#idk i'm dealing with a lot of feelings bout it all

[punkmacabre-arc]

& if i said im thinking of starting john afresh possibly on a new blog, would you guys find me annoying 🤔 djsjsj

[mary-laib]

OKAY WRITING ABOUT JWCT SHIPS TIME:

Sammy x Yasmina

10/10

I love their relationship and how they have come so far throughout cc and ct. Also less to do with the ship but I especially loved how Yasmina was shown in ct to have worked towards facing her fears and has gotten so much further than Sammy, who has been ignoring her problems. There's like nothing to hate about this ship. Everyone agrees they're perfect.

Kenji x Brooklyn

3/10

I've been waiting for them to break up since they got together. She was great for him in the beginning of their relationship, helping him become his own person and becoming less egotistical, but she has refused to change with him, which has made their relationship stagnant. I thing their relationship was good for Kenji and I'm glad they got together if only so that she could help him figure out how to be his own man, but past that, their relationship was pointless and I hope it never gets rejuvenated.

Ben x Darius

8/10

I love them as bros and honestly, despite their obvious closeness and the fact that I would like to see more of their interactions, I see them as more platonic, especially with what Darius said about his crush on Brooklyn. Not because of him liking Brooklyn or girls in general and you'll see why in a minute. But I also wouldn't be mad to see them get together. They're both nerds and I love them.

Darius x Brooklyn

2/10

Honestly, I feel like the same things that caused a rift in Brooklyn's relationship with Kenji would also tear apart her relationship with Darius. And it's stated in the show that it's unrequited. They're good friends, but while he'd probably rate her as his top friend and vice versa, I feel like we can collectively agree that there are other friendships he has that are less toxic. Also the love triangle thing feels so weird when the girl cares less about both the guys combined than either one feels about her.

Darius x Nobody

9/10 The dots have been connected

Now hear me out: I don't feel like his crush has ruined things between him and Ben or Kenji, but some things about what he said regarding his crush and his reactions have made me feel like he is very aroace coded. Which has put a lot of things in perspective for me. Since the beginning of cc, he's been a "power of friendship" guy and rewatching his interactions with everyone, they seem a lot stronger and meaningful as just platonic, rather than romantic. And while everyone around him has been dealing with romance, he's just kind of indifferent to it all until Brooklyn. And his reaction to his crush on Brooklyn just screams repressed aroace with him saying that he never thought he could feel like that (has he never had a crush on anybody before) and how he has completely panicked regarding their relationship. Idk to me, it's giving aroace with a "fake" crush or demi aroace person who has taken way too long to fall for a girl that anybody else would have fallen for after the original bout of mortal danger. He had to be friends with her for YEARS before he could catch a semblance of a crush on her. And it also sounds to me like she was pretty absent in his life before popping in to stay with him for a week, which could also explain why he might he having a "fake" crush (if that is what it is). ALSO: when I say "fake" crush, I'm not trying to downplay his feelings, I'm just referring to something a lot of aroace people experience where you get really close to someone and mistake those feelings for love. And when it happens, these feelings are very intense(speaking from experience). Like how if he's suddenly frequently interacting with Brooklyn again and it's just them, I feel like that kind of situation could lead to an aroace crush. It's all just giving aroace person experiencing their first crush in the most traumatic way possible.

Brooklyn x Nobody

10/10 We love to see a gal feeling herself

I feel like at this point in the story, she has nothing to gain or give by being in a relationship with anybody in the show. Her and Kenji had a decent run while they had it, but it's time to let go at this point. If she does end up with someone, it has to be someone outside the main cast and personally, I'd like to see her with a gal pal. She has bi energy, especially with the new haircut.

Kenji x Darius

7/10

Honestly, I definitely shipped them mid-cc, but at the beginning of ct, I decided I did not want to see them get together. But by the end, I kind of changed my mind. I still think their relationship would be best platonic, but I also wouldn't be mad if they got together. It'd probably be a bit stranger than if Darius was with Ben, but they've also got a strong connection.

Ben x Kenji

0/10

I feel like they've hardly gotten any relationship building in either cc or ct and it needs to happen pronto. There has to be something they can bond over

Sammy x Yasmina and Ben

10/10

I'd like to see the lesbians in a qpr with their hypeman. Ben is just so cute with them and he loves them so much (platonically) and vice versa. It doesn't need to be anything official, but just more of Ben being their third wheel/adopted son would make the show more perfect than it already is.

Ben x His European GF

2/10

I think she's fake, either that he's lying about her so he doesn't lose street cred or that she is lying to him and is a catfish. Maybe we'll see a plot twist relating to the gf, but I'm not holding out hope. She could be redeemed if she was a real girl who was a total kickass and saved the whole group (maybe they meet her at the end of their stowaway boat mission) but otherwise I don't really care about her. Also don't lose hope, people who hc him as gay or aro, there's always the chance that he's bi, lying, or having a "fake" crush like Darius. I know I, as an aroace person have had more online than irl relationships and I'm p sure that's a sign of not being allo, especially when the person you're dating is far away and you have no plans of ever seeing them irl.

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[onmyyan]

Currently trying to overcome writer's block for this writing trade I'm doing so I had to go back to the delmonts and boy howdy- hear me out. I had the perfect idea for a shared! darling

Free use kink. Like, it's probably a lot of work to divvy out the times and the days that the boys would get with you. It's made even more complicated since I'm sure the boys would all agree that darling's wishes come first. So while they each have their days where they spend time with the reader doing cute domestic things or just fluffy content in general- the nsfw is a little more chaotic

It's really a- if darling lets you do it you can go for it. And if the darling has been raised around these boys their whole life and is, by now, used to all their affections and shenanigans just takes it all in stride. After all, these are very affectionate boys we're dealing with here.

Just imagine it, waking up and then heading to the bathroom to shower and then Ricky's sliding on in to have some fun before he has to get to work and get everything ready for the day. He grabs a coffee and dips after a small bout of affection, leaving reader to clean themselves again.

It's a bit of a lazy morning so aside from Cas cooking in the kitchen, no one's there. You go to help make breakfast and suddenly shorts are being pulled down and he's taking his darlin over the counter. Or, even better, you get to go on the ride of your life while he feeds you breakfast.

Cas then heads off to tend to the gardens and grocery shop, leaving you to hang with Gabe who's returning from a morning workout/run. Probably doesn't actually have to show up at the shop until there's something to fix so he plays some video games while you watch. You tell him all about how your morning has been and now he's feeling very left out and really needy. Just hoists you up and bounces you while he's playing. If this is a regular thing there's no real hesitation, just a sudden tug and bam.

Groans when Ricky texts him, leaving you a mess in the living room before he heads off, though he's always certain to give you a smooch goodbye. Will carry you to your room if you ask.

The twins are probably the last to wake, stirring sometime in the afternoon due to whatever it is those two get up to late at night. Partying, murder, arson, idk. They don't even have to ask- they know just from looking at their darling about what's happened. Clearly, they've been cheated of a very happy morning.

But you certainly want to make it up to them right?? It's only fair!

Getting sandwiched between the twins for the next few hours might not have been what you had planned, but it's not unwelcome. The two of them take turns and behave if just to spare you the extra exhaustion of having to juggle between the two of them. Once they're finished they cuddle up to you and take care of your every need till they get called away to the shop or until their other plans come up.

I dunno how you feel about it, but I don't find the mental image of the reader being all surrounded in the conversation pit by the brothers to be an awful sight. Just imagine, it's a real real busy day. Cas has breakfast wrapped and on the table for you. Little snacks and treats from the twins scattered everywhere for you. A note from Ricky explaining and apologizing that the boys couldn't be there to wake you up. Gabe grumpy because he's too busy to even leave a message or thing behind like the rest of the brothers. Yeah, he's that busy.

You just chill in the house for the whole day, watching tv or reading or playing games. Whatever burns the time and keeps your attention. Then all the boys come home very apologetic and very needy. They want to make it up to you and before you know it every facet of you is being used one way or another. Barely any space or time to think, just, all you can do is focus on what they're giving you and taking it in all in stride- metaphorically and phyically.

God. And if darling really wanted to try their luck or maybe its been one too many days of this treatment and they've become very well trained they just go around bottomless. Makes it all easier that way. It also serves as the biggest "take me now" sign. Darling at that point WILL be grabbed and will be thoroughly ravished.

Thank you for listening to my TedTalk and now having finished this, my writer's block is over and I will disappear to try and finish this piece I'm working on lol no more procrastinating!!

the bark that left me at this was....something lmfao

but fr this is so tasty??? and also super likely in the shared darling universe, omfg there's nowhere in that house you haven't had your guts rearranged in.

[shiocreator]

Howls moving castle (I am looking at more the book but even THEN it's gonna change a LOT so there Might be a mix of both??) au with Idia as Howl and Prince Justine mix, Ortho as a sorta mix of Calcifer and Michael, "yuu"(I am placing my oc scarlette here) as Sophie but instead of an Old curse it's a monster curse (scarlette can become a monster in her regular Canon so I swapped some stuff around, monster idea is some sorta bird thing ironically enough considering what they gave movie Howl)

The reclusive wizard with several rumors circling about him, majority painting pictures of a terrifying ghastly man who'd no doubt steal your soul away and devour it or use it in potions and the like, all the while Idia Shroud is actually the runaway prince from the kingdom that's being searched for, with Ortho accompanying him to protect him but like. Also. He's worried about him and hoping maybe eventually he can make SOME friends, but that isn't too promising since Idias kinda purposefully driving people away....

Until a young woman gets cursed after bursting in to save a Neige LaBlanche from something the witch of the waste Vil tried to do (and the fact she barged in and saved Neige made him snap outta it and now hes horrified at what hes done), her running the fuck away in absentminded panic and when feeling a resignation to her fate, ends up finding the roaming castle, and kinda being allowed to break in by Ortho.

The deal, become Idia's friend and Ortho will do his best to help her with this curse that's turned her into a monster thing! Of course she can't say anything about the curse to anyone so she can't even tell someone else to get help...

Idia isn't too pleased about the unwanted guest which Ortho probably said she was staying here now much to idias confusion and horror, but also I feel like he would have an easier time talking to someone who doesn't necessarily look too human currently and ortho predicted this

Etc etc etc

First years should be friends of hers and should break into Idias castle to save her cuz they didn't know she forced herself into staying against idias will

Started thinking bout the book again so. Good ol au time...... not everything is fleshed out but I think it's fun

Idia leaves his castle once a month cuz ortho has him use it as a chance to touch grass SOMETIMES at least and he hates it

You know how in the book Howl essentially flirted with Sophie as his first appearance? Yeah well Scarlette accidentally spooked the poor fucker here actually apologized and ran off and Idia had to recover from short woman scare. This man has no game, he wouldn't gain Howl's playboy-isms

Unsure how Ortho fulfills roles here but I do feel the combo of calcifer and Michael is due to how Idia would NOT have more than his brother on his house + Ortho has limbs alongside being able to control the castle probably

I HAVE. NO IDEA ... HOW TO INCORPORATE HOWLS CURSE HERE... Vil is far more sympathetic than the witch and if anything I feel it's a book 5 overblot situation that left him cursing people and even then idk why IDIA would be on his radar, guess he doxxed him....

Book 6 reference of Rook using a spell to hunt down the monster Vil created tho to make vil and gang try to find her and the castle tho.... vil wants to find a way to remove the curse he placed on her by mistake out of remorse because even neige didn't deserve that as much as he hates him let alone the poor random

And how I'm incorporating Sophie being a powerful magic user? Scarlette being able to slowly over time control her curse, able to make the feathers and inhuman aspects disappear, eventually able to pop em out at will and such, much to everyone confusion how is she doing that. What the fuck

Theres prob more stuff but ! I have found this au fun to think about so sharing it

[ceilidho]

birdsongs made me cry i just want them to be happy and in love freely and guilt free

also i love ur bear price prompts my friends call me a bear too with how much thick hair i have, how much i sleep and how im chubby but actually pretty strong

have u considered price with a gf who is 110% down with all his tradwife wet dreams? like "yeah sure ill move in, makes it easier to huff ur dirty shirts" or "wanna get married? so i can come to all ur fancy events for you obviously and not because i want a nice wedding with u haha *sweats*"

awww thank you so much!!!! tbh i see a lot of people call "birdsongs" angsty but i didn't intend for it to have that much angst. like the wife reader character does go through it a bit in the flashbacks to their divorce, but the core story is supposed to be kind of lighthearted, like Price just constantly steamrolling back into her life lmaoo

i'm sllooowwwllyyy cooking the bear shifter price fic too! im just finding it hard to write right now because im fresh off another fic and tbh finishing a fic always leaves me feeling depleted and like ill never write smt good ever again. plus i've been dealing with a small bout of chronic pain and it is not leaving me with a lot of creativity or energy to write.

i like the idea of a reader character that's more on board with price's wife dreams!! the bear shifter fic isn't really that so idk when i'd have the time to write something like that but whenever i see other writers tackle that kind of reader, i really enjoy it :))

[torra-and-the-toons]

I know a large part of this could just be the writers becoming more accustomed to the characters personalities and how to play them off for the needs of whatever conflict is the basis of the episode. But I think it is kind of interesting to interpret Edd and Eddy's changing dynamic through the seasons as a form of character development. In the earlier seasons, Edd is a lot quieter, mumbles way more, and is generally a lot more passive. Even though he may have reservations about whatever scheme Eddy wraps them up in at first, he ends up going along with it. In the later seasons, Edd notably becomes way more outspoken, sarcastic, and openly critical towards Eddy. It is really interesting seeing Eddy's reaction to this because suddenly having someone combat with him rather than follow along really frustrates him. Not pointing fingers at Eddy in any way. For a kid his age that is used to being in charge all the time and suddenly having that challenged can be aggravating. As well in Edd's case, becoming more confident and learning to speak up for yourself is also a familiar development to have. Idk I see a lot of people sometimes complain about how the Eds personalities change in the later seasons, but it really makes sense to me. The show focuses a quite a bit on preteen situations. Friends dealing with slight changes in personality and dynamic kind of comes with the package. Either that or I am just reading too much into a cartoon yet again lol. Just thought the observation would be fun to share.

YES THANK YOU!!

I agree 110%, my friend!

As a storyteller at heart, I love noticing little things like this, how each character changes and develops throughout a show or series. And yea, some of it could be pinned on the writers like you said, but I like to see most of it as development, and this is honestly why I adore the later seasons so much more.

Often times when lurking on the EEnE subreddit I notice so many people complaining bout stuff like this, how Eddy feels more annoying in later seasons, or how Edd doesn't feel like a part of the group and I despise seeing posts like that because of what you've stated exactly.

I like to think Eddy is also to blame in Edd's change. There's probably more to his line "I'm rubbing off on you, Double Dee!" than he realizes. On top of that, I'm certain Edd got tired of getting in trouble so much over things that could have been avoided if he simply spoke up, being the rule-follower he is.

And I think the fact that, despite all of this and all of Eddy's selfish behavior, it's really awesome That Double Dee (and Ed for that matter) never gave up on him. There were times that Eddy really pissed me off in the show in how he treated his friends. But they stuck with him through and through.

And I also think that very statement is why the BPS ended with an apology from Eddy. It wasn't JUST about his Bro. He could have easily tried to play it off and fall back into old habits, but it was Eddy reflecting on his actions that broke him.

"When am I gonna learn, Double Dee?" He asks Edd specifically, which I think is interesting. And maybe it's because all this time, it was Edd who was combating him, trying to better him. And all this time, he wouldn't listen. And here he is, faced with the consequences of his own actions, but instead of playing it off like he usually would, grumbling and blaming it on someone else, he finally apologizes. He finally learned what Edd's been trying to tell him this whole time.

This is also why I'm such a die-hard EddEddy fan, as I'm sure is the case with most people.

I hope this all makes sense by the way, I've had a couple ciders and my head is in the clouds rn lmao

Thanks for stopping by though!

[emptykhr]

Twisted wonderland as lana del rey songs

Riddle ( Wildflower Wildfire)

im sorry but THIS SONG ITS SO HIM honestly is most because him relatioship with his mother

the part where lana sang about her mother in the hospital. SO HIM

either, all the stuff about flowers warm and things like that remind of him!!

Here's the deal My father never stepped in when his wife would rage at me So I ended up awkward, but sweet Later then, hospitals, stand still on my feet Comfortably numb, but with lithium came poetry

Trey (Chemtrails over the country club)

So, trey and cottc, the same vibe.

yknow, all the peace and normal life stuff in the lyrics reminds me trey plot

im truly can see trey playing this song with his wife in a beutiful afternoon.

Washing my hair, doing my laundry Late night TV, I want you only Like when we were kids Under chemtrails in country clubs It's never too late, baby So don't give up

Cater (beautiful people, beutiful problems)

I gonna be honest, lust for life its so cater vibes!!

i confess that was hard to think in a song who matche cater plot, cause i wanna something kinda pop bu it still about him second face

The i just came bpbp.

We get so tired and we complain 'Bout how it's hard to live It's more than just a video game

Ace (Diet mountain dew)

Ace has to be born to die and i fight with u if you disagree.

BABY YOU NOT GOOD FOR ME

to be honestly this song is how i feel about ace

Diet Mountain Dew, baby, New York City Never was there ever a girl so pretty Do you think we'll be in love forever? Do you think we'll be in love?

Deuce (How to disappear)

WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN

well, in the lyrics lana sang abou that guy who lost in himself and fight every night

and we know that deuce is a ex deliquent

and idk, this song is sweet like deuce mas match with him a lot

just read the lyric and you will understand

Joe met me down at the training yard Got cuts on his face 'cause he fought too hard I know he's in over his head But I love that man like nobody can He moves mountains and pounds them to ground again I watched the guys getting high as they fight For the things that they hold dear To forget the things they fear

Leona (Norman fucking rockwell)

OMG FINALLY

guys, nfr its SO LEONA

the part where "goddam man child' yknow? period.

You guys can say "but leona is more ultraviolence" MY ASS

nfr king i said so its true.

Goddamn, man-child You fucked me so good that I almost said: I love you You're fun, and you're wild But you don't know the half of the shit that you put me through Your poetry's bad, and you blame the news But I can't change that, and I can't change your mood Ah-ah

Ruggie (god know i tried)

Now we have a honeymoon dude!!!

nothing to say, the song say itself

i even need to explain?

Sometimes, I wake up in the morning To red, blue and yellow lights On Monday, they destroyed me But by Friday, I'm revived

Jack (wild ate heart)

Jack my baby.

this song. jack. the same.

its just what how a imagine jack

I left Calabasas, escaped all the ashes Ran into the dark And it made me wild, wild, wild at heart The cameras have flashes, they cause the car crashes But I'm not a star

Azul (money power glory)

I kinda always think in azul when mpg starts to play.

could be million dollar man tho but mpg is better

the chore is him.

I want money, power and glory I want money, and all your power, all your glory Alleluia! I wanna take you for all that you got Alleluia! I'm gonna take them for all that they got

Jade (old money)

omg my ultraviolence guy is here!!!

he SO lana del rey vinyl

old money makes my cry everytime

My father's love was always strong My mother's glamour lives on and on Yet still inside, I felt alone For reasons unknown to me

flyod (doin time)

I LOVE HOW FLOYD HAS THE SAME VIBE WITH THE DOIN TIM GURL

fuck even THE SAME MBTI

yeah he´s a bitch and we love it!!

Evil, I've come to tell you that she's evil, most definitely Evil, ornery, scandalous and evil, most definitely The tension, it's getting hotter I'd like to hold her head underwater (Summertime) (Ah, ah, ah)

so, english its not my first language so you probably will found mistakes. maybe i do a second part

[fishfingerpies]

Thank you @unchaineddaisychain for tagging me in this!!! :D

last song: When I'm Sixty Four (by The Beatles obviously lol)

last book: Honestly uhhh if fanfiction doesn't count I must admit that it's been a LONG time. Probably The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman? If fanfiction counts (which I've just decided it does, deal with it), then Sleeping Sand, Morning Moon by @dailyhowl, just last night - it was SO GOOD.

last movie: I watched The Fugitive last weekend - not my normal type of movie really, but I did enjoy it a lot. Before that it was Midas Man though, which I LOVED

last tv show: Rewatching The Good Place right now, my favourite show of all time

sweet/spicy/savory: Idk, probably sweet

relationship status: I have a gf :)

last thing i googled: I was praying that it would be something normal but unfortunately it is literally "why did john lennon have to get MURDERED :(" I was having another bout of sadness about John last night lol - and no, the search did not help me feel better.

current obsession: Still in the midst of a very intense obsession with The Beatles in general... I guess more specifically I'd say like The Beatles in 1968 and 1969 and how everything fell apart :( thinking about it constantly. Also, Bubble Tea.

looking forward to: Christmas, SNOW, writing more and uploading chapter 8 of my current fic, oh and reading more fanfics too

I'll tag @dancingsunbeams @thegirlwiththeaxe @loadingbraincells and anyone else who wants to participate!!

[taegularities]

hi Rid :( wanna tell u bout something that happened to me, can I? u don't even need to answer if you don't want to!

so I told you I've been dealing with anxiety these days, right? ok, so I had this group of friends and we had been friends for about 10 years, but I couldn't tell them how I was feeling lately cause idk it was too much and it just made me feel weak, so I kinda stopped interacting in our group chat... It wasn't intentional, I just felt out of place, you know? wasn't feeling like myself anymore but I felt safe knowing that I could count on them.

so... last week they removed me from the gc cause apparently they were tired of me not being present.

they didn't even care to ask if I was doing okay :( literally didn't give a fuck. I thought I would be okay since it's their decision and my depression is my problem to take care of, but... it's just sad, yk? we grew up together and now it's over and I don't know how to deal with that, it hurts a lot 😭

hi, my love. you can tell me about anything, never worry about that 🥺 i'm so sorry that happened to you.. i can imagine it didn't help your already tough situation :( here's a hug, for starters 🫂

it's not fair to throw you out just bc of inactivity like.. adulthood and problems happen. there's always someone in a gc dipping for a while — like, expecting people to be there nonstop is a selfish thing to do. and you deserve to heal at your own pace, to set your boundaries. it's not like you abandoned them! you still have so much love for them, but prioritised yourself for a moment, and i hope you know that's absolutely okay. do you think there's a way to communicate that with them? to tell them you just didn't want to burden them (since that's how you felt — not saying you are a burden at all!!!).

how's the situation now? did you guys talk, did anything change? if it helps them, you could let them know every now and then: that you're not available, need a few days to yourself, are not feeling like socialising atm. but their reaction was definitely not it 🥺 i'm here for you.. if you need to rant, pls do!! 🤍

[hyperlexichypatia]

ok this has always been a question in the back of my mind regarding autonomy - "what if someone needs help and wants it, but for any reason, never explicitally communicates they want it?" or "what if someone is in a mindset where they dont want help, but after/before they always want help/wish someone would help?"

because ive seen posts like "even if someone is in critical state, unless they explicitly state they want help, then you shouldnt interfere", something along the lines of that.

its affecting how i approach others, especially those who arent doing well mentally (and even myself)... because sometimes, we DONT know what we want, or whats best for ourselves. I can attest to that. I dont know what i need or what i want a lot until i gravely mess up or i miss out etc. Sometimes I say yes when i mean no, and no when i mean yes. Sometimes i reject help both when i actually want it, and when i feel as if i dont need it if I'm not well (psychosis, ocd etc...)

The thing everyone says about "you know yourself best always" and "never intervene on others actions even if theyre not okay if they reject outside help." it... assumes everyone is in a state to know themselves well. amnesia comes to mind, or any cognitive condition where someone will struggle to know what they want/need, or how they feel, and how to communicate such.

Maybe im overthinking and nobody has ever said ppl cant intervene in special cases.. but ive never seen anyone explicitly say they can, either.. so idk what people think about it.

We're all here to overthink, so that's a good thing. I think there are a few issues to overthink here. First of all, what is "help"? I mean this in both a specific and an abstract way. Specifically, what are you considering doing for someone that they haven't asked for and you think they need? Is it something where if you're wrong and they really don't want it, it's no big deal (like giving someone a coffeepot they have no real use for but accept to be polite), or is it something where if you're wrong and they really don't want it, you're severely harming them by imposing something on them against their will (like forced drugging, which is what most policy advocates mean by "getting someone help")? And more abstractly, how can you be sure that what you want to do for someone is actually helpful? The premise of "You know yourself best always" doesn't mean "You know yourself perfectly always." No one has complete self-knowledge. It is absolutely possible for you to be wrong about what's best for you. It's absolutely possible for you to make a decision and regret it -- maybe immediately, maybe years later. And to think "Why did I make such a bad decision? What was I thinking? Why didn't someone stop me?" But you still know yourself best always, not because you know what's best always or never make bad decisions (that's not true of anyone, and is an unreasonable standard!) but because you know yourself better than anyone else can, because no one else can have the lived experience of being you and knowing how you feel and what you need. Or put another way: However bad, unwise, or regrettable your decisions about your own body/mind/life are, anyone else's would inherently be worse. So moving on to the specific: What if someone needs help in a way that they can't communicate due to awareness/communication related disabilities? This definitely happens to me! For example, I have a real problem remembering to eat and remembering that I'm hungry. It's helpful for me when someone reminds me that I haven't had lunch yet, and that's probably why I'm spacy. For yourself, if you know you're prone to bouts of poor bodily awareness, try to ask for help in advance. If you have a willing friend or partner, you can ask them in advance "If I get spaced out, please remind me to eat/ drink/ take medicine/ go outside." For more complicated things, you can look into some of the advance plans and templates suggested by the Fireweed Collective: https://fireweedcollective.org/crisis-toolkit For trying to help other people who haven't asked for it -- or rather, trying to intervene in a way that you think is helpful even though they haven't asked for it -- I would recommend some broad guidelines.

Ask first, and be willing to take "no" for an answer. If someone says no, but seems really disoriented, you might try asking again later, but still be willing to accept a no.

Offer basic things: Food, water, and the opportunity to leave the environment. If the person only eats certain foods, bring them that food. You may need to physically bring it to them if they are too disoriented to get it themselves or even answer whether they want it.

IF you know that they take a medication regularly, and you think it's possible that their disorientation could be caused by a missed dose, offer to bring them their medicine. Do NOT try to get them to start a medical regimen if they're not already on them. DO NOT encourage them to take medication if you know, or have reason to believe, that they're foregoing medication as an intentional choice rather than simply forgetting a dose.

If possible, try to reduce environmental stressors like noise. Turn down music, fans, flashing lights.

If the person is communicating in a way you don't understand, listen respectfully. Don't bombard them with questions. If you don't understand, say so. You can always come back to the topic later.

Offer alternate ways to communicate. If someone isn't speaking well, try typing or another form of AAC.

Be humble. They may not appreciate your offers, nor do they have any obligation to. They might be annoyed or angry by your offers (especially if they've already said "no"), and they have every right to be. Accept this fact going in.

These are some general suggestions for trying to help someone who has not specifically requested your help, but you have reason to believe may be disoriented or otherwise unable to communicate their wants/needs, while still respecting their bodily autonomy. It's not foolproof, but it might be a start.

[unhinged-jackles]

I know they joked that they did the angry letter video for views but i think if there's any purpose at all is them (but specifically anthony) wanting to boast about how good they have it now and the social skills they acquired. I think to cishet men talking about feelings is rocket science to them a lot of the time, with them having said before that they dealt with stuff by "venting to their girlfriends" (aka expecting their SOs to do the emotional labor for them and not having any real close friendships whatsoever, another known societal ill that has been written about in papers about psychology, patriarchy etc. since fucking forever). But leaving that aside with the way anthony rubs in just how ill-equipped he used to be to deal with interpersonal relationships at all from his perspective he's just come a long way in a way he hadn't imagined he could so he's been talking a lot about it

ok bc you're on anon i'm not gonna hold back.

you sound like a fucking dick. they are not "bragging" about their emotional growth for clout. they made the video bc on a smosh royalty stream they talked about how it would be nice to air out the letter in a chill environment (like for a video) and because it would be cool for the audience to see people communicate a hard topic in a healthy way.

i truly don't know why you're making this seem like a gender issue, because it is simply not. i think it's fucking awesome to see any two friends, regardless of their gender, mend their relationship.

you are the one invalidating that growth by saying that these men can only be vulnerable for the sake of "boasting" instead of them just being vulnerable.

idk why you're attacking anthony, but the guy is being very upfront and honest. it takes a lot to admit that you were simply not doing well and were dealing with a lot of shit, and i think he has done it with a lot of grace. also, of course he's fucking talking bout it. the man has not been a part of smosh for six whole years, he has to talk about why.

the whole thing you said about their SOs is just a bunch of dog shit. people are allowed to vent to their partners about their feelings, and we have no idea whether or not they were being asses about it. ian and anthony were each other's close friend, so when that fell apart they turned to their partners, people who held a very significant role in their respective lives.

anyways this whole ask pissed me the fuck off. god forbid men have feelings like every other person on the fucking planet.

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

"send me ask about thomastair or matthew"

12 days of Christmas, Qs about our beloveds!

what are all three of them watching during the holiday season?

What would a skincare / make up routine (if he wears it) be for our Matthew on an average morning?

if each of them were on social media, what would be their go-to social media app and why?

who would you consider the most street smart, book smart and the most emotionally smart and why?

what would be each of their fav holiday traditions this time of year?

One can allege that both characters are super alike but extremely different in a lot of ways. so how do you think Matthew and Magnus in personality overlap and where do they differ?

what are some questions you HATE receiving in your ask about these three characters and why?

Between Thomas and Alastair, who is assigned what choir and why in the maintanance of their flat at Cornwall Gardens?

Who is more prone to bouts of sadness between thomas and alastair and what does the other do to help them feel better or take them out of their funk?

What are some of their favourite dishes they make for each other? They give me the vibe of being massive loving home bodies so i'm curious to know your take on what they make for food and what are their go to dishes!

What are in each of their stockings and who gave what to contribute to stuffing their stalkings (for all three of them! Matthew and Thomastair)

Last day of christmas question :) - What are YOUR predictions/wishes of who/what the scene each of them will be, in the better in black novella? :))

Ily! I hope you liked this! it took me over half an hour to think up q for what i was trying to do hahaha

Nice I'm so glad that I saved this for when I was high.

I think that they're watching various shows and Christmas movies. But I also think that they're watching their usual things.

This is actually so interesting : https://www.beautifulwithbrains.com/beauty-history-cosmetics-in-the-edwardian-era/. So he had Concoctions and creams with Cocoa Butter, Coconut Oil, Almond Oil, Lanolin, Petrolatum, Witch Hazel and Glycerin.

Matthew is a Tumblrina and you can pry that from my cold dead hands. But also probably TikTok and Instagram, because he can't stay away from the travel videos for long. He has a whole IG page to his travels (@/wilde-wanderer, of course). And he has tons of followers who love the aesthetic landscapes and dog pictures. Thomas is a Duolingo boy - languages? Owls? Definitely, and that's most of what he does on his phone. But he does have a Twitter account to share his scores to, and he competes with Alastair to try to get ahead of the other one in their target languages. Thomas also uses his Twitter to follow accounts in Spain and language learning accounts. Alastair hits it big on YouTube because Thomas encourages him to showcase his piano. So he has many followers. It's really amazing for him, and he posts new things frequently. Kind of like VSQ, but solo piano.

Street smart is Matthew because he has all walks of life experience. Like this dude woke up wrapped in the Union Jack one night when he was drunk (Waterstones edition bonus letter). He could get by in back alley deals and make his way thrugh the world. Book smart is Alastair because he grows up lonely and reads a lot, and also he has a natural curiousity for life and the world around him. Thomas is emotionally smart, he sees minute details in people and can tell what they need so they can feel better.

Thomas likes to make cinnamon bread. Alastair likes to sing and play carols. Matthew likes to decorate and make beautiful.

MATTHEW AND MAGNUS okay. I will make a venn diagram:

Idk dude

ALASTAIR CHORES: cleaning the counters, cleaning the floors (he is a very cleanly man and just does these things), cooking dinner for both THOMAS CHORES: laundry, organizing (can reach tall cabinets), cooking breakfast for both. both characters do dishes

I think both are equally prone to bouts of sadness. I think Thomas will be more prone then Alastair to bouts sadness for a while, first, because of terrible grief over his family members. Alastair will still be in that "thank God I can breathe" phase but not in te "oh god how can I breathe i have to learn" phase, which will come in time and be the worst bit. But I think that Alastair has a shitmine of trauma to process and it will be incredibly emotional journey for probably the rest of his life, so he will be the most prone in the long run. Both of them are of course there for each other, I think that they hold each other and they talk about what the grief is and they comfort each other and they feel acceptance and support for one of the first times ever. I love them.

Thomas and Alastair, right? Yeah lol I wrote in my fic they spent a long time together alone and then they had their friends over and they wanted to get rid of everyone and be alone together again. I think they're, like, each other's favourite person. I think they are like being in a partnership. in all things. Like , if Alastair does something wrong, Thomas still has his back. And if Thomas does something recless, Alastair is not mad with him but he is worried for his safety. Anyway, I'm higher than I want to be. This is not the question. I think that thomas makes Alastair a lot of Persian food when he wants to, but he is kind of not a naturally amazing cook so he has to be taught by Alastair. Alastair shows him though and it is fun and romantic and bonding experience. I think Alastair makes for Thomas handmade trifle. It is his favorite dessert. Also salads without a hint of celery.

I will draw an image

I jsut want them to be IN the short stories! It's important to me. My mutual posted a post about how Cassie said something promising. Also when I asked SoS team they sent me a ;).

[fizzingwizard]

I've had such an awful spring

Got the flu in March

Bad cold in May which hung around forever and totally messed up my voice

When my voice finally was coming back, I got covid!

I'm grateful that my coworkers have been supportive. But I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow, even though it'll be just one day, because I'm exhausted just lying down all the time and at work I have to be go go go pretty much the whole time.

I'm not sure what happened, but anyway, I was told that I had to self-isolate "until Thursday." That was vague, I wasn't sure if it meant Thursday is the last day of self-isolation or Thursday is the first day I go back to work. So obvs I just asked my manager. I made sure to sent the message in two languages just in case. She confirmed "Yes you must self-isolate until Thursday." Which didn't clear anything up for me. So I said, "Alright, see you Thursday?" and she said "Thank you!"

Well y'all, today was Thursday. I had a HORRIBLE sleep on Wed night. It was one of those sleeps where you're kind of awake still and there's a mental reel of nightmarish fun house images under your eyes that doesn't stop. Usually that gets my heart racing, but this time it just made me not sleep well.

So I woke up groggy and got ready for work. It took ten minutes longer than usual even though I did nothing that isn't part of my normal routine. The summer heat is setting in. All the yellow flowers that were by the river last week have died and the purple ones that only come out in the mornings in summer appeared over the few days that I had to stay home. Got on the crowded train, and I don't know what happened but after ten minutes of standing pressed in line sardines, I suddenly got light-heated and nauseous. It got so bad that I had to bend over, then eventually crouch down on my knees. At that point the nice man sitting in front of me was kind enough to give me his seat so I could put my head between my legs. The vertigo eventually passed, but I had a weird hot feeling in my head the rest of the way. The night before I had gotten light-headed in the shower too, but felt better after cracking the door.

I have passed out in the shower once before, but never on a train, so that was freaky. I don't know what caused it, I haven't heard that fainting is a symptom of covid, but who knows. But more likely I suppose it was the combination of having been home without much exercise for several days, not eating much due to not having an appetite, and then suddenly moving around a lot more in the heat. Hopefully that's all it was, I guess I'll find out tomorrow...

Anyway, I get to work and my boss says, "You're here? You're supposed to come back tomorrow!"

xD

Whaat but I thought I confirmed I was supposed to come in today. Lol. Idk man. Anyway, I just said, "Then came I go home??" and went aaaaaall the way back buhahaha. It was a waste of money since I won't be able to have my travel expense covered. But I did get to buy pancakes for breakfast. And strawberries for tonight's dessert. Tbh I was really grateful for the surprise extra (albeit failed) self-isolation day. I didn't feel up to looking after the kids at all. Don't wanna try tomorrow either but if lack of exercise contributed to the light-headedness then it's best that I try to get back to my normal life as soon as I can.

The doc did give me meds, but was clear that I couldn't have antivirals. I assume the best treatments are being rationed for the people most in need. So I have some meds to help with the symptoms at least. One is making me feel a little weird but I'm not sure which. However, it's not a big deal, just a weird feeling, my arms and back feel hot... idk. Will keep an eye on it.

Gotta say this bout with covid was anything but fun. The symptoms I expected were not the ones that gave me the most trouble. My sore throat is not nearly as bad as what I had in May, and the cough is just a cough. The worst of all was the body aches. They were nightmarish. I took ibuprofen but it barely helped. My head, neck, back, and joints ached and all I wanted to do was sleep but there was no comfortable position. Then after that is the phlegm. Mainly because it tastes horrible, is constant, and is making me always nauseous from swallowing it. I feel like I have constant heartburn. I do have meds to help with the phlegm, but so far they haven't made a difference on the nausea.

Le sigh

However, counting blessings. I have multiple friends who are immunocompromised for various reasons who have struggled so much this whole time trying to be safe. I'm lucky I'm generally healthy and I'm even glad being recently sick meant that I really haven't gone anywhere or seen anyone in almost a month, so I hopefully didn't pass the covid germs around. Fingers crossed summer will be better than spring.

[snazum]

am I aro? am I ace? (Ha no... well idk. It's complicated) Who knows! I need to look back into these identities again, it's been a decade since I've thought bout it. (More rambling below, warning it's long)

Like. Idk if I'm just commitment avoidant or something. Still recovering from my prev relationship or what. WHO KNOWS! Not me. XD I used to identify as demi-romantic and demi-sexual when I was younger. Then I just, didn't really think about it once I was in a relationship. And now that I'm out of it I don't like. Know?? If you asked me my ideal relationship, the words Work Partners For Life come out of my mouth. Power couple. I want to fucking make cool shit with someone, someone who fucking gets it ya know? Which is a lot to ask of someone lol, and seems pretty much impossible.

And then also! I miss being in a relationship. But my main reason for why? It's cause it was easy to turn people down. Just be like, Hey I'm in a relationship. And that was that. Like usually I just pull the oh sorry I'm gay card and then I'm fine, but then when another guy asks me out? I tweak and freak out and don't know how to turn this dude down (That's a skill issue on my part ofc though)

But at the same time I want to dote on people, I want to be affectionate and caring, and cared for. In a way that friendship can't provide (At least not the ones I'm in.)

But then that line of thought makes me think I'm poly? Cause as much as I can easily picture a monogamous life, it just doesn't seem like it's for me. I picture myself as more of the third wheel? That a couple keeps around? Or i'm in a commune? I DONT KNOW?

THEN I don't know if I have problems picturing myself in a relationship due to being trans, or due to having identity issues. Or what I don't know. Is it internalized racism? Internalized Misogyny? Internalized transphobia? Internalized Homophobia? I have No Clue. Do I even deal with those things? Surely I must growing up in this society. And I do see their prints on my soul, but I think I've made strides to grow from that?

And then I question if I'm actually Bisexual, or even straight! Or do I just picture myself in a hetronormative relationship as to affirm my masculine identity. Am I even fully a man? I think I'm getting a little non binary with it as of late.

But I experience sexual attraction to masculinity? And I definitely experience horniness n shit. But do I only really experience it when I'm high now? I don't fucking know. Do I just have problems when it comes to my own sexual experiences? I don't know! This is why I'm starting therapy (semi-soon)

And then it all leads back to me questioning if I'm aro and or ace. Cause all my Crushes have always been on unobtainable people. And I worry that if the person I believe is unobtainable actually has feelings back for me that I'd fall out of the feelings. And I feel this may be true.

Cause there this one cis (pretty sure het) guy that I'm into rn, like soooo into. But like. I cannot fathom the idea that he likes me back. Like the fantasies are great and all but, when I sit down and actually think that if I confess and he feels the same. Where do we go from there. Like.

Maybe I'm just scared.

But hell, I don't want to have a serious long term relationship with him anyways? I want something casual? I think? Once again I struggle to see myself in a relationship with him because of xyz. And I wouldn't want to be his only partner anyways, I know I wouldn't be able to provide what a proper monogamous relationship needs. And maybe that's a skill issue as well, but I also couldn't give two shits bout trying to provide that either.

So do I just want a situationship? FWB? Be the third in a threesome? But I want an intimate relationship with these people, so do I just want to be polyam?

Goddamn it I live in a fucking capital city. Why does it feel like the queer scene here is so small. Possibly my own fault for not seeking out these communities. But at the same time, there's like 1 gay bar in the city. And I'm broke, and I hate social media (excuses excuses smh. I need to get with the times.)

TLDR: I can't figure out if I'm bi, polyam, aro and/or ace, or just mentally ill.

[countdown-123]

4 days until my life begins

I'm very excited for the surgery. it's a necessity for me, and honestly I'm frustrated that a life saving surgery has been put off so far and the whole process took over a year from referral to surgery. that's an unacceptable wait time for something I've been suicidal over since I was like 13

but that's something I've talked about before

a new anxiety has come up

I saw a pic of someone's (post surgery) chest and I really hope mine doesn't turn out like theirs

there was nothing messed up with the surgery I think, and they seem happy. this post isn't about them, it's about the anxiety that it sparked in me. what if my results aren't good? what if there's still residual of my boob shapes? that's what I'm afraid of. the scars are cool and I don't care about them. my nipples looking odd would make me a little self conscious, but it's better than what I have. but the picture I saw really has me nervous cause there was still like, idk, a boob shape, even after surgery

I've messaged the two people I know who got surgery (one even had the same surgeon as me) and asked if they were comfortable sharing pics of their results. I'm hoping that seeing their success will help me feel better

I'm so scared now tho. I want to be able to look in the mirror and not want to die! is that too much to ask?

I keep having really bad bouts of dysphoria when I think about cis men. I've come very far in actually liking my body, and I'm very happy with my shape in general. but when I remember that I can spend years of my life and 10s of thousands of dollars and still not have what they get for free. it's so frustrating! it makes me feel like life isn't even worth it. like I can't have an adams apple without surgery. I can't have a strong jawline without surgery (or weight loss which I can't do cause I'm barely at a healthy weight now from past EDs). I will never have a fully functioning penis. I'll always just be transitioning towards the body I want

it's so fucking depressing

and I don't always believe all of that. like I said I am very happy with many parts of my body. and I don't have a ton of dysphoria about my genitals (yet). but there's always the spectre of this pain. if I remember it, then everything comes crashing down and I feel hopeless again

sometimes it just doesn't feel like all this effort is worth it

well this was a lot more depressing than I meant for it to be. I only meant to vent about the one new anxiety but I remembered the other pain I've been dealing with

im absolutely ready for this surgery to be here already. I'm so tired of waiting for something I should never have had to deal with. I'm so tired of waiting for something I should have been done with a year ago. I'm tired of being reminded every moment of how my body has worked against me. I'm tired of half of my interactions with customers being painful. I'm tired of feeling behind my sister (tho that won't go away I think, but at least I won't be as frustrated with her for no reason). I'm just tired of being trans sometimes

it's not like I have any other option. and I love celebrating our community and teaching others. but for myself, for my own vent blog, for my eyes only, I'm so fucking tired of the constant pain

and that's not even getting into the political stuff. I just want to not want to kill myself when I see my reflection. but apparently that's too much to ask

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 2 episode 23

HOOO BOY, THE FINAL SET THAT'LL DECIDE THEIR FATE. I am not emotionally ready for whoever wins, in my heart I want my crows to move up, but I also really wanna see seijo go up against shiratorizawa

Shit ok seijo got 1st point, but this is fine, it's fine

NICE SAVE ASAHI! FUCK- NOT MAD DOG

YES NICE KARASUNO! THEIR 1ST POINT

Pft- the baldies be fightin, someone get these dogs away from each other lmao

Jeez, karasuno and seijo always neck-n-neck, tho i guess that's a compliment to karasuno, cuz that means they're close to seijo's level

CMON ASAHI MAKE IT GOOD! HELL YEAHHH GOOD SERVE!!

It hit the net! Cmon crows pick it up!!

oh shit- AHA! GOOD EYE TSUKI!! THAT'S OUR SHIELD!!

Ofc Tanaka is picking a fight with mad dog, that is so him. But it's also a pretty good strategy, piss the guy off enough to start aiming at you. It becomes a lot easier to predict him

Good eye tsuki! For a guy who needs glasses he is perceptive

Karasuno's in the lead! Lets fucking gooo!

Ey? A flashback? Aight it was bout time we got mad dog's backstory. Idk who these background characters are in the flashback, but i love the girl's vibes lol

Ok who tf is this hasn't-slept-in-days lookin guy, am I supposed to know him???

"go scold mad dog, bad!" LMAO FUCKIN OIKAWA

OH FUCK MAD DOG'S OUT OF THE FIELD! Honestly it was gonna happen sooner or later

Brown haired dude (idk the background char's names ok) finally speakin up after so many close up shots of him reacting to mad dog's attitude on the field

Oh thank you haikyuu for giving me the guy's name. Now, wtf is yahaba's deal??

Ah so that's his deal, damn thought they had something more personal going on. But tbf this guy's feelings are valid

HOLY SHIT- HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW THIS GUY UNTIL NOW?? The animation for this scene was so fucking smooth, all to make a background char look badass. This guy has been given the temporary spotlight rn and he is making the most of it

... Damn i need to see these two interact more, I'm invested now fuck

EY! Kage using his knowledge of being with them to his advantage!

Uh oh, mad dog's had his pep talk, he's gonna get the next point for sure

Ohhh, so mad dog's used to acting alone becuz from past experience, he's been left alone. No one's really tried to confront him whenever he gets worked up, instead just leaving him to boil. So his surprised face to being served by oikawa is him not expecting to be given another chance after so many screw ups

... God this show just makes me root for all the chars here huh, not in volleyball, but in character development. Like goddamn there isn't a single char here that I dislike. I love this show

Mad dog found a team he can actually rely and trust awww

Aight back to the action. COME ON KARASUNO!

Uh oh hinata's getting frustrated, kage snap some sense into him

15-15 again, always neck-n-neck

HOO BOY NICE SAVE DAICHI! AH shit they still got the point

"with me around, you can beat anyone" very interesting wording hinata

LMAO FUCKIN "i have a ballsy reason" I CAN'T HSKHSKS

Oh shit- THE GUITAR IS PLAYING, THEIR SONG IS PLAYING. SPECIAL ATTACK COMING IN!! Uh oh ADJUST KAGE! A DUMP LETS GOOO! Omg that could be a new move they could do