#idk how im gonna up the ante for next year maybe i just like

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 90

happy tdov here's the faves who, incidentally, i do headcanon as all being various flavors of trans

[vintage-marina]

A woman out of time (james norrington x f!reader) chapter 2

TW: suicidal thoughts, idk what the word is but the reader is seeing things that isn’t there

You washed your face and looked into the mirror, the circles under your eyes were enormous and it looked like you hadn't slept in days, what indeed was. Every time you closed your eyes you saw the battle of Wakanda or you saw the faces of people that you had murdered. Murdered, you had murdered them. You screwed your eyes shut and clung to the sink for dear life, a sob escaped your lips. I don't deserve this, you thought to yourself, your victims should be alive not you, them. Not you, Vision, Vision deserved it. Or Wanda, Bucky, Sam, Peter, T'Challa everyone besides you. T'Challa, yes he deserves my place, but he isn't here to take it isn't he? You softly hummed a song to yourself, a method to soothe you. After a few minutes of humming, you opened your eyes. Red, your eyes were red, you touched your cheeks and you realised you were crying. You stared into the mirror, you saw yourself but you couldn't reconise her. You stared to face and noticed the scars on it, they were small and were from the bomb that exploded right in front of you and you noticed the burn on your neck. You didn't found them ugly, but you didn't love them either. They were a part of you now and you couldn't do anything about it, just like your arm. You felt neutral about them. You picked up your toothbrush and brushed your teeth, the feeling of guilt slowly washing away. You knew that that feeling would never go away, but just like your therapist said you must learn to live with it, if you wanted to live your life in a somewhat peacful state.

Ever since half of the population died you didn't knew what to do, you felt like you didn't belong in the group that they called themselves the Avengers but you also didn't fit in as a civilian, so in the chaos that Thanos left you packed your bags and moved away, after you were fully healed ofcourse. You left everyone a handwritten letter and then you moved into a little old house on the shore.  

You heard the telephone ringing, you walked toward the livingroom and picked up the phone. Maybe it was Steve, Natasha or Tony you didn't knew. You wiped your tears away, stupid ofcourse because the caller couldn't see them. ''Hello, with Y/N'' you said into the phone, it was Natasha. ''Hey Nat! How are you? No, I'm not crying why did you think that?'' ''You know that you don't have to lie to me right? But if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to'' ''Yeah, I've been crying but I'm fine now. '' The last part was half a lie, you were fine but a few minutes earlier you weren't. ''Im glad to hear that you are doing alright, sometimes it is just so hard you know?'' You hummed in agreement, not knowing if she talked about her past or about the guilt she felt with the whole Thanos hassle. '' But, Y/N/N, I, no we have something important to talk about. Scott, you remember Scott right?'' ''Yeah, I remember him, he was snapped right?'' ''We thought that too but a few hours ago, he showed up on our doorstep of the compound.'' ''So he wasn't snapped away, you mean'' now it was her turn to hum in agreement. ''Y/N, what I want to tell you is that we can bring them back and we want you to be there,'' you smiled a little and you whispered: ''Ofcourse, I will be there'' ''We will pick you up in an hour, see you then'' ''See you Nat'' Natasha hanged up and you pressed the telephone to your chest and let yourself fall on your little couch and let out a laugh. A few minutes ago you felt on a point of breaking down and now hope streamend into your veins.

An hour flew by and you saw in the distance three figures walking, one blond headed, one red headed and one had dark brown hair. You openend your door and welcomed them inside, ''Hi guys'' you said to them and gestured that they can sit down, you went back to your little kitchen and brought back some drinks and cookies. You sat on a chair and turned your eyes to Scott, ''so you just showed up after 5 years of radio silence?'' ''Yep'' ''how?'' ''I got stuck in what they call the Quantum Realm'' ''What the hell is that?'' you mumbeled, ''Alright so, that realm is a microscopic universe on its own and if you want to be there you have to be really tiny. Time works different there and basically I got stuck there'' ''What do you mean time works different there?'' you asked to him. ''Well, I was missing for 5 years right'' you hummed in agreement, ''but for me it was 5 hours. So I thought what if we can navigate that universe and can enter it at a certain point in time but then exit the realm at another point of time.'' Your eyes widend and your brain couldn't proces it really, ''I don't understand what you mean and that doesn 't make ant sense Scott'' he sighed and then said: ''Timetravel'' ''Like back into the future type of thing?'' you said to him, ''Wait how do you know about back into the future Y/N?'' said Natasha surprised, you turned to Natasha ''I saw it on the television ofcourse!'' Steve furrowed his brows and said: ''How have I never heard of that movie?'' you shrugged your shoulders and focused your attention back to Scott. ''So how do you guys want to timetravel, I still don't understand how you guys want to do this but I'm in.''

At the compound

After you guys could convince Bruce to help, things had happend quickly. First of all he was green, that was pretty weird for you and for the rest of your team. He explained to your group that he emerged himself and the Hulk together, you were pretty grossed out about this and was scared to asked how he did that. Secondly, you couldn't convince Tony to help out wich was disappointing but not surprising, after all you two held contact and you knew that he had a family. You understood that he was scared to loose his life or his family so you didn't try to persuade him into helping your group instead you were chatting with Pepper. Thirdly, without Tony's help was Bruce all alone on how to make this time travel thing. You hoped that he knew how to make this thing, but you weren't so sure about it. Scott was the test person and when he was gone you thought it finally worked but instead he was a teenager, then he was a baby, then he was a grandpa and then he was finally back to normal. There was panic and not just a little! Natasha was relieved when she saw that Scott went back to normal and Bruce spread his arms out and said proud: ''Timetravel!"

''But it didn't work really work'' you noticed, ''yes but also no'' Steve shaked his head and then Bruce said: ''What? I see this as an absolutle win''

Night time

A radio was playing a soft melody. The woman who you stared at didn't move a muscle, she looked like a dear in headlights. Time moved slow, to slow for her and sweat was forming on her forehead. You didn't even knew her name or why you were here, you only knew you had one job. The room reeked of blood and it was coated on the floor, you raised your arm and pulled the trigger before she could even scream. You could hear her body fall, finally you woke up and you could hear your heart racing. You clenched your jaw and stepped out of your bed, your feet touching the soft floor, you hummed softly trying to calm yourself. But you couldn't hear yourself, all you heard was the soft tune of the radio. Shuffling in the dark is never easy, your fingers touched a wall and your eyes went wide. Blood, why was there blood on the wall. You squeezed your eyes and then you saw the pattern on the wall. It was dark green with little leaves and flowers on it, your hand flew towards your mouth when you realised you were not in your bedroom anymore. You turned your head and then everything went back to normal. You didn't saw the blood splatters and the wallpaper anymore but you were in your bedroom?

The next day

A lot happend during the day, Tony showed up out of nowhere. Thor was back, who looked like shit. Rhodey suggested to go back in time when Thanos was a baby and to strangle him, which you found very amusing and Clint showed up with tattoos and a sad background that he killed people just because his family passed away. Everyone grieves differently I guess, some people like me you thought are gonna live in solitude and other people are gonna kill people for the fun of it. So now you were lying on the floor next to Bruce, Natasha and Tony trying to figure out where the stones are. Tony, Bruce and you were arguing about which place and time is the most convienent but Natasha broke your quabble. ''Guys, if you pick the right year there are three stones in new York'' ''Shut the fuck up'' ''You're a genius you know that right'' ''Whoah'' were the three things that were said in unison to her.

After five years you finally wore your suit again. The med pack on your bag felt familiar and you almost forgot how thick the leather was, the only bad side was that you now had to wear a mask. On your wrist was a watch and after twenty explanations from Tony you understood how to work with that thing, above your suit you wore another suit were you would timetravel in. You are going to travel with Tony, Scott and Steve to New York 2012 because Tony could help you with your suit when you didn 't knew how to work with it. ''Can someone please explain to me why I would have to wear a mask again?'' Actually you did know why, because the four of you didn't want to risk that 2012 Steve would regconise you. The Avengers and you were walking in unison and you guys formed a circle. Natasha and Steve looked at eachother and she said to him smiling: ''See you in a minute'' a machine whirred above you and you clicked on a button to summone your helmet and then you were shrinking.

It was a really weird experience to say atleast, your tummy was doing cartwheels and you felt your fingers (but not from your vibranium arm) tingling. You saw blue everywhere and it looked like honeycombs. You marveled at this, but then someone's elbow went into your ribs and you flew out of the orbit. Instead of going right with the others you went straight ahead. Shit, shit shit! But everything went so fast you didn't even had more time to think about it. A flash happend and you had your eyes shut. Your vibranium arm was stuck into something but not for long, whatever your arm was in was ripping and flew down with you. You could hear yells and cursing and then you fell on the ground. Well, not ground but on wood? You heard it crack underneath you and you thought you had fallen through the floor. Something is strange here, you didn't hear any cars, you didn't hear airplanes and you certainly didn't smell the fumes. You sniffed again, and you regconised it, it was salty and now your ears heard the soft waves of the ocean. You were on the ocean, you cracked one eye open and right in your face was a small man with dirt on his cheeks and wearing a mullet. ''Witch! A witch is on our ship!'' Fuck.

[tsurangaconundrum]

Hey bestie!! Yeah that was me the other day with the mangos, seriously I really shoulda looked it up or something cuz that was almost as bad as the time i accidentally used powdered sugar instead of flour. I hope whatever beings that look down at us like ants talk about me like posts about jensen ackles. Maybe i wanna be the pretty man with the fruity little boots! You ever been in onea those houses that look like hgtv? I Do Not Belong Here. Also i forgot my meds at home lmfaooo. Youve probably seen those oil pumps, the ones that look like birds pecking, yeah? (unrelated but onetime we found some frog eggs in the water tank of one and we took em home and raised em up into frogs!). And they have those out in the ocean, one exploded recently i think?? So we was watchin a video on em and apparently they build em close to each other and idk if the guys from one rig will boat to another to like play cards or something but i think it would be fun if they did. Also i think theyre kinda rad looking, like if they werent so bad for the enviroment and stuff i think ppl should just live on those. I guess itd be hard to make money there? Tho they can be fairly self sufficient too i think. But ok there was this scooby doo episode on onea these and velma was like gay for this mermaid?? Idk it was pretty much my fav one except ofc she turned out not actually being a mermaid which was lame cuz i think mermaids fuckin rock. Tho i think the idea of freshwater mermaids is much cooler. Like imagine getting pulled to ur death in a river not by the undertow but cuz u stepped too close to a mermaid hole. Fuckin awesome shit there. Ohh speaking of which I seen ur thing on japanesenatural, but like. Thats such a clever take on spn??? Everything i know about japanese ppl comes secondhand, friends, neighbors, social studies, etc. but i like reading about ur stuff on it. Every time someone takes spn and looks at it through a different lense, especially identity based, its always so good. Its about giving fictional characters ur lived experiences and processing things thru them ig. Also i saw yall was talking about poems earlier and while i dont know a lot of em i rlly like that one about the orange and idk if someone brought that one up already. “I love you im glad i exist” OK!!!!!! OK!!!!!!!!!!! I am feeling some things! Love how cas is very into bees like every time this bitch mentions insects im just!!!! Mmmm and i personally, being rhe person who has a ton of useless info on insects (not so much specifically bees but i know some. Mostly cuza castiel actually.) very much enjoy this. Yessssss lets talk about insects ily bestie!! I love being friends with other queer ppl…. Like omg same! I dont remember what i said to u last time also i feel like i just talked a lot so im gonna go before i start repeating myself also isnt it so frickin crazy its sunday??? And like the 4th of july. Here they only can have sponsored city approved firework shows so they already did those, but back home peoplell still be shootin off fireworks till next sunday lol. Im glad we arent doing anything this year. Learning from perspectives outside of the country has made patriotism taste much more rotten. How ru????????? I think its weird when ppl have cameras everywhere like in the house im in theres an ipad set up in the kitchen and u can see every angle of the outsidea the house. Some guy in my neighborhood has like floodlights and a buncha cameras all over their house that always comes on when im walkin the dogs at night and ik they got robbed a few times so /ig/ it makes sense but also theyre all really annoying and the dad is a cop and every person in my neighborhood who got robbed was a total asshole so like??? Is it rlly a crime if its funny?? Mbby if u stopped posting about qanon on facebook ppl would like u more smh. No but crime is bad ig. I wish ppl would garden with me cuz a lotta these people have nice manicured lawns (and seriously FUCK those. Biodiversity ftw babey!!) but dont rlly know how to garden which is different from me cuz i know how im just bad at it

DSFJJSDFJKL dba first off. powdered sugar instead of FLOUR????? also im so glad you like japanesenatural i think it's very fun as well! tasty treat just for me. as for the orange poem it's literally my favorite poem of all time i read it for the first time like sitting in class and fully tearing up it's so good. happy fourth of july to you too! i hope you have many people to talk insects with bestie. as for gardens i literally killed my little cactus i kept in a window sooooo. oops. i'll leave that to u guys.

[soyatenada]

ooh crappiest thing ever done to me 😩😩 actually I’ll do a list since idk which one takes the cake

1. my biggest crush (wasted 4+ years of my life on that man 💀) and me talking to each other, a classmate comes up and says something along the lines of “you look like a couple/you look cute together”, he immediately screams EW NO SHES UGLY and due to my unfortunately terrible body image issues at the time I said “yeah he’s right” and laughed it off, also told me my sisters were ugly after back to school night ☠️

2. Being used as a pawn in a love triangle when I was the one that originally liked the boy ☠️ this was a different crush, 2 people in my friend group liked him and forced me to keep asking him who he liked and follow him around to figure it out and document it in a journal cause I sat next to him 💀 little did they know I had a huge crush on him to the point that he was the worst cause of my body image issues but I’m pretty sure they thought I had no chance anyways cause well 💀 I’m tall and black and the school was predominantly not that 💀 it was embarrassing the things they made me do and he called me annoying for it so I guess that ruined my chances 😭

3. My sister being mad that day and saying I add nothing to the family when I was 6? 7? and she was 14 💀 I really did feel useless for a while 😭

4. Me having some sort of phobia of something and my mom going batsh*t cause I kept having phobias so she spanked me and threw an assortment of objects at me including a chair, a large metal pot, a soda can (popped on impact lmao) and the funnies one, a box of grapes, also was about to put ginger in my hoohah but my dad came in and I was saved by the bell 😭✋

Tw//: s*icide : Oh yeah special mention to me finally admitting to being s*icidal for years and my dad saying that if I did it they (my family) would get over me 💀 like yeah bruv I know but that’s not exactly what I wanted to hear rn bro 😭

5. OOH THIS ONE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL MAKES ME MAD I was defending a boy in my class cause another boy said something rude to him (I guess the boy I was defending and I were friends? My friends thought he had a crush on me but I’m guessing not from what happened 💀) and when I did the kid insulted me and called my hair “burnt ugly ramen noodles” (they were traditional box braids, I’m ghanaian 💀) and the boy I defended LAUGHED AT ME LIKE BRUV AFTER ALL WEVE BEEN THROUGH 😭✋

omg this became really long I feel like it kinda seems like I’m using this ask to vent pain but I promise I’m over most of these EXCEPT THE LAST ONE SCREW YOU SEBASTIAN 😭

im literally pspeechless

first of all FUCK THAT GUY WHO SAID YOU'RE UGLY SO NONCHALANTLY i can't even express how much I feel like tearing his throat out???????? what an immature little shit, you're gonna show him EXACTLY what he is missing out on. what an absolute ANT

second of all, FUCK your friends who took advantage of you, i hope they're happy if you know what i mean

thirdly, maybe your sis has changed now and is a better person today, but that was hella mean and abusively said and you're so strong for enduring all this bullshit wtf

fourthly: your mom throwing shit at you?? youre SO strong for being able to look back at it with such a lifted spirit?? damn i can't even do that myself you absolute LEGEND

fifthly(?) FUCK your dad, gently though, idk how much you love him but what he said makes my piss boil. the fact that you're still standing, even after your family being??? how can it even be described -- you're just so fucking fierce

and finally: FUCK SEBASTIAN, that was SO rude, inconsiderate, and DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOUR

dear lord; protect this anon at all costs. be with them through their troubles because their life is mildly concerning and i wish for them to be very happy. pls make sure that all their enemies may rot and disintegrate at the bottom of a sewer. bless their strong fighting soul, amen

[itsthwippingtime]

so on Thanksgiving i saw Frozen 2 and it was AMAZING and I've only just now had the time and energy to finish my thoughts on the movie and share it with y'all so here it is. Disclaimer: Sorry for how long it is

!!!!! MAJOR FROZEN 2 SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!!!!!!

first, baby anna and elsa???? I’m dead

thjkhsdhjk the story they came up with is literally how every child played with barbie dolls and doll houses

(children are so dramatic also why did we all have the same childhood)

oooh mystery about the past 

their dad is so dramatic now i know where Anna and Elsa get it from

four spirits: Earth Wind Air Water how original

(everything changed when the fire nation attacked)

(okay but while their dad was telling the story about the northedral (???) i was totaling believing this is where Elsa got her powers from)

THEIR DAD WAS SAVED BY THE VOICE

(but Elsa was born with powers so her mom is totally magical)

where the nORTH WIND MEEEEETS THE SEEEAAAAA

i love their mom omg i love this song also

(okay but at this point i was like??? did their mom save their dad)

ELSA IN PURPLE I LOVE HER

Elsa being startled and sticking herself to the railing with ice is comedic gold

ANNA’S HAIR I LOVE IT

why is Olaf’s never-ending existential crisis the most relatable thing in this movie 

also i love this song about things never changing

hi the line about a stone wall never falling??? FORESHADOWING

KRISTOFF LOVES HER I LOVE HIM HE IS SO PURE

HE HAS A RING

Elsa singing about being afraid of change but seizing the day?? CHARACTER GROWTH 

Arendelle flag will always fly??? FORESHADOWING

family game night??? i fucking love it

Olaf shouldn’t be allowed to play charades that way Anna is right

but Olaf imitating Elsa??? iconic

Elsa playing charades is me playing charades

THE VOICE

TELL ANNA ELSA

oooh Kristof honey don’t,, don’t do it like that,,, honey

if Elsa is comforted by their mom’s scarf where was their mom’s scarf in the first movie??

Anna singing Elsa to sleep????? so pure

THE VOICE (AGAIN!)

INTO THE UNKNOOOOOWWWWWWWN

i love this song

‘Everyone I’ve ever loved is here within these walls’ so she loves Kristof???? good me too

where does Kristof sleep?

THE SPIRITS!!! HER ICE IS SHOWING HER THE SPIRITS RIGHT????

oh its the part with the ice suspended in air from the trailer

EARTH AIR FIRE AND WATER 

so um the fire went out and its windy and they’re going to the cliffs???? okay???

ummm Elsa did you awake the spirits on purpose??? did you know what you were doing?? you never said it was an accident????

Elsa you cant go alone you’re team has to go with you or else its not much of a movie now is it Elsa. don’t be selfish share some screen time

i just love their outfits so much i want to be a princess in Norway please and thanks

Olaf and his fun facts are literally me

ELSA’S ICE CASTLE THERE SHE IS i wonder if they ever go there. is it a vacation home

water has memory FORESHADOWING

‘Elsa and Olaf are asleep,,, whatcha wanna do?’ UM WHAT

’Sven, keep us steady’ UMMMMM WHAT

THIS IS A PG MOVIE I WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE NEXT TO MY TEN YEAR OLD COUSIN THANKS DISNEY

oh Kristof honey

oh no Anna he didnt mean it like that

Kristof stop just stop

ooooh the voice is back

‘Kristof stop’ ‘Good idea’ I’m dead

i don’t really remember what happens in between them stopping and them finding the mist if anything but THE MIST

oooh they’re locked in. nice

okay so wind. thats fun.

the wind spirit is v smart because she knows which one is Elsa 

her name is Gale and i love her

hello water has memory

their father being saved by a young girl??? it’s their mom

okay so the northuldra (i googled it) begin to attack? or advance at least

ARENDELLE GUARDS

okay but lieutenant whats his name can get it

they’re frenemies

Olaf’s recap of the first Frozen is comedic gold i want him and Luis from Ant-Man to get together

i don’t really remember what happens at this part but: Elsa and Anna learn that their mom saved their dad (CALLED IT), their mom is northuldra (KINDA CALLED IT) and everyones been trapped in the mist since their grandfather was killed

(which that story is fishy but i don’t think king Elsa & Anna’s dad would lie so????)

OH WAIT FIRE SPIRIT HAPPENED BEFORE ELSA AND ANNA LEARNED ABOUT THEIR MOM

AND OLAF’S SONG OMG

samantha?

(that part was so simple yet so funny omfg)

olaf: “this will all make sense when i am older” all the adults in the room: :/

also notice how Elsa is mindful enough to keep the fire spirit away from the northuldra’s homes??? like i love her???

I LOVE HIM i think his name is Brunie but i don’t know how the people at the Disney Store came to that conclusion 

oh also Kristof and Sven run in to save the reindeer but Anna is only worried about Elsa??? idk maybe she knows Kristof can take care of himself and knows that Kristof knows when it becomes too dangerous but Elsa is going to try to stop the threat until she physically can’t and at that point it may be too late okay i get it

(okay but if they’ve been trapped and nothing can get in or out what do they eat??? like theres a lot more northuldra than arendelle guards so do they have designated areas they’re allowed to go in?? what do they do with the people who died?? probably bury them)

(also some if them are born in there and they’ve been in for decades so a generation maybe the beginning of the next one but how many of them are related????)

Kristof has a new friend and I’m so glad they’re not fighting over Anna

(take that toxic masculinity)

HES GONNA HELP HIM PROPOSE I LOVE IT

Reindeers are better than people (cont’d.)

the following are my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods

that guitar riff (?) at the very beginning? sexy

“you had to go and of course its always fine”

because Kristof loves Anna and knows that Anna loves him and they can do different things and still be in love and he doesn’t have to constantly be over her and controlling what she does

(take that toxic masculinity part TWO)

OKAY BUT Kristof saying its fine while simultaneously worrying that he’s losing Anna is absolutely breaking my heart

NORTH IS SOUTH RIGHT IS LEFT WHEN YOU’RE GONE

Kristof: “and i don’t know what path you are on” me: :((((

I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS A QUESTION OF WHETHER

WHO AM I???? IF IM NOT YOUR GUUUYYY?????

WHERE AM I???? IF WE’RE NOT TOGETHEEEERRRRRRR??????? FOREEEEVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRR

NOW I KNOW YOU’RE MY TRUE NORTH CAUSE I AM LOST IN THE WOODS

UP IS DOWN DAY IS NIGHT WHEN YOU’RE NOT THERE

YOU’RE MY ONLY LANDMARK SO IM LOST IN THE WOODS

WONDERING IF YOU STILL CARE

BUT ILL WAIT FOR A SIGN

(FOR A SIGN) 

(peep the Queen reference)

THAT I’M YOUR PATH CAUSE YOU ARE MIN

UNTIL THEN IM LOST IN THE WOODS

this concludes my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods

every time i type Lost In The Woods I wanna type Lost Into The Woods

okay SO

Olaf doing the siren call with Elsa is comedic gold

THEIR PARENTS SHIP OH MY GOD

peep Olaf with that gruesome “maybe there was nobody on board” when they asked how the ship was able to get through the mist

peep Olaf with the “why didn’t they just make the whole ship waterproof” 

THEY WERE GOING TO FIND WHERE THE NORTH WIND MEETS THE SEA THE RIVER FILLED WITH MEMORIES

THEY WERE GOING FOR ELSA

WATER HAS MEMORY BITCH

ELSA BBY ITS NOT YOUR FAULT

LISTEN TO ANNA YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CHOICES

so they go to the river

(low-key thought that was their goal the whole time but its fine)

ELSA!!! ANNA AND OLAF HAVE TO GO WITH YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

if Disney doesn’t make the ice-canoe part of the Frozen Ride in Epcot in some way shape or form i will be deeply disappointed

uh oh rock giants

oh waterfall

cave

thats fun

ah Olaf always the optimist

(but where did Anna get flint?)

Anna’s hair??? i love it

oooh Elsa on the beach

she can’t get her shoes or coat wet i understand

PONYTAIL?????

GO BITCH

YAAASSS QUEEN USE THOSE ICE POWERS

oh shit that water horse is trying to drown her

what the fuck he’s actually trying to drown her

AH SHIT ITS ELSA’S WATER HORSE NOW

YAAASSSS BITCH

sdahjhdskjhdsjk

ITS A GLACIER BECAUSE WHY FUCKING NOT

every inch of me is trembling

SHOOWW YOURSELLLF

ELSA HAS A DUET WIHT HER MOMN

IM FINE

ELSASN IS TBHE FIFHT SPRIT

THE BRIDGE

ELSA’S NEW OUTFIT AND HER HAIR I WANT

WATER HAS MEMORY

Elsa destroyed Han’s memory I’m dead

OH SHIT KING RICHARD (Elsa & Anna’s grandfather, i don’t remember his name)

KING RICHARD IS AFRAID YAASSS QUEEN TELL HIM ELSA

WAIT ELSA

GO TO FAR AND YOULL BE DROWNED 

ELSA WAIT

oh shit she jumped

OH SHIT SHES COLD BUT THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED HER ANYWAY

OH SHIT KING RICHARD KILLING THAT GUY FOR NO REASON

OH SHIT ELSA’S FROZEN

BUT SHE SHOT OUT ONE LAST ICE THINGY

we now return to this episode of Olaf and Anna Alone In A Dimly Lit Area With A Little Bit Of Fire

YAASSS ANNA GOT THE MESSAGE

BREAK THE DAMN

but Arendelle

OLAF

why isn’t that when Olaf and Anna are alone one of them is always dying

now i understand the no context memes featuring spider-man from Infinity War

okay so you’re telling me that Anna learned that her sister is frozen (pun intended) and Olaf dies in her arm and she still finds the energy to save Arendelle/the forest???

GO ANNA YOU GO GIRL ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT

DISNEY CAN’T KILL ELSA AND OLAF THEY’D LOOSE TOO MUCH MONEY 

oh shit the rock giants

KRISTOF TO THE RESCUE

AND SVEN OF COURSE

WHAT DO YOU NEED I LOVE HIM

THEY BROKE THE DAMN

OH NO ANNA DONT FALL

ANNA GET OUT OF THERE

LIEUTENANT WHATS HIS NAME AND KRISTOF SAVE ANNA TOGETHERDSKJAD

ELSA AND THE WATER HROSE THEY SAVE ARENDELLE SYDJHASDJKFHSDA

the Arendelle citizens literally are so hilarious to me all they know is: the spirits are mad and all the heirs to their thrones went on a dangerous journey to save their kingdom, with no guards to protect them, then a tidal wave comes rushing towards their homes and suddenly their Queen who has always been quiet, modest, and reserved comes riding in on a fucking water horse in a boss ass outfit with her hair down and saves the kingdom. like???? imagine being on that cliff??? and all they do is clap???? I’m so dead

poor Anna :((( but Kristof is doing his best to comfort him like i love him

ELSA GO TO HER ANNA GO 

THEY’RE CRYING CAUSE THEYRE SO HAPPY KJDASDHSJKHFJKSAD

ARENDELLE IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY

OLAF IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY

KRISTOF PROPOSED IN THE DORKIEST WAY BUT ANNA’S REACTION WAS THE CUTEST I LOVE IT

(WATER HAS MEMORY)

ELSA STAYS AND ANNA IS QUEEN

CUT TO ANNA’S CORONATION AND THE NEW STATUE AND THE ENCHANTED FOREST IS ICE NOW AND ELSA HAS A WATER/ICE HORSE AND GALE HELPS ANNA AND ELSA COMMUNICATE AND THE ROCK GIANTS ARE NICE AND BRUNIE IS STILL THE CUTEST AND ANNA AND ELSA STILL HAVE FAMILY GAME NIGHT

(okay but did anyone else find it odd that Elsa didn’t go to Anna’s coronation)

(also the Northudral are just totally fine with living in ice and snow and cold now too??? idk i guess Elsa asked first but whatever its not like they can say much she’s the fifth spirit so)

Olaf wearing clothes has me dead

Anna: tells Kristof she likes him “better in leather” me: when does he wear… leather :O (Anna’s freaky yo)

final thoughts: Amazing movie, the constant shade of Hans was absolute gold, Kristof is so pure, Anna and Elsa’s relationship is so amazing, everyone’s character growth is absolutely amazing

if you read all of this, bless you child I’m so sorry it was so long

[sometipsygnostalgic]

JUST FINISHED GRAVITY FALLS

weirdmageddon was amazing! FAR better than most finales tend to be.

i wanted to know what the zodiac thing was all about though... i’d never seen it before but it was obviously important to the fans who had theorised about it.... couldnt we at least see what it would have done???? it didn’t have to be the final conflict!

ANYWAY i dont have as much to say about gravity falls as adventure time for obvious reasons so im going to rank it... Without further ado, it’s time to heavily overthink about cartoons!!!

Animation: 5 out of 5 hats - this is one of the most BRILLIANTLY ANIMATED childrens cartoon shows ive seen. there’s no weird inbetweens, the lighting for each scene is absolutely spot-on, it looks and feels amazing! honestly gravity falls looks like one of the strongest arguments for using script-driven shows instead of storyboard-driven shows, because cartoon network has never in its life produced something that looks this good.  When it used 3D CGI it was implemented smoothly. The characters had no absence of body language and cues either, it was never boring to look at. Disney does it again!!!

Humor: 4 out of 5 hats - While I dont think this show is the literal funniest thing I’ve ever watched, it is consistently entertaining throughout the entire series which is more than I can say for the two cartoons (AT and SU) that i’m unfairly comparing it to. Humor is one of GF’s strongpoints, because the jokes it throws at you out of complete nowhere will always have you on ground. I laughed SO hard during this marathon, and the jokes are obscure enough that I’ll probably do the same thing on a rewatch. The animation helps significantly too. The character designs alone, especially Mabel and her sweaters, allow for plenty of visual humor. Soos is the sort of character that you dont know what hes going to do next. Grunkle Stan conning people got some of the hardest laughs out of me. Wendy is just.... Wendy reminds me so hard of early Marceline, except she will occasionally do something really cool cos shes from a family of lumberjacks. Let’s not forget Waddles, the MVP in the humor department.

Story: 3 out of 5 hats - If I made this post yesterday, I’d have ranked it 2 out of 5 hats. I never felt that there was any “story” to gravity falls, only some kind of ARG that added nothing to the experience because none of the questions were solvable until the answers had been revealed. But the second half of season 2 ups the ante on story by focusing on the Pines family and their relationships to each other, and you can feel tension rise especially when Dipper starts to hang aound Ford a little too much and you sense that poor Mabel is gonna be left in the dust just like Stan before her. Weirdmageddon also was way more entertaining than I expected! And how it ENDED? Oh jesus! The show’s final scenes were heartbreaking, if I’d been following for longer I might have started crying.

Characterisation: 4 out of 5 hats- holy crap, it’s just so much fun seeing the Pines family play off of each other. Each group has an entertaining dynamic, whether it’s playful like Mabel, Soos, and Wendy’s shenanigans, or more serious like Stan and Ford’s conflict. There was barely any time throughout the entire series that I was annoyed by how someone was acting, or thought that it was out of place and agitating. I think I might be giving this point a rather generous score because of how feelgood it was, rather than complex or deep, which in many areas it wasnt. For example earlier in the show the conflicts felt dumb, like the Jurassic Park episode where everyone was acting vaguely out of character to cause a sense of drama? idk. But later on it got more heartfelt, if predictable. Where else do I think it can do better?

Worldbuilding: 2 out of 5 hats - Yep, the area where I think Gravity Falls does the worst is worldbuilding. For 2 big reasons: The wasted potential of Gravity Falls itself, and the way its inhabitants were used. Maybe I’m just spoilt by the AMAZING job Adventure Time and Steven Universe do with this, but the land of Gravity Falls fails to be as interesting as Ooo or as realistic as Beach City. Idk, i think it’s more ENTERTAINING than Beach City but more because I get more laughs out of the show than recent SU. The issue with Gravity Falls’ civilians is that unless you’re a Pines, youre a straight up Cartoon Character. That rules your characterisation and your purpose for existence. This is fine and yes there are some memorable characters but they never have those hilarious moments of humanity, like the episode Root Beer Guy where the title character gets into conflict with his wife cos she thinks hes too involved with his actual realistic mystery novels, or the Graybles ep where Starchy ran away from the candy kingdom to get rid of a tracker in his tooth cos he knows  PB was spying on him, and he runs a little club conspiring against her like some kind of real life political group. His club and Kim Kil Whan having King of Ooo memorabilia lmao. I’m getting too into this but its moments like that which make Adventure Time feel great. 

As for GRAVITY FALLS ITSELF, yeah because the world doesn’t feel as real as it could be I never wanted to see what it had to offer next, and there’s never explanation for all of this. The journals play a much smaller role in the series than Dipper’s reactions over them would have you think. The closest thing to an explanation is the pondering over whether a spaceship caused the weirdness in GF or was drawn to the area because of this weirdness. But is it magic? Is it science? Is it different dimensions? Fuck knows! Is there any hint about the truth? I’m not sure! Yeah, not all things need to have answers, but it helps fire off the thinkpan. In Adventure Time the Land of Ooo’s weirdness is linked to an apocalypse that helped bring magic back to the land. The hint is that the magic potential was always there, because there were magical societies around millenia before humanity. Did magic disappear because of a comet hitting the planet? Is magic actually based on scientific principles? Like GF, not all these questions have direct answers, but unlike GF, you have enough incentive and evidence to construct your own theories. It lets you get absorbed in the lore of Ooo, of the characters inhibiting it. This is my own perspective anyway. 

I think the most amazing mysteries I ever saw unwravel were Simon and Marcy’s adventures, and more relevant to my own experiences, PB’s age. Like there was puzzle pieces and hints around indicating Peebles had been around way longer than 18 years or whatever but we finally got confirmation in Season 5.2 where we saw consecutive episodes showing her in the past. The theory was that she was younger than 1000, but could be any age older than about 50. The Vault was a shock origin story for not just Finn having had a past life as a girl without an arm (THE ARM BEING ANOTHER ADVENTURE TIME THING THAT EVENTUALLY GOT some really back and forth PAYOFF), it was an origin story for peebles and the candy kingdom! but why would she make it?? ? yeah this was all stuff we were able to construct theories for, and accurate theories, because the evidence was there and more significantly the Writers were putting it together at the same time. It almost felt like we were having an INPUT in the story because of this natural way it evolved over time. That’s why AT’s mysteries are far more engaging than those of Gravity Falls, at least for me.... but maybe the same thing happened to GF fans????? Because I wasn’t there to put the pieces together, to study the Pines family or the Bill Zodiac which.... was almost as much a copout as Finn’s arm but its ok cos the stan deleting his memories shit was a decent end anyway. I just dont know why theyd  put a mystery like that IN there if it was always going to be a red herring???

To conclude this description which..... ended up being another reason to talk about Adventure Time again, I want you to know that I REALLY enjoyed Gravity Falls. It reminded me of Over the Garden Wall in how it’s told, the characters it has, but much larger and grander than OtgW ever was. 

My favourite characters were Stan and Mabel. Yeah, Dipper and Ford were very interesting characters too, but while they’re among the top of their trope, they still feel like an overdone trope to me.... especially dipper and his Issues,,, Stan meanwhile I liked that he was a runaway fuckup nobody as a child who became a professional conman after his parents kicked him out. That was an interesting backstory.  

Gravity Falls, all in All, gets 3.5 out of 5 hats. To keep it real. Spend them wisely.

[persional]

im only getting drunker and im outta content so im gonna write a post for sober me to stumble upon one fateful day and the post is gonna be about laurel i really miss them and i dont know where we stand at all im really bad at casual unlabeled things i was bad at polyamory im bad at it ! i realized recently we had 2 first kisses and they called the 2nd one “the real one” im in l*ve maybe not really but i keep thinking i think bc it’s conditioned in me i don’t like the time before you get to say i love you why cant i just tell everyone i love them all the time except like friends that im not that close to who will just say it like thats not ideal. they said and then repeated that they want to see me as soon as they get back and it’s like that reassurance i keep coming back to and i hate being the one to always text back but most of it is im fucking bored theres like 3 people left here who will voluntarily hang out with me. im so glad i dont lie that takes so much of the weight off of my social interactions to just be like yeah im gonna tell the truth rn. the first time we had s*x laurel said promise me one thing just promise me you won’t break me into a billion tiny pieces just promise me you won’t lie to me. and i was like i have some extremely good news for you because i only ever lie to myself. i like them a lot. a Lot. kissing them feels like being on a roller coaster which i know because i went on a roller coaster a few weeks ago and as we started to freefall i thought this is exactly what it feels like to kiss laurel. i feel like their name shouldn’t be capitalized so that way the beginning can be the same as the end like a marble rolling around in your mouth that starts and then ends right on the tip of the tongue even though technically one is a light L and the other is a dark /l/. im drinking my last four loko tonight and hoping to get schwasted and hoping to stop needing to drink in order to go to sleep soon. not my last of all time i should clarify just the last one we have in the fridge. savannah gets back on tuesday late night on tuesday and laurel gets back at some point on wednesday im not sure what time and im afraid to ask i think i’ll ask just a day or two before so there’s kind of... because savannah and i are planning to hang out a lot that day and also to get dinner with savannah’s cousins and although i dont think it would be the end of the world if i left in the middle of dinner it obviously won’t be ideal. im listening to my cancer season playlist and honestly it’s really good. i really don’t want to eat this apple pie i’d rather just have another quesadilla or better yet some fried rice. i guess i could microwave more peanut noodles but i kind of hate those at this point like theyre a little disgusting no ? i started writing this post bc i saw a post about someone’s favorite thing about girls they said it was ‘the way they stroke you’ and i thought about us holding hands and holding each other and their freckles and the coconut oil on their face and how their eyes are brown in the center and green on the edges  and how i don’ t deserve any of it im not sure if we’re anything close to dating but i still strongly contest savannah’s assertion that she thinks it’s just physical theyve said ‘i really like you (too)’ they said ‘i romanticize you’ they came to me house after i made that song, that song got me laid and i think about that all the time and it’s not like we always have sex sometimes we just sleep together in the same bed and i feel so real with them it’s so hard to feel like im not just slipping into the version of myself that somebody wants me to be and i realized after a year with adrianne i realized there are parts of myself that i’m putting on which aren’t parts of me at all there are parts of me! there is a height to the frequency to my voice! there is a demureness because she wants a woman and i can’t be butch and hers at the same time but i don’t feel like that now and im trying really hard to be real and i hope theyre doing the same i hope theyre not... once they came over with another friend after a party and once our friend left and we were kissing on the couch they started crying and i just wanted them to feel safe it’s so rare that someone is crying and you actually get to hold them. they were crying and im thinking about duck butter now because it’s usually me who isn’t real even if im not lying im not being myself and this time it’s not me so it can only be them and i never know how they feel or what they’re thinking and they’ll say something like uh yeah i like you or they’ll kiss me, once i was kissing them goodbye as i left their house and their housemate saw us it was so funny and also the first time anyone else has seen us kiss idk im not sure where we stand i asked about it probably too early when we were high i said what is this what are we doing and they said i don’t know but i like it. so like i really don’t know and i gave them a chance and i don’t know what to do like maybe they really think it is just a physical thing and they feel roped in but there have been times when they said things that absolutely were not required and i was like oh Hm? im just trying to be fucking real but theyre not great at communicating,, fucking air signs am i rite, theyre a gemini and i think about that all the time how ive dated 2 pisces and 2 leos, we don’t know each other which savannah has pointed out and the thing is im sure savannah is like just concerned for me but it comes off as if she’s not supportive of the relationship at all and im worried that shes jealous idk i know there are a lot of people who like laurel bc uhhh theyre hot and incredible and smart and hilarious and. everything god theyre such gf material. im so alone rn no one will even fav mine tweets. im a huge fan of the improv comedy team at our school, they recently changed their name to princess wolfpipe which is objectively a bad name but before it was fellatio rodriguez yeah porn bots get at me, anyway they didnt like that it was like 5 whiteys with the name rodriguez attached to it which is fair like very woke very reed of you sure. hhhhhhhhhh i just remembered they read my anthro essay and like.,, had sex with me After that. god. hell. wow. i must not be that bad at essays after all even the ones i half-ass. chrome is underlining so many of the words in this post little do they know im a linguist and a literature major. anyway i think i could be drunk enough now to admit ive not eaten pussy in like a week and it is in fact wearing on me at this point like im literally that tweet about the person stirring som e mac n cheese and passing out but it’s been honestly a week if that they left on the 3rd right so ya 8 days. ok i feel less bad about that bc i also definitely hadnt **ten them **t like that day i dont think we had rly like giggly sex at their house i think the night before and i drove them to work early in the morning and theyre so nice to me they know to wake me up with kisses which is so important bc im so... im so fucked i like them so much but im also just a fucked up person and i dont deserve thme. i should get alcohol prescribed for me. for sleep. and social anxiety. made a tweet about it, deleted it. made a quesadille! ated it !, imagine if i didnt eat so much especially while drunk. my body wants me to be huge but i want to be dead i want to be nothing. words are so bad whoever invented words im sure theyre dead they shoul be revived and shot again. ok so im eve drunker now and i’d like to say i want to hear them come again honestly i want to literally put my tongue insid eof them and hear them say my name i want to hold the folds of skin around their hips i want to hear them gasp i want to taste them i want everything i want to stroke their hands and kiss their fingers and their forehead i miss them so much i hate being physically far from everyone i love i want to sleep in their bed i want to fall asleep with our arms wrapped around one another unless i have to turn away and they understand adrianne never understood. i want them i really hope they still like me it would be so fucking sad for the chemistry to only go this way likea reaction that only goes inreverse so we’re left in the end with these raw materials like. like oil and water that can never relaly combine? like two molecules that can only lie next to one another but will always spring apart. i love their house i love their housemates i love the way they offered to make a powerpoint about food waste i love their goat milk and asiago cheese and cabbage pancakes fried rice i love the face they make when i run my fingernails over their scalp i love their voice i love their favorite shirt because it’s several sizes too big and all their clothes are black im not as much of who i am as they are and im not sure i ever will be because it’s willpower and money and i need to find other things in my life to want other than people who will always leave because literature tells us desire is always more than we think it will be and we will always be creating these overexaggerated versions of what ife will really be i need to finish proust i need to make somebody come i need to see their mouth open i need to kiss them i need cherries and enchiladas i need the ants and fruit flies to get the hell out of my house i need more alcohol and higher blood pressure and to divorce my family. how long does it take to be disowned. do i owe it to the people around me . i want kiss i want the moment when they came into my house on their fucking??? lunch break to kiss me and say yeah remember when kim kardashian posted a selfie and kanye west said hey im coming home now. and they pushed me up against the wall and their fucking fingers, i got my vibrator out afterwards and ive had to use it a few times since just thinking of us and the dream their housemate had where they came in and said hey stop having such loud sex even though it was really okay god almighty we should have louder sex this post is paragraphs long and it’s probably all my thoughts but im gonna keep going because i think about their fingers and their skin and mouth and voice and freckles theres no way they think about me this much im fucking pathetic i should probably kill msefl no one thinks about anything this much. but then again i guess i don’t it’s just condensed i have other things to do just what do i Enjoy thinking about it’s fucking being gay and tlaking to them listening to their music hearing them talk about having to lie down because of a fiona apple song such a fucking mistake to get involved with me no im the fucking worst im that fucking crazy girlfriend who won’t let go from the moment you lead me on im ucking hooked it’s so pathetic im extremely drunk just as a disclaimer for anyone who finds this. thats probably enought.

[gardenbiriety]

eeeekkkk christmas is the worst for dysphoria honestly

uhm so sui tw and family shit and just generally bad thoughts ahead 

yikes so i used to really like christmas but now its literally just??? how can i navigate my family without making my parents hate me and without wanting to kill myself more than usual and i forgto this part every year until we have to have dinner w ppl and i just? realise how? my family doesn’t give two shits abt me at all except for my brothers lmao like??? i’ve literally said calling me my deadname makes me feel like sshit and my ma wont fucking believe me until i fucking kill myself and even then? she would just say i was being selfish what a cunt honestly

like i acctually forget that im not ok and then i remeber when i said ‘since ur fmily i guess i can’t make u but i’d really fucking love it if u called me roman ‘ and my uuncle legit was like ‘well im still gonna call u deadname ‘ like thAnks dickhead if i didn’t love my lil counsin (and only one bc her younger brother is such a dick (he’s like 11 so  i try not t hate him) but he’s really fucking violent to his sister and whenever he hurts her she just doesn’t say anything but she accidently (or on purpose,,, but thats rareer bc shes such a sweetie ok i love her) but she tripped him on one fo thsoe big jumping pillow things and i (an almost adult at the time, this was like 6months to a year ago) had to physically get inbetween them bc he was determined to hurt her and he gets away with all sorts of shitty and cruel behaviour and she doesn’t even get away with retaliating and i lvoe her so much and it makes me so mad? but anyway she’s the only person (and maybe my aunt but less) who i like from their sect of the family and we have to have dinner with them and im gonna screm bc every time i see him i remember that and honestly????? 0/10 

but that doesn’t hurt as much as the facct that? my ma still doesn’t believe me? like i fucking started hurting myself when i was 12 but sure..... this is some sort of fucking phase and im just ‘wanting to be different too badly’ (fuck her honestly) im so???? i shouldn’t have to feel this shit and i probably wouldn’t if she just grew the fuck up and let me be???? like????? i dont give a fuck if u ‘always wanted a daughter’ ya didn’t fucking get one and ur gonna lose ur oldest kid if u keep this shit up like idk how long i can deal with her but i also ant leave and i dont know what to do and if i’m not working enough (to her satisfaction anyway) next year she’s actually going to have at me and i just????? i want to get out but there is nowhere to go because nowhere is safe im fucking???/ im stuck and i dont want to be here anymore 

is it that hard to take me seriously???? once i fucking pulled a muscle in my neck at someone elses house and they rung my ma to ask if i could have panadol and i was crying over the phone and she still accused me of faking (recently she told me she thought i had gotten addicted to drugs when i was in america for like? twenty days? because i had fucking panadol and ibprofen in my bag bc i didn’t realise ibprofen was not panadol and didn’t do the same thing and i wasn’t just gonna? chuck it out???) honestly i’ve fucking had enough 

AnD alSo she is always grumpy / easy to anger bc of work / her general suppression of emotions / ect and takes it out on us w/o consquence and i pointed it out and she legit just said ‘yeah but im an adult tho’ like???? honestly fuck u you dont get to do that iim so mad and im so sad and i fucking dont even know if theres any point? trying to maintain out relationship? like i love her but fuck she is not good for me at all and has, consistently, for years, managed to ruin almost all of my good days with a single word and i just fucking???? i’ve had enough and i cant be bothered anymore like all she does is set off bother my anxiety and dysphoria and screams at me until i get out of bed which makes it? even harder to get out next time??? she is still trying to manage my life and shit like???  fuck u??? if i need help ill ask otherwise leave me alone (ofc when i ask for help she’s fckign shiitty abt that too honestly ‘ask if u dont know’ ‘except if its ‘common sense’ or smth that i already know and u, also, somehow, telepathically do to’ like sometimes i jsut wanna ask for reassurance!!!! fuck u!!! jsut say yes / no and move the  fuck on it’s not that hard u dont have to be a cunt

i’ve been on the verge of tears for two days but its g its chill im just gonna have to make sure my ds is charged before the crhistmas family dinner and pray nobody writes my fucking deadname on any gifts bc seeing it written honestly causes me physical pain and accepting it will also do that fuck me theres nothing i can do except send judgmental looks (but on the downlow bc i dont waanna be ‘disrepecctful’ and have them dramatically try and take the gift back even tho i dont rlly care abt whatever shit they got me my ma would kill me) im so tired i can’t wait until i dont have to speak to these people ever again