snorts, playing around with the bottle cap of the soju you had gotten to after you had all decided the beer wasn't enough. her face is probably the most flushed of you all, but she was also probably the most sane of you all currently. "don't you kiss enough?"

sana whines, poking momo's cheek, "no! you don't let me! c'mere-" she leans forward, tickling momo's sides, trying to get her to let her defenses down and land one on her. momo laughs, pushing sana off, scrambling away in urgency.

you aren't faring much better, but then you get an idea, "sanaaa! kiss nayeon! she's trying to get me!"

sana turns to you both, and she's never one to turn down a kiss so she leans across the table, yanking nayeon's head towards her and pulling her away from you. but what surprises you is when she plants a sloppy kiss right on the eldest's lips.

you look at momo, expecting to see a similar look reflected, but she rolls her eyes, calmly picking up the bottle and bringing it to her lips again to take a sip.

they break away with a smack, exaggerated on sana's end who giggles and licks her lips, grabbing the bottle from momo and taking a sip as well.

nayeon blinks, her brain seeming to catch up with her body 2 seconds late. when she realises what happens, she stands up abruptly with a screech, her metal chair scraping against the floor in pain. you wince at the sound, but laugh when you catch her face, now brighter than momo's, hand over her mouth in shock. sana and momo easily join you, cackling as nayeon flails around, sounds coming out of her mouth in incoherent phrases.

it seems the shop owner has had enough of the four of you though.

"yah! out! all of you! bedtime! 2am now! go go!" you all continue laughing as you're ushered out of your seats. you're all too drunk to notice the way the shop owner has fondly been watching you for the last few hours, cleaning around and keeping her shop open later than she normally opens, recalling the days she was young and stupid as well. she shouts at you while she pushes you out the door, but she also shoves a plastic bag of takeaway chicken into your hands as she pushes you out, telling you all to go home and not to cause too much trouble at this time of night.

you all laugh and thank her, sana even goes to kiss her cheek, cooing at how adorable she was in her apron and wrinkles.

when you've finally calmed down and take in the chill air of the night sky, you shiver a little, the alcohol sloshing around in your body not enough to keep you warm.

momo sidles up next to you, linking your hands together easily and pulling you against her.

you grin at her, tightening your grip around her hand that she's shoved into the warm pocket of her jacket pocket.

the peace is quickly disrupted when nayeon sends a stumbled kick your way from behind you. she misses though, tripping over herself and almost falling face-flat onto the ground save for sana hooking onto her waist quickly, pulling her back up with a laugh.

nayeon wraps an arm around sana's shoulder, thanking her for the support. "yah. you two. kiss. i can't be the only one who had to kiss someone today."

sana pouts, "why do you say that like you didn't like it?"

nayeon sputters, squinting up at sana from her slouched position, her weight almost entirely leaning on sana, "no i didn't- i didn't mean it like- no but- ugh-"

sana giggles, shuffling around so she can accommodate nayeon better.

momo turns her head, "no way loser. you two only kissed because you're both so kissy."

"what does that even mean?!"

"sana kisses everyone when she's drunk. and you're just as bad nayeon. i don't know how you can go drinking with just one person. you need at least 2 or 3 to hold you up when you get drunk." momo teases, sticking out her tongue.

"respect your elders you little shit!"

you all laugh at that, nayeon may have gotten you all drinks but she wasn't that much older than you. and she looks hilarious bringing a fist up in the air and waving it around like a little angry old lady, too much spite in too little a body, it was cute.

"wait... so the only one i haven't kissed yet is y/n?"

you freeze, ready to make a run for it at the earliest sign of danger.

nayeon grins, pushing sana off of her and towards you, "let's change that!"

your eyes widen, legs tensing up, ready to rush forward, you pull your intertwined hands out of momo's pocket. but right as you're about to take off, momo smirks, yanking you backwards and spinning you around until you're met with the soft, ready lips sana has wating for you.

"mmf-!"

your eyes are squeezed shut when momo spun you, terrified of falling onto your face, but now all you can feel is her hand still holding yours, sana's coming up to steady your hips, her lips pressing against yours gently.

all too quickly, she breaks away with a giggle, licking her lips again. it must be a habit.

you stare at her dumbly, mouth hanging open, lips tingling with the faint taste of strawberry soju.

nayeon has ended up on the floor without anyone supporting her, cackling loudly and pointing at your dumbfounded look.

momo stifles a few chuckles as well, her hand still wrapped tightly around yours.

sana simply smiles, closing your mouth with her hand, brushing a thumb over your jaw in the process, then tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

you flush up immediately, whipping around and staring at the floor, the tips of your ears bright red.

sana laughs, cooing, "awwwwh! you're so cute! look at her guys! she's blushing!"

"no!" you speak up indignantly, voice squeaky, "i'm just drunk!"

"you're more red than me!" momo joins in, trying to get a look at your face better with a laugh, her nose scrunching up in glee.

you whine, trying to pull away from her, but she doesn't let your hand go, so you end up pulling her along with you as you stomp forward, eager to get home and away from your teasing new friends.

sana laughs, running after you both.

that left nayeon, still on the floor in the middle of the street at 3am. "guys! hey guys! don't forget me! come back! hey- wait!"

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

the four of you grow easily close after that night. and it helps that by chance, you're all allocated into the same dorm room for the new year. it's definitely a surprise since nayeon was one of the company's top trainees, and the rest of you were foreigners and had only been around for about 2 months. you'd heard it was meant to help the three of you get better at korean, having to converse in korean daily with a korean roommate so that existing friends like sana and momo couldn't get away with just talking in japanese when they were in the comfort of their dorms. plus, it seemed both sana and momo were making a name for themselves amongst the trainees as well for their bubbly idol personality and raw talent respectively.

"how's this?" nayeon comes out of the bathroom and does a little twirl, her hair already curled and makeup applied dazzlingly. she's wearing a pretty silk white dress with little blue bows decorating it, matching the blue ribbons she's used in her hair.

sana squeals, immediately bounding upwards and poking at her. "it's so cute! when did you get this?!"

"the last family trip i went on! are you sure it's okay?" nayeon pouts.

but then momo yells out from behind her, still doing her eyeliner in your shared bathroom mirror, "you look fine stop digging for compliments."

sana laughs cheerily when nayeon sputters back at her, latching onto the older girl and pecking her cheek, "it's okay nayeonnie i don't mind. i'll praise you anytime you want." there's a slight lilt to her voice, she finishes with a wink.

nayeon blushes immediately, but tries to cover for it by turning to you. "y/n? what do you think?"

you roll your eyes from your spot on sana's bed, more focused on applying the dark blue nail polish on your hands. "it's pretty."

"just pretty?" you can hear the pout in her voice.

you sigh exasperatedly, looking up at her in mock annoyance. "you're gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, exquisite, glamorous, everyone at the party will have their eyes on you."

you can hear momo fake gag from the bathroom, and sana bursting into giggles. but nayeon crosses her arms, frowning, "you see when you list it out like that it makes it a little harder to believe."

"ugh nayeon! you look good! what more do you want from me!"

she laughs, leaning down to squish your cheeks together affectionately, "thanks darling, i love my little thesaurus."

you grumble, careful not to get the drying nail polish onto sana's sheets. sana comes back to her position next to you, grabbing your hands and starting to blow on your fingers.

"what time does the party start again?" momo yells out from the bathroom, slipping into her outfit for the night.

"like... 10 minutes ago but it's fine. no one interesting is gonna get there on time." nayeon squeezes in next to you as well, leaning her head on your shoulder.

"that's because you're only interested in yourself."

"hey! i can revoke my invite to all of you!"

"you wanted us to go because you'd be, quote, bored out of your mind with all those mindless prepubescent boys trying to get in your pants! besides, we all got our own invites anyway."

"what?! why didn't you tell me?!"

"you were so cute thinking you were doing us all a solid or something for inviting us." sana speaks up with a giggle, "we couldn't break that!"

"you couldn't sana! i wanted to tell her and shove it up her proud ass but you just love to watch cute girls fumble around don't you?"

sana giggles again, going back to blowing on your nails.

but then momo steps out of the bathroom, clad in a very short bodycon dress, her makeup and hair fully done, the dress cutting open at her midriff showing off toned abs, pretty gold necklace decorating her neck, outlining her collarbones and the plunging neckline that pretty much ended at her belly button, tying together the cutout.

the three of you all stare at her, eyes roaming over the mass of skin, mouths open in... shock.

sana licks her lips slowly, eyes not bothering to meet her best friend's again, "you look... good."

momo smirks, imitating what's meant to be nayeon, "just good?"

nayeon bristles then, snapping out of her stupor, "shut up momo. don't you think you're... showing a bit too much skin?"

momo starts looking around for her shoes, bending over criminally with her back to you all, it's almost comedic how all three of your gazes lock onto her ass immediately. "this is nothing compared to some of the outfits they put us in when we do our showcases. besides, it's not like you can talk." she snorts, turning back around with heels in hand, her smirk never leaving her face as she watches the three of you, knowing exactly what you were doing.

"yeah but you'll... get cold."

"it's an indoor party."

"shut up!"

she laughs, standing back up after slipping into her shoes, "okay! ready to go?"

you gulp, standing up shakily, forcing you to look at her face and not ogle your friend's very attractive body. "y-yeah. took you all long enough."

"you finished practice earlier than us, you had more time to get ready. now let's go losers."

she leads the charge out your tiny shared room, nayeon gets up and follows grumpily. you look back down to sana who's still got her gaze locked on the way both girls' hips sway with each step. you roll your eyes, poking sana and dragging her up with a laugh. sana lets you, her brain short-circuiting, only able to be tugged along.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you honestly had no idea how a party of this scale went unnoticed by the company. there were so many trainees you recognised, and even a few idols that were lesser known to the public. it was at someone's house, you don't remember who's, but there was no way you could've gotten away with a party this size back at the dorms.

music was blasting, drinks were being circulated, people were dancing and grinding up against each other. it wasn't a surprise to see the amount of rowdiness going on, that's what happened when you force a bunch of teenagers to undergo strict training and diet regimes, and forbid anything that could get anyone into any sorts of controversies in the future in case you made it and got famous.

the four of you had naturally split up when you arrived, being pulled away by different friends and people wanting to greet you. you spot momo on the dance floor already, not that it was difficult to seperate her from everyone else. sure you were all trainees and went through mandatory dance class, but everyone knew momo was something else when it came to dance. she had an aura about her, one that made people back up and give her space, circling her on the crowded floor and watching in awe of her moves.

you can hear nayeon before you spot her. she's with jihyo and jeongyeon, two other trainees that she was set to debut with, and granted, was naturally close with. they were all top-notch trainees at the company, everyone knew of them, knew that the next group coming out of jyp would most likely include the three of them.

that left sana, someone people naturally gravitated towards. her adorable happy-go-lucky energy was infectious, it was impossible not to fall in love with her at first sight. she was currently surrounded by a crowd of people, laughing and smiling, face tinged with the pink of alcohol.

eventually, someone gets people together for a game of spin the bottle. you're all sitting in a big circle in a room away from the rest of the party, chattering excitedly with the buzz of liquors, an empty soju bottle laying in the middle of you all.

"okay party people! game time!" the original host of the party, jackson wang, saunters in with a charming grin, plopping himself down between mark and jeongyeon. "so i'm gonna assume we all know how spin the bottle works. and if you don't... well you'll find out! who wants to go first!"

everyone looks around at everyone, antsy, unwilling to go first. jackson rolls his eyes, "alright losers. guess it's me." he bends forward and spins the bottle. everyone watches with anticipation, breaths held.

it lands on one of the younger trainees, ryujin. she makes a face of disgust, cringing, but jackson ignores it, quickly swooping in and kissing her.

when they break away, ryujin quickly downs her cup of whatever concoction of alcohol she has, wiping at her lips and pushing him off of her playfully. jackson laughs, backing away and returning to his seat. ryujin goes forward, places her fingers on the bottle, then spins it.

again, you all wait in anticipation, eyes locked on the dizzying movement, until it slowly lands on bambam.

ryujin groans again, bambam looks like he just won the lottery. "nope! i'm not kissing one of you gross guys again, jackson tasted like he doesn't know what a toothbrush is. gimme a dare."

there are shouts of disapproval, but ryujin ignores them all, sitting on her haunches, unmoving.

"okay just because you made that totally untrue comment about my breath, i'll give you one worse than kissing bam." jackson looks around the room, thinking to himself, mark whispers something in his ear and they both snicker, "alright. suck someone's toes for 10 seconds."

"pfft is that meant to be a dare?" ryujin easily leans forward, pulling yeji's sock off and immediately wrapping her lips around her toe. yeji squeals, trying to pull her foot away but ryujin is persistent amongst everyone's hollering and cheering, counting down the seconds.

she finally breaks away with a laugh, making a show of licking her lips while yeji blushes, yelling at her and slapping her arm, shoving her drink into her hand and making her rinse out her mouth.

bambam shyly goes forward next, he spins the bottle, and it lands on nayeon. his eyebrows almost get lost in his hairline with how far up they go, his head shooting up and looking at nayeon who was leaning on jihyo heavily, still laughing at the whole ryujin-yeji situation.

his boys clap him on the back with a cheer, pushing him forward towards the older girl. nayeon blinks, turning her attention to him, realising he had spun her.

her eyes meet yours for a second, and then they flit around the room, landing on sana and momo respectively, it's so quick you wouldn't have noticed if you weren't already locked on her gaze.

bambam moves forward shyly, kneeling in front of her, unsure of what to do. she leans back a little as he comes closer, putting on an encouraging smile, looking up at him.

he takes a breath, then dives down, you can hear their teeth clacking as he accidentally goes in too aggressively, nayeon cringes, but tries to make up for it by tilting her head, pressing her lips against his, trying to urge him to slow down, but bambam moves almost too eagerly, like he's eating her up. in the end, nayeon has to gently push him off of her to get him to stop, he looks dazed as he collapses back in his spot, bright blush on his face all the way down to his neck. nayeon tries to look polite and laughs it off, moving forward and quickly spinning the bottle to move everyone along.

only for it land on momo.

"oh hell no." they both say simultaneously, blushing furiously and gaping at each other from across the circle. you catch sana's eye, supressing a laugh as you look between the two of them.

"dare! i pick dare!"

sana perks up, taking the opportunity immediately, "okay i dare you to kiss momo!"

the boys around the circle all laugh, agreeing with her energetically, starting up a chant. momo sends a death glare towards sana, who just sticks out her tongue at her, making an exaggerated kissy face mimicking momo and nayeon kissing.

with no choice, nayeon shuffles forward, crouching down in front of momo who can't look her in the eye.

"don't fall in love with me or anything hirai."

that gets momo to snort, meeting nayeon's equally nervous gaze, "as if i'll be able to think about anything other than getting rid of the taste of you-" she's cut off, nayeon leaning down to plant her lips on her in haste.

momo blinks at first in confusion, then she's closing her eyes and circling a hand around nayeon's neck, pulling her in just a little closer and returning the kiss. they ignore the roar of the crowd, nayeon thinks to herself how much better momo's lips felt against her own than bambam's teeth did.

that thought quickly rips her away though, scrambling backwards and wiping at her lips in mock disgust, laughing breathily with a pretty blush adorning her face.

momo looks on after her, her expression unreadable. after things settle down again, momo leans forward, spinning the bottle.

sana doesn't even give anyone the chance to think, sliding forward and into momo's lap, cupping her cheek and bringing their lips together. momo reacts automatically, hands circling sana's hips and slotting them together, like they've done this countless times in the past.

watching nayeon and momo kiss was silly, fun, but this, this was something different. you glance at nayeon, who has a hand at her lips, staring at sana and momo make out in front of everyone, eyebrows furrowed slightly. you look back, swearing you can see the hint of a pink tongue poke out from sana, momo's hands tightening around the other girl's hips in reaction, before sana finally breaks away. she stands up, sauntering back to her spot with a proud grin, people are cheering, throwing confetti, bowing down to her as if she just brought rain down in a drought. she thrives in the attention. momo on the other hand is breathing heavily, expression shielded behind her hair, biting her lip and clenching her thighs together.

sana does a round around the inside of the circle, giggling and skipping along in her little pink slip. she finally arrives back to her original spot, bending down and spinning the bottle.

it lands on one of the younger trainees, dahyun. sana smiles sweetly, crawling forward. she whispers a few words to dahyun, who nods shyly, breath picking up, then sana leans in, just pecking her before pulling away again. nothing like the kiss she shared with momo.

you decide you need a drink.

at this point in the night, the kitchen is thankfully much less chaotic. most people are playing the game, on the dance floor, or passed out around the house.

you spoon a ladle of the jungle juice that probably has ludicrous amounts of liquor in it into your cup, gulping it down thirstily. you don't know why you suddenly felt so stifled in that room, feeling hot even in the little cropped top and skirt you're wearing.

"y/n?"

you turn, of course it's your three roommates, all looking very concerned for you.

"hey. you okay?" sana comes up to you first, cupping your cheeks, placing the back of her hand on the front of your forehead.

you wave her off with a chuckle, "yeah i'm fine guys. why did you leave the game?"

"because you left." momo says simply, taking the cup you're still holding in your hand away from you, sniffing the contents.

"you didn't have to do that. i was just taking a water break."

"riiiight. water." momo raises an eyebrow unimpressively, pouring the rest of your drink down the sink nearby.

"i'm fine though seriously! you guys should get back to the game."

"you're not coming?" sana pouts.

"not really feeling it anymore."

"do you wanna go home?" nayeon speaks up then, coming forward to lean on sana's back, her face resting on sana's shoulder, looking up at you with wide eyes.

"what? no! you guys have fun. seriously, stop worrying about me i'm fine!"

"we can't have fun without you."

"i'm sure you can."

"no. we're not the four of us without you. we're just... the three of us." sana tilts her head like a confused puppy, her proximity to you making you dizzy, you're not sure if it's the alcohol, or the fact that she was so close, but you can only focus on her lips, which then remind you of the way her lips had been on momo's lips, that had been on nayeon's lips. yeah you were definitely a little more than dizzy.

"wooahh- too much to drink i think." momo sidles up next to you, catching your waist, and holding you up against her. she jokes, "didn't think you'd be the same kinda drunk as nayeon y/n. i don't know if we have enough personnel to take care of the both of you."

you groan, pushing yourself back onto your own two feet, leaning back against the kitchen bench, "don't compare me to that trainwreck."

"hey!"

you all laugh, sana's hands coming down to squeeze nayeon's that are around her waist, turning to peck her cheek.

"i'm getting tired anyway. let's go home."

"what? guys no- you don't have to do this for me- you can stay-"

"we're not doing this for you idiot. i wanna sleep too. i'm gonna be grumpy tomorrow morning if we don't get enough sleep and i have dance practice with jyp."

"you're always grumpy in the mornings momoring."

"no i'm not!"

"yes you are." nayeon quips.

"shut up or i'll kiss you again im."

that makes everyone pause, processing the words in their head. momo doesn't even seem to realise what she's said, staring fiercely back at nayeon, only focused on winning their little bouts of banter.

you all stand in the kitchen in awkward silence, looking nervously at each other, unsure of what to say.

eventually sana speaks up, laughing edgily. "are y/n and i interrupting something orr...?"

"what?! no?!" they both speak up, protesting loudly.

you laugh, trying to ease the tension that seems to have come out of nowhere. "i could've said that about you and momo sana. that was some kiss." that was probably not the right thing to say to ease the tension.

"that's nothing. sana and i kiss all the time." momo brushes you off, shrugging, but sana looks hurt at the her words.

"nothing?"

"wait what do you mean all the time?"

momo blushes, looking between sana and nayeon. but sana's easily emotional feelings, amplified by her intoxication, have her eyes watering, sending momo straight into panic mode. "wait no- that's not what i meant satang-"

"then what did you mean?" sana frowns, you weren't sure if she was genuinely angry now or still playing around.

"i don't- satang i'm stupid we know this i just say stupid shit- things just come out of my mouth i didn't mean it like that-"

"then in what way did you mean it momoring?" her tone is clipped, throat scratchy.

"satang this isn't fair-"

"what isn't?"

"c'mon- satang please-"

all of a sudden, sana lurches forward, pressing her lips against momo's, trapping her against the kitchen counter. nayeon falls onto you without sana holding her up, you quickly grab her waist, supporting her, but both your eyes move back to sana and momo quickly.

they're kissing for real this time, not like when they were putting on a show for everyone else during the game. and you're both close enough you can hear the wet smacks of lips against lips, the little gasps and whimpers, every breath they take in between each kiss. momo's hands have come up to tangle in sana's hair, pulling her closer, their bodies meeting and moving against each other like they were made for each other.

you squirm slightly under nayeon, hands gripping her waist tighter at the sight, the dizzy feeling from earlier returning full force. you try and force yourself to focus on something else, it was probably a bit weird, to be so close, staring as your two closest friends made out, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away, your gaze lidded at the rushed pace, tongues clashing and being sucked into mouths.

you can tell nayeon is feeling very similarly, her hot breath hitting your lips at a faster pace than normal, laboured with excitement.

there's a crashing sound from upstairs where they were playing the game, followed by loud whooping and cheering. it pops the bubble that's formed between the four of you. sana breaks away from momo, panting, hands having come in to hold onto the other girl's hips, pushing her into the bench further having squeezed their bodies together as close as possible.

"w-was that- nothing?" her voice comes out hoarse and in a whisper, still catching her breath.

momo can't speak, her eyes still tightly shut, shaking her head in response.

"then what was it?"

momo groans, knocking her forehead against sana's gently, "don't ask me that sana." her voice is also laced with shaky breaths.

"why not?"

"it's confusing. you know i can't handle thinking about that much."

"am i confusing?"

she shakes her head again, but then points to you and nayeon, drawing a circle between the four of you, "this is confusing."

that gives sana pause, thinking over the possible implications of momo's words, taking the chance to catch her breath. then she looks up to the both of you, her eyes dragging up from the way you're still clutching nayeon's waist tightly, before meeting yours. the eye contact sends shivers down your spine, even when her eyes leave yours to stare into nayeon's, you can still feel all your senses on alert, breath held, tensions at an all time high.

sana's head tilts again, considering the both of you. then, she seems to come to a decision, and she's just as quick as she always is.

before you realise it, her lips are on yours, hand cupping your cheek, the other wrapped around nayeon to keep her there.

it's nothing like that first kiss you shared weeks ago. that was a simple peck, there and gone. this time, sana's moving her lips against yours, fingers caressing your cheek, down to your neck, lips soft and wet, panting directly into your mouth.

momo forces her eyes open, staring at you and sana kiss with hooded eyes. hands coming back down to grip the bench behind her, knuckles almost turning white from how hard she was holding onto it.

sana breaks away from you, but without taking a breath, turns her head, and starts kissing nayeon.

nayeon is only slightly surprised, almost all her weight leaning on you, gripping the back of your top tightly, reciprocating sana's kiss with as much vigor as sana gives.

when they finally break apart, you're all still breathing heavily, looking between each other, tension surmounting, thousands of words unsaid.

it's nayeon that speaks up first this time. she whistles lowly, letting out a small chuckle, "so... that wasn't... nothing."

"no." momo agrees. their eyes meet.

sana rolls her eyes, getting impatient, "so do you two wanna fuck or do you wanna fight?"

neither of them protest this time, they don't even laugh it off, you can all feel the very real pressure in the air.

"dunno. i think i need a..." momo licks her lips, "another taste to know." then she leans forward, capturing nayeon's lips with her own, straight up moaning at the contact. your thighs clench together at the sound. all of this was getting too much for your dumb little drunk brain. you had been spectating more than you had been involved, and it'd be a lie if you said you weren't turned on by it all.

nayeon and momo's kiss is different from sana's kisses. they're both aggressive, fighting for dominance, their natural banter translated onto their lips, grunts and gasps, trying to one-up each other.

eventually, they break away, but momo transitions straight over to you.

"need to compare." she mumbles lowly before attaching her lips to yours. she's much more gentle with you, teasing your mouth open before dipping her tongue inside, you whine against her, hips moving of their own accord when they grind up into nayeon who's still leaning on you for support.

you hear nayeon swear under her breath, regaining some of her drunk-addled consciousness to grip your hips roughly to stop you from doing that again. but that's the end of her control, she leans in, close enough so momo and you can both hear her, just inches away from your mouths moving against each other.

"my turn."

momo obliges, breaking away from you, only for nayeon to latch on. you can still hear momo's rough breathing next to your ear while your lips start moving against nayeon's, once again, with a completely different kissing style to momo and sana. she's slow and languid, pressed against your lips until you're just about to be out of breath, before breaking away and coming back in. she finishes with a little kitten lick on your upper lip, you whine, pushing your hips against her hands as she growls, pushing you back into the counter.

sana's spent the entire time watching all of you, having enough time to even pour herself another much needed drink. she swirls around the contents of her cup, downing it and speaking up again. "home?"

"home." you all unanimously agree.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you wake up hazily with a pounding headache, vision blurred, mouth dry.

you squeeze your eyes shut again, the dim brightness of the room too much for you. you reach blindly for your glasses that should be next to your pillow on the top bunk of the bunk bed you share with sana. instead, your palm comes colliding with something that most definitely was not your glasses.

your eyes shoot open, squinting and trying to focus, as the person you've hit groans.

"10 more minutes."

"...momo?"

momo groans again, burying her face into the pillow you're sharing, hair messily coming to cover her eyes and furrowed eyebrows.

suddenly, memories of last night come flying back to you. you look down alarmingly, lifting the blanket slightly to find yourself very naked, with an equally naked momo curled around you, arm thrown lazily over your side, legs intertwined.

you also realise that this was not your bed. you were on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed opposite the one you shared with sana, this was nayeon's bed. now even more confused, you slowly turn your body, trying your best to not disturb momo who mumbles something while you shuffle around the bed, before pulling you closer into her.

the sudden feeling of her chest now pressed against your bare back surprises you, even though you knew you were both naked. you try your best to not think about it, squinting to look around the room for where nayeon could be if you were in her bed.

you didn't have to look far though, cuddled up on sana's bed right opposite you, is sana and nayeon. and you'd bet they were in the same state of undress you and momo were.

your heart rate picks up as you recall the events of last night. you hadn't exactly done a lot of talking. as soon as you got home, you were all over each other, somehow, you had made the limited space, and the fact that not all four of you could fit on one little bunk bed work for all of you. your thighs tingle with the memory, a blush adorning your face.

eventually, it's sana that wakes up first, turning in her bed and blinking at you slowly.

you let her come to her senses, your eyes drifting down to where the blanket has fallen in her movement, breath catching at the sight of her pretty naked chest moving up and down slowly with each breath.

sana doesn't mind the attention, she never has, she yawns, stretching unabashedly, revealing more of herself, sitting up and letting the blanket fall to her waist. "morning." she grumbles out, her voice scratchy and deep with fatigue.

you gulp, unable to tear your eyes away from her, "morning."

nayeon whines as sana moves, slowly waking up as well, her arm curled around sana's thighs, trying to keep her still.

sana reaches around and pulls an oversized shirt on, patting her hair down. you're not sure if you're thankful or mournful she's covered up.

"what time is it?" nayeon's voice speaks up, laced with the same hoarse tiredness you're sure you all have right now.

sana picks up her phone on the bedside table next to her bed, you're not sure where yours is. "6."

"too early. come back to bed."

sana giggles then, putting her phone back down and running a hand through nayeon's hair. "don't you have a schedule to get to later?"

"yeah later."

"... we should talk anyway." she's strangely serious, normally the most energetic of you all, even in the mornings. it gets nayeon to look up, hair messy, squinting, placing her chin on sana's thigh.

sana smiles at the sight, you find nayeon's glasses next to her bed, reaching to hand it over.

sana murmurs her thanks, stretching out to grab it from you and gently placing it over the eldest's eyes. she looks adorable.

"how long have you been awake?" nayeon directs the question to you, finally able to see you were awake and looking at the two of them.

you smile, "not that long."

"is momo...?"

"still asleep."

"should we wake her?"

"she's not gonna like that."

"she needs to get up in a bit anyway. she has practice with jyp later remember?"

in agreement, you turn in your spot again, smiling at the sight of momo, mouth hanging open slightly, black hair framing her face. hesitantly, you nudge her shoulder. there's no response, so you nudge her again, a little harder. she groans, grabbing your hand and interlacing your fingers, "10 more minutes."

you giggle, "you said that 10 minutes ago."

she mumbles incoherently, drifting back into sleep.

you roll your eyes, nudging her again, except she doesn't respond. so you resort to different measures, your other hand that isn't being held captive by her, sneaks down between the two of you, and you start tickling her sides.

she squirms, blinking, waking up, whiny and giggly.

"s-stop- stop y/n- stop- i'm up i'm up!"

there's laughter from behind you as well, and momo sits up, pushing your hands away to stop you from your attack. not that she needed to, your eyes focused on something else as soon as the covers left her body. but of course, she bumps her head on the bunk, yelping, and cradling the top of her head, her hangover only worsening.

"okay okay guys- before we talk- i'm gonna need all of you to put on some clothes." you speak up, eyes still staring at momo's chest, almost drooling over her.

momo raises an eyebrow, before she shoves her chest into your face, rolling on top of you and squishing you.

"wha- momo- hey! no- mmf-"

you can hear everyone laughing as momo gets her revenge, pulling on the back of your neck while pushing out her chest, squeezing your face in between her breasts.

she finally breaks away once she's had enough, grinning and plucking a shirt down from her bunk on the top bed, pulling it loosely over her body.

"there. better?" she's kneeling on top of you, legs on both sides of your torso, shirt just long enough to reach past her top thighs. you gulp, eyes trained on the skin of her legs. momo rolls her eyes, pulling her shirt down a little more, coughing to get your attention.

your eyes snap back up to her with a blush.

she grins, leaning down easily and pecking you, rolling off of you again with one leg still thrown over your legs and cuddling into your side.

"morning losers."

"you're inconceivable momo."

"where'd you learn that word from? my ass?"

nayeon blushes, digging into sana's thighs. "throw me a shirt you little gremlin."

"get it yourself."

"you're on my bed!"

momo blinks, looking down at herself, finally coming to realise her surroundings. "oh."

sana laughs, pulls a shirt from under her bed and hands it to nayeon, "just borrow one of mine for now."

"sana i just got one for her!"

"give it to y/n."

"you just wanted to see her in your clothes."

"so?"

momo grumbles, handing the shirt she had grabbed for nayeon to you, helping you pull it on, hand skimming over the skin of your side and stomach.

“so…” you cough awkwardly, squirming under momo’s fingers that have stayed beneath your shirt, drawing random shapes into your skin.

“wait why do we need to talk?” she speaks up, leaning on her elbow, face on her palm looking across the room.

sana laughs, “is it simple for you now momoring?”

“is what simple?”

“i love your brain you idiot.”

“huh?” momo looks as confused as ever, too early to be thinking about anything.

sana takes a breath, gripping nayeon’s hand, “i like you. all of you.”

momo blinks, “we like you too.”

“i don’t want to kiss mina the way i kiss you momoring.”

“oh.” momo looks at sana, thinking, “but don’t you kiss everyone?”

sana laughs again, “is that what you think of me?”

she shrugs, “we kiss all the time.” she quickly corrects herself, not wanting to make the same mistake as last night, “and it doesn’t mean nothing. i’m sorry for saying that last night.”

the younger smiles, appreciates the effort, “you’re right. i kiss you all the time. no one else. i think you just get too dazed to notice anything else after we kiss.”

nayeon snorts, laughing loudly.

“what about dahyun last night?” you speak up, recalling the whispered words sana said to the younger trainee.

“we were playing spin the bottle. nayeonnie doesn’t like bambam even though she kissed him right?”

nayeon’s laughs turn into coughs very quickly, “absolutely the fuck not.”

“i was just making sure dahyunnie was okay with me kissing her, i told her it’d be really quick and i wouldn’t kiss her like i did momo. you don’t have to be jealous y/n.” she teases.

you whine, “i wasn’t!! i was just curious…”

“wait… is that why you left the game early last night?”

you feel your cheeks heat up, refusing to acknowledge the question.

“y/n!”

“what!”

“you should’ve told us! or me.”

“no way. i didn't even know what i was feeling. i just needed to get some air."

"will you tell us next time?"

"next time what?"

"next time you feel anything. even if you don't know what the feeling is."

you smile, pulling momo's hand that was creeping dangerously higher out from under your shirt, and interlocking your fingers, "yes. i will. i like you all too."

"blegh."

you and sana both look at nayeon with a frown.

"what?" she asks simply, crunching her nose up.

"nerd." sana pushes nayeon off her thigh, rolling her eyes.

"i'm not good with feelings!"

"get better with them then because i'm not dating an emotionless narcissist."

nayeon perks up, ignoring the insult, "we're dating?"

sana blushes, "i don't know. do you guys want to?"

"i do." you offer sana a reassuring smile, she's been leading the conversation this whole time and it took a lot of courage to do that. "momo, nayeon?"

"i don't think anything changes between us. except we all get to kiss and have sex whenever we want right?"

"momo!" you slap her hand lightly, she snickers.

"yeah. i'm pretty happy with that."

you all turn your gazes to nayeon.

she rolls her eyes, "as long as i get to top momo."

"just try it!"

"i will!"

you spend the rest of the morning, laughing, cuddling, doing things you'd always do together, but now with more freedom and less confusion.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

sometimes, you wish you had a different dream. a lot of the time really.

it hasn't been a good week. monthly trainee evaluations were coming up, and everyone could feel the pressure. there were rumours running around that jyp was preparing a survival show to debut the next girl group, and he was in the midst of picking trainees to participate, so everyone was on edge more than ever.

the one who had it the worst was momo.

you wince, curling in on yourself, knees to your chest, head resting on your knees, while you listen to your girlfriend dry heave in the bathroom.

nayeon's pacing around the room, obviously agitated, wishing she could do something to help. sana was in practice, you knew how hard she was working recently, she didn't need to worry about anything more right now.

"-stupid fucking trainers. they're all fucking blind she doesn't need to lose weight. they're gonna fucking kill her fuck-"

the bathroom door creaks open. both you and nayeon's heads snap towards it immediately.

nayeon rushes forward, holding momo up, caressing her cheek, brushing hair out of her face.

momo looks pale as a ghost. she's trembling, exhausted, you can barely stand to look at her without breaking down in tears. she knows. she knows how you all felt about her. so even when she's suffering the most, she still manages to crack a joke, "you care about me now im?"

"shut up momo. this isn't the time for that. you should lie down."

momo groans weakly, "can't. need to go to the gym."

nayeon explodes then, "what?! you are not going to the fucking gym right now momo. look at yourself! you're dying!"

"you still think i'm hot though right?" she grins. it has none of her usual sparkle, no mischief, just white teeth and lips.

"shut up or i'll kill you before you kill yourself."

the younger girl shrugs, you can see her bones with the movement.

"don't go to the gym. you already haven't eaten anything for the last five days. you haven't even drunk water for the last five days."

"yeah and i've still got 2 and a half kilos to lose."

"you don't- you shouldn't have to do that! you're skinny enough! you're going to die before you lose that weight!"

momo takes a shaky breath, you're surprised when a tear escapes her eye. even the fact that her body still has enough water to cry, and her not being the type of person to cry much in the first place, especially in front of other people, is shocking enough. she can't hold herself up any longer, collapsing onto the bed next to you. you open your arms immediately, lowering your legs, adjusting so she can lean all her weight on you. the feeling of her body against yours is terrifying. she's all bones. you can feel each rib, every pointy bone in her joints.

"i know. i'm so scared of dying." she whispers out eventually, still crying silently.

nayeon squeezes in as well, holding one of momo's hands, bringing it up to her lips to kiss it softly.

"i don't want to sleep. i'm terrified i won't wake up again. that i won't be able to see you guys again."

there are tears streaming down yours and nayeon's faces as well now.

"then eat. please darling. you need to eat." nayeon begs, wiping at her eyes furiously.

momo looks up at her weakly, smiling even now, "you know i can't. you'd both be doing the same thing if you were in my position right now."

you hold back choked sobs, burying your face into her neck. she can feel the tears staining it.

"it's okay. i'm gonna be okay. we're all going to be okay." her hand finds yours, squeezes both your hand and nayeon's.

"it's not fair. you're pretty much the same weight as me. why are they making you do this?"

she shrugs again, her sharp shoulders dig into your chest, "maybe they're testing me."

"for what?" nayeon says incredulously.

"dunno. if i have the willpower. if i'm ready to die for my dream. who knows."

"it's not willpower. it's fucking starvation. you're not even- you're all muscle. there's nothing to lose. the number on that scale is only higher because muscle is heavier than fat. and you wouldn't have all that muscle if you weren't the best dancer in this fucking company."

"you think i'm the best dancer?"

nayeon sighs frustratedly, "i know you are. darling... please. please just- some water- anything-"

"i can't. i'm sorry."

you've been talking in circles for days. the same thing, over and over again, begging her to eat, drink some water, rest. she's persistent though, hasn't broken once. when she first told you all the news, you were aghast, angry, but not surprised. you all thought you knew what it meant to lose 7 kilograms in a week, it was terrible, but it wouldn't be impossible. they wouldn't set you an impossible task. there has always been importance placed on your weight in this industry. they weighed you every morning before classes, tracked your progress, what you ate, how often you worked out, made sure you were kept consistently underweight, just how the public liked you. if they said momo needed to lose 7 kilograms to be attractive, to get a chance to debut, then she needed to lose 7 kilograms.

it wasn't until around the third day that you realised just what that meant though.

she collapsed in dance class. it wasn't an out of the ordinary experience, they put all of you on the edge of malnutrition, so there were always girls fainting left and right. but it was the first time for momo. and unlike the other girls who were instructed to eat better, momo was encouraged to keep doing what she was doing. because it was working, she was losing a kilogram everyday, more than that at the time because all her water weight was gone first.

so she came home that night proud that she had collapsed. they'd brainwashed her.

and so she kept on going. when all the trainees were off enjoying lunch, she had two fingers down her throat in the company bathrooms. when everyone retired to go home for the night and rest, she'd be running 10 miles an hour on the treadmill at the gym. naturally, her body started shutting down. she was losing too much weight too quickly, she wasn't getting the nutrients she needed to function as a human being, her body was in a state of panic, it was retaining as much weight as it could, it thought momo was in trouble, that it needed to protect her from all of these sudden changes, so it's natural she stopped losing weight at such a fast rate.

she didn't care if it was natural. all that mattered was that that number on the scale was 7 kilograms less than it was when she was first told to lose the weight.

on the outside, you could see how much it was affecting her, not just physically, but mentally as well. you were so confused what to do, you wanted to support her, and as a trainee who had the same dream as her, you understood why she was doing what she was doing, but you also didn't want her to die. you wanted your momo back, the one that smiled and laughed and played around with sana, secretly loving how affectionate sana was despite her outwardly 'cool girl' persona. you wanted the momo that teased and fought with nayeon, the only one that could bring nayeon back down to earth when she was getting too much in her head. you wanted the momo that kissed and pulled you into her whenever you shared a bed, that clung to you in the morning when you had to get up, whiny and pouty and sleepy. she was a shell of herself now. they had ripped the life out of one of your favourite people on the planet.

the door to your dorm clicks open softly.

you're all still cuddled up on the bed, squeezed against one another.

sana walks in, a tired smile on her face. it immediately disappears once she sees the tear streaks on all of your faces.

she rushes forward, cupping momo's cheeks, checking her pulse.

"i'm alive satang don't worry."

"did you eat?"

"you know i haven't."

sana's the most emotional of you all. just seeing her favourite people crying has her own tears welling up.

"oh satang not you too-"

"i can't help it. look at you momoring. why didn't you guys tell me?" she directs that to you and nayeon, frowning.

"you were at practice. we didn't want you to worry."

"momo is more important than practice."

"no satang. monthly evaluations are in two days. you're gonna make that lineup."

"i don't care if i make it if you die momo!"

"stop it. all this talk about- i'm not going to die guys. i'm fine, don't give up on me yet. i'm still here. if you all think i'm not going to make it then how am i supposed to think i'm going to make it?"

"that's not fair momo." you speak up, still cuddled into her neck. "this isn't- this isn't a daily worry. we live in the fucking twenty first century it's not normal to worry about whether or not you're going to live to see tomorrow."

"please momoring. here-" sana starts scrambling around in her bag, pulling out a thermos. "just one please-" she shakes out an ice cube, holds it out to momo in her palm.

momo stares at it, watches it melt, her mouth open, lips dry.

"please it's just one-"

"i-i... i can't-"

sana sobs, head falling into her elbow, crouched on the floor.

nayeon gently takes the ice cube from her, holds it in her palm, watching momo's gaze follow it.

"momo..."

"don't make me nayeon. please. i can't."

"i'm not. i won't." nayeon makes sure momo is still watching her, then she slowly takes the ice cube into her own mouth. she sucks on it, her cheeks hollowing out, melts it in her mouth slowly. when she's done, she opens her mouth, showing she's swallowed it all, then she asks, "do i look different?"

momo looks at her confused, "no?"

"if i went on that scale, how much do you think my weight will change?"

momo gets it, her face darkening again, "don't do this nayeon."

"just answer the question."

"...it probably wouldn't."

"right. look, here, y/n, have one." she reaches for sana's thermos, you hold out your hand, accepting the cold cube, then you pop it in your mouth, burying yourself back to your position in her neck, kissing the skin there gently with your cool lips.

she sighs on top of you.

nayeon's shaking another one out, popping it in her mouth, then she's giving one to sana who has her hand out, staring at momo with wide, hopeful eyes.

momo looks between the three of you, you all had so much love for her, you all just wanted the best for her. it was one ice cube. her body was screaming for it.

slowly, she holds her palm out.

you all stare at her with bated breath, almost in disbelief.

she smiles, "i've probably cried out enough for an ice cube right?"

sana lets out a broken laugh, nayeon's quick to shake out an ice cube into momo's palm.

momo stares down at it, brings it up to her mouth, takes a breath, then encloses her lips around it.

she sighs again, closing her eyes, reveling in the coolness of it, leaning back against you more.

you let her, leaning back fully until you're laid on the bed, spooning her. nayeon comes in behind you, squeezing herself against the wall, an arm coming up to rest on your midriff, her hand able to reach momo's side. sana clambers up as well, kissing momo's forehead and sniffling, looping an arm around her waist and snuggling in. after you had started dating you ended up pushing the two bunk beds in your room together so you could all share the bottom bunk, and so you could use the top bunks for storage space. it was still a little bit of a squeeze but the four of you didn't mind. you liked being as close as you all possibly could.

momo couldn't shake the thought that the ice cube melting down her throat would add on another kilogram or two, but she tried to focus on the feeling of her loved ones curled around her instead, falling into a restless sleep, praying she would be able to wake up and feel like this again.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

you grip your fork tightly, stabbing into your bland salad.

sana sits next to you, just as stiff, staring daggers across the cafeteria.

momo doesn't seem to mind though. she's happily munching away at her leaves. your heart softens a little at the sight, remembering how far she pushed herself last month, at least she was eating better now.

but then nayeon's laugh breaks through again, loud and bright. your jaw tightens at the sound.

"that's it." sana goes to stand but you tug on her hand, pulling her back down.

"don't."

"why not?" she spits, you've never seen her so livid. she was the happy charm of the company, people forget she could feel other emotions too.

"you'll cause a scene."

"good. then maybe he'll get his fucking baby hands off her."

"we can't. everyone will wonder why."

"why what?" she's still seething.

"why you have an issue with them. at worst they’ll think there’s something going on between you and nayeon. at best they’ll think you have a crush on him."

sana blanches, flicking her gaze over to you, “what?!”

“i don’t like it either. but we just have to trust her right?” you offer a smile, it’s a bit wonky and forced and sana sees straight through it, but it does get her to calm down a bit, taking a breath and slumping down in her seat.

“fine.”

“she loves you.”

“whatever.”

you smile genuinely at momo who looks at you in confusion, her mouth still full of lettuce. you shake your head, gesturing for her to keep eating and not to worry.

it’s not until later in the day when you have combined level dance practice that the issue comes up again. normally, he wouldn’t be near your class, sana and momo were naturally gifted dancers, so they were in higher level classes, and nayeon was an all-rounder, she was always in every top class to ensure she was around other people her level.

“they’d be cute wouldn’t they?” jihyo makes light conversation while you’re all stretching.

jeongyeon scoffs, “are you serious? he’s like… a baby.”

“he won’t be for that much longer.”

“gross dude!”

jihyo laughs.

“who are you guys talking about?” momo moves towards your group, mina in tow behind her.

“bambam and nayeon.”

“oh.” she drops down in a stretch, “what about them?”

jeongyeon snickers, teasing momo, “of course you didn’t know you airhead. bambam has a crush on her.”

“really?”

“yeah. did you see him almost wet himself when he got her during spin the bottle at jackson’s party?”

“it was so funny! and then when he went in to kiss her, that was so awkward! poor kid, i almost felt bad for him.”

“i don’t.” sana speaks up then, her teeth gritted, eyebrows furrowed, not even bothering to hide her gaze, staring at bambam and nayeon playing around in the mirror.

jihyo and jeongyeon exchange glances, confused.

“uhh… you okay sana?”

her eyes snap back up to meet jeongyeon’s, “yeah. fine, why?”

“you just seem a little… edgy.”

sana huffs, standing up again, “just tired.” she doesn’t say anything else, turning on her heel and leaving the training room.

momo catches your eye, tilts her head in question.

you shake your head, speaking up, “i’ll check on her.”

you jog outside, finding her near the water fountain.

“hey.”

“if you’re gonna lecture me again i don’t want to hear it.”

“no i wasn’t- i didn’t mean to lecture you at lunch. i just wanted to check on you.”

she sighs, sinking down into the cushion next to the fountain. you carefully sit next to her.

“i’m sorry. i just- i do trust her i just- i don’t trust him.”

“he’s just a kid sweetie.”

she scoffs, “yeah a hormonal pubescent teenage boy. they’re soo innocent, not like they don’t watch porn and jack off to every woman who even breathes near them.”

you’re about to reply when the door to the dance studio opens again, it’s nayeon.

she pokes her head out, looks up and down the hallway, and spots you, grinning. she jogs down to the both of you.

“hey! what are you guys doing here? class is about to start!”

sana doesn’t bother meeting her gaze, “oh so now you care about us?”

nayeon frowns, looks at you in confusion, you feel incredibly awkward, avoiding her eyes as well, “what’s going on?”

“nothing. go back to your boyfriend.”

“what?”

“you heard me.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about sana. c’mon, let’s go to practice.”

“you don’t? is it that natural for you to drape yourself all over him?”

“what?”

sana finally looks up, eyes red and angry, “bambam. you know he likes you. why do you entertain him?”

“what? sana he’s just a kid-“

sana stands then, throwing her hands up in frustration, you keep your gaze locked on your shoes, “a kid! i’m sick of hearing that! so what if he’s a fucking kid? we’re fucking kids. you all think it’s so impossible that the im nayeon would ever like someone like him so it shouldn’t be anything to worry about right?! you know what sounds more impossible?! that im nayeon is in a polyamorous relationship with three other girls. three other kids!”

“sana! calm down don’t be so loud-“

“no don’t you tell me to fucking calm down. you see? we have to hide this. us. we can’t even talk about us in public. i was okay with that! because i still had you all. you were all worth it! but you could get with bambam right now and people wouldn’t even bat an eye. they’d celebrate it, congratulate him for pulling the girl, all while we can’t even hold hands in public without people looking at us weird!”

“but i- i don’t want to be with him! i want to be with all of you!”

“then don’t fucking laugh at his jokes, touch his biceps, compliment his fucking hair!”

“but- honey that’s all harmless-“

“you still don’t get it! you-"

the door opens once again, and this time it's momo's head that pops out. she frowns when she sees all of you, walking up, tilting her head in question.

sana huffs, "whatever. i'm not feeling like practice today. tell the instructors i'm sick please."

"wait sana-"

she turns on her heel and struts briskly away.

nayeon sighs in frustration, running a hand through her hair, "what is going on with her?" she mutters to herself.

you frown, the events of the day culminating, you wish nayeon could see where you were coming from, "she told you. i think it was pretty obvious." you didn't mean to sound so clipped, your tone just slipped out that way.

nayeon looks down at you, you were never one to talk back, you'd kept more of your emotions to yourself. "are you angry with me too then?"

"that's not it nayeon. look i don't want to fight. let's just go to practice."

you stand up, brushing past her, unable to look her in the eye. you can hear momo questioning nayeon behind you before you open the door to the practice room again, thinking over sana's words that left a heavy feeling in your stomach.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

after practice, you and momo go and grab dinner while nayeon has to go to another vocal lesson.

momo's still blissfully unaware, talking about how the dance practice was and how much fun she had in such a big class with everybody. you listen to her ramble with a smile, not wanting to burst her bubble.

it's unavoidable when you go home later that night and find nayeon alone in your dorm, freshly showered and typing away at her phone.

momo skips in first, kissing nayeon and grabbing some clothes to shower into, heading into the bathroom right after.

nayeon looks at you then, putting her phone down, "hey."

"hi." you shrug off your bag, taking off your shoes.

"where's sana?"

"i thought she'd be home by now."

she frowns, "i haven't seen her since..."

you bite your lip, growing slightly concerned, "should we call her?"

"i don't know if she would pick up for me..."

"right..." you take out your phone, scrolling to sana's contact and pressing dial. it rings for a little, and just before you're about to give up, she picks up, giggly and breathy.

"y/n!! i miss you! what's up!"

you squint, there was a lot of background noise, "sana where are you?"

"out! i'm having fun!"

"where?"

"i don't really know but i'll be home soon! i promise! i love you!" she blows a kiss through the phone and then she hangs up.

you stare down at her contact picture, it was of her and a hamster plushie momo had won for her when you had gone on a date to the carnival. you had all agreed it looked like her and she had hated it because she thought you were saying her chubby cheeks were the resemblance point.

"is she okay?" nayeon speaks up again, barefaced with her thick glasses on.

"i think so. she sounded... she said she'd be home soon."

"oh."

"yeah."

it's oddly quiet, awkward. you start shuffling out of your day clothes, picking out pyjamas for your turn to shower after momo.

"are we okay?" nayeon breaks the silence suddenly, eyes seemingly even bigger behind her glasses. she fiddles with her fingers nervously.

you sigh, moving around the small room to clean up a little, if only to give your hands something to do, so you had an excuse not to look at her. "i don't know. i think sana's less okay than me."

"but you're still... not okay?"

"i feel silly. momo doesn't even feel anything about it. i wish i was the same. i know you'd never cheat on us or whatever, i just- it's still hard y'know? watching you be like that with him. like- you wouldn't want to see me all over another guy right?"

"but he doesn't mean anything to me. he's just- he's like my little brother."

"i know that's why i feel silly. i know realistically you'd never leave us for him. but it still hurts sometimes- like- like you're dangling the fact that you can in front of our faces."

she's quiet for a bit. you risk it to sneak a glance at her. she has her eyebrows furrowed, thinking.

you sigh again, moving forward and standing next to the bed. you place your hand on her head, then start running your fingers through her hair.

"i'm sorry. i don't want to be- i'm not trying to be clingy or jealous or whatever i just can't help it. i- i- i love you."

she looks up at you, surprised. your hands move down to cup her cheeks, smoothing out the skin, there.

you lean down, pressing your forehead against hers, breathing softly, closing your eyes, appreciating her presence. then, you move the extra inch to press your lips together, just slowly, softly, only for a second or two.

when you break away, she doesn't let you go, holding onto your wrist and tugging you down gently, asking you to hug her. and you oblige. kneeling on the bed, letting her wrap her arms around you, and place another kiss on the crown of your head.

"i love you too. i'm sorry i didn't- i wasn't aware of how it looked on the outside. i never- because he doesn't mean anything to me like that, i didn't think anything of it. i didn't realise you guys may have taken it differently. thank you for telling me."

you peck the side of her hand that's right next to your face, holding yours. "it's because you're a T isn't it?" you joke.

she chuckles behind you, "yeah and all my girlfriends are Fs. emotional losers."

"repressed freak."

she rolls her eyes, brings you in closer, "i love you."

"you said that already."

"i wanted you to know again."

"looks like our F is rubbing off on you."

she whines, "are you not going to say it back?"

you smile, "i love you too."

when momo comes out of her shower, she curls into bed immediately with you all, tired from her day and wanting no more than to sleep with her girlfriends. she hopes you've all made up and the fighting can stop tomorrow.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

"did she come home last night?"

"it doesn't look like it."

"fuck she's not picking up her phone either."

"where could she be?"

"what are we going to tell the company?"

"she can't just have gone missing right?"

you're all stressing, nayeon's pacing around the room like she does when she's agitated, momo's trying to call sana's cell, and you're checking her socials and her friends to see if anyone knows where she is.

"what did she say when you called her again yesterday?"

"that she'd come home soon. there was a lot of background noise though, she said she didn't know where she was."

"you don't think she's in trouble right?"

"i don't know..."

"fuck! i never should've fought with her yesterday!"

"don't- no nayeon this isn't your fault at all don't blame yourself. we're going to find her." you step up, halting her pacing, grabbing her hands and squeezing.

she sighs, gritting her teeth, "fine. c'mon. let's go to class, we're late. maybe someone there has seen her.”

before she moves to leave, you cup her cheek, turning her back to you and kiss her in reassurance. she offers a smile when you break away, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

momo keeps trying sana's phone while you walk to the company building. by now, you were all relatively well known in the company, and the tension could be felt by newer trainees, they cleared the way as you walked past, not wanting to get caught up in anything.

you push open the door to the dance studio hurriedly, not in the mood for another scolding from the trainers.

but you freeze, spotting sana on the floor, stretching and getting ready.

"y/n? what's wrong?" momo tries peeking over your shoulder to see why you've stopped, and then she spots her as well.

"satang!"

sana looks up, there are obvious bags under her eyes, she's sluggish in her movements. momo pushes past you, dumping her bag down and rushing over.

"where were you?! we've been calling you all morning!"

sana squints, backing away from momo who was speaking too loud for her, "phone died."

"we were worried satang! why didn't you come home last night?" she says the last part in a whisper, not wanting to get sana in trouble with the watchful trainers.

you and nayeon have both entered now as well, nayeon stands behind you a little awkwardly, unsure of how to approach.

"i was out." sana says simply.

"but where?"

"doesn't matter. i'm here now right?"

"sana we were really worried." you speak up now, crouching down into a stretch.

she looks at you, her eyes are lifeless. "and now there's nothing to be worried about. i'm fine."

"what happened to you last night? you said you'd come home and then you didn't. where did you sleep? did you sleep? you look terrible."

she cringes, "gee thanks."

"you know i didn't mean it like that. what aren't you telling us?"

at that moment, bambam chooses to come over and greet you all.

"morning nayeon!"

nayeon is still focused on sana, frowning, but she greets him offhandedly anyway, "morning bam."

"what? no morning for us bambam?" sana speaks up with a teasing smile, it's anything but harmless.

"o-oh! sorry. good morning sana, momo, y/n." he bows to each of you.

"i get it. it's your crush on nayeonnie isn't it? she's so pretty right? and born to be an idol. i can see why you like her."

bambam sputters, completely unprepared, blushing bright red.

sana's smile is sinister.

"sana stop."

she looks at you innocently, blinking, "stop what? i'm not doing anything."

"sana!" behind you, mark suddenly appears, clapping bambam on the back. "last night was fun. you should invite your roomies next time! i'm sure bam would appreciate that wouldn't he?" mark elbows bambam with a snicker.

"oh i'm sure he would. i don't know though, i kinda liked it when it was just us y'know?" she sports a smirk, the one she uses when she wants sex.

mark blushes, muttering something and then dragging bambam away.

"what the fuck sana?" nayeon finally speaks up, glowering.

"what?" she blinks up.

"you were out with mark last night?"

"so what if i was?"

"we were fucking worried."

"and i told you i'm fine now. there was no reason to worry."

"we thought something bad could've happened."

"yeah well obviously nothing did right!? i don't get why you guys are so pressed. i just had a little fun, i needed it, and it was good for me."

"you mean he was good for you?"

"better for me than you were."

nayeon falters at that, hurt flashing across her face, "i'm sorry."

"what for?"

"i didn't listen to you yesterday."

sana shrugs, "it's fine. i get why you like it. i tried it. it's the attention right? it's nice to know someone else is in love with you."

"that's not- that's not what i was doing sana-"

"then what were you doing? you're with us right? so why are you flirting with other people? worried we won't last? backup options? attention?"

"sana- please- can we talk about this i don't-"

"we are talking about this."

"not here. alone."

"you ashamed of me?"

"no! sana what-"

"mark can hold my hand in public. he can kiss me in public. he can call me his."

nayeon clenches her fist, "does he?"

sana shrugs again, not bothering to answer, moving into another stretch. you can't believe her, what you're hearing, you've never seen her like this. never thought she could be like this. momo looks to be in shock too, sitting on her haunches, staring at sana with hurt written all over her face. sana ignores you all.

class starts.

you keep sana in the corner of your eye. she fools around with mark, teasing him, playfighting with him, and ignores the three of you completely. you try and understand where she's coming from, why she was purposely trying to hurt you. she just told you she loved you last night, this wasn't real. she was just doing this as her own personal form of revenge. she didn't mean any of this.

you had to keep telling yourself that.

as class ends, sana looks like she’s about to go out with mark again, but you quickly run out the door, tugging on her arm, “can we talk?”

her eyes soften when she realises it’s you, but she still looks unsure.

that is, until momo links her arm with yours, pleading with sana as well.

“alright.”

you quickly lead her into one of the empty recording studios, gesturing for nayeon to come follow before sana can change her mind. as soon as you’re all inside, you stand against the door, blocking any routes of escape.

sana scoffs when she sees nayeon enter the room as well, but with you in the way, there’s nowhere to run.

“what did you want to talk about?” her tone is cutting, she rubs in between her eyebrows, pushing out the tension there.

“you.”

“what about me?”

“how could you do that to us satang?”

sana sighs, glancing at momo, “you notice now momoring? how come you didn’t have an issue when it was nayeon?”

“w-what?”

“you knew bambam liked nayeon. why didn’t you have a problem when nayeon was hanging all over him?”

nayeon tries to protest but momo replies quickly, wide-eyed, “what do you mean? nayeon doesn’t like bambam though.”

“and i don’t like mark. so what’s the difference?”

“you went after him.” you interject.

“no i didn’t.”

“then how did you end up hanging out with him last night?”

“he saw me crying outside the company. he offered to listen and then to distract me afterwards. i had fun. he didn’t make me cry.”

“sana…” nayeon’s lower lip is wobbly.

“what?”

“…i’m sorry. for not listening to you. i should’ve given you a chance to explain yourself and understand where you were coming from.”

sana’s quiet for a bit, staring at nayeon, turning the words over in her head slowly. and then her own lip starts wobbling, throat constricting, tears welling up.

nayeon panics, “fuck- no i didn’t want to make you cry i didn’t- i’m sorry i made you cry the first time i didn’t- i’m sorry-“ she desperately wants to comfort her but she’s not sure if she can, still in an awkward sort of limbo.

sana closes it though, almost leaping into nayeon’s arms, burrowing her face into her neck and breathing out shakily, sniffling.

“…i’m sorry too. i knew what i was doing- i was being petty and stupid and jealous and i hurt all of you doing that.” she whispers into nayeon’s neck, but it’s quiet enough in the room that you can all hear her.

you breathe a sigh of relief, internal turmoil calmed for the moment. you walk forwards, wrapping your arms around the both of them, feeling momo do so as well on the other side.

“i don’t like him. i didn’t kiss or hold hands or do whatever else i said in there. i just- it really didn’t bother me before. that we had to keep this to ourselves. but then seeing nayeonnie with bambam acting so carefree and- and- everything, i just wished i could grab her and kiss her in front of him, so that everyone knew you were all mine, and that i’m all yours.”

“one day we’ll be able to sana. i promise. and i won’t- i’m not going to act like i’m not already spoken for anymore. i am all yours and i always will be.”

sana sniffles again, you’re close enough you can lean over nayeon’s shoulder and kiss her forehead.

“and i’m sorry for making you guys worry. my phone really did die though if that’s any solace.” she chuckles wetly.

“i have a portable!” momo quickly breaks away, running to her bag and pulling it out, handing it to sana with a proud smile.

sana returns it, thanking her and kissing her cheek, plugging in her phone.

“you were wrong about one thing you know.” nayeon speaks up again, the hint of a smile on her face.

sana stiffens, ready to argue again but not wanting to.

“korea is so homophobic that we can actually hold hands in public without people thinking we’re anything. we could probably get away with kissing on a few rare occasions too and people would still think we’re just really good friends. especially if we’re all kissing each other, they’ll just think we’re… all very friendly with each other and kiss as a sign of affection or something.”

sana laughs out loud, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, “you’re right. i don’t necessarily have to hide how affectionate i am with you all.”

“and you’re very affectionate satang.”

sana rolls her eyes, hitting momo lightly. but then, her phone lights up, and she seems to read over something. she takes a few seconds, and then she’s blinking up, fresh tears in her eyes, launching forward into nayeon’s arms again.

nayeon grunts, catching her and squeezing back, “i take it you saw my message.”

“mmsorry- i lov- too.” her voice is muffled, but it’s obvious what she’s saying.

you don’t know what nayeon’s text said, and sana refuses to share with you afterwards, saying “nayeonnie’s words are for me only, tell her to do it again for you.” knowing nayeon hates expressing too much, which makes it all the more special to sana, but you’re just happy everything is okay between the four of you again.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

there was something going on and everyone knew it. the rumoured survival show for a new debut group was apparently set to start filming soon. select trainees were being pulled out of practice and given the news, although they were instructed not to say anything about it in order to not cause discouragement amongst other trainees and to minimise media leakage.

your girlfriends had all been called up and informed that they would be participating. now you were all waiting in anticipation for your own name to be called out.

after the monthly trainee showcase, JYP himself comes to make the announcement.

"i'm sure you've all heard the rumours going around about the new group we're planning to debut. it's going to be televised nationally in a reality-type fashion, so even if you don't make it to the final lineup, making it onto the show itself will be a big deal already, getting your name out there for potential future plans. the name of this show will be..." he pauses for effect, "sixteen!"

there's thundering applause, but you can barely hear it, anticipating, praying he would be announcing the lineup and that your name would be there.

"it's sixteen for the chosen sixteen exemplary trainees that the staff have recognised and recommended. they will be competing for seven spots in this new group. all sixteen trainees have now been notified of their involvement, but if you haven't received any news, don't worry! i always have all of you in my mind, like god, your time will come! so please cheer on and support your fellow trainees in their journeys!"

did you hear that right? everyone chosen had been notified already? so you weren't chosen? you weren't good enough? all that training... all those hours slaving away... all those tears, doubts, connections you've lost, all for what?

you look around, other people are cheering, some are crying, some are in disbelief like you.

your feet move before you can think, pushing to the front of the crowd, grabbing JYP.

"sir- why- why didn't i make it?" you're desperate, huffing, on the verge of breakdown.

he looks you up and down, a frown appearing on his usually smiley face, "what was your name again?"

your heart sinks. he didn't even know your name.

and then a look of realisation comes across him, "oh! you're that girl that's always with nayeon, momo, and sana! you should be happy for them! they're all fantastic trainees, they'll make wonderful idols."

you blink, dumbfounded, mouth agape.

"b-but- i- what was it? was i not a good enough singer? dancer? am i not pretty enough?" you're grasping for straws, anything to help you cling on to the possibility of your dream.

he tilts his head, crossing his arms, "ah- you... perhaps it's because you're always with those three. you just don't... stand out. nayeon has natural star power, her voice is one of the strongest in the company. momo is the best dancer we have, probably one of the best dancers in your generation. and sana has a personality people gravitate towards, she can keep group morale up and maintain public image. let me ask you.. what do you have? because aside from being friends with genuinely talented people, you just seem... average."

your hand falls, head drooping, the words hitting you hard.

"don't take this too personal though! perhaps with them out of the way, you can really find your own light to shine now! i believe in you!" he smiles again, then he's off with a flourish, being guided away by busy assistants.

you stare after him in shock, a flashback of sorts playing through your head, of the hardships you've been through to get to this point, of the tears and sweat you've dripped, it was too much. you needed out.

again, your feet move before you have control over them. mind moving at miles a minute, body on autopilot.

you're back in you're dorm room before you know it, and then your suitcase is being pulled off the top bunk, laid on the floor, and you're stumbling around throwing things in haphazardly. you don't even register when the door opens and three sets of footsteps tread in, too focused on thinking about how to get out, whether you could get to the airport in time, what you would say to your parents, your family, the people standing at the door in surprise, watching you clumsily shove things into your suitcase.

"...y/n? what are you doing?"

you barely look at them to reply, voice light and distracted, "packing."

"where are you going?"

"home."

"what?"

you head into the bathroom, starting to pick off the things you needed, you could leave some things, not everything was going to fit anyway and some things you could throw away.

"y/n wait- stop- just wait-"

you ignore them, clattering makeup items falling out of order into toiletry bags.

"y/n!" it's nayeon, her hands gripping your wrists firmly, not too firm to hurt, but enough to get you to stop. you finally look up at them, the break allows you to really feel your emotions, tears welling up immediately.

"oh sweetheart." nayeon tugs you into a hug, running a hand through your hair comfortingly. you feel sana and momo surround you, placing their arms around you as well. the dams break open then, and you're sobbing into their arms, all of your emotions finally catching up.

you stay there for a few minutes, just crying it out, the girls hushing and soothing you, letting you babble nonsense and cry into their shoulders.

when you finally calm down, you're exhausted, slumping down into nayeon. she supports you immediately, and tries to peek at you from your position in her neck, but you refuse to look at her, your eyes puffy and nose red.

"do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head.

"do you... still want to leave?"

you take a breath, unsure. "i don't know." you whisper honestly, "what do i have to do here if i stay?"

"you have us." sana says quietly.

you chuckle wetly, "you don't get it. you guys all made it. i'm never going to. i don't- i'm happy for you all i am but- my dream-"

"shhh- it's okay. we... we do get it my love. we were all on this journey together weren't we? we've all had thoughts we wouldn't make it. even nayeon." momo tries to lighten the mood a little.

"but- you've all made it now. i don't even- why would you still want to be with me? i'm not good enough. you all got through. i'm the only one who didn't. doesn't that- don't you think i'm just pathetic? how could you still like me?"

"what?! what are you talking about y/n?! we don't like you for your talent we're not some talent recruiters. we like you because you're you, you're sweet and funny and caring. i know it's hard because we're in this industry so it feels like we're all competing, but you can't- it's not like that for us. don't ever doubt our love for you again."

you sob quietly, emotions still a wreck.

"please don't leave. this doesn't mean anything. there will be other opportunities. your dream is still possible. we might not be able to debut all together like we always wanted to but- but you still have a chance y/n. don't give up on it."

you sigh, too tired to argue, letting them bring you to bed, giving you one of the coveted middle spoon spots and cuddling into you until you fell into a restless sleep.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ⋅ᡣ𐭩 ་༘࿐

the next few weeks are absolutely hectic. for your girlfriends. you spent most of your time moping around, giving only about 50% in all your classes, motivation completely shot. it didn't help that the three of them started spending a lot more time together, as is expected when they have to prepare filming for the same thing. often you'd find yourself coming home after a long day of practice, and find them giggling and laughing about things you have no idea about, sharing inside jokes and talking about things that happened during their day that you'd be too tired or jealous to ask about.

they tried to include you of course, but you couldn't bring yourself to join in.

internally, you felt terrible. you knew you should be proud, happy, enthusiastic that all three of them were in the process of having their dreams come true. they had worked harder than all of you, they certainly deserved this opportunity, and they deserved you to be in their corner, supporting them and loving them like any other partner would do in this situation.

but you couldn't do it. jyp's words continue to ping around your head like an endless pinball machine. how you had always been in their shadow, how he never saw your worth because of them. a small, petty part of you blamed them. you hated that part of yourself, tried to squash it down as much as you could. but sometimes when you're laid in between them at night, their light breaths deep in sleep, those thoughts come back, and you can't help but be envious of their position, wondering why them and not you.

naturally, you started drifting from them, especially when filming actually started.

they were moved out to different dorms during the filming, split into major and minor dorms so that the film crew could get some reality content. they still texted you often though, asking how your day was every night, they still made every effort to make it work. it was you who really started moving away when they were no longer physically there to remind you they loved you.

you'd cry most nights. cuddling into sheets that smelled like them, watching episodes of sixteen, wishing you were there with them. you missed them.

and then momo gets eliminated.

it's brutal. you're confused when she shuffles into your dorm room, hood over her head, dark circles under her eyes, still red from crying.

you had no idea what happened, the episode hadn't aired yet.

but your heart breaks seeing your girlfriend. you immediately squeeze her in your arms, she bursts into tears again, sobbing, clinging to you, unable to make any words.

she tells you later when you're curled up in bed, what happened and how she got eliminated. when she drifts off to bed, you stare at her sleeping face, now devoid of tears, she looked peaceful. and those sick thoughts come back.

you felt grateful she was eliminated. she was brought down to your level again. she was just another trainee now. it was terrible, but you had her again, you weren't going to lose her. you should've felt angry, sad, disappointed her dreams were just ripped away from her after getting so close. but you felt relieved instead. what a terrible person you were.

soon enough, it's the finals.

momo's dyed her hair a light blonde colour and cut bangs. you went with her and helped her pick it out the day after she came home. she needed a fresh start, needed to forget the pain it felt to be back at square 1.

now you stood with her in the crowd with the other eliminated trainees. you nod at them politely, but you have your hand tightly gripped with momo's anxiously looking up at the stage waiting for your other two girlfriends to appear. you hadn't seen them in months and you'd missed them.

momo had talked your ear off about everything that happened while she was on the show. updated you on everything. it felt nice, to be included again, to feel needed, wanted.

and momo wasn't shy about how supportive she was of nayeon and sana. constantly bringing them up during the day, wondering how they were doing, if they'd eaten yet, if they were getting enough sleep, hoping they weren't thinking about her getting eliminated too much, praying they'll both make the final group.

you agreed with her each time, but she made you feel like a terrible girlfriend. she was what you were meant to be when she was still on the show. you try and make up for it in the last few weeks, making signs and pasting pictures of nayeon and sana on posters, making some for both you and momo to bring to the finals. she grins and kisses you on the head when she sees them, saying how sweet you were, how considerate you were. you smile guiltily, knowing that was far from the truth.

finally, the lineup starts to be announced.

you spot sana on the majors side already, nayeon still on the minors side. you have your fingers crossed, anxiously watching, momo's hand is white from how hard she's gripping yours, just as anxious.

nayeon's name is announced first.

momo bursts into tears, smiling, crying. she's so proud. you are too. she made it. you always knew she would. im nayeon was born to be a star.

and then, after the first seven are confirmed, sana's spot also secured, jyp makes the surprise announcement. it was going to be a nine member group. he announces tzuyu first, as the fan favourite.

and then, momo's name is read out.

momo is in shock at first, but trainees around you start clapping her on the back, congratulating her, and she starts sobbing again, covering her face as the camera pans to her. you quickly let go of her hand, not wanting to arouse any suspicions. she tries and looks at you but she's pushed up on stage before she knows it.

you can see nayeon and sana in the back, crying, in shock as well.

you can't even listen to momo's speech.

you feel like you're the only person in the entire venue again. it was quiet. you were alone. again.

your feet start to move on autopilot again. dissociating.

you manage to slip through the crowd, back turned, not realising the girls were searching the crowd, looking for you. wanting to share one of the most important parts of their lives with you. you were too selfish to let them.

you're at the dorms again, the suitcase is out, already half-packed from the last time you'd thought about doing this. this time though, they wouldn't be able to stop you. there'd be an afterparty, you were sure, they'll probably expect to see you there, they won't. then they'll come home, worried, and find all your things gone. the only remnant of your existence, a letter placed carefully on the bed.

dear nayeon, momo, sana,

firstly, congratulations. if anyone deserved those spots, it was you three. you've all worked so hard to get here, and i'm so proud of you all. your dreams are coming true. everything you've ever thought was out of reach, is about to become reality. you deserve all the fame, money, love, everything, and i know it's going to come your way, because i fell for you too.

i'm sorry. i'm not who you thought i was. i'm not a good person. and you deserve to be with good people. i'm leaving. for good this time. i'm sorry that i chose tonight to do this, when you three should be on top of the world, in a way, it's my own sort of revenge i guess. selfishly making you feel a little of what i've felt the last few months. it's why i can't be with you anymore. i'll only bring you down more. i loved you all. i didn't want to start hating you for being better than me, i wanted to keep the memories of our love pure and joyful. if i stayed, i'd grow to despise you for having what i've wanted for all my life. i didn't want that. i'm a terrible person, i could never ask for your forgiveness, only that you forget about me. forget me and continue living your lives under the spotlight, don't let me drag you back into the shadows. don't try and find me.

i'm sorry.

when they try and call you, you'll be on the flight home, your phone unable to receive any of their messages. you throw away your phone as soon as you arrive, buying a new one and starting your new life.

they barely have time to chase after you. you'd be grateful for that. they're thrown straight into schedules and planning for their debut.

eventually, you become a distant memory for them, as they do for you.

when you're older, you'll find a box you sealed away, filled with pictures of the four of you, young and in love. you'll sit there, thumbing through them, crying, wondering how you could possibly have let them go. you'll think back to your actions, appalled at the person you were, hating the industry for pitting you against them, and then realising it was your fault the entire time. you were young, stupid, greedy, you thought your dream mattered more to you than the girls did. now that you’re older, you realise you were so wrong. the girls were your dream.

you'll buy a ticket for their concert while they’re on tour, and you'll quietly cry to yourself again, seeing them in person, grown up, smiling, singing, doing what they loved in front of crowds of people who loved them as much as they loved you all those years ago. you'll think about making yourself known to them, but you'd hurt them enough. they seemed happy now, you had no place intruding on that anymore.

you were just another stranger now. you have been for years. and you had no one to blame but yourself.

[auclairedetoru]

May I request Levi crushing on a stranger he saw in the coffeeshop? (Idk if you accept nsfw requests but if you do, with wet dream pls)

Hi first nonnie~ thank you so much for sending in a request! I'm not comfortable with writing detailed nsfw, but I'll try my best to deliver your vision 🤍

⭒๋࣭ ⭑. Content warning : mention of wet dreams so MDNI!!

“fuck...” Levi mumbles to himself after he wakes up from another... Strange dream, hands wiping the sweat from his face as he tried to catch his breath.

This is the second time this has happened in a week. He doesn't want to admit it out loud, but he's been having wet dreams and they all include the same person, a person Levi shouldn't be thinking about to begin with for one specific reason,

She's a stranger.

Now, he wasn't a pervert, and anyone who knows him wouldn't describe him as one either. Levi's life behind the bedroom doors has been practically nonexisting lately, too focused on his nine to five so he can provide a comfortable life for himself and that little furry brat he calls his cat. His days of meeting new people and building a relationship are left far behind him in his college years, and he honestly couldn't care less about it all anymore. So why are his dreams showing a completely different story?

The stranger in his dream, he didn't even know her name. He sees her every morning at his neighborhood's coffee shop that she started frequenting around a month ago. He would walk in and find her sitting on the sunny spot facing the window.

The first thing he noticed about her was her choice of beverage, a modest cup of green tea, not his first choice - as he prefers black tea - but a good one nonetheless. She paired it with a millefeuille with strawberries, the marble top of it being white and pink. She always has her off white cross body bag on the table, a keychain of a pink pig with bunny ears (he thinks it's a weird combination of animals, but he admits that it's cute) hanging from it. He remembers exactly what he felt when he saw her face for the first time. She had a soft smile as she read something in her magazine, her cheeks covered in a blush that he believes is makeup, the shade suiting her tone perfectly, her nose scrunched as she took a bite off of her millefeuille, a hand delicately cupped under her chin to catch the crumbs. Levi felt his heart fluttering at the simple sight of her, which he tried his best to control but it ignored his deep breaths and continued its dance.

Why was she in his dreams? And that specific type of dreams as well? He never had them in his life, let alone with a total stranger! Levi was confused, drenched in sweat, and in need of a cold shower.

As he got ready for the day, his thoughts couldn't stop drifting towards the coffee shop stranger, so he let himself indulge in them for once. He thinks she's very pretty, gorgeous even. He thinks her voice might be as sweet as her smile, and he thinks her favourite colour would be pink, given that it's what she wore most. He wonders what her music taste would be, she gives off the vibes of someone who listens to Laufey, and he likes that thought, he hopes he's right about that because he enjoys Laufey too.

Is this what having a crush feels like? Based on the books he read, movies he watched and people's experiences he's been told about, everything adds up. The nerves at the thought of talking to her, his fluttering heart, the dream... It all made sense.

Levi has a crush on a stranger.

He wants to be wrong, he wants his heart and mind to be confused and got things mixed up. He could ask his therapist about it, but he knew himself well, he just didn't want to admit it. Still, he mastered the courage on his way to the coffee shop, hoping he wasn't too early and she'd already be there like always.

Levi decides he's going to approach her today, ask if he can take the seat across from her and start a conversation with her. He has always been told he's very well spoken and that conversations with him flow easily, he hopes he'd be able to do that when talking to her without his voice shaking.

Luck must be on his side, because when he opens the door and his eyes land on her usual spot, she is there, reading a magazine like always. He takes a deep breath and walks up to the barista telling him his usual order, but to not put it in a to-go cup. After the barista smiles at him and tells him his order would be ready shortly, he turns towards the fascinating stranger, and without allowing another thought to cross his mind, he walks towards her.

“is this seat taken ?”

Levi gives himself a mental pat on the back, he didn't stutter like he was afraid he'd do.

“not at all, you can have it.”

Shit, her voice isn't like he was expecting it to be, it's way better. It sounded smooth like butter gliding on fresh croissant, silky like the bed sheets his mother gave him as a house warming gift, soft like the way his cat's fur feels after a bath. His heart is about to beat out his chest and his hands are starting to get clammy with nerves but he's still playing it cool with his posture and his nonchalant way of speaking.

His lips are about to part and speak to her, but she beat him to it.

“I noticed you come here every day at the same time, and you always order the same thing.”

She noticed him!? And knew his order!? This is the last thing he expected to hear from her, in fact, he didn't expect her to talk to him at all, he thought he'd have to start the conversation!

“yeah, I used to make my own tea before I discovered this place, couldn't find the blend they use anywhere, apparently the owner makes it from scratch with his own leaves.”

She raises an eyebrow at that, clearly intrigued.

“I enjoy their green tea, certainly better than the ones at the grocery store. I wonder if their chamomile tea is just as good.”

Now it's Levi's turn to raise his eyebrow.

“Don't tell me you buy all your tea from the grocery store.”

“only chamomile! I drink my tea here now,” she defends herself, her pretty smile still on her face, “I don't know where else to buy it from, I'm new to town.”

“Perfect.” Levi thinks to himself. This can't get any better for him.

He casually grabs the cup of tea the barista placed in front of him a moment ago. His eyes still locked with hers despite feeling like he's about to pass out from nerves and excitement.

“how about you meet me here tomorrow? We can have our breakfast and I'll take you to my tea dealer, everything I can't get here I get from her, she's the best.”

The sweet angel in front of him giggles and he nearly melts in his seat. If only he can take that heavenly sound with him so he'd listen to it every chance he gets. It's better than any song he ever heard.

“how would I know this isn't your plan for killing me? You're a stranger after all.”

He places his cup back down after taking a sip.

“my name is Levi, Levi Ackerman. You are?”

“y/n y/l/n. It's nice to finally meet you, Levi.”

He feels like he's about to explode. He knows her name now, and it matches her so incredibly well. And the way she said his name? He never thought it would sound so beautiful until now.

“if you agree to come with me tomorrow, I'll let you search me before we go and I'll have my location turned on the whole time. Promise I won't try anything to hurt you.”

She looks down bashfully before nodding, agreeing to go with him wherever he is planning on taking her.

Levi discreetly sighs in relief seeing her agree. God, he couldn't even imagine hurting her, she's too delicate, too precious, he only wants to hold her close and hear her sweet giggles. To protect her from anything that could hurt her, whether it's big or small.

“now tell me, does Laufey happen to be your favourite artist?”

“how did you know!?”

A hint of a smile pulls at Levi's lips. He'll do anything to make her a part of his life and to keep her there forever.

[forever-rogue]

Hiiiiiii so idk if you saw how Kourtney Kardashian revealed her pregnancy to Travis Barker but it SCREAMS Rockstar!Eddie to me…

Just imagine him jumping off the stage after a show all sweaty and shit, kissing you over and over again, just over the moon so happy… I- it’s doing things to me 🥵

AN | I have not seen it, but looked it up, and it’s totally rockstar!eddie! Enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Rockstar!Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.3k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"No way," you looked between the small stick in one hand and the box in the other. You weren't sure if you were more excited or nervous or downright terrified, "no way!"

You looked in the mirror and studied your reflection; you were wild-eyed and flushed, hair in a messy bun and still in pajamas. You'd basically woken up and run to the store as such and still hadn't made much progress. You were much too excited. 

Today marked the second period in a row that you'd missed. Combined with the way you'd started to feel lately, you couldn't help but wonder. And that led you to this moment - finding out that you were pregnant.

Your first thought was to call Eddie right away to tell him the good news. You hadn't been trying to get pregnant but you hadn't been trying to prevent it either. But - Eddie was still away, so close to being home from the tour Corroded Coffin was currently on. Tomorrow night was the hometown and last show of the tour. You'd see him soon.

And that gave you a wonderful little idea.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Nancy," you called her as soon as you'd gotten showered and dressed, still feeling like you were in a daydream, "I've got a big favor to ask!"

"Uh oh," you could hear the amusement in her voice, "what did you get up to this time, trouble?"

"I may or may not have gotten myself knocked up," you waited with baited breath for her to catch on. Trying to keep it casual and nonchalant was already proving to be a challenge. It took her a few moments before you heard her excited gasp.

"You're pregnant?!" She was practically squealing in delight as you nodded enthusiastically, barely remembering that she couldn't see, "oh my god, that's amazing! When did you find out?"

"Like an hour ago," you still had the test on the kitchen counter next to you, "you're the first to know."

"Yay," your best friend sounded like she was tearing up as well, "I'm so happy for you. Seriously, this is wonderful. Our babies will be able to grow up together!"

"And Steve and Eddie can be the dorkiest dads ever," you sighed softly, "I haven't told Eddie but since tomorrow's the last show of their tour, I figured I'd surprise him then. I have an idea-"

"I'm in!"

"I haven't even told you what the plan is yet!"

"I don't care," you loved her tenacity, "I'm in regardless!"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Later that evening the two of you were camped in your living room, with big, colorful markers and poster boards. Your plan was to right some sort of announcement on them to Eddie, letting him know that you were pregnant. You played around with a couple of different ideas, but eventually settled on one. You'd be front and center at the show tomorrow and would make sure he saw your sign.

"Do you think he's even going to notice?" You looked at your handiwork and let out a long sigh, "or do you think he'll ignore it? Maybe he'll think it's just a random fan."

"Seriously?" Nancy scoffed playfully as she nudged your leg with hers. You offered her a sheepish grin in return, "he always looks for you. He's…such a sucker for you."

"Hopefully," you couldn't help the way that her comment made you feel. You knew he loved you, that much was always obvious, but knowing others saw it too was an entirely different type of sensation, "especially now that I'm carrying his kid."

"He's going to freak out," you raised your eyebrows in question and she shook her head, "freak out in a good way! He's going to he terrified, but he's going to be a great dad. And you'll be a great mom. Swear."

"I hope so…if not I've got months to agonize over it," you finished coloring in the big block lettering of your word and leaned against the couch, "was it both incredibly amazing and terrifying for you when you found out?"

"Duh," she teased softly, "its normal. No one's got it all figured, but that's okay. It's going to be amazing."

"What if I'm not ready?"

"It's a little too late for that, I think," she winked at you, and your entire face flushed. You'd always been all in for Eddie - this just made you even more sure of that.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I'm having second thoughts," you looked over at Nancy who was standing to your right with a huge smile on her face. She understood your nerves - she'd felt the same way the first time she told Steve she was pregnant. You were clutching the poster in your hand so tightly that your knuckles were turning white, "maybe I shouldn't."

"You should and you will," she wiggled the poster in her hands and offered you what she hoped was an encouraging smile, "we're here, the posters are ready, and Eddie will be on stage any moment!"

"Okay," you felt sick to your stomach, but you were pretty sure it wasn't anything due to your pregnancy, "right."

Before you could argue with her any further, the crowd erupted into deafening cheers. The sudden shift in the excitement caused you to startle for a moment before nerves settled into your bones. You were in the front VIP area, close to the stage as you often were, which gave you a perfect view of the stage. 

You almost swooned when Eddie came onto the stage along with the rest of the band. The crowd was cheering their name and you couldn't help but join in. This was exactly where he was meant to be - he owned the stage with grace and ease. 

Eddie gave a little speech before the band rolled into their set. Any remaining nerves went away as you sang and bopped along to the music with Nancy. It was easy to lose yourself in the moment, but you were quickly pulled back into reality when you saw Eddie looking around the crowd. He was looking for you, just as it always was. 

You heard your heartbeat in your ears as everything around you seemed to disappear. You weren't in a sea of thousands anymore - it was just the two of you. His pretty face lit up with a saccharine and beaming smile as his eyes found yours. Your own smile in return was practically ethereal as you blew him a kiss. He winked before slipping back into rockstar mode and continued playing his heart you.

 You always wondered how he could even find you, considering the bright lights of the stage made it difficult to see much of the audience. He said it was because his heart always knew where to find you. He called him a dork; he called himself a hopeless romantic for you.

"Oh come on," Nancy practically squealed as she held onto your arm, "the two of you are disgustingly precious!"

"I know," you admitted softly, "I know."

As the rest of the show went on, you kept trying to find the perfect moment to hold up your poster. You decided to save it for the last song - what better way to end the show?

You shouted your little plan into Nancy's ear and, to no one's surprise, she totally supported the idea. Once they started playing the last song you threw up your posters and started calling Eddie's name loudly. The two of you were attracting attention from all around you. Part of you expected to find angry looking faces ready to tell you to keep it down but instead you found a lot of excited faces.

"Eddie!" You shouted his name at the top of your lungs, jumping up and down to capture his attention. That seemed to spark something in him and he turned towards you. It took him a few moments to lock eyes with you, but once he did you saw him look at the posters the two of you were holding up. 

His expression blanked for a moment before he seemed to realize what they said. In big, bright letters your sign said, Eddie, I'm pregnant! while Nancy's said Eddie, she's pregnant! 

“Hold on,” Eddie stopped playing, looking at you the entire time as he grabbed his mic, “pardon me for a moment.”

And with that, he practically ripped his guitar off and set it on its stand at the edge of the stage before jumping down into the audience and making his way over to you, pushing eagerly through the crowd. He stopped right in front of you, reading over your sign again before looking at you with a nervous expression. His heart was beating so wildly that he was surprised that it didn’t burst through his ribcage. 

“Baby,” his voice was almost trembling as you looked at him with teary eyes, “are you serious? We’re having a baby?”

“Yes,” and just like that, the tears were running down your cheek as you nodded at him, “I’m pregnant.”

“No fucking way,” he eagerly, but still tenderly, took your face in his hands before leaning in to kiss you. You could feel him smiling against your lips as he kissed you; the fact that you were in the middle of a giant crowd didn’t both either of you. He pulled back and gently brushed away your tears, “we’re having a baby?”

“We’re having a baby,” you confirmed as he looked at you incredulously. To him you were, and had always been, pure magic. You were the girl of his dreams and now you were having his baby? It seemed like a dream, “surprise!”

“Best surprise ever,” he promised as he kissed you again. He looked back at the stage and then at you, “let me, ugh, let me wrap things up real quick.”

“By all means,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek before nudging him back towards the stage, “I’ll be right here.”

He nodded before almost running back to the stage, leaping onto it and grabbing his beloved guitar again. He turned back to the rest of the band and they looked at him in understanding, already well aware of where this was going. 

“Ladies and gents,” he looked through the crowd that was eagerly watching him, “I think I’ve just gotten the best news ever from the best person ever. My girl - she’s pregnant!”

Your entire body warmed up as you shook your head at his antics. But you knew him and loved him, and the fact that he was immediately so excited made your heart feel happy and relieved. You could feel the crowd turn to you as they started to cheer. 

“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and now she’s giving me the best thing ever,” he took a moment to breath, already feeling a rush of emotion bubble up, “baby, I love you so much. And, on that note, we’re gonna end this night on a song that I wrote for her when we first started dating. So if you know the words, sing along!”

He launched into your song, one of many, and a huge part of the crowd joined him. It was such an odd thing to have so many people singing one song in unity and to know that it was al for you. Eddie might have a been a lot of things, but he was the love of your life. That much you’d always known.

Sure, the idea of being pregnant and having a baby was terrifying, but with Eddie at your side, you were sure it would all be okay.

-

After the show, you made your way backstage, not even having to bother to flash your access pass as you looked for Eddie. You felt electric, but you couldn’t wait to have a moment alone with him.

As soon as you were in his proximity, he spotted you and made his way over to you. This time he was able to wrap his arms around you and pulled into his body, hugging you tightly.

“Eddie,” you laughed softly, feeling him pepper kisses all over the side of your head, “I can’t breathe!”

“Sorry,” his cheeks pinked as he looked you over, almost as if he was trying to see any visible sign of your pregnancy, “I’m just…wow. You’re pregnant and I’m just…wow.”

“I found out yesterday,” you reached into your pocket and handed him one of the several tests you’d taken, “and I wanted to surprise you.”

“Best surprise ever,” he looked at the small stick with a look of awe etched into his features, “and that little reveal? Baby, you’re a genius. This is…fuck, I’m so in love with you.”

“Are you…happy?’ you asked softly, still craving the reassurance despite his clear indication of happiness.

“So happy,” he brushed his knuckles along your cheek, sighing softly, “this is amazing, baby. There’s no one else I’d ever want to do with this. But, it’s about you too - are you happy?”

“Yes,” you promised, taking his hand and settling onto your belly, where soon you’d be able to see evidence of your child, “happier than ever. I love you so much, Eddie.”

“I love you too, baby,” he whispered so only you could hear it. You felt him gently rub your belly, “and you too, baby. Both of you - so much.”

[scarletwinterxx]

this is how you fall in love - jeon wonwoo imagine

idk what to say except wonwoo is such a precious precious precious human🥺 i hope you're happy everyday, wonu🤍

i hope you like it!

alsooo if anyone want to be mutuals on X, i'm using the same un there😊

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

When you say your life turned technicolor when you started dating Wonwoo, you meant it both literally and metaphorically. Before him, life for you was black and white. A 24 hour rotation of the clock.

To put it simply, you just lived life as it is.

It's still a mystery to you how you manage to land yourself a wonderful boyfriend like him, there are moments it doesn't feel real. How could it be when your man looks and acts like he stepped right out of a fairytale book specially written for you.

"Hey pretty, I got something for you"

He swears gift giving isn't his love language and he knows you don't like getting such grand gifts, but time to time he brings home little trinkets that reminds him of you or something cute that he thinks you'll like.

Just the other week he got you shoes that matches the one he has, but yours was in pink. Very cute, you told him. He remembered you telling him you needed new shoes but couldn't decide what to get, you saw the pink version of his' and thought about getting those but you never got to doing so.

So a few days after that, he surprised you. The smile you had on was worth every dollar he spent. You even went on a walk with your matching shoes on.

Today it's something else. This time it's a cute yellow hair pin, perfect match to the scrunchie he got you before.

"You know my favorite color is purple, right?"

He chuckles at your question. Of course he knows. At this point there's little he doesn't know about you, from your little quirks, to your pet peeves to all your favorite, he have those all listed in his mind like his own commandments.

It also happens to be his favorite color too, so that helps

"I know, I just pick that one so I can easily spot you" he takes the seat beside you on the couch, throwing his arm on the back of the couch making you rest your head against him.

"Huh?" you ask, looking at him

"Just when I don't wear my glasses, everything else is blurry but atleast I can see the color. That way I know it's you" he smiles, playing with the yellow scrunchie on your wrist

"So you're telling me, you keep getting me yellow stuff so you could see me?"

He nods

You look at him before a smile breaks out of your face, taking Wonwoo's cheeks between your hands to squish them. Cuteness aggression taking over.

To some, Wonwoo might seem like a cold person, very nonchalant but that's the exact opposite. If you get to know him more, he's a big softie and likes to play practical jokes every now and then. One of the many things that made you fall in love with him was how easy it was to smile when you're with him.

Falling for him didn't feel scary. From your past relationships it always felt like a part of you was lost, like you're not you're own person anymore. But with him, it's different.

Wonwoo let's you be you. You feel loved just by being you.

"What got you thinking, pretty? Lost you for a second there" he whispers

"Just.. things"

"Want to share?"

It's cute he still asks, even after dating for some time he still asks if you want to share whatever thoughts you have in your mind instead of just making you say it. From day 1 he let you set the pace, no matter how slow or how fast you want to go he'll be right beside you happily holding your hand.

He tucks your hair behind your ear, cradling your face in his hands and you think this is where you feel the safest, the most secure.

"Just you, still wondering what I did in my past life to deserve you"

He shakes his head, leaning down to give you a kiss on the forehead. "I should be the one asking you that. I'm just happy I get to love you like this"

He watches you watch him, he knows you're still having an internal debate. Thoughts bouncing around in your head, sometimes that happens and he's always there to shut any doubts.

"You love me, correct?" he asks, you quickly utter a confirmation making Wonwoo smile

"You said, anything I love you'll learn to love too. Correct?" he asks again, you nod at his question

"I love you, more than anything in this universe. I love even the tiny flaws you think you have. To me, all those things are just... you. These cheeks? I love seeing them the moment i open my eyes in morning, pressed against the pillow making you look like a sleeping angel. These hands? I love how they hold me, keep me grounded when it gets too loud. Your laugh, especially the one that don't sound like anything because you're laughing too hard and you're so happy I cant help but smile too and make me want to make you laugh like that everyday."

He holds your hand in his, eyes looking straight into yours as he says the words. Each and every one of them is the truth and nothing but the truth.

"You, all of you I love. This mind, the one that keeps you up at night, makes you worry about the future that have yet to come and everything that could go wrong, I love that too. That's you, you and your nagging, your ups and downs, your mood swings and bad days. I'd have it all" He frees your hand so he can reach up to flatten the crease between your brows. You feel his fingertip ever so gently land on your forehead.

"Just once, even for a second I wish you see yourself through my eyes and know just why I look at you the way I do. If only you can feel what I feel because there isn't any word in any language to express it. Not yet anyways" he breathes out.

Before you, Wonwoo's life was monochromatic. Like a black and white silent film. And when he met you, that's when it all changed. He started to laugh a little louder, smile a little wider. You're the color of his life, not the overwhelming kind of color but instead the exact hues he loved.

"Do you ever feel overwhelmed with how you feel about me?" you ask him. He can hear the genuine wonder in your voice, instead of sugarcoating it for you he tells the truth because he would never know how to lie to you.

"Sometimes, I overthink too" he lets out a chuckle before continuing "Like what if one day I become too much, but I can't help it. I just want to do everything for you. Sometimes, I feel down. I don't want to make you feel that too so I just..." he trails off

He didn't need to say anything else for you to understand.

"Then will you tell me if you're having bad days too? I can take it." you tell him

"Love, I-" he pauses "I'm sorry. I know I'm not the most vocal person, I just don't want to burden you with my problems" he breathes out. His hold on you tightening.

"I'm your partner, I'm your girlfriend. Am I not?"

"You are"

"Didn't you tell me once you'd marry me"

"I did, and I will" he smiles, recalling that conversation in his head.

"Then talk to me, I don't care about the baggage, I don't care if they're too heavy. I'm here. You share your joys with me, then that's double the happiness. That goes the same with your sorrows, you tell me all about it so it's half the pain"

He smiles, heart filling up with more love for you he didn't was possible.

"You can tell me, you don't have to give it all to me. I just want to know if you're okay, or angry or worried or sad. I just want to know how to be there for you like you are for me" you tell him, tracing his features with your fingertips.

He hugs you even tighter, afraid of letting any space get between the two of you. "You being here is more than enough for me. Knowing I'm coming home to you is enough for me. You are more than enough for me, my love"

You didn't expect your afternoon to turn into love confessions but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Pregnant with Patrick’s Daughter (Challengers)

Description: Y/N is pregnant with Patrick’s baby but she’s with Art.

Word Count:986

Request: "Maybe something with a pregnant reader and like Patrick’s the dad. It could be fluff or angst, idk I’m just curious to see how the dynamic between Patrick and like his child would be lol!”

Author’s note: I added a twist in it. Hope you like it!

Y/N looked down at the pregnancy test in shock. Her and Patrick used protection or did they? She honestly couldn’t remember but this was bad news. She was with Art and fucking Patrick. Though she knows that it’s not Art’s kid because he’s been too busy with Tennis to even fuck her. Art would know that the kid wasn’t his, especially if the kid looks like Patrick. Truth be told, Y/N loved Patrick and she also loved Art. It was hard for her to choose between them when they both wanted her as well. She looked at the engagement ring that was placed on her finger. She twirled it and played with it as she thought of what she was going to do. 

Art was practicing for his match today so Y/N called Patrick. The two weren’t friends anymore which made the situation worse. He thought she wanted to have sex again so he kissed her hard as soon as she opened the door. She pushed him back and he gave her a confused look. “We need to talk.” She said, he nodded and followed her to the kitchen. “Take a seat.” She demanded. “Ohh I love it when you get all dominant with me.” He smirked. She gave him a look and his smirk dropped. “Listen I don’t know what to do about this or why I'm even telling you at this point but I’m pregnant.” His jaw drops at her words, “And it’s yours because Art and I haven’t had sex in awhile.” He got up from the chair and pulled her in for a hug. “That’s great. I’m gonna be a dad.” He whispered. She pulled away from the hug, “Patrick, I’m with Art. He’s not gonna be happy about this.” Patrick didn’t really care. He hated Art for taking Y/N from him. That pathetic bastard got everything he wanted. “Well he’s not gonna wanna be with you since you’re carrying another man’s baby. My baby to be exact.” She glared at him. Of course he’d be happy about this. He hated Art. 

“What?” Art screeched as he stood up from the couch. It didn’t make sense why Patrick was here but now it did. “Art, I’m sorry this isn’t how I wanted you to find out.” She tells him. Patrick had a proud smirk on his face. “Found out what? That you’re fucking my ex best friend and having his baby?” Y/N looked at him with a guilty expression. She really did feel bad. “Art it’s hard for me.” She said with tears in her eyes. “You’re crying? You’re fucking my ex best friend and you’re crying?” He yelled. “Art, I love you both.” Patrick didn’t know that she loved him, nor did Art. “What?” Patrick whispered at her confession. “I love you both and I know that you guys hate each other but I can’t live without you guys.” She said, tears still streaming down her face. Patrick stood up and looked at Art who looked so broken at the news. Y/N’s eyes flickered between the two of them. “Art, please say something.” She begged her fiance. He shook his head and laughed. Both, Y/N and Patrick looked confused. “Get the fuck out!” He told them. “Art, please-” “Get the fuck out!” He screamed at her. 

She laid in Patrick’s bed with tears streaming down her face. Her belly bigger and full with Patrick’s baby. It’s been 6 months since Art kicked her out. He hadn’t spoken to either of them, not that she thought he would. He had the right to be upset with her. She cheated on him and got pregnant. But it still hurt her a lot, she loved them both and it was selfish that she felt sad because she had Patrick. But she wanted both. The front door opened and she quickly wiped her tears. Patrick made his way to the bedroom to see Y/N and her tummy full of his baby. He smiled at the sight. She saw him enter the bedroom and smiled at him. He came and collapsed on the bed next to her. He turned towards her and stared at her stomach. “I can’t wait til she’s born.” He said and placed his hand on her tummy. She smiled and agreed with him. She placed her hand on his and the baby kicked. They both gasped and looked at each other. This was the first time they baby kicked for Patrick. Tears started forming in his eyes as he smiled. “I finally felt her kick.” Y/N nodded and ran her fingers through his hair. 

Y/N watched as Patrick gave their 4 year old daughter a racket. She chuckled as their daughter kept dropping it but everytime Patrick gave her it again. He was so patient with her and so sweet. It made Y/N’s heart melt. She giggled as their daughter almost hit Patrick with the racket. He looked at his wife and smiled at her. She got up from her seat and walked over to them. “Try not to kill daddy, sweetheart.” She joked. Their 4 year old giggled and gave the racket to Y/N. Y/N took it and melted when she ran into Patrick’s arms. Patrick smiled and hugged her back. Y/N felt happiness in her life, ever since their daughter was born. She didn’t think of Art anymore, unless she saw him on the news. He was a pro tennis player like Patrick and he married Tashi Duncan. She was happy for him, truly. “Hey uh I guess now would be the time to tell you that I’m playing in the challengers and Art will be there.” Her smile dropped at his name. She had a bad feeling about this and almost told him not to go. But she would be by his side with their daughter to support him. She wouldn’t let Art being there ruin this for them.

[apfelkuchenn]

pink or blue? 🎀

pairing: father!gojo satoru x mother!reader, mother!reader & daughter!unnamed

word count: 600 words(ish)

content warning: no use of yn, commitment (you guys are mawwied), idk how to type like 3 year old kids (what?), my sister proofread this (don't blame me), not much of gojo mentioned but i wrote it with gojo on my mind 🙃, usw.

author's note: i saw this video of a kid not wanting to use a brown glove cause she didn't like the colour(?) but didn't wanna offend the mother cause she has brown hair and i thought it was so sweet 😭

-----

You were doing your three-year-old daughter's hair. Her hair is as white as snow, just like her dad's and brothers'. Today is your birthday, so you two are dressing up for your party. You were going to braid a blue ribbon into her hair, just like she asked you to last week. When you showed her the ribbon, she looked up at you, her head leaned toward you.

"Mommy~"

You hummed, "What is it, baby?"

"Can I have another ribbon?" she asked.

"You want to wear two ribbons?" you asked her again.

She shook her head. "Nope. I just want a pink ribbon. Just like mommy's dress!"

"Like my dress?" you asked her to make sure.

She hummed. "Yes, mommy. Pink is now my favourite colour."

"Really? I'm pretty sure last week you said blue was your favorite color," you teased her.

"Yes, mommy, but that was last week," she huffed. "Now it's pink. I don't like blue anymore."

You smiled. "Alright. Whatever you say, baby."

You quickly took two pink ribbons and braided them into her hair swiftly, before she changed her mind again. You heard the door creak and saw your husband's icy blue, piercing gaze. Last week, he had overheard your conversation with your beloved daughter about her favorite color. She had said that it was blue, and she planned to wear a blue ribbon. So, your husband had gone out and picked the ribbons for her. You remembered how excited he was when she said the reason she loved blue was because of her father's blue eyes. He looked at you, asking for help to change his baby's mind, but you shook your head. It looked like his heart had just broken. He looked down and sniffled in silence. You pulled another chair and sat beside your daughter, who was admiring her newly braided hair. She turned to you, smiling.

"Thank you so much, mommy! I love you!"

You smiled. "I love you too, baby. But I have something to ask you. Can we talk?"

"Of course, mommy. Can I sit on your lap?" she replied.

It's your husband's fault. It's all his fault that she's this spoiled now. But, of course, he isn't the only one who does it. You're just as responsible, but you're not as bad as he is—or so you thought. You reached out your arms to lift her and made her sit on your lap.

"So, do you really not like blue anymore, baby?" you asked her.

She wrapped her arms around your neck and swayed side to side. "Pink is my new favorite color. I just don't want to wear blue."

"Really?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, mommy..."

You saw your husband on his knees, begging you to ask her more about it. You wrapped your arms around her and peppered her face with kisses.

"I'm just curious, baby. How about your daddy's eyes? They're blue too," you said, rubbing her back.

"Yes! I love daddy's eyes, mommy. My favorite blue!" she answered.

"Your favorite shade of blue?" you asked.

You could see your husband looking elated from the corner of your eye.

"The bestest!"

She hugged you, leaning her head on your chest. You giggled. She looked up at you with a pout on her lips.

"Don't tell daddy that."

You leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I won't, baby."

"It's a secret," she said.

You giggled. "Our little secret~"

You do feel bad for your little girl, but you feel just as bad for your husband. He is giving you finger hearts. You sighed and pinched your daughter's cheek.

"So, who's your favorite, daddy or me?"

-----

dankeeeee

[faiell]

yapping about fics and commenting

sorry to yap but work is boring today and tumblr isn't blocked on my work computer LOL

ok it's abt that post where the writer friend stopped writing because they weren't getting the comments/kudos they wanted.

i'm like. an overeager fandom person. like i cannot get into a fandom without wanting to meet new people and make friends. i love yapping about whatever silly gay idiots i'm hyperfixating over. i'm all about community, and sharing the joy of fandom, and all that fun positive stuff.

i don't post my art for stats but like. that means nothing coming from me tbh. i get stats. i can't accurately predict what would happen if i stopped getting notes on my art, but i would probably keep drawing and keep posting, just maybe less confidently, and less often. i recognize that stats make it much easier and while it’s not my primary motivation, it definitely motivates me to keep posting.

and yet. for years, i never commented on fic. i think i left kudos? and i saw posts like this all the time about how writers were so sad they didn't get comments. and i would feel super guilty about it all the time. but i still wouldn't do it! it sounds stupid, but i would feel pressured. if i liked a fic a lot, it felt even more difficult to comment, because i thought i would have to somehow give back to the author everything that fic gave to me. i wanted to craft the perfect comment that could perfectly encapsulate everything a fic made me feel. and that was way too much pressure so i would just not say anything.

when i got into drarry, i started reading a shit ton of fic. and i still wouldn't comment. i left maybe... 2 or 3 comments, maybe, i think. i can't remember. but i had a lot to say and i WANTED the writers to hear that i had read it and liked it. i just... didn't comment! u know what i did instead? i just fucking straight up DM'd writers on discord and started gushing to them that i liked their fic. somehow i was confident enough to do that, but writing a comment still felt like too much pressure. ?? i don't understand it either, but in my head it felt like a writing assignment, but when I was in DMs it felt more like a conversation and so there wasn't any pressure to make it "good"? idk!! it's very weird.

then i wrote and posted my first complete fic. just a oneshot, nothing special, and i was like. UNREASONABLY nervous about posting it. like. i am a confident person, okay? i was going to make a burner AO3 account and post it under a different name so nobody would know it was me, and then never mention it to anyone except MAYBE super close friends. i got talked out of doing that (thanks i feel a bit silly about considering that now). and then i received my first comment on it, which was basically a two-liner where someone said they liked it and thanked me for writing it.

and i was like. ??...?????? ???????? ...??!!! because i felt like... uncontainable glee? i was freakishly happy. the amount of serotonin those two sentences gave me was definitely unnatural.

is that healthy? idk. will it continue? idk. LOL. i hope so? but idk, some people said it wears off if you write/post for a while. but whatever, the fact that one little comment like that could make my entire day blew my mind. tbh i thought writers were just exaggerating when they said stuff like that.

ever since then i started leaving comments! that shit's easy! like what was i overthinking for? i'm such a fucking tryhard! all i gotta say is that i liked it, and even the bare minimum can bring lots of joy to someone.

so basically what im trying to say is that negative reinforcement doesn't do shit!! it just makes people feel bad about themselves. that post is nasty for guilt-tripping readers like that, and i bet you it's going to have the opposite effect (or no effect tbh).

YAPPING FINISHED. for now.

[multifandoms27-blog]

Hey! I saw your poll on Dungeon Meshi fanfics and wanted to ask if you could write a little fluffy something about fem reader x Laios? Idk, maybe they’re forced to share a sleeping bag in the dungeon and end up cuddling or kissing or something like that? I’m really desperate for some Laios fluff because all the ffs I found so far are really smutty haha. Anyway, hope you’re doing well and thanks for taking the time to read this <3

OHHH MY GOD MY FIRST DUNGEON MESHI REQUEST LETS GOOOO

Content: Laios Touden x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Notes: I haven't written something in months so sorry if this is weird!!! This is also my first time writing Laios so please excuse me if he's OOC

• ───────────────── •

Today had been awful for you. Laios had gotten your party into a bunch of trouble today with monsters. First, a giant man-eating plant cocooned you and Marcille, leaving the boys to have to save you two. Then, a slime dropped on your head, ruining your clothes and sleeping bag. Then finally, as you were washing your traveling clothes and sleeping bag, fucking Laios ran past you while chasing after a walking mushroom, splashing mud onto your new clean clothes.

You had yelled out in frustration when Laios had ran past you, causing him to stop and turn around and lose the mushroom.

"(Y/n)? What's wrong?" He asked.

"You wanna know what's wrong, Laios?! This whole day! It all sucks! There's no way I'll be able to wash and dry my sleeping bag and my traveling clothes by morning now!" You yelled, pointing between the tall man and your dirty laundry.

Laios blinked a few times, the gears turning in his head. "I have a solution."

"What, Laios? What could you possibly have? It's not like you have a machine that can wash and dry these in, oh I don't know, two hours?" You were incredibly frustrated.

"Well, no, but...I can give up my sleeping bag and some of my clothes for you." Laios spoke sheepishly.

All at once, your anger dissipated. "Wait, Laios, no. I'm just frustrated at today. You don't need to give me anything at all."

"Well, it's been my fault all this stuff happened to you anyway," Laios rubbed the back of his neck. "Let me just do this for you."

Blinking a few times yourself, you weighed your options. Laios was the party leader. He needed his rest and proper clothing in order to function in this dungeon. But, did you really want to sleep on the dirty floor and dirty yourself and another pair of clothes? Sighing, you nodded.

"Fine. But that doesn't mean I feel good about you sleeping on the ground."

"Who said I was sleeping on the ground?" Laios scratched his cheek softly.

You paused and stared up at him. He gave you a soft smile and a hopeful look. Probably hoping you'd still say yes, now knowing what you know.

"What...wait...aren't...isn't your sleeping bag for one?" You stuttered.

"Well yeah, but I figure if we sleep on our sides, we'll act like one whole person and it'll be fine!" Laios grinned.

Your heart began to thump wildly in your chest. Sharing a sleeping bag...with Laios...in front of the group...you'd never hear the end of it! Maybe Senshi would leave you alone, but Marcille and Chilchuck would definitely tease you and ask about your feelings for Laios.

Feelings...you had some for Laios, but you never got the chance to give it a label. You didn't know if it was a one-off feeling, or a big fat crush on the blond tall man in front of you.

"Hello? Earth to (Y/n)?" Laios waves his hand in front of your face.

Blinking a few times, you sigh. "Alright, we can share a sleeping bag."

• ───────────────── •

The rest of the day came and went, with your clothes being hung up to dry through the night. Everybody got in their sleeping bags aside from Senshi, who had first watch tonight. Laios got in his bag and laid on his side, keeping the other side open and looking up at you with such hopeful eyes.

"Wait, (Y/n), if your sleeping bag is drying, where are you going to sleep?" Marcille asked, snug in her sleeping bag.

"She's sleeping with me." Laios stated matter-of-factly.

Silence fell over the camp, until Marcille and Chilchuck screamed "WHAT?!"

Senshi however, pat Laios' head. "Good job finally gaining some courage, Laios."

"Wha- Senshi!" Laios blushed, waving the dwarf off. "Come on, (Y/n), it's warm in here."

Taking a deep breath in and out, you walked towards him and got into the bag next to him, making sure to face him. "There...are you happy?"

"The happiest."

Laios then leaned forward and gave you a peck on the forehead. Your face went beet red, steam blowing out of your ears. Marcille and Chilchuck both screamed again, then began calling Laios things like pervert, and demanding Marcille share a sleeping bag with you instead.

• ───────────────── •

After everyone calmed down, and gone to bed (except Senshi), you thought Laios was asleep. Your own eyes were closed, but you could barely sleep with how hard your heart was pumping in your chest. The sleeping bag was snug, it forced Laios to wrap his arms around your body.

You kept thinking about his forehead kiss earlier. Did he like you? Did you like him? Or was he doing that to try to help you feel better? He wasn't the greatest at social cues...

"(Y/n)?" Laios whispered. "You still awake?"

"...Yeah." You opened your eyes to see him already staring at you.

"What're you thinking about?"

"Honestly? The way you kissed me earlier." You explained.

Laios smiled and leaned in a little closer. "Want me to do it again?"

"Where is this confidence coming from?" You asked.

"Well...I just...saw an opportunity and took it. See, it's kind of like cooking monsters. You have to find the right temperature to cook it, find the right about of time to cook it as well, find the-" Laios was interrupted...

...by you leaning in and kissing him softly on the mouth. You were sure of your feelings for Laios now. You had a big crush on the blond tall man.

Laios was surprised, but moved one of his hands to the back of your head, pulling you in impossibly closer. Slowly, you both pulled away, looking each other in the eyes deeply.

"(Y/n)..." Laios whispered.

"Laios..." You whispered.

"Laios." Chilchuck warned. "I can hear everything."

"Laios," Senshi walked up to the bag. "Your turn on watch."

The blond man sighs and carefully maneuvers out of the sleeping bag, but as he gets out, his foot gets caught on the hoop that closes the sleeping bag and entirely rips it down the side. You and him look at each other before you sheepishly speak up.

"Guess we'll be using mine for a while." You sighed.

Laios gave you a smile and longingly held his hand out. "I'll be back for you. Sleep well."

"I can attempt." You chuckle, finally settling in for the night.

• ───────────────── •

Here's my Dungeon Meshi Masterlist in case you wanna request something!

[sturniolosass]

Date Night -

Chris Sturniolo x Fem!Reader

Angst, ends in Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, fatphobia?, arguing, yelling, crying, kissing, anger?, another girl…bi-reader

Summary: Chris was never the type to be ready for a “first date” but when y/n asks him out, he can’t help but feel anxious about saying yes.

Chris was seated on his cream couch in the living room of the boys home when y/n decides to text him.

Y/N

Hey Chris wyd

Nothing much just watching Tv chilling thinking ab running some games of fort…wassup

Oh nothing, I just saw the new Wednesday video you just released.. I was thinking it’d be funny for you to let me take your “first date virginity”..

lmaoo that’d be weird tho right? I mean you are one of my closest friends idk if we should hang out that intimately..

I mean it’d only be weird if we make it..I feel like this would be just a chill day and maybe I could give you some pointers on how you should treat a girl on your true first date…

I mean that’s true.. I guess it wouldn’t hurt..

Chris POV

Texting y/n about this date idea she has, has really struck some anxiety in me.. You see I like y/n a lot but I've been speaking to this new girl named Sade, she's gorgeous and sweet.. she sings, gets along with all my friends and don't get me wrong y/n does most of those things too.. but I've been waiting around so long for her to realize how I've felt about her.. she's had two boyfriends, one or two talking stages, and one girlfriend.. all in the four year span of us knowing eachother, two of which I was completely in love with her..

I was thinking of bringing Sade to half of our date around the ending just to make it clear to y/n that she knows this is exactly what is planned to be, I can't keep waiting around for her to come around to me, my life has to keep moving. I was never the one to out and tell her how I've felt but Nick and Matt tell me that they've both informed her of my feelings years ago...

As I get ready I make sure to text Sade asking her to join us later in the night to hang out.. however I'm not sure where we'll be hanging at so ill wait to give her to major details..

Heading out I call Laura to ask her to send a driver for the day because even though this isn't the real date I still want it to go how I planned it in my head...

Once the driver arrives I spray two squirts of cologne on my wrist and dab then against my neck heading out in my Betty boop Vintage Hollywood Tee, my black distressed jeans, and white air forces getting in the car and heading out on the way to y/n’s house

Your POV

As I’m getting ready to go applying lipgloss and my forces I receive a message from Chris saying He’s on his way.. which confused me a little because i swore that man couldn’t drive and that i’d have to pick him up from his house.. regardless i tie my shoes up and head out down the stairs..

For today i planned to head out to a Top Golf and after have some ice cream then later in the night stop at a park and just walk and talk and finally tell Chris my feelings for him.. Yea it’s been a while I’ve been feeling this way for Chris, maybe a month or two.. and remembering back in maybe 2021 when Nick told me Chris was “in love with me” and i was with Braden, I have no doubt this will go my way..

Chris texts me that he’s outside, i hop up from the couch and run out the door.

“hey” i say sliding in the seat next to him in the all black escalade with blacked out windows “oh hey” he smiles. “chauffeur” i nod insinuating the driver “yea, you know you’re special” he smirks smugly. “yea right” i roll my eyes laughing. “we are we going” he notices we’re still sitting in my drive way.. “oh 3756 cherry street” i tell the driver the address to top golf.. Chris automatically notices the address “Top Golf?!” he shouts excitedly “haha yeah! is that a good idea?” i ask hoping he likes the idea. “give me aux.” i say “ask the driver” he replies.. I get the aux from the driver and play a couple songs..

Once we arrive we walk in play a couple games until we tire eachother out. Sitting down to grab something to eat we start chatting.

“Yo! let me ask you a couple questions and see if you can answer them good enough.” i ask he looks at me weirdly “ok.. but i wanna let you know to help me if i answer then badly.. i have a date lined up after this practice” he laughed.. Me not know if he’s sure or not i begin to ask the questions “if you were friends with a girl and you had a girlfriend then the friend/girl posts pics in a bikini, would you like them?” i ask look at him suspiciously.. “Well it depen-“ he starts “ANNNNTTT” i say making the sound of a buzzer to signify he got the answer wrong.. “what do you mean?? i barely got to answer” he argues. “you shouldn’t like it regardless!!” i argue.. “well, that’s just crazy but i understand..” he nods in approval. “ok next one.” just as i start to ask he states “ oh by the way, Sade is gonna join us later.. where should i tell her to join us at?” he asks looking down at his phone as if he was reading a text message “oh what do you mean i thought i was teaching you some stuff today..?” i ask confused.. “i mean yeah but by the end of the night i kinda wanted to see if the things you taught me worked.. ya know like see if my jitters go away a little” he says nonchalantly.. i just look down, “oh” i say.. “hey how about we just head out to grab ice cream and then she could just join us at the park later” i ask.. “ok bet, ill let her know our plans” he nods.

Hearing Chris even mention another girl made my stomach feel as queasy as it would after eating a whole chipotle burrito in one sitting.. So we head out.. Getting in the car i see Chris Texting on his phone again.. assuming it’s Sade i grab his phone putting it behind my back “come on vibe with me it’s fucking skies” i shout over the bass. “come on just give me my phone back y/n” he stares blankly.. “no you’re stuck in it” i speak. “just give me my shit come on” he raises his voice a little. “na na na boo boo you can’t get it” i joke. “DUDE STOP PLAYING ALL THE TIME JUST GIVE ME MY SHIT” Chris shouts startling me.. i just hand him the phone and turn to look out the window..

It was so obvious i had an attitude but I’m sure Chris wouldn’t tell over the messages between him and Sade he was smiling at.. It hurt me how he was just so fine with being this way towards me when i’ve never once in my life raised my voice at him yet alone completely screamed in his face… however i assume that’s how someone you like a lot can make you feel..

Once we arrive at the Ice cream parlor I get a cone with cookies and cream in which Chris gets the same but in a cup with extra cookies, i look at him smiling “twins” i joke.. he just nods smiling before pulling his phone out his pocket “hey! is it cool if Sade joins us now? she’s around the corner at the Thrift shop and it’d just make sense” he asks.. clearly annoyed i say “sure, i mean that wasn’t the plan at all but what the fuck ever” i speak rolling my eyes.. “what’s is your problem..?” he asks offended by my response.. “like you’ve been acting weird since we left Top Golf and it’s annoying, if you’re just gone be an asshole you can just go home cause you’re definitely killing my mood” he adds.. “Chris what the fuck are you on about? I’ve been nothing but sweet while you just sit on your phone the whole day, the last conversation we had was at Top Golf dude since then you’ve just been on your phone..that’s what’s annoying” i respond.. “whatever i’m just trying to respond fast enough is that not what girls like?” he raises his voice “Sure Chris but am i not a girl sitting in fucking front of you??” i shout back.. he just rolls his eyes

Sade then walks up.. she’s very pretty, Brunette hair, tattoos, brown eyes.. she’s honestly everything like me which is odd.. because Chris makes it seem like i’m nothing his type and just one of the “bros”..

As the Night goes on they continue chatting and i’m just there as a third wheel.. the only time me and Chris are alone is when Sade gets in her car to drive to the park because we still have the driver in the escalade, “hey Chris, i’m just gone gonna go home, i’m not really enjoying myself anymore” i speak.. he looks at me then back to his phone, then back at me “hey look.. i’m not gonna lie, i treated you like shit today and..I’m sorry, but i really need you for this part.. seriously, i’m gonna ask Sade to be my girlfriend and i’m not sure i can do this without you” he looks up at me with pleadful eyes.. “huuuugh fine” you sigh out knowing helping him with this is gonna tear you apart…

Once arriving at the park you, Chris, and Sade walk around the park chatting for a while until you get bored of their constant flirting and decide to lag behind the two.. Hearing a fly near your ear you swat it away only to realize it’s a moth totally terrified you start to jump around stepping on the back of Sade’s shoe to which she speak “Ouch! What the fuck is your problem! that fucking hurt asshole” she yells at you.. which catches chris off guard “woah calm down im sure it was a mistake, there was a bug or something” He speaks. “girl i didn’t do it on purpose, calm the hell down” i say back. “yeah sure you didn’t, you almost broke my fucking ankle fat ass” she yells! “woah what the fuck chill out Sade” Chris yells. “In what world would you ever think that’s funny or whatever the fuck you thought saying that dumb shit” Chris spoke annoyed.. I just walked away knowing if i were to stay there I’d be in a fight..

Once i get a block or two away i hear my name being shouted “y/n! y/n!” i looke back and it’s Chris. Annoyed i continue walking…. “Y/n come on!” Chris yells getting closer.. i slowly stop…

“Chris what the hell do you want? you and that girl have been nothing but rude to me all day… i’m sure you’ve even been laughing at her little jokes she’s had to say about me” i speak… “what? no! i told her to go home.. i didn’t even know she acted that way..i wouldn’t in a million years have even thought about being with her if i knew she spoke like that about you or any of my friends for that matter” He adds.. “Chris can you just let me go home.. i came out today hoping to end up telling you how i feel thinking you’d feel the same but hearing you’ve developed these feelings for someone else has done nothing but broke me over the last couple of hours” I start to tear up.. “What? what are you talking about?” he asks, “Chris, i like you.. like a lot, maybe even love you.. and thinking about our past and how we’re practically the same person, enjoy the same things, same music, same games, same fashion sense, etc. i thought you’d feel the same.. shit apparently even Nick and Matt thought the same thing but they were wrong. I’m fine if you don’t feel the same way but all i ask for is time apart from you, we spend almost every other day together and i can’t take doing that with you knowing you feel the way i feel for you, for another women.” i confess… “wait y/n, i never knew you felt this way…i’ve been in love with you for 3 years now” he drops to his knees in a sort of begging way “you crying because you think i don’t feel the same would have to be one of the most crazy things ive seen all week” he adds… “all ive ever wanted to do was be with you, you’re my rock, my entire world, being without you for more than a week would cause me too much pain to even live with” he confessed… i just smile looking down at him awkwardly. Pulling him up from the ground i ask “so where do we go from here?” looking into his blue orbs.. “i mean we can try again on that date” he smiled hating to have just said that in such a corny way.. “ haha i'd like that. but you’ve gotta promise that they’ll be no extra girls.” i reply.. “i promise” he obliged.. looking down at me in the middle of the sidewalk..

I kiss him.. and it feel like the most soul shocking thing i’ve ever experienced… considering ive never been in love before after dating 3 men.. i can guarantee that this is what love feels like.. we both pull away and he looks down shyly “that was so corny” he jokes “haha kissing under the moonlight, headahh” i joke back. We both cry laughing as we walk back to the Car… Where surprisingly the driver is still sitting…

The end :)

[herejusttosufferalong]

So did N post the Brazil restaurant pics and talk about it in an interview (a bit randomly) because she knew a lot of people were taking pics of them, and she wanted to control the narrative? Play it down and hush rumours? I don't recall her posting any other dinner photos during the tour?

Given the precise timing, I suspect the new photos/video that were released today may have been taken by staff who were under a 90-day NDA (from Part 1 release). I know of other photos that were posted in real time of L and N at the hotel restaurant. For some reason, they were not restricted to post? Maybe just a casual diner or guest? It just occurred to me that the two photos of them (on different nights) taken from a distance may have been screenshots from a video, as the quality is so poor? That's an interesting thought.

Then there's the NY Premiere videos. Why were some released in real time while others were released precisely 90 days after the release of part 1? Why would NDAs apply to some people but not others? Unless the videos posted today were purely by influencers via their official accounts and the other videos posted in real time were from random guests and anonymously leaked?

I'm confused as to why NDAs would be in place? Is it just a safeguard in case anything scandalous happened that would effect viewership numbers? And in the case of the Brazil hotel, just a general privacy thing? But why would it be limited to 90 days if that's the case? Unless they thought something would happen at the hotel that could effect viewership numbers?

Idk. I'm so confused about today. Particularly when you pair it with the week of posting from N. No surprises she posted something social awareness related today (all eyes on her) either because she anticipated today's events OR she had a look at her socials and saw that things had been posted and wanted to make the most of public interest. But still, why the lead up with her own cryptic and love-struck posts? And radio silence from L and all adjacents since he posted the Bridgerton bloopers?

Here are my key takeaways from today (and this week):

They spent a shit ton of time together in Brazil, and didn't get sick of each other. Even going to two separate restaurants in the hotel on one night. They had at least two outings together, without their teams in earshot, across two nights.

He enjoys grabbing her hand unnecessarily just as much as she enjoys grabbing his. Their level of physical affection is unsettling to me, even when certain adjacents are around.

Certain adjacents are just hanging around, whether they know they're being filmed or not. Where is the affection or physical comfort?

A few days before the Premiere, N posts a song about waiting for someone, asking them to give her 'a look again' to get things going. Then in the week leading up to the end of a 90-day period from Part 1 release (and possible NDA expiration), she proceeds to post about someone giving her a call after not hearing from them in a while, and admitting their love for one another (the caller expressing their feelings first). She then posts a song about getting it on with a person where there's no pretending, who knows her so well. Someone who makes her want to dress up and go dancing. Makes me think of that song she posted after S3 filming (I think) and possibly again during tour? - "we should kiss like real people do". What's this whole theme about pretending vs. reality? Being real/yourself vs. fake? What's this in relation to? I mean, I have a few theories...

I can feel it in my loins that the next few days are going to be enlightening, and could literally go in any direction. But did any of us predict this turn of events in what was suppose to be the 'dry period' before s4 filming begins??? This is honestly the best show I've ever watched.

.

[meeludrawz]

New rehab program - Pt 3

Shigaraki x Reader ~ You're the very last therapist that the law has sent to "help" Shigaraki Tomura. All Might is the one who recommended you but the thing is, you have to be roommates with the villain ~

Warnings: You have anxiety, skin picking problems (Not mentioned in this text but will be in next parts), emetophobia, angst? (Idk if that counts as angst), violence

Author's note: I'm glad people love this as much as I do!! So be fed my children <3 BTW EVERYTIME THERE'S A BANNER, IT'S A TIMESKIP OR ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW / POV

The rest of that day, you were less anxious than earlier but it was still bad. You would almost drop everything even with your quirk that usually made it impossible to drop stuff. You couldn't just stop shaking, even if you were forcing yourself to.

And due to your fear, you avoided Shigaraki as much as you could. As if you could catch his hungover like it was an illness. You made sure to give him a water bottle, once he was out of the bathroom, and cooked him something light for his stomach.

Though, as said earlier, you avoided him like the pest, you even made sure to eat way before him. He had ended up eating alone for both lunch and dinner.

You weren't avoiding him just because you were scared to "catch" his hungover like something contagious but also because you told yourself to keep a professional facade. To you, it felt unrealistic for a therapist to be in that state. Mostly in front of their patient.. Tomura found it odd. Sure it's not like he was spending his days with you. Because he didn't want to get involved into those therapy shit sessions but.. Somehow, you kept taking care of him, undirectly of course.

He felt like he had been hit by a wrecking ball, so he took a nap on the couch. When he woke up, he found multiple ginger products placed on the little coffee table, they were all for nausea, there was even a water bottle.

And when it was time to eat, you even had made him food that wouldn't upset his stomach once more.

He definitely saw how scared- No, terrified you were when he was sick. So maybe you weren't taking care of him but making sure you wouldn't get to see him in that state again. He wasn't an idiot. He had learned to read people.

The next day, he was almost surprised to see that his new therapist had stopped avoiding him and that life was back to what it was.

Well, almost, as he could spot that you were still anxious here and there but you were more calm than yesterday for sure.

"How are you today? You mostly lied down yesterday" He didn't even play a game. Which, in the past month that you had spent with him, was very rare. "Are you.. Feeling better? I know multiple tricks to avoid nausea" You looked at him and his gaze met yours.

He only stared, as if he was frozen in place.

"You were shaking" Shigaraki spat almost out of nowhere.

You nervously chuckled. He had seen that, huh? You could come up with a lie.. Telling him that you were cold since you walked out of the shower when that happened… But honestly, why bother when he was pointing out the truth? "Yeah.. Still am a bit" You whispered that last part.

"Why" That didn't sound like a question, and when you met his gaze again, you spotted a mix of confusion and annoyance.

"Why was I shaking?"

"Why are you still here?" He had spent the whole month avoiding you and refusing to talk. He even thought that you had hidden his phone's charger to force him into a therapy. But he ended up finding it under his bed. He almost never left his room and you never went in either so he had figured that it wasn't you. Plus, why would you hide his charger under his bed? That just didn't make sense.

He was getting more and more annoyed. Someone could say that he was getting paranoid but he'd quickly decay that person in no time. Him? Paranoid? Tch, as if.

You confusedly stood in front of him. "I live here?"

You clearly didn't understand his question and that pissed him.

He swung forward, in your direction, before he collapsed on his knees, trembling violently. He clutched the collar around his neck, his hands becoming white at how strong his grip was.

You jumped in his direction and yanked out your phone, dialing All Might. You begged him for the procedure to remove the necklace. The hero and you panicked together as you tried to help Shigaraki while he was being tortured by his collar.

The villain had started shedding tears, he never cried so he HATED crying but being electrocuted didn't feel good to anyone.

Before you could remove it, the shocked stopped in not even a second.

Tomura was breathing heavily. His hands still clutching the collar, he looked like he was trying to break it with his own strength but as if that would work. So you approached your hands as you followed All Might's instructions as much as you could. You also couldn't cry even if you were more than stressed at the moment or else everything would get blurry and you didn't want to accidentally hurt him more than this. But as you tried to help him, Tomura violently slapped your hand away.

You jolted as he did and he trembled more as the collar sent him another quick shock.

"Please just let me help!" Your voice sounded almost desperate and it somehow didn't tremble even if you were scared shitless. You tightly grabbed both his wrists even if Shigaraki fought against you. Almost like a toddler throwing a tantrum but add the swearing and the "fuck offs".

"Let me remove it!"

Why didn't you stop?! He didn't want your help! He didn't want you! He didn't need anything! So why wouldn't you just STOP?!

He kept struggling against you, like a wild and enraged animal. Trying to kick, punch, anything so you'd let go of his wrists but that annoying quirk of yours was pissing him off. Yes, he was aware of your dodging quirk, he had done his homework but it was still annoying.

"TOMURA PLEASE!" You begged him with such intensity that he froze.

He finally threw a glance at you. You weren't acting like a therapist who just wanted its paycheck and leave. You were acting.. Different.

He didn't know how to react to this. He just.. Stopped fighting.

It took a few seconds, you looked surprised but even he couldn't give you an answer, before you started working on the collar. He felt his hair being gently moved out of your way. The young man shivered as your fingers skimmed against his scratches on his neck, but you did it so carefully that he felt… Something. What was it though? He didn't know. But it somehow didn't feel bad.

He ended up choosing that it was an annoying feeling.

Click!

He suddenly felt relief around his neck. The collar was thrown against the wall. Tomura let out a shaky sigh that he wasn't aware he had been holding.

His eyes widened when you brought him against you, wrapping your arms so gently around him that he didn't even have time to react.

"You're free now"

What were you talking about? He had always been free. Were you dumb?

"Sorry, you didn't deserve that"

Clearly, you were the dumbest therapist on Earth. Hello? He killed countless of people and almost destroyed Japan multiple times. Plus you weren't the one who gave him that collar. So of course he deserved it.

"It won't hurt you anymore, you're safe"

Safe..? The white haired's thoughts wandered towards how stupid you were but he felt tears rolling down his cheeks. He blinked. He was… Crying? Why? He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. Something was clearly wrong with him. But what?

HOW ANNOYING

Tomura almost gave in. He almost melted into your arms and hugged you back, but he pushed you away instead.

As he got up to his bedroom, he realized he had been shaking. Huh, so that's why you hugged him. Because he had looked weak to your eyes.

From the side of his eye, he spotted you sitting on the floor, confusedly looking at him while you wiped your eyes. He glanced at the necklace, then back at you. Tomura smirked before stepping into his bedroom.

You really were dumb

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 - You're here

[moirindeclermont]

First of all, thanks to all the new followers 💓 all of you!

Today I thought about it and it's time: in all the first times we didn't see in BridgertonS3 we never saw Pen touching herself. Let's rectify that, shall we?

You can place this whenever you want in the serie or even after it.

It is Colin who makes the request, and Pen even confesses she did try a couple of times but it didn't feel good. So Colin is determined to make her know her own body.

They place themselves in front of the mirror, Pen in front, Colin behind, her back leaning on his chest. Pen wears one of the see through nightgown that Genevieve idk for her. "What should I do?" She asks Colin, her eyes trained on the mirror.

"Do what it feels good Pen. Start slow, with your face, chin and neck, then maybe moving on to your bosom.

Pen follows his directions. She starts with her neck, but she feels just silly, until Colin whisper in her ear "I can't wait to learn from you, little wife" and she shivers. She touches her neck, slowly, her lips opened a bit, and then she goes down.

She touches her bosom, she knows that Colin loves this part of her and it makes her feel amazing, so she first try to recreate what he does. Cupping herself and touching her nipples, she discovers that while Colin is effective, there is a movement he hasn't done that makes her particularly good. He notices it and goes for one of her breasts to replicate the movement, making her moan out loud.

She goes down again, noticing how her skin react to her touch. She touches her stomach, her thighs, teasing herself before going slowly t meet her auburn curls.

"You look so good like this, Pen" he murmurs in her ear again and she sighs when her finger met her wetness. She explores herself as she has all the time in the world, watching in the mirror where she touches and how that makes her feel.

"Try put a finger inside you" Colin says and she finds that it is warm and tight. "It's like heaven for me, Pen" he says, watching her as she starts a rhythmic motion not unlike his. Pen notices how she flush red, how her body seems to response to pleasure, but for her release she needs more. She whines, trying to comunicare with Colin, who seems to have understood, because next thing he goes for her little bud and start working around it.

Her release takes her by surprise and she finds that she loves this. Loves seeing what her body is capable of. She likes it all with Colin but this is different.

"For the week I'll be gone with Anthony, you canpractise on yourself" and she smiles, always so thoughtful!

They kiss and then Pen watches him innocently "Can I watch you too now?" And he groans. "Yes, my love, yes"

I know. I'm evil ending it here... Maybe tomorrow I'll post part 2, maybe.

And remember, if you have requests, feel free to ask!

[marleyybluu]

Oh sista you ate baaaaad with Don Julio even tho we all know none of us needed liquor help when it comes to that man, I am wide open sober papacito ya tú sabes 🥵🤤

Don Julio 2

Best friends brother!Rio x f!black!OC (Honey)

Word count: 3.5k

Content Warning: 18+, smut under your fingernails, p in v, creampie (bcus I have a serious problem atp), two dummies who think no one notices they’re into each other, a bit of flirting, oral (f receiving), we are in missionary today, Rio wears rings 🙃 :)

Lmk if I’m missing any idk I probably am

A/N: surprise, the Rio girlies get fed even though I don’t like this, some parts suck in my opinion but I hate everything I write so what’s new. Not proofread sorry

Suddenly she was so... aware of him, of every molecule and particle that created his form.  Now, she notices his hands and the copious amount of rings he wore, how large and wide his palms were and how slender and long his fingers suddenly seemed. She took a swig from her can of Twisted Tea as she sat around one of the tables in their family's backyard. She didn't want to be here, it was too weird for her, but it was his birthday party. She'd been to all of his parties since they were kids and she figured the lack of her presence would be obvious.

She kept her distance though, only saying 'Happy birthday' and 'Here's your gift' when she arrived about two hours ago and hadn't said anything else to him since. But she couldn't keep her eyes off of him, the fantasies of what could've possibly happened that night haunt he in a pleasant way, but she just adored him from afar. Paying extra attention to whom he was talking to.

Vera.

She's a beautiful woman, Honey could give her that, she is probably the same age as him too. She'd been around the neighbourhood long ago but moved and would once in a while return home to visit. She raised her eyebrows, her eyes narrow as she attempted to read Vera's lips to know what they were discussing but she couldn't make out anything, this weird pang in her chest— possibly a smidge of jealousy, was an unnecessary and stupid feeling. She sighs and shifts her eyes to Cherry who had seemingly been watching her the whole time. Honey smiles innocently as if she hadn't just been ogling her brother for ten minutes. Cherry nods to the house, letting Honey know to meet her inside.

Honey excused herself from the table and waltzed her way in through the back door that led straight into their big kitchen, a few family members-- mostly men, were inside the living room watching football. Cherry cleared her throat, her way of announcing she was in the room. Honey spun on her heels and beamed. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just need help bringing some more drinks out."

She shrugs and they both head down to the basement and to the wall where various boxes of liquor, both strong and light, were propped up. She reaches for the Corona's and the Smirnoff's able to hold one of each. "Can you believe Vera's here? I swear that woman gets prettier with age." Cherry states and there's that kink in her chest again. Honey nods, afraid that if she mutters anything she'll give away the jealousy but her friend continues with; "I wonder if they've been hooking up." She reaches for more Twisted Teas and two boxes of White Claw's mostly for her consumption. Honey swallows and looks at her shoes. "What makes you think that?"

She smirks. "I went into his room, just to steal one of his sweaters, and I saw something pink under his bed,"

Oh god.

"I didn't touch it but I'm assuming they were some panties."

One of the boxes slipped from Honey's hands and crashed to the floor, it popped open and all the cans of Twisted Tea rolled in their own directions. Cherry chuckled. "Are you good?"

"Yeah... yeah, I just— sorry." She stammered, she squats down to pick up those that fell in front of her while her friend grabbed the scattered ones. "Here, take this box and I'll hold some of the cans." She says and they switch. Honey feels like she can't even look her friend in the eye, her cheeks feeling warm and if she was any lighter she'd be as red as a stoplight. They head back upstairs where they meet the birthday boy in the kitchen with his head in the fridge. "What do you want now?" Cherry asks with fake annoyance. He pops up and straightens his posture just like he did when he was younger getting caught doing something bad. "Came lookin' for some more drinks." He says pointing to the boxes, his eyes locked with Honey's and she swore she lost her balance for a split second.

Her face only getting hotter, he was a continuous reminder of that Sunday morning. Cherry raised her eyebrows as her eyes played ping-pong between the two, the silence was awkward and making her uncomfortable. She'd never seen the two be this strange. She dropped the cans and the box of drinks onto the counter, hard enough that the sound would snap the two out of whatever unearthly trance this was. Honey and Rio broke their staring contest, eyes bouncing off in different directions. He helped the two put the drinks in the cooler, he had a spliff tucked behind his ear, and he took it down offering it to his sister. She dismisses him and says she has to find their father, so she leaves the two alone, Rio puts the spliff between his lips and cups the free end with his hand, with his other hand he flicks the lighter and the small flame transfers over to the paper, burning it along with the kush.

Honey just watches him from the corner of her eye when he looks up she darts her eyes forward and begins to sway from side to side. He looks over at her. "Still don't smoke?"

"I do," She lied. "Occasionally." She didn't know why she fibbed, she just did. He chuckles calling her bluff and in some strange urge to prove to her friends older that she is mature enough to smoke, she takes it from him and inhales, she holds it and chokes once before coughing embarrassingly loud. He chuckles and takes the spliff from her, he pats her back but it is no help as she continuously coughs. Now it's becoming concerning. He puts the (still) lit spliff behind his ear and ushers her back inside in hopes of getting her some water.

"I-I'm fine, I sw- cough- I swear."

"Yeah fucking right, mama." He coos grabbing her a bottle from the fridge making sure he opens it for her before handing it to her. Honey tips her head back as she downs the bottle in desperate relief. She comes up for air and sighs with contentment. "Better?" He asks.

"Mhm." She nods and suddenly realizes they're both alone. In the house. In the kitchen. Honey clears her throat and opens her palm, a silent way of asking for the cap. He hands it to her and their fingers brush for a moment, she savours it, a shot of electricity running through her veins. He finds himself blushing and quickly retracts his hand, though he'd give anything to touch her soft skin again. "Thanks." She mutters. "Yeah."

There's that awkward silence and neither of them knows what to do. "Your fault anyway." She says under her breath with quick wit. "You're the one who knows you don't smoke. Why take it?"

"Why offer it to me?" She giggles, he takes it from behind his ear again and inhales as he lets her question sit in the air. He shrugs and blows the thin smoke away from her face. "Didn't think you'd take it."

Honey rolls her eyes. "You've always been like that." He responds. "Like what?" She asks. He shrugs and takes another drag. "What?" She repeats and he continues to serve her with silence. "Well, you've always been an asshole." Honey spits back, now it's his turn to roll his eyes. "Always been like that." She says mocking his words from earlier. They look at each other as the awkward silence becomes less so, it bleeds into a comfortable feeling with each other. Rio's eye quickly falls to her lips and back up to her and she catches it. She witnesses his want for her, dare she say it's a need. And between the head buzz of both kush and liquor his mask was faltering, the longer she stared the softer his features became for her.

"I need you to kiss me..." She whispers and trails off, the statement taking the both of them by surprise, he'd ask for reassurance but the slight desperation in her voice and the positiveness in her face were more than enough. Rio doesn't hesitate. He kisses her like his life depends on it and maybe it did. His hands cup her cheeks drawing her closer to him. Their bodies pressed against each other and the kiss quickly rose from slow and sweet to hot and steamy. She slides her hands under his shirt, her fingers dance along the warm skin of his smooth back. He licks her bottom lip as a response and she gladly invites him in. Honey feels herself stumbling back as their tongues fight in the name of lust, she finally hits the counter and is hoisted on top of it.

"Wait..." She mumbled but it fell on deaf ears as his lips met hers again, she moaned into the kiss and gently pushed him back. "Someone's gonna see us." She laughs breathlessly. It was a miracle no one did already. He wraps her legs around him and lifts her off the counter. "You sure about this?"

She nods and he carries her up the stairs while making sure the coast is clear. He takes her to his bedroom, the place where it all started, and closes the door and locks it. "How long do you think it'll be before anyone notices you gone?"

"Who would notice?"

She playfully flicks him against his temple. "You are the birthday boy remember?"

"Worry about it later." He huffed and before she could get another word out he shut her up with another kiss. His hands shift her dress up around her hips, the cold air of his room creates prickles against her mahogany skin. He rests her down on the bed, her back contacting the very soft comforter and the memorable mattress. The best damn sleep she ever had was on that thing. His lips travel to her jawline and along the side of her neck. She turns her head giving him more access to her sweet spot he so seemingly remembers.

Her toes curl at the teasing, the anticipation, for once she wanted to skip foreplay and just go straight to it. Her eyes flutter as he sucks on her supple skin in hopes he'd leave a mark, another thing to spark her memory of him. Honey softly moans when his fingertips play with the strings of her thong, pulling them down and exposing her wet and needy pussy. She gasps at the friction from the band of his boxers rubbing against her swelling clit. Her eyes wander the room and land on his doorknob, she squints and giggles. "What?"

"Are... are those my panties hanging from your door?" She snorts. He quickly turns his head and blushes. "Maybe."

"You want these too?"

"Don't tempt me." He says before attaching his lips to her neck once again. She lightly scratches at his back. and whines as her aching hole clenches around nothing. He finally undoes his jeans, and the sound of his belt hitting the floor only adds to the tension, she almost whimpers when his shirt is next to go and his body is on display for her and her only. Rio's hands waste no time caressing the back of her legs as he pushes them back, his eyes so fixated on her swollen sex, he places his thumb on top of her clit and rubs slow circles on her sensitive nub. She sighs with pleasure as her eyes close, his thumb soon trails down her slit collecting her slick.

His middle and ring fingers follow the same path before they find their way inside her. "Oh." Honey mewled as they planted themselves deeper, her eyes slowly rolled to the back of her skull when he started playing with her pussy. He pushed his fingers in and took them out at a languid pace. The sounds of her wet pussy squelching with every pump of his fingers erupted through the room, bouncing into his ears and running straight to his dick as if it couldn't get any harder. He had to make this quick before anyone got suspicious.

"I promise mama, next time I'll take real good care of you." Rio coos in her ear before pulling away and ridding himself of his pants and boxers.

Honey softly whines and clenches at the promise of a next time. She watched his painfully hard dick spring out and hit his lower abdomen with a hard this. Her eyes slightly widened as if was her first time seeing him. Wondering how she took all that. "You scared now?"

Honey sat up on her elbows and shook her head, she looked up at him through her fresh set of lashes. She slowly spreads her legs wider. His eyes fall between them and his tongue swipes his bottom lip. "Next time..." He softly repeats to himself as a reminder. "Next time..." He pulls her to the end of the bed and drops to his knees in front of her, he can't wait until next time. He just needed a little taste.

His head disappears between her thighs and she's greeted with the warmth of his tongue between her swollen lips she glitches at the contact but soon relaxes when a kiss is pressed against her clit before it was followed up with his tongue once more. Her eyelids fluttered. He was practically making out with her pussy, wet and sloppy sounds made themselves known-- thank goodness the music could drown them out. Gasps and whines leave her lips, her toes curl, her body rendering her powerless against his regime, especially when his thumb starts to tease her hole with small circles.

His hands ran over the back of her thighs and hooked in the space provided behind her knees. She's writhing under his touch, her hands gripping onto his sheets for dear life. "Oooooh, yeeeesss." She slurs lost in her pleasure.

Rio smiles at her continuous babbling, half the words he could barely make out himself. Honey's moans were going straight to his dick making him harder than ever it was almost painful. He, unwillingly, pulls away and she lets out a frustrated sigh. He smacks her thigh and shakes his head. "You're getting what you want, mama, relax. Yeah?"

He gives her no time to respond before he guides himself inside her heat, she's beyond wet and sticky, he knew he wouldn't last. Her back arches with every inch he puts inside her, she cries out as her hand quickly flies to his lower abdomen. "Fuck, wait..." She protests, swearing she can't take anymore.

"Honey, if you don't move that hand." His tone let her know it was a warning, she whines as she takes her hand back. Her jaw slacks so much it touches her chest, he's in and he's in deep. He retracts only a little bit before going in for more. He drives his hips into hers at a tantalizing rhythm. Honey's head falls onto the soft mattress, she lays there and all she can do is take what he's giving to her like a good girl.

A string of poetic and vulgar moans leave her system, telling him how big he is, how deep he is and how good he's making her feel. He can only respond with his grunts and praises, leaning over to bury his head in the crook of her neck, whispering some of the filthiest things she'd ever heard. "That pussy is soaking for me, huh? Guess it wasn't the Don Julio, after all, you fucking like this?"

All she can do is nod, the air from her lungs has been knocked out. The bed is rocking, creaking to the beat of his strokes, the small fear of being caught or heard had dissipated and her sole focus was on the man on top of her. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Her nails dig into his flesh while his teeth graze over her neck, his tongue gracing the same area. Rio pounded into her until he felt her tighten around him, he looked at her to catch her love faces. The way her jaw drops and her eyes roll to the back of her head, her eyelids fluttering from the intense pleasure and the euphoric feeling. And he just keeps going. Dragging it out, making sure she lets out everything. All of it. But she can't take it anymore, it feels good but she's so sensitive from the explosive orgasm, that her hand goes back to his lower abdomen.

And Honey gasps out of shock when her hands are suddenly pinned to the bed and above her head. "I told you to move your fucking hand didn't I?"

"Fuck! Baby, I can't take it." She pleads. "But you took it so well last time mama. I remember it."

Her eyes gloss over. "Telling me you don't remember? The way you kept asking me, begging me for more. For me to go deeper, for me to fill you up all the way."

She nods lazily, though she can barely tell what she's agreeing with. "Yeah? So, you can take it. Look how well you're doing right now."

Rio mumbles into her neck, he lets go of her hands and they immediately hug around his neck. "There she is." Her heels dig into his lower back, she wanted it deeper if it was possible. "Fuck me, please." She whines and it's barely a whisper. He pushes himself deep and stills his hips. "You asked so nicely darlin'." He rasps.

She's pinned between his body and the mattress, she could feel a devilish smirk against her skin before he isolates his hips— rotating them sloooowly. He's losing it too, just trying to keep his cool but he was at his tipping point. His tip nudging against her g-spot and her lush walls contracting around him. "You wanna cum baby?" She whispers and now it's his turn to nod as he loses his words. "You can cum inside me." She purrs feeling another orgasm pulling through. Rio plunged into her, she's coating him with her sticky pleasure. He stills once more and soon he's pouring everything into her, she giggles lazily. "Mmm, so warm."

He chuckled and shook his head planting a passionate kiss on her cheek. And they lay like that for a while, vibing in their post-coital glow— sweaty, hot and satisfied.

But as time passes they realize they have to go back before anyone truly notices anything. He cleans her up and himself and then begins to get dressed, in silence, which feels awkward. Neither of them knew what to say.

After they get dressed, Rio sneaks out first just in case anyone is inside the house— especially on the lookout for his sister but when he confirms the coast is clear he knocks on the door twice to let Honey know they are fine. The small action causes her to smile to herself. "I have to fix my hair." She softly says and hears a muffled, "Take your time, baby."

Her heart leaps and the little girl inside her begins to glow which causes her cheeks to heat up and if she were any lighter she'd look like a tomato.

After making sure she looked decent she creeps out of his room and closes the door quietly, but as she heads to the top of the steps she hears, "Honey?"

You've got to be kidding.

She quickly spins on her heels and smiles, seeing Cherry in the door frame of the bathroom, she reaches to turn off the light and crosses her arms right after.

"Hi, Cherry."

Her friend's eyes dart between her and the bedroom door. "What are you doing in Rio's room?"

Honey's throat had suddenly run dry and her brain had flushed all the excuses in the world. She had nothing to say. What could she say? It wouldn't be believable regardless. Her mouth opened with the incentive to speak but nothing but croaks of awkwardness.

"Are you-"

"Honey!" A sudden call comes from downstairs. It's Rio looking up at them from the first floor. "Have you seen- oh there she is. Honey and I were looking for you. Bring your big heads downstairs I'm cutting the cake."

She could feel a bead of sweat forming at her hairline. "I'm getting the second slice!" Honey childishly announces bolting down the stairs. "No! I am!" Cherry follows suit and they both bolt down the stairs. Honey slows down allowing her friend to pass her. She squeezes his arm as a silent thank you and he nods at her.

Everyone is outside and gathered around the table waiting for the three of them to arrive. Cherry and Honey stand with the birthday boy as their mom lights the candles.

"One... two... three."

They begin to sing, and while everyone is looking at him he can only pay attention to one person. Honey. She giggles and puts her head down trying to hide her ginormous smile. Everyone else was too busy singing to notice, but Cherry... oh Cherry noticed. Something was going on and she needed to find out.

Now.

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