#idk how many times i can tell you how much i adore this story before i get annoying lol but i love this story so much !! 💗💗💗

[dragonsoulage]

The sweet dreamer…

feat. Alucard

You being such a fragile, sleepy thing. Totally emotional when you dreamed of his haunting human life…how you shed tears for him, for a monster. And this, thing touched his dark soul more than you know.

Hello together, it was time for another Alucard story. 🌚 and I just adore this man so much, sitting here like a yearning wife 💀🤣 this time something more angsty. You are a dreamer in this story. What means you can dream about the future, the present and the past but you can’t choose exactly what you want to see. I just saw a TikTok where my poor baby human Alucard suffered and I just wanted to write something to kinda comfort him in that way. I swear idk what I do sometimes but I love him in all his forms 🤣💀😭♥️

Wordcount:2,3k

Warnings: angst, sad, mentions of abuse (Alucards past), still a little fluff I guess, comfort

You were someone speical, how else should it be, you were actually a dreamer.

You were able to dream about past events but also about a future that might come.

It was like you were an alarm system to Hellsing, or a tool able to get on information that was thought to be secret.Evene when you never could chose what you dream.

You were treated with such care, from everyone even Integra herself.

No one wanted you to strain yourself, little did they had known you never had a chance to a restful sleep.

Always seeing things, no matter if it was good or not. But the world contained so much horror, you mostly flinched in your sleep, stirred, because of the intensity you dreamed in.

Not just that you always seemed a little uncollected, like the wind just blew through our mind, looking so haunted, trying to unreavel your dreams in your thoughts over and over again.

But today, oh, today you dreamed something what truly shocked you.

Something that made your blood run so cold, so cruel it made you wake up with salty tears in your eyes.

What did you dream?

Oh, the hurtful past of Alucards past life as human. Since he was around you more often, it simply affected your sleep too.

The tall, and mighty vampire sometimes simply observed the sweet, little doe, sleeping all so undisturbed but so troubled in her slumber.

A sight to behold for him, a sight that kinda calmed him.

Just looking into your serene face until it scrunched up with a slight frown, the way your breathing first so calm then sped up.

He always could tell when you dreamed something bad, it was not hard to actual read that from your face.

But this night, this night he just came back from a mission, you had been alone when you slept. Seeing the horrible thing of a human man, the same raven hair, and eyes...not red but blue, so hauntingly sad, so blunt looking towards his fate, he needed to endure too many times.

Too many times before he turned to be the undead being he is today.

It made your soft heart ache, it made your eyes water, it made your senses feel all the more coldly.

When you dreamed about the past of other people, it was always like you were the one that saw it through their very eyes.

It was nearly unimaginable that someone like him had been used and abused by a high ruler, was discarded and hurt, a soul broken into so many pieces.

Every tiny piece, part after part, was like cut away from someone so good.

Human Alucard, may have not been perfect, but no one deserved this.

Being hurt, and still he would have needed to go to war, what turned out in an insane bloodshed.

Maybe it didn't make it better he had killed his own soldier, should have been punished for it, but after life had treated him with such feet, you felt what he felt at that moment, the eternal darkness, the only thing that accepted him after drinking blood from the battlefield. Making him the true vampire he is today. 

You sat in your bed, with trembling limbs, trying to get up, wearing nothing but a white nightgown, before you grabbed the fabric and literally hurried through the long and dark corridors of the elegant Hellsing Manor, looking for that very vampire.

And when you spotted him, your gaze full of concern toward someone who is gone for so long. Human Alucard did not exist anymore, but you didn't care if he membered or not.

All you wanted to do was to hold the man, to hold the cruel, bloodthirsty creature.

When you found him, without saying anything you tapped over, with bare feet, on the cold marble floor.

You had found him in the grand hall. You stopped right in front of him, the vampire looked down, his expression unreadable since he still wore the glasses. Furthermore, you hurried to wrap your arms around his mid, your face pressed against his chest. He clearly saw you were a poor-troubled soul. 

"Did you dream something bad, little one?" he asked you, a voice soothing like heavy red silk, instead of pulling away he allowed you to search embrace, little did he know it was for him, not for you.

"It's not about what I dream... I mean, it is, but it is not because of me." you mumbled, your short arms trying to hold him tighter.

You heard a small chuckle, Alucard was much aware of your delicate sleep as dreamer, your state you were always in.

He knew even when you seemed confused, you never were. Maybe it was everyone else, who claimed any different things about you.

Alucard just could imagine how exhausting it might be to explain these things, so he was always really patient with you, and so gentle.

An arm laid around you, to hold you, thinking you were the one who needed it, maybe you needed but all you wanted to do was to hold him, close to your heart.

"Then tell me, little dreamer, what was it that you saw that you come to me?" he asked you looking down before he finally took off his orange glasses, as if trying to examine you further.

After some moment, he slightly pulled your body away, but just so much he could come down to you.

Knelling down to your height since he was so tall, on one knee. Holding your hands, seeing your glistening unshed tears.

"Oh, my sweet, it really troubled you, hm?" he whispered, tenderly brushing away a stray tear that escaped your pretty orbs. 

"I... I dreamed about something that already happened, something about you." you started slow, not sure if you should even say it, before your face turned further into distress.

You were a delicate woman, always taking in such big emotions, in your heavy mind. Always being so empathic, it laid on your heart.

"Was it the bloodshed of the many lives I took, that made you afraid?" was his next suggestion, no matter what he thought it could be, for once he was wrong. You just shook your head.

"I had seen a glimpse of your past life, your human life. And I just feel so sorry for you, I just want to...to hold you." you let him know, a voice strained with sadness but so much feeling.

You just went forward, your arms again laying now around his broad shoulders, where your head now also laid.

For a moment he was speechless, was it a faint memory of who he had been? It was like, so long ago, so many centuries the vampire just stated this as bad, long forgotten memories of someone who died this very day, when he became Alucard, a true vampire.

Red irises widened, arms now hanging at his sides.

This was something he never could believe would happen.

Someone who wanted to comfort him? A monster? Someone so mighty and embraced by darkness, while you were like a beacon of light.   

"I am not worthy such a devotion. Or someone who weeps for me." you could hear him say, a voice cold but with a vulnerability in the undertone. It affected him deeply, it struck a chord in the undead heart.

A memory long forgotten, and yet a feeling what slowly crept back in his mind.

"You were so good, you didn't deserve any of that. You never deserve anything like this." you quietly sobbed into the crook of his neck.

These tears you cried, they were all for him.

He was never a man who wanted pity, nor that he ever would need that.

It were a weakness of the mortals.

But you...this was no pity, this was a need to show you him your comfort, you genuinely wanted to hold the strong man in your warm embrace.

Just to tell hm how good he was, how he just deserved the best.

Was this really true?

Someone who wept for a life shattered into pieces.

It took him a moment before his crimson eyes soften, taking in the display.   

"Foolish girl, do you even know what you are doing?" Alucard questioned you, but not to mock, it was a soft tone, as if he could not believe it.

You nodded with your head, your voice just so trembling now, salty tears ran down your cheeks, as you hold him, wrapping your arms tighter.

"I don't care, when this is foolish... I just want to...be here." you tried to explain.

A dream where you saw what he endured to his lifetimes, making you truly sad? A dream, that shook you this much that you came running to him.

A dream that made you want to give this big, bad vampire a hug?

An endearing display, when it wouldn't be so sad.

Then his long arms accepted your hug, the need to hold him, and he let you do it.

His arms bringing you even closer to him, before he laid down his head too.

Thick raven hair tickling your cheek before he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck.

"It nearly seems like, you understand the depth of pain more than me." he mumbled, his hands stroking up and down your spine.

The very fact that you felt true empathy for a creature like him.

It did something to the handsome vampire.

It touched him indeed, so deeply, that he was not able to be sarcastic.

Not when it came to someone delicate as you. Not when the very tears you shed, were for him. 

Your small hand crept up the backside of his neck, to brush against his black hair, gently caressing it, just to hold this tall man, who already needed to come down on one knee to be on your height.

"I am just so sorry." you repeated, and he still could hear the slumber in your voice.

"That someone ever would be haunted by my human life before. Even think about that... I am not worth such pure tears, my dear." he whispered as his lips brushed your sensitive shell of your ear.

"But in my eyes, Alucard. You are worth every tear. No matter if it was your human self, or yourself now. I see you and I hold you in all of your forms. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to feel comforted." you whispered, hugging him with such a lovely warmth, making him hold onto your small form even tighter.

"Still, it makes you foolish, my dear. But I guess you wear your heart on your sleeve, maybe this makes you so responsive to the dreams that haunt you." his deep voice murmured into the crook of your neck. Inhaling your scent in a gentle motion, taking you in with all the emotions, that usually were not often seen on the vampire.

Not that he would cry, but indeed he felt a stone right on his heart, a sorrow not just from the usual lack of life. The very fact of a glimpse from someone he had been, sometimes yearning to understand the complex emotions of a sweet human being like you.

You were kind-hearted, but not weak, far from it in his eyes.

Someone like you, always bearing the insights of past and future, always enduring such dreams that meant so much and needed to be dedicated correctly. 

And yet you stood up after that haunting dream of him, it was not the bloodshed he caused that made you afraid, how could it be?

You leaned a little back to look in his pale face, a sad smirk tugged on his lips, so your hands reached for his face, cupping his cheeks so tenderly.

Thumb stroking over the part under the eye.

"Maybe it is the reason, only because I can't hide my emotions doesn't mean everyone see it. The most people ignore, but I simply can't. And not everything is terrible." you spoke, and you two were so close.

He let out a deep sigh, you were a fascinating creature, so adorable, and yet you hold such a burden coupled with the intense feelings that flooded you.

He gently brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

"You are not terrible." you added softly and the gaze you hold, full of adoration and love. 

"You have a kind heart, I can sense the light in it. The very essence of your being. You would bet on losing dogs, because your heart wouldn't take it, isn't it like this, little one?" he mused out loud, still the surprise lingered on his face that someone was truly comforting him.

"When they lose, I lose, and I am on their side, it always had been like this. And it is nothing I am afraid of. But you are not a losing dog, Alucard." you explained, your tears slowly stopped falling from your lashes. Yet he still collected one with his thumb.

"No... I am the bird of Hermes, I eat my wings to make me tame." he answered, and it was a reference to the very fact how strong he really is and that he cherished humanity, not wanting to overpower everything so easily, so eating his wings to make himself tame is the only option he has.

"Then let me tame you, so you don't need to hurt yourself." you replied, and when you said this a low gasp came out of his throat.

Your eyes looking into his red ones, he is a vampire, he is immortal.

You offered anything you could, not even aware of how much power he holds back, and you didn't want him to hurt himself? His long fingers ran through your hair, feeling their silky texture, before a small chuckle rumbled in his throat.

"Maybe you are right, little dreamer. Maybe I should let you tame me."

Alucard replied, amazed by the fact you offered nothing but comfort and love, nothing false or intriguing behind your actions. True connection and real care, a bright light shining in your pumping human heart, what made him all so weak for you...

[hersweetrevenge]

as always, fridays are the most blessed day (clean again update 📚) !! and ahhh corey's teen rebellion is off to a great start !! as much as i love the turmoil of corey trying to keep his new life together, and the whirlwind intensity of his and reader's relationship, i also love him just like experiencing new things. i want to vicariously re-experience things for the first time through him lol

His route always ended at the library, loitering until they closed, checking out old cowboy movies he watched when he was little. He hoped they could distract him, keep him company 

i don't need to tell you again how much corey and his comfort cowboy movies mean to me lol but i will anyway. there's something so quaint about his interests, so genuine in the way you just know they really speak to him and bring him comfort when he's lonely because he had nothing else.

spent the rest of the evening on the porch with old lady Joanna, smoking cigarettes and listening to stories about her life. 

ahh my favourites, phil and joanna !! i'm happy to see them again lol i love this idea of him going to them when times are tough and he needs something to do to keep himself occupied. of course he's wary to get to close to them, like he is with everyone, but i want him so badly to start thinking of them kind of like family 🥺

["]I uh.. I know the chickens that laid them.” You giggle at the expression. “You know the chickens? Are they close personal friends of yours?” 

i literally just love the way he talks lol it's such a funny saying that, but i can absolutely hear him say it like that. he has a really specific way of talking and wording things but you always nail it, especially with lines like this !!

 He can tell you think he’s joking, but he doesn’t understand why. He looks at you blankly, trying to get it

again, he's just so earnest !! that's the thing about corey too that people never quite get, but you totally do -- he's awkward but he always knows when he's missed something, he just can't work out what. he can read people well enough, but that doesn't fix the things he doesn't know, it just means he's acutely aware that something has gone over his head.

He's thought about it often, especially on cold nights with a stiff neck, sleeping on the floor of an abandoned house and wishing he hadn’t survived. He thought about things far more destructive than marijuana.

ahhh !! i've been thinking about this since like chapter 2(?) lol it makes so much sense that he wouldn't actually risk getting drugs anywhere, i feel like that's very in character for him when he's been so methodical in keeping off the grid and crafting a new life. but its so interesting to see him acknowledge it from a better place, like he knows he would of if it hadn't been so risky. and just from a reading perspective, i love that it kind of gets resolved from my initial thoughts.

He looks at you with a dark expression, embarrassed and slightly betrayed. 

*sickos voice* yes... ha ha ha... yes !! something about this is so perfect. how adoring he normally is but beneath it there's this very sensitive trauma of never just being normal. he does not do well when he thinks he's being laughed at. i feel like it's all a part of his very obsessive brand of love, he puts his whole heart into it and then gets really hurt if he feels like the subject of his affection isn't 100% on his side.

Then he leans down to put his lips on the bong, looking up at you through his eyelashes as you flick the lighter.

stop, stop, i'm already horny 🫣 something about him being so trusting and vulnerable and adoring. something unassumingly erotic about him. this image will never leave my brain, i'll be thinking about it on my death bed.

You keep your face close to his as he exhales. Then you kiss him, once, twice before pulling away. 

ahhh the inherent intimacy of guiding and closeness and giving someone a first time !! the way he listens exactly and the experience is in your hands. it's a kindness, having no expectations on him because this is new and it can be so special if the love is there. this whole story is full of little intimacies that are so tender and touching. it's what love is all about !!

The way you say you’re strange, it might as well mean I love you.  

and oh how i do love him !! being the weirdo has been the bane of his life, but him finding peace with that (slowly, of course) because the way the reader means it is with so much affection and understanding and it's only ever a good thing that he's strange (aren't we all?)

there's nothing inherently unlovable about him, he's just been told over and over that there is. he's resented being strange but somehow it sounds so sweet coming from reader. once again, that's what love it.

“This is cool,” he says, and giggles. His nerves are electrified

i can't even explain how much it soothed my soul to know that corey had a good first time stoned experience !! 💗💕 living through them vicariously lol and you just know it's beyond what he ever imagined and for once its a good surprise !!

corey would be such a good person to get high with, so long as you know nothing is going to come up and disturb the session. like if only his good emotions got heightened it would be perfect. also just hearing the way he would describe the feeling is so wholesome !!

the way i know it would fix me to have the most stitch-inducing laughing fit with corey. i want him laughing till he cries, actually.

He wants to be inside you. With his cock, yes, as deep as he can get it, but also with his soul.

boner in his pants, but also in his heart 💗 it's all connected anyway, the way he falls in love and the way he wants to be wanted. how he feels everything so deeply that he can never get close enough. how he can be so one-track minded and it makes him put his all into you, his body and soul and mind.

“Tell me something fucked up about you.”

you may as well have just told him he actually smoked the forever weed and 100 people are about to come over 😭

but narratively, i love this !! the stomach drop it gave me because one day i just know reader is going to ask something and corey is high or drunk or sleepy and can't stop himself before he says something he shouldn't of. it's moments like this that keep us on our toes, because no matter how comfortable this relationship feels (and you write the softness of it so well !!), we always have these reminders that corey is fucked up, isn't he?

["]I just kept thinking about it, like I could feel it in there, waiting... They never found out it was me.”

corey having warning signs before the accident and before michael !! i love how he's so drawn into his own story, the way he lives it and remembers how good it felt. but then there's this switch at the end, he's so matter of fact about it -- he doesn't even sound guilty, but the actual consequences (nearly burning the street down) don't really register for him. the fun is in the fire, not in the aftermath. he's such a firebug, you're right 😈💗

“You beat him with the bat?” Corey asks, trying not to sound too excited. You look at him with narrowed eyes, like you’re trying to figure something out. He looks down, not wanting to give himself away. 

oh he's so fucked up, i love him !! he's tasted blood and the want for more is never going away -- i love these more toned down moments that can be played of, but really the violent impulses inside him are just being stoked.

and again, the hints towards 'things are good right now, but how long can they last? how long can corey last before he does something that gives himself away and you get scared of him?'

You’re genuinely dangerous. 

i love this !! i love the sort of ambiguity of intentions. like is reader dangerous enough to not be scared of corey if she found out the truth? or is corey projecting that in the hopes that he doesn't have to give up all of his violent impulses to be with you? or are you dangerous is different ways, and you're just better at drawing the line ??

Clean Again

Chatper 9: SOMETHING FUCKED UP read on AO3 | previous chapter | tumblr chapter index make sure to check AO3 for this fic's playlist and other extras! (see a mini-playlist for this chapter on tumblr here)

A fun night in ends up kinda heavy.

general warnings for this fic - angst, fluff, smut (MDNI), canon-typical violence, canon-typical gore contents/warnings for this chapter - stalking, passing ref to hard drugs, marijuana consumption, arson, assault (non-sexual), passing mentions of sex/arousal

5,152 words

@rebel-blue @heartrot666 @wolvesandvampires @cordelium @toxicanonymity @multifandom--mess @hersweetrevenge @futurewife @yllcm @ethanhoewke dm me or reply to this post to be added to the tag list 💕

Thank fuck it’s Thursday.

You and Corey have gone three days or more apart since you started seeing each other. It’s not the length of time so much as it being intentional. It was easier to spend any number of days apart when any second you might text him or call him to ask him to come over. Knowing that text wasn’t coming made Corey fidgety. Last week he was beside himself, riding his bike for hours, on routes that just happened to pass by all the places you regularly go. I was just in the neighborhood. His route always ended at the library, loitering until they closed, checking out old cowboy movies he watched when he was little. He hoped they could distract him, keep him company when he was awake for 37 hours straight. 

This week, to keep himself from sitting outside your apartment just hoping to get a glimpse of you, he called the elderly couple to see if they needed any help. Monday evening after work he rode his bike to the edge of town, following the familiar path as the paved roads gave way to dirt, scattering dogs and chickens as he roared into the yard. In the amber light of late afternoon, he deposited seeds in rows in their vegetable patch, tomatoes and sweet corn and summer squash. Tuesday evening Phil led Corey across several acres, deep into the center of the property, where he’d had to abandon his riding mower after it gave up on him that morning. As a man of a certain age and economic station, Phil knows a thing or two about a thing or two, and he ran Corey through the list of of valves and fluids he already checked before leaving him in the field to figure it out. Corey found the problem but didn’t have the part to fix it, so Wednesday evening on the way out to the farm he stopped to pick it up. Part in hand, the repair was a cinch, and he spent the rest of the evening on the porch with old lady Joanna, smoking cigarettes and listening to stories about her life. 

But he finally gets to see you today. He makes record time from the garage to his apartment, then to yours. He bangs on the door with one hand, holding gifts for you in the other, a fresh bouquet and 18 eggs from Phil and Joanna’s chickens. 

“Eggs?” You ask when he hands them to you.

“Fresh eggs. Free range. Laid just in the last couple days. I uh.. I know the chickens that laid them.”

You giggle at the expression. “You know the chickens? Are they close personal friends of yours?” 

“No,” he says, laughing too. “I just help out on the farm where they live sometimes.”

“Well, thank you. That's really cool. I can’t wait to eat these. Send my regards to the girls,” you joke, placing them in the fridge.

The task he’s assigned himself tonight is oiling all the hinges and tightening all the knobs on your cabinet doors. Something you could easily do yourself, but he’s come to the point where he's scraping for projects, and he's more than happy to take care of it for you. He gets started while you fill an old peanut butter container with water for your flowers. They spill lazily over the wide mouth of the jar as you place it in the center of your kitchen island, a posture you mimic as you lean against the edge and watch him work.

“You do have a vase,” Corey says when he gets to the cabinet under the sink. He sets down his screwdriver and pulls something out. A glittery object that caught his eye deep in the shadows. 

“I do?” You ask, confused.

He holds up a glass vessel, 10 inches tall, with a big belly bottom that tapers into a narrow tube towards the top.

“Corey!” You snort. He can tell you think he’s joking, but he doesn’t understand why. He looks at you blankly, trying to get it, and watches your face change as the realization dawns on you. “Oh! You really don’t know?”

“It’s not a vase?” He asks, turning it around in his hands. “It is weird that it has a hole in it, I guess.” He puts the tip of his pinky in the opening in the vessel’s belly.

“It’s a bong, Corey. A water pipe. For smoking. It’s just missing a couple pieces.”

“Don’t you only smoke cigarettes sometimes at bars?” Corey asks, still not fully grasping the concept.

“I don’t smoke tobacco out of it,” you say slowly. 

“Oh…” he breathes, eyes widening in recognition. Corey had some inkling that there were different kinds of pipes people use for smoking weed, but he’d never seen one before now. At the parties he snuck out to in high school everyone had just smoked joints. 

He’s always been curious, but when Momma was still alive he had been too worried about how she would react if she found out, her bloodhound nose easily defeating paltry pieces of gum and spritzes of cologne. Since he’s been on the run it hasn’t seemed like a good idea to seek out drugs. He's thought about it often, especially on cold nights with a stiff neck, sleeping on the floor of an abandoned house and wishing he hadn’t survived. He thought about things far more destructive than marijuana. But he’d never bought drugs before and an interaction with an undercover cop seemed like way too big of a risk. 

“Do you smoke a lot?” He asks

“Not so much lately.” You shrug. “I think I still have some though.”

“Could we…? Do you have the missing pieces?”

“Yeah, if you’re sure you want to,” you say, face shifting from surprised to amused. Corey nods. “Okay. That needs to be washed because it’s been under the sink for a while.”

He turns to the sink and runs the water while you go into your bedroom. He hears you opening drawers and clinking glass objects while he washes the bong, using a sponge on the outside and a bottle brush on the inside, unsure of how thorough he should be.

“Put like, two inches of cool water in the bottom and meet me in here,” you instruct, standing in the archway with your hands full.

In the living room you’re lighting candles. On the coffee table he sees an ashtray, a little canister full of weed, two glass objects he assumes are the missing pieces, and another container. 

“I didn’t realize it was so involved,” he says. 

“It’s what you make it. I want you to have a good first time,” you say. 

You move to your sound system. You start to put a record on the turntable but change your mind, pulling something up on your phone instead. Gentle indie music fills the room. Corey sets the bong on the coffee table and sits down on the couch while you draw the curtains and turn on a lamp. He’s excited and a little nervous. 

He likes drinking well enough. His only experience being out at a bar is the Halloween party at Velkovsky’s, which ended badly, but he’d had a good time before he bumped into Mrs. Allen. Other than that he’d had a beer here and there, getting buzzed extremely quickly thanks to his practically non-existent tolerance. And there have been a couple nights with you since he started sleeping over, the two of you sitting at your dining table with a bottle of sweet white wine, getting progressively worse at Scrabble. He likes the numb feeling, everything happening without really happening. Pot can’t be that different, right?

You pop the top off the mystery container and Corey sees it’s filled with metal teeth. He watches as you break apart a little ball from the canister, a “nug” you call it, and lay it over the teeth. Your fingers work delicately but deliberately. You put the lid back on and hand it to him.

“Twist,” you say. He does as he’s told. You put one of the glass pieces in the hole in the side of the pipe, then reach out to take the grinder back. As you open it he realizes it has multiple chambers that unscrew independently, a nice design thing he appreciates. You pinch a little pile of shreds out of the chamber, dropping them into the other glass piece, which looks like a tiny goblet with a handle. 

“This is the bowl,” you tell him. “To hit the bong, you gotta start with the bowl in the downstem.” You drop the bowl into the hole in the side of the bong, then pick the whole thing up with your left hand. You explain the process of lighting the bowl, inhaling, and clearing the bong. 

“That sounds easy enough,” Corey says. 

“It’s deceptive. It’s not like cigarettes,” you say. Then you take a hit to demonstrate. “Breathe deep, with the bottom of your lungs.” Your voice sounds dark and warped around the smoke. Then you release a huge plume toward the ceiling. 

You hold the bong out to Corey and he accepts it.

“I should probably light it for you, your first time,” you say, holding up the lighter.

Corey nods his head. He closes his eyes and tries to empty his lungs completely. Then he leans down to put his lips on the bong, looking up at you through his eyelashes as you flick the lighter. Everything goes well until he pulls the bowl to clear the pipe. He panics immediately, coughing and putting the bong on the table still filled with swirling smoke. He coughs so hard tears come to his eyes. You look at him with a combination of pity and mirth.

“What the fuck!?” He chokes, wiping his eyes.

“It’s deceptive!” You say, suppressing a laugh. “Are you okay?” 

He looks at you with a dark expression, embarrassed and slightly betrayed. 

“Poor baby,” you pout.

Poor Baby. His breath hitches. Even hearing it sarcastically, the pet name strikes him hard. Twice as hard as the other week when you called him sir. Since he’s been in the south the occasional old lady has called him some term of endearment in a grandmotherly way. It always flusters him, the way these women so casually dole out maternal affection, something his own mother wielded like a weapon. But no one has ever, ever called him baby like that. He’s grateful that the coughing fit gives him an excuse for being so red.

“There is a way that might be easier,” you coo. “You can get it second hand.” 

Corey clenches his jaw. He doesn’t know what you mean, but you seem to want him to guess. You sit there patiently. 

“Show me,” he finally says.

Grabbing the pipe from the coffee table, you take a much bigger hit than before. He’s astounded at the apparent capacity of your lungs. You hold it in as you lean closer to him. When the tips of your noses almost touch you say one word in your growly smoke-filtered voice.

“Inhale.”

Then you blow the smoke into his face in a long, even stream.

Corey inhales and fills his lungs, breathing to the bottom like you told him to. He closes his eyes  and hears you taking another massive hit as he exhales. You lean back into him, so close that your lips brush his on the second syllable.

“Inhale.”

Corey parts his lips and you breathe into his mouth. You keep your face close to his as he exhales. Then you kiss him, once, twice before pulling away. 

“How do you feel?”

“Uh…” He feels very flustered but he doesn’t think it has much to do with the weed. “Normal?”

“Give it a couple minutes,” you say, nodding. Then, sort of suddenly, “There’s so much you haven’t done, isn’t there?”

Ostensibly it’s a question, but you know Corey well enough to know it’s a statement of fact. Of course there’s a lot he has done, things that most people never will. Most people will never look evil in the eye. Most people will never commit a murder, on accident or on purpose, much less 10 of them. Most people will never meet a beautiful girl while they live in hiding, waiting every day for the other shoe to drop. But none of it’s the kind of thing you can put on your resume. He's painfully aware of how sheltered he was for most of his life. 

“You’re a strange man, Corey Carpenter,” you say. The sound of his fake name from your lips stings, but your tone soothes him. The way you say you’re strange, it might as well mean I love you.  

Corey swallows hard. His mouth is dry and his tongue feels huge. Why is his mouth so dry? His lips stick together. “Can I have something to drink?” He asks hoarsely. 

“Cotton mouth huh?” You say, patting his knee. “It’s working.” 

You go into the kitchen and Corey hears you making two glasses of water. It seems like you’re gone forever, like each second lasts a year, like the world is in slo-mo. His heart rages against his ribcage. His head feels like a helium balloon, floating up and bumping against the tall historic ceilings, so far away even the string is out of reach. He thinks about calling your name, and feels like it takes several business days for his mouth to actually follow through. 

You pad in from the kitchen with the waters. You’ve been gone for 90 seconds. He calls your name just as you come into view, and he feels like he’s done a magic trick.

“How do you feel?” You ask again, handing him his glass.

“Weird,” he says.

“Good weird, or bad weird?”

“I can’t tell.” He looks at you for guidance. “I think I can feel my skin more than usual.”

“Congratulations!” You exclaim. “You’re stoned!”

You sit down behind him on the couch. He tries to turn to face you, but you grab him by the shoulders and turn him back around. You gently scratch his back with both hands.

“How does that feel?”

He doesn’t respond verbally, he’s too absorbed in the sensations. He writhes around, trying to get whatever park of his back is currently under your nails closer to you. When you move one hand up his neck to his scalp, he leans so far into your touch that he falls backwards against you. You bring your face down to his, keeping your hand in his hair. You look into his half lidded eyes. 

“This is cool,” he says, and giggles. His nerves are electrified, your nails on his scalp sending tingles radiating through his whole body. He looks down to check because he could swear he’s hovering six inches above the couch. He feels so immaterial that he’s surprised he doesn’t phase right through you. “I’m a ghost,” he whispers.

You cackle. “You’re a ghost, Corey?”

“Yeah,” he says, laughing too. He tries to fight off a full blown laughing fit. What’s even so funny? He’s not sure. His thoughts feel like they have to swim to get to him. If he doesn’t focus hard enough, they drift away. He sits up and turns to face you.

“What do you feel like you want to do? Is the music okay? Do you need anything?” You ask. 

He considers. He had forgotten all about the music until you mentioned it, but now he’s falling into it, absorbed in waves by the guitar riffs. He picks up his glass and only means to take a sip, but finds himself chugging. He looks around the apartment, glowing warm from the lamp and the candles, and he looks at your face, soft and dreamlike in the light. He can feel himself grinning stupidly, but he can’t wipe the smile off his face. Your questions swim hard to get to him.

“The music… feels nice. Like I’m inside it,” he says.

“I love that feeling! But if you really wanna feel inside it, you need something fuzzier than this,” you say, scrolling through your playlists. 

“Fuzzy?” He asks. You put a finger up. Hold on a second.

A new song starts playing. It is instantly cacophonous. It sounds like it was made by bees. It is fuzzy, that’s the perfect word for it. It feels like it’s massaging his brain. Even the singer’s voice is raspy and more like an instrument. He can’t understand the lyrics at all, but the vocals evoke a strong feeling anyway. The sound wraps around him like a warm blanket. 

You grab the remote and turn the music up a little bit, swaying along serenely. Corey feels hypnotized watching you, your movements like a pendulum swinging in front of his eyes. You are so gorgeous, and you look so happy. He impulsively reaches out to touch your face. You nuzzle into his hand, and he feels like his heart stops beating.

He wishes the moment could last forever, but a new song comes on and it’s much faster than the last one. You spring off the couch and throw yourself around the living room, dancing with abandon.

Corey hasn’t danced in over a year, not since the Halloween party. He has not so much as tapped his foot, even with all the new music he’s enjoyed at your suggestion. Every time he wants to do something with you he did with Allyson he feels hesitant. He’s still avoided giving you a ride on his bike, and he hasn’t met anyone else in your life, although he suspects he can’t hold off on meeting Veronica much longer. But he feels so warm and tingly right now, and you’re having so much fun. He jumps up and joins you.

The two of you circle each other like sharks. You lunge forward and grab his hands, pulling him close to you, then pushing him away. He lets you swing him all around the living room. You spin under his arm and then into it so your back is pressed against him with his arm around your waist. You and Corey bounce and sway as a unit, sensing and anticipating each other’s movements. He feels you give into your impulse to grind on him and it makes his knees weak. The way you wiggle your hips back against him is torturous. A pained little noise escapes despite his efforts to stay quiet as he wills himself not to get hard. It’s a losing battle. Oh my god. He’s not sure if he thinks it or says it, but you press against him one more time, harder and slower, before spinning back out of his arm.

He’s not gonna let you get away that easily, using his hold on your hand to pull you back to him, and wrapping his other arm around your waist. Your giggle comes out like a squeal. You look up at him with wide, starry eyes. Another new song begins. He’s not sure why, but Corey feels like it’s the kind of song that would play at prom. He didn’t go to his prom, he didn’t go to any school dances. Momma never would’ve allowed it, so he just didn’t ask. Slow dancing is pretty intuitive though. He keeps you clasped against him tightly as the two of you rotate slowly in the candle light.

You sigh contentedly into his shoulder and press your hips against him. Every sensation feels amplified, and the softness of your belly against him through his jeans is insane. He puts his face in your hair and grinds against you, reveling in your smell as his breathing gets heavier. Nothing exists except you and the music. He wants to be inside you. With his cock, yes, as deep as he can get it, but also with his soul. He doesn’t have much, but he would give you everything. He wants to say I love you despite knowing it’s too soon. It would be okay if you didn’t say it back, if you just needed time. But he wouldn’t be able to take it if it scared you away, so he keeps quiet.

“Corey,” you say, ending his trance. “Tell me something fucked up about you.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, suddenly nervous.

“I don’t know. Something that follows you from your childhood, or… Something you think about a lot even though you know you shouldn’t. Something you hesitate to tell people, or that you’ve never told anyone.” You pull away slightly and meet his eyes, searching.

“Oh, I…” he starts then trails off. He looks away. What is he supposed to say to that? There’s no shortage of fucked up things about him, no end to the things he hesitates to tell people. 

“You’re safe with me, Corey,” you coax him. 

He knows you think you mean it, that you would accept him for a petty criminal record, a weird kink, an ugly divorce. Even if he told you his whole life story, he believes that you would hold his hand, right up until… Well, he’s not sure where the boundary is. Jeremy? The homeless man? Luring Doug to Michael, the first time he ended a life completely intentionally?

Not knowing the boundary isn’t as scary as the questions. He might say something well within the safe zone, but anything he says at all could lead you to ask questions. Questions the internet would happily supply the answers to even if Corey didn't. Questions with answers that would bring you well outside your limits, wherever they are. Finding out just who exactly has been sleeping in your bed would certainly mean the end of the relationship, and probably the end of Corey’s life too. 

He looks back to you and then, up through the fog, he thinks of something he can tell you. A story that stands on its own, a story that you can’t google. 

“When I was twelve,” he starts, “I found a lighter in the seat on the school bus.” The events play like a movie in his head, and he’s transported back to an autumn when he had just a tiny bit of freedom. Momma had burned all the bridges at her old job and her new one wouldn’t give her her preferred schedule yet. She hated when Corey would be home alone for any amount of time after school. But being a single mom trying to keep food on the table meant that for a few months she didn’t have the option of getting off in time to be home when he got there, temporarily granting him the luxury of being a latchkey kid.

“I put it in my backpack and kept it on me all day at school. I just kept thinking about it, like I could feel it in there, waiting. When I got home I knew I had a couple of hours alone. I spent it burning stuff. Pieces of cardboard from the garbage or whatever. I thought it was so cool how the fire could just… completely erase things. I wanted to watch something bigger disappear. 

“My neighbors across the street had a car up on blocks. It didn’t have an engine. It had been sitting there for as long as I could remember. One of the windows was rolled down, or maybe just missing, so it was full of trash and leaves. I waited til nobody was looking and I lit a piece of cardboard and dropped it in. Then I ran home and watched it from my bedroom window.

“It was awesome. All the shit inside caught so fast, then the seats, then the frame. You wouldn’t think metal would turn to ash and float away, but it does. Cars are paper thin. I cut through them with a torch at work all the time. 

“The fire got really fucking big. A lot bigger than I expected. I thought when the car burnt out, the fire would disappear, like it did with a cereal box. But the grass was super dry. It spread across the yard and caught my neighbor’s garage. I ... I didn’t call 911 because I was scared they would know it was me. Eventually someone else called, but the garage was gone by the time the fire department came.”

Corey basks in the rapt look in your eyes as he tells his story, still holding you close and swaying slightly. It feels so good to just be honest with you about something. Not to have to tiptoe around his secret. He can’t believe the way you eat it up.

“Then what?” You ask, awed. 

“I don’t know. They never found out it was me.”

“Holy shit. You could’ve burned down the whole neighborhood, you little arsonist!” You poke him in the chest and laugh. "I should've known you were a firebug, Mr. Lights His Cigs with Matches."

“Guilty,” Corey says. Guiltier than you know. “What about you? Are you gonna tell me something fucked up about you?”

You pull out of his arms slightly, not to get away, but to bring him with you to the couch. He sits down with you, one arm still around your waist. You hit the bong. As you exhale you gesture to offer him more, but he’s still plenty stoned and he wants to focus on whatever you’re about to say.

“I didn’t tell you the whole story,” you say.

Corey is confused until he realizes you’re presenting your arm to him. The Carrie tattoo. He runs his fingers over it. With his sense heightened, he feels like he can read it like braille. He thinks back to the night the two of you watched Carrie. How you had unknowingly validated him. How he hoped you could find a way to feel your feelings about Carrie, about him. 

“There was this guy. He used to be hot shit in the music scene here. I think at one point he was in… four different bands? I knew we had all these mutual friends, and I saw him around all the time. I mean, he was almost impossible to avoid. And he was cute, and he was talented. I thought that maybe he and I could really be something. But we just didn’t click like I hoped we would. Not like I click with you.

“I kept going on dates with him, even though I wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to feel it, or … I don’t know. It makes less sense the longer ago it happened. I guess he never picked up on the fact that I was pulling away. He was gone on tour a lot and I kinda hoped he would just get distracted and forget about me. But he didn’t. Even after I spelled it out for him, he still acted like we were together. I had to start avoiding shows his bands played, certain bars I knew he liked. I would still see him everywhere though. He would put his arm around me, try to make plans with me, whatever. He just wouldn’t take no for an answer, for months. It was so bad Veronica would physically get in between us so he would leave me alone.”

Corey clenches his jaw. He remembers the way Doug disrespected Allyson in front of him. Doug had treated Corey like shit too, threatening him when he arrived on the scene after the accident with Jeremy, making Corey’s handcuffs too tight. He deserved what he got just for that. But the thing Corey really couldn’t take was the way Doug pretended to be interested in Allyson, to care for her, while making her visibly uncomfortable. The way Doug acted like he owned her, like she owed him something, like she was too stupid to make her own choices. That was why Doug had to die. And as you talk, Corey silently promises that if he ever sees the guy from this story, he’ll have to die too. 

“So on Halloween we did a bar crawl, everybody from work. And we all dressed up like Stephen King characters. I was Carrie and Veronica was Wendy from The Shining. Have you ever seen it?”

“No.”

“Okay, well, Veronica was a character that carries around a baseball bat for part of the film. And she went to the bathroom and she had me hold her bat.” You pause, making a sour face.

“Oh my god… I just realized. He must have seen that I was with people and waited. I thought the timing was a coincidence, but maybe it wasn’t. He was shit-faced, but I guess he wasn’t too far gone to realize he could only get near me when she and Rose left. That fucking asshole!

“Anyway, Veronica went to the bathroom and he came up behind me and put his hand on my stomach and tried to dance with me. And I just got so fucking angry… I broke his nose and three fingers.”

“You beat him with the bat?” Corey asks, trying not to sound too excited. You look at him with narrowed eyes, like you’re trying to figure something out. He looks down, not wanting to give himself away. 

“I didn’t beat him, exactly. When he put his hand on me I just kinda…” You grab the three middle fingers on one of Corey’s hands. He looks back up, meeting your eyes, and holds his breath. You bend his fingers sideways, gently but firmly. First it’s a nice stretch, then it hurts. He doesn’t react. He trusts you not to actually break his fingers, but he almost feels like he would let you if you wanted to. You hold his fingers at that unnatural angle for a long moment. Then you let go.

“Like that. But harder, and faster. I didn’t think they would break so easy or that it would fuck up his tendons and stuff, but I was tipsy and full of adrenaline and I just… Did it. And then I hit him in the face with the bat, once. Once was enough.

“I was dressed like Carrie, and it felt kind of supernatural the way my instincts just took over so I could defend myself. I didn’t know I had that in me. I got the tattoo so I would never forget.”

Corey is completely smitten. He takes your hands, pressing his palms into yours, knowing you’ve both felt the vibration of someone else’s bones breaking. His impression of you as a huntress was more correct than he could’ve ever hoped. You’re genuinely dangerous. 

His desire to say I love you floods back to him, but he bites his tongue. He has to figure out the perfect way to tell you.

[astrasng]

thinking about...

bf!hunter who unconditionally helps with anything you're struggling with. you need help with school? he tries the best and helps you out! are you trying out a new hobby? he's trying it out with you!

bf!hunter who is overprotective over you. whenever he sees someone looking at you in that way he's immedietly putting his arms around you and pulls you away, his eyes glaring down at the person who just tried to steal you away from him.

bf!hunter who braids your hair into whatever style you ask him to, he learned how to do it from his sisters just for you. when he tells you that, you know that it's forever between you two. I wish you could meet my sisters, they would love you!,, Silly, take me to Thailand and then I'll gladly show them the braids you matered.

bf!hunter who pulls you over his body, angling you on top of him so you are chest to chest to each other. he thinks he feels you even closer to him, the cuddling sessions always wholesome and cozy with him. in this position, all you can feel is his hands caressing your back or drawing little shapes in his sleepy state.

bf!hunter the sweet boyfriend he is, always keeps an extra hair tie with him because he knows how often you lost track of your hair ties.

bf!hunter who randomly calls you up on facetime, begging you to join him cooking in the kitchen because he's bored alone. whenever you reject him, it doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing he teleports right next to you to nag you. Babe, what if I told you I'm baking you a cake? Would you join me then? ,, you know the answer is yes in that case.

bf!hunter who lets you shave his face whenever you feel like it, sitting you down on the counter or the toilet, either squatting between your thighs or standing between your legs. there isn’t a single time when he isn’t staring into your soul for the whole time, making you blush uncontrollably.

SLIGHT NSFW

bf!hunter who stops in his tracks the second he can smell your perfume which intoxicates him so much that all he can think about is you for the rest of the day. he nearly dropped to his knees when you gave him a full proper hug, his mind racing with thousands of thoughts of what he wants to do to you.

bf!hunter who workouts for you, only you, because he knows how much you love and adore his body. his perfect proportion making you dizzy whenever he flexes his muscles either accidentaly - or on purpose.

bf!hunter loves dolling you up. buying you pretty things and making you wear them - but you'd wear it anyways. he would just sit there next to you at your vanity, either fixing your hair or helping you in your makeup. So pretty he'd murmur into your ear, making you blush immediately.

bf!hunter who doesn’t leave without a kiss, if you tease him on purpose and not give him one, he easily throws you on his shoulder and takes you all the way to your shared bedroom and makes sure you give him a proper one.

bf!hunter who pulls you onto his lap whenever he’s playing something on his computer or his ps, his arms around you and his chin on top of your head. when he’s feeling risky, and sees you on edge from this position, he just smirks and whispers filthy things into your ear while you try to concentrate on his game.

bf!hunter often sends you the dancing videos before posting them for the fans, attaching a special picture next to it so you know you’re the only one who has it. Here baby, i thought you’d like this.

bf!hunter who knows you’ll call him up right after seeing the picture and video,laughing in the phone at your bratty attitude. So what if it was on purpose,hmm?

important!: this is pure fiction, the act in this story is by my imagination and not based off true events. please do not copy the work.

a/n: OHMYYYYGOOODDDD idk why it took me so fucking long to finish this series honestly im so mad at myself help😭 but im glad that so many people liked this series, thank you so much!!❣️

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : A Bee In Your Bonnet (Part 4)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Ahhhh it's been too long!!

Dinner

We start off the episode with Benedict high as a kite, contemplating the twinkling of the candle light and comparing it to the stars. It is a true shame that we don't get to see more of Benedict's shenanigans and, ngl, I would have been here to see Colin get high, too. What a riot that would have been. You just know these two got into a ton of trouble when they were kids.

(can we get a little of this dynamic back for Season 4? Please? Thank you!)

Anyway - Colin tries to cover for his brother by stating that he told Benedict what the stars were like in Greece. And. I mean. I do think Colin spent a considerable amount of time staring up at the stars while on his travels. Because he would. The romantic soul in Colin totally would.

A little further into the scene, and we have Colin going on and on about doing something in Greece that no one from England had done in decades. What? Who knows. But he's just excited to be sharing - despite the fact that Eloise could care less, Benedict's too high to really notice and no one else is really paying that much attention.

There is one person who would be hanging onto his every word. But unfortunately, we have to keep the two of them apart because we can't narratively bring them together yet. ;)

Awww, this delightfully memeable moment of Benedict's. I think Benedict is so busy being hilariously adorable in this moment, that you can miss the utterly dopey look on Colin's face. I love it.

Btw, I think it's hilarious that Benedict spills his drink, but no one really cleans it up. We do see a servant bring around another glass of wine though.

So, in the A-story, Anthony is prepping to propose to Edwina but chickening out at the last second. And, idk, it's interesting to zero in on Colin as this is all going on. At first, he's like, anyone else really okay with what's about to happen, okay, me too, I guess. And then he laughs at the whole pall mall thing, toasts to that, and takes a drink before anyone else. Idk. I'm amused by it. And then, when Anthony deviates from his proposal, and tension is ripe, Colin's in rather good spirits as the conversation goes back to pall mall.

I don't know that he's that invested in Anthony's love life, guys. Lol.

But, okay, there is one smaller detail I need to point out. Do you see how much food is on Colin's plate? Everyone else is kind of winding down from dinner, and Colin is going in for seconds or maybe thirds. There are many differences between book!Colin and show!Colin but if there's one thing I do wish came in from the books more (and ngl, that's a rare thing for me to say) it's that Colin is a foodie. Seriously. the dude does not stop eating in the books. It's slightly alluded to in the show, but we don't see it all that often. Anyway - I do think that's apparent in this scene, though, and is a nice touch.

After Dinner

This picture is so funny. The look of 'why is this happening to me' on Colin's face is so great.

But, okay, here's the thing -- Colin comes by, and sees that Benedict is in the same 'play' room the two of them had been in earlier when drinking tea. Only, Benedict has made it into an artist's studio. It's interesting that Colin says 'are you still up' when Colin is still dressed in his formal wear. So what has Colin been up to while Benedict has been screwing around with paint?

Anyway, Benedict is still high as a kite, and needs to express his love to his dear baby brother, lol. And I swear to god, if we don't get more brother shenanigans in Season 4 than what are we even doing??

Also, the fact that Colin tells Benedict that he really should take a bath because he STINKS. It's such a throwaway line, and utterly hilarious.

Anyway... Benedict is overjoyed because now that he's let go of his inhibitions, he can truly paint! And he wants to just shower Colin with love for helping him find his true artistic spirit again.

If this isn't a picture of what sibling love looks like, then I don't even know anymore.

Colin calls Benedict a 'fatwit' but it's all good natured. If you aren't eternally annoyed by your siblings than are you even doing it right?

Eloise comes in with a letter for Benedict (does the post come that late at night??) and of course, Benedict has gotten into art school. Benedict is thrilled. I love that Colin, while very happy for his brother, can't help but throw in a tease, reminding Benedict that two seconds later, Benedict had declared the royal academy were not the arbiter's of taste. It's a jab as only siblings can give, but Colin really is thrilled for his brother.

And that's the nice thing about these Bridgertons. They keep on being supportive of each other.

Benedict decides to celebrate immediately by throwing up the window and yelling to the country side that he got in. I LOVE the looks on Colin's and Eloise's faces. (Eloise in particular -- oh, so uh, he's gonna go do that, huh? OOff, okay.) Colin looks concerned, as if Benedict is going to fall out the window or the neighbors (what neighbors??) are going to come with pitchforks.

He does get Benedict down and settled before he wakes up more than just the dog.

Btw - there's a dog barking. It's definitely not Newton. So... whose dog is it?

Anyway... Eloise claims that Benedict will now be as insufferable as Colin is. I mean, man, why is she so utterly annoyed with Colin's travel stories? Mostly, she just doesn't seem to care. Which... idk, sits at a crossroads of harsh and indifferent. She also tells him - if he loves Greece so much -- why didn't he marry it.. why did he even come back. Ouch, Eloise, you really are mean to Colin in this season, why is that?

This isn't really canon, but I'm going to headcanon that Colin's taking more of Penelope's attention away from Eloise, and she doesn't like it.

Probably, more so, is the fact that Eloise herself can't go out and have these experiences because she's a woman, and can't, and there is a slight jealousy there.

Colin does seem slightly hurt by her words though. He just wants to share his experiences with someone.

There's an abrupt subject change as Colin brings up Marina. And. You know, I'm just going to say it. This is one of the most awkward dialogue pivots in the entire show. It just feels clunky. There's no non-awkward way to bring up the subject, so they just do. Idk, it just feels weird every time I see it.

Anyway... Colin, in his attempt at a roundabout way, asks if he keeps in touch with 'Miss Thompson'. Eloise is rightfully - why the fuck are you asking about Marina -- and oh, btw, she's married so it's Lady Crane to you. And we get the set up for the next episode...

One quick note first, though, I love that Colin mentions -- 'aren't you ladies always writing letters'. I mean, sure, everyone writes letters, but Penelope sure has spoiled in him in that department. Eloise, again, is like what are you on, Colin??

But anyway -- all this time in Greece, and his using drugs as a way to forget did not have Colin closing the door on that whole Marina saga.

And. Here's my thing about Colin and Greece. He told Penelope that he went away and found himself, but I don't know that that really happened. He spent a lot of time reflecting, sure, but he spent a good deal of time wallowing in his past. Thinking about 'what ifs' and if he had just done x, y, and z differently things would be different.

If Colin had, indeed, been looking to the future, he may have been attune to the fact that Penelope was there writing him, and bringing literal joy into his life, and not dreaming up scenarios where he ends up with Marina.

Interestingly, though, Eloise does tell Colin that Marina doesn't live far from them. Maybe she has enough foresight to understand that what Colin truly needs is some closure. Because months in another land still didn't do that for him.

Meanwhile, Benedict is happy to accept his acceptance. My god, I want Colin and Eloise judgy sidebars in Season 4. Give it to me show!!!

Back in Mayfair...

The next day, we have a new Lady Whistledown that slams the new seamstress in favor of Madame Delacroix. Penelope is doing business her way, and using her column for her own gains. And, I mean, while it sucks for the next seamstress in town, Penelope is doing what she's always had to do - self preserve.

She's slightly nervous as she does, it but she confronts Madame Delacroix and reveals (slightly) that she is LW. Genevieve, smart woman that she is, has no interest in revealing her secret. But, Penelope admits that isn't why she's there.

See - as if we hadn't been clued in during the first few episodes, this little enterprise is growing, and Penelope can barely do everything on her own. So she needs help, and she believes she can trust Genevieve to help her with it. I don't know the Penelope realizes it, but Genevieve doesn't really have that much choice in the matter. LW is powerful, and Genevieve would be stupid NOT to try to help her.

But I like that Penelope takes a moment to pay her compliment. She mentions that 'in a world of men' Genevieve has made her own way, and has her own successful business. Penelope does admire that, and it's not just hollow words to get Genevieve to work with her. And it's clear that Genevieve is flattered enough to help out of the kindness of her heart, and not just because LW could bring her down.

I do love that Genevieve does bring up that she didn't necessarily like being called 'old' in the column. But Penelope was smart to do so. If she was obvious in her flattery, people would suspect that they are working together (or even that Genevieve herself was Lady Whistledown). And Penelope doesn't need to draw any more attention to herself (or her accomplices).

Penelope is young, yes, but she is wonderfully smart and the fact that she's continuing to pull this off is quite amazing. As she explains why she did what she did, a bunch of patrons come into the modiste, and Genevieve seems satisfied.

And a new business relationship is born as we wrap up this episode!

[fieldsofred]

hey i hope u know how much fun im having reading itaot... any time theres an update, or when you post a snippet, or when im just feeling like it and casually reread the whole thing, im like rolling around in bed (or kicking my feet, if at the office) having the time of my life. i visited my family for the holidays and forced my mom to listen to a whole ass retelling lmao. my boss thinks ive started seeing someone because shes been seeing me giggle secretively at my phone more than usual. all in all, 100/10, having the time of my life here.

also out of curiosity, can you share with us the inspiration behind the title? or is it something of a future plot spoiler?

Hey i hope you know that im giggling and kicking my feet and screaming

It took me forever to answer this because I have no words (which is rare for me, i usually have too many words).

I also have a secret relationship (the comments on itaot) that has me hiding my phone screen and smiling uncontrollably at work

1000/10. i adore you. i hope your mom liked your retelling <3

But genuinely, thank you for telling me this. I cannot explain how much light this brings to my day. This made my entire week. This makes me want to keep writing for the rest for the rest of my life. You have no idea the power you hold over me.

I hope you keep enjoying it as much as I am <3333

The title! I cannot explain how much i've been dreading that question. lol. okay,

short answer: its a lyric from harder to breathe by maroon 5. no deep meaning. no connection to the story.

long answer: Is There Anyone Out There? was never supposed to matter to me.

I've been writing fanfic and original stuff for an audience of one (me) for about a decade (im 23). I've never had the courage to post anything before but Ive always had the desire.

I started reading dc fanfic about six months ago and really fell in love with the fandom and the characters. I was a lurker. And then I read a jaytim fanfic with the most atrocious characterizations I have ever seen (in my personal opinion). I said 'jesus christ, i can do better than that' and started writing my own in like, idk, december i think. and then it started to occupy a little more brain space and writing time.

I remember genuinely thinking 'fuck it' when i decided to post the first several chapters at once. I didn't proof read them the way I should have and i didn't have a good solid story outline in place. I was just like, whatever. i'll give it a shot. I didn't think anyone was going to like it. Honestly, I didn't think anyone was going to even see it. I genuinely put itaot on the internet with the expectation of literally nothing happening.

ao3 said: your work must have a title.

I have a whole playlist called mom rock that was the music my mom would play in the car on the way to school or what have you. she loved maroon 5, specifically the songs about jane album. I don't love maroon 5, but I was listening to my mom rock playlist. and Harder To Breathe was playing.

Is there anyone out there,

Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

The rest of the song makes no sense and I hold no love for it. It means literally nothing to me. Just a song off of a cd my mom used to play in the truck.

But Tim, you might have noticed, feels his anxiety in his chest. Those feelings are my feelings. That sudden tightness, the weight, the suffocating in the middle of a hallway for no reason? That's all me babe

I was like, yeah, sure, that'll do. And named it is there anyone out there?

With hindsight, I might have named it something different. If I knew how much I would grow to love the story, how much it would matter to me, maybe I would have thought about the title a little bit longer.

I have miles and miles of google docs full of stories that matter to me. I have an original work that ive been working on since like 2018 that is my heart and soul in written form.

itaot wasn't supposed to matter. It was a chance to dip my toes into posting without any consequences because, who cares?

Me. I care. I care so deeply. I cannot emphasis the value that this fic holds in my life. The people that it's allowed me to interact with have been a blessing. The community that i've stumbled into is an honor to be apart of. Specifically, this ask is going to live with me for the rest of my life.

There's a phrase thats used in Ted Lasso: It's the hope that kills you

I have dreamt of being a real author my entire life. The whole time, its been a tiny thought in the back of my head, always paired with silly girl, that'll never happen!

And then I put a little fanfic that I wasn't emotionally attached to on the internet. And then I got emotionally attached to it. and then you said i'm having the time of my life and I know what that feels like to read something that makes me giggle and smile and roll around like that. that makes me feel

So now I have to live with the knowledge that the thing I accidently got so, so deeply attached to is named after a fucking maroon 5 song. and also has the power to kill me.

And now you get to know, too <3

[marchiveeee]

HSL episode 12 is so unhinged/chaotic (?) [a long post with many screenshots yayyy]

As you guys might know, we can get up to 6 illustrations on episode 12, so A LOT happens. Some of those things are very laughable, but others are not so much... I'll talk about everything in order of occurrence.

!!!: I'm sorry if "unhinged" or "chaotic" is not the right word for what I'm trying to say. although I'm confident enough in English, it's still not my 1st language. btw, i tried to post this 3 times and something always goes wrong, I'm stressed, so I'll be really happy with an interaction

btw again, if you're brazilian and would like to see this in Portuguese on Twitter or here, please let me know!!!

Mrs. Shermansky being toxic af and the exact opposite of how a good educator should act [in my opinion]

So... I get that she was worried about Candy and Castiel getting lost. But if you really think telling a teenager that the only thing they have ever done is to cause trouble is a good way to advert/encourage them to do the right thing next time is the best approach, please rethink your ways.

2. Mr. Faraize being a sweetheart, he is such a nice teacher

I'm not saying that to be a nice teacher you have to sugarcoat everything all the time and just not scold your students at all. But Mr. Faraize was so nice about it all, he just seemed happy/relieved to know his students were well and safe.

Side [angry] comment about episode 11: Bro, that race was so unorganized!!!! The least the school should have done was provide extra maps in case of accidents like the one that happened with Candy and the LI. Mr. Faraize was wrong too, he shouldn't have let Candy and the LI [in my case, Castiel] proceed after hearing that we had been fkn lost bc we lost the map and we were just wandering until we found the right track. UGH... If that happened irl with my little brother or idk any kid that happens to be in my life, I'd be so furious... ANYWAYS!

3. Born to be a star

He is loving the attention!

4. Violet, as always, being the most precious being in that school. [I'm sorry about the screenshot I used, I forgot to take others]

She's just so sweet and adorable, I want to hug her. YOU'RE NOT DUMB, BABYYYY.

4. Armin's reaction to Alexy's secret admirer

before the declaration:

after the declaration:

Honestly, I was just so happy to see that Armin didn't out his brother when he heard that a girl was interested on him. I didn't remember the details of this scene bc I was probably 12 y/o when i first played it.

5. Candy being paranoid that half of the boys at SA will turn out to be gay/not straight

This girl cracks me up istg... and why the fuck

she was just so worried to ask Castiel bc she thought he would get angry. Girl, we don't do fragile masculinity here.

6. Candy goes completely sidetracked on her CasLys fanfic just to check Lys's tattoo and witnessing one of the biggest bombs of MCL

I didn't get many screenshots from this part, because it's just sad when you know what it's all about in the end... but yeah instead of spying on Lys, Candy ends up seeing Nath's bruised body and is also caught by him.

Someone has probably done this already idrk, but I'm gathering some screenshots of moments that foreshadowed that something was just not right at Nath's and Amber's house... It'll probably take a while for me to post, but I'll try.

7. Nath being for real

He was so right for calling her dumb!!!! I think I was ranting about this on Twitter recently when I replayed the beach episode…

8. Lys’s reaction to the whole story [an icon]

I regret not taking screenshots sooner, but I was just too distracted laughing my ass off! There literally was about 2/3 scenes of just: 

Lys: 🤨[...] Candy: [Doesn’t know what to say/says something stupid] Lys: 🤨[...] Candy: [Doesn’t know what to say/says something stupid

Again, she doesn’t say anything [to get the image you need to go for this choice]

And then he shoes you his tattoo! Bro, he was SO COOL about it! If Candy had just asked nicely… But no, she has to complicate everything omg istg 

I still laughed a lot tho, I think at some point in this episode Cas said that this trait of Candy and her need to know and talk about everything is what makes her fun. I agree with him. She is annoying sometimes but definitely entertaining for the gossipers.

9. May the fanfic continue

Insert some dialogues here: Basically Cas sees Candy near them listening to their conversation and he asks what’s up. Candy approaches them and is like “uhhh…. Are you……….?” Then Castiel says:

For my mind’s sake let’s just imagine that the “offended” was not for “I’m offended you thought I was gay”, but for “I’m offended that you thought I’m dating Castiel when he’s not on my level of gentlemanliness and when I deserve so much more than this grumpy angsty tomato head” (don’t get me wrong, I love Castiel and I’d die for him, but it’s either that or think of a homophobic Lys, which I don’t think it’s the case for him)

10. Castiel shoots his 29482904 shot with Candy, but she’s stupid

Actually, one thing that I like about this scene is that it leaves open the interpretation of Castiel’s sexuality. Saying that he likes girls doesn’t necessarily mean that he is straight. I love to see that. And disclaimer: if you prefer to think that Cas is, in fact, straight, go ahead. That’s not a problem. He is not a real person and we’re allowed to imagine and speculate things, so this is just a headcanon of mine that he might be bi/pan or just simply not straight.

11. Amber and Kentin kiss

That alone is just unhinged and chaotic. I don’t need to say much. 

BUT I’M SO GLAD HE IS BACK!!! He’s gonna be a little shit for a while, because I think my Candy lost some points with him bc of a wrong choice after he left, but that’s fine! I MISSED HIM!!!

----

I hope you had fun with this little throwback!

[kanmom51]

JK's live 30 June 2023 12:38 am KST

30.6.2023 12:38 or 00:38 KST

cr./to the creators of the media used in this post.

Before I start talking about the live itself and Seven, of course, let's look for just a second, again, for the fun of it, at the numbers.

12:38 or 00:38 is the time JK started the live.

Do you see what those 2 numbers give us? Side by side?

1 2 3 and 8 and then 3 and 8. Does that help?

123

and

8/11

Do I think he did this on purpose? The 123 yeah, I see that. But the other part, nah? Just a usual lovely stars aligning Jikook coincidence I guess, lol.

Oh, and we also have 12:38 that gives us a 2+8=10 and the 1 and 3 that give us the 13, so:

13/10

So, not too too much happened during the live. JK came, talked a little tiny bit about his upcoming single, working on an album and a little more too, worked out, was his own cute self and dipped.

That was that in a nutshell.

Now let's dive in a little deeper.

JK talked about Seven. Well, telling us it's coming out on the 14 July and that he's excited about it.

There is an album in the works, but not finalized just yet.

Oh, and the MV, it's a wrap, and was fun. Now I'm truly curious.

I did talk about the song not being written by him in my previous post. He heard it with BPD and said he wants to do it a lot. His words.

He heard it, he liked it, he wanted to do it. Not personal, not a life story.

Doesn't mean the lyrics didn't 'speak' to him in a sense. Didn't mean something to him. You can feel connected to a song that isn't written by yourself. But it is something to keep in mind when we hear the song, watch the MV and see the lyrics, lol.

Just side tracking here for a sec to this:

CP says it's sooooo good. I'm gonna trust him on this.

Question I have right now is: Is JM becoming JK's spoiler king?

JK misses Jin and Hobi.

He got a new lip piercing.

What I love about that man is that he's so aware. He knows there are those that do not approve (you know, those idiots that think they have ownership over him or a right to tell him what to do). And yet, he doesn't give a shit. He wanted it, he did it. If they want to accept it they will, if they don't sucks for them. And the thing is that when he says it, he does it so nicely and respectfully. I LOVE IT!!!

He told us he's taking English lessons.

As a matter of fact, he had one just before starting the live.

Funny how both JK and JM seem to be studying English at night.

Remember this?

You know, must be one of those Jikook coincidences.

Nah. Fuck that. They are studying English together. Period.

JK talks about doing intermittent dieting, so he bought snacks but can't eat them just yet.

JK wanting to share but blanking out, lol.

Well, he didn't give us a spoiler, but we did get the next best thing, lol.

We get full JK workout.

Gotta love army edits (some at least, lol)

Poor baby hurt himself.

That was quite a workout.

Well, working out can be alone or together. There are many forms of working out... Does he really want us to wonder all of that?

The duality of this man.

And then.

I absolutely adore that JK has no problem what so ever that we see him like this. No makeup, every hair possible out of place, tired, sleepy, drunk, sad, happy, just bare.

He trusts us to see him bare.

Writing those lines, that sentence, idk why, it brings tears to my eyes.

He's not afraid to be himself. Take it or leave it. Yes, he plays the part of the idol, but he isn't afraid to show us him, a real human being just like us (just way prettier and sexier and more talented and more intelligent and in better shape), as much as he can under the circumstances of being an idol and a celebrity.

How can we not LOVE this young man?

JK ending the live.

So, not so much going on during this live.

I wrote this post based on the translations available. Of course I will watch the live translated and come back with corrections if be needed.

This to me felt more like a scheduled live for him, less one he just wanted to do, to keep connected with us or to convey a message that doesn't have to do with his own promotions (you get what I'm saying). And it makes sense it was pretty much scheduled, given the announcement of his single release. But who cares? We got us some cute ass JK. Just seeing him warms my heart. I assume it has the same effect on you.

I'll leave you with an amusing take on JK's live.

[kaycode1999]

Hi! So, tbh I had a hard time choosing but I think I would go with Transformers Animated 2007, mainly bc THE AUTOBOTS ARE SO TINY 🤧

And overall it's a great twist to the story

(Although if you want to just pick whichever universe would suit me best)

Anyways, onto my personality:

I consider myself to be very outgoing and extroverted with a slight fear of confrontation (Be it known, if my guts tell me to run I'm out of there). Many people also say that my presence is extremely hard to ignore, that they relate me to the color yellow and I'm easy to spot on the crowd (probably bc I speak loudly and don't stop). I also like to see the nice in everyone and everything, and I am hopeful for stuff to change for the better.

On the downside, while I tend to be very happy overall, I have big moodswings where If I'm reminded of a big insecurity of mine (my weight, for example) I can get sad immediately. Also doesn't help that I'm a daydreamer and overthink a lot. Honesty would be a very important for there to be comunication in the relationship, although It's very easy to tell whenever I'm upset since I become cold and shut up.

In general, I do a lot of Physical contact (ofc, I ask first if the other person is comfortable with hugs and stuff) and like complimenting my partner.

Should also mention that I'm responsible but not organized, very carefree and silly

I like history (mostly Movements for the rights of the people, be it for the POC community, Lgbtq+, workers, etc), swimming, astrology and hearing people talk about their interests.

My dream aesthetic is a mix between cottagecore and Overly feminine clothes, I LOVE Pink and Orange, they are my favorite colors ♡

Although I tend to have problems with taking care of myself (I believe it's because of my adhd, but I'm getting better at it :D)

My pronouns are She/They, I'm a demigirl, demisexual and demiromantic, and have to get to meet people for me to fall in love.

My type would include people who like to tease (like compliment a lot just to watch the other person blush), people with many hobbies and have a sense of helping others. Bonus points if they ramble about their interests and we can have discussions about themes like History or personal morals.

Who I don't want: (Idk if they are included or not but just to be safe) none of the children please, also not anyone who is a hypocrite or coward bc not my type :/

I match you with

TFA Prowl

He is more on the introvert side though he converses with people easily. His personality works well with extroverted people as his calming presence brings a nice balance.

As I said he has a very calming personality so you don't really have to worry about confrontation with him

He adores your positive outlook and sweet nature. It’s one of the reasons he fell for you to begin with.

The good thing about him being calm means that he's able to handle any mood swings or sadness you might have. He's very good at helping you through it and making you feel better.

If you're feeling insecure he’ll always make sure you know how much he loves you and that he thinks you’re absolutely beautiful

Because he really does think you're gorgeous. He’s from Cybertron so he doesn't understand the issues you have with your body at first. But he's very intuitive so he quickly begins to understand that human society makes people feel bad for not having the exact body types they deem acceptable so he understands why you feel and react the way you do

Communication with him is very easy and he's also very in tune with you. Most of the time he's gonna know how you're feeling before you even say it

He’ll give you space if you need it, or if you just want him to be there with you he'll do that too. Whatever you need

He's not used to physical contact at first but he likes it if its with you

He helps keep you organized and you also help him loosen up and have fun

He is fascinated by human history so please talk with him about all of it because he is eager to learn and he is all about furthering the rights of marginalized people

He's been to space so he'd be happy to tell all about what he's seen and learned

He doesn't want to nag you to take care of yourself like he's your parent or something. So instead he will help you to find products or ways of doing things that will help you

We've seen how he is with Bumblebee so he is definitely someone who likes to tease, but with you it's more flirty. If you tease/flirt with him he's definitely a flustered mess, but he’ll turn around and do the same to you

[hyunestrella]

★༉‧₊˚✧ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑 . EPILOGUE .

★༉ SUMMARY. Growing up you were never shown exactly what the correct example of unconditional love, leading you to believe it wasn’t real, and simply did not exist. So why was this kinda nerdy guy making you feel things you never knew existed?

★༉ PAIRING. Han Jisung x AFAB! Reader.

— warnings. fluff. i haven’t proofread this so idk:

— ss count. 2

— notes. & that’s the end!! i’m so happy that i finally got to share this project with all of you who was willing to read. if you didn’t know this fic is severely self indulgent, almost every aspect of the fic has been taken from my life in some shape or form so it is incredibly important to me. thank you so much for reading, and i hope that you can take a lesson from my story, and if not i hope you had some sort of entertainment from it. you are incredibly loved, always remember that!

— notes. with that being said, feel free to check out any extras that i have added to the masterlist, and check out my other works too! thank you for reading <3

previous masterlist end

It had been a few months since you had gone on your first date with Jisung. It was a cute, quiet date that truly embodied his extroverted introvert personality; the two of you sat, watching his favourite shows with him pausing them every fifteen minutes to talk about the plot for about half an hour.

Since then, the two of you continued to go on dates, taking the time to get to know, and learn to love each other. On one of the many dates, Jisung had asked you to be his partner, he expressed that his fondness, his adoration for you had blossomed into love and he wanted to continue to explore that beautiful feeling with you. The floodgates hit, tears falling as you nodded, happy to finally become Jisung’s girl. Once you had calmed down, you explained to him that you couldn’t say that you loved him just yet, you were thankful for his patience with you.

In present time, you were getting ready for yet another date with your boyfriend. It was your treat this time, having planned something with the staff from the restaurant you were planning to take him to. Facetime was open on your phone, your two best friends sat watching the nerves and excitement flowing through your veins as you got into your glam.

“I don’t understand why you’re getting all dolled up, Y/N, Jisung already loves you as you are.” Minnie muttered off camera, sounds of cluttering leaving the speakers of your phone. “All this to drop the bomb on him as well.”

You watched in amusement as Kai rolled his eyes, muting Minnies mic, “do you think I should cancel then?” You asked, looking in the mirror, checking over your eyeshadow, before looking back at the camera.

“No!” The blonde huffed messing with his freshly blonde hair. “I think it’s cute.” He smiled, putting his phone down for a moment to pull his hood over his head, fed up with his hair. “Plus, it’s been a while since you dressed up — you look nice!”

At his words, Minnie unmuted herself as well as turning on her camera to a view of her cooking. “I agree,” she spoke loud over the sound of boiling water. “Also I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I just meant that Jisung’s homebody self would literally be thrilled to have you say it on the comfort of his sofa.”

You hummed at her words, you knew it was true, Jisung would be ecstatic to have you tell him that you loved him anywhere, however, you felt like you needed to treat him to this — to show him how much your love ran deep for him, to show him how much you appreciated him.

With a text from Jisung letting you know he was on his way, you hung up the facetime call slipping into your outfit of the night. You were ready on time, able to take a few pictures before your boyfriend arrived with a bouquet of your favourite flowers for you, helping to place them in a vase before the two of you headed out.

The restaurant you had taken him to was a semi-fancy restaurant. The layout was quite nice, and yet odd at the same time — the kitchen was downstairs, meaning the staff had to walk up and down stairs with many plates in their hands, along with the toilets, and a little photo booth that you’d definitely drag Jisung into later. The bar was beautiful, many different alcohol lined up across the shelves, the hanging lights above giving it a warm welcoming glow.

When you and Jisung had been seated, you talked him through the menu, letting him know what you thought he’d might like and what he’d might not. “I’ll just have whatever it is you’re having,” he smiled at you, pushing his glasses further up his nose. You smiled back at him, ordering for the both of you when the waitress had come over.

Your plan for this evening was to happen after dinner, before dessert and you were shuffling in your seat in excitement. When you had finished both your starter and your main course, a member of staff had come to grab you about your surprise — making it seem like there was an issue. “Do you want me to come with you?” Jisung blinked, getting ready to stand and defend you in case he needed to, but you brushed him off saying that you’d be okay and you won’t be too long.

When you came back, you tried to hide the smile on your face looking down at the plate in your hand. “Sungie?” You asked softly, gaining his full attention. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt something like this before, especially not for another person. All my life I’ve only accepted what I thought was love, from family, ex friends, ex boyfriends, they all led me to believe that the fairytale, unconditional love did not exist. And then I met you.”

You took in a deep breath before continuing, “You’ve changed my life for the better Sung and I that’s why I know I can say it, and mean it.” With that, you placed down the plate that you had been holding. The plate had ‘I love you’ written on it with white chocolate sauce, a few berries in one of the corners, and flower petals in the opposite.

“I love you, Jisung. I love you so much I want to be better for you, I want to protect you, I want to see your smile everyday. I love you so much seeing you upset makes me feel upset, it makes me want to wrap you up in a hug and never let you go. I love you so much that I’m excited to wake up in the morning, I’m excited remembering that I’m yours and you’re mine. I love you so much it’s a little overwhelming sometimes.”

When you paused, you heard a sob from the other side of the table. You looked up to see tears slowly falling from Jisung’s waterline, his teeth biting his lower lip. He stood up, walking to your side of the table, his hands finding purchase on your cheeks as he pulled you in for a kiss.

Jisung’s lips were soft against yours as the moulded together, proving even further that you were made for one another. When he pulled away, he laughed softly and you blinked slightly dazed, “That’s the first time you’ve ever said it…” he muttered, sniffling.

“I know.”

“I’m happy you said it.” He smiled down at you, sitting back down in his seat, grabbing your hand, intertwining your fingers, “I love you too, sweetheart.”

You smiled bashfully, looking down at your hands, “thank you for never giving up on me Jisung. Thank you for being patient with me, despite all I put you through, and for helping me on my journey of healing. Thank you for loving me.”

chapter fourteen — epilogue.

previous masterlist end

★༉‧₊˚✧ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

@liknws , @l3visbby , @hyunverse , @sunboki , @choiwonder , @nebulousbookshelf , @cosmic-railwayxo , @sunshinesquokka , @jiisungllvr , @shakalakaboomboo , @viviixlyy , @thediaryofalover , @fxckingshame , @lovestayforev , @skz-streamer , @dollschan

@chengmeiauau , @hanjisunginc , @lolob , @vixensss , @ivyannemarie , @lixie-phoria , @notsomono , @ylixbok , @m1ngismile , @bbygrlhannie , @skzpvol , @ch4nn13luv , @whyisaah , @fiqire , @aalexyuuuhm , @theblindhag , @ecliiipsee

© @hyunestrella 2023.

[fictionfixations]

all the sad tales

penacony + aventurine spoilers

the wiki probably contains this but for my own sake i need to keep this somewhere.

(it'll be in bold. what im not sure on will not be in bold)

(The murmurs near your ears grow louder, more booming. You can even see another ████ ████████. Let's hope you can hold on until the moment you step onto the stage of the amusement park.)

(whited out parts are parts i cant decipher yay)

im going to try my hardest not to miss anything because i really like aventurine and i want to take my time with this. but i also sometimes have a really short attention span or get too immersed in something that i forget everything else so like...

(You ████████ ██ ██ █ ██████ discovered a strange child -- He seems to hail from the Avgin origins(?)... Weren't they already wiped out?)

(need to stop sprinting. i keep noticing breakable objects or chest so then i sprint towards them and im going to end up missing something instead of just heading straight into activating more of the story)

bby kakavasha runs so fast oh my god (its kind of sad to imagine that he can run so fast probably to run away from well yknow...)

(You are completely entranced by the Avgin boy. Just who is(?) he? There's still time. Maybe you can catch up to him and ask him exactly what █████████.) (happened?) (the extra whited out part on just who --- is probably a space. otherwise it could be was but hm.)

(im going to cry if i miss checking it because an enemy is chasing after me and i run headfirst into story. yes i am a coward who doesnt like starting battles if i can help it. makes me wish i had acheron but id honestly never use her in battle unless i had someone to regenerate skill points considering i have 5 star dan heng, so other attack ppl on team dont get much attention, and i dont really know how to use her beside tehcnique insta kill?? does that mean i can whip out a lvl 1 acheron and it works??)

dont plan on talking about the dialogue too much (i saw multiple people go through the story before i started ngl) but (also aventurine boss creeping up on me... i literally only have one person on team who attacks multiple at a time, and no one else outside of the team is as built)

LISTEN. have you SEEn hyenas playfighting its fucking adorable. call someone a hyena, i call it a compliment.

i missed the first piece of text... i forgot...

(*Ride the Pinball Machine)

still the same

i dont know why but the puzzles in penacony make me lag so bad. the puzzles, the pinball machine, or that dreamweaver thing. bruh.

(*Win the Hide and Seek game and find the Avgin boy)

anyway from what im understanding you can tell how many letters are missing because its as many characters as a character is missing. whenever ive blacked out text i never do that cause its so much bigger than the original text (i do one block for every two letters ngl. but i also dont do it with the intention of people deciphering what it says)

(*Play the roll of █████ film) (wound?)

i dont know film terms enough to even decipher what it could be. it could be color. black. white.

wound? wound as in rolling? like uh uh. past tense of wind. like winding up a roll. a wound roll. cause the description of wounds.. it could be related to his family. or..

I MISSED IT AGAIN 'there is only water, not rock' or something like that

(*Leave the maze)

(*Check the things you(?) lost)

i cant decipher this one 😭. you??? (Leave the maze you(?) █o) but i dont know what would make sense of it then. idk.

oh fuck i forgot to check the objective. its. probably the same as the other one for when finding a 'lost' object but like...

AGHHH wiki came in clutch

(*Check the lost things and memories)

(*Escape escape(?) the maze escape(?) the past/last(?) escort(?)) (this is a lot of 'idk')

(Failure discarded selfish useless pointless coward murderer gambler blessed discarded loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's beloved crazy murderer blessed failure discarded loser pointless coward murderer chosen-one selfish fool(?) blessed discarded loser chosen-one you(?) loser discarded pointless coward(?) murderer gambler blessed █isc█████ useless loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's blessed/beloved(?) loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser ████ ████ ███████████ ███ ██████ █████ █ ██ ████ █)

there might be way more losers then there should be because my eyes were getting confused. and also more of the blacked out character

this line right here makes me wonder why he's still in the IPC after like the end of 2.2 (..im pretty sure 2.3 is the next update)

my brain power is failing on me idk what this one is

im going to turn my settings to max for the picture because its so fucking pixel-y. im going to try to save it before my pc crashes.

my one complaint: the taking a picture function that continues the story disappears when you get close to kakavasha. so i cant take a photo with him and continue the story.,

whatever.where the fuck is the screenshot folder im crying

oh my god the LAUNCHER? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNow after i go through the star rail folder > games folder > starrail_data folder > screenshots

thats way too many folders for me to even notice 😭

second image cuz yes

I RAN PAST THE TEXT AGAIN

'there'll be one beside you' or something im sorry my memory is shit short term i already forgot

I MISSED MORE OF THE FLOATING TEXT 😭😭

'over plains, endless'

'into cracked earth, stumbling'

im stressed so im getting distracted

ARE YOU READY KIDS? I CANT HEAR YOUUU. WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

"So run, Kakavasha, do not be afraid, and do not look back."

now go back and reread the previous quest thing.

okay thats it i think

[sirsealery]

GOD I FUCKING HATE AI. im so sick and tired of ai garbage popping up everywhere. disrespectfully, get that shit OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE. do not show up, on my goddamn screen, in my house, GET OUT. im sick of my loved ones getting baited by ai generated nonsense and im sick of getting my sites flooded by it.

ai does not make the arts 'more accessible'. the whole POINT of art is that you put time, effort and LOVE into it. there is no love in a machine. its disgusting and such a disrespect to everyone who has ever invested themselves in their craft. hundreds and thousands and thousands of years of people making art, drawing, writing, making music, dancing. idk about ai dancing but all of the others especially.

and i fucking hate the argument 'oh but im not as good as the ai!1!!1!!" im not the greatest artist ever. im not a master of my crafts, and THATS OKAY. im a young writer and musician, ive spent most of my life writing, ive been writing since i knew how. ive been playing my instrument for almost as long as i can remember, and i still suck! and its okay!!! but ive spent so much of my time, years and years of practice, into my arts. im better than i was when i started, every year i look back on my works and i can feel proud of my progress. my fanfiction has improved so much since my warrior cat days, and i imagine so many of the wattpad writers back in 2014 can feel the same. everyone sucks in the beginning, and its fine! it means we're growing and improving.

but making ai art and generating ai fanfiction and making fucking ai songs (never in my life would i have thought)? thats disgusting. not only is it detrimental to the environment, but youre STEALING other peoples work for a robot to rip it to shreds and mishmash it together. and so often these ai fanfictions are taken from actual fanfiction, that people write for FREE out of the love they have for the media or community. ive written fanfiction since before i knew what it was, because i loved the book series i was reading so much, i wanted to make my own stories and use the world and express my absolute adoration for the original series in my creative, 6 or 7 year old way. i wrote it on scrap paper in pencil and doodled my characters in crayon and then went off to practice my instrument for an hour. no shit i was ass at all three of those things, but over time, ive improved. and you will too, if you put just a little bit of time and effort every day/as often as you can.

anyways, before i went off on a tangent, (sorry) but SO many fanfiction writers are so, so incredibly talented. i know dozens of amazing fic writers and im even lucky enough to get to know a couple personally. fanfiction and fanart is about community, and to steal somebodys work for- for what purpose?? because youre too lazy to make your own? fuck, nobody cares! draw like shit! write like shit! post it online, maybe get some hate, improve or give up, but either way, you HAVE to learn the appreciation for the people who are amazing at what they do! i have friends who are brilliant artists, and i cant draw myself, so watching them is like watching magic. watching them furrow their brow while trying to decide between two shades of blue that i cant tell the difference between, watching them draw effortlessly smooth lines, why would you want a robot to do that? the beauty of it is the love put in, and the insane amount of effort put into making them this good. five years ago, i thought my best friend was an amazing artist. time has passed, shes improved infinitely, and i feel so incredibly proud of her because i know that shes spent so much of the last five years doing art to get better. and i know that in five years she'll be even better! art is a journey of hard work progress and ai simply can never replicate that. to make any kind of ai 'art' is to disrespect the people that worked so fucking hard to get here. you cant take shortcuts on this, you can work hard and youll improve faster, but theres no ladder to the top! you can make as many ai images and ai textwalls as you want, but it doesnt make you an artist.

"oh but i want the results/make content for my ocs/fav characters/WHATEVER now without having to put years into it!" yeah, we all do, youre not fucking special. but effort is the human existence, so shut the fuck up and either learn to do it, pay someone to do it (AND APPRECIATE THEM.), or suffer with ideas in your head and no way to express them like god intended. if you want fanfiction, get on ao3 goddamnit. its free.

maybe youre older than twelve years old, and your writing isnt good, your drawing isnt good, your music isnt good. who fucking cares? cringe is dead. do art. its never too late to start, and i think i speak for everybody when i say we'd much rather have 'bad' new artists and writers than have a single more piece of ai slop.

(sorry for this long ass rant/vent where i basically repeat myself a dozen times, love you all and never stop doing art)

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[elvhenmage]

rambling thoughts abt dav after beating it in three and a half days (this will contain spoilers):

no kissing davrin whenever i want??? criminal. i miss being able to go up and chat with my companions in general

also idk if it’s just a davrin thing but the romance line wasss… i dunno. not as like, prevalent? as i wanted, i think. but i enjoyed it very much, i do adore him. i just would’ve liked a pet name or a second kiss scene at least

base combat gameplay is fun. i started to learn combos in my last ~four hours of gameplay but i think i like it too. but i don’t like how companions won’t use abilities unless i tell them to

goddamn i love the sprinting. this bitch hauls ass. the jumping and mantling is a little stiff sometimes but not enough to really bother me

the horror of the blight and of ghilan’nain in general!!! oh man. the blight is so disgusting and i love it. she is such a damn freak. they could’ve gone farther with it but i loved what we got

being able to pinpoint exactly when solas is thinking and then lying to rook is so delicious. when he said “if you help me defeat elgar’nan, i promise the veil will not collapse by my hand” or whatever i was like hmm. weird phrasing. and then to find out killing elgar’nan will bring down the veil?? i love it. what a fucking bastard

companions are good. found myself enamored by all of them in different ways. their individual quests felt like a LOT going on that i didn’t understand at first but i got used to it

this felt very high stakes even before my companions started actually dying in my doomed run. dai didn’t feel high stakes to me, but this did. maybe seeing the devastation from the blight made it feel more personal or something? idk

really big fan of being able to witness party banter by finding companions chatting around the lighthouse. and companions cheering you on in battle :) nice touches that make them feel interconnected ykwim

i stand by what i said years ago about wanting this to be a dual protagonist game. i think it could’ve benefited from more inquisitor but i also get how that could’ve been overwhelming and detrimental to rook’s story

oh my god also can we talk about southern thedas getting absolutely fucking destroyed?? that’s insane. when they said our choices in the south wouldn’t matter bc we’re in the north i didn’t think they meant the south would get wiped off the fucking map 😭 the inquisitor never catches a fucking break

getting to encourage nailah to take solas back was super cool and you know i jumped on that shit but the highlight of that scene for me personally was nailah then turning on elowen like “so tell me about DAVRIN” <3 it fit so well into the little backstory i had planned for elowen and nailah

i HATE the menu system. i put over forty hours into this run and by the end of it i was still hitting the button to close the map instead of swapping from local to world. i also don’t know why they put ability selection on the main character page instead of on the skill tree page, but i must’ve been playing for twelve hours before i found out how to swap that fucking thing 😭

speaking of the skill tree. i was right to be intimidated by that when it dropped bc what the fuck is going on in there. there are SO many options and it makes even less sense to only allow three at a time. i was leveling up like a motherfucker to the point that i wouldn’t even look at the skill tree until i had like five points to spend

i like what they did with inventory and gear. companions having set gear/weapons reminded me of da2 and it was much easier to manage vs having 7382 weapons to sell at the end of a section from looting every kill. that said, a LOT of armors for rook are ugly as fuck lmfao. it was kinda crazy going into the endgame with all my companions in their gorgeous legendary armor while i was in my simple dalish wraps

major endgame spoiler here but that’s on you if you’re still reading past the readmore: why the fuck did they make the one canonical and unavoidable companion death between harding and davrin. the amount of people that are going to kill him because harding has history in dai or because they just don’t like him is going to be obscene.

lavellan leaving the south to do whatever it’s gonna do to go with solas into the fade to seek further atonement is WIIILDDDD. i love you nailah. you are insane. who the fuck is going to take care of southern thedas <- this will never matter bc i fear bioware doesn’t care

why did it take so long to get all the companions??? was that just me or did anyone else feel like it took a thousand years to get the full party?

ok that’s enough outta me (for now). i’m gonna browse my mutuals’ blogs and then watch courtney play dav :)

[unnursvanablog]

I took a mental health day today (my first one in a while) because sometimes when one works in the school system you can only do so much before you get overwhelmed and overworked and… you know become so mean and irritable because you have to constantly stay on top of things (because some other people don't) and you don't sleep for almost two days that you say fuck you to monday and decide to stay at home and watch some tv in peace and try to get prepare yourself to get some actual sleep tonight (I am going to the doctors on Wednesday to get a refill on my sleep medication and talk about my anxiety… it will be fine). So I watched both Jeongnyeon: The Star is Born and A Virtuous Business.

If not I might have waited a little longer to start ether one of these because I don't want to cram to much tv onto my schedule at a time because I just find myself getting overwhelmed if I do so and then I just don't finish. I also want to continue on with the newest season of Only Murders in the Building and catching up on What We do in the Shadows.

But this is a post about Jeongnyeon: The Star is Born. The other one will come later. I do apologize if the writing is even more shit on this post than usual because I am so drowsy.

I had read a bit about how the wlw romance that was apparently in the comic it is based on was removed or censored (boooooooo) and to be honest you can totally see that it used to be a gl drama because the admiration and fawning over so many of the girls, especially Moon Ok-Gyeong and so on (and it just the all girls theater setting… like of course there are queer people there), is sort of telling. They fawn over her in the same way that every female character almost fawns over the male lead in a romance drama just to establish to the audience that yes this is the desirable one sort of thing. I find that very entertaining and refreshing in a way.

I would not call in queerbaiting. It's more just hinted at. It's more so queer-coded or that is what it feels to me. They can't show us the GL but it's there wink wink there is going to be some handholding and intense gazing into someone's eyes along the way but we might not get a kiss.

And I do find that interesting. I am frustrated that they caved in and censored or removed the romance (and apparently the main character was based on Kim Taeri's character in The Handmaiden is kinda iconic now that the Kim Taeri is playing her) but I also don't want to fault the drama too much for it, idk.

The story is a very ordinary fish out of water or an underdog story about this rough around the edges little county bumpkin that get's whisked away to the big city to chase her dreams. The girls at the school don't seem to like her and want to sort of bully her out and there seems to be a very hidden secret about her mother looming under the surface of the plot and that is presented a bit heavy handedly in the first episodes as we are establishing the setting and creating some tension and dynamics between the characters.

But Jeong nyeon quest to prove herself and hitting in big in order to provide a better life for her family and not wanting to give up so easily because she can't admit defeat because she ran away from home in order to do this does feel earnest and tugs at your heartstrings. And a good underdog story about chasing your dreams does just naturally get's me in the feels.

The drama is filled with amazing cast and it's shot absolutely beautifully. I love the vintage feel of it, I adore the styling and the sets of this era. With every shot I am just going 'wow, this is stunning' and I genuinely had a lovely time watching it. It held my attention the whole way through and felt engaging and just lovely. It feels quite mellow and it's not too heavy on ether the comedy or the drama but has almost this slice-of-life youth-drama feel to it which I enjoyed as well. And I am genuinely interested in how the story will develop and where they will be taking it.

[wynnyfryd]

re: the ask where another anon said they felt the fandom dying

hi! i watched the entire show for the first time about 2 weeks ago (at the ripe age of 19, sue me) and ohhhhhh my god. oh my GOD. im obsessed and this is the first fandom ive ever been interested that wasnt totally dead and im SO glad there are authors and artists active and making things!! im probably abt to binge read all of your stuff after reading the trailer park au (which i adore btw. please tell me there will be more.) idk what the fandom was like before, but i just started writing my first steddie fic and im so happy theres a community that seems nice and fairly active <33

YOU PRECIOUS LITTLE BEAN THIS IS SO CHARMING I’M SO CHARMED.

ahem.

if you’ll allow me to be one of those annoying old people having a crisis about the passage of time for a hot second, this message just got me thinking about the 14yo version of me who was first discovering fandom and fanfic on ff.net, and what a fucking revelation that was to a lonely bookish young dweeb. to realize that you could just… add? whatever you want?? any story you love, you can just take it and make it your own personal barbie doll and no one can tell you what not to do??? incredible. absolutely delightful. and you’re so much closer to that girl than i am now on the timeline and i’m- i’m—! 😭😭

i’m being so aggressively 30 about this lmao i’m sorry. local woman is spoken to by a youth and has an all lowercase meltdown about it. more at 9.

anyway, welcome. there’s definitely a thriving group of clever, passionate, and talented creators in this fandom; honestly there are too many writers and artists i admire on this site to even begin to name them all, but here’s a couple you can check out to start (my blog is also full of art and fic recs, and you can find some fantastic writers through the @steddiemicrofic challenge): @aidaronan @thefreakandthehair @palmviolet @eddywoww @maikaartwork @inklessletter @cranberrymoons @bpillustrated

(to answer your question, yes, there will be more of the trailer park au. current plan is to write a new part each day until i have enough for a chapter, then publish the chapter on ao3; rinse and repeat through the end of nanowrimo and see where that gets me. so far i’m finding it a lot easier to stay focused on a single continuous story when i write in little daily snack bites like this, but we’ll see how the rest of the experiment goes 🤷‍♀️ i’m having fun with the story for now, so that’s really all that matters.)

…jesus christ, i wrote you a novella my absolute bad

- wynn 🦇

[whispers-of-lilith]

Lilith, who're your top 8 One Piece loves?

Star! Hi & thank you for popping in 🥺 Honestly, I had to think about this for a hot minute bc my brain has been hard focused on JJK lol.

Buckle up, bc this is going to be a long ass ride.

Liliths Top 8 One Piece Loves

Silvers "Dark King" Rayleigh

While I do love young Rayleigh when he was in his "prime", I will always choose older Rayleigh. It's no secret that this man definitely slept around at some point in his life. Not only does he have experience, but he knows exactly how to utilize all the skills he's learned over the years.

Rayleigh has stamina for days [ie. when his ship sank & he casually swam to Amazon Lily], he knows how to please, how to edge, etc. He could fuck me for days, to where I couldn't walk, but he wouldn't even have broken a sweat.

He seems like a fun person to be around & honestly I could see myself spending nights sitting in his lap while he drinks & tells stories of all the crazy shit he's done.

Dracule Mihawk

Ah, the dark, broody man who lives alone on an island. Literally my ideal type, bc dealing with people is hard & I'd rather spend my days on a rainy island in a massive castle.

I've probably said this one too many times, but whenever it rains I always have the urge to get railed by Mihawk next to the fireplace in his library. You just know he has a plush rug in front of it & if you bother him enough while he's reading? Best be prepared because he's going to teach you a lesson & you sure as shit can't finish until he finishes the chapter he's reading.

We could just enjoy the quiet together, I'm okay with spending time with someone even if we're doing our own thing.

Shanks

Shanks is like the golden retriever to my black cat. He doesn't take life too seriously [unless the situation calls for it & fuck if he isn't sexy when he's serious]. He knows how to have fun & would probably have the easiest time relaxing me simply by just cuddling with me.

Another man who clearly sleeps around, but knows exactly what he's got & how to please. I'm easily embarrassed & Shanks loves to embarrass, it's just in his nature.

I will always be a blushing, stuttering mess when it comes to this man's charms & I wouldn't have it any other way.

Benn "Big Dick" Beckman

You can't really have Shanks without Benn, or Benn without Shanks for that matter. Where Shanks throws caution to the wind, Benn is there to keep his ass in line.

He's gruff, stoic at times, doesn't seem to talk much, but will go feral when it comes to protecting something or someone he loves. Also, if you couldn't tell by the title I gave him, I just know this man is HUGE.

I'd melt if he called me "princess", "kitten", "pet" or anything along those lines and it's always a bonus when he follows it with a smirk. I'm down for a good railing sesh whenever he gets frustrated with Shanks [which is often].

[I just need to be eifle towered by Shanks & Benn, it'd probably solve 90% of my problems]

Charlotte Katakuri

Clearly I like the quiet / strong type if this list is any indication. Let's get the obvious out of the way first, Katakuri can & will split me in half with that dick & if that's how I go– then so be it.

I love a man with tattoos & have you seen his body?? Absolute perfection. Don't mess with the people he loves unless you have a death wish, he can & will obliterate you on sight if you do.

When he's not going feral in battle, his quiet & calculating personality is precious. He seems like the type to be easily flustered & I'd love to push him a bit so I could see his little blush. Idk he's just precious & adorable & needs to be protected at all costs.

[Ps. Would climb him like a koala]

Trafalgar Law

I loved him before I even met him in the anime. Fell for the scrungly, tired, lanky man seated on a box in Saboady. I even went as far as to cosplay a fem!Law for one of my first cons.

Again, another broody, quiet, tired man to add to my list. We're literally one in the same, we hyperfixate on things & neither of us sleep. So I know he'll always be awake at 3am to listen to me ramble about all the stupid facts I know.

Also, tbh, the tattoos do something for me. I mean, watching as his death tattoos disappear inside with each stroke? Fuck. Jsjdjajsbbxjsj. He is another one that flusters easy, but if you push him too far he 100% lets his dom side out.

Sir Crocodile

Sir Crocodile, hng. Money laundering? My man would never [yes he would & we live well bc of it, so no I'm not snitching]. I could sit in his lap like a perfect little kitten, whether he's sitting in on meetings or just enjoying a cigar, just lemme me on the big mans lap.

Lo said it best earlier, the rings. THE RINGS AND MAKING YOU CLEAN THEM JAHDUSJHAJAI. To be dominated by him would be a dream, he's so smug & cocky & ugh.

I would be his little princess, my self respect would go out the window. He 100% showers you with gifts just bc he can & he loves when you wear things he's bought you.

King [Alber]

Oh, what do you know, another quiet, strong, stoic man... see a theme here? Another man who would split me in half & I'd say thank you for doing so.

Just. His hair. His wings. His face tattoo. Everything about him was perfectly sculpted from the heavens & simply looking at him makes my day better.

On days when it's cold he could wrap us both in his wings & I'd fucking melt into a puddle. He's the type of man to be cold towards others, except for the person he loves & I'm all here for it.