#idk i think i will be fine when i actually take it i was going over the essay questions from his previous exams
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Skz when their overworked idol!gf faints
thank you to the anon that requested this!! it is LONG and idk why I gave so much backstory for all of them, but yolo! 2.3k words, fainting and overworking, a couple mentions of weight loss, worried and stressed skz. I fear this qualifies as angst
Chan
He's plenty familiar with the signs of being overworked
He's been trying to support you in any way possible, sending you meals to the company building and convincing you to get rest
You feel bad about giving the food away to your members and texting him goodnight while still working, but you're just too much of a perfectionist
He's excited to be on music bank at the same time as you because he's been having girlfriend withdrawals bc of how busy you were
So so happy watching you and your group rehearse, fawning over your oversized hoodie and little dance moves
But right as the dance break ends he sees you go down
Is nervous that you tripped, but he's sure you'll get back up fine and he'll just kiss your boo boos later
But then you don't get up, and he sees your members start yelling for help
When he realizes you passed out 🙃
Screw being secretive, he's jumping up onto the stage, taking his hoodie off and using it to prop your head up, interrogating all of your members about the last time you ate and your sleep schedule
He tells your manager that under no circumstances are you performing anytime soon
You're stuck laying in the green room with doctors surrounding you until the show is over and then instead of being sent home, Chan is taking you himself
You WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF, and that is a threat
Spends the next week fawning over you, cooking you meals and cuddling you half to death
"You scared me, angel. Let me take care of you now."
Minho
When I tell you he's pissed
He was so excited when you told him about your multiple stages for the golden disk awards
Until you're at three rehearsals a day along with fittings, photo shoots, and appearances
He loves that you're booked and busy, but not THAT BOOKED
He wakes up to your goodnight and good morning texts only hours apart and he cant think of the last time you were home for dinner
He's sent multiple paragraphs to your manager and emailed your company, to no response
He keeps telling himself he just has to make it through the award show and then everything will calm down
However, the lights going down at the end of your stage aren't dark enough to hide you fainting half way off the stage, and he doesn't even notice when he jumps to his feet
He gets yelled at to sit back down, and he only does so in order to grab his phone and call your manager ten times until they pick up
"Oh my gosh she's fine, stop calling."
"She just fainted on stage. She's not fine. Where are you?"
They don't want to tell him, but he pries the information out of them and soon he's tearing off backstage to find you
He kicks everyone out, and he looks so scary that they actually listen
"I'm sorry," your voice sounds so small, still weak from fainting and worried that he's mad at you
But he just shushes you, sitting down on the couch you're stretched out on and pulling you into him
"It's ok baby. You did so good. My strong girl. Just rest."
You sigh into the crook of his neck and he holds you backstage for the rest of the show, idol image be damned
Changbin
HIS BABY IS MAKING HER SOLO DEBUT
He could not be happier or prouder if he tried
He knows it's a lot of work, especially since you're producing and writing all of the songs yourself
He tells himself that he's overreacting, it's normal to see less of you when you're working on such a big project
But you always feed him with updates and stories about your day
So when he hasn't heard from you in three whole days, he's showing up at your stage rehearsal
He doesn't care what anyone says, he needs to physically see you or he's going to have a heart attack
He's relieved when you walk on stage, because at least you're alive
But it doesn't take very long for him to notice the dark bags under your eyes or the way your hand is shaking around your microphone
The second you hit the ground he's running
A background dancer carries you off stage, and they barely hit the curtain before he's snatching you out of their grasp
He walks with you so gently, sitting down on a couch and cradling you while the nurse takes your vitals
He's the first thing you see when you open your eyes and it squashes all of the fear that had filled your gut about what just happened
"Hi doll." He coos, and you give him a tiny smile
"I missed you"
Once you're cleared he's ordering takeout to his dorm and taking you home
Your performance is postponed because Changbin still hasn't put you down a week later
Hyunjin
He knows how excited you were to be going on tour for the first time, and that reminder has been the only thing getting him through
Every time you're meant to come home your company adds another night or a new leg, and Hyunjin is SICK OF IT
Poor guy has not seen his girlfriend in OVER A MONTH
He loves you so much that he watches clips of every show and performance
And he knows you so well that he notices the hollowness of your cheeks and the way you've started to struggle to keep up your energy on stage
Buys a ticket right then and there to your next show, not trusting anyone else to take care of you
He's standing in the wings as you and your group finish your first set of songs, rushing off stage to change outfits
He legit screams when you go down, and if the fans didn't notice before they definitely did after that
One of your members picks you up and soon there's a flurry of people running around trying to make sure you're ok
The other girls are shooed away to go change, with a manager insisting "the show must go on"
Hyunjin sends the man what is quite possibly the dirtiest look to ever exist
When you come to, your boyfriend is holding onto you for dear life, fighting away any staff member that tries to talk to you or coax you back onto the stage
He takes you back to your changing room and locks the door, feeding you small bites like a child and stroking a hand through your hair
"Don't worry about them, be here now. I got you."
Jisung
He's shocked when you casually mention news of your comeback at lunch together one day
"Aren't you not even done with this promotion yet? How are you already having another comeback?"
You shrug, saying something about your brother group not doing very well revenue wise and your boss wanting to take advantage of your groups current success
Jisung frowns at that, but decides to keep it to himself, surely as your companies main money maker you'll be well taken care of
But then you don't come home after your music bank performance because you have to run to a dance rehearsal
And then you have to cancel date night to re-record an entire song
Jisung shows up at the first sound check for your new comeback, and you happily give him a kiss before heading onto stage with your group
He frowns, worried about how small you felt in his arms and how weak your hold on his hand was
He sees you teeter once, accidentally bumping into another member before fully crashing onto the stage
He feels like he can't breathe watching the girls try to get you up and responsive
Your fans are screaming and there's a paramedic running over
He's holding onto your hand the entire time your vitals are being taken, tears streaming down his face
Once you're cleared he's wrapping you in a blanket and holding onto you like you're made of glass
When you wake up he's promising to never ever let you out of his sight again
"We're becoming a duo. You're never allowed to scare me like that again."
Felix
He is worlds proudest boyfriend
He gets to watch HIS GIRL perform onstage AT COACHELLA
He'd spent the day with you, taking pictures of your festival outfit and reapplying your sunscreen to try and keep you safe while in the middle of the literal desert
You'd kissed him goodbye three hours before your stage was scheduled for, needing time to get ready and have some extra rehearsal time
He isn't sure why considering you'd had rehearsal every day this week while also making interview appearances and flying to different locations in between instead of sleeping
He's trying his best not to worry, but your eyes are looking hollowed and he isn't sure the last time you slept in an actual bed instead of a plan seat
It makes him sad to see you unable to give your best energy during the performance, though you even at 50% was still the most exciting performance of the day
He plans on being backstage when you exit after at least two more encores, but you apologize for no encore tonight and are only halfway off the stage when you go down
Let's out the worlds biggest gasp
He follows right behind the paramedic that carries you off the stage and into the back, refusing to be more than a foot away from you at all times
He calls and cancels the rest of your appearances himself, insisting that you need to be resting
You do not escape his hold or your bed for the next two days
"Just let me take care of you! You deserve some princess treatment right now."
Seungmin
He's so so excited that you're also at lalapalooza bc that means you guys can spend time together even tho you're working!!
You're even an mc, so he gets to stare at you on the screen backstage, which just so happens to be his favorite hobby
He wasn't expecting your group to actually perform considering you'd just finished the Japanese leg of your tour and had been performing every night for the last few weeks
But he sees your stage listed on that days performance list, and he frowns thinking about it
He'd made you tea last night after you'd showed up to his hotel room on the verge of losing your voice, and you were so tense when you laid down that he'd rubbed your back for almost an hour with no difference
"Are you sure you should be performing?" He asks as soon as he enters your changing room
"No, but it's just one more stage and then I get to rot in bed for a while. So I'll be okay."
He still doesn't like it, and he shakes his head but gives you a hug anyways, rubbing a soothing hand down your arm
"You better."
He's so stressed he can't stay in the boys waiting room and he stands under the stage as he watches the lift take you and your group up
He catches a glimpse of your performance from the monitor to his left, and he barely breathes until you're taking your last bows
It isn't until the stage starts moving to bring you back down that he sees you wobble uncertainly before falling onto the ground
All of your members jump in surprise, but they don't even have time to react before he's jumping up with them, the lift not even fully on the ground yet
He picks you up and lays you down on one of the spare blankets backstage, propping your head up against his torso while the rest of your body lays between his legs
His thumb rubs your cheek while the medical team checks you out, clearing you when you become responsive
You blink up at him slowly, eyes shiny from unshed tears
"I guess I was wrong."
He sighs, letting you bury yourself into his chest
"That's okay, I've got you now."
Jeongin
End of the year award shows were no joke, and Jeongin knew you were working hard for your performances
Your group had just finished promoting your last album when the never ending flood of award shows started, and he'd found you knocked out asleep in the most random places the past couple weeks
He hated that your group had such loud antis, because he knew how much pressure you were under to prove yourself
You'd told him about the strenuous dancing you were doing, learning borderline acrobatic tricks while conditioning like you were trainees all over again
He'd done his best to remind you to rest and slip protein bars into every bag you owned, but he knew you were past exhausted
He momentarily forgot his worrying when you were performing, and he let out cheers and danced with the rest of his group while you and your members put on an incredibly challenging performance
But all of the fun was drained out of the air when he saw you go down on stage as soon as the camera zoomed in on your maknae's ending fairy
The lights drop, and Jeongin whips his head around in every direction, trying to think of anything he can do to help
Hyunjin asks him to “go to the bathroom” with him as soon as you’re offstage, and that’s all the clearance Jeongin needs to go running backstage
You’re already awake when he finds you, small tears slipping down your face while you nurse on a water bottle
You can’t even say hi before he’s practically tackling you, pulling you so close that you can feel his own heartbeat in your chest
“Are you okay? Oh my gosh you scared me. Don’t ever do that again.”
Your members leave the two of you be while Jeongin clings to you, refusing to let you go for hours, constantly brushing his hands against your heartbeat
#stray kids reactions#stray kids headcanons#stray kids x reader#stray kids x idol!reader#bang chan scenarios#minho scenarios#changbin scenarios#hyunjin scenarios#han jisung scenarios#felix scenarios#seungmin scenarios#yang jeongin scenarios#chan x reader#minho x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#han jisung x reader#felix x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader#stray kids angst
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Roomies G.S
✧ s.m - the everyday life of you and roommate suguru geto
w.c - 1.1k
warnings. fem reader, use of y/n, slight nsfw, mentions of sex, mentions of nudity, flirtatious behavior, brief gojo x reader, etc.
an. second installment of the jjk roomie series. for the next post, do you guys want sukuna or choso? comment your picks below.
Roommate Geto who honestly, you forgot even lived there. Between the tattoo shop and hanging out with Gojo any chance he gets, he’s rarely ever home.
Roommate Geto who only really talks to you when it’s time to pay his rent. The first Sunday of every month he knocks on your door and hands you an envelope full of cash, that he makes sure you count so you know he isn’t gonna short you.
Roommate Geto who, whenever he actually is home, cooks some of the most amazing food you think you’ve ever had.
“Geto oh my gosh, this is the best chicken parm I’ve ever tasted”
“I thought you said you’ve never had it before”
“Okay, so? I don’t have anything to compare it to but it’s still out of this world”
“You're funny, thanks pretty"
"You are very welcome"
Roommate Geto with the MOST annoying best friend you've ever met.
“Gojo, for the love of God, how many times do I have to tell you to stop eating all my snacks. I know for a FACT Geto buys plenty for you to eat while you’re here”
“Well I finished all the ones he got me last night”
“That doesn’t mean you eat mine asshole”
“Fine sorry. Here’s 40 bucks go by yourself so more. Oh! and while your out could you get me some of that strawberry mochi, you only had the mango flavor, not one of my favorites but I can’t be too picky I guess”
“You are unbelievable”
“Why thank you”
Roommate Geto who has the worse timing humanly possible. What are the odds that the one time you forget you towel and have to run from the bathroom to your bedroom, at the very same time Geto decides to pop his head outside his room for the first time today.
“Oh my gosh.”
“Oh…my..gosh”
“ARE YOU LAUGHING”
“No, no no im not im nottt”
“YOURE STILL LAUGHING”
“I mean I’m not laughing AT you, your body’s amazing, it’s just that-”
“EXCUSE ME”
“What? I call em like I see em”
“are you serious right now?”
“are you naked right now?”
“I’m leaving”
“Just like your towel”
“SCREW YOU”
“Just say the word sweetheart”
Roommate Geto who after the “incident” won’t let you live it down.
“You know, its rude to laugh every time you see someone”
“Well, it’s also rude to run around the house naked and not tell anyone”
“It was a MISTAKE”
“that’s what they all say”
Roommate Geto who is a major tease. It’s like every time you see him, he’s shirtless, sweaty and begging to be licked.
“What are you staring at”
“Nothing”
“I don’t knowww, it kinda looks like you were staring at my abs if you ask me”
“Well, I mean, you’ve got em just sitting there, all on display and whatnot so I mean could you blame me really”
“guess not.”
Roommate Geto whose surprisingly….unlucky in love? He was up to four dates this week and returned home alone, once again.
“Hey, how’d it go”
“Idk man, maybe the problem is me”
“Why, what happened”
“She was just so boring and so superficial. I mean oh my gosh all she talked about the entire time was about how good all her ex’s told her she was in bed and how at the end of the date she’d give me SUCH a good time.”
“Wow, what a date”
“I know, like gosh I don’t remember it being this hard to get laid, like ever”
“Well, if you’re tryna just get screwed then you’re being a bit picky don’t you think, I sure she was a decent enough lay”
“Well, I mean yeah, but I’d also like to sleep next to someone I wanna get up and make breakfast for in the morning”
“I mean, you got me there”
Roommate Geto who talks you into letting him do your first tattoo.
“Oh cmon, don’t be a baby”
“Don’t be a baby? This is a permanent decision, not something to be taken lightly, AT ALL”
“It’ll be something small, in a place that won’t hurt too bad, it’ll take at the absolute most an hour”
“What would I even get”
“Something small and cute that represents you, that you won’t regret in forty years. And that’s not a butterfly.”
“What’s your beef with butterflies”
“You know how many teenage girls I give butterfly tattoos to each and every week? I’m so tired”
“Well, you’re in luck, I was actually thinking about something else”
“So, you’ll let me do it”
“Yeah, why not. Yolo right”
“YES”
Roommate Geto who has a surprisingly large, sweet tooth.
“Geto, did you have Satoru over recently”
“Yeah, he was over last night, why what’s up”
“He ate all three of my packs of mango mochi. AGAIN”
“Oh um, actually that was me”
“You ate it? Since when did you start eating sweets like that”
“It’s a bad habit I pick up every now and then, I’m really sorry, I left some money on the counter for you to get some more, did you see the note?”
“I saw the money, no note. I left it there because I figured you just forgot it there or something”
“Nah, it’s all yours”
“Thanks, hey so that one-time last month when I got that strawberry cake and it disappeared the next day you blamed it on Gojo even though I didn’t even remember him being here, that was you”
“Uhhh, yeah”
“An entire cake Geto? Get a grip”
Roommate Geto whose been home an unusual amount.
“You’ve been home a lot recently, what’s up”
“Tired of seeing me already?”
“No, but I mean, I used to forget you lived here you were gone so long, and now you’re here no later than eight every day. Believe me I enjoy the company but it’s worth mentioning”
“Yeah, everything is fine, I just idk, have had more reason to be home recently”
“Yeah, reasons like?”
“You”
“What?”
“What?”
“What’d you just say”
“Nothing, why do you ask”
“But you just-”
“I just what?”
“hmm”
“Hmm”
Roommate Geto who you might have a crush on. I mean in your defense; he’s been turning up the flirt tenfold, and when there's an impossibly hot, tattooed guy cooking, cleaning and flirting with you, it's hard to help your feelings.
Roommate Geto who you, scratch that, DEFINITELY have a crush on. That's probably why you ended up in his bed last night.
“Geto, where are you going. You know its rude to sleep with someone and disappear in the morning”
“Well seeing as how we’re in my bed, I think you’d have to be the one to sneak off on me. But relax, I’m just gonna go make breakfast. You got anything in mind?”
“Mmmm how about, pancakes”
“Whatever you wish beautiful”
border by @bunnysrph
I hope you all enjoyed. don't forget to comment choso or sukuna next post.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#geto x reader#jjk geto#geto suguru#jjk x reader#getou suguru x reader#fluff#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo saturo
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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#rereading trc while simultaneously falling back into aftg stuff by virtue of reading tsc and thereby transporting myself back to when i#was sixteen but it's fine it's totally fine like it's whatever 😁👍#r.txt#anyway. me when – me when i – me when i'm trying to tell my best friend that i'm gay but i'm also trying to tell him i can take stuff from#my dreams and i took my now pet raven from my dreams like from my head i'm a dreamer but also that's kind of the same thing but also it's#really not but also it is bc it's an allegory but also that's not the only thing the dreaming is an allegory for and also i'm scared to tel#him like i'm terrified actually and i don't want to tell him but also i need to tell him but also he already knows but i don't know that he#knows and also i was goinggggg to tellllllll himmmmmm arghhhhhhh#this scene is soooooooooo like. like AOUGH. ARGH OUGH AGH AOUGHHHHHH#<- sounds of a guy taking minus xp damage with every word read of this stupid scene. he literally was going to tell gansey 😕.........#trc#ronsey#like i need 2 lay down. he came out there to tell him......the timbre of his voice being described as strange&initially unrecognizable....#i read this part like. 2 weeks ago idk. smth of the sort. and i'm STILL thinking abt it....you came out for something.....when you'd made u#ur mind to confess but ur mouth betrayed you in the end......associated with secrets and guilt......MAN.....
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hmmm hwon
#speaking.txt#trying to sort through how i feel about the whole situation im hoping rambling here will help#subjectively i don't feel much of anything regarding it all. if you know me you know that im generally emotionless so this is#not unique. objectively though i feel upset it got to this point. i think?#looking at the timeline of events without dates cuz i don't have them; rumors about him working at a host club start popping up#they spread. generally on the international side at least no one cares if this is true or not because whatever if he does#people notice that a lot of basic facts about the group in the posts are wrong so who knows if it's even true#gfent just announces they're taking legal action then silence. which i guess makes sense if they are pursuing legal action#america tour ends. more rumors about him having a partner start spreading. blows up. hwon is announced on hiatus for health#reasons. the general assumption is that the health reasons stated were mental health reasons given everything that was going on#silence about his condition for a few months. then one random morning his departure is announced for vague reasons#if it's his choice to leave then that's his choice to make. i hope he can live peacefully from here on out#but if it's related to all the rumors and stuff spreading one would think better artist protections with definitive statements about#everything would help some; no?#if there's one thing gfent is it's vague idk how many times they make clear statements on matters#and i get. that not everything in life is clear cut there's grey areas everywhere. but when it comes to the artist under your label#shouldn't you want to help them better? if the rumors were false be clear about that from the beginning. if you investigate and#they're true and they're harmful be clear about that. if they're true and not an issue be clear about that#i don't get why you'd say nothing the entire time about them which would probably really influence his choice to leave#i don't know him ill never know his reasons for leaving ill never know if gfent actually pursued legal action. and that's fine im a fan and#theyre a business at the end of the day but it's just so weird i guess. i do feel bad for hwon. and i will miss him in the long run i think#i just can't help but feel if everything was handled better it wouldn't have to come to this y'know#or if it did come to this it'd be more justified. or something idk
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actually finished this a while ago but i havent gotten around to sharing it .. but this is shri'iia's act 1 costume hihi... scuffed fancy drow armor that's based around the ingame set except it's more heavy armor than light/medium. the pose looks so awkward rn but im planning to do a set with her costume progression so it'll make sense later <3
#bg3 tav#drow tav#oc: shri'iia.#mine.#just sharing this now bc i havent been posting lately.... just been saur busy 😔#and the bg3 brain rot doesnt help lol#but i have some stuff in the works!! esp this jb thing im pretty excited abt ... but its pretty big (in my standards anyway) so its#going to take a while but hopefully i can share it soon......... bc i do like it lol#but anyway for this armor i actually like it??? its giving in game and im into it#my only issue is that it looks /too/ ornate for like act one.. but tbf this was her fit when she got kidnapped so it does make sense??#and its giving paladin which was the point.. but im like hmm maybe its too finely detailed maybe thats why im nitpicking it#i still think her cloth piece in the middle should have some pattern but idk what to add lol
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...
#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom
#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this#(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect#making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard#also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift#AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled#but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen#also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot#but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested#not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap#and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied#which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh#and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer#like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage#and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc#AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be#but ANXIETY#its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember#if i fucked up or not#and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much#fuck#wish me luck#ks talks
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.”
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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Heard about TK wanting to write WW for 100 issues and do a Trinity spinoff?
Yeah.... that's the word on the street 😔
To be honest with everybody though, I don't think he's hitting 100 issues. I think Tom King THINKS he will be writing 100 issues of WW comics, but I'm very skeptical. Like it's true he got pretty close to 100 issues when he was writing Batman, but that was during Rebirth, when comics were being published twice a month. At a normal monthly pace, 100 main title issues works out to be a bit over EIGHT YEARS. Even with specials and annuals and possible events (or the Trinity spinoff) compressing that timeline, there's still no way in my mind that Tom hits 100 issues in any less than five years. He spent three on Batman. You know, Batman, his #1, the guy he has to bring up every issue? Do we really think he's going to spend over twice as long on Diana?
Like personally I'm just not convinced that Tom King cares enough about Wonder Woman to write her for that long. Like I think he likes her, and I think he thinks she's cool, but reading his book he seems to love to put the focus anywhere except on Diana. Like all the narration is done by the villain (meaning we don't get Diana's actual thoughts on any of this) and the backup are all TK's audition to write supersons (so we're losing page space that could be utilized to develop the current narrative in favor of possible future stories with no plot relevance)
Like idk. Tom King is talking the talk and I think he has the power at DC currently to walk the walk if he really wants to do it and his hype squad keeps sales high, but he hasn't convinced me so far with his work that he has it in him to see out so many issues of Wonder Woman, especially when Diana finally defeats the Sovereign, and if Trinity gets her own book, like what is he going to do with his remaining 80 issues? Actually telling WW stories?
It seems to me from what I've read of his WW and interviews abt it is that this "100 issues of Wonder Woman" thing is coming from his opinion that Diana deserves a 100-issue run, rather any great, passionate love for Diana that would actually motivate him to write her for that long.
So anyways, my stance is that if he's really putting in a long one (however long it may be) we just hope for the best, (Diana getting her narration boxes back and being central in her own story again, Trinity getting booted back to Themyscira to be forgotten raised offscreen, etc.) and try to make the most & wait it out
#idk i could talk more abt this but ive already talked a lot so idk#think tom king is really wanting to be pérez here (p sure i read him saying as much in an interview) but instead i predict it ending up as#more of a WML type run (just with much better art)#idk idk. worried that were going to have the Sovereign stuff take forever and ever which is super annoying to me. i literally hate him so#much. not even in a fun way like i want diana to beat the shit out of him and get him out of my comics books permanently like yesterday#also worried that hes going to try and have baby trinity be a part of the narrative. as in a diana raising her type way. like if baby#trinity gets kidnapped and she has to get her back like ok fine but think theres a possibility king hits a wall when it comes to like diana#actually being her mother. bc like diana is one of if not the busiest superhero in the dcu shes got major shit to do and no partner or#stability to actually take care of a baby while still being wonder woman. plus she has an entire island nation that would (and has!) take#that child in in an instant. so like pls go with that and not try and juggle plates and do the former#esp bc having trinity be raised on the island basically cancels out the diana's kid stuff. like not bio related not being raised like thats#just a relative homie#idk#anyways calling it now hes falling short of the hundo. hope im not proven wrong here#or that maybe one day tk wakes up with a miraculous ability to write great wonder woman stories. id be cool with that too. we take good news#here too folks#blah
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Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency
#ramblings#it's probably all three tbh#it's not severe. like i can live with this. it's fine#but also i generally wish i had a flatter chest#every time i imagine myself in my head i see myself with a flatter chest#but like do i wanna go through the trouble of getting rid of them entirely#or should i just try getting a binder or something#or should i just. leave things as they are#idfk#i don't think top surgery would be an option bc money and. i'm scared of surgery honestly#and the recovery looks painful as shit#and like what if i regret it? what if i was wrong and that wasn't the best option for me?#i think i should just try to get a binder or something. just see how that works for me#and contemplate surgery when i'm older and can support myself and am more sure of whether that's right for me or not#also i'm. hesitant to call it anything bc again it's not really that severe#it's like. a thought that occassionally crosses my mind. at least once a day.. and doesn't leave for a while....#hm yeah no maybe it's not as mild as i thought it was actually. wonderful realization to come to in the middle of writing a post#anyways. idk if anyone has any binder recs or anything i'll take 'em#also maybe tips on how to approach my mom abt this?? idk if feels like something i should talk abt with her but idk how to even bring it up
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aaaaaa
#this is becoming a realy bad issue ruining my life but i cant talk to anyone about it :(#even just it in the wild drives me crazy its so bad ...idk where to go about it#uggh...it really sucks. it sucks so bad. like i literally cannot do anything about it. even if i were to have someone i trust enough to#talk to about it its just so fucking...i cant tell anyone...SO im gonna be vague about it sorry x_x i know ppl get so curious#sorry im venting in the tags because i feel bad making an actual post#not like it changes anything lmao but it makes me feel better#i feel really bad venting on here but its kind of comforting. i wont do it again..or..often#i wish icould fix this. one tiny thing and it sends me into this like...spiral. it sucks. it sucks. its so embarrassing#its making my life a hell i try to avoid it as much as possible luckily its easy to avoid but when i come across it it HITS me#it hits me. like right now. i hate it. and it hits me and it makes me realize how bad it really is and it takes up my mind for hours#like seriously? out of every problem i could have why is it this lol#i wish i knew what was wrong with me.. i dont think its normal..but oh well#sorry for venting im fine ill try to not do it again or at least go in depth like this. its just. ruining my life i have to get it out-#-in some way even if its vague like this. i dont know if this makesm e feel better even#i think im pmsing lol which probably makes it a bit worse so im fine#venting on tumblr is so embarrassing but i just. no one i trust i can talk to about this. this is all i got#sorry for clogging ur dash lol#i wish i was normal -_-#thunder roars
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Nia my little victorian era child who wouldve been an iPad baby had those been a thing back when she was still a human
#nillas#psychic child#Aha what a silly guy [Whacks her with a hammer] [Whacks her with a hammer] [Whacks her with a hammer] [Whacks her with a hammer] [Whacks he-#You know back when she was my persona ages ago & when she was older in concept she was supposed to be an extremely online kid?#Someone who would engage in discourse 24/7. Actually now that i think about it she was less a persona more a caricature huh.#but anyways kinda interesting how shes younger now & even though her coping(?????) mechanism(????) changed it changed for the worst#look at her! Shes a gambling addict now thanks to her backstory and what she represents! I fucked up a perfectly good 18-ish year old!#Its fine though having someone whos addicted to new tech & things like social media would be rlly out of place#bc the only time modern tech was ever a thing in any of these stories was 1. Spinner/Micah/Varl's sci-fi era and 2. Town AU#also probably Aka's time but either way. Besides the town au Plot-wise no one really had the time to online 24/7#*to be online#Even if someone had time they wouldn't be nearly as plot relevant#Take for example This Kid.#idk why i suddenly thought of that. Here's another fun fact originally I kinda wanted the town to be a metaphor for social media.#Also originally She‚ her brother‚ & sanity checker were going to be robots but i changed it so that *Micah* was the robot#& those 3 became . Weird. Guys.
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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