#idk how other latino folks feel about it though but.

[themetalvirus]

the shadow "i just love latinas sonic" meme makes me uncomfortable. its uncomfortable

[ursbearhug]

A strange white person (badge of shame lmfao) rambling caused by comment section of a video;

So obviously there is not an ounce of any other race than white in me. And I'm sure even if my mom, who let's be clear is still doing her dandest, was any more successful with tracking the lineage of either of her family trees I'm beyond certain that at best the family would be different mixture of slavic people, or maybe, mix of otherwise european (idk?) fractions; all of them explicably white. Thing that I'm saying that continuously pisses off certain sub group of leftists, is that my country and motherland has very weak understanding of racism purely because it has 0 colonial history and while other European countries were preoccupied with colonisation, it was either chilling or actively trying to sink itself. This obviously is not an attempt at exonerate or absolve of the guilt of, sadly, very often being racist. But I think it is something to consider why exactly it struggles with understanding what actions are racist and why exactly are they racist. Though, of course, you'd assume a body that is almost 1100 years old would put a little bit more effort into learning.

I've always found learning about cultures that aren't mine fascinating and as I grow older I find the indigenous people and their culture and stories more and more fascinating. Thus I see why their stories seek to be told, as they should be, and why sometimes there is a want to read them. Because white people always been like 'ooh, so exotic' all the way back to ancient greece. I also see how some people would rather take the praise of telling these stories themselves, rather than, letting the very people they belong to do that. Especially in the year of our God 2024 in 21st century when the racial card is constantly used for the 'benefits'; whether it be social leverage in a slap fight on twitter dot com or when they try to get their publishing deal. Of course it is always about unseen, intangible and famed benefits of being a different race, never about the struggles. Sure, it is extremely easy to put on blackface and act as if you shat gold with your half assed, literal shit, experiment and journalism, and forget that black folks cannot, in fact, just take their skin off when it no longer suits them.

So reading comments from different tribes of indigenous people, I don't know, competing? Arguing? Contesting? About the validity of their indigeneity is somehow strange experience. Not because 'huh, who could have guessed that race and belonging is nuanced' but because some of them seem to genuinely struggle with their non whiteness or their mixed heritage or, most interesting, what does it really mean to be indigenous. Why different tribes have different requirements to prove whether an individual is of this tribe or not? Why some of them are really just a bunch of sometimes impossible paper work and some of them are trying to prove their validity with blood or genealogy. Some point out that despite being enrolled into particular tribe they're not exactly any more [tribe name] than their peers who are not enrolled or vice versa. And I had no idea that the conversation within these groups can be so vast. I knew of the conversations about mixed asian or black or latino folk and how sometimes there is the conflict of 'am I X enough?' or 'why am I being treated racistily despite my best attempts to fit in with white folk?'. Wondering if they're asian enough to complain back in 2020 or having to defend their black heritage when they act or don't act 'black enough' whatever that even means. But seeing tribal people talking about or even arguing over the rules of belonging and not belonging is truly fascinating. I wonder if I can scrounge up some time to look into it further.

As a ending note, I'd like to remind that despite not liking Yellowface by RF Kuang, I feel the need to point out it is not, in fact, tutorial or how to guide, Zeus Almighty.

[narcpocalypse]

GUYSSSS thank you so so much for the love like holy shit???? I didn’t expect ppl to express how interested they are in this project. I’m so excited to share what I’ve been working on and ur responses have been helping the development process a shit ton.

(If u haven’t filled out the survey yet pls do! This is kinda a long post so I'll say this here to get it out of the way, if u want to see more posts going in depth about the characters, plot, and songs, I'll be posting more soon as well as an intro post!)

For example, I already have so many ideas on how to implement all of these!

We need more clear and canon NPD representation in media. I want characters people will love that are broken and morally grey but not abusers or bad people. All of your responses so far said exactly what I want to portray and I’m glad we’re on the same page!

I wanted to go through some of the questions and responses and explain my thought process so you guys can get a better idea of my vision.

As a person of color myself, I felt that this question was important to those who have trauma that is linked to being a POC that lead to development of their NPD. I have been invalidated my whole life because I’m Puerto Rican. I have always tried to prove myself as a Latino and that trauma has made me feel as though I’m not good enough. I’m not Latino enough. I am shunned by fellow Latinos that aren’t PR and that destroyed my ego. I constantly need to validate who I am which amplifies the grandiosity and persona until I crash and reveal I despise myself.

I was also curious to see if white folks find their privilege impacting their feelings of superiority. I know some people who have experienced that and had to unpack that bc they had no idea.

One of the responses talked about what it’s like growing up Vietnamese, which I won’t share or elaborate on for privacy reasons, but that response is really helpful because I have an Asian character and want to make sure I’m writing them right. Having people’s/nonhumans real experiences will help me write characters with in depth cultures tastefully and not in an appropriative or inaccurate way.

I noticed a LOT of ppl with NPD are also autistic so this is important!

There are so many cool responses here that give me great feedback but I specifically wanted to address this one to address all the others simultaneously!

This is basically where my head is at at the moment. A part of me wants characters who show a majority of good behavior but then there wouldn't be a balance. But idk how I feel about implementing abusers either? I gotta think more on it. I think it's totally possible to show a character that isn't inherently abusive but has exhibited abusive behavior and is a tough nut to crack. Someone who needs a big wake up call to actually put in the effort to change. Some people have said that narc crashes can be one of the best ways to portray that, and that's exactly what I wanna do! I know I resonate with that personally. I had to be at the lowest low of being convinced that I'm this evil awful person to realize that my behaviors are what can change those feelings. I don't want to hurt people, I have the biggest hero complex ever actually. I'd rather portray an anti-hero who has done really shitty things than an actual abuser. But don't get me wrong...he SUCKS. He is an ASSHOLE. He is a piece of shit. He is a LOSERRRR. But he's still someone who can eventually be cool and not project his baggage onto everyone. He'd also be shitty to another narcissist which results in some... INTERESTING arguments!! I'm saying he bc I have someone specific in mind GDJAJDNS so get ready for that infodump post when it comes >:3

HEYYY NPD TUMBLR! This is super important!

Wanna talk all about you and your experiences with npd?

Well I have the survey for you!

I’m writing an emo musical about what it’s like to have a sh addiction and all of the characters are narcissists. I want a variety of people to be represented so I made this survey for npders to fill out to feel seen in my work.

I have questions I need answered for the project so please share this around!!! U don’t have to fill out every question but it’s encouraged u do. 99% sure it’s anonymous too. It’s a safe space to vent as well!

[buttercupbuck]

this is just me having complicated feelings about all the eddie/poc week discourse so if you’re tired of that feel free to dip lol 

but idk it’s very confusing to have constant discourse around how you should identify and in which spaces you are/aren’t allowed. 

because like. one thing that has always given me a lot of anxiety is the idea of taking up space in places i shouldn’t, and diminishing the experiences of others in doing so. so i don’t, and it’s hard to tell when it’s to the extreme and when it’s not

but then idk the last few days have just made me feel lowkey sick and shameful because of all the “if you disagree that eddie belongs in POC week you’re a racist piece of shit” posts going around, and like?? i don’t disagree? not really. i made a post a while ago about eddie about being a white latino (mostly because, as someone who is also mixed, i’ve been constantly told that this distinction is necessary and right), but at the same time i wouldn’t not consider him a POC? and idk i know that’s contradictory as fuck but the more i sit with the “white latino” distinction, the more it just. doesn’t sit right with me

i absolutely get the whole ethnicity =/= race discussion, but it just doesn’t really feel that simple when it comes to latinx tbh 

because we’re obviously not a monolith and it doesn’t easily boil down to white/black/asian, mainly because of yk...colonization, and subsequent mixed european/indigenous ancestry. and unless you get an ancestry test it’s difficult to determine where your racial roots lie, and thus what to identify as 

and on a separate note, race is supposed to be mostly based on physical features and what not, and isn’t entirely dependent on the color of someone’s skin. so even though eddie is lighter skinned, he looks very mexican to me imo. feel free to disagree with me obviously, but even if i just saw him on the street, i’d feel the same just based on his features (beyond the color of his skin - which, even still, is decently tan). obviously this isn’t gonna be the case for everyone who sees him (like was shown in 2.05 with the guy who assumed he was white), but yeah. 

also im not even meaning this entirely facetiously, but at what color hex code does someone surpass whiteness? because for example, people argue that olivia rodrigo is white passing when she’s just. not? (ik she’s not latinx, but just roll with me here). like she’s light-skinned for sure, but she’s clearly not white...which kinda gets me into the point that it’s becoming more and more of a Thing for white people to adopt the physical features of other races (via trends like tanning, the fox eye trend, lip fillers, etc), and it’s becoming more and more difficult to determine which features are white and which aren’t, and then people who are clearly not white (or at least not entirely) are considered as such. 

so just in general, the standards for whiteness/non-whiteness are ever-changing and subjective and oftentimes dependent on who’s doing the determining 

and idk like there’s obviously room for conversations about colorism and the privilege that lighter-skinned folks receive, but imo it feels more and more unproductive and confusing to have these conversations about white latinos when the standard is nowhere near fixed and when it’s mostly used to exclude large groups of latinx from certain spaces and conversations (and i see it within fandom as well, with people dismissing racism against eddie because he’s supposedly white). again, this isn’t to say that all latinx have the same experiences or that latinx like me and eddie don’t benefit from privileges due to colorism (because we absolutely do), but yeah.

anyway if anyone wants to talk about this im down. im still learning and trying to figure out how i feel about all this, and if i sound like an idiot just lemme know lol 

[diaryofanangryasianguy]

can I ask how POC excludes Asian people? I am from SEA and I never knew about this

Idk where you been but many people don’t even think Asian people are “of color.” They have to think twice about it. Now obviously it depends on the group because if you’re South Asian or West Asian, you’re probably more included but if you’re East Asian, almost definitely not. As for Central or North Asian people, I don’t even know where they stand on it. For Southeast Asian folks, it depends.

I’m Southeast Asian too and even though I personally share a lot of life experiences with that of Black people or Latinos and literally grew up in their communities, I’ve never actually felt included in the term “POC.” It’s not just about feeling excluded, it’s also the feeling of not being comfortable claiming it or feeling as if you can’t or shouldn’t. Like if you’re Asian and you claim the term and are genuinely comfortable doing so, that’s cool. But if you’re on the edge where you’re unsure or you feel a little odd claiming it, then that’s a signal that you don’t belong or feel like you don’t belong.

Like I said, I’ve never felt included and I’m sure some others don’t either. Not only that, the term “POC” is not specific enough to describe me nor my experiences. The term “Asian” already exists and while that term isn’t specific enough either, it’s still more specific to who I am and also enough to the point where people can get an idea of who I am rather than just guess. When someone says “POC,” you don’t even know who they’re talking about and most of the time, they’re not talking about an Asian person either.

So rather than picking an umbrella term where I have to constantly guess and wait around for, I’d rather choose the umbrella term where I’m on the front of it with no doubts.

Angry Asian Guy