#idk i love drawing my faves beat the fuck up

[applejackofalltrades]

been a while since i tormented one of my faves via violence. also been a while since i did dramatic lighting. feeling like my old self with this one! (how many of these kinds of drawings have i done? probably like... at least 6 or 7)

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Talking about a lot of stuff, including some follow-up about malfunctioning peens, Malleus’ steamy romance with the NBC’s fukukaicho and 6 out of 7 overblotted boys being bottoms.

Anonymous asked:

Holy shit. THANK YOU for that lil drawing of Dirk. He's my fave of all time and getting art of him from you is a treat~. Good tassssteee ✨💚

Also I hope this is fine to ask (idk if this was asked before too).

Do you ship Dirk with anybody? 📝👀

Hehehe thank youuuu~ Good taste indeed, for both you and us! Dirk is great; whenever we randomly remember Homestuck, he is one of the first ones I think about.

Our main ship with Dirk is Dirk/Jake, we’re kind of basic in this regard lol But Dirk’s relationship with Jake is such a wonderful hot mess, I honestly adore them.

Who knows, maybe when we get into Homestuck again and reread the whole thing, we’ll get some other ships with Dirk in addition to this one…

Anonymous asked:

"Maybe he shouldn’t be so terrified of doll!Rook after all 🤔"

NO, EPEL. BE TERRIFIED. WORRY.

Wouldn't it be fucked up though if this was a doll he found standing around at his grand aunts house or something?

Epel, TURN ON YOUR SURVIVAL INSTINCT! RUN AWAY, EPEL!

Maybe this is what he is going to do upon finding this creepy doll in his grand aunt’s house lol Why does she have a doll that looks like Rook-senpai? Is Rook-senpai himself cursed..? No matter how you slice the situation and how you try to rationalise it, it’s scary…and very cursed.

Anonymous asked:

lol the ED ask reminded me of that one comic on pixiv about kalim demonstrating to his father how he could get it up only with jamil. not even the prostitute that his dad called could do anything about it, it just went down as soon as she touched it...

also poor ace, i guess improving your performance is kind of like improving your magic: lots of practice, patience, also riddle is there to help sometimes

That one comic on pixiv was absolutely right lol I love how it’s a universal thing to look at Kalim and think “nah there is no way, this boy isn’t getting up for anyone who isn’t Jamil”. Can’t blame Kalim though; Jamil is hot.

“Riddle is there to help sometimes” sdfuisdh YES PLEASE 😭 Somehow, it sounds hot and disastrous at the same time though. Ace would absolutely think that Riddle is only going to make things worse… and then Riddle will get pissed off and put his dick in a collar. Serves him right..?

Anonymous asked:

Maybe a bit of a random question, but do you have any thoughts on fukukaicho/Malleus?

I thought it was cute how in Sebek's glomas vignette the vice president was both intimidated and curious about Malleus. Even though talking to the Draconia fanboy made him rethink his plans, I hope he got to dance with Malleus after all

Anon, YOUR MIND. YOUR BRAIN. It’s such a good idea that I keep wanting to write a reply and then immediately get overwhelmed with how good of an idea it is LOL

Not gonna lie, Malleus + just some regular guy is such a fun combo, with Malleus’ otherworldly presence and kind of detachment from the world of regular people, so pairing him up with fukukaicho (who is like pretty much a mob character) is perfect. I also hope he got to dance with Malleus, this would be such a memory to cherish forever… and the fact that Malleus “out-of-everyone’s-league” Draconia would be very engaged and flirtatious during the dance only makes it better. It’s like the biggest jackpot one could get- scratch that, the biggest jackpot would be to sneak out with Malleus Draconia and fuck him in the Bell Tower lol

He should pray that Sebek doesn’t find out…

Anonymous asked:

Since 6 out of 7 of the overblots are bottoms (damn, it really is a bottom disease to Be Like That) have you ever thought about them getting fucked out of overblotting? Just railed until they're normal again?

"This man can't be fixed. I can fuck him though. Maybe that will calm him down" type beat

Once again, YOUR MIND-!

A bottom disease..!! Absolutely. Azul is such an outlier 😭 He is breaking our perfect statistics goddamnit.

I think about fucking those hoes out of their overblot every single time I remember about them overblotting, to be completely honest… 😳 If overblotted boys didn’t take so much time and planning to draw, I would’ve drawn all of them getting fucked already, I still might in the future. It just feels so correct! Especially with Riddle, but also with the other boys as well.

Ace and the Heastlabyul mob fucking Riddle, and then Trey finishes him off? Yes. Leona getting his itch ferociously scratched by, you guessed it, Ace again, but also Jack and Lilia and a couple of Caters until he doesn’t feel like throwing a tantrum anymore? Yes. Jamil getting used by the fish mafia and then the entirety of Scarabia students and then Kalim? Yes. I don’t even want to describe what Rook should’ve done to Vil…

And Idia is the only one who’s actively fucking while being overblotted because blot!Ortho is always with him and they’re literally connected lol

Don’t know the details of Malleus’ overblot yet, but I am 99.9% certain it’d get fixed with good ol’ getting dicked down.

[ellieellieoxenfree]

22, 24, 25

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

canon is not always great at doing this either, but trauma and disability. i look at some of my faves — rita farr, josee, vegas theerapanyakul, ai di, hartley rathaway, teresa mendoza, rita west — and they’re fucking absolute messes, all defined by some brutal shit. their respective canons have handled this with varying degrees of sensitivity (you know exactly who i’m subtweeting) and i don’t participate in all of the fandoms for these pieces of media, but i turn into an absolutely wild beast when people gloss over that because it’s too much of a challenge to include. people who faced years of childhood abuse or who were suddenly confronted with an unexpected, uncontrollable loss of autonomy are going to struggle with those things. one of these characters got shot multiple times in the abdomen, for chrissakes. and people are like ‘idk i guess he can have a marathon fuck sesh it’s cool this won’t interfere with his life in any way’ like YES IT WILL YES IT IS FUCKING PERMANENT, DIANE. there are physical effects and limitations that never go away. there is an ongoing, volatile sense of loss that will body you over and over again for the rest of your life. i love josee for tapping into the anger of disability (you know how i feel about my best girl) but i also love characters whose canons force them to grapple with a reality thrust upon them at a point in their lives when they can draw a clear delineation between Me Before and Me Now, rather than those who have never known the grief of your bodily function being ripped from you unexpectedly. and that isn’t just disability. that’s betrayal and abuse and loss of security and stability and identity. and if you can’t actually deal with the whole of a character’s raw ugly misery and anger on top of the fun fluffy bits to read or write then MAYBE the messes are not your arena.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

ooooh i’m gonna get canceled for this one but i will block people who get into internet slapfights about gender and sexuality. i’m an old shithead so i find the trend of needing to affix 500 microlabels to every character exhausting, especially in canons where none of these people would have the remotest fucking idea what you’re banging on about. and further, i find it extremely off-putting when a male character expresses traits that aren’t in lockstep with stereotypical or toxic masculinity and immediately gets painted as trans. i see one of these essays where you spend 10k assigning things to a character that are really just you projecting your own identity onto your fave and onto the blocklist you go. some of y’all make me miss fucking kinnies.

i also cannot fucking abide ship wars, because i came from a fandom where people got so mad about a pairing taking up too much screen time they engineered a plot to ruin a real person’s career over it (that was wave one of the bullshit, but i digress). i have watched that shit happen for years and years and yeaaaars — usagi/mamoru and seiya/usagi fans used to throw temper tantrums at each other like they were getting paid to, way back in the day — and it has never gotten any less noxious. it has, in fact, just gotten fucking worse with the increasing curdling of twitter and stan culture. it was bad enough when it was just screaming at each other over which boring girl harry potter should bone but now people have let that shit spill into the real world. now it’s just a normal thing to try to affect someone’s careers, or discuss your rpf ships in front of the people involved. FUCKING BOUNDARIES. LEARN THEM. RESPECT THEM. what the fuck is wrong with you people. stop sharing your fics with them or tagging them in your art. and yes, that even goes for bryan fuller. just because he’s a freak who probably beat off to all the hannibal/will art you sent him doesn’t mean you should have sent it in the first place.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

since you’re my BTS buddy…i wish for a meteorite to strike everyone who identifies as an army because if i’m stupid enough to go into the tag, 99% of the posts are ‘hybe/bighit is out to sabotage (fave’s) career’ or ’this is why (ship) is the only truth and everyone else is a dirty sinner going to hell for wrongthink’ and holy shit TAKE A MIKE’S HARD LOOK AT YOURSELVES FOR FIVE MINUTES. if you are so deeply invested in the sex lives of some random korean guys that you are getting legitimately angry at other people on the internet about them not thinking your preferred boy is making the sign of the two-backed aardvark with your other preferred boy, log off. go the fuck outside. i’m not above cracking jokes but some of y’all are rolling out the murderboards and obsessively documenting every single moment their faves happen to be in the same area of the stage to explain why one of them moving their little finger an inch to the right means he’s gonna get his ass eaten after the show.

the career sabotage shit i don’t even know, understand, or care to know. i see it in the tag fucking constantly and it exhausts me. i need to not engage in baseless conspiracy theories. i’m not here for this. just like i’m not here to figure out who in the group is taking a ride on the humpatron 3000, i’m not here to go through a million posts on 50 social media sites every day combing every single word choice for evidence that my faves are one wrong step from being put to death by bighit management. i just want to enjoy myself for five goddamn minutes.

as a very casual new fan, my experience has been 1% gifs of people whose faces and talent i enjoy and 99% screeching harridan drama whose point entirely eludes me. i hate all of these people. i hope they fall into the ocean. maybe the fish will be a more receptive audience than i am.

[cousticks]

Fave character and why (overall)

What type of characters do you typically enjoy? (for me i usually like dead characters because of their... idk there's just so much to work w there 😭 like so many things for interpretation/potential)

What got you into bsd

What got you into tumblr

Can you give at least one tip or advice on how to recover from a hyperfixation on something when u need to be productive?

Are you better at writing or drawing?

If you could choose, which would you be better at?

Do you like painting?

Are your friends nice?

Forgive me for the random asks. jus answer the ones you want to ty ❤️

Is it weird if I answer all of them? I think all of these are fun to answer so I'm gonna answer all of them. Tysm!!

Favorite character overall is... really difficult. I like so many different characters for so many reasons across so many different medias. Even choosing a favorite from BSD is wildly difficult. Of all characters ever, one of my favorites is Cal Trask from John Steinbeck's East of Eden (the book, not the movie, even though he is played by James Dean). East of Eden is one of my favorite books ever, and most of the incredible themes in it, all of the cycles it represents, as well as the cycles it finally breaks, are done through Cal. He struggles with being good despite a thematic predisposition to being anything but throughout his portion of the novel doomed-by-the-narrative style, until at the end the resolution is that... he doesn't have to be either, he only really has to be him. I love that book dearly and could talk about its themes for hours (and have!). As far as favorite BSD characters specifically, that's near impossible for me to say, but a rough top-group would include Kyusaku, Kouyou, Dazai but specifically mafia era, Kunikida, and Albatross. I don't have any really good reasoning for those top favorites beyond "hehe, I like them," honestly.

I usually enjoy characters that it takes a while to piece together their motivations. Morally grey. And I mean actually morally grey, not the asshole-that-does-nice-things antihero type. I like characters that make me want to think about them and piece them together and study them like bugs under a magnifying glass until they start to catch on fire. Dudes who suck but have so much potential to be more. Make me have to justify why I enjoy them in front of a board of directors. I love to be able to fill in between the lines.

A former friend group got me into BSD back in 2019 because they were all watching it and I happened to have the time and energy to. The sheer amount of media to consume & intrigue of the characters is what made me stay, though.

This is horribly embarrassing but my first stint on Tumblr ~7 or 8 years ago was sparked by learning that the Onceler fandom existed and being absolutely fascinated by it. It was already dying out by this point, so I wasn't active or anything in it, but I thought the way people interacted across blogs to make these wild stories was so fascinating. Specifically the Truffula Flu zombie arcs. I was a Camp Entre loyalist. A couple years later I accidentally deleted my blog and didn't get active on Tumblr again until a little over a year ago, though, when I wanted to start engaging with the fanbases some media I was fixating on at the time.

If I could figure out the secret for recovering from a hyperfixation in a productive way I would be a much more functional person. Sometimes I'm able to approach things with an "if you can't beat it, join it" mentality, and can come up with ways to connect my current task to whatever I'm fixating on. Here's the secret: you're allowed to be cringe with it. If you need to do the dishes and need to make it a mental competition for "oh boy I need to be less of a disaster than Dazai its fucking on" or "I need to do my math homework so Kunikida will be proud of me" or "gotta do my laundry... I gotta be dressy for my port mafia work attire..." then do it. Who cares. That doesn't work all the time, but it can work sometimes. And when it doesn't? I normally just try to clear my mind entirely by doing something that sucks so much I can't think of anything except how it sucks. For me its cardio. I hate cardio exercise. But if I go on a jog and come back I a) feel a little better and more functional because I went on a stupid exercise for my stupid mental health, b) got some of the excess fixation energy out, and c) that sucked so bad i would literally rather do Anything else i might as well be fucking productive. These are not sure-fire ways but they help me. And my most important one? You can't focus when you're stressed. Trying to force yourself to focus when you're stressed about an assignment and panicking because you can't focus will not help you, it will make the problem worse. It is okay to give yourself some grace, walk away, try to put yourself into a healthier mindset, and come back. That's another reason I like to take walks when I can't focus, even if its just a small one down the hall for a glass of water and then back. Don't force yourself. Never force yourself. You'll feel worse and more frustrated.

I'm much better at writing. I'm horrible at drawing, I just do it anyway for fun because sometimes I need to get my fixation kick out in a visual manner. Writing has always been my strong suit.

If I could choose? I think I'd still pick writing, honestly. I'm sometimes jealous of those that can make gorgeous art, but I'm happy in my world of writing because it has helped me in so many other areas of my life as well. I don't live an artists life, unfortunately, and writing has served me well.

I do like painting! I haven't in a very long time, as I don't have the time or energy much, but I used to sculpt and paint my creations. I'm not saying I was particularly good at either, but I used to, and I enjoyed it.

I didn't always have nice friends. But these days? They are. I wouldn't trade the friends I have now for the world.

[nctsworld]

reigniting

✩ mark x reader | dance au | enemies to lovers | car s*x | smut | fluff | 1.6k

SUMMARY ⇾ your hate for your dance captain (and ex-best friend) melts and evolves into something more for the night. WARNINGS��� ‌⇾‌ smut (near the end), car s*x, swearing, angst in backstory RATING ⇾ mature FOR ⇾ @markleesflathead​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ yes i’m bitter that most of my fics in ask form don’t show up in tag so i might have to post them as individual fics hhh || @markleesflathead​ idk how this ended up into car s*x but i’m sorry if it isn’t what you really expected slkfmd also i’m v flattered to be one of your fave writers *_* thanks for the bday wishes!!

“I missed this.”

Mark suddenly says into the air after catching his breath from all the laughing he just did. With the hand that’s been resting on the steering wheel since he parked the car fifteen minutes ago, he swipes his thumb against it.

Your laughter subsides too, turning your head in the passenger seat to get a good look at him.

The closest street lamp isn’t near enough to cast a light to see all his features clearly, but you don’t need much lighting to see the waver behind his bespectacled face, nor the way his Adam’s apple bobs.

“I missed you,” he whispers softly, then matches your eyes with a tilt of his head.

The beginning was simple. You and Mark, best friends since middle school, about to attend the same university and were going to do everything together, including extracurriculars.

Which included the university’s main competitive hip-hop dance team, since both of you were on your high school’s too.

From what you heard from upperclassmen, every year, the team offered at least five spots open. Of course, Mark and you were confident in yourselves and each other to make the team.

But during your first year, only one spot was available on the team.

The straining of your friendship began to slowly occur, since you saw less of each other in order to train more individually for the auditions.

And when the auditions happened, there was a new tension between Mark and you. Still friends, but competitiveness was a prevalent wall between you two.

The wall grew larger, tangled with vines of jealousy and bitterness, when Mark received the spot, not you.

Both parties tried hard to keep the friendship afloat, but it eventually came crashing down.

“You’re just fucking jealous that I got in and you didn’t.”

“Yeah,” you said. “and I should be, because I’m the better dancer.”

“As if.” he scoffed. He spat out the next words venomously—

“If you were better they would’ve chose you, but you’ve just never been as good of a dancer as me.”

That was the last time you spoke to Mark... for a while, at least.  

When second year came by, you decided to prove him wrong and obtain a spot on the team. Successfully, you did, but partway through the term, the captain dropped out and, to your dismay, Mark was given captaincy.

Fast-forward to today, Mark constantly gave you shit during practices and you knew it was personal.

Sure, you could’ve quit, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. However, you always did wonder why he didn’t decide to kick you off the team when he had the power to do so.

Following one practice, Mark ordered you to come by the studio on a separate night for a talk. He claimed it to be extra training, but you were mentally prepared for him to finally remove you from the team.

However, you were wrong and the unexpected happened—the wall between you two began to crumble. The hostile professionalism during the extra session grew into an area of familiarity, remnants of a lost friendship. After the session, Mark swallowed his pride and apologized about what he said back then, even offering to take you out to dinner.

During the meal, both of you caught each other up on the last year or so, and at the end of the night, Mark drove you home.

Laughing, smiling, and talking with you like the last couple of years were a nightmare faded into nothingness.

And you didn’t mind it, because you missed him too.

But instead of telling him that, you nibble on your bottom lip and rock your head forward with a small smile.

Continuing the conversation from where you left off, after Mark agreed to stop giving you such a hard time during practice, you say, “Can I ask you to stop doing one more thing during practice?”

“What’s up?”

“Please, for the love of God,” you say with your hands clasped in a prayer. “Stop rolling your shirt sleeves up, it’s terribly distracting.”

A hearty chuckle escapes from Mark, leaning his head back into the headrest. “Why is it distracting?”

“You know why!” you exclaim, beaming. “I know you do it on purpose!”

He cocks an eyebrow playfully. “And why would I do that?”

Rolling your eyes, you reply, "Because I know the oh-so humble Mark Lee still loves it when he gets attention."

The driver runs his tongue over the bottom of his teeth in a smirk, hand still on the steering wheel.

"And what about you?” he retorts. “You must still have a thing for arms if you think it's distracting."

You gasp inaudibly, unsure of how he could still remember that tidbit after all these years, and you twist your upper body to inch near him, glaring at him accusingly. "Is that why you do it?"

"Maybe, maybe not..." he shrugs nonchalantly. Leaning closer to you, parroting your stance, he adds in a teasing whisper along with a squint of his eyes.

"You'll never know."

There’s a passing beat as your eyes lock, one that carries the weight of the years of loving each other as friends, hating each other as enemies, working together as dancers, and everything in between.

A moment of connection that represents what everything has been working towards to for a long time, even if you never thought you’d have the chance to ever have Mark in your life again.

His look falters for a millisecond, flicking to your lips, then straight back to your eyes as if he shouldn’t have done that.

The corner of your mouth lifts slightly.

"Are you going to kiss me, Mark,” you whisper daringly. “or are you going to keep staring?"

You’re awfully aware of both of your breathing. Yours, heavy and wanting. His, light and barely existent.

"How do you know I wanna kiss you?" he croaks, a small crack in his voice underlying his question.

Because maybe a little part of you always wondered what it’d be like for Mark Lee to want to kiss you since you were kids—for him to send you that anxious starry-eyed yearning that could send your heart into cardiac arrest.

And now, from first-hand experience, you know it really does.  

You hold your breath and question back—

"Am I wrong?”

The tension in the air snaps. He’s fast to cup your cheeks and crash his mouth into yours. Soft lips move in tandem with yours as you rest your hands on his shoulders, lightly tugging at his body.

The first, tender kiss is quickly thrown aside, along with your shirts. The desire escalates immensely and you’re suddenly straddling him in the driver’s seat, now pushed back to give extra room for both individuals.

"Should we slow down?" you ask offhandedly at one point while Mark’s mouth leaves a hot trail down the side of your neck. At the same time, his fingers glide and grip onto your bare waist, making their way to grasp your breasts.

Mark jerks away from your neck and carefully caresses the back of your head. "Do you want to?"

"Mm-mm,” you hurriedly shake your head and drag him into another strong kiss.

The exciting rush continues to run through both bodies present. When you return to the passenger seat momentarily to rid of your pants, Mark shimmies his bottoms and briefs down to his ankles and pulls a condom from his glove compartment.

“How often do you have car sex?” you joke, straddling him once again after he wraps himself.

In his reclined position, Mark looks up and scans your body quickly, both indulging in your natural beauty and in disbelief that you are here with him right now, after all these years.

“Hey, a guy’s gotta be safe—fuck, God.”

All quips and logic are thrown out the window when you sit on his length.

You have one hand pressed against his defined stomach, the other on the car ceiling. Bouncing with no end in sight, you allow the pleasure to enrapture your senses. Muffled whimpers reverberate against the inner side of your wrist as you feel him deeply with every movement.

On the other hand, Mark tries his best to keep his focus on you, but the intensity breaks him down. He groans in pace with your moving body, and he tightens his hold on your waist.

“Mark—” you cry. You rip your hand from the car roof and, without thought, frantically push it against the driver’s window, smudging the frost that all your collective breathing conjured up. You’re surprisingly already coming undone, and so is your lover beneath you.

“I’m close,” he pants thickly. His hazy gaze attempts to meet your half-lidded eyes, but you’re losing control. All you can do is barely nod and as you’re about to bounce more vigorously, Mark releases your waist and raises himself upward, clutching your back and neck to lock lips fiercely with yours.

You barely can thrust against him, but you don’t need to at this point, because the kiss is simply enough to draw out his climax.

You’re pulled back to reality after a few moments, panting with your foreheads tipped against one another.

“And to counter your question from before,” Mark grins, still breathing heavily. “I’ll only stop rolling my sleeves up during practice if you stop tying your shirt up to show off your waist.”

You try to stifle a smirk, but it can’t be helped. You reply to him with a flutter of the tip of your nose against his.

“No deal, captain.”

nctsworld’s birthday week celebration!

[causticsunshine]

some common headcanons/tropes i love 💞

i’ve been thinking about headcanons and tropes i really like and use a lot in my harringrove stuff - as well as patterns i’ve seen in other peoples’ work - and i wanted to write my fave reoccurring themes out! i’d love to see what y’all got, too!

so here are some headcanons and tropes i fall back on a lot, not really specific to any kind of AU’s or canon:

VERS BOYS I WILL DIE ON THIS FUCKING HILL

before we found out billy’s mom skipped out, i always kinda went with the insinuation that she passed away (and now we know that she didn’t, i’ve got one WIP in particular that i need to figure out if i’m switching to the canon route or not...)

rivals to friends with benefits to lovers... i still love that sweet post s2 fuckbuddies (in love) plot for billy and steve and i think w/their dynamic it translates really well to a lot of AUs and slightly alt. settings!

cocky secretly-a-virgin billy is so fun but so is hoe billy who’s never had like... really loving intimate relations with anyone until steve?? i’m a sucker for both and it just depends what i’m in the mood for, but i could definitely see both being a thing

gay billy and bi steve... enough said

i’ve written modern AU billy being this gross hot, insta-thot frat boy that dresses with his tiddies out every day and genre hops his music a lot, as long as it’s got something kinda heavy to the beat (like catch kendrick lamar and mötley crüe on the same playlist) (also secretly closeted??) and i LOVE IT but i also really need more modern au billy that’s really just a slightly updated take on how he dresses in canon, with some more obvious metalhead overtones, like more tight pants and cut-up band tanks, more piercings... long hair + undercut combo maybe 

i picture modern AU steve just dressing like joe a lot of the time lmao - so maybe that’s more like... an indie, alternative loving steve? - but in reality i think a direct translation of canon steve would shop at places like pacsun and own a lot of nice sneakers and wears nice watches but totally had that awful boat shoe, printed crew sock combo prep phase when he was younger

(i think i just need to draw all the modern au designs out now)

steve thinks rob lowe and johnny depp are hot, but i don’t know what kind of actresses or singers steve would have the hots for other than that sexy lady poster in his room, lmao, and my Gay Tastes prob won’t match to his haha (although kelly lebrock in weird science... yes please)

billy and steve in california... maybe they settle there, retire there, do a summer there... idk i just NEED them together in california at some point

i can never settle on actual career paths for them - and i currently only have one wip right now that takes place solely in their future - but i love billy working with his hands and steve picking up something he never gave much thought to and being really passionate about it (a teacher? a vet tech? who knows, but SOMETHING he really ends up loving and is good at)

i also really like the idea of billy working with kids who’ve gone through similar things to him regarding his family life, like seeing himself in these really angry, hurt kids and trying to be that guiding hand showing them they deserve better and how to control their anger, etc. 

hop and joyce looking out for both steve and billy warms my heart thank you... i love hop being this gruff but loving dad to billy but steve’s parents are (seemingly) never around and i want joyce making jonathan tell steve he’s welcome to come to dinner and big found family holiday potlucks at the byers (yeah i really like to pretend they don’t leave w/el in s3)

steve + his parents... i’ve got a solid idea of his dad being this rich asshole type that’s disappointed steve won’t live up to be his carbon copy and makes sure he knows about it, but his mom? she could be really loving but distant b/c of steve’s dad’s cheating so she picks the business trips over staying home, being or in the same vein as his dad as clearly disappointed, a rich wine mom who cares more about the high life than her kid... regardless i just think them not being around affects steve more than he’s willing to admit

i want them to have pets!! i don’t think either of them were allowed pets growing up and i think it’d be really good for them? i’ve been trying to pepper it into more stuff but haven’t yet (also i’d love to see them with both (a) cat(s) and (a) dog(s) together, like each pet prefers one of the guys and it’s hilarious)

tattooed billy... i think if given the opportunity billy would deck himself out because he’d feel like such a badass with all this ink; the smoking skull was just a starting point 

billy totally got his ear pierced in someone’s bedroom or garage with a sewing needle 

scarred billy?? like post mind flayer, he’s got these big white marks all over his chest and ribs and back on top of all these nicks and scars he’s gotten over the years and at first he’s really self conscious about them but as time passes he shows them off? i Cry 

steve shies away from using nicknames with billy at first, but once he does start to use them, when they’re properly together, he does it almost shyly at first because he’s not sure how billy will take them, but billy absolutely melts

last name basis slows once they get together other than when it comes to little quips and snarks, maybe even if/when they fight, but i imagine using their first names for each other also has this air of intimacy to it

billy and nancy butt heads but billy and jonathan have a kind of weird understanding that throws both steve and nancy for a loop

other than max, will and el are billy’s obvious faves out of the bunch; dustin’s always going to be steve’s #1 but he’s also got a different kind of relationship with each of the kids?

BIG DICK STEVE

smart billy... also steve is not dumb! homeboy didn’t study for fucking years but also it makes me think: distraction issues? 

that’s all i got for now but i want to do another one of these at some point when i think up some more i fall back on a lot!

not going to tag anyone b/c there’s not really a format to this and it’s not really a tag either; i just think it’s fun to see what other people include in their own personal canon, so if anyone wants to go ahead and share too, please do!

[ificanthaveu]

Dani Reviews Wonder

hello, I'm well aware no one asked for this but this is the only way I can order my thoughts on an album and when Romance came out, someone literally asked me to fully review it and I've never forgotten about that and I loved writing a full review so hello here I am

I hate that I have to do this but DISCLAIMER: these are my opinions. I get that you may not agree with them and that’s totally cool, but if you come into my inbox attacking my opinions on a song, I will not answer it and it will be deleted without a second thought. Let’s discuss the songs, not tear each other apart 

and LET’S GO

1. INTRO

Ok so I typically do nothing with intros because I usually think they’re a waste of time. HOWEVER, I really like this one. Now that we’ve heard the whole album, it really encapsulates the entire feel of the rest of the album. It’s been on my playlist since it’s been released and I'm obsessed with it. The soft little piano in the beginning is just perfect and I really love the build up. (not many lyrics to chose from here ope)

You have a million different faces, but they'll never understand unless you let them in

2. WONDER

I never did a full analysis like I was going to for this song. However, I’m going to do like half of one here. I honestly feel like he can be talking about himself, his fans or a girl. You can see it in all 3 ways. I also just feel like there are some lyrics in this where I'm like YES. It reminds me a little bit of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift in the fact that we expect so much from celebrities and like.....why??? It’s just kind of fucked. I think this is honestly such a good single and I really really love it. I feel like it’s just really pure?? if that makes sense. Like he’s just being like “I wonder why it is like this.” and the BRIDGE ugh she's so beautiful.

I wonder why I’m so afraid of saying something wrong. I never said I was a saint.

3. HIGHER

A CERTIFIED BOP. It’s just so lively and upbeat and I wanna dance and I CANNOT WAIT to hear this live. It’s going to be absolutely insane. Blasted it on my way to get coffee this morning. And the lyrics are so lovey and cute but the beat is just too fkn good. I feel like it’s a very common theme in this album to be like “with you, nothing else matters” and like...can’t relate but ALAS I love the music about it anyway.

All eyes are lookin' at us but I can't stop fallin' in love

4. 24 HOURS

OH BOY time to FKN CRY. I absolutely love how old timey it feels. Especially the beginning, it makes me think of 50s music and I’ve been on a big 50s kick recently. Again he’s just so loud about being I don’t care what anyone thinks because I love you and I know it’s you and like YES PLEASE. and just being so in love that you’d throw it all away to come home to that person every day. I really love how the lyrics start with him being like I don’t know how to do this at all but I love you so lets go from there and then figure out the rest. And quoting “only fools rush in” made me so emotional. I love how simple the music is behind it because I think it really encapsulates the feeling of the song. It’s so hard to pick a favorite lyrics for this song my god.

(Besides the entire chorus) I paint the world that you deserve, every color you'd imagine

5. TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE

UMMMM OK???? Very Justin Timberlake vibes for me personally. Very 70s. Very vibey. “Draw a map for me laced with strawberries” ???? HOMIES I cannot I genuinely cannot. As sexual as this is, I also think it’s just so PURE. Like just teach me what’s best for you and I’ll do it. Also like...Shawn say “fuck” challenge like homie you could’ve just said it. Please. I also feel like if I was in love with someone, it’d hit different but for me it is just so FUN and I love the guitar parts a TOn. Like Idk how you can’t just get up and dance to this. Also this one live is going to be other worldly. And “babe I won’t stop til you feel the rush” I MEANNNN

F'ing me up, I'm what you dеserve

6. CALL MY FRIENDS

Ok, so idk what to really say about this one. I like the concept. I think the concept itself is really sweet and fuck it hits different when you’re away from all your friends especially during quarantine and college in general. Like I was (still am) on the phone with my friends constantly, because like Shawn said, they know me better than any one else ever will because they watched me go and grow through it. It’s also just sad because we grow up and grow apart and fuck it’s HARD. I’m not a huge fan of the chorus and I think that’s the main thing for me. The verses are sweet, but idk really about the chorus. I’m just indifferent about the chorus. But there are just lyrics in here that really hit me like “I miss how it was when we we wished we were older.” that one really gets me. 

I know you gotta make some sacrifices, I don't wanna be alone for one more night

7. DREAM

Ok I LOVE THIS SONG but I have to first get something off my chest. The first time I listened to it, I could only think of the dream song from shark boy and lava girl. I don’t know why. But I’m done with that now. Moving on. This song is just so sweet and lovey and I’m obsessed with it. I really like the rhythm of it?? I think that’s the word I’m looking for idk. ALSO him talking about their little touch bracelets like wtf why is no one in love with me. I honestly don’t have much to say about this except that I’m thoroughly obsessed with it. I kinda feel like this song could be in a movie?? you feel me??? The echoey “dream”s are also just GORGEOUS, also how it gets so soft at the end fuck I love this song. And if I think too much about it I’ll cry, but the parallels between Dream and Dream of You

I don't wanna wake up without you laying next to me

8. SONG FOR NO ONE

This song makes me sad. Very sad. God, just the feeling of having a notification and wanting it to be that one person and it just never is but every time you’re like ok but what if. I was thinking about this last night and the way I see it is that he’s made it clear all of his songs are for/about Camila. So I feel like this one is very guard up, being like “no no this isn’t about you, I swear I’m not writing songs about you. it’s about no one. it’s just something I made up” which just makes it all so much harder. Also the use of “someone” instead of “her” or “you” is also very like “I’m not going to say it.” It’s just all very sad because you have to imagine everyone asking him all the time who his songs are about and he just had to keep saying “no one.” This is the first time where he’s actually been able to say “HEY THEY’RE ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.” And like fuck, finally. Also imagining Shawn drunk calling her and her having to say she doesn’t feel the same. AND when he's like it’s fine I’ll be fine anyway as his voice kind of trails off like GOD that feeling HURTS. I just have way too much to say about this song because I think you can go really deep into it on what the years before Camila and him started dating were really like for him. 

Close my eyes, things are better in my dreams, 'cause I'm with someone, someone I adore

9. MONSTER

I won’t say too much about this bc this song has been out for a little bit, so I’ll make this a little more personal. my friend Han is a HUGE Justin fan and I am pretty obviously a HUGE Shawn fan. and we’d always be like “omg what if” but we thought it was never going to happen so when rumors started circulating about this, we were fucking freaking out. This song is literally our dream collab. I think Justin was the perfect person for this song because of his time in the public eye. And just the whole song being like “you put me up here, so I guess you’re the only one who can push me off.” And it is pretty fucked how we put celebrities on these pedestals and expect them to not make any mistakes at all when we are constantly making them. It’s just hypocritical. It’s also hard to pick a favorite lyric for this one because I think there are a lot that hit hard so I’m doing a fave Shawn and fave Justin

Raise me up into the sky until I'm short of breath // ‘Cause unforgiveness keeps them in control

10. 305

This one surprised me in the best way. I have no idea what I was expecting for this song but god I LOVE IT. I’m obsessed with it and want to jam forever. Just very boppy??? and so HAPPY. I get so smiley when I listen to it. “Waiting for the moment that you’ll let me down” just stuck out to me because I feel like that’s such a universal feeling. Like when everything’s going so good and you’re like....ok what’s about to go wrong. I’m literally dancing in my seat to this baby. The chorus is so catchy and I really wish I was in love pt 358933. I think this may be crowned as my favorite on the album. It’s just so fun and full of love. 

Would take my heart with you if you walked away

11. ALWAYS BEEN YOU

I have been looking forward to this one and she did not disappoint!! Again, this man is screaming about how in love he is and yes, sir I’m listening. You’re the only one my heart keeps coming back to!!!!! And just the very loud instrumental with the soft “always been you”s is SO GOOD. The boy who’s really underneath all the scars and insecurities!!! God, I just feel like this one is especially raw about love. And for the thousandth time, really wish I was in love to fully feel this but STILL it has such a good beat but is still so so soft. 

Full of words I don't know how to say

12. PIECE OF YOU

Heavily reminds me of Jealous by Nick Jonas and I am HERE FOR IT. I feel like we haven’t gotten a ton of this blatant jealousy from him and the HONESTY of this is very like yes I'm possessive. I’m so into you it hurts!!! The counting is also.....hot. Idk why but I love a song that’s very like “yes I'm protective and pathetic and reckless and what about it???” Again, love the beat. A little 80s in my opinion (here’s me remembering it’s MJ inspired lmao). 

From the second you walked in the room, my night is ruined

13. LOOK UP AT THE STARS

*deep breath bc I love this song so much* ok so I read the lil things Spotify had underneath before each song and I cried immediately when I just READ that it was for the fans and then listening to it in that light just killed me. ALSO if you saw his insta live last night he was literally like “look up at the stars!! remember that one!!” and now I'm like OK THANKS. Anyways, It is so soft and fuck it’s so meaningful. This is one of my favorites for sure. It’s literally like he’s sending you away from the concert and this would be such a good closing song (I know it won’t be but I can dream). I’m crying again but “I'm not going to let you down”??? PLEASE I JUST. Calling us angels!! I’LL NEVER BE ALONE Y’ALL I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH. Never Be Alone has very much turned into our song with Shawn as his way to be like hey I’m always here so YOU’LL never be alone, and now here he is saying because YOU ALL are here I am never going to be alone. AND FUCK IT HITS DIFFERENT. AND SPENDING THE NIGHT IN WONDERLAND WITH YOU!!!! God I’m just a puddle after this one

the streetlights are all saying your name, they always say your name

14. CAN’T IMAGINE

he wrote this on his own and yes I'm emotional about it. I don’t think he’s released a song he’s written on his own since handwritten revisited??? (correct me if I'm wrong) but even that alone is enough for me to know he’s getting way more confident in his music. I think it’s a really good closing because it’s so soft and acoustic and very true to him as he started. The raspiness and realness of it even with the lil thing he says at the end. AGAIN, why tf have I not felt a love like this yet??? Of course, I’m just going to not think of it romantically but just having those people where you can’t even begin to even think about what your life would be like without them. Like I think the lack of descriptors is actually really powerful because like...he can’t imagine it, he can’t explain it so let me just tell you that I genuinely don’t know what would happen if you weren’t here. It closes out the album perfectly (not many lyrics to pick from here lmao)

Without you, all things right would feel so wrong

OVERALL - I honestly really like it there are a bunch of songs I can see myself listening to for a WHILE but there are a few that I'm very eh on as well. I really like the sound of it and the production and just the ~feel~ of the whole album

TOP 3

1. 305

2. Look Up At The Stars

3. 24 Hours

Honorary mentions: Dream and Teach Me How To Love

[mememan93]

too 10 zelda games and why?

an ask? sick!! ok top 10 zelda games with reason coming up! (why cant i tag asks??)

1: skyward sword (duh)- Everything about this game is amazing, the soundtrack, the Npcs that feel like people, the puzzles, the controls, just everything! The storyline was linear, but really worth it! This might seem unpopular, but i also loved fi, from her aesthetic to her theme, hell i didnt mind her tips, no matter how many times i play through the game! People say they dont like having to fight the imprisoned/ghirahim 3 times. I loved the ghirahim fights and didnt mind doing it 3 times. And while the imprisoned was annoying, it was there because of plot consistency. The old woman says that too much power will draw it out, and if that didnt happen every time yall would be complaining about plot consistency. Skyward sword also had some of my favorite characters: Ghirahim and this version of Zelda!

2: Spirit tracks (wii u virtual console): this was my first Zelda game, I used to play it at family events with my cousin on his ds because social anxiety. You might think that i have it so high for nostalgia, and while that was the case for a while, i recently got the virtual console version, and played though it twice (you know when you do something recently it loses its nostalgia?) the soundtrack was great, i loved anjean, and zelda in that game was incredible. Taking the form of a phantom to help you, literally all of zeldas and links interactions were adorable. People said hey didnt like the touch controls and while they did take some getting used to, i adjusted kinda quickly, and when i played phantom hourglass afterwards, i kept dying cause the rolls were different.

3: Ocarina of time (3D): yes i didnt have an N64, fight me. Oot is a fan favorite, and for good reasons. It basically invented the zelda formula (if i have my release dates straight?) not counting alltp. Shiek is one of my favorite characters in anything ever, and admittedly, i did get a little sad when navi left. The soundtrack is good, but short when compared to other zelda games (that and it keeps getting taken off of youtube gdi!) again, ive never had an n64, so idk what the water temple was like back then, (i know about the iron boots gear screen) but from some of my cousins reactions, it seems to be a LOT better in the 3ds version

4: A link Between worlds: This is a really solid entry in the zelda series. Its got just enough difficulty that i dont remember literally everything, but easy enough that i can listen to something like TAZ while playing and understand whats happening in both. Ravio is a good character, though i wish you could steal for him. The items system was really cool, but i like that feeling of “whatre ya gonna get in this temple” that most zelda games have.

5. Minish cap (virtual console wii u): the minish cap is an all around pretty game. The graphics are just beautiful, the soundtrack is amazing, specially minish woods! And its got another of my fave characters, Vaati! Ezlo was also a great character, and sure the kinstones are annoying if youre tyring to 100% the game as are the figures, so this is why we dont 100% things! /s

6. Majoras Mask (3D): Disclaimer: i havent finished this, i was in ikana when my sister lost our copy of the game. But i know the story. MM is a game with only 4 dungeons, so it would seem short right? No, because of the 3 day system it takes longer than expected and wants you to plan out what youre doing. It had a lot of memorable sidequests and the masks were really fun as well. The soundtrack takes those OOT sounds and creates a whole new feel and its a heckin good time!

7. Twilight princess (wii): another game i havent finished! This time because spider scary, and im worried about encountering another one. Midna is super awesome, as is the wolf form and twilight sections, but on the wii, the controls are… awful. Anyone who complains about skyward swords motion controls has obviously never played this version of the game. Zant was cool, but then he was immediately overshadowed by ganondorf with little explanation. At least in Skyward sword ghirahim makes it clear that all he wants is demises resurrection. 

8. Wind waker (HD): for a lot of people this is their favorite, but idk it just never really clicked with me. Maybe its because i saved in the wind temple and Makar vanished so i had to reset my game? The soundtrack was good, but not really my fave, and i didnt like the king of red lions all that much. But other than that, it was a pretty solid game, just not one of my faves.

9. Phantom hourglass (wii u virtual console): after i beat spirit tracks i just HAD to play phantom hourglass, and i gotta say, i was pretty disappointed… the temple of the ocean king was like the tower of spirits, but the time limit. Oh the time limit. Also they fucking nerfed tetra in this game cmon! Ceilia made navi nosies, which i found funny for some reason. Honestly, the only saving grace is linebeck. his theme is amazing, he did grow on me, and the final boss fight against him was *chefs kiss*

10: Botw (both wii u and switch): yeah i just dont really like botw all that much. Half of the soundtrack is pretty decent, but the other half is * 5 piano notes* “what you want MORE???” I didn’t like botw Zelda. At all. At best she was quirky and kinda annoying, and at worst she made me wanna slam my head into the wall. I also didnt care about the champions, no matter how much the game wanted me to. The divine beasts were pretty bad, and the shrines were just kinda tiresome. The graphics were pretty cool (THANK GOD THERE WERE NO SPIDERS) i mean its a cool game, just not a cool zelda game, ya know? Also this is the only game thats made my wii u crash. And it wasnt just one time. Do with that what you will

[flyingfishflopsthings]

pmd list questions. all of them :0

Omg thank you snick 💕

1. Have I played all the games? Yeah! I’ve not played some of the variations like red rescue team or sky (though my copy of sky should arrive next week 👀) or the Wiiware games but for all intents and purposes, yeah! Basically!

2. Favourite? My favourite is definitely explores! It’s both very nostalgic for me (my sister used lot let me do missions on her copy of time) while also a game that stands up really well, story wise, as I didn’t really know the story before I actually played it last year. In close second is gates though. It’s just so good! 🥺

3. Fave partner character? Cinders!!! My Darkness partner!!! I love explores partner, they’re so sweet and they have a great arc!!

4. What did you name your characters?

Ok so in rt my hero is Emmy (bc people irl call me Em & she’s my most self insert character) and partner is Iggy, which I think was short for incenderary device????? Or ignition or something??? I was struggling for names and she’s a torchic so I looked up fire words I think.

My Explorers hero is Luca and my partner is Cinders. however! In the game, Luca is actually named Em bc again, that’s my name, and I hadn’t realised how attached I’d get to this character haha. After a bit I realised I wanted her to be a seperate character, so the name came from a Pokemon rp oc who I never really did anything with haha. As for cinders, he’s a chimchar so again I just looked up fire terms

Cue and Dee are my gates team, and honestly idk where these came from?? I think??? It was because ‘cue’ kind of sounds like axew and Dee sounds like it could rhyme with snivy kind of??? Also maybe bc of deceit from sanders sides? Idk

My super team is Syvia and Sticks. For syvia, I went to fantasy named generator, liked the name Sylvia, and misspelt it and didn’t realise until I’d beat the game. For sticks, I kind of liked the idea of them having a more nicknamey name, and they’re a turtwig sooo.... also it’s a cute name lmao

5. What’s a Pokemon you wish you could play as? CHEWTLE!!!! I think a chewtle hero would be very fun this i why I want a gen 8 game. Of the Pokemon already in a md game though I want Snover bc I fucking love Snover.

6. How do you interpret gengar and Gardevoirs post game relationship? 😳I haven’t actually played much of rts postgame so I haven’t encountered gengars backstory I’m a fake fan I know

7. How do you interpret the future trios relationship? Hmm I think they could definitely get together? More interesting to me is thinking that Dusknoir used to travel with grovyle hero and Celebi before they realised what fixing the future would do, so the post game future trio dynamic is awkward bc it’s like “wellll we were friends but you tried to kill me but then you didn’t so???? Are we friends again??” Haha

8. If you’re an artist how do you draw grovyle and Dusknoir?

As a human apparently I only draw grovyle as a cool anime man looking to the side

As a Pokemon I like to make fun of him for being short

I tend to draw Dusknoir pretty menecingly/looking a bit like a Wild West man which I think is a wild take but whatever

9. Who do you ship? I’m a big fan of chatot/Wigglytuff, obviously. It’s my favourite haha no moment will ever beat “my invaluable partner”. I also ship team charm as a polycule, and I guess also future trio? Idk. Ram paradise and Minchino is pretty obvious. Emolga and Dunsparce I lowkey ship. Idk if I ship emolga and virision bc a. Idk how old they’re meant to be??? And I feel like virision is older but idk. B. I think verision can be aroace as a treat for me :] my gates team are the only ones I’d really consider shipping I think, and I don’t think I have any super ships haha

10. Opinion on nuzleaf’s character? Did you find the twist surprising? Ok so I spoilt quite a lot of supers story for myself before I played it so I knew about Nuzleaf going in so, no I wasn’t surprised really. I think Nuzleaf is funny to make fun of, and he’s definitely a character that it’s funny to be like “that stupid bitch” but like attaching a 💖 to the statement you know? I don’t love??? Him? He wasn’t the most interesting Pmd character ever to me and I feel like the possession thing was a bit of a cop out- if they’d stick with him legit being manipulated but acting of his own free will I would have liked that. Idk he’s pretty fun i think

This was a lot of fun!!! Thanks!!

[fandom-will-be-my-fall]

Spill your heart out about Walter.

Okay so I basically got this question in what, January?? but I’m answering it now since I just rewatched the movie and have inspiration, sorry for the late reply Anon

Okay so, to start off this post with some keyboard smashing because that my primary go-to for expressing my emotions

sgklhfsgjksdlgdghkjlgjhOHUFLUSKHDGSLIDRGKJGKFSDHGlhjglksdhkglshglllllfa. knjcthxiudhusmnvsoidhéytbvonjyxclkkvbr. haeylicfvshdkgikc

HANDSOME BOY. HANDSOME. ‘NUFF SAID.

I could legit stare all day at his beautiful face… look at him. Enchanting sky blue eyes… fluffy, wavy brown hair, cute round cheeks, lovely smile… those hidden freckles that you can hardly spot and only in certain screenshots but nevertheless they’re there to raise the cuteness factor… ALSO HIS LASHES. MAYBE IT’S NATURAL?? MAYBE IT’S MAYBELLINE?? WE SHALL NEVER KNOW

Here you may be able to spot the freckles if you squint hard enough. I have 77 screenshots but this is the best example I could find.

Secondly… well, he’s a sticc. A short sticc at that (though still slightly taller than me bc I’m smol), but a sticc regardless! And that seems to be the most attractive cartoon body type for me. Don’t judge me, I just have a thing for twinks, I’m… twinksexual or whatever.

Look at him! He would fit through my doorcrack.

(Maaaybe the reason for me liking sticcs so much is partially the fact that I like the idea of a boyfriend I can protect and support, physically and emotionally. I’m mad at the universe for not letting me scoop him up in my arms bridal style and smooch the HECK outta him.)

I’ve encountered a few posts that claimed he’s got cake but, come on. That concept has canonically been proven to be false, even by Lance. This man is flat and you can pry this opinion off my cold, dead hands.

Speaking of hands! I like his big ol hands. Nice shape. They look soft. I wanna hold them.

According to a DVD commentary, and the visual facts, he has no shoulders whatsoever. Back in Venice Killian was able to restrain him effortlessly with only one foot on his chest, even as he kept struggling ans squirming and generally put in as much effort as he possibly could. Before then, he claimed the database was the first thing he has ever caught in his life.

Conclusion, our boi’s very much NOT athletic. Which makes sense for a scientist, braining all day and stuff, and because he probably barely even eats, or sleeps which are by the way both pretty concerning implications but anyway.

STOP BEATING UP THIS POOR FRAGILE LAD FOR GOD’S SAKE. Makes me want to protect him even more. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you get what I mean.

Now, on to the actual reason I’m so head over heels for him, a.k.a his personality.

He is one of the sweetest, kindest, purest boy characters I have ever seen in fiction, if not THE number one himself. (All my other cinnamon roll crushes are, or have been a villain at some point and WILL resort to violence if provoked.) Look at him, his pacifism… is unbreakable. He’s dead set on making the world a better place, by peaceful ways, and helping humanity. If that’s not a quality to be cherished then IDK what is.

And he’s just such a refreshing character. He likes pink, K-dramas, glitter, kittens, things that aren’t traditionally “masculine” (but is never made fun of those things in particular in the movie) and I love that. Nothing’s sexier than a man who’s, despite society’s shitty standards, openly and unashamedly himself!

His femininity is, if anything, just another turn-on. (This didn’t intend to sound sexual… but oh well.) I love his little hand gestures and mannerisms, dorky ramblings, the way he says “yep” popping the “p” at the end, all the small yet significant traits that were incorporated into his character. Bless you, SiD creators, bless you.

Have I said that he’s a genius?? Which is pretty obvious but c’mon, he graduated at 15!! He can modify human genes!! He successfully turned a man into a pigeon on the first try!! (The serum wasn’t the first prototype but we can assume he didn’t experiment on living humans with the previous ones.) And he’s still just 20!! Like what is that if not hella fucking impressive???!??

His inventions, to the untrained eye, may seem “stupid” or “childish” but alas! The observer couldn’t be more wrong! Because despite the odd designs and themes they’re all highly effective, as we have witnessed in the battle against Killian. And he is extremely creative for coming up with such ideas! Told you he’s brilliant!!

Which makes me all the sadder about how much they underappreciated him at the agency. In his words, nobody ever listened to him, or gave him a chance. They just left him and his “weird” ideas next to the men’s bathroom and called it a day. How could they be so blind? Didn’t they see the potential in his inventions? Oh well. Maybe I’m just being a smartass bc I have more knowledge, living outside that universe. But I’m totally right.

And I was honestly ready to throw hands with Lance for hurting the boi even further. (I’d stand no chance whatsoever, but still.)

Oh no baby please don’t cry.

He did cry in that scene though… you could see a tear rolling down his cheek and if it wasn’t for the machine beeping… He did have a pretty rough day afterall. But HEY, if we dwell on it too much the scene loses its comedic effect!! A guy gets sad over a stupid soap opera, har har har!! Now let’s move on, keep it fast and snappy for the kids, don’t let them overthink it!! Can’t have any emotional breakdowns onscreen. Keep it lighthearted y’know. Then let’s kill a random side character and have our dear protagonist almost die twice.

(Well jokes on you Blue Sky! I’m no kid, but a devoted fangirl who can and will overthink any material of my fictional faves at any given opportunity.)

You know what else I love about him though?? His love for animals!! And pigeons, especially Lovey!! He loves her so much, gives her gluten free breadcrumbs, nuzzles her, the first thing he does when he finds out Lance can talk to the pigeons is ask if she loves him too!! Like… That’s so pure and wholesome.

This here. THIS RIGHT HERE. BROTP forever.

(Not gonna lie, I used to be crazy for pigeons for like, an entire year or something. Not as in looking up all the facts there are about pigeons as I do nowadays with cartoons, but I’d feed them regularly and write my little observations on their behaviors. Did you know they sometimes scratch their neck with their leggies like dogs do?)

I think I’ve summed up mostly everything I love about this nerd. Oh wait, almost forgot the sass!! I love how sassy and smug he can be sometimes, in like, a really harmless way but it’s still a very nice characteristic.

Since I’ve ran out of coherent things to say, here’s an incomplete list of things I want to do to Walter Beckett. Put at the end of this post so those of you who were only here for the analysis part and not the selfshippy gushing don’t have to read further:

kiss he

like seriously

just kiss he a whole lot

cover his whole face in kisses

one kiss for each of his freckles. a finishing kiss onto the tip of his nose. then repeat the cycle

hug him. hug him like the world is ending. hug him so tight he can barely breathe

then ofc let go and apologize bc I would never hurt him on purpose

cuddle him

hold him close, let him lay his head on my chest

run my fingers through his hair

listen to his breathing

discover that he’s fallen asleep on me and smile fondly, then soon drift off to sleep myself so we can wake up entangled in eachother the next morning

fuck he

pin him to a wall and snog he

make him go cherry red

fluster he

compliment him. praise him. appreciate him. he’s a prince, a hero, an angel, a wonderful human being and he needs to know this

feed pigeons together

listen to his scientific ramblings and bird facts

write him love letters and give them to him. maybe read it aloud myself if I’m feeling brave so I can see his reaction in real time

serenade he

be the love of his life, and have him be mine

just… soft things, man

cook something for this malnourished sticc

make him small handmade gifts

they’re nothing like his gadgets but I tried

draw he

have him be my muse in general

not like he isn’t now but it would be lovely if he was real too

carry him bridal style

be the feral cryptid that lurks in his house when he isn’t around

sing along to cheesy pop-song together really badly

watch cheesy rom coms

flirt with eachother clumsily until we’re both laughing at our awkwardness

or, alternatively, shower him with compliments until he literally cannot handle it

have sleepovers together

give him hand kisses

be of emotional support

[thediverismylove]

LOVER TRACK BY TRACK REVIEW

i forgot that you existed — don’t like the beginning she sounds like a robot lol. “in my feelings more than drake”??? girl no thank you. not a big fan of this song. 3/10. fave lyric is “it isn’t love / it isn’t hate / it’s just indifference”; least fave is “in my feelings more than drake, yeah”.

cruel summer — love the production on this one! her voice sounds really good and i love the way she sings “cruel summer”. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “so cut the headlights / summer’s a knife / i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone”; no least fave lyrics here!

lover — the TENDERNESS of this song! love how easy and pretty and acoustic it it is. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “my heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue / all’s well that ends well to end up with you”; no least fave again!

the man — okay “when everyone believes you / what’s that like?” wig! also when she’s like if i was a man…….then i’d be the man…….and the synths do That in the background? it does feel very Feminism 101 in the verses but the chorus is fun! idk i expected more from this one and it’s def fun but not an all time fave. 6/10. fave lyric is “i’m so sick of running as fast as i can / wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man”; least fave is “and they would toast to me, oh, let the players play / i’d be just like leo in saint tropez”.

the archer — SO gorgeous and vulnerable! love the gentle and introspective vibes of this one and how simple the backing track is. her voice is so pretty in this one! would love to hear this totally acoustic. 9.5/10. fave lyric is “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years”; least fave is the pre-chorus bit that’s similar to humpty dumpty you know the one lol.

i think he knows — ugh hate the intro again talky-singing works well for her sometimes but it really doesn’t work here. very bored by this one. it feels like it’s trying so hard to be fun but it doesn’t have particularly interesting instrumentals/synths/whatever and her voice is way too talky-singy for me here. the last chorus is kinda fun but not enough to fix the whole song. 4/10. favorite lyric is “he got my heartbeat / skipping down sixteenth avenue baby”; least fave is “he got that boyish look that i like in a man / i am an architect, i’m drawing up the plans”.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince — pretty intro! the talky-singing works a little better for me here. the pageant/prom conceit is fun. very amused by her still comparing her adult life to high school prom considering she left high school at like what 15/16 for music? jdeasjkkjcskjn it’s fun tho this song is fun. i have a feeling this one will grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “we're so sad, we paint the town blue / voted most likely to run away with you”; least fave is the “she’s a bad bad girl bit” lol 

paper rings — ooh fun intro! like whatever effect they have over her voice. this one has a really cool beat. like the kiss me once/kiss me twice bit. the chorus is really sweet! the tune is very dance-worthy. i could def see this being played in a romcom (cue me adding it to the playlist for my gay summer camp romcom). didn’t expect to like this one so much but i’m enjoying it a lot so far! idk abt the lyrics im not even listening that closely jfekwjakjnkjn i just love the beat and the effect they have over her voice. also can’t stop thinking about when rey @theglowpt2 said “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” sounds something the try guys would shout at each other lmfao. 8.5/10. fave lyric is “darling, you’re the one i want / and paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams / oh, you’re the one i want”; least fave is “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” bc of aforementioned try guys energies making it humorous instead of cute as intended for me.

cornelia street — like her voice in the intro it sounds very pretty and soft! don’t like the weird synth thing going on at the beginning tho it’s giving me a headache. don’t like the way she launches into the chorus it feels very abrupt. “we bless the rains on cornelia street” lol is this a toto ref? this one is pretty underwhelming ngl. her voice is pretty in some places here though. would probably enjoy an acoustic version of this a lot more. 6/10. fave lyric is “and baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name”; no least fave lyric but i hate those loud synth things at the beginning more than anything.

 death by a thousand cuts — totally thought this was gonna be a song about like. bitter ~haters~ or smth by the title. her voice is really pretty after the “my my my” bit! love the synths in this one. the line about the traffic lights…...wig! okay totally expected to not like this one but i kinda like it. laughing at her going “UNITED WE STAND” tho lmfao. this one will def grow on me. 8/10. fave lyric is “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know”; least fave is “our songs, our films, united we stand / our country, guess it was a lawless land”.

london boy — oh excited for the absolute INSANITY of this one girls! DID SHE JUST REFER TO HER HOMETOWN AS SOCAL GIRL YOU ARE FROM PENNSYLVANIA!!!!! also so amused about she needs to reference the fact that she is american and her bf is british so many times. if i heard this song out in public i’d have to die. did she make a p!atd ref lol. unfortunate as hell but it’s kinda fun. 4/10. fave is none of it; least fave is all of it. 

 soon you’ll get better — oh this one is gonna make me SOB i just know it!!!! the vulnerableness of it all. thank you for a song about family ms taylor! the harmonies w the dixie chicks i’m ascending. this one is so so gorgeous and heartbreaking and the first song off this album that actually really made me Feel Something. 10/10. fave lyric is “the buttons of my coat were tangled in my hair / in doctor’s office lighting / i didn’t tell you i was scared”; no least fave!!! She’s Perfect

 false god — intro is fun! i like her voice in this one it’s #sexi. the line abt being nyc is funny lol…..girl what does that mean you are not a town what does that MEAAAAN. taylor swift said YES i fuck what about it in this song. the line about being the west village…...what does that mean? he’s expensive??? 6.5/10. fave lyric is “the altar is my hips / even if it’s a false god / we’d still worship this love”; least fave is “staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town / i’m new york city, i’d still do it for you, babe”.

 you need to calm down — i REFUUUUSE to listen to this song all the way it’s so corny and ridiculous. taylor rly thot she was doing smth w this one. 3.5/10. no fave lyric; least fave is like. ALL of it it’s very cheesy.

 afterglow — pretty vocals! love me some vulnerable songs. not much to say about this one lol. i like the chorus a lot. 7.5/10. fave lyric is “fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves / chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us / why'd I have to break what i love so much?”; least fave is “tell me that it’s not my fault / tell me that i’m all you want / even when i break your heart”.

 me! — unpopular opinion but i actually prefer me! to yntcd. idk why i just feel like me! knows how ridiculous and silly it is but yntcd does not. maybe that’s just me tho? 4/10. can’t believe she killed the best line of all time aka “hey kids spelling is fun”...that was HILARIOUSLY BAD AND WONDERFUL AT THE SAME TIME. that would’ve been the fave; least fave is the awkward uncomfortable space where “hey kids spelling is fun” used to be.

 it’s nice to have a friend — very forgettable. her vocals here are pretty but the song overall is nothing special imo. do like the dreamy vibes tho! 4.5/10. fave or least fave lyrics tbh it’s just boring to me pretty but boring.

 daylight — WHY is taylor swift so obsessed w/ mentioning that some of her friends turned out to be dicks. absolutely OBSESSED w/ that edit that’s like “i wounded the good and trusted the wicked” over katy perry and karlie kloss respectively it’s peak comedy. very pretty vocals but has some unfortunate lyrics! 5.5/10. fave lyric is “i, i just think that / you are what you love”; least fave is “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air, i breathed in the smoke”.

overall: probably like a 6.5/10? had some really great tracks like lover & the archer & soon you’ll get better but also some BAD ones like me!, yntcd, and i forgot that you existed. it was a fun time but not an all time fave. in terms of tswift album rankings i’m not sure where i’d put it yet get back to me on that one. anyways i’m gonna go listen to lucy dacus now bye

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: the lure of coffee machine burns and demanding customers proved too strong? Jimmy: Your gratitude at getting another smoothie an' all Janis: you found out I was a big tipper? Janis: grapevine getting oddly specific and vaguely complimentary Jimmy: Your boyfriend never said nowt, awkward and 💔 Janis: which one Janis: have to put him on the 'really, never again' list Jimmy: the one who works here but ain't me Jimmy: Pete Janis: so that's his name Janis: cute Janis: well he can't go on that list so I take it back Jimmy: Or I'm lying Jimmy: but I reckon I'd give him a better name if I were Janis: exactly Janis: one every lad has like Jimmy: what every lad don't have is a 🎸 and a band attached Jimmy: he's WELL unique 💕 Janis: OMG Janis: makes so much sense why you're 💘 Jimmy: I ain't 😳 it's the steam, alright Janis: 😂 Janis: If I was a nicer friend I'd be made up for yous Janis: obviously I've learnt from the best and I'll covertly hit that behind your back, sabotaging you every step of the way Jimmy: We mates now? 🎉🎊🕺 Janis: the best 💕 Janis: thought 💔 you ain't 💔 about the friendzoning, obvs Jimmy: I'm made up for us Janis: 😏 good Jimmy: you'll be well about having a gay BFF Janis: ikr Janis: as if they didn't have enough reasons to be jealous of me Janis: ultimate accessory Jimmy: I am gonna ask him to move in though so if you could piss off before the end of our shift Jimmy: Tah, babes Janis: how could you Janis: genuinely did not see this coming Jimmy: when you know you know, girl 💕 Jimmy: soz you didn't Janis: I know lots of things Janis: like his name and passion so tah, dickhead 🏆💘 Jimmy: @petechambers is what you need to know Janis: why you being so helpful Jimmy: he reckons you're my girlfriend, how far do you reckon you're gonna get Janis: reckons you're my boyfriend, by that logic Janis: looks like we're both fucked Jimmy: I don't fuck in the workplace, I told you Jimmy: only customers 👴👵💕 Janis: fucking hell don't say that Janis: not just their spidey senses tingling, eurgh Jimmy: 💀👑 and her #squad ain't here yet Jimmy: can say what I like Janis: 'course not, it's before noon Janis: and as long as your manager don't hear you, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 he won't hear me 😴 in the back either Janis: you must be dead Janis: all the freebie espresso shots today Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: should've let you call in for me Janis: dangerously close to admitting I had a good idea Jimmy: only the one Janis: one more than you had you poor 😴 fool Jimmy: You sleep alright? The 🐕 was being a right little twat when I had to go Janis: like I'd been drugged Janis: not accusing you Janis: just don't usually sleep that deep Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the barman was a bit Jimmy: could accuse him Janis: who am I to turn my nose up at free drugs Jimmy: 👮🚔 undercover me, remember Jimmy: might wanna hit delete on that Janis: listen, you've definitely crossed some boundaries yourself, idc how deep your cover is Janis: you keep it 🤐 and so will I Jimmy: Oh it's really deep like my 💕 baby Janis: 😂 Janis: yep, you're definitely 45 Jimmy: were warned Janis: didn't say I didn't like it 😍 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: #whenshelikestherealyou Janis: just can't help but be goals, me and you Jimmy: tough job but I've already got a piss easy one Jimmy: I'd be bored to 😭😭😭 or 💀💀💀 Janis: so welcome, babe 💕 Janis: shame you can't be bored to 💤💤💤 rn though Jimmy: earnt myself a burn for cheeking everyone's manager 🙏 @god soz, like Janis: 🌩 Janis: he'll get ya Jimmy: bit late for the warning, Jenna but tah Janis: got off pretty light Janis: it could've been genocide, he's a big fan Jimmy: tell it to all the fans who want pics of me touching you up Jimmy: ain't gonna be goals for a bit, that Janis: bad enough you can 🏥 Jimmy: still got skin ✔ Jimmy: makes it a no go Janis: 😔 baby Jimmy: will to live ✖ Jimmy: least I've got you 💕 Janis: you poor, poor boy Janis: and your fave customers ain't there either, what's the rest of the crowd looking like? Jimmy: 👪 and 👫 Jimmy: be why I'm in such a romantic mood Janis: so inspiring, yeah Jimmy: nowt as inspiring as you obvs Janis: how many paracetamol did you pop Janis: very peace and love rn, you Jimmy: might be talking in my 💤 Janis: in that case Janis: let me hold you to everything you say Janis: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: did you/any of yous get a chance to walk this dog Janis: it's being batshit Jimmy: I let it out but unless Cass is up and about now Janis: If she is she's being as quiet as I am Janis: no worries, I'll take it for a run Jimmy: hang on, I'll text her Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, boot the door in for us Janis: you what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: 👮🚔 tactics, mate Janis: not gonna marry your da, remember Janis: no stepmum here Jimmy: well he chucks her 💰 for walking that 🐕 you're gonna at least wanna take that off her Janis: I guess I could let the dog in her room Janis: just blame you or the kid Jimmy: I did it earlier, dunno how it got back out Janis: clever girl Jimmy: 👻🐕 Janis: awh Janis: if I could draw for shit I would Jimmy: Have a go Jimmy: there's loads of shit in my room Janis: feeling #inspirational as well as #inspired, mate? Jimmy: you feeling 🥇 or 🙀? Janis: how do you know I ain't got plans Jimmy: Come on, I'll do it too, let 👻🐕 decide which is better Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: Crack on then, loser Janis: fuck off Janis: I never claimed I was good at art, 🎨 hoe Jimmy: Getting the excuses in already Jimmy: should've just backed out from the challenge, babe Janis: you should get to work Janis: doodling or your actual, like Jimmy: I'm doing both Janis: get you Jimmy: 🏆🥇👑 Janis: ⭐⭐⭐ for your name badge Jimmy: It says Jamie right now so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't suit you Jimmy: only been working here ages Jimmy: don't put yourselves out Janis: your names not actually James then? Janis: least they're in the ballpark Jimmy: Bollocks would it be, Ian'd reckon that too la-de-da Janis: fair, can't imagine that either Jimmy: and anyway we're all y or ie except him 'cause ❄ can't get ideas above ourselves Janis: don't stop every cunt I know giving their kids genuinely mental names though so Jimmy: I've wrote some mad ones on ☕ Janis: ooh #whenhescreativetho Jimmy: his new missus better fall in like my mum did Jimmy: fucked yourself you Janis: I mean, I'd change it but what to Ian, you've got the vision, like Jimmy: @ him Janis: from his house, that'd be hilariously psycho stalker Jimmy: he'd be 😍😍 so don't actually Janis: alright, in your bed not his Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: Get up dickhead there's 🎨 to make Janis: 🙄 alright, on it Janis: ruin the fantasy with your details, why don't you Jimmy: ruin your lie in with my jealousy of it, tah Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: are you concentrating that hard? Jimmy: you need to if you wanna beat me Jimmy: doing you that favour Janis: so kind 🖕 Janis: so considerate 😒 Jimmy: I know 💕 Janis: [hit him with a cartoon of ghost Twix doing a phantom shit in Ian's shoes] Jimmy: [one of those recorded texts things of him loling] Janis: is that a lol of approval? Jimmy: 'course Janis: good, 'cos I tried Jimmy: yours is better than mine Jimmy: glad I ain't the judge Janis: rub it in pedigree, like Janis: she likes you better, maybe a walk would swing it Jimmy: she don't like that I only let her out in the garden for a bit Jimmy: so if you're gonna cheat Jimmy: would be 🥇 cheating Janis: from the professional himself 💕 Janis: leave a note, so your sister don't reckon it's been dognapped Jimmy: 🖕 and 👌 Janis: love you too Jimmy: [sends her his picture of ghost him walking ghost twix and Janis in a ghostbusters outfit getting him with the vacuum thing cos Twix is her true love but someone's spilt coffee on it rudely] Janis: fuck off Janis: that's actually sick Janis: can't even be that mad Jimmy: you ain't judging it either and ☕ ain't a treat she's 😍 for Janis: take the compliment, boy Jimmy: I'm too tired Janis: doesn't anyone at your work have a decent coke habit Janis: inconsiderate, that Jimmy: what kind of rock and roll god are you, Pete? fuck's sake Jimmy: 😱💔 Janis: if he's straight-edge Janis: have him Janis: won't be lectured by some 🤓 however cute Jimmy: from his feed I'd say 60/40 that he is Jimmy: gutted pisshead Janis: actually devastated Janis: please give me time to grieve Jimmy: me an' all, gonna have to rely on you and only you to get me through this shift Janis: I haven't got any on me either, you know Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: he does 🚬 though actually, I've seen him Janis: 😻😻😻 Janis: oh thank god Janis: not ready to let that dream die tbh Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: you don't understand Jimmy: Have you even looked at his profile? 60/40 that bird's his girlfriend an' all Janis: idk what that's gotta do with me Jimmy: she's got better tits than you Jimmy: I don't reckon you'd win if you challenged her Janis: well I know I would but tah Jimmy: You ain't his type Janis: omg you don't know that Jimmy: try some heavy eye make up and a band t-shirt Jimmy: might 👀 at you then Janis: can't argue with good looking Janis: whatever you think you're into Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's with the negging Jimmy: What you want me to big you up? Got that covered ain't you Janis: nah Janis: but shouldn't affect you that I know my worth, should it Jimmy: it don't Jimmy: nowt you do affects me Janis: then stop chatting shit like that to me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: no or what about it I won't fucking talk to you Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't got time for you, my best customers are here Janis: lol really Jimmy: [a pic of them gals, chin chin] Janis: 🤢 Janis: if I never saw that face again, it'd be too soon Jimmy: [resends it with faces scribbled out] Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Janis: time for a stock check, probs Jimmy: time to post something about you more like Jimmy: [does about how much he misses her and how hard it was to leave her there asleep this AM etc] Janis: you trying to kill 'em? Janis: 'cos good job, honestly Janis: they'll at least have heart palpatations at that Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: could do better but this ain't a topless kinda place Janis: we're all 💔 about that Janis: should've taken some creeper shots whilst you were sleeping, my bad Jimmy: such an amateur you Janis: had other things on my mind, happens Janis: my reply will be extra slushy, how's that Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: obvs but yay or nay dickhead Jimmy: where are you? Janis: park opposite yours Janis: why Jimmy: do you look like you belong in a park opposite mine? Janis: fuck you, I'm clean Jimmy: I'm saying make yourself look like you just got out of my bed and get over here Janis: alright then Janis: but that counts as one of my debts paid, definitely Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: er yeah it does Jimmy: How is this a favour to me? Jimmy: They're chatting shit about you Janis: when ain't they Janis: I don't ever need to be in the same room as my sister, tah Jimmy: Stay at the park then Janis: make up your mind Janis: I said I'll do it Jimmy: Not doing this for my health Jimmy: they ain't wrong in thinking I look like shit and if you were any kind of nurse you wouldn't have let me go nowhere Janis: marry 'em then Jimmy: I don't wanna marry you why would I wanna marry them? Jimmy: Also how? In what sequence 'cause can only be one at a time Janis: 'cos clearly you trust in their ability to look after you based on this snippet of overheard convo, idiot Janis: none of them have had a boyfriend longer than 3 weeks, no time to get a fucking cold, nevermind get over it Janis: don't count, they're a hivemind Janis: cut off Mia's head, they all die Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how can they possibly have anything to talk about Janis: not seen any of them in days Jimmy: You've been online, nowt else they need Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll throw a drink over Mia she'll melt, game over Jimmy: if she ever orders owt Janis: some sweet as Janis: that hot sweet vom will coat her mouth on the way out, enjoy that for hours Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: you'll make me vom Janis: such a baby Jimmy: Piss off Janis: you ain't cleaned up worse in the CG bathroom, no Jimmy: don't mean I loved every minute of it Jimmy: or that I wanna relive it right now with you Janis: k, just tryna kill the mood, baby Janis: calm you down Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: lighten up, me they're chatting shit about Jimmy: and it weren't me who invited her here Jimmy: stop being a knobhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: shut up Janis: what's actually wrong with you Jimmy: I don't wanna talk to you if you're gonna take the piss Jimmy: nowt wrong with that Janis: when did I Jimmy: This job is crap and I don't wanna do it but I ain't got rich parents Jimmy: so yeah, I have to clean up after dickheads all day Jimmy: and they get to say whatever they want to me while I'm doing it Janis: it's you who's assumed my parents are minted, you ain't once asked me about 'em and I ain't told you Janis: how far do you reckon 2 paychecks goes for 12 people, but nah, whatever, they got more than some Janis: but not so much that I'll never have to work a day in my life so don't come for me like I think I'm too good to clean a toilet or some shit Jimmy: Don't get at me when it's them you wanna Jimmy: we're supposed to be in this together Janis: I weren't getting at you Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Alright Janis: it clearly ain't but I weren't so I'm not apologizing for some shit you only think I said Jimmy: and I'm not starting something with you 'cause they're annoying Jimmy: So alright Janis: Fine Janis: that we can agree on so we'll just leave it yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: the 🐕 with you? Janis: yeah Janis: taking her back Jimmy: do me a favour and leave her there Janis: weren't planning on bringing her if I do come through Jimmy: I mean at the park to get actually dognapped Janis: well don't take it on on the dog either Jimmy: I didn't like her long before 💀👑 were on my radar Janis: ain't her fault Jimmy: is Janis: she's only a puppy Jimmy: cute enough to get snatched then Janis: i'm not getting rid of your dog for you Janis: do it properly if you're going to Jimmy: just trying to get rid of that IOU for you Janis: sure Jimmy: You're really scared to owe me one, you Janis: scared and not wanting to are not the same thing Jimmy: that'll be why I said what I said Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off, what's there to be scared of Jimmy: You tell me Jimmy: What do you reckon I'm gonna do? Janis: shut up Jimmy: Easy, I'm faking I lost my voice either 'cause I'm 🤢 dying or 💀💀💀 from how well you nursed me Jimmy: theirs to keep guessing about Janis: ours to prove easy enough Janis: if we wanna Jimmy: Do you? Janis: I mean Janis: obviously I don't care but also Janis: why should they just get to go around being cunts all the time Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I also get that you badly miss Mr Lucas, babe but I ain't drank enough coffee for you to pretend I'm him 💔 Janis: 🤢 okay but don't Jimmy: I could take a few more shots before you get here but I might Jimmy: don't actually like it Janis: it's rank Janis: fuck the rest, being around the smell all day would be shit enough Jimmy: hang on, I'm gonna wipe off the chalk board outside and write that Janis: 😂 Jimmy: so inspiring baby 💕 Janis: if we could thin the crowd at all be ideal Janis: don't need the 👪👫s seeing this Jimmy: some of them did leg it pretty quick when Mia walked in Jimmy: not gonna want your kids or your fella seeing that Janis: honestly, meant to learn about death through a hamster, not your local 💀👑 Jimmy: well early in the day to try and teach them to spell anorexia Janis: thank god for spellcheck, eh babe? Jimmy: didn't have it when I communicated with her via napkin note but I think I managed Jimmy: will do if I don't think about what she'll do with it after Janis: basically sold your soul to the devil Janis: couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to get there Jimmy: already 👻 nowt she can do to me Jimmy: only come to life for you Janis: can't decide if 💕 or 🤤 that Jimmy: why not both? Janis: 😍 #whenhesthefullpackage Jimmy: give me everything you've got then Janis: you've changed your tune Jimmy: I've not Jimmy: been saying 🥇 or nowt since the start Janis: last night Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Janis: both had a few by then, not to mention knackered Jimmy: Go on Janis: well you said don't give you anything Jimmy: it ain't for me, it's for them Janis: yeah, I know Jimmy: So no need to hold back Janis: wouldn't be much point coming otherwise Jimmy: I've gotta be fake mute, you've gotta be fake loud Janis: really Jimmy: We can't both be 🔇 Janis: Jesus Janis: why are you being mute again anyway Jimmy: I lost my voice 'cause you're the best at bringing someone back from the brink of 💀💀💀 Janis: 'course I am Janis: well don't put me off, I have a plan Jimmy: I just had to let you know loudly and repeatedly even if it cost me this #goals accent Janis: sounds about right 😏 Jimmy: Obviously, I thought of it Janis: I mean, it's believeable for you but alright Jimmy: A boy can dream 💕 Janis: dream no longer Janis: [post up hoe] Jimmy: [get ready lads and I don't just mean you gals] Janis: [least she'd always have her gym shit on her so can still have that moment] Jimmy: [yeah that's forever legit, and thank god he looks good in his uniform too or that'd be awkward like she's bringing it and he's blah] Janis: [when you're gonna have to just go for this lads] Jimmy: [he's gonna get a bollocking from his manager regardless we all know it, him most of all so nothing to lose] Janis: [when you come at him like 'I just missed you so much' loud/close enough that it's heard but you're already wrapping yourself around him] Jimmy: [when you have to be fake mute so it's all 😍 but it does mean you can just pull her even closer to you how he likes to do and go IN on kissing any part of her that'll get the best reaction, from her and the audience] Janis: [letting that happen for way longer than you need to before redirecting his mouth to yours so you can be loud without it being really indecent] Jimmy: [I feel like as much as they think they can read each other from all the make out seshs they've had he should've done something in that bit then that surprised him with how much she liked it even if they are pretending it's fake and he told her to be extra] Janis: [agreed like as much as it's all real it would be like the shock when they first kissed and she weren't bored so 100%] Jimmy: [just gonna put her on the counter for that mood and moment soz customers but like we're putting on a show here, not getting in trouble without making it worth it] Janis: [when you say his name and it's half 'cos you wanna half like are you sure] Jimmy: [when as much as you're pretending you've forgotten where you are you also have because so much pent up everything] Janis: ['come home with me' do you mean it or no we'll never know] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Mia's head exploding so get her down but onto the staff side with you so you can keep this going as you make your way towards the back like you're gonna continue this there/leave that way] Janis: [heheheheh] Jimmy: [obvs gonna keep kissing out there for a sec 'for realism' and in case anyone follows you like um what the fuck Jimmy are you leaving or wut not cos you wanna and you couldn't be closer and you haven't stopped since you started even when you were also moving, oh no never for that reason] Janis: [literal like in no world did they need this entire display also how you gonna stop, least his manager can come through to make that happen] Jimmy: [just like ahem #awkward because you know they wouldn't have stopped when he first appeared cos too into it so it's like EXCUSE YOU] Janis: [how shaming if either of you could care] Jimmy: [HOORAY for not feeling shame because yeah Jimothy you're gonna have to sit with him now and get told off looking that poor manager in the eye] Janis: [honestly you'd wanna die if you weren't so highkey distracted] Jimmy: [wait until Ian hears about this, he'll want you to die too] Janis: [nooooooooo] Jimmy: [no wonder he don't like Janis, no offense babe we know his actual reasons ain't that but] Janis: [she does get him fired we all know] Jimmy: [thank god he gets another job cos can you imagine if he couldn't they were all like no thanks you saucy bastard] Janis: [whoops, have to leave forreal] Jimmy: [how the hell are we gonna kick off a 'normal' convo between them after that MY GOD] Janis: how much trouble you in Jimmy: Not enough that I care Janis: good, not looking to + my IOUs that hard Janis: worked though, yeah Jimmy: How many stories has Mia posted? Janis: [screenshot of the longest line of stories ever but she's only on the first one 'cos not watching] Janis: more detailed than 24 hour news Jimmy: I get that I ain't the focus on her obsession, but get my angles, fuck's sake Janis: 💔 Janis: be more blatant, girl Jimmy: This plays like the Love Actually wedding video Janis: 😂 Janis: Keira should've told her husband to sort his friend, honestly Jimmy: I'm waiting for my full crop and her floating bobble head where mine were Janis: literally gonna haunt my nightmares, thanks Jimmy: Soz, I ain't seen her commit that edit yet if that helps Jimmy: we all know you can afford the software girl, sort it out Janis: no time if she wants to break the story Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it wouldn't take long if she knew what she was doing Jimmy: could've asked me Janis: we all know now she's not arsed about you Janis: sorry, dear Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: brb jumping off the roof Janis: could you wait a bit Janis: so it doesn't look like an immediate reaction to me Jimmy: gimme something better to do then Janis: well, I was sure you'd be sent home Janis: dunno how you managed that, jammy git Jimmy: #effortless Janis: must be Jimmy: 😎 Janis: sure you've got loads of invites in your DMs then, boy Jimmy: Yeah but Janis: but what Jimmy: I don't fancy it, do I Janis: still up to me and me alone then, is it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: see what I can do Jimmy: a full day's work won't 💀💀💀 you, rich girl Jimmy: promise Janis: my sister might beat you to it anyway Jimmy: she can try 🏆💪 we've got a pact and I called it ages ago Janis: can argue that one with her, if you like Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have lost my voice going for it with Ian, not fazed by hers Janis: it's pretty grating tbh but you know Janis: nothing worse than the way she types Jimmy: Oi, there's nowt as annoying or loud as me Janis: don't need to lie to make you feel good about yourself Jimmy: Good Jimmy: a lie wouldn't Janis: and you're a cocky little shit without my help so Jimmy: with your help an' all though Janis: works for me Jimmy: I know Janis: what does that even mean 😏 Jimmy: What do you reckon it means? Jimmy: It means I know Janis: that definitely means you're chatting shit then Jimmy: If saying that I am works for you, babe Janis: 😑 taking the piss now Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: do what you've gotta do Janis: so fucking cryptic Jimmy: 🧩 me Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: OMG, smoking is NOT a personality trait Jimmy: I'm keeping you updated Jimmy: like a good boyfriend Jimmy: my whereabouts, what I'm up to etc Janis: subtle hint Janis: Mia teach you before she went? Jimmy: I weren't in the room as she 👀 it, remember Janis: on another 🪐 Jimmy: where you and her 😍💕💋💋 Janis: not funny, you Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: You gonna give me your update like a good girlfriend then or what? Janis: actually going gym Janis: as I've got the gear on, makes sense Jimmy: 💪🏆 gotta keep it goals babe Jimmy: one day I'll have to show you how it's really done, like Janis: 😂 Janis: ok, that was funny Janis: you've redeemed yourself, welldone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you're scared I'll make you look a right tit Janis: mhmm Janis: scared I'll be overcome by how manly you are and all Jimmy: no need to be at the gym for that, mate Janis: just how you live your life Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you dope Jimmy: taking that as a compliment 😎 Jimmy: as only a 45 year old bloke can Janis: oh yeah, how's your 💘 after that Jimmy: I ain't about to have a heart attack, you're alright Jimmy: one lung but there ain't nowt wrong with the rest of my organs Janis: good to know Janis: though my case to sue you is definitely more viable anyway Jimmy: 💰💰 talks and you've got more of it to chat bollocks about me with Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: You loved it, I've got enough witnesses Janis: very unreliable Janis: they all hate me Jimmy: I will an' all if you drag me to court Jimmy: ain't got a suit or owt and I ain't buying one for you unless we 💍 Janis: fake marriage is too far, we agreed Janis: though would LOVE to ask them all to be my bridesmaids so I could dress them in the ugliest shit and watch the meltdowns ensue Jimmy: Go on, all marriages are fake any road Janis: just string out the engagment and planning then blow that shit up on the day Janis: s'a proper finale Jimmy: knew you'd get it 💕 Janis: suck on that pregnant amie Janis: steal your ✨ Jimmy: if she'd left it at that she might not be 🤰 Janis: don't make me laugh Jimmy: why? not enough cardio for you or? Janis: 'cos I'll look mental and not the new image I'm going for, tah Jimmy: Fine, I'll make you 😳 Janis: you can try Jimmy: [sends her a pic of all those epic love bites she did cos they'd look WILD the next day like] Janis: they look pretty Janis: very artsy Jimmy: proper Georgia O’Keeffe you Janis: 😒 I know she was the vag obsessed one, twat Jimmy: 'Course you do Janis: shut up Janis: not a moron Janis: or a lesbian Jimmy: Don't need to tell me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: Baby Janis: such a windup, you Janis: gotta have finished your 🚬 by now Jimmy: ain't that 👴 Jimmy: giving it my best go with my oxygen on Janis: cute Jimmy: So you want 75 not 45? Alright Janis: your type, not mine Janis: a fucked 45 is fine Jimmy: OUR type, babe, and I'm gonna find him Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💕 Janis: stop being a goals fella and go do your job whilst you still got it Jimmy: that is my job Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: making me miss you and that Janis: if you don't you'll make me look bad Jimmy: couldn't obvs Janis: yeah her 😍 know no bounds, fair Jimmy: Oi, mine an' all Janis: awh, you jealous Jimmy: Of her? Jimmy: Yeah she's well close to 💀💀💀 and all I can do is wait Jimmy: 🚬💔🎻☕ Jimmy: #friendzonedbythegrimreaper Janis: always the bridesmaid, her Janis: you know you're 🥈 to my 🥇, baby Jimmy: you on the 🥊? Jimmy: that backhander really hit 😵😵😵 Janis: [selfie like pow pow] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [flirty posts and shit to keep it 'safe' haha] Janis: [as if anyone is doubting you rn, they seen enough lmao] Janis: you go this hard with your actual missus, like Jimmy: You've got her attention, be easy enough to go on and ask Janis: seriously Jimmy: What you reckon all that carry on at the CG dont matter to anyone but 👑💀? Janis: well idk do I Janis: why would I Jimmy: Talk of this town and the north Janis: at least any beatdowns will only be 📱 Janis: unless she likes you that much still she'll get on a plane or ferry, like Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: what outcome are you crossing your fingers for there Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: jussayin Janis: not fake fighting for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not agreed to that level of soap drama Jimmy: where you draw the line that? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I mean Janis: not pregnant rn is she? Janis: fair game Jimmy: I should've opened with asking Jimmy: bit late now Janis: yeah, gonna look weird now Janis: subtlety is not your strong suit Jimmy: It's alright, it ain't hers either Janis: 👍 Jimmy: But I reckon if her hubby had it in him to put it in her since the last 🤰 she wouldn't be in my DMs Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: never know Janis: pregnancy makes you mental Jimmy: Yeah Janis: later then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [later] Janis: did kayleigh f invite you to her party too Jimmy: I dunno, did she? Janis: not your secretary Janis: check your dms Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: I ain't seeing her, have to crash 👮🚔 Janis: why am I so popular, damn Jimmy: gay icon Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: you actually want to go or Jimmy: Do you? Janis: idk Janis: ain't got nothing else on Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: hmm Janis: not sure what her identifier is, but she's alright, does sports science and shit too Jimmy: The party'll be alright an' all then Janis: doubt the squad'll be there so improvement on the last Jimmy: works for me Janis: if you're allowed, like Janis: ⛔ Jimmy: She gonna stop me at the door? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: nah Janis: guestlist can't be that exclusive if an invite found me Janis: not like we're bffs is it Jimmy: I'll go over the fence to be safe, leave a window open for me or whatever Janis: such a show-off Jimmy: You love a show, Juliet Janis: hm Janis: keep your feet on the ground, yeah Jimmy: Bit late for that 👻 Janis: 👏 alright, got me there Jimmy: right where I want you, babe 🎯💘 Janis: yeah, and where's that? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: gotta get those hourly updates Janis: could be ANYWHERE Jimmy: could be lost Jimmy: Where's this lass live? Janis: good question Janis: oh, like 10 minute walk from yours Janis: [the deets] Janis: easy Jimmy: might get there before my 👮🚔 co-workers then Janis: well i'll be ages Janis: and not 'cos i wanna be fashionably late Janis: so see you there Jimmy: I get it, looking proper #goals takes you longer than it does me 😎 Janis: 🙄 Janis: more like my gaff is in the middle of fucking nowhere and I ain't there rn but I can't go like this Jimmy: Where are you? Gotta be near 🛍 Jimmy: do your thing, rich girl Janis: who am I Jimmy: No idea, who are you? Janis: not a bitch who's gonna get new clothes for a party Jimmy: Alright, you can wear mine, stop begging Janis: however could I pull off such a 😎 look Janis: I daren't Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: never up for a challenge or owt Janis: what's challenging about your style Janis: been same since 1956 Jimmy: You pulling it off, so you said Jimmy: 🤷 if you can't, you can't Jimmy: see you when I see you Janis: and you lost your ability to detect sarcasm, alright Jimmy: might never have had it, how would you know? Janis: giving you benefit of the doubt that you ain't a total idiot but alright Janis: maybe not Jimmy: giving me what's dangerously close to a real compliment an' all there Jimmy: thank fuck you took it back before things got weird Janis: don't sound like me Jimmy: might not be Jimmy: can't 👀 or 👂 you Janis: yeah it's your biggest fan surprise Jimmy: that dickhead Jill is my biggest fan Jimmy: why I'm fake dating her Janis: get lost Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: Probably will in a bit Jimmy: dry your eyes til then Janis: have you got a problem, like Janis: your sense of direction is for shit Jimmy: It's how they keep northerners in the north, mate Jimmy: ain't even allowed to leave in a ⚰ Jimmy: but 🤞 they bury you right way up Janis: you mean you don't want god to kiss your ass? Janis: seems like something you'd be about Jimmy: He ain't really my type Jimmy: 👴 maybe but a bit of a knobhead Jimmy: and there's the not being real Jimmy: got a fake girlfriend already tah Janis: one to talk 👻 boy Janis: that's just a third of his personality and it's your whole schtick Janis: jealous, clearly Jimmy: You reckon I'm jealous of everyone I ain't Jimmy: getting a bit awkward now Janis: is it Janis: sensitive and all Janis: n'awh Jimmy: I get it, you're that in the dark Jimmy: hang on, I'll put my 📸 on Jimmy: sort you out Janis: about what Jimmy: It's no bother, dark corners can be very #goals Jimmy: just don't 🙀🙀🙀 Jimmy: know what you're like, Jasmine Janis: cats ain't afraid of the dark, boy Jimmy: You don't play by the rules, girl Jimmy: or do you now? Janis: how much do you think has changed in one afternoon? Jimmy: Been a bit since I last had an #update from you Jimmy: could be owt or nowt Janis: ain't the only one capable of mystery, like Jimmy: Good Jimmy: this party'll be shit if I am Janis: what do you reckon you can get away with when you're my plus 1 Jimmy: my name ain't down but I'm still coming in Jimmy: do owt else I want once I manage that Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you know what I'm saying Jimmy: Make up your mind, am I stupid or what? Janis: you're being it if you reckon you can get with someone when I'm at the same party Jimmy: I never said that's what I reckoned Jimmy: I get that you're new to it, but there's more than one way to be mysterious Janis: everything is always about sex, end of Jimmy: For you paddys maybe Janis: pretty sure it's universal but alright Janis: whatever Jimmy: Are you? Janis: am I..? Jimmy: Are you so sure I wanna fuck some girl at this party even though I've been doing all this bollocks to stay single Jimmy: well done Jimmy: You've cracked it, like Janis: 1. single doesn't mean abstinent Janis: 2. why do you say stupid shit that sounds a certain way then get pissed when I take you at said dumb fucking thing you said Janis: 3. i don't care who you do or don't fuck but if that's what you wanna do, probably don't have me there for it Jimmy: I'd ask why you take everything the wrong way but that's obviously what you wanna do Janis: just say you're talking bollocks if that's what you're doing Janis: but also take it somewhere else 'cos I don't need it Jimmy: It ain't but go on and piss off yourself if you like Janis: First good idea you've had Jimmy: Take it then Janis: do what I like, thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: and I got invited so how about you don't come Jimmy: You said it yourself, no way you're getting there 1st Janis: fuck you Janis: you don't even know her Jimmy: I don't know anyone Jimmy: race you 😘 Janis: poor you Jimmy: Lucky me Jimmy: Poor you Janis: don't need your sympathy fake or otherwise Jimmy: Fake or not, you ain't having it Janis: 💔 Janis: oh no Jimmy: Ill play the 🎻s when I'm on the clock if it's alright with you Janis: I don't care what you do as long as it's not at this party Jimmy: 💔💔😭 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: You finished? Janis: with this convo Janis: why not Janis: with you in general Janis: sadly no Jimmy: Tah for the detailed update Janis: what you asked for Jimmy: 💕 Janis: hope you find your way back home at some point Jimmy: can't stay pissed off at me you Janis: if you leave, sure Janis: your standards are that low Jimmy: Don't worry, staying aint part of my plan Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we should skip to this party which he obviously gets to first, damn you Cali and your postcode] Janis: [this is such a bad idea like always] Jimmy: [living for it] Janis: [just showing up and avoiding your boyf like hmm okay lmao] Jimmy: [at least he's avoiding everyone anyway cos antisocial bastard so makes it less obvious that he's even there] Janis: [at some point y'all are both gonna end up at the drinks so] Jimmy: [we know that is where he's forever at getting drunk (great idea boy) unless he's outside 🚬 so easy done] Janis: [i die just like sup] Jimmy: [so will he when he sees her serving a look] Janis: [at least you can 'pretend' you've had a domestic, be that couple for the night but still, probably acknowledge each other's existence 'found your way then'] Jimmy: [believable that you could have cos nobody else needs to know he don't give a fuck about his manager or getting in trouble and everyone would be talking about earlier still. He shrugs because always. 'without your help or owt, almost like I dont need you'] Janis: ['well let me know when it stops being almost and I can get on with my shit, yeah? taking a can/bottle/whatever and walking away like good talk] Jimmy: [5ever watching her walk away] Janis: [why are you two here, being such delights lollollol] Jimmy: [Im gonna say he is playing drinking games because peeps have been trying to get him too since he got there cos of that new boy shine honey and theyve worn him down cos hard to resist a challenge or a drink] Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: even when you lose, it's a win Jimmy: 🥇 or 🤢 Janis: not if you can handle your drink Jimmy: they can't, soz to piss on your expectations Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🍀💔 Janis: tunes can't get much more morbid Jimmy: change them then Janis: won't change the crowd but yeah maybe Jimmy: You've handled worse Janis: don't be so hard on yourself Jimmy: Why would I, got you for that Janis: come on Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: never off the clock on that one, you Janis: ain't personal Janis: don't get to feeling special for it, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: anyway, you give it back so don't act like you're 😢 Jimmy: I ain't acting tonight, tah though Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: try not to need a 🚬 for the next 5 k Janis: [goes out, obvs] Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good, don't need your death on my conscience Jimmy: I know 😇 you Jimmy: be alright Janis: not likely Jimmy: What do you want me to say to that? Janis: say what you want, you ain't acting Jimmy: fucked if I wanna say nowt Jimmy: already done mute to 💀💀💀 today Jimmy: and I gotta stay alive for a bit Janis: so that's my fault, yeah Jimmy: Nah Janis: it's not my fault people won't get off your dick because you're the new boy Jimmy: never said it were Janis: you treat me like it is Jimmy: and you treat me like what? Janis: how am I meant to treat you Jimmy: how am I meant to treat you Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: you're this weird kid who just asked me to do this crazy scheme with him and I'm the idiot who said yes, I guess Janis: but I don't think you knew what you were asking any more than I knew what I was going along with Jimmy: Stop it then Janis: why should it be me Janis: and why is that all you have to say Jimmy: Why shouldn't it be you, that were the plan Jimmy: and why would I say owt else when that's where this is going Janis: a plan you changed Janis: and acting like you have no stakes in whether it ends now or not makes it make even less sense Jimmy: Change it back Jimmy: not acting, remember Janis: then tell the fucking truth Jimmy: I fucking did Janis: what's the point Janis: alright Jimmy: There ain't any, that's what we're both saying Janis: least not one we're happy to admit to Jimmy: You're so Janis: we're gonna go for this again Janis: didn't work last time but go on Jimmy: Piss off Janis: why can't you say it Jimmy: this is fucking stupid Janis: yeah no shit Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: why did you come Jimmy: Why did you? Janis: to see if you would Janis: probably get drunk Jimmy: There you go then Janis: no you can't steal my answer Janis: then you'll just say you never actually said it and it's just bullshit to hide behind Jimmy: I'm here, that's my answer Jimmy: it weren't cause I desperately wanted shots to do to a shit soundtrack Janis: okay Janis: then go Jimmy: is it? Janis: if that's the only reason you're here Jimmy: I came here for you, you twat Jimmy: but alright, I'll go for you then Janis: don't just Janis: why is it like pulling teeth Jimmy: fuck you Janis: why Jimmy: I didn't sign on for this Jimmy: I can't just Janis: you think I did Jimmy: no Janis: you are literally the only other person who can get it and also the one fucking person who won't talk about it Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Jimmy: that this is Jimmy: or that I Janis: that it's not just Janis: fuck Jimmy: You know it's not Jimmy: every dickhead knows it's not Janis: I can't be Janis: I don't wanna be what we've pretended Janis: I ain't but Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: you know Jimmy: I wanna know Jimmy: come here Janis: where are you Jimmy: on the stairs Janis: [comes in Jimmy: [the eye contact bitch] Janis: [when that's all you're doing 'cos you suddenly can't move like] Jimmy: [deer in the headlights moment but dont worry babe hes gonna move and pull you SO close to him that you will die] Janis: [least that would kickstart you into being very clear with what you want] Jimmy: [likewise cos once you do start it's just like a not at all casual free for all of everything you both want] Janis: [heaven help anyone tryna use them stairs like excuse me] Jimmy: [you better find another way peeps because they cannot be tamed rn] Janis: [breaking away to be like 'we can just try it, right?'] Jimmy: [just nodding because if he speaks hes gonna say too much and none of us are ready] Janis: ['no phones, no fans'] Jimmy: [throws his phone to one side dramatically because that bitch] Janis: [when you lol but are also genuinely like 😍 so we back at it] Jimmy: [Its a good thing the squad arent here cos they would know he aint mute LOL so much so you have to stop for a sec and once you do 'when I said I wanted to leave some shit to mystery, this is what I meant. All I meant. For a night, none of the usual bollocks. Just me and you'] Janis: [nods 'I believe you. All the rest just had me in a bad mood. I mean I always am but when-' shakes head 'doesn't matter now'] Jimmy: [moves her hair out of her face after she's shaken her head because #shameless need to always touch it okay and just looking at her like you can tell me cos she can 'go on'] Janis: [bites lip but in an actual nervous way not a saucy one though you know same effect 'I was just fed up with all the things getting in the way of...this, as was, so then when you mentioned your ex- like I don't care if you get back with her but it's why I was so' shrugs like you know] Jimmy: ['I want you to care about me getting back with her more than I'd ever wanna really get back with her' when you just blurt that out nbd quietly but still boy are you drunk enough to be chatting like that, excuse you] Janis: [when you're just looking at him like did I hear that right or am I also that gone and going so red, mumbling 'you know I do'] Jimmy: [nodding in the direction of up the stairs 'let's go up, there's too many dickheads can see us' because its awks and also no fans is meant to be the point] Janis: [yeah probably do find some privacy] Jimmy: [probably the room of this poor girl that didnt even invite him] Janis: like excuse me madam you did not ask for this at least they didn't have a blazing row and ruin your whole ass party] Jimmy: [him shutting the door but then just standing against the back of it like UM cos his turn to freeze, boy this is why you dont speak, going too hard when you do] Janis: [least she's not like we MUST talk now 'cos also the pressing matter of actually being able to make out and not film it or cater to a crowd] Jimmy: [omg just being able to do what you legit wanna] Janis: [a mood, let's hope this girl's room ain't too distracting, have to be going some like] Jimmy: [I vote for a double bed because they deserve that] Janis: [the luxury, get on that boys] Jimmy: [actually having some space in all the ways, imagine] Janis: [not that he's about it or her tbh we know] Jimmy: [but at least you wont fall out if you move guys] Janis: [are we gonna cockblock this before it can go all the way] Jimmy: [probably should cos the way we did their first time before was pretty swag from what I remember, not saying this wouldnt still be but] Janis: [agree though, and easily done like get out me room] Jimmy: [yeah and you can still get pretty far before then we dont need to be that mean] Janis: [things can happen honey] Jimmy: [theyd have to because you cant tell me they wouldnt take the opportunity to touch each other in all the ways you cant upload anywhere or let happen with an audience, shameless as you are, and therefore have had no excuse to do]] Janis: [truly 'cos how bad you would've rather been doing this and she'd be telling him as much] Jimmy: [he would blatantly tell her that too but dying too much so you will have to decode it from the eye contact and other sounds he is giving you instead babe] Janis: [when that's such a mood and I highly doubt how Harry was lol] Jimmy: [ugh god no, he's such a twat] Janis: [defs not thinking about that rn like whomst] Jimmy: [they are gonna be FUMING when they get kicked out of this room cos never enough when youve been waiting and holding back for any length of time] Janis: [literally like opened the floodgates honey this hasn't solved anything but we getting there bless] Jimmy: [you thought you two were frustrated af before hahaha] Janis: [gotta give a reason why they can't just go home together tho, actually] Jimmy: [ooh maybe they do but Ians heard about the CG antics so he kicks off when he hears them come back, lowkey waiting for that fight like] Janis: [that's a good idea also brb wanna die] Jimmy: [at least she can go to Mcvickers when he has to kick her out cos not far Janis: [not that Ian cares, dangerous frankly sir] Jimmy: [honestly she could get murdered you slag] Janis: [giving some time for them to argue but not that much 'cos highkey] Janis: you alright Jimmy: You? Janis: yeah 'course Janis: sorry I got you in shit Jimmy: You've done nowt wrong Janis: probably debatable that Jimmy: alright gimme chance to stop with this bellend and I'll debate it with you Janis: let you focus on that one 🥇 Jimmy: harder work than a latte him Janis: savage Janis: hope you hit him with that burn Janis: oh, forgot about yours Jimmy: I can do better than that me 🥇 Jimmy: oh shit, me an' all Jimmy: ✋ didn't fall off though, must be alright Janis: 🤞 or I've really fucked it with Ian Janis: no one wants a one-handed babysitter, even if he's live-in Jimmy: wouldn't be very goals for a boyfriend either Jimmy: I'd make it work but like a fake hand is going a bit far Janis: pretty macho Janis: pretend you lost it in a 🦈 attack Jimmy: can only be a duel, Juliet, come on Janis: damn, you right Janis: don't have a cousin who's in love with me though Janis: hope I don't, anyway, awkward to find out like this Jimmy: be fun round the Easter table Jimmy: 💔 I don't have any cousins Janis: Poor boy Janis: idk if he was related to that first bitch anyway so there's still hope Jimmy: I'd only be stuck looking after them too, ain't that 💔 or 💰 broke Janis: fair Janis: more trouble than they're worth in all areas Jimmy: got enough on with this dickhead dad Janis: yeah Janis: liked it better when he weren't there, tbh Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 🙏 for us when you're done making sure my hand stays on Janis: add it to the list Janis: hard work but a 😇 gotta do it Jimmy: good 'cause I wanna touch you again Janis: yeah? Jimmy: and 🤖 💕 not what I were necessarily thinking Janis: 😏 Janis: leave the vibrator at home okay Jimmy: hang on, can't turn down extra limbs if I've already lost one Janis: make up your 🧠 Jimmy: Oi, I'm thinking of you here Janis: so the considerate thing weren't an act, interesting Jimmy: shut up Janis: so cute 💕 Jimmy: I just Janis: it's alright, only pissing about Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: promise it is Janis: not an opportunist mugger Jimmy: 👴💕 Jimmy: want me so bad they're willing to do owt now Janis: bit rude to use me as collateral Jimmy: they might not have that long to live, be fair Janis: so that means I've gotta wait Janis: 😒 Jimmy: we've got a pact you ain't dying without me Jimmy: and not til you couldn't 💕 me more Janis: alright Janis: what's one more day Jimmy: only gonna feel like a slow 💀💀💀 Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: mean Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't Janis: I miss you but I actually mean it Jimmy: I Jimmy: where are you? I'll get myself there then Janis: don't get into more trouble or never actually see you again Janis: real starcrossed shit Jimmy: 👻💕 Jimmy: You reckon I've got into enough for you? I don't Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can handle so much more, girl Janis: you can't come here Janis: let me think of something Jimmy: Alright Janis: okay, if I can get us a car, don't ask where it's from, yeah Jimmy: not actually a 👮🚔 babe Janis: good, 'cos my rep really can't handle that Jimmy: the rep I gave you can handle anything I also wanna give you Jimmy: including my dad's 🚗🔑 Janis: yeah? Janis: 'cos I got one for tonight, less likely to miss it than mr 😡 rn Jimmy: Less of a fuck you an' all but you're right Janis: don't need any more interruptions Janis: actual 🚨s included Jimmy: actual crashes too 'cause I'm a shit driver anyway Jimmy: not how I wanna kill you Janis: not how I'm planning on going out either Janis: I'm alright, and we need to be in the middle of nowhere so Janis: come to this address Janis: [mcvickers house soz i'm stealing your car lads] Jimmy: [should we let him go or not though?] Janis: [that's the real questions and I'm fine with it going either way at this point tbh, Ian would probably be being highkey but that could mean forcing him to stay in or kicking him out so you decide] Jimmy: [yeah exactly either is plausible as is her getting caught by Mcvickers so 🤔🤔🤔] Janis: [oh, might be good to burn that bridge for a bit so then she simply has to stay at his 'cos can never be home] Jimmy: [omg true lets do that then] Janis: [triggering everyone with your illegal driving like your sister ain't die] Jimmy: [its the only way Tess would be angry enough to be like get out tbh so real] Janis: [a new boy for you to hate in your old age god bless] Jimmy: [why not its been a while lol] Jimmy: ? Janis: fucking Janis: i'm Janis: you should go Jimmy: tell me you're alright or I'm going nowhere Janis: i am Janis: i mean i'm beyond fucked off but par for the course Jimmy: 👌 Janis: this is so stupid Jimmy: par for the course that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you have no idea 🙄 Janis: the ample opportunity we've had up until we actually need it takes the piss Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: same but Janis: don't mention it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: exactly Janis: sincerity is scary, boy Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: be fucked if you weren't fit, Janet Janis: shut up Jimmy: you wanted insincere, mate Janis: no middleground, no Jimmy: very 🥉 thinking that Janis: go away Janis: don't have time for 2 arguments Jimmy: me either Janis: 🤐 or 😴 Jimmy: Alright Janis: any chance of your dad forgetting what I look like any time soon Jimmy: We were barely in the door Janis: not like he knows my name if you don't so 🤞 Jimmy: Gonna have to change it for him anyway, remember Jimmy: no ie ending no 💍 Janis: just a place to crash again is fine Jimmy: Julie's basically it any road Jimmy: won't miss the odd letter, will you Janis: my actual has 2 letters in common but yeah Janis: whatever works Jimmy: 🌹 whatever you're called, like #obvs Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not necessary tonight so give him time to get over it Janis: just you keep 😍 #obvs Jimmy: soon as I can get back in, I'll let you Janis: where are you gonna go Jimmy: It'll be morning in a bit and then I'll go work Janis: I am sorry Janis: make it up to you Janis: but there's no chance she's turning this car around to pick you up Jimmy: he don't need an excuse to be a prick Jimmy: and Ill survive a shift without my name badge Janis: still, he got one Janis: I left a blanket and shit at the park near yours last time, strapped under the ramp but it's usually gone if I leave it too long so Janis: but Jamie's the best 💔 Jimmy: that's like saying I deserve this, fuck that Jimmy: Jamie might Janis: nah Janis: you know what I meant Janis: and Jamie was into it okay, I'll have a word Jimmy: don't go near him, I don't trust that dickhead 😏 Janis: I'll try but Janis: hard to stay away Jimmy: I'll have a word then Jimmy: he's too 😍😍😍 for you if you ask me Janis: what's it to ya Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just looking out for you, mate Janis: cheers 😏 Jimmy: You coming to the CG before your wanted posters go up then? Janis: once I've been delivered home for my 2nd bollocking Janis: not planning on sticking around Jimmy: I'm opening up for the rest of the hols as my manager's idea of mine Jimmy: tell them to get it over with and you can stick around here Janis: alright Janis: see you after my great escape then 🤞 Janis: you opening alone or you got your bff with Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the lass with the extensions? Yeah Tony ain't thought that through Janis: as if I've had 👀 for anyone but Pete, you fool Jimmy: What kind of rumoured lesbian are you? Jimmy: sort yourself out Janis: don't sound like my type Janis: fake? no thanks Jimmy: I mean, she ain't 💀👑 so I get you don't want the competition over tits Janis: fuck off Jimmy: her hair'll still fall out if you pull it, you can make that similarity with Mia work Janis: 😑 Janis: so unfunny Janis: good thing you're fit Jimmy: and I've got 😎 + 🚬 for my personality traits Janis: don't do it for me but sure Jimmy: that sounds dead fake but alright Janis: how does that sound like anything I've ever faked Janis: check your socials, there's way more 😍💕😘 Jimmy: I'd love to obvs but it ain't tomorrow yet Jimmy: and tonight we said none of that bollocks Janis: right Janis: how are we gonna do the fake shit though Janis: going forward Janis: still business as usual or 💀 Jimmy: Is that your way of saying you wanna fake break up to secretly date me or what? Janis: no Janis: idk Janis: is it gonna be weird Janis: weirder Jimmy: always were weird Janis: well yeah Janis: note that -er Jimmy: I don't see how it'll be owt different to faking shit when I didn't like you Janis: alright Janis: why not Janis: not not working Jimmy: we can just see how it goes Jimmy: play it by 👂 if you can leave me one 🧛 girl Janis: no promises 👻 boy Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you sure you want me coming in Jimmy: You don't wanna? Janis: I wanna see you Janis: you see my point Jimmy: I'll see if I can ban them all Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I mean Janis: gotta win your manager back 'round somehow Janis: order all the lattes you can, gals Jimmy: come and splash your own cash, rich girl Jimmy: won't need them then Janis: you want me to 💩 myself Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: proper kink for me that Janis: save it for the 3rd date Jimmy: you asking me out? Janis: depends Janis: you asking me to shit on you Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: You gonna be 💔 if I don't? Janis: obvs Janis: lifelong ambition Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: owt to please you I said Janis: is it the next day already 💕 Jimmy: If you want Janis: sounds like some good ole fashioned fake shit, is all Janis: but fair, can't hear over the 📢 coming at me rn Jimmy: You know me and habits Janis: honestly Janis: can't let it go eh Jimmy: wouldn't wanna scare you, easy done that Janis: 🖕 Janis: not that dependent on it, funnily enough Jimmy: 👌 Janis: the fans, that's another story of 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: let 'em down gently, babe Jimmy: what kind of bad boy Janis: the fake kind Jimmy: 🤞 the cancer risk is an' all Janis: should be vaping soft lad Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I know that's what you really want from me, babe Jimmy: but you'll have to find a lad who likes you enough to look that much of a twat Janis: then you don't know what I really want from you Jimmy: You gonna change your mind in a bit? Janis: if you're asking if I'll want a 🚬 after, don't be tight Janis: can spare me one Jimmy: Don't be a dickhead, whenever you've asked you've had Janis: and they say romance is dead Janis: not met you Jimmy: Tweet it tomorrow, like Janis: thought we'd started Janis: overachiever Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'owt to please you I said' you kicking us off Jimmy: Nah, it'd be fake if I said I didn't wanna when you know I do Janis: how long is your lunch and when Jimmy: I dunno when but I know it ain't long enough Janis: is that a humblebrag or actual though Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: 😒 Jimmy: What? Janis: not at you Janis: just the rest Janis: gonna go on a long fucking run Janis: nice knowing you if I end up in a different town, start again Jimmy: Alright Janis: got to wait for everyone else to fuck off Janis: ridiculous Jimmy: Swap places with me then Janis: alright Janis: get me a nametag, like Jimmy: Which one do you want on it? Janis: surprise me Janis: I'm method Jimmy: Yeah, love a surprise you Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: what you talking about Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't 😏 at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I don't know but don't be mean Janis: won't come and see you Janis: 💔 that Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's meaner than owt I've said Janis: I know Janis: don't play around, me Jimmy: 😭😭 me Janis: baby Jimmy: How drunk am I? Janis: if anyone asks, we ain't Janis: but probably a fair bit Janis: beer pong champ Jimmy: easy to get 🥇 when you ain't playing, pisshead Janis: dangerously close to a compliment Jimmy: Take it Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: should've just stayed on the stairs Janis: that's what we shoulda done Jimmy: We'd have been interrupted quicker doing what we were if we had Janis: probably Janis: don't reckon any of the party-goers would be as committed to the cockblock though Jimmy: Bit late to test your theory now Jimmy: have to be next time Janis: promise Jimmy: Do you or do I? Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: you Janis: that there's gonna be a next time Janis: proper one, real Jimmy: Come on Janis: say it Janis: wanna hear it Janis: and have it in writing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: have that in writing Janis: what you pussying out for Jimmy: I already said I don't want you in and out on my lunch break Janis: fine Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: ain't forcing you to say nothing Janis: i don't care if you know i want you though, so have it Jimmy: Tonight you don't Janis: what Jimmy: You heard Janis: yeah and that's bollocks Janis: i'm not saying i'm in love with you or any of that fake shit, i'm saying i wanna fuck you Janis: have for ages so Jimmy: and I'm saying don't take the piss out of me 'cause I don't immediately say owt that I ain't been allowed to before now Janis: um i weren't Jimmy: Whatever Janis: i fucking weren't Janis: god forget it Jimmy: like that's easy an' all Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so Janis: whatever it is, I'm sure I know Jimmy: 'Course you do Jimmy: know everything you Janis: yep Janis: that too Jimmy: Biggest fucking head in all of Dublin Janis: tell me it's unwarranted Jimmy: You make me feel like a massive idiot, that's what I'm telling you Janis: not what i set out to do Janis: and don't think you are, for the record but what do you want Jimmy: What do you want? Jimmy: nowt I say or don't is working for you Janis: I don't know, alright Jimmy: Dangerously close to the truth so probably not alright, is it? Janis: like you do Janis: now who's taking the piss Jimmy: Like I don't know what? What I want? Jimmy: that is a pisstake yeah Janis: well how would I know Janis: don't say shit Jimmy: 1. you do know Jimmy: 2. yeah I do Janis: whatever Jimmy: I'm not good with words that don't mean I'm not saying owt to you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: alright let's just Janis: it's been a long weird night Janis: we can leave it Jimmy: So now you want me to shut up? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't say that, dickhead Janis: like I said, not trying to force you to say anything, that's not what I'm about Jimmy: I'm not thick, I know what leave it out means Janis: Jesus Janis: I'm trying to be nice for once Jimmy: Clearly not gonna work, that Janis: 👍 Janis: thanks Jimmy: Save it, better at faking that bit you Janis: fuck you then Jimmy: not unless your 2nd attempt at kicking a car is better than the 1st Janis: ha Janis: don't count on it Jimmy: I obviously can't Jimmy: but I were well aware you can't do owt right the first time so don't worry Janis: at least I get there in the end Janis: you did fuck all, as per Jimmy: Get where? Jimmy: you're nowhere same as I am Janis: not for long Jimmy: Impressive Janis: don't care what you reckon Jimmy: Make up your mind Janis: never have Jimmy: I know, you don't have any idea what you want, you said Janis: don't flatter yourself Janis: that's only about you and you don't feature in the big picture do you Jimmy: Why would I bother? Plenty of other dickheads to flatter me, including you earlier Janis: so? Janis: why do you reckon I'm gonna be embarrassed Jimmy: Why do you care what I reckon even as you're saying you don't? Janis: because it's worth a laugh Janis: it's just sex, plenty of people want you, plenty want me, who cares Jimmy: My entire reason for doing this is that I care about how wants me and doesn't Jimmy: who* Jimmy: and you'd throw me to them if you didn't Jimmy: So stop talking bollocks Janis: it ain't Janis: it's not that simple Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: You either give a shit or you don't Jimmy: and you either want me or you don't Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: and when you have just say it Janis: I said I do want you Janis: I literally said it and you rejected it outta hand Janis: just because I was trying to say how much of a headfuck it is because what's real and what's fake and what parts are both Jimmy: You also said that after you've had a go I can basically fucking vanish 'cause who cares Jimmy: loads of others Janis: I didn't say it like that Janis: or mean it like Janis: it's just weird alright Jimmy: You're weird Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: no kidding Janis: what would you rather, I was like them Jimmy: #obvs Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's the point in pretending Jimmy: Depends Janis: to get dickheads to leave you alone aside #obvs Jimmy: How shit is it gonna be to break the habit? Janis: shit Janis: nothing to say we can't stick at it 'til you're old news Jimmy: isn't there? Jimmy: I reckon owt's been said and done Janis: then it won't be hard to break the habit if that's what you think Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Fuck pretending then Janis: fuck pretending Jimmy: Don't be scared of me Jimmy: you can say or do owt you want Janis: why do you think I'm scared Janis: of you or anything Jimmy: because Janis: what, because I'm angry all the time Jimmy: because recognition Jimmy: I am, I know you are Janis: why are you scared Jimmy: Why is the why important? Janis: Deflection's easier, yeah Jimmy: 💔 then Janis: well you don't need to worry about that Jimmy: Yeah I do Janis: in general, yeah Janis: but not with me Jimmy: You think you're never gonna hurt me? Jimmy: wearing enough bruises for you already, aren't I? Janis: that weren't me, don't count Jimmy: cheat Janis: nah Janis: just saying, not my sport Janis: 💔 Janis: got no interested in breaking yours Jimmy: flattered, like Jimmy: but that's what every lass says Janis: so Janis: not every girl is me, been discussed Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: not like I know you, been discussed an all Janis: up to you if you wanna find out then Janis: but the idea you think I've got the time or energy to dedicate to that is insulting Jimmy: I get it, I ain't special, no need to go on about it Jimmy: heard you at bigger picture Janis: nothing personal Janis: no one is Jimmy: nowt is with you Jimmy: but you don't reckon I should be on my guard Jimmy: very suspect that Janis: you worried about being collateral, duck Janis: just saying, not gonna make it my life's mission to fuck you up Jimmy: and I'm saying you want me to tell you things, put myself out there when it don't mean owt to you Jimmy: how's that fair Janis: I never asked you to bare your soul to me Janis: I asked you to say you wanted to fuck me as well Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I did say that Jimmy: if that were all you wanted to hear you wouldn't call owt a headfuck Janis: I know you're vague on purpose Janis: that's why I asked you to say it, so it couldn't be taken back and said it was never said Janis: that's the headfuck Janis: all the previous shit can be wrote off as fake and neither of us can argue otherwise even if we wanna Jimmy: But if it's just sex which means fuck all to you or to me then why do you care what I say or don't after? Jimmy: that's why I don't get you Janis: same reason we started this Janis: everyone gets to talk shit on me Janis: not having it taken as gospel 'cos you put your dick inside me thanks Jimmy: I weren't about to screenshot and tweet out this convo once I did Janis: you're the only one that can be on his guard Janis: nah Jimmy: I'm the only fucker admitting that I am Jimmy: If you reckon I'm like that, like them, why would you even wanna do any of it? Janis: never said I reckoned that Jimmy: You think I'm gonna talk shit about you Janis: you could Janis: do it to my face plenty so why wouldn't you Jimmy: because I do it to your face Jimmy: go no reason to go anywhere else with it Janis: flattered, like Jimmy: just Janis: there's no way to guarantee any of this shit so we may as well agree to trust Janis: or not trust Janis: either or Jimmy: been worked out that we don't Janis: then it's settled Jimmy: is it? Janis: like I said, what we gonna do Janis: make a blood oath Jimmy: left my dagger up north, soz Jules Janis: then it definitely is Janis: letdown Jimmy: I'll delete my profiles then Jimmy: avoid you til school starts Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: Oh alright, what kind of fake break up do you want? Janis: have you been listening Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Have you? Janis: shut up, that's literally so far from the point of anything we were just talking about Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: go to hell Janis: seriously Jimmy: Tah for the holiday recommendation but the CG's only place I'm off to for a bit Jimmy: close but no 🚬 Janis: good, I hope you suffer Jimmy: 🤞 and 🙏 Janis: no need, you miserable prick Jimmy: not totally clueless then Janis: you wish Jimmy: I do wish you would catch onto a few, yeah Janis: heard you at avoid you til school starts, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're an absolute cunt Janis: why would you get me to say it again just to Jimmy: Go on Janis: and all that bullshit about being scared about getting hurt too Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: Yeah, all of this is utter bollocks Jimmy: what the fuck is right though Jimmy: what the fuck else do you expect me to do? Janis: how the fuck do you take me REPEATEDLY telling you that I want you as 'I'm going to ignore you from now on, bye' Janis: literally are we having the same conversation Jimmy: How can you think telling me repeatedly what a low fucking opinion of me you've got of me is gonna put me in a 😍 mood? Jimmy: Or that this is a good idea when we don't trust each other Janis: where Jimmy: You want this to mean nowt and now there's nowt to worry about Janis: I never said I have a low opinion of you Janis: and you don't give a shit about what I want so don't even pretend for the bit Jimmy: how do you take me REPEATEDLY asking you what you want as not caring about the answer? Janis: when you do the opposite Janis: how else can I take that Jimmy: like I said, what else can I do? Janis: not what I want, apparently Janis: alright Jimmy: I really fucking like you, alright Janis: we don't even know each other, how many times have you said that Jimmy: not enough obviously Jimmy: if it didn't make any difference Janis: but Janis: why Jimmy: Why are you asking me like its my fault? Janis: not fault but I do everything Janis: did everything so this doesn't happen Jimmy: It might be fake Jimmy: a headfuck like you said Jimmy: everything just Janis: you think so Janis: yeah you liked fake me Janis: you don't like me, you say it all the time Jimmy: that'd make more sense Jimmy: but tonight was real and I liked that too Janis: this is a mess Janis: i am Janis: you shouldn't get involved just 'cos I wanna Jimmy: but it weren't one sided Jimmy: everything we did earlier I wanted to do it Jimmy: and everything we still haven't Janis: it'd be easier if we hated each other Janis: its okay if I like you but you shouldn't like me Jimmy: just do me a favour alright Janis: what Jimmy: keep being real with me so I can work it out Janis: i don't want to hurt you Janis: i don't know or care how i put it before but i don't Jimmy: I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: might be that tonight's a fluke, I'm drunk and you're fit, not gonna not be into it Jimmy: you Janis: alright Janis: then it's a deal Jimmy: What? Janis: I'll keep being real Janis: like you asked Jimmy: Promise Janis: promise Jimmy: Alright, I swear I'm sorry Janis: what for Janis: not saying there's so much you gotta be specific but Jimmy: Making this weird Jimmy: weirder Janis: weren't one-sided either Janis: it's what it is Jimmy: Will you still Janis: come see you? Jimmy: Do you still wanna? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Okay Janis: besides, someone needs to make sure you don't die on the job Janis: bring you some caffeine that doesn't taste like shit Jimmy: and deny Ian the pleasure of doing me in? What kind of son would I be Janis: so your dads a real dick yeah Jimmy: you were warned Janis: we need to pimp out your shed so you got a place to sleep Janis: I was thinking Jimmy: the trampoline's alright, like you said Jimmy: can't remember how you did but you liked it Janis: when it's warm-ish out, yeah Janis: was comfy Janis: you or that dog woke me up though Jimmy: It's always warm out compared to Manchester Jimmy: why I need my 😎 Jimmy: and everything is always the 🐕 never me Janis: take your word for it on both of those Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I get why you reckon it'd be easier for us to hate each other but I hate Ian and nowt is for it Janis: yeah Janis: you're right Janis: there's nothing easy about hate it's just Janis: more familiar, idk Jimmy: the 💔 is different Janis: right Janis: if you already hate them, then it's not as shit, yeah Jimmy: At least you don't love me, it's even shitter when it's both together Janis: yeah Janis: headfuck doesn't begin to cover it Jimmy: @ my mum if she still used her profiles Janis: you don't know? Jimmy: She ain't logged in for years, why do you reckon I'm so tempted Janis: can't blame her Jimmy: who could compete with Iantaylor8 for online presence Jimmy: other than us Janis: well exactly Janis: also be a bit rude to deny the world your face Jimmy: yours Jimmy: so I'll keep my 📷 one Jimmy: maybe Janis: as long as you don't avoid me too Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: then don't Janis: I don't want you to either Jimmy: tell me again tomorrow Jimmy: when I'm less Janis: gotcha Jimmy: it just hurts more now Janis: i'm sorry Janis: do you want me to come? i don't have to Jimmy: you didn't do this Janis: what do you need, let's start there Jimmy: Now? Janis: yeah, now Jimmy: Tomorrow Jimmy: it needs to be tomorrow so I can see you Janis: baby Janis: you can see me today, it's alright Janis: I'll help you at work, it'll all be good Jimmy: I'm not letting you serve lattes to any of those dickheads Jimmy: you're too good Janis: shh Janis: i wanna help you somehow, i've gotta Jimmy: Do you wanna just 💀💀💀 them? Jimmy: me and you Janis: killing spree then a death pact is a solid chain of events but probably want to start in a better state, don't we Janis: 💪🥇 Jimmy: can be an utterly new pact if there's enough poison to go round Jimmy: you don't have to die at the end Janis: what about you? Jimmy: Did you forget? 👻 Jimmy: already am Janis: how could I Janis: is your manager actually in today? what if we contact that Pete kid see if he'll cover for you Janis: you should get some proper sleep, in an actual bed Janis: I can persuade him Jimmy: OMG you wanna use me to slide into his DMs Janis: boy, focus Janis: not really the sexiest approach, please do some overtime for my boyfriend Jimmy: 👀 on your 😍 girl Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you gonna answer any of that or Jimmy: I don't know if my manager is supposed to be in Jimmy: probably won't be either way though Jimmy: Oh the money, power and the glory Janis: you can but dream, yeah Janis: well it's up to you then Janis: but it'd probably be worse if you were in and in this state so what he don't know Janis: can't get you sacked Jimmy: I don't have any other place to go though, do I Janis: won't he be at work by now himself? Janis: can come back to mine if not, no funny business Jimmy: he's not the one I care about Janis: your brother and sister? Jimmy: I'm not gonna wake her up to let me in Jimmy: or let him see me like Janis: right, okay Janis: we'll sort you out first Jimmy: Didn't reckon all that fake nursing training you had would really come in handy, eh? Jimmy: can't help being goals Janis: bit of an extreme length to go to for some TLC but I'll allow it Janis: I'm on my way now so just hold on, yeah Jimmy: I mean, it's fairly standard for me but alright Janis: how you pull all the birds is it Jimmy: Babe, I'm just SUCH a lad, yeah? Jimmy: get drunk, have a scrap, nick my dad's scotch and get MORE drunk Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: gotta be done Janis: I get it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: fit right in on this bus Jimmy: don't get 💀💀💀 after we've changed the story in favour of your survival Jimmy: bit rude Janis: try my best Janis: don't victim blame me Janis: please and thanks Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: blaming you for nowt Jimmy: 😂 bit soon? Janis: hmm, don't get cheeky, like Janis: just 'cos you're a patient today Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: just a bit then Janis: trying to be nice Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I won't be cheeky enough that you kick me out of bed Janis: you're always nice, babe Janis: little ray of sunshine Jimmy: anyone can be nice Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🌩🌪 Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: You know when you're a kid and you count Jimmy: that's what it's like waiting to see you Janis: you're gonna make me Janis: forget to be professional Jimmy: not on the clock til you get here, it's alright Janis: I'm mostly worried about when I do get there, like Janis: not that I'm about to give the bus a show Jimmy: don't worry I'll take care of you too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: yeah, we are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're alright, you know Janis: you know I think you're alright Jimmy: I will be when you show up Janis: such a smoothtalker, honestly Jimmy: I know you didn't think all that were fake Jimmy: come on Janis: there's only so far you can get with no inspiration, yeah Jimmy: good thing you're 🎨 or we'd have been exposed as frauds ages ago Janis: we're a pretty good team, all things considered Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: yep Janis: shame you can't put relationships on CVs Jimmy: I can't pay you owt either 💔 Janis: don't need it Janis: or want it, like Jimmy: but decent headshots could get you a modelling job 📷 not 🎯 Jimmy: I could do that Janis: then we could both go Janis: no 💀 Jimmy: might work Janis: start of a plan Janis: we have such a good track record, like Jimmy: 💀👑 would 💀🤯 Jimmy: ⚰🎊🍾 Janis: just when she thought she couldn't be any more jealous Jimmy: I can give motivational speeches as my 2nd job too cause I felt it with every emoji Janis: very empowering, babe 💕 Jimmy: onto something Janis: reckon so Janis: just don't bang EVERY model you shoot Janis: get well shaming Jimmy: They'd have to all be as fit as you Janis: practically in the job description Janis: unless they're the 'unique' kind Jimmy: there's loads in mine I don't do Janis: 😱 employee of the month Janis: shh Jimmy: you'd vote for Pete anyway Janis: don't think they follow democratic process Janis: and how dare you, Jamie is the backbone of that place Jimmy: still Jimmy: you would Janis: nah Janis: you deffo would though Jimmy: I'd vote for myself Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: #selflove Janis: can respect it, boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 1. how much scotch did you drink Janis: 2. did you text your ex anything you should delete before you sober up Jimmy: if you're asking if there's any left for you 💔 I fucked up Jimmy: as for Hayley, she's been told to fuck off by half the north, she'll live Janis: could be worse then Janis: not for me, obvs Janis: but same Jimmy: I don't wanna get back with her, you know that, right? Janis: not my business either way Jimmy: Alright but do you have to say it like that? Janis: how do you want me to say it Jimmy: if its how you feel then Janis: look Janis: I'm glad I don't have to share your attention right now Janis: 'course I am but I don't need to sound possessive about it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Jimmy: Before, you said Jimmy: maybe I can't remember it right though Janis: no go on Janis: it's cool Jimmy: I dunno, I just Jimmy: reckoned you needed to hear that Janis: I did think maybe Janis: just some things you'd said too but it's Janis: you know Jimmy: you go on Janis: well like I said, not my business if you were Janis: but yeah, I thought you were Janis: I'd get it Jimmy: I wouldn't get it Jimmy: I trusted her and she Jimmy: It don't even matter anymore Jimmy: I made a mistake doing that and she made hers Janis: it's okay, you don't owe me an explanation Janis: I don't know her or your situation Janis: I just thought, from my limited perspective, you hate it here, it'd be a link to home, even if it was a bad one, like Jimmy: I hated it there an' all Jimmy: just 'cause I didn't ask and weren't asked to come here don't mean I wanna go back Janis: oh Janis: well that I get Jimmy: you had it right when you called me a miserable prick or whatever it were Janis: bit harsh though Janis: shit's shit Janis: you'd be an idiot if you didn't see it Jimmy: 🌧☔ me Jimmy: I'm alright with it by now Janis: yeah? Janis: that's something then Jimmy: everything's shit everywhere Jimmy: nowt gonna change next place he drags us Janis: wherever you go, there you are Jimmy: might get a new mum, might not Jimmy: might hear from my actual, might not Janis: she don't even call Jimmy: and say what? Janis: fucked Jimmy: they both were Jimmy: are Jimmy: and so are us kids Jimmy: ⚪ Janis: yep Janis: get out early as you can Janis: and don't have kids yourself Janis: only poem I've read that's any use Jimmy: 💔 that age 6 is probably pushing it a bit Janis: give it a few more years of shit and you can get away with it Jimmy: I'll start him on the poem anyway Janis: Larkin's dead easy Janis: debatable how appropriate but I'd go for very so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so we're going back to mine first Janis: or what Jimmy: You made this plan Janis: you gonna comply Jimmy: Depends Janis: that's what I was 🙀 of Janis: go on Jimmy: my 🙀💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: What's your house like? Janis: old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere Janis: perfect place for the local nutters to reside Jimmy: well now I'M 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you should be Janis: nah, you'll be able to get a decent kip, they're all doing their own shit and giving me disapproving looks if they know what's good for 'em Jimmy: Alright, protect me then Janis: always, babe Jimmy: I'm being dead serious Janis: 1. what makes you think I ain't Janis: 2. why Jimmy: just Janis: we can sneak in Janis: well, we can try but I don't know how well you'll do, pisshead Jimmy: Shut up 🏆💪 Janis: happy to be proved wrong Janis: it'll all be good though, promise Jimmy: stay close to me and you can every step Janis: I won't leave you on your own Jimmy: because you wanna stay or because you reckon I'll 🤢 and choke to 💀💀💀 Janis: you've made it this far without me, I'm not that bigheaded Janis: believe that or not Janis: I wanna stay Jimmy: even if I wanna die I wouldn't give Mia owt close to any satisfaction so that ain't the way for me to go Janis: hot Janis: keeping it petty, even in 💀💀💀 Jimmy: remind me to send it as a tweet tomorrow or something Janis: 'course Janis: that relatable suicidal/horny vibe, they get it Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: I think so Jimmy: I think no # would ever do you justice Jimmy: a voice memo is pushing it even with this top accent Janis: that laugh one you sent me was cute Jimmy: you do make me 😂 girl Janis: I know Janis: got the evidence for all time now 💕 Jimmy: keep it Jimmy: I'll be back as a 👻 fucking up all your electronics baby Janis: dunno what you got against 🍆s Jimmy: if they're not in you then nowt Janis: 😂 Janis: new levels of jealousy that Jimmy: is it? Janis: new to me Jimmy: Soz then Janis: don't Janis: don't need to be, like Jimmy: but if it's weird Jimmy: or too like Janis: it ain't Janis: its Janis: it ain't Janis: I wanna hear it all Janis: don't hold back okay Jimmy: You wanna hear what bits you do then you want me to shut up is what you mean Janis: would've said it if that's what I meant Janis: just 'cos I don't know what to say don't mean you can't say it if you wanna Jimmy: it's what everyone means, nowt personal Janis: you're just so chatty, like Jimmy: You just bring it out in me Janis: 'course Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: have to write you a poem now I know you're such a fan Janis: 😂 Janis: go on, he was always drunk Janis: will be a masterpiece Jimmy: Alright, shut up and let us crack on Janis: such a 🎨 temperament Janis: 🤐 alright Jimmy: [a selfie of his adorably drunk concentration face like 🤔 with a pen in his mouth and everything] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: OMG Janis: your fault Jimmy: Girl if you don't 🤐🤐🤐 Janis: or what, boy Jimmy: You'll show up and I'll show you Janis: mhmm 😏 Janis: reckon you've got like 5-10 so write fast Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nearly done Janis: dread to think Jimmy: Oi🥇 muse and top content Jimmy: so rude Janis: just a sext that rhymes, yeah? Jimmy: You ain't having it now Jimmy: gonna 🔥 it dramatically in this bin Janis: let's not play with fire tah Janis: and don't be mean Jimmy: you Janis: I'm joking Janis: I'm sure it's 🔥 Jimmy: [a poem that I don't have the talent to actually write soz lads] Janis: it actually is Janis: how did you do that Jimmy: I told you got a 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 muse in you Jimmy: keep up with what I'm saying, Janet Janis: but really Jimmy: What? Janis: you're good, that's all Jimmy: Baby Janis: I mean it, like Janis: no bullshit Janis: english teacher must love you Jimmy: she don't Jimmy: too much 🎨 in my margins Janis: can't be tamed Janis: maverick Jimmy: rebel with just that one cause still Janis: 'course baby Jimmy: if you ain't wearing your pjs why would you even be here, like Janis: you can see 'em when we get back Janis: sure you've missed them Jimmy: gonna make me 😭😭 Janis: emotional drunk Janis: it's alright, won't tell Jimmy: emotional support PJs Janis: 😂 don't get to be a funny one and all Jimmy: can do it all me Janis: 😍 Janis: just need to sleep, alright Jimmy: you wanna 🥊 or 💋? Jimmy: working through the list Janis: you know we can't do either yeah Janis: not drunk as you now Janis: nothing if not fair, me Jimmy: can fix that for you Jimmy: unless your parents are teetotal or something Jimmy: even then can't live that in the middle of nowt, can you Janis: lol you have no idea Janis: wait and see Janis: and we're fixing you, not feeding my addiction Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know, how d'ya think I feel Janis: things I do for you Jimmy: I'll owe you though, you love that Janis: that's you but good to even the score Janis: can't lie Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: is that a subtle way to say I need to hurry or Jimmy: working through a list, I said Jimmy: gotta use the bin for something since you said no fires Janis: so demanding Janis: almost like I don't want you getting more burns Jimmy: that Freddy Krueger #aesthetic though 😍 Jimmy: love a stripy jumper me Jimmy: very slimming 💀👑 will double tap my OOTD faster than you can say no cheese Janis: you are technically a nonce so Janis: the fedora fits Jimmy: 😂 Janis: where are you then Jimmy: where am I Jimmy: good question that Janis: full of 'em, me Janis: gimme a clue Jimmy: 🍀 Janis: oh good, you ain't fled the country Janis: wouldn't be very good for my rep, that Jimmy: Looking for a bus has gotta be easier than looking for the one lad Jimmy: hang on Janis: how blurry are your 👀 Jimmy: I'll take my 😎 off, babe Jimmy: for you Janis: scandalous Janis: behave you Jimmy: #nudes Jimmy: 👀 Janis: dunno if I'll recognize you even Jimmy: 😱😱😱💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: supposed to know me anywhere you Jimmy: the films have fucking lied Janis: shit fake gf me Janis: always said it Jimmy: If you want a tea you'll have to wait til we get back Jimmy: or fake it of course Janis: wanna have a tea party Jimmy: Depends Janis: guest list? Jimmy: So who else is invited? Janis: only the best 🧸s in town Jimmy: Forget that twat 🧸 your sister hangs out with then Janis: 😂 Janis: deffo Jimmy: I dont want owt to do with him Jimmy: no trust there, like Janis: unless he makes his own way Janis: ain't risking that bear cave to bring him Jimmy: if he is owt like her Jimmy: 🥇 at turning up where she ain't wanted Janis: telling me Janis: 🤞 he's like his father Jimmy: yeah, your birth being one Jimmy: well awkward Janis: so rude, honestly Janis: fuming in that womb I was Jimmy: Well done on taking the spotlight every day since, mate Janis: 🤷 Janis: someone's gotta Janis: she'd melt Jimmy: the kind of commitment I need Jimmy: and you need on your CV Janis: always banking them transferrable skills Jimmy: might be the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: dunno but it's up there Janis: you're a lucky boy Janis: everyone knows Jimmy: fake 💍 ASAP then Janis: have to find me first Jimmy: Stop distracting me Jimmy: or be distracting IRL Janis: [find this boy lmao] Jimmy: [just like oh hey cos how far away can he really be] Janis: [exactly, when you've gotta wait for a bus straight back, go to a different cafe and get some breakfast kids] Jimmy: [state of him he needs it lbr] Janis: [just steering him like] Jimmy: [nice parallel to when he had to when she hurt herself on that trip lol] Janis: [just silently fuming at Ian's handiwork blatantly, actually getting a pot of tea too 'cos why not] Jimmy: [tea improves any situation okay bye] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [are they sitting next to each other or opposite? Real questions] Janis: [hmm, probably opposite on a lil 2 seater moment] Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Janis: [plenty of time for snuggling later, oh the casual tension you're having to put aside rn girl, it fine lmao] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but actually no Im not haha] Janis: ['better?'] Jimmy: ['if things between us are' you know hes drunk when he answers a question] Janis: [nods but looks away like so casual 'course'] Jimmy: [when you're just trying to do something to make her look at you again but you end up just gently holding her face and looking into her eyes for 9 years] Janis: [bit deer in the headlights but allowing it still] Jimmy: [nods genuinely like okay I believe you as if she hasnt just come all this way to find you and take care of you bitch] Janis: [licks his hand like get off but also kisses it 'dope'] Jimmy: ['stop giving me such weird compliments'] Janis: ['stop taking insults as compliments, slag' 😏] Jimmy: [throws a sugar packet at her like how sweet] Janis: [puts it in his tea like energy] Jimmy: ['Oi, sweet enough me' but puts another one in anyway] Janis: 🍬🍨🍧🍭🍰 Janis: you Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 🤞 won't be any time soon Janis: ['try your best' shrugs 'like you said, ain't your fault though'] Jimmy: My fault he ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: I'll come through with the ☢️⚠️☣️ Jimmy: only so many times I can say tah before it's weird, you know Janis: won't tell if you forget your manners Jimmy: 😏 you'd like it is why Janis: shh Janis: return the favour Jimmy: not gonna say owt to anyone Jimmy: mute, remember Janis: can be as loud as you wanna, remember Jimmy: that middle of nowhere, is it? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: told you Janis: no one can hear you 😱 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: very shy me Janis: yeah, noticed Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but nearly knocks the precious tea everywhere cos drunkard] Janis: ['careful!'] Janis: I ain't got an apron and you can't be out yours yet Jimmy: [throws a napkin at her like sorted] Janis: [😑] Jimmy: sure you don't wanna 🥊, babe? Janis: stop being tempting Jimmy: never 💕 Janis: what am I gonna do with you, like Jimmy: What do you wanna do with me? Janis: [a LOOK 😳] Jimmy: [obviously giving her one back but shamelessly] Janis: [putting your finger to his mouth like he speaking] Jimmy: [you know they gotta go in his mouth in a saucy manner now girl he got no chill and cant be stopped] Janis: we're in public Jimmy: You're my girlfriend in public Janis: you see anyone else doing Janis: that Jimmy: if they were going out with you, I would see it, yeah Janis: you're wasted Jimmy: and what? Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Jimmy: it's won't not can't Jimmy: and that's only 'cause you said Janis: yeah okay Janis: but that's the right thing to do Janis: even if I don't wanna Jimmy: If it feels right to you then Janis: you know it is Janis: or you'll know later Jimmy: Later I'll be 😴💤 I won't know nowt Janis: that's the plan Janis: come find me after that, yeah? Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: nowhere Jimmy: might actually be able to find you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: believe in ya Janis: ['finish up' 'cos bus has to come eventually] Jimmy: [when you just give her a look like do you though? before necking that tea honey] Janis: [gathering their shit and holding the door open for him like come on boy] Jimmy: ['so romantic you' as he goes through the door like] Janis: [does a bow] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [takes her hand because if you cant handhold when you need to be kept upright when can you] Janis: ['least you'll definitely get a seat' 'cos can't be wobbling about the bus lmao] Jimmy: ['A northern 45 is a 95 anywhere else, only gotta spread the word a bit'] Janis: ['you're doing a great job with the psa, mate'] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [sitting him down and she should have to stand busy bus vibe] Jimmy: [trying to move up as if she can share this seat with you like that unthinkingly but she not #smol] Janis: tah Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: considerate forever Jimmy: [gesturing that she can sit on you because not like she hasnt before and its all so casual lol lol lol] Janis: [a look like are you sure? also excuse them the like old lady he's probably next to heheheh] Jimmy: [a look like do you wanna stand for 13 years I dont think so] Janis: [shrugs and hops on] Jimmy: [wrapping his arms around her like a seatbelt even though shes not gonna fall off and we know you just are doing a little hug moment boy] Janis: [so soft] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [a moment even if you're dying slightly] Jimmy: [just really leaning his head on her so casually here too nbd] Janis: [stroking his hair and sneaky checking the bruises and stuff] Jimmy: [he started it but its too soft and hes dying like] Janis: at least you look cool Janis: [is sad face tho] Jimmy: [makes her sad face a smiley face by smushing it] Janis: [lols 'excuse me'] Jimmy: helping you look if not 😎 then 😊 Janis: you're sweet Jimmy: you not gonna do the emojis this time? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: baby Jimmy: [😍 in this close a proximity, not a good idea boy, but here we are] Janis: you're just very Janis: distracting Janis: [so much eye contact] Jimmy: [when you say 'you' out loud so you don't have to break it by looking down at your phone to type] Janis: [annnnnd hold, just internally debating if you can kiss him or not morally] Jimmy: [we all know he would be leaning in to kiss her and then would so] Janis: [go with it girl, it's okay] Jimmy: [don't mind them bus peeps they just gotta have a moment] Janis: [lmao the tutting they don't even notice rn] Jimmy: [deal with it slags they are in love] Janis: [the level of restraint you need to keep it just at a makeout moment tbh, the old lady should need to get off like ahem lol] Jimmy: [honestly its been SUCH a night and they are gonna be on this bus for ages yet gdi, off you go 👵] Janis: [least they've got two seats now, spread out] Jimmy: [but never that much you clingy bitches #same] Janis: [lbr would've taken you longer than necessary to get off his lap] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [has to kiss her again obvs because they stop when they want not when a 👵 says so] Janis: [which is lowkey never but it's fine, long bus journey] Jimmy: [at least you can take advantage of having slightly more space to basically swap over so he's all but on top of her now instead, the tuts would be LOUD haha] Janis: [just being like 'don't get too comfy' 😏 between kisses] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK because unrepentant af about any of this soz passengers] Janis: [when you have to be the one with some control lmao good luck] Jimmy: [at least theres plenty of other people on this bus to tell you to get some LOL] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪🔪 Janis: 👴👵🚨👮⛓ Jimmy: 👵💔👴 Jimmy: so jealous them Jimmy: 👮🚔 will be an all Janis: yeah you're pretty cute Jimmy: you Janis: you wanna 🥊 so bad Jimmy: not what I most want but alright Janis: really Janis: maybe you should be clearer Jimmy: [more kisses that are more extra, look away people] Janis: I get it Jimmy: You sure? Janis: ['You know you wanna' and a LOOK] Jimmy: [forever returning those looks bitch and you can have some lovebites too girl cos its been a minute for you] Janis: [into it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [just taking photos of said bruises like it's a force of habit but you just wanna] Jimmy: [thats fine because gives him an excuse to take 📷 of her too which he always just wants to] Janis: you gonna be my personal photographer Janis: when I'm mega famous Jimmy: Do you still want me to follow you about then? Janis: Do you? Janis: [are you him like] Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: Paris, Milan, Tokyo Janis: list is endless Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Janis: sorted Jimmy: til I get lost Jimmy: at least you know how to take a decent selfie, babe Janis: have to put a tracker on you Janis: not a crazy gf, for his safety purely Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [just looking into those 😍 with your own] Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [kissing her on each cheek really soft like hes practising for europe but we know its for the 😳] Janis: ['stop' but soft] Jimmy: [does but doesnt move far enough away so still up in her grill like] Janis: [just pushing his head down, gently lol, like go to sleep] Jimmy: [pouty face] Janis: [squishing his face for revenge] Jimmy: [like oi because standard but snuggling into her] Janis: ['promise I'll wake you up'] Jimmy: ['no challenge too hard going for you, I get it' sleepy voiced] Janis: ['flexes the arm he ain't on] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: [have a snooze boy we'll skipperoo] Jimmy: [take some deep breaths Janis theres so much more to come babe] Janis: [roll up on the cali gaff lads] Jimmy: [that wont be awks at all now that its whatever o clock in the morning] Janis: [when one of them probably stayed home to watch her so she already snuck out to get him, on the shit list big time rn] Jimmy: [I hope whichever parent it is aint doing yoga on the lawn rn] Janis: [lmao now is not the time lads, not sneaking though 'cos fuck you fam is the mood evidently] Jimmy: [it really isnt because it should probably be Ali to show how seriously they are taking the driving escapade so him thinking her mum is fit is really not the mood] Jimmy: [also take a moment to really appreciate HOW MANY cats he would think he was half asleep still cos wtf] Janis: [i vibe] Janis: [when you're so embarrassed by your fam/house/everything tbh like get in my room quick thanks] Jimmy: [at least he wont really fully register it cos actually is sleepy so she can just hustle him through speedily] Janis: [just moving her shit out the way so he can get in] Jimmy: [I cant even think what her room would look like either dont start me] Jimmy: [so much like her nan bye] Janis: [like it was once nice 'cos can afford nice shit but is now wrecked/she's never in there now so any posters would be dated as hell] Jimmy: [I feel like hes gotta notice that even though hes not gonna say anything] Jimmy: [file that away in your head boy] Janis: [for another time, also have a nice tuck-in moment for the throwback] Jimmy: [yaaas! what size is her bed?] Janis: [defs a double 'cos she doesn't have loads of other shit she needs so she can] Jimmy: [good thinking you aint gonna have a homework desk are you babe] Janis: [and the attic is already more sizeable anyway soz lads, like they all could, but for example we said grace don't 'cos she wants her youtube background moment so then there is no room] Jimmy: [and Grace never brings lads home cos she would rather die so priorities] Janis: [surprised she brings her friends tbh, Mia like we coming bitch] Jimmy: [she wouldnt want them there but yeah Mia inviting herself from day 1] Janis: [getting all the tea the snek] Jimmy: [I hate her so much because we all know bitches like that] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [anything I need to know about that Janis is gonna do while hes just sleeping and snuggling?] Janis: [she'd probably do some homework 'cos promised she wouldn't leave obvs, work out 'cos all the tension today but that's only next room and also snuggle] Jimmy: [I was gonna say, use that gym honey its been a DAY for you both] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [we need another skip cos we gotta let this poor boy sleep for a while] Janis: [let her have a sleep too 'cos also hasn't so he can wake up first] Jimmy: [casually like where the fuck am I in that hot sec before he realises shes still right there bitch 😍 at her for a bit boy she wont know] Jimmy: [but actually like snuggling into her more cos you know you should check your phone to see if your siblings are alive but you dont wanna but thanks to Ian it would hurt trying to bury your head cos you arent drunk anymore so youre like ow and thatd probably wake her up so] Janis: [enjoy boy, waking up like 'hey'] Jimmy: [saying it back in the quietest voice ever] Janis: ['you need water?' and going to get up] Jimmy: [when youre like I need painkillers for all these injuries but you arent gonna say that because gotta be hard and northern so say nothing] Janis: [looking back like ?] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug, oh boy have some water and dont be a knob] Janis: [goes for that water] Jimmy: [does check his phone to make sure Cass and Bobby are alright] Janis: [should've washed his uniform for him so he can look like he's been a presentable boy at work all day, so bringing that back in too] Jimmy: [thats so domestic I nearly screamed then] Janis: [when you so caring on the low and no one knows rn] Jimmy: [he would be DYING because he dont have a mum to care about him and clearly Ian isnt] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [fully conceal dont feel boy so she doesnt know how much that got to you] Janis: [just sitting back down on the bed, looking at him like 🤔 'well, you look less pissed at least'] Jimmy: [he was drinking his water and keeping it casual so gotta do a little choke laugh into it like] Janis: ['if you die when I've gone to all this trouble, I swear' 😏] Jimmy: ['less witnesses here than on the bus, be alright' 😏 oh the double meaning excuse you slag] Janis: ['that's alright then' so flirty] Jimmy: [forever giving LOOKS, oh you two] Janis: [all the looks all the time, also the PJs are on as promised so] Jimmy: [give them a nod now youre properly awake boy] Janis: [little lol] Jimmy: [takes her hand and puts it on his pulse so she can see that hes still alive cos obvs trying to kill him with how cute she looks and is] Janis: [just moving your hands up and down 'cos you wanna but then getting to his face and pausing like 'what you gonna tell the kid, if he asks?'] Jimmy: [looks down at some old burn scar or other and back at her like theres your answer cos can easily say he did it at work by falling over something or whatever] Janis: [nods 'then you're good to go-' adding '-whenever' 'cos blatantly does not want it to be yet tah] Jimmy: ['Is the plan to starve me out or-' obviously stalling because he doesnt wanna go either ha 'Mia'll be well proud' but also when was the last time they ate either of them lbr] Janis: ['could just say you're hungry, dickhead' gentle push back down, like 'what you want?'] Jimmy: ['it'd end the live tweets too quick that' gets comfy and doesnt answer what he wants of course v helpful] Janis: [when you get on top of him like you're about to playfight or be saucy, which is it??? neither, getting up like 'get what you're given then, boy' 😏] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: sure you don't wanna live-tweet it? Jimmy: You want that to be your rep then? Janis: worse things than a heartbreaker, I guess Janis: jussayin, you had your chance to chat to me 🤐 Jimmy: Oi, not if it's my heart under the 🔨 Jimmy: so rude you Janis: so your 🖤 is delicate but your lungs and kidney can take it? Janis: noted Jimmy: swing a 🔨 delicately, do you? Noted Janis: forgot liver, but thought that might be a sensitive topic still Janis: very fucking considerate, I'll have you know Jimmy: might be for you, pisshead Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: now Janis: thanks to my excellent nursing Jimmy: Then an' all Jimmy: but I know how into giving it a go you were, not the only considerate one you Janis: even if we're back to faking it, you were never that good Janis: your 😵🥴 and bambi walk gave you away Jimmy: might be concussion that, you didn't ask, some nurse you Janis: didn't need to, you told me about the scotch of your own freewill Janis: so rude to question my competence Janis: risky, when I'm making you food as well Jimmy: scotch which came after, could've already had the serious head injury Janis: 🙄 considering you've survived your all-day nap Janis: gonna say I was right and you're taking the piss Jimmy: no 🏆 coming your way for a fluke, mate Janis: don't ask for much do ya Janis: don't fancy being your real gf, high maintenance motherfucker Jimmy: Nowt off you, I hate to be disappointed me Jimmy: enough 🎻 playing as is Janis: come up here and help yourself then, twat Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: 💀👑 is probably hiding in your fridge Janis: sniffing calories Janis: yeah well you can go in the freezer if you don't start behaving Jimmy: beats a cold 🚿 if you're gonna keep being so 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: not if you're concussed Janis: can't risk injuring you further 'til you're all better, can I Jimmy: I have been before, I ain't now Jimmy: You'll have to think of another way to lose your fake nursing qualification Janis: 'cos that's what I wanna do Jimmy: be out of your hands if you ain't 🥇 Janis: and lemme guess, you'll be 🥇 and in charge, yeah? Jimmy: Let me guess, you want Pete to have final say, yeah? Janis: I mean, don't even put the idea in my head if you want this food any time soon Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 can't share that cold 🚿 Jimmy: fuck it, go on into his DMs its been a bit and I can wait one Janis: BUT WHAT DO I SAY?!?! 😱 Jimmy: pic gonna be worth loads more than words, girl Jimmy: he's an artist Janis: 👂 not 👀 but I get your point Janis: and a voice message would be well forward Jimmy: and you're 🙀🥇🙀 obvs Janis: piss off Janis: not sending nudes to every fit boy I see ain't 🙀 it's sane Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you do it then Jimmy: he don't want mine Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and you turning out to be my beard isn't very believable Janis: why not Jimmy: would've picked a different lass if that's what I was after Jimmy: more girly or something Janis: 🖕 Janis: ignoring you now Jimmy: Why 'cause I'm not gay? Bit rude Janis: no because you're rude Jimmy: for not sending unwanted nudes to my straight male coworker? Nah mate you've got that wrong Janis: 😑 Janis: to me Jimmy: What for? Janis: what do you mean what for Jimmy: What do you mean I'm being rude to you? Janis: where to begin Janis: it comes that natural, you don't even notice, eh Jimmy: You notice owt that ain't happening Janis: don't be a gaslighter, that ain't #goals Jimmy: don't be throwing words about that you could save for a # Janis: liked you better when you were asleep Jimmy: I liked you better when I were too Janis: your sense of directions for shit but you can work on where the door is if that's the case Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: are you taking this food or what Jimmy: is it done or what? Janis: you're in such a rush Janis: would you even be done with your shift yet Jimmy: You told me to be in one Janis: I never Jimmy: you said fuck off out so I'm going Janis: I said stop being a dick Jimmy: you said leave Janis: well if you don't like me why would I do things for you and why would you want me to Jimmy: I never said Janis: yeah well you did Jimmy: that were you Janis: you said it back Janis: I was joking Jimmy: because in dreams owt can happen, why wouldn't that be better? Janis: now you're gonna be slick, huh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: whatever, keats Janis: just stay and eat Janis: in the oven now, don't need go waste Jimmy: only gonna take poison off your 💋 Jules so don't get any other ideas with the 🍽 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll take your word, no need to 🔪 yourself to get it written out anywhere else Janis: yeah if they reckon last night was a suey attempt they probably will take the knives so I'll be 😇 Jimmy: til I take you somewhere else, any road Jimmy: soon have you back at 😈🥇 Janis: not sure I can take your word on that score yet Janis: but we'll see Jimmy: Why not? Janis: still impatiently waiting for you to take me, ain't I Jimmy: if you're so impatient let's go Janis: gotta eat Jimmy: not me 👻 Janis: take my duties very serious, even if you doubt my ability Jimmy: so serious you Jimmy: that'll be why you were all jokes a bit ago Janis: keep your on your toes Janis: check for any concussion Jimmy: I'll work out with you, stop begging Janis: never keep up, baby Jimmy: That hurts, babe Jimmy: Ian's got nowt on you Janis: give him pointers on the verbal smackdown if I see him Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 you won't but tah Jimmy: getting really boring having the same row every time, like Janis: yeah, figured I was fucked for an invite back Janis: give him some new material, whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant 'cause he makes himself scarce for a bit after Jimmy: not showing you the door Janis: Ah Janis: almost like remorse, but not quite, sir Jimmy: Don't wanna look at me til I'm healed Jimmy: he'll have that in common with my instagram feed I'm sure Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Prick Jimmy: You ready for your close up then? Jimmy: be your time to shine, this Janis: so kind of you to share your spotlight Janis: 😏 Jimmy: well you know, if the queen of the undead asks I got every bruise decking some dickhead for you or whatever so I won't need it Jimmy: hero worshipped as standard Janis: she ain't very good down on her knees, so the rumor mill says so might wanna reconsider getting 'em 🙏 Jimmy: Teeth falling out during would put anyone off tbf Jimmy: 🤞 she at least swallows them Jimmy: Tooth fairy won't come but the lad might still Jimmy: 💕 Janis: put out a poll in the groupchat Janis: important info Jimmy: Where's Grace's room, if I don't get lost I'll ask her Janis: piss off Jimmy: Come on, tell me Janis: shut up, no Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: What? Janis: you know what Jimmy: No Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: go on Janis: I don't need to, pretty obvious Janis: ask your sister the same shall I Jimmy: She don't have a #squad for you to get the goss on, soz babes Janis: well I'm not gonna, freak Janis: neither are you Jimmy: What's the fucking matter with you? Janis: what are you on about Jimmy: You heard Janis: and you heard, shut up chatting about my sister Janis: don't see how you don't see that that's weird Jimmy: I weren't chatting about her, just her besties Jimmy: So what's your problem with that? Janis: just quit whilst I've got hot food coming at you or it'll end up in your lap Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [coming through with some kind of safe food she's just shoved in for them] Jimmy: [takes it so he can eat it and shhh] Janis: [omnom] Jimmy: [awkward moody silent eating lol] Janis: [fun times forever] Jimmy: [just finishing speedily and getting ready to go as if I'm gonna let that happen haha] Janis: [looking up as if she's shooketh 'alright?'] Jimmy: [a nod that's clearly incorrect] Janis: [a funny face like obvs not 'come on'] Jimmy: [a look thats like dont tell me to come on] Janis: [😱😬😋 in that order] Jimmy: [leaving but not really cos I still ain't gonna let him get that far obvs] Janis: excuse you Jimmy: can do, if you want Janis: the least you can do is say bye Jimmy: Alright then Jimmy: bye Janis: fuck you, come back here and say it to my face Jimmy: [does come storming back in but doesnt say it, because just looking at her intensely instead] Janis: [😡 face 'say.it.'] Jimmy: ['you' doesnt need to be as up in her grill as he is, but what's new 'why are you being such a massive dickhead?'] Janis: ['me?' outrage lmao 'you. what is your problem right now?'] Jimmy: ['What's yours? I fucking asked you ages ago'] Janis: ['Nothing, you've been an asshole ever since you woke up'] Jimmy: ['No, I've not, you've been having a go at me since your sister got mentioned'] Janis: ['and I told you, it weren't funny'] Jimmy: [annoyed shrug like whatever then] Janis: ['goodbye then' and flinging yourself dramatically on the bed] Jimmy: [does not move] Janis: [is on phone not looking his way so] Janis: what Jimmy: [taking her phone off her #problematic] Janis: [death stare 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [when you can't handle her shouting at you because soft boy 5ever so you're in a shut down like you didnt start this, oh boy so problematic] Janis: ['what' at a normal level like genuine confusion] Jimmy: ['everything's shit' but quietly like the grandma I am would be like ?? 'since I woke up, before then, just....'] Janis: [sighs, rubbing her temples and sitting back down from getting up to shout 'yeah' also quiet 'it is'] Jimmy: [sits next to her but not close to her, a throwback to that bench on the school trip because I'm that slut] Janis: ['I get it, alright' throwing a glance back but not maintaining any eye contact rn 'sorry'] Jimmy: [lying on your back to stare at her ceiling dramatically because you wanna cry and its another throwback while Im on a roll 'I'm a dickhead and I'm sorry'] Janis: ['yeah but so am I, for one; and two, don't make it alright that everything's SO shit, you know' shrugs, shuffles back but doesn't commit to laying down next to him, taking his hand] Jimmy: ['You're not though, you're-' I can't even begin to go there rn boy, sits up but without letting go of her hand and is just looking down at it like 'and you have made it alright, a bit' because she is so nice and he cant even deal Janis: ['a bit' 🤏 smiles a lil and nudges him like, you ain't either though, shrugs 'just what any fucker would do, and they probably wouldn't be a cunt minute you wake up so-'] Jimmy: [raises their linked hands like I can't do the lot stretched out hand thing without letting go, soz because of course he isnt gonna do that. Lowkey crying silently #same because you dont know how to express how nice she is or how much you arent used to/cant handle it] Janis: [when their hands are going back down, tapping his head 'you nerd' then taking his other hand and finally hugging so he can cry in private 'I swear, I wanna make it alright all the time, I wanna be your mate but you don't get it, I ain't a good one, all I'll bring is more hassle, like'] Jimmy: [just the longest hug ever because all the reasons 'you're the best I've had, I get that it sounds fake but it's not'] Janis: [just squeezing him tighter 'cos what to say like same bitch] Jimmy: [such a MOMENT 'you wanna get out of here with me now then?'] Janis: ['yeah' no hesitation 'but you're gonna have to leave and I'm gonna have to sneak out after'] Jimmy: need a 🚬 anyway Jimmy: find me after Janis: okay Jimmy: [leaves but looks back of course cos ILY bitch] Janis: [chasing him down and giving him the most intense kiss of all time, pablo where you at to interrupt] Jimmy: [OMG Mia where you at tho] Janis: [if she was actually over LMAO] Jimmy: [she so could be if we want because always inviting herself] Janis: [amuses me greatly why not] Jimmy: [Grace chasing Mia down but not to kiss her I hope and just like oh ffs because so over Mias obsession with JJ] Janis: [#thereallovestory] Jimmy: [they are everyones otp get over it now Mia] Janis: [least they can bants about how it's getting weird now, egg on your face sweaty Jimmy: [and she cant hang so she cant join them bants soz] Janis: [not soz, when you can start kissing again like it's purely to get them to fuck off but blatantly not] Jimmy: [going for it because you know Mia is too invested when Grace has to drag her away like dont be weird] Janis: [probably try to join in, just loling when they're gone] Jimmy: [you know they are having a bestie domestic, Grace having to be all what is your problem herself because seriously Mia get a grip my love] Janis: [oh the drama, weekly falling out is on, pick a side everyone] Jimmy: [at least JJ are living their best lives rn] Janis: ['why are you making me wanna stay, just a bit' 🤏] Jimmy: [kissing her again because challenge to make her wanna stay a lot is very much accepted] Janis: [just making your way back upstairs really slowly 'cos you're making out the whole way/being pushes backwards] Jimmy: [don't fall over and hurt yourselves either of you because that wouldnt be a mood and this is] Janis: [you got this, on your knees/sat anyway so it fine] Jimmy: [love that you keep having moments on stairs atm] Janis: [mewd] Jimmy: [god bless you both] Janis: [first time yay or nay?] Jimmy: [I say yes because it happened here OG anyway and feels are well high like how would we even stop them lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [we have to steal them missing their stop on the bus from the OG and having to walk for another occasion though cos that was a mood] Janis: [yes easily done tho so we will] Jimmy: [blatantly re-read that hence me and my dementia remember so] Jimmy: [At least Cali cant kick off at her because she did technically stay in] Janis: [gonna say I do not tbh lol] Janis: [if they do just be like HE WAS LOCKED OUT fight me] Jimmy: [we all know Caleb is a soft touch anyway lads] Janis: [trutru also save the lecture she busylol] Jimmy: [he would have that boy over for dinner every night and lowkey adopt him haha] Janis: [he don't know that yet tho just thinking there's another bad egg on the scene] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [the joys of being a parent lmao] Jimmy: [arent you glad you went as hard as you did on the numbers guys] Janis: [regrets, you have 10] Jimmy: [awkward] Janis: [speaking of, how you wanna be lads] Jimmy: [staying forever is how he will wanna be clingy bitch] Janis: [probably need to go feed your siblings though so he could always have a headstart and she'll meet him there] Jimmy: [good point, gotta keep them alive] Janis: [especially if Ian is hiding] Jimmy: [at least he would be at work still so easy to avoid] Janis: [true tea, and if he shows Jimmy can pretend he been working all day anyway] Jimmy: [Twix will be going mental honey, poor bab] Janis: [🤞 cass been holding the fort and walked her] Jimmy: [Im gonna insist she has or Ill be 💔] Jimmy: [also gotta insist that Mia has been posting about them so they gotta be reminded of the fake shit after being the realest ever with each other like] Janis: [a good jump off point] Jimmy: [leave them alone and mind your business bitch literally why are you so bothered] Janis: [never known love, never known life] Janis: how many restraining orders you reckon her da has found loopholes in, like? Janis: [whatever extraness on Mia's socials] Jimmy: Fuck's sake Janis: yeah Janis: she must've left in a strop a while ago 'cos grace is stomping around here solo, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: thoughts and prayers Jimmy: Hang on, let me start a gofundme to buy poor Gracie a new bestie Jimmy: 🧸 still in my bad books Janis: well, s'a hard sell so Janis: 🍀 to you Jimmy: Oh come on 🥇 optimist at work here Janis: call it clueless Janis: but love that for you Janis: luxury money can't buy Jimmy: Oi, be nice to me Janis: I am Janis: it's endearing Janis: only jealous, like Jimmy: Suspicious Jimmy: my undercover 👮🚔 senses are going Janis: Why? Janis: no case to crack here Janis: open book, me Jimmy: that's what a closed book would say Jimmy: got my 👀 on you, baby Janis: 😏 Janis: that's what a 45 year old perv would say Janis: nothing to hide, keep on 👀 Jimmy: Alright then Janis: you not on the bus? Janis: don't have to hide in the bushes w the binoculars Jimmy: I don't have time to spy on you 🚌👵💕 Jimmy: 👀 for another, tah Janis: 💔 Janis: move so fast Jimmy: told you I could keep up with you in the gym Janis: not gonna be your gym buddy now though 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have a new 🚿 buddy in a bit Jimmy: those non slip surfaces and grab rails 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: it's a date and a party Janis: 😡 Janis: hope she breaks a hip xoxo Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: in good hands, her Janis: be nice to me too Jimmy: If I start Janis: ? Jimmy: I'll want you to get on this bus with me Janis: same Janis: they're being ridiculously OTT Jimmy: bit rude when that's my job Janis: I'll let 'em know Janis: dead curious, like 🙄 Jimmy: tell them I ain't done a shift of my other, raring to go, me Jimmy: such a strong worth ethic Jimmy: work* Janis: you want 'em to like you Janis: 😎 boy for life Jimmy: I want you to know I like you Jimmy: where OTT comes in Janis: I want that too Janis: no 🙄 needed Jimmy: Come back then Janis: I will Janis: when they shut up and give me a second alone Jimmy: How much trouble will you be in? Janis: not enough that I care Janis: unless they plan to actually lock me in my room, they know I won't stick around anyway, pretend to the contrary if they want Jimmy: Did you just quote me? Janis: didn't check if I got it verbatim but Jimmy: 💕 Janis: shut up 💘 Jimmy: you can't tell me to shut up when you're having my words come out of your mouth Janis: you know I say 'em nicer Jimmy: bollocks you love my accent Janis: just like it when you actually talk, babe Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: What do you wanna hear? Janis: How much you like me Janis: and how you're gonna show me Jimmy: [a voice memo thing going into far too much detail considering he is either on the bus or waiting for one] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: remind me why you aren't here again Jimmy: 'cause you're coming to me Jimmy: soon as Janis: yeah Janis: and I can stay Janis: 'til Ian shows again, yeah? Jimmy: even when he does Jimmy: I said, not kicking you out Janis: good Janis: 'cos don't wanna go unless we go together Janis: 💀🤞 Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: got that in writing now Janis: love a contract, you Jimmy: #middle aged man kinks Janis: 😂 Janis: it's alright, you got stamina, for an old guy Jimmy: reword that tweet a bit before you hit send probably Janis: not gonna blow your cover Janis: bit late for the blow-by-blow account anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: in a stunning turn of events, gracie is helping me for some reason so should be able to get out of here sooner than anticipated Jimmy: very funny Janis: funny weird, yeah Janis: already ordered a lift so Jimmy: Hang on, you ain't joking? Janis: unless she is Janis: see in 5 Jimmy: unless she kills you Jimmy: still see you though 👻💕 Janis: counterproductive if that's what they're all claiming to be so upset about Janis: funny though Janis: she'd get shanked so fast in prison Jimmy: Might not, had loads of practice being Mia's bitch Janis: assume that's where she's running herself Jimmy: how romantic Jimmy: tell her not to, we don't need the competition Janis: absolutely not Jimmy: You won't have a convo with her or you won't tolerate them as an IT couple? Janis: 1. I'm not trying to help her ever Janis: 2. they're both in love with me Janis: 3. we're 🥇 and don't ever imply less Jimmy: So forceful you Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: sort it out, honestly 😏 Jimmy: if you get to mine before me, you'll have to Jimmy: skipped the honeymoon and went straight to kids and a dog Janis: that's a point Janis: evidently YOUR honeymoon is over 'cos waited for you to get on that bus, like Janis: plan worked 💕🙌 Jimmy: never a bad plan, you Janis: n'awh Janis: don't worry, know how to do oven chips, I can sort it Jimmy: so does Cass, she's 12 not 2 Janis: excuse me, you want me to muck in or nah Jimmy: No, I don't want you to Jimmy: that's why I said you might have to Jimmy: under duress, same as me Janis: well I'm used to that Janis: no worries Jimmy: Ruining the fantasy a bit there, rich girl Janis: you can do better Jimmy: Obviously Janis: and you'll have plenty of time after the bedtime routine Jimmy: Not if our kid has owt to do with it but I'll make time for you Janis: can't stay awake long as I can Janis: 💪 Jimmy: I'll give you the 🏆 when I wake up then Janis: talking 'bout outlasting the kid but if you're 😪 already baby Jimmy: been tired since before I met you Jimmy: worst kept secret in my new boy mystery set Janis: poor boy Janis: I'll help you sleep, trust Jimmy: What's your singing voice like? Fed up of 🎻🎻🎻 me Janis: don't reckon I'm winning any 🏆 but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how do you do it then Jimmy: What? Janis: the whole having self-control thing Janis: 'cos when I see you I'll just wanna Jimmy: The clue's in the first bit Jimmy: it ain't about me Jimmy: what I wanna do Jimmy: I ain't got no self control, just Jimmy: shit in my way Janis: hmm Janis: makes sense Janis: all your habits, like 🚬 Jimmy: got plenty of self destruction, yeah Jimmy: nowt in the way of that Janis: I'll drink to that Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: There's no scotch but you can have owt else that he or I've not Janis: such a good host Jimmy: Do you have 🚬? Janis: nah but I'll go shop Janis: give you chance to get here Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: How do you do this? Janis: ? Jimmy: it's the longest 🚌 ride I've ever been on 😱😱 Jimmy: you really live in the middle of nowt, girl Janis: you were warned Janis: hoping it'll keep us in, hasn't really worked Jimmy: actually gonna have to move you in Jimmy: don't even like you it's just jealousy that you get to spend so much time with hot drivers like this bloke Jimmy: and the 👵👴 on board every time Janis: honestly, prime hunting ground for you Janis: it's probably trevor Janis: be more jealous, I know 'em all by name Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Why you trying to make me get banned for 🥊? Jimmy: even if I won't need to visit you here 💀👑 and  the rest of the #squad will want me to show up Janis: 1. you're jealous of me for seeing them, not the other way 'round, remember Janis: 2. just really want an excuse to steal another car Janis: 3. gonna make a habit of giving them what they want? Jimmy: 1. that's obvs all a blur 'cause I'm too fuming to think clearly now Jimmy: 2. I didn't steal the 1st one so I don't reckon you can say another Jimmy: 3. Depends Janis: 1. Me too now, see 3 Janis: 2. you don't know how far I got, pisshead Janis: 3. 😒 Jimmy: What's that face for? Jimmy: You dunno what it depends on yet, mardy Janis: I know I don't like it either way Janis: but fine, what? Jimmy: I was just Jimmy: but nah it's alright, you don't wanna know Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😒😒 Janis: [imagine she's done them huge like on facebook] Janis: well tell me Jimmy: If they still want me to break up with you, I might Jimmy: to cut out all the fake shit between us Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Janis: who told you you were allowed to be so Jimmy: ? Janis: idk the right word Janis: cute just sounds fake Jimmy: I know what you mean Janis: alright, bighead 😏 Jimmy: Piss off, I meant about sounding fake Jimmy: that's why I reckon breaking up and just seeing each other when we want, how we want, is the best plan Janis: makes sense Janis: anything we were gonna achieve with it, we have by now so Janis: can just ghost 'em, like Janis: not like we have to make an annoucement, they'll do the rest themselves Jimmy: school might be weird, being exes, that's the only thing Janis: yeah Janis: not really an alternative though, is there? Jimmy: Be easier to fake 💔 than 💕 probably Jimmy: not like we have every lesson together anyway Janis: and school is shit anyway so Jimmy: If you want a day off from pretending to hate me, we'll skip Janis: why do I need to hate you Jimmy: We were so in love and now we ain't #duh Jimmy: every dickhead knows you can't be friends with your ex Jimmy: unless you want them to think you're a lesbian again, like Janis: if it's the only option we've got then it is Jimmy: You don't reckon it's a good one? Janis: nah Janis: but there ain't a good one Janis: not your fault, like Jimmy: Fake 💔 or fake 💕 then? Janis: 💔 why not Janis: may as well, change of scenery Jimmy: I get it 😒 is easier than 😍 for me an' all Janis: 👌 Jimmy: sorted then Janis: yep Jimmy: [shows her a doodle he's done of them while he's stuck on this bus like okay boy your 😍 are showing here] Janis: you still got time to post that or what Jimmy: Do I? Janis: your plan Jimmy: I'm not gonna 💔 til you wanna though Janis: what are we waiting for Jimmy: Alright I'll delete now Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Owt you want off my phone you can sort in a bit Janis: don't need to Jimmy: bit rude Janis: why Jimmy: Oi, a 🥇 photographer, me Janis: don't actually need a portfolio Janis: tah Jimmy: Fine Janis: don't fancy it, posting the 🚬 through your letterbox ok Jimmy: No, there's nowt okay about that Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: what are you Janis: something's come up Jimmy: What has? Janis: does it matter? Janis: just need to go Jimmy: Why wouldn't that matter? Janis: don't be awkward Jimmy: you Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: Nothing Janis: but this plan won't just happen by itself either Janis: things I need to sort now Jimmy: Not what you said before Jimmy: you said we didn't have to do nowt Jimmy: that they'd work it out Janis: about figuring it out Janis: I'm talking about the fallout Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: well do you really wanna mope around and pretend to be 💔 Janis: actual 💔 Janis: that's the rep you want? think about it Janis: just means more faking, only with other people Jimmy: I'm not gonna get another fake girlfriend if that's what you're saying Janis: not saying you repeat this scheme Janis: but gotta be seen to be moving on, yeah Jimmy: No Janis: alright for you, isn't it Janis: who do you think they'll reckon dumped who Jimmy: You can dump me, I don't care what they think Janis: still fake, ain't it Janis: whatever way we play it Jimmy: Yeah but Jimmy: we can be real with each other Janis: I fucking hate it Janis: that it matters Jimmy: That's why I'm trying to give us a chance to start over Jimmy: Alright, we might have to give them one last show but after that whenever I see you or say owt it's real Janis: Is it though Jimmy: Why wouldn't it be? Janis: if you're trying to not see me again for real, just do that Janis: don't headfuck me Jimmy: You're the one who has come all this way to decide you don't fancy it Janis: it's you that keeps talking about hating and avoiding and all that shit Janis: how am I meant to take that Jimmy: If you don't fancy me anymore because fucking me weren't like you thought it were gonna be then alright Jimmy: but don't talk bollocks Jimmy: You know I wanna see you Janis: No Janis: it isn't that Janis: but no, I don't know that either Janis: feel like I don't know fuck all these days Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I didn't wanna go, you have to know that, you were there Jimmy: and I wouldn't bring you here where I don't wanna fucking be if I didn't REALLY want to see you Janis: I'm Janis: stupid Janis: sorry Janis: take your pick Jimmy: just Jimmy: come back Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: it does if I've made it weirder than I already felt Jimmy: what can be weirder than not being fake with your fake girlfriend? Jimmy: I don't care, alright Janis: you thought it was weird Jimmy: What? No Jimmy: I mean actually telling you how I feel is weird Janis: oh Janis: well, agreed Jimmy: Agreeing is weird an' all, isn't it? Janis: can't take the other side and pretend this is standard for me, soz Jimmy: be weirder if it were Jimmy: You reckon I've got some fucked habits but that'd be Janis: don't be mad 'cos you're my 5th fake boyfriend, alright Janis: judgey Jimmy: That ain't funny or cute Jimmy: Shut up Janis: obviously not Janis: you approached me Janis: not doing that kinda suggestability voodoo Jimmy: OMG 🤐 Janis: yeah, think on Janis: was a pretty out of character thing to do, no? Jimmy: Paddy girls are pretty full on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: there's nowt you can say Janis: not lumping myself in with that lot Janis: and you Jimmy: neither were I Jimmy: never have done Janis: ❄ Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: such a dick, you were Jimmy: Nah, I am Jimmy: no need to past tense it Janis: just specifying the time Jimmy: Alright, so don't forget to add I will be such a dick too then Jimmy: for the future Janis: if I'm about, I'll be sure to let you know Jimmy: 💔 you won't be able to @ me Jimmy: but wherever Ian drags us next somebody'll say it to my face, no doubt Janis: of course, you are a dick, after-all Jimmy: and yet still properly sought after Jimmy: a brainer lad would've planned that Janis: enough room for a proper beefy 🧠 in that massive head Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 that it's empty then Jimmy: well nearly Janis: poor boy Jimmy: I'll live, babe Jimmy: 🧟💕 Janis: now it's my turn to be 💔 Jimmy: Go on and have a 🎻 too then Jimmy: might as well Janis: can't even be 😍 over how generous you are Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos you said from now on we're only saying real things Jimmy: and you shot down the 💡 in 🔥 Janis: no I didn't Janis: you didn't explain properly Jimmy: You don't wanna say real things to me Janis: where'd you get that idea from Jimmy: call it 👮🚔 senses Jimmy: or that you're well quick to not understand what I've said 'cause like I said 😒 is easier Janis: or maybe it's a weird situation that's hard to understand Janis: which we agreed on Janis: if 😒 was easier I would've thought it was the best idea ever Jimmy: Alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: so what are you saying Jimmy: nowt Janis: fuck off Janis: you reckon I can't handle real then Jimmy: You did, I were there Janis: so why are you saying I don't want it then Jimmy: No 🧠 Janis: ugh Janis: alright Jimmy: It just feels like Jimmy: you don't want any of this now Janis: that's not true Janis: why do you Janis: nah Jimmy: Go on Janis: it's Janis: like why would I have freaked out back there if I didn't want it Janis: when I thought you didn't Janis: not keeping you around as a sure thing when I don't give a fuck, am I Jimmy: I can't say how long I'll be around here anyway, you either so Jimmy: don't worry about it Jimmy: I'm just being Janis: don't mean we can't now Janis: does it Janis: every fucker else does, not like they have any more guarantee Jimmy: Not a habit of mine to leave 💔 lasses behind me Janis: behave Jimmy: I don't want to, had to for ages when you were only giving me fake 💕 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me that Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah but the 💔 has always been fake, what I'm saying Janis: don't need to think about that Jimmy: Good 'cause as far as 💭 I can do better Janis: go on then Jimmy: [the most 🔥 sext of all time obvs] Janis: can I come back Janis: please Jimmy: I said Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: just checking Jimmy: where are you? Janis: not far Janis: well a bit but not out of town far Jimmy: 🏃? Janis: if that's you, then no, think of your lungs Jimmy: not the bit of me I'm thinking with and I'm only thinking of you, not me but alright Jimmy: if you can't handle another race Janis: now I'm with ya Janis: 'course I'M gonna run Janis: but the incentive is appreciated Jimmy: I'll appreciate you better than that Janis: you better Janis: i've missed you Jimmy: 🥇 baby, you'll see Jimmy: it feels like ages since I left Jimmy: it's been ages but you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: like actual time as passed and not a day Janis: it's always been a bit like that with you Janis: weird Jimmy: but you were still always gone before I was ready for you to be Jimmy: weirder Janis: felt it too Janis: weirdest Jimmy: I Janis: yeah? Jimmy: just Jimmy: it is a mess but Jimmy: I'm glad I did ask you Jimmy: nowt else could've happened if not Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: You reckon I'm wrong? Jimmy: somehow don't picture you hanging round the CG like your twin Jimmy: obviously I could have caught you in the gym 🏆💪 but unlikely you'd be chatty then, sore loser you are Janis: ha x2 Janis: 😏 Janis: we do go to the same school, you know Jimmy: Were you gonna offer to help me with my homework or what? Janis: not porn Janis: and I'm not some bitch with pigtails and a plaid mini skirt, like Jimmy: not with that attitude Janis: 😂 Jimmy: and I've seen you in your uniform, like Jimmy: not that far off Janis: you're such an idiot Janis: but you did know then, that's good Jimmy: Know what, that you're really fit? Obviously Janis: that we were at the same school before the fateful trip Jimmy: I get that I hide them well but I've got 👀 Jimmy: I saw you, like I said Janis: and obviously I couldn't miss the welcome party so Janis: 👀 likewise Jimmy: Am I ever gonna see you today or did you get lost? Janis: I'm on my way Janis: I'm fast, works in and out of your favour, I'm afraid Janis: depends which way I'm 🏃 Jimmy: Tah for not being well fast at everything then Jimmy: be over before I did my best tricks Jimmy: and you'd be asleep like half that bus were Janis: 💔 get used to not having an audience fast Janis: and benefits of not being a lad, just go again Jimmy: can't if you're 💀💀💀 Jimmy: get me arrested that Janis: promises promises Jimmy: which you know you can hold me to Jimmy: unless your memory loss is back Janis: no but Janis: stop distracting me if you want me to get there any time soon Jimmy: Baby, I've seen you multitask Jimmy: come on Jimmy: can do so many things at once you Janis: I wanna save it for you Janis: you turned me on so it's yours Jimmy: I'm going nowhere yet but the kids and dog are Jimmy: this whole house is yours, just need to get to it Janis: serious? Jimmy: Deadly, as usual Janis: Good thing I'm only a couple streets away then Janis: hold on Jimmy: Surviving somehow Janis: 'cos you can't 💀💀💀 without me Jimmy: keep my promises, yeah, that kind of dickhead Janis: I like that kind of dickhead Jimmy: Shakespeare's got nowt on you, girl Jimmy: you better only be a couple of streets away Jimmy: don't be saying shit like that to me if I can't respond immediately Janis: [rings doorbell] Jimmy: [thank god he sent everyone away because we know what kind of hello she's getting] Janis: [lol if someone else answered that would've been very awkward for us all] Jimmy: [likewise if Twix got there before him] Janis: [distracted with food probably] Jimmy: [it's alright she can be gone too on a walk or wherever] Janis: [my boo say everyone out] Jimmy: [give them their privacy please they've had enough audiences]

[dclly]

     hello friends !! it’s ya gal moose (she/her, 21, cst) & i’m finally home from work bless!!! i’m just ur local…..run of the mill bug-loving canadian. this intro is gna be messa af but…it be like that sometimes. i am so very thirsty so pls if u wanna plot just hmu or like this and i’ll come to u! u can also catch me on d*scord @ bug lady 🦗#8530 if u prefer that!

     pls be advised that there are mentions of: trauma, sexual assault, ed, drug use & addiction below!

     #KRISTINE FROSETH | CISFEMALE | SHE/HER | BISEXUAL - DOROTHY LINDVIG is a TWENTY-ONE year old ICE SKATING INSTRUCTOR that moved into apartment A2 a good TWO YEARS ago. the AQUARIUS has been in town for TWENTY-ONE YEARS overall and is well known around seattle ridge for being +VIVACIOUS +CLEVER, but has a reputation of being -ALOOF and -FACETIOUS. guess that’s why they call them the AMARANTH around these parts! (moose, 21, she/her, cst.)

ok so !!!! first thing’s first, she usually goes by the nickname dolly. but she doesn’t care too much abt what u call her u can call her fuckass and she’d just be like what’s up

she’s a town native !!! grew up in a shitty area w a kind of shitty family. parents were never around, always off on benders or just….generally bein shitty parents. dolly & her older brother had to learn how to take care of themselves when they were pretty young and they’ve always done just fine. they didn’t have a lot of money so dolly got pretty good at playing up the cute lil girl role and getting free stuff out of ppl

as much as she claims she relies only on herself, she also relies heavily on the kindness of strangers bc without them she definitely would have gone hungry for real

in order to stay away from her house as much as possible she would hang out at the skating rink as a kid & eventually after stealing a pair of skates from the lost & found she taught herself how to skate & eventually figure skate as well. she’s always wanted to go pro but…..obviously couldn’t afford the training or put in any of the effort required to go all the way.

her brother used to throw pretty big ragers in their place when their parents were gone so……she started drinking & doing drugs at a pretty young age & just generally hanging out with ppl who were much older than her & v bad influences.

trauma tw & sexual assault tw !! it was at one of these parties that she had a traumatic assault experience w one of her brother’s friends when she was a teenager. to this day, she still hasn’t told anyone about what happened. it happened on more than one occasion and her brother is still friends w this boy so she just…..does her best to avoid him & pretend that nothing ever happened bc she refuses to acknowledge her trauma

she was pretty popular in school but never rly felt like she had any true friends ??? none of her relationships were all that deep and she mostly just hung out with people to get free stuff LMAO and like rides places i guess

but she does have her lil group of friends that she truly cares abt and when she actually cares abt u…….she’s around for LIFE u cant get rid of her sorry

she got emancipated when she was 16 and has been living on her own ever since. at first she’d would just stay at friend’s houses and sleep on their couches, but that stopped when she finally got a job at the skating rink teaching kids how to skate & got a new place to live. she’s been chillin working there and living in the apartment building for a couple of years now

definitely has had……many sugar daddy-type relationships in the past bc she would much rather have money handed to her u know

that is…..a v brief outline of her life up until this point but imma talk a bit abt her personality now

she is…..very magnetic tbH. knows how to draw in a group and keep them interested

knows how to bat her eyelashes and flirt if it means she’ll get something out of it

she’s kind of mean, kind of not ??? she is v moody a lot of the time tbh like it’s either hit or miss with her. sometimes she’ll be in the mood to have a big long chat and in a split second she’ll be telling u to fuck off

likes to know everyone else’s drama but doesn’t like having drama of her own

kind of does her own thing ???? marches to the beat of her own drum. doesn’t rly follow any rules. she’s just out here

does most things out of spite. even if she doesn’t want to do something, if someone tells her she cant do something she’s gna do it no matter what

very animated and lively. the type to dance in the middle of the grocery store if a song she likes is playing

also the type to dance on tables at the club

doesn’t rly care what ppl think about her but…..does at the same time ??? if ur important to her she cares deeply abt ur opinion but if not……..she doesn’t give a FUCK

she always has to keep herself busy or else she’ll lose her mind :))))

will do…….literally anything to get something for free ??? doesn’t matter what it is or who u are. she can HATE u but…..she will still give u head behind the 7/11 for a free slurpee u know :/

i wouldn’t say she’s hypersexual but she is highly sexual thx to her trauma !!!

she is friendly yet distant at the same time so like……while she will happily talk to u and hang out with u and whatever she avoids deep conversation topics ig ??? she always finds a way to leave or change the subject when it gets serious or make a joke out of things bc she can’t………talk abt stuff ajsdfjkgdjgk

a very witty & clever girl. she’s v smart and would have done well in school had she had a slightly better life & didn’t have to worry abt whether or not she would starve

some extra tidbits abt her !!!

a good portion of her clothing is vintage/thrifted. she would describe her aesthetic as a 70s teenage boy’s wet dream. shoes are her fave & she’s always wearing some funky type of boot or platform shoe

just a real fashion bitch !!!!

catch her online shopping at almost any given moment

mental breakdown haircuts at 2am are her Mood

she loves going to cute lil vintage diners & drinkin a cherry coke 4 the aesthetic u know

can’t keep a relationship to save her life. will date someone and put herself FULLY into the relationship but…….will either get bored or cheat on them or put them up on a pedestal so it’s destined to fail after one lil mistake or do something to fuck it up 

she is a self-sabotager like that bc she doesn’t believe she’s deserving of love or any good things really :///

smokes too many cigarettes

drug use & addiction tw !! smokes a lot of weed as well. catch ya girl doing fat bong rips all day long. also does a lot of cocaine. has a coke addiction, in fact. also catch her running away to the bathroom for a bump 12 times a day. she rly just…..doesn’t like being sober, she tryna run away from shit

her fave colour is red

she has a cat named freddie who she adores more than anything else on the planet

likes to play poker & gamble

will literally try anything once

hates herself & is rotting inside!!!!!!!!!!!!

eating disorder tw !! another symptom from her trauma is the eating disorder she developed as a teen. food is…..one of her few things in life she can fully control so she controls it a Lot. 

just wants to have fun and forget abt how disgusting she feels on a daily basis & how much she hates herself :))))))))))

generally just………….a messy bitch

this is……a LOT. i don’t have a full wc page or anything atm but here are some lil connection ideas for her!!

friends !! ppl that don’t actually know her all that well but she pretends they do anyway

perhaps………………a best friend……….

exes !! ya girl puts her whole entire being into relationships even tho she runs away from them right after bc self sabotage ???? so she prob isn’t on good terms with any of her exes but……she’s my bi queen so this is open to anybody!!!! would prob b really angsty which is grand

a drug dealer perhaps??

party buddies, drinking buddies, w/e. bad influences. let them influence each other to be Worse

previous fwbs & hookups, that kinda thing, she prob has a lot

maybe someone she cheated on a partner with ??? for Drama

or like….someone who’s relationship she fucked up idk

maybe someone who has a crush on her or something & she’s like…….pls don’t what r u doing……..gotta Jet

a good influence??? someone please help her.

idK i want angst & cute fluffy stuff so just everything is good rly

tbh i will prob do an actual wc page at some point but here is what i have for now

this was a lot i am sorry. bless u for reading this far thank u. 

[milkway]

🐰 🐹 🌠 ☀️ 🌟 🐾 🎵 ⚡️ 💛 🌺 💥 😊 😔 🐧 💫 🎀 🎬? Sorry if that's a lot sfhsghs it was. a long list

oh fuck read more time!!

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

my lactose intolerance might be kicking in slowly and im kinda ridiculously sad about it hjgDJH

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

pichu/pikachu bc my pals have associated me with em, buizel and shinx lines bc theyve always been my sinnoh mvps, eelektross and galvantula bc i love their designs sm... flygon is my all time fave just cause!! i love the design and typing...i love shieldon bc it was my fav partner in pkmn ranger shadows of almia! and i rly love dodrio it was such a surprise powerful pkmn in my xy plathrough i love this cerberus bird

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully more fair, kinder, cleaner and not destroyed by global warmning lol

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont feel like i gotta pretend to be something im not around the two of them! i can always be honest and not feel embarassed and thats sth i rly appreciate. also theyre both just really kind and cool and good

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

uhhh i like how i keep pursuing art despite life getting in the way, i like my hair and i like that im good at math

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

getting my degree and applying to jobs? ill just have to buckle down and get over it lol but rsd is a fuck and i feel like any failure would be crushing to me

also being in a relationship and i will overcome it by not getting into one ! i dont think its for me

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

nobody else will be there - the national / old town road - lil nas x / bridge burning - foo fighters / dustbusters - delta sleep / head on - *repeat repeat

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

shapeshifting, that nb dream..................maybe communicating with animals bc..i love animals lol

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

u can come out to ur friends and they wont beat u up, promise. also it gets better! itll keep getting better

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

fluent in polish, pretty much fluent in english, basic german and basic japanese. im taking japanese in uni so hopefully i will continue to learn that but id also love to know swedish and maybe italian!

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

oh man idk. i dont think communism is all that great but im polish so that might be like Wildly affecting my view of it lol. communist regimes are Still a thing too so, its just hard for me to subscribe to that fully. even if the ideology itself is great and would be great were it to work in practice

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

drawing! any sort of art rly! not much else atm.. hope i can pick up sth computer sciency since thats my field in uni currently.. or embroidery! or trying to make tunes or games or smth!!!

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i go through some funney mindless lps i can remember at the time and just watch those, maybe do sth related to current Big Interest, draw until i feel better. when its rly bad i force myself to take a full body shower and brush my teeth, even if rly rly do not have the spoons for it. it doesnt always help but keeps me from breaking down usually

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

just a milk

💫 who inspires you?

my friends!

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

i like casual/lowkey sporty fashion. my wardrobe does not reflect it currently but i hope to change that bit by bit

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

big eden (watch big eden), jordan peele’s us, into the spiderverse, treasure planet, tekkon kinkreet, paprika, akira, mulan, coraline, paranorman

prompts

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Montenegro to Eurovision with 6 young souls

(this is a pre-vamp review so take this whole thing as “something I wanted to publish but my schedule was withholding until it was specifically time for them to be reviewed”, therefore, this is a bit of a retrospective review. Will tackle on its revamp later!)

Montevizija, which finally has an official Twitter account (we all should forget the times some dude named Vasilije pretended to having made one), offered us another batch of 5 songs for another year, actually revealing all of them beforehand this time and not just the snippets! Joy to the world I guess.

You gotta love Montevizija for it being the most underrated ex-Yugoslavian national final btw. Granted, it only lasted for 2 editions as of now, and it will take years to grow bigger as a thing, but so far, for us the NFs that are ingrained to our brains more are Dora, EMA and Beovizija (and even Skopje Fest when THAT was used to pick an act and not just served as a festival like it originally was meant to be), therefore Montevizija seems more shunned. But what do you expect when the lineup of 5 for two years in a row is not exactly as stellar as hoped for? Well, there are gems here and there, but they haven’t really won on either years (or at least not on the 2nd year if you call Vanja’s song a gem too), and yet somehow they find someone who call them great. But for me this Montenegrin entry is not. :L

And who is up there to be colossally blamed for its existence? None other than this group of 6 refering to themselves as D mol (with “mol” decapitalized for whatever reason... they used to have hyphen separating the ‘D’ and ‘mol’, but now they scrapped it altogether, an anime death I’ll never forget). Worth noting that I, as a 19 year old, have this particularly ugly feeling I must get rid of, and that’s the one of “feeling old”, already at my age. And this is how I felt seeing that the band whose song I am not fond of today is made up by members that are of 16-17 to 21-ish years old!!! So my heart insists that I shouldn’t go too hard on these poor younglings, even if this is just me, currently tackling the brethren of my age. Prepare as I’ll go to shred their composition they’re going to Tel Aviv with, “Heaven”, to bits.

Although, what I call “shredding to bits” is merely just nitpicking the reasons the original version (keep bearing in mind that I haven’t heard the revamp yet) sucks imo, and idk, the new “Heaven” miiiiiiight just grow on me, but I heavily doubt about it because I never cared for it in the first place (youhouuu, they were my last in Montevizija ‘19 for a reason), and I’m rather looking forward for the new faves from the 8 songs I haven’t listened to yet rather than those that were already chosen. And even the Eurofans were not quite fond on the revamp, as some think the additional ethno sounds made it sound worse (and of course there are some that kinda like it or think of the song as their guilty pleasure). So why shouldn’t I? :O

Anyway, old “Heaven”. The first sounds on here to grace my ears on this song consist of one light piano note being tapped to an exact rhythm and a confused baby girl stuttering. And I’d’ve maybe enjoyed this more ironically at some point if it weren’t for the latter sound effect being re(ab)used later in the song!! Ugh I hate it. The lyrics are fine I guess... though isn’t it ironic the only English song in Montevizija’s lineup this year won?? It’s like the Montenegrin people were openly cringing when being the only ones to understand Vanja comparing his life to cat’s and mouse’s and calling his heart “the most expensive toy” in his song and then they were like “you know what? Let’s let the WHOLE Europe understand how terrible our lyrics are! ^_^” (no but for real, who still uses “I’m in heaven, falling straight into your heart” as a pick-up line? Did they travel through time from 1998 to 2019 or something???)

Speaking of the 90s, the whole song smells like a dated cliché of that period. You know, the kind of “the high school prom song from that 90s teen sitcom’s who you’re forced to watch when your elderly aunt is in the house with you and there’s nothing else on TV” dated. Dated even more than “Chain of Lights”. Seriously though! It includes the pathetic “wah wah” bassline, mid-tempo beats, the boy/girl-group harmonies... catch me puking sugar-coated cheese to this, no thanks. Oh and if you already read my “Zero Gravity” review (which you probably never even bothered to after seeing how much text would you have to read), I definitely mentioned that I’m not a fan of those “two verses-two choruses” songs, and especially those kind of ones that aren’t sounding like something suited for radio (e.g.: Poland 2018, “Light Me Up”)... this obviously sounds like something from the radio of the times the at-the-time senior highschoolers are currently over 30 or slightly over 40, and that should be 4 and a half minutes long. These verses could just not be more ridiculously dragged out for the choruses to prevail and get stuck in our brains... fucking welp [sic] me already.

Well, if there are any brownie points I could give this, it’s pleasant, it’s harmless if I don’t take into account the cheese vibes this emits, and all this bunch are made up by up-and-coming talented singers that clearly deserved a better song...

And the staging concept in their NF was cool tho (illustrating their power of D mol), and I applaud the couple chemistry I guess

Oh and this below is one of the most underappreciated memes this Euroseason:

*stares into your soul in Montenegrin*

So yeah. Oh and the Rizo(tto) guy who is self-aware of his hotness and the hotness of the much older Eurovision guys this year, but he’s not doing it for me so that I could be in heaven falling, so he’s getting a hard pass.

All in all - a nostalgia cash-in made to appease the housewives from Podgorica to Skopje, from Novi Sad to Štúrovo, and nothing quite else, sung by a cool bunch of people that if anything are deemed this year’s "great people with an unfortunately too dated song and a shitty draw” by me. I don’t know much of their personalities but I do believe that even if they like what they’re singing, they’d be much better off doing a better sounding throwback, at least. So that even the disappointed-by-”Heaven” Eurofans could at least call it “so dated but a BOP!”. And hey, I’m aware of those fans that will likely be pissed at me for not bopping along to this, but I said what I said about it and yet again, if revamp changes my mind, I will change my opinion, but right now I’d not prefer to. Grumpy Adio.

Approval factor: Hell with the no. I would like Vanja back instead. At least he made himself a somebody to be cared about even if the Eurofans didn’t quite adapt to his song in return.

Follow-up factor: somehow, both “Inje” and “Heaven” were/are seen by the masses as instant NQs, so it somehow doesn’t sound like Montenegro is following a great path so far. And after this year anything that audience favours and wins can be seen as a way better follow up after something meh coming after something wrose.

Qualification factor: For the n-th time, I’m yet to check the revamp out to state where this will actually go, but being put 2nd in the draw is a massive stab in the knee, as demonstrated by even the national finals this year (Electric Fields in Australia Decides, Aly Ryan in Unser Lied für Israel, Lisa Ajax in Melodifestivalen final... the only glaring exception is ZENA in Eurofest but is it me or these producers did this just so they could be all like “heeeey we put a winning song on 2nd just to show that a NF song can win from ANY draw! ANY DRAW!!!” lol nope), and from it only a few lucky souls have crawled out victorious (Nathan Trent for example, the draw might have pushed him down in the semi but he got up again!). D mol, for as young and developing in talent as they are, don’t seem to be such. You can be young and pitied for your personality, but you always can at the same time have a song that completely crushes your chances to do well and sweeps up the last shards of hope right in front of your eyes despite being an angel worthy of protection (Ari Ólafsson, anyone?). Unless the D molians work all their magic and the random ethnic vibes into their favour for some reason, but for now it ain’t gonna work.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

And even then, what was so interesting about Montevizija 2019?? Let’s see...

• First off, let’s address one meme of the beginning of 2019 that Facebook may or may have not used purposefully to upgrade their automatic “facial recognition” skills - the 10 years challenge. Our first one of this season is the sassy maneater who spent her ESC stint by trying to unlove a guy so hard that he just couldn’t oblige - Andrea Demirović. Her decade-later A-game happened to be this one song she sang in her mother-tongue: “Ja sam ti san” (I am your dream). Now, I wasn’t particularly into it - I enjoy some electro tracks out there (like hello, “Igranka” is one of my favourite Montenegrin entries, and 2013 entries overall as well) but this one just ended up being the right amount of cool AND overbearingly unsettling for me to not really fancy it. Kinda like “Red” by HyunA - I can only bop to this if I don’t care about the fact I actually hate it, oops. (Or maybe it is just because Andrea once again used a composition done by one of those “rent-a-NF-songwriter” people. Which is at least better than collabing Ralph Siegel who’s stopped being relevant ever since starting to work with San Marino, or even since the hilarious attempt of a peace song sung by the original common framework, six4One. But since Michael James Down has co-contributed to one of the better Montevizija songs last year, I will not allow myself to think it’s thanks to those kind of songwriters.) Nevertheless, the Eurofans actualy kind of loved this song, but sadly, Montenegrins and the international jury did quite not, and she didn’t land on to the superfinal 2 (as opposed to a superfinal 3 last year, to which she could have easily qualified if it still were a 3). Here’s her song to y’all anyways (and the performance too, which just needed to include some random monster dudes dancing around... why? Because Eurovision! ^^):

• Speaking of Andrea, during the results part there was this one shot of hers where she was pictured just casually chilling on her phone, not giving a damn that she’s being underrated on the scoreboard. Not only she was badly rated, but this moment was such an universal #mood!

• In between the finally final results announcement (which I didn’t really know when exactly was it taking place because the winner wasn’t really said out loud before the event I will describe next was taking place??) there was this lottery going on of who would be the lucky two audience observers that’d win tickets to Tel Aviv... hilariously enough though, it somehow malfunctioned and there were some sort of errors regarding the announcement of the RIGHT winner <3 but the winners happened and I hope they’re getting to go to Tel Aviv at some point during the Eurovision events! Hope they don’t feel startled by the lack of taken seats this year.

• Unlike Eesti Laul, Montevizija this year took up the job of showcasing tweets of Eurofans, and somehow this fellow fella ended up seen by a handful of Montenegrins AND international viewers. Take a wild guess which of them know what a daddy Serhat is.

• And who could not forget the magic flying envelope for to announce the winner of the NF:

there must have been some Harry Potter magic in there :O

As for what touches the other songs, well there’s the last year’s fan fave Nina Petković with another song, but it’s no “Dišem”, so don’t even bother. Or bother, but imo it’s just okay-sounding, nothing that groundbreaking or pleasant enough to be competitive. The other few songs were also nice but I’d like not to make this longer as my other write-ups, to be fair. Sucked to be Mr. Kállay-Saunders who, as the international juror chosen for this national final, had to rank its songs... as that NF happened right on the same day his second A Dal 2019 performance was taking off. Not that the international jurors were supposed to be present in Montenegro on the day of this NF, anyways...

Anyway, despite all this goddamn criticism (that could’ve flown more smooth had my computer not restarted in the middle of me doing paragraphs for this review), I’m fare welling the D mol-ians and would like to wish them a heavenly Eurovision experience. ^_^

[dcrothy]

hello friends !! it’s ya hoe moose (she/her) & i’m 21 and chillin over in the cst. i’m jazzed af to join this lovely group and rp with u all !! my gal dorothy here is a semi-new muse & i’m still working some stuff out with her but.....hopefully u like her anyway lmaooo. i would love love love to plot with u all so feel free to HMU or just LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !! if you prefer to chat on discord just hmu on there instead, that’s chill with me. also bc i am such a.....pinterest hoe u can catch her board HERE !! more info abt her under the cut of course~

[ kristine froseth, cisfemale, she/her, 20 ] GINGER by THE FRONT BOTTOMS? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of DOROTHY LINDVIG. maybe because they’re VIVACIOUS but also ALOOF. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since AUGUST of 2016 in 410 and have 1 ROOMMATE. 

tw: trauma, eating disorder, drug use !!

ok so !!!! first thing’s first, she usually does by the nickname dolly. but she doesn’t care too much abt what u call her u can call her fuckass and she’d just be like what’s up

she’s a town native !!! grew up in a shitty area w a kind of shitty family. parents were never around, always off on benders or just....generally bein shitty parents. dolly & her older brother had to learn how to take care of themselves when they were pretty young and they’ve always done just fine. they didn’t have a lot of money so dolly got pretty good at playing up the cute lil girl role and getting free stuff out of ppl

as much as she claims she relies only on herself, she also relies heavily on the kindness of strangers bc without them she definitely would have gone hungry for real

in order to stay away from her house as much as possible she would hang out at the skating rink as a kid & eventually after stealing a pair of skates from the lost & found she taught herself how to skate & eventually figure skate as well. she’s always wanted to go pro but.....obviously couldn’t afford the training

her brother used to throw pretty big ragers in their place when their parents were gone so......she started drinking & doing drugs at a pretty young age & just generally hanging out with ppl who were much older than her & v bad influences.

trauma tw !! it was at one of these parties that she had a traumatic experience w one of her brother’s friends. she was 13 and she still hasn’t told anyone about what happened. it happened on more than one occasion and her brother is still friends w this boy so she just.....does her best to avoid him & pretend that nothing ever happened bc she refuses to acknowledge her trauma

she was pretty popular in school but never rly felt like she had any true friends ??? none of her relationships were all that deep and she mostly just hung out with people to get free stuff LMAO and like rides places i guess

but she does have her lil group of friends that she truly cares abt and when she actually cares abt u.......she’s around for LIFE u cant get rid of her sorry

she got emancipated when she was 16 and has been living on her own ever since. at first she’d would just stay at friend’s houses and sleep on their couches, but that stopped when she finally got a job at the skating rink teaching kids how to skate & got a new place to live. she’s been chillin working there and living in the apartment building for a couple of years now

despite the fact she has a job, a good portion of her income doesn’t even rly come from that ??? she has......a sugar daddy who finances most of her spending

that is.....a v brief outline of her life up until this point but imma talk a bit abt her personality now

she is.....very magnetic tbH. knows how to draw in a group and keep them interested

knows how to bat her eyelashes and flirt if it means she’ll get something out of it

she’s kind of mean, kind of not ??? she is v moody a lot of the time tbh like it’s either hit or miss with her. sometimes she’ll be in the mood to have a big long chat and in a split second she’ll be telling u to fuck off

likes to know everyone else’s drama but doesn’t like having drama of her own

kind of does her own thing ???? marches to the beat of her own drum. doesn’t rly follow any rules. she’s just out here

does most things out of spite. even if she doesn’t want to do something, if someone tells her she cant do something she’s gna do it no matter what

very animated and lively. the type to dance in the middle of the grocery store if a song she likes is playing

also the type to dance on tables at the club

doesn’t rly care what ppl think about her but.....does at the same time ??? if ur important to her she cares deeply abt ur opinion but if not........she doesn’t give a FUCK

makes homes out of people far too easily & it’s fucked her up!!!!!

she always has to keep herself busy or else she’ll lose her mind :))))

will do.......literally anything to get something for free ??? doesn’t matter what it is or who u are. she can HATE u but.....she will still blow u behind the 7/11 for a free slurpee u know

i wouldn’t say she’s hypersexual but she is highly sexual thx to her trauma !!!

she is friendly yet distant at the same time so like......while she will happily talk to u and hang out with u and whatever she avoids deep conversation topics ig ??? she always finds a way to leave or change the subject when it gets serious or make a joke out of things bc she can’t.........talk abt stuff ajsdfjkgdjgk

a very witty & clever girl. she’s v smart and would have done well in school had she had a slightly better life & didn’t have to worry abt whether or not she would starve

some extra tidbits abt her !!!

p much all of her clothing is vintage/thrifted. she likes to re-purpose old clothes and make them her own. but her aesthetic is v vintage. shoes are her fave & she’s always wearing some funky type of boot or platform shoe

just a real fashion bitch !!!!

catch her online shopping at almost any given moment

mental breakdown haircuts at 2am are her Mood

she loves going to cute lil vintage diners & drinkin a cherry coke. she....actually is lowkey addicted to pop 

can’t keep a relationship to save her life. will date someone and put herself FULLY into the relationship but.......will either get bored or cheat on them or put them up on a pedestal so it’s destined to fail after one lil mistake.

she is a self-sabotager like that bc she doesn’t believe she’s deserving of love or any good things really

smokes cigarettes

drug use tw !! smokes a lot of weed probably. also does a lot of cocaine. has a coke addiction, in fact

her fave colour is red

she has a cat named freddie who she adores more than anything else on the planet

likes to play poker & gamble

will literally try anything once

hates herself & is rotting inside!!!!!!!!!!!!

eating disorder tw !! another symptom from her trauma is the eating disorder she developed as a teen. food is.....one of her few things in life she can fully control so she controls it a Lot. she’ll go days without eating just to feel more in control & then often times after restricting a certain food for a v long time she’ll go on a massive binging and purging and it’s awful :////// 

just wants to have fun and forget abt how disgusting she feels on a daily basis & how much she hates herself :))))))))))

generally just.............a messy bitch

this is......a LOT. i don’t have a full wc page or anything yet but here r some ideas ig ???

friends !! ppl that don’t actually know her all that well but she pretends they do anyway

exes !! ya girl puts her whole entire being into relationships even tho she runs away from them right after bc self sabotage ???? so she prob isn’t on good terms with any of her exes but......she’s my bi queen so this is open to anybody!!!!

a drug dealer

party buddies

fwbs & hookups, that kinda thing

maybe someone she cheated on a partner with ??? for Drama

or like....someone who’s relationship she fucked up idk

maybe someone who has a crush on her or something & she’s like.......pls don’t what r u doing

someone she has a crush on & avoids them like the plague bc feelings are gross

a good influence

idK i want angst & cute fluffy stuff so just.........everything pls thank uuuu

and ofc.............the song connections i’ve sent to the main~

that was a LOT im sorry y’all but..........come plot w me pleaseeee :’)