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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years ago

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“you make me so angry sometimes”

idk if this gif makes sense, but i feel like it will if you read the story, it just gives me that vibe.

A one shot I cooked up idk, it’s about Harry and a makeup artist on DWD, it’s quite angsty, idk how that happened, it’s also very long, idk how that happened either, maybe i do a part 2, maybe i don’t idk lmk. Feedback is appreciated, not proofread. REBLOGS help writers tremendously and i love reading whatever you write in the tags its my favorite thing!! Love yall and Merry Christmas!

Word Count: 17.7k | Warnings: ENEMIES to LOVERS! swearing, angst!, some anxiety -like self-doubt, yn being mean to harry kind of a lot, i dont remember, nothing too crazy, Nick Kroll?, lots of conversation

When she pictured herself as a makeup artist in Los Angeles, she hadn’t pictured exactly what she was doing right now.

She had expected doing gorgeous makeup for gorgeous actresses or doing wildly fun stuff like in Euphoria. And because of that she had worked her ass off to get where she was today. She had practiced for hours, worked countless hours for free, and networked to the cows came fucking home.

So why the fuck was she using tattoo-strength concealer to cover up the maybe 60 tattoos some asshole musician turned actor had all over?

Don’t Worry Darling was her first major film to work on so she couldn’t complain. She was happy to simply be there. Well she had been. The first day she had showed up 15 minutes early and had worn her favorite power suit she had. It was dark navy with a white lace long sleeve turtleneck underneath. She hoped to look fun but professional.

Hollywood was all about impressions, especially first ones, even when you’re the makeup artist. She had quickly learned that she was one of six makeup artists. One of them being the friend who had helped her get the job, Angie. Angie was like her surrogate mother in Los Angeles that she had met on her first film job for something much less high profile than Olivia Wilde’s second directing project. Her braided grey hair and fabulous jeans had drawn Y/N right in and they had connected instantly.

Since Y/N was deemed the most inexperienced by the head of the makeup department, she was relegated to easier jobs: assisting the other artists on main characters sometimes, mostly dealing with minor characters touch ups (and full make-up if she was lucky), and the job nobody wanted: tattoo coverage.

Harry Styles was one of the leads for the film and besides his minimal acting, everyone knew he was a worldwide rockstar. With the rock and roll life starting off as a popstar life at the ripe age of 16, he had amassed around 60 tattoos in the past decade. Impressive by her standard normally. She usually counted herself as an appreciator of tattoos and their art, finding them similar to makeup and the self expression that came with both forms. Especially since she had a few of her own, but when she walked into Trailer #6 and saw a good amount of Harry’s tattoos, she wanted to murder every artist he’d ever been to.

She had to make an inventory the first day of all of his visible tattoos when he was just wearing boxers. He had been friendly, trying to make conversation, but as the time wore on, they both grew tired and silent. She had to write down the location and a description of every tattoo and as he took off everything but boxers she grew more and more annoyed with his random and dumb tattoos. Some of them were amazing, the eagle, the anchor, the butterfly, and the ferns were probably her favorites. But some of them, she couldn't hold back her rolling eyes and annoyed expressions. The “Big” on his right big toe, a miniscule lock, almost everything on his inner left arm (the packers logo, Pingu, etc.)

She traces at the rose and the ship and then flips his arm out to reveal his inner arm to her gaze. “That is a big fucking bee.”

He snickers, “Y’like it?”

She ignores his question. “For god’s sake, someone is needle happy,” she said as she examined his left arm, taking note of every permanent drawing.

He shrugs his right shoulder, uninhibited by her prodding. “Dunno, beginning to regret some of them.”

“I would hope,” she mutters, scribbling on her paper the various ones she had just seen on his arm. Next was his ribcage ones.

He scoffs, “Oi, it’s not like you haven’t got any.”

“How would you-” She looks at him wide eyed.

“Right…” he takes his right hand and pushes her hair past her ear to reveal three little red line butterflies following the curve of her ear, “There. At least.”

She huffs and knocks his hand away from her. Her hair falling back into its place.

“Maybe some located in a few more intimate places I’m guessing from the red rushing to your cheeks right now.”

“Can you just let me do my job,” she says, not giving in to his teasing or sparing him a glance as she feels his intense gaze on her face. She was studying his left rib cage where a few cool tattoos happened to be.

“You at least have some taste or persuasive artists because not all of these are shit,” she speaks again after just the sound of her pen on the paper filled the trailer.

“Gee, thanks,” he laughs unamused and rolls his large green eyes.

She thought he had some of the biggest eyes she’d ever seen. But she also knew to keep that to herself because he’d either take it as a compliment and think she was noticing him too much or he’d take it as a massive insult and get her fired.

His right hand taps at his thigh, tapping a rhythm she didn’t care to pay any attention too. She just wanted to finish the stupid inventory of the stupid tattoos on this stupid man.

“Take those off,” she says to Harry, looking back at her clipboard again, filling up quickly with her notes.

He stands there, staring at her stubbornly. He was entirely bored with this exercise, especially since his company was some of the worst he’s ever had. She spares him a glance when she doesn’t notice any slipping off of the colorful sweatpants he’s wearing.

She arches a brow at him, her pen tapping impatiently against the paper. “Go on. Can’t imagine you want this to go on longer than it already has.”

He rolls his eyes again, slipping his thumbs into the waistline of the pants and tugging down. Simultaneously, he toes off the dirty vans he seemed to wear everywhere. The fabric pools easily and he steps out of them and discards them on the couch behind him. He’s actually wearing black briefs. She chooses not to notice anything further than that.

“Socks...can stay on,” She tries to say as he begins to peel one off. He stops midway and nods.

She flings his shirt to him, not needing to see his naked torso for another moment, “I know you’ve got some feet and ankle tats, but I also know that you won’t be wearing anything that will expose them. Thank your lucky stars that I don’t have to makeup your feet.”

He catches the shirt easily and slips his arms inside before tugging it quickly over his head and over his expansive shoulders. The ferns disappear out of sight.

“Well then we’re almost done then. Just got the knee ones -”

“And the tiger. That’s gonna be one son of a bitch,” she sighs and examines his legs, not bothering to crouch.

“What the actual fuck dude?” Her tone is exasperate and like she would rather be anywhere else than here.

“I’m sorry?” He sputters, hands on his hips and eyes bewildered.

“Yes. No. Oui. Non. Who are you?” She rubs at her eyes and shakers her head.

“S’a little rude.”

“You’re right,” she semi-rushes out at his serious tone, ready to apologize. When a grin spreads over his face and he chuckles under his breath she really wants to smack him upside the head. He was exhausting. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Thought it was funny at the time. Kind of think it’s even funnier now since it’s got you all mad.” He leans over her shoulder to look at her notes and when she glances at him unhappily he just looks smug.

“Alright,” she finishes the scribble of a description and clicks the end of her pen, “All done. You can get dressed. I’ll see you bright and early for tattoo makeup. It’s gonna take about an hour to do all this, just so you can mentally prepare for that.”

“It was nice to meet you,” he attempts at a friendly and professional farewell. “See you tomorrow…” he trails off as he watches her turn on her heel and walk out of the trailer door swiftly. The door swung shut and bounced a little bit in her wake.

Harry sighed and adjusted his clothes and hair in the mirror. After a moment he shakes his head, an even louder sigh escaping him.

“Good morning!” She greets happily, walking into the trailer without a knock. Well-rested and happy at least that she doesn’t have to just inspect a body, she looks around the trailer.

She realizes no one is there and she’s taken aback. First of all, if Harry wasn’t there then he shouldn’t have left his trailer unlocked. And second, he was fucking late, the fucking twat.

She grumbles, setting her coffee on the countertop. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “In through the nose, out through the mouth” she mutters. She knew this was a big opportunity and having a big star like Harry in her corner could make her career. She needed them to get off on a better foot today.

“Good form, I’d say relax the shoulders a little more,” the door swings open carrying the California twang-British accent that she would soon become all too accustomed to.

Harry points at her shoulders and narrows his eyes regarding her in the trailer. She offers a strained smile through the mirror and Harry sets down his personal things on the couch.

“Alright, well let’s get started shall we,” she smiles and turns to him, gesturing to the swivel chair next to her.

He nods, a twinkle in his eye as he regards her. He’s unsure of the tone and attitude she’s giving him today. She had been feisty yesterday, cordial at times, but mostly biting and witty. He had liked it. It had made the whole ordeal bearable whereas now she seemed to be laying it on a little thick.

“Just your hands and neck today,” she says, pulling out the makeup materials needed and a checklist of the tattoos she needed to make sure were invisible.

“Should only take..a little under an hour today. Just gonna remind you now though, other days we won’t be so lucky.”

Harry chuckles under his breath and rolls his head around his shoulders before sitting in the chair. “Were you tired yesterday?” He inquires.

“Why do you ask?” She throws a glance over her shoulder at Harry. He’s begun slipping off his sweatshirt and yawns as he does it.

“You seem different from yesterday and I’m just wondering which one is the real you.”

She continues working about the room and rolls her eyes to herself, “I’m always the real me. I come no other way, but this morning I woke up and thought ‘this is the job you’ve fucking wanted for ages, so stop being such a bitch so you don’t get fired, you prick’.” She pauses and turns to face Harry. “The ‘you prick’ was directed at me, that was still part of my thought,” she adds.

He throws his head back and laughs. Then he nods, still laughing lightly, “I get that. Sometimes I’m just so in my head and yesterday I was just so fuckin’ bored. Sorry if I got on your nerves.”

“Don’t mention it.” She waves her hand at him nonchalantly.

Then she moves to inspect his hands and notices the lack of rings, unlike yesterday when she had to make him take them off.

“You have amazing cuticles,” she notices and mentions without any pretences. Harry mutters his thanks, pursing his lips as he watches her work.

She stops her inspection and places the clipboard on the countertop in front of them.

“Could you take your necklaces off? I need to cover up half of the swallows and the years, for when you unbutton your shirt a bit.”

He wets his lips and nods, hands going to fiddle with the clasps behind his neck. He slips off one of the necklaces with ease, a yellow eye beaded necklace that he lays gently on the countertop next to the clipboard. Then he takes his cross and pulls it over his head, no clasp needed.

“Could I put some music on?” Harry asks after five minutes of Y/N working in silence and Harry only being able to stare either at himself, her work, or nowhere.

“I can,” she stops her work for a moment, “Can’t have you messing up the makeup before it sets. Otherwise I’d have to kill you.” Harry can’t be sure if she’s joking or not. Therefore, he was intent on not messing it up.

“Any requests?” She stands at the counter now, instead of seated on a stool working on Harry's left hand.

He shrugs, like he hasn’t got the faintest idea about good music. She refrains from rolling her eyes once again because she feels herself in a test. She wets her lips, sifting through different things in her Spotify and then lands on her playlist titled “it’s your song” named after Elton John’s song. It had some other musicians, a mix of Queen, Bowie, and more and she was sure she would pass the test.

She presses shuffle and She’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel begins to play over her laptop. Harry nods pleased and she wants to shake her head at him.

She can’t hold back the scoff though after a moment of going back to finishing his hand.

“What?” His British accent thickens with his annoyance growing.

“Nothing,” she chirps, intently putting the final touches on his wrist.

“Seriously. What?”

She stands and sets down the makeup. “Can you unbutton your shirt?” She made a note to herself that from now on she’d have to have him take his shirt off before setting to work because if his hands got messed up she’d have to start over. Thankfully he was already wearing a button up this morning.

He stares at her, offering no movement, just inquisitively waiting for her to respond to his original question.

She shuts her eyes, taking another deep breath and then bites at her lower lip. “It’s just...you’re so easy to read.” She fears adding anything else and moves towards him with the makeup hoping to encourage him to unbutton his shirt.

His right hand deftly pulls at the buttons as he regards her. His eyes are intent on her, she can see him clearly calculating her. Her green paisley button up tucked up into the back of her bra leaving a splay of her stomach. The semi-balloon sleeves cinched at the wrists leading to her slightly ringed hands. The oversized blue jeans that have no holes, just a tiny patch right next to the left pocket. The frayed ends of the pants laying over her rather pristine white old skool vans.

The Boxer fades in as she waits for him to finish the unbuttoning of the shirt. He’s still staring at her.

“Am I?” He finally inquires, voice pitched higher like he doesn’t believe her.

She gives him a serious stare and leans over him and adjusts the collar of his shirt. She adds paper towels to avoid makeup on his clothes.

“Yes!” She laughs, “And you don’t even think so, which is like...of course.”

He hums, tilting his head back as she sets to work on covering up the swallows. He wiggles his hands that now both rest on the arm chairs.

“I don’t see it.”

“Of course you don’t,” she glances at his face, their eyes meeting for a moment. “You’re Harry Styles. Everyone is in love with this image you created for yourself and it has just enough of your true self that people feel like they really know you, but you also maintain the illusion. So you think you’re this mysteriously amazing, not like the rest guy, but you are just like the rest of them. Obsessed with yourself and rich so you’re deemed eccentric rather than crazy for all the extravagant shit you do. So when you want me to play music and don’t offer any suggestions I know exactly what music I need to play for you to like me.”

“I feel like that last part says more about you than it does me,” he quirks a brow at her, straining his neck to look at her face as she continues to work.

She flushes, his response both better and worse than she expected. She had gotten a little carried away in her response and she had no idea why. She truly wasn’t one to go off on people so easily and especially not with someone she hardly knew, but something about Harry had her on edge. She was just thankful he hadn’t gotten mad at her response, instead he took it in stride. Further proving her point that he was extremely smart and did things purposefully and she saw right through it all.

She grumbles, “It says that all anyone has to do to get close to you is understand the smallest bit about you and you’ll let them in.”

“That is just so completely wrong, Y/N, I hate to break it to you.” It’s Harry rolling his eyes now, unable to move much more of his body as she continues painting on the concealer to remove his tattoos for the movie.

“Fine. Enlighten me on what I got wrong.”

Their argument had all but drowned out their music. They both did love this music and ironically if they would just shut their mouths, they’d probably like each other a lot more.

“Might as well,” he sighs. “First of all, my image is authentic and of course I don’t want to give myself all away. I enjoy my privacy and for everyone to truly know me I’d have to give that up. Which I’m not keen on. So, I regret to inform you but I am the same guy everyone is “in love with”. Second, I know I am a little self-involved, how else would I get here if I wasn’t constantly taking inventory of myself and reevaluating who I am. As a musician, I want to give as much of myself as possible or else it just feels inauthentic. And the extravagant thing, I can’t help that I like nice things and my job has allowed me to afford those things.”

He stops to take a deep breath and she’s working in stunned silence, in disbelief that Harry is even telling her any of this or that he’s spoken that much and so quickly. Wasn’t he notorious for speaking slowly with barely even a sentence worth of actual information. He sounds tired and frustrated, but also, surprisingly, sincere.

He continues, “The music thing. Maybe it was a test, but still it doesn’t mean I give everyone a mile when they say their favorite musicians match up with mine or something. I note that they either did their homework or might be an interesting person to get to know.”

“So which am I?” She widens her eyes.

“Obviously the second even if you’re also making it painfully clear that you don’t like me.”

“You’re smarter than I thought, Harry. I’ll give you that,” she smirks slyly, finishing up the bird coverage now.

He laughs. “Thanks,” he drawls out.

“And I admit that maybe you aren’t as easy to read as I made out, but I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree about the whole being your authentic self. I just don’t buy it. I can see your mind working constantly, you’re not one to just let yourself be free in public. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I’m just saying, you shouldn’t pretend like that’s not what you’re doing.”

Her final thought leaves Harry silent. She pays no attention to his silence or at least she’s actively ignoring it. Instead she tunes back into the music that had gotten them back onto the wrong foot. This was going to be a long few months.

When she’s satisfied with her work, she has them sit there for thirty minutes to give it all time to set before Harry is off to hair and other makeup. They sit there listening to music. Neither of them have spoken again, except instructions from her and Harry’s hums of approval of songs.

Harry stands up after thirty minutes as she stays behind to pack up some items. Just as he’s about to step out of the door, he turns and calls her name.

“For the record, I don’t think you’re giving me a fair shot. You said yourself that you’re different every day. That every version of you, is you. So I hope you’ll give me the same allowance, every version of me is me. In this trailer, in my music videos, on tv, in interviews, in my free time. It’s all truly me.”

She bites her inner cheek as he ducks his head and exits the trailer, not allowing her any response.

“You’re late!”

“Meeting ran over with Nick and Olivia. Sorry,” Harry says as he begins to undress.

It’s the first day she has to cover all of his tattoos. It was going to take forever by all accounts. It had been two weeks since shooting had begun and she had gotten the simple hands and neck down to 45 minutes so she could only dread what his entire body would take.

“It’s fine,” she grumbles, knowing there wasn’t really anything else she could say about him coming late from a meeting with the director and producer.

Over the last two weeks, they hadn’t grown any fonder of one another. Not at all. They at least had gotten into a system though and she was grateful for that at least.

They showed up, Harry got in his chair, she set up the music, and they got to work. Harry would practice lines on some days and he’d tell her that before she turned on the music so there were no interruptions. Sometimes they talked about stuff on set or music or she’d give Harry his line when he was trying to be off script and forgot one. She wouldn’t classify it as pleasant, but they weren’t at each other throats like they were originally.

Trailer 6 had gotten a little homier as the weeks went by, too. Harry began leaving some of his stuff there and he started putting up silly drawings he would make while on set or polaroids people had taken with him while he was there. He tacked up napkins of restaurants that catered the set and wrote funny jokes and quotes on post it notes. His personal assistants sometimes brought in snacks while Y/N was still working and Harry always offered her some. They were usually healthy, but sometimes she’d eat some. Jeff, his manager, had also stopped by on occasion during his tattoo touch-ups that had become a thing after shooting days had grown longer.

On first meeting, Jeff had said, “Y/N? Harry mentioned you.”

She had turned to Harry with an arched brow and he had shrugged. When she looked back at Jeff she didn’t see Harry give Jeff one of the deadliest looks he could muster. She had grimaced and said “Well we spend enough time together for him to know my name. So thank god for that at least.”

They had all laughed and she had gotten back to work on Harry’s wrist.

Today, she needed Harry in his shorts. It was the first day of shooting where his character would be only in his boxers so she had to cover up all his visible tattoos. Olivia had told the makeup department they actually had to cover up his feet tattoos as well. She wanted him sockless in the scene and Y/N had groaned immediately when she made it to the trailer and Harry wasn’t already there.

“But please, for the sake of my job, strip, dude.” She says, arms crossed over her chest and leaning against the counter as she watched Harry set his things down. Her soft green striped cardigan is open, exposing the white tank top sitting underneath. Her bright green shorts hang loose on her, cinched at the waist and folded over once. Her white high top nike’s tap impatiently on the floor, waiting for Harry to get moving.

He nodded, truly feeling sorry for his tardiness, knowing today was a long day. He was anxious and tired. Acting was a different experience to music and he just was really trying his best.

As he began to take off his shirt, he laughed. His arms pulled the shirt over his head and when it popped out from beneath it, he repeated, “Strip, dude,” attempting to mimic her American accent.

He had practiced his American accent in front of her while running lines, but it had a 50’s drawl to it. His acting coach had been drilling him for weeks before shooting and he still liked to practice. The accent he had just down was far off from that and far off from hers too.

“Do not,” she warned.

“What?” He asks innocently and flutters his eyelashes.

She knows his game by now and she knows she should just ignore him. She knows this after fourteen days. She knows this after hours with him. She knows this, but then she’s opening her mouth and playing into his teases.

“Sorry, what’s a word you would know? Mate?” She tries for a British accent with the last word, knowing she can’t win this.

Harry snickers and scratches at his nose with his index finger before starting on taking off his pants. “You’re so Californian.”

“Thank you,” she chirps, moving to sit beside him now that he had settled.

“I like your shorts,” he muses, crossing his legs, likely a little cold.

She glances down at her cotton shorts that showed more of her thighs when she sat for a moment before returning her gaze to his left arm. The longest task of the day was this damn arm.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, “Wanted to be comfortable today. Knew it was gonna be long.”

A smile bubbles onto his face, his pink lips parting to reveal his shiny white teeth behind them. “So true.”

The music is low today. She had chosen Joni Mitchel’s Blue album for the first pick of the day. She had quickly learned Harry preferred listening to albums in order. It tended to make him less jumpy when the same artist came on multiple times like an album. So when she tried to play just an album one day, she found him more cooperative and less irritable.

After thirty minutes of work, she can’t stop noticing how shivery Harry is. It was late October in LA, so it was still warm, but admittedly the mornings could be a little chilly. His shivering was concerning for many reasons. Mainly he was messing up her work and concentration, but she also didn’t want him to get sick or something.

“Do you want me to see if they have a blanket and slippers or something? You look like you’re turning blue.”

Harry turns his attention to her. He had been reading over the script for today again. “That’d be great. I can call…” He trails off trying to think of the name of one of his assistants, but apparently he’s too scatterbrained for it. She assumed it was the hypothermia traveling to his brain already.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll walkie someone.” She says as she grabs the walkie talkie, flicking to the personal assistants channel.

“Hey,” she chirps happily. Harry noted how she talked to other people. So sweet, yet sincere. With him, it was serious and sincere but more biting, callous at times. Less so lately, but she definitely was sharper with him. He didn’t know if it even bothered him anymore. She was engaging if nothing else.

“Is someone free to bring two blankets and men’s slippers over to Trailer 6? I’ve got a naked Jack and I don’t want him freezing before I’m done covering up his tattoos.” She takes her finger off the talking button and glances sideways at him, “Who knows, maybe that would improve his acting. Y’know on second-thought-”

“Alright, alright,” Harry tries to grab for the walkie talkie, but she turns from him holding a finger up signalling him to wait as she listens for a response.

Someone says a simple “On it” and she turns off the walkie talkie and gets back to work.

“I took my finger off the speaker before I said the thing about your acting. Relax, Harry.” She says when he’s still glaring at her. “Just love to see you squirm.”

He shakes out his short chestnut hair, some of it falling over his forehead. Instinctively, she reaches up without even looking and smooths it back. Like she was tucking her own hair out of her eyes, but instead it was Harry’s. She decided to say nothing and was relieved when Harry didn’t say anything either.

She finishes his forearm and moves to his outer upper arm. The rose holds her attention when the PA knocks on the door and she has to race to get it. Nothing could stop her from moving on this work. It was already an hour in and she wanted to scream.

She swings open the door and she wants to die. It was Autumn. Her least favorite PA, of course. She was insufferable and obsessed with Harry. Which was not why Y/N found Autumn insufferable. There were so many more reasons. So many. But that particular character flaw didn’t help her case either. Y/N tried to just take the blankets and slippers from Autumn, but the woman insisted that she come in.

“I’ve got it,” Y/N says.

“No, don’t want you to get makeup on anything,” Autumn’s saccharine voice grinds at her ears and she contemplates cutting them off.

Harry sat in his chair, legs crossed, nodding along to the music, his script discarded on the counter in front of him.

“Hi Harry!” Autumn practically yells, walking right up to him.

Y/N takes a deep breath at the door, letting it swing shut. She bites her lower lip as an attempt to bite her tongue as she walks back to her set-up. The set-up Autumn was conveniently blocking.

“Hello, Autumn,” Harry says kindly, making eye contact with her. “How’re you today?”

“So great! So great! Thanks for asking. How are you?” She points a finger at him like she might poke him and Harry squirms away from her a bit. She, of course, doesn’t notice this.

“Well, thanks.” His eyes flicker to Y/N, who is standing behind Autumn, hands on her hips and attempting not to tap her foot. His tone is clearly dismissive, but Autumn must ignore it. Y/N knows Autumn isn’t as helpless as she tries to come off.

Autumn asks, “Where do you want these?”, gesturing to the two blankets and slippers stacked on top.

“Just on the counter is fine, thanks,” Harry says.

Autumn does as he says and then stands there with baited breath. Y/N’s not sure what she’s expecting. For Harry to ask for her hand in marriage or something? But he just glances between the two women. His own foot begins wiggling in impatience.

“Busy day,” He attempts at dismissing her once again - with kindness.

“Oh my gosh, totally!” Autumn gushes, starting to go off on all of the tasks she has to do. She stands so close to Harry, Y/N genuinely thinks she’s going to sit in his lap. Y/N stares up to the ceiling, begging god or whoever to end her misery right there and then.

Harry sees Y/N’s expression and tries to maintain the neutral expression he’s had for the entirely too long interaction. A smile threatens at his rosey lips that had chapped from the morning air.

“Right, well,” he cuts off Autumn, “Y/N needs to get back to tattoo coverage, I think. So...have a nice day.”

Autumn’s eyes widen like she forgot that there was anyone else in the room and steps back from Harry. Y/N nods, a grimace clear on her face. Autumn gives her the same small she used to get from the popular girls in high school when she happened to be talking to their cool guy friend that they wanted to be more than friends with. Sickeningly sweet and completely fake. She could see the contempt in Autumn’s eyes that swirled just beneath the surface of her perfectly outlined green-ish eyes.

“Okay! You too, Harry!” She begins walking to the door and Y/N takes her seat again, closing her eyes and counting to ten. “And Y/N,” Autumn adds as an afterthought.

“Oh my fucking god,” Y/N sighs, her hands going to rub over her face and through her hair. “That was exhausting. Jesus Christ.”

“What? She’s nice. Maybe a little clueless,” Harry counters. “But she was so nice,” he confirms again, seemingly trying to convince himself of it as well.

She grabs the slippers and slips them on the ground so Harry can put them on easily. Then one of the blankets that she drapes over Harry’s bottom half. He smiles at the gesture, a ‘thank you’ said in a whisper.

“Please, she knows what she’s doing,” Y/N scoffs, “And she’s obsessed with you!” She grabs the concealer to get back to work, “She was all over you and never took her eyes off of your body. It was like she wanted to touch you or something. It was icky.”

“You touch me,” Harry adds cheekily, adjusting beneath the warm blanket.

She laughs, a smile gracing her lips as she gives Harry a look. He was clever.

“It’s my job to touch you, Harry.”

Harry had really tried to not laugh, but it was just so funny. They both snicker, their eyes meeting for a moment longer than usual.

“Speaking of my job,” she adds after controlling her laughter, “Does she not realize just how long it takes to cover all of your bloody tattoos with this shit to make it look like you’re a pristine skinned 50’s psycho killer?”

She finishes the rose coverup and moves to the ship. Harry nods solemnly.

“It’s true...And it doesn’t help that you’re terrible at it, so it takes a thousand years longer than it should.” He adds, laughter overtaking his serious tone at the end.

“Oh my god!” She shrieks in delight, trying not to mess up her work, “That is so rude! I messed up one time - mostly because of you, by the way. And give me a break, this is so not what I thought I’d be doing as a makeup artist for movies.”

He nods again, muttering “Fair, fair.”

They grow silent, enjoying Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, the album that she had queued after Joni’s.

“The body thing, I just learned to ignore it, I think.” Harry mutters, eventually, but it’s thoughtless, like he’s not revealing anything about himself with the statement. But it kind of shocks her. Her eyes widen and she stops her work to stare at his face.

“Harry,” she waits till his eyes meet hers, “That’s, like, not normal. Are you serious?”

“I mean, I’m very comfortable with my body, like I haven’t minded the last 45 minutes of sitting practically nude in front of you. And I have plenty of revealing photos out in the world. I just don’t notice staring anymore, it’s not, I don’t think it’s what you’re thinking,” he tries to reassure her. His eyes are intent on hers, full of seriousness that hadn’t been there a few moments ago.

“It’s one thing to be comfortable in your skin and another to be desensitized to objectification,” she insists.

He nods. “I know. Thank you. I would let you know if what she had done had bothered me, so don’t worry. I felt completely safe the whole time.”

“Good,” she nods back and concentrates again. “Good,” she repeats once more under her breath. There had been way too many distractions already today and she wasn’t even done with his arm yet.

As she continues to work up his arm, Harry sings along to some of the songs on Elton’s album. He happily taps his feet to the different beats, now safely tucked in soft fluffy slippers. She would never admit just how amazing it is to be in the same room as Harry’s singing. It was truly special to be less than a foot from him and hear him sing just under the unique voice of Elton - who was someone he actually knew, which was equally as cool.

He hit every note and knew every word. She was impressed. How could she not be when a literal rockstar sat before her? This was the first time she was truly starstruck by her charge, Mr. Harry Styles.

By two hours, they had moved onto an album by Dolly Parton and they were both singing. They strangely had no fights today, maybe some snarky comments from both of them, but no outright mean-spirited words were exchanged.

She stood in front of Harry, finishing up the swallows. She had finished both arms and the birds, all she had left was moving down his body. Up next, the butterfly.

“I love this tattoo,” she mumbles, twisting Harry’s standing body to face her and taking her seat again. This left her eye to eye with the butterfly on his stomach.

He makes a surprised face and raises his recently plucked eyebrow at his counterpart. “Oh really?”

“Don’t act so surprised. I told you day one that not all of them are rubbish and honestly they’re all pretty cool. I just was so annoyed that I had gotten tattoo coverage as my job and then I had to go and index them all.” She flicks her eyes up to his sculpted face and sees he’s watching her work. “Plus, I have some butterflies of my own, remember?” She grins.

“Yeah,” he ponders her words, “I don’t think that’d put me in a good mood either.”

He pauses again and she continues to work silently.

“So what’s your excuse for the second day then?”

“You provoked me,” she doesn’t spare him a glance, shrugging like it was the simplest answer in the world.

“Pardon?”

“Let’s not go down this road again, Harry.” She sighs, smoothing over the freshly covered butterfly tattoo. His sternum looked so naked, it was unnerving. Now the ferns.

Harry involuntarily shivered when her fingers traced over the ferns lightly, taking note of the expanse of skin she’d have to cover.

“You’re right,” he agrees, “But agree to disagree on the provocation.”

“Sure,” she says curtly, focusing on his skin and her job.

The expanse of skin that the ferns inhabited was slightly fleshy and especially soft. It bordered where his boxers began and she ignored that part of his body completely. It was of no importance to her and she really had no issue blocking it from her vision, even when it was right in front of her. She finishes one fern with Harry jumping only twice from her cold hands. He couldn’t put his robe on until the makeup had all set for half an hour so he’d have to be cold for possibly another hour still.

She traces the fern that is still visible and Harry shivers. She instinctively shushes him softly and his body quiets. As she works, her hair splays around her shoulders and Harry looks down at her working and doesn’t realize what his hand is doing until it’s too late. His right hand runs over her hair, smoothing it out of her face. It was rarely ever down, so it must have been the novelty of it.

“Sorry, I-” he chokes out when he jerks his hand back.

She sits back, slightly taken aback. Her body flushes just from their positioning and what a hair caress would mean normally in this position, but she’s a professional and she shakes it off.

“It’s fine. We’re even.” She assures him, breaking eye contact with his own wide eyes. “Seems like we’re both hair touchers.”

“It’s just so soothing,” Harry muses. “I think it’s human instinct to touch other people’s hair since it’s so enjoyable for yourself.”

“Possibly,” her voice raises, his thought was definitely plausible. Or maybe they were just two touch starved people who were very much in each other’s personal space 24/7.

At the two and a half hour marker, she gets a walkie message from Olivia’s assistant asking when they’d be done. She had just finished the tiger tattoo, which had been surprisingly easy. It took a while, but Harry didn’t shiver once and neither of them pet each other’s hair.

“Probably 40 minutes, sorry. He has a lot of tattoos and the makeup needs to set.” She says seriously and gets back to work, barely regarding the response of “Yeah it’s fine, just wanted an estimate”.

“Jesus,” Harry moans as she covers up his knee tattoos.

She groans in veiled disgust, “Did I just hit a secret erogenous zone? Is that why you have ‘oui’ there, you creep?” There’s a teasing tone behind the nickname she uses.

Harry laughs and runs his hand over his face, pulling at his jaw and lower lip. His jaw is so sharp, she watches him adjust it. “No, no. I’m just so goddamn tired of this.”

“And it’s not your fault,” he adds, feeling bad immediately after he said it. “It’s actually been nice today, but I’m feeling antsy, like I need to move. I don’t like to sit still.”

“I know,” she says under her breath. She simply nods in agreement.

Finally, the tattoos are all covered up and set. They had talked about George Michael when she got to his ankle tattoos that she hadn’t seen before and they laugh about the tattoos and chat a bit more. She helps him slip on his robe that he keeps in his closet in the trailer and then follows him out of it. They had decided they were hungry and he had been pushed back an hour since he had taken so long, so he had a free half-hour.

As they walked to craft services, they talked about actual things besides work. She was pleasantly surprised by what Harry talked about. It was more than music or the movie. It was the tv show he was currently obsessed with and how he hated LA’s traffic the most out of all of his dislikes for the city. She couldn’t help but grin at his Los Angeles slander. She loved this side of him.

Breakfast together after finishing his tattoo coverage became their regular thing. He would come into the trailer, racing from his morning meeting accompanied with tea for two, they’d get his tattoos covered as quickly as possible, and then they’d eat together.

They’d save their “in-depth” chats for breakfast. In early November, he joked about No Nut November and insisted he really wouldn’t have a problem with it - which had made her laugh. They worried together over the U.S. presidential election and meditated together in his trailer to Fleetwood Mac.

Around late November, Harry had requested that Y/N just do his face makeup as well, just to simplify his life a little more and the department had agreed easily. She had to spend extra time on set getting lectured on how to properly do Harry’s makeup, but after two days she stopped getting notes about it. She was so extremely proud and thankful to Harry for doing that.

All he said was: “I mean, you’re extremely talented so I’m not scared of you fucking up my face. Plus, it does make my life easier. Two birds with one stone.”

In late November, he told her about his favorite holiday drinks at Starbucks and what he was getting his mother for Christmas.

When the Vogue cover came out, he laughed over that woman who responded to his cover saying the world needed to bring back manly men. He joked that he was going to really push that from now on, that he was a manly man, and he would sputter with laughter every time he tried to say it with a straight face.

He hand delivered her a special ‘Treat People With Kindness’ sweatshirt that he only had for the cast and crew of the film. Most everyone got them from a PA, but Harry decided since you saw him first in the morning, why not.

He told her about him winning Hitmaker of the Year from Variety when he had left the award sitting in Trailer 6 and about how weird it was to film acceptance speeches in an empty room. His smile had lit up the entire set that day and the day he did his interview on set. He was so smiley she had to bump him with her elbow because he wouldn’t stop smiling at her and it was unnerving.

“Stop that,” She muttered.

“Stop what?” He smiles wider.

“That!” She squeaked, her head shaking as she ducked it to regard his anchor tattoo. “You’re smiling too much.”

“Oh no,” he says sarcastically, “God forbid I be happy.”

“It’s not that,” she bumps his thigh with her elbow, trying to keep her own smile off her face, “Your face is just so intense when you smile. Feels like you’re gonna burn a hole through me.”

He laughs, completely unconvinced, “You just don’t want me to be happy is what I’m hearing.”

She rolls her eyes, “Whatever, dude.”

She saw he was serious about the ‘manly men’ references when the Variety photos came out and everyone and their mom posted the pictures with some variation of that comment as their caption.

She still found that she rolled her eyes at some of the things Harry did, but she genuinely counted him as a friend by the time December had rolled around.

Over three hours, almost always completely alone, doing work for a job you both care deeply about can really make or break a relationship. And that first full-body coverage day had made them stronger together. After that, Harry and her would banter with one another, but there was never anything intentionally cruel. Just friends giving each other shit sometimes. Harry had been right, he had changed her mind about him. And she had realized that that was who Harry was. He was a deliverer. If you didn’t like him at first, he would try and try again until you did, but he did it in a way that wasn’t weasley or anything. It was terribly genuine and she saw it in every relationship he had on set.

On several occasions she had witnessed his friendship with Nick Kroll. A man she had regarded with dislike before the film. She had quickly realized that dislike was misplaced, but she maintained that it was just because she hated adult cartoons - citing that she literally refused to be friends with any person who willingly watched the Simpsons, Family Guy, and/or American Dad and all of those similar shows.

Nick was far nicer and less weird than she had realized. So she quickly shot her friend from high school an apology text for all the Nick Kroll slander she had spouted back in the day. Her friend had rejoiced but also said how jealous she was that Y/N got to see him regularly on set.

Nick and Harry got along great. Harry generally got along better with older people, she noticed when she was introduced to his friends on the somewhat frequent occasion. Trailer 6 was where Y/N saw most of these reactions take place. She would be introduced in the first minute and then she would smile politely and get back to the work of covering up Harry’s numerous tattoos.

Harry would say something simple and Nick, the literal famous comedian, would laugh. In the beginning she’d raise a brow, confused because it truly wasn’t that funny, but as Harry’s friend now, she kept her mouth shut.

Nick would come and sit on the couch while she’d work and eventually all three of them would chat. Sometimes she would get up to go to the bathroom during those morning chats and she would look in the mirror and think to herself “How are you casually talking to these two men right now” and then she’d think “Because you are a boss ass bitch, you got this” and go back out there with a smile on her face.

“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?” Nick asked on the first Friday morning of December.

She looks up from Harry’s cross tattoo that was half covered. Harry was reading, a book casually propped in his right hand and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. He glanced at the other two in the room. Nick had been getting some work done before he had spoken.

“No plans,” she states simply before getting back to work. It wasn’t full body today, but it was arms and torso, so kind of a lot still.

“You should come over for dinner at my place with Harry,” Nick smiles kindly. His scruff was really coming in today. “To celebrate us almost wrapping the first half of the movie.”

Harry had thankfully freshly shaved before he sat down. It was her least favorite part of her new job. Whenever he came in for touch ups and she had to shave his afternoon shadow. She was terrified she’d cut him and never live it down from her department or Harry. She had no idea which would be worse.

“My wife will be there too, of course,” he adds, hoping to entice her to say yes.

Harry glances between Y/N and Nick again before focusing on his book again.

She purses her lips, finishing Harry’s hand and moving onto the anchor tattoo. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t know why I’d say no. As long as I’m not intruding on the throuple,” she grins up at Harry.

He stares at her with his big green eyes, slightly obscured behind his prescription glasses. He raises his brows and wiggles them a little bit, teasingly.

Nick laughs and slyly winks at Harry through the mirror. Y/N none the wiser as she removes all traces of Harry’s tattoos.

“Great!” He claps his hands and stands up. “We’ll talk or I’ll make sure Harry gets you the info or something. I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. My wife’s been wanting to meet you,” he smiles again and walks out of the trailer.

She tilts her head at the last part. He talked about her to his wife. Did he really count her as that close of a friend? She was just a makeup artist and he was a producer… She glances at Harry and he gives away nothing. His jaw looks extra prominent and she knows it’s because he’s clenching it. He did that when he was focused or angry, remembering it bulging on the first day they met and how clenched it had been then.

“Unclench your jaw,” she mutters, “It’s not good for you.”

Harry hums and unclenches it.

He stretches his neck by rolling his head around his shoulders and she glances at the movement. His skin is still beautifully sun-kissed and his pores look so soft, only his moles change the texture of his skin. She loves his moles though, they make him especially unique in her eyes. Not that he needed anything else to set him apart from the crowd. Still, she loved them. His collarbone is prominent as he sits there shirtless and she wishes she could reach out and brush at it. But she gets back to work, knowing the only time she’s gonna be brushing near that part of him is when she’s covering dates in those dips behind his collarbones.

“Y’know, I could just drive you to Nick’s tonight,” Harry says, putting his book down and taking off his glasses. He rubs at his eye with his free hand.

“You’re blind and British, how do I know you can even drive yourself?” She asks sillily, pointing to his glasses.

He shakes his head, “I’m serious, Y/N. Aren’t you staying in the same area as me?”

He asks because they had relocated to Palm Springs a little while ago and everyone had gotten rentals and it was hard to remember where everyone was holed up when they weren’t on set.

“Yeah, think so. But you don’t need to pick me up. I have a car.”

“Nonsense. I’ve been to his place before, don’t want you to have to deal with directions, that’s just silly.”

“I guess...” she resigns relatively easily. She had never hung out with Harry off the set or Nick for that matter. It felt surreal, but she knew the right answer was usually just say yes in these situations. So that’s what she says. “Yes, that’d be great, thank you,” she confirms and watches as Harry’s eyes glimmer softly before turning back to his book. A triumphant soft smirk rests on his face.

The words die out between the two of them as she works on. He hums along to the music and continues reading his book. When she’s done with his tattoo coverage and his face makeup, she sends him off to hair and the rest of his day. He gives a flirty wink as he walks out the door and she rolls her eyes in response. She tidies up her kit and then goes to do some other makeup work.

When she wasn’t working with Harry, she was assigned to some of the minor characters and doing their makeup. They were always her second concern, especially now that she did Harry’s makeup as well as his tattoos. As she works on them, she can feel her mind drifting to Harry. Harry and how they were friends now. She was pretty sure, right? They were friends. He had never really said a mean thing to her if she really thought about it. It was her… She had been rude and mean-spirited and he had just taken it. He rarely had even thrown it back at her. He was so good to her and patient and she realized that he had proven to her that he was good. He was better than good, he was kind and loving. Considerate. Wonderful. All of those positive superlatives, Harry filled them. And she had the audacity to be mean to him.

She paused the brush that was adding blush to an actresses cheek.

Lisa, the actress, looks at Y/N confusedly, “What’s wrong?”

Y/N twitches her head, refocusing on her task at hand. The realization of her pausing her work becomes clear as she looks between her hand and the cheek that has not enough blush on it. “Oh,” she breathes. “...I just realized that I was terrible to someone who doesn’t have a mean bone in their body.”

Lisa nods, “Apologize.”

“Yeah, I mean...We’ve kind of moved past the phase where we don’t get along. Like now we’re friends, but the realization just really hit me.” She sighs, picking up where she left off on Lisa’s makeup. “I’ll make sure to apologize next time I see them.”

Lisa smiles.

At the end of the day, Y/N realizes she left her tattoo coverage kit in Harry’s room after their touch-up session halfway through the day. She had run off to help with a makeup emergency for a tiny cut on a minor character’s face and forgotten to go back and grab her things. Another roll of her eyes and a huff of breath and then she’s walking back to Trailer 6, a place that seemed like a home away from home now. She knocks, patiently waiting at the bottom of the steps.

Harry swings open the door and props it with his hip. He’s got a toothbrush held in his mouth, slowly scrubbing back and forth with his left hand. His costume is somewhat taken off, he’s still got the pants on with suspenders hanging down, his chest was completely bare and he looked funny with some of his tattoos only being half covered based on what parts of his skin had been showing today. Her work. His skin looked half silky smooth and half tattooed like usual.

His naked skin seemingly left her breathless because as her eyes returned to Harry’s face, she breathed a soft, “Hi.”

“Hey,” a smirk twists onto his face. “Forget something?”

“Yes,” she nods, coming back to her senses and entering the trailer at Harry’s gesture.

She begins to pack up the kit that had been left haphazardly strewn around on his counter. “I’m sorry I left a mess like this, I got called over to something else and forgot.”

“Don’t worry darling,” Harry grins at his joke.

She looks up from her work and sees Harry in the reflection of the mirror. He’s wiping off the makeup from his chest and his beautiful tattoos reemerge as entire images.

She laughs humorlessly, “It gets less funny each time you use that.”

“That’s not true,” he looks at her through the mirror now, his green eyes trained on her face, “Everyone else still thinks it’s hilarious.”

“They’re humoring you and your fragile ego,” she winks and watches as Harry’s smirk twitches from his perfect face.

“You’ve got a very mean disposition, you know that?” He asks.

He finishes his chest and moves to remove the makeup from his left arm, glancing at the mirror every so often to check himself and to flicker his eyes over Y/N’s face.

She genuinely laughs at that, but scolds herself internally for being mean when she had planned to apologize the next time she saw Harry. This was the next time so why was she doing this instead?

“Rewrite sweet disposition for me?” Her voice honeyed. Clearly stubborn and terrible at saying sorry...maybe her and Harry were a better match than she realized.

Harry twists his lips as he slips on his t-shirt he was wearing today.

“Pick you up at 6:30?” He says as his head pops out from beneath the rainbow striped sweatshirt he slipped on top of the shirt. His chestnut hair had been toweled out and was flopping over his forehead slightly.

She sighs and zips close the kit, standing from the seat she had taken at his counter and turning to face him now.

“6:30 is perfect. Thanks again for doing this. I just can’t believe Nick Kroll is inviting me over for dinner!” She smiles, shifting to lean against the counter as she waits for Harry to finish up. She didn’t have to but for some reason she felt like she was in no rush.

“Are you serious?” He’s moved on to changing his pants now and he’s slipping on black sweatpants.

“Yeah…” She blinks and her eyes widen as Harry appraises her expression.

He straightens up after fixing a cuff on the pants and he can’t tell if she’s being genuine or sarcastic. It was always so hard to tell with her.

“I mean, Nick Kroll is like a huge celebrity and I know in the entertainment business you’re not supposed to get starstruck but when I was in college my sister thought he was weirdly hot and my friends and I would shit talk him. I don’t know, it’s just kind of surreal to be having dinner at his place. Like I’ve watched him on tv and now I’ll be eating with him...so weird.”

He shakes his head, beginning on his dirty vans now. A small laugh escapes his mouth and he glances between her and his shoe, scratching his head quickly. “I still can’t tell… It feels like you’re fucking with me right now.”

“I’m not!” She insists, her hands coming out in front of her in a confused fashion. “I used to watch that guy’s tv show then he’s my boss now he’s inviting me over for food? It’s a lot to process.”

“How come it’s not surreal to be having dinner with me then?” He asks semi-joking, a hint of offense tinged within it. It’s visible only in his knitted brow and twisted lip.

“Careful there, sailor. Venturing into some dangerously self-absorbed waters.” Her eyes light up, a quick raise of her brows accompany the shine, and she decides now is her time to head out. Especially as she thinks about getting ready for this soiree tonight. She needed to shower and pick out an outfit with less than two hours to prepare.

Harry sputters at her response and fumbles with his pink shoelace. “That’s not...that is - You’re being unfair. My question is valid.”

She shrugs her shoulders and skirts Harry’s attempt at grabbing at her arm to stop her from leaving. “Okay, Mr. Big Man On Campus. I promise you you’re the most popular boy in school.”

She blows him a kiss and walks out the door as he attempts to get her to come back by calling her name a few times and slightly shouting “C’mon! I wasn’t being insecure. That was a reasonable ask…”

He sighs and shakes his head again. Every interaction would end with one of them either rolling their eyes or shaking their head and usually a sigh on both of their lips. It was exhausting, but exhilarating too.

20 minutes later, Harry receives a text from Y/N: “You’re still picking me up right :))) ?”

He’s in his car, getting ready to finally leave after getting held up with last minute schedule changes that he had to be informed about by some PA that he had forgotten the name of. His lip quirks to the right and he closes his eyes for a second enjoying seeing her name on his phone screen for a moment.

He types back: “Of courseeee”.

“Fab.” She sends back, immediately followed by: “Fanks BMOC ;)”

A full smile rolls onto Harry’s face after he swipes his tongue over his lower lip. “Yeah, yeah, save it for the next guy” he types out quickly before throwing his phone gently beside him and driving back to his apartment. She made him feel young, not that he wasn’t young, but generally his friends didn’t text like she did.

At 6:28, she receives a text from Harry Styles - his name in her phone. A name she had never expected to see in her phone unless her Spotify was on shuffle. Yet, instead, his name popped up under messages and it read “Here!” followed by a quick “I think” and then a phone call coming through from the apparently anxious man himself.

“Hello Harry.” Her tone even. She throws little items into her purse, making sure everything she needs is there.

“Could you peek out your window? I’m not quite sure I’m at the right place and people are staring…” nerves laced in his rushed tone.

She ambles to the window and opens up the shade she had closed to change. Below her, she sees a sleek black Range Rover with a slightly disarrayed hairdo and big dark glasses peeking below the windshield. She ignored the instinct to retch at the sight of the Range Rover and peered at the lamp lit sight below her. It was definitely Harry, but she searched for the prying eyes he was worried about and saw none. Well, maybe a few, but it wasn’t a lot.

“I see you, I’ll be right out, dude. Just deep breaths, it’s mostly crew staying here right now so they’re just seeing that it’s you, another guy they work with. They won’t come up for pictures...I would hope.”

She hangs up with no farewell, snatches her purse from its place on the bed and races out the door. Harry smiles anxiously at her when she stands next to the passenger’s door and he unlocks it. She bites her lip and raises her brows, waiting to hear if anything terrible happened in the minute and a half it took her to come downstairs and out to the car.

“Hi,” he exhales.

A smirk crawls onto her features and her eyes sparkle with a bit of a childish glee that normally she didn’t exhibit as she glances at him. “Hi.” She says quietly. “Alright big boy?”

“‘M fine.” He huffs but balks at her smile that she maintains while she stares at him. “What?”

“Just happy to see you, I guess,” her smile returns after speaking and Harry glances between her face and the windshield in front of him.

He can’t tell if she’s being serious or not once again. But he fears that conversation of her either ridiculing him for thinking she is serious or being offended that he still can’t tell. Instead, he will keep his mouth shut. For the most part.

“Happy to see you, too,” his lips create a closed mouth smile quickly before turning out of the parking lot.

She watches him. Their first time together outside of work. And they were friends. She needed to get used to simply thinking that. He picked her up to take her to dinner with her other friend and his wife. This was normal life, just with big names behind those terms of relation. Jesus, she always said it didn’t bother her to be around celebrities so why did she think about it so damn much?

She twitches her head and refocuses on Harry and his driving. His jaw is clenched again and she wants to reach out and sooth it herself. Instead she starts to open her mouth to correct him, but stops herself from that as well. They weren’t at work and it didn’t feel like something just a friend would say right now. She refocuses on the view of his eyes that are barely visible while he regards the road. His large eyes that she had grown acquainted to are surveying what he’s doing, every so often drifting to the right side of the road to check out the lane beside him. But then, always back to right in front of him, leaving a crescent of green visible to her.

“Can feel you staring at me…” His voice sounds like it’s rolled around in gravel after the long work day. It makes her wonder if he’s supposed to have a vocal rest when he’s not at work, but then again it’s the weekend now so maybe it was fine. Maybe she should ask him. Or maybe she should stop worrying so much about him.

“Have I got something on my face?” His low register bumps her from her racing thoughts. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, but she can see he’s widened his eyes in wonder.

“No! Of course not, I just was...making sure you weren’t going to crash us or something.” She grasps at straws, desperate to not be caught by Harry.

A low chuckle bubbles from his chest and he spares a small glance over at her bundled up in his passenger seat. She matches his gaze with something of distrust hidden behind her eyes. She hopes to convey that she’s being silly and when Harry turns back to look at the road unassumingly, she feels like she has won. The harmonies of the beginning of a Queen song take over the silence, Harry’s spindly fingers thrumming against the wheel.

They arrive at the Kroll’s Palm Springs residence at 6:50. 10 minutes early and the two twiddle their thumbs for a few minutes, trying to pass the time and not intrude earlier than they were supposed to. She appreciated that Harry liked to be timely but not early, similar to how she was.

“So what is the fascination with Range Rovers?” She queries, leaning against the door’s armrest. The back of her head touches against the semi-tinted window.

Harry shifts in his seat, seat belt no longer constricting him and no road requiring his attention as they sit in the driveway. He rushes a hand through his hair and lets a single strand of hair fall over his prominent forehead.

“Dunno,” he shrugs his shoulders and allows a hand to fall onto the steering wheel absentmindedly. “I don’t really prefer them anymore, but when I’m in LA and doing work, it makes things easier. My other cars are a little flashier...have more privacy in this.”

“Yet the effect is similar,” she muses.

Her head tilts to take in Harry’s appearance, sharp black silky button-up and dark green plaid slacks, and she rubs a hand over her jaw. His eyes flicker to the movement and attempt to really take it in, even in the dim glow of the lamp light outside barely peeking into the dark interior of the car.

“Effect?”

“Y’know…” She arches her brow at him. He feigns innocence or possibly the expression is genuine. She’s begun to realize Harry was as genuine as they came, but she just didn’t think he was that unaware. An assumption that was likely correct, but even Harry liked to pretend he was a completely unassuming individual.

“Forget it,” she finishes when he gives no indication that he knows what she is hinting at. She doesn’t want to get into it with him again. Especially when he plays at this game where he has no idea what she’s talking about. It made her feel like she was crazy for thinking he made these calculated decisions to get his desired outcomes.

They move on, neither of them quite sure what the other was getting at in that conversation. The two of them walk into the house a minute before their expected arrival time side by side and are greeted happily with Nick and his wife. They’re ushered in and Y/N is happily received by the happy couple.

“So, Y/N, how’s it been for you working with these two? I know they can be more than a handful - especially together,” Nick’s wife, Lily, asks after a sip of wine.

The group of four had been eating for a while with Nick and Harry bantering for quite a bit at the beginning about whether or not Harry would be willing to hand feed Nick. The answer was settled at “another time”.

Harry seems to have a very specific habit of watching whoever is speaking - no matter what. So after Lily has finished speaking, his gaze flickers to Y/N, the person his brain expects to speak next. He watches her attentively as she wipes her mouth on her napkin before speaking.

Her hair was styled differently tonight than it usually was on set, she had it down rather than up in a ponytail or braids. He hadn’t had time to really look at her when they had been in the car, his mind occupied with stress and exhaustion that he refocused into driving and deep breathing. Now, in the comfort of a trusted friend’s home, he was far more relaxed and able to truly take in her appearance, which he couldn’t help but think was beautiful. He’d have to tell her that at some point. That he thought she was beautiful. Not that he didn’t see her on set and think she was beautiful...he just hadn’t really thought about it before. She was his wily makeup artist who was critical of him most times, but occasionally sweet, who had an amazing taste in music and good aesthetic style. The beauty part of it all, he guessed wasn’t something integral to their relationship before.

But now he was sitting beside her at the Kroll’s nice dining table and she had her hair splayed in front and behind her shoulders with one side tucked behind her ear and her outfit fit her impeccably. The top she had on had capped sleeves that cinched with buttons at her delicate wrists and a severe drop to create a small sweetheart neckline just above the curve of her breasts. It was silky and shiny, a blush pink that complemented the high waisted dark grey slacks that flared over shiny black boots that he wasn’t sure where they ended beneath the pants.

“Well,” she starts, chuckling under her breath when she meets Harry’s stare, “Harry and I spend a lot of time together, covering up all his tattoos, and he yaps a lot. So, it’s actually pretty refreshing when Nick comes in, because Harry’s then talking half the normal amount.”

He huffs a scoff, while Lily and Nick laugh happily. Nick interjects an “ouch” for the bite she just took out of Harry, but she thought it was fine, he can take it.

Harry thought to himself that if she can serve it, then she can definitely take it. His eyes remain on her as he opens his mouth to speak, but then look at Lily when words actually come out. “Well, Y/N, she thinks she can read people really well, but it’s actually quite the opposite. She had me completely wrong when we first met, so I talk now in hopes that she’ll really understand me.”

His head tilts to her when he mentions her name, but otherwise doesn’t glance her way away again. He scrunches his nose at the end of his comment, implying he converses with her out of pity.

It’s her turn to scoff and stare at him unamused. Nick and Lily share a look, unsure of what was going on, they had concocted this dinner date idea in hopes to set the two up but the way this conversation was going, they seemed to be pushing each other further and further away from one another.

“That’s simply not true,” she says curtly and takes a sip of her quickly emptying wine glass.

“Which part?”

“Almost all of it, I’d say,” her eyes glaring back at him, fiery with a disdain he hadn’t seen in awhile. “You’re proving my original perception of you with every passing second,” she adds.

“Care to elaborate exactly what the original perception of me was for the class,” his eyes are wide and wild, any extra adoration he had started to feel towards her slipping away just as quickly as it had come, like a wave along the beach.

“You know, so why don’t you?”

“I want to hear you say it,” he grits out the command.

She shifts in her seat, glancing at Nick and Lily who are watching on and she has a feeling she won’t be getting an invitation again anytime soon. Lily gives her a semi-reassuring smile like she was sorry to have asked the question at all, but Y/N knows this is kind of her fault, not that she would ever admit that. Her comment could have been taken innocuously, but Harry’s pride wouldn’t let it slide. Like she said, she should have known better, the weeks of friendship were flying out the window and she was helping them along.

“And what if I don’t?”

“Have fun calling an uber at this time of night,” he shrugs, malice dripping in his tone.

She truly was taken aback at this. A slight sound of shock leaving her mouth. Harry was many things, impatient and anxious usually, but downright cruel with her, she had yet to see it. Arrogant and pompous, definitely, but this wickedness that was starting to creep from the shadows worried her. But the little fiery demon within her wasn’t going anywhere either - yet she might back down to save herself some money and hassle.

“Fine,” she raises her brows in a challenge to him and restates her original take on him - possibly adding a bit extra malice in her phrasing, “You are a shell of a man, held up by the people around you, creating the illusion of a completely genuine and down to earth rocker who dabbles in acting, philanthropy and all around goodness. No one’s ever had a bad experience because no one’s ever truly met you. Not the real you.” She takes a deep breath as she shakes her head in disbelief now, a sarcastic laugh leaving her mouth, “And I thought, I really thought, that I had been wrong. Because these past months you really fooled me with your sweet smile and deep eyes. But when it comes down to it, you tricked me just like everyone else.”

Harry stares at her blankly and she shakes her head once more, feeling foolish. For thinking Harry was someone he wasn’t. For thinking the past few months had been real. For thinking that tonight would go off without a hitch. And the shit part of it was that she had really hoped that all of it was true. She wanted this to be her life, but her instincts had been right. Beware of the picture perfect because it always is just a mirage of deceit and lies.

“All I’ve got to say is you’re a damn good actor Harry, so at least you’ve got that going for you.” Then she pushes back from the table and stands, turning to Nick and Lily. “I really am so sorry, I understand that you probably want me to leave, so I’ll just be going,” her voice faltering at the end, she wasn’t as strong as she liked to pretend and she was pretty sure she just ruined her chances of working again in Hollywood. You’d have to be an idiot to be an enemy of Harry Styles and she feels like she just became his first.

“No!” Nick says quickly, standing too, “I think things just escalated really quickly and some things were said that both of you didn’t mean. Um...just, let’s take a few minutes to cool off. Harry could you and Lily deal with the dishes and I’m going to talk with Y/N alone.”

Everyone nods and Y/N follows Nick down a hallway, a little confused but following after he beckons her with his hand. They go out a side door and end up on a porch in the backyard. He stoops down and opens a little sitting mailbox she didn’t see and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He places one between his teeth and then offers one to her. She accepts, not usually a regular smoker, but right now seemed like a fair time to indulge in the bad habit. She needed to calm her rapidly beating heart.

He lights the cigarette for her when he sees her shaking hands and then in turn lights his own. They stand on the porch beside each other and stare out into the dark night sky.

“Well, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go,” Nick starts, after a few exhales of smoke.

“No,” she laughs nervously, her foot toeing at the wooden slate on the porch. “I shouldn’t have tried to make a joke.”

“No one’s to blame,” Nick says quickly, glancing at her, “You and Harry...you both have really strong personalities and I don’t think either of you are used to being challenged.”

She nods along, she definitely had to agree after the argument they had both willingly gotten into in front of other people.

“I think that can be a really good thing, challenging each other, because then you two can both grow. But what happened in there was more of a battle to the death rather than a friendly spar.”

“Yeah,” she exhales, flicking at the burning cigarette between her fingers, “I don’t know why he gets under my skin sometimes in a way I’ve never dealt with and it’s kind of uncomfortable so I lash out, I guess.”

Nick stays quiet, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Ugh,” she groans, “I wish I hadn’t done that. We were doing so well, it’s like I don’t even really know what I’m saying, it’s like I can’t handle a friendly spar, I always end up going in for the kill - as you put it.”

She rubs at her face with her free hand and then takes a drag herself. Nick bites at his lower lip, trying to think of a solution.

“Y’know? Lily and I had concocted this plan to try and set you and Harry up tonight,” he says slowly, revealing the plan that had clearly been taken off the table as they just needed to attempt to salvage cordiality.

“Really?!” She’s in complete disbelief and slight dismay that the plan was seemingly ruined.

“Well,” he sputters, “When the two of you aren’t throwing verbal fireballs at each other, you’re actually quite sweet to one another. Those fond little glances you hope no one sees, well he does that too, and you both fail miserably because I see it all the time. I’m sure plenty of people do too.”

“Oh,” she states, visibly deflating. She looks to the ashtray conveniently on a table behind her and presses out the rest of the cigarette. “Should probably talk to him, huh?”

Nick nods, stamping out his nub of a cigarette as well. They go back inside and into the kitchen where Lily and Harry have plated dessert. Harry looks a little sheepish, likely having a similar conversation with Lily and she wouldn’t be surprised if her expression looks similar, if not a bit more flushed from the outdoor chill.

Lily murmurs that she and Nick are going to eat their dessert in the living room, a fair bit away from the kitchen and the two now deflated counterparts nod and then stare at each other, knowing what they need to do.

“Can we talk?” Harry rasps out, his voice even lower as he speaks softly, a mere foot away from her in the kitchen.

She nods, but moves further from him to lean against the counter and tuck her hands behind her. She’s lost her appetite and doesn’t want Harry to see her shaking digits.

He’s ducked his head and a stray curl falls over his forehead, laying there softly. He doesn’t move to fix it, just stares at his feet until she begins to talk. He can’t not look at her face when she speaks.

“So…” She slowly starts, not enjoying the tension in the room. Her eyes can’t meet his though, his stare dark and unnerving like usual, but almost painfully so now. “I can start.” She kicks at the tiling on the floor like she had done outside as well, trying to not think about the eyes trained on her right now. “I’m sorry I lashed out on you, Harry. I didn’t mean what I said, it was just a heat of the moment response.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Harry says immediately once she finishes speaking, “I shouldn’t have gotten upset over a silly joke and brought up a sensitive subject. Then it escalated…”

“Yeah, I really liked the friendship we’ve garnered these past few months and I just can’t believe I almost ruined everything - including my career…” she squeaks at the end and tears start to roll from her eyes. “Oh god,” she is hit with the gravity of all that she almost ruined as Harry stares at her again. “I’m so sorry, Harry, I really am. Do you forgive me? I don’t think I could stand it if you didn’t.”

She stands there and feels sobs wrack through her and her hands go to cover her face out of embarrassment. She had caused a scene and now she was making another one. In front of Harry.

In an instant his arms are wrapped around her frame and he’s hushing her cries. They had never hugged before, but now seemed like as good a time as ever. His arms were strong around her and she pressed her face into his chest, not caring at all about how she looked or whether this was worse than getting in a fight and running off.

“Of course I forgive you,” he says and then begins repeating her name over and over, trying to soothe her. He definitely had been hurt by her words, but it seemed like she was more upset about the whole situation than he was and he didn’t think bringing up what specifically had hurt him would help her frame of mind.

She settles after some time, her whimpers and tears subsiding after being rocked into a more peaceful mindset with the help of Harry’s calming voice and reassuring embrace.

“I really am sorry,” she whispers again.

Harry pulls his neck back and his head off the top of her head to look at her face. It was tear stained and her eyes were glassy, lips slightly puffy. He gave her a soft tight-lipped smile. “No more apologies,” he states sternly and then softens again at the slight quiver in her lip. He pulls from her a little more, leaving her at arm's length, with his hands still attached to her hips, fingers slipping over the plaid fabric. “I meant to tell you this earlier, before things…” he stares at her face again and she holds it this time, “You look beautiful tonight.”

She scoffs and her eyes immediately drop to her feet, “Definitely not anymore.” She doesn’t believe Harry.

“‘M serious,” he insists. His right index finger goes to rest beneath her chin and brings her face up to look back at him.

“Sure,” she says, still not convinced but not sure how else to respond. She feels herself warming at all the positive attention he’s pouring into her.

His gaze won’t falter from her face, he’s intent upon making her understand him. He whispers her name, “Accept the compliment.”

“You’re stubborn,” she notes.

“So are you,” he counters quickly.

“Fine, thank you,” she sighs when he won’t stop giving her that look of his. That look that makes her want to melt into the ground because it feels like she’s the only person in the world. “Though you looked especially good tonight, too,” she adds, her hands rubbing over his shoulders softly.

“Thank you,” Harry states lowly, the words only traveling to her ears. His hands fiddle with the sides of her top, thinking about the night and where they were now. Her eyes were red from crying and overall she looked tired beyond her years. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“That’d be nice.”

They make a quiet farewell to Nick and Lily, as well as apologies from both her and Harry. They don’t speak in the car and the music plays loud enough for it to not seem unreasonable for them to be silent. Harry’s hands don’t tap against the steering wheel, they sit in their spots stoically doing their job and nothing more. She watches the window, legs crossed and hands clasped in her lap. She’s thankful for the music because she knows that even though they had talked, it wasn’t enough. What she had said was hurtful and one apology wasn’t enough for how she had behaved. She didn’t think her and Harry would be the same after tonight, but the silence made it possible for her to pretend none of it had happened.

Just as Harry’s car is pulling up the apartment complex that is far darker now, the harsh splatter of rain begins to fall on the pavement and the sleek black car the two are still sat in.

“Oh,” she comments offhandedly, just responding to what she had noticed.

The rain grows louder when Harry parks and then turns off the car. He glances at her for the first time since they got into the car. She registers the look out of the corner of her eye, her face still looking out at the rain. She loved the rain, but there wasn’t always a lot in Southern California, especially not in Palm Springs. It seemed that tonight was different.

“Well,” Harry breaks his silence, she thinks that’s her cue to leave and unbuckles her seatbelt, but he continues. “This certainly wasn’t how I expected this night to go.”

She stops moving, her hand hovering over the handle of the door. She sits back and settles into the seat, feeling her teeth bite into the plush of her bottom lip.

“That’s what people keep saying,” her eyes remain on the rain hitting the front of the car, the splatters of seemingly black liquid that form when the clear rain touches the onyx hood of the car.

“Huh?” Harry grows perplexed at the rather wistful tone of her and how she won’t look at him again. He was still hurt, but he had hoped them talking in the kitchen had straightened some things out. During the car ride he hadn’t wanted to talk, but it didn’t mean he was still angry with her. Just confused, and growing further confused by the second.

“Oh,” she repeats, “Didn’t Lily say? Her and Nick concocted that dinner in hopes to set us up.”

Harry hums, knowing that because Nick had left out a little part of that plan. That he had been a part of it. He had been talking with Nick about getting to know her better outside of work and how Nick had thought it’d be a good idea to have dinner so he had told Lily and they set it up like a casual dinner party. Harry didn’t know how to respond because her knowing that he was in on the plan might just make matters worse. He really didn’t think things could get much worse, but it seemed that they always managed to make it happen so in the end he decided to keep his mouth shut.

“I don’t know if we’d ever be able to work out differences out for that,” she decides to continue, when Harry stays quiet. She scans the interior of the car and watches Harry for the briefest moment before going back to looking out the window. “Nick said that we challenge each other to grow, but all I see us do is hurt each other.”

Her voice is just above the rain pattering outside the car and Harry thinks it sounds almost melodic if it weren’t for the sadness laced in every word.

“I disagree,” he states before wetting his lips.

“Of course you do,” she laughs in spite of herself.

“Even after all these months together and you still don’t get it. I like you.”

“You don’t like me, I don’t know how you could ever like me,” she shakes her head. “We just...we get under each other’s skin. You can make me so angry sometimes and I know I make you angry too. And when we’re not angry, we’re focussed on something that doesn’t have to do with ourselves.”

“I don’t think what you feel for me is anger,” Harry insists, “Just because something feels burning and fiery, frustrating even, doesn’t mean it’s anger.”

His body shifts closer to the center divide and she turns to face him finally. His eyes are extra dark in this lighting, which is barely there from a streetlamp a ways off. She longs for the comfort of his light green eyes, the soft pale glow of the moss that seems to have been trapped within his iris. Maybe for that reason she unknowingly leans closer to him.

“Then what is it?” She whispers, eyes blinking slowly as her breathing grows strained.

“Passion.”

Immediately, her head is tilting to meet his lips. Her mind knows one thing, she needs to be kissing Harry right now. And then she is. His left hand goes to cup her cheek as his lips attach themselves to hers. His soft lips press to hers in a long searing kiss. They stay there for a moment, pressing all of that passion and frustration into the kiss.

She presses impatiently forward, her lips starting to move more, wanting to kiss him deeper. Harry obliges, parting his lips and kissing her more vigorously. He licks into her open mouth and smiles at the sound she makes in appreciation for his actions.

She’s shifted to have herself kneeling on the leather seat and she’s leaning over the console. One of her hands finds purchase on Harry’s thigh and grasps tightly, her other at the back of his neck, pressing him closer if it were possible.

His chest is pressing against hers as he pulls her closer. He kisses her and his fingertips rub softly at the apple of her cheek. Eventually they run behind the shell of her ear and trail down her neck.

Eventually, she pulls away and stares at Harry. She watches as his eyes flutter open gently. His soft eyelashes dust his cheeks before moving away, allowing his eyes to peer at her in the dark.

Her breathing feels a little irregular after the kissing and she’s sure she is heaving her chest slightly, likely mirroring Harry’s chest as well.

“So, where to now?” She inquires, lips quirked up at her suggestion.

Harry giggles and scratches his nose against his index finger.

Harry doesn’t stay the night, he walks her up to her apartment door though. He kisses her chastley in front of her door and wraps an arm around her waist as he does so. He bids her a goodnight and a promise of seeing her soon.

They don’t see each other for a month. Both of them had been so blissful after the endorphins of kissing their person that they had forgotten that filming had wrapped. They weren’t set to work for a month. Harry texted her the next morning informing her that he’d be in England until filming resumed. She was still going to be in California, filming was moving back to Los Angeles, so she’d be back in her place there. Her family knew she was working, so they had sent her presents ahead to her place instead. Angie, her only true friend in the area, was spending her time with her actual family and Y/N didn’t want to intrude.

So the holidays were going to be spent alone. Those four weeks alone passed surprisingly quickly. She practiced techniques on herself, bought a tiny Christmas tree like the one in A Charlie Brown Christmas, watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and just about every other holiday movie possible. She fell in love with young Hugh Grant and Colin Firth for the thousandth time. She sang carols to herself and decorated her place with decorations from Target. She jammed out to the new Miley Cyrus album and held dance parties for herself in the house. She baked cookies and even attempted a trifle after watching a Great British Bake Off episode. She did and she did all in hopes that her mind wouldn’t wander to the guy who hadn’t called.

Harry texted occasionally, but it was infrequent at best. He was a busy person, she knew that. She knew who he was. And she didn’t want her mind to have enough time to feel sorry for herself. For her to think that she was just somebody to pass the time with while at work, because if she stopped doing things that’s where her mind would wander. Why did her mind spiral like it did? She had no idea, she’d always been like that.

His absence, their separation, made her question if her own feelings were even true. She wondered if when she saw him he would act as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t said their relationship was passionate and she had kissed him until she couldn’t breath.

Too much time alone, she needed some fresh air. On January 2nd, after an uneventful night at home and a lackluster countdown washed down with cheap champagne, she decided to go and walk around near her place. There was a coffee shop that wasn’t extremely expensive that she also liked that she figured she would get coffee from. After a brisk walk, she walked through the store's doors and ordered an iced green tea. As she waited, she watched the other customers around her, wishing to see a friendly face, someone she knew. And seconds later, she was met with half of that wish. Someone she knew, not necessarily a friendly face.

“Autumn.” She states with a grimace when someone taps her on the shoulder and she spins around.

“Y/N? It is you!” Autumn, one of the PA’s from Don’t Worry Darling who was especially in Harry’s business, exclaims overly happy as per usual.

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and gives a tight lipped smile, trying her best to be cordial.

“How’s your holiday been!” Autumn asks.

“Great. You?”

“So great!” She’s quick to lean closer and say in a hushed tone, “But I miss working on set, especially getting to see that Harry everyday. He’s just so gorgeous.”

A breath gets stuck in Y/N’s chest at the mention of Harry’s name. Her brows can’t help but raise a bit at Autumn’s comment. Even lowering her voice didn’t make it feel alright to talk about Harry like this. He was her friend after all.

“Sure.” Y/N nods abruptly, realizing Autumn wants some recognition of what she’s just said. Y/N’s eyes glance around the room, hoping for an out like her drink is ready or something - no such luck.

“I mean,” Autumn keeps talking, of course, “You’re so lucky. You get to see him shirtless, like what? Everyday practically? Don’t tell me you don’t miss that just a little bit!”

“I miss working,” Y/N says, avoiding what Autumn is trying to get her to say. “And Harry’s my friend, could you maybe not talk about him like that with me?”

Autumn’s eyes widened in shock, her lips parted dumbfounded by her co-worker's response. Y/N’s name is called for her drink and she’s thankful for the serendipitous nature of that sound getting her out of the awkward situation she had just been in.

When she gets back to her apartment, she surprisingly has a text from Harry himself. She’s always telling everyone; speak of the devil and he will appear, in one way or another. It’s a Happy New Year well wish followed by a separate text asking how she was.

It was sent a minute ago so she decides to try and give him a call. She preferred talking on the phone over texting.

It rings a few times and then, again surprisingly, he picks up.

“‘Lo?” His voice is nice and deep and sounding extra British after his weeks surrounded by family and such.

“Harry,” she sighs contentedly.

“Happy to hear your voice,” he says her name and she can tell he’s smiling just like she is, from ear to ear.

She bites at her lip, hearing him say her name.

“I’m well, thanks,” she says after a moment of happy silence.

“What?” Harry laughs, confused.

“You texted asking me how I was and I called to respond.”

“Got it,” Harry chuckles, and she hears him shuffling around, likely sitting down on something.

“How are you?” She continues.

“Good, starting to wind down for the day,” he lists off the things he’s been doing over the past few days. Some of it work related, some of it family activities. All of it fun, he insists. “What did you do today?” He finishes, knowing she was an avid activity doer based off of the snaps she had sent him over the past few weeks.

“Tidied my place, went to the coffee shop and got iced tea…” she tries to think and then she gasps, “Oh! And I saw Autumn, one of the Don’t Worry Darling PA’s -”

“The one who’s obsessed with me?”

“Exactly!” She laughs, “And I may have kind of told her off… accidentally.”

“Accidentally told her off?” Harry repeats, incredulous. “How’d you do that?”

“Well,” she doesn’t want to tell him the rest, but there’s also a tiny part of her that really does, “She was gushing about you, which, ew. And then she asked if I missed seeing you shirtless everyday.”

“Well do you miss seeing me shirtless?” Harry smirks.

“Oh shut up!” She’s quick to reply.

“So you do?”

“If I really wanted to see you shirtless, all I’d have to do is type in “Harry Styles sh” and it would come up,” she rolls her eyes even though she knows he can’t see them. “Wouldn’t even need the whole word. Guaranteed.”

“Uh-huh?” Harry questions still, “If you want me to send you shirtless pictures that the rest of the world hasn’t seen, Y/N, all you have to do is ask.”

“I do not want you to send me shirtless pictures of yourself!” She exclaims. She feels like jumping out of a window right now. This conversation had escalated so quickly and she felt herself flushing, maybe even perspiring a little bit. And she also knew that she also would probably like it if he sent her shirtless pictures, which made this whole thing worse.

“Offer stands,” he says, smug as he normally was, happy he got to banter with her again. It had been dull without her, if he was honest with himself. “If you ever find yourself in need, just send a cheeky text and I’ll whip one out for you, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.”

“See this sounds like you’re saying something sincere, but really you’re just telling me you’ll send me nudes at any time.”

“No one said anything about nudes!”

“Shirtless, nude, sounds like you’re getting too caught up in the details, hon.”

“No!” He protests, “You’re the one who’s supposed to be flustered right now, not me!”

“Aww, you’re flustered,” She coos.

Harry groans. “Whatever. I’ll be back on the 8th, be ready to go out on the 9th. I’m taking you on a proper date.”

“How do you know I’m going to say yes?” She bite her lip again, she’s really sweating now. She couldn’t believe he had just asked her out on a date out of nowhere. Out of them just joking about nudes. Maybe she didn’t know Harry as well as she thought.

“Because you called me,” he says confidently.

“I call everyone.”

“But I don’t offer shirtless pictures to everyone.”

“That has nothing to do with me saying yes to this date.”

“Or does it?”

She laughs at his words, at how his voice still manages to convey every facial expression and quirk of his lips. She knows there’s a smile on his lips as he stares in the distance, imagining her face just as she is his.

“Yes.” She smiles.

“Yes!” He repeats happily.

She hears him stand up and spin around possibly and she chuckles slightly, amused at the silly man across the world who had seemed to have stolen her heart.

“See you soon, Harry.”

“Not soon enough.”

On the Saturday of their date, Harry insists on picking her up. He meets her at her door and winks at her after pulling away from their short hug. He laces his hand in hers and she follows behind him as he all but drags her to his car that is downstairs. He seems giddy. His hair has grown out in the month he’s been gone and she knows they’ll cut it when filming resumes. He’s wearing Gucci flared blue jeans - she knows from the big logo on the bottom left pant leg - a ‘Waiting for Sunset’ graphic tee beneath a black cardigan with little animals and items knitted in it. And of course, his dirty ass vans. She had hoped that maybe Christmas would bring him a fresh pair from someone, but it seemed there was no such luck.

Either way, he looked good and upon scanning his outfit, she was pleased that she had dressed correctly for the occasion, knowing one of the sins of Los Angeles was being improperly dressed wherever you might go. Harry had said casual, but casual can always mean so many different things. She got it right with light wash high-waisted levi’s, a brown cream rib-knit long sleeve that buttoned like it could be a cardigan, and some fun chunky boots that added some height to her normal stature. She had contemplated between this and possibly twenty other tops and a few other bottoms. Landing on this felt right, plus it didn’t clash with Harry, the color of her shoes actually matched the color of the snake on the cardigan.

They both compliment each other on the way out to his car and she giggles when he stops and twirls her around. He says he didn’t get a “proper look” before for him to compliment her adequately. After the twirl, he nods and starts them off again, complimenting the specific pieces of her clothes and says she looks beautiful again. His giddiness was contagious.

“No Range tonight,” she muses when Harry stops them in front of a Mercedes-Benz cream convertible, top up.

“Not working,” he replies, unlocking the car with the key into the passenger’s side door handle.

She smiles and slides into the car and watches him jog around to his side and unlock it as well.

“Tonight is going to be fantastic,” he says, leaning over the console and kissing her cheek, just beside her lips.

And when he pulls away with that smug smile of his, she knows he kissed her there on purpose. But the little tease only makes her smile more. He was good at this. And he was right.

The night was fantastic. As was every night after. And she learned that Harry was so much more than anything she ever thought. She counted herself lucky to be loved by a man like him.

#harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #enemies to lovers #dwd!harry #idk I always feel like theres more I need to put in here but idk #pls leave feedback and reblog

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thatgoblin · 3 years ago

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Whumptomber Day 12

It’ll Be Fun They Said - Made To Watch - Reader/Chris/Carlos

To get information out of Chris and Carlos, their captors torture Reader, a fellow BSAA agent, in front of them to get the information.

Warning: Torture, S*xual assault, distressing themes, we're getting dark here people. DARK.

A/N: Gonna get back to work on these, but they'll be out of order so I can do what I want when I feel the story. Also, this is like a Whump/Kintober? IDK have fun. lol

It was supposed to have been an easy mission. Something that would have you all in and out in less than three hours. No one knew that it had been a trap. Now, you, Chris, and Carlos were in small cells facing inwards. Your gear is gone, any hidden weapons were stripped, hell, you were lucky to still have the clothes on your back.

"Any Ideas Cap'n?" Carlos asked from his cell. From what you could tell, after being jumped and knocked unconscious, the three of you were taken to some underground holding area. The cells were a few yards from each other, each on a wall facing inward towards a table and chairs. The fairly small room looked like it was carved out of the ground rather than an actual basement. You wondered how far down you were.

"Not yet. We may have to wait to see what's around or who is," Chris said. "How are you doing, Kid?"

You looked up from where you sat in your cell, giving him a smile and a thumbs up.

"Head kinda hurts, but otherwise I'll live," you said with a sigh. It wasn't your first mission by far, but it was your first in the field. You'd always been away from the action, serving at base or camp. The Eyes and the Ears of the team. That was who you were. So of course your first mission actually in the field with a gun in your hands landed you captured. Which you were taking pretty well.

"Hang in there, okay? We'll get out some how," Chris said, giving a firm nod. The man wasn't a bubbly, positive person, but he was hopeful and determined. It made the situation not seem as dire as it probably was as he held his cool.

"Maybe we'll get the intel we need too," Carlos said, leaning against his bars. You glanced over to see the man's face in its usual scowl. While he was always serious and concise in the field, he was also warm and caring. The two of them had said that you were their responsibility and they would keep you safe. It was like the two older brothers you never had and you appreciated that.

Any other discussion was stopped once there were footsteps close enough to hear. Standing up, you kept your distance from the bars as three men walked in.

"Nikolai Zinoveiv," Carlos said, his voice turning into a growl. "Why am I not surprised you're still around and working with Neo Umbrella?"

"Captain Oliveira and Redfield," the tall, gray haired man said with a slavic accent, giving the captain a smirk. "It's good to see that you survived this long. I would have been disappointed had you not made it out of Raccoon City." You were put off by his expression. He looked like he was enjoying having someone as strong as Chris under his thumb and it made your stomach turn to think of what else he enjoyed doing to others under him. His clothing of a tight black shirt and fatigue pants showed off his physique, a silent threat that he was strong and would be able to subdue Chris if he tried anything. If he was as strong as Chris, that made you even more worried.

The other two were dressed similarly with vests that had the Neo Umbrella logo on the back, both with holstered pistols as they stood silently by the exit as Nikolai stood in front of Chris.

"What do you want from us?" Chris demanded, keeping Nikolai's attention on him.

"What do I want?" The Russian scoffed. "You and your team were the ones breaking into my laboratory. If anything, I should be asking you what it is that you want."

"Figured we'd go for a stroll, enjoy the sites," Carlos said with a snort.

Watching from your cell, you tried not to draw attention to yourself. Chris and Carlos were trained fighters and could handle these guys, you were scrappy enough to do enough damage for a quick escape. The last thing you wanted was this guy trying to talk to you.

"Ah, funny," Nikolai said. "If you want to make jokes that is fine, but I'm sure there is a way to find out your mission." Smirking, he turned to look directly at you. The gaze alone had you shaking in fear as you pressed against the back of your cell. "Pierson, bring our small guest here out to play."

"Don't you fucking touch them!" Carlos snarled, slamming into the bars as one of the men moved to your cell.

"You want answers, you talk to me, Nikolai!" Chris roared as your door was open. You made to dart past the monster, but was quickly caught by the back of your uniform coat.

"Let go!" You cried, struggling as you were dragged over to the gray haired man, tossed to the floor at his feet. Scrambling up, you didn't get far before you were grabbed again to be shoved into a chair.

"Let them go, Nikolai! I'm the one that has the answers!" Carlos snapped as you looked up to see the man pull out a terrifyingly large gun.

"I know, but I want to play first," Nikolai said as he looked at you. "You, Small One, take off your uniform top." The casualness of him ordering you to do that had you dumbfounded. You almost didn't understand what he was asking of you before he cocked the gun then pointed it at Chris.

"No! Okay! I'll do it! Please, don't hurt them!" You cried. With trembling fingers, you unbuttoned and unzipped your uniform coat before taking it off to reveal a plain black tee underneath. "There, I did it."

"I will be more specific," Nikolai said, sneering at you with his gun still trained on Chris' head. "I want you to take your shirts off. All of them, including anything you have underneath."

"Sick fucker!" Carlos spat as you stood there wide eyed.

"Unless you'd rather I let your Captain bleed out slowly," Sergei said, lowering his gun to aim at Chris' gut.

"No, please. I-I'll do it."

"Kid, it's okay. You don't have to," Chris said. You couldn't look at him as you took a deep breath before pulling your shirt off over your head followed by your bra. Standing there shirtless, you covered your chest as you felt your face heat up while keeping your eyes down.

"Good Kroshka," Nikolai purred as he put the gun back in it's holster. "I could use a pet like you." His cold fingers touched your chin, tipping it up to force you to look at him. "It would be so much fun to break you, to mold you how I want you."

"You fuckin' lay a hand on them I'll-"

"You'll what?" Nikolai said with a laugh, cutting Carlos off. "You are in no position to give threats. Not when I have this one in hand." His movements were quick, throwing you off balance a moment as he forced you to the middle of the room, pulling a rope with leather tie closer. He pulled your hands above your head to wrap leather straps around your wrists, tying them tightly to keep you subdued.

"Just tell me what you want, Nikolai!" Chris yelled, pressed against the bars as the man ran his fingers down your back. It tickled and made you squirm as you were bared to your teammates, but his other hand kept a firm hold on the back of your neck.

"Bring my tools," Nikolai said as he looked at one of his men. You could see Chris as you tried not to panic. Tears were in your eyes as you were sucking down shaky breaths, pulling on the tight leather bonds.

"Kid, look at me," Chris said, practically pleading with you as Nikolai pressed against your ass. You choked out whimper as you met Chris' eyes while you felt your captor's excitement. "I'm going to get you out of this, okay? I swear to you, I'm going to get you out of here."

"Such sweet lies you tell them," Nikolai said with a chuckle. "You may get them out, but not before I ruin them."

The man came back into the room, handing Nikolai a red tool box. It was simple, but when he set it out of your eyesight, you felt your chest tighten. You were feeling the panic set in at you pulled at the ties, crying as you heard him open the tool box.

The expectation had been pain, lots and lots of pain, but instead you gasped as your pants and underwear were pulled down to your ankles. You tried to hide your face in embarrassment as you felt something press against your sex.

"You sick fuck!" Carlos growled as the thing against you was turned on. Caught off guard, you couldn't stop the whimper that came from you as the vibrator pressed against your folds.

"Don't worry, you'll get your turn," Nikolai said to Carlos with a chuckle. You tried to turn away, but it was futile. Nikolai only pressed it harder against you, turning it up higher. Crying out, you felt yourself start to sweat as you started to get wet from the stimulation.

Panting softly, you kept your eyes on the ground to keep the shame at a low. Though, the way things were right then, it really couldn't get more shameful. At least you hoped it wouldn't.

"Relax, Kroshka, enjoy yourself. When was the last time you were fucked properly, huh?" Nikolai asked, his breath hot on your ear as he pressed against you from behind. You shook your head as you clenched your eyes shut. "Go on, I know you want to cum."

A sharp pinch to one of your nipples forced your eyes open. You yelped as Nikolai pushed the sex toy further between your legs till it was pressed firmly against your folds, forcing a moan from you.

Oh gods, did you just moan? In front of the others? Whimpering softly, your body was yielding to the older man. You couldn't help your hips as they chased the toy when he pulled it away as you were starting to feel so good. Frustrated, you sobbed, shaking your head before a thick arm reached down to raise one of your legs and expose the wetness between them. Whining, you gritted your teeth as Nikolai circled that bundle of nerves before pushing the tip of the toy into you.

"Fuck!" You screamed as your body bucked. Gripping the leather straps, you choked out a cry as you came hard from the toy.

"See, it's not so bad," Nikolai cooed as he pulled the toy away to let your leg drop.

"You proved your point, now let them go," Chris growled. You couldn't help but lean against the older man as you quivered.

"I haven't even begun to prove my point," Nikolai snarled at him. Letting go of you, he turned away to dig in his tool box again. Panting, you hung from your wrists as you swallowed hard. You didn't want to, but you looked up to see Carlos. He watched you with anger and fury, but also he was upset. This was happening to you and he could have stopped it. Both he and Chris could have stopped this, but it was too late for that.

Still shaking a bit, you heard a swishing in the air and Carlos say your name before the next tool was brought down on your ass. Screaming, you felt white hot pain as Nikolai struck you with a slim cane.

"The more flexible it is, the more it hurts," he said with a chuckle as he came around to your front to strike your chest, specifically your nipple. No amount of screaming or threats deterred the man, even when he forced your ankles into a spreader bar and he began an onslaught to your sex.

The entire torture session went on for what felt like forever and it was taking its toll on you. Between canings, Nikolai would use the vibrator on you to force you to cum then turn around and beat you afterwards. Your head was confused and fuzzy as you hung there while Chris and Carlos could only watch. When you were sure you had blacked out for a few moments, you felt yourself being lifted up before dropped to the ground. There was no time to catch yourself, your face slamming into the dirty ground as you stayed in the heap you fell in.

"Now, I had a lot of fun," Nikolai said as he moved towards you. So out of it from pain and orgasms, that it took you a moment to realize he was pushing something into you. You yelped, whimpering as he let it slide into place. A thick collar was locked around your neck before your tied hands were locked to it. Confused, but lacking awareness, you didn't understand what was happening till the object was turned on.

Crying out, your body bucked as the toy inside you vibrated right against your G-Spot, making you a panting, sweaty mess as you knelt on the floor. All you could do was desperately rock your hips as you chased that orgasm.

"Just stop it!" Carlos cried. "Just stop it!"

"Oh, I am. I believe your BSAA friends are on their way and should be here in a few hours. I'll leave the key for them here," Nikolai said, setting the cell key on the chair next to you. "Hopefully Kroshka doesn't knock it over. Good luck." With a smirk and a wave, Nikolai and his men were gone, leaving you as the only one to get the other out of there.

"Kid," Chris said, trying to get your attention. Whimpering, you looked up at him as he knelt in his cell. You didn't have to hear what he wanted, you knew what it was. In your sex addled head, you knew to get the key. "You can do it, I know you can. Then we can get out of here."

Nodding, you tried to force yourself up, but there was no possible way to do that. Not with how you were bound. So, you stayed on your knees. Carlos was the closest. It would be easier and faster to get to him. Managing to grab the key, you turned back to Carlos as you waddled to him on your knees. It was awkward and painful and you were nearly ready to cum again, but you did it.

Collapsing against his cell, you passed him the key then fell to the side. He slammed the cell door to the side before helping you up to a chair. Just for a moment as he rushed over to give the key to Chris then he was back again. The first thing he did was turn off and pull the toy out of you.

It should have been a relief, but instead you were on the verge of one last orgasm and when he pulled it out, your body cramped up, ruining it.

"No!" You sobbed as he unbuckled the leg spreader. "Please! No, I-I-I need!"

"Fuck," Chris cursed as Carlos got the collar off and your hands free.

"Hey, it's okay, you're alright now," Carlos said softly, wiping the tears from your face.

"No, please," you whimpered, leaning into the touch. "Please." All you could do was plead and cry, even going as far as trying to wrap your legs around Carlos to pull him close.

"No, Kid, stop," he said as you became inconsolable. "We can't. As soon as we get home and we're safe then we can talk, but not right now."

"Carlos," Chris snapped as you gripped his shirt tightly while babbling pleas. "Just do it. We won't get out of here until we do."

Whether or not Chris was upset with you, you weren't sure, but you also didn't care. With a sigh, Carlos nodded. He gripped your wrists to pull them from his shirt. Standing up, he muttered under his breath in his native tongue as he bent you over the table. The sound of him undoing his pants had you melting in the knowledge that you'd soon be full.

But how could he be aroused that quickly unless-

"Fuck," he hissed as he pushed into you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as Carlos pushed his large cock into you. It felt so fucking good. Better than any toy or teasing or anything. He gripped your hips as he began to snap his, giving a rouge, fast pace. All you could do was take it as you laid on the table slack jawed. Soft moans and mewls came from you as he kept fucking you, chasing his own orgasm now. "Damn it!" He snarled, stopping suddenly, just short of you cumming.

You could feel his thick, hot cum inside you. He'd tried to last long enough, but it seemed he wasn't immune to the image you being forced to cum over and over. You began to cry again, on the edge and ready to cum yourself, but Carlos only pulled out.

"Fuck, here," Chris said, moving behind you. It was a few moment of being empty before you were full again. Keening, you scrambled for purchase as Chris began to fuck you just as hard as Carlos. But unlike the other, his fingers were on your front and rubbing at that bundle of nerves.

"Yes!" You screamed as he lifted you off the ground to shove his entire cock into you. His rough fingers did everything right as you finally came so hard that you passed out in his arms and on his cock.

Coming to, you found yourself in a bed. What? Looking around, you realized you were in a hospital and hooked up to IVs and monitors. Slowly everything came back to you.

Oh. . . Oh gods.

In the corner of your room, you saw Chris and Carlos asleep on cots. It was a small comfort, but you would take it. But would you ever be able to look at them or anyone else on your team in the eyes again?

Master List

Tag List: @abysswhiskey11 @interviewedchicken @lonely-af-fangirl @girl-obsessed-with-things @mmmm----15 @depressedthebluefox @whimsywispsblog @singingsiren98 @parkerschurros @chrissyreid @bohica160 @death-is-beautiful @mittensdun @ravenrune @bsaa-bitch

#resident evil fanfiction #resident evil #fanfiction #chris redfield #chris redfield x reader #whumptober 2021 #nikolai zinoviev #carlos oliveira #carlos oliveira x reader

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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years ago

Text

[ flu season in E minor ]

pairing: fyodor dostoevsky x gn!reader

word count: 2.2k words

contains: uni!au, sigma and nikolai as your bff’s, gn!reader, music student!fyodor, fyodor being a bit of a brat while he’s sick, slight pining/crushing, idk just fluffy shit

summary: you and fyodor are both in the university theater club but you rarely ever see him except for when you’re picking up the musical compositions he makes for the play. this time, however, you come over to his apartment to find him sick with the flu

a/n: uhhh this is kind of a trainwreck cause i was literally just ‘omg uni!au fyodor sickfic’ and then went with it :P

“don’t forget to drink your vitamin c guys! flu season is already here and if you’re down with the flu please don’t come in and spread your germs everywhere,” sigma instructed at the ending of the cast meeting. even though he sounded snappy while saying it, you could tell he meant well. two of your actors in the theatre club had already come down with the flu and with showtime coming up soon, everyone was understandably extra careful.

“y/n, one last thing,” sigma called you over as everyone prepared to leave.

“in case you were going to ask, yes, i took my vitamins already,” you teased skipping over to where he was.

“not funny,” sigma rolled his eyes. “i was wondering if you could follow up with fyodor on the music for the next scene? he doesn’t respond at all to any non-physical communication, i already left him ten messages.”

“ooh, another visit to the phantom of the opera’s apartment,” nikolai popped up right at your shoulder.

“seriously? you guys call him that?” sigma raised a disappointed eyebrow at you two.

“well he’s mysterious and makes music in a theatre.”

“i feel like you should actually watch phantom of the opera before making that claim,” you told him. “also sure,” you shrugged nonchalantly to hide your obvious excitement. “i have time to drop by.”

even though he’s a part of the theatre club, fyodor dostoevsky was pretty much an enigma to the rest of the members. his contributions to the club activities were mainly in the form of the musical compositions he created for the plays. however, because he was always busy practicing for upcoming recitals apart from his music classes, fyodor rarely ever attended rehearsals.

but on the off-chance that he did drop by in a rehearsal to discuss with sigma or attend a cast meeting, you’d spend the entire time just... admiring him. everything from the calm and articulate way he spoke to messy way his hair framed his face. and on that day when fyodor decided to demonstrate the music by playing it himself on his cello, you realized you were head over heels for this man.

and so you, practically jumped at every chance you got to pick up sheet music or recordings from fyodor’s apartment. you already set the expectation that you wouldn’t be around for long. and you were right about that... usually.

...

“fyodor? hello?” you knocked on the door for what was probably the fifth time already. it was freezing cold outside and you were desperate to get in. pressing your ear against the door, you heard a weak voice say ‘come in. door’s open’ and then tentatively, you unlocked the door.

whenever you saw fyodor, he was always wearing a clean, button-up shirt and slacks since he was also at orchestra practice. so of course, it was a complete shock to you to come into his apartment to find fyodor dressed in bright red pajamas with a mickey mouse logo on the center of his shirt with a colorful patchwork quilt thrown across his shoulders. not to mention, he was seated in his couch with sheet music and tissues strewn around him.

upon closer look, you could tell from his sunken eyes and slightly red nose that flu season had struck fyodor.

“oh, y/n, it’s you,” he sniffled as you hesitated near the door. “come in. it’s cold out.”

“are you alright?” you asked, approaching fyodor. because you had gotten the flu a bit earlier that month, you weren’t too concerned about catching it again. “you look, well, sick.”

“just a cold,” fyodor waved his hand. “anyway, did sigma send you for something?”

“he’s asking for a follow-up with the music for the new scene,” you remembered.

“oh, that...” fyodor nodded, frowning as he searched the sheet music scattered around him. “i’m sure it’s around here somewhere and... i forgot to do it.” fyodor sighed at the realization. “don’t worry. i’ll just whip something up real quick,” he sniffed before picking up a blank piece of sheet music.

“well you don’t have to right now. fyodor, you’re sick. you should get some rest before working,” you sat down on the couch as fyodor bent over the coffee table with a pencil ready. “i mean, no offense but i doubt you can come up with anything in your current state.”

“nonsense, y/n,” fyodor scoffed and began to scribble something on the page. “i am a trained classical musician. composing is merely second-nature to someone like myself. why, i’m sure i have a melody coming along right--”

“fyodor.”

“yes?”

“you just wrote the letter g on the corner of the page and then started drawing random squiggles.”

fyodor looked down at his squiggled-over sheet music with a completely deadpan expression and stared at it for a good ten seconds. “i thought it was a g-clef,” he whispered to himself.

“do you... want me to help you to your room?” you asked softly. fyodor sniffed.

“yes please.”

...

when you headed out to his apartment earlier that morning, you didn’t expect to be taking care of a sick fyodor for the rest of the afternoon. for someone who always looked put-together and composed, fyodor was terrible at taking care of himself. even after coming down with the flu a few days ago, he still insisted on practicing the cello in his apartment. and, judging by the empty cans in the sink, you could tell that all he was eating was instant soup.

and, sick fyodor was kind of... whiny. it took a lot of convincing on your part for him to agree not to work on the compositions in bed, or practice his bowing. he complained about his pillows ‘not being plump enough’ and that his socks didn’t match (because he didn’t do the laundry).

“i don’t think i’ll even be able to sleep at this rate, y/n. my head is spinning but i’m not nearly tired enough to sleep. maybe i’ll drift off for just a bit but it won’t be that restful,” fyodor said, laying down on his not-plump pillows before he was out like a light five minutes after.

“drift off for just a bit, huh?” you chuckle slightly to yourself as you watch him. fyodor was curled up on his side, hugging one of the pillows with his blanket wrapped tightly around him.

you were definitely in a strange situation being in your crush’s house while he was sick in bed. there wasn’t really a need for you to stay; you could just leave some medicine on the nightstand and a note with instructions.

“mmm... key needs to be in e minor,” fyodor mumbled in his sleep before turning over on his side. you bit back a laugh for fear of waking him up.

‘what the heck? i’ll stay and make him some actual soup,’ you ultimately decided.

...

fyodor woke up to the smell of something delicious cooking, and that was something he rarely woke up to. aside from the fact that he could actually smell out of his currently unclogged nose, fyodor felt much better than he had been in a while.

‘y/n must still be here,’ was his next thought after waking up. and he must admit, that was very reassuring to know. fyodor didn’t have the best constitution and whenever flu season rolled around, he expected being sick for a length of time.

after wrapping the blanket around himself, fyodor curiously crept into the kitchen to find you standing over at the stove, stirring something in a pot while humming to yourself. there was a bag of groceries on the counter too. ‘did they... buy me food?’

he coughed slightly to get your attention.

“oh, fyodor. you’re up,” you turned around, smiling at him. “how are you feeling?”

“a bit... better,” he confessed, fully aware that he said all those things about not being asleep before embarrassingly falling asleep for two hours.

“great! soup’s going to be ready in a few minutes. if you freeze it you’ll have enough for a few days,” you added. “also bought some oranges. they should be good for you.”

“you... don’t really have to do this you know?” fyodor ended up blurting out, except it sounded a bit harsh. “i mean, i’m sure you went through all the trouble.”

“don’t worry about it,” you waved him off. “you’ve been working really hard so i get that you don’t think of yourself much. let me do this one thing for you as a friend,” you smiled.

“also, i’m genuinely concerned at the amount of canned soup you’ve been consuming.”

“canned soup isn’t that bad for you,” fyodor insisted.

“yeah, and i’m sure you enjoy that metallic aftertaste quite a lot,” you quipped. fyodor opened his mouth to retort something before closing it abruptly. the knowing smirk on your face only made him glance away. instead, he busied himself with retrieving the clean bowls, luckily there were two left, from the dishrack and setting them on the table. you were humming again while you turned off the stove before serving the soup.

“chicken noodle soup, huh?” fyodor couldn’t help but chuckle.

“a classic,” you shrugged with a smile. “it’s a secret family recipe too so it’s bound to get you to feel better.”

“you’re making it up, aren’t you?”

“yeah, i got it off the internet,” you giggled. fyodor chuckled and took a sip of the soup. it was deliciously hot and flavorful and best of all, the soup didn’t have a metallic aftertaste.

“after eating, you can take some of medicine that i bought in case you have a headache or body pain, as long as you didn’t take any four hours before.”

“what?” fyodor blinked at you.

“you know, don’t take the medicine within four hours of each other,” you explained slowly. “also it’s better that you drink some now that you’ve eaten.”

fyodor not-so vaguely recalled all those times he drank medicine on an empty stomach and feeling even more sick after. “i... was not aware of that,” he admitted. you sighed with your eyes closed.

“i’m amazed you’re still alive.”

...

“so, flu season struck the phantom of the opera, huh?” nikolai sighed after you told him about your weekend.

“yeah,” you nodded, remembering the sight of fyodor on the couch dressed in his pajamas with a blanket wrapped around him. that was going to be burned in your mind for a long time. “he’s... kind of terrible at taking care of himself.”

“that’s fyodor for you,” sigma added. the three of you had arrived at the backstage area of the theatre early and were busying yourselves with sorting through the various props that you had. “you know, one time he even went to a recital with a 39-degree fever. practically collapsed when he was off-stage.”

“i’ll one-up that story,” nikolai practically sprang off the box he was sitting on. “okay, so there was this one time i came over to fyodor’s’apartment while he was sick and he was so delirious he--”

“you guys do know that it’s rude to talk about people when they’re not there.”

the three of you practically spun around at the same time to find fyodor leaning against the doorframe of the backstage entrance with his arms crossed. he was looking way better than last time you saw him.

“fyodor,” sigma blinked, clearly stunned. “you’re... you’re here.”

“you’re alive!” nikolai cried dramatically, skipping over to fyodor and flinging his arms around fyodor who showed obvious discomfort.

“of course i am,” he scoffed. “thanks in part to y/n.”

hearing that made your face flush a bit. “i-it was nothing,” you stammered, dodging nikolai’s curious stare.

“anyway, i finished the compositions for the next scene,” fyodor strode forward, handing sigma a folder of sheet music and a flash drive. “let me know if it’s to your liking.”

“thank you. i’ve been having director’s block with that one. this should help,” sigma sighed gratefully. “i’ll give it a listen if you don’t mind.” and before you could say anything else, he scurried out to the stage area.

“and i’m going to leave for some arbitrary reason just so you two would have some alone time,” nikolai snickered at the indignant expression on your face before leaving you and fyodor alone backstage.

“oh, nikolai. always... funny,” you laughed nervously.

“indeed,” fyodor nodded. “i only have the vaguest idea of what’s been going on during rehearsals. i should probably come around more often.”

“oh, we understand that you’re busy and all. but you’ve already been helping a lot with composing the music so don’t sweat it if you feel like you haven’t been active,” you said.

“well, that’s not the only reason i want to come around more often,” fyodor’s eyes flickered up to meet yours and you felt your face heat up again. god, it was so much easier to talk to to him and joke around when he was sick with the flu.

“in any case, i’m glad you feel better now,” you cleared your throat. “i hope the soup helped.”

“it did. i was sad to see it run out,” fyodor chuckled. and before you could even consider what it was you were going to say, you went and blurted out:

“i could make it for you again.”

“oh?” fyodor’s eyebrows flew up and a smirk played on his lips.

“i-if you want to of course,” you stammered.

“i’d like that,” fyodor smiled, much to your surprise. “if you could update me on rehearsals and the play we’re doing, that would be great. how does friday sound?”

“friday sounds great.”

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taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumusdomain @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi @amberalisa @whootwhoot @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs @violentfarewll @fyoyacanruinmylifethanks

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #fyodor x reader #fyodor #bungou stray dogs fanfic #bsd fanfic #bungou stray dogs fluff #bsd fluff #bungou stray dogs uni au #bsd uni au #bungou stray dogs one-shot #bsd one-shot #bungou stray dogs writing #bsd writing

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bbugyu · 4 years ago

Text

how jeonghan knew

a journey with yoon jeonghan, lee seokmin, and you.

there was always something about his infectious laugh and his genuine nature that felt like fate to jeonghan, and maybe you were the muse that kept their red thread in tact.

prelude | part one | part two | part three | epilogue

wc.10662 (LMFAO) | fluff, smut, courtship, angsty in the beginning, polyamory, sugar daddy!jeonghan musician!seokmin escort!reader, hi cheol, hi gyu (again), hi boo, hi wonu, gay pining, jk he's pan probably, discovering sexuality, daddy kink, special guest seokmin!!!!!, threesome, lots of mlm, oral, cumpla, handjobs, choking, butt plugs, male penetration, there's a full on reader-less memberxmember sex scene idk, unprotected sex, please use condoms, jeonghan gets overwhelmed, the TEASING, jeonghan being a home improvement freak, don’t mind han jisung he’s just vibing, required listening is positions (2020) by ariana grande because it’s a perfect album

and here we have poly seokhan: the gayening!!! this is going to be the end of my scheduled updates for neverending artistry, but i’ll be posting an epilogue when i finish it - probably after i post a couple of other fics. this chapter.... is my fave......... i think u will see why lol. i went ahead and got a lil carried away with the house stuff but LISTENNNN i watch a lot of architecture videos ok LFJDSJ

thank you all so much for your continued support and incredible feedback on this series! it seriously means so much to me and i love seeing asks and messages from everyone telling me how excited they are to read more. i hope this satisfies you!!!

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his friend date woman after woman in college with varying seriousness. he decidedly ignored any amount of feelings he harbored for the younger, especially after he dropped architecture as his major and he saw less of him.

jeonghan tried to get over the destined musician (he would always be singing or fiddling with his guitar when he was meant to be helping jeonghan with a diorama) with several women, and after decisively focusing on his career for a couple years, he found success in another man. his short lived gym buddy, but lasted quite a bit longer as his boyfriend. they had connected first when jeonghan had offhandedly commented that he liked the logo on his shirt, to which the long lashed, broad shouldered man had said he had gotten it at the brand's store down the street, making jeonghan chew his cheek before he admitted that he had helped design that location. they connected the second time later that night, clumsily but intensely, and jeonghan liked his plush pouty lips and how his messy black hair felt between his fingers.

while that didn't last forever, he found varied success in other men, and he figured this was why dating women had always been so difficult for him. definitely not that he had been given small choice amongst the rotten apples that attended his college.

he was single again, and at an industry party when he reconnected with an old friend from college who happily reminisced about the fun their small group of friends had back then. he asked if jeonghan remembered seokmin, the guy that dropped the program.

"lee seokmin?" he asked, his brows knitting as he tried to react normally to the name, and mingyu hit his shoulder, laughing.

"yeah! guess what? that son of a bitch is teaching my niece piano!"

jeonghan smiled at the idea of seokmin as a piano teacher, nodding along as mingyu talked about how he had volunteered to take her to her lesson one week, only to be put face to face with a long lost friend. jeonghan laughed as mingyu imitated the face the other had made, laughing harder when he recognized it and remembered seeing it on seokmin's face in the past, then telling mingyu about how he had once pranked him by making the poor guy think that he was going to fail a project because seokmin had accidentally destroyed a diorama. it had already been graded, and he was going to take it apart to save on materials anyways, but the younger nearly cried when he thought he had wasted hours of jeonghan's time and cost him the grade by accidentally kicking it off his desk.

he asked how seokmin was doing these days, and mingyu told him he seemed well, and that he takes his niece to her lessons as often as he can spare, just to chat for a while. "i could give you his number," he said, feeling his pockets for his phone. "i'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

mingyu had been right. seokmin did love hearing from him. and he loved the way seokmin made him laugh with his ever joking tone and physical comedy antics. the way his eyebrows creased as he tried to keep a stern face but was unable to hide the smile across his lips. the way he always fought with him for the check despite jeonghan being older and notably better off.

he didn't love, however, how seokmin nodded his head after the waitress and asked him if he thought he had a shot.

maybe he was desperate, or maybe he wanted an excuse to not date seriously, or maybe he just wasn't ready to let go, but jeonghan continued to invite seokmin out, despite the fact that their relationship would never develop past friends who met in college. he enjoyed his company anyways, even if it felt bittersweet.

he poured himself into his work for several months, taking more contracts than usual and keeping himself occupied, only really seeing others for meetings and constructions, or when he was depressed on a friday night and caved, asking seokmin to join him for drinks somewhere. he continued this cycle for too long, his personal assistant noticing his mood changes before most.

"are you taking your vitamins?"

"yes, seungkwan, i'm taking my vitamins," jeonghan bit back, fully aware that he wasn't asking about vitamins at all, but about his state. confirming he was still making an effort to take care of himself rather than spiraling, sat in his living room on a tuesday after being told by a doctor to rest, for god's sake as a solution to him nearly collapsing several hours earlier. seungkwan shifted on his feet, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at the architect, hands folded in front of him.

"you need to stop seeing him. it only hurts you."

jeonghan sighed, staring at the black screen of his television. "i know."

his assistant studied him. "you should come out with the team sometime," he said. "we get drinks on wednesdays, usually. come tomorrow, it could take your mind off things."

jeonghan looked up at seungkwan, who was clearly sucking on his cheek. he knew he was right. more importantly, seungkwan knew he knew, but jeonghan had a hard time wanting to take his mind off this one specific thing, considering the way this one specific thing laughed like a hyena, poured himself over a piano like an ocean wave, and sang along like an angel. his head fell back on the couch, and he had to take a long, conscious breath to lower the ringing in his ears at the silence. "i'll be there next time."

seungkwan exhaled in defeat, eyes flickering around as he excused himself and said goodnight, knowing his boss was lying.

jeonghan found you on accident - put in an uncomfortable corner by an ultimatum from his publicist and the circulating rumor that he sleeps with men because he can't keep a woman around that seemed to pile on top of everything else on his plate - and the second you opened your mouth, he knew you were special.

he remembered the profile he had seen from your broker, and knew you were attending university. he asked you your major, and when you told him you wanted to produce music for a living, something deep in him stirred. you had been sitting in his car for all of twenty minutes, and you nearly had him under your spell already.

he couldn't understand his fascination with you, but he continued to book you for dates, sometimes deciding what event he would be attending by asking what day you were available that week. he figured if he needed to prove to the world that he wasn't gay (which he was, he was pretty sure), you were the only one he was interested in doing it with.

maybe he had a thing for musicians.

he had taken out quite a few escorts before you, but none of them were nearly as fun. you always did an incredible job engaging in whatever event he brought you to, but also hit his chest as you tried to stifle a laugh at something he muttered into your ear, guiding you away. his friends liked you, too, the few he had. the ones that had met you. yongsun had even tugged him aside briefly, asking if he really liked you. you seemed nice, she had said. and good, in general, but also for him. she wanted to make sure he wasn't just leading you along to quiet some stupid rumor. he glanced at you, smiling wide as you excitedly discussed music with one of his other friends (the fifth and last person he liked at this event, the two of you included), and wasn't quite sure why he told her he actually liked you, but didn't feel the need to correct himself.

then you told him you were quitting, and he realized what he would be losing. then you kissed him, and he realized what he had been feeling. then you looked at him with wide eyes, just as shocked as he was by the explosion of fireworks you had both just experienced, and he realized what he had been missing out on all this time.

he figured he must have always loved you as his eyes scanned the hotel bar, confused at how you had managed to get away so quickly. he was running into the hall to see if you had escaped to the lobby when someone caught his arm.

"hey, you seen yongsun?"

jeonghan blinked at his blonde friend, recognizing her play. "have you seen y/n?"

"try the bathroom," she said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder in the direction she had come from.

he looked down the hall at the restroom signs, nodding. "i saw her at the chocolate fountain a minute ago."

byulyi patted his shoulder as she walked past him. "good luck, yoon."

it felt good telling you the truth, while sitting in your well organized and tastefully decorated studio apartment that you had insisted he would hate, even if he was too scared to admit all of it. why he had needed you before, but wanted you now. his heart nearly beat out of his chest when you agreed to his conditions, though he recognized that he had given you just about every advantage in the deal. it would have been near impossible for you to say no, especially after the way you had kissed him before someone had finally tried to enter the bathroom you were hiding in.

for a while, he only kissed you as a farewell, mostly because he enjoyed the old school romanticism of kissing a beautiful woman in the moonlight, her back against the passenger door of his black vehicle parked on the street outside her studio apartment. then, when he had invited you to his home after the two of you had ditched a boring dinner several hours early, you had curled up in his side to watch a movie. at some point, he caught you staring at him, and you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him sweetly. slowly. kissed him in a way that only made him crave more. you smiled, settling back into his side for the rest of the movie, and even though you had done it unconsciously, the back of your hand rested against his thigh in a way he had a hard time ignoring, and he decided he must have just had real shit taste in women before he had met you.

the following sunday, when you mentioned how pitch black the sky seemed at that late hour, having gotten caught up binging some drama, he not-so-vaguely hinted that he'd be okay with you spending the night in his bed. you eyed him, and he shrugged playfully.

"or i have guest rooms. up to you."

"i have class tomorrow," you tested.

"i can take you," he responded. "if you want."

you paused, watching him as he recorked the wine bottle the two of you had opened earlier in the evening but only managed to have one glass of each before abandoning it to cuddle on the couch. he was always so thoughtful, even in his teasing. he cared about your comfort. he wanted to maintain your boundaries. but it had been a really long time since you had gotten laid, and everything in you yearned to say yes. jeonghan's voice in your head reminded you, no expectations. this could be whatever you wanted out of it.

so you went to bed with him.

jeonghan would swear up and down that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, and his beliefs were only confirmed when he pulled your shirt off of you, dragging your pants down your legs, and got a real look at you for the first time. you felt unexplainably embarrassed under his gaze, asking if he was okay.

"yeah," he said breathlessly, a hand running up your side, your back arching slightly to his touch. he curled over you before he whispered "god, yeah, i'm more than okay," against your lips.

not even ten minutes had passed before you told him you loved him between your panting, and he was so ecstatic when he could tell you, wholly and truthfully, that he loved you, too. and after your pulses had died down and you were falling asleep in his arms, he said that if you were staying under his roof, you were not allowed in any guest rooms. that if you needed space, he would find a different bed to sleep in, because this one looked best with you in it, and he refused to have it any other way.

jeonghan never got bored with you. over time, you began going to his place after events and dinners more than he dropped you off at your apartment, becoming an often enough occurrence that he had asked you one night to fill an online shopping cart with clothes for you to keep in his closet, so you could stop this silly packing bags nonsense. he had already bought you a full set of toiletries for his bathroom, started keeping your favorite snacks in the pantry, and even gone as far as to buy you the house slippers you had offhandedly said were cute when the two of you wandered aimlessly around a mall together. you were becoming a part of his home in more ways than one, and he was happy to have you.

he offered you an unused office on the second floor when you started studying for finals on the peninsula of his kitchen counter one monday afternoon, and you asked what was wrong with you doing it where you were.

"because you're not going to clean it up," he pointed out.

"maybe if we had a rewards system," you argued. "if i clean up, i get a prize."

he laughed, rounding the small jut of countertop, thinking about how he would probably need a proper kitchen island if you were going to be sticking around. "just because i give you an allowance, doesn't mean you're a child. you're not supposed to focus on the baby part of sugar baby."

you pouted as you turned on the stool to face him, a hand gently tugging his tie to pull him into you. "what if i focus on the daddy part of sugar daddy?"

a hunger dropped in jeonghan, gazing down at you as you sat at his kitchen counter, surrounded by textbooks and notes. your eyes sparkled under the lights, and his fingers went behind your neck before he kissed you, muttering against your lips to try calling him that again, angel.

the kitchen remodel had gone about as smoothly as it could have, given the fact that it was nearly impossible to transport such a large slab of granite for his dream island without it snapping in half from its own weight, but they managed, and when the light fixture finally turned on for the first time after the new cabinet doors had been installed, he felt justified in remodeling a kitchen that had hardly needed updating. he felt even more justified when he came downstairs to find you, having woken up in an empty bed, only to have you yell at him as you flipped pancakes on the griddle of his new gas range, saying you were going to bring him breakfast in bed and if he didn't cooperate, he wouldn't see you for a week. he laughed at your threatening spatula, putting his hands up in surrender, unable to stop smiling as he made his way back up the stairs.

you had enrolled in online courses for your last year of school, mostly so you didn't have to be anywhere specific for several hours every day, and instead could keep your schedule massively open to cater to jeonghan's needs. this also meant you usually attended your afternoon lectures at his home, waiting for him to get off work and distract you.

then the two of you started attended wednesday drinks with the team. seungkwan had thanked you, though you hadn't realized that you were deserving of a thanks.

"he'll tell you when he wants to, i guess," he said, twirling the beer in his hand. "but he wasn't in a great place before he met you."

you could hear the subject of your exchange laughing further down the bar, and you wondered what kind of place he meant, but tapped your glass against seungkwan's instead of asking the question. "to better places."

he chuckled, bringing the beer to his lips. "cheers to that."

jeonghan enjoyed having you on his lap on the couch, listening to whatever r&b record you had chosen as you worked your lips against his. he nudged several kisses down your neck, and you mentioned offhandedly that there was a perfect place in his living room for a bar, pointing at the wall behind him. he pulled away from you, turning his body with an arm over the back of the sofa, and his head cocked as he stared at the wall that only held a painting. he silently agreed with you, wondering why you seemed to inspire all his recent projects as you nipped at his neck, drawing his attention back to you with a smile on his face.

the bar was finished in time to hire a bartender for a halloween party. he hadn't told the guests that it was an anniversary party, but you had been made aware of the secret arrangement during a conversation the two of you had over a private meal in your favorite restaurant the week before.

"a threesome," you asked, hoping for clarification.

"with a guy, preferably," jeonghan said. "but i could be convinced to approve of a girl if that's what you would like."

"you're being serious?" you seemed to find yourself asking him that a lot. every time he suggested something that he knew you wanted, you wondered if he was pulling your leg. "and you want me to choose?"

"yeah, at the party," he said, watching you shake your head incredulously with a smile on his face. the two of you had discussed the possibility in the past, and he thought it made a fun gift. an unexpected one, from someone who had enough money to comfortably gift you just about anything. "i have to approve, obviously, but you get to pick the candidates."

you thought a moment. "what if we can't agree on anyone?"

"then i take you to bed alone and we have fun anyways."

he laughed when you squinted at him.

"if the opportunity comes up down the line, we can try again later," he said. "but i thought this would give you something fun to do while i'm hosting guests."

and it had, as you sneakily scoped out the guests, flitting around the party of both familiar and unfamiliar faces in your angelic cheerleading costume. visiting and laughing heartily with the team, as well as your uni friends that jeonghan insisted you invite, offering them more drinks, then saying something about having to play hostess so you could continue your search. byulyi and yongsun were there, and you complimented their matching rapunzel and flynn get up, jeonghan catching you for just a second to ask if you needed anything.

you settled in on one target perhaps too quickly, without even really having made an effort to see all the options. you had been struck by the same sharp cheekbones, puppy dog eyes, and crooked smile that jeonghan had once fallen for. when he saw you tucked into lee seokmin's side, recognizing your flirting even from a distance and noticing how receptive the musician was to it, his heart fluttered, and he couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing.

a good thing, he decided, when seokmin had asked him permission before he came in you. because, seemingly, sexuality was much more of a spectrum than jeonghan had once thought, and perhaps his college crush just needed the encouragement of an incredible woman to try something a little beyond his experience, much like he had.

and when you wouldn't stop mentioning the musician the two of you had enjoyed the company of while schmoozing guests at the opening of him and his friend's collaborative art exhibit, he got a slick idea. on the way home, he told you that you weren't allowed to make a noise until he hung up the phone, but you were already writhing in the passenger seat just as the phone rang.

and when he answered, you clamped a hand over your mouth, a bare foot landing on the dashboard as you tried to grind against jeonghan's hand, his voice steady as he talked to the younger.

and when he mentioned you, your walls pulsed around his fingers, a smile finding its way into his lips as he spoke. he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way you looked at him with begging eyes and your fist between your teeth, or in the way seokmin's tone dropped as he confirmed that he would get a cab, but he truly couldn't help himself when he made eye contact with seokmin as you sucked him off, his hips canting into yours recklessly, forcing seokmin to break the contact as he reacted to your moan on his cock.

he noticed the way seokmin's hips began to move on their own, begging for enough control to chase his nearing high in your mouth but having it brought right to his doorstep instead. jeonghan felt your perfect heat cling to him in reaction, and before he could think to stop himself, he pulled you into his chest by your throat, not daring to let you claim it all as he lapped cum from your mouth. you whimpered against him, your orgasm lasting impossibly long as he fucked into you, getting milked by your needy walls.

when he caught seokmin staring directly at him, he grinned and wiped the back of his hand across his chin and lower lip, languidly licking any escaped cum off it, and asked if he wanted to try his, too.

seokmin agreed, nodding shakily before jeonghan massaged at your sides, pumping himself into you a few more times. he told you to give seokmin's mouth a ride. you groaned, his cum dripping down your thighs.

jeonghan watched the younger's cock twitch as you moaned over him, one hand on the wall and the other on his scalp, his fingers digging into your thighs. he stared at how it never lost hardness. he didn't even realize that his hands were on seokmin's hip and thigh before he even asked if he could touch him, but a large hand left your thigh to shakily bring jeonghan's to his thick cock, answering the question despite you occupying his mouth, his fingers lingering over jeonghan's as he pumped his length.

he couldn't deny that how badly he wanted to fuck seokmin, but he could settle for making him cum in his hands until he was ready for something more, especially with the surprising amount he had to give after already having cum once. he let himself indulge in a single lick across seokmin's sensitive slit - though it was hard to stop there - triggering a garbled moan before he left to shower.

a week or so later, jeonghan asked you if you were interested in dating seokmin. you put your phone down and rolled over in bed, propped up on your elbows as you asked him what he meant.

"i love you," jeonghan assured, pulling you to lay closer to him. "and i can tell you like him."

you studied his face. "but i'm with you."

"that doesn't have to stop," he said, smiling at you as he tucked a hand behind his head. you eyed his arm briefly, then refocused on him. "but you know how things get in the winter, and i would be okay with you trying things out with him while i'm busy."

"you're being serious?"

jeonghan laughed at the familiar question. "yes, y/n, i'm being serious. i know you want me, but i also know you want more than me."

you had never told anyone about your desire for multiple partners, not even admitted it out loud to yourself, so his candid assessment caught you off guard. "how did you-"

"just little things you've said," he teased, leaving you to question how much you had revealed about yourself without realizing. "besides, no one can deny the chemistry."

you paused. "boundaries?"

"just tell me," he said, putting his arms around you and tugging you into him. "i just want to know when you're seeing him. and, eventually, i would like to be invited every once in a while."

"invited to dates?" you asked, throwing a leg over his lap to straddle it as you laid over him. "or invited to bed?"

he smiled up at you, hands running over your rear. "either. both. whatever you two want."

you agreed, but only after you made him promise he would tell you if anything changed for him. that he had to tell you about every doubt and worry he had. "i'll always choose you," you stated plainly, lips brushing against his as he gently rolled his growing length up against your clothed heat. "no matter what, i'll choose you."

"i know, sweetheart," he said, a hand on your cheek as he kissed you. "i promise."

after he came back from a business trip in december, you admitted to him that you and seokmin had exchanged i love yous, and he just put an arm over your shoulder and turned down the volume on the tv, telling you that he was pretty sure he loved seokmin, too.

"it was him, wasn't it?" you asked, studying his profile. "he was the guy you couldn't get over?"

jeonghan rubbed his face with one hand, sighing. "yeah, it was him."

"why didn't you say anything?"

he thought a moment. "i didn't want you to feel obligated, i guess."

your fingers straightened the seams of his long sleeved shirt across his shoulder. "obligated to win him over for you?"

"obligated to love him, too."

"jokes on you," you giggled. "he's very easy to fall in love with."

jeonghan supposed that was true, thinking of how quickly he had fallen for him, even back before he had admitted he liked men. how he had fallen into the same spot even years later, just over a shared meal and a few bottles of soju.

but you were easy to fall in love with too, he thought, remembering how he hadn't even understood his feelings towards you until you had kissed him, but he had felt them strong enough to want you to stay by his side anyways. maybe jeonghan just fell easily, but maybe he was lucky enough to have found his people at such a young age.

you settled back into the crook of his arm and asked him what he thought about seokmin coming over to join you two for christmas. while much of the world celebrated with family, it was more of a hallmark holiday in korea, often times spent with a long time sweetheart or a budding romance. or both, in your case, jeonghan supposed, when you were distracted trying to find the third christmas music lp you had specifically gotten for the occasion (out of eight, of course, because you didn't want to run out of christmas music). he was leaning against the tasteful home bar that had been hardly touched since halloween when seokmin shyly admitted that he knew jeonghan was interested in him.

he said nothing for a moment. "she told you?"

"kind of, back when you were in japan, but-" seokmin paused. "i think she was just suspicious, but i should have known. you were always too kind to me."

"not too kind," jeonghan said, hiding behind his wine as he sipped at it, trying not to show his embarrassment.

"i think i'm interested, too."

he looked at seokmin, who was staring down at his hands. "are you sure?"

"i'm-" he paused, catching jeonghan's eyes for only a second before scratching the back of his neck. "i think so. i've never even thought about doing anything with - uh - men. until you."

"that's okay," jeonghan said, looking to where you were flipping through records. "i didn't like women until y/n."

seokmin faltered. "wait, really?"

he nodded, a small smile on his face. "i thought i was gay. turns out i'm not."

"but you-" the musician stretched his jaw. "weren't you kind of a player in college?"

he almost said something about how having sex to meet an end and keep an appearance was different than enjoying it, but stopped himself when you announced that you had found the lost record, switching the lps with a flourish and setting the player again. and while he was curious about the level of seokmin's interest in him, he was happy to leave the conversation where it stood when you excitedly rejoined them at the bar.

"do you think i could be a bartender?" you asked, leaning over the counter and grabbing an unused shaker.

"probably," seokmin said.

"for sure no," jeonghan laughed.

you pouted at the latter, holding the shaker between your hands as you directed your attention to the former. "thank you, seokmin. i appreciate you encouraging my dreams."

"any time," he joked.

jeonghan rolled his eyes. "what about that music degree i'm paying for?" he asked, taking another sip.

"just because you've known what you wanted to do forever, doesn't mean everyone does. maybe i'll change my mind." you tried to spin the shaker in your hand, but the force you used was too little and it stopped on your palm too quickly, clumsily clattering to the counter. you stilled it, exhaling sharply when jeonghan giggled beside you, looking to seokmin. "he might be right."

"it's almost like i know you," jeonghan teased, nudging you. "she was convinced she could become my personal bartender for all of two weeks."

"i tried," you whined. seokmin laughed. "the tricks are harder than they look."

"and you hated shaking drinks."

you put the shaker back, defeated. "the ice made it cold."

"isn't that the point?" seokmin asked.

jeonghan smiled at you. "you're lucky i like wine."

"i'm gonna talk to you now," you announced, turning your body to seokmin. "because you're nicer to me than he is."

"aw," the architect chuckled, and seokmin watched you react to a squeeze at your butt. "did he make you soft? can't take my teasing anymore?"

you ignored him, trying to ask the man in front of you about his lessons, but you yelped when his hand firmly landed on your ass, grabbing seokmin's arm in reaction. he looked at you, seemingly just as shocked, and you tried to continue the conversation, but jeonghan's hand didn't leave, and your entire body was reacting to the way it was slowly hiking up your skirt and running between your thighs.

your eyes fell shut, and you muttered for him to cut it out as your grip on seokmin's arm tightened, but jeonghan just made eye contact with the other male, asking him instead if he should.

without thinking, seokmin shook his head and put his hands on your jaw, pulling you in to kiss him. your moan against his lips was involuntary, and jeonghan grinned as his fingers ran over your core, making you whine.

"did you tell him?" you gasped out, asking seokmin with hooded eyes. he shook his head, saying that he hadn't told him everything.

"told me what?" jeonghan asked, interest piqued as he put down his glass, pulling his hand out from your skirt and placing them on your hips instead, squeezing gently as he stood behind you, and your head fell back into his shoulder without much intention as you licked your lips. "seokmin?"

he pulled his gaze, trained on your mouth, to look at jeonghan, and he felt his breath stop in his throat as he fully processed the sight in front of him. you gasped again, as jeonghan's hand came up to knead at your breast, and you tried to pull seokmin closer, but he didn't stop moving even when he was pressed against you.

jeonghan thought he might faint. he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but when seokmin's hand found the back of his neck and pulled him over your shoulder, his mind went blank. when his lips found his, his vision went white. when he felt his tongue against the inside of his teeth, he couldn't help but moan, one hand gripping your waist and the other aimlessly tugging on seokmin's shirt, seemingly just to hold something that belonged to him.

"fuck, okay," jeonghan breathed, staring after the musicians lips even when they left. you giggled, recognizing the feeling. "okay," he repeated. "got it. understood."

you spun around, hands on jeonghan's chest. "we prepared something for you," you said, and seokmin's cheeks and ears were bright red when he sheepishly nodded with you.

jeonghan looked between the two of you, swallowing suddenly. "what?"

you tugged on his hand, then grabbed seokmin's, too, when he didn't move right away, leading them both to walk around the couch. you pulled jeonghan onto the cushions with you, kissing him briefly before he realized someone was between his knees. when he saw him, that was when jeonghan's dick woke up, suddenly realizing what was happening.

"be nice," you muttered against the shell of his ear, your hand running down his torso. "it's his first time."

seokmin's hands were strong but gentle, and despite never having touched a dick that wasn't attached to him, he knew what felt good. he needed a bit of guidance from you to begin, less from lack of knowing the process and more because he was nervous, but quickly found a comfortable rhythm. jeonghan sighed when he finally got pulled out of his pants, and you were sucking a mark into his neck, his arm wrapped around you and his hand kneading at your rear. his eyes could hardly stay open when seokmin ran his flattened tongue up the underside of his cock.

"isn't he pretty?" you asked, whispering, a smile on your lips.

he groaned, threading his fingers behind seokmin's ear, desperately trying to hold back his release because he hasn't even put you in his mouth, yet, jeonghan, for god's sake, keep it together. the younger's eyes flickered up to his, and he nearly came just from the feeling of his soft lips around his member, sinking slowly.

"fuck, you're too good at this," jeonghan said, the half chuckle on his lips falling quickly when seokmin's tongue ran over a vein, the warmth of his mouth feeling like heaven. his teeth bit down on his lower lip, watching your hand run through seokmin's hair. he hummed at the contact, his grip tightening slightly, sending a jolt through jeonghan's system. "fuck, i'm gonna cum already."

"there were lessons," you giggled, your hands wrapping casually around his neck. his breathing hitched, eyes falling shut, focusing on the mouth sheathing his cock as he recognized your fidgeting fingers over his pulse. "merry christmas, daddy."

he inhaled sharply right before you squeezed at his throat, and he thought that he should maybe let you lead more often if it was going to feel this good. seokmin seemed surprised by the feeling of jeonghan cumming in his mouth, but he did his best to pump every drop from him, swallowing thickly. you only smiled when jeonghan sat up, leaving you behind as he pulled seokmin's face to his, his hands running up jeonghan's thighs as he kissed him.

jeonghan decided the sunroom extension was all wrong, and that he'd have to redo it.

"you just built that," wonwoo said, having been the contractor that oversaw the construction. "besides, it's snowy season, we can't do outdoor construction. you'll have to wait til spring."

"not outdoor," jeonghan said, rolling out the drafting papers he had drawn up over the course of his new year break, the final pieces being completed in the wee hours of that morning. he had sent wonwoo a text as soon as he thought he would be awake, asking for a meeting despite it only being two days after the new year. "the shell can stay the same, we just need to build indoors. besides, i need this done in february."

wonwoo blinked at him. "when in february?"

"it has to be fully furnished by the 18th."

the contractor laughed at the deadline, only a month and a half out, as he looked over jeonghan's drafts. it would be a tight schedule, considering the structural changes he wanted, but he recognized his long time work partner's determination and knew there was little he could do to argue. "okay. let's get to work."

he turned down a contract for a café to make time for the new home project, but not before recommending they contact a kim mingyu, giving him the vaguest thank you for introducing seokmin back into his life. he didn't have time to draw several attempted variations of every café he had ever designed, he was too busy mapping out the logistics of adding a lofted space to the two story sunroom. too busy planning to tear out the outer wall of your office and picking the right sliding glass doors that would lead to the loft. you had to ask him several days in a row before he finally told you what he had planned.

"a music room?"

he tried to gauge your reaction. "is it crazy?"

you broke out into a smile, studying his design, gripping the mug that held your latté that morning. "absolutely, but i love it."

he asked you to help him pick instruments, saying his wishlist included a white grand piano and three to five guitars that could be displayed together. he also told you to pick out your dream computer setup for production - you were graduating that year, afterall, and it was about time you started using something other than your laptop and a midi controller to make music - and you almost started crying from how fucking excited that made you.

hiding the plans from seokmin was the hardest part, especially when he started spending weekends at the house. he saw the construction area often, and one friday afternoon, he had even asked if he could help, leaving you to usher him away and assure him that jeonghan didn't like help when it came to these things. he believed the white lie, allowing you to distract him with the option of watching shit television in bed, even convincing him that tonight was the night to surprise his new boyfriend. seokmin laid in bed with his arms wrapped around you, trying not to move too much, fully aware that even the slightest movements in his body caused his dick to come to life, until the last of the workers left and jeonghan appeared, asking if there were dinner requests before he went to take a shower.

seokmin had been training with you for over a week. you had bought him some toys, even helped him try them out in the comfort of his loft, and he got increasingly excited - generally, but also in those moments - to show jeonghan what he had learned. the surprise he had been keeping had already made him beg you to cockwarm him as he waited, but you refused on account of knowing him, and by extension, knowing that he would not being able to stop himself. he had a bit more confidence, though it may have only been fueled by horniness, when he pulled the vaguely sweaty architect toward him on the bed. he tried to say something about how he should really wash up, but seokmin just kissed him, hands gripping around his skull in desperation, his dick already hard against jeonghan's pelvis.

jeonghan's hands wandered, as they usually did, and when he reached down to palm at seokmin's ass, he reacted in a way that earned him a questioning glance.

"we - ah-" his eyes shut, jeonghan's hands getting closer to his surprise. "she's been helping me-"

and that was when he felt it. the small, hard handle of a plug, situated between seokmin's perky asscheeks, easy to feel through the loose fabric of his shorts, and jeonghan felt his arousal tenting his pants just from the concept.

jeonghan hadn't even noticed your movement off the bed until a bottle of lube hit his leg, looking down at it briefly before looking to you.

"i'm gonna go clean up," you said, running a hand through your hair as you retreated to the bathroom, leaving jeonghan with an already flustered seokmin.

before long, he had him on his back, naked, and finally got to see how sweet his little ass looked when jeonghan pushed his knees towards his chest. when he saw the black knob fitting tightly into his hole, he groaned, his own bare cock flinching in need. he put a hand on seokmin's dick, gripping it lightly, then put a thumb against the plug.

"nngh- fuck," seokmin stammered, fingers gripping at the bedsheets as his neck stretched out against the pillows, bucking into the hand wrapped around him. "j-jeonghan…"

"this is cute," he said, slowly moving his thumb in a circular motion, the plug's movement making seokmin let out choked moans. "but i really need to play with you now."

seokmin nodded, hurriedly, brows knit together. "please."

he hooked his fingers under the knob of the plug, slowly pulling it out and relishing in the reaction. the younger's back arched in a way that jeonghan wished he could see from every angle, knowing that the way his shoulders and back looked must have been incredible, but satisfied by just watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes clamped shut, his fingers gripping at jeonghan's hand where it stayed on his dick.

he began to pump the dick in his palm, setting aside the plug and grabbing the lube, popping it open with just his left hand and quickly squirting a healthy amount onto the tip of seokmin's penis, making quick work of spreading it completely over the engorged member, the slickness making him moan even louder and reach out for jeonghan's shoulders.

he let seokmin tug him over him, kissing him briefly before looking down at where the younger's thighs spread over his, wanting nothing more than to just fuck him already.

jeonghan's hand left seokmin's cock, leaving him whining against his lips, but it was short lived as his lubed fingers slid down to his puckered hole.

"seokmin," he muttered, studying his face. "you're sure, right?"

"fuck, i've been wanting this for since christmas, jeonghan," he sputtered out, eyes barely able to focus when there were fingers teasing his entrance. "yes, please, i'm sure."

jeonghan slid a digit into the tight hole, watching seokmin's face as his brows creased and his head fell back, a moan tumbling from his lips. another finger, jeonghan decided, and the reaction was similar, making him smirk.

"god, you're ready, aren't you?"

"please," he begged. "i want you."

jeonghan sat back, and the musician got on his elbows to watch as he readied his cock with lube, putting more on his finger and spreading it around seokmin's hole. he whined when jeonghan placed the head of his dick at his entrance, tugging him over him again.

"i'll go slow, okay?" jeonghan assured him. "tell me if i need to stop."

seokmin just nodded, eyes trained on his, and they locked lips as jeonghan pushed his hips forward slowly, the man under him immediately moaning and huffing against his mouth.

jeonghan really liked sex with seokmin. he also really liked sex with you. but he was pretty sure he liked it the most when you were both present.

seokmin didn't walk right for a day and a half, and while he was slightly embarrassed, you told him it was a badge of honor he should wear proudly. afterall, he had done the same to you on halloween.

"how's your butt?" you asked when he came down the stairs, the sunday morning after they had done the deed without you, making him choke out a laugh as you got his tea out of a cabinet in jeonghan's kitchen.

"better than yesterday," he said, gingerly seating himself at a stool. "but not as good as friday."

you eyed him. "before or during?"

seokmin thought a second. "both."

"good morning," jeonghan said, quickly planting kisses on the man and then you, cheek and lips respectively based on the convenience as he walked past you, making his way to the espresso machine. "i think i'm gonna work on the sunroom today."

"today?" you asked. "wonwoo's gonna say no."

"wonwoo isn't getting invited. i still have to find furniture," he said, rinsing out the espresso shot glass and wiping down the portafilter. "we're getting close to deadline, i need boo to order the upholstery job on tuesday and i have a meeting tomorrow."

"when's deadline?" seokmin asked, wondering why he had one for a home project.

jeonghan blinked at the wall, not even turning towards the younger. "don't worry your pretty head about it."

you pouted, closing the short distance and wrapping your arms around him, your chin on his shoulder. "it's sunday. can't we cuddled puddle?"

"you mean like we do every night?" jeonghan asked, but grinding espresso beans so you couldn't answer the rhetorical question, packing down the grounds. "if you want to cuddle puddle, don't get out of bed so early."

you huffed as you dropped your arms, leaving him to prep a glass for his americano. "whatever. seokmin and i will have fun without you."

"what kind of fun?"

you stick your tongue out at him, using a teasing voice when you said "wouldn't you like to know."

innocent fun, was the truth, but you thought it was a victimless bluff. you spent the morning sitting on the couch with seokmin while a record played, discussing everything from your favorite movies to your weirdest dreams. you had to get up every six songs or so to flip or change the record, but seokmin liked that every time you rejoined him on the couch, you got closer to his side until you were eventually snuggling into his side, arms wrapped around his torso.

the innocence stopped when jeonghan emerged from his study, joining the two of you for a break. he planted himself on the other side of seokmin, under his arm, letting his hand not-so-subtly run over his thigh. you noticed the contact, peeking around to jeonghan.

"what kind of break are you looking for, hannie?"

he adjusted. "an inspiring one."

you giggled, recognizing the euphemism he used whenever he was stuck on something for work as you leaned back again. "that means he's horny."

seokmin sputtered out a laugh, jeonghan chuckling at your direct observation. "it's hard to not think about you two sitting out here, having fun without me."

"you may not believe it," seokmin said. "but i don't think sex was even on the table for us two today."

jeonghan's eyes met his, and he swallowed harshly. "can it be on the table for all three of us?"

the comfort of returning to bed was hard to deny, especially when they had you laid out against seokmin's chest as he was pressed against the headboard, his mouth attached to your neck and his fingers twisting a nipple, all while jeonghan was digging his digits further into you with his tongue flicking against your clit.

seokmin grunted, rutting his hips against your back. "fuck, he looks good there."

you gasped, nodding, biting at your lip as he kneaded your breast, your fingers digging into jeonghan's hair. "you both do."

jeonghan never struggled to pull you apart, his deft fingers and teasing lips making you squirm and moan until you were shaking, mouth hanging open as your vision blurred and he told you you tasted like candy.

"minnie," jeonghan prompted, making the younger sit up with you whining against him to clean your taste off his fingers. his dick throbbed in need, watching the singer's agile tongue against him, wishing it wasn't just on his fingers.

seokmin had to practically beg jeonghan to fuck him again, but his only hesitation was that he may not have recovered yet. seokmin was on his back and gripped at jeonghan's thighs, urging him forward as your hand twisted around his thick, throbbing cock.

jeonghan swallowed, pausing despite being covered in lube and in position. "you're sure?"

"yes," seokmin said, gasping at your hand on him. "jeonghan, i appreciate you asking, but i'm always sure when it comes to you."

you weren't sure you had ever seen jeonghan blush like that in bed, and you smiled against seokmin's neck as he groaned, his cock firming in your grasp as the older pushed into him. you admired seokmin's silent scream, his head lolling to one side at the feeling.

"angel," jeonghan sighed, settling into the way seokmin squeezed around him. "what do you wanna do?"

you teased a thumb over seokmin's slit. "i wanna ride."

"f-fuuck-" seokmin panted, his hips resting against jeonghan's spread thighs as his knees hung to either side. "i'm not- nngh- gonna last."

"you don't have to," you said matter of factly, adjusting to straddle his torso. jeonghan winced, watching your form as he pumped into seokmin. "we're done when daddy says so."

you put your hand, palm up, over your shoulder, and jeonghan chuckled at the recognized motion for him to spit on your fingers - usually, so that you could slick his dick to sit back on it. you worked jeonghan's spit over seokmin's engorged cock, then slowly lowered yourself onto him.

seokmin stared up at you, eyes fluttering and mouth open, suddenly not only feeling impossibly full, but also absolutely stuffed into you. he moaned out loud when jeonghan bumped into his spot, overwhelmed by the simultaneous pleasure. you fell forward onto his chest, holding yourself up with shaky arms as your face hovered over his, both of you trying to hold off your own demises.

then, jeonghan pushed himself deep into seokmin, who whined, his dick pushing up against your cervix. you nearly collapsed, whimpering as your forehead fell to his, gasping into a desperate kiss. jeonghan groaned, his hand running over your hip as he looked at the intersection of you all, staring at the way you barely contained all of seokmin before he leaned forward and kissed your spine.

"you two will kill me," he said, one hand holding you firmly at your waist while the other gripped seokmin's thigh as he picked up his pace. you both moaned, fingernails digging into the plushest part of your thigh when seokmin questioned how much longer he could hold out at jeonghan's unrelenting pace.

a long, high pitched whine fell from his lips. "fuck, i need to cum," he rushed out, bleary eyes barely opening as he looked at you.

"hang on, baby," jeonghan said. "ladies first."

you babbled against seokmin's lips, somehow never being able to get used to the way he filled you, though jeonghan pushing him into you didn't help. you could do nothing but repeat curses in increasing pitch, pushing your face into seokmin's neck as your walls clamped down around him. his mouth gaped, desperately trying to not succumb to your plush insides before he got the okay.

jeonghan smiled at how seokmin tried to focus on him, despite his hands gripping you as you shook against him. "go ahead, baby."

so seokmin went. and god, he went, coating you internally, immediately squeezing out around his stuffed cock and onto his lap, making jeonghan pant as he kept his hips moving, chasing his own end. he leaned forward, chest pressing against your back as he fucked into seokmin, not stopping until his eyes were clamped shut and he was painting his walls white.

there was a long period of time where none of you moved, then another after you had all managed to untangle from each other. jeonghan sat back, leaning against a hand and scratching his brow as he breathed heavily.

"bathtub cuddle puddle?"

you laughed, chest heaving as you looked over to him, but it was seokmin who spoke. "that sounds nice."

he started to get suspicious when his birthday got closer.

jeonghan told you to suggest a dinner outing for that night to divert attention, but he had caught you moving one of the guitars for the music room only a few days before his birthday, and he looked at you with squinted eyes when he asked if it was for him and you hurriedly said no, hiding the guitar behind your back despite him clearly being able to see it.

"i panicked," you told jeonghan, eyes wide. "he saw it in me. he could tell it wasn't just the guitar."

"it'll be fine, y/n," he said, pushing around potted plants until they satisfied him. "he has to think it's weird that we haven't let him see this room yet, anyways."

you chewed your cheek, looking around the almost completed sunroom. the tall windows showed the light snowflakes falling from the sky, not quite thick enough to leave a layer but enough to make the enclosed yard look slightly pastel. despite the open space that looked out into the cold seoul winter, it stayed cozy, heat radiating from the floorboards and the faux fur rugs laid across them. the space near the entrance had a raised floor with a grand piano, along with several guitars hanging upon the wall, while the area partially covered by the balcony had two heavily cushioned, dark heather gray couches and a bright armchair, adorned with pillows and cable knit blankets.

jeonghan had a slight obsessive nature when it came to his home projects. he was meticulous with contracts, too, but he truly wanted this house to be perfect - not just for him, but for the people he loved. so you watched him rearrange pillows about four more times before you ran up the stairs to the loft to see if he had changed anything there since you had looked the day before.

it almost felt as though it was outdoors, with plants hanging off the edge of the railing and the rustic desk he had originally picked for your office placed to one side. you imagined doing schoolwork here, fantasizing slightly about watching seokmin play piano from your vantage point as you wrote essays. you slid open the glass doors to peek into your new office.

he had painted the walls white, taking a hint from the styling in your own apartment when he picked out a neutral toned couch and light wood shelving, your early graduation present of a computer set up spread across an L shaped desk. he had even paid to have your upright piano moved here, and cut into the next room over to give you more space for an electric drumset. you couldn't help but smile, imagining your friends coming over to record stuff with you. you had always felt strange about inviting them to your rich boyfriend's house, despite him insisting they were welcome, but he had really gone through the trouble of making a room so perfect for all of them that you had no choice.

and it was brighter, you thought. you had told him you worked better in bright spaces.

despite jeonghan's promises, the music room renovation felt like it was as much a gift for you as it was for seokmin. though, maybe he couldn't help it, when the reasons he loved you both overlapped so much.

you went to seokmin's apartment the next day with a bagged gift for him, arriving again right as his client was leaving, and you smiled at the same young man you had seen the first time you had come to visit seokmin. you knew his name now, not because you had spoken to him much, but because you had been told about him by his teacher, and you congratulated him on getting a gig the upcoming weekend.

"oh," jisung said, glancing between the two of you. "he talks about me?"

you laughed and gave him a fighting, seokmin looking upwards to hide his embarrassment as he ushered his student toward the door. "have a nice week, jisung! i'll try to be there this weekend," he said, throwing you a look as you giggled.

"it's not for guitar, you don't have to come," the younger assured. "but if you want to, bring your girlfriend!"

"yeah!" you said, putting your fists on your hips. "i'm getting you dinner for your birthday tonight, the least you can do is take me to an underground rap show!"

"okay, both of you, no more talking," seokmin said, trying and failing to prevent jisung from stopping in his tracks at the news that it was his birthday.

"woah, teach, happy birthday!" he laughed. "you weren't gonna say anything?" he kept talking even as his teacher pushed him out of his apartment.

you couldn't stop grinning when the door closed, seokmin turning to you. he pointed at you, trying to hide his smile as he could only get out a vaguely annoyed "you."

"happy birthday, baby," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. he softened against you, smiling as you pulled away, his hands on your waist as he thanked you quietly.

"he asks about you a lot," seokmin said, joining you when you laughed at the fact. "i think he has a crush on you."

you rolled your eyes. "stop bragging about me, then."

"i don't brag," he said, smiling into another kiss. "i just tell the truth. i can't help that you're a dream come true."

you only pulled away from him to grab the two thick paper bags that you had set on his couch. "c'mon, we gotta head out. open your presents."

seokmin's mouth dropped open when he saw the logo on the bag. "wait, you didn't."

"i had to," you said, giggling as he grabbed one and tugged it open, moving to the couch to pull the garment out. "you said you wanted it."

"where did you find one?" he asked, staring at the corduroy parka from the brand you saw him wear constantly. "they've been sold out for weeks!"

"i got it before then, duh." you poked his cheek when he pouted at you, his eyebrows knit. "there's more, stop getting distracted."

seokmin hugged you extra tight as a thank you for his romantic crown haul, and he decisively pulled on the golden yellow shirt with the pizza on the back, making you grin at how perfectly jeonghan had predicted his thought process before you dragged him out of his apartment to go get dinner.

"we're just picking it up," you said, jangling a keychain. he gave you a quirked eyebrow, and you giggled, pulling him over to jeonghan's car. "do you wanna see it self drive?"

you pushed the side door closed with your butt and called out to jeonghan, saying the birthday boy was here. seokmin took the pizza boxes from your arms and put them on the kitchen counter as jeonghan walked around the stairs.

"well one of us has to change," jeonghan said facetiously, and seokmin looked down at the yellow shirt peeking through his half zipped parka, looking back up at jeonghan, who was wearing the same shirt.

"wait wait wait," you giggled, turning around to undo the zipper of your own jacket, pulling it open as you spun around to reveal that you, too, were wearing the shirt.

seokmin looked between you two with wide eyes, his eyebrows creasing. "you got us matching shirts?"

"pizza shirt gang!" you giggled, stripping off your jacket. "do you like them?"

he smiled into a disbelieving laugh. "how did you know i would put it on?"

"because we know you, minnie," jeonghan said, reaching for his hand after he took off his new coat. "before we eat, i finished the sunroom today, wanna see it?"

"hang on," seokmin stopped, making his hand fall from jeonghan's. "that's not the gift, right?" he looked at you. "the sunroom isn't the gift?"

you pursed your lips, looking at the ceiling, and seokmin started to argue, making jeonghan laughed. "who cares if it's for you, i just want you to come look at it."

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his lover cover his face with his hands, sinking to crouch on the floor as his eyes looked around the large room that was lit by fairy light. the first thing he had seen was the piano, which made him gasp, then he saw the guitars, and looked at your smiling face, suddenly connecting dots, unable to stay standing from the shock as he understood why he hadn't been allowed to help.

and then he started crying.

the two of you ushered him to a couch, sitting him down as he sniffed back the tears. you sat beside him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and cooing, jeonghan crouching on the floor in front of him.

"i'm sorry," jeonghan said, smiling slightly as he gave him an apologetic look. "i didn't mean to overwhelm you."

seokmin choked on a laugh, wiping at his cheeks. "how did you think i'd react?"

"i don't think he thought about it," you whispered, knowing full well jeonghan could hear you.

"i got a little carried away," he admitted, hand rubbing comforting circles on seokmin's leg. "you're special to me, so i wanted to make something special for you."

"this," seokmin said, looking around, gesturing at his surroundings. "this?"

the older huffed out a laugh, almost embarrassed. "yeah, this."

seokmin laughed too, eyes wet as he looked into the other's. "i can't believe you would make something this incredible for me."

"you're incredible," jeonghan said. "i want you to feel welcome in my home."

"i couldn't believe the record wall, either," you offered when seokmin seemed speechless, pressing your cheek against the his shoulder, hand rubbing his back. "jeonghan's love language is a little unique."

seokmin sniffed one more time, studying jeonghan's face, his brow creasing ever so slightly. "holy shit, i'm in love with you."

your heart stopped as you pulled away slightly to look at him, then jeonghan, who was frozen.

"i didn't realize that's what this was," seokmin said, hand gripping the one on his thigh. "i knew i liked you, but this is-"

jeonghan rose quickly, seating himself at seokmin's other side and kissed him. "i love you," he said, thumbs wiping over his slightly damp cheekbones. "it's taken me years to admit it, but i love you."

seokmin kissed him again in response, his face feeling hot from the continued attention. he broke away, only to look around the room again, jeonghan studying his face with a smile as he did.

"i think," seokmin said, clearing his throat when the words came out weak. he looked to you, then to jeonghan. "i think this is the best birthday i've ever had."

jeonghan laughed. "we haven't even had the pizza yet."

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wienerbarnes · 4 years ago

Text

Prisoner

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 646

Warnings: idk confrontation? nothing rlly

A/N: ngl bucky isn't even in this one lol this is just a quick little drabble surrounding the reader and her getting closure with her dad 😌

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

Your foot taps on the concrete floor of the cold building you’re in. You’ve never felt so on edge in your life, sitting in prison. Except you're a visitor, this time around, and not an inmate.

The Avengers logo printed on the breast pocket of your shirt, tucked into tactical pants and your working boots make for your outfit this afternoon. You went for the most uniform look possible that wasn’t your uniform for missions; you weren’t risking absolutely anything.

It’s been well over four years since your “death,” but the thought of returning to a prison made you feel sick to your stomach. But you had to do this. For yourself.

Finally you hear a buzzer sound and inmates trickle in on the other side of the glass. You hear the voices of other men, some greeting their wives, some greeting their family members, some greeting their young children. Your father takes a seat across from you, and stares at you in confusion for a moment before recognition strikes on his face.

The two of you reach for your respective phones to speak to each other.

“You’re that, uh, that Agent. That Marine.” Soft smile on his face.

You researched extensively about your father’s stay in prison, next month making twelve weeks since he’s been here. He’s followed every rule, hasn’t gotten into a lick of trouble. Still going to spend the rest of his life here, though.

“51, wasn’t it?” He asks.

“Uh, yeah.” You confirm, very obviously unaware of how you’re supposed to talk to the man in front of you.

“So, why are you here? Something about what I did? I mean, I’m already doing the time -”

“You really don’t know who I am?” You interrupt.

“No? Look, I’m tired of the little games with all you government officials, just let me -”

His voice stops abruptly at the sound of you muttering your mother’s name.

A pause, “How… How do you know that name?” He asks, voice less angry now.

“I said, how do you know her name, dammit!” He repeats, fist shaking around the hold he has on the phone.

“I’m her… daughter. I’m- I’m your daughter.” You finally confess.

You allow it to sink in for him, and his face slowly morphs from shock to confusion to anger.

“No, no you’re not. I have no daughter. I don’t want anything to do with anything that woman created. It’s my son and me and that’s it.”

“That woman loved me more than you ever can or will in the short time I had her! And now that I’m seeing what a dick you are, as if the whole killing people wasn’t enough, it is so much more satisfying knowing that it was my team that put your ass in here. And you’re going to fucking rot in here, you old fuck!” Your voice is rising as the anger builds in your body.

Maybe it’s the voices taking over in your head, they do love when you lose control. Maybe it’s the atmosphere of prison. Maybe it’s the childhood trauma coming back up. You don’t know and you don’t care, because it feels good to get all this out.

“Hey -” He tries to stop you, guilt and embarrassment clouding his features, but you childishly refuse to let him get the last word.

“Eat shit and die, motherfucker.” You speak into the phone before slamming it back in its place on the wall.

You turn and walk back down the hallway towards the exit, loud bangs from your father’s fists against the glass and his shouts for you are heard, as well as ignored.

You make your way back outside and towards Sam’s car. He lowers the music as you take your seat in the passenger side next to him, “How’d it go?”

“Great,” You tell him with a genuine smile, “Let’s go home.”

#bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes fan fiction #marvel #Bucky Barnes oneshot #what sign y'all think reader is

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jisungsmochi · 5 years ago

Text

something new - pjs

strangers to classmates to friends to lovers - yeah it’s gonna be a doozy

dancer jisung and lowkey trouble maker reader hehe

i’m inlove with park jisung and i truly hope this can give y’all some jisung feels! btw i love this gif sm idk why >.<

word count: 6.7k - as usual sorry for any mistakes !!

---------

she was always used to the same old things. the same old people at the same old prestigious art school. nothing exciting ever happened. until she met park jisung, the new student who taught her that it was okay to love.

—

“y/n, my office, now” the stern voice of the principal echoed through the halls. students’ eyes diverted to you, watching carefully as you practically trotted your way into the office, without a care in the world.

“do you understand how much trouble you are in right now?” the man furiously runs his hands through his hair. you sat quietly, fiddling with your keychain on your backpack.

“look sir, she had it coming! she spread rumours about me!” you groaned, trying your best to reason.

“i understand that, but you cannot take out your anger on her like that! i mean, setting up a whipped cream and glitter bomb in her locker? what even is that?” he sighed, finally taking a seat. you just kept playing with your keychain, listening to the words go through one ear and out the other.

“i’m sorry okay? how much will the damage be? i’ll have a cheque by the end of the week” you internally rolled your eyes, not feeling much remorse for your actions.

“no, we don’t want your family’s money. you have to be taught a lesson. you will clean the mess you made. and you will continue to clean the dance studio from top to bottom each day after school” the principal folded his arms, finally finding his composure.

“you’re kidding? do you know how scuffed the floors get? how dirty the mirrors are?” you stood up in protest.

“well i’m sorry but we can’t let you bribe your way out of this one. you crossed a line when you put others at risk. your punishment begins today.” he wasn’t budging anytime soon. you decided to just back down and do as you were told.

if your parents found out about your little predicament, you’d have your allowance taken away for at least a month.

you began scrubbing the front of the locker, loudly sighing during the process. you were now on the ground, scrubbing away when a pair of scuffed leather shoes met your eyes. you looked up at the boy who owned the shoes, he had his hands in the pockets of his blazer and a confused look on his face. you quickly stood up, flattening your uniform.

“hey, i’m wondering if you can help me out” he spoke first, staring right into your eyes.

“let me guess? you’re new?” you smirked, leaning against the, now clean, locker.

“yeah, how did you know?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“well first of all, you have all your buttons up on your shirt and you didn’t cuff your pants. not to mention, you’re using the backpack with the school logo, you’re kind of easy to point out” you smiled softly as he nervously coughed.

“o-oh, is it bad to be new? i’m on a scholarship, will the others think less of me?” he began mumbling to himself which made you amused.

“not really, as long as you have talent, no one really cares. what did you get in for?” you didn’t know why you were being so social, especially to someone you’ve never met.

“dance, how about you?” he questioned back.

“same here, i’ll see you around a lot um...” you bit your lip, realising you didn’t ask for his name,

“jisung” he responded immediately,

“ah yes jisung, i’m-“

“y/n! have you finished cleaning?” the voice of the grumpy old man approached you. you rolled your eyes to jisung, causing him to smile, which you found adorable. your principal finally stood between you both,

“stop terrorising our new students thank you! get back to class! mr park, please follow me” your principal stated, walking towards his office.

“see you later, jisung!” you waved softly, his hand reached for the side of your face, causing you to immediately freeze.

“sorry, you had a little cream there” he smirked before wiping it off, and turning to follow your principal.

that was the day you met park jisung.

it was the end of the day, and you were wiping down the last specs of dust left on the mirror. you let out a loud groan before throwing the cloth back into the bucket.

“bad day?” you heard a familiar voice followed by a chuckle.

“you could say that” you turned to jisung, watching as he entered the studio.

“why exactly are you cleaning the studio, well after school has ended?” jisung walked closer to you.

“let’s just say, my whipped cream and glitter prank from this morning didn’t sit well with the principal so i’m on cleaning duty until further notice” you shrug, removing your gloves and placing them into the bin. “what are you doing here anyway?” you decided to question back.

“i live on campus, i wanted to scope out the studio since i didn’t have a dance class today” he responded, looking around the room in awe.

“fair enough. i’ll give you a mini tour! here we have a random piano, i’m really not sure why but it fit into the budget” you explained as jisung followed your every move.

“this is the sound system, it’s not too advanced compared to the one in the school auditorium, it’s easy enough to use for solo practices and such” you blabbed on, jisung listening to each word coming out of your mouth carefully. he nodded along, feeling a sense of belonging in the studio. if you weren’t there, he most likely would have just started dancing on his own. but he was still shy around you, and with most people.

“there isn’t much to it, but you’ll enjoy your classes here!” you smiled at him, while leaning against the piano.

“thanks for the recap, i can’t wait to start dancing. i’ve been doing it since i could remember. it’s always been a part of my life” jisung started rambling.

“i totally get it, i’m glad you got into this school. we need more kids with drive and passion. rather than the ones with daddy’s money” you throw shade as jisung just laughs along.

“i’m not so blessed in that department. my family are miles away, hence why i board at the school. i’m sorry, i’m oversharing” he mutters to himself, loud enough for you to hear.

“oh well, i think it’s cool that you can live alone. i mean, aside from having a roommate, you won’t be nagged to do chores and such” you tried to lighten up the mood as jisung shot you a small smile that you couldn’t resist.

“thanks, i appreciate the advice! it seems like you’re done and dusted here, i’ll be heading back to my dorm. have a nice night, y/n” and just like that, he made his way out of the studio, leaving you alone. part of you had wished he stayed and talked to you more, but it was only his first day, you didn’t expect much. after locking the door to the studio, you returned the keys to the front office and made your way home.

you immediately crashed onto your bed, proceeding to take a long nap to distract you from today’s punishments. ‘tomorrow will be a new day’, you mumbled to yourself before you drifted to sleep.

“y/n! you are going to be late to school!” your brother, johnny barged into your room. he was shirtless and holding a bowl of cereal in his hands.

“shit shit shit” you mentally scolded, launching yourself out of bed.

“don’t you have work? oh wait i forgot, you leech off our parents!” you groaned at the older boy, rushing to get ready.

“jeez, you’re little miss sunshine this morning. you already missed first period, i’ll drive you in time for recess. you know, you’re lucky to have me” johnny smirked before leaving your room and heading downstairs. you roll your eyes while furiously brushing your teeth. it wasn’t unusual for you to be late, but you never skipped first period. your code of conduct was to skip classes during the day, not before it has even started.

you creased down your uniform before meeting johnny in his convertible.

“finally! i have places to be!” he teased, before ruffling your hair.

“you ruined it!” you sighed before attempting to fix what you could.

“my bad, princess” johnny laughed before starting the car and rushing you to school.

he did stick by his word; you had just arrived before the bell went for recess. fingers crossed that you didn’t bump into your first period teacher.

you were quickly pacing to your locker, when someone smashed into you, knocking you both down.

“oh y/n! i’m so sorry!” you heard his voice again. you looked up at the boy, watching as he leant you his hand.

“where were you rushing off to?” you decided to tease, looking up at him.

“i need to hand in this form. i’m going to sign up for the showcase!” he excitedly beamed.

“ambitious, aren’t we?” you smiled as he returned the action. you both starting walking with each other, towards your locker.

“you didn’t come to dance class first period was everything okay?” he politely asked. in which you admired his gentle personality.

“i just slept in, all that cleaning yesterday has really got me exhausted” you joked, stopping at your locker.

“i can help you!” he blurted, causing you to give him a confused look,

“don’t be silly! i’m okay” you replied, kind of flattered by his offer.

“no! i’m cool with it, we can finish cleaning in half the amount of time, and uh maybe we can just go over our routines for the showcase” he mumbled the second half, which made you smile.

“hmmm you’re not trying to sabotage me? are you?” you smirked, while opening your locker.

“no no! i would never! i just haven’t seen you dance, that’s all” his face started to flush pink.

“i’m kidding, jisung! of course we can do that. i’ll pay for lunch! today is sushi day” before he could even respond, you practically dragged the boy towards the cafeteria.

sitting with jisung, felt like sitting with a friend you had known for a long time, despite only meeting the day prior.

he was so well spoken, shy at times but otherwise a good conversationalist. you watched him scan his eyes around the cafeteria, consuming the last of his sushi.

“thank you for paying! i’ll pay you back when my mum sends me my allowance!” he offered. you shook your head in refusal,

“save your money! this is my treat” you smiled at him, finishing off your last piece.

“thank you again. this school is so much different from my old one. we never had sushi, or a cafeteria this big! it’s like a whole other world” jisung spoke with such awe and admiration.

“really? what did they have at your old school?” you were curious,

“i mean we usually bought our own food from home because well, everything there was just foul” he chuckled as you smiled at him.

people started to notice that you had been hanging around the new kid a lot, it resulted in confused stares and awkward glances. you didn’t have the best reputation. you were a complete menace, but you did play tricks here and there. many just assumed that your parents bought your way into the school and that you didn’t have any talent.

you let people think what they wanted; it was easier than trying to constantly prove yourself to those who believe you aren’t enough.

as you were walking out of your english class, you heard some girls whispering behind the door.

“jisung, we know you’re new here but she’s bad news. she gets away with really dangerous things! “one girl harshly exclaimed, you stood frozen, waiting for his response.

“like what?”

“she smokes and drinks whenever she has the chance to. she always plays dangerous pranks on others! and she always uses her money to get out of things” another girl continued. you couldn’t handle listening anymore. to make it clear you heard everything, you slammed your books to the ground, causing the group of girls and jisung to look down at you. you grabbed everything in your arms and just smiled, with a hint of bitterness behind it. jisung was conflicted on what to do, he didn’t follow behind you, but he also didn’t stay with the girls. he thought it was best he didn’t get involved with drama, so he made his way to the dance studio.

school had just finished, meaning you were ready to begin day two of cleaning duty. you picked up the supplies from the custodian, dragging everything to the studio. you groaned as some of the cleaning solution leaked when you made it to the door. as you bent down to clean the mess, you heard music playing from the studio. you weren’t aware that anyone else, but you had access, so out of curiosity you peeped through a small crack of the door. it was jisung.

he was practicing some moves. you stared in awe. he was so clean, so technical. he wasn’t like any of the other male dancers at your school, that’s for sure. you almost forgot that you had to be cleaning. it didn’t take long for jisung to stop dancing. he huffed in frustration, cradling himself in a ball in the middle of the studio. you decided to knock softly before entering,

“um jisung?” the boy looked up at you, his eyes brimming with tears.

you pulled the cart of equipment into the studio, setting them aside, before walking towards the upset boy.

“a-are you okay?” you kneeled down to face him.

he sniffled and nodded.

“yeah just, missing home, i guess. my moves aren’t as sharp as i want them to be” he sighed, causing you to shake your head.

“what are you talking about? you’re such a good dancer! well from what i saw” his eyes widened, mouth agape.

“y-you saw me?”

“yeah, you’re amazing” you complimented as he blushed, trying to hide it behind his hands

“and for the whole homesick thing, it must be hard not seeing your family. i can kind of relate, i only really talk to my brother at home. but he’s trying to find a job and stuff so it’s always quiet” you confide in him, sitting so your legs were crossed. he did the same.

“don’t get me wrong! i like my roommate, he’s really cool. i just want to talk to my mum” jisung mumbles, making your heart ache.

you gave him a small pat on the shoulder, not sure of how to comfort him.

“i’m sorry i’m over sharing again! you’re here to clean! i’ll help you, as i promised” jisung immediately stood up, holding out a hand for you to take. you took it instantly, letting him pull you up, but you ended up tripping over your foot. you were now face to face with jisung as he held you. you hadn’t noticed how gorgeous his eyes were, since strands of his hair covered them most of the time. you eventually pulled away, awkwardly making your way to the equipment.

jisung followed behind you as you both started cleaning. his phone was still connected to the speakers, so as you cleaned, you also jammed to his music.

it definitely made time go by faster with jisung’s company. he was always cracking lame jokes, trying to get you to smile. you noticed how his gaze would always linger on you after telling a joke to see your precise reaction. it made him smile whenever you laughed.

“well i think we are just about done here!” you cheered, throwing a dirty towel into the bucket.

you walked over to jisung who had finished before you, now playing on his phone.

“finally, i didn’t think you were going to finish without my help” he teased, smiling up at you. you rolled your eyes, looking back at him.

“hey, you have a lil something here” you mutter, swiping your finger over the side of his mouth, removing the small specs of dirt.

“o-oh t-thanks” jisung blushed again, shocked by your actions. you just nodded in response.

“can i ask you something?” he continued,

“of course,”

“is what those girls said, true?” he didn’t break eye contact with you. you were hoping you wouldn’t need to even have this conversation with him. especially since you barely knew him.

“some of it. i used to smoke and drink, but i’ve stopped now. it affected my motivation to continue dancing. and yes, whenever i got into trouble, my parents tried to pay my way out of it” you admitted to him. it was better he knew now. there goes your only friend at the school.

“oh” was all he could say. jisung wasn’t sure what he felt. part of him never saw you as that type of girl, you were too different to him, too out of reach.

you nervously played with your fingers, which was a major habit of yours. jisung senses your uncomfortable nature. he stood up from where he was sitting, looking down at you.

“thanks for being honest with me. if you were worried about me not wanting to be friends with you, you can forget it. i’m not the type to drop someone because of other people’s perceptions. besides, you’re my only friend here so far, i kind of need you” jisung chuckled at the last part, making you instantly smile. he had such a way with words that made you feel like he could do no wrong. the guilty feeling in your stomach started forming.

you didn’t want jisung to get involved with your reputation, he didn’t need to be a target for other people’s comments. he was capable of making his own friends and being great at this school.

but he was so persistent about being your friend.

in the days following, jisung waited for you every day at this bench near the front of the school. he walked you to all your first period classes, always ate lunch with you. you were flattered by his generous gestures, but you were still worried about what others thought.

one day, you were home alone, as usual. your parents having to attend with multiple work trips, your brother trying to sustain a stable job. it left you alone.

there was only one person you wanted to talk to, that would keep you company. but he was all the way back at school in his dorm.

“ahh y/n, how lovely of you to call! not like i’ve sent you a thousand messages” jisung’s face filled your phone screen.

“you’re just obsessed with me, admit it” you smirk as jisung rolls his eyes.

“you wish” he strikes back.

“anyways, i’m bored, wanna do something?” you asked, waiting for him to brainstorm an idea.

“oh, i’m practising my piece for the showcase today, you think you can get me into the studio?” he suddenly realised, you nodded enthusiastically.

“you underestimate me sometimes, my dear. i can get you in and out without a single soul seeing you” you teased as jisung laughs hysterically.

“okay okay, meet me there in 15!” he hangs up the call, leaving you a smiley mess, making your way to school.

you met jisung at his dorm room, he was dressed in casual attire. a blue flannel over his white t shirt, matched with grey sweatpants and black shoes. you walked towards the dance studio in school. although it was meant to be closed, you were able to convince the custodian to let you in out of school hours. you owed him a free meal for him and his wife at some fancy restaurant later, but it was worth it.

jisung hooked up his phone to the speakers, before he began stretching. you were so excited to see him in his element again.

“can i film you, sungie? i think it’s a good memory for our ever-lasting friendship” you smirked, placing your phone top of random objects to film him. he shook his head in amusement,

“go ahead”

you smiled widely at him, seating yourself to the side, observing his movements. he was mesmerising. the way he moved, the way his body adapted so well to the music, you were impressed. jisung noticed your various expressions, stopping his routine.

“why’d you stop?” you poured, walking up to him.

“you’re staring! it’s making me shy!” he chuckled, softly budging your shoulder.

“dance with me” he insisted. you shook your head,

“no, we came for you to practice!” you tried to walk back to your seat when jisung gripped your wrist, pulling you into him.

“come on, for me?” it was his turn to pout. you couldn’t resist how adorable he was. you just nodded in response, pulling away from him to play the song you were planning to do for the showcase.

jisung stood beside you, staring at the mirror, watching you take your position. it had been a while since you had danced properly in front of anyone. you tried your best to participate in class, but it was rare that everyone was focused on one individual person. you felt nervous infront of jisung, and it wasn’t only because of your dancing.

you started your choreography, you admitted you were sloppy at the start, still having unsettled nerves. but as the song progressed, you felt your body finally let itself go. you were able to put on a show for jisung, he was amazed at your skill.

“y/n, that was really cool! i loved when you did this move” he tried to replicate it and ended up tripping, pushing himself into you. you laughed at the clumsy boy, pulling him to stand straight.

“thanks! i really appreciate it”

jisung fiddled with the sleeves of his flannel, looking to you and back down. you furrowed your brows, unsure if he wanted to say something.

“i have an idea. you really don’t have to even consider this, but how about we enter the showcase, as a duo?” jisung muttered softly, unsure of your reaction. you felt a warm feeling take over your body. dancing with jisung seems like just the thing to help your friendship strengthen.

you placed a hand on his shoulder,

“sure, partner. where do we start?” you smiled as he looked at you with his mouth agape, shocked you agreed.

the rest of the afternoon was spent, deciding the song and beginning the first few seconds of choreography.

it was fair to say, you were both confident about this showcase.

it had been a few weeks since that practice with jisung. you met up twice a week to practice since the showcase wasn’t until the end of the semester. your cleaning duties had been fulfilled,

“at last, miss y/n, you are free of your duties” your principal gives you a small smile, finally feeling you had learned your lesson,

“it’s a pleasure to be of service” you saluted, causing him to let out a small laugh.

“maybe that jisung kid has something to do with it” he joked, causing you to freeze inside. just hearing his name made you nervous.

you weren’t so clear how you felt about jisung. he was always there when you needed him to be, but does that really equate to you having a crush on him?

from then on, you began thinking about what it’d be like to be in a relationship with jisung. you found yourself dozing off in the library, thoughts of how jisung would hold you in his long arms and kiss the top of your forehead an-

“psstttt”

your thoughts were interrupted by jisung’s efforts to snap you out of your trance.

he started clicking in front of your face and poking your cheeks. you finally looked at him, giving him a slight scowl.

“jeez, have you been getting enough sleep? you aren’t usually this irritable” he smirked, watching as you brought your focus back to your english homework.

“i’m fine, just a little tired from practice lately” you have him a soft smile, watching as he nodded in agreement.

“ah i’m sorry if i’ve been pushing you, i want everything to be perfect” he sighed, feeling guilty.

“it’s okay! really! i’ll be all good for the showcase, only three more weeks to go”

it was now two weeks until the showcase and jisung had been insisting you practiced at least four times a week. you did feel overwhelmed at some points in time, but you didn’t want to let him down. meanwhile, you were still deciphering your feelings towards him. usually if you liked a boy, it would be clear to you. black and white. you were either interested or not interested. but park jisung was that bit of grey you couldn’t quite figure out.

during practices, he would always move a piece of hair from your face when he was trying to correct your moves. he would hold your waist multiple times in the dance, as well as pull your faces close together. your choreography didn’t seem this intense when you first started, but now with the baggage of possible romantic feelings being involved, had you panicking.

why wouldn’t you like jisung? he was sweet, kind and caring. he was the good boy, the safe option. he could do no wrong in your eyes, he would never be the one to hurt you. but why couldn’t you just go for it?

you were sitting in the library once again, writing up your english paper. your mind floating off to thoughts of jisung. how he would hold your hand. how he would walk next to you and pull you into his side. how he would kiss you...

you shook your head to stop the thoughts from continuing. you eventually opted into writing down your feelings. maybe if you wrote them down, you wouldn’t think about it as much. your logic clearly had flaws, but you were desperate to let them out one way or another.

dear jisung,

you will literally never see this. and if you do i would probably die of embarrassment. you’re meant to be my best friend. my dance partners. the peanut butter to my apple slices (just an us thing). but why can’t i get you off my mind? you’re always there. your unforgettable smile and laughter, which always make my days less crappy. your sweet gestures such as holding my books, walking me to class, eating dessert with me even though we literally just finished a whole ass meal.

if you ever gave me a chance to express how i felt, i don’t know if i would take it. i’m too scared. you’re too good for me. you’re the good boy with a gift for dancing. i don’t want to drag you down or be the reason people talk about you behind your back. you are special to me; you always will be. i want to be with you, more than anyone i’ve ever liked. but, i can’t let go of you being my friend. i can’t bear the thought of losing you or pushing you away. i’m so troubled jisung, i hope you understand me. what does it matter?

you groan in frustration. you couldn’t even finish a stupid letter about your own feelings. You scrunched up the piece of paper, noticing someone standing over you.

“there you are! i’ve been looking for you, a-are you okay?” jisung’s voice became immediately concerned. you just grabbed your stuff hurriedly, before mumbling that you needed to go home. jisung didn’t chase after you, unsure of what to say. he looked down on the ground, picking up the ball of paper you had scrunched. he shrugged before opening the letter, letting his eyes scan over every word.

you were sitting on the bench of an empty park, swinging your legs slowly. you enjoyed the silence. no one was there to bother you. or tell you what to do or how to feel. you felt at ease.

“y/n” jisung’s muffled voice interrupted your silence. you turned back slowly, watching as jisung’s figure came into vision. he had a crumpled piece of paper tightly gripped in his hand.

“jisung, t-that’s not what it looks like. i didn’t even know what i was writing honestly- “

“do you like me?” jisung interrupted you, his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

“i-i don’t know” you mumbled. jisung sighed, walking over to you. he stood directly in front of you, making it harder for you to try and lie.

“i’ll ask you again, do you like me?” he spoke softly, making you feel guilty.

you responded by slowly nodding, feeling tears brim your eyes. jisung looked at you in pity. he didn’t understand why it was so hard for you to admit it.

“then why did you say that you can’t be with me?” his face looked swollen, as if he had shed a few tears of his own. he took your hand in his, shoving away the letter.

“because it’s going to get complicated. i don’t want that for you” you muster up the courage to speak.

“would you change your mind if i said i want to be with you?” his hands were warm against yours. his entire presence was warm.

“i’m not sure”

“that’s all you can say? y/n, it’s not rocket science, you either like me or you don’t” he was getting quite irritated but tried his best not to show it.

“i do, jisung. i like you a lot, but i can’t let feelings get involved in our friendship. i love having you as my friend. we work so well together, anything more could potentially ruin us” you sobbed, jisung’s eyes filled with hurt. he couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth.

“i didn’t think you could be this selfish. you are just afraid to get hurt. so am i. you don’t think that i haven’t thought of you that way? i want to be with you. i want to hold you when you’re upset like this. i want to kiss you and take you out on dates. why won’t you let me do that?” jisung’s voice cracked in between. you heart stung with pain.

“i’m not good enough, jisung. i can’t be what you want” you sighed, watching as tears started brimming his eyes. you hurt him. you hurt him like no one had ever before.

“you know what, fine. you wanna be selfish then i’ll be too. i’m not performing with you anymore. since you can’t be with me, consider this friendship. over.” he sternly announced to you, unsure of what else to say. before you could get a word in, he stormed off, not before throwing your crumpled letter into the bin.

you lost your best friend that day.

in the days leading up to the showcase, you and jisung had yet to have spoken. you watched as he constantly had new people to talk to in the halls now. he would sit with a new group almost every day. he was so likeable, so carefree. this only confirmed your assumption that you were holding him back.

since losing jisung, you had slipped into old habits. casual drinking with some of your friends in college didn’t hurt.

of course, until you wake up with a massive headache and your older brother yelling at how stupid you are.

“put a sock in it, johnny” you groan, not wanting him to lecture you anymore.

“what is your problem? you promised you would stop drinking and look where you are now” he continued yelling, causing you to roll your eyes.

“it’s not as bad as before” you tried to argue.

“even if that’s the case, you shouldn’t have started anyway” he pulled at his hair before slamming your bedroom door shut as he left. you rolled yourself to your side and started sobbing. you missed jisung. more than he would ever know.

two days before the big showcase, you had been drinking once again. you weren’t completely off your head drunk, but tipsy enough that people could notice you had something to drink. you were currently sitting at the park bench, no one else in sight, sipping your sadness away.

you barely remembered pulling out your phone, clicking on jisung’s contact.

it rang three times before he picked up,

“what do you want?” his voice was filled with distaste.

“jisungie, i miss youuuuu” your words slurred, causing jisung to become concerned.

“y/n? are you drunk?”

“maybe a little bit” you started giggling uncontrollably.

“where are you? are you at home?” he was already in his pajamas but got ready to head out.

“no i’m at the park, there’s little birdies, jisung! ooo that one looks like you” you chuckled,

“stay there, i’m coming to get you” he hung up and rushed out of his from, trying not to wake up his roommate.

you were almost half asleep, when jisung arrived. he ran to you, your tipsy state becoming clearer to him. it was freezing out, and you didn’t have a jacket on.

“oh y/n” he sighed, pulling you up with him and leading you to his car.

“oh jisungie, i missed you so much” you started pulling at his cheeks.

he seated you in the passenger side, strapping you in safely before making his way to the driver’s side. he turned on the heater in the car, removing the jacket he was wearing to wrap around you.

“thank you, this is so warm, like your hugs” you smiled, leaning your head against the window.

“what were you doing outside, all alone?” jisung knew you weren’t in the right mind to have a deep conversation, but he hoped he would be able to get some answers.

“i don’t know. i was just drinking and i walked here. this is where you told me you didn’t want to be my friend” you whispered the last part, causing jisung to look right at you. he felt a pang of guilt build inside of him.

“this isn’t who you are. you’re better than this. we can sit here for a while until you feel better, then i’ll take you home” jisung assures you, waiting for you to respond. you nodded slowly, changing the topic to random things such as how milk shouldn’t go before cereal. jisung didn’t want to overwhelm you that day. but he knew he needed proper answers soon.

“okay everybody! show starts in exactly thirty minutes!” the showcase coordinator shouted backstage. jisung was going over the final details of his routine. as much as he wished you were up on stage with him, he couldn’t let that distract from his performance. you were pacing outside of the auditorium, as jisung had come out for fresh air before the show. you didn’t notice him, but he definitely saw you. he turned on his heels instantly, grabbing your attention. you ran up to him, reaching for his shoulder.

“jisung” you whimpered, he turned around, a stoic expression on his face. this was the first time you two had properly been able to speak with each other, minus a tipsy you.

“good luck” was all you could muster up to say to him.

“thanks, is that all?” he retorted, with slight bitterness in his voice.

“and i’m sorry” jisung’s expression softened. he couldn’t hold a grudge for long, it was one of his weaknesses. he just nodded, giving your shoulder a small squeeze.

“we can talk after the show, you gonna watch?” he nervously suggested, watching as your eyes lit up.

“of course! i wouldn’t have missed it” you smiled softly at him; he returned the look before heading backstage to prepare.

you took a seat in the audience, waiting for jisung’s name to be called. you weren’t sure what type of routine he would be going for, but you were still excited nonetheless, the whole school will finally get to witness his talent.

jisung waddled on stage, creating a very refreshing atmosphere compared to the other acts. he put himself in position, waiting for the music to start. your heart was beating so fast, seeing jisung in his element had you in awe. he started moving, each bone in his body stringing along to the melody of the song. it took you a while to realise that he was performing the duet you were meant to do with him. instead he put an alternative twist. he told a story, of a lone dancer, pining for the presence of someone. it really captivated the audience; your eyes were glued on him. he executed the performance with such ease, much better than you ever could. but that was park jisung, he was always going to be better than what you deserved.

as jisung made his way backstage, many students congratulated him on how well he had danced. he was visibly shaken at the amount of attention he was receiving, he just thanked everyone quickly before rushing outside to see if you were there. to his surprise, you were leaning against the locker you both met at, many weeks ago. jisung smirked, walking over to you and pulling you into a hug. while you and jisung were friends, you both weren’t too fond of physical affection outside of the dance studio. so, when he pulled you into him, your heart stopped. your hands didn’t know where to go, you just froze. eventually you caved in, not being able to bear leaving the boy hanging. since he was taller, you saw the way his legs bent just to embrace you, making you start to giggle.

“what’s so funny huh?” he rolled his eyes,

“our height difference, it’s cute” you both pulled back, not letting go of each other’s hands.

“you did our dance” you started, watching as jisung turned his gaze to his shoes.

“yeah i did. i couldn’t just come up with new choreo like that” he clicked his fingers, before placing his hand back in yours.

“jisung i truly don’t deserve you” you sigh. jisung places his large hand on the side of your face, softly caressing your cheek. he stepped closer to you, so that there was barely any space between you.

“stop saying that, we know it’s not true”

“i don’t want to hurt you” you mumble, looking up at the tall boy. jisung continued to caress your cheek, softly smiling before leaning his face close to yours.

“i can assure you, you won’t hurt me” his voice vibrates through you. his reassurance, calming your nerves. you nodded slowly, unsure of how to continue.

“can i do something?” you whisper, causing his lips to curve into a smile.

“anything”

you moved his other hand to cup both of your cheeks and pushed your lips against his. jisung’s eyes widened, realising what you had done, before softly running one hand to the small of your back. he continued what you had started, moving his lips generously with yours. you both didn’t instead to stop anytime soon, until you heard the familiar cranky voice of your principal,

“y/n! jisung! we are still on school grounds! take it somewhere else!” he shook his head in disappointment, resulting in you and jisung to burst into laughter.

“let’s go celebrate!” you turned to jisung, placing another kiss to his soft lips before intertwining you’re hand with his.

“wait so you’re my girlfriend now?” jisung stopped you as you both were about to leave the gates.

“jisung! i wouldn’t have semi-made out with you at school, infront of our principal, if i didn’t want to be your girlfriend” you teased, as the taller boy blushed.

“yeah, you’re right, let’s go eat some phat burgers!” he cheered as you both entered his car.

jisung taught you it was okay to let go once in a while. it was okay to be silly and not take the whole world seriously. he taught you that it was okay to love. you can never forget him,

park jisung, your first love.

#park jisung #jisung imagine #nct imagine #nct dream imagines #nct dream #nct jisung imagine #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #jisung fluff #nct au #nct fic #jisungsmochi masterlist #jisungsmochiimagines

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spideyscnse · 5 years ago

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hey, i saw u were taking requests and i really love your writing!! could u possibly do something where reader is a nerd and she works at a bookstore and peter comes in?? idk where to go from there but i’d like it to be super fluffy and cute if u like :))) thank u so much x

a/n: hi! aw, i’m so flattered that you love my writing! i’m so so sorry for taking so long, but i was so excited by this idea when i saw it because it’s so cute! to make up for it i wrote 3k words and made it extra cute :) hope you enjoy

sci-fi

pairing: peter parker x booknerd!reader

word count: 3k

warnings: none :) just super cute fluff and pureness

summary: y/n is so much of a book lover that the moment she hit fifteen, she applied for a job at her favourite, local bookstore. one day, a boy called peter parker shows up at the store.

note: please don’t plagiarise my work!

masterlist

You had your earbuds in as you left the school through the back gate—the gate that would take the least amount of time to get to the bookstore. You had work today, and it was why Tuesdays and Thursdays were your favourite days of the week.

Your school was a small one, almost adjacent to the prestigious Midtown High, where all of the smart kids went. You went to a girl’s private school opposite to it, and while you liked her school well enough, you sometimes wished that you’d applied to Midtown instead. Just because it seemed so much bigger and fun. Maybe it was just you, though.

The store was a fifteen-minute walk away, and you managed to get through four songs on your way there.

Pulling out your earbuds and switching off your music, you pushed the door open with a soft tinkle and made your way into the store. The relaxing smell of worn pages and coffee greeted you instantly, and just at the scent, you felt yourself calm, because it was such a homely feeling for you.This was where you were when you weren’t at school or at home, and it had been your place to go since you were very little.

“Good afternoon, Jane,” You called out to the manager, who sat at the checkout desk, and the kind lady gave you a warm smile, like she did every time she saw you.

“Hey, Y/N,” She responded, glancing up from the tablet she was scrolling through, no doubt checking through book orders, “You got here quickly, today.”

You chuckled, “Oh, yeah, I saw on Instagram that the next book in my favourite series got released yesterday and I rushed here as soon as I could.”

“Alright,” Jane said with an amused, affectionate look in her eyes, “Well, go get changed into your uniform and then you can go find that book you want.”

Eagerly, you nodded and headed to the back room to drop off your bag and change out of your school’s uniform—a white blouse and dark green skirt. The school logo was embroidered over the chest pocket of the shirt, and a silver and green tie hung from around your neck, tucked neatly under the collar.

Quickly, you pulled out your work clothes, which were far more comfortable—Jane was pretty loose on the dress code, so long as you wore the lanyard and name badge. So, today you’d opted to bring a grey sweatshirt and leggings, which would be cosy enough for you to walk between the shelves and look for people who needed help—also, for you to find that book you needed.Once you’d folded up your school uniform and slipped it neatly into your bag, you stepped out into the store again, greeted by the smell again, that you’d never get tired of.You headed to the YA aisle, the one where you knew your book would be, and you spotted it immediately—it was sitting gloriously on the new releases table, and you quickly snatched up a copy, flipping through it and letting out a satisfied sigh. You resisted the urge to just start reading it then and there, reminding yourself that you were at work and there were customers all around you. So, instead you slipped it into the front pocket of your sweatshirt, making a mental note to pay for it when you left.

Despite your efforts to focus, though, the thoughts of that one book remained swirling in your mind. This made it very difficult to maintain a calm tone of voice when people asked you for help finding things, just because on the inside, you were far too excited.

But you still went about your job like you always would—calmly, kindly, and patiently. Even with the people who complained to you about the prices, or tried to haggle you for a deal, no doubt thinking you’d give it to them, since you were young and looked it, too.

You were sorting through a massive stack of books that had arrived the day before, unboxing each, marking them down and then ordering them alphabetically on the new shelves, when somebody tapped you on the shoulder and made you jump…probably more dramatically than you needed to.

You dropped the two books that were in your hands at the time, and yelped, “I’m sorry! What did you need—?”

Your sentence was cut off as you caught sight of the boy’s face, and the words evaporated from your tongue. He had curly, chocolate-brown hair and warm, wide eyes that were currently filled with concern and shock…at your surprise, probably.

But he was extraordinarily pretty, and you found yourself looking away, leaning down to pick up the books you’d dropped. You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry, what did you need help with?”

“Uhh,” He seemed to be almost at a lost for words as he glanced at you, suddenly nervous, “I was looking for some books for my science project? I wasn’t sure where I should start…”

You smiled, and he blushed, and you gestured for him to follow you. It was rare that a high school kid came in looking for books about science—didn’t most people just find things online nowadays for school assignments?—nevertheless, you decided this boy was far too precious to just refer him to online.Especially not when this bookstore had such a great range of science books; while you loved your fiction, the science was your second favourite.

As you approached the wall, even the boy seemed to be kind of in a sense of awe. You began to talk, hiding your amusement at his amazement. “This is the science wall! It’s my second favourite section, and it’s got basically everything.” You pointed to the said areas as you explained, “They’re organised by subtopics, so you’ve got bio here, and then physics, chem, and so on.”

“What would you recommend for a physics assignment?”

You gave him a curious look, “Well, the ones with the green spines are really detailed,” you started, even though you weren’t quite sure exactly what he was looking for. “If you’re into more basic stuff, the ones on the very left of the shelf, and the more complex stuff is to the right.”

He was quiet for a long moment after you finished. You weren’t sure if he was soaking up the information or just blanked out. Regardless, it left you standing there half-smiling, basking in the awkwardness.It was almost twenty seconds later that the boy seemed to remember that you were waiting for his response, and he immediately flushed, “I’m so sorry, thanks for taking me here—um, sorry, I didn’t get your name…”

“It’s Y/N,” You responded, pointing at the name tag that was pinned onto your lanyard, “And yours?”

“Peter,” He responded shyly, running a hand nervously through his curls, “What school do you go to? I don’t think I’ve seen you around on campus.”

“I go to Y/S/N,” You explained, sheepish, even though you weren’t sure why you were so nervous, and why your palms were sweating, “It’s a girls’ private school, which is probably why you don’t see me at school.” You laughed off your nerves, even though you felt heat begin to crawl through your cheeks.

Peter seemed to deflate a bit, the smile fading from his eyes, “Well, then, I won’t be able to see you. I was hoping you went to my school…”

“Guess you’ll have to come ‘round to the bookstore more often, then,” You said teasingly, “To get your books for your smart-kid assignments. Assessments are mostly over now anyway—except for at Midtown, I hear. Is that where you go?”

He nodded in answer, giving a small smile, even as his eyes turned and became glued to the books on the shelves. He scanned through the titles and asked absently, “What gave it away?”

“You’re looking for science books, Peter,” You said with a small giggle, “Isn’t Midtown a STEM school? I just assumed.”

“Y/N!” Jane called from the front of the shop, and you immediately perked up, your conversation interrupted.Peter sighed, even though he diligently kept the kind smile on his lips, “Well, I guess duty calls, huh?”

You nodded, pressing your lips into a taut smile, a bit disappointed as well, that you had to go now. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“You bet you will,” He said, giving a grin, “I’ll be sure to come whenever I can to get your expertise on science-y books for my smart-kid assignments.”

You almost choked on a laugh as you tried to swallow it, “Good luck with your assessment! And the science books!”

***

Peter kept true to his word.

That boy seemed to make it his mission to show up every day, and talk to you all about your recommendations and his science assignments. Not that you minded—it was kind of cute, what with how enthusiastic he got when he was rambling.

Today, though, Peter was late. School ended two hours ago, and still. No sign of him. Usually he would’ve been here almost at the same time as you, since he’d taken to doing all of his homework in the shop.

Despite how hard you tried to not let it distract you, you really couldn’t help the glances you kept throwing over your shoulder at the door, to check for any sign of him. To be honest, you weren’t quite sure why you anticipated his arrival so much, seeing as he probably had his own work to do, but still…You did your job fine; you made sure to put all of the new arrivals in alphabetical order and unbox all of the stock for the week, but even Jane noticed that you weren’t as focused as usual. And from the knowing gleam in her eyes, she knew exactly why you looked so much more worried and tense than usual.

“Y/N, are you waiting for that brown-haired boy?” She called out, her chin leaning on her palm and looking quite amused.

You fumbled with the stack of books you were holding and said, suddenly flustered, “No, no I’m not,” You denied, even though your words were broken by a nervous stutter.Internally, you swore in frustration at yourself because why were you suddenly so nervous? Jane hadn’t even said anything, really, but—

“Then why do you keep looking out the window? I know that the boy comes every time that you’re here. We all fall in love at some point,” Jane said, her tone turning into a teasing one.

Fall in love?

“Oh, I’m not in love with him—I’m just—I just,” You stammered feebly, “I just like looking at the window display.”

Jane hummed, finally turning her gaze away to return to clicking away at her computer, probably filing in orders. “Sure thing.” Even though her stare had shifted from you, her knowing smile hadn’t faded and you bit your lip in embarrassment before returning to sorting the books.

You weren’t in love with Peter, you barely even knew him! It wasn’t like that—

“Sorry I’m late!”

And yet at the first sound of his voice you stopped everything that you were doing and spun around so fast your hair gave you whiplash.

“Y/N!” He called, his hair mussed by the wind, eyes wide. He was holding his bag, seeming to still be stuffing something into the back pocket of it, and he seemed extremely puffed.

“Peter,” You said, furrowing your brows, “You didn’t have to rush. If you were busy you could’ve just sent me a text.”

As if by instinct he reached into his back pocket for his phone as you mentioned texting, and he pulled it out as he responded, “I’m sorry, something came up that I had to take care of. It’s all good now, though! What new books arrived this week?”

Even though internally, you were still concerned for his well-being, since he looked so genuinely out-of-breath, but the fact that he’d rushed over to talk to you today was kind of…touching. Cute.

You brushed those thoughts away, though, effectively stopping the blush you felt beginning to form on the apples of your cheeks, “We got lots of fiction this week, actually. There’s some sci-fi I think you would like. Is your assignment finished now?”

Peter rubbed his neck almost shyly, “Oh, yeah, it was due today, actually. Thanks for all your help, I think I did better than usual.”

“It’s nothing,” You replied, giving him a smile, quickly turning to finish sorting out the last couple books, and then leading him to the fiction section. He eagerly followed.

“Do you read fiction much?” You decided to ask him, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of you.

“Sometimes,” He said, “I get pretty busy, though, so I don’t usually have a lot of time to read. I wish I did.”

You approached the fiction shelves and ran your hand over the spines, searching for the new arrivals you wanted to recommend to him, “Here,” You pulled the first out, then the second.

“These are really good, I read them yesterday,” You told him, passing the two to him, and he flipped through them curiously, “They’re about the stuff you’re into. Like, science-y, smart superhero, space-battle type stuff.”

His eyes lit up as he scanned through, murmuring absently, “I love that stuff! I can kinda relate to them.”

That piqued your curiosity, and you couldn’t stop yourself from asking, “What do you mean?”“Huh?”“What do you mean you can relate?”

Suddenly, Peter bit his lip and ran a hand nervously through his hair, “Oh, what, I said that? Uh, I just mean I relate to the struggles of the superheroes, you know? It’s kind of…inspirational.”

You considered his words, “You’re right. We do have a lot of superheroes around here, don’t we?” You chuckled a bit to yourself, averting your eyes because his gaze had become far too intense and focused for you to maintain the eye-contact whilst keeping your heart rate at a healthy pace.

“What do you think of them?” He asked, tucking the two books under his arm, seeming satisfied with your selection, “The superheroes, I mean.”

“They’re cool,” You said with a shrug, “They do cool things and they’re important. I kind of wanna be one,” You laughed lightly, “They actually make a difference, you know? I kind of just hang around here and just…” You trailed off, unsure of where you were going, but Peter seemed to understand.

Your eyes were fixated on your feet now, and you shifted on your feet when he didn’t say anything.Then, suddenly, he poked your cheek gently, making you look up at him, and then he said, “You don’t need to be a superhero to make a difference, Y/N.” He leaned in a bit closer and tilted your chin up with two fingers.

Oh gosh oh he was so close now you could see every shade in his eyes—

You hoped he couldn’t hear your heartbeat, but you swore you noted his ears tinge with pink ever so slightly as well when he whispered, “You’re pretty amazing already, I can tell you that.”

“I—Peter, I—,”

“Right,” Suddenly extremely shy, he quickly pulled away. Okay, his face was definitely burning bright red now, you were sure of it, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—,”

“Peter,” You said softly, taking his hand gently in yours, “I wasn’t uncomfortable, I just…” You shook your head, “Never mind. But, thank you, Peter.”

“It’s just the truth,” He said, meeting your eyes with his own.

You weren’t sure what exactly gave you the confidence to do it, but with a light laugh you leant up on your toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you. You’re pretty amazing too, Peter.”He seemed to be at a loss for words. His cheeks were bright pink and his mouth opened and closed as he searched for the right thing to say. He looked so pretty.

“I-uh,” You bit your lip nervously—shyly, “Are you gonna get the books?”

That shook him out of his trance and he stammered, “Oh, yeah, I will, sorry—,”

“It’s okay,” You laughed, too giddy with the butterflies in your stomach to be nervous about what you’d just done anymore.

After he checked out, you said, “Call me and tell me what you think about those books, okay?”He left with a nod and a beaming smile, and Jane gave you that knowing look again.

“You just like looking at the window display, huh?” She said after the door shut behind him.You half-groaned, half-laughed as you shook your head and began heading back into the depths of the store to keep sorting the stock.

But you couldn’t help the grin of pure joy that formed on your lips the moment you were out of plain sight.

***

Tony didn’t usually pick Peter up, but today he’d been near the store anyway, so he offered to take him to the tower.The moment he got on the car, though, Tony noted his love-struck, dazed expression and said, “So, who’s the lucky person who’s snagged Peter Parker’s eye, huh?”He started up the car, which luckily pulled his gaze away from Peter, because the boy blushed furiously at Tony’s words.

“Uh, Mr. Stark, it’s nothing,” He said, shaking his head, “I just got some books that I like, that’s all—,” he pulled the two books he’d bought out of his bag, and Tony glanced at them.

“Since when did you read fiction?Peter fumbled for an excuse, “Uh, since today?”Tony scoffed in amusement, teasingly saying, “Must be some good books to have you looking so in love.”

Peter didn’t have any reply, or excuse, to respond with because he was really, really bad at lying and he knew that Tony already knew, anyway.“Yeah, they’re pretty amazing books,” He said instead.

Tony didn’t push any further, because it was just too cute.

He smiled fondly.

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kae-karo · 6 years ago

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Hi I used to be into the phandom so much but fell out in like??? 2017??? Maybe??? Has anything big happened at all? Has anyone died/caught on fire ( ;) )??

oh dear god where do i begin??? well fortunately both our lads are still alive. let me just start with saying 2018 has been like. probably the best year for dnp to date? i’ll try to go in some kind of order here but bear with me i’ll touch on a bit of 2017 stuff and then go into 2018 for ya

so first of all i’m not sure when you left the phandom in 2017 but the lads moved out of their previous flat in april of last year (x) (april-ish it was def before they posted the vid)

also our dear lil dani snot on fire is no longer not on fire (x) so uhh is he on fire now ig? i mean yeah that’s arguably true

*insert phil’s badaladala sound bc on the scale of Significant Things i don’t think anything else massive happened*

day one of demon month, we got this amazing vid from phil wherein viewers (aka dan) picked his outfits n he looked like a snacc and a half (would’ve been 2 snaccs if he’d embraced the quiff sooner but that’s getting ahead of things) (x)

!!!! then a week or so later dan posted his vid ‘daniel and depression’ where he opened up abt his struggle with depression (x) which was imo the start of him just being more open about himself in general. he also started working with young minds (a mental health org for young people in the uk) and shortly thereafter with prince william’s program to help prevent cyberbullying

then! on the day love was invented! dnp released their board game, truth bombs (x - yeah i linked the second vid and not the first, and wot) which u can buy if you’d like but it’s a lot of fun (x)

then these idiots did a conjoined jumper baking challenge and didn’t fucking wear shirts under the jumper like what dumb gays idk (x) but it was real funny and Good Content

then early nov dnp announced the interactive introverts tour (x) and then uhhh it happened (like 80+ shows??? in a ton of countries???) (x) and they’re releasing the filming of it along with some bonus content like a director’s commentary and u can preorder it (x)

also pinof 9 happened which as a legacy phan u know is always a Thing but this year it was especially a Thing so i recommend catching up (x, and the bloops - x)

and phew okay that’s the majority of 2017 Important Events but before i go on to 2018 i’ll just recap a few important events from dapg (basically just some gamingmas stuff):

wherein dan smacked phil in the face

and phil crushed the presents but dan helped him up

where phil pretended not to remember gamingmas was happening, leading to the most iconic simultaneous heart eyes howell/love eyes lester to date

dnp singing baby it’s cold outside together whilst playing yasuhati

iconic pinof 9 moment

dnp play charades but it’s phil’s turn, and he’s touchy

the not my arms challenge!!! playing mario kart

okay! and before anyone starts yelling i know there’s more but god if i put every iconic thing in this post would break there’s Too Much so let’s hop into 2018 bc it’s gonna be a long one

first i cannot believe dan fucking gave phil a philussy cake and phil’s parents asked phil what it meant jfc dan (x)

THE EARRING!!! dan’s first selfie with the lil hoop and it never leaves and we love it (x)

phil is just trying to take a selfie and dan ruins it (x) spoiler alert: phil gets him back in colorado (x)

okay big sigh two large events happen in march: the first, dan’s ‘trying to live my truth’ vid (x) it basically dan saying ‘i’m still figuring things out but i want to be more authentic and true to myself, and also authenticity is important for some people to feel happy in life’ vid that a lot of people hyperfixated on the end line of, where he said he would go ‘laugh at a joke with a chocolate bar and...something else in my mouth’ which people assumed meant a dick and therefore it was a subtle coming out vid, dan did a liveshow afterward (x) wherein he said that wasn’t the point of the vid and people got mad at him for ‘backtracking’ (if u want more of my Opinions on this feel free to check em out - x)

the second v v big event happened at the end of march when phil posted this iconic selfie that would be the downfall of the fringe (x) this has been titled the quiffening by some

shortly after that he began styling his hair in a quiff permanently which was probably the best decision he’s made since responding to one of his obsessed fans back in 2009

quick detour dan’s proud of his hubby (x) for winning fortnite and ‘fuxkung’ is now what ‘fucking’ autocorrects to in my phone

we also had dan releasing his merch (x) which is basically all black and themed around the eclipse logo and ‘don’t talk to me’, though he just released the exist line for world mental health day which has his quote ‘have the courage to exist’. he’s also mentioned possibly wanting to do more creative things like wide-necked or asymmetrical shirts dan just do a fashion line pls oh and he mentioned in a recent ls he might do an internet support group mug sometime soon

and then,,,,,pigeonfest. we watched. five hours. of phil livestreaming their patio. and literally nothing happened bc someone was like down on the street feeding pigeons so there weren’t even any pigeons for like 90% of the liveshow. but he literally didn’t talk it was just five hours of their patio and we all watched it. we all just watched it like the whipped phannies we are (x)

and then we got a brief but overwhelming dose of,,,,,,something from the easter baking vid (x) phil was hopped up on sugar and also confidence from his quiff and probably smth else as well

everything just blows up from there we have giving the people what they want (x) where, in preparation for ii (for which the underlying theme was ‘giving people what they want’), dnp reacted to pinof 1, swapped clothes, did the ‘yoga challenge’, recreated ditl manchester, ‘got a dog’, and made phil say fuck. honestly it shook the entire phandom to its core at the time but like. i’m less shooketh now? it’s sort of just fallen by the wayside in terms of how unpredictable dnp have been this year

then phil drops week in the life of dnp shortly thereafter which is just very very domestic even for them and their ditl style vids??? (x) phil filming dan in bed being one of the big demon highlights at the time

it’s right around this time too that insta stories start and my god it just goes jfc like i don’t even have the mental capacity to recall all the Iconic ones but i recommend checking out this playlist (x) which has all the ii tour stories goddamn there were a lot though they really put out that content didn’t they

in early may we get phil talking about why he changed his emo hair (x) and arguably the first official vid of the casual rebrand - phil’s more open and genuinely vulnerable about his fears about making a change to his hair, and i don’t think we’ve ever seen him that open before. the vids don’t stop being open though, with what dnp text each other (x) giving us coop and doop along with other iconic stories, dnp basically sitting on top of each other in that and other gaming vids on the tour bus, phil being very open abt his attraction to men (x) and the iconic final google feud vid with way too much of a specific kind of Energy (x) (ofc again there are More Vids but i don’t have the time/mental capacity to recap them all so i’m pickin the Big Ones)

monochrome mates (x)

phew okay so the tour in general as well - like if u don’t mind spoilers, i did a big ol analysis of what that was all about (x) but one of many many highlights is dan calling he and phil “best friends and soulmates”

finally finally finally after months of waiting we also get some phil merch! (x) plant and animal themed, and he even released a lion plushie which sold out like instantly and he claimed he’d do more of but we have yet to see that. he says he’s got more ideas for other merch as well

now okay fast forward to october after the tour’s over bc i think the insta stories and the analysis cover it but then. then. then we get the pizza mukbang (x) thirty three minutes of dnp being more open and honest and casual than literally they’ve ever been on camera maybe ever, and i’m including liveshows in this statement. no holds barred, authentic vulnerable dnp. a religious experience

end of october spooky week hits us and i think the key vid to call out here is the creepy mind of phil lester bc i think it was another open honest authentic vid (x) where they talked a lot, casual domestic w.e got some insight into phil’s mind it was v good

and then they carve pumpkins jfc which was an experience (x) there were a lot of innuendos but also one of the first years they didn’t do a halloween baking in a while (though they have hinted at possibly doing christmas baking) idk i’m fully overwhelmed at this point lmao like a Lot happened this year

phew okay and Then just yesterday philly dropped his vid on why he went to (the) hospital (x) idk soz that’s a british thing i think like we say ‘the’ anyway. which i’ve been talking abt quite a lot lately but it was another very open and honest vid in which he expressed a lot of vulnerability and fear and perceived flaws and it was just a quality like. open vid.

jfc okay hope that helps obviously there’s a lot i didn’t mention, but this should at least get you caught up on some of the big stuff!! and while i’m at it have a few more Important Gifs from this year

a very important moment of communication whilst on tour, deciding whether or not they’re okay with doing a ‘third wheel’ pose

dan flinging himself off the chair in anger whilst playing getting over it

nose boop from phil’s instagram explore pages vid

subsequent nose boop from the extreme tetris vid

and a cheek boop from the overcooked 2 vid

dan pulling phil’s hand off the mouse in fear during spooky week, swamp simulator (shrek slender)

touchy!dan during pizza mukbang

oh god. okay. again, this is not everything, just a big list of some big events over the past year-ish. i’m sure i’ve missed some important stuff but i think i covered most of it! hope this helps ya get caught up dear!

#dnp #so dan and phil in 2018 eh #what's that about #phan #dip and pip #kt #anon #ask

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imdolaneless · 6 years ago

Text

Platonish? Pt.2 (G.D.)

Summary: Y/N and the Dolan twins have been best their whole lives, they were basically attached at the hip, however Y/N’s friendship with Grayson has always been slightly different from her’s with Ethan, something that’s been stirring up problems in their relationships despite the fact their completely platonic or at least… platonish

A/N: here it is guys, I know it took me like 90000000 years to write this but it’s finally done, I struggled so much writing this for some reason idk why, but I worked really hard on it and even though I don’t love how it turned out I hope it doesn’t disapoint, (also heads up she’s a thiccy)

Warnings: you guys already already know I fucking swear

Word Count: 9136

MASTERLIST

Part 1 / Part 2

2 months. It had been 2 months, since the night Jenna cheated on Grayson. 2 months, since he came to me as a friend broken hearted and in need of comfort. 2 months, since I drove him out to my special spot to watch the stars. And most importantly, 2 months, since I realized I was in love with his dumbass. Something that I had somehow managed to keep a secret over the past 8 weeks. Needless to say it was 2 of the longest months of my life.

Since the breakup Gray and I had been spending a ridiculous amount of time together. Which to be honest is extremely confusing for me. On one hand, I love spending time with him, just being around him makes me feel lighter and happier. On the other, I am not about this whole cliché unrequited love bullshit that I'm dealing with, and the more time I spend with him the harder it makes it for me to move on.

I sighed, collapsing on my living room couch listening to the roaring of the storm outside. I watched as flashes of lightning illuminated the sky, allowing myself to get lost in the unique rythme of the downpour. But my thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of someone aggressively pounding on my door.

I reluctantly got up, and opened the door to reveal a very wet Grayson, fist clenched in mid knock.

"Took you long enough" He grumbled, pushing past me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked closing the door behind him.

"It's monday, we're supposed to watch the bachelorette" He shrugged, pushing his soaking wet hair out of his face.

"Where's Ethan?"

"He's facetiming Maddie and then he'll be right over..." He shivered, his teeth chattering.

"Look at you, you're soaked" I said gesturing, to the puddle that was slowly starting to form beneath his feet.

"Really?! I hadn't noticed!" He said sarcastically, his teeth chattering.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Just wait here smartass."

I left him standing in the front entrance, while I went to go make some hot chocolate. Once that was done, I grabbed a white fluffy towel from the nearest bathroom, before heading back . When I returned he was staring at his phone, brows adorably furrowed in concentration.

I gently placed the two mugs on the counter top before drawing his attention to me asking, "Who're you texting?"

"Eh, no one important" he shrugged with a small smile.

I found it a little weird that he was being so vague with his answer seeing as he was usually so open about everything, but I brushed it off. If it was important he'd tell me.

"Okay, well then catch." I said tossing him the towel.

"Thanks," He smiled wrapping himself up.

"No worries," I said passing him his cup.

He eyed it suspiciously, "What's this?"

"It's hot chocolate relax" I rolled my eyes.

He smiled gratefully, taking a sip.

Gray moaned in appreciation, "You're the best, what would I do without you?"

"Probably crash and burn" I teased, as he took another sip.

"Yeah you're probably right" he agreed, smiling dimples and all, and I swear it knocked the air straight out of my lungs.

My throat went dry, and I look down at the floor suddenly very focused on my feet, resenting the whirlwind of butterflies that had suddenly taken over my stomach.

"Do you want me to see if I have one of your hoodies somewhere that you could change into?" I offered, in a lame attempt to change the subject and ease some of the awkwardness I was feeling.

"Yeah that'd be ni- hold on, is that mine?" Grayson smirked, gesturing to the deep purple crew neck currently adoring my torso hanging till about my mid thigh.

I looked down, running my thumb over the tiny champions logo on the sleeve. "Huh, yeah it is I didn't even notice" I shrugged.

"I've been looking for that one everywhere, how long have you had it?" He asked, trying his best to look pissed, but failing miserably.

"I don't know a few months maybe? Since before you and Jenna broke up for sure" I replied.

"Well can I have it back?"

"What right now?" I asked taken aback.

"Yeah that'd be nice..."

"Are you serious?!"

Gray smirked, yanking his wet black tee shirt over his head revealing his toned abs, before extending his hand expectantly.

"Asshole." I scoffed, shaking my head. My heart was hammering against my ribcage as pulled off the sweater.

"Wait Y/N no I was just jok-" He trailed off, his eyes raking up and down my body. "...fuck"

Cheeks flushed, I dropped the bundle of fabric into his out stretched hand. "Here."

All the playfulness that was previously present, now gone replaced by tension. Grayson's beautiful hazel eyes darkened, mixed with what looked like lust and something else I couldn't quite place. I saw him glance down at my lips for a millisecond before taking a small step closer. He gently tucked a lose strand of my hair behind my ear, his hand caressing my cheek. I swear I felt my heart stop, he opened his mouth to say something but before he got the chance, my front door swung open with a dramatic crack of thunder revealing the third member of our trio, Ethan.

We immediately jumped away from each other, staring at Ethan like deer trapped in headlights.

"Okay what the fuck did I just walk into?! Why are you both half naked?!" Ethan exclaimed gesturing to Grayson and I.

l cleared my throat awkwardly, crossing my arms in an attempt to cover myself up.

"It's not what it looks like"Grayson mumbled blushing furiously.

"So you and Y/N weren't both shirtless in her front hall looking like you were about 5 seconds away from a pregnancy scare?" Ethan smirked raising an eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to argue, when I actually took in what Ethan was wearing, "Dude why the hell are you wearing a rain smock?" I giggled, he was enveloped in one of those yellow garbage bag like things that they give you at places like Niagara Falls, the hood covering his hair. Needless to say he looked ridiculous.

"Okay, first of all. It's a rain poncho not a rain smock, there's literally no such thing as a rain smock. Secondly, have you looked outside because if you have you might've noticed, it's actually raining! Sorry I'm not a freaking fish and I didn't want to get wet." Ethan huffed.

Grayson and I exchanged a look and burst out laughing.

"Bro you look ridiculous" Grayson chuckled.

"Kind of like an angstier version of Coraline" I agreed.

"Word, or like a walmart version of that sketchy sailor from spongebob."

"Okay enough," Ethan playfully glared at both of us, "I'm not the one who needs to explain my choice of outfit here, especially since I seem to be the only one actually wearing clothes" he scolded.

Ethan had an amused smile on his face, but I could tell he was starting to get fed up with our bullshit, the poor kid just wanted answers and rightfully so. However that didn't stop me from losing it every time I looked at him for too long, I think the fact he was still wearing a hood was too much for me.

"Y/N!!!!" Ethan whined.

"I'm sorry E but I just can't take you seriously with that thing on" I laughed.

"Okay enough about the poncho" He snapped, harshly yanking it off. "All I want to know is why you're wearing nothing but a bralette and adidas shorts while Gray's shirtless. I mean I know you guys have been hanging out a lot recently, so if you're togeth-"

"Relax dude, I was just wet from the storm because unlike you I didn't feel the need to wear a rain smock" Gray started cutting ethan off.

"Rain poncho but go on" "...and Y/N happened to be wearing one of my sweaters, and I jokingly asked for it back when she offered to get another one for me to change into, she took it seriously and here we are. It's not that deep" Grayson finished explaining.

Ethan looked at me for confirmation before saying, "Are you sure that's it because, when I walked in things seemed kind of... intense"

"Between me and Y/N?" Grayson raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah man I don't know, on my life it looked like you were about to kiss or something" Ethan shrugged.

Grayson laughed at this, "Us? Come on you know that would never happen in a million years, we're completely platonic"

Well that hurt.

"Yeah exactly, we're just friends" I agreed weakly, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in my chest.

"See?"

"Uh huh..." Ethan mumbled his eyes focused on me, like he was searching for questions or something that only I could answer.

"Okay well I'm going to grab a shirt then I guess we can start the bachelorette..." I said, I was starting to feel exposed under Ethan's gaze and not because my current lack of clothing.

____________

15 minutes later we were all squished on the living room couch, watching yet another group of guys argue about 'who was really there for Becca'.

I was sitting in between the two boys, Ethan as always was getting really absorbed in the show. However Grayson seemed distracted. He was checking his phone every 5 seconds, and it was constantly buzzing. I tried to ignore it, telling myself it didn't matter what Grayson and that I couldn't care less about who was blowing up his phone. But as the episode progressed it got harder and harder for me to block it out. I made it till the rose ceremony, Becca was just about to give out the final rose when Grayson's phone buzzed for about the 100000000th time this evening.

"K bro seriously who are you texting?" Ethan asked his tone laced with annoyance.

"I'm not texting anyone" Grayson lied.

"Bullshit, your phones been going off nonstop this whole time. Which is weird because the only two people you text religiously are right here" Ethan scoffed.

Grayson opened his mouth to protest, but Ethan raised his hand to stop him, and continued to say, "So if you're not texting me, and you're not texting Y/N, who the hell is so important that they have you practically glued to your phone, because I think we both know damn well it's not mom or Cameron."

Grayson looked down, an embarrassed smile graced his features, "Her names Nicole..." he blushed. "We've been talking for awhile and I don't know..."

My heart started beating faster as I was filled with dread.

"Well are you into her?" Ethan asked.

"Honestly? Yeah I kind of am..." He smiled, his cheeks still tinged pink.

My face fell, and it felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. I listened in absolute horror to Ethan teasing Grayson as he continued to gush about this girl. I tried my best to mask my emotions, but the amount of hurt I was feeling was making it incredibly hard.

"Are you going to ask her out?" Ethan asked with a small smile.

"I don't know dude we'll see, I'm supposed to meet up with her later tonight so hopefully that goes well" Grayson grinned, pushing his floppy brown hair out of his face.

"Well good luck bro, I'm happy for you" Ethan chuckled.

"Thanks," Grayson said checking his phone for the time, "I've got to get going though, I'm supposed to pick her up in 20 and I want to change first, I'll see you guys later" He got up, his eyes still glued to his phone.

"Bye Gray" I said softly.

"See you at home" Ethan said, but he looking at me with that same intense stare from earlier, like he was trying to figure something out.

Ethan stayed silent, waiting until Grayson was gone, before saying "You okay? You look a little sick..."

"Yeah I'm fine, just tired" I said lamely, avoiding eye contact.

"You're a terrible liar Y/N" he clicked his tongue.

"I don't know what your talking about" I sighed.

"Oh really? So you expect me to believe you went from being more or less fine, to looking like someone just told you you're whole family had been murdered and you're the prime suspect, in the matter of 30 seconds because you're 'tired'" He said raising his eyebrows skeptically.

"Framed for the murder of my family? That's a new one, most people would just go with the classic 'just saw a ghost' expression. Props for creativity E" I said avoiding the subject, starting to tidy up the mess the boys and I had made.

"Cut the crap Y/N you've been off all night what's wrong?"

I grabbed mine and Grayson's hot chocolate mugs, heading to the kitchen "Nothing's wrong like I said I'm just tired"

Ethan's footsteps followed close behind me, as I placed the empty cups in the sink.

"Why won't you just tell me the truth?" he asked, pushing himself up to sit on the counter.

I just ignored him, turning on the sink filling it with hot soapy water as I started to do the dishes.

"Does it have something to do with Grayson? Did he do something?"

I could feel my heart rate speed up, as I focused all my attention on scrubbing the plate in my hand. "Don't be ridiculous..."

"Okay so it is about Grayson..."

"No" I lied.

"Why can't you just tell me it's not like you're in love with him or anything"

I froze, my heart pounding.

"Oh my god..." He said realization taking over his features. "You are aren't you? You're in love with Grayson!"

I dropped the plate in the sink, soap and water flying everywhere, "What?!" I squeaked, my voice cracking.

"Holy shit you are!" He hopped down.

"Shut up I am not! " I argued taking a step back trying to distance myself from him.

"Y/N..."

"Ethan seriously i'm not in love with your stupid brother" I lied, turning away from him to wipe up the spilt water.

Ethan grabbed a towel and started helping me, "Deny it all you want, but like I said, you're a terrible liar and you're not fooling anyone"

I sighed in defeat, looking up to meet his gaze "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, grow a pair and tell him?" Ethan suggested.

I laughed humourlessly "Yeah okay, and when he inevitably rejects me therefore ruining our friendship for all of eternity then what?"

"Wow, and I'm the extra one."

I glared at him.

"What makes you so sure he's going to reject you?"

"Come on Ethan I'm not naive, I know damn well he doesn't feel the same way. In his eyes we're as platonic as it gets"

He scoffed, "Okay what is with you two and that word? Both of you continuously use it as if you say it enough it'll somehow become true. Though you guys may not have realized it, you guys are not, never have been, never will be, 'platonic'. Platonish, maybe but don't kid yourself. There's always been something more than friendship there and you're blind if you think it's one sided"

"I'm not telling him, and neither are you" I said stubbornly.

"You're making a mistake" he sighed.

"Yeah well what else is new."

Ethan and I finished cleaning up in silence. I could tell he was disappointed with my decision but I honestly didn't care it was for the best.

_______________

It was pretty late by the time Ethan left, so I was already in bed when Grayson texted me.

Gray :): hey, u up?

I stared at the three words displayed across my screen, getting more and more frustrated with both Grayson and myself. Why does he think he can just text whenever he feels like it and I'll automatically be there? The days of me dropping everything for Grayson are over. It's 3 a.m. whatever he wants can wait till the morning, which is when your average friend would be up. I slammed my phone down onto my bedside table with a new found resolve, I would not be a love struck puppy anymore and I would treat him like I would any other friend. Of course all this lasted for all of about 5 seconds, before I caved.

Y/N: yeah, what's up?

Gray :) : come outside.

I sighed, pushing off my covers, grabbing a hoodie from my closet before making my way downstairs as quietly as possible, as to not wake up the rest of my family. I opened the front door to find Grayson perched on my porch steps.

"What are you doing here" I asked, sitting next to him. The storm had left a chill in the air, making me shiver as I pulled my hoodie tighter around me.

"Couldn't sleep." He shrugged, turning to face me.

"How'd your date go?" I asked trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"It went." He said, his beautiful hazel eyes clouded with something I couldn't recognize.

"Was it really that bad?"

He shrugged, "No it was fine it's just... I don't know..."

"Oh. Well are you going to go out with her again?"

"Not sure, what do you think I should do?" He asked, he looked conflicted and I could practically see the internal battle he was having with himself, though I couldn't figure out what had him so confused.

"Well I think you should do whatever makes you happiest, and you seem to really like her so why not give that relationship a chance."

"Really?"

Yeah no, I think you should tell Nicole to fuck right off and date me instead because i'm hopelessly in love with you and honestly i'm shocked you can't see it.

"Yeah really, if you think she's good for you and she'll make you happy then I'm all for it." Lies.

"Hmm okay, thanks" He said standing up.

"What is that it?"

"Yeah it's getting late I'll see you tomorrow" He shrugged.

"Hold on did you seriously drag my ass outside in the middle of the night, just to ask my opinion on a girl i've never met?" I asked dumbfounded, as he started to walk away.

He stopped and turned back to face me one last time, "I'll see you tomorrow Y/N" he smirked.

"Wow I hate you."

"You love me."

Little do you know Grayson, little do you know.

____________

I stayed up almost all night, my mind racing with different scenarios and a million what if's, all of which involved Grayson. Shocking, I know. Everything with Nicole was messing me up more than I thought it would, and they'd only been on one date. I can't even imagine how bad I'll be if they end up getting into a serious relationship.

I wanted so desperately to be okay with this to be able to move on, and I honestly thought I could do it. I believed I could watch him start a relationship, and fall in love with someone else and I'd be fine. Unfortunately, the more I actually pictured it the more unbearable ththought became. Which after many hours of thought lead me to the terrifying conclusion that Ethan might actually be right. Unless I want to remain trapped in a purgatory of pining and pain, I'm gonna have to do the one thing I planned to avoid at all costs. I have to tell Grayson I'm in love with him.

I had plans to hang out with the twins and Maddie in the evening, but I decided to come earlier in the day so I could hopefully catch Grayson alone making it so there were less opportunities to chicken out. I stood in front of the familiar front door trying to build up the courage to knock, which is stupid if you think about it because nine times out of ten I'd just barge in. Today was different. Today for probably the first time in my life, standing on my best friends doorstep I was nervous. Forget about butterflies it felt like every living creature had gotten together to throw a rager in my stomach. I anxiously fidgeted with my hair tie that I always kept around my left wrist. I had probably been standing here for a solid 5 minutes now and it was definitely starting to look suspicious.

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. I could do this, rule number 1, don't be a bitch. So before I could overthink myself out of it, I lifted my fist and knocked on the door.

Not even a full ten seconds later I was greeted by Ethan, "Oh shit, hey Y/N what're you doing here?" he asked awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"I need to talk to Grayson." I replied avoiding eye contact.

"Cool, about what?" He said, glancing behind him still blocking the door frame.

"Well after some thought, I decided you were right..."

"Right about...?" He mumbled, clearly distracted by something or someone else.

"What do you think Ethan?" I asked sarcastically, his strange behaviour starting to put me even more on edge then I was before.

"Oh my god you're gonna tell him how you feel..." He said, shock and realization taking over his features.

"If you ever let me in your house" I halfheartedly teased about the fact his body was still blocking the entrance.

"No, no yeah totally, or we could grab breakfast or something first. Talk everything through, you know make sure you're ready?" He suggested.

"Honestly Eth I'm kind of scared shitless right now, and I just want to get it over with. After though I doubt I'll want to stick around so we can grab Maddie and go?" I said making a move for the door.

"Yeah okay I'll text her." He said pausing to get out his phone, "Or actually you know what would be even better? If we went now, yeah now that I think about it let's just go now"

At this point, I was starting to get annoyed I mean just yesterday he was practically begging me to tell Grayson I was in love with him. Now when I finally decided I was ready to do it was like he was doing everything in his power to stop me.

"What is up with you today? You're acting weirder than the time after Gray and I accidentally walked in on you and Maddie"

His cheeks turned pink at the memory, "I'm just hungry Y/N is that a crime?"

"Then grab your girlfriend and go get food and if you want I'll meet up with you guys later, now if you could just excuse me" I said rolling my eyes, before ducking underneath his arm and pushing my way into the house.

I started walking towards the living room, but before I could take two steps, Ethan was in front of me.

"Seriously E?!" I huffed, this was getting ridiculous.

"He's not even home right now" He tried, but I could tell he was lying through his teeth.

"Oh yeah," I said narrowing my eyes suspiciously, "where is he then?"

"Uhhh," he started his eyes fleeting to the living room for a millisecond before returning to meet my gaze, "he went for a run?"

"Uh huh, yeah okay well I'll just wait for him in the living room then" I said pushing past him yet again.

Ethan caught my wrist is his hand causing me turn around to face him, "Y/N please, let's just go you can tell him later" he said his eyes pleading with me.

I stared at him for a few seconds, before indignantly yanking my hand out of his grip and strutting into the living room.

"No Y/N wait, don't-" Ethan tried to warn me, but it was too late.

I stood frozen in horror taking in the scene before me. I don't think I've ever regretted anything more than I regret ignoring Ethan just now. Because there sitting on the sectional, was Grayson but he wasn't alone. Oh no, he was currently being straddled by someone who I could only assume was Nicole, in the middle of a very heated make out session.

They pulled apart almost immediately once they realized I was there. Nicole looked confused and startled, while Grayson looked shocked.

"Y/N" He breathed gently pushing Nicole off of his his face consumed by guilt.

I felt like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. It was like I was trapped underwater, everything happening in front of me distorted. I could see Grayson's lips moving but everything coming out of his mouth sounded muffled, same with Nicole. It felt like I was drowning.

I guess they noticed something was up, because Grayson was now saying something directly to me.

Yet still my brain couldn't process it. It wasn't until I felt Ethan's hand on my shoulder that I finally snapped myself out of it.

"Y/N did you hear me? I asked if you were okay" Grayson said, his eyes searching mine for any indication as to why I was acting like this.

Slowly I looked down at Ethan's hand, then back up at the twins. Both sets of matching hazel eyes focused on me, Ethan's gaze sympathetic, Grayson's filled with guilt and concern.

I realized they were waiting for me to say something, so I cleared my throat before forcing a smile and saying "Peachy, sorry I interrupted your date" I forced a laugh, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. "And you must be the infamous Nicole" I continued turning my attention to the stunning brown eyed girl who was nervously playing with the ends of her thick dark curls, looking incredibly confused.

"Yeah, and you're the best friend right?" she asked politely.

"Yeah, Y/N, nice to finally meet you" I smiled, pushing away the overwhelming urge to cry.

"You too, and wow sorry if this is a weird thing to say but you're so pretty, and I love your outfit" she smiled genuinely.

"Thanks so much I love your dress, it's like yellow was made for you" I complimented, my heart aching.

Of course she was nice, god forbid she's gorgeous and a bitch.

Her kindness however was only making things worse for me, I needed to get out of here, before I have a complete breakdown. "Well, I came to see if Grayson wanted to hangout but clearly you guys are busy so I'm gonna go but it was nice meeting you Nicole" I said my voice cracking, and I quickly turned to leave practically sprinting out of there.

"Y/N wait!" Grayson called after me but I was already halfway out the door.

"Bye guys" I yelled before slamming the door behind me, I could already feel the tears starting to fall.

I heard the twins loudly arguing about something is the distance, then Ethan burst out the door.

"Y/N-" Ethan started to call after me, but I was already halfway across the street and there was no way in hell I was turning back.

I ran into my house and up to my room slamming my door closed, before I collapsed on the floor in a fit of sobs.

For hours, I sat there unmoving, crying hysterically, letting out all my sadness anger and frustration. So far this was hurting me more than any break up I'd ever endured. I felt weak, completely helpless and the fact that Grayson had that much power over me, terrified me more than anything else.

I angrily wiped away my tears, yanking my phone out of my pocket. I quickly scrolled through my contacts to the all to familiar name whose number I'd left unused for months. I opened a new conversation, typing a quick message before shakily hitting send.

Grayson's P.O.V "Fuck." I cursed, while I watched the tiny orange ball bounce off the side of the plastic rim as I missed yet another fucking shot.

I'd been shooting on the mini-hoop I had attached to the back of my door for a solid 45 minutes and I'd only managed to sink 3. I grabbed the ball that had rolled next to my bed, lining up for another shot, which of course didn't go in.

I groaned in frustration, chucking the stupid toy at my wall. Ever since Y/N walked in on Nicole and I earlier I hadn't been able to focus on anything but the absolute emptiness in her expression when she looked at me. To almost anyone else she would've looked fine, happy even. She had joked around after her initial shock, smiling, while making polite small talk with Nicole, but her smile didn't reach her eyes.

When she ran out I wanted nothing more than to chase after her the only thing stopping me was Ethan. I fought back at first, my anger and annoyance getting the best of me, because I just couldn't understand why he wouldn't let me go after her. I eventually gave in when he reminded me that Nicole was still here and it'd be a real dick move to just leave her here alone. So I'd gone back to the girl I should've been thinking about instead of going after the one I couldn't get out of my head. Not that that helped anything because Nicole had left shortly after, telling me that we'd be better off as friends because it was clear I had a lot of shit I needed to figure out. Whatever the hell that means. Not that I was that torn up about it anyway, she was nice and all but I couldn't help feel like something was missing.

I sighed, running my hands through my hair messing it up yet again. I rolled off my bed walking over to my window which happened to be aligned with Y/N's. I looked out at her house half expecting to see her curled up watching something on Netflix, her hair pulled back in a messy bun with her adorable glasses that I know she hates. But her room was dark. I checked the time on my phone, 11:45.

Weird she never goes to bed this early, it takes her forever to fall asleep.

I went to go text her, check in make sure everything's alright, when I noticed a car pull into her driveway out of the corner of my eye. A few seconds later I saw her jog out, wearing one of Ethan's hoodies. I don't know why but that rubbed me the wrong way as it always did when I saw her wearing something of his. My irritation only grew when I watched a guy get out of the car and give her a huge hug.

Who the fuck could she possibly be going out with?

I glared at them my jaw clenched as I watched them walk around the car him opening the door for her. It was only when I caught a glimpse of his stupid smug face and wild brown curls that I realized who it was. Her fucking ex. The dumbass that broke her heart because of his own insecurities. One of the only people it this world I absolutely loathed. Y/N was hanging out with Mitchell.

An unjustifiable overwhelming wave of rage flowed through me as I watched them drive off together. I stormed out of my room practically slamming the door behind me, and stalked across the hall angrily pounding on Ethan's door.

"Gray what the fu-" Ethan started to say, wearing only a pair of adidas sweats, his hair a mess.

"You will not believe what I just saw" I cut him off pushing past him into his room, where a stunned Maddie wearing nothing but one of Ethan's tee shirt, was laying on his bed. "Hey Madds"

"Hey Gray" she waved awkwardly, I could tell she was still surprised by me barging in.

"No offence Grayson but I don't give a shit about some dumb squirrels fighting over an acorn again, now get out." Ethan said unable to keep the irritation out of his tone.

"Okay first of all they were not just 'fighting' over an acorn they were full on dueling with sticks and all and it was fucking sick. Secondly that's not why I'm here. I just saw Y/N getting into a car with Mitchell" I said scowling, the thought filling me with a whole new surge of anger.

Ethan raised his eyebrows in surprise, before quickly covering it up with disinterest. "So what why do you care?"

"I care because she's my best friend and I don't want that asshole to hurt her again."

Ethan rolled his eyes, "I honestly don't know why you hate Mitchell so much, he's a pretty nice guy yet you act like he's the devil reincarnated."

I stared at him in shock, he couldn't possibly be serious, "I mean he's the world's biggest tool, who never deserved Y/N and broke her heart for no reason but other than that yeah he's a real stand up guy!"

Ethan and Maddie exchanged a look, before Ethan said with a smirk, "Sounds like you're a little jealous there bud"

"Me? Jealous? Please!" I scoffed, "I just think Y/N deserves someone who will actually treat her right for once, because she's one of the most amazing girls I know and I don't understand why she wastes her time with shrimp dick."

Now Maddie and Ethan were both staring at me with shit eating grins, "You're so right he he's insanely jealous right now!" Maddie smirked.

"Oh fuck off Madeline I am not" I glared my cheeks heating up.

Maddie just laughed, "Awh look at him he's blushing!" she teased, of course making me blush more. "Does Grayson Dolan have a little crush on Y/N?"

Ethan lost it, he was laughing so hard he started wheezing.

"You guys suck." I said frustratedly getting up. If I wasn't blushing before I sure as hell was now, and I could feel my heart rate skyrocket.

"No Gray wait don't go, we're sorry!" Ethan said clearly trying to hold back his laughter.

"I hate you."

"Come on bro don't be like that, this is clearly bugging you so let's talk about it" Ethan pleaded.

I contemplated his offer for a second, before ultimately reclaiming my spot on his bed. As much as I didn't want to admit it I know talking about it with him would help me clear my head.

"I just don't know what she sees in him, she's a million times better than he'll ever be" I sighed, "Maybe I should go find them..."

"Wait? What?!" Ethan asked startled.

"Yeah I could check snap map or something, and go make sure she's okay..."

"Dude absolutely not. You're not going to crash her date" Ethan said looking at me like I was absolutely insane.

"But-" I started.

"No Grayson, I'm not going to let you stalk our best friend." Ethan cut me off.

I opened my mouth to protest, but Ethan stopped me before I could say anything.

"No Gray. Think about how crazy you sound right now! You're acting lowkey psycho, just wait until she gets back to talk to her later like a normal person" He scolded.

Ethan was right. I was being ridiculous. Like some sort of crazy overprotective boyfriend and we aren't even together! I don't know what got into me, I was not, never had been, never will be that guy. There was just so many things going through my brain that'd I'd gotten a little riled up.

I looked at him guiltily, "You're right, I don't know what's up with me today, sorry dude"

"You don't need to apologize, just chill." He said sympathetically.

I nodded, standing up walking towards the door. "Thanks guys," I said, pausing before adding, "Oh and since I know the second I leave you guys are gonna finish what I clearly interrupted earlier, Maddie try and be quieter our parents are sleeping and you wouldn't want to wake them up, that'd be a nightmare for you two to explain"

Now it was their turn to blush, Maddie looked embarrassed while Ethan looked pissed, "Oh my god shut the fuck up assface" Ethan glared chucking a pillow at me.

I narrowly dodged it chuckling "Use protection!" I called, bolting to my room before Ethan had the chance to throw something harder than a pillow.

I scrolled through my snap memories while I waited for Y/N to get back. Most of them were of Ethan doing something stupid, but a few were of Y/N. I clicked on a video she'd taken a while back while we were driving around one night listening to music, when out of nowhere Lay all your love on me from the Mama Mia soundtrack came on. She'd been obsessed with that musical when we were kids, making us watch the movie over and over again until Ethan and I staged an intervention. I had whined and complained asking her to change it but she just turned it up and sang at the top of her lungs. In the video she was singing the chorus as loud and as off key as she could, making faces and zooming in and out while I watched her from the drivers seat with an amused smirk. I remeber I'd tried to act annoyed but she was to damn cute I couldn't keep a straight face. When the video ended I had a stupid smile on, remembering how shortly after that video was taken she'd managed to convince me to join in on the duet which ended with us both laughing our asses off. It had been a good day.

I scrolled down to the next snap with Y/N. It was another video except this time I had taken it. This one was more recent, it was from one of our movie nights a few weeks ago and I'd forced her to watch IT for the first time even though she's terrified of clowns. In the video she was snuggled into me, with her fuzzy blanket almost covering her eyes. We'd been eating popcorn and the bowl was resting on her lap. It was at the part of the movie where pennywise jumps out of the old film projector the kids where looking at. Obviously that scared Y/N shitless and she'd jumped sending the popcorn flying everywhere, screaming and cursing under her breath, while I was pissing myself laughing and teasing her in the background. I had ended up sleeping over that night and I remember waking up with Y/N in my arms, even though when we went to sleep we were on opposite ends of the bed, feeling nothing but pure happiness.

I continued to look through the old snaps and the more I looked the more they're actually were of Y/N. Videos of her attempting to learn fortnight or singing and dancing obnoxiously around the room. Random ones of her playing with my hair or flipping me off. Pictures of her with food all over her face, or passed out on my shoulder during long car rides with Ethan. Some selfies we took after she got me to do face masks with her. So many pictures from when we go out for food weather it's fast food in the car or a legitimate meal at a restaurant. All of them bringing back fond memories like the time we went cliff jumping or when we took her to get her first tattoo.

However, the one picture that made me stop everything I was doing to stare at it, was one taken only about a week and a half ago. We'd gone to the beach earlier in the day, and her, Maddie, Ethan and I had all gone back to our house for a bonfire. She had on one of my hoodies, shocking, (I swear this girl never wears her own clothes) and I'd pulled her on to my lap so I wouldn't have to go get her a chair. In the photo she was laughing at something someone had said, her eyes lit up with happiness, the light from the fire making her look like she was glowing from the inside out. What made me uneasy about it was how I was looking at her, I was starting at her with the biggest smile, like she was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen or some shit. Ethan must've taken the picture without me noticing because I don't think I'd ever seen it before. An overwhelming feeling of adoration and longing surged through me, we looked like a couple.

I put my phone down next to me, Maddie's words replayed in my head. Did I like Y/N? I mean we'd been friends for so long I didn't think it was possible to be or to want to be anything else. She was beautiful there was no denying that, not so much in an in your face super model kind of way, no her beauty was more natural, unfiltered and as cliché as it sounds she took my breath away. The more I think about it, the more I realize the butterflies I'm always ignoring when I'm around her and yesterday at her house, I had wanted to kiss her. The only reason I didn't was because Ethan walked in. But that didn't mean anything right? I had just gotten caught up in the moment. I couldn't like Y/N. I looked back down at the picture of us the warm feeling in my stomach spreading to the rest of my body, causing panic.

I hurried back to Ethan's room, not even bothering to knock this time. Him and Maddie were in a heated make out session but thankfully they were still clothed. Or at least mostly clothed.

"Seriously Grayson?! It's like your trying to have a repeat of last month! Get the fuck out!" Ethan screamed, after him and Maddie pulled apart.

"Why'd you take this picture" I ignored him shoving my phone in his face.

He grumpily snatched the phone from my hand to get a better look, "I don't know dude you both look happy, it's a good angle, the fire adds a nice aesthetic," he shrugged handing it back to me, "Can you leave now? We were kind of busy..."

"We look like a fucking couple Ethan" I exclaimed, sitting down on his bed.

Ethan groaned in frustration, "Yeah? So what?"

"So what?! I'm freaking out! I can't have feelings for her, she's Y/N!"

"It's just a picture Gray it's not a big deal" Ethan sighed. "Besides so what if you do like her? I think you guys would be good together."

"Bro, do you have any idea what a gross cliché that'd be?! I don't like her like that. I can't." I said, but I sounded unsure. At this point it was more like I was trying to convince myself rather than Ethan.

"You're being so dramatic right now" Ethan sighed, putting his head in his hands, "You've literally got yourself worked up over one stupid picture where you guys look like your a little more than friends. I mean you said it yourself, you don't like her like that, so why are you still here? What's the problem"

"It looks like I'm in love with her Ethan! It's not supposed to look like you're in love with your best friend!" I frustratedly ran my hands through my hair.

Maddie whom I'd completely forgotten was there, looked from me to Ethan with a small smirk, "E should we tell him or do you think that'd make things worse?"

"Tell me what?"

"Nothing it's not a big deal, it's just that you always look at her like that, you have since we were 12" He shrugged. "It's worse when you talk about her though because then you get this really stupid expression on your face kind of like you just got really good head or something"

I felt my cheeks heat up, "I do not!" I weakly argued.

Maddie laughed slightly, "I don't agree with my idiot boyfriends analogy, but yeah you totally do. It's like someone will just mention her name and you get this big dopey smile on your face it's hilarious"

I looked at my brother and his girlfriend looking for any signs they were messing with but I found none.

"What does that mean?" I said quietly, my heart pounding, terrified of what it could be.

Ethan's expression softened, his earlier frustration had almost completely vanished, replaced with a knowing smile as he and Maddie exchanged a look.

"I think you know damn well what it means Grayson I just think you're too much of a fucking pussy to admit it to yourself."

I thought about everything, the butterflies, constantly finding some excuse to touch her or be near her because of the almost electric feeling that came with it. How her smile lit up a room, how I was always so fascinated in how her eyes would change depending on her emotion and what she was wearing. How I knew basically everything about her yet she never failed to amaze me. Ethan was right I knew what it meant, and I swear that realization made my heart drop to my ass. Your P.O.V I had texted Mitchell earlier with the poorly thought out intention to try and get back together. That being said I was fully expecting him to ignore me. Our breakup wasn't the messiest but it hadn't been all sunshine and roses either. What I didn't expect was, him to not only text back but to invite me to hangout as well.

He'd picked me up, greeting me with a hug and a smile and we drove around for a few hours. We talked through everything he apologized for how he ended things, and I apologized for being too blind to realize my own feelings. He told me about his new girlfriend, his eyes lighting up as he talked about her and I found myself being genuinely happy for him. I ended up cracking and filling him in on my whole dilemma which he was very sympathetic to. In the end we decided we'd stay friends and I was happy.

"Well thanks for everything Mitchell I really needed this." I said as we pulled into my driveway.

"Of course, and hey let me know if you want me to set you up with my friend Anthony" he said.

"I might have to take you up on that" I laughed, getting out of the car.

We said our goodbyes and I watched him drive away. When I looked back I finally noticed the floppy haired, hazel eyed boy who'd been causing me so much heartache recently standing at the end of his driveway.

"Grayson what are you doing out here?" I asked, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

"I came to drop this off," he said lifting up his purple champions sweater I'd returned to him the day before.

"You came to give me your sweater?" I asked confusion taking over my features.

I guess the question caught him off guard because he started stuttering, "Y-yes I mean, N-no, I mean y-you like it so m-much I-"

"Why are you really here Grayson?" I sighed.

He walked closer to me, "I wanted to talk." he said quietly "I see your hanging out with Mitchell again"

I swear I saw a spark of jealousy ignite in his eyes.

"Yeah? So what?" I said indignantly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"So? He hurt you! Why would you want to be around him!" He said, I could tell he was frustrated.

You hurt me! More than he ever did and looky here i'm still putting up with your bitch ass. "That's in the past Gray, things are different now" I rolled my eyes.

"How Y/N? Please enlighten me." He scoffed.

"We're friends."

"Yeah until you 'accidentally' wake up in his bed"

"Do you really think that lowly of me? We've been best friends our whole lives I thought you knew me better than that..." I said, the overwhelming feelings of hurt and disbelief consuming me.

"No Y/N you know that's not what I meant, I just don't trust him with you." Grayson tried to explain.

"You don't trust him with me? What the fuck does that even mean?!" I said, I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me, this was getting ridiculous, "You don't get to judge who I hangout with or what I do with my life. I'm a big girl I can make my own decisions."

"So what are you going to do, fuck around with him until he gets tired of you and breaks your heart again?" Grayson glared, his jaw clenched in anger.

"Wow, okay. Fuck you Grayson." I spat, I could feel the tears threatening to spill, which only added to my frustration, I was tired of crying. I took a few steps backwards trying to create distance between us.

His expression immediately softened, his eyes filled with guilt and regret "I am so sorry Y/N I didn't mean-"

"No fuck you." I cut him off. "You're acting like a jealous dick and for what?! Because I was hanging out with another guy?! That's bullshit Grayson! You were literally making out with Nicole this morning! You're not my boyfriend, you always make that perfectly clear to anyone who asks, so why the hell do you care so much if I end up fucking Mitchell or not? It's not like I haven't done it before, we dated for like 6 months..."

"Because it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about you with him, his hands on your body... I just... I don't want to fucking picture okay?! I've hated all of your past boyfriends and until today I had no fucking clue why, because I mean we're just friends right?" Grayson ranted, laughing humourlessly.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Gray continued before I got the chance.

"Except, I can't stop thinking about you, and when I'm with you I swear my hearts about to beat out of my chest or some shit, but still I tried to convince myself we're just friends. I threw myself into half assed relationships to avoid what I was really feeling because the second I admitted to myself it made it real. But today I was looking through some old videos and pictures of us and I realized, as cheesy as it sounds, I'm the happiest when I'm with you. You're funny and kind, and you're strong, and you're really fucking pretty. It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing I always want to be with you, and I can't keep ignoring it forever. So I'm sorry I was an asshole, and I'm sorry if this ruins the friendship but Y/N I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you it scares me because I have no idea what'd I do without you in my life, I honestly don't think I could handle it."

I stood frozen in shock, letting his confession sink in. There was less than a foot of space between us, his hazel eyes filled with so much emotion, I found it hard to breathe.

I guess I was taking to long to react, because Grayson's somewhat hopeful expression started to falter.

"Y/N, please say something..." He said softly, his eyes searching mine for some kind of indication on how I was feeling.

The vulnerability, in his voice was enough to bring me back to reality. Now our faces were less than six inches apart.

I broke out into a huge smile, "Wow Dolan, I always knew you were obsessed with me, but I have to say, that was unexpected"

He groaned, placing on of his hands over his heart, "Oh my god you're the worst. I pour my heart out to you and that's your response? I hat-"

I cut him off by gently placing my lips on his kissing him slowly. He didn't react at first, apparently too caught off guard to move. I started to pull away, but Grayson stopped me. I guess at that point he'd finally processed what was happening because he wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer and deepening the the kiss. His soft lips moving perfectly in sync with mine I smiled, my whole body felt like it was on fire, but at the same time I had shivers running up and down my spine.

After what felt like an eternity, yet still not enough time we broke apart breathless.

"I love you too." I said softly my voice barely above a whisper.

His whole face lit up with the most breathtaking smile, that made my stomach explode with butterflies, as he leaned in to kiss me again.

"Even though you're an asshole sometimes" I teased, biting my bottom lip.

"Me?! You're one to talk! I told you I loved you and you response was 'I knew you were obsessed with me.' Who does that? You almost gave me a heart attack!" he said indignantly, pulling back slightly.

I laughed "Sorry Gray, but in my defence you caught me completely off guard."

He playfully rolled his eyes, closing the distance between us and kissing me softly.

"I love you, even though you're a little shit sometimes" He said giving me another quick peck. "Be mine?"

I smiled kissing him again.

"Is that a yes?" He grinned.

"Yes." I rolled my eyes, unable to keep the smile off my face.

Still smiling, Grayson started to lean in, but before our lips could touch, we were interrupted.

"FUCK YEAH CAM OWES ME 50$ HAH!"

We turned to see Ethan and Maddie standing in the doorway of the Dolan house, with messy hair and minimal clothing.

"Ethan shut up can't you see they're having a moment?!" Maddie said smacking him lightly upside the head. "SORRY GUYS CARRY ON"

Grayson shook his head slightly, cheeks flushed, closing the gap between us. I kissed him back intensely, while we flipped off Maddie and Ethan who were obnoxiously cheering.

"So much for being 'Platonic' huh?" I said softly.

Grayson let out a breathy laugh, "You know, I think I like this better anyway"

#ahhhhhhhhh this sucks #sorry about that #I don't blame you guys if you let this flop #love you all #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #dolan twins #grayson imagine #ethan imagine #grayson dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagine #dolan twins imagine #grayson oneshot #pt22222 #it’s platonish pt.2 #my works #corr try's writing #p.s. this is unedited sorry kids

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