#idk how u look at the last 2 games and say we have no offense lmfao

[3416]

just read a take about how 58-34-88 should play together in the playoffs bc we’ve had a baffling lack of offense without them, and i’d just like to say........... that is incorrect

[honsoolie]

don’t rush | 02

pairing: Yoongi/reader

genre: slight enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, eventual smut, classical pianist!yoongi, violinist!reader, they’re both actually really into each other but won’t admit it

warnings (for this chapter only): mentions of stage fright/performance anxiety, swearing, sexual references, slight angst, dad jokes :|  

words: 6k 

rating: +18

summary: You know, when Min Yoongi’s face isn’t screwed into an accusatory scowl, he looks exactly like the kind of guy you’d have no trouble falling in love with. Or, the conservatory au where Yoongi helps you get over your stage fright. In more ways than one.

a/n: didn’t plan to take this long for an update, life gets in the way, you know the drill. read 01 here and as always, this is crossposted to ao3 :) 

When you get inside, the warmth welcomes you in. You’re not quite sure if it’s from the heating in the hallway or how Yoongi’s eyes had shone in the moonlight. You lean against the inner door frame, a happy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, legs a little weak in the knee. You feel light-headed, maybe from being up late, maybe from your exhausting day, maybe from the lingering remnants of Yoongi’s cologne. 

Did that really just happen? Did he really just ask for your number? Was this all a dream?

The euphoria is short-lasting, however. You still have some assignments waiting for you, and only a couple hours left until your morning classes. The tiredness never lets up, and your limbs heavy again as you make your way inside the lobby of your dorm.  

Unknown number (2:47am): hi this is yoongi 

Unknown number (2:47am): did you get inside ok? 

You (2:48am): yeah

You (2:48am): did u? 

  Yoongi (2:50am): im walking back now 

Yoongi (2:50am): you should sleep soon :// 

  You (2:51am): I still have hw :( 

You (2:51am): text me when ur back inside too 

  Yoongi (2:53am): lmaoo is it counterpoint hw 

Yoongi (2:54am): it’s so sweet that you care for my safety ;( 

  You (2:54am): yes sadly 

You (2:55am): ofc I care, we can’t have our amazing star pianist get hurt 

  Yoongi (2:55am): im home now

Yoongi (2:58am): you have a thing for praise, don’t you 

Even though you can’t see him, you splutter alone in your room, roommate fast asleep. There is no way that means what you think it means. 

You (3:00am): idk where u got that from 

You (3:03am): maybe i do, you’ll have to find out 

  Yoongi (3:04am): I would, but you have to finish your analysis worksheet :/ 

  You (3:15am): ugh, fuck it

You (3:15am): im going to sleep 

You (3:15am): ill just wake up early tomorrow to finish it before class 

  Yoongi (3:16am): what? No goodnight? >:( 

Yoongi (3:17am): some manners you have 

Yoongi (3:17am): what a rude girl 

  You (3:18am): aw have i been bad? 

You (3:18am): I’m sooooo sorry 

You (3:19am): gn 

The minutes tick by, and you grow more indignant than you should. Is he serious? 

Who doesn’t say goodnight back? Maybe you scared him off. Maybe all this “flirtatious” banter was just how Yoongi talked to his friends. How would you know? You don’t know anything about him. 

The same insidious doubt creeps back in. Maybe this is all a game to him. Maybe he just wanted to introduce himself to another music student in the department, you all were supposed to know each other anyway. Maybe, worst of all, he had really only meant to wake you up in the music building as a simple courtesy, no intent behind it. You groan as you sink into your bed, cradling your head in your hands. 

You (3:27am): some hypocrite you are 

  Yoongi (3:30am): I was in the showerrr relax 

Yoongi (3:31am): hm you have been bad 

Yoongi (3:33am): maybe I should punish you 

  You (3:29am): u wish 

You (3:30am): but goodnight for real, we have class in five hours :”( 

  Yoongi (3:31am): goodnight

Yoongi (3:31am): save me a spot next to you 

~

You were in the world’s smallest big crisis. 

Was Yoongi actually serious when he asked you to save a seat? Or were you just indulging in wishful thinking? Was he flirting with you last night? And if he was, what are you supposed to do now? 

Whatever he meant, you would have to face him now. 

The endless litany of maybes and what-ifs grows louder in your head, even louder than last night during your text correspondence with him.You elect to use your backpack to save the seat next to you as class time draws nearer, chiding yourself for overthinking something so casual, but it does nothing to soothe your existential anxiety. 

“Thanks for saving me a spot, I’m so glad you remembered.” A voice brings you out of your reverie. It takes a moment to register who it is at first. Your eyes meet the traditional college garb first, sweatpants and an overwashed fundraising t-shirt, then the half-tamed cowlick, that ever-present cup of coffee. Your breath catches in your throat, breathtaking despite the casual circumstances. It’s just another class lecture, you chastise yourself, but your gut twists nonetheless. 

Seeing Yoongi in such close quarters is still an adjustment for you, his presence (or even the thought of being close to him) a shock to your body. You had spent so much time languishing after him that even now, it still feels like waking up into a dream. 

You clear your throat, stalling, “Yeah, putting my backpack in the seat next to mine was sooo hard. You should compensate me for my labor.” 

You try to put on the flirty smile that you were wearing last night, but it feels like a grimace. God, you are way too nervous for this. 

You realize you’ll never get tired of the way he laughs at your shitty jokes, the way his shoulders shake and eyes crinkle at the corners. 

“Yeah, I will, don’t you worry about that.” He sinks into the seat next to you and doesn’t spare you a second glance. 

Dr. Won walks in, the picture of put-togetherness, killing whatever flirty response you had formulated. 

You thought you had enjoyed having a crush before, but admiring someone and imagining a life together from afar was worlds away from talking and sitting next to said object of affection. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You shouldn’t be tripping all over yourself when Yoongi sits next to you in lecture. 

Whatever Dr. Won is saying is drowned out by Yoongi sitting next to you. It feels deeply unfair how he affects you, when he gets to sit next to you like nothing important is happening. It’s just another day in lecture, preparing for the midterms coming up. 

He’s not even doing anything, minding his own business. You shouldn’t be swooning when he is just sitting there, again bouncing his leg, taking diligent notes. From the furtive glances you steal, even his handwriting is attractive. Endearing, even if it was a little messy and looping over the printed lines.

~

True fact: the only reason why Yoongi fidgets so much is because of the effect you had on him. It drives him up the wall, the way you keep tucking your hair behind your ear. He envies your unfaltering concentration, the look in your eye when you see something on the Powerpoint slides that you have to jot down. 

Yoongi can’t stand to silently sit next to you without doing anything anymore. Taking his pen, he scrawls on the corner of your neat notes. He knows it’ll piss you off, but that’s the reaction that he wants. 

  do you have any idea what is going on 

  He watches carefully for your reaction. Satisfaction creeps into his neutral expression when you notice, confusion turning into what could only be a lovestruck smile, and then into an irritated grimace. Fuck, even the curve of your wrist was enough to drive him crazy. You pick up your pen, writing back. 

  No, stop writing on my stuff 

  Okay, new plan, Yoongi concedes. He settles for writing on the corner of his own notes, tearing off the corner. He slips the paper into your lap, fingertips skimming the top of your thigh. He doesn’t notice, but he leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake. 

  don’t you think dr. won dresses like an old hag 

  You write back on the scrap of paper: 

actually you could learn a thing or two from her 

  Yoongi smirks, in classic Yoongi fashion. 

You know I would rock a long skirt like her 

  Yoongi watches you read his message, smile, and then tuck the note into your notebook. 

~

After class, Dr. Won reminds everyone of the midterm coming up two weeks from now, and that’s when Yoongi senses an opportunity. The two of you walk out of class together, forced to walk side by side because of the student foot traffic.

“Do you like, want to study together sometime?” Yoongi blurts out, louder than he needs to be, even among the hum of the other students. 

 He clears his throat. “I mean, we’ve shared a lot of classes, so.” 

You can’t help but laugh in surprise, or maybe incredulousness. You resist the urge to let the satisfaction show on your face. “I didn’t know you ever noticed.” 

“Of course I did. You’re like, the biggest nerd on the planet.” Even when Yoongi is teasing you, he can’t help but sound bashful. 

You gasp in mock offense. “There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd.” You both stop, standing at the mouth of the lecture hall. 

“Of course not.” He’s awfully close to you, close enough that you can see the mole on the tip of his nose. “That’s why I’m asking you to be my study buddy.”

It’s not necessary to be standing this close. Sure, the hallway is busy, but not that busy. 

“Study buddy? That sounds lame.” You scoff, playing hard to get. Both you and Yoongi know you’re going to say yes anyway. 

“What else do you want me to call you? My homework homie?” 

“Uh, yeah . That sounds way better than study buddy. ” You’re more proud of your humor than anything else, even if it earns a deserved eye-roll from Yoongi. 

“And midterms are coming up. So you know, mutually beneficial.” Yoongi takes a sip from his coffee, peering at you from behind the rim.   

“Like… friends with benefits?” You can’t help yourself. It’s just too easy to flirt with him. 

Yoongi tongues his cheek, he grins. “Only if you want it to be.” He’s having way too much fun with this. 

You try to hide your reaction, but Yoongi notices anyway. (He notices a lot of things you don’t realize.) Your wide-eyed shock, the blush that’s flushing down your neck, the way you open your mouth as if to say something equally as flirtatious back, your laugh, like this is actually way more casual than it is. 

“So I’ll take that as a yes,” He says. You could get used to the playful lilt in his voice. 

“Only if you promise you won’t just copy my work.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, suddenly very aware of how tall he is. 

“I live and die by the honor code, y/n. Of course I won’t,” Yoongi says, leaning ever closer to you in the cramped hallway. 

You quirk an eyebrow. “Does a man of honor text me like you did last night?” 

“Oh come on. If you’re going to be friends with me you’re going to have to learn to laugh at dirty humor.” Friends? It’s a start, at least. 

“Who said that I didn’t like dirty humor?” 

“Hmm, I did.” There’s a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. “You’d have to be a woman of your word and show me.” 

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You flash an innocent smile, like you don’t see the implication of what he’s saying. 

~

Tuesdays have always been the most bittersweet day of the week for you. It’s lesson day, but oh, it’s lesson day. It feels like the day of judgement, every single week. It’s a culmination of all the blood and tears that you’ve poured into your music in the past week, another chance at evaluation. You’ve known your violin teacher longer than you’ve been in college, and it still shouldn’t scare you this much.

The nervousness spins and dips in your chest as you make your way up the winding stairs that lead to the music building. You usually soothe the apprehension by reminding yourself of all the things you’ve done to prepare, just like you usually do before you go out on stage. This week you were supposed to get the rest of the Bach partita memorized and cleaned up, but it still resides in your memory as disjointed bits and pieces of what it’s actually supposed to sound like. You try to run through the parts that you were stuck on last night, but you draw a blank. You usually don’t take this long to commit pieces to memory, but when you open up your score, all you can think about is the unmoving stare of the audience. Seeing your life flash before your eyes every time you stare at your pencil markings isn’t exactly conducive to productive practice sessions. 

As you retrieve your violin from your locker and make your way to the practice room, you feel like you’re preparing yourself for your own undoing—every scale, every tick of the metronome—another step towards your demise. 

It shouldn’t be this serious, but the pitter-pattering of your heart says otherwise. You glance at the clock. It’s time. You pack up now, so you have a couple extra minutes to wait solemnly outside of her office, staring at the posters that advertise the professionals who come to perform concerts at your college. Next week, a pianist and violinist duo is coming. In the picture, they’re smiling proudly next to a Steinway piano. They look proud of themselves. They probably don’t feel like they’re allergic to the stage, probably live for the audience’s applause. That’s probably how they ended up there on the poster, after all. 

Your violin teacher isn’t scary. She’s a homey, lovely old woman whose wrinkles come from a lifetime of smiling. She’s the type to bring you sweet, homemade pastries that are almost as warm as her hugs during the toughest parts of the semester. Which makes the moments when she’s unhappy all the more painful. It’s not her fear that plagues you, but disappointment. 

The door clicks open, and you have no more time to ponder your failures as a musician. You gather your things and head inside. Nothing inside her office has changed since the previous week. The same teetering stack of well-loved method books sits on her chair, the same humidifier whirring steadily in the corner, the same Dr. Kim Hyung-Seo sitting on the piano bench. 

“Good afternoon, y/n! How’s the Bach coming along?” She asks, like you haven’t spent the past week treating this piece like your mortal enemy. She takes a sip of her warm chamomile tea, from the same snowman-shaped mug that she’s used every week, because she is that endearing. In another life, she would probably be your grandmother. 

“Good morning. Ah, you know…” You trail off and gesture into the air, trying to hide your grimace. How could you possibly describe the unease and unsureness around performing without crossing some kind of professional boundary? 

“Let’s hear it, it’s okay. Are you all warmed up?” You nod as you unpack your things again. As you move to put the Bach score on the music stand, she tuts. 

“Didn’t we agree that this would be memorized last week?” Dr. Kim flips through her lesson notes, inky blue scrawling over the pages. “Yeah, it should be memorized. Close the score, darling.” Usually, when Dr. Kim calls you darling, warmth unfurls in your chest and you beam. You’re not feeling particularly warm right now. 

“Ah, okay…” With slow reluctance, you close the score, the plain paper cover mocking you. You lift your bow to your violin, and shut your eyes. You don’t want to watch this. 

~

Yoongi (4:38pm): Hey 

Yoongi (4:38pm): wanna study tonight :] 

If there’s anything Yoongi is good at, it’s having perfect timing. You half-walk, half-run out of the music building, sucking frigid air into your lungs. The cold weather seems to force the tears back into your eyes. If there was ever a worst-case scenario for how a lesson could go, then that was what just played out in the music room. 

Shutting your eyes won’t stop the barrage of images, playing the world’s cruelest slideshow behind your eyelids. Your teacher’s pursed lips, the still fingers clasped over her mug, the pinched brow. 

“y/n, we don’t have much more time to clean it up…” Her words echo in your head. “We’ll try again next week…” The disappointment was the worst thing, the downward tone in her voice. “I expected better…” 

You (5:15pm): maybe 

You (5:15pm): what time? 

  Yoongi (5:20pm): like now 

Yoongi (5:23pm): are you busy? 

  You (5:25pm): no I just finished up a lesson 

You (5:26pm): i’m about to study in the library if you want to join me 

  Yoongi (5:30pm): I don’t want to go to the library :( 

  You (5:31pm): why not 

  Yoongi (5:32pm): if I feed you dinner will you come to my apartment 

Yoongi (5:33pm): I really don’t want to walk to the library it’s too damn cold 

  After all, the best way to a woman's heart is through her stomach.

  You (5:35pm): fine 

You (5:35pm): it better be a hell of a dinner 

  Yoongi (5:36pm): of course it will 

Yoongi sends you his location, and you’re walking as fast as you can through the campus to make it to his apartment before you can freeze your fingers off. 

~

Yoongi’s expression is nothing short of scandalized when you show up at his door. It’s a typical mouse hole apartment, his front door identical to all the other ones that you’d passed to get here. 

“You’re not wearing gloves? In this weather?” 

“I don’t have any…” You rasp out. You’re tired. Your throat hurts from trying to hold tears back during your entire lesson, and you have no spirit left to give Yoongi an innuendo-laced comeback. 

I expected better. 

“Oh my god, you’ve been playing violin for how many years and nobody ever told you to wear gloves when it’s cold?” He leads you inside, the warmth abating the cold that’s wormed its way underneath your clothes and into your bones. 

“For God’s sake, y/n, hasn’t anyone ever told you about the importance of blood circulation?” Yoongi clasps your hands between his, rubbing and blowing air on them to warm them up. He doesn’t notice your surprise amid his chastising, muttering something about common sense. You don’t try to keep your guard up this time, just trying to bite tears back at the mention of musicianship. The firm press of his hands grounds you. 

“There.” He smiles, proud of himself. “Warm now?” 

Oh yeah, you’re definitely warm. In every dimension of the word. But you don’t tell him that, so you settle for a weak nod. 

“You can put your stuff there. I’m hungry now, let’s eat first?” You hum in affirmation as you settle your heavy backpack on his cramped couch. 

It turns out that Min Yoongi’s idea of gourmet cooking is heating up two freezer-burnt Hot Pockets while you watch him putter around the tiny kitchenette. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him without his glasses, and this is when you finally internalize that Yoongi will always look good no matter what he does or wears or says. 

“You made it seem like you were cooking,” You say, just to fill the silence. 

“Uhhhh, I don’t know who told you I was capable of cooking, but they were wrong. I can show you a good time in other ways, no?” 

You snort. 

In hopes of saving time, he microwaves both of Hot Pockets at the same time. You silently bristle at the fact that even your dinner is getting more action than you are these days. 

You and Yoongi eat together in his tiny living room, sitting on mismatched stools.  

“How did your lesson go?” Yoongi says, more focused on eating than on you. 

“Oh…” You set your Hot Pocket down, sighing in defeat. The image of Dr. Kim sitting behind the piano bench, her dissatisfaction like a noxious cloud. “I… I…  got ripped apart. I’m a little behind with preparing for the Bach festival, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do or prepare will make me less stressed about it.” You slump onto the counter, recounting all the things you did wrong in your lesson today. I expected better. 

“What’s the stress about? We still have over a month, right?” You’re suddenly jealous of Yoongi. His nonchalance, his seemingly constant reassurance that everything is going to be okay. 

“I’m not worried about that… just, no matter how much I practice, I’m gonna fuck it up on stage.” Your forehead pinches in frustration. 

“Are you that nervous?” 

“I’ve always been this nervous. For any performance. I haven’t performed alone in a while… and you know. It’s Bach, and everyone expects me to do some amazing job, and it’s like, I don’t know if I can deliver that and-” Yoongi eases his hand on your shoulder, calm, reassuring. He looks concerned. Like he cares. Like a friend. 

“When was the last time you played something just for the fun of it?”

“I don’t know, maybe my freshman year? I used to arrange themes from movies.” 

“We should work on something together, just for fun. We’re such a perfect instrument combo, there’s so much repertoire for violin and piano.” 

“What did you have in mind? Do you even have enough time for that?” (You know you don’t have enough time for that.) 

“It doesn’t even have to be a difficult piece. It could be something easy or hard, I don’t care.” Yoongi ponders his next words over a bite of his food. “I… I... just want to see you less stressed out. And music should always be fun, not just for a grade. What kind of music would you be making if you weren’t happy?” 

“I don’t know…” 

“I know this one Brahms piece that I think you’d like. Totally fits your vibe. We can just work on it slowly, you know? Or we could arrange the Anpanman theme song, I don’t care.” 

~

“I think I’m mostly good for the midterm, except for the composer dates,” Yoongi spins around in his office chair, dragging his feet on the ground. 

“Me too,” You say, as you drink in the sight of his room. For someone who claims to abhor studying and all things academic, Yoongi appears to be quite the organized student. Despite the constant claim that his education is merely a necessary evil, he keeps his notes organized in uniform binders on a well-cared for bookshelf. The bookshelf is adjacent to the extremely detailed wall calendar, marked full with due dates and deadlines in pens of various colors. 

He runs his fingers over the binders to locate the binder allocated to the species counterpoint class you’re taking together. 

“I already have flashcards for everything before the Romantic Era, but I’m so fucked for everything else.” 

“Why not just use Quizlet like everyone else?” You say. You eye his neatly made bed and the Kumamon stuffed animal shoved hastily underneath it. 

“Back in my day, we used flashcards like cavemen,” Yoongi reasons, despite the fact that your birthdays are months within each other. “And besides, they feel better in your hand.” Of course, they’re indexed by color and musical era. 

~

“Ugh, I hate sitting at my desk. My back is starting to hurt,” Yoongi says, despite having worked for about ten minutes. “Do you want to lay down?” He pats the fluffy comforter adjacent to him. Yoongi doesn’t wait for your response however, plopping down on the bed with an audible thump. 

“Okay, old man,” You jibe, but you’ve also been sitting for a majority of the day. Your back is aching too, but you’ll never admit it to him. 

Sometimes, at times like these, you wish you could just muster up the courage and stop playing this game of cat and mouse with him. When you lay on his sheets that smell like him, quizzing each other, you wonder what would happen if you confessed your feelings for him, right then and there. 

Or outlined exactly how exactly you would take his cock in your mouth, given the chance. Other times, you consider the fact that he might like to play with his food before diving in. Whatever it was, it scared you, the unease climbing up your spine and staying put. 

You wonder if he understands the implication of you so casually lounging on his bed, but then you realize that you likely don’t exist in the realm of romantic possibilities for him. He likely sees you as the nerdy, sexless violinist that spends all her time slaving away in the practice room or the library. That’s why you’re here, after all. To help study for the midterms coming up. “Being friends with him is better than nothing,” you tell yourself, but you can’t really bring yourself to believe it. 

You don’t remember, or at least don’t care to, when Yoongi started touching every aspect of your life. It’s really only been a couple of weeks since the two of you started studying together. You don’t dare to imagine how much of your thoughts he would occupy if you continue your friendship into the coming months. If your crush of massive proportions was bad before, it’s truly out of hand now. It certainly didn’t help that he actually knew you existed now. He spammed you gifs of baby animals while he was on the way to class, texted you links to performances of pieces that he was working on. He even began to send you teasing texts on the mornings that he made it to the practice rooms before you. 

Every experience you have is colored by thoughts of him. The coffee that you drink like ambrosia conjures up images of him sitting across from you in some far-off sunlit cafe, laughing at all your jokes. On the nights when sleep escapes  you, you lay awake rehashing over and over what you had said to him on the previous day. You even fall into reveries when he’s sitting there right next to you. 

 It’s inescapable, especially with the Bach Festival looming over your head. The more time you spend in the practice room, the more you go back to that one fateful night. You can still see the image of him now, sitting before the piano, playing Chopsticks. 

You both make your way through the fat deck of flashcards, Yoongi quizzing you first. 

“J.S. Bach?” You note to yourself even the upswing in his voice was cute. How did you ever let yourself get so whipped?

“1685 to…” You falter, still stuck on his voice. Even his voice drives you crazy. 

“Come on, you should know this.” He drives his point home by poking you in the side, and he likes the gasp that you make. 

“1750.” Of course you know Bach’s birth and death dates by heart. You see it every time you open up your score. Even the scant prod he gave you in the side, over your clothes, is enough to make your skin heat up. 

“And if you ever tickle me again, you won’t live long enough for midterms,” You threaten, but your harsh tone of voice doesn’t reach the light in your eyes. 

“Brahms?” 

“Ugh, fuck, I don’t know. 1832 to?” 

“Wrong.” He sets the cards down next to him, looking at you in mock disappointment. In an instant, he attacks you with tickles, and your efforts to bat him away are fruitless. 

“This-this is what you get for not knowing when Brahms was born! Learn through punishment! 1833 to 1897, remember that next time!!” He collapses on top of you, burying his face in your neck, unrelenting. Yoongi sounds almost gleeful in your torture. 

You writhe under his touch, and for all the wrong reasons. 

For the first time in your life, you’re almost glad you’re ticklish. Your eyes roll back into your head, not of your own accord. It’s too much, the soft skin of his cheek pressed up against your neck, the warm weight of his body against yours, the way his legs cage you in. A moan slips in between your helpless giggles, and Yoongi doesn’t miss it. 

“Uhhh, what was that?” He doesn’t stop, merciless in his advance. “I didn’t know you liked tickling… like that.” He’s teasing you, now. He can’t hide his pleased grin. 

Between gasps, you manage to pant, “I… don’t…” 

“Then what? Tell me.” That’s when Yoongi relents, leaning back. He continues to straddle you, because he’s cruel like that. (And because he likes it too.)

“You’re just… ugh, I don’t know… so close.” In Yoongi’s eyes, you’re a study in debauchery. From your struggle, your hair is mussed, the hem of your shirt awry. Your cheeks are flushed, from embarrassment or from the tickling, you don’t know. Your chest frantically rises and falls, trying to regain your breath. 

You, on the other hand, feel fucking ridiculous. Contrary to popular belief, being on the recieving end of tickling is fucking physically exhausting. 

Yoongi is stuck on the hot and bothered look on your face, except for the hard look in your eye. You despise being tickled, even if it is Min Yoongi doing the tickling. He wonders what you’d look like if you were underneath him in… different circumstances. 

Would it compare? 

“I… I… I just…” You avert your gaze now, hiding your face behind your hands. You can’t stand to look at him right now. 

“Spill it, or I’ll go back to tickling you until you break.” He grabs your hands away from your face, pinning them next to your head. 

He really isn’t going to make this easy for you, is he. 

This is overwhelming. The eye contact is too much. The weight of his hands on your wrists, holding you down, is too much. The way his panting breath tickles the skin beneath your collar is too much. You’ve had a bad day, the voice in the back of your head whispers. He makes you forget how awful this semester has been. He makes you feel better. Make this day easier on yourself. Just give in. 

There’s no hiding it now, you concede. 

You shut your eyes, unable to face him. “It’s just… been a while.” 

“Uh-huh. Continue?” He places his hands back on your stomach, as if in warning. 

“Since uhhhh… I’ve done… anything… with anyone…” Your words hang heavy in the air. Your secret is out. 

He laughs. He really has the audacity to laugh. 

“Shut up! I’m just like, touch starved, okay?” You’re definitely just blushing out of embarrassment, at this point. 

Yoongi starts to ponder if he crossed too far of a line, but you continue anyway.  You huff, indignant and desperate to cover your ass. This is not how you ever imagined telling Yoongi you were ever interested in him, sexual or not. 

“Not everyone is like, the campus pussy magnet and gets to fuck whenever they want,” You say. 

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m not the campus pussy magnet. We’re... not so different. I haven’t been with anyone, um, in a while.” Now Yoongi takes his turn to blush and stutter. He does that thing he always does when he’s nervous, runs a hand through his hair and lets it rest on the nape of his neck.  

“I find that hard to believe. No need to lie out of pity. Like, come on. Look at you. You’re all…” You gesture down his body, “And you have that whole vibe going on, and you’re tall, and you have good taste in cologne, and-and-and you play the piano , and ugh. You should know that by now.” You babble on. You’re not that good at keeping secrets, anyway. Might as well let the cat out of the bag while you’re at it. 

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but you’re not fazed. By now, you’re used to the long silences that elapse when you’re with him. You wait for him to talk first, just so you can discreetly enjoy the feeling of him straddling you for a little longer. You try to pass off the silence as you quietly fuming at him for calling out your lackluster sex life, but you’re really just trying get yourself together. 

Then he starts laughing. Again.  

“What are you laughing for now?” Your brow furrows in frustration. 

“Nothing, nothing, don’t be mad. I just didn’t think that tickling would be a turn on for you.” 

“It’s not!” 

“To be completely honest with you, you look like one of those really innocent soft girls on the outside but you’re actually like, into choking and have a secret sex dungeon.” He doesn’t seem to care that you’ve all but revealed your massive, terminal crush on him. 

You sigh, but you’re just glad he gave you something to fire back with. 

“You and I both know that the university dorms are too small for a sex dungeon, Yoongi. I can’t even have candles in my room. What sex dungeon is complete without candles?” 

“Oh, a devil in the details. The ambiance is important, I see…” That devious smile of his makes a comeback. 

“Oh, shut up. Give me the flashcards, four-eyes.” He relinquishes the flashcards, but he still continues to straddle you. 

“Woah, there’s no need to insult my glasses.”

You ignore him, desperate to move on from your momentary lapse in judgement. “Haydn?”

“1732 to 1809. What about music? Music must be important if you care about the ambiance. Answer my question.” 

You laugh to cover up how worked up you are. “Maybe you can find out after we finish reviewing. Scarlatti?” 

“1660 to 1725. What kind of music do you listen to? R&B, something sexy?” He sits up now, spurred on by your refusal to answer his questions. 

“Or do you listen to classical music then, too? Does Chopin get your blood flowing?” He’s being insufferable now.

You groan into the pillow. “Yoongiii, let’s focus.” 

“If it’s something like Liszt, I’m sure I have a couple recommendations.” 

Yoongi sits up straighter, waggles his eyebrows in a way you definitely shouldn’t find endearing. “Or, I could record something for you…” 

You snap. “Just, I don’t know, sometimes I listen to music?” Your attempts to stop the blushing are in vain, heat blooming across your cheeks and down your neck. It’s even harder to stop when it’s your embarrassingly short sexual history on the line. 

“I prefer dirty talk anyways…” You murmur under your breath, wishing he could just get the fuck off your case. The more he keeps talking about things like this, in that tone of voice, the harder it’s going to get to keep your ever-growing crush a secret. 

Still, some small part (let’s be honest, the monkey brain part of you) of you, the part of you that aches for him, wants to spur him on. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing! Nothing.” 

“Hmm… something about dirty talk?” Fuck, does Yoongi have a good ear. He smiles. He knows he’s gotten you now. 

Okay, you should probably admit to yourself that he’s flirting with you now. The touches, the holding you down, the insistence on pushing this tiny matter, it all adds up. And the math says that Min Yoongi is flirting with you. 

“Mmm, nothing.” You snuggle a little deeper into his bedsheets, playing coy.

“You know, like during sex? Don’t make me tickle you again, because I will stoop that low.” 

“I don’t remember saying that…” You mock-pretend to ponder his question, catch your bottom lip between your teeth. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see his gaze fall downward. You know you’ve gotten him now. 

“Can you refresh my memory?” 

“Like… you know.” He shrugs. 

“I’m an auditory learner. Do you have an example?” 

“Hmm, let me think… I’ll tease you until you’re begging for me to touch you properly? Does that ring a bell for you?” 

“No…” You bring your hands to your face to cover up your blush, and because you can’t stand to look at him. Not when he’s talking to you like that, with that look in his eye, his hands on your body. “It doesn’t…” You laugh, even beneath his weight. 

He laughs. “I’m just teasing. You’re so cute when I get a rise out of you.” 

Oh. 

[oikaw-ugh]

asdfghjkl. Tysm for letting me send a request, Leia! You are so sweet! ❤ Hmm so about me, I'm an introvert and prefer to stay at home all the time. Apart from watching anime and reading a lot of stuff, I also like to listen to music mostly Japanese songs these days and playing gacha games 😅. Lastly, I have a 5 year old pug who is as lazy as its owner. Idk if this is enough but thank you again ❤

Hello, Ate Nich! And you're very much welcome! I love our convos they make me feel so old (in a good way. Like matured-) HEHEHEHEH I Hope I don't disappoint you with this!

I match you with...

Lev Haiba!

Kuroo's face is an everyday face

Chose Lev mainly because you seem so grounded? And matured? And Lev is SOOOO childish. The possibilities of this dynamics is insane!

We all know how Lev is to everyone, right?

He's soooo extroverted I actually feel Kenma's pain :((

N e ways! I feel like the first time you both see each other is at uni. But don't get me wrong, you're not friends with Lev. You're friends w/ Kuroo. And you're a year younger than the two.

And like, the first time Lev saw you is probably when you greeted Kuroo at the hallways.

Kuroo: Oh. This is Nich. A friend.

The extroverted that he is, he immediately bombarded you with his questions and random stories that you surprisingly listened to.

Lev when he noticed how you're actually listening to him because he got so used with Nekoma team laughing or disregarding him (ehem-Kenma-ehem-Yaku): 🥺🥺🥺

And I feel like the moment you speak your mind? Lev is blown away!

'Cause you seem so wise and Lev is in awe.

It's like he's younger than you thinking-wise.

Lev: Are you...a goddess?

You: No, Lev-san. I'm Nich.

Lev falling for you is like how a child is if in love.

He loves to boast around you, to impress you, and he does 'things' to make him seem 'cool'.

Lev: Nich! I aced the quiz at my last subject this morning!

You: That's great, Lev-san!

Lev: 🥺

Lev: Nich, let me uncap that for you! *Uncaps your water*

You: ᴵ ʷᵃˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵖˡᵃⁿⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ᵈʳᶦⁿᵏᶦⁿᵍ

He wants to be with you all the time, which is almost impossible because you're both v busy.

Lev: Nich, where are you going?

You: Oh, to the Lib with my friends.

Lev: L-Let me come with you!

You: ???? But you have classes, right?

Lev: 👁️👄👁️

He also loves it when you're so kind to him? The genuine gentleness? What is that???

I SWEAR HE MELTS WITH EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DO

You: Lev-san, it's already lunch time. Have you eaten?

You: Lev-san, that's so funny!

You: Oh, what you said actually makes sense, Lev-san.

You: Thank you, Lev-san.

Lev: ᵂᶦˡˡ ᵘ ᵐᵃʳʳʸ ᵐᵉ

Truth to be told, Lev was oblivious of his affection for you.

All he knows is that he loves talking to you because he loves your mind and he loves how your words lift him up.

Well, that's what he thought.

When Kuroo asked if something is going on between you two, Lev was completely off guard.

Lev: Kuroo-san! I-we-nich-were uh...

You: That's crazy, Kuroo-san. Lev-san is like a brother to me.

Lev: 😳

He hated that.

And that's where it starts. He loves how you ruffle his hair but he hates the words that come along with it.

You: You're so cool, Lev-san.

If it's possible to feel uwu and mad at the same time, then that's what Lev is feeling.

The stupid honorific (san) makes him remember how you only think of him as a brother!!!

At first, he kind of brushed it off. But he's had enough it actually drove him to confessing out of the blue.

You: Oh, Lev-

Lev who just appeared in front of you at the library: Don't call me Lev-san! I'm not your brother. I like you, Nich.

Alexa, play RADWIMPS' Sparkle!

Dating is so chaotic.

Most of the days, you're lazy. But Lev is so extroverted he wants to go out with you ALMOST ALL THE TIME.

Lev at your door: Hello, Nich!

You w/ your bed hair: Lev, it's 7 AM.

Lev: I just taught it'd be nice to go to the theme park with you now...

You: 👁️👄👁️ Lev, it's still 7 AM-

Lev learned it in a hard way that it is, most of the time, impossible to pull you out of your house so he settles with domestic dates.

Nothing fancy, really. Prolly just you two chilling at the room. Like, you reading on the end of the couch while Lev curls himself up at the other end, scanning his phone while his legs playfully push yours and stuff.

You: Lev, stop it.

Lev: c: *kicks you still anyway*

And I can imagine the two of you blasting Japanese songs. Just loud enough for you to hear and low enough that you wouldn't be disturbing the neighbors.

When you watch anime, just imagine the giant laying on the bed and you literally hugging him like a tree.

Like, your head fitting at his chest while you both watch at the screen??? HSJSJSJJS (excuse me i rlly love it i can picture it happening)

And like, he's so LOUUUUUD! He always has something to say in every scene!

He screamed even though the MCs are literally just hugging each other

But when you speak though, he goes silent. Mainly because he loves your voice and also because he lovesyour thoughts.

Lev: THIS IS SO-

You: But for me though...

Lev: *seals lips*

The closest to cuddling is just hugging...

Because the moment you go beyond that, your cutie doggo butts in!

Doggo: i see u i dun approve

Your pug is so cute btw 🥺

Your pug was so intimidated by Lev when they first met, your pug actually tried to protect you even though ur doggo is so lazy!

But Lev was able to get your doggo's approval though when he brought you two to a dog's park.

When you have dates outside, I see you two visiting bookshops? Because you love to read.

And Lev is a simp so he gives in to everything you want.

Like, the look on his face when he sees you light up when you two pass by at a bookstore? He loves it.

Or like, you two are just walking then you kind of pause and stare at a shop, he's like:

Lev: Do you want to go in?

You: Uh, no, I was just-

Lev: Let's go!

You: Wait-

Cinemas and fancy restaurants are a thing. Coffee shops/milk tea shops, too. But I think you two fight when it comes to paying.

Lev insists he pays for you two but you're like.

Nich: Lev, let's split the bill.

Lev: No, Nich. It's okay.

Nich: Lev *glare*

Lev: 😳

Fights...

ABSOLUTELY!

Lev can just be...too much sometimes.

Like, he insists you two go out somewhere, he insist he does this for you and stuff.

"Nich, lemme do that!" "Nich, I'll do it instead." "Nich, it's on me."

And it just not feels good when he tries to be the only one balancing the relationship?

Nich: Lev, I'm here too!

And he thinks that it's offensive and like you don't trust him? Which is not the case!

IT'S MISCOMMUNICATION U 2 >=[[[

You're the more patient one in the relationship so you try to explain it to him?

But with how hardheaded Lev is? Nah. It doesn't reach his ears :((((

But give it a couple of days, or hours. Just let Lev sink the situation in, and he'd eventually understand that he did wrong and all

After his realization, expect him to suddenly pop wherever you are, with this cute look on his face while he brings with him a gift.

Dog food? A book? A cute notebook? Anything.

Lev: Nich, I'm sorry 🥺

And that just melts your heart? You happily accept him and his gift. You just hug him like, for a couple of minutes before you two settle down as you try to explain what he did wrong and THIS TIME, he listens.

HELLO, ATE NICH!!!! I Hope you like this!!! *Fingers crossed* I hope this is close to accuracy 🥺

[fiirstoverall]

                  ❝ THESE are the days we won’t 𝑅𝐸𝒢𝑅𝐸𝒯 ❞

                                                 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔...

          [ matthew noszka, male, he/him ] have you seen CHRISTOPHER CLYDE hanging around ? the TWENTY-SIX year old often hangs around WELLCLIFF BEACH when they’re not being an NHL CENTER. i’ve been told they’re LAIDBACK but BOYISH and when i look at them, i see THE SOLITUDE OF A BEACH AT DAWN, WATER OFF A DUCK'S BACK, && OCEAN BLUE EYES LIT UP WITH A SMILE. wellcliff wouldn’t be the same without ‘em ! [ ollie, 21, they/them, est ]

ABOUT

born in winterpeg winnipeg, grew up there. had a pretty typical childhood, y’know?? real supportive parents. signed him up for hockey when he was like four and the rest, as they say, is history.

this section is for hockey development shit everyone but me will find boring so u can skip if u want alsdkfj

went to shattuck-saint mary's in minnesota for high school where he played up grades showcasing an already blooming talent. wasn’t sure if he wanted to pursue the canadian junior leagues or the typical american development route of ncaa after that. ultimately was drafted high in the QWHL draft and played two seasons for the halifax mooseheads. by the time the hype wheels started turned for the 2011 nhl draft, chris was rumored to be the number 1 or 2 pick available. he ultimately went first overall to the edmonton oilers. signed his three year entry contract with them not long after that and went straight into the league. 

his early years were plagued with harsh judgement from the media that he wasn’t living up to his first overall status. pulling out to 63 points his first season, dropping to 40 due to lost time to injury, staggered back up to 55 the last season of his elc. though his first overall status was being contested, that was still enough to earn him a nice 7 year 6.2 million average annual value contract. pulled another 57 point season the first year of his contract and then the fifth year in the nhl happened.

it’s hard to say exactly what changed, but something just clicked. he had a hot start to the season and just never stopped, ending the season with his first above 90 season at 93 points. well, that could’ve just a fluke. but he came back the next season just one point shy of 100 at 99, and the next at 97. since then, he’s been a solid 90+ point producer, though he has yet to break that magical 100.

he just concluded the 6th year in his 7 year contract, leaving just one more year on it. he knows his next contract needs to be negotiated, that he’s due for a substantial pay raise, but he doesn’t want to put the team in a bind either. he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, and frankly is trying to not think about it.

SCOUTING REPORT: Clyde is a high-octane, offensive force. He owns a potent shot and a dazzling array of stickhandling moves that make him a gifted scorer and playmaker. He sees the ice very well and can fit passes through tight lanes for his teammates, while also having the anticipation skills to always be in the right place at the right time. Clyde’s skating stride is perhaps his most underappreciated quality. His two-step quickness is superb and he reaches top gear with alarming quickness. His hands and feet move in concert with each other, which enables him to make high-end moves without breaking stride. His shot can polarize goaltenders from the slot, the outside, or even with a well-placed wrist shot from the point. One must look at the little intricacies of his game to truly appreciate just how special he is. From his anticipation, to his shiftiness, to his ability to kick a puck up to his stick and shoot in one fluid motion, Clyde is truly dynamic. He also plays with a chip on his shoulder and is able to stand up for himself. His willingness to play defence is another asset that makes him such a complete player.

yeah i rly just stole nath*n mack*nnion’s career-don’t @ me.

his parents moved out of winnipeg to the milder climate of wellcliff, ma when chris when off to minnesota. so while chris didn’t exactly grow up in wellcliff, he’s spent most summers and breaks there since he was 14. a couple years ago, they moved even farther south to a nice retirement home in tampa. he probs bought for them tbh lmao. chris has always been a bit of the nostalgic type though, so when they finally moved out of the town, he took their old house and still lives in it during the off-season (anytime between mid-april to mid-june depending on playoffs until mid-september). he pays someone to take care of the house when he’s away (possible wc?).

homeboy’s nhl city is edmonton. while not winnipeg, best bet he spends as much time on the beach and generally soaking up sun in the off-season. often can be found running barefoot on the beach close to dawn. otherwise generally enjoying the sun whenever he’s not skating.

chris tries to not let a lot phase him. he took a lot of the criticism he faced the first four seasons in the nhl in stride ( and still does tbh, it comes with the job but it’s a lot less generally negative now ). very much a let the water run off your back type of person. tries to be down to earth and not act bigger than he is. people have called him a steady and reassuring presence because of it --- and has worn an A for the oilers the past three seasons. but at the same time he can be childish and boyish at times, especially around friends --- living up to that jock stereotype. he hasn’t had to face a lot of the “real world”, so even though his entrance to the nhl wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, he’s never felt what some would consider real adversity or had to struggle financially.

idk exactly where wellcliff is but there are three (four?) rinks in cape cod so one of those will do for his usual practices. probs drives into boston like once a week to skate with some buddies idk.

has heard bonnie & clyde jokes and pick up lines for twenty-six years and doesn’t see it ending any time soon.

still has dual american-canadian citizenship

6′2″. 210 lb. really blue eyes. has a saying tattooed on his ribs i just haven’t decided which one yet. also imagine his hair like in the header, none of that buzzed look here, lads.

OOC

          hey guys !! i’m ollie. fun fact about me is i don’t actually like the oilers alsdkjf. chris is a brand new chara so i will add more things to this as i think of them. it’s pretty all over the place right now and i do apologize alskdjf.

[migleefulmoments]

One of my fave Disney Princess stories is how she often implied that one of her 3 male LGBTQ+ actor ROOMMATES in LA is Oliver Stark. She said her roomie was a regular on 9-1-1 (dating back to s1) who was in every episode, was young (25-35), hot and unmarried. Oliver is the only guy that meets her stated criteria. Since she also said 2/3 of her LGBTQ+ roomies are closeted (and the 3rd is out), what's she implying about Oliver? Who outs close friends? It'd be horrifying, if it wasn't ALL LIES.

I’m just looking through some posts and found a bunch referring to her roommates as “L” and “A” -no mention of the 3rd one but I know she has claimed 3 in the past. I found this post about “L” calling her baby and clearly flirting so IDK what she is claiming with this. 

She says she is staying in the mansion of the wealthy roommate so here we have mention of the hot gardener (as an aside, how many WalMart and Sam’s club stores are there in 90210-ok I looked the nearest Sam’s club is almost 40 actual miles which in LA is 3000 miles; WalMart is only 10 miles. I used “90210″ so super generic and I’m not sure that is where she claimed she lived- but the rich dude who owns the huge home and drives a BMW SUV he freely let’s random model/actor/influencers use isn’t driving 40 miles to Sam’s Club to save on chicken salad.) 

La chronicles: I was tricked.

L: baby, I’m running to the store, wanna go?

Me: nope I’m staying here and salivate over this fan fiction and the gardener…. Whichever goes shirtless first.

A: *barks out a laugh* don’t molest the gardener.

Me: who me?

L: come on baby..

Me: noooooo. Sex and intrigue.

A: *Snorts*

L: I’m going to that little organic place you love…..

Me: chicken salad????? With the sprouts.?????

L: yep yep.

Me: okay!!.

A: have fun

Me: *running out the door shouts back* tell me if he gets nnnneeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiidddddddddd

L: BABY!!!

Me: what? He knows he is hot….

………….……….……..

(Thirty minutes later.)

Me: the fuck is this?

L: I said I needed to go to the store….

Me: no oo you said organic grocery…

L: yeah and I’ll get your chicken salad after we stock up.

Me…………..

Me……….

Me: but that’s sams

L: pretty and brains

Me: but but ….. only place worse to be on Saturday is hell mart!!!! I don’t wanna go in there..its gonna take forever

L: suck it up buttercup

Me: I was fucking tricked.

L: lead by the tummy…….

More about “L” who is apparently famous enough to have fanfiction about himself which he can readily find.  .  

Watching Nomie

Youd be surprised who visits tumble land.

L loves reading fan fiction about himself (he says he gets more game online than he ever does in real life) and tumbler. 😂🤣🤣😂😂😂. He has a ridiculous fascination sharing gifs of himself. he’s a goober. They crack him up.

Below is her post about how she was bearding and had to hide “A” -is he her  boyfriend of husband now she is hiding him along with her kids. Her kids were never living in CA that I ever read.  They were in South Carolina she occasionally talked about being separated from her teenage kids but that it was her time now and her career was important. She would write about being in LA most of the time-cryptic parties and work posts- and going back and forth to SC though she rarely posted from SC- except during one of the hurricanes.

Anonymous asked:

Hmmm ok I'm slightly intrigued maybe u do get it But most probably you don't Have you ever given up and gave away something you shouldn't have because you thought it was for the best and that guilt just fucking eats away at you every day I have lied to everyone even my family to hide something I didn't even know about The work was more important and I would have sold my soul to get what I wanted I just don't know now if any of it was worth it and tbh I don't think the big guys even think it

answered: Yeah.

I had to hide my kids for two years when I first got back heavily into modeling and switching back to acting. Was also bearding. Because I look so much younger than I am, they were afraid it would show negatively work wise. Also they didnt want questions about A and the minis. (I’m still cast as characters ten years younger than the actress that usually plays my mother. Its the cheeks and the voice).

One day I fucked up and mentioned my kids and it got in print when they were talking about fashion week. A was cool about it. But it resulted in a huge move for the minis and the whole family had to adjust. Mine and his.

There are other times I purposely fuck up. Because you just get sick of juggling. Other times its an honest mistake and then you deal with the shit and move on.

So now she and “A” have minis (kids) and they had to move. I’m not sure what the hell she is trying to spin here but clearly he isn’t the platonic roommate hanging out in LA. 

I found posts tonight where she claimed she has two friends in Hollywood who are gay and came out and one friend who slammed the closet door so hard it shook after he got an important role. 

I had no idea about Oliver- good sleuthing. 

She claims she’s pan and that gives her permission to say rude and misogynistic things 

Anonymous asked:

Who is gonna tell Darr/en he looks like M/ia's "best gay" in most of the pictures of them together where they are supposed to look in love? Especially the ones from last night lol

Just ya typical queer (I’m pan so imma say that). With his beardy.

Or hag. Whatever term ya wanna use.(X)

She HATED MIa...called her Amelia and wrote incredibly offensive-downright hateful-posts about Mia under the pseudonym The Ghost- who just happened to call her Amelia. Anons would ask Disneyprincess question for The Ghost and Disney would either answer them on The Ghosts behalf or claim she would relay the message/ask The Ghost. Yeah right. She even wrote fanfiction under that pseudonym. It was super bad -sentence structure, plot development, and character development were all grossly missing. It was basically BWP (bullying without plot). The stories are gone now- I have scoured the web looking for them.  I could kick myself for not saving some of them...if anyone has one, I'd love to see it.  The plot line of one was Mia ordering Darren around her office telling him she had complete control over him while he coward in front of her.  Darren meekly declared he would win in the end, but Mia just kept ordering him around. 

These are kinds of posts who would make about Hollywood -keep in mind there was nothing before this post that make it understandable- I'm not exaggerating when I say this was typical: 

Nomie party

You did????? When? Was I annoyingly perky or in professional mode??

That’s freaking awesome. We must have lunch.

Didn’t post the ask cause that was too many details on that party. 😂😂 already been in trouble thanks.

Glad I’m not the only one that thought he is an ass.

Anonymous asked: (X)

When did you see them out? Details

Can’t really say where I was as it included what I was doing and with whom. But it was here after the first of the year

I already posted this but it bears repeating- she, like Abby, won’t give away all their secrets aka they won’t give specifics (X)

Anonymous asked: 

there is evidence of Wll and aash kissing in the clubbbb?!!!!!!!

That I can’t tell you. I know I’ve never taken a picture cause why would I? but I mean folks do snap pictures when folks are out and folks get things in background photos that people prefer not be seen publicly.

However I will say if you do some digging, there are a lot more cuddled up w/a pictures out there. One just needs to have the time and be invested enough to look.

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

[daddybugattibieber]

thread of justin bieber songs

Down to earth

-a bop

-showed emotional depth

-I dead ass cried when he cried in never say never 

-daddy issues

-that annoying mafia in the beginning

-woke king!

One less lonely girl

-showed these crusty boys how to take care of girl

-king of representation, used a black girl as the main girl

-went on to be a future racist song so definite mix feelings thought I should add it thought

-the bridge of this song was like no other

One time

-catchy and cute, made me have butterflies idk

-ryan has always been the only unproblematic white around him, ryan was a great influence

-the bridge was also amazing on this song

Baby

-i sung this in shower and I still know the rap

-i thought ludacris was so cool lol

-my bby drake

-jasmine villegas should have been his gf

Stuck in the moment

-my fuckin jam boi

-quality content 

-the literary comparisons really made me feel that song

-hella salty he never performed this anywhere

U smile

-this was hyped but the verses were iconic 

-definite temptations / mo-town vibes

-modern day my girl

-when he brought boyz 2 men on stage!!!!

Overboard

-best version is with jessica jarrel, the og version

-duets were never heard of in 2010 and he brought it back

-amazing and sensational

-sung this in the car when it rained

-wanted a music video so damn bad

Never let you go

-the video of the Paige, Za and Lil Twist lmfao

-justin bieber was woke for putting a black girl in his music video

-I used to think he was so hot when the wind was blowing on him when he was dancing on the rock

-he came thru and delivered us

Eenie meanie

-I’m a white boy from Canada

-never liked confederate beadles, like ever, that was for the white fans

-Sean Kingston was so popular during this time period

-I thought I was so cool cos I said hoe instead of bad chick

-reggae king! diversity

That should be me

-this never should have been country

-jackson five all the way

-song amazing start to finish

Never say never

-iconic

-history made

-jaden’s rap was too fire for a 12 a year old

-grammys performance was amazing and live

-song is muthafuckin bop

-king of positivity 

 Born to be somebody

-played at the credits of never say never

-literally a prophecy

Next to you

-is basically justin’s song

-was pissed he kissed that girl

-i wanted to have his children because of his verse

Christmas eve

-I don’t care what y’all say but this should have been the single

-this was the first time I wanted to fuck and succ him dry

-vocals, vibrator, falsetto, yes, he was talking about sex

-freak and kinky, definite roleplay

As long as you love me

-really came through for a bitch

-trademark slurring of words

-la la la la la la la la la

Boyfriend

-literally get wet at the falsetto

-the bridge makes the song and its a sample if you didn’t know

-the last chorus was so good

-na na na na na na na na na yeah man

-king of falsetto!

Die in your arms

-that should be me 2.0 

-jackson five vibe 

-solid proof he is really that bitch

Fall/ Thought of you

-good feel good songs

-justin was so far up [redacted]’s ass in love

-highkey bitter

-no offense but basically the same song

-catching feelings completes the trilogy

Beauty and the beat

-i hate this song [redacted] is mentioned in this song

-when nicki minaj grinded on justin !!!! body rock

-remember at the bet awards they had that skit “can you handle curves justin” “yes ....... i.......... can”

-wild 

Nothing like us

-love the song 

-rnbieber birthed

-but just break up already fool

I would

-song was basically rnb, needed a better bass 

-bridge should have been longer and it should have been like six i knows rather than just two

-so much potential

Love me like you do

-he spoke french when he ma cherie

-i wanted to fuck so bad

-i thought his dick was so big 

-i would have had sex to this song

Maria

-billie jean 

-a bop 

-lmao i really do think he fucked mariah yeater 

-and that one kid that looks like him at the ice cream shop explain that

-king of shade!

Heartbreaker

-the whole goddamn song a masterpiece

-bizzle era was born

-lived for this era

All that matters

-say my name/ aaliyah vibes

-great song

Hold tight

-justin might have a small pepe but he a freak

Recovery 

-a bop

-my baby didnt have to apologize to anyone 

-lyrics, song 10/10

PYD

-the beat never dropped

-but after this i wanted justin to nut in my pussy so i could drag it across the floor like a snail

Roller coaster

-this song was a smash

-michael jackson all the way

Change me

-THIS SONG WAS EVERYTHING

-adele who? exactly

-ballad bizzle wins everytime 

-he is literally an icon, no one was bringing back rnb like this

-bizzle delievered

Confident

-chanceeeeeeelor

-the dance was sexy

-the let me taki to you makes me cringe but i want to hump his leg more

-the pussy stache

-hoe justin!

Alone

-10x better than bad day and all bad

Flatline 

-sensational

-a bop

-this literally is the best way to go out the album because you fucking die afterwards

foreign remix

-iconic but he basically said he loved black girls

Playtime 

-makes me feel warm

-sexy bizzle

-creative bizzle for editing the music video

-khalil and za were the best friends ever

Lolly

-created netflix and chill

-i would suck dick any time

Time for bed

-STILL WAITING FOR THE COMPLETE SONG 

-makes my pussy tingle 

-justin proved he has a great stroke game

The intro

-sexy

-i thought he says black girls

-mulit-faceted

OTIS FREESTYLE

-proved everyone he was a rapper

-better than lil twist

-talented revolutionary

Hey girl/ Oh girl

-basically the same song but so good

I’ll be there

-nioce

Future

-love this shit, this bops

Maria im drunk

-love his verse

Bankroll

-u bitter while im counting money

-i love his voice

Why you mad

-his verse is so good

Deja vu

-wish he would get innapropriate in his songs

-im ready to get my panties soaked

I’m the one

-the switch up at the end where he says gyal

-wish he rapped on this

Mark my words

-bizzle rnbieber ballad

Company

-boppy rnb

-he so alone 

No sense/ No pressure

-love when he collabs with black people

-i wish justin had black in him

WAUN

-only piano version is stannable

Life is worth living again

-as much shit I give Justin, i really do love him and this right here made me cry and i never thought i be on that fuck shit but justin is literally someone who inspires me and i look up to him alot, he has affected me in ways he will never know so this song really took me there, cos i dont know what I would do with out his bitch ass.

Sorry

-wish there is a reggae version 

-black girls should have been dancing in the music video

We are/ Trust

-great rnb songs

-underrated 

Home to mama

-wish there was more to the song

-same as love yourself

-the mj inspired hiccup is the only thing good about the song

-cody simpon is a hell no

Juke Jam

- he really hate himself for only singing the chorus 

-like i really wish he would actually immerse his ass in a song

all his recent stuff

-bizzle would never do us like that and give us friends, cold water, or let me love you, he really wouldn’t so there’s that

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E5

Welcome back! In case you’re new, this is “Let me watch TV 4 U,” the blog where I watch TV so you don’t have to. I’ll be recapping Game of Thrones, Season 7 Episode 5 and SPOILERS ABOUND SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Tonight’s episode was titled “Eastwatch” but a more fitting title would have been “Don’t I know you from a few seasons ago?” If you’ve been following GoT for awhile, you might know that “unlikely alliances” is one of George R.R.R.R.R. Martin’s go-to-setups. He really gets off on taking 2 characters who are TOTAL OPPOSITES on paper and watching them learn to get along, just like the premise of all sitcoms. Well all of these unlikely pairs have been meeting, forming bonds, and saying goodbye for the past 7 seasons and NOW we’re apparently at the part where we have to watch them meet back up again. It kind of sounds like a kewl idea but idk about you, it just turns into a mess as a viewer because you have to remember how/when/where everyone met before. It’s like watching a livestream of a very tense high school reunion.

All that being said, some shit went DOWN tonight, so let’s go!

First of all, we get a new location on the map in the beginning, Eastwatch! If you’ll recall this is the place where Gingerbae (my fave wildling and #2 crush after Bae- Jon Snow) went to guard the wall at the behest of Bae a few eps ago.

Our first scene takes place right after last week’s epic dragon battle...

We learn that Jaime and Bronn are both still alive and we have to watch Jaime spit up seawater and I’m like who do you think you are, Euron Greyjoy?!? (lol that joke only works if you watched last season, sorry). Bronn is like dude, do you have a death wish? And Jaime is like kind of… cuz my sis Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) is a “shoot the messenger” type and now I have to tell her about all this dragon business.

Speaking of, we get some more hot-dragon-action (and I meant hot as in temp-wise, not sexual...yet...wait til Bae gets his fingers on a dragon). Tyrion is looking around at all the hell Khaleesi hath wrought and seems pretty sad about it. Remember he is a Lannister, so a lot of people who got burnt up were his home-bois.

He walks over to Khaleesi who has rounded up the surviving Lannisters and is looking FLY  AS HELL post-battle scene. Seriously, who does her hair? Probs a Dothraki cuz #goodatbraids. Khaleesi tells all the captured soldiers to kneel before her and declare loyalty to her or get killed. Sams mean dad (SMD) and Sam’s Bro Dickon (SBD) refuse to kneel because they’re #tooproudtobeg and Khaleesi is like, srsly guys? But they are truly #tooproud, so they both get burned up by the dragon, per Khaleesi’s orders. All of this is very not cool with Tyrion and he makes that pretty clear.

Next, we pop over to King’s Landing where Jaime is about to drop some #truth on QPC…

He tells her things are not looking so hot (or are they looking VERY HOT? Get it? Cuz dragons...sorry I’ll stop now) and that the Dothrakis (Khaleesi’s horse people) and dragons will kill them all. QPC suggests they hire mercenaries but Jaime is not feeling it. Then Jaime drops truth bomb #2 and tells QPC that he recently got the scoop that Grandma Tyrell admitted to killing their son Joffrey. See QPC was CONVINCED that Tyrion killed Joffrey which is what eventually led T to flock to #teamkhaleesi. Jaime is maybe able to convince her of this fact and that they might have to surrender to Khaleesi. She’s basically like well, damned if you do, damned if you don’t, ya know? The theme of this scene is TROUBLE IN PARADISE.

Now to the Bae-on-dragon action I promised…

Bae is waiting at the arrivals gate for Khaleesi and #1 dragon like a sad little chauffeur when Mr. Dragon lands right on his toes. Rather than giving Mr. Dragon a wide berth, he walks right up to him and TOUCHES HIS NOSE like he’s friggin’ Moana (Moana fans where you at?) Mr. D is like about to bite at first but then he’s like, naw, you’re cool. Probably because Bae is secretly a Targaryen and they’re all about dragons. Bae asks Khaleesi about her business trip and she’s like I TCOB’ed if that’s what you mean and says “sometimes strength is terrible” but that as leaders, they have to be strong.

Khaleesi then starts to ask Bae about the knife-in-the-heart comment that No-Knuckles (NK) made a few weeks ago and before Bae has to uncomfortably describe his weird Lazarus-situation to her, Stoney shows up, fresh off being cured of his stone disease by none other than Bae’s bestie Sam. The artist formerly known as Stoney (but let’s just keep calling him Stoney for now) is like will you still have me, Khaleesi? And she’s like DOI, OF COORS. And Bae is like oh I knew your dad he was a kewl dude he gave me this sword.

We get a brief interlude with everyone’s fave sooth-sayer, Brandon Stark! He hops into the eyeballs of some birds who fly North to get an update on the ice-zombie-army. As we all suspected, the ice zombies are CLOSER THAN EVER and headed to Eastwatch. This should not be a surprise because every time we check on them they’re just walking further South and unlike humans do not need to stop to eat or pee or get their hair intricately braided.

We pop into Oldtown, where Sam hears about Bran’s report. He tells all the other Maesters that they should listen to him but they, as always, are like naw this shit can’t be real. Also Maester-Jim-Broadbent is like BTW, Sam’s dad and bro just got burnt up but don’t say anything to him.

Back to Dragonstone…

Where  Tyrion and sleevey recap sam's dad and bro getting killed and agree that it was not cool, bro. Sleevey helpfully recalls a time when Khaleesi’s dad was always burning people alive. Sleevey reveals that Bae got a letter in the mail and yes, he did read it which is a FEDERAL OFFENSE, SLEEVEY! You can’t afford to go to prison!

Bae gets his hands on the letter from his bro Bran and learns A LOT. A. Bran is alive. B. Arya is alive. And C. The Night-King (leader of the ice zombies) is coming to Eastwatch. Again, this should be a surprise to no one. He talks things through with Khaleesi and co. to devise a plan and everyone has something to contribute, you guys! Here’s the plan

Tyrion will talk to his bro to try to convince him that ice zombies are real, who will then convince QPC.

NK will use his smugglin’ skills to smuggle T into King’s Landing (at this point it should really be Queen’s landing, right?)

Bae will head up north and capture an ice zombie to bring to everyone for proof. Stoney will use his battling skills to help with this.

Khaleesi is not about to let Bae go, though, probs cuz she wants more hot cave-action. But Bae is like sorry G2G!

Back in Winterfell and trouble is afoot!

Sansa is sitting at her in-charge-table and all the “Northern Lords” (although everyone’s fave 11-year-old-kween is nowhere to be seen) are still griping about Bae being down South with Khaleesi. Sansa doesn’t accept their offer to basically put her in charge, but she doesn’t defend Bae too much either. Arya, who was always besties with Bae when they were all kiddos, is not ok with that. She calls her out on it and notices that Sansa is staying in their mom and dad’s old room. She’s like ummm… you always liked nice things. Which is such a classic Winterfell-burn.

They chat and learn that they have very different views on uniting people and consolidating power. Arya is little more murder-y but Sansa is a little more scheme-y. Which better? IDK I haven’t read “The Art of War.” Basically, Arya knows that Sansa is still a bit power-hungry and calls her out on it. But I did read “Lean In” and I’m like, is that so bad?

Later, we pop back into King’s Landing where Arya is tailing Littlefinger cuz #shedontlikethelooksofthisguy, He’s being shady, as always, handing out poision, scheming with the Northern Lords, and then she sees the Maester give LF a piece of paper and she’s like oooohh I gotta get my hands on that. LF hides the paper in his room but, bitch, didn’t you know Arya is a trained assassin from the face-swapping-cult now?

She finds the paper which looks like this letter that Sansa wrote back in Season 1 when she was being forced by QPC. It’s basically her asking #teamStark to swear loyalty to Joffrey, all of which is irrelevant because most of Team Stark, along with Joffrey, is dead. Then we see LF behind the scenes looking all satisfied. Why you may ask? Well it seems like LF is trying to drive a wedge between the sisters by making Arya distrust Sansa even more. IDK I don’t condone violence but I really just want someone to stab LF.

Back to team Khaleesi, Tyrion and NK roll up on Queen’s Landing…

Tyrion reminds us all that the last time he was here, he killed his dad. NK is like well the last time I was here, you killed my son! You’d think there would be some sort of resolution with that but nope, NK was just throwing it out there! Tyrion heads off to see his bro and NK heads off on a secret mission that IS VERY CUTE, just wait and see.

Bronn sets up a meeting between Tyrion and Jaime, who haven’t seen each other since Jaime saved Tyrion from getting killed (per QPC and their dad’s orders). T proceeded to shoot their dad to death on the toilet, so Jaime is understandably a little peeved. Tyrion explains why he came and asks if Jaime could ask QPC if she might possibly be into checking out an ice zombie if they can get one. Jaime is still peeved but considers this helpful offer.

Meanwhile, we get a reunion of 2 of our faves, NK and Gendry!!!! So non-GoT-watchers, Gendry is this dude who is secretly the son of Robert Baratheon, QPC’s ex-hubby and the former king. Only a few ppl knew this, and to protect him from QPC, he got sent North to the wall with Arya. He and Arya developed a cute lil’ friendship and then he met up with some Lord-of-Light (LOL) worshippers, the same ones who the Hound (remember from ep 1 of this season) is now traveling with. Then the red witch lady came and took him to Stannis to have leeches eat his blood but before the red witch could kill him, NK set him free and sent him on a rowboat back to King’s Landing. So here we are…

They reunite and it’s adorbs, since Gendry is like thanks for saving my life, you were right I ended up being safe here. And NK is like oh good, so I have a favor to ask, will you come with us? It’s for- and before he can finish Gendry is like NP my bags are packed let’s go. And NK is like do you want more info...or… and Gendry is like nope this place is the pits, let’s go, lemme get my hammer. And I AM FEELING THIS HAMMER y’all, Gendry is basically Thor of GoT now. And he shall henceforth be known as New-Thor.

NK and New-Thor head to the boat to leave Queen’s Landing and encounter some guards who aren’t gonna let them off that easy. Just when they bribe their way out of there, Tyrion shows up and the guards are like...you look familiar? So New-Thor kindly uses his hammer and demolishes those dudes, leaving T and NK both stunned and impressed.

While we’re still at Queen’s Landing, we see Jaime knocking on QPC’s door, but she’s busy with Maester Qyburn, having some deep discussion. We also learn Qyburn is the hand-of-the-queen (did we know this before? It was news to me). Jaime is like what we’re y’all talking about, and QPC is like I’m sorry, HIPAA, I can’t tell you. Then she tells him that she knows he met with Tyrion and that he should punish Bronn for setting that up. She also hints that she’s willing to do a collab with Khaleesi but then she’s like “we will defeat whatever stands in our way” which doesn’t sound very collab-y to me.

Then, in a major reversal, SHE DROPS A TRUTH BOMB ON HIM and tells him she’s PREGNANT and the baby is HIS. He is shook but also very happy because he loves her a lot. He’s like who you gonna say knocked you up? And she’s like it’s 2017, bitch, I’ll say it was my twin bro cuz #hatersgonnahate. Do we believe she is really preggo? I do not. Classic desperation move when you see your man starting to slip away. But nonetheless he is happy about it so there’s that.

Next, we head back to Dragonstone...

Where Bae meets New-Thor in Bae’s fave place, a cave! They reminisce about how their dads were friends and New-Thor calls out Bae on being a little shorty-pie. We think Bae is gonna be like “ah hell naw” but instead he’s like LOL you’re right bro. New-Thor offers to head North with Bae to kill some ice-zombies with his hammer. NK is a little peeved because he told New-Thor not to tell anyone who his dad was and not to get himself into trouble. NK’s like well don’t mind me, I only lived to be an old man so what do I know about surviving? It’s a very cute scene and it all plays out like a dad playfully chastising his sons for picking a college that’s too far away.

On the shore we get some goodbyes. Tyrion and Khaleesi both say goodbye to Stoney and Khaleesi is especially sappy about it. Then she says goodbye to Bae, who is busy loading up his boats with zombie-killing-rocks from the caves. She’s like, so…I’ll call you next week? And Bae’s like umm….maybe? But you know they’re both fighting the urge to pop into a cave for a quick makeout sesh.

Next, we see Sam and Gilly in Oldtown reading books…

Gilly happens upon the MOST IMPORTANT INFO EVER in a book, which Sam, in a very-un-Sam-like way, completely ignores. It’s infuriating. Basically she finds out that Bae’s real parents, Rhaegar Targaryen (Khaleesi’s bro) and Lyanna Stark (Daddy Stark’s sis) were legit married when she had Bae, which means he is the ONE-TRUE-HEIR to the iron throne or whatevs. Sam, however, is too peeved about the Maesters not listening to him (or Bran for that matter) and gathers up some of the best books in the library (and he is in for the late fee OF A CENTURY cuz you know he won’t return ‘em) and heads out of there.  It’s a frustrating scene. I just..can’t...

Finally, we make it to Eastwatch...

Where we get to check in with Gingerbae my #2 boo. Bae tells him the plan to trap the ice zombie and bring it back as proof and Gingerbae is like you are cuckoo. NK is there to confirm that yes, Bae is cuckoo, and no, he’s not going North with them. But on the docket we do have New-Thor with his hammer and Stoney with his un-stoned-hands and arms to help! Gingerbae is like well I know some other dudes who want to get up there...cut to…

The Hound and his LOL-ers Eyepatch and Gingerbun (am I the only one who finds Gingerbun kind of attractive?) are in Eastwatch-prison, doing a very poor version of Cellblock Tango from Chicago, the musical. This is the scene where the whole-don’t-I-know-you-from-somewhere gets really messy. No need to dive into all of it, the point is, these people have HISTORY with eachother. But Bae reminds them that since they’re all humans and not zombies, they’re on the same side. So they head out into the deep, cold, winter to trap and ice zombie. And we’re left there.

Let’s recap:

Biggest surprise this ep: QPC IS PREGNANT?!?!?!

Biggest letdown: Seriously Sam. You could not listen to the most important news ever because you were distracted?

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi lookin’ so fly fresh out of battle, Sansa is really rocking those fitted armor gowns

Who died this ep? Sam’s Bro Dickon (RIP) and Sam’s Mean Dad 

Thanks for reading! Tell your friends and subscribe!? 

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 13: “I Feel Like It’s Time for a Classic Blindside” - Mitch

okay so mo went home and im sad because he is my SON and I LOVE HIM. On a game level, sepearating Jones/Mo was crucial, but Mo was a goat, and Julia and Mo going back to back is bad news.

It kind of limits my options moving forwards, since I know I can't go to the end with Jones/Mitch, and don't think I can go to the end with Jason. I thought Tom would be a goat for literally self voting twice, but Jones is selling him like some big threat?

Anywho that means F3 has to be Me/Caeleb/Benj, which honestly... is all good in my back, they are my two faves on the tribe, so I'm down to clown with that.

also me clocking that caeleb is matt who won kuwait's boyfriend, i truly am the second coming of nancy drew

okay so morning after last night's tribal. i don't regret any decisions i made, but i am a little concerned about the narrow path I now have to FTC.

I feel like I'm playing a good game, and a game better than those that I have played in the past. However, I'm also not delusional, and I know how big of a threat Jones/Mitch/Jason are at FTC, and while I don't think Tom should be a threat, apparently he is too.

What that means, is I have to angle for a F3 of Me, Caeleb and Benj. I think its do-able, but its going to be tricky.

The best way I see it happening is next vote, siding with Caeleb/Jones to vote off Jason, so that the two 'pairs' are attacked with equal force. Its definitely risky, since it means I'll be very vulnerable, but HOPEFULLY the following round I can swing it back and get Jones out.

That would then leave a F5 (which oh my GOD final five already got to SCREAM), of Me/Mitch/Caeleb/Tom/Benj. I think I would then unfortunately need to take out Mitch at F5, because he is scary scary, and I think would be such a deserving winner. That leaves a F4 of Me, Benj, Caeleb and Tom which I think is probably best case scenario, where I would vote off Tom most likely, leaving the F3 as me, Benj and Caeleb. If its a F2, I go to the end with Benj.

I think its definitely a work-able and do-able plan, its just important to get all the stages right. Thinking about it, it could be worth swapping Jason and Tom on the plan. I think Jason is more of a threat personally, but perception is reality, and if Jones is saying Tom is a threat, I can't be seen walking to the end with him.

So... I'm cautiously optimistic. I think I'm playing a strong game, I still have TWO idols, and am on track to keeping on pushing on.

If I'm voted off at seventh place, the order I would vote for the remaining players at FTC:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Caeleb > Benj > Tom

I knew that this could happen, and I was trying so hard to keep Mo around. I told Grandma's boys that we should vote Mitch, they said no. And then Benj let me know he was voting Mo, and since Ali and Mitch weren't responding to me anymore, I knew they were going to vote Mo instead. I told Jones to play her idol on Mo but she didn't do that either. Overall, I am sad. Because I let them tell me how I should play that round but I should've been confident in A) my gameplay and what I wanted to do, and B) my understanding of the roles in this game and who I felt was talking to who. If the last vote showed me anything it showed me that:

I have a pretty good understanding of who is running this game (Mitch and Benj)

Jones is playing a really good social game but she isn't ready to make big moves yet, or she doesn't understand which moves we should make.

Jones and I are in this together. We have to by default because I know about her idol, but also with pairs popping up everywhere its safer to have a voting buddy. Plus Jones is cool so like I could be stuck with someone I didn't like and for that I'm lucky.

Lastly, I need to be confident. I have played well, but I've lost momentum. I had it with the Alex vote, and it waned but I had it in the Jules vote. I was exposed and lost it in the Julia vote, and I was completely left out of the picture in the Mo vote. I need to regain this momentum. I know I like always make a fool of myself with my confessionals hehe because I always say I want something to happen but it never ends up happening. That's largely because so many people have their own agendas, dictating the vote is not my style. Being flexible as F*** for sure is. BUT, I will hopefully get my way next tribal. I am planning on using Jones, Me, Ali and Jason to vote Mitch. I am starting to sow the seeds in Jason and Ali, because Mitch has clearly played the best so far. He has ALWAYS voted right, and been the deciding vote for Jules, Alex, and Mo. Yet he also never was cursed. He'll win, and its my mission to vote him next. But don't keep me on my word because HELL knows things are gonna hit the fan anyways.

also i have to confess this because its funny and i will forget otherwise, but on the call before last tribal, i said tom is too straight for me to be able to work with him long term in my host chat, because he kept saying bro and chick.

LITERALLY, and I mean LITERALLY, 5 seconds later, he shows us this picture and asks us "how fake this chick's boobs are". I am NOT going to be a straight enabler, straight pride can WAIT, this is not gonna keep happening.

With that said, I wanna go F3 with Tom probably KSADF, or no maybe F4. I definitely know Jason, Mitch and Jones need to leave sooner rather than later, and I will then figure it out from there eeeek!

also LOVE MR CAELEB, LOVE him. BUT.

I would've had a 38 POINT WORD, if he didn't snatch that Z from me, he ROBBED me of quizzical, and now he can spell frazzled which ties my current best word. EEEEEK.

okay me making fun of tom for having a sheet when i have the same... love being a crackhead...

also me getting SO pressed about Caeleb winning immunity for 0.5 seconds, before realising I didn't want to vote him out anyway, and that him winning is like... fine.

I made this this morning:

I hate everyone KSKSKSKSKKS i want to just do something for myself so bad Bc I feel like such a follower and I wanna just die all the time but like ????? The last 12 times I try to plan moves it backfires so I just need like,,, to breathe a bit.idk??? I don’t even know if I want BENJ in the F2 with me like I said,,, anyways,,,

Best F3 scenario: me/Tom/benj

Best F2 scenario: me/literally one of those two men,,,, maybe preferably Tom? Like no offense to Tom but idt anytime on jury likes Tom rn JSJSJSJS but ya time to die and lose in immunity UwU

I WON IMMUNITY AHHH. It means I'm guaranteed a spot in the final six, and assuming I play my idols right, F5 and then F4. I'm potentially... one round from FTC, this is CRAZY.

This round is gonna be interesting, it needs to be one of Jones, Jason or Mitch for sure, I just need to angle it so that its definitely the right one. I am immune, and can use that safety to lead a vote... whatever happens i'm so EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

quasiconvexity carried me through

So the game has been going well! I wanted Mo to go at F9 cuz we just didn’t have as good of connection as I do with others but that got overshadowed by Julia blowing up but we made it happen this round me Mitch and Ali wow the votes actually fell 3-3-2 exactly like we planned.

Literally 4 votes in a row now the exposed people voted wrong LOL. Anyways next up to go is Jason, we have worked together well for a few votes but him and Tom are a duo who have to be broken up now that Mo/Jones are broken. Jason has more chance to win so its got to be him.

Jones covered my vote hehe so it should go as planned we hope but idk itll prob be ruined like stuff usually is. It should be me jones mitch caeleb voting him, tom and Jason will I guess vote jones or someone, ali can vote whoever it doesn’t matter

Me and Ali have realised the Sapphire idol is more of a curse than helpful LOL so hopefully we don’t ever have to use it. We have also decided that we want to go to F4 w Tom and Caeleb, I LOVE Jones and Mitch so much but they are the biggest threats. But I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone teams up against me and Ali and realise we have lowkey been shaping the course of the game since F11 hehe.

This is one of my favourite orgs ever and Ali is one of my favourite allies ever! Ali when u see this thank u for putting up w my being cracked and listening to all my scheming and plans u make this game sm fun so just thank u sm.

Everyone left in the game are also such good people ugh it sucks to have to vote them at some point :// The hosts went off w casting…

So ya moving forward me and Ali’s goal is to make F5 and have one of us win immunity and idol the other w Budva idol and not even use the Sapphire bc apparently if its like a 3-1-1 vote they are all immune which is too scary we cant cirie ourselves out!!

Gosh I sounded so cocky just then huh... I rlly am always looking out and worried about being blindsided aswell eeeek

I PROB WILL BE!

I just have so much hope for benjali duo ;-;

okay so this vote... it needs to be one of Jones, Mitch and Jason. I've heard from Benj that there is a plan to vote Jason, of Mitch/Benj/Jones/Caeleb, here is the problem tho... I'm down with Jason going, but if I hop on to this plan, I'm just an add on and its not a move I can claim at an FTC resume.

So, I have to plan an alternative, and its either gonna be Me/Jason/Tom/Caeleb vote Mitch, or Me/Jason/Tom/Mitch vote Jones. I am leaning towards voting Jones right now, because like... she just told me she has heard nothing for the vote, when I know she is plotting and has sorted a plan to get Jason out. She clearly doesn't trust me, we've voted separately at basically every single tribal and she is a mega threat in the end.

I think I could convince Mitch to vote her, and it also detaches Caeleb, and it means he is stuck with me, which is good, since I'll need him to vote Jason potentially next round. Its tough because I want all three of Mitch/Jason/Jones out asap... hnnngh.

So I have the opportunity to make a game changing move. Im almost certain I know who has the idol and i REALLY want the person out this round. Right now they are breezing by without being targeted a single time and I feel like its time for a classic blindside. The problem is, right now that specific person is not being targeted. The risk of telling the people who are being targeted that they are the target is astronomical but if it works it just might send the person who I want gone out. It's a risky plan that I don't know if it will work or not.

okay so I think I may have already confessed this, but loving having ZERO memory. Okay so Jones is going tonight, she is definitely a major threat, has access to jury votes I couldn't even dream of getting and is SUCH an FTC risk.

I think this vote works, because then... next round we can get Mitch. I can solidify something with Caeleb and Benj, and we can then agree to get Jason at F5, that's... such smooth sailing to FTC. I'm excited.

I love voting with Mitch/Jason for a vote, and then... voting against them in literally the two votes after, loving being a mess.

[fightingdiamond]

KCON LA 2017 fanaccount!!

part 2: more Seventeen + the concert, ft. SF9, VIXX, and D&E :)

(disclaimer: none of the videos linked in this post are mine, credit to their respective owners!)

I was on twitter looking at (other people's) pictures from hi-touch and I realized I don't remember touching Seventeen's rings??? Lol it's a weird detail, idk. Maybe the angle of my hand wouldn't have put me in contact with their rings anyway, but I don't remember feeling the rings. Oh well 😂

Also this is super random, but I took a class spring quarter on learning and memory and this hi-touch experience has been just a perfect real-world example of how human memory is so fickle 😂😂😂 I was looking back at the videos I filmed of myself talking to my sister after the hi-touch and there’s some stuff in there (ex. I said that I remembered looking at Seokmin, Mingyu, and Seungkwan’s faces) that for the life of me I cannot recall now 😂😂😂 that’s how the brain works I guess lol

Anyway, some more things from the Seventeen session and then the concert!

-Seungkwan was asked to sing his favorite pop song and he sang an Adele song (When We Were Young I think). I was LIVING! I love that boy's voice and I'm so glad I got to hear it.

-Vernon rapped a bit and it was so hype!! Omg but before he started rapping, he and Seungkwan just kinda looked at each other for a few seconds like they were giving each other support or something?????? Idk but it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, I love verkwan ❤️❤️❤️

-BUT THEN WONWOO SANG TOO AND I LOST IT oh my god. His voice is so good, I was in heaven. What I wouldn't give for a Wonwoo solo debut 😍😍😍

-they were asked who the mom and dad of the group are and Mingyu was like (of course) Coups hyung and Jeonghan hyung!!! And Coups pulled Jeonghan in for a very cute hug but I'm laughing because I'm pretty sure Jihoon had a look of mild disgust on his face 😂😂😂 the eternal jeongcheol vs jicheol struggle, y'all 😄

-Seokmin got carried away and threw the die at the crowd like it was a concert and I think it may have almost hit a staff or something 😂 he was so flustered! He kept bowing and apologizing, it was so funny 😅

-Jeonghan was asked to do aegyo. You can imagine how that ended 😂 I cringed so hard but I also felt so much love for him in the same instant. It's a unique experience 😂

-MINGYU WAS FORCED TO DO A SEXY DANCE I'M STILL SCREAMING/CRYING/LAUGHING. He's so shy and bashful, oh my god, he's so precious 😍 I can't remember if this was before or after he rolled the die, but his face was so priceless when the members ruthlessly pushed him out to the front. He was like W H A T WHY ME????? I love Kim Mingyu, my overgrown human puppy 😍 also though I'm shook because whenever Mingyu dances, it just gives me flashbacks to when Kai from EXO was my ultimate bias 😂 they're so similar!!! But this isn't the place to talk about Kai haha. Mingyu was adorable! He was doing bodyrolls really shyly, almost resignedly lmao, and every few seconds he'd straighten up and shake his head and beg for mercy with his puppy eyes. Seungkwan stepped up partway through and put his hands on Mingyu's abs and was like HERE, YOU HAVE TO MOVE THIS PART 😂😂😂 I was like, Seungkwan, let your hyung live!!! Lmao. (Altho Seungkwan's actually 97 line because his birthday is early? Anyway.) I also noticed Wonwoo laughing his fkin ass off at Mingyu's misfortune. What a terrible boyfriend (kidding!!!) 😂 (tbh I probably ship gyuhao more now, Minghao already wrecked my bias list anyway, what's another wrecked list)

-before the game, Jihoon was asked to give advice to fans who are thinking about pursuing music/music production. It was really sweet! He basically said, "A lot of people think it's really hard to start making music, but just keep working on it, don't give up, and make lots of songs that you can show the world."

Okayyy now on to the concert! I actually bought two support banners (Seventeen and VIXX) but since I was sitting pretty far back, I'm pretty sure they didn't see me 😂 that's ok, I heard Seungkwan saw the banner that some of the floor people were holding up so at least he saw it! Also I didn't have a light stick (only a small glow stick) because I'm silly - next time, I swear!

They brought Coups, Vernon, and Joshua out as special MCs and I lost it omg. Minghao may have stolen my heart but Coups is still the captain of this frickin' ship! I love him 😌 Mingyu also came out later as an MC (replacing Coups). I was looking at him during one of his MC parts and like wooooow he is TALL. His legs are literally miles long, it's breathtaking.

I think Hansol made the biggest impression on me out of the four of them; he was so beautiful and did a really good job of making his lines sound smooth and not scripted. That boy was born for show business, I swear. (As an aside, Jisoo's English sounds super sarcastic to me????? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 idk maybe I'm just not used to him speaking English unless it's some meme-worthy occasion. Or it's his valley accent?? No idea haha, but he drawls his words a lot and it's really amusing to listen to.) Hansol also frequently went off script to say sweet things (and correct the script's lackluster choice of words on at least one occasion, lmao). Like, there was a part where they wanted to get the audience to kinda do a random play dance, and the script was like "let's stretch first, stretch your arms and legs" and Vernon added "you can't get injured and stuff!!" He was so sweet 😍

Speaking of the script, during SF9's talking portion (they opened the show), I was looking for the teleprompters but didn't see them until later. At first I was like "wow, their English is really good!" but then I was like, wait, is there a teleprompter? Lol. As the show went on I suspected there was a script, because there were subtitles on the big screen at the same time as (sometimes even before) idols were talking and I was like, ok, translation technology ain't THAT good. The point I'm tryna make in the end is that a) that's how I know Hansol was going off script and b) Seventeen - who closed the concert btw, what gods - barely had a script. It was just really free-flowing and genuine and they were interacting with the audience and it was amazing. You could tell they loved being with all the fans and they really commanded the stage and made it super fun. Seventeen are literal gods, when will your faves. (No hard feelings please!! Lmao it's all in good fun!)

Anyway back to the show lol. I love SF9 and they deserve the world omg. They're SUCH good performers; their choreo is amazing and their songs are great!! Their energy on the stage is incredible, even when they were just talking, and everyone should Iove them 😍 they performed Fanfare, Jungle Game(?), and Easy Love. Their English is seriously really good, even considering the teleprompter! It didn't sound like they were just reading off a script at all; idk the word for it in English but the way their sentences flowed was very authentic and I know they must have tried really hard to practice their lines for their American fans. Everyone please stan SF9 😍

I'm really sorry but I'm gonna gloss over Cosmic Girls and Girl's Day - I'm not into either of them but of course they did really well! Girl's Day really owned the stage with I'll Be Yours, Something, and Ring Ma Bell. Some of the girls in Cosmic Girls seemed a bit tired, so props to them for still pulling off a great performance with Happy, I Wish(?), and Secret!

Now, Cosmic Girls' cover of BTS' I Need U is the kinda content I'm here for!!! I don't like Cosmic Girls' usual cutesy concept because it attracts some really creepy fanboys and I feel that it doesn't show off their real talent, so it was really refreshing to see them killing a guy group dance. I think Cheng Xiao did a flip! I'm assuming it was her 😅

SF9 covered Sorry Sorry after them and then it transitioned seamlessly into Super Junior D&E - great planning, y'all 😏 the atmosphere in the audience was so hype!! They were flashing Super Junior's stats on the big screen and it was so easy to forget that I'm not even into Super Junior anymore 😂 I'm still disappointed with the members who have been unapologetically and/or repeatedly problematic (and smh @ Eunhyuk's dreads at the concert, but ya can't spell smh without SM I guess), but I can't help but feel proud of Super Junior for being responsible for kpop's initial surge of international popularity 😊

Fun fact, I went to SMTOWN NYC 2011 and saw Super Junior there. It's really amazing that Donghae and Eunhyuk are still so active in the industry, five and a half years later! Both of them, but especially Donghae, came onto the stage like they owned the goddamn place. I'm blown away by how handsome Donghae still is! He's aged a bit since I last saw him, for sure, but it's a great look on him. He's so handsome, oh my god. The two of them did Growing Pains, I Wanna Dance (Korean version, which I didn't know existed), another song from their album I think, and the classic Oppa Oppa. It was lit 🔥 they were so sweet too, they kept apologizing for "taking so long to see you again" and thanking the fans for waiting 😭 I'm not crying, you're crying!

VIXX was so powerful! I'm glad they didn't perform Dynamite LOL no offense but that's my least favorite of their title songs 😂 they did Shangri-La, Black Out, and Fantasy! Jaehwan was so loud holy heck lol. He's basically Seokmin in five years, I swear. (Speaking of which, I can totally see D&E being soonseok in ten years 😍) I got so excited when Hyuk sang too! I still remember when he was an awkward smol 😌 but Hakyeon will always have my heart ❤️ there was a part in Shangri-La where he was supposed to be serious but couldn't hold back a smile, so he covered his face with his fan 😂 it was the cutest freaking thing 😍

They did a "piñata" game where a random mission popped up on the screen (the choices were aegyo, photo time, sexy dance, random play, and proposal). They saw the proposal choice and started joking about it - I laughed so hard when Hyuk threw himself on his knees and was like N, MARRY ME! And Hakyeon was like SURE! 😂 his English was so freaking sexy 😂

oKaY and now for the moment we've all been waiting for......say the name (SEVENTEEN)! 😍

They made their first appearance with unit performances and I was like OH MY GOD MINGHAO WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT!!!! In the video that they did for KCON previously, they were ~speculating~ about what special performances they would do, and Minghao was all like, well, we do have three units 😏 so proud of my boy for tellin' it like it is!!!

Performance unit came on with Swimming Fool and I screamed so loudly omg. I've been waiting to see this choreo since forever!! And as a newly reborn Minghao bias I was living for every second he appeared on the big screen 😍😍😍😍 I was a little sad though because Hoshi's been showing off this choreo at fansigns for MONTHS and I just know he's been so eager to perform it, but he couldn't make it 😭 It was also compounded during the parts where the other three blatantly left Soonyoung's spot empty. Like, ok, there's a hole in the choreo, I guess there's a hole in my heart too now. This is fine.

But before we go down the rabbit hole of "I miss Soonyoung so much I'm gonna cry" VOCAL UNIT KILLED ME. Habit is literally my favorite vocal unit song, second only to We Gonna Make It Shine but Jesus, there's no way I'm ever gonna hear that live unless I make it to a Seventeen concert (GOD, I hope they still perform that song in later tours). Joshua and Jihoon and Jeonghan all sounded so angelic and pure and then I literally burst into tears when the chorus hit - that's a huge compliment coming from me, I never cry. Seungkwan my baby boo 😍 and then Seokmin too, omg. I love vocal unit 😍

Then vocal unit left and I was like oh no. OH NO. HIP HOP UNIT. I was actually expecting If I but then it was Check In and I was shook! They showed up in the middle of the audience too and I think I literally would've died if I had been near them. I love hip hop unit 😍 also - and I say this like I'm surprised, and I honestly kind of am, and I really shouldn't be but - Wonwoo is so. hot. Holy shit man, like I always thought Mingyu was the (slightly) better-looking out of the two of them but holy shit, Wonwoo's stage presence is unbelievable. I was halfway across the stadium and I could feel his charisma. Believe me, I don't throw around the word "hot" lightly. Wonwoo had me seriously shook. He's so hot. I can't believe middle school Wonwoo blossomed into this gorgeous, brilliant performer. True art right there. He was also really smiley when he wasn't busy being hot and I was living for it omg. I love Wonwoo's smile so much and I hadn't seen enough of it lately 😍😍

As the concert went on I was confused as to whether Seventeen was gonna come back and perform as a whole group or not because everyone else had been doing 3-4 songs and I was like "was that Seventeen's three songs??? Nooooo" but then it turns out they were closing the concert!!!!!!! Seventeen are gods I tell you, literal gods 🙌🏽

Oh my god, the fanchants were so loud and I've never been prouder to be part of a fandom. As we were waiting for Seventeen to come on, they were playing this heartbeat sound over and over and in the silence between heartbeats people started chanting SEVENTEEN! SEVENTEEN! I got chills 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I hope our boys heard us!!!!! (Click here to see it!!!!!!!)

As an aside, somewhere around the unit performances I noticed that a lot of the idols weren't singing live. The rappers had the big handheld mics which are supposedly better for actual live sound, whereas most of the other idols had the small mics taped to their cheeks. I mean, clearly I'm pointing this out because I, as a singer, appreciate it when people sing live, but I understand that this is a concert and the focus is more on the performance overall (i.e. the dancing and energy). I still really enjoyed everyone's performances of course!

HOWEVER! Seventeen was an exception, as usual! Not only did they freakin' kill their whole set and get the audience really hyped, almost all of them had the handheld mics and even those who didn't, I'm pretty sure they also sang live (lookin' at you, Chan and Hansol. I love it when my babies sing 😍). Also, shoutout to performance unit for singing live AND dancing like woooow, step aside vocal unit! 😅 I've said this so many times already but I'll say it again: Seventeen are LITERAL gods. I couldn't be prouder of my boys ❤️

Lol I also remember that everyone was speculating about what songs they were gonna do and there were so many names being thrown out, but between the special unit performances and the group set, I think Seventeen managed to surprise us all! As expected of our boys 😍 They came on with Don't Wanna Cry first, of course, including the cool extended intro that I love! Seokmin got Soonyoung's line and I screamed omg. I miss Soonyoung 😭

After Don't Wanna Cry the lights dimmed but I could see them getting into their next formation. When I recognized the pinwheel formation I LOST IT oh my god. ROCK!!!!!!!!!! Rock is one of my favorite songs and I'm so glad I got to see it live. I bet you they chose to do Rock because of the 360 stage. Seventeen back at it again with how considerate they always are to their fans ❤️ I wanna say Chan got Hoshi's lines? I'm not entirely sure but of course, the performance was amazing! I felt a twinge in my heart at the hole in the choreo where Soonyoung should've been but that's ok 😭

(I feel that it should be noted at this point that Soonyoung is N O W H E R E near the top of my bias list?????? lolololol I love and miss him so much though 😅)

Hearing all of them speak English during their talking portion was so nice. Everyone's English is so good! Mingyu especially had me shook because his English always goes from 0-100 REAL FAST. Seungkwan was so excited!!!!! I love seeing Seungkwan on stage, he's totally in his element there and he's a master at hyping the audience. Also Seokmin was loud af lmao whaddya expect 😂

Speaking of being considerate, Seventeen actually surprised me by greeting both sides of the audience! They did their "say the name! Seventeen!" greeting to my half of the audience first (the diamond/platinum/P1 side), but then they freaking TURNED AROUND and repeated their greeting to the other half of the audience! It doesn't sound like a big deal but no one else even did that! They're so sweet, I love my boys ❤️❤️❤️

They also did the piñata game and got random play, so they were just jamming out to the songs that came on. It was really cute! Mingyu and Minghao were in the corner farthest from me just off in their own little world 😍 I love gyuhao, they're so sweet with each other 😍 Mansae came on in the random play too and it was so amazing watching everyone do the dance with them!!! (Click here to see it!!!!)

Ah also I just remembered! At the very beginning they had all the groups come on stage to wave at the fans and stuff. Seventeen came on and were waving at the fans and then they were supposed to walk to the other side but I guess performance unit missed the memo??? LOL it was so cute! Vocal and hip hop units were starting to walk to the other side and performance unit was looking around all confused before Minghao grabbed Chan and dragged him along as they followed the rest of the group. Later it looked like Minghao was saying something to Jun too, almost like he was nagging him, I was living 😍 I love performance unit! Also during that part Jihoon and Seungcheol were standing next to each other and I for sure saw #interaction 😏 I need more jicheol appreciation in my life ok?

Speaking of my boys getting lost, Vernon, Josh, and Coups did the same thing 😂 after their first MC portion finished the lights went down but I could see them still standing there like uh......where do we go......they were so desperately trying to play it cool 😂😂😂 and then Vernon, I think(?), started walking to one side, before they all realized they were supposed to be going to the opposite side and scurried off 😂 such cuties!

Before their talking portion ended the staff gave them those like, air cannon things stuffed with shirts so they could shoot them at the audience. Mingyu couldn't figure out how to work the thing at first, I cackled so hard (but also me too, Mingyunie, me too). Minghao also had one and he looked way too attractive with it, it was unfair 😳 Afterward when all the shirts were gone and the members reconvened, Seungkwan shouted really urgently "no one got hurt, right???" in Korean and Hansol repeated it in English 😍 I was so touched! It was obviously something that Seungkwan really really felt the need to ask, it sounded like it just burst out of him before he could contain it. He'd been speaking a lot of English up until that point and it was so sweet that he couldn't let himself wait to try to think of the words in English ❤️

As their talking wrapped up they were joking around about their next song, someone (maybe Seokmin? I don't remember) suggested Boom Boom but Vernon was like nahhhh. And Mingyu suggested Adore U and the fans did the point dance along with him! And then Seungkwan, I think(?), was like, "ah, we can't reveal it, but you know, our fans are VERY NICE" and I died 😂😂😂 Jisoo was all fondly exasperated and said, ok, you guys know what our next song is, don't you? 😂😂😂

Seungkwan was hyping the audience like he always does and shouted, "are you ready?!?!?" and the audience screamed! But then Minghao stepped up with this tiny smirk and was like, "one more time, are you ready?!?" I felt so blessed to hear him being so playful in English.

I had a split second of mourning over the fact that I wasn't gonna see Pretty U live but oh my god, Aju Nice was THE BEST choice for closing out the concert. I kind of wanted to cry at how much I loved seeing them perform the song but I was also so excited to see it!!! The Chinaline part had me swooning, I love how Minghao always smirks and gestures to Jun like he's reeling in his catch and I'm like yassss boi get it!!!! I'm so blessed I got to see that interaction with my own eyes. Woozi's part was so pure, I felt cleansed hearing him sing 😌 but I saw both Wonwoo and Seungcheol coming up behind him for their rap part and I was SO HYPED because I always watch the Aju Nice lives from when they were promoting it and Wonwoo wasn't there! I'm sad that Soonyoung wasn't there this time but at least Wonwoo was! 

Oh my god, and the part where Seungcheol switches his mic to his other hand just so he can hold Jihoon's hand during the double-line part at the end??? I saw it with my own eyes 😍

The camera focused on Jun for like a full five seconds at the end and I was like DAMN RIGHT! I hope Jun watches this video later and is satisfied with himself  😌

Afterward they brought out all the groups again to wave bye to the fans 😭 Jihoon showed up on the big screen and he was practically glowing, he was smiling and happy and radiant 😍 remember how I said he looked tired at the hi-touch? I hope he got some energy from performing and that the concert and seeing his fans made this hectic trip worth it!!! Lol I also saw them running around with a camera and I was like, this is going into Going Seventeen a few episodes from now, right? 😂

So yeah, the concert had me hella shook!!! I was so hyped that I totally even forgot that Seventeen hadn't done ANY of the songs I was hoping for LOLOLOL I really wanted them to do Pretty U, Shining Diamond, and Love Letter! But it's ok, they were great anyway 😍 I also feel like I remember some butt-touching happening???? I wanna say it was Mingyu but I don’t remember???? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I also forgot my earplugs lol I was afraid I was gonna go deaf halfway through but I'm fine now 😂 one of the people I went to LA with decided right after the concert that he was gonna find a ticket to Sunday's concert too because it was just so lit! I wish I could've, I really wanted to see Astro live, but I had work on Monday and I couldn't stay 😭

There will be a part 3 about seeing Astro!!! Please anticipate!

[junkcrs]

GIMMIE ALL THE ANSWERS MY DUDE

Oh fuck off LMAO

1. Who is your defense main?Mei?? Junkrat??? I definitely have more hours on Junkrat lmao, but if we’re playing comp y’know I’m all about that gold gun Mei

2. Who is your support main?Imma go with Lucio, even though I play every healers at least decently, he’s my top played boy at what... 110 hours? from a flex players that’s a lot yknow

3. Who is your offense main?No thanks, I don’t have that much fun with DPS man, Pharah or Soldier are my best ones bc ez tbh LMAO

4. Who is your tank main?Trick question, all of them. I have the gold hammer but who doesn’t. Playing a shit ton of Winston too, have an impressive amount of hours on DVA and I am (was?? lmao) a solid hog. I play Zarya out of necessity in comp sometimes. Only one I don’t play is Orisa

5. Who is you MAIN main?Uh. IDK. Depends on if it’s QP or Comp. Like... Junkrat is in my top 3 most played and yet I never touched him in comp, etc. I just call myself a tank main ngl.... who has the most hours on Lucio I guess LMAO

6. Which character have you played the least?Orisa, then I think it’s Bastion, both under an hour

7. Which character do you want to learn how to play?Idk I’m pretty satisfied with my character pool, I GUESS a real decent dps but that’s lame

8. Which character do you dislike the most?Tracer whenever she talks tbh... Or Zarya but that’s just because I really don’t give a shit about Zarya

9. Which character’s background story do you like the most?Everyone knows it’s Hog lmfao, it’s so good dude like very little is said about it but at the same time there’s just so much and then so much more when you decide to really stop and think about it. Honorable mention @ winston too

10. Which character’s background story do you like the least?Hmmm there are quite a lot I just straight up find not interesting, Zarya, once again. Or like Pharah I’m so just...  lukewarm about it lmfao. I know literally 96% of the fandom disagrees but idc

11. Which map is your favorite?King’s Row, Numbani, Eichenwalde... Hybrids maps my dude. Lijiang except control point. Also in QP, Anubis defense is the stupidest shit

12. Which map is your least favorite?Oasis & Route 66

13. What Arcade game type is your favorite?Mystery heroes lmaaaao

14. What Arcade game type is your least favorite?Total Mayhem is.... not fun

15. Do you prefer quick play, competitive, arcade mode, or custom games?QP is my go to, but I love comp, especially since I stopped caring

16. Which map type is your favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?Hybrids, ez. Then KOTH, 

17. Which map type is your least favorite? Assault, escort, assault & escort, control, or arena?2CP tends to be pretty stale sometimes

18. Which event map was your favorite?Uprising is such an easy win. Fun PvE without getting repetitive  like Halloween

19. Which event map reskin was your favorite?Christmas King’s Row, it was so pretty man. I also really really liked spooky Hollywoods. Holiday themed maps are just fun

20. Which event was your favorite?I think Halloween was the one I had the most fun honestly, not so much the event but the winposes matching and it was the first time a map got reskinned and I remember just going through the map with my friends while we were all freaking out about it

21. Which event legendary skin was your favorite?Cruiser D.Va, Bajie Hog, Ironclad Torb, Witch Mercy.

22. Which event was your least favorite?Summer Games was pretty.... ok? Idk the lucioball was fun but beside that it was aight at best. Or maybe the anniversary event but then again nah... cuz the emotes and skins were on point.

23. Which event legendary skin was your least favorite?I GUESS Null Sector Orisa because it takes away her face and expressions like... pls.... give the ^ ^ back

24. Which event non-legendary skin was your favorite?Mako Hog, Junker DVa, Sunyatta Zen, Deadlock Torb, Daredevil 76 :^)

25. Which event non-legendary skin was your least favorite?Goth Zarya probably LMAO even though I sometimes use them just because theyre so laughably bad. Young shimada bros ain’t great either IMO, but I use young Hanzo because I only play Hanzo as a joke and I like getting the potg with the highlight intro where his hair is just blocking his entire face

26. Which event item do you most regret not getting?Junkrat’s intro 8( and all the voicelines i forgot to buy. 

27. Did you beat the Uprising event on Normal, Hard, Expert, and Legendary?Hard definitely, maybe expert? IDK I didnt especially try to get the achievements so idk

28. Do you have Sombra’s “Power Outage” achievement?Doubt it I don’t really play her

29. Do you have Widowmaker’s “Smooth as Silk” achievement?Yeah I remember I jumped off a roof while being chased by a reaper and just headshot him on the way down

30. Do you have Lucio’s “The Floor is Lava” achievement?Yeah, got it in comp on LiJiang it was great

31. Do you have Zenyatta’s “Rapid Discord” achievement?Yeah, Overtime Gibraltar is pretty fun

32. What was the first achievement you got? how the fuck do u expect me to remember this. The only achievement I clearly remember getting in the beta was junkrat one with the mine into trap thing but I know thats not the first

33. Did you get the “Not A Scratch,” achievement on Junkenstein’s Revenge?I dont think so

34. What has been the hardest achievement to get for you?Reaper solo kills lmfao

35. What’s your current SR score in Competitive Mode?Uuuh something around 2600? Idk I’ve been pretty bad LMAO especially since I get disconnects a lot :/ and also dont grind comp

36. What the highest you’ve been in Competitive?Diamond something like 3150 or so

37. What’s the most amount of placement matches you’ve won?7? Maybe?

38. How many gold guns do you have?Two, Rein and Mei

39. Which was the first gold gun you got?Big Hammer, bc it’s so obvious and I like smacking people with it

40. Whose gold gun do you currently want?I kind of always wanted the gold hook(tm) but now I’m not too sure with the nerfs :/ Maybe Winston LMAO

41. What role do you usually play in Competitive?Tank, or heals especially if its a KOTH map because of all these boops potentials

42. If you don’t play Competitive, why not?I do tho

43. What kind of theme event would you like to see in the future?Horrible beach party where no one has an actual revealing swimsuit save for roadhog

44. What type of character would you like to see in the future?More healers tbh, I’ve seen a lot of people ask for an evil healer and yea that sounds great

45. Who needs more (or better) skins in the future?See the logical answer would be widow or zarya yknow but no i mostly just want more junkrat even skins

46. What country would you like a new character to come from?Give us a french canadian hero

47. Favorite voice line?Junkrat’s multikills voicelines are what fuels me, Come out and play is a fave, and the ouverture singing. And Road and Rein just laughing at multikills too man

48. Favorite player icon?Have fish masterrace

49. Favorite emote?Lucio’s dance, Roadhog’s sit, Junkrat’s sit, Roadhog’s headbanging, Winston’s PB, Ana’s Candy

50. Favorite spray?PUNCH KID MASTERRACE

51.Favorite victory pose?I like when everyone is just squatting

52. Favorite highlight intro?I like all the ones where they shove their guns in your face so you can see how gold it is

53. Characters you ship the most?No I, don’t care............ I only ship Winston and happiness y’know it. I’m ok with some ships but I truly do not actively ship anything nor care about it

54. Characters you ship the least?Junkrat x anything makes me uncomfortable as all hell, I’ve never been so attached to another character not being interested in romance before, it just rubs me the wrong way. a lot

55. Characters you wish had more in-game interactions?Roadhog and anyone, don’t get me wrong, I love how he just doesn’t talk to anyone except junkrat (and mccree once to threaten him) and just talks to himself, but pls lmao. Also more torb and rein pls, their interactions are so fucking good lmao

56. Character you wish had a comic about?Lucio

57. Favorite comic released?Going Legit or the Bastion one

58. Favorite short released?Last Bastion

59. Favorite new character released?Grandma’s pretty tight

60. Overwatch, Blackwatch, or Talon?Uh Talon, I guess? Probs overwatch tho because at least we know what’s their goal beside ‘lmao we’re bad guys’

61. Pro-Omnic or anti-Omnic?I’m pro omnic yall know it

62. Favorite character that isn’t a playable one? (Ex: Emily, Brigitte, Gerard, Efi, etc.)Athena

63. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) that you liked the most?No more Junkrat self damage is fucking hilarious, and the whole Lucio changes are fucking incredibly fun

64. Character change (nerf, boost, work around) you liked the least?Roadhog 8( FeelsBadMan

65. Best ultimate?Rein is easily my fave one. It can be absolutely useless or you can get a team wipe with it if you use it well. It’s so satisfying

66. Worst ultimate?I would’ve said McCree but now it’s actually pretty good. Gotta say Hanzo’s pretty fucking horrid lmao

67. Most kills in game?shit lemme go see... In QP it’s 41 with Hog, in comp it’s 58 with D.Va ( I once got 50 with Lucio?? lmao )

68. Most heals in game?In QP, 16.8K with Lucio and in comp 37K with... also Lucio

69. What character do you think needs a nerf? D.Va’s DM probably...... lmao or a slight rework at least

70. What character do you think needs a buff?I’d really like if the hook cooldown for hog went back to 6 seconds, or listen... I’d love for torb to be actually decent, could you imagine... 

71. Have you ever rage quit in the middle of a game?Nope lmao

72. What’s the fastest you’ve won a game?Like a minute and a half on Volkskaya or something

73. What’s the fastest you’ve lost a game?Probably the same thing

74. Your best Overwatch-related story?I met some of my best friends through it, yes yes im looking at you, rayan :^)

75. Weirdest thing that happened to you on Overwatch?One night I got matched against all of my irl friends it was great and completely random

76. Platform you play on?PC, I own it on ps4 as a joke but it’s awful, I’m awful. lmao

77. Do you stream?If people asks 

78. Do you normally play solo or with friends?Friends usually, I don’t mind playing alone tho

79. Have you made any friends because of Overwatch?So many

80. Have you cosplayed a character from Overwatch?Nope, I’d make a nice mei tho i have the same glasses and i also happen to be evil

81. Have you ever wrote fan fiction about Overwatch?I never wrote fanfiction lmao but my blog... lmao

82. What’s the lowest you’ve been in Competitive?2400? 2300? we don’t talk about the end of season 4

83. In “All Brawls,” if you get “Charge!” do you play Reinhardt or do you pick the Lucio role?I don’t think I’ve ever played that, but I’d play lucio just for the boops

84. In “All Brawls,” if you get “One Shot, One ,” do you play Ana, Hanzo, or Widowmaker?Havent played either, id be fine with anyone tho 

85. In “All Brawls,” if you get “This is Ilios,” do you pick Lucio or Roadhog?i dont play brawls idk.......... lucio bc i can just jump on roadhogs heads and be safe

86. Team Genji or Team Hanzo?Team idc about shimada bros im so sorry

87. Be honest! Do you usually get on the payload?Im top 1% objective time lucio baby

88. Does your team?yeah cuz i dont play with morons lmao, even randoms im usually pretty lucky

89. What’s the longest session of Overwatch you’ve played?I dont think I want to know

90. No Limits, Mystery Heroes, or Total Mayhem?Mystery Heroes, ez

91.Most cosmetics you have for one character?I have most of cosmetics for everyone

92. Least cosmetics you have for one character?Orisa, she’s new

93. Have you ever made your own custom game?Nope

94. Best D.Va skin?Bruiser

95. Best Mercy skin?Witch? I think

96. Best Tracer skin?How about.... none........ jk the latest one was decent

97. Zarya’s Industrial and Cybergoth skins: yes, no, or HELL NO?all day everyday

98. Do you want more animal character, robot characters, or human characters?JET PACK CAT. id be down for... one more animal character, otherwise thatd be too much. another robot eventually, though we just got one. im fine with humans

99. Is there are character you’d get rid of completely?widow tbh, i dont care for her much lorewise, she’s french and also either 1. they’re mostly useless in a match or 2. good and simply unfun to play against

100. What do you think Sombra’s real name is?idk lmao ive never really bothered to think about that

[fagpulp]

Extensive list of questions

Tagged by - @somethingscarlet13

gender - Nonbinary atm (May be Trans Boy???)

sexuality - pansexual

name - Morty

age - 19

where do you live - Mississippi

still living at home - yes

in a relationship - yes

can you drive - yes

been in a relationship - yes

had sex - yes

given/received oral - no and dont rlly want to

how tall are you - 5′4

weight - Big

body type - stocky? 

skin colour - white

race - white

where were you born - MS

finished school - high school only

got a job - Movie theatre

had a job - yes

looking for a job - yes (looking for a better one)

dream career - Storyboarder

want to travel - yeah

last thing you ate - Fish sticks and fries

what are you wearing - cute ass dog boxers

favourite tv show - In The Flesh or Ajin

favourite movie - Zootopia

last place you visited - Town

have kids - no

want kids - fuck no

have pets - yeah

know who your parents are - yes

have siblings - yes

marvel or dc - not big into heroes

favourite villain - u h

favourite hero - u  h

what console for gaming do you prefer - Xbox

been out clubbing yet - no

smoke on a regular basis - no

have smoked - yes

done drugs other than weed - no

smoked weed - no

gotten drunk - no

vomited - no

passed out - no

stayed up more than one night - yes

traveled within your own country - yes

travelled overseas - no

best memory - Cant remember shit

worst memory - uuuuuh

lost someone you held dearly - yes

been to a funeral - yes

attending university or college - I did. not anymore

living by yourself - no

opinion on feminism - everyone should be one!

opinion of fedoras - no

my little pony fan - yeah. respect it and used to watch it

anime fan - yes

western comic books fan - yeah

what type of plants do you like the most - Succulents

what age gap are you okay with - Over 18 then the rest is up to them

whats your favourite season - Spring

star sign - Pisces

hurt yourself on purpose - yes

favourite band - Nsp

play an instrument - no

how long have you been on tumblr - idk

how many blogs do you have - 2

watch porn - yes

masturbate - yes

watch kids cartoons - yes

like your name - yes

been in a car crash - yeah

broken a bone - no

been to hospital - yes

had teeth out - yes

had appendix out - no

mental disorders - yes

been diagnosed - yes

had homicidal thoughts - no. more suicidal.

are you a godparent - no

how many siblings if any - 3

favourite drink - Anything caffeinated 

favourite restaurant - anywhere we go

cats or dogs - cats

favourite word - goddamn

introvert or extrovert - introvert

opinion on gay rights - Am gay

ever had gay sex - yeah

want to have gay sex - yes

been to a gay bar - no

been forced into sex - no

forced another person into sex - no

been catcalled - no

eye colour - brown

kfc, mcdonalds, burger king, subway, dominos, nandos, or wendys - dominos

had sex to get something - no

been out of the country more than once - no

what kinds of grades do you get - had bad grades

good relationships with classmates - no

least favourite movie - the Boss Baby

nickleback?????? - no

favourite game - JaknDaxter

favourite colour - Pink

bdsm - no

have free tv or pay for tv - free

tattoos - no

want tattoos - yes

give money to charities - if i had money i would

facial hair - no but i want it

cartoon scoobydoo or liveaction scoobydoo - cartoon

opinion on drugs - helps me idk

religion - Atheist

favourite meme - mmm whatcha say

favourite shrek movie - number 2 is the only good shrek movie

many friends or a few best friends - like 4 best friends/ friends

lower class, middle class or upperclass - middle to lower 

how would you like to die - Anything quick

ever tried to commit suicide - no but was close

shave - yes

prefer your sexual partner to shave down there or - i dont rlly care

any piercings - used to be on my ears

been on a cruise - no

favourite disney movie - Zootopia or Lilo and stich

gotten drunk by yourself - no

favourite scary movie - the borderlands

failed a class on purpose - sorta

gotten in a physical fight  - yeah

gotten in a verbal fight - yeah

run away from home for more than a week - no

are your parents still together - yeah (also no cause my original dad is rlly fuckin dead yo

perfect place to live - a cheap place w others

if you could meet one person from history who would it be -  Atticus actor from How To Kill a Mockingbird

favourite starter pokemon type - whichever looks the nicest. so far water

been in a moshpit - no

done something illegal - yes

been to jail - no

bought illicit substances - no

would have a threesome - no 

listening to music, if so what - Evelyn,Evelyn

are you in a band - no

any friends in a band - no

go to the gym - no

console games or arcade video games - both r cool

hot or cold - hot

current emotional state - Calm

have scars - yes

if you could be an animal what would it be - dragon

what kind of animal do you think you most relate to - cat

if you could live forever would you - Probably not

is global warming real - yeah

best subject - English

worst personal quality - Will sometimes suddenly go completely blank

if you had one wish what would it be - Great Artist w a good job

if you received 1,000,000 $$ what would you do with it - Donate to a bunch of patreons and buy some good shit

the regular show or adventure time - Adventure time

worst fear - being abandoned (I.dont even have to retype some o these)

favourite sport - Cant get into sport

like to go to the beach - no

prefer to listen or have people listen to you - Both r nice

were you the ‘horse kid’ in primary school - no

most memorable show from your childhood - Ed Edd Eddy

good relationship with your parents - eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh

on a diet - no

last book read - man idk

are you a jealous person - Depends

have anything your really proud of - i animated 

who do you love - Jasper

had your heart broken - not rlly

broken someone else’s heart - i don’t know 

like frozen - no

preferred gender - mmmm have flesh

want to get married - yes

want to settle down eventually or travel your life - Settle down

have nice voice - dont think so

find swearing offensive - no

think tattoos are unprofessional - no

tend to procrastinate a lot - yeah

halloween or christmas - i mean theyre both okay

if you could live in another universe (show/movie/comic/etc) what would it be - ATLA

believe in the supernatural - yes

weed or alcohol - idk

messy or clean - organized chaos

big night out or a cute night in - depends who im with

best joke - jokes that dont even seem like jokes

met a celebrity - no

every prank called someone - yes

have a set of keys - car keys

have a bank account - no

okay with all things gory - sorta

more into the commercial music or undiscovered music - both

met a band - no

good at math - no

tried to pick up someone before - no

had someone try to pick you up before - yes

opinions on other kin - live however u want love u

answered all of this truthfully? - yeah i think

[thehenryhiggs]

bre’s big ol podcast rec list

heyyy everyone! so @bodhilukes​ asked for podcast recommendations on twitter and @czarrish​ and i immediately jumped on that. i was gonna make this list sometime this month away, and im super excited to do it! this is probably gonna get long so under the cut we go!

COMEDIES:

1. Hello From The Magic Tavern

Updates: Every Monday

Current # Of Eps: 101

General Length Of Eps: 40 mins to an hour

Synopsis: Arnie Niekamp fell through a dimensional portal at a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of Foon. He’s still getting a slight wifi signal from the Burger King, so he hosts a weekly podcast with his buddies Chunt (a shapeshifter who normally takes the shape of a badger) and Usidore, a wizard. They interview different creatures from Foon each week as Arnie tries to learn about Foon, while also trying to figure out how to get back home.

Notes: Okay, I have to say it. This is my favorite podcast. I love it to absolute death. It 100% got me into improv comedy and comedy podcasts, to the point where that’s pretty much all I listen to anymore. Arnie, Matt, and Adal are sweethearts and the show is so genuinely funny and interesting. Please give this one a listen.

2. The Adventure Zone

Updates: Every other Thursday

Current # Of Eps: 57

General Length Of Eps: An hour, but there are a few that are two or three.

Synopsis: The McElroys play Dungeons and Dragons. But it’s also so much more than that.

Notes: Okay you all know how much I love this podcast. I love it to death. I’m still only like halfway through it but god it’s amazing and I’m so angry I didn’t start it earlier. All of the characters are amazing and Griffin is truly such an amazing storyteller. It’s so much deeper than you would originally think, and it will make you cry like a baby. Please listen to The Adventure Zone. Holy shit.

3. CoolGames Inc 

Updates: Every Friday

Current # Of Eps: 45, with some CGI Jrs mixed in.

General Length Of Eps: An hour (CGI Jrs are 20 mins)

Synopsis: Polygon’s Nick Robinson and Griffin McElroy take listener suggestions and make video games out of them.

Notes: These are my favorite soft boys, and they are just too funny. Some of the games they come up with are genuinely good games that you’ll be upset don’t actually exist, but most of them are just silly goofs that are guaranteed to make you laugh. This podcast single-handedly got me through last semester, so shoutout to Nick and Griffin for that. You should also check out CoolGames Inc Animated!

4. Improvised Star Trek 

Updates: Every other Monday

Current # Of Eps: 157, with a BUNCH of bonus eps mixed in

General Length Of Eps: About 30 mins for regular eps, 5 mins for bonus

Synopsis: These are the voyages of the starship Sisyphus, Starfleet’s worst crew. Captain Julius Valentine Baxter and his crew, including First Officer Corbomite Hayes, Science Officer Crick Watson, Ensign Laserbear, and Chief Medical Officer Zarlene Zonaldson, just to name a few, get into way too much trouble out in the final frontier.

Notes: I started listening to this because of Matt Young from HFTMT (and because I got super into Trek), but god I fell in love with every single character. Quite a few guests from HFTMT are regulars on IST, and their shenanigans are just amazing. If you love Trek, you’ll love this.

5. Siblings Peculiar 

Updates: Infrequently

Current # Of Eps: 29

General Length Of Eps: 30 mins

Synopsis: Adam and Sarah Peculiar (pronounced Pec-U-lAr) are trying to figure out what happened to their parents, paranormal investigators that suddenly disappeared 10 years ago. They interview conspiracy theorists of all sorts as they try to gain any information they can about their parents’ whereabouts.

Notes: I started listening to this one because of Adal Rifai from HFTMT, and I’m glad I did because he and his sister are so funny together. Their conspiracy theories are so off-the-wall hilarious (there’s a whole episode about Grease being propaganda where they interview the real creator of Grease), although I will say the comedy might not be for everyone as it can veer a little into the offensive (but it’s satire and I personally love it). It’s less frequent now because Sadieh got cast in a tv show, but I still recommend listening to it!

DRAMAS:

1. Welcome to Night Vale 

Updates: Bimonthly, on the 1st and the 15th.

Current # Of Eps: 103

General Length Of Eps: 30 mins

Synopsis: Cecil hosts a radio show in the mysterious town of Night Vale, where abnormal things like Glow Clouds, angels, ominous dog parks, and floating cats are commonplace.

Notes: We’ve all listened to WTNV at this point, right? Or at least heard of it? Besides an old Fringe podcast I used to listen to back in like 2008, this was the first podcast I ever listened to. Cecil’s voice is just incredibly soothing, I find this podcast really helps when I’m super depressed, and I used to stock up on eps specifically for those times. 

2. The Black Tapes/TANIS 

Updates: they used to be weekly but they look pretty infrequent now

Current # Of Eps: TBTP has 24, TANIS has 25, both with several bonus eps mixed in

General Length Of Eps: 30-45 mins

Synopsis: TBTP is about journalists Alex and Nic investigating The Strand Institute’s Richard Strand and his various black tapes that may be evidence of the paranormal. TANIS is the spinoff, where Nic focuses more on real life conspiracy theories as he tries to find the location of the mythical TANIS.

Notes: I’m not gonna lie, I did drop both of these podcasts and I’m not sure if I will pick them back up. But the first season of both were incredible, and @czarrish introduced them to me and they really got me into podcasts. In my opinion they both declined in quality during their second seasons, but that’s just my opinion!

3. The Penumbra Podcast 

Updates: I think it’s on hiatus? But I think it was bi-weekly at one point

Current # Of Eps: 19, with bonuses mixed in

General Length Of Eps: 30-50 mins

Synopsis: The Penumbra is the grandest hotel this side of Nowhere.The series mostly follows Detective Juno Steel trying to solve mysteries, but they’re all stories you recognize told in ways you won’t expect. 

Notes: Again, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve barely listened to this and I really don’t know that much about it. I had to take a lot of the synopsis from the actual one on their website. But the first two episodes were awesome, so I feel confident in recommending it. I think they might be rebooting it?? Idk, you might want to ask @czarrish for more details.

4. Alice Isn’t Dead

Updates: Season one wrapped in Jul 2016 and it’s been on hiatus ever since. edit: s2 is starting soon!

Current # Of Eps: 10

General Length Of Eps: 30 mins

Synopsis: Alice is a truck driver who’s driving across the country in search of her missing wife, who she thought had been dead but now has reason to believe otherwise.

Notes: This is from the creators of WTNV and features the voice of Jasika Nicole, who I know and love from Fringe but also does the voice of Dana on WTNV. It’s spooky but not too much so, and I’ve admittedly only listened to 3 episodes but just like Cecil, Jasika has a wonderfully soothing voice.

MISC:

1. Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Updates: Every Monday

Current # Of Eps: 148

General Length Of Eps: An hour

Synopsis: Basically what it says on the tin: two guys explain in detail everything that has happened in the X-Men universe, starting at the very beginning.

Notes: Again I haven’t listened to too much of this, but it’s really fun. I’ve loved X-Men for a while but I always get confused with all the retcons and different verses and stuff, but Jay and Miles do a wonderful job of explaining everything without making it confusing.

2. Terrace House Mafia 

Updates: Infrequently

Current # Of Eps: 14

General Length Of Eps: 10-15 mins

Synopsis: Polygon’s Nick Robinson and his roommate Chad watch Terrace House: Boys & Girls in the City and talk about it. That’s it. But it’s cute as fuck.

Notes: I absolutely love listening to these guys talk about Terrace House because they’re going through the exact same journey that I (and probably everyone) went on when I first watched it. It’s quick and super fun to listen to.

3. The Probe 

Updates: Was weekly, but s1 wrapped in November so it’s been on hiatus

Current # Of Eps: 8

General Length Of Eps: 30 mins

Synopsis: A satirical take on news podcasts, two journalists follow the election at Franklin Delano Roosevelt High School, and learn about the country’s political climate along the way. 

Notes: Again, I started listening to this because Matt Young from HFTMT produced it, but I really enjoyed it beyond that. If you like HFTMT, you’ll recognize a lot of the Chicago-based actors in The Probe. Also I wasn’t exactly sure where to put this so I just put it in MISC cuz it’s like... definitely funny and improvised but also it’s a little serious, maybe? Idk, it’s satire. And it’s great satire.

I’m also gonna include the podcasts that I’m subscribed to but I haven’t actually started listening to yet. They piqued my interest but I just haven’t gotten around to listening to them yet! So here we go: The Bright Sessions, Darkest Night, The Hilarious World of Depression, Hollywood Handbook, Homecoming, Lore, My Brother My Brother And Me, Reply All, The Room Where It’s Happening, Wolf 359, With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus.

[smilingformoney]

It Lives in the Woods Diamond Scene: Read Dan’s Texts

You: Let’s do it. It seems like Dan wants us to know, and this is the only way he can tell us. You open Dan’s messaging app, and Stacy scoots her chair over next to yours. You: Okay, so when did all this stuff start? Stacy, you said before that Dan was having breakdowns at football games, right? When was that? Stacy: Sometime around last September, I think. Stacy reads over your shoulder as you scroll backwards through Dan’s life, rewinding across days… weeks… months…

Saturday, September 17 | 11:09 am Stacy: hey dan, its stacy… r u doing alright? Dan: yeah, what do you mean? Stacy: i saw u after the game last night… Dan: ? Stacy: crying? under the bleachers? Dan: lol what? must’ve been somebody else Stacy: im pretty sure it was you Dan: well I’m pretty sure it wasn’t lol Stacy: Then they looked a lot like you. and had your same jersey #. and afterwards im pretty sure they stole ur car Dan: I’m fine. Stacy: ok Stacy: just… i hope u know u can talk to me Stacy: about anything

Sunday, September 18 | 1:42 pm Mom: Everything okay, kiddo? Dan: yeah why Mom: My mom senses are tingling. Also I found Picard meowing outside your door this morning, and you only kick him out when you’re upset. Dan: I’m okay… just school stress and stuff. I didnt sleep super great last night Mom: Are you having the nightmares again? Dan: no, and no offense, but can we please not do the talk again Mom: ‘The Talk’? Dan: the one where I tell you a bunch of stuff that makes you look at me like a sick puppy and u try to convince me to see a shrink and I say no and we argue Mom: Ouch. Dan: sorry… im just tired Mom: Look, I know you don’t want to talk to a therapist Mom: (because you’re stubborn and you are your father’s son) Mom: But I worry about you. And I want you to be okay. Dan: I know Mom: What do you think about something like this? Mom: “New App Places Therapy at your Fingert…” Read the whole story at healthnews.pb/2016/09/15/227x941/… Dan: what is this? texting with a therapist? seems kinda cheesy… Mom: Just think about it.

Thursday, September 29 | 2:19 am Emily: hi there :) Do you prefer Daniel, or Dan? Dan: dan is fine Emily: Well Dan, my name is Dr. Emily Chambal and I’ll be your Lighthouse counselor. Emily: How are you feeling? Dan: what like now or in general? Emily: Let’s start with now. Dan: idk…hungry? Emily: Same. I’m eating nachos! Dan: aw man. Now I want nachos Emily: Yes, so does my German Shepherd. Dan: lol Emily: So how have you been feeling lately? Dan: idk… hard to describe. kind of alone i guess? Emily: Alone like sad? Dan: no. more like… scared

You: What did Dan have to be afraid of? This was long before all the creepy stuff started happening… right? Stacy: Hm… Skip ahead to November, just after Thanksgiving break. Stacy: Dan was out of school for a couple days in a row and… I don’t know. Something about it felt weird to me. You: Okay, let’s see…

Wednesday, November 30 | 9:14 am Mom: Dan, I’m trying to be respectful and give you your space but it’s been three days Mom: I’m getting worried. And the school is calling. And you have half our cups and bowls in there. Mom: please open the door Dan: tomorrow

Wednesday, November 30 | 3:17 pm Emily: Is this the first time you’ve had an episode like this? Dan: never this long Dan: idk what’s wrong with me. im just lying here shaking Emily: Did something happen that might have set this off? Dan: sort of. we went to my uncle’s cabin for thxgiving and i started having nightmares Emily: Were they about what happened? The incident when you were a kid? Dan: yeah Emily: Are you ready to talk about that yet? Dan: no Emily: That’s fine, no rush. You don’t have to answer this, but I have one other question. Would you describe this incident as negative? Or violent? Dan: yes… understatement of the century Emily: And would you say, before this episode, that it’s been a while since you last thought about it? Dan: sort of… I think about it a lot. but I try not to Dan: it got better for a few years… i just pretended it happened to someone else Emily: But visiting your uncle’s cabin brought it back for you? And then it all came rushing back to you? Sound about right? Dan: yes Emily: Okay. Well I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first? Dan: good please Emily: The good news is, I think you’re making progress. And I think we might have an idea of what we’re dealing with now. Emily: The bad news is, from everything you’ve told me over the last couple weeks, it sounds like you might be dealing with symptoms of dissociation that manifest with some forms of PTSD Dan: what does that mean? Emily: It means this may get worse before it gets better. Emily: But I do believe it will get better. I hope you do too.

You: Looks like the next big batch is around February… Stacy: Oh, no. Winter formal… You: What happened? Stacy: After the dance, there was a big party at Seth’s house. Stacy: I found Dan freaking out in the bathroom, but then I left for a minute, and he just took off…

Friday, February 10 | 2:18 am Stacy: Dan? i left to get towels and u disappeared, where r u Dan: I’m fine, I walked home Stacy: ur clearly NOT fine Stacy: wtf is going on with u?! talk to me!! Dan: just leave me alone Stacy: okay.

Friday, February 10 | 9:14 am Mom: You came home kinda late last night. Everything okay, kiddo? Dan: ya im fine Mom: Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it? Dan: NO. for the millionth time: I AM FINE

Saturday, February 11 | 4:15 pm Dan: I did something dumb the other night… Emily: What happened? Dan: i went to a party even though i was feeling bad Dan: i had a freakout, and i was really crappy to someone who was trying to help me Dan: …two people actually Emily: Have you had any more episodes recently? Dan: sort of… ive been having nightmares all week Dan: also, as I was coming home frmm the party, i went by the woods... and I thought I saw something. Dan: i guess it was probably just a hallucination but it really freaked me out. p sure i ran most of the way home Emily: These woods… are they near where your original incident took place? Dan: yeah Emily: Okay, let me ask you this… Emily: How do you feel when you see a forest? Or when you think about being inside one? Dan: bad Emily: Bad how? Dan: like i cant breathe Emily: Do you think the woods might be a trigger for you? You see a bunch of dark trees and you start thinking about what happened? Dan: yeah! Like at my uncle’s cabin! Emily: If that’s the case, then I think I have an idea for how we might start to deal with this. Let me run something by you…

Stacy: After that… I think my last text with Dan was in June.

Monday, June 5 | 4:15 pm Stacy: Hi Dan. I was thinking about you today. It’s been a few months since we talked and I’m sad with how we left things off. I hope you’re doing okay. Dan: Hi stacy. I’m good :) Dan: I mean I wasnt before, but I think im getting better. I can’t talk now but…soon? Stacy: that’d be great Dan: have a good summer vacation! Stacy: u too dan

Monday, June 5 | 6:15 pm Dan: New record! Emily: Woo! Dan: this time I went right up to the treeline & stood there for 10 minutes Emily: That’s great! I’m happy that you’re making so much progress. Dan: its not enough though. i still have to go inside Dan: i have to see the place where it happened. i have to face it. Emily: Remember not to push yourself too hard, okay? If this starts to stress you out too much, there are always other methods we can try. Emily: Just take it one day at a time.

You: It’s mostly little texts after that, all throughout summer. You: One step into the woods… a picnic five feet inside… He was working his way up to it. Working his way up to… You: Last week.

Sunday | 3:15 pm Mom: You have everything you need? Dan: yep Mom: Toothbrush? Underwear? Blanket? Dan: yep yep yep Mom: Okay. Have fun, stay safe! You want me to come and pick you up from Tony’s tomorrow? Dan: you don’t have to do that. i’ll walk Mom: K. Call if you change your mind? Dan: lol, you’re acting like this is some huge deal. i’ve crashed at Tony’s house like a million times Mom: Not for years! I’m just so happy to see that you’re doing better. Mom: I love you. Dan: thanks mom. love u too. see u tomorrow

5:15 pm Dan: Hi Dr. Chambal. I’m standing on the edge of the woods for what I hope is going to be the last time. Just wanted to say thank you for all your help. Dan: I’m going in there tonight. And this time, I’m going all the way to where it happened. To end this once and for all. Dan: I’m going to walk into that house and tell Mr. Red he’s not real. And he never was. And he doesn’t scare me anymore.

10:15 pm Emily: Hi Dan. Sorry, Sundays are my day off, just saw your messages. Emily: I’m glad I’ve been helpful to you, but I hope you understand that trauma isn’t something you can just ‘fix’ with one grand gesture. Emily: Dealing with what happened is going to take a lifetime of work that may not ever stop. but it will get easier. Emily: There are also limits to what a mental health professional can do via text, and I do still strongly encourage you to consider traditional therapy as a long term treatment option. Emily: Also, I hope that if you’re going into the woods, you’re staying safe and taking a buddy. Emily: You have a lot of people who care about you, and there are other dangerous things out there besides bad memories. Emily: take care, talk soon

10:47 pm Emily: wait I just re-read your last text Emily: Who’s Mr. Red? Emily: Dan? Who is Mr. Red? Emily: Are you there? Emily: Dan???

You put down Dan’s phone, your hands shaking a little. You: Oh, Dan… I’m so sorry. I promise, we’re going to find a way to help you. And… You: …And when you wake up, we’re going to be here for you. Whatever you need. You squeeze Dan’s hand… and he lets out a long sigh. Dan +15 Dan: Hhhhhhh… Noah: We’ll help more than that quack doctor. She told Dan it was all in his mind! She’s the reason he went to face Mr. Red! Lily: That’s not fair, Noah. Dr. Chambal didn’t tell him to do that. She did the best she could with the information Dan gave her. Lucas: And it did seem like she was helping him. It seemed like he was getting better at dealing with everything, until… Ava: …Until Mr. Red ruined everything. Again.

[survivorelara]

Episode #7: “Bon Appetite Bitch” - Dani

Merge time baby, this is where the game starts. My first job is to figure out who flipped in that last tribal, I'm betting on Loris, but if it's John I'd probably understand as well. Regardless it's disappointing because as far as "OG Tribe Lines" it's now 5v5v2, which sucks.

I think I've likely got an ok position at the moment, the real move is trying to make sure I've got an in with a lot of people, and to make sure I find myself in the majority.

Here's hoping my first tribal council doesn't turn out to be my last due to social misplays.

We merged woo, my streak of never dying premerge continues :D. However, it does feel like an early merge. There's still 12 people left, I have a strong feeling someone ain't gonna make the jury... 👀

I just noticed im the only Aquarius left woot woot. Game wise, hello, it's merge. I'm finally messaging  people, introducing myself and what not. I'll check in later to list all of the people that don't like me, but for now let's go into this hoping that I'm charismatic

Ok sooooo...... tribal did NOT go as planned but it still was good because I could’ve gone easily but drew t saved my ass because I saved his last week. we love good karma. Roxy literally forgived me without asking her to and we have merged so I don’t feel that at risk anymore. :) I just gotta keep talking to everyone so my name doesn’t get raised.

oh lord. You know idk what I’m gonna do yet Because I don’t want to work with pre friends but i don’t necessarily like my tribe either So that leaves me with loris Idk I’ll figure it out

For now, I'll do a hot or not and comments Roxy- NOT. I have to talk to her almost continuously or else she'll think we aren't allies and vote me out. (not that we are allies rn but still) Ci'ere- DECENT. He's nice but replies are sporadic and idk if he wants to work with me. Loris- HOT AS FUCK. my #1 right now, he's p cool <3 John - STEAMING? He is so nice and so cute but he seems close to purple drew. Purple Drew - LUKE WARM. Love the dude, but I am semi trying to avoid pre game friendships. Little Mix Drew- STRAIGHT FIRE. only bc of LM. in reality, more SEMI WARM. it may turn out that each side has a little mix supporter? Drachus - WHO TF KNOWS. I cannot tell if this man is playing me or not. He tells me he can't vote him out, but is that true? We havent been to tribal and he seems to be lying to me about how much he knows. If he really doesnt know all that... he seems like someone I can maybe work with. We've been loyal to the end for each other before. Just keep in mind- I'm not playing for 8th. Emma- queen? She's inactive but a great number for me. We tell each other stuff and she's just precious. Kori- challenge threat, and someone who I want to be my shield. Dani- shes so inactive bruh like what even Dylan- also inactive.

so its 5 revati, 4 auva, 3 zosma. Zosma and Auva have 2 a piece of people who I loved pregame and would consider working with. So who knows? I have a double majority, so lets not be surprised when I'm first out.

Well, I THINK I'm in an ok-ish spot. I've talked with a LOT of people, IDEALLY the next one gone is Sam just so that I can get Dani more on my side and make it clear that I wanna work with her.

I'm a little salty Altager didn't beat the basic tribe name of Orion... but I'll get over it... eventually...

In other news, I ate a burger today... it was adequate.

MERGE BABIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm elated to make the merge AND get to name the tribe! Like that's fucking sickening! I'm excited to see what the merge holds for me because that was a rocky pre-merge phase. Like obviously I wasted my idol, blah blah. And like I was an emotional mess like the entire way through. It sucks being the one that has to blindside people and like break hearts- but in the end, that's the way it is. I just love that I'm getting to play IN THE MERGE. Like I rarely ever do that because I am too much of a physical threat (in most ORGs) to be allowed into the merge. So I'm super glad that I get to play in the merge and I just have to put myself in a mindset where I can be carefree and not let the stress of the pre-merge weigh me down!

Well, The challenge went pretty well I think, not sure if I won or not though, we'll see.

I'm getting frustrated with Ci'ere though. Everytime we talk they take hours to respond, even when they initiate the conversation, and I respond within 4 minutes. My patience is definitely getting tested.

Well, I didn't win the challenge, I was closeish, got all the right constellations. I just kinda, didn't math correctly in calculating my Tiebreaker number... not sure what I even did to reach that number anymore.

Regardless, I just gotta keep the target off of me, get a feel for what others are thinking, and go from there. Ideally Sam or Ci'ere since Dylan who I'm still not a fan of won.

Ci'ere has been making a bit more effort with me, which has me a bit suspicious, so Sam is ideal just to make it clear to Dani that I DO wanna work with her.

What do people do when they merge? Like this concept is so foreign to me that this laziness is actually nice. Its peaceful and serene. Like my god. If this is the case, why the fuck do I not try to make the merge more often? Honestly, this revelation is so beautiful, I may ugly cry just thinking about it!

ok no offense but the conflict between dani and ci'ere seems literally so beyond fake i can't even comprehend it. maybe im wrong but like it feels so planned, like dan's funeral or smth.

also ci'ere just like formally asked to work with me which was really sweet so hi. they also spilled some tea about roxy/drew/drew2.0 and how theyve been working together without me so. yoinks. glad i won immunity because i wouldve been so lost

Man i'm finna make that bitch dani leave, im working my ass off to save ciere and get her outta here since she's HELLBENT on getting us out. No no, you don't do that. Hope you enjoy merge boot and hopefully just missing out on jury :)

So yeah, the main name floating around has been ci'ere. But the thing is, I've been talking with people and dani seems disposable to a lot of people. So i'm tryna convince the people i'm close with to vote her out instead of ci'ere. Because here's the thing, if dani survives until next vote and ci'ere leaves, she's going to be after me. What i'm saying to my crew is that if ci'ere survives, he'll be with us while dani isn't close with like anyone, she just talks to throw names out cuz she sucks at this game. so like, if people really want ci'ere out, it'd be so much easier to simply blindside him next vote if we wanted, because he'd feel so safe. Esp since im 95% sure one of those 2 have an idol, so i'm gonna try my best to either flush it from ci'ere, or blindside the fuck outta dani sending her home packing with it

suprise bitches after a boring pre merge i am actually playing the game i just need to see which side everyone is on i may use my idol to have my side be on control i could probably be first merge boot before i play yikes! also me and loris are powerful... he has the legacy advantage his mind omg

I hate this cast. Yell at me for a short confessional if ya gotta.

Deadass probably setting myself up for failure this vote with going after dani so hard but fuck it idc, didn't have a chance to get rid of her after louise had left and she told toby to get the fuck outta here, and now I do and she's going and hopefully joins him in the vl :) toby this one's for you homie, miss ya lots <3

W e l l, things have went left here at the Orion camp 😄 I woke up to Andrea & Loris letting me know that Auva 2.0 was after me & that I should play an idol if I had one. Apparently the Auvacados are getting bad vibes from me? However, Dani was the one that made a move against y’all so why am I getting getting ya knickers in a bunch? I previously started laying down the groundwork to have people turn on Miss Dani, but I decided to toss that plan out the window. Last night, Loris told me that John Coffey was the Revati that flipped last round and it’s because he’s friends with Drew H. I’m certain that the Drews, Roxy, & John have an alliance that finalized right before the merge. So that needs to be broken up right away. I went to Dylan, an OG Auva, to let him know that his old tribemates said he was on the outs and they made an alliance with Louise, Dani, & I. He seems to be interested in voting with me, and if he isn’t, then he’s a flop.

Sam called me “babe” earlier & I really cannot with this flirting strategy, but I’m not opposed to it! I guess I would consider him my final 2, but I’d say he’s playing well so I might need to cut him before that hehe.

I don’t like this back and forth running around nonsense, so I’m laying it all out on the table. I exposed the Auvacado 2.0 alliance. I hinted that I have an idol that I really don’t want to use, but I probably will just in case they think I’m bluffing & people don’t target me in the future for it. Apparently this caused people to start scrambling which I’ll have you know is my favorite type of egg. Deviled eggs are good af too 😈

Sam says that we shouldn’t go for Roxy because he has an in with Drew T. & that we should keep Dani the target because she threw out our name. Dani says that John & Kori threw out my name to her. Do I believe her? Not exactly. In the tribe chat when I asked Dani to vote for Roxy, she says that she likes her & would rather do someone else. This is a mess. So right now it’s looking like myself, Sam, Andrea, Loris, Emma, Dylan & Drew T.?

Why is everyone always going after me what the shit. Its drew t and h fault im like their fuckin scategost I jk I love them but im so annoyed why is the fall out if the shit theyfor do, gets blamed on ne when I havent dine anything loll fuck off

I love u drews tho

I knew going into the merge that I wanted Ciere out sooner rather than later; and when an alliance with Dani and kori was formed I thought I’d be able to get him out right away. Dylan won immunity which is awesome because he’s easily my favorite right now. Idk what it is about him but we just vibe really well right now. I’m not sure where I stand with old revati other than kori who asked me to be his final 2 the other day. I’m a wannabe puppet master and nobody was taking my bait to vote ciere. Well it seemed like they were until little rat decides to announce that I had an alliance with the Drew’s and Roxy. I went telling everyone the chat is barely even active and we voted together once. As of now the majority is seeming to want Dani and Kori isn’t answering aoooo idk who I’m voting for I kinda still want to do ciere cause I swore to Dani I wouldn’t vote for her, but I also don’t like her attitude all that much tonight. Same old Dani from unifinished business, but I actually was going to have her back. I’m a mess!!!!!!!!111

WELL BITCH I MIGHT BE GOING. These motherfuckers REALLY want me gone huh? WELL IM NOT GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT. Roxy will rue this day. ROXY WILL RUE IT. She just fucked over her whole damn alliance.

Dani is voted out 9-2-1.

[yessoupy]

oh, oakland.

started writing this in the bottom of the seventh, after i stopped keeping score.

look this team wasn’t supposed to do shit. maybe win 75 games, break even if we were really lucky. won 97 games, best team in baseball after getting swept in houston in mid-june. stumbled at the end of the season. so i should be thankful they had a SHOT, right? but nah. i saw this coming -- knew we had to win the division to have a REAL shot because the A’s in decisive win-or-go-home games? not pretty. that away series in houston in august ... had to be a sweep. and it wasn’t, we only got 1.

all our offense was healthy tonight. but we legitimately had only 2 starters, because about 7 of them had season-ending injuries. so even advancing out of the wild card, how long would we las anyway? same argument we had losing in 2014, but doesn’t make it hurt any less.

idk, we bring back those kids next season, pick up some FA pitchers and we’d be competitive. 

top of the 8th (magic inning......)

finding it hard to write while these guys are at the plate. i do love them. oh a single -- and jed swung at shit to hit into a double play. he’s not had a great few weeks. jed was safe, call overturned (why am i writing all of this, it’s stupid, but i guess you get my running commentary.... from the past by the time you read this).

jed shouldn’t have swung on that

kd home run! 2 runs on the board. opposite field hr, easy as anything, judge just watched it go....

olson swung first pitch right into the shift for out 2. sigh.

four pitch walk for piscotty.

and laureano swung first pitch for out 3. that’s some stupid shit, but he’s a rookie.

bottom of the 8th

one of the things i really love about the a’s organization is that they have pride night every year (not a one-off thing like houston did a few years back, only to abandon it). when i was in oakland i got one of the a’s pride shirts. i still do believe that of the 30 teams in baseball, oakland is the most likely team to have the first out active major leaguer. easy guess would be san francisco but i can’t think their FO is chill with that.

stanton HR 42 pitches for treinen so familia is coming in. i feel bad for rodney, got put in a shitty situation and just ... didn’t have room to deal with it. can’t really blame any one guy for this, they all contributed in their own vaguely shitty ways.

can’t think of a team with a better story, though? that’s kind of why i thought the a’s had a chance because that was the astros last year, with the best story. who gives a shit about the yankees or red sox or ... really, the astros.

i generally try to avoid saying negative things about the looks of the opposing team but voit is just so fucking unpleasant to look at. 

i guess i want the rockies to win? i wanted the astros to win last year for my friends but they’ve got a WS it’s fine. i don’t think i can muster up the energy to care, really. at least not through the first round.

top of the ninth

ugh i don’t think i’m going to eat really for days. 

yes, a remarkable season. best record in the last 92 (63-29) games but what are you going to do with no starting pitchers? i really do think we should have signed tim lincecum. oh it’s aroldis chapman pitching hm. hmmmmmmm.

marcus really is the most handsome athletic. single for marcus! now let’s not swing at first pitches, guys. lucroy still in because we’re only carrying 2 catchers and you don’t tempt the baseball gods like that. (tho i think pinder could handle catching if he had to? only position he hasn’t played this season besides pitcher, pretty sure.)

oh that’s right, i only get to see the a’s in ST for half my break, since they’re going to japan again.

a’s radio is reminiscing about god stuff in the first half, ha. lucroy struck out swinging, down to 2 outs.

canha pinch-hits for nick martini. 

i’ve been keeping a bag in my closet packed for the world series. that was probably thinking too far ahead but after we lost the division i knew that would be the only way i’d travel for a game. it has a scarf and gloves and jacket and hat in it. all a’s clothes.

canha strikes out swinging, down to 1 out.

chapman is a domestic abuser, btw.

chapman stands in, our all-american boy. hot glove in the hot corner. semien gets to second on defensive indifference and i haven’t listened to the national broadcast, have had the a’s radio on with a quarter-pitch lag the whole game but i can’t imagine -- two strikes -- that the national guys have talked much about our magic season.

three one, it’s over.

...... my heart is broken, again. want to give all those boys in green tight hugs. love u guys. love u a lot.