#idk i just think it would be nice not to feel ignored and neglected and stuff

[omgfangirlland]

I'm going to need all of you to hear me out on what I'm about to spew, but I have yandere!batfam brain rot, and I just came across Yan!girldad!nolan grayson.

HEAR ME OUT!

Putting a page break here cuz idk how long this will be-

So- the usual neglected batsis that as a youngster craved the attention of her fam, but after being brushed away, after being ignored, after being straight up forgotten about, says fuck it, y'all aren't worth my love, I'll use the Wayne money to do as I please.

So she does. She uses the monthly allowance that is on auto pay straight to her card to do arts, to paint her heart away, to draw and play video games, to fund and pay off anything from homeless shelters to medical bills, trying to make a dent into the Wayne fortune both in selfish and non-selfish ways. She's basically a petty tween.

But then she wakes up with powers. She thinks she's a meta- batman doesn't like metas, that's what she thinks, she doesn't know Bruce doesn't want metas in Gotham due to Gotham being ground zero for meta trafficking. Boom, panic.

I think she has powers like flying, super strength, and like immediate healing if not "iron skin" like Superman. So she wakes because she hits the ceiling due to flying while asleep. She panics, falls, maybe breaks something, nobody comes to check on her-

Now, she always has toyed with the idea of leaving, but this? THIS? Breaking point, she packs necessities and the Wayne card and says bye-bye Gotham, good morning... Chicago? NYC? Idk, whichever place Omni man lives in ig.

The batfam, of course, doesn't notice. In this universe, I think even Alfred won't have been paying that much attention to batsis, man's too busy. So what if one day he does his rounds, cleaning, opens a door he hasn't been in a while.

The room is dusty. Dusty beyond hell, and one singular photo of batsis at like a kindergarten graduation makes him drop everything, including his heart. Old man goes feral, absolutely crazy, because where the fuck is this kid, this little baby, that he went and picked up because Bruce couldn't be bothered.

The batfam goes crazy too. In the mean time-

Batsis is, surprisingly, living her best life. Initially, she planned on getting an under the table job- clean a bar, babysit, be the errand girl of some shady drag dealer, etc. But Nolan sees her while she tries to get her powers under control, shakily flying, accidentally blowing to pieces a tree as she leans against it.

Omni-man as he lurks in the shadows: Debbie would love a daughter. I would love a daughter.

Batsis would call it kidnapping, Nolan calls it adopting without extra steps. Debbie takes one look at this shaken kid and immediately goes mama mode while reprimanding Nolan about taking a kid off the streets and not warning her so she could prepare better.

Mark? It takes about 2 hours before he realizes that they can be training buddies and that they have similar taste in some things. That's his baby sister. No arguments, just baby sis. Batsis? Much like a hungry, cold cat, she accepts her fate. It does feel nice to finally have some attention on her.

So she trains with Nolan and Mark, gets great, becomes a reluctant superhero, deliberately ignores Nolan's rants about her becoming such a great warrior, his little girl on the way of becoming the greatest conquror. Gothamite batsis just shrugs it off as just a Thursday.

Back with the batfam, pure chaos. Everyone is in shambles. How could they forget about a whole kid? Their siblings, Bruce's youngest daughter. Guilt is slowly turning into madness, and madness is slowly turning into a need to prove they can be better, that they weren't deliberately overlooking an innocent child because of personal pettiness, they were just distracted but now they'll right their wrongs.

Bonus p1:

Superman finally meeting batsis: What do you mean you're Bruce's kid? 😃 What do you mean you're a meta and instead of coming to uncle Clark you go and get adopted by murderous Omni-man? 🙂 What do you mean you kinda approve of him killing his enemies? 🫠

Batsis just wants Joker to die.

Bonus pt2:

Dick: What do you mean she's calling that other Grayson boy big brother? 😀

Damien: What do you mean I have another sibling? What do you mean she's calling that purple alien bastard her little brother?! I blame you, father.

Bonus pt3:

John Constantine: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GAVE ONE OF BATMAN'S KIDS IMMORTALITY AND MAGICAL POWERS?

The deity/entity batsis has been depicting in her paintings for years: *shrugs* I was bored, my little priestess was sad, she's not anymore 🤷

That's the plot twist, batsis is actually magical, but her powers work the way they do because that's the only way she knows how to fight with them. Magic isn't on her thought as a possibility, even if she was into the occult.

Cue John drinking for 3 days straight before having the courage(or will) to go to the Bat.

[starkeymeow]

not so bad

college!rafe cameron x reader au

— in which rafe and y/n absolutely despise each other in public but crush in secret. rafe is failing his humanities class & is assigned y/n as his tutor . . . maybe all it took for this relationship to form was just a bit of forced proximity and some time.

warning(s): nothing much, just rafe and y/n being cuteness, but there is a little bit of a serious talk !! omg rafe being kind ?? this is insane

authors note: this is NOT the end of the series of course. theyre just starting to become friends but obvi theyre gna become lovers with time. am i rushing this ?? idk cs theyve been frenemies since kids n now theyre js officially friends in part 4 like okay u guys move fast. mayb its my fault

three | four | five

you knock upon his door, your heartbeat thudding with each pulse as you anxiously wait outside his dorm. rafe had gotten back to you just hours after you sent him the message about the second tutor session, seeming to be just fine with having to spend more time with you after ignoring each other all week.

it just worries you a little about how this is going to go.

the door opens, revealing the blond boy himself. his tongue is pressed against the side of his mouth as he leans out between the crack in the door. his eyes are right on you, and he strands up straight, pulling the door open completely to let you in.

he’s standing there in some forest green crewneck with a white shirt underneath and some pants. in his hand is a small glass container full of what looks like mac and cheese and what you guess are steak bites with a spoon sticking out of it. he eats so much actual food instead of cafeteria food that you know that he’s gonna get his own place after freshman year and invest mostly in his kitchen for some gourmet shit that reminds him of home and some gym preps. that’s just so rafe.

you’re not surprised though that he doesn’t share any of his food with those in the dorm building with you guys, even just to sell them and make money. even though you know a ton of students would pay and kill to get away from the same rotation of food they’re usually served here. ‘cause it’s not like he needs the extra money anyway. his family’s loaded. so that is so not rafe.

there’s also a small smile on his face when he lets you in, but also like there’s just absolutely no thought behind his eyes. he looks stupid. but you think he looks stupid every time you see him.

you hesitantly step inside, still not completely comfortable in his space. or comfortable at all. it almost feels like your first time inside his dorm again, only with more tension than before everything. a month ago, you didn’t even think that was possible.

“so you’re failing english,” you’re the first to say something. you walk over to his desk like last time and carefully set your ipad on its surface.

“english isn’t for everyone.”

“surprised it isn’t for you after that little showdown in class,” you point out, turning to him.

he shuts the door behind him and locks it, then walks to his bed to sit on the edge, facing you. digging into his mac, he nods, “that was fun by the way.”

you raise an eyebrow at him. what is going on? one moment he’s not even paying you any mind but now he’s able to have a normal conversation with you. even say something kind of nice.

but then, you’ve been the same way in the switch from neglect to willingness.

“show me your notes,” you tell him, and he pushes himself off the edge of the bed to stand and walk to you. you watch him as he approaches his desk, controlling his laptop through his track pad.

he navigates through chrome and opens his documents like last time. he pulls up his most recent notes, which are in a folder with the title being the dates of this past week.

“since our first ever session, i started organizing my notes for class for every lecture per week,” he says, stepping away from the laptop to let you take a look at it. you go to sit in his chair to inspect his new notes, noticing the huge difference in how he takes notes now. “these five have been from this week for this class. so . . .”

as he trails off you can hear him eat spoonfuls and spoonfuls of his food, in which you glance back at him at the sounds of. but your focus is still on the notes, to tutor him.

you’re surprised that he’s gone to no notes to notes at all, let alone organized ones with folders, headings, dates, actual information, the whole shabang. has he been doing this for all of his classes too?

“that’s . . . impressive,” you say honestly, looking back at him. “but i don’t get it. if you’ve been writing down the lecture material then why are you almost failing the class?”

he shrugs, finishing his bite before swallowing it down to speak. “english isn’t for everyone,” he repeats himself, and you raise an eyebrow at his words.

you’re a little lost because literally none of this makes sense. “w— wait, so you . . . you take your english notes for about three weeks and whether or not you absorb the material, you boil it down to: at the end of the day you’ll fail because ‘english isn’t for everyone’? rafe.”

“y/n,” he says.

“why are you even in university?” you ask him, and you see his expression falter when he realizes you’re serious. “i mean like actually. we both left the outer banks to attend here but you’re failing your classes whether you do the work for them or not. it seems like you aren’t even trying. what’s the point?”

“you know, college isn't just about classes,” he tells you, and you cock your head in question. “it’s about the whole experience—making connections, networking, discovering yourself. it’s what i wanted to do from the start. plus, there are plenty of other ways to learn besides sitting in a lecture hall.”

you stare at him in silence. that doesn’t answer your question at all. “okay, but you aren’t learning, period. like lectures apparently go in one ear and out the other,” you say, and rafe only smiles as he looks down at his food, picking at it as he makes his way over to the edge of his bed again.

“i mean isn’t the whole point of college to get an education?” you ask him, your tone skeptical. “seems like a waste of time and money if you're not even going to try to pass all your classes.”

he gives you a knowing look when you mention money, but it’s almost like he doesn’t want to talk about about that. or need to. “to each their own, y/n,” he replies cryptically, and his expression is unreadable. “we all have our reasons for being here.”

a part of you understands where he’s coming from completely, yet another part insists that there’s still a way to balance both. you know he’s capable. he just needs some motivation.

“i think . . . you should have no reason to be failing right now, especially because of your improvement from last time,” you tell him honestly. “you should be making the most out of your already-paid-for classes anyway! you’ve written the work, you’ve been able to pass your exams, you said you needed to study last time i was here, you read a book assigned to the class and were able to debate with me on it. you’re fully capable. you just need a little push maybe.”

he grimaces. “are you gonna spend your time here to teach me how to learn?”

“no.” you shake your head at him, “i’m gonna spend my time here to just motivate you. you’ve spent all your time investing a great amount of energy and effort into your other classes. why not this one? thompson doesn’t need me to tutor you; he just wants me to help you in any way that i can.”

rafe is silent as you spin around in his chair to face him fully.

“we can work on our assignment together if you want,” you offer, but your voice comes out in a mumble, unsure if he’ll take it or feel off about the idea. “i haven’t finished it yet. this way, we can be in each others presence here, but not with me teaching you, but us working together at the same level.”

for once you can see in his face that there’s a little glint in his eyes. and he looks . . . hopeful. he nods. and you feel good about this, in some weird way—just working out things between you and him when for years it’s been nothing but tension. it’s almost like a weight off your back to know that you both are okay with each other enough to be friends. or kind of friends. or tolerate each other.

you twist your body and take his laptop into your hands, then stand from the chair to hand rafe his laptop while simultaneously taking his container from him. you set it down on his desk and cover it up for him.

“prepare for the worst few hours of your life,” you tell him as you pull up your class assignment, and you don’t need to look up to see the smile on rafe’s face. you can tell he’s holding back from it but it’s there. and there’s one on yours too.

after just an hour and a half of discussing, writing, deleting, a lot of questions, yelling, and finally completing all of your english work for the week, you get ready to head back to your dorm. it’s definitely late and rafe mentioned that lorenzo should be coming back soon and will wanna go to sleep right away.

with your ipad tucked underneath your armpit you push rafe’s chair in under his desk, then head for the door. rafe has once again offered you more water like before but this time the offer came with snacks from the whole drawer that rafe had organized in his bedspace. that guy has great taste in snacks.

“thanks for helping me out by the way,” rafe mumbles under his breath as he treads behind you, walking you out. you open the door and look back at him, in which his hand finds the door above your head. “you didn’t have to do it a second time but you did. i really, uh . . . i really appreciate it.”

“literally no problem at all,” you say as he pulls out some cash from his back pocket like he prepared it for you. you raise your eyebrows. “no it’s fine. i didn’t even tutor you today. you can keep it.”

“you still took time out of your day and helped me out so unfortunately it does,” he insists, then slaps the money in your palm.

you roll your eyes, stuffing it in your pocket as you turn around to leave.

“hey wait,” he says, reaching out to stop you but pulling away before he could make contact. he’s a little anxious as he goes to scratch his temple, closing one of his eyes as he thinks about it for a second. you stop and wait patiently, curious. “sorry for being so weird the other day,” he starts to say, but you’re already waving your hand to tell him it’s okay.

“rafe really, it’s oka—”

“it’s not,” he cuts you off, and you’re silenced from the look on his face. he looks almost defeated, or rather disappointed in himself. he can’t even look at you like he’s embarrassed of what he’s said and done.

he takes a moment to build the courage to communicate his thoughts, and eventually he knows exactly what to say.

“i was just having a rough day ‘cause i was just overwhelmed,” he says. you furrow your eyebrows, wondering what he means. it seems personal that you step back inside his room and shut the door behind you.

“then when i saw you here with enzo, it didn’t even cross my mind to think that you were actually here for me. since i wasn’t even in the room, i thought ‘why would she just be here?’ . . . it was just a lot of fresh feelings and everything was setting me off, including that. and i’m . . . i’m sorry, it shouldn’t have happened,”

“and i’m sorry for ignoring you for a week too. i thought we were just back to how things have always been, and to be honest, that made me upset too. ‘cause you’re really cool to be around. i guess.”

you frown at him. “i think you’re pretty cool too,” you tell him. “even though you piss me off. it feels kind of nice being able to talk to you like we’re . . .”

“friends,” he finishes for you, and you nod. he’s smiling. “that whole feud just to become friends after two hours of tutoring huh?”

your smile turns into a laugh as you nod. you had the same thought. “maybe it just means that since we became friends so easily, we were meant to become that in the first place instead of whatever we were,” you suggest, and rafe grins at you. your smile fades slowly as you stare up at him, “so friends?”

“whatever,” he says with his grin still, and he goes to shake your hand on it. you chuckle, pulling away from the handshake to push his chest, and you head for the door again. “i’ll see you?” he asks, following you again.

“i’ll see you,” you say as you walk down toward your dorm. when you take out your key, you look to the side and see rafe’s head peeking out from his door. he’s beaming, his smile open with his tongue pressed to the side. “goodnight,” you say, unlocking your door as you head inside.

“goodnight,” you can hear him respond as you shut the door behind you, and you spot aria sleeping in her bed already.

you place your ipad on your desk and approach your dresser to retrieve some new clothes. you plan on heading to the showers really quick to get ready for bed.

as you collect your clothes, towels, and shower caddy, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. you slip out of your room to head for the showers, swiping up on your screen to see what’s going on. it’s a message from rafe.

‘ ik u just left like 15 minutes ago but my friends and i wanna go see this new coffee shop tmw and they play live music. just wanted to know if u would wanna come? ’

before you can reply, he sends another message:

‘ totally fine if not idk what our boundaries are ’

‘ u would like elara and lorenzo. they’re really cool ’

‘ i’ll pay for your coffee ’

you jump at the opportunity to reply back instantly.

‘ i’ll see u there !! ’

@svnsetcrve @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @lalalalala33 @darkcolorexpert @babyflockaaaa @lifeofleasaasa @ilyrafe @mkiverd @wxn-drlst

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Lucifer who falls for a hell born reader who’s maybe a hell hound who works at the hotel for free as long as she’s helping; hcs please.

I don't watch Helluva Boss but I do have a vague understanding of Hellhounds in this universe so... I'll try my best :) Again I altered the idea a little bit but I hope you still like it.

Edit: The note is outdated as now I do watch Helluva Boss. It's good, ignore past me.

Yandere! Lucifer with Hellhound! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Unhealthy power dynamic, Manipulation, Degrading behavior (You're called a good girl due to being a Hound, idk if it counts), Possessive/Protective behavior, Delusional behavior, Clingy behavior, Possible kidnapping, Dubious relationship/companionship.

Alright, according to my research, Hellhounds are Hellborn who rank under Imps.

They are bottom of the ladder Demons who are used for labor, pets, or guards of some sort.

Hellborn are unable to be redeemed, as a result they don't typically bother with the Hotel.

However... Here's my idea.

You were originally some sort of nanny or guard for Charlie.

Either Lucifer or Lilith had appointed you, a Hellhound, to care for Charlie when they can't.

This resulted in you staying at the Hotel with Charlie.

The Hotel is a home to you, plus you care for Charlie and help in any way you can.

Lucifer's obsession wouldn't start until he visits the Hotel.

He knows about you, the Hellhound that was taken in because his daughter saw you and got so damn excited.

You had no home, so Charlie's parents allowed you in.

You were so nice with his little girl.

You were an adult female Hellhound who left the Gluttony Ring to find a job in the Pride Ring.

Upon being offered the job of guard and caretaker by Lucifer/Lilith, you take it gratefully.

Since then you'd been caring for Charlie, a loyal servant and guard dog.

The last time Lucifer saw you was when Lilith took Charlie.

Being the ever loyal hound you were, you followed them obediently and left Lucifer alone.

When Lucifer enters the Hotel, he is surprised to be greeted by you.

You're surprised to see him and smell his familiar scent, but you bow and lead him inside.

It... caused Lucifer to smile upon realizing someone does still care.

"There's no need for the bow, girl... we can be casual. Now, how's Charlie? Been treating her well?"

Lucifer wasn't expecting to be so happy when seeing you again.

Maybe it's the depression and the fact his wife left him.

For some reason... he feels a bit attached to you.

Even more so when he sees how loyal you are toward Charlie, often protecting her and receiving pats on your head.

It feels a bit strange for him... but he does think he's falling in love again in some way.

Lucifer probably just yearns for companionship of any kind.

Be that platonic love or romantic love.

You've always been such a big help for him and his family since they took you in.

I mean... you already parent Charlie more than him at times.

Lucifer is noticeably awkward when he tries to reconnect and speak with anyone in the Hotel.

However, he seems to talk fine with you for the most part, often asking about Charlie and how you've been throughout the years, you got your Hellbies shot, right?

Lucifer has trouble understanding his feelings towards you, he may even be a bit delusional.

Yet... he seems rather intent on getting closer to you since he entered the Hotel.

Now, here's where I'm just going to talk little HCs of Lucifer with a Hellhound! Darling.

He definitely would call you a "good girl".

That along with petting you or calling you into his lap.

Lucifer would give you a kiss on the forehead and often just likes holding you to feel your soft fur.

I imagine he's possessive of your attention at times due to feeling neglected by those he loves.

Lucifer may make you rubber duckies as gifts.

He's also asking about you with Charlie since he thinks out of anyone Charlie knows you best.

Definitely thinks you also love him just as much, even if you just see him as a master or some sort more than a partner.

If he's jealous or irritated with something, you calm him down by jumping in his lap and licking his face.

It shocks him for a moment, even if he knows that's just how Hellhounds show affection, but soon it just melts him.

I prefer a dubious pairing in this, but you can see him with a Hellhound darling in either way as you're a guard to Charlie.

He may also be protective since you're such a precious person to him.

With Lucifer... he plans to not make you feel like you're low on Hell's hierarchy.

You're not just a peasant to him.

You're his Hellhound, his good girl who has always been loyal...

Unlike others he's loved....

You aren't a pet to him, although some Hellhounds are often seen that way.

You're someone he sees as family of some kind, you make him and his daughter happy.

You always have...

Which is why he doesn't like the idea of letting you go.

You're loyal to Charlie but respect Lucifer.

Loyal to the point of never leaving the Hotel...

But... what if he ordered you to?

What if he asked Charlie to let him borrow you for company.

He promises you it's okay to part from Charlie for a bit.

He'll return you to the Hotel in due time (He won't).

Lucifer doesn't want to be alone again right now...

You'll be a good girl and listen to your master, yeah?

"The pets feel nice, don't they? There's my loyal girl... missed you so much...! Don't worry about Charlie, she's a big girl now. You've done your part. Just worry about me... alright? Don't need you to go back to the Hotel right now... just need you here with me!"

[mia-maybank]

My predictions for heartbreak high season 3

-A backstory on Ant's homelife and how the map affected it -it feels like they built it up all s1 then s2 Ant was drunk or high 90% of his screentime so it feels like he was substance abusing to escape his family issues? Idk but I'm praying they give us this type of storyline in s3.

-Malakai realising he was infact just running from his problems so he comes back -he needs to address everything properly and finally have some happiness because the poor guy has been dragged through the mud in the previous seasons.

-Miss Obah helping Spider with his mother and Woodsy helping Ant with his homelife -Miss Obah makes it pretty clear she doesn't like Spider and it seems like Woodsy just sees Ant as a class clown so I think it would be interesting for them to both realise they are actually just struggling kids with shitty parents.

-Quinni and Sasha becoming close friends & Sasha redemption arc -with Sasha being vice captain they will be working together a lot, which will be interesting with them being exes. It would also be a good chance for Quinni to help Sasha realise her opinions or the way she goes about expressing her opinions is toxic and help her change for the better.

-Miss Obah talking Spider through a panic attack -because lets be real Spider bottles all his emotions and vulnerability up so it's bound to come crashing down at somepoint, plus it would be a good way to make Miss Obah realise that Spider's just hurt rather than the complete dickhead she thinks he is. It would also probably be the first time Spider has an adult figure look out and care for him and that would be good for him.

-Cash forcing Darren to sit down and communicate properly -because I love Darren but they definitely don't know what healthy communication is and to be endgame (which if they aren't I will personally riot) they both need to sit down and fully figure their shit out.

-Missy and Ant friendship -with Missy dating Spider and Ant being Spider's bestfriend it's kind of a given and she would be a healthy person to give advice to Ant.

-Missy, Spider and Ant having that dynamic where Ant is basically Missy and Spider's child -because Spider already has such a soft spot for him and I can just see them both giving him advice together and looking after him, especially if Ant gets a storyline about his parents being neglectful.

-Lots of Ant and Spider friendship screentime -in the first two seasons they are practically attached at the hip so the writers better keep it that way for my sanity.

-Malakai's reaction to Missy dating Spider as well as Spider apologising to Malakai if (when) he comes back and Malakai being shook by the fact that Spider's actually changed - it would be a good way to show Spider's really trying to change plus I feel like Malakai's reaction to Missy and Spider being together would be so funny.

-A scene where Malakai is hurt because he thinks Amerie just ignored his letter and Amerie is like "what letter?" -the writers have literally set this up by burning the letter and I'm now terrified.

-Dusty coming back to Hartley -they could so easily make up a reason for Dusty to come back and I think it would be interesting to see how he fits back in now Spider is growing to be a better person.

-Ant finding out Harper made the map too and being upset about it since it literally outed him and Spider going full protective best friend mode -the fact that everybody still fully blames Amerie just doesn't sit right with me and with Ant probably being the most affected by the map (considering his Christian parents) and with him falling for Harper he would definitely feel the most betrayed.

-Ant coming out to Spider properly or having a conversation with him about his sexuality -I think the writers just completely forgot that Ant is canonically not straight and it would be nice for it to be acknowledged, even in a small way.

-Cash self harm storyline and the others finding out the meaning of his name -This was set up with the writers revealing the meaning of his name at the end of s2 so it makes sense.

-Spider having less trust in teachers after Voss, leading to Woodsy and Miss Obah finding out Voss slapped Spider -because he literally slapped a child surely the wiriters won't forget about it and just move on??

-Ant breaking down sobbing in Spider's arms or vice versa -they are each others first point of comfort so it makes sense they will lean on eachother throughout their family issues. Plus I could so imagine a scene of Spider just completely breaking down in Ant and Missy's arms because he seriously does just bottle everything up until he explodes.

[thistlerock]

I don't think Fabian would be normal about wine. Actually. Yeah no sorry. Alcohol in general maybe but not wine. Yeah this is NEVER even hinted at and it doesn't seem to matter. I know. This is because we are watching a comedy dnd actual play show. Don't care. I will overthink the character if I want to. I will shamelessly project if I want to. Sorry if this one's weird lmao.

The growing up with a neglectful substance abusing parent situation is weird and complicated, but I think about it a certain way and I think Fabian would too. I think Fabian loves his mother, and I think he wants to respect her. I also think one of the first things he remembers associating with her as child is her wine, that he thought of her when he smelled it because that's what she smelled like. I think he is nineteen years old now and somewhere at some point it clicked that that shouldn't have been the main thing, not with his mother, but it always was. He's not necessarily bothered by that but something is off.

Weird topic for a tumblr post. Obviously this is not universal but if I were to put it into words it's that you don't think about it too much until you do, and then it's weird. It's not even upsetting most of the time it just feels weird. Because it's not like it made them do anything bad but it was a distraction and somewhere you're mad and somewhere you love your parent and somewhere you think it's not their fault because addiction is horrible and somewhere you question if they were really addicted or just didn't feel like stopping and then you feel bad for wondering, and then you're mad again, and then somewhere in there you don't even care that much? It wasn't that big of a deal. It's just that you try, eventually, and then you're like. Okay. I don't get why this was more important than me? And that's fucked. Because you still live in the same house. And then you look at your mother. And you think you might understand her a little less with every day you spend growing up.

On Fabian. This post is about Fabian. It's not like a big thing, idk. It's just a passive dislike of it. An avoidance he's not aware of, and then he becomes aware of it and stops avoiding it, and then he feels a little bothered. It's oh, they didn't fully get rid of the stash Hallariel had, just moved it. He knows and he kind of ignores it, because there is nothing else to do? (She seems to know as well but she doesn't seem particularly tempted nowadays. For how long it went on she took quitting comparatively well. She is immortal, so maybe it wasn't that long to her? Was that really just one big bender? Could she have stopped whenever she wanted to?) (What a weird question to ask.)

And then it's oh, Fig is talking about some elvish wine her mother brought and the brand sounds so familiar. She says it tastes nice? Alcohol doesn't usually taste good, and you don't drink it for the taste you drink it to get drunk, anyway. He thinks that's odd but he doesn't say anything. Later he thinks about how he's never had wine before. (Because he doesn't drink outside of parties. And wine at parties is weird. So if he's getting drunk ((because that's what you do with alcohol)) at a party ((because that's what you do at parties)) he's not getting drunk on wine.) (If his insight was better maybe something would click but it isn't, so it doesn't.) At their next movie night at mordred manor someone offers him a sip so he takes one.

It's sweet and then it's bitter. He doesn't really like it, but then he doesn't dislike it either. He thinks it's okay, but he wonders if this is the right brand because surely this could not have been worth it.

He doesn't say anything about it but the next time he sees his mother something feels kind of off, and he never seeks it out himself but if someone offers him wine he always says yes. He never develops a taste for it but part of him wishes he would. And that's weird. He doesn't get why he's so weird about it.

As with most of these things, he doesn't talk about it. It'd be weird to talk about. It's weird to be typing out. Headache.

[deafeninggalaxycandy]

Stuart and Carol McCormick Backstory

Warning: mentions of pedophilia, drugs, alcoholism, death, and whole bunch of disturbing bullshit 💀

Disclaimer: This is purely a headcanon idea based on the age gap of Carol and Stuart that I read on a South Park wiki page. I originally thought it was canon until recently, but I'd already given this lots of thought. It may or may not be true. Also the sus parts of this are based on experiences I've had being groomed minus the pregnancy of course. If u don't like it, scroll and block me, please. Also, read the warnings first before you start complaining.

Okay, so since Stuart is supposedly 42 and Carol is supposedly 26, then the age gap is by 13 years. This would mean their firstborn Kevin, who's supposedly like 13, would have been born when Carol was 13 and Stuart was 26.

Now, you might be wondering. Where the fuck are Carol's parents?

Well, Kenny has a grandfather. It's not said explicitly that he's Carol's or Stuart's father, but I'll assume he's Carol's.

So this guy (lets call him Bill) lived in rural Texas with his father deceased when he was a child from fighting the Vietnam War and his mother gone insane due to grief. Bill had no siblings and was pretty isolated. He moved out as soon as possible into the city and his pain was poured into cocaine and Jack Daniels. He was a drug addict and heavy drinker in the 70s (I'm assuming he's like 80 now, which would make him born in 1944 and 26 in the 70s). His habits continued for years until one day he met a hooker he found strung out on the street (Anne maybe? Idk). They only had sex and were both incredibly high but they had developed some sort of feelings for each other. Bill couldn't stop thinking about her and decided to actually date her. After a few more hookups, Anne started to like him too and decided to leave the prostitute thing. Later when she found out she was pregnant, they were both pretty happy. Anne moved in, Bill quit his drug abuse, Carol was born, all was well. For like 3 seconds

Anne died after giving birth due to blood loss which led Bill into a deep depression. He tried to take care of Carol as best he could but he had almost no motivation and fell back into drugs and drinking.

Carol grew up neglected. Not necessarily abused but just not cared for properly and very ignored, emotionally and physically. Bill left her alone in front of the TV most of the time and didn't bother to hide his addictions from her. This led to Carol getting into his alcohol and sneaking some of his beer bottles. She grew up pretty independent and rough acting.

When she turned 11, she started to sneak out of the house out of boredom (and lack of food) and go to convience stores to shoplift. Then, this guy comes in. This tall, kinda good looking guy with a gross mustache.

Stuart!!

He's like 23 at this point and sees her stealing. Instead of telling, he offers to pay for Carol's snacks. They chat for a bit and she asked him for a cigarette. They talked about each other, and Carol told Stuart why she was out this late and that her dad was a neglectful parent. Stuart felt some pity for her. Carol didn't have lots of friends at school and was generally pretty lonely. She felt happy someone was really talking to her and asking questions. Stuart told her his situation. He had fallen on some hard times with his drinking, fighting with his brother, poverty and not knowing what to do with his life. Carol was much more empathetic and offered him comfort.

As almost year went by, they were basically a couple. They loved each other sorta. Stuart didn't really "love" love her but saw her more as an empathetic nice girl who was easy to control. Carol loved Stuart because he paid attention to her and made sure she was safe unlike her father. Carol was always sneaking out to see him, or bringing him over. Bill never noticed because he was a fucking alcoholic idiot. It was a mess 💀

So yeah blah blah blah, they ended up uh...yk.

When Carol was pregnant, Stuart freaked out and was ready to leave her. He thought he'd be sent to prison and was gonna run away until Carol begged him to stay. After a couple months of relentless pleading, he complied. Carol had to run away before her father noticed what happened to his daughter. He did eventually find out Carol ran away but he knew he'd go to prison if he called the police. He mourned Carol's absence for years before he eventually decided to continue numbing himself.

Meanwhile, Carol was pregnant with Kevin, residing in Stuarts shitty run down apartment and the arguments with him began. They fought over everything, where to live, what to do, whether to abort the child, all kinds of stuff. This conflict led to them finally think and re-evaluate their ridiculous choices. They both had essentially ruined their lives and didn't even really pay attention to that fact in the midst of the lust, loneliness, and substance abuse.

Carol had Kevin in April of 2000. She didn't go out much, mostly staying home for Kevin and so the police didn't get involved. After a couple years, she started to go outside again. She had a job and even made friends. Stuart just lazed around all day and complained as usual but he was making somewhat of an effort to be kinder to Carol as she had given birth to his child. Things were swell untilllllll

Kenny!!

Carol was like 15 to 16 while she was pregnant. This was when her and Stuart were going to the Cthulu meetings. The members sensed she was pregnant with a boy and thought Kenny would be perfect to be the new placeholder of the curse. Carol was drinking while she was pregnant as was Stuart but the cult members spiked her drinks with potions to ready Kenny for his immortality curse and help make Carol's body strong enough to withstand giving birth to him repeatedly. Of course, they didn't know this because the couple was incredibly wasted.

The exact day after Kenny was sacrificed to the Cthulu curse, was when a coworker of Carol called the police to investigate her relationship with Stuart after she let it slip that she was almost 17 with two kids already.

A policeman came investigating until Carol freaked out and hit one of them in the head with a pipe, killing him in front of Kevin. They all got in Stuarts junky truck and decided to move out of state before things got worse.

They went to South Park where Stuart knew his brother lived. He helped them a little bit but not much due to the fact he had a personal grudge against Stuart.

So yeah blah blah blah, drugs, alcohol, the physical fights began. Carol is stronger than Stuart due to the spiked liquor she drank at the cult so she was doing most of the fighting back.

To end the story, they mostly loved each other. As Carol grew into her body, Stuart stayed with her partly due to her looks. Carol realized Stuart was kind of a bum and an asshole (and highkey a pedophile), but she still cared for him. She was still an empathetic sweetheart, and he was still a source of comfort and protection to her (at times). They reconnected eventually. They had some emotional talks the rare times they weren't sober.

So yeah, they love each other, but it's a whole gross mess, idk why I wrote this, but yk whatever. But it's like a really bad story

Oh, and Bill never found out Stuart basically groomed her and committed statury rape because when Carol called him to South Park, she lied, saying Stuart was her age.

Expect lots of Stuart slander from me :) Again, if u don't like this, u can just block me and move on. This was kind of based on a relationship I had with an older man when I was in junior high school and seeing Carol's age listed as 26 and Stuart's as 42, kind of struck something in me and I immediately came up with headcanons. Again, this isn't true, but that's what I read first, and since they haven't said otherwise in the show, I'm making it canon in my universe. Also sorry this took a long time, it's cold in my house I've been under the covers, paying bills, trying to get my fucked up life together. I didnt have much time to be on my laptop.

Okay, that's all. Have a nice day. Drink water, byeeee :)💖💖💖💖

[gotham-daydreams]

With the reading that i did for yandere batfam about how unpleasent it is for the reader because the batfam is quick to blame and mentally-terrorize the reader if the reader is being aggresive to their affection or very very much uncooperative (or active-agressive(?) agressive-unccoperative(?) Idk how to put it in words. Is it rejecting their affection(?)) in their return of affection.

I can personally say that heck yes, weaponized the freak out of the guilt but not so aggresive. Be as petty as you can be.

If it was me, i would so much be passive-aggresive and numb myself to their affection. And can worked on minimalism/low-maintenance affection and physical contact to survive/living. In short being introvert. I dont need your love and affection to live. Cutting my relation out of the Wayne mansion? Too bad, so sad for me. I have survived from lesser affection in my childhood from when you neglect me. And with your force affection? Yeah, i have survived less and this will be a breeze.

You forcefully try to hug me? Yeah, i dont like being hugged. Please keep yourself away from me. Its not nice of me to reject your affection? Yeah, cant be helped that i develop dislike of physical affection because of how often you ignored me.

You compliment me? Sure, whatever, thanks i guess. I know i am amazing, lots of people told me. And the awards help to solidify that too.

You forcefully make me join your game-night? *looking at them as if they lost their mind* I dont want to. I cant refuse? Fine, i'll play your game but with the most minimal effort just to make you itty bitty bit happy so that you wont hound me later and after this finish, i can go back to my room to become a hermit.

Forcing me to play my music piece in front of you? Sure, i'll play it. *after i finish playing* Are u happy now? *giving them the most dead-panned look* If you are, let me go back to my room in peace.

Forcing me to bake a cake? Its a bother, i am not in the mood to baking stuff. Still forcing me? Fine! *inhaling deeply as if its the most inconvenience thing in the world* *bake the most simple cake ever* Done! Anything else that you want to bother me with? *giving them the look of being annoyed but wont tell it to their face that they are a nuisance for manners sake*

You want MY help? *sigh exasperatedly* *giving them the most fake smile ever* Sure. I can help you. But are YOU sure you want MY help? Since i am confindence the others can do much better than my useless forgetable self. I mean you can do it without my help for years now, i am sure you can manage. But if you want my help, who am i to refuse, right? *still giving the most fakest brightest smile*

The amount of pettines that can be done is endless. Like not saying it straight to their face. The passive agressive!! Sometime complimenting oneself and have pride on how amazing they are so batfam words have nothing on reader, other time just self depracating themself, being aware of how lesser in some field they are compare to the batfam to guilt them but its not like its not true.

Or like instead of despairing and giving in to batfam or have stockholm syndrome. What about just being adaptive? Making the best of their situation? Sure, this suck and i can not escape. But i am alive and i will make the best of whatever life have thrown me. I survive years of neglect. I WILL survive out of being kidnapped of my life that i build, back to where my house of hatred is. I may not be happy, you probably will make me miserable if i act out of line (i am pretty sure our line is different. I feel pretty justified to act like this but i know you think i act out of line), but i am going to make sure that you wont forget your sin no matter what (i personally think this is a great punishment. Sure i tread carefully on your line, but i wont give in to you.)

Sorry if this is long. I dont even know where i am going with this. Maybe i feel bad for the reader who always seem to never win in the captive and i want them to at least have some small victories without the punishment, i guess. But you can ignore it if you want. Or if this is bothering you.

I get what you mean! And yeah, honestly doing all of that petty stuff, and generally being uncooperative and such is very fair! After all, it's what the Batfam deserves after everything...

To which I have to say that they do something worse than just normally kidnap the reader but that isn't in part 3 (don't want to get anyone's hopes up too high now). Though it does make the Batfam more deserving of such behavior, so, again, acting that way is very fair and honestly? Go off.

The family will have to deal with it, and even if eventually they'll try to 'correct it', they're more smart than they are brutal, in my opinion. They'll let is slide for a while even if it hurts, but eeeeveryone has a breaking point.

Gotta take those small victories while you can and while they count, y'know? Their guilt will be their down fall for a while.

[celestie0]

as sad as i am to hear that you’re discontinuing kickoff and taking a break from writing, i’m glad that you’re clearly enforcing your boundaries and taking the time you need for yourself. it just really agitates and makes me feel so so so so bad for you, that you have feel like you have to go as far as to discontinue a story that means so much to you, just because of people who feel entitled to your work and blatantly disregard the boundaries you very clearly stated multiple times. it’s SO incredibly unfair and disrespectful towards you, not only as a writer but also as a person. because i feel like some of these people are unappreciative enough to not understand that very thing. you’re a PERSON, with a LIFE and FEELINGS and you take time out of your personal life and put so much heart into your fics that you publish FOR FREE and then there’s these fuckass egoists hiding behind anon as they disregard you completely. it just baffles me how someone can be so disgusting and pathetic as a person??? even if these people don’t have bad intentions per se, the amount of times you had to put up with such asks is insane to me and is still so disrespectful to you. if someone can read your long fics, they can read your rules, or if they follow your blog, then they’ll literally know how many times you’ve talked about it….

anyways enough of that, i am really really sorry that you feel this way and i’m sad that you’re discontinuing kickoff, obviously for one, because i really would’ve loved to read everything else you had planned, but more so, because i can tell how much it means to you by the way it’s written and the way you’ve talked about it in previous posts and that you have to abandon it because of something so easily avoidable if people only read your rules, is, as i said, so unfair and sad. i’m really sorry. but i want you to know that your decision doesn’t mean that you’re not a strong person, because the decision to discontinue it, in order to prioritise yourself and state your boundaries once and for all is one that you have to be very strong to make and come to terms with.

writing is supposed to make you happy and be fun and your writing is ART. it’s so incredible and amazing because you put your heart into it, so if you feel bad about writing something, it’s a reasonable and understandable decision for you to not continue a story anymore, even if it’s a sad one.

i really hope that you don’t beat yourself up over it too much because like i said, these people hide behind anon and are clearly immature and even less empathetic than acid. there are so so many people that enjoy the way you write and are able to recognize that you’re a person with a life too and appreciate you for it. please take the time you need for yourself but don’t let them bring you down. you’re literally amazing and i hope that you feel better as soon as possible.

ily and am sending u much love and strength and support<333

hiiii nia love :”) first of all tysm for the rage bc i feel it in my bones. i know that sometimes people don’t always have bad intentions but i truly just don’t understand why they cannot read my rules 😭😭😭 like am i missing something?? idk…no matter how hard i think ab it, i just don’t understand. it feels ignorant

ty for advocating for me. i love to write for myself but i also love sharing my works, and i never want it to ever feel transactional to my readers. but when my boundaries are constantly trampled over, i start to just feel really neglected n like i’m just a machine here to pump content out n it’s never a nice feeling. idk, not everyone is meant to be able to deal w hate or pressure when sharing content online?? this isnt my livelihood, i’m not getting PAID like an influencer or youtuber would, people who actually do have some level of obligation to ignore the haters and continue to please their paying audience… like i’m just here posting for free tryna enjoy my time 😭….who says i HAVE to be “mature” or “good at ignoring” hate or disrespectful messages 💀 i don’t get paid at all to have those kinda standards forced upon me

🥺 i would quote it but i’m on mobile but the part u say ab me also being strong to be able to let kickoff go… that really touched me. tysm for saying that nia you really have no idea how much that means to me…. i am so devastated to have to let kickoff go honestly im not even trying to think ab it because it WILL make me spiral but ik the feeling is gonna come eventually n i just… i think i just have to believe i’m making the right decision

LESS EMPATHETIC THAN ACID LOL that made me laugh 🤣 ty nia 🥺 ily2 n i hope you take care as well, always a joy seeing you around

[omegapheromone]

Realizing my sibling bond with my younger brother is finally a healthy, silly one where I WILL call him a pissbaby and he will call me an asshole BUT I bring him souvenirs and offer to go get groceries when he's sick and he drives me around and doesn't mind it, is actually really nice.

He's an alpha, and a few years younger, and used to get all of our tired single (alpha) mother's attention as a kid (I mean, he IS younger, but I was also a kid and didn't understand why I was being emotionally neglected bc mom didn't have enough energy for the both of us) so back when we were both small kids we would get in physical fights all the time. As teens we just ignored each other.

Now that we're both adults and past 20, it's actually become pretty wholesome. Even if we're not in constant contact, we get along well, can joke and just chill in each others company, and the vibes are actually good. It's probably pretty normal for most siblings, so me posting about it might seem weird, but idk. I just, appreciate it, because I know what it's like to not get along at all. I don't take it for granted, I guess? And to me, it's just really nice, like this. It's satisfying in the same way that being there and caring for my 11y old littlest sibling is, knowing they feel comfortable and happy and are able to rely on me if they need to. I like being in the older sibling role especially for my youngest sibling/sister I think, because I know I can fill a role her parents (my bio dad and his wife) can't always reach, and she will likely grow up telling me things she won't tell her parents and seek advice from me bc I'm the "cool and chill older sibling who also likes MCR, FNAF, minecraft, and so on".

Anyway this post is getting very long my point is I love my siblings. Even though my little brother is a pissbaby /j, /aff.

I don't think I will have kids of my own but I hope my brother does, I wanna be the weird but cool uncle. I like taking care of kids as long as they aren't my own, I feel I'm not quite responsible or stable enough for my own ones, but I do like kids even if they're tiring sometimes. Wonderful little humans who are only just discovering the world and need protection and cool role models to look up to.

(It's a little different when I'm in heat, but even then my pup fever is rarely very strong. Mostly I just enjoy being a positive influence in kids lives from the side)

[saemihaw]

tw. mention of suicidal thoughts and emotional neglect and stuff

idk. my mom is still nice. Literally accepting I'm bi. Like adding and talking like about a man, or woman. in regards of if I'd be with someone etc u know.

Also didn't have any problem when I became a vegetarian aa long as I did resources about it and would prepare my own meals.

Very supportive, saying it's my life.

Still also showing in interest when I used to make lot of tiktoks and stuff. When I'd cosplay. When I'd be filming and editing at school and stuff.

We talk about tv shows we would watch and stuff.

Like most times she's very nice.

But then also she got mad and drove me to my room and yelling me to go there and ending both of us screaming we hate each other. because I'd go comfort and take my younger sib to a safe environment to calm down when they were clearly having an panic attack and was frozen in place and she'd keep yelling at them still.

So I walk them upstairs and stay there hug them reassure them wait until they're feeling more better before then having a talk with my parents about this.

But no I don't understand how serious this situation is I don't understand why they're so mean and harsh because this is serious and they're just trying their best and I'm being unfair and harsh towards themmm. So you jump from your chair to drive my upstairs and stay mad at me for days for that?

Very cool. Very Very Cool. 👍

I am so unreasonable and don't understand at all whenever I'd go in between or have a talk with them about basic things sometimes. you know how a kid that age doesn't understand and you yelling over it won't in fact make this any better.

You do understand why these kids are acting out right? You do understand you're making it ten times worse by doing these things and here's how you could handle this better and here let me handle this and learn and jdjfufjdu

Sorry I yelled at you and had a long rant after you made my 5 year old sib cry for literally what reason you'd be mean?

Oh I'm just picking on everything you do I'm so unreasonable.

several of kids are crying they want to die one after another. And you ignore this and get mad about it when it's not just one time thing and it's making you feel uncomfortable and bad why can't they think how you feel hearing that :((

but yeah tell me how I don't understand how serious things are when I'm literally having to warn you that this is serious and they'd need help and if they refuse to get any I'm forced to.

But yes. completely reasonable for you to tell me you hate me because I wouldn't let these things just be. Clearly I don't understand the severity of this.

yess I am the unreasonable one.

But still you come ask me for my opinion with everything and what are my thoughts on how there's social workers coming here even though they tried refusing it to the very end and talking about it like this is more of a threat than help.

talking about it as more of a 'punishment' that's going to happen if one can't just stop showing signs of a clear struggling with mental health but coool

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Trying to explain how getting help is what they need. While hearing them talk how strangers are not coming to this house!

ufufufufyhgjchxj

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I think it also affected me hearing them threaten repeatedly how "if you can't get yourself together they're going to take you away" "you'll be taken away if you keep this up"

Also my mother would even say how if it keeps up like this she's literally considering to sent my sib somewhat because she can't handle this.

While they're themselves not being supportive at all and go to response is to use blame, quilt, naming, threatening and stuff

I wonder why they're doing so unwell.... yeah it's a mystery.....

I can't imagine how horrible that felt for my sib. I had panic attacks over those a lot and would be constantly there going in between that and defend my sib and try talk sense into my parents but I wasn't the one directly been told those things and been reacted that way for struggling.

But it still hurts hearing all those things too that also do apply to me because I struggle with those too but I somehow manage to hide them or it's ignored and I manage just enough for it to not become a problem for them.

It's alright if you want to die and struggle as long as it doesn't affect them directly.

I was lucky to manage just enough on my own. Also even though I did not want to move I'm lucky I had to just when I too was seriously struggling with school and in the end I then did not go there at all but it was fine because I lived alone. didn't leave my house for months sometimes.

Imagine feeling all that and simply being unable to do anything and on top of being constantly yelled and blamed over it anf kgjfhdhdjzjdhfh

thank god they have help now

But still.

Fuck I wish I was there. my parents are a lot better now that they've gotten help. but still I worry and I wish I was there supporting more and aaaaaa

I feel so horrible for not being able to be so present now.

[teenidleadultgirl]

thinking a lot about the narrative on ttpd trying to defend herself by saying that she "didnt" cheat [emotional cheating IS cheating, big doubt] and that she was "trying to fix" him and she thought he was a "safer" option than "starry" eyed joe but literally the entire reaction to her dating the rat bastard is that he was a fucking bigoted asshole.

coming to the conclusion that while she was prepared to fight off cheating allegations, she was not prepared to have people judge her character based on her romantic partner choice. and i think what she, and all the swifties that defend her choice to date that asshat, missed about the whole criticism of taylor is that "don't judge women by the actions of the men in their life" only gets you so far in that it only excuses the woman if she cannot get rid of that man without consequences or if she was unaware of his actions and distanced herself once she became aware of said actions or she was being abused.

however, tortured poets narrative makes it abundantly clear that she was pining about the rat bastard starting most likely in early 2020. not only that but she made the conscious decision to write and publish music about him and showed up at his concert while dating someone else. she states the reason she did these things is because her boyfriend was neglecting her and she needed safety in her life.

the rat bastard has years of stupid tweets being extremely problematic. he uses the r slur publically which means she was well aware of his usage of the word privately as she confirms in i can fix him. im sure he was sexist and racist in private too. everything about that man screams reddit edgelord. she ignored all of that by her own admission on this record. that is what people are judging her for.

nobody is saying omg ur responsible for that man saying these things. people were saying how can you stand to kiss someone like that? what qualities about him are so redeeming that you can ignore how shitty he is to demographics you're not affected by. like, the company you CHOOSE to keep around you says a lot about who you are as a person and i think that's what she missed in real time as it was all happening.

anyways, i think it's clear she missed all of that because she had a set narrative about who that person was to her in her life and she had an adverse reaction to people trying to tell her that person was awful and shitty and bigoted as fuck. there were a lot of fans speaking up directly affected by seeing a nonjewish person do a fucking nazi salute at their concert, for example, and how hurt they were by the fact that taylor would allow this type of behavior around her personally. that's a valid way to express concern over the people your favority celebrity hangs out with.

just like they are justified in asking taylor swift how she can stand to be nice to someone who defended a rapist and is a trump supporter publically. not only be nice to but hang out with and take photos with and be friends with publically.

anyways idk, i feel some type of way about how much of this record is taylor swearing she's not a cheater and how little time she spent tackling the actual issue with her relationships with fucking asshole humans.

[gothgirlsupremacy]

been a minute

i originally started writing on tumblr because i have no where or any one to talk to about my feelings without them getting offended or anything. i don’t even expect anyone to really read this so here we go.

things get hard and im always the one blamed. feels like no matter how hard i try in any friendship, relationship, etc i’m the problem and the blame always falls on me. i’m not perfect, far from it actually, but i try to be the best person i can. idk if it’s paranoia or what but i feel like people are always talking bad about me. i don’t know how to handle it at all. i just want to be enjoyed, treated nicely, be someone people wanna be around. recently it just doesn’t feel that way? i feel like i’m actively avoided, and people would rather do ANYTHING else than be around me. which is okay. the only way i know how to cope with any of these feelings is playing video games and ignoring the problem so that’s what ill probably do. i pray that in my life people are 100% honest with me, realistically they won’t be. i’m scared to lose everything and be back at my lowest but i’ve been told that just shows i don’t want things to change because i’m comfortable. is it my fault that every year i lose someone close to me? i mean i think i was valid in not wanting to lose more people but when i express my feelings they are just neglected or wrong think. no one takes the time to just step into my shoes and see my perspective on things. i don’t expect anyone to have that ability though, as i rarely ever have explained how my mind works. it feels like i hit these highs in my life emotionally, then i crash. i can’t explain my feelings properly and it ruins everything, and will probably ruin my best relationship too. i really do love her and hope the feeling is mutual, but i have the feeling that something has changed. i don’t feel appreciated at all, loved fully, or even taken seriously. this is how i’ve always felt at some point in any relationship though. i show someone my true colors, feelings, personality and they instantly take me for a bumbling retard.

[goofygargoyle]

I just realized: I got better treatment from ERs that I went into by myself under my own power (without injuries) than by the ER an ambulance had to take me to.

cw: medical neglect, explicit talk of body ... symptoms... stuff... damage? idk words. medical episode.

I had been delirious and dehydrated for days — along with not having eaten or taken any of my meds — and like. Not even an IV? My throat had been raw from vomiting, but sure let's give me fruit juice that hurt to drink in a cup that absolutely isn't made for people with dexterity issues. Ignore the fact that I thought the tip of my tongue might have actually been dead (it healed eventually so I think the numbness was from getting dried out???)

and just. Idk nobody fucking tried to check how well I wasn't to try to ease anything or help. I barely got acid reflux meds when I explicitly asked (since I have pretty severe gerd)

and like. I've gone to an ER one time just out of desperation, because my chronic illness is so untreated and I'd been rejected by so many doctors, and when they saw me they offered like. idr exactly but an IV that would have been like a hangover/malnutrition helper mix. Because they couldn't do anything for my skull but like since I was there and felt like shit maybe that would make me feel less shit? (I turned it down because I actually hate being in hospitals and wanted to just go home)

granted the recent ER visit they were overfull and like constantly forgot I was even there (until I wandered off to find somewhere quieter and darker to curl up, then someone tracked me down and told me I had to stay in the ER area even if it was bright and loud and full and I was being ignored on a gurney in a hallway) and the one where they were nice the ER was literally empty so they had like nothing else to do.

But, fuck, I was still delirious at the time! I was cognizant but very much not out of the delirium fully yet. And someone seriously should have given me a nourishing and rehydrating IV or something.

[sockiestupidity]

Papusa Making-Miguel O'hara x platonic teen reader

Description; Reader is the complete opposite of Miguel and does not easily trust, reader gets caught stress making papusas at ungodly hours by Miguel💀Alternatively:Miguel unexpectedly befriends the newest addition to spider society over food

no spanish bc im a no sabo kid🙈(sorry if he seems too white for y'all)

warnings- lowercase intentional, bad writing/bad grammar, fluff, angst??, implied abuse/neglect, ooc miguel(acts a lot like peter b.???), not proofread, idk what else, let me know if i forgot anything🤷‍♂️ the reader is gn!!! reader is also implied to be nonverbal bc i said so🥰

also the povs slightly change at some points (just ignore it🙏)

first time writing a fanfic pls be nice :))

it was dawning 4:00 am and y/n still had yet to fall asleep, their mind preoccupied with anxiety and paranoia, they took a deep heavy breath, and tried not to close their exhausted eyes. they squeezed their eyelids shut, feeling a headache approaching, and as soon as they did, images of their past events played. they quickly shook their head, trying to get those images out of their mind. as grateful as they were for having a place to stay at hq, they could not help but think about the comforts of their own home. despite the imposing threats of their home, there was almost something cathartic about sleeping on an old bed that was on the verge of falling apart. the young spider's new housing situation felt too safe, too quiet…to… comfortable. as a new spider, they did not know for how long these types of comforts would ve provided without a cost. they almost never slept, as they felt as if they did, these comforts would suddenly gone, as if it was all a sick joke, or a dream

suddenly y/n felt something wet drip down their cheek. "am i crying?" they thought to theirself.

they took another deep breath in, trying not to hyperventilate. in times like these, y/n would usually either bake or cook (only when their parents were not present) or they would just straight up bottle their emotions. y/n sighed as they weighed their options. despite their brains constant paranoia as to what might happen if they get caught baking, they decided to go against their paranoia for once.

as y/n quietly treaded towards the communal kitchen, making sure not to wake anyone up (AN: i imagine that hq house is just a rlly big ahh house so that why theres a communal kitchen). as they looked through the contents available, they remembered that a previous spider had make masa recently, and had leftover masa that desperately needed to be used. y/n also recalled how another spider had previously made pickled vegetables and cabbage and ended up not needing it. this gave the young spider an idea. they swiftly grabbed out the needed ingredients for papusa filling. which included beans, cheese, and loroco. y/n decided to make vegetarian papusas just incase other spiders were interested in eating them. since they basically acknowledged no one in spider society, y/n decided that this could at least be seen as a token appreciation for being taken into the society.

they happily began mixing, almost forgetting the previous events that were plaguing their mind, until a large, menacing figure was seen in their field of vision. y/n suddenly stopped mixing, their hands now trembling with fear, panic clouded their mind, and their eyes began to blur, as they began hyperventilating the figure got closer. in response, y/n decided to continue moving back until they were trapped in a corner of the room.

the figure suddenly came to a halt, y/n looked up to the figure, not being able to recognize the harsh features of the figure.

the figure held a hand up, as soon as the figure did, y/n flinched. the figure suddenly donned what looked like a frown. suddenly, the figure began to speak, "hey, its going to be alright kid, i need you to breathe with me okay?" y/n nodded, still trembling with fear.

the figure began to count with their fingers, "just follow my lead, alright? in for four seconds, hold for seven, and out for eight, alright?" the young spiderlings breathing soon began to calm down after the figure repeated the exercise. soon their vision began to clear, and as soon as it did, they realized that the figure was the stoic man who led the spider society.

he suddenly spoke again, "everything alright?" y/n nodded.

"what are you doing up so late?" he asked the young spider. y/n noted how it looked like he was attempting to soften his features for them.

y/n just simply gestured to the bowl of mix, as well as the pickled vegetables and bag of masa. miguel nodded.

"i have never made papusas before but i have made tamales, could i possibly help you out?" he questioned.

y/n pondered. could they really trust this man? miguel's stature was huge, and could easily take advantage of them. y/n looked down, trying to blink away tears.

miguel attempted a look of sympathy towards the newest spider. he had felt so bad for not monitoring your earth earlier than he decided to. he had seen what had happened after it was far too late. it frustrated him, those events weren't even canon, he could've done something if he had known, there was no need for you to go through that much pain. going through his loss of his daughter made him sympathize with you, not only did you remind him of gabriella, you also reminded him of himself. he felt obligated to take care of you because of your naivete not only that, but he also didn't want to see you go down the same path of destruction he went down.

he took a deep breath in and out, "i understand why you don't trust me, and i respect that alright? but i just want to make it clear that i would never do those things to you. i want you to be able to trust me" he explained to you.

y/n looked back up. he seemed to be trustworthy op enough. after all, he was a grieving father, and seemed as if he had really cared for his daughter.

y/n gestured towards miguel, then to the abandoned products, and then to themself.

"you want me to help you?" he asked, wanting to clarify that he interpreted your gestures right. you nodded in response. he responded with a rare smile.

the two of you got to work, mixing the filling and placing it into the masa. after all the papusas were finally finished with shaping, he finally spoke up.

"maybe next time i can show you how to make tamales, we can even incorporate the banana leaves as well" he suggested.

you pondered his suggestion and nodded with a smile. even though you often did not trust adults, miguel seemed like someone you could trust, and you found it admirable that he was willing to incorporate your culture.

"alright kid, lets cook these" the two of you began to cook the papusas. when the two of you were finally done with cooking the papusas, and cleaning the area, most of spiders in the hq housing were awake, as it was around 6:00 am (AN: realistically papusa making doesn't always take that long but just ignore it for the sake of the story🙏). some of the spiders heading towards the kitchen commented on how good the kitchen smelled.

one of the spiderpeople looked towards you, "did you do this?" they asked. you gestured towards yourself and miguel, miguel simply looked away, "the big bad boss helped you out?" they questioned in shock. the spiderpeople could not believe it. the cold, harsh man had helped you, the timid new kid make food? but it seems that the surprised chatter was soon silenced as people started to eat your papusas.

needless to say that they encouraged you and miguel to cook more often.

AN: if u got this far tysm for reading, i rlly do appreciate it-feel free to leave feed back, or interact in any way🥰 i was inspired to write this bc despite the amount of miguel x hispanic reader works there were, i felt like most of them were targeted towards mexican ppl (or like some of yall forget that other latin countries besides mexico exist) and i wanted to see some rep for salvadorans

[explorevenus]

hii! I hope you're having a nice day❤️

If you're not comfortable with the topic feel free to just ignore the ask! But I was just wondering... how would yan!Leon handle his darling having an ED?

Like, would he be more understanding if she didn't want to eat because of that and not cause she just wants to piss him off, as he first thought?

I've just been dealing a lot with EDs lately and a little drabble or just hearing your thoughts about it would help a bit :,) sorry for the little vent.

hiii sorry i'm late, i hope ur having a nice day too !!!! idk if this is at all what u were looking for but i hope it answers ur question and also maybe helps ;n; ily i'm sorry you're having a hard time, angel

tw: ed talk under the cut-- take care of urself and don't read if that's triggering for u !

as someone who also struggles with ed behavior i feel this and i wonder about it too. i think he would understand that she isn't doing it to upset him but at the same time he can't stand to see her neglect herself and for that reason he would have very little patience for it.

for one, he can't even wrap his head around how darling could possibly have any insecurities about herself. to leon, darling is scientifically perfect and it's literal blasphemy to think otherwise.

for two, leon doesn't understand ed's in the slightest. that man lives and breathes food and sincerely cannot even fathom why someone would want to starve themselves just to stay small, especially his darling. he really just can't comprehend the why of it, but he tries to.

for three, leon wants for nothing more than his darling to be healthy and happy, and he knows she can't be either of those things if she's obsessing over food and her body image. it gets to a point where he genuinely can't sleep at night if he isn't certain she's been eating at least a little bit and if she's not, he isn't above force feeding, especially if/when she's pregnant. in his eyes, it's for her own good.

in short i think he tries to be as understanding with her as he can manage while a) not understanding at all and b) trying to 'fix her' in some of the worst possible ways

at the end of the day though, as much as he hates to see her insecure about herself, at least it makes her easy to manipulate

[anglerflsh]

Idk if you were asking about American churches specifically (if yes feel free to ignore this, I just like talking about religious differences and giving my opinion), but the churches where I grew up (Southern France) were not as heavily decorated as baroque churches. So I tend to be uncomfortable in very decorated churches, bc I was taught the house of God was supposed to be nice, but still humble. Like you can have stained glass and statues of the saints + Mary and they are pretty tbh but to me heavy decoration is just flaunting and sort of being vain. I hope this makes sense???

it does make a lot of sense, I mean, that's. part of why protestantism exists, because the Catholic churches were way too over the top (along with 98 other things /j)

I completely understand why, coming from a place of a less decorated place, seeing a church be covered in gold plate would be jarring - I think it's a reflection of what you were taught was the way you should think of god (humble and close or personal to the people versus very distant and not-personal)

#I summarise it as The god of protestants (and similar) is an everpresent overbearer and the god of catholics is an absentee neglecter <- taking this out of my own tags because I stand by it