#idk how im still alive after their concert and hi touch

[aimeecarreros]

[ipegchangbin]

hi z <333

sorry I was gone for so long but i had school stuff to take care of </3 I was really surprised that people were open to my prompts...it made me very happy

the reason I like bully reader and loser channie is that its rare to be loved unconditionally especially when this person knows of all your flaws

loser channie sees readers "bad side" yet he still loves them and idk....that just seems so nice

this dynamic reminds me of that of san and ashitaka in princess monopole. idk if u ever watched it but it was made in the 90s by studio Ghibli

SPOILER FOR MOVIE san has a knife to ashitakas neck and she's threatening him but he just tells her to keep living and that she's beautiful

another scene she stabs him and he just hugs her

HEAD IN HANDS.....

I also have a song rec for this dynamic ( its German lol ) its called leichter//kälter by Edwin Rosen

basically the song is about how the singers love interest/partner/ex??? says its easier to stand barefoot in the snow than being with him because he is so much colder than the snow

and that made me think.....what if channie is basically at his wits end??and just breaks down and asks reader what he did for her to act so cold towards him ( very angsty im sorry 😔)

now smut maybe I will give it my best 👍

channie and reader watching tiktoks and they come across one with the caption "<<<<<<<when he moans and whimpers" with whatever sound is popular that week and channie looks curiously at reader and asks "are you into that too?? like everyone in the comments???" and they're like "duhhh!!! wait, have you been holding back 🤨🤨🤨" and he admits that yes, he has been holding back because he's embarrassed and scared of readers reaction

so reader starts out by pulling his hand back which makes channie yelp from the sudden pain. reader is grinning now "so that's what it sounds like, huh?" what follows is them groping and pinching channie until he gets hard ( which doesn't take much tbh ) ( Inspo for this is the members groping him on stage during the concert lmao ) maybe they're pinching his nipples and lightly scratching their nails over his arms and torso until they reach his dick. reader then harshly grabs his dick and asks "this is mine, right?" their grip gets tighter the longer he takes to answer. he stammers out "ye-yes, its yours and i-im yours" , "if its mine and you're mine why are you keeping those cute noises to yourself?"

after that channie can't really talk and for the first time he has sex without holding himself back <333 congrats channie on this milestone 🥳🥳🥳

other head canons / scenarios

channie working out more and reader noticing his efforts<33

this strokes his ego on an insane level

will not stop thinking about readers comments even if its smth simple like "you've gotten bigger" or just them feeling him up and staring at him

reader wants to join a session

reader thinks they can get into some gym hijinks and that maybe they can mess with him there ( either touching him or wearing short clothing )

what they do not expect is channie working out topless and lifting so effortlessly

channie seems to come alive in the gym and this new found confidence is simply just magnetic/attractive

he confidently talks to all the guys there and jokes around with them

shows them how to lift

introduces reader as his gf/bf <3333

channie notices them getting flustered and shy but doesn't mention it but makes the effort to invite them more often to the gym

reader def grovels during the post workout meal

reader being the big spoon because they're just more comfy that way

or channie cuddling into readers chest/pecs and being held close by them

reader remembering channies fave breakfast food and making it for him almost every time he stays over ( according to them its because its quick and easy and not because channie likes it even though it creates extra dishes )

reader using their expensive skincare on him and including him in their selfcare days ( think face and hair masks , mani pedis at home and eating expensive snacks )

reader buying channie sunflowers every time they see some because they remind them of him but they don't tell him that

what channie gets to hear is that they "found them on the side of the road", "they were on sale", "the flower shop wanted to throw them away", "my friend had extra" etc. they come up with a new excuse each time, very creative of them 👏👏👏

ANYWAYS...sorry this is so long but my brain was backed up with thoughts

BTW...did u read CB97percents pic of chan !!!!!! its called wolf by the tail i think , I am so deeply in love with simp chan its insane

if there was a tier list of loser chan it would be like this

simp chan

loser chan

crybaby chan

sensitive Yandere chan

ok now fr ,, talk to u soon <3

with love,

your bully anon

BULLY ANON I LOVE YOU. AND HAPPY CHAN DAY!!! welcome back and thank you as always for indulging and bestowing us with your beautiful thoughts

first question: when will you make this a fic. HDJSJD I JUST LOVE THE WAY YOURE GOING ABOUT THIS!!! bully anon youre really creative and your concepts are amusing. if anything id love to write a fic for this but im waiting on YOU!!

second question: may i indulge in some headcanons for this loser boy? i hope your answer was yes, because i present to you a point-per-point series of

— sub ! loser ! chan headcanons 💭

long post, so im continuing under the cut ^_^

— princess mononoke parallels:

I SEE WHAT YOURE TALKING ABT WITH PRINCESS MONONOKE OMG the parallels between san & bully reader + ashitaka & chan :(( after everything they’ve been through together, they still love each other almost unconditionally, much like ashitaka’s drive to protect san even if it isn’t the wisest idea. bully!y/n may not be the kindest to chan and their own feelings, but chan’s confident that they’ll figure their love out: he loves them nonetheless, no matter their state. ;_;

— parallels to leichter//kälter by edwin rosen

while its a banger track, i cant help but feel like the lyrics relate to them a ton. even through translations it’s still easy to read the song as something chan would sing to y/n, asking and telling them at the same time that they’re so cold. there’s a lyric that goes “your lips are purple like the flowers i’ll never buy you” (apologies if that’s mistranslated) and honestly? chan would definitely still buy those flowers for them, but maybe a part of him hesitates still considering y/n’s antics. he doesn’t know if they’ll be extra mean to him about it. your scenario hurts, too: chan would finally muster up the courage to ask them why they treat him this way even if he knows they’re confused with their feelings for him, but…maybe it leads to them opening up to each other, them navigating through their own feelings out of mean sex for once, and ends with a confession from the reader, who knows :D

— a “<<<when he moans and whimpers” tiktok

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENARIO IS BEAUTIFUL just chan giving up and shamelessly letting y/n do anything to him after they stumble upon the tiktok. yk how in the same concerts, chan just puts his hands up and shuts his eyes as the members go ham on teasing his body? i think he would do the same, whimpering and squirming like a needy puppy, babbling y/n’s name over and over as they tease him. y/n probably even lets chan use his words less, preferring him to be noisy instead, spanking him ever so slightly by his thighs when he dares to bite his lips to hold back the groans again <33 congrats channie indeed!!!

— loser!chan being less of a loser at the gym

this. maybe it’s my gym rat agenda, but gym boy channie has my heart!!! i love the thought of y/n seeing him transition from being the timid boy in class to being a confident muscleman. he acts as if the gym is his second home, giggling when he notices y/n watching him be himself with wide confused eyes. chan only ever gets shy again when y/n does their reps in an undeniably sexy way. it doesn’t matter if their form is perfect, them popping hidden muscles out is making chan go crazy. y/n probably gets him off in the locker rooms when they’re alone; i love to think that y/n praises his body instead of being too mean, and it’s so new for the both of them. reader being Actually Nice about him and his body, worshipping him, teasing him for calling them “his s/o” in front of his gym friends, saying “your s/o definitely loves it when you’re confident, my channie” ^^ it actually makes him smile even if they’re getting him off!! they still call him a pathetic whiny baby in the middle of it, but there’s much more well deserved praising here.

— domesticity with loser!chan

y/n taking care of chan is EVERYTHING. imagine slow mornings with the both of them. let’s face it, they’ve probably have the roughest sex the night prior: while chan loves getting degraded by y/n, he loves it more when they pamper him the day after. y/n never always denies that they’re practically spoiling him at that point, but chan finds it cute when they’re cooing at him and asking him if the spank marks sting as they cuddle. they smear moisturizer all over his face and neck after breakfast and chan notices how delicate their touch is all of a sudden. they run their fingers over the hickeys and love bites on chan’s neck and lips with a featherlike touch. y/n, on the other hand, notices how chan leans into their touch with longing and love in his eyes. they’re so whipped for each other :((

— bully!reader being less of a bully and giving chan flowers

there’s something about this scenario that just clicks: even if there’s literally no special occasion, y/n still leaves him a very specific set of sunflowers that can’t possibly just pop in their hands by coincidence. chan’s favorite excuse is “a suitor gave this to me, but i dumped him because his breath stank, so just have this.” what softens y/n’s heart, though, is when they came over to see chan taking good care of the sunflowers by his apartment’s balcony for the first time. he smiled at them, watering can in hand, excitedly pointing at the flowers. “look! the flowers you gave me last week! they’re staring at the sun.” y/n can’t resist smooching him on the cheek because he shines brighter than the yellow petals.

— general loser!chan thoughts

honestly bully anon? you’ve bumped loser chan to SSS tier on my personal channie au tier list, but i honestly can’t agree more with you! something about this au with him fits him so well. i guess he kind of is a simp and a loser at the same time, at least that’s how i perceive it. the one common thing that i love about these channie aus is that he just has this sort of undying and passionate love that’s almost unconditional. it really suits him considering and it mirrors his dedicated self really well, but these characters taking the persona to these extremes is honestly so amusing. y/n can do anything to him, like be mean or kind, and loser chan would eat it up even if it makes him look pathetic. his unwavering love is just so attractive ^^

thank you as ALWAYS for sending your thoughts in, i love these so much and i’d love to see more from you! and hope others chime in and enjoy this as much as we did <3

p.s. im sorry for responding so late!! there was a lot on my plate but this entire message marinated in my head for the longest time. i cant stress enough how many times ive read this over and over. its just so lovely and im happy to share it right on chans birthday !

p.p.s. OMG YES I HAVE READ WOLF BY THE TAIL (shoutout my favorite minho hunter, ren) im just as obsessed with their simp!chan. ^^

[i-maybe-exist]

🧡🌠🔮🌺 with your favorite oc kjfds... im sorry i dont know any of them ;-;

that’s ok! and I couldn’t choose between penelope and azura so I just did both of them asfgwshrdcg

🧡-who is your oc’s favorite person? why is this person the top of their list and have they actually met them (an idol or role model of celeb can be someone’s favorite)

azura: this is really sappy, but juliette. she just feels so much better being with her, and she’s always a really good person to talk to about all her weird fae powers (since she knows a fair bit about fantasy creatures). and she just thinks that she’s really cool and neat and loves her a lot. azura met juliette during sophomore year, and they started dating in senior year (couple of months after juliette broke up with jay, actually).

penelope: elton john. being gay was much more of a big deal when she was alive, and he was one of the few famous people that came out. she felt better about being with her girlfriend (who i still haven’t named rip) at the time cuz of that, plus she really likes his music. she hasn’t technically met him in-person, but she’s been to a couple of his concerts (once when she was alive and pretty much whenever she was really upset when she dead).

🌠-who was your oc’s first friend? do they remember them or are they still friends now? talk about some of the people oc has lost contact with over the year. do they have any regrets about losing these people and would they revisit them if they could?

azura: she doesn’t really remember, but she’s always had at least one or two close friends. she’s lost contact with a lot of people, both fantasy and human for differing reasons. one of the more common ones for humans losing contact with her is when they see her powers (they usually get freaked out). because of that, she doesn’t really have any work friends (she’s accidentally transformed at work at least twice and everyone there is really gossip-y) and she’s lost old friends from high school (they usually find out at some point, either because she decides to tell them or she accidentally transforms).

penelope: her first friend was her girlfriend, actually. they became friends in third grade after penelope was trying to make friends for like three years, and they always had a lot of fun together no matter how old they were. when she was alive, she kept in touch with pretty much everyone she wanted to (she lived in a small town), except for a few not super close friends who moved away. when she died, she lost touch with pretty much everyone that she knew-her friends, her family, and her girlfriend. she’s tried to contact them, but it’s never worked properly (either the messages didn’t work and the person doesn't see her or the person is convinced they’re imagining things).

🔮- star gazing or cloud watching? hand-holding or snuggles? early mornings or late nights?

azura: cloud watching, either one depending on her mood, late nights

penelope: cloud watching, hand-holding, early mornings

🌺- does your oc have any tattoos or other body art? does it have any specific meaning behind it? do they have any scars? how did they get those scars? any birthmarks?

azura: she does have some tattoos! i’ll draw them at some point, but now i’ll just describe them. she has “you’re so cool!” in cursive surrounded by a heart on her right ankle. it doesn’t mean anything specifically, she just thinks it looks neat. she also has tattoos on her left inner forearm for everyone in the gremlin gang! it’s organized, top to bottom is the order she met all of them (top is farthest away, bottom is most recent). she has a cartoony purple fish for juliette, sunglasses for jay, a spatter of blood for nox, small wings for dae, horns and a tail for reyah, and a little cartoon ghost for penelope. she probably has some more, but idk what. she has some scars on her knees from falling over a lot when she was younger (she loved to run around). and this is kind of a birthmark, but there are marks that almost look like scars on her back and her head from her wings.

penelope: no. she always kinda wanted to get a tattoo, but a) she didn’t know what to get and b) she doesn’t like needles that much (she’s not scared of needles specifically, she just doesn’t like being in pain). she has some stab wounds on the right side of her chest/abdomen from her death (they technically didn’t heal before she died, so they still show up). she doesn’t have any birthmarks.

[sukisdeliveryservice]

helloo! how was your day milady? its always a pleasure reading your replies too! <333 and i hope you'll enjoy your hiatus :))

also idk i just find parrots rly pretty, and the way the supposedly repeat stuff you say is rly endearing too djhdjfhfb in all honesty, im pretty new to the whole baking thing, but i love making cookies :D they always smell so lovely djfjdjdj i'd love to explore and make more stuff!

you do digital drawing? :o id love to see something! only if you're comfortable sharing though ofc <3

mmm i haven't watched alot of tv shows really tbh. my favourite and the only one im invested in atm is friends, ive watched alittle of modern family and how i met your mother, but that's pretty much it ig jdndjdj

as for movies, i love the greatest showman! it hits a bit too close to home but i always love the goosebumps i get whenever i watch it :) next would be thor ragnorok, which ive mentioned before djjdjs but its just really funny and love it sm, and it was loki's turning point so bonus marks. black widow is also a new favourite <333 though i felt terrible when they were being tortured as kids, but it really showed a new perspective on natasha and her past. i also really like the notebook! everything was so sweet it rly nearly brought me to tears jsbdjdjjsh and finally the shawshank redemption! it was something i didn't rly think i would like, but i was really pleasantly surprised lmao. everything was pretty depressing but it also kinda blew my mind away :D

for songs, my no.1 song rn is nct dream's irreplaceable, idk why exactly but i love that song. i also have a thing for songs that are similar genres to baekhyun's un village, nct jaehyun's try again and jungkook's still with you, so those are three more though im not really sure if they're really the same genre anyways and its been almost a year now and i still cant get over how nct 127's boom makes me feel 💕

hmm for fics, i dont really remember everything i read, but i absolutely loved your ceo cheol fic 🥺 it was so cute and the way reader and cheol work perfectly together T-T most of the time fics like these consist of cold bosses who only show a little warmth to the reader, but cheol was so sweet throughout everything it just made everything so much more adorable and endearing. i really really loved it :'D <333

what are your top 5 of these? and also for the next question, have you ever

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally? (yes im asking for recs)

- 💎 anon who loves you lots!! <333

milady?? heh you sound like chat noir from miraculous ladybug (my guilty non guilty pleasure show) i was thinking carefully about these answers thats why it took so long!! i'm going to go to bed after this is posted hehe this is gonna be a long reply so take all the time you need to answer pfft- my day has been lovely thanks to this ask by the way!!

yeah i'd love to show you something!! there were a couple burried in my rambling tags but when we're allowed to turn off anon i'd love to show you!! do you have discord btw?? it might be easier to talk on there afterwards!!

ooh how i met your mother is probably my favourite sitcom!! maybe that and b99. its pretty long and the ending was erm...not good imo but i still think the long length was worth finishing!!

the movies you picked are lovely anon!! i am also a fan of the greatest showman since i am also a big fan of musicals!! it was pretty fast paced but overall the grandeur and visuals of it stunned me and the sountrack is amazing!! i haven't watched black widow but hopefully soon!! and i dont usually watch a lot of western films but i really want to check out the notebook as well!!

ahh your music taste is also exquisite!! so im guessing you're more into like soft pop/rnb kinds of songs!! i definitely listen to baekhyun's music before sleeping since his vocals really suit soothing songs. i really need to check out more of nct's music - hello future was really good!!

OMG ANON YOU READ MY CHEOL FIC??? i was so unsure about that one but it makes my heart squeeze that you read all of it and liked it :'D

okie so my top 5 (no particular order) i'm probably forgetting a few

tv shows - 1. HUGE atla fan!! i even liked legend of korra even though some poeple didn't 2. how i met your mother 3. horimiya 4. extraordinary you 5. yona of the dawn

movies - 1. your name 2. big hero 6 3. tangled 4. weathering with you 5. from up on poppy hill - literally any ghibli i've watched

books (sorry lots of these are manga) - 1. fruits basket 2. haikyuu!! 3. SNOW WHITE WITH THE RED HAIR (IT'S MY FAVOURITE EVERYTHING) 4. to all the boys i've loved before (it's very different from the movies) 5. i don't mean to bring up percy jackson since it's been years but those books are still everything to me

songs - 1. eight (iu, suga) 2. all my love (svt) 3. kidult (svt) 4. dandelions (ruth b) 5. somehow (day6)

thank you for asking anon! i loved listing these out! next to the never have i ever!!

been to a concert? NEVER!! waiting for svt to come to canada, they didn't list canada for ode to you :(((

sneaked out from your house? NEVER i've sneaked people into my house...

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase? I HAVE! bts but it was only for like a month before i fell in love with 13 men...

had a crush? soobin duh i'm beginning to realize now that maybe i've been more in love with the idea of love instead of harbouring genuine feelings // NEVER!!

had a pet? I HAVE!! multiple fishes...rip

performed in front of a crowd? I HAVE!! i've played the drums during school concerts and during a competition a few years back!!

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

for this last one i'm going to tie it in into my top 5 fics of all time!! (with mini reviews!!) i should make a masterlist of my recs honestly - when i compile all of my favourites i think that's when i've be brave enough to tag the writers fjdshfdkj

out of touch, out of time by @/by-moonflower // i read this months ago and my heart literally still sinks whenever it even crosses my mind. i don't think i've ever been so emotionally impacted by a fic before and this is my go to rec for anyone who wants to FEEL something. i don't wanna go in depth as to spoil it, so i'll just leave it at that for now.

outlasting the universe by @/by-moonflower // you know what i'm just gonna link their entire masterlist because all of their works (even the short drabbles) are just literary masterpieces. the way they write makes you feel so alive?? and everything just speaks for itself and is so authentic. they make you feel like you're wandering amidst a ghibli film, periof. authentic is the best word i can use to describe their work and this fic is just the definition of beautiful.

bluff and nonsense by @/thepixelelf // THIS FIC. it's my go to rec overall. it was so memorable had such good flow and just genuinely so genuine?? i have no other words to describe it, it's just so ,,, lovely. the plot takes you on a journey and it's woven together so seamlessly.

in a span of three months by @/viastro // i won't be surpprised if you've read this one already because this author is a true staple in the carat writing community and honestly all of their works are simple timeless. this one really hit the mark for the me the most though and i finished it all in one sitting.

wish by @chocosvt // goodness i'm a fan of hoshi fics aren't i? this one was also really memorable for me and i have read it several times!! friends to lovers but they really made the trope their own and added lots of twists and tadbits that gave it so much charm!! i would also rec this as a starter fic for svt :))

phew thank you for reading all of that anon, i really appreicate you taking the time to write such love responses and questions. now i'd like to know your answers for the same questions ,,, have you ever:

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

to add on:

been to a place/been in a particular mood after a specific event that you wanted to stay in forever?

written a piece of work that sparked energy within your fingertips!!

met a person/have someone in your life who you now just treasure so deeply?

this is getting super long we need to reveal our identities soon fkdsfkjlds

[mingyiu]

guess who went to diamond edge in toronto and had the time of her life

OK GOTTA TYPE THIS UP BEFORE I FORGET EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED

istg everyone I encountered went/is going to more than one north american diamond edge concert and i’m just like :/ /salty

this girl behind me was showing off how she went to the airport (which was a shit show)

the girl in front of me HAD HER CARAT BONG WAY UP AND FILMED ALMOST THE ENTIRE CONCERT LIKE OH MY GOD

i literally had a terrible view of the front+center of the stage and any view of the stage i had was broken up by her ARM AND CARAT BONG

i sat on the far right side so because of this girl in front of me i missed a lot of the stuff that was going on on the left side + the front center of the stage... aka everything

so i focused a lot on whoever was on the far right side at the time

legit i was watching a video back of their adore u performance and i was like “how did i miss that part???” (the second verse where they carry vernon off) and then i saw wonwoo on the far right of the stage and i was like lol oh

if mingyu/wonwoo were within my line of sight i stared at them for sure

wonwoo was to the far right a lot in the beginning so i was straight up just staring at him at the very beginning of the concert

mingyu who

jk i actually saw mingyu first

ok svt irl

i’ll get more about what they look like close up at the end but like from my view of the stage...

imagine svt members on their best day in a pic by your favourite fansite who has THE BEST PHOTO EDITING SKILLS

now multiply that beauty by 10

that’s what they look like from row H

legit like... for the most part they look pretty much the same as they do as we see them through the computer screen

but like way more flawless???

srsly they all look SO GOOD SO DAMN GOOD

but wonwoo

DAAAMN @ WONWOO

i was literally blown away by how amazing he looked

like his features are so sharp

like he didn’t look real

he looked like a porcelain doll

they all did

but moreso wonwoo

i just stared at wonwoo for like the first three songs like shit damn boi

all my dreams came true when i got to see pretty u + beautiful literally my favourite svt songs

minghao spoke in english a lot like i think i’ve heard about that a lot from the other concerts but to see it irl WOW

i’m so happy soonyoung is feeling better

he /OWNED/ the stages

it was his stage seventeen who

lol jk but seriously during his parts he srsly owned it

mingyu is as soft for carats as expected

maybe even more so

i’m trash and just stared at mingyu during every ment

frick he was all heart eyes at carats the entire time

vernon+mingyu slapped jeonghan’s butt at one point

i am alive

ok back to soonyoung owning the stage

performance unit stages??? were the most memorable for me!!!

their dancing is so powerful????????????????

tbh none of the vocal unit songs are really my fave but like quality vocals yasss

their performance of don’t listen in secret was really difficult to see... bc they were mostly sitting down and i’m short + sitting far back i could barely see them

seungkwan was at the center for habit and the annoying girl in front of me was covering him the entire time im so sad

HIP HOP UNIT!!!!!!! 

i like kinda forgot about that one song... that they posted on their soundcloud... wow am i great carat or what i don’t know what it’s called :(

the performance of it was fire tho i really should’ve listened to the song more before the concert :(

check in tho

check in was lit

if i was lit

hip hop unit was lit ok

getting to see mingyu sing take me to the top and straight down like a gyro drop

dream #12930138102938912389 coming true

rock is one of my favourite songs and sometimes i convince myself it’s for that reason alone

overall i really didn’t like how the setlist was put together tho???

like it didn’t BLOW ME AWAY AS A WHOLE

every performance was lit

but like i feel like the concert as a whole could’ve made more of an impact

if they had ordered the songs differently???

they performed most of the title songs pretty much in the first half of the concert

some of them would’ve done a lot better at the end!!!

the ones they performed towards the end (boom boom + don’t wanna cry) would’ve done so much better at the beginning of the concert imo???

the concert felt SO SHORT

all of a sudden they were like “this is our last song”

i almost cried

they didn’t perform fast pace + love letter and i think that’s TRAGIC

ending ment

omg

i’m not gonna lie i don’t remember what happened with anyone except mingyu

mingyu distracting me with his sleevless shirt

i stared at him the entire time

i’m not even gonna pretend i didn’t

i missed wonwoo’s ending ment and only realized like three other members’ turns later

i was like where’s wonwoo

and i realized he was second rip

mingyu was still soft with carats

boy couldn’t stand still

arms are as great as i imagined

literally i was so shameless i posted a snapchat story captioned “god bless this boy and his arms”

ok that’s it

ok so hi touch

i was freaking the fuck out (naturally... ok naturally for me i freak the fuck out over everything so this was just like 1000x the usual)

it was fast

too fast

first was chan

i practically ran up to him and was like HI

i can’t really remember the order afterwards

i almost took a step back when i saw seungcheol

like SHIT

i was blown away

like idk man i guess there was just something about him that i had never noticed before that moment i was like a foot away from him like fuck what a gorgeous human being

and like he was very... invested? in the hi touch

that’s the wrong word but it’s almost 3am ok my brain shut off ages ago

but like he was very into it and like i felt appreciated

SAME WITH VERNON

i almost said something to vernon

but fuck vernon looked at me straight in the eye

and naturally i couldn’t say anything

i might’ve said something stupid like i love you or something

but i’m pretty sure i froze before i could or i like stuttered it out who knows

vernon + seungcheol for me were the most memorable part of the hi touch

honourable mention to seokmin though

dude that boy is TALL

and also his smile would literally put the sun to shame omg

he lit up my world like nobody else (is that a 1d reference why yes it is)

i told wonwoo i love him

remember how i said wonwoo was flawless earlier

even more so up close

wonwoo has a really nice nose

i’m sorry was that comment too random

minghao was the very last

i think i tried to tell him that he did GREAT

i definitely stumbled over my words and i don’t actually know what ended up coming out of my mouth

something stupid probably

ok im rly sad about this

but i don’t remember hi touch with jihoon at all

we went through the exit of the venue was soon as the hi touch was over and i was like WAS WOOZI THERE DID I SKIP WOOZI I THINK I SKIPPED WOOZI

if he was right before/after mingyu

then i probably was just way too focused on mingyu take it in

i’m the worst i’m sorry :(

actually i’m not

i saved the fucking worst moment of my entire fucking life for last

fucking kim mingyu

literally

my least favourite person in the universe

did not fucking

look at me

while he hi fived me

he was looking at the girl in front of me

IDK WHY

but i’m so fucking pissed

ok more like i’m so fucking sad

i can’t believe

that happened to me

everyone else looked right at me for that 0.5 second interaction

but not kim mingyu

fucking kim mingyu

ruining my life

i’m like actually so sad

but i lied and i’m actually sadder about the jihoon thing

i can’t believe i can’t remember jihoon :(((

ok but they’re all... bigger? than i imagined

like not even just taller like idk on camera i feel like they all look smol but not irl???

they all have big (AND SOFT) hands but let’s be real my hands are just tiny

they’re all flawless and like lowkey paler than i imagined

was that the makeup idk

but srsly flawless

ok that’s it that’s all i remember

oh i remember another thing

carat bongs are SO PRETTY??? 

and just like in the dark omg when they’re lit up in the dark the effect is so nice

ok you all knew that

all in all i had an amazing time

i’m short and i was tiptoeing the entire time rip my legs and feet

svt’s performance is top notch

they’re all extremely bright and happy and literally showed no sign of being tired from the hectic schedule of the north american leg of their tour

thank you to everyone involved in bringing seventeen to toronto

the concert was truly a dream come true

[missyou-mp3-blog]

7/24/17 - MONSTA X concert experience/fan account!

i wanted to share with everyone (and for myself so ill always remember) of how my experience was with monsta x’s concert! i attended their 2nd LA date and it was my first time lining up early for a concert, and also my first time being in the pit. ill be putting everything in a bullet point list under a ‘read more’, but just know that my memory is shit and my thoughts are really unorganized. :’)

the line

my friends and i lined up around 12:30p and i was really scared bcuz of LA heat (im very sensitive to hot weather. also cold weather too.) + what were we gonna do all day waiting in line??

it actually ended up being ok cause it wasnt hot (it was cloudy, the air was cool, we were in the shade, and it even rained a little bit)

i also met up with another friend and her group in line!!

eventually our group had more people since we randomly talked to some other girls nearby us (so we were a group of 10)

waiting in line was actually enjoyable

but i definitely did not drink enough water and i only had one ‘real’ meal in the morning and survived on junk food/snacks throughout the day

i didnt feel good after the concert actually lmao i had a really bad stomachache when i got back to my friend’s place

anyways here’s some stuff i learned from other fans while waiting in line:

NO ONE LIKED KIHYUN’S PINK HAIR FROM FIGHTER ERA (i loved it tho...)

‘fighter’ is monsta x’s worst title track (some people said it was a shitty song but im being biased and am gonna say i still like it even though it’s my least fav too)

‘all in’ is monsta x’s best title track and should’ve gotten them their first win

im assuming a lot of monbebes are armys too

also... there was some guy selling unofficial monsta x shirts and a LOT of fans were buying them...

my problem with this is that on the back of the shirt it says “since 2014″, but monsta x debuted in 2015???

if it’s “since 2014″ for when the first ep of no.mercy aired?? then i guess that makes sense... but im pretty sure “since 2014″ is a mistake/inaccurate and i wish those fans didnt buy the shirt BCUZ OF THE WRONG YEAR... :///

oh and i also got a lot of freebies !!! like fans were passing out banners, fanmade postcards + photocards, etc.

the concert

security let me and some of my friend group (bcuz not all of us had P2 tickets) into the venue a little before 7p

we got a spot in the middle of the pit?? which was good, i thought, but my friends were thinking if we moved back to the P3 section we’d have a better view (bcuz once the concert starts everyone’s phones will be up lmao)

we ended up staying in our spot but as more people were coming in to the pit, it progressively got more crowded/squished (and people who werent SUPPOSED to be in the pit were in the pit too...)

but im assuming the pit wasnt that bad compared to day 1 since the pit wasnt even full (lots of space near the back) and monsta x didnt sell out their 2nd LA date

once it got closer to 8p the lights on the stage turned on and LITERALLY EVERYONE PUSHED FORWARD :(

and then monsta x had an intro video?? where it showed a picture of each member with their names and by this time i started tearing up bcuz that meant they were coming on stage soon and i was thinking “oH SHIT”

aND THEN WHEN THEY CAME OUT ON STAGE AND STARTED THE CONCERT PERFORMING “BEAUTIFUL” I WAS LITERALLY SOBBING

i was a mess honestly i was sobbing and sweating cause suddenly it got really hot in the pit HAHA

halfway through “beautiful” some of my friends turned to me and looked shocked and they were all “??? AMANDA ARE U OK???”

which i was lol but you know... i knew 100% that i was going to cry during the concert, but i just didnt expect to do it RIGHT AWAY and to cry that hard oOPS

it was probably cause i thought “wow im actually here seeing my ult bias group live and they’re so close to me and i can see them pretty well and im alive at this time bless”

but i was so embarrassed at my reaction and now whenever i hear “beautiful” ill probably cry remembering this

and i actually stopped and calmed down (they used “stop! calm down” reference a lot throughout the concert) pretty quick tho so i could jam and sing along to the next song

anyways here’s when my memory goes to shit lmao i dont remember the order/the setlist that much

but im pretty sure they performed “incomparable” before they did member introductions

and i was LIVING BCUZ INCOMPARABLE IS MY 2ND FAV SONG FROM THEIR BEAUTIFUL ALBUM

when they were doing member introductions, one of my friends wanted to get their attention so we did an arm(?) heart together

and apparently WE GOT WONHO’S ATTENTION BCUZ SHE GOT REALLY EXCITED AND SAID THAT HE SMILED AND POINTED AT US

BUT I DIDNT SEE THAT HE NOTICED US FML (idk where my attention was) T________T

but when hyungwon started talking i cheered for him the loudest/more than i did for the other members bcuz i was so happy he was there

i looked at hyungwon the most during the concert, mainly bcuz he stood on the side of the stage where i had a good view

and also bcuz hyungwon is SO BEAUTIFUL!! HE IS THE TRUE VISUAL OF MONSTA X!!

even though he was healthy enough to come to the LA shows, i think he was tired/not at his best bcuz during one performance he was sitting down on the steps of the stage and he had his hand covering his eyes :((( (idk if he was tired or if he did that to see monbebes up on the balcony better)

after hyungwon, the member i looked at the 2nd most was kihyun bcuz HAVE YOU SEEN THAT BOY????

when they sang “white love/girl” i thought i was going to cry since i always cry when i listen to it at home but after my first embarrassing cry i think i was done cause no tears came out lol

I REALLY ENJOYED ‘READY OR NOT’ AND ‘OI’ LIVE. im more of a fan of monsta x’s louder songs with the booming basslines (but of course i like their softer songs too!)

for the member unit stages, i wanted to take pics/record vids but everyone had their phones up during these times so i decided not to take pics/record anything and just enjoy the special stages

BUT I GOT REALLY SHY WITH HYUNGWONHO’S “FROM ZERO” STAGE BCUZ WONHO!!!! AAAAAAAAA

and then everyone went wild when hyungwon was kneeling(?) down and wonho touched him lmao

REALLY hoping starship will release a studio version of “from zero” on their next album or something bcuz I LOVE IT (esp the chorus)

i dont really have much to say about shownu, minhyuk, and I.M’s “24k magic” cover bcuz i couldnt see them/the stage that well but it was a fun performance i think!!

kihyun and jooheon’s “mirror” cover WAS SO GOOD??? IT WAS POWERFUL AND MY FAVORITE SPECIAL MEMBER STAGE. like the lighting for the stage, jooheon’s rapping, kihyun’s VOCALS.... all of it was perfect

also not to say that any of the members were ‘bad performers’ bcuz they’re all great, but i definitely thought that kihyun and jooheon were in general the best performers throughout the whole night

for “white sugar” the members threw candies/chocolates into the crowd and wONHO KISSED THE CANDIES/CHOCOLATES HE HAD BEFORE THROWING THEM

i didnt catch any of them but if i caught wonho’s???? not to be that fan but i probably would never eat the candy/chocolate l m a o

oh so i just remembered i didnt write anything about the VCRs, but that’s intentional bcuz i honestly dont remember anything from them.... 

all i remember was in one of them the members find hyungwon sitting up against the wall with his face busted and everyone in the crowd went “AWWWWW”

besides performances... what else do i remember...

there was wonho imitating the translator!!

and jooheon’s new(?) aegyo???? he didnt do the kukukaka thing but something (still cute) with his dimples :’)

and I.M sang some of that “L-O-V-E” song

also I.M asked the crowd, “do you know who the ace (member) is in monsta x?” and then he said something like, “it’s all of you! monbebe(s) are the 8th member of monsta x!” ❤

back to performances, when “shine forever” came on i tried not to laugh bcuz one of my friends’ sister said some stupid funny shit about kihyun’s part in the chorus where he goes “SHINE FOREVER YEAH YEAH YEAH”

so now whenever i hear “shine forever” i always think of what my friend’s sister said lmao. i used to not like that song that much tbh but i enjoyed “shine forever” live, it was great!

“TRESPASS” LIVE IS AMAZING; EVERYONE WAS SINGING ALONG AND DYING (INCLUDING ME)

then after they performed “fighter” they went off stage to prep for the encore so i used this time to sit down bcuz MY FEET WERE REALLY TIRED AND MY BACK HURT

glad they ended with “no exit” (one of my fav songs!!) and “5:14″, but i also dont really have anything to say about these performances lol

but wonho THREW HIS SWEATY TOWEL INTO THE PIT 

AND OF COURSE I DIDNT CATCH IT SO WHOEVER DID IS LUCKY

but even if i did catch it i wouldnt know what to do with his sweaty towel (again, not to be that fan but i would never wash it and try to conserve his sweat??? sounds gross but what else would you do lmaoooo)

kihyun said they’d come back soon (PLEASE COME TO SEATTLE) and they’d go to kcon in the future

and then you know there was the streamers and confetti (they only landed near the front of the pit tho asdlnfs) and then the boys bowed 3x and said good bye to everyone :’(((

for the ending video/credits the song that was playing was “miss you” but i didnt pay attention to the ending vid bcuz i was trying to find my friend group since we all got separated/paired off while in the pit lol

they didnt perform “miss you” or “stuck” or any of the songs from no.mercy but that’s ok cause the concert was still amazing and i loved every minute of it and it was only my 2nd kpop concert i’ve been to but it’s the best :(((

my throat ended up hurting after and my voice sounded a lot lower but it was worth it !!

hitouch

before i start i just want to say i HATE MYSELF bcuz i cant express how im feeling correctly/my facial expressions dont match with what i say so through the hitouch i hoped that i was smiling LOOOOL but im pretty sure i looked shocked the entire time

k so my friend group was freaking out

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO (INSERT BIAS NAME)??” “I DON’T KNOW!!!!”

when we were getting closer to the front of the line to see/hitouch the members we were all, “WHO’S THE FIRST MEMBER ALSDLA”

so the order for hitouch it was: I.M, hyungwon, kihyun, shownu <-> jooheon, wonho, and minhyuk (ill explain why i did the arrow thing for shownu and jooheon below...)

and how the hitouch was set up, the members were to your left and there was a table to separate them from the fans

i had my lightstick and a wonho paper heart in my left hand so i was doing hitouch with my right hand

I.M was wearing glasses and lemme tell you I.M IS HANDSOME AS FUCK

i had no idea what to say to him so i just said the first thing that came to mind and it was something like: “the show/you guys are so amazing!!”

and I.M smiled, closed his eyes, nodded his head, and had this really satisfied look on his face and he said thank you!!

hyungwon was next and i wanted to tell him “thank you so much for coming! please stay healthy/please take care of yourself” but all i ended up saying was “thank you so much for coming” ASLDA FUCK

then kihyun... OMG LET ME JUST SAY THAT KIHYUN IS SOOOO NICE

since i fucked up what i wanted to say to hyungwon i decided to just say “i love you” since it’s not hard to remember compared to a personalized message (even though they hear “i love you” thousands of times) + they’d understand “i love you”

but i told kihyun “i love you” and FUCKING KIHYUN... hE HIT ME WITH A BEAUTIFUL SMILE, CUTE TEETH SHOWING AND AN EYE SMILE AND HE WAS VERY HAPPY AND HE SAID “THANK YOU”

SO AFTER KIHYUN MY MIND WENT BLANK

so that’s why i dont remember if it was shownu or jooheon next IM SO SORRY AND I ACTUALLY DONT THINK I SAID ANYTHING TO SHOWNU AND JOOHEON AND I DONT EVEN REMEMBER TOUCHING THEIR HANDS FML BCUZ AFTER KIHYUN I WAS DAZED

but i remember shownu just had his normal resting face and then i do remember jooheon was smiling and i could see his dimples!!!!!

so then i think wonho and minhyuk were the only members who were sitting down, BUT WONHO WAS IN MY VIEW AND I PANICKED

cause wonho is my ult bias and... he means so much to me and there was no way i could express it in words so i quickly said, “wonho, i admire you so much i love you”

and all i remember was that he smiled at me and THAT’S OK THAT’S ENOUGH FOR ME IM FINE HONESTLY!!!

minhyuk was last and i was actually trying to rush... bcuz i kept hearing security saying to “move along” and i was the last in my friend group to do hitouch and i didnt want them to leave me behind so

i wanted to tell minhyuk “thank you for existing” bcuz this boy really makes me feel better when im feeling down and he is my source of happiness

but i think i just said “i love you” bcuz his reaction after would make the most sense if i said “i love you” to him

so i told minhyuk “i love you” and as i was trying to leave/go i could still feel his hand in mine??? like he didnt let go of my hand right away and i was CONFUSED

cause i was focusing on catching up with my friend group, but as my hand was slipping out of minhyuk’s i turned to look back aND MINHYUK’S FACE WAS CLOSE TO MINE BCUZ HE WAS LEANING OVER THE TABLE TOWARD ME AS I WAS LEAVING BCUZ HE WANTED TO SAY “THANK YOU” AND HE SMILED AND NODDED HIS HEAD AT ME

I LOVE MINHYUK WE HAD A LINGERING TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!1

AND I DIDNT CRY AFTER THE HITOUCH/EXITING THE VENUE BUT IM CRYING NOW BCUZ THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE IS ONLY HITTING ME NOW HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!

but really though the whole day was truly amazing (i know i said this so many times asldjsal) and i had such a fun time... seeing monsta x, even though they’ll forget me, ill never forget them. ❤ being there to see them live and up close and there with friends i’ve only met for the first time + making new friends has become my most happiest experience ever. thank you so much monsta x for my life??? i love them so much. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

[transssexualheart]

Do all, entertain me so I don't have to do hw

ah man i was actually doing hw for once

1- my name?rain

2- do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow, my brother calls me ron, my friends don’t really call me by any nicknames anymore

3- zodiac sign?leo, borderline virgo 

4- video game i play to chill, not to win?animal crossing

5- book/series i reread?harry potter

6- aliens or ghosts?uhhhh ghosts

7- writer i trust enough to read anything they write?idk if there’s any

8- favorite radio station?i don’t listen to the radio much

9- favorite flavor of anything?watermelon or blue raspberry

10- the word i use all the time to describe something great?idk, i say hell yeah a lot

11- favorite song?robbers by the 1975 probably (im listening to it now lol)

12- the question you ask new friends to get to know them better?i usually ask what they’re doing when we text and they tell and through this over time you hear about their family and intrests

13- favorite word?either “soft” or “gentle”

14- last person who hurt me, did i forgive them?not sure, i think i was the last person to hurt me, and i don’t really forgive myself for anything

15- last song i listened to?robbers by the 1975

16- tv show i always recommend?rick and morty

17- pirates or ninjas?see on one hand i have gay pirates and on the other i have nsp so idk

18- movie i watch when i’m feeling down?probably some pokemon movie lmao

19- song that i always start my shuffle with/wake up song/always on loop song?my alarm is nine in the afternoon by p!atd, i usually shuffle the fiddler on the roof soundtrack starting with the wedding dance song or now i have everything, on loop i usually have do i wanna know by arctic monkeys or sarah smiles by p!atd

20- favorite video games?any pokemon game

21- what am i most afraid of?the people i love secretly hating me or abandoning me or dying

22- a good quality of mine?uhhhhh,,, i guess um. my hair is dark? so it makes it easier to see facial hair and shit on me which is helpful for my trans ass

23- a bad quality of mine?i can’t shut up about anything i’m interested in bc i obsess myself with things that make me happy and always want to talk about them because they’re the the things that keep me alive but it gets annoying and i get a lot of “would you shut up about this subject”

24- cats or dogs?how could i CHOOSE

25- actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?i don’t pay a lot of attention to the actors for ppl in movies, i think the only actor i was willing to go see whatever they were in was u lmao

26- favorite season?spring/autumn

27- am i in a relationship?no

28- something i miss?the way things used to be sometimes

29- my best friend? i’ve considered u my best friend for a long time, if i didn’t delete messages u could probably find me talking to newer ppl (mainly chloe, who was that girl i asked out and rejected me) being like “yeah so she’s my best friend and she’s great”

30- eye color?brown

31- hair color?dark brown

32- someone i love?diakjgbjfgvldgjh

33- someone i trust?i trust u and zee the most

34- someone i always think about?Get Out Of This Home

35- am i excited about anything?dying

36- my current obsession?playing amazing grace on the piano

37- favorite tv shows as a child?i loved sesame street

38- do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?not really

39- am i superstitious?idk

40- what do i think about most?what the fuck do you think 

41- do i have any strange phobias?i don’t think so

42- do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?not sure

43- favorite hobbies?drawing, writing, playing piano

44- last book i read?the great american whatever, great book btw, read it if ur looking for more gay books. warning though for death (that’s not really a spoiler i promise)

45- last film i watched?blue is the warmest color, didn’t finish it tho

46- do i play any instruments?piano

47- favorite animals?cats and dogs

48- top 5 blogs on tumblr that i follow?@ dreamts@ maroonracoon@ hugables@ roswater@ fauning

49- superpower i wish i could have?to pause time

50- how do i destress?what

51- do i like confrontation?no

52- when do i feel most at peace?when i sleep

53- what makes me smile?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54- do i sleep with the lights on or off?off

55- play any sports?no

56- what is my song of the week?idk the week just started my guy

57- favorite drink?grape juice

58- when did i last send a handwritten letter to somebody?idk

59- afraid of heights?not really

60- pet peeve?when u tell someone to stop fuckin touching u and they keep doing it immediately after

61- what was the last concert i went to see?the 1975!! just last night

62- am i vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?no 

63- what occupation did i want to do when i was younger?i really wanted to be a singer

64- have i ever had a friend turn into an enemy?i’ve had fights with friends but we either made up or stopped being friends but aren’t enemies

65- what fictional universe would i like to be a part of?idk

66- something i worry about?friends when they’re sad, i know some of them probably won’t but i still worry about them hurting themselves

67- scared of the dark?yeah

68- who are my best friends?you, zee, shannon, spencer, i could go on but there’s a lot

69- what do i admire most about others?musical abilities, especially with singing

70- can i sing?idk, logically i have no reason to think that i can’t because literally everyone that’s ever heard me sing says it’s not bad or that i have a nice voice but i’m still unconvinced

71- something i wish i could do?sing in front of people without having an anxiety attack, speaking of singing

72- if i won the lottery, what would i do?buy myself and my friends a ton of shit probably

73- have i ever skipped school?i’ve faked being sick to get out of school

74- favorite place on the planet?idk man i haven’t been many places

75- where do i want to live?kinda wanna live in nyc

76- do i have any pets?cat named danny, two fish one named goldy and the other shaneeta dee

77- what is my current desktop picture?an nsp concert but i’ve been meaning to change it for a while now

78- early bird or night owl?night owl

79- sunsets or sunrise?sunsets

80- can i drive?no

81- story behind my last kiss?it was so long ago man i can’t really remember

82- earphones or headphones?earphones

83- have i ever had braces?no

84- story behind one of my scars?idk if i have any but i have a scab that i picked at until it bled in piano class because i was Not Ok and many times after for the same reason and that’s probably gonna scar now

85- favorite genre of music?idk

86- who is my hero?idk

87- favorite comic book characters?i don’t really read comic books much

88- what makes me really angry?when people hurt my friends 

89- kindle or real book?real book

90- favorite sporty activity?idk man

91- what is the one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be???????

92- what was my favorite subject at school?idk man i guess art is ok but i’m not the biggest fan of my teacher

93- siblings?two, one brother and a sister

94- what was the last thing i bought?probably food

95- how tall am i?i think 5′5

96- can i cook?i can make grilled cheese and also pancakes

97- can i bake?if u give me a recipe then probably

98- 3 things i love?my friendspianosleeping

99- 3 things i hate?donald trumpdepressionanxiety

100- do i have more girl friends or boy friends?idk a lot of my friends are non binary or i don’t know their gender

101- who do i get on with better, girls or boys?im tempted to say girls but that’s just bc i have a preference for girls romantically in reality it doesn’t really matter as long as u aren’t a dick

102- where was i born?albany

103- sexual orientation?pan, probably somewhere on the ace spectrum bc sexual attraction is so so rare for me so if i think ur hot u better believe u are

104- where do i currently live?new york

105- last person i texted?you

106- last time i cried?not sure, i think last week when i had that big meltdown that y’all saw where @ hero-art was sending me asks through it

107- guilty pleasure?hhgghg,,hggg, watching vids of u singing

108- favorite youtuber?probably still the game grumps

109- a photo of myselfdamn bitch just search the tag # rain shows you his face

110- do i like selfies?i take a lot, usually just because my makeup looks cool that day, but they’re mostly shit

111- favorite game app?i don’t play game apps

112- my relationship with my parents?:/

113- favorite accents?idk man

114- a place i have not been but would like to visit?metropolitan museum of art

115- favorite number?five

116- can i juggle?no

117- am i religious?no

118- do i like space?it’s cool

119- do i like the deep ocean?it’s pretty

120- am i much of a daredevil?lol no

121- am i allergic to anything?i think grass

122- can i curl my tongue?yeah

123- can i wiggle my ears?no

124- do i like clowns?don’t really have an opinion on them

125- the beatles or elvis?i don’t listen to either of them

126- my current project?my dumbass lab writeup

127- am i a bad loser?i don’t think so

128- do i admit when i’m wrong?yes

129- forest or beach?beach

130- favorite piece of advice?“love everyone, forgive everyone, especially yourself.”

131- am i a good liar?i think so

132- hogwarts house/divergent faction/hunger games district?i’m a gryffindor and i didn’t read divergent or the hunger games

133- do i talk to myself?all the time

134- am i very social?no

135- do i like gossip?maybe? idk as long as no one is hurt

136- do i keep a journal/diary?i guess my writing blog is kind of an over exaggerated diary

137- have i ever hopelessly failed a test?i got a zero on a quiz once if that counts

138- do i believe in second chances?depends

139- if i found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would i  do?get my mom to turn it in to ppl who know what to do with it

140- do i believe people are capable of change?yeah i suppose, but depends

141- have i ever been underweight?no

142- am i ticklish?very

143- have i ever been in a submarine?no

144- have i ever been on a plane?when i was seven

145- in a film about my life, who would i cast as myself, friends, and family?ah man idk i don’t have an extensive knowledge of actors

146- have i ever been overweight?no

147- do i have any piercings?one in each ear

148- what fictional character do i wish was real?idk

149- do i have any tattoos?two, one on my ankle and another on my ass

150- what is the best decision i have made in my life so far?to realize that i fucked up and to apologize

151- do i believe in karma?i guess

152- do i wear glasses or contacts?i need glasses but don’t wear them much

153- what was my first car?none

154- do i want children?depends on who i’d have them with

155- who is the most intelligent person i know?idk man it’s kinda subjective isn’t it?

156- my most embarrassing moment?my whole entire life

157- what makes me nostalgic?old songs

158- have i ever pulled an all nighter?oh yeah

159- which do i value most in others, brains or beauty?brains

160- what color dominates my wardrobe?idk actually

161- have i ever had a paranormal experience?not really

162- what do i hate most about myself?i’m stupid, i hurt and bother others way too much 

163- what do i love most about myself?ok i’m honestly not being a self loathing dick on purpose here i genuinely can’t think of something i love about myself

164- do i like adventure?yeah

165- do i believe in fate? maybe

166- favorite animal?question already asked bro

167- have i ever been on radio?no

168- have i ever been on tv?no, but yesterday i got asked to be (i declined because of anxiety)

169- how old am i?fourteen

170- one of my favorite quotes?“and you know that it’s not good, that there is no good, that nothing good can ever come out of it. but you do it anyway. and then... well. and then you burn.”

171- do i hold grudges?depends

172- do i trust easily?i don’t think so

173- have i learnt from my mistakes?yeah

174- best gift i’ve ever received?well my computer was p good though i payed for part of it

175- do i dream?yeah

176- have i ever had a night terror?yeah

177- do i remember my dreams, and what is the one that comes to mind?i do, and i just remembered the dream i had where there was this weird ass magical storm by my school that happened once thousands of years before on the same day and ppl thought it was a myth but it wasn’t, it was controlled by some ghost of a little girl and it lasted for weeks and eventually within our small shelter by the school people just died arbitrarily and some died from the storm who went out to try and get food and some starved, and soon all that was left was me and three others and it was horrible because every time we closed our eyes we were afraid we were going to open them and someone would be dead

178- an experience that has made me stronger?idk. probably my dad dying?

179- if i were immortal what would i do?try and undo that immortality or send myself into a coma forever because god i already want to die having to live forever would be the biggest curse ever

180- do i like shopping?sure

181- if i could get away with a crime, what would i do?idk man i don’t think about a life of crime much

182- what does family mean to me?people who care about me and love me and that i care about and love back

183- what is my spirit animal?im p sure that as a white person i’m not supposed to have one

184- how do i want to be remembered?for kindness

185- if i could master one skill, what would i choose?being better at piano

186- what is my greatest failure?everything

187- what is my greatest achievement?don’t know, i’m not proud of many things that i do

188- love or money?love

189- love or career?love

190- if i could time travel, where and when would i want to go?nowhere, i don’t want to spoil the future for myself and i don’t want to fuck with the past

191- what makes me the happiest?FUCK off

192- what is “home” to me?being with someone i love

193- what motivates me?i don’t know. not much anymore

194- if i could choose my last words, what would they be?idk, it depends on who i’d say them to

195- would i ever want to encounter aliens?if they’re nice then yes

196- a movie that scared me as a child?coraline

197- something i hated as a child that i like now?idk

198- zombies or vampires?vampires bc baz

199- live in the city or the suburbs?city

200- dragons or wizards?wizards

201- a nightmare that stayed with me?so this is from when i was little, my dad was driving my brother and i to the park and i was in the backseat bc i was tiny. so i said something to him and got no reply, i looked over and he wasn’t in the front seat, he was gone and nobody was driving. i look out the front and we’re headed for a part where we were meant to turn and there’s a giant steep hill and the car just keeps going forwards. it drives up the hill then flips over and crashes and rolls back down the hill and then i woke up

202- how do i define love?oh gosh. it’s in trusting other people to tell everything, even if they don’t “get” you, even if they won’t understand what you mean or how you feel because you trust them. it’s in the way you feel accepted around them. and all the inside jokes and knowing glances and doing everything you can to help when they’re down and feeling at home around them.

203- do i judge a book by it’s cover?a little

204- have i ever had my heart broken?yeah

205- do i like my handwriting?not really

206- sweet or savory?sweet

207- worst job i’ve had?never had a job

208- do i collect anything?ramune bottles and pokemon cards 

209- item of clothing or jewelry you’ll never see me without?don’t think there is one

210- what is on my bucket list?kiss a girl

211- how do i handle anger?vent to a friend

212- was i named after anyone?not with my first name, but my mom gave me my middle name after her friend from college

213- do i use sarcasm a lot?no.............of course not

214- what tv character am i most like?not sure

215- what is the weirdest talent i have?talent. What Is That

216- favorite fictional character?how could i choose one

thanks for asking