#idk i feel. bad.rn.

[xmurder-of-crowsx]

Is it wrong to feel icky.. and kinda self concous and worried about my own take on my characters when I see doubles.. like any time I see doubles. Who use fancy fonts fancy edits none i can do cuz im mobile bound,,and seem more better and popular than me at this.. is it wrong to feel like I'm doing it wrong. Or like I should just quit this cuz I'm not good at it. Is it wrong to wish I were in there shoes cuz I feel like I'll never be on there level of good? Cuz I feel like.. that every time I go through the william afton main tag tbh. And see many doubles who look better than me. Even tho I love rping my faves .. even tho. I'm probably not that good.. terrible even.. at this.. I feel sick even seeing them .. idk. I always had trouble w doubles but lately I try to ignore it. I also worry my followers flock to them and forget i even exist so usually I don't follow them or do anything w them for fear they will take away any chance I got at rping. I sometimes even block cuz of that feeling. It fuels my depression and anxiety. And just . Makes me feel like garbage. Hhh.. my self esteem is terrible tbh. Idk. Maybe im a bad person for feeling that way. Just expressing myself rn is all. Also I dont mind. Like multimuses w doubles of my characters cuz that still gives variety. But also. People who just follow me for fanart or memes.. I don't like that. I want people who will interact and not leave me in the dust yknow?