#idk how long they'll let me keep this one

[phyrestartr]

Deal With It | Gojo Satoru x M!Reader (TEASER)

CW: Arranged marriage, SELF-HARM (on and off-screen), hurt/comfort, angst, drama, self-loathing, blood and gore, implied depression, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation #NSFW, probably top Gojo, probably bottom reader, maybe switch idk, idek if they'll bang it out tbh lol, angst with a happy ending, reader is a sorcerer, time skips, time progression, relationship development, student era into teacher era Note: I got this request to make a story revolving around Gojo and an arranged marriage to the reader (but bro is in love with Getou sob.gif), and I've been RUMINATING on it for forever. I think I finally have a good idea of who the reader is/what their chemistry is like with Gojo, so I'm happy to post a wee bit of a teaser to motivate myself! Let me know your thoughts---I'm finding that I absolutely love writing for Gojo, so I'm down to write more LOL. He's a very fun, complex character.

Deal With It

“So, you really don’t care what he thinks?” Shoko asked as you lit her cigarette. “Even I think he was kinda harsh.”

You pocketed your lighter and leaned back against the cold stone of the college walls. “He’s got a thing for that black-haired guy.”

“Getou.” 

“Sure.” You shrugged and tried to rub the ache out of your neck as you stared up at the bleak, grey skies. The air reeked of petrichor. Thankfully you’d brought an umbrella that day. 

“And you’re not bothered he’s in love with Getou?” Your friend continued, her cute bobbed haircut swaying with the tilt of her head. She always looked so charming like that, when she was being a mischievous brat while pretending to be anything but. 

“Dunno.” And that was the truth. “He’s not even my type. I’d rather hitch up with someone like you or Nanami. Someone less annoying. Less loud-mouthed.” 

“Ooh, that'll hurt his ego.” Shoko smiled. “Well, guess you'll have to learn to deal with it.”

You took a deep breath and rubbed your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

–

“Forever is a long time,” You mumbled, leaning your forehead against the cool touch of the window. Rain pittered and pattered, exploding off the glass like trillions of kamikaze planes. It almost birthed some sort of hurt in your chest. Best not to dwell on it, you decided.

“Hah? Are you talking to yourself again like a weirdo?” The one and only Gojo Satoru yowled before kicking you in the rear like a petulant child. “Pft! Figures. Knowing my luck, I would have to get married to a creeper.” 

“Even if you married Getou, you'd still be marrying a creep,” you grumbled, dusting the dirt off your behind. “You need something? Or did you harass me just for the fun of it.” 

You heard Gojo, your fiancé, scoff and shuffle behind you. “I just wanted to remind you to humble yourself! Just because I'm forced to marry you doesn't mean you're accomplished or cool or anything, got it?” 

Being in his presence had you craving a cigarette. “Yeah, got it.” 

“And Suguru's better than you,” he added, aloof voice bowing down beneath hardened, steeled words. “Don't forget that either.” 

You bit down on your cheek to ward away the heat building under your skin, the magma sinking deep into your eyesockets and threatening to pour down your esophagus. The taste of iron washed against your tongue, and you released your flesh from between your molars. Sometimes, you wanted to keep boring down on yourself to see how much you could really take, but a fear of the answer too often made you think twice. 

“This is starting to bore me,” you said, tilting your head as you caught a flicker of red in your rain-muddied reflection. You touched your fingers to your tongue and found translucent red coating the tips. 

“Pah. I was gonna say the same!” You watched his reflection turn away. “Good luck trying to impress me.” 

I'm not interested. You watched him walk away, slouching and with his hands in his pockets like he was emulating some kind of yankii character. He might have fit the bill, if he hadn't had such a ridiculous, brat side to him. Just deal with it. You wiped the red on your uniform with a sigh. Tomorrow's a new day.

--

Feel free to comment on this post if you want to be tagged for the full version!

@kamote-kuneho @tr4nnie @silvern1006

[r-i-03-17]

Hey everybody, I got more Yasammy stuff for ya and a question. So I've had a couple ideas for awhile about some Yasammy that wouldn't be full on NSFW, but pretty close, but I wanted opinions on how ok everyone would be WITH NSFW stuff, it wouldn't be in like extreme detail or anything, but but it definitely would be explicit, and a lot more "open" I guess if that's the word you want to use. Idk if I'll ever actually USE the ideas, but just wanted some feedback. Again just lmk in the comments what you guys think, and enjoy.

Yaz is definitely the more flirty one out of the two. She'll sneak up behind Sammy and tickle her while she's cleaning or doing some other household chore. She's also surprisingly strong, even though Sammy's bigger than she is, Yaz can scoop her up and twirl her around by her waist, and dip her and twirl around all while carrying Sammy, while Sammy giggles the entire time.

Sammy has a tattoo that she got on her 23rd birthday, where the tattoo is? Only Yaz knows, and she'd like to keep it that way. (Just between you and me, the tattoo is Yaz's name, and it's on Sammy's chest).

Yaz is the little spoon, that's not even a headcanon that's just factual.

Sammy can bench press Yaz. It's a party trick that they do where Sammy will just lay down on the floor and Yaz just lays on Sammy's outstretched hands and bench presses her.

Yaz wears Sammy's shirts more than she wears her own, and her sweaters. If Sammy's worn it, so has Yaz.

They have a huge bathtub, and after long stressful days, they'll fill it with warm water, put bubble bath in, light some candles when the lights are off, and turn on the TV they have mounted in the bathroom and watch their favorite movies. Yaz will usually sit on Sammy's lap, and after about 30 minutes, Yaz usually falls asleep, so when Sammy's done with the bath, she'll wake Yaz up, help her dry off, help her into her shorts and tank top, which is what she sleeps in, then she gets ready and joins her.

After the dinosaurs made it to the mainland, Yaz had such a bad panic attack, Sammy had to drive her to the hospital because she thought she was having a heart attack, thank God it wasn't but Sammy was silently crying the entire way there. Once the doctor gave her the clear, when they got home Yaz went to the bedroom not wanting Sammy to see her upset, but Sammy went and did the rest of the chores for the farm early, took their Rottweiler out of his kennel, and went to the bedroom with Yaz to comfort her with cuddles. Sammy had her shirt off like she usually does when she goes to bed, and the skin to skin really calmed Yaz's anxiety, and she fell asleep listening to Sammy's heartbeat.

Let me know which headcanon was your favorite, hope you guys enjoyed.

[flyhighisco]

hey everyone, it's your girl justi*co formally known as iscocarvajal, they t*rminated me because a couple of football associations are little bitches

so yeah 10 years, thousands of posts, 4000 followers and so many beloved mutuals along the way all gone </3

i'm trying to find all of you again but if you could reblog this around so i can find my community again i would really appreciate it

[ellecdc]

Ooooo Mother, i'll do one better!!

What about the boys (established relationship) being needy over reader?? Like something she does or says or wears.

ooooooooof good one babes

okay, mature content ahead: viewer discretion is advised

James:

you come down the stairs to the Gryffindor party looking like that

certified simp, there would be no question what was going through his mind when he get's needy like this

glassy eyes just ogling you

following you around like a lost puppy - his friends would joke that you had him on some invisible leash

probably has a hand on you at all times

I see him getting a little whiny: "can we go now?" "the party's almost over, right?" "they won't miss us for a few minutes?"

whatever ends up happening afterwards is rushed and frantic - it's very obvious how absolutely desperate he was for you

Sirius:

you come down the stairs to the Gryffindor party looking like that

I don't think he lets you make a full round of the party before he's pulling you up to his dorm and locking the door

"Siri! I was talking to Emmeline!"

He'd scoff at you as he started shedding his clothes. "You come down stairs looking like that and expect me not to want to jump your bones immediately? Fuck, look at you; who even gave you permission to look this good, huh?"

idk about you but that sentence alone would have me in a puddle

ravishes you - you both look like a right mess afterwards

he takes about 30 seconds to revert back to his dishevelled rockstar appearance (which is so unfair because it took you a little longer to get ready tonight)

he dutifully helps you get redressed - the whole nine yards. Hair, makeup, outfit; though he makes sure some of the marks he's decorated your skin with are visible... "they compliment the ensemble, doll face"

Remus:

you come down the stairs to the Gryffindor party looking like that

he's got a good pokerface, but there'd be signs

he'd be a little quieter during conversations - most of his attention placed on you, one of his hands would be near his mouth as he played with his lips (like a nervous tick, almost like he really wants a cigarette right now)

but this man's M.O.? Get you feeling just as needy as he is

he would ask you to dance - and it'd be sinful: your back pressed up against his front as your hips sways in sync to the beat

his hands would be all over you: running up and down your thighs, slipping under the skirt of your dress, arms wrapping around your middle, gentle kisses pressed to your ears and neck

he'd have you so wound up and when you finally turn in his lap to ask him if he wanted to go upstairs, he'd smile at you and say "great idea, dove. I don't think they'll miss us for a little while."

get's exactly what he wanted and somehow it had been your idea

Regulus:

you come down the stairs to the Slytherin party looking like that

I think it would piss him off a little bit, quite frankly - how dare you come down stairs looking that good and acting like you weren't knocking the wind out of Regulus? (and likely every other partygoer there)

I think because he's feeling slightly jealous/a little peeved at you, he'd keep his distance at the party; but you would feel his eyes on you all night

his predatory gaze watching you as you navigate the party, sending threatening glares at anyone getting too close or was looking for too long

finally as the party is dying down, you're halfway through a conversation with Dorcas when you feel a looming presence behind you

"We're leaving." He says simply, taking your elbow and ushering you towards the dorm rooms.

you try to scold him for interrupting your conversation and rudely dragging you away from the party

he narrows his eyes and looks you up and down: "you don't get to show up to the party looking like sex on a stick and then berate me for finally getting you alone"

you smirk at him. "if you wanted me alone so bad, all you had to do was ask"

"Well, here I am." "I'm all yours, reg"

Barty:

you come down the stairs to the Slytherin party looking like that

your foot has barely hit the last step before you're hastily thrown over Barty's shoulder and he's running to his dorm room

"But Barty! The party!"

"Fuck the party! There are more important things to do."

you guys never make it back to the party - a shame too, you really liked that dress....the one that was since ripped off of your body and sat in a pile on the floor

"Don't worry treasure, I'll buy you 40 more of those dresses; though I can't promise they won't end up in the same state"

[everyonewooeverywhere]

I can imagine bff!yunho who is secretly in love with you seeing you in your bikini swimming in the pool at night (it's summer) alone at the house the guys (ateez) rented just for the weekend and he can't resist but just swim with you and at one point, the tension is so hot, and he fucks you in the pool (and he tells you to keep quiet so the boys that are sleeping don't hear you), and then he confesses afterwards (and ofc you love him back hooray!)

mmm i raise you one better: ✨hot tub sex✨ (which is all around a bad idea but this is fantasy~)

i think bff!yunho's feelings for you would start off physical? sexual? idk he thinks you're hot. he's known you for years and genuinely cares about you so much, but it's alway been pretty platonic. but as you guys grew up, he really couldn't deny how physically attracted to you he was.

and being the guy that he is, that gradually turned into him being a bit more touchy. nothing crazy, just a hand on your lower back when you were out together. maybe letting his hugs linger a little too long. letting you lay your head in his lap when your watching a movie and playing with your hair.

but it took him a little too long to realize that his friendly feelings for you and his naughty ones were not really separate at all.

so after a long night of hanging out with everyone at the pool, you and yunho end up in the hot tub together alone at 1 am. talking and joking with each other. and you're practically on top of each other.

so in doesn't take much for yunho to pull you into his lap, smirking when your arms immediately wrap around his neck to steady yourself. "what are you doing?" you'd ask with a little laugh.

and he'd grab your hips and pull you fully on top of him so you can feel his hard on through the thin fabric of his swimsuit. he plays with the strings of your triangle top. "can we try something new?"

"yunho..." you'd question him, though you were certain exactly where he was going.

he'd brush his thumb over your bottom lip, "i really wanna kiss you right now, can i?"

"ok..." you'd respond but your eyes are already fluttering closed and letting him pull you into a kiss by your neck. and it's so deep and needy. like he's been waiting for this for years. and he's a fucking incredible kisser.

it's so good that you almost miss when he unties your bikini top. and you pull back with a gasp, "what about-" worried about the people in the pool only a couple feet away

and he presses a finger to your lips, "if you're quiet, they'll never know. so be quiet for me. ok baby?"

he takes no time at all sliding his cock out of his swim shorts and pulling your little swimsuit aside so he can sit you down on it.

he's a big chest kisser, so he keeps a hand on your nipple and his mouth on the other. and he lets his other hand rub little circles on your clit. and when he's not leaving hickies on your chest, he whispering in your ear that you're "such a good girl" but also shhing you when you get to loud, "you don't want the boys to hear how fucked out you are, do you?" you'd shake your head "no one would be able to look at you the same again. not when they knew how pretty you looked when you're getting your little pussy stuffed. i might have to share you then."

[redbullgirly]

HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

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tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

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user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

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tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

view all 4,249 comments

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

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lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

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alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

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landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

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oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

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yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

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lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

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lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

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yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

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THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[vidavalor]

The *Original* Original Sin Theory or... why Aziraphale's "I forgive you"s really mean "forgive me" and just why he wants Crowley's absolution...

Will this break your heart in a good way and make the end of S2 hurt less? more? both? idk let's find out...

I want to talk about what the Before the Beginning scene does to the Eden scene and what all that suggests about Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship... because it might be enough to upend what we think this relationship is quite a bit, at least from Aziraphale's POV, if it goes in the direction that I think they are hinting at in S3, which I'm basing off of where they took it in S2 in these scenes.

This also contains an analysis of That Scene from 2.06 that ties into lots of other scenes and some other meta related to the show and it's a bit long-- like, the mother of all metas-- but there are pretty gifs and I brought snacks? Just letting you know it's a long post but tuck in with some tea if you're in the mood and thanks for reading. :)

Under the big cutty thing...

Before we get started, a couple of quick warnings: I curse a bit in here. It's in the show itself but just letting you know it's here a bit, too. I also mention *very* briefly suicide ideation in the characters and also very briefly (one sentence) Satan's mind-control of Crowley in S1 in a way that might be sensitive for a sexual assault survivor. There is general mention of religious trauma and abusive relationships (not Crowley & Aziraphale's relationship) all over this. If you are okay with the show, you should be more than fine reading this but just wanted to let you know up front. If you're okay with that, read on...

So, the Before the Beginning scene contains a twist, in that we learn that pre-Fall Crowley is naive to Heaven while Aziraphale is the one who is wary of it. This is especially interesting because, best we can tell, no angel has Fallen yet. There aren't *explicit* consequences for asking questions yet, as Crowley doesn't think it could get him into trouble to do so... but *Aziraphale* does. Heaven in S1 and S2 is shown to be basically a fascist state full of bullies jockeying for power where the ones on top dole out all sorts of abuses to maintain a sense of order among the rank and file. We see the emotional and even physical abuse they dole out to Aziraphale and how little they tolerate any sort of dissent, even from an archangel, based on what they ultimately do when Gabriel doesn't want to do arma-bloody-geddon anymore. Heaven is basically The Kremlin. Toe out of line and they'll toss you off a high-rise while telling everyone how sad it is that you recently had a spell of depression and heart troubles as a way of scaring everyone else into submission, right? What's surprising to us is that Aziraphale knows this *absolutely* Before the Beginning and he's terrified on Crowley's behalf, since this place functions as a kind of mafia state.

This implies something really kind of dark which is that Aziraphale knows enough to know how to toe a party line and keep quiet about any doubts he has. He knows how to survive in a way that then-innocent Crowley did not. He tries to tell Crowley that questioning things is going to get him angel-killed but Crowley has a faith in God that's different than Aziraphale's was even before the Earth was fully created. Crowley believed in Her more than Aziraphale does. He doesn't think anything will happen to him. Aziraphale knows what will and this implies knowledge of the abuse of the system and it completely changes our perspective of Aziraphale throughout the rest of the series. We often think of him as either willfully naive or just desperately optimistic regarding Heaven's goodness but, in reality, he's neither of those things. He's something else, entirely. His actions are not expressing naivete or desperate optimism or anything else.

They are expressions of guilt.

And the Eden scene tells us why he has that guilt.

The Eden scene introduces us to Crowley and Aziraphale and the series itself and it has Crowley posit the central question of the show regarding the nature of angels and demons:

Objectively, when you watch this scene, you think this is about the tempting of Eve and the flaming sword. It is... but it's also not *just* about that. Because Crowley and Aziraphale are watching Adam & Eve venture off beyond the Garden of Eden in this scene. They're still within view so the flaming sword situation happened a matter of minutes earlier. Yet, when Crowley posits that central question of which one of them actually did the good thing and which did the bad thing, Aziraphale reveals that it wouldn't be funny at all if what Crowley is saying (that Aziraphale actually did the bad thing) is true. He's distressed about it and so Crowley, somewhat dryly, reassures him that he's an angel so he couldn't have done the wrong thing. (Crowley, of course, being a literal former angel punished for doing the wrong thing lol and that being the joke but also in there is also the layer of Crowley genuinely liking Aziraphale and trying to tell him that it's all okay and meaning it.) Aziraphale is relieved and this is the key bit here-- he says oh good "because it's been bothering me."

The tone of this is that this central question of whether or not he did wrong or right by Crowley and whether or not Crowley was wrong or right in his actions *has been bothering* Aziraphale and he phrases it in a way that implies he's been losing angelic sleep (so to speak) about it for a little while now. If this was *just about Adam and Eve* then Aziraphale's reaction here makes absolutely no sense because the camera also then cuts in their conversation to in front of Crowley and Aziraphale *to show us Adam and Eve still visible in the near-distance* fighting off the lion with the flaming sword. They literally *just left* so how could Aziraphale be all in knots for awhile now over whether or not he made the wrong call? He's not. You can argue that his decision here in Eden to help Adam and Eve by giving them his flaming sword-- by standing up and doing something in the face of God to help out other beings he secretly thinks might have been treated unfairly-- *is a direct response to what he failed to do back in Before the Beginning*...

... which was to stand up for Crowley.

Meaning: Aziraphale doesn't need to see Heaven's files to find out what happened to Crowley when Crowley fell because he was there. S3 is going to be about preventing the Second Coming and so plot allusions to the crucification (which had its own Crowley & Aziraphale scene in S1) will likely abound. Aziraphale was there when Lucifer and The Gang were tossed out of Heaven. To be fair to Aziraphale, there is basically nothing he could have done to prevent this and the best possible situation is that he didn't even have the chance to. The worst possible situation is that he's literally Judas and sold Crowley out, out of fear of being tossed out of Heaven himself. I tend to think it's more that he just didn't stand up and say anything in support of Crowley to prevent himself from being seen as on the side of the eventual demons. Still, just as Crowley thinks the punishment for Adam and Eve was harsh, Aziraphale thought that asking questions and being curious wasn't enough to send Lucifer and everyone around him to Hell to be damned for all of eternity but it caused an obvious existential crisis in him that he still struggles to totally resolve.

If he disagreed with the decision to cast out the suggestion box-happy angels, he was as "bad" as they were. If he agreed with the decision, he was condemning them and that didn't seem angelic, either. How to be a good angel, which is the only thing he had ever tried to be or knew how to be? He did what he thought must be right-- to follow what the other, more powerful angels said the word of God was-- and if it was Her will, then it must be what was right, even if it was *extremely difficult* to see how this lovebug here was really an evil, demonic creature of Hell...

Not to mention that Aziraphale was in love with WhateverHeWasCalledPre-Crawly!Crowley. (We will just call him "Crowley" for this whole meta, because that is the name he chose for himself.) And maybe Angel!Crowley went after the more glamorous, daring guys. Heaven honestly seems like both a fascist state and high school at once (is there really a difference? lol). Crowley describes how he wound up falling in S1 as that he "hung out with the wrong crowd" and Aziraphale in Before the Beginning honestly seems like he's been flying around watching Crowley make stars for ages, trying to work up the nerve to or find an opportunity to introduce himself to the beautiful hot cool arty science-y guy who barely looks at him when his other option for a view are nebulas... or Benedict Cumberbatch's Lucifer/Satan, whose "stroke of demonic genius, dahling" bit in S1 and dark assault on his fave Crowley while Crowley was driving had a real "Angel!Crowley went for the bad boy who were so bad pre-Fall that they wound up fucking Satan afterwards and friend-zoned angels like Aziraphale" vibes. Alternatively, maybe he didn't totally? Before the Beginning seems to be the first time they met and maybe after that, Crowley and Aziraphale became close. It's just that Crowley canonically also wound up sitting at the cool kids' table because they were the only ones questioning things and he wound up damned for eternity for it and Aziraphale?

Aziraphale blames himself for it.

He has blamed himself for Crowley's Fall for six thousand years.

When they speak in Eden, Aziraphale is being confronted for the first time with what has come of his nebula-joyous, freshly baked blueberry muffin of an angel. He calls himself "Crawly" now-- or that's the name he's been given-- because who he was is dead. His eyes are yellow. He's now a snake. He's maybe a bit sarcastic, a bit dry, and a lot more guarded and aloof but Aziraphale sees flickers of Angel!Crowley in there. He's *kind* to Aziraphale. He's still inquisitive, in spite of it being what damned him to Hell. Aziraphale, God help him, is still wildly into him and, ugh, maybe even *more* so, in spite of everything.

And 'everything', for Aziraphale, includes Crowley being a demon being Aziraphale's fault.

They don't talk about it. Ever.

They don't talk about it because Aziraphale thinks that Crowley doesn't remember. Crowley's memory loss of a lot of his time pre-Fall is canon in S2-- something we, the audience, will need to understand the whole picture when/if we end up getting this revelation in S3 of Crowley's Fall and that Aziraphale feels he's at least partially responsible. What's even harder for Aziraphale is that because Crowley doesn't remember his time as an angel, he doesn't remember their full history together. He doesn't remember how they met and protecting Aziraphale from the first celestial shower and all the times they chatted after that and if they were in love back then, Crowley doesn't remember it. Eden then becomes, to Crowley, the first time they meet... but then look at how while Aziraphale seems to think that Crowley doesn't know him while Aziraphale knows Crowley-- the moment that he pauses so Crowley can introduce himself-- *Crowley* seems a little bemused. Why?

Because what Aziraphale has failed to consider is that the one memory that the demons are allowed to keep, most likely, is their Fall, which means that if Aziraphale was there when Crowley fell, Crowley actually *does* remember him. At minimum, he remembers Aziraphale being there and looking stricken by what was happening so even if he can't remember more than that, he knows he's safe with Aziraphale and that Aziraphale cared about him, which would explain why he risked going to talk to with him on the wall in Eden. He knows they were friends and that Aziraphale is good and he can trust him. It's also theoretically possible that if Crowley remembers his Fall and if Aziraphale was there, it's a trigger to him being able to remember all of his and Aziraphale's time before Crowley fell. Aziraphale might not know this and because these two idiots do not know how to talk-- and especially don't talk about this-- Crowley hasn't told him. In part because Crowley can't go back and he doesn't want them to dwell on Angel!Crowley when Crowley is who he is and if that's a demon, it's a demon, and the whole system can go fuck itself anyway, as far as Crowley's concerned.

Aziraphale, though, is still back on "it's my fault". He thinks he literally took goodness from the world; that he participated in the murder of his friend and the love of his life. He has never. In six. thousand. years. lol. told Crowley that he feels like this because he still thinks that Crowley doesn't remember Aziraphale betraying him and he is terrified that if he told Crowley he did-- if he told him that he was responsible, in part, for his Fall-- that Crowley would hate him and Crowley is Aziraphale's only friend in the universe and Aziraphale is madly in love with him. He couldn't bear the loss of him. He can handle their occasional spats and disagreements, knowing that Crowley always comes back, but this? If Crowley knew that his Fall was Aziraphale's fault? Aziraphale thinks Crowley wouldn't come back from that and he'd never see him again.

In reality? Crowley either already knows this and has the whole time or suspects it or if he found it out, would forgive Aziraphale for it. If he knows, he already has. His counter-argument is, like, what were you supposed to do to save me, exactly, angel? You alone versus all the hierarchy of Heaven and God Herself? I'm *glad* you didn't do something stupid and get yourself tossed into a pit of boiling sulphur. You don't deserve that.

Thing is, though, because they've never had this conversation because they DO NOT TALK lol, Aziraphale thinks he *does* deserve that. But look at what's happened since he made the decision not to save Crowley from falling...

...nothing.

Nothing has happened to Aziraphale. He didn't fall for it himself. He didn't fall for betraying the angel he loved and he wonders every. single. day. why he didn't and the only thing he can come up with is that he must have done the right thing. *It must be* that Crowley did the bad thing and Aziraphale did the good one because Crowley was damned to Hell for all of eternity and Aziraphale is still an angel of Heaven, six thousand years later. It's not for Aziraphale to question God. Her will is ineffable. It's ineffable because he cannot begin to understand how any of this can possibly be just and that just keeps happening over and over and over and over throughout the years to come in every situation he and Crowley find themselves in, from Job to The Flood to Wee Morag and Elspeth to Arma-bloody-geddon, right?

Aziraphale begins to lose count of how many times he's gone up against God at this point. Gives away his flaming sword to Adam and Eve. Saves as many as he could during The Flood-- *with* Crowley. (You know they did.) Lies to Gabriel's face in the eyes of God to save Job and Sitis' children... and learning that Falling was political, really, in the process. Nothing happened to Aziraphale for Job's kids. He suffered no consequence for lying to Heaven and God because Crowley was willing to lie for him-- to protect him from Falling, where Aziraphale couldn't protect Crowley himself ages before-- and nothing happened. Falling, suddenly, didn't seem totally God-ordained it it could be tossed aside by something as simple as having a demon just choose not to toss you to Satan. Crowley didn't take him to Hell because he didn't feel like Aziraphale belonged there. It wound up all entirely within Crowley's control, which then made Aziraphale begin to question if God was even really behind the Fall of Lucifer and the Gang or if it wasn't just the thugs in charge of Heaven who decided to toss them out... thoughts he was terrified to think and didn't dare voice aloud, at least not then.

In another era, Aziraphale and Crowley stood there together to witness the torture and murder of Jesus Christ in the name of God, in a parallel to the Fall. What happened to Jesus? He was betrayed by his closest friend, then tortured and murdered by those in the government who thought he posed a threat to social order. Heaven as Pontius Pilate. Aziraphale as a kind of Judas, in Aziraphale's mind, anyway.

Jesus as Crowley.

Time goes on and he and The Demon Crowley form friendship in their own right, regardless of what Crowley might remember from before his Fall. They form their Arrangement off of that and Aziraphale learns even more that, often, no one is really paying attention to what they do. That no one seems to notice if Crowley performs an angelic miracle or if Aziraphale performs what has become termed a 'demonic miracle'... because, really, *they're the same*, though that's not something Aziraphale can fully admit. He cannot allow himself to believe that demons *are angels* because if there's nothing different between demons and angels than Aziraphale doesn't know anything at all.

Anything at all... He doesn't know what being an angel *is* and it's what he supposedly is so it means he doesn't know who or what he is, really.

He doesn't know what God wants or if he truly believes in Her.

He doesn't know what the purpose of all of this is-- why Crowley had to suffer, why demons in general have to, why the *humans* do. Why it all has to be destroyed eventually. To what end?

Aziraphale has the same questions Crowley does and sometimes, late at night, often a little drunk, he'll dare to ask them with Crowley, and every morning that he still wakes up and sobers up and finds himself still an angel when Crowley Fell for so much less than Aziraphale has ever thought or done, he wonders just *why?*

Why is he still an angel when he, really, is no different from Crowley? Why Crowley is damned? Punished for all of eternity for curiosity and innovation and imagination, while Aziraphale is still an angel, doomed to only have until the clock runs out on Armageddon before losing him for the rest of fucking *eternity* but, until then, stuck suffering watching him suffer while remaining an angel? Is being an angel at this point, really, his punishment for failing the apparently foul fiend he adores?

Does Aziraphale ever have any answers to these questions? Good God, no lol. He's six thousand years into this and he's in the same spot as Amnesiac!ArchangelFuckingGabriel in 2.01:

...would be okay if you could just be one near particular person?

Of course Aziraphale knows what this feels like. Of course. We know he does. And that's why he hasn't been able to make a real move in six thousand years-- because it's his fault, as far as he's concerned.

Crowley's damnation is his fault. Crowley cannot really love him, or couldn't if he knew. Not because he's a demon, though Aziraphale might have thought that at one point but he definitely was cured of it by events in 1941. The more time that goes by, the more Aziraphale knows that Crowley loves him-- that he's *in* love with him-- and the worse it all gets for Aziraphale because every day that he hasn't told Crowley that he didn't prevent him from Falling is another day within the last *six thousand years* of them falling in love and the betrayal seems to get worse and worse to Aziraphale. The time to have this conversation was on the wall in Eden and it still hasn't happened. Still, over time, he starts to realize that Crowley, if ever knew, would forgive him.

Because his Crowley has the kindest of hearts. He really does, and that wasn't taken from him when he Fell and Aziraphale finds every opportunity he can to delight in seeing that and making Crowley reveal it.

It goes against everything Aziraphale is supposed to believe.

Demons are not supposed to be good-- if they were, they wouldn't have Fallen. Yet, Aziraphale knows Crowley is. He never has truly believed that Crowley isn't-- even when he could have, at least at the start. He worried, maybe, that he had helped create a monster out of the most lovely being he'd ever known but Crowley just kept proving him wrong about that, time and time again. *Crowley* doesn't believe it about himself, really, because that's his own trauma from his Fall but Aziraphale believes it about him and that's often good enough for Crowley.

But, really, this is why they still haven't gotten together in six thousand years. This is why Aziraphale seems like he can never get beyond "I'm an angel and you're a demon", no matter what Crowley does or how he proves that there are shades of gray and also, that the entire system is bullshit. It is not that Aziraphale doesn't *know* that it's bullshit-- it's that if he admits that it is, if he stops believing in Heaven (even if he doesn't stop believing in God), then he's left with nothing but the crushing weight of guilt that he has for all the pain that Crowley has been through.

If he tells himself that Crowley Fell *for a reason* and that he (Aziraphale) was *right* to not interfere, to not try to thwart God, even if it would have likely failed, just on principle, to stand up for his friend... then Aziraphale doesn't have to deal with the fact that he made what he really considers to be a colossal mistake and that it has caused the continued pain and torture and eternal damnation of the being he considers his soulmate...

...which is why everytime that pain comes to the surface in something Crowley says or does, Aziraphale *cannot handle it at all whatsoever* and reverts to You'reADemonI'mAnAngel!Mode.

Example: Crowley's religious trauma on display in their bandstand argument:

Crowley owns this, even if he's still traumatized by it. He's saying it sarcastically, making a joke on a song Aziraphale probably barely knows, if he knows at all ("Unforgettable"-- Nat King Cole). Aziraphale *aches* at Crowley saying this-- because it reminds him that it's partially his own fault. And he can't. Do. Anything. About. It.

He's an all-powerful *angel* here but he can't change this for Crowley. He can't stop his suffering some six thousand years after his Fall. He's looking at sexy goth Crowley here and he's thinking about curly-haired, beaming, ball of light! Crowley and that they are *the same person* and Aziraphale *does* know that. He knows it and he loves him passionately and desperately and he is one of the most powerful beings ever in existence and he's standing there looking at the man-shaped-being he adores talking about how he still aches from the betrayal of his fellow angels and his mother God and *there is no way for Aziraphale to fix it* when he can mend broken bones and heal the sick and let their be light! all over the place. He can do proper magic and still, he cannot take away Crowley's pain.

This is Aziraphale's Hell. He didn't Fall but he's been in Hell anyway.

So when Crowley's religious trauma and pain comes out, usually in an argument like in the bandstand scene, Aziraphale does the only thing he thinks he *can* do, right? He's an angel. Still. Somehow. He's an angel and there must be some reason for that and an angel is not a demon-- an angel is a purer being, a healer-- and so he says "I forgive you". He doesn't mean it to be patronizing, even if it is. ("I am a *great deal* holier than thou," as he told Crowley at one point and that was the point, right?) He is trying to say "I am still of Heaven and if it's absolution you need, I can give it to you."

He is trying to say: You are not unforgivable to me.

The real lyric of the song Crowley parodies in the bandstand is what Aziraphale means, whether he knows that song or not...

Unforgettable/That's what you are...

*Crowley*, though, doesn't know about Aziraphale's inner turmoil because *heavy sigh* FFS TALK, YOU IDIOTS *breathes* lol, so *he* hears:

I still think I am better than you and you are Fallen, so you're not worthy of me. I can't love you, not the way you want. I love all beings because I'm an angel and I you know I'm in love with you but I can't *allow* myself to be because it goes against the nature of an angel and I've only done eleven thousand things that should have made me Fall over the years but letting myself be in love with you is the rubicon I won't cross, apparently...

Crowley knows by the time they're having the bandstand argument enough about Aziraphale's general religious trauma (not necessarily about how it pertains to Crowley's Fall but about it in general) to know that he spits out hateful garbage when he feels cornered and how to just call it bullshit and move on. ("I don't even like you."/"You doooo.") But he understandably walks away when Aziraphale pushes him away past a point he can handle-- and Aziraphale knows how to do that. He does it *intentionally.* The "I forgive you" is sadness because it's all he has to offer Crowley but he also knows it'll piss Crowley off enough to end the argument, so he says it intentionally to get Crowley to go away. In this scene (which parallels the end of S2 quite a bit, as many have noticed), Aziraphale is trying to deal with it all on his own, right?

He knows where the antichrist is. He's just not telling Crowley yet. He's trying to deal with it to keep him safe. He's doing it because he thinks he should-- that maybe, when it's something of this level of importance, that his job should be as an angel first, above his side with Crowley. (It's also worth mentioning here that Aziraphale is straight up terrified of Falling, not even just for being damned to Hell but because then, if he's no longer in Heaven, he has exactly zero power to even *try* to protect Crowley.) At the end of S2? With The Metatron?

Aziraphale does the same thing as with the antichrist for a time in S1, really.

The beginning of S2 shows us that Aziraphale has known that Heaven is North Korea since Before the Beginning so now marry that with its last scenes and see the arc that connects them-- Aziraphale does what he does out of guilt over what happened to Crowley to *protect* Crowley. He didn't want to do any of it without Crowley and when The Metatron finally offers that carrot, Aziraphale is suspicious as all hell (pardon the pun) and here we have this moment where part of him *wants* this to all be real, right?

Times change and sometimes, your parents who traumatized the living fuck out of you and didn't approve of your boyfriend, grow the hell up a bit and try to repent and mend fences. Maybe the trust is broken but maybe it can be healed and *as an angel*, Aziraphale is a being of goodness and hope and optimism. He's pure of heart, as Crowley put it to Nina. He *wants* that to be the case... but he also knows it likely is not.

Still... they can't run. There's nowhere that Heaven won't find them. It's no life for them-- no life for Crowley, in Aziraphale's mind, no matter how many times Crowley tries to get him to run away with him. "We can go off together!" begs Crowley, over and over, and Aziraphale's only really ever found that Crowley will only slither off if he's ticked off enough and only "I forgive you" ever really does that enough to work lol. He *means* I love you endlessly but you know this is impossible, you bloody maddening, gorgeous serpent! Will you stop reminding me of what we could have when it can never happen?! but that's not exactly how Crowley's taking it.

In the end, to Aziraphale, Aziraphale is an angel and Crowley is a demon and they are doomed to spend eternity apart and Aziraphale thinks he has no one to blame, really, but himself. If he had somehow saved Crowley six thousand years ago-- or had somehow been brave enough to stand up for him and Fallen alongside him-- they could have been together forever.

But he wasn't then and now The Metatron is here and it's time for Aziraphale to go back to Heaven and he knows, as he sits there drinking coffee with the being whose posse sent Crowley in a free fall into a pit of boiling sulphur, that Crowley will never, ever, ever, EVER go back to Heaven.

But he also knows that Heaven is here to collect Aziraphale and they are making it clear that there is no escape. There's nowhere to run. Everyday, it's been getting closer for six thousand years and going faster than a roller coaster for the last handful but a love like Beez and Gabe's will surely never come his and Crowley's way now.

It was always going to end like this. Nothing lasts forever. He told Crowley that, Before the Beginning. Six thousand years. That was all the time they had before the end of Earth, the place they'd come to call home. They found a way to borrow a few more years at the end of it since S1 and he got to dance with Crowley, their fingers brushing, and that is going to have to be enough because they're out of time.

The Metatron never needed say it directly but it was evident: they wanted Aziraphale to go to Heaven and they would say or do anything to get him up there and Aziraphale may have bought it for a moment but he's definitely figured out by the end of S2 that they need him up there not to become the Supreme Archangel but because his time as an angel is now over. The threat to Crowley is unspoken but omnipresent.

The Metatron makes it sound like he doesn't care if Crowley comes back up to Heaven with Aziraphale or not and he really doesn't and why would that be? Why would he be eager to have the two most troublesome beings in all of Heaven and Hell teaming up and getting in the way of his Second Coming plans, which he absolutely *knows* they won't support? Because they won't have jobs waiting for them up there. Crowley will not be restored to full angelic status.

They're going to kill them. Aziraphale knows it. He's known what Heaven is since Before the Beginning, even if he's been in denial about it for almost as long to try to assuage his own guilt over participating in it.

And it's a lot easier a goal for Heaven to accomplish if they separate them and just Aziraphale goes up to Heaven. If Aziraphale goes alone-- if he keeps Crowley from following-- then Crowley is not a threat to them if Aziraphale is gone.

They aren't as powerful apart.

Aziraphale knows that if Crowley comes to Heaven with him that they will kill him and Aziraphale thinks okay, this is it... this is my moment of redemption.

Six thousand years since Crowley Fell and I can finally make up for not saving him by saving him now.

I can go with The Metatron and let Heaven kill me and know that they will not threaten Crowley if they do because what they are threatened by is both of us together. One of us, alone, is less of a threat and the only problem here is that if I go... Crowley will follow me.

If I just go without telling him what The Metatron said and I don't come back right away, he'll go to Heaven, worried that something happened to me, and they'll kill him when he comes looking for me. He'll find out they've Book of Life'd me and do something stupid and my sacrifice to keep him safe will all be for nothing.

So what's our tortured angel to do?

Bandstand 2.0, right?

He's got to piss Crowley off enough that Crowley won't follow him.

He's got to piss Crowley off so much that Crowley *will never come back* and the worst part is that Aziraphale knows *exactly* how to do it.

He makes his own plans and if things get drastic enough, he'll blow up that damn halo, metaphorically-speaking this time. To save Crowley, he will break Crowley.

It's darkly romantic, really. He'll sacrifice himself for Crowley but to be sure that Crowley will be safe and not follow, he'll have to break his heart a bit first-- to further their misunderstandings in a season based on "I don't think your exactly is my exactly exactly"-level miscommunications.

So Aziraphale accepts The Metatron's offer and lets The Metatron think he completely believes that the offer is legit and maybe a part of him is still hoping that it is but he knows it's really not and that this is a suicide run. This is Aziraphale's Holy Water arc...

...and speaking of Holy Water... that arc from the perspective of this being Aziraphale's mentality... Crowley, tortured by Hell for what he did while with Aziraphale in 1827, then refusing to talk about it, showing up with a cane, sullen and depressed, asking Aziraphale for the one thing that would kill him and Aziraphale's unwillingness to understand that it wasn't completely suicide ideation on Crowley's part but as a way to *protect Aziraphale* and keep him safe. Crowley wanted what could kill a demon not to kill himself but to kill one that might come after Aziraphale. All Aziraphale could see, though, was Crowley's physical and emotional pain, that he could barely keep hidden in that era, and how Aziraphale couldn't make it better. All he could see was how he failed him and led him to this suffering. All he could see in a note begging for "holy water" was Crowley wanting a suicide pill, wanting to destroy himself, unable to take any more, in so much pain that he'd leave Aziraphale forever to make it stop. Aziraphale is blinded entirely by guilt and fails to see what Crowley is really saying, which was, ironically, the last time Crowley began to try to tell Aziraphale how he felt, which was:

I've been thinking-- what if it all goes wrong? (What if I lose you? I'm terrified of losing you. I love you. I wake up from nightmares of you being destroyed by the demons who just spent a couple of decades after 1827 not that long ago torturing me. I didn't know for sure if you were still alive during any of it.) We have a lot in common, you and me. (We're a team. A... group of the two of us.) What if it all goes pear-shaped? I need you to get me the magical demon-killing stuff so I have a weapon against *my own fellow fallen angels* that I can use in case they come after us. I would kill another demon and send every legion of Hell after me to protect you.

Aziraphale: I like pears.

(My God, they are so stupid. Please. I can't take any more lol.)

So, yeah... it's Aziraphale's turn for the holy water suicide run here only with an actual suicide run...

It takes the books in The Blitz for Aziraphale to really understand what Crowley was asking for and what he meant by asking for holy water and by 1967, he gives Crowley the holy water, in the one moment when *they actually talk*, as much as they can, about how much they love one another, that exists prior to the end of its parallel-- the end of S2.

So, yeah, Aziraphale "goes to tell his friend the good news" with a look on his face like he's marching to his death *because he is* and he knows it. His last moments with Crowley, in some of his last moments in existence, he already knows will be spent upsetting the man-shaped being he loves. He's got it all planned out. Not exactly the picnic of his dreams but it'll redeem him and save Crowley and that's all that matters to Aziraphale in this moment.

He will sound naive to the threat of Heaven and because Crowley doesn't remember pre-Fall, he won't remember how Aziraphale warned him against taking on the brass in Heaven so Crowley won't be suspicious, he'll be *frustrated*, like he was in the bandstand. He'll get angry. Aziraphale's goal is to get him to storm out-- but it has to be a really, really, bad relationship-ending storming out.

He can't come back after he drives The Bentley around the block like he did back in 2.01 and say "okay, fine, I'll help you" and Aziraphale knows that if he plays this right, he can make it so Crowley won't because helping Gabriel was one thing but asking Crowley to become an angel with him and pretending like they can go fix the broken system of Heaven is going to be Crowley's bridge too far. It's *the only thing* that Aziraphale believes is Crowley's bridge too far where Aziraphale is concerned and isn't that heartbreaking as hell? That Crowley loves him this much? And they never got to be together the way they wanted? That they were just beginning to get close to trying to figure that out?

That, hours ago, Aziraphale was asking him to dance and trying to ignore the signs of trouble around the corner, desperately wanting more time with him? That they are semi-immortal beings that always somehow seem to be out of time?

Truer words have never been spoken, Crowley. Little did you know, poor demon...

So Aziraphale goes into the bookshop and Crowley looks all worked up and wants to say something and some part of Aziraphale begins to hear warning alarms going off in his head because Crowley *never* looks like this-- is never this flustered, never this uncomfortable, never this nervous, never in a rush to say something-- and Aziraphale thinks no, can't be, we don't talk about this... even if, ironically, all of S2 shows that Aziraphale has been trying *for just that*. It was just a few hours ago that he was trying to Jane Austen a ball for them to use as a pretense to discuss their feelings because, in the height of ironies here, right?

Aziraphale was ready.

They'd had some time without Heaven and Hell breathing so much down their necks, even if the threat still loomed, and spent every day together and it was perfect and it was lovely and he knew Crowley would forgive him and Aziraphale was almost there, right, he was *almost* ready to tell him. He was almost ready to tell him he loved him and that it was him, all those millennia ago, who could have done something and didn't and he's so, so, so sorry and can Crowley ever forgive him? Is there any way that Crowley could ever forgive him after what he didn't say and didn't do when he should have? For all the times since that he's said things in anger when, really, he was madly in love and just full of his own issues to sort out? (Damn, Aziraphale, we're beginning to see your affinity for Austen heroes here...)

But he's out of time so there will be none of that now. Now is his karmic payback. Six thousand beautiful years with the being he loves and feels he doesn't deserve have led to Aziraphale's redemption being that he can sacrifice himself to save him. He can leave the world they love with Crowley and Crowley's *goodness* in it, as it should be. So when Crowley says he needs to say something, Aziraphale cannot-- CANNOT-- let him speak because he cannot bear it.

He suddenly fears that of course-- OF COURSE-- the one moment in all of these trillions of moments they've lived through where Crowley is about to directly say he loves him for the first time is the also the same fucking moment when Aziraphale has to destroy their relationship to save Crowley's life and Aziraphale will be dead after this and he cannot bear hearing what his life could have been. He can't hear Crowley say this right now or else he worries he might lose his nerve. He *wants* to hear it but if Crowley speaks first, Aziraphale might cave, he might be weak again like he was when Crowley Fell, he might fail him again, and he can't. Not after all this time. Not when he loves Crowley so much.

"What's that lovely human expression?! 'Hold that thought!'" he blurts out, in a callback to, of course, the moment Crowley saved him in 1941-- to that night where Aziraphale really realized for the first time that Crowley wasn't just capable of good or capable of being friendly towards him but that Crowley *loved* him and that he loved the Demon Crowley, whether or not he should. ("But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past," sings Frances McDormand as the Voice of God, from her apparent favorite film lol, "I must have done something good.")

Ah, yes. Played for suckers. Here is where it's important to note that in 1941, Aziraphale had no idea that Rose was really Greta and that he, in fact, was the one being played for a sucker. By the end of S2, though, it could be argued that he very much knows that The Metatron is Fraulein Greta Klauschmidt-- someone who presented herself as Captain Rose Montgomery, an agent of anti-fascist good, who approached Aziraphale in his bookshop and told him that he could be an agent of change, too. He could help save the world and stop the global rising tide of fascism represented by the Third Reich. He could even do so using his books. They plotted a sting together, in which he'd bring his books to a church and seem to give them to Nazis to give to the Fuhrer, only for agents to surround them and arrest the Nazis. Aziraphale, desperate to *do* good and to *be* good, falls for this-- he fails to see that Rose is really Greta, a Nazi agent who fools him into working for the enemy and getting him to help destroy the world in the process. Pretty obvious to see here that Greta is The Metatron in S2... but it's likely that Aziraphale knows it and is playing along because it's his turn to save Crowley, unlike what happened in 1941, when Crowley saves him and his books.

Crowley, in the bookshop back at the end of S2 in our present time, stops speaking at the "hold that thought", looking like he's about to be ill, and has to also be thinking of 1941 and the church now that Aziraphale has referenced it. Maybe, in some way, it's an unconscious effort on Aziraphale's part to convey to Crowley that this is a charade-- that he doesn't mean this, that it's an act-- but he really doesn't want Crowley to figure that out. It would defeat his goal. But he also doesn't want to hurt him because he loves him but this is the only way that Aziraphale can see to save him. So he starts gushing about his coffee with The Metatron, right? We all remember this pain lol.

Maybe I've misjudged him. (Aziraphale, we suspect you know that he tossed Crowley into hellfire and stole Gabriel's memories so honestly, the worst part of all of this is that you're so traumatized that Crowley is *buying* what you're saying here...) And guess what?! He wants me to be the new Supreme Archangel! And he said you can come! And you can be an angel again! It will be so fun! We can have a slumber party, Crowley, after days of doing good, and braid each other's hair!

Crowley is like jfc fml are you even serious right now? Which, of course, is what Aziraphale *was going for.* It's the "I don't even like you" and the "we're hereditary enemies" and the "I'm an angel, you're a demon" way of trying to intentionally push Crowley away but the new version of it because none of that flies with S2 Crowley-- most of it barely flew with him in S1-- because Crowley *knows.*

He knows that Aziraphale loves him. And he knows that Aziraphale knows him, which is to say he knows how to hurt him, and that's what this is but also Crowley just sees it as how much Heaven has hurt them both. How much they've hurt Aziraphale. Because just as Aziraphale looks at Crowley in the throes of his religious trauma-- "Unforgivable. It's what I am", etc.-- and wants to help and save and protect him, Crowley feels the same way in return when Aziraphale is like this. Frustrated, sure, but in just as much pain at how much pain Aziraphale is in and feels powerless to stop it but will do whatever he can to try to, yeah?

For Aziraphale, this is all going fairly well (it's miserable but in terms of goal, it's working) through "tell me you said no" but the problem is that Crowley is still pleading. He's still trying to work through it because they're an *us* now and also ironically of course this is when Crowley's been trying to do better with storming out lol so he's trying to couple-solve this. He's not just *leaving* like how Aziraphale had hoped. He had been trying to sell to Crowley that he could pick Heaven over Crowley and Crowley is just kinda... not believing it so much at first and, instead, is trying to approach it like a problem for the two of them to solve together, instead of as a decision that Aziraphale has made for his life that he's stating that Crowley can take or leave.

Which calls back to this scene in 2.01 at the start of this arc, when Crowley calls their life *his* life and Aziraphale counters with that he thought *they* had carved out a life for themselves *together* and Crowley answers: "so did I!" Because they haven't had a discussion about what they are, exactly, at that point, Crowley still cautiously calls *their* life *his* life, retaining a sense of autonomy, as if he's only making decisions for himself when, in reality, they are a couple who are trying to make a life together and have been doing so consciously since S1. Crowley calls that life "precious" and "peaceful" to Aziraphale-- beautiful, lovely things that they both treasure and want and find with one another-- but also "fragile". The threats to them still loom large in the background and they are still so afraid to go much further in their relationship because, in part, of those threats and how terrified they are of losing one another... which just makes the end of S2 even more brutal, really.

(*mantras* cottage in the south downs cottage in the south downs...)

So back in That Scene later in S2, Aziraphale is then just kind of stuck trying to figure out how to get Crowley to be so angry with him that he storms out and never comes back in the face of Crowley trying to very much not do that and then Crowley starts saying that he needs to say what he was going to say or he never will and Aziraphale *knows*, ok? He knows what Crowley needs to say. He just literally cannot believe this is going to happen right now. He honestly can't believe it's happening at all but right now?!

He knows before Crowley begins speaking. He probably knew when he told him to "hold that thought" a few moments before but he *really* knows now. Crowley has no idea that Aziraphale has planned for this to be the last time they ever see one another and to go sacrifice himself to Heaven for whatever they want to do with him to keep them away from Crowley. Crowley looks like he's about to pass out from nerves and can barely speak and just...

...six. thousand. years...

...I know we have all looked at the heartbreak of this scene from Crowley's POV here every which way to Sunday, okay, but just imagine you are Aziraphale, who has loved this being since before the literal beginning of time, and you blame yourself for his pain and suffering, and he's standing here, braver than you've ever been with him, looking into your eyes and telling you that he knows that you love him and that he loves you and he knows you both have known this for basically the entirety of your existence together and he can't pretend anymore. He doesn't want to pretend anymore. He knows things have changed over the last few years between you and he wants more of that. He wants to be with you.

The two of you are not even human, just human-adjacent beings who have gone native from the stars and clouds here, who live and love like humans, who know that maybe the angels and demons have it backwards and God's great creatures are the humans-- that it should be the good in them that you should be trying to emulate-- and Crowley had never been more beautifully, impossibly human than while he's standing there looking ready to pass out while asking you if, after six millennia, it might be alright for him to not hide how much he loves you.

How many times has Aziraphale imagined this by this point? A million? How many different ways? There's at least half of them when he imagines that he's the one who gets up the courage first but there are so. many. Crowley. fantasies. Ones in every time period. But always *a fantasy*, at least up until maybe very recently. Why?

Not even just Heaven and Hell and the threat of being caught but the fact that Aziraphale believes that Crowley doesn't know Aziraphale didn't save him during The Fall and how could he ever really love him if he knew? How could Aziraphale ever go to him like this and give Crowley everything he knows Crowley has desired for so long without telling him the truth about Aziraphale's role in Crowley's Fall-- but then, Aziraphale assumes, he'd lose Crowley forever? So this has always been a pipe dream for Aziraphale-- fantasies from a world where they ever stood a chance of being together-- never really something that could be reality and here it is, starting, happening *now*...

...after six. thousand. years. of living with this guilt and in the last moments in which he will ever see Crowley before he heads to his likely death, with no time to tell him the truth and beg for his forgiveness, no time to ever know what their lives might be like if they could be together.

As Crowley, unbeknownst to Aziraphale, mused dramatically, if not inaccurately, earlier in the season... it's always too late.

It's punishment, in Aziraphale's mind. That's what Crowley's proposal, his confession, is now. It's his Fall, whether he falls or not when he leaves the bookshop for Heaven. It's karmic retribution-- it's God, finally saying something, and what she's saying is:

Look at what you've done, Aziraphale...

Look at how he loves you.

He was never unforgivable.

You are.

Aziraphale might be erased from existence once he gets to Heaven and he knows that's a possibility but he basically is dying here. Crowley is killing him. Crowley has pointed that silver bullet gun straight at his head and fired but he's missed and the bullet isn't in Aziraphale's teeth, it's gone through him.

Crowley, here, tears in his eyes, asking for whatever time they have. An eternity? Impossible, unlikely. Angel and demon. One day, the war will begin again-- another war to end all wars, like all the ones they've fell more and more in love during throughout history-- but it might be the one where Heaven or Hell wins and they're doomed to spend eternity apart. Crowley has said before he thinks the real war is humanity versus Heaven and Hell and that sounds like he thinks there's a chance they could survive it but who knows? They don't know. They're immortal beings who live like humans and that's, of late, included a sense of mortality. They don't know how much time they have left and Crowley is asking for all of it. He is asking for whatever time they have left to be spent together, openly loving one another, and what he doesn't know is what Aziraphale knows:

That they're already out of time.

Crowley is proposing marriage unaware that Aziraphale is dying. It's always too late, Crowley had stated earlier but had hope that maybe it wasn't but it is. And Aziraphale?

Gah. Aziraphale...

He's never loved him more. He's never wanted him more. He wants to tell him that he wants that, too, that they can have it, that Crowley can have anything he wants, but it's not true. It's not true because they could run out the back door of the bookshop now and hop in the Bentley and end-of-Grease it up to Alpha Centauri and Heaven will still find them. Heaven and Hell will still be after them. Running away solves nothing and Crowley always, ultimately, anyway, comes back and this time-- this time-- for Crowley's own good, to save his life, Aziraphale needs him to leave the bookshop and never come back.

And the moment that Crowley confesses that he loves him and that he knows Aziraphale loves him in return and that they've both known this, forever, and asks him if he can be allowed to just love him, Aziraphale loves him so much in return that he'll break his heart to save him from dying.

Dying is... not on, as High!Crowley put it in 1827 lol, but suicide-ish attempts are, if it's Aziraphale's turn this time.

So he twists the knife. He hides the goats as pigeons and he looks at Crowley and does a bit of this:

...only with the exact opposite intent. In the Job minisode, Crowley cannot speak aloud his true intentions. (Something he can finally do in the S2 finale, when he declares his love for Aziraphale.) He cannot tell Aziraphale outrightly that he had zero desire whatosever to kill Job's kids and animals and doesn't plan on actually doing it and, in fact, is actively engaged in a bit of bait-and-switch to make it look like he's doing what he's supposed to be doing as mandated by Heaven! this time as well as Hell (a nice little extra bit of paralleling to the end of S2 and Aziraphale, there.) He wants Aziraphale to believe him enough to allow him to pull it off because saving the kids and the pets (and protecting Aziraphale from any harm that might come to him if he gets in the way of what Crowley's been asked to do) matters more to Crowley than Aziraphale believing him...

...and believing him here means believing *in* him. Believing that they are on the same side and it's their own side and they're in it together. Crowley has to lie to him here *and it works for a moment*. It's really important to note that *it works*. Aziraphale believes that Crowley can do this and that he wants to-- that he not only can but he *longs* (lol) to "kill the blameless kids of Job"-- but it's all in Crowley's wording. He isn't *actually* lying. He *does* long to kill the blameless kids of Job like how he killed the blameless goats of Job-- because he "killed the blameless goats of Job" by turning them into pigeons. So he's really saying to Aziraphale that he longs to *fake the deaths* of the blameless kids of Job and plans to in the same way that he did the goats. In that moment, though? It didn't matter if Crowley was lying or telling the truth. There was only one goal--

--to get Aziraphale to walk away.

To get Aziraphale to leave, for his own safety, and let Crowley handle this. Better that he misunderstand Crowley and be disappointed in him and think him a lost cause than to get himself into trouble. Crowley out here loving Aziraphale that much in the days of Bildad the Shuite. (This poor mfer. Six. Thousand. Years lol.)

So what caused Crowley's plan to save Aziraphale in the Job era to not work?

One of the pigeons bleated, right?

Aziraphale heard it and realized that Crowley hadn't been lying so much as he had been trying to protect Aziraphale from his plan of subterfuge against the Almighty and Satan. The difference is that there are no bleating pigeons in the S2 finale... there's just *a whole certain famous other kind of damn bird instead* and its *absence* from the scene is the big emotional gut punch moment. And we all know it but I'll gif it anyway since this is already a depressing meta (cottage in the south downs cottage in the south downs...)...

...and that *is* the point. Because unlike back in the Bildad the Shuite days, there is no bleating pigeon (at least, not yet) to make Crowley realize that all is not what it seems and that Aziraphale is trying to lie to him and get him to leave to protect him from Heaven.

As Aziraphale is like mortally wounded here by Crowley's confession of love and is so not going to recover from this, he's now got to not only get Crowley to leave feeling like Aziraphale rejected being their own team for Heaven, he has to now do it with all of it out in the open-- with Crowley having openly confessed love for him, with him having asked for them to be together. He's not just going to have to frustrate Crowley more than he ever has before and get him to leave more angry than he was before, he has to, instead, smash into little tiny bits the very beautiful, very passionate, beating heart of the being he has loved since he met him *making the stars* in the bloody sky here...

The only way to get Crowley to go now is to make Crowley think he's rejecting the idea of loving him. Aziraphale honestly can't even sell the idea that he *doesn't* love Crowley because Crowley won't believe it-- he knows Aziraphale does and he's said as much in his whole marriage proposal here. So it has to be that Crowley thinks Aziraphale chose Heaven over loving him. Chose being an angel. That he really meant all of those 'hereditary enemies' and 'you're a demon' moments and to sell that, he sells it.

(You're a dark horse, Mr. Fell, Nina said of him in 2.01... the same turn of phrase Crowley uses when surprised by the secret skills and narrative power of Jane Austen later on in the pub.)

Aziraphale does love himself a bit of theatre. A bit of a disappearing act. The West End, The West End...

...our Nefertiti-fooling fellow...

He sells it with:

Well, of course you said no, *you're* the bad guys...

Come with me... I'll run, it you can be *my second-in-command*...

We can be together. *Angels*. Doing *good*...

...oh, Crowley... nothing lasts forever...

For his final act, The Marvelous Mr. Fell will saw his ineffable husband's heart in half by spewing a litany of everything he can think of to say that will piss him off enough to make him leave the bookshop broken-hearted enough to never come back.

Only someone put a miracle blocker on here because, try as he might and good heavens (pardon the pun), Aziraphale is *trying* here...

...this turnip is not turning into a damn inkwell.

Crowley finally starts to go-- it's looking promising. Finally, Aziraphale thinks, this misery might end. Six thousand years of wanting to speak of all of this between them and hoping for some happiness when-- if-- it could maybe someday arrive, if it even could-- and it's the worst moment of Aziraphale's existence and he knows it is the same for Crowley.

Crowley stops and the "do you hear that?" And no, Aziraphale doesn't hear anything, he just has never been more upset and Crowley needs to just go because Aziraphale can't handle another moment of this, how could it possibly get worse?

Nightingales. Of course.

A call back to S1's "no more world-class composers/little restaurants where they know you/gravalax and dill sauce/old bookshops" but this time, it's "no nightingales". There's Armageddon coming that neither of them know about in this moment. It's still a 'someday, they'll try again' concept to them in this scene, not an extremely immediate threat, as Aziraphale doesn't learn about The Second Coming until after this. So the end of the world that Crowley references here is the end of *their* world and that means no nightingales. No romance. No *them*, together. Worth remembering that Crowley thought, up until maybe what? Five minutes ago? That they were headed to breakfast at the Ritz together. They should have been sitting there together *in this moment*, is what he's saying. Miracling the pianist to play "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" and gazing at one another over teapots and mimosas and croissants.

That's gone, since you chose Heaven instead, is what Crowley states and Aziraphale knows it because, God help him (no, literally, GOD HELP HIM! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO OFF TO THIS SEASON, FRANCES?!), it's what he's *trying* to make happen.

You idiot, says the once-Bildad the Shuite, who thought he was taking his beloved to the ox rib special this morning and not getting dumped for an old floating head and the cinematic world's most contentious to-go cup of coffee, we could have been... us.

Not really a part of the theory here, just the observation that Crowley's confession/proposal begins with him unable to say "a couple", in case this all goes pear-shaped and he needs to have never said something that romantic, so he says instead "a team", "a group-- of the two of us". He says it without saying it. But, by the end? He just says "us." He *present*-tenses it. He's like forget everything else, angel, we could have just kept on being us because we both know what we are. We don't need to find the right turn of phrase or even the most specific human word for it. We are just *us* and we could have kept on with that but you chose the mentality of your abusive family and asked me to be what I'm not and I still love you because I *know* you but I can't be with you like that and *you* know that.

And he kisses him. Because Franny McD says you ain't suffered enough yet, Aziraphale lol. Should I just gif it while we're miserable? If you've read this far, a month has passed and hopefully, you've taken breaks and I do apologize but I'm gonna gif it because yeah. Here we go, folks...

God, make it stop, pleads Aziraphale to literal God and here comes Crowley with the S1 wall slam parallel, all dammit, angel, I know you've wanted us to snog for centuries and this is our last chance.

I know people have opinions about this kiss and I know we're all posting them here, obviously myself included, but while I've seen a lot of like... 'Crowley knows it's the only time they ever will be able to because Aziraphale is leaving him for Heaven' and 'Crowley wants to remind Aziraphale what he's giving up and could have had' and 'Crowley tries the kiss to see if it'll change Aziraphale's mind' takes-- and I agree with all of those things and think they're all right-- I've not seen a lot of 'Crowley kisses Aziraphale *for Aziraphale*' and I think that's a big part of it, too.

Crowley really isn't stupid. Not when it comes to Aziraphale wanting him. It would be honestly hard to spend a zillion lifetimes on Earth and not get it after like...

And Crowley understands Aziraphale's particular brand of religious trauma more than most, since he has a variant version of it himself. He understands that where his whole thing is that he's very much *not* an angel anymore, that Aziraphale's identity is wrapped up in being one and the conflicts he has with Heaven and while Crowley is not yet quite hearing what Nina said-- that she just got out of an abusive relationship and that she's not yet ready to be with Maggie and needs time-- and marrying that to Aziraphale and Heaven (especially because Aziraphale is showing exactly zero signs of trying to get out of his relationship with Heaven lol), Crowley wants Aziraphale to have had what he (Aziraphale) wanted, even if it was for only a moment. He can't go with him. This is the *one* scenario where Crowley cannot follow where Aziraphale goes, where he can't come to him and rescue him, because Aziraphale has said he doesn't want him to. Aziraphale wants to go and do this and the only way he'll take Crowley is if Crowley wants to become an angel again, which Crowley will not do.

And damned if there isn't a part of Aziraphale that thinks that if The Metatron can really be trusted, wouldn't that be something? That if he gets up there to Heaven and he really is made Supreme Archangel and if Crowley changes his mind, if he comes back, like he always does... if he storms out and leaves but then misses him too much and takes the elevator up... then maybe Aziraphale could make him an angel again and while Crowley hears in Aziraphale offering that you aren't good enough as a demon-- you're not good, period and even if he doesn't totally believe that Aziraphale really thinks that but knows Aziraphale has enough religious conflict that it's a problem for their relationship, what Aziraphale *really* means is... I could fix it.

I could go back and un-Fall you. I could take away your pain. I could stop your suffering. I'd have the *power* to do it when I don't right now and it kills me, every day. I could right the wrong I did, the sin I committed-- the real Original Sin-- six thousand years ago when I betrayed you, when Heaven betrayed you.

I could do right by you, the way She never did.

I am going to Heaven to either have the power to do that or to be obliterated into non-existence and I don't totally know which, though surviving is not looking promising, but all I know is that it's too dangerous for you to follow me right now until I do know so I'd rather hurt you than see you dead.

You want to be with me and I am afraid it will lead to your destruction so I need to say anything to put the breaks on your attempt and make you back off. To a lesser extent, I've done it before. Can do again.

Only this time, no hope of the possible, future picnic, I'm afraid...

It really is the worst possible Aziraphale nightmare here like... everything he's ever wanted. Six millennia of wanting to pull Crowley close and he has to reject him or Crowley could die. Fanfic season here said Coffee Shop AU and also a reverse-Fuck or Die for the ages. People complaining that it's awkward? YES. It's supposed to be. Crowley has no idea that Aziraphale is facing a round of sudden death here and was just hoping for his one fabulous kiss and vavoom. Even if it didn't change anything-- he wanted *Aziraphale* to feel that. To know how much he's wanted this for so long and to have it, even if they can't again. The intent is terribly romantic, as is Aziraphale flailing in the middle of it and giving in because he is made of strong, halo-exploding stuff here but he's wanted this forever. He goes up on his toes, he leans in, his hands flail around and he touches Crowley's back. He *shouldn't* do any of this if he's trying to meet his goal of getting Crowley to leave because it gave Crowley hope. It might have even been what motivated Crowley to stay outside and not go right away, or at least a part of it. But Aziraphale had to because he loves him and he couldn't help it.

Then, *sob*, The Michael Sheen eviscerating all of us here...

For anyone who might still be saying that is an "I didn't want his kiss" face... hard, HARD, VERY HARD disagree. That is "I didn't want *this* kiss, like this, right now." That is a man-shaped being who was just kissed by the love of his life for what may have been the first time but, at minimum, is for what he believes will be the *last* time. (I'm still out here holding out some hope for Blitz, Part 3-- a nice first kiss after they kill some Zombie Nazis with Chekhov's derringer in the bookshop but I digress...somehow, even if this entire long meta is one long digression, I digress lol...)

It's the face of a man gutted by the fact that this, in his wildest dreams, was not supposed to happen like this and he's been alive for damn ever at this point so he's had *all* the wildest dreams. And a lot of them, let's be real, have centered around Crowley doing just this. Exactly this. Crowley ain't wrong with the 'grabbing him by the collar and kissing him senseless in the middle of the bookshop' thing. He's wanted to do it for centuries. And the middle of the bookshop bit? That's important, too. This is their home. It's *their* home, even if Crowley is technically homeless. It's safe for him in here and Aziraphale has made it so. It's where they've spent thousands of hours together, happy and safe in each other's company, and here they are, bouille-bouile-bouile-baby-ing finally and it's a complete and utter, unmitigated trash truck dumpster fire.

Honestly, this was a better kiss than in S2 lol. S1 laying down though how long they've been dreaming about it (and having Crowley start listing animals that are in Aziraphale's nonsense magic spell, like he flashes back to 1941 when thinking about the end of the world and kissing Aziraphale in the bookshop... so you can see why I'm moderately hopeful that maybe they did kiss then, once, before then trying to never again until Crowley kisses Aziraphale in 2.06.)

I'm going to bring this back around now to the comparison I made above with Crowley and Jesus and talk about how 2.06's end scenes are also like the last temptation of Christ. Good Omens makes it pretty clear that Aziraphale is the tempter, really, of the two of them, in their relationship. Crowley can't say no to him and Aziraphale has learned it and loves to puppy eyes Crowley into anything he wants.

Crowley knows it and is fine with it. He's smitten and happy to be wrapped around Aziraphale's finger. Crowley has tempted Aziraphale and we see that in S2 with the ox rib. He is, himself, just by existing, tempting to Aziraphale. But in terms of temptation carrying with it a bit of manipulation and *that* kind of tempting being what's demonic in nature? Then Aziraphale is, and always has been, the demon of the two of them. This is true into the end of S2, as while there is almost nothing that Crowley would deny Aziraphale, there is really only one thing and that's to change who he is for him. To become an angel again, to work for Heaven again, after what they've done to him and Aziraphale. So the end of S2 is then Aziraphale's temptation-- it's a test, of sorts, for Crowley, even if Aziraphale doesn't intend for it to be. Crowley resists the temptation. Even for Aziraphale, he won't follow the path of darkness for himself and become something he's not. Crowley-Jesus. (Aziraphale-Satan S3 incoming lol.)

And if you've been reading all of this right then you know what happens next and what it means from the POV of this guilt-ridden Aziraphale...

I honestly don't think Aziraphale is really that angry *with Crowley* at this point-- I think he's just angry. He's reached his limit and then some. He has a lot of simmering, under the surface rage on a good day that only bubbles over when he's stressed by a situation he can't control and here is the ultimate one, really. He's a little mad at Crowley because they've waited countless years for that and in an argument, while ironically probably kind of perfect for them, is not really how *either* of them wanted it to be... but, mostly, Aziraphale is just angry that he can't have any of those moments at all. That they're out of time. That they had all this time and they never really could be safely together and that he's been haunted for six thousand years of the image of his fluffy cloud of redheaded sunshine, bloodied and stricken, and then tossed to Hell while Aziraphale was powerless to stop it. He's never seen those eyes since and he loves the snake ones. He loves all of Crowley with all he has but he's never been allowed to *have* him and never felt safe enough to try and now it's all over. And he still has to make Crowley fucking leave this bookshop for his plan of self-sacrifice to fucking work here so...

...I forgive you. It's the worst thing he can think of. The thing Crowley always hates. The thing that he knows makes Crowley feel lesser and demonic, even if Aziraphale has always, always meant it as an I love you. He even spits it out to Crowley with an almost self-deprecating, referential tone to it-- like "here we go again-- you say you love me and I say 'I forgive you' because I can't say anything else, can I?" The anger is laced underneath it and all the pain but he's intentionally referencing how this this the thing he says whenever Crowley says they can be their own side. He's trying to claim that nothing has changed in all of these years, when they both know that everything has changed since S1 and the bandstand. That's what makes it hurt both of them even more. Aziraphale chooses to say "I forgive you" because he knows that Crowley has never heard it for how Aziraphale means it and Aziraphale is a little bitter about it and lets it show in the moment, since Aziraphale's I forgive you always really means...

I can't stand to see you in pain and if there's any power in me as an angel to stop it, then I will do that so I forgive you and may that make it easier, may that make it all okay, even though I know it won't.

And just before saying I forgive you, Aziraphale's mouth works and he almost-- almost-- says I love you instead... what Crowley would really give anything to hear.

You can see the 'l' forming there, the beginning of "love", what he *really* wanted to say... what Crowley himself didn't even actually explicitly say. Crowley said it without saying it. He called them a couple without saying that word, asked for eternity without fully asking for it, said he loved him by acknowledging that they had both been pretending, but Crowley was terrified and so he said the things in a way that made it obvious what he was saying and asking for but, so unused to not speaking in code are they, that Crowley didn't say he loved Aziraphale, not directly. He did say it. He just didn't say it in those words.

And for a second, Aziraphale almost does.

He can't stand that he's breaking Crowley's heart. He can't stand that Crowley has kissed him and Aziraphale only briefly kissed him back, only barely touched him, when he really wanted to go at him like an ox rib and never let him go, and he starts to say the truth because no part of him really *wants* to be lying like this to Crowley. But he stops. And not even just because he needs Crowley to leave the shop to save his life but because, in the last four minutes, Crowley has confessed love and proposed and they've kissed and Aziraphale, pretty sure he actually died somewhere in the middle there and he's now stuck somewhere in one of Dante's worst circles of Hell lol, just cannot *also* have this be the moment where he says "I love you" to Crowley.

It's not even false hope that maybe they'll somehow have more time. With Heaven breathing down his neck in the form of The Metatron, Aziraphale has no real hope of that. He just always dreamed of telling him and not like this. He doesn't want Crowley to hear it like this, either, not as a part of a rejection. The anger, instead, surfaces, because why can't he and Crowley just *have* this?! How the hell did Gabriel and Beezlebub get to fuck off to Alpha Centauri after dating for ten minutes when he and Crowley have spent bloody eons in queer pining hell over here? What did they ever do that was so wrong to deserve this? Why was Crowley asking questions so terrible? Why have they had to spend thousands of years pretending not to love each other as if love-- the epitome of the angelic-- was unholy? Why, Aziraphale is wondering, now that they are out of time, did he ever spend so many years terrified when, in the end, it all ended tragically anyway?

How many of those years could Aziraphale have spent loving Crowley the way they ought to have been able to have and denied themselves of for so long?

And then Crowley finally does it. Tells him "don't bother" about the forgiveness-- about the love, as Aziraphale has always meant it-- and he leaves. It worked. The anger and pain and saying "I forgive you" after that kiss... it worked. And Crowley leaves and Aziraphale, alone, is a complete mess of broken and furious and broken some more.

Crowley, as we know, doesn't get to see this moment. Muriel does! Great for fic! Hilarious by show standards that the new angel who is literally being ordered to take over Aziraphale's home against his will is who witnesses the aftermath of the intimate moment our angel has been craving, oh, just since before the dawn of humanity over here.

He touches his lips, his hand trembles... have you all noticed that Aziraphale is literally fucking *tasting and eating* what of himself Crowley left in his mouth here? He's pulling every bit of Crowley to his tongue from his teeth and *swallowing*, like he knows it's all of him he'll ever again be able to consume, like he's committing how he tastes to memory for the last like, who knows, ten? fifteen? twenty minutes? of his own existence that he knows he probably has left...

Jesus fucking Christ, Michael Sheen...

This is all without yet mentioning the single most under-analyzed line in S2 that calls into question a ton of stuff, which is this beauty from Shax, right off the top of 2.01:

"Beezlebub's put some of the lesser demons on half-rations."

What does this have to do with Aziraphale consuming Crowley's kiss like it's the most scrumptious thing he's ever tasted (because it is) and being furious that it'll be their last?

Because that Shax line casually confirms that demons eat. Do they eat human food or some sort of demon food or both? Who knows, really, but they're *supposed* to eat. Ok, but is it just a demon thing? No, because it ties to Crowley's comments in S1 about how he complained that the food wasn't really that good lately when hanging out with Lucifer and The Gang, which then implies that, at least back then, *angels* ate, too. Eating was a normal thing. Over time, though, we know that the higher angels have come to see eating as human and pedestrian and not something befitting of an angel. Some demons eat-- even Crowley eats, if less than and differently than Aziraphale-- but the angels think it's beneath them and if we have confirmation via Shax in S2 that they are supposed to be eating and basically only don't die because they're immortal beings and not human, even if they have human corporations, then the show is saying that all of these angels are fucking starving themselves.

They're doing what they're told and denying their own nature and their own needs in the process.

S2 also shows that with the ox rib, right?

Aziraphale went *at* that thing. He'd never eaten at all in a couple thousand years after being told it was un-angelic and so when he tasted food for the first time, he went so overboard that he's been Mr. Prim and Proper with his napkins and table etiquette ever since out of embarrassment over Crowley watching him food orgasm once-- and that's the metaphor there, as we've all figured out. Our show that has a sex worker named Mrs. Sandwich is all about its ongoing food-as-sex metaphor. S2 even opens with the hilarious turnabout from S1 as a "thank you for my pornography", "why do you consume *that*?" Gabriel shows up at the bookshop-- naked-- and has a food orgasm trying hot chocolate for the first time.

Gabe, babe, Aziraphale does not need the play-by-play here....

Mah point is... mah point is that Tumblr is maxing me at 30 images per post and so you'll just have to picture Crowley slurring "dolphins" while I get to my actual point here...

Mah point is while this is a whole separate analysis almost and one that many of you have already done in different ways re: food & sex on the show, my point here is that starving yourself of food in Good Omens is analogous to being touch-starved or love-deprived and before someone yells at me about how angelic beings don't necessarily need sex or are by nature not into sex unless they make an Effort, I agree with you and Neil Gaiman. I'm just also saying the show is suggesting that they all have human corporations and that many of those human corporations are not sex-averse so for those of them that are not, they're literally out here touch-starved and/or sex-starved here in different ways. But, you say, maybe Crowley is hungry (goodness knows, Crowley *is hungry* lol) but Aziraphale eats all the time!

Yeah. Aziraphale eats *food*, all the time. But he isn't touched all the time. He doesn't have sex all the time. He isn't kissed all the time. The 2.06 scene shows him *physically* making that metaphor of food and sex real for us-- we watch him *consume* what remains of Crowley's kiss--showing that he's desperate for it and deprived of it. He's starved for it, to a point of trembling hands and rolling every bit of Crowley's lingering taste around his mouth like he's taking on every last bite of the best crepe he could ever imagine in all his days...

...and then being, understandably, full of rage that this is the only time he's going to ever have Crowley-- and all he's ever going to have of him, when Crowley just offered all of himself-- forever.

And then The Metatron comes back and is Aziraphale ready to go to his death now? And, Friends, Aziraphale...

...is absolutely not.

He's turned away from the door, barely containing tears. When the door opened and he turned, he half-hoped it'd be Crowley but it was grr That Bastard instead. He looks out the window and Crowley is still out there...

...he left but he didn't really *leave*... and it somehow then still isn't over and will someone please just take Aziraphale out back and angel-shoot him? He can't take any more of this.

What about the shop? he asks, in a moment of desperation and terror over what's to come and some blind, stupid hope that he can somehow get out of all of this with him and Crowley still alive and The Metatron, who anticipated this, tells him Muriel lives here now. Aziraphale looks around the home he's made for him and Crowley for the last 223 years and his favorite books and possessions. Crowley's hat from 1941 is on the hat stand, the horse statue is where Crowley put his glasses back when he trusted him, back when he let Aziraphale see his pretty yellow eyes whenever Aziraphale wanted in recent years... before he just put his glasses back on now and closed himself off again.

Aziraphale is never going to see those eyes he loves again. He didn't even get to kiss Crowley without the sunglasses on before it was all over.

Even Gabriel had something to take up to Heaven with him to remind him of the demon he loved but Aziraphale goes to Heaven and to his death empty-handed because he pushed Crowley away to save him from all of this and, in the final push, he looks at Crowley standing there by The Bentley, all that secretly optimistic, beautiful, romantic hope about him still in him from the angel Aziraphale first met, all the awareness there of Aziraphale-- the only being who really knows him-- and so he's still waiting, still hoping. It goes back a few hours to the ball.

I'll be back. I won't leave you on your own.

But it's Aziraphale's call now and he gets into the elevator. The Metatron wins because Aziraphale's love for Crowley wins. He'll die before he lets anything happen to him, even if he wants to run to that car and to him but where would they run *to*? There's no place to go. Crowley has always been wrong about that. They can't go off together. There's no place safe from Heaven for them.

So Aziraphale gets into the elevator at The Dirty Donkey, leaving Crowley alone in the street once again, just with less hope this time than in 1967.

So Aziraphale leaves the bookshop this time, instead of going into it like he did in S1, when he left Crowley in the street, standing beside The Bentley, while clutching a different book this time-- Agnes Nutter's prophecies in his hand versus The Book of Life and its threatened erasure hanging over Aziraphale like the specter that it is. What was predicted about the future versus erasure from the past and all time. Nothing to see here, Crowley! Everything is as it's seems.

Everything is tickety-boo!

Tickety-boo?

Yes, which is also what Aziraphale-as-Crowley said... when he was kidnapped by Heaven and Hell in S1, remember? When he was taken from Earth to be sentenced to death... along *with* Crowley.

This time, Aziraphale is shutting Crowley out again. Telling him 'mind how you go' again, this time a bit more, uh, emphatically lol. And on their heels, again, the end of the world. Arma-bloody-geddon 2.0: The Second Coming.

Aziraphale heard The Metatron saying that was the plan-- as, of course, our villain walked away and meant for it not to be totally heard, further implying that they have no plans to really make Aziraphale the Supreme Archangel and that this is all a remix of Fraulein Greta Klauschmidt. That then makes this all somehow *even worse*... because now Aziraphale gets in the elevator to ride up to his death to save Crowley but now he knows that it was all for nothing.

War is coming. The planet they love will be destroyed. Crowley, if he knows him well enough, will likely die trying to save it. When he does, he'll still be damned to Hell for all of eternity while Aziraphale thinks he likely won't exist at all once he makes it upstairs and Michael finally gets to Book of Life him. Let the other angels think he's been played for a sucker. Better they think him a fool than that they come for Crowley.

He doesn't want to Fall and doesn't wish for it. If they take his memories as punishment, and they almost certainly will, he won't remember any of the moments he spent with Crowley and even if they could have eternity together in Hell if the world is destroyed, he wouldn't wish Crowley the pain of being around him when he didn't remember anything.

Aziraphale only finding out about The Second Coming in the moment before he gets on the elevator-- *after* everything happens with Crowley-- is a million times worse because now Aziraphale is riding to his death knowing that everything they've done in six thousand years doesn't matter and that the events of S1 didn't matter because all it did was delay the inevitable end of the world and everything Aziraphale loves is about to be destroyed.

That, apparently, was God's ineffable, Great Plan.

All of that is what is on Aziraphale's face on the ride up to Heaven in the final splitscreen.

In that splitscreen, Crowley, for what it's worth, is visually echoing the driving back from Tadfield bit that leads to the "tickety-boo" moment of Aziraphale lying to him by omission. He looks close to a parallel to the S1 moment where he suddenly yelled:

"DUCKS!"

They're what water slides off of. In this context? They were also the thing itching at the back of Crowley's mind-- the not quite right thing, the puzzle he couldn't quite figure out, the question he coudln't yet quite answer... until he could. That's positive, actually. It means there might be something for him to realize, even if that realization might come too late in the short term. (They will solve everything and be fine, memory-intact, immortal beings in love who go off together by the end of it. This is all just until then.)

Ducks are also, sort of, the be all and end all of Good Omens. Crowley knows how to take care of them, after all, when others do not. You feed them frozen peas-- they are good for them and they love them, too. (Don't feed him coffee, you Metatron idiot! He only ever drank one mug of it in S1 and it led to the *points above* see: tickety-boo Aziraphale lying to Crowley paralleling sequence of scenes.) [The "do you have one, single, better idea?" scene is Aziraphale drinking coffee, for reference.]

So, yeah, by comparison here... Aziraphale, you are a duck lol. You have been fed bread by idiots for far too long when, really, you need to be eating frozen peas. Crowley knows this and he knows how to take care of you. With any luck, he's about to have his duck-moment-paralleling epiphany any moment now, though I fear you're already going to be memory-wiped and fallen to Hell when he does. That's okay, though, because this is the main scene that still needs a go-around in paralleling and we know Crowley knows where the dungeons are down there from unfortunate, personal experience.

Cottage in the south downs, cottage in the south downs, cottage in the south downs, cottage....

Notes: Hi! If you have made it all the way here, thank you for reading. I hope it was worth the read for you. You all write such great stuff that I felt inspired to put my lit and film studies and psych background to use and jump in a bit. Thanks for indulging me. I also wish to note that there is a gif above that is by @fuckyeahgoodomens but for some reason, the credit was not working properly so I just wanted to make sure you knew who was providing us the visual joy.

[transmascaraa]

Reader being sad cause they can't have an animal they love, and they need comfort cuz big sad awehh :(

(example - reader wants a cat but has cat allergy)

multiple characters headcannons!

not allowed.(not a tv girl reference btw)

characters: lyney, gaming, wanderer x gn!reader

author's note: WOAH I GOT THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE SOMETHING. anyways basically your parents don't allow you to have a pet of your choice blah blah blah yk how it is i hope🤷‍♂️ ENJOYY

๑ Lyney

-he will literally want any animal that you want just because it's you who wants it.

-and after seeing you come to him on a random sunday at 16:07 seemingly sad about something, he immediately welcomes you in his home and lets you get comfortable.

-he doesn't rush you or anything, he'll let you calm down first.

-he's gonna bring you a cup of water, or tea, or coffee, whichever you prefer.

-after you talk vent to him about what's worrying you, he's quick to think of a solution.

-"awh.. your parents really are strict... hmm.... how about.." and then it's almost like a lightbulb appeared above his head.

-"i know! i'll buy you the pet that you want, and it'll stay at my place, how does that sound? your parents don't have to know A SINGLE THING." he really wanted you to feel better.

-"but what about Lynette and Freminet-"

-"they'll get used to it eventually!"

-there's no point in arguing with him, he'll do it anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Gaming

-now, if you came to him to tell him about your situation, the outcome would be pretty similar.

-he'll welcome you with open arms inside the warmth of his home.

-he will bring you something to drink, something to eat, preferably some small snack or chocolate bar, as he patiently waits for you to calm down.

-as you finally finish and feel calmer, you tell him about your situation and tell him that you're looking for a solution in some way.

-with that, he puts his hand on his chin and thinks thoroughly about the problem.

-once he comes up with an idea, he will explain it to you in great detail.

-"hmm... maybe you could keep the pet at my place? y'know, it would probably get along with man chai, so it wouldn't be lonely! and of course, whenever you wish to visit, know that it'll be well-fed and never be bored!"

-after a bit of thinking, you finally speak.

-"that's... a good idea, gaming. sure! thank you so much! you're a lifesaver!"

-he hugged you softly.

-"of course, [name], as long as you're happy!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♡ Wanderer

-uhhhh idk what to tell you at first

-he's gonna be confused at first as to why you're so sad over to being able to have a random animal as your pet

-more importantly confused as to why you're coming to him out of all people

-but okay.

-he will listen to all of your vents and rants intently, waiting for you to finish.

-"okay. and what am i supposed to do about it?"(he was half-joking)

-"are you gonna help me in any way? can i like- buy the pet and you keep it at your place? you'll have to take care of it but i promise i'll come over as much as i can!"

-"are you insane-"

-"PLEASEEEE-"

-"FINE."

-"oh my archons, thank you so much, wanderer!" as you hugged him tight.

-"well, it's the most i can do i suppose. by the way, what's your parents' address?-"

-"NO."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i really like this one

i hope i'll have more motivation soon lmfao

doesn't matter hopefully y'all liked this lol

| @keeyisbored | @mariaace <3

[simp4eshal]

As your Husband, I declare you mine.

warning: smut, yandere behavior, kinda ducbon ?? idk, possessive and jealous spencer, marking ?? also sorry if i made mistakes

As you stood there, chatting casually with your colleague at the office party, you couldn't help but feel Spencer Reid's intense gaze burning into the back of your neck. You'd been married for a few months now, but he still couldn't seem to get enough of you. You knew he was jealous, but you also knew that he wouldn't let it show. You turned around, expecting to see him watching you, but he had turned away, pretending to be engrossed in a conversation with someone else. Little did you know, those green eyes were boring holes into you, his jealousy rising with each word your colleague spoke.

You felt a strong hand grip your shoulder, spinning you around to face him. "Let's get out of here," Spencer growled, his eyes narrowed. He didn't give you time to protest as he practically dragged you out of the room and down the hall, his long, muscular legs carrying him at a swift pace. You tried to keep up, your high heels clacking against the floor as you followed him.

Finally, he came to a stop in front of a closed door, sliding it open and pushing you inside. "In here," he commanded, shoving you roughly toward the bathroom. You stumbled, landing unsteadily on your feet before regaining your balance. "What's your hurry, Spencer?" you asked, your voice laced with annoyance. "I was just talking to him." He glared at you, his eyes darkening further. "I'm your husband," he spat. "And you belong to me."

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and something inside you responded to the possessive tone in his voice. You felt a strange mix of fear and arousal course through your veins. Without another word, he stepped forward, his body looming over yours. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer, and then his lips were on yours. The kiss was rough and demanding, as if he was claiming you as his own.

When he finally pulled away, you were breathless. His eyes were dark and intense, staring deep into yours. "You're mine," he growled. "And you always will be." Without giving you a chance to respond, he pushed you roughly against the bathroom counter. "Now," he said, his voice low and menacing, "let me show you how good it feels to be with the only man you'll ever need."

His hands were everywhere, touching you, caressing you, making you ache with need. His fingers danced over your bare skin, pushing up your dress, hiking your panties to the side. He growled again as he felt your wetness, the heat of your desire. With one swift motion, he knelt between your legs, his lips finding their way to your folds.

You moaned, arching your back as he began to eat you out, his tongue lapping at your sensitive skin, teasing you mercilessly. Spencer's hands held you in place, his fingers digging into your thighs as he devoured you, his mouth moving faster and faster. You could feel the pressure building inside you, the need for release growing stronger with each passing second.

As you neared your climax, he paused, lifting his head to look up at you. His eyes were bright with lust, his breath hot against your skin. "That's it, baby," he whispered, his voice rough with desire. "Let it go." With those words, he resumed his ministrations, thrusting his tongue deeper inside you as you came, your body shuddering with pleasure beneath his touch.

When at last you were spent, he stood, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His eyes traveled downward, taking in the evidence of his claim on your skin. The hickeys he'd given you were scattered across your neck, shoulders, and chest, each one a mark of his possession. He grinned, a wicked glint in his eye. "They'll see these," he murmured, "and they'll know you belong to me."

Then, with one last kiss, he turned and left the bathroom, leading you back out into the party, his possessive hand still gripping your hip. As you followed him, your heart raced, a delicious mixture of fear and desire coursing through your veins. You knew that no matter what happened from now on, you belonged to Spencer Reid. And you had no doubt that he would make sure everyone else knew it too.

[selineram3421]

Heeeey, semi-insipred/totally inspired by "As the World Caves in" can you do a story that involves Alastor going after that one last killer he hadn't got yet. Like alot of serial rapist-murders, they have a type they go after. Maybe Alastor's fiance is exactly 100% the type, and he starts noticing a new car in their neighborhood and a new seemingly friendly face in their lives that seems to be VERY interested in his fiancé, but mostly he is just seen walking a dog and from gossip might be the new bf of a neighbor (who doesn't fit the type). Nothing OBVIOUSLY suspicious to your averge person but maybe not Alastor.

Maybe they can be kind of a foil to Alastor where Alastor in his own twisted way has a nobel cause of trying to stop extremly dangerous crime by killing criminals that the cops aren't getting either on purpose or theoufh incompetence.

Maybe the serial rapist murder also thinks they have a nobel cause thinking they are "saving women from this terrible world." Or whatever idea that they got in their head to justify their wants. Maybe just some guy. Crooked cop knowing how to dodge the system. Ifk.

Idk, I'm messy and here for the DRAMA!

Ooooo~ Some of you wanted mooooooore. Lol.

Coming Apart

As The World Caves In

Human Alastor X Human Reader Oneshot

Warning!⚠

⚠ she/they for reader, mentions of hunting, blood/gore(discriptive injuries), fluff/angst, food mention-breakfast, hinting at the start of cannibalism, stalking, attempted rape, murder, blood!, bad dog owner, reader gets their hands dirty, self defence ⚠

Being engaged to Alastor is very much like being partners in crime.

It is never boring.

Instead, its quite exciting and unexpected at times. Sometimes its good but sometimes it could also be bad.

Like right now.

.

It was late at night.

Only students working on papers or assignments are up at this hour. Thankfully with blasting music, headphones or not.

You were up waiting.

Alastor was out on one of his "deer hunts", you like to call it. Only because you found antlers mounted in his dorm when in college and thought he hunted them.

It gave a good cover for his occasional late night outings.

The hour was way past twelve, quiet in the apartment save for the ticking from your antique mantle clock sitting on the windowsill.

Outside was a different story.

Modern times have a more active night life, and cars pass by now and again. Not too often.

Thank god I don't live on a main street.

You thought, scrolling through images on your phone. Trying to ease the multiple worried thoughts swarming in your mind.

He was late.

Later than usual. Both of you had a long talk about how to carry out his "hunting" properly to ensure it did not disturb nature too much.

It was still bothering you.

He's late.

Then you notice that you've started bouncing your leg in place, and your thoughts keep spiraling.

Finally, there's a sound by the door.

Practically jumping up, you rush over and check the peep-hole, seeing him looking down the hallway and leaning over a bit.

Opening the door quickly with a smile, it shifts into a gasp. "Alastor!", you end up saying in shock instead of happiness.

He's holding himself up by leaning his hand on the doorway, his other hand is red and pressed up against his abdomen. "Hello darling..", he gives you a wobbly smile. "I'm home."

"Get inside, quick!", you whisper shout and pull him carefully.

He hisses in pain but follows you inside the apartment, not going too far. Moving to the wall, he slides down against it to a sitting position in the entryway. Letting out a few more noises of pain when you peel away his hand and shirt from his wound.

"Al.. Al honey, we have to get you to a hospital.", you manage to not stutter out.

"No-what? No. Then they'll ask how I got stabbed.", he says and moves your hand away with a sound effect to go with it. "Pssshh."

"And that tells me how much blood you've lost.", you say as you call an ambulance.

Both of you end up learning more first aid so this doesn't happen again, and so there is no suspicion.

At least it was never boring. Both of you hate being bored.

❇

Weekend mornings are Alastor's favorite.

Because every weekend morning starts off with music.

"Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful~", he sings and dances with his fiancé in the kitchen.

"Don't forget to flip the pancake.", they say and give a quick kiss, that turns into a slightly longer one.

Flipping the pancake quickly, he goes back to them to continue dancing.

"And everything that I do is out of lovin' you~", he hums the rest.

The radio continues to play the song as the two prepare breakfast.

Coffee is almost done and mugs are set out, plates are on the counter nearby the stove, and the table has a vase full of flowers that were picked from yesterday's grocery shopping.

Yes, everything should be perfect..

But why does this look lacking?

Alastor thinks as he stares down at the plate he is putting food on, which has scrambled eggs, toast and sausages.

"And every day my life is filled with lovin' you~", she sang while pouring coffee into the mugs.

Shaking the thought out of his head, he finishes up serving the food and takes the plates over to the table.

"Darling, do we have anything planned for today?", he asks as he sets the plates on the table and pulls out the chairs.

"Hmm.. I don't think so.", they say, making their way to the table with the mugs full of coffee. "I'd like to go thrift shopping though, we can try finding that old radio you wanted.", they say placing the mugs on the table.

"I quite like that idea. Let's do it!", he agrees with a smile.

The two sit down to eat and talk about what else they might buy.

Its a week later that his fiancé notices a new face in the neighborhood.

"Do we have a new neighbor?", they ask while looking out the window, but staying near the wall to be out of sight.

"A new neighbor?", he asks and makes his way over, standing next to them and also taking a look.

There's a man sitting at the bus bench on his phone with a dog leash in one hand. Odd thing is that a dog is nowhere to be seen.

"Do you think someone was dog sitting for him?", she asks.

"Perhaps, but we can't be too sure.", he says. "Let's go back to planning love. We're almost done with all of the food options."

"Don't forget the sweets table.", they say and head back over to the couch.

"How can I forget your sugar addiction.", he says with a light laugh and follows behind them.

"At least I know you won't steal my treats."

.

A few more days pass and the stranger is still hanging around the apartment complex. Not liking the odd vibes he gives off, Alastor visits an elderly neighbor that both of you like to call Grandmother.

He knocks on the door, holding a pie his love baked before heading off to work.

The door opens, revealing an old woman with white hair and wearing a purple dress, with a small pink flower broach pinned on their off white cardigan.

"Alastor, what a surprise.", the old woman smiles.

"Hello Ms Rosie, how are you today?", he offers a smile back.

"I'm doing well dear, come in!", she says and opens the door wider, walking to the living room. "Where is that lovely fiancé of yours?"

"They had to go to work today, one of the people called in sick.", Alastor answers and closes the door behind him before following the woman.

"Would you like tea? I just made some cinnamon tea.", Rosie now makes her way into the kitchen. "Set the pie down on the coffee table."

He sets down the pie like asked and sits down on the couch, knowing the woman would make a slight fuss if he didn't.

Rosie comes back with two mugs of tea and hands one to him before sitting down on the other end of the couch. "How are you dear? Anything interesting to tell me?"

"I'm doing well, nothing too interesting but my fiancé and I went to a few antique stores last weekend.", he says with a fond smile, remembering when they got excited over finding a 1930s typewriter.

"Oh how lovely, was there nice jewelry or tea sets?", she asked.

"There was a good amount of tea sets but most of them were incomplete. We managed to find you something that you might like.", he says before taking a sip of the tea, burning his tongue in the process.

Too soon. He thought with a small sigh.

"How sweet of you both. I'll make you both something to wear. Do you like sweaters?", Rosie continues to talk about different kinds of sweaters she could make for them.

"We both like sweaters, I'll visit again soon and let you know what kind with my fiancé.", Alastor says and puts the mug on the coffee table. "I wanted to ask if you know something about that strange man sitting on the bus bench across the street with a dog leash. He looks about like he's in his late thirties."

"Hm.. Yes, that man came into the building once. Asking to put up some missing dog flyers. Don't understand why he's just sitting on the bench. Maybe he's just waiting for someone?", Rosie says, mumbling the last bit. "Well, the other women say he might be a boyfriend of some young girl living in the apartment. Of course its just a guess."

"Hmm. I see.", he hums.

"Why do you ask dear? Did that man cause trouble?", Rosie asks.

"No, just surprised by the new face.", Alastor flashes a smile.

Before leaving the old woman's apartment, she gives him some red tea.

The next day both he and his fiancé are walking to the car when the strange man walks over.

"Excuse me, have you seen this dog around?", he asks them and holds up a flyer.

"No.", Alastor says after taking a glance at the picture.

The dog looks fluffy and has a bandana around its neck, but the image is terrible and you can barely tell what kind of dog it is.

"What about you miss?", the man then asks them, taking multiple steps forward.

"No, sorry.", they shake their head, taking a hold of Alastor's arm.

"We'll keep an eye out.", Alastor says quickly taking the flyer and the two keep walking. "Are you alright love?"

"Yeah, that guy just got too close.", they say.

That night, he looks up a list of stalkers and assaulters online. Only falling asleep after remembering that he has work tomorrow.

During work, there was an uncomfortable feeling in his gut.

When it hit five, he gathered his things quickly and left the radio station. The drive back home was a little annoying due to traffic, but he got there earlier then he usually does.

Then his phone rang.

Picking up the phone after seeing it was her, he let out a small sigh of relief.

"Hello darling. I just got home, so-", he started.

"Hey Red, remember that guy that kept sitting on the bench across the street? He- he followed me to work today.", they say shakily. "He had flyers like last time but he's been outside the building since putting some up."

"I'll be there. Stay on the phone with me and tell your boss the situation.", Alastor says quickly and gets ready to head out.

"Ok.."

When he gets there its dark, only the street lamps, a few stores, and cars passing by are giving off lights. The phone call ended when he said that he was around the corner.

Getting out of the car and running over, Alastor heads inside the building they work in and asks for them.

"You're their fiancé right?", the woman, who he assumes is your boss asks.

"Yes, are they ok?"

"Yeah, but the guy is still around. I'm going to need you to "buy" something while they sneak out. That ok?", she asks.

"Yes, that's fine. I don't care.", he says and gets a few bags of candy in the front.

Then he sees them walk out to the front.

"Hey.", they wave.

"Thank goodness you're ok.", he sighs and pulls out his wallet and keys. "Take the keys while I pay, the car is nearby. You have it yes?"

"Yeah.", they nod and take the keys, then look over to their boss. "I'll head out now."

"Walk out with Anthony and be careful.", the woman says as they head to the back. "The candy is for them isn't it?", she says as she scans the items.

"They eat candy while at work don't they.", he says with a chuckle.

After getting everything, he heads back to the car and sees that they've made it inside safely.

She unlocks the drivers side when seeing him walk up.

Opening the door, Alastor gets in and passes them the bag of candy, locking the door quickly after closing it. "How are you feeling love?", he asks while starting the car.

"Uh, a bit terrified to be honest.", she says and takes out sour candy. "Thank you for the candy."

"Let's go home.", he says.

Both of them keep an eye out for any cars that might be following them. And to be extra safe they don't turn on the lights when entering their apartment.

❇

After that, you called the police but of course nothing was done about it. They only said that they'd keep an eye out.

It was unsettling.

That guy knew where you lived and where you worked.

Seeing your uneasiness, Alastor suggested that both of you get away for the weekend and rent a cabin.

"We'll have Rosie come by and house sit for us so it looks like we're still here. I'll rent a car and we can go up to that mountain you told me about so much.", he holds you close, pulling you into a dance.

"Really? We can go anywhere, it doesn't have to be-", you started but were shushed with a kiss.

He pulls away with a smirk.

"Yes darling, you love it up there and you can show me all of the little shops you've explored, like that Little Dandelion bakery.", his smirk softened into smile as he lifted his hand up to caress your cheek. "I want to see you smile up at the trees again."

You hid your blushing face by resting your head on his chest with a soft huff. Alastor chuckles and continues to sway you in place, kissing the top of your head.

Rosie came to your apartment with her knitting tools and measuring tape the next day, a Friday evening. She had a book on patters for sweaters, yarn rolls almost spilling out of her bag.

"I'll take your measurements before you head out, go through the book if you want something specific.", the old woman said placing her things down on the coffee table.

It didn't take long before you both went out through the back of the building, going to the rental car that Alastor got. You helped put some of the bags in the trunk before he stopped you.

"Don't bother with this love, get in the car and lock the doors until I'm done.", he kissed your forehead.

"Ok.", you nodded and went into the passenger side.

Once finished, he joined you in the car and began driving. Both of you didn't know that the man had taken note of all the licence plates in the area.

The drive was peaceful, just an hour and a half away. You held the map on your phone as the car passed by familiar grassy hills and the old church ruins. At some point you both got off the car to get snacks and stretch your legs.

Driving up the mountain, you were beaming when the car drove through a cloud.

"I hope it rains, it's so pretty and smells nice in the rain.", you commented.

Soon both of you arrived and you told him to park near the shops.

"The restaurants are nearby, so we don't have to walk that far.", you explained.

Alastor smiled as you dragged him from shop to shop, and even praised the food from one of the restaurants that you took him to. The last stop was at the bakery you favored.

He took the orders while you found a spot to sit outside.

Paying for the sweetbread and coffee, he also got you a small pie. It didn't take long for the drinks to be ready and they quickly gave the baked goods.

Now I see why they like it here so much. Good service. He thought before stepping outside and looking for you.

But you weren't anywhere to be found.

"Darling?", he placed the items on a nearby table and looked around the area.

You would have told him if you were going somewhere, he knows that you would have waited for him. Something was wrong. Where were you?

Looking at the woodland floor, Alastor quickly went into hunting mode. It was quite easy to pick out shoe prints as the dirt was still damp from the morning rain. He knew your shoe size and the pattern on the bottom of your shoe, because you added little hearts to make markings with every step you took.

He found the little prints, but what had him more alert was the signs of struggle.

Someone had forcefully dragged you away.

Quietly, he followed the prints and soon found you pressed against a tree with a man covering your mouth.

"Don't you see I had to save you?", the man said as he tried to undo your pants.

"Mph!", you clawed and punched to get out of the gross thing's hold, effectively scratching the man's face till it bled.

"STOP FIGHTING ME!", he shouted and threw you on the ground.

You hit your shoulder on a rock which made you yelp in pain.

Alastor used this moment to tackle the man.

"YOU FUCKING PIG!", he growled and started beating the man in the face. "HOW DARE YOU! YOU NASTY, LOATHSOME-!"

"ATTACK!"

There was a loud bark and then before he knew it a dog was trying to maul him.

"Get off you beast!", Alastor tried his best to throw the dog off but it just kept biting and ripping his jacket.

He was angry.

At the man and at himself.

How could he have ignored everything else? He should have noticed there was a mutt. But in that moment all he saw was red. He couldn't let that man lay another hand on you.

"Argh!", he yelled as the dog bit his leg. "You little shit!", he kicked the dog.

It took longer than he would have liked but he knocked the dog unconscious.

Alastor dragged himself to lean on the trunk of a nearby tree. Arms and legs firing up with pain, him barely able to move an inch before the burning flared up again.

"AAAAHH!"

He heard his love scream out.

Finding her and the disgusting man near the other side of the trail, he sees that they've taken the upper hand and pulled out their sharp pair of scissors.

Ah, its Mr. Stabbington.

"STAY STILL YOU BITCH!", the man yells, grabbing her by the neck and trying to choke her. "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR!?", he rolled them over until he was back on top.

"L-LET GO OF ME!", you coughed before stabbing him in the neck.

.

Blood splattered and dripped onto your face as the man looked down at you in shock, his face staying frozen that way as he dropped.

You shivered in disgust as the body pressed against you, feeling how aroused the creep was when you moved your leg to kick his lifeless body off. Not sparing another glance at the body, you quickly turned to rush over to your lover's side.

"Alastor!", you cried, throwing the scissors as you stumbled over, kneeling down by his side to look over his wounds. "Oh god, you're bleeding so much-!"

The dog had left bite marks and gashes, his blood starting to sink into the soil.

"I-I'll call the local police and-and an ambulance will get here!", you took off your jacket and covered him before shakily taking out your phone. "Fuck!", you shouted at the no signal.

He called your name softly and held onto one of your hands. "I'm going to be ok, just go to the cafe and bring help."

"I don't want to leave you here.", you sniffed, and pulled the chain of your necklace, a whistle at the end of it. "I'll use this and shout but I'm not leaving your side."

Your love nodded and let you do what you wanted.

"You look beautiful in that shade of red."

It only took a few minutes before someone had come to help.

"HOLY SHIT!", the person yelled and ran over.

Local police arrived and the clinic vehicle as well, you told the police the summary of what happened before promising to tell the rest after Alastor was taken care of.

You got into the back of the clinic van and held onto your love's hand whenever you could.

He would be ok.

He had to be ok.

This took me a while but yay. More human Alastor. There will be more✨

~Seline, the person.

Taglist@

@willowaudreykeyes @lbcreations-blog @ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @kiraisastay @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @biromanticboba @pooplyface1423 @naelys-the-aster @line-viper @117s-girl @spiderlegsling @alastorsgoldie @repentant-repeller @kcsketches @lofasofabread @kotaleee @im-coolrat @superzombiewho @speckle-meow-meow @jammcookie @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @trashbin-nie @koioli @fatherlesschild2 @mmik3yy @just-here-reading @nealeart @hudiexiaoying @crystal-multiplefandomlover @+?

[snootlestheangel]

Royal Ghoap AU idea

Soap grows up as Prince, his family is royalty blah blah blah

Simon Riley is in the poor part of the city, which under Soap's father's rule, becomes the recruitment for Knights. It's a program designed to take the youth and prevent them from falling into criminal traps and becoming responsible people. It helps the families. Simon is recruited at a much younger age than most with the intention that he grows up alongside the only son of the King (ie Soap)

He and Soap grow up together, slowly falling in love by the time Simon is a full fledged Knight and they're adults.

Roba is the leader of a gang of criminals that burn the part of the city where Simon is from. The Riley family dies in the fire, and it is presumed that so does Simon, because he had fled the safety of the castle to save his family.

While in the castle before all of this, he had been courting Soap, only for Soap to express concerns that if they let their relationship develop into something more, that the people would say things. Basically Soap rejects Simon's physical advances (cock blocked)

Soap: I'm afraid of what they'll say of you, mo chridhe

Simon: let them talk, so long as I have you, nothing can harm me.

Soap lives for several years thinking that he could have had Simon and yet threw it all away.

Eventually his parents are mysteriously assassinated, and he, along with the King's Guards Price and Gaz, travel far as they follow a series of clues that will lead them to the assassin.

Along the way, they encounter The Ghost, a famed assassin with over a hundred assassinations credited to his name. Ghost is believed to have served under Roba.

There are two major ways I want to approach this.

The first way:

He reveals Roba is behind Soap's parents' assassinations, and tells them his plans to murder Roba himself. Price warns Soap not to trust him, but Soap can't help but feel the phantom is familiar.

One night, slipping away from the watchful eyes of Price and Gaz, Ghost enters Soap's private tent

They have a conversation where Ghost basically begs for forgiveness and Soap is confused and then he drops it, only for Soap to ask him if they know each other. Ghost doesn't directly respond, but Soap thinks it means he's uncomfortable because they don't. However, Simon quickly says "you look good as King, Johnny" not long after Soap falls quiet

Soap turns and then whispers his name. Begs him to take the mask off, asking how Roba has hurt him, etc. Simon eventually takes it off to reveal a very scarred face. Soap touches his face and the scars with tears in his eyes. Simon thinks it's because he's now ugly or not worthy of Soap's love anymore. But Soap finds him still as loveable as ever.

"I see scars. Which means you survived, and you healed, and you live to fight another day. Which means you're here, you're alive, and I finally have another chance to keep you."

"Will you let me have you? Even if just for tonight?"

"Of course. Only if you'll let me have you."

"I trust no other soul."

They get together (obviously) and then Idk where to go from here

The second way:

Soap catches word that Roba has been finally captured in a neighboring kingdom, so he brings Price and Gaz with him. The king of this place is Alejandro, with his partner Rudy, and they are joined by Shadow Company who captured Roba.

They are in the royal hall when Ghost manages to kill his way inside, where he uses his weapons to hold Rudy hostage.

His weapons in question are bladed: two large scythes that can cut from both sides (within the curve and outside), making them versatile and intimidating. Truly a character of Death

Alejandro makes a trade: Roba for Rudy. Everyone expects Ghost to leave with Roba, but instead he attacks him and kills him, kneeling back once the deed is done.

Alejandro asks "if you were not loyal to Roba, then who do you pledge to?" Because it's commonly accepted that assassins aren't solo: they have someone that pays them and provides what they need. Ghost stands, slowly makes his way towards Soap, and raises his weapons.

He proceeds to immediately drop them and uses the Royal Guard salute to show his loyalty to Soap. The salute is used in private by Knights/Guards to the crown/royal family. Only Soap, Gaz, and Price would know this, everyone else would be confused as to what that means.

Graves and a couple Shadows quickly attack Ghost and take him into custody. He keeps eye contact with Soap the entire time, Soap is shitting his pants cause how the fuck does THE GHOST know the private salute????? And why would he say he's loyal to me??? What the fuck???????

While Soap is freaking out, the others are trying to figure out Ghost's plans and blah blah blah. He's not giving anything away.

But Soap suddenly appears, saying that he should ask the questions privately because Ghost pledged his loyalty to him. They're upset Soap is in the room, to which Price, out of breath just goes "he's slippery"

They agree and let Soap "interrogate" Ghost.

Soap asks how he knew the salute. Ghost doesn't answer.

Soap asks why he suddenly pledged loyalty to him.

"To save yourself?"

"No."

"No?"

"Cannot suddenly pledge to something you are already pledged to."

Soap is now confused and he's starting to get a weird feeling. He can't think of something to say, he's so confused. Ghost begins to look at him with the saddest, most emotional look he can despite the mask.

"You look good as King, Johnny."

Don't know where to go with this one as well but I'm definitely partial to the second way.

Anyways what y'all think?

[hangesdarling]

thoughts on what hange would do when readers pregnant? i feel like seeing reader pregnant would make them so horny 🙈🤭

Hange getting horny when you're pregnant...

PAIRING. AMAB!Hange Zoë x pregnant!female reader CONTENT. 18+, MDNI, breeding kink, vaginal sex, mentions of doggy style sex position, masturbation, Hange cums on your belly (lmk what else) A/N. anon idk if this is what you're thinking but I couldn't help but imagine it like this hehe 🤭 just shoot me another ask if you want an afab!hange version ♡

hange would be horny, yes. but would they admit it to you that easily? probably not.

the moment you told them you were pregnant, they were over the roof and, crushing you so tightly in a hug, twirling you around in joy.

they'll tell all of their friends about it and you have to squeeze their hand sometimes and tell them to ease down.

next day, you see them carrying a stack of books filling their arm and before you even ask what those all are, they'll smile brightly at you and say, "wanna hear about babies?"

a quarter of the bed would be filled with open books as you lay down, listening to hange as they tell you about the things they've read as you stroke their hair.

but when they notice you getting sleepy, they just smile and kiss your forehead before cuddling you to sleep.

the first few weeks of having sex are gentle and romantic. hange would tell you all sorts of things. you're beautiful. they love you and the baby with all their heart.

there would be sweet kisses on your neck and cheek and long intimate ones on your lips

their intentions would be originally just purely fluffy and loving as expected from such a doting spouse.

but on some nights when sleep doesn't come easily, their mind would wander back to various things.

they would think of the exact day they might have gotten you pregnant, tracing an invisible calendar in their head and playing a recollection of memories.

but when they imagine your flushed blushing face all those nights ago, of how you clung to their shoulder when you were hitting orgasm, of how you became a whimpering mess telling them to come inside, hange would just find themself blushing, an inexplicable heat shooting through their body.

they would bury their face on your neck as you sleep, trying their best to keep their hardness in check.

but there were nights, they couldn't help it and you're willing to help them out.

sweat would bead on their temples, eyes closed as they thrust their hardened member in and out of you.

a gentle hand would trace over your belly, moving in soft caresses

hange curses under their breath, lips parting as soft grunts escape their mouth

they would whisper your name, their mind letting their mouth run for them as they told you about how pretty you looked on all those nights you're stuffed full of them or how their cum leaks out of you, dripping warm and thick against the sheets.

hange would hold your hand as they thrust, not pinning your wrist but keeping your fingers laced in a passionate lock.

your fingers in their hair and your legs mounted on their hips would be enough to rile them up further. each thrust was accompanied by a tug of their hair, or the moans escaping your lips as you both came into a shuddering release.

hange would keep that position for at least a few minutes, kissing you all over but most importantly, kissing your belly a good night before pulling you in their arms to sleep

the next day, they would be in high spirits, a huge smile plastered on their face as they woke you up with a warm breakfast

hange adored you, fascinated about you and the baby you're carrying

their idea of pillow talk would be telling you the best foods for pregnant women or the most suitable colors for a nursery room or maybe illustrating a punnett square of genetics they made for your baby ("your eyes and my nose. great combination right?" they'll beam at you)

no matter how sweet or caring they are, you still notice how much it turns them on to see that small bump forming in your belly

you'll see them stare, come over to you to just  kiss your belly, and talk to their unborn baby

when you teased them about it, you half expected for you to be pinned down on the bed, legs spread open once more as they fuck you

and that's what happened

hange remained gentle but you could sense how hot and bothered they were just from the deep blush creeping on their face or how their half-lidded eyes stared at you

despite how much they love coming inside, they would pull out this time. seeing pleasure in seeing their cum paint the bump on your belly.

that's enough to rile them up for another round but they would stop themself, letting you rest on their arms for the whole night.

"rest for the baby too, alright sweetheart?" they'll mumble in your ear, pressing a kiss on your neck before they sleep.

hange may be busy, but they would find or steal away time just to spend long hours with you.

after work, their form of rest might just be lying on your belly, placing sleepy kisses on every surface

"the baby said you're invading privacy, you dork," you joked at them one time when they said they could nap all day on your belly "my, my. is my baby upset with me?" they'll chuckle, crawling towards you to catch your lips in theirs. "yes, very much," you would say, smiling against their lips. "uh-oh. big trouble for me, i guess," they'll say, feigning worry as they proceed to kiss you down. "but our baby needs to learn to share their mommy, right?"

their loving embrace or teases would sometimes turn into a scene where they would have you on all fours, their hips thrusting from behind you. they're moving slow and firm, only speeding up at that sweet peak

hange relishes how your enlarged breasts fit around their hands, giving wet kisses on your spine in pleasure.

but as the months passed and your bump grew larger, hange would just spend most of their time with you, cuddling and making sure you were not in discomfort.

they would leave the house for work, making sure you wouldn't have to worry a thing or move around much after they left.

they would kiss your sleeping figure goodbye, place another kiss on your belly, and say, "you take care in there, little one. tell mommy i love you both, alright"

it was their gesture of affection for the unborn child, talking and telling them various stories or even promises once they're born.

hange grew fond of giving you forehead kisses, especially after work

they'll ensure to bring the food you're craving, joining as you eat no matter how weird the food combination would be.

they wouldn't tell you much about how stressful work has been and would focus more on the good things that happen.

but you could see their stress just from the bags under their eyes, or their unkempt hair you always used to comb before they left for work.

when you offer to relieve them, hange would hesitate, telling you that they don't want you getting even more tired just for that.

you would take their hand and tell them that maybe they could relieve themself with some form of help from you.

a smile would creep on their face as you say that, asking for your permission to touch themself and come on your belly again as it leaves them riled up and satisfied

you would happily agree to it as hange locked your lips in a heated kiss as they touched themself.

after that heated-up session, hange would kiss your forehead once again, cleaning both of you up for bed.

they'll never miss a night telling you how beautiful you are, how much they love you, how grateful they are that you're carrying their child, that they are the happiest knowing you would be the mother of their children and will spend their years loving and growing with you

hange would doze off to the thought of you and the baby inside you, a tranquil scenery that keeps them alive, a memory in their head cherished forever even years after

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3

[lunaekalenda]

paternal figure

warnings: fem!reader, melusines call neuvillette "dad" (idk anymore what i'm doing), reader is referred as "partner" and some petnames by neuvi, purely selfish tbh.

The melusines think Neuvillette is the perfect dad. He cares for all of them, it's kind, soft and plays with them on his days off. He always pays visits and brings gifts to all of them, forgetting none, even the ones that already work in different points of Fontaine. The melusines love him as much as he loves them, that's why he's nervous when you both walk towards the little cave where they live. What if you don't like them? If they don't like you? If you get scared? If they get scared? Although they're kind by nature, he's afraid they have bad experience with humans and they reflect it towards you.

"Where are we going?" you ask again, smiling towards the man that walks in front of you, with a hand tangled on yours. He stops walking before taking air and your other hand, shiny eyes directly on yours. He's taking you there by surprise because he, the Iudex, the implacable man that looks for justice on Fontaine, was nervous as hell to tell you. It's such an important moment for him, to let you meet his family. After all, that's the best word to describe the bond that connects him, they'r their only parental figure, and all the little creatures that live a couple steps ahead.

"We're.... meeting my family today." He clears his throat, and you can't hide your surprise. Today? You didn't choose an special outfit or brought any gifts. You're about to scold your man when he keeps going. "They're a ton, and they're curious. They'll ask a ton of questions and the littlest ones will want to play with you all day long." he murmurs, taking his gaze to the entrance of the cave, too afraid to look at you. "Please, be patient with them, as much as you were with me." You catch his words easily, because he was a man that showed no feelings. It was hard at first, to get over the façade of confidence and seriousness to meet the warmest heart you could ever think of. "I'm sure they'll like you as much as I do"

Any scold words you had break down when he looks again at you. Sincerity, nervousness and a tony bit of anxiety mix on his eyes, the ones that never show anything more than confidence and love. You smile widely at him, excited by meeting his family, but afraid you won't be enough. Getting on your tip toes, you kiss his jaw before speaking.

"I really wanna meet them, Neuv. I'm sure they're amazing." he smiles sweetly, releasing one of your hands before walking again with the other still caged on his. "They are." he whispers, more for himself than for you.

You have only put a step inside the cave before you listen to tiny and quick steps. In front of you, a lot of little creatures run towards your man before hugging his legs. Their puffy hands and their little horns buried on his coat. You stay behind him smiling, looking at how all the little creatures surround him lovingly, without even noticing anything more than him. He kneels and they speak all at once.

"Can I show you my latest paint?"

"I baked cookies, do you want some?"

"Are you gonna play a little with us?"

"Can I remake your ponytail?"

He takes his gaze back to you, as he takes a second of silence to let all the melusines get his attention on him. He takes air.

"I wanna introduce someone to you." He says. Their tails move quickly, you wonder if excitedly or nervously, as Neuvillette stands up and walks towards you, taking your hand on his again and making you walk in between all the creatures. The closer you are, the more beautiful you think they are. Their big eyes scan you from head to toes, curious, and Neuvillette presses your waist softly, indicating you to crouch near them. You can hear his tiny voices speaking between them. "She's so pretty." "She seems so kind." "She looks like a princess." "Her smile is beautiful." You can only hear good words from their mouths, all of them still looking at you with adoration, when Neuvillette kneels near you. "She's my partner. Please, treat her kindly, although you always do." One of the melusines takes a couple steps ahead, smiling sweetly towards you. "Welcome to our village! Are you gonna stay to have dinner with dad?" you look back at Neuvillette, who nods with a smile, and you accept the invitation with a wide enthusiasm. The melusine takes your hand. "Come with me, I can cook something more if you don't like it." She takes you around the village, when other melusine follows. "Later can you come to my home? I can show you my coral collection!" Another one pops from behind her. "I also have marine makeup, I'm sure you would love to try it!"

The melusines take you home by home, showing you all types of things and curiosities, sharing everything they have with you and, although they're a tiny village, you feel so loved and accepted by everyone that you feel as if it was the most special place of all Teyvat. Sèdenne takes you back to her home, where the dinner will be hosted, and there you find Neuvillette, sitting on a near chair as a couple melusines take his hair on the characteristic low ponytail he has. He smiles widely when you arrive back, and once he's sure they're done, he stands up to meet you on the corridor. "How was it?" he whispers, softly, taking your chin on his hands. You smile towards him before he takes your lips on his, making all the melusians take their gazes away and blush. "It was amazing." You whisper back, and it's true. The melusines made you feel at home. "Should we take a seat?"

Sitting by his side on the table, with his hand on your thigh and the memory of his lips still on yours, all the melusines sit on the rest, while some of them chat with Neuvillette, excited and happy to be able to share their days with their favorite person in the world.

His smile while he listens shows how much he cares for all of them and the gesture alone makes you fall in love way more with him. With his softness, his respect, his love towards them. You could get used to this.

Once the dinner is done and you help them clean, Neuvillette takes your waist, as a signal to leave. Some of the melusines yawn, but they don't want to stop talking with both of you yet. Neuvillette hugs every single one of them, and they run towards your arms right after. "Don't leave, please" "At you coming with him every day?" "Please, visit us more!" were some of the words shared with you. When you left, the tiny melusines share how happy their dad looks and how perfect you seem as the mom role they'll always missed.

[fun-loving-peach]

10 Minutes

Pairing: Kita Shinsuke x FemReader

Word Count: 1k

Summary: You didn’t want to get caught, but Kita only needed 10 minutes to have you trembling against him, and who were you to say no?

Warning’s: MDNI 18+, female reader, smut, tit sucking, fingering, grinding, almost getting caught.

A/N: I did a little something, I think there’s not spelling mistakes? Idk I wrote this as 3am eyes closing every five seconds, enjoy <3!! MDNI 18+ banners by @roseschoices 🤍

"want you..”

"We're at school, Shin." You say looking at the door to check if someone was coming.

"Yeah, but come on. No one's here.. and no one's about to be here..." His voice much lower now, and he continues to kiss you gently.

"Just for a moment... maybe just…" He reaches a hand up your back pulling the shirt down, exposing your shoulders.

"What if someone gets here early?" You say humming as you felt him grazing against your core.

"They'll figure something else out instead of coming in here.” Kita says mind clouded with lust at the moment, and he wants you so much right now. He kisses your shoulders, nibbling your skin, and starts to get lower and lower onto your chest staying there while he looks up to you.

"I need you now, sweetheart.” He says desperately.

"Fine but let's be quick, please...” You whisper looking away shivering at his touch.

"Only need 10 minutes, honey” He says lips moving onto your nipples as he takes it to his mouth sucking and biting on it.

"Shin." You try to argue whining as his hands go to your hips moving you back and forth on his already growing bulge.

"I'll make you feel so good...” He whispers against you, hands down tight on your hips that definitely would leave marks.

He pulls back, a string of saliva concepts his mouth with your chest as he pulls you down to kiss you. Tongue dancing with yours.

He keeps a steady pace as he pushes you closer to his bulge. Feeling you tremble against him more and more.

"Is this what you wanted me to hurry up and do?" He asks with a playful smile, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes. His fingers start to move over the fabric of your panties, and he feels your heat already seeping into his hands as you begins to move against them.

"Wasn't it your idea mister we have 10 minutes." You say breathless, shaking from the pleasure of his touch.

" guess so, but you don't have to be so impatient... I was having a nice time. Do you want me to go faster?" He says, voice shaky with excitement as his fingers rub against your clit with a little more purpose.

"You’re the impatient one, I just don't want the guys to see us like this.” You huff. “Please… faster.” You whined.

"As long as you promise not to rush me off and make me stop.” He pushes your panties aside as his two fingers thrust into you, thumb rubbing your clit as he feels you clenching around his fingers. He pushes your thigh more to his side wanting to push deeper into you.

"Fine… but if t-they see us, its your fault " You stuttered trying to stay quiet, failing as you whimper from his thrust’s as you felt him hitting that one sweet spot.

"It's definitely going to be my fault.” He says smirking at the sounds of your small whimpers filling his ears like music to him. He’s getting off just by how your hole takes his fingers and your cute little noises.

"You sound heavenly, baby." He says this in an endearing way. With your body humping against him like that, his breathing gets frantic, mind going blank.

"Just a little bit more, okay?” He whisper to you, breathe warm as he keeps you on the edge. He wants to make it last, to hear your sweet moans and feel your essence dripping from his fingers.

You nod as tears prick your eyes from the stimulation.

"Shhh, it's alright..." He says hitting your spot over and over again feeling you clench on him even more, knowing you were getting closer and closer to falling over the edge. He gives your neck a kiss.

“We still have time, relax., baby.” He says whimpering as your hands reached his bulge palming at it at the same pace he thrusts his fingers into you.

His breath gets a little more heavy as you touched him, he couldn't help but let out a moan as you kept your steady pace.

Their moment is interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the door. You break off by the sound pulling away slightly from him.

His breath is fast, as he looks up at her now with half-lidded eyes.

"Fuck…Is that a good enough rush? Or do we have time for another…” he says teasingly.

"Shut up and help me get dress up." You said hurriedly brushing your hair so it didn’t look messy.

Kita chuckle’s at your reaction, but he doesn't find it in his heart to blame you. It would be pretty embarrassing to be caught like this in the middle of school. Groaning from being stopped just as things were getting really heated, he starts to help put your clothes back together quickly, pulling up your shirt and adjusting your bra as you put your panties back on right. He stared at you smirking as he looks at your hazed eyes.

"Stop staring go and open the door." You say turning you head away cheeks flushed red.

"Yes, ma'am.” He says with a laugh, and gets up quickly to open the door with with a serious face.

As soon as he sees the other members of the team, he lets out a sigh.

"You guys are early.” He says with his usual stoic attitude.

You stood next to the door as the team went inside, all talking back in a mix of voices. Saying what took so long and stuff about practice. Some are just mumbling clearly not fully awake.

One by one they go to their lockers and grab their bags and practice gear. Some are having quick chats with each other, but no one seems to pay any attention to you guys.

"So I'll see you later, baby." You say quietly touching his cheek.

"Yeah, later." He nods, pulling away from you as he looks over to his teammates checking to see if they were overhearing them.

"Maybe I’ll come by your house after school. We can finish what we started this morning if you want," he says in a slight teasing way.

"Sounds good to me. Don't be too late or I'll have to start without you." You say teasingly pecking his lips as you walked out of the locker room and out the gym getting ready to go to class.

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." Kita says quietly as you walk out of the locker room. He's not really thinking about the fact that the two of them almost got caught in the locker room. He was just looking forward to visiting her later tonight.

"It's gonna be a great today," he mutters to himself, and starts to get ready for their first practice session of the day.

[blingblong55]

Sex on fire- Vladimir Makarov NSFW

Based on a request:

I was thinking.. imagine Makarov & reader hanging out (idk why there hanging out in the first but yeah..) They went to go get some ice cream let's say reader got yk those popsicle that's really long yeah, they were eating it and sucking on the popsicle While Makarov just stared looking at them up and down imaging that reader is sucking his d1ck instead of that popsicle, I mean they'll just do it eventually when they get back to his base, That's how reader ended up being on there knees underneath his desk giving him heads//... ---- F!Reader, smut, MDNI, oral!sex, established!relationship ----

A/N: I got excited and went off the request, I'm sorry anon

It was a hot summer evening, when your boyfriend, Vladimir, invited you for a cold snack, of course, he had a reason behind it. "Strawberry, please," you say after choosing an ice lolly. "You ever get tired of them, love?" He asks as he opens it for you. As you two sit down in some random park, his eyes catch your mouth, how your tongue licks around the tip, unaware of how hot you are doing this. He chuckles, "I invited you out because I need to keep an eye on something– someone," he says, looking away from you before he gets yet another boner from just looking at you. You nod, so innocently unaware of what you are doing to him.

"And who is this person," you keep on sucking on the ice lolly. He smirks, "Just some old acquaintance of mine, love," he smirks and looks back at you. "Can you stop doing that, my love?" "Doing what?" "Turning me on," his voice low, he adjusts himself on the seat and looks at you. "Doing this?" you begin to deep throat it, eyes on him and he pulls it out of your mouth. "My love, not here," he kisses your forehead and throws it in the trash bin. You look at him, with pouty lips and puppy eyes as you stare at him. He shakes his head and chuckles, "C'mon." Vladimir takes your hand and walks to the car.

All that was in his head is that pretty mouth of yours wrapped around his fat cock. The images of his cum all over your face, your lashes batting as you look at him hungry for more, that is why he has you sitting in the passenger seat as he drives.

Your hand fisting his cock, "Thought you had to see some acquaintance," your strokes slow. "C'mon pretty girl, wrap that mouth around me." His hands are on the back of your head. You begin to gag, his moans filling the car, "Aren't you one pretty little thing," he praises, your closing as you feel him deeper in your throat. The way home feels further every second. His cock throbbing by the minute, his orgasm being closer and by the second he pulls into the driveway.

"C'mon baby, just like that," his head thrown back. You begin to gag more when you feel his thick and sticky seed fill your mouth. His groans and grunts, mixed with your soft moans, only urge him to take you to bed. One kiss, one slight push to the wall of the hallway and soon enough, he undoes your shirt and before he can begin to praise your ever-so-lovely body, his phone rings. "Fuck me," he grunts and kisses your cheek, "we're certainly not done," Vladimir promises and leaves.

Tags:

@liyanahelena @unicorngirly1 @selarus @johfaam0 @goldenmclaren @moonsua1 @frazie99 @viomast @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @alxexhearts @baldwinhearts @strangepuppynightmare

[illubean]

ooo idea for the unaligned experiment!reader (same guys as last time)

so reader gets bored during a job and wanders off once they know their favorite free meal human isn't going to die or something.

they go outside and find a stray cat, and when their favorite human comes to find them reader unprompted says "you're like this cat to me. you'll die before me and you'd be easy to kill, but I don't speed up that process because i like the fuzzy feelings you both give me. plus you're both kinda cute. :3"

like that's kinda just reader's usual rambling but it does cement that:

reader's actively thought about how easy it'd be to kill him

they don't do that because they (on some level) like being around him at this point

they're consciously aware they'll outlive him

they think he's cute

Also possible angst/comfort at the thought they've gotten bored and left him. also the reminder that reader's fully willing to wander off without him if they're not provided enrichment, but then they find out they consciously decided to stay where they could be found because they (on some level) grew to like him.

Unaligned!OP!Reader pt. 2

Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor Type: Headcanons, Gn!reader

Couldn't really think of a hurt/comfort aspect because of these characters' personalities...

Warnings: mentions of death, a little angsty? idk

Illumi Zoldyck

Illumi of course already knows that you could easily take him out

it's why he kept you around in the first place

he originally only kept you around as some sort of Zoldyck super weapon

but YOU are beginning to develop FEELINGS? for HIM???

he probs just uses that to his advantage tbh

Illumi is worried when you wander off though, because what if someone else finds you and you take a liking to them? what if you leave him?

he doesn't care all that much about it from an emotional standpoint but he can't afford to lose such a valuable weapon

so he would accept your affections if it meant keeping you under wraps

you're willing to do whatever he tells you if it means keeping him around

since you don't really want him to die soon you're quick to attack anything or anyone he asks you to

even if you don't completely understand your emotions and even if it's one sided, you decide to stick around

you couldn't have your favorite human be lonely, could you?

Chrollo Lucilfer

he lets out an amused chuckle at your revelation

he too often thinks about his own mortality and that of others

so he's not as put off by your comment as he should be

"Maybe you're a lot more human than you think you are."

and his statement offers you some peace of mind

even though your immortal and were quite literally created to be a ruthless killing machine it felt good to know that you could actually experience human emotions

after this you are a lot more willing to express your affinity for him, weather physically or verbally

and you don't wander off as often as you used to

you still don't really grasp the concept of love but Chrollo understands what you mean

since you know you'll outlive him you become very protective over him

you decided it's better to keep him around as long as possible

so...I guess Chrollo did kind of get what he wanted

you were like his personal guard...dog? demon? idk you were his guard something

I'm not sure he would develop any sort of romantic feelings for you (at least not very quickly) but he does care for you to an extent

he doesn't have to worry much about losing you since yk you CANT DIE

but he does like seeing you happy :))

Feitan Portor

he's not sure how he feels about being compared to a cat

normally he would be offended but his brain skips over all the morbid parts and is like wait did they just call me CUTE!?

HIM? CUTE? HE IS A KILLER

he's mildy flustered by this but he plays it off as annoyance

but also he's offended that you think he's so weak

he knows he technically can't beat you because you're immortal but like...give him some credit

it wouldn't bee THAT easy to kill him

he could give you a run for your money

he probably just scoffs and tells you to shut up before walking away

even when you do wander you still end up finding and following him in the end

Feitan would never admit it but he enjoys having you around <3