#idk how i feel about these so i’m posting them from a q

[pessimisticprincess]

hey 🙇🏻‍♀️

[strniohoeee]

Besotted

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader(chubby reader)

Synopsis: Y/N has a crush on Matt, but feels like he won’t like her back because of her physical appearance. What happens when Y/N talks about her experience with guys in LA on their podcast, and Matt gets upset🤭

Warnings⚠️: None….Idk how I feel about it. I felt like I couldn’t wrote it better, but also idk it’s my own brain picking myself apart🥹

Song for the imagine: Why Can’t I?-Liz Phair

Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you?

Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you?

I think the hardest thing about being a bigger girl was liking a guy. Always on this see saw of they could like me or they could find me disgusting. It hurt a lot, and what didn’t help was being in the social media light. Your appearance constantly being judged and critiqued

I tried to not let the hate get to me, but occasionally it did. However, having loving and supporting friends surrounding me made it better.

I had gotten close to the triplets within the last year and a half, and it’s been interesting. I had their fans either loving me or hating me, and at times it got hard, but the triplets helped me not think too much about it.

Matt helped me the most especially since I also had anxiety like him, him and I actually grew pretty close. I started to like him a lot, and because of societal standards I forced these feelings deep down.

I couldn’t fandom to face the rejection from him if I ever came to tell him how I felt. I knew Matt would never like someone like me. It’s nothing against him, that's just what he’s used to. Skinnier, prettier and all around better. I tried not to think this way, but it was hard when that’s all you see in the LA influencer world

My feelings for Matt grew more and more daily, and I was hurting myself by thinking he could like someone like me. I mean he could? Couldn’t he?

Today the triplets wanted to film a Q and A podcast for their channel, and they had asked me to join, so I agreed. They made a post last night asking for questions, and boy did they get a lot

I had gotten to the triplets house, and felt so nervous to answer questions to the public

“Hey Y/N” Nick said as I came up the stairs

“Hey guys” I said smiling at them

“I love your outfit” Matt said coming over to hug me

“Oh thanks” I said hugging him back

“Yeah you look cute” Nick said

“Came extra pretty today” Chris said snapping his fingers

“Enoughhh” I said laughing at them

I was wearing wide leg denim jeans with a fitted black shirt that said fuck off and black chunky sandals….nothing special,so their compliments were nice but made me question did they always look at my outfits and my appearance? My anxiety spiking

We had gone up to the podcast room, sitting in our seats and getting ready to film

“Okay welcome back campers I’m your host Nick Sturniolo”

“I’m Matt Sturniolo”

“And I’m Chris” Chris said giggling

“Today we have a special guest with us, our friend Y/N” Nick said

“Hiiii” I said into the mic and smiling at my camera

“You guys were begging for more videos with Y/N, so why not an hour long video with her” Nick said

“And to make it better we’re doing a Q and A, so we can get personal” Chris said

“Perfect! Getting personal online, my favorite” I said giggling

“Laura picked out these questions for us by the way, so we have no idea what we’re getting ourselves into” Matt said

“Without further ado let’s start” Nick said

“Okay so the first question is where do you see yourself in five years?” Chris asked

“Ouuu nice” Nick said

“In five years I hope to see myself still doing what I love which is filming videos, and just growing with my brothers as a whole” Nick said

“I hope in five years I’m settled down in a nice relationship, living my cabin life and making videos with these two” Matt said

“I like that, and not to be the same but I’d like to be doing exactly what I’m doing now in five years. Just growing with everyone I love surrounded by me” Chris said

“Nice answer” I said nodding my head him

“And for you?” Matt asked me

“I uh I think for me, in five years I’d like to be further in my career, you know. I’d also like to be in a better mental state whatever that looks like. I’d assume I’d like to be in a relationship at that point as well” I said nodding at Matt

“Those were great answers” Chris said

“Okay next one” Matt said

“So the fans want to know what is the most embarrassing interaction you’ve ever had with anybody” Nick said laughing

“We as a whole will not be answering that, but maybe Y/N might have something”Matt said looking at the camera

“The most embarrassing interaction I have I can not and will not say as it’s embarrassing on my part” I said laughing and shaking my head

“Awwww” Chris said

“Sorry guys, but that’s going to the grave with me” I said laughing

We had asked a few more questions, and suddenly Nick eyes brightened at the question he was reading

“I like this one! This is for Y/N. The viewers want to know what’s the dating scene for you right now. Are you seeing someone, are you interested in someone…what’s the tea” Nick said looking at me

“Oh god I’m in the hot seat” I said widening my eyes

“You sure are” Chris said

“Alright I’m about to be real vulnerable with yall. I am not seeing anyone right now, I’m not talking to anyone right now, but I do have someone in my mind that I like” I said giggling and covering my mouth

“Ouuuu tell us” Chris said

“Absolutely not” I said laughing

“But no, what I was saying is the dating scene in LA is trash all across the board. However it’s even worse for me because I am a bigger girl, and that’s already not accepted by society. So when you’re in the influencer scene and you live in LA you don’t meet the nicest guys. The amount of popular influencers who have messaged me telling me that they would never collab with me or ever be seen with me because of my physical appearance is absurd. It’s hard especially when you like a guy that you know wouldn’t like you back, you beat yourself up over it. Because at the end of the day we’re all humans and we all crave love and attention, and we’re told that if we don’t look a certain way we’re not deserving of that love. So the dating pool for me right now is trash” I said shrugging my shoulders

“You know that sucks, and it’s bullshit. I think the way that the media is is so fucked up. Forcing these young girls to think that they should be a specific way to find love or be “pretty” is insane” Nick said

“Yeah I agree! It’s like who fucking cares what someone looks like it’s about what’s on the inside” Chris said

“100%” Nick and Matt both said

“Okay this next question is similar to the last, this person said Y/N please tell us how you secure a man as a bigger girl, no offense at all I’m just genuinely scared of going after guys I like because I’m bigger myself” Chris read

“Oh no offense taken, to be honest I don’t know like I said I’m not in the dating scene right now, so I have no advice. I myself am scared to reach out to any guy I find attractive because of how mean these guys are. My biggest fear is rejection, and when I’ve been rejected by every guy you start to build up a wall in your heart, and it’s hard to stop that” I said

“So I have a personal question” Nick said

“Yeah” I said nodding my head

“Is there any specific type of guy that you do find has reached back out to you, or has messaged you and hasn’t cared about your appearance” he said

“To be honest no. Big guys, skinny guys, medium guys, buff guys, all guys in LA have made it known they don’t like me. Or they want to keep me on the low and it’s just not worth it to put myself through that pain” I said

“That shit pisses me off so much, like why does it matter what a girl looks like. If she’s a great person who’s got her head on right it shouldn’t matter what her body looks like” Matt said

“I agree” Chris said

“I would date any girl doesn’t matter if she’s bigger, smaller, shorter or taller as long as her morals are in line and she’s a great person I could care less” Matt said

“Tell us how you really feel” Nick said laughing

“It’s the truth. That’s what pissed me off about LA they all have this image, and if you don’t fit this image then you’re not worthy of anything, it’s just stupid as fuck” Matt said

“Bouncing off of what Matt said, I completely agree I’d date any girl. Like I’ve said in the past videos I love all women, doesn’t matter what you look like” Chris said

“That’s the other thing women would date these gross ass gremlins, and then one of these ugly ass guys would look at a beautiful woman and pick her apart, like I promise you she wouldn’t even look your way” Nick said laughing

“No I agree….men are just shallow you know. Not all men, but most are shallow and only care about looks” I said

“So Matt for the viewers, who would you date?” Chris asked

Matt looked at the camera

“I would date anybody, I would date Y/N” Matt said

“WOAHHHH” Nick said

“No I would. She’s got her head on right, her morals in line. She’s funny, nice and beautiful, and not once did I bring up her body because it doesn’t fucking matter” Matt said

“Matt’s getting bold” Chris said

“If I didn’t know Y/N and I walked past her on the street, or she slid in my dms. I would without a doubt ask her out” Matt said

“Honestly same, she’s someone I’d ask out too had I not known her” Chris said

“You guys are so sweet stop it” I said blushing

“What’s crazy is Y/N is literally both of theirs type, and I’m just now realizing this” Nick said laughing

“I appreciate you guys truly and understanding where I’m coming from. I love talking with you guys” I said

“We love keeping it real, and we love you” Chris said

“Alright campers that is it for todays podcast we love you all so very much, and if you want Y/N and Matt to go on a date like this video” Nick said laughing

“Shut up” I said playfully smacking him

“Edit this video of us, and I’ll take Y/N on a date first” Chris said laughing

“Oh don’t you both fight over me at once” I said laughing

We had ended the podcast, and headed back down to the living room sitting on the couch

“Would you actually go on a date with me” I asked Matt

“100% would” he said smiling at me

“Hmm” I said looking at him

“I mean, would you go on the date with me?” Matt asked shyly

“I would” I said looking over at him

“As a friend or?” He asked

“Well it’s a date, so it would be more with the intentions of eventually dating” I said smiling

“Oh” he said looking shocked, oh god did I fuck it up

“OH? THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY” Nick screamed at his brother

“No im just trying to make sense of this” Matt said lookin at me

“The gears are moving” Chris said looking at Nick

“Do you like me back?” Matt finally asked me

“Like you? Matt I’m like head over heels for you. That’s why what you said up there….I need to know if it’s true because I don’t want to get my feelings hurt” I said to him

“No no I would never do that. Y/N I have liked you for so fucking long” Matt said smiling at me

“You like me?” I said pointing at myself

“How have you not seen it? This kid is practically drooling when he sees you” Chris said

“Shut up” Nick said to him

“I wasn’t sure that the feelings were mutual. I was honestly so scared to say anything” Matt said

“You scared? Matt I was petrified to even look at you. I was so scared that you were going to be just like the rest” I said shaking my head

“I would never be that way, that's not how I was raised. You’re a gorgeous girl and you’re funny and smart and nice, and I can keep going in the list of things I like about you” Matt said

“Matt I like you so fucking much you’re all I’ve ever wanted in a guy, so to know the feelings are mutual is really nice” I said smiling at him

“So you and me tomorrow night, 6pm for dinner?” Matt asked

“Yes I’d love that” I said smiling

Matt walked over to me, placing his hand out for me to grab, I grabbed it and I got up. He immediately pulled me in for a hug wrapping his arms around my waist

“This is so fucking cute I’m taking a picture” Chris said

He got up and stood basically in our faces to take the photo

“You weirdo back up” Matt said laughing

“Kiss kiss kiss kiss” Nick and Chris started chanting

Matt looked at me before I nodded, and he leaned in connecting our lips

“YESSSSS” Chris and Nick were screaming while Chris was recording us

The kiss with Matt was everything I hoped for and more. It was like a million butterfly’s and fireworks going off.

We had pulled away and I smiled shyly

“You’re so cute” Matt said pulling me in and putting his hand over my shoulder before kissing my forehead

“Okay guys we should take some photos for this weeks photo dump” Nick said

“Ouu yeah I agree and it’s golden hour right now we could do them outside” I said

“Love the way you think” Matt said winking at me

We had gone outside to take some pictures and posted them. Chris and Nick making Matt and I taking couple like photos for this weeks photo dump for the podcast

All I have to say is you never know until you try🥀

The End

Alright I hope you liked this one, and I’m not too sure how I feel about it LMAOO😭😭😭 but I struggle writing fluff and cute stuff I think? Idk man but I got a Chris smut coming out so hold onto your socks for that🖤🤭

-J💅🏽

[timmie-p]

Ivan Interview translation

Ivan, the Next CF Star

Just two months after his debut, Ivan was selected as an ambassador for the famous luxury brand Q. Ivan is the first non-native 'pet human' to become an ambassador for Q. "Ivan's stoic yet playful visuals are perfect for capturing the diverse appeal of Q," said Q's chief designer.

Ivan, who recently topped the Alien Stage live voting, is being touted as the next big CF star after Luca. He's been inundated with requests from designers all over the world who want to put ads on his outfits. He has already collaborated with nine brands, all of them big brands. The public's attention is focused on how his growing popularity will affect the Alien stage.

Interview

Since the third round aired, it’s become very popular. Are you feeling the buzz?

Alien Stage is growing in popularity every day. Did the crew recognise me during the CF shoot? It's funny because at the beginning of the show, there weren't many people in the world who recognized me, and now there are so many people that I can't get through the streets by myself. (Laughs)

You’re currently ranked #78, at this rate top 20 is possible, isn’t it?

Thank you for your kind words. I'd love to keep the momentum going and make it to the top 20, but I'll leave the choice up to the masses.

You have a lot of titles that describe you, right? Do you have a favourite?

My favorite is "Blocell's #1 Brand Reputation" from a recent article. It makes me feel like all those days of photo shoots and commercials weren't in vain.

What do you think makes you unique?

I can think of more bad things than good (laughs), but, um… I think the thing that fans talk about a lot is my partial fang. I think I have a normal face, but there are many people who remember me for my fang.

What’s your secret to getting the best shots?

The day before my schedule, I study the brand I'm going to shoot for so that I can clearly understand the directions on set. Knowing the brand in detail is fundamental as a model. I also think it's important to make it a habit to take care of my body.

What is your ideal girlfriend? Lots of girls around the world want to know!

I don’t have a specific dream girl, I’ve never really thought about it. If I were to choose one…. No, I don’t have one. (Laughs)

Are you close with Till?

What’s your definition of “close”? (Laughs)

We’re just okay. Mediocre at best.

Let me ask you straight up. Do you think you can beat Till?

I don’t know… If you could perform as wildly as him, you might win too, right?

Say something to Till, your next opponent!

…..Keep it up?

read it for your own here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/ivan-interview-99972496

also i’m sure an official english version will be out soon i just like doing these lol

okay!!! i feel like vivinos is dropping red flags here but idk 🥺 ive already been theorising that ivan will be the one to lose and the audience here seems to support him too much..

i translated “힘내” previously as “Come on” in the snippet where till punched ivan but i think it makes more sense here to translate it as “Keep it up” (it’s just generally words of uplifting encouragement)

also for the part about his fang my translator translated that as “false teeth” and boy when i tell you i was confused 💀

also following up the question abt his dream girl immediately with a question about his relationship with till.. real subtle there… kinda makes me go uueeugguh tho

[mahomadjicks]

Been seeing some posts about the Q and A the clash writing team did and man…

((WARNING: light rant below; mostly me rambling about worldbuilding aaaa))

I’m not fond of what the writing team wants to do, especially since it seems like they’re hyper-focusing on the kudos/street managers. It’s this section in particular that’s got me thinking and worried.

MAN does this phrase here have a lot of food for thought. Not just because of the horror fanfic i’m making, but now things clearly seem to be taking a large turn into the ‘Manager-focused plot’ I feared Clash would write themselves into.

Idk. The way i’m thinking about it, it’s a bit self destructive writing wise for suits to be in inherent ‘tiers’. (Grunt cogs have less personality/free will than managers, ete.)

If one of the goals is to show how COGs Inc exploits and mistreats their workers, isn’t it shooting yourself in the foot saying ‘COGs inc is a horrible company to ALL its workers’, but then turning to say ‘oh yeah, all those cogs aren’t as sentient compared to THESE ones’—

Like, in the case of ‘grunt’ cogs, wouldn’t these cogs be the ‘ground zero’ of the atrocities the company commits? Literally built for one purpose in life, in a cycle of being destroyed and rebuilt constantly without any say or agency. Being held under the thumb of a dubious company that in all technicality owns you, so you can’t really leave unless you’re fired?

If the grunt cogs were just as self preserving and sentient as the managers, then the message would be hammered in better. THEY’d be the ones constantly put under all the pressure for virtually nothing. Instead, the writing team has introduced the dilemma of ‘who is aware/deserving of company rights’.

If these (grunt) suits are inherently ‘lesser’ than their manager counterparts, then it changes the gravity of the situation from ‘discriminatory company practices’ to ‘changing a piece of machinery.’ No real loss, and its business as usual. The very problem i’d imagine the writing team wants to warn and help players to recognize in the story.

While not treated much better, it’s been shown/implied that manager cogs (specifically kudos/street and Litigation) get a lot more benefits and free time than anyone else besides bosses.

Removing personality/preservation from ‘grunt’ suits changes this element in the story from ‘They have higher positions, thus better work benefits,’ to ‘They get those benefits because they KNOW that they have them in the first place.’

In general, lot of the managers seem to have the luxury of being built without a specific company in mind, having childhoods, and ultimately CHOOSING to work at COGs Inc. Many seem to forget the whole reason the kudos/street managers were hired in the first place was in response to Atticus Wing’s death.

They weren’t randomly ‘dropped in’, and now the story needs to be changed to accommodate them. There already was an explicit reason, and it doesn’t seem to conflict with any manager lore after the fact. Why bend over backwards to force them into the story rewrites more?

I understand the managers are super popular, and have been a game changer in terms of story and gameplay, but I honestly feel they’re also blinding people in terms of prior lore and potential lore avenues. There’s no need to break the story/lore further to make the ‘special’ cogs even more ‘special’.

At the end of the day, I get the writing team wants to add more flavor, and I commend them for doing all this for free! Writing isn’t easy, and this isn’t me hating on them at all. I’m just not fond of this manager-centric mindset gripping people. I’m certainly looking forward to all the future content they wish to add, specifically rewrites in toon NPCS.

Anyway just had this in the back of my mind for a minute, feel free to throw in your two cents if ya like.

[musicalmoritz]

I saw your post about giving tbhk characters songs and I noticed a bunch of them were musical theater and they fit so fucking well??

Like waving through a window for Sousuke and dead mom for Kou?? Unlikely lovers?? Music of the night??? Your mind omg.

I was wondering if you had more musical theater to tbhk characters stuff because id definitely like to hear them lol. It's totally fine if you don't have more, in case not, you could give more non musical stuff.

I’ve been behind on my asks so I’m trying to get caught up and this seems like the best one to start with, musicals have been rotting my brain since the eighth grade. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember every song I listed in the original post so I apologize if some of these are repeats!!

TW: Brief mention of suicide ideation for one of the songs/characters

• Idk how much you’d count this one as a musical song but Once Upon A Dream from Sleeping Beauty makes me think of Mitsukou/Soukou (especially in the context of the new timeline)

• I have to apply Dentist! from Little Shop Of Horrors to every sadist character so it’s going to Teru, maybe he can do that if he ever smartens up and quits exorcism (I would give it to Kou but Teru is like. wayyyy more upfront abt his sadism lol)

• Tango: Maureen from Rent except every character in TBHK besides Mitsuba and Mei is lowkey bisexual so there are so many ways it could go. Hanako and Aoi about Nene. Teru and Aoi about Akane. Mitsuba and Nene about Kou. The possibilities are endless

• Popular from Wicked with Aoi and Nene…because yk we always see Aoi giving Nene popular girl advice. I am aware her character goes deeper than that I’m just being silly

• Love Me For What I Am from In Trousers with Nene but just for the “I met a man in a can” line. She did, in fact, meet her boyfriend in a bathroom

• Helpless from Hamilton with AoiAoi and then Satisfied with Terukane. I think I’ve seen an animatic for this but there are a lot of Hamilton animatics for different fandoms so I could be mistaken

• Alyssa Greene from The Prom with Aoi

• And on that note, The Lady’s Improving with Yako or Sumire (Sumire bcuz you can add in Hakubo for the romantic context). Quite honestly I love The Prom sm, it’s very overhated imo bcuz the songs are all bangers

• Portrait Of A Girl from Bare: A Pop Opera with Aoi and Akane before their development

• More with Bare because I love queer musicals, Role Of A Lifetime with Mitsuba in the context of Mitsukou. They can’t be together forever and Mitsuba knows that so he’s confused on what Kou wants…see the vision

• Seventeen from Heathers with HanaNene but bonus points if it’s Picture Perfect Amanene when they tried to run away together

• There’s A Fine, Fine Line from Avenue Q with Nene…possibly after Nakahara rejected her

• I feel like the concept of She Used To Be Mine from Waitress could be applicable to so many female characters because context aside, it has major theme of going from girlhood to womanhood + overcoming a lot of trauma, so it’s hard for me to nail down just one. Perhaps yorishiro Sumire? Could also apply to Nene

• You Gotta Die Sometime from Falsettos with Mei (my sister and I quote the opening line to each other every time one of us is sick…but also oof this song hurts me)

• This one is a bit nonsensical but I like to imagine The Worst Pies In London with Teru and Akane since yk Teru is terrible at cooking. Or with Ghost Hotel Kou and Nene (not in a ship way tho)

• The Ballad Of Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone loosely makes me think of Katakuri bcuz of the whole deal with the kannagi losing their memories

• In the Same Boat from the Lightning Thief demo with any of the trios tbh, mainly the Broadcasting Crew because Sakuhiko fit the Percabeth dynamic so well and Tsukasa as Grover is just yes (in the context of this song specifically lol). For the others tho it would be Terukane as Percabeth and Aoi as Grover, then HanaKou as Percabeth and Nene as Grover…or HanaNene as Percabeth and Kou as Grover. Another one with lots of options

• Red And Black from Les Misérables with Teru and Akane bcuz of the whole Enjolras caring abt war and Marius being all head-in-the-clouds about Cosette…very Akane coded in general

• Meet the Plastics from Mean Girls with Teru as Regina, Akane as Gretchen, and Aoi as Karen

• On that same note, WORLD BURN WITH TERU. HEAR ME OUT.

• I want to bring up Spring Awakening just to bring up Spring Awakening tbh so Don’t Do Sadness/Blue Wind with Aoi and Akane (?) or Teru maybe. Tbh I’m struggling on who could do Ilse’s part but Aoi fits Moritz (my boyyyyy) very well with how she wants to “go somewhere far away” aka take her own life due to the pressure she’s under. Could also be with Mitsuba or Amane as Moritz but NOT Kou because we all know Kou isn’t actively suicidal right?? We’re all on the same page abt that?? Good

• I could also picture Those You’ve Known with Kou and his dead ghost friends at the end of the manga. Specifically Hanako as Moritz and Nene as Wendla but you could substitute either of them for Mitsuba if you want

• I feel like Wait For It from Hamilton could fit Tsuchigomori

• No Me Diga from In the Heights makes me think of Aoi and Nene and their rumors. Bonus points if Akane is the one Nene teases Aoi about with the “just wanted to see what you’d say” part

• Mister Cellophane from Chicago with Mitsuba

• Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from Phantom Of The Opera with Teru mourning his mom…we don’t really get to see him talk abt her in canon so it’s a cool concept

• More with Teru, I’m Not That Girl from Wicked. I’m thinking within the context of TeruAoi but feel free to apply it to Terukane

• When He Sees Me from Waitress with AoiAoi or Mitsukou…Aoi and Mitsuba singing ofc

• I’m Breaking Down with Aoi during the Confession Tree chapter when Akane started dating Lemon

Okay I’m capping myself off there, hope you liked this!! And thank you for the ask :)

[lezabeththetheodoraimposter]

“no one can know I can tell what people will manifest as!!” why not? ability detecting is basically torture. u could save sooo many elves so much wasted time. and just how do u think the neverseen will use this against u?? it’s literally useless to them. but it is useful to the elves. like SUPER useful. people can spend their whole lives training w their abilities before they even manifest. like omg keefe cmon

edit (I put this in a reblog but don’t feel like reexplaining it so I’m putting it here)

I get what ur saying about Keefe not wanting the council to exploit him and that having all those ppl go to him but I really think that’s the only good reason which is still a very good one bc it’s about what HE wants (but also think of terik who did it for a bit then stopped but occasionally does it for some people) tbh the only good reasons are Keefe just not wanting to and that’s fair. but honestly I’m talking about the use of the ability and how in the grand scheme and when Keefe is in a better mental place that it can be SOOOOOO useful and like when he’s past all this and is happy and healthy then I would say he should tell ppl about it even if he doesn’t open up to “readings”

with a ability training thing that was one of my main points (tho I did put it in the tags and those go away when u reblog 😒) but ability training is literally TORTURE. like they put these like 11 year old kids in burning hot rooms for hours hoping to trigger a froster… like that’s soooo unethical idk what the councils reasoning for that is. it’s literal child abuse and I’m not even kidding. its brushed off but omg wtf. and imagine going through all that only to discover you were talentless and all that was for nothing. like that would suck

and for the talentless. keefe not wanting to tell ppl they are talentless is a very valid and good reason, but aside from that I think his talent would be more helpful. bc it would give talentless ppl more time to grow up and adjust to the predugist (hate bc I can’t spell 😭) against the talentless. bc even though they would have to deal w it from birth, isn’t that better than living a normal life w friends then BAM one day ur talentless and all of ur friends stop hanging out w u. like ur WHOLE world would be flipped and it’s better to give the talentless more time to adjust to it imo.

also the schooling thing u meantioned is another reason knowing ur talentless form the start would be helpful. BECAUSE THE TALENTLESS ARE PULLED OUT IF FOXFIRE WHICH IS SOOOOO MESSED UPP. like they go to foxfire for like 3 years then the council is like “haha no ability? sucks for u lol! go off to a different school where u know no one and make different friends yk just forget ur whole life up to now haha” like WTF. (honestly the bigger problem here is how the talentless are treated but we already know that has to change so this is about how keefe can help).

also it could give “bad match” couples where one of them is talentless (like Kesler and juline) comfort to know their kid isn’t talentless. And if their kid is talentless then it saves them years from worrying over it and the suspense of it all. Also I just think knowing ur ability from childhood and being able to train for it before u even manifested would be soooo helpful

but in the end of the day yeah, keefe just not wanting to is the biggest thing. and I might be remembering incorrectly bc I haven’t read the book in forever but I remember something about keefe thinking he accidentally triggered the triplets abilities which would be more problematic but idk if I’m remembering it wrong. but I do think like years after kotlc ends (or when ever he feels ready) keefe should defo start using his ability for good. like it doesn’t have to be everybody. it can just be kids of q talentless parent(s) to help their parents out yk bc if two telepaths have a kid then it’s obvi going to be a telepath u don’t need keefe to tell u that

also the main point of the pre-editted post was about how he doesn’t want the NEVERSEEN to know bc he thinks they might be able to use it against his friends. like how. literally how? what use is it going to do them.

[birb-boyo]

I want you to ramble about LU Time. Please. He's the best.

:D

I know you said LU Time but I could rant about 90% of OOT Links put there💀

Sacred Realm Time? ( @/zelda-the-sacred-realm)

Recalled Time? ( @/recalled11 )

Linked Maze Time? ( @/linked-maze )

AoG Shifter? ( @/trippygalaxy )

Shifting Sands Time? ( @/vaathnaos )

House of Heroes Time? ( @/houseofheroesau )

I could rant to you about EVERYONE named😌

But you want Linked Universe Time? I got you.

Long post👹

Now, I could make this a solely simping post but idk of you want that so I’ll put that at the end.

While, yes, he’s very hot and pretty and I made a slideshow about that, that’s not all I like about him!

I kinda kin him in a way. I usually end up taking the lead in things. Like group projects and stuff

Which is weird considering that I’m an introvert but school kinda forces me into the leader role🤷🏽‍♂️

He also had chubby cheeks as a kid(I still do tho) like I just wanna s q u i s h

He’s also very caring and protective of his boys/brothers/friends. And when the time comes to protect them, trust that Time will do it fiercely without question. That’s not me saying that the others wouldn’t protect their brothers at all, but what does set him apart…

Is that he looks damn good when he does it

Speaking of looking damn good HAVE YOU SEEN HIS WIFE?!

SHE SHOULDA PICKED ME?!?!?!

And the fact that he preposed to her with some weird magic ring will always be peak humor to me! It’s adorable but…sir💀

And the way he looks at her makes me feel like love is real and I appreciate how Malon wasn’t reduced to a housewife SO MUCH because that woman can AND WILL judo flip Time. I love strong women😌

AND AND AND

LOOK AT HIM SMILE😭😭😭

HEAVY ON THE YOUNGER VERSION OF HIM AND IDK WHY I CUT MALON FROM THAT PICTURE-

(I’m getting all of these pictures from one album🥰)

I think that I can start with the simping-

A FULLY GROWN WOLF???

(I know about the gauntlets)

AN HOURGLASS TOO?!?!?!

I rest my case😌

[e-vay]

Evay QA Bulk Post 1

I’m working through my inbox but don’t want to drown y’all’s feed in my asks so I’m grouping as many together as I can. Q&A below:

MISC SONIC ASKS

Thank you so very much! I was trying to really combine both Amy and Sonic’s aesthetics. Amy is classy and design oriented so I wanted to keep that feel, but I wanted to show how their home would evolve once she and Sonic start living together. Sonic’s never canonically had a house, but he travels so much that I headcanon that he’s constantly collecting trinkets and souvenirs from all the places he’s visited. So I wanted to give them a very “worldly” design style. If you’re familiar with Uncharted 4, I picture Sonic and Amy’s house being very much like Nate and Elena’s beach house.

I love interior design and architecture but I’m not great at drawing it (yet). Once I improve I want to do a full layout of their house for my stories (and the future Shadora Fortress).

I really enjoyed the movies and I’m excited for the third! I hope they give Shadow a voice that’s deep and delicious and doesn’t sound like a sniveling villain. I don’t like it when they cast him with a very generic evil voice, I prefer it when he’s got depth. Honestly I’d be happy if they stuck with Ian Hanlin, he’s perfect to me. 

For the record, I absolutely love that game. Some of my favorite memories involve me and my best friend playing it. He ABSOLUTELY is an avid gun collector. I love seeing the memes of Shadow just rambling off about gun details. BUT HE KEEPS THAT CRAP LOCKED UP IN A SAFE AND UNLOADED AT ALL TIMES!!!!

At least for my stories he isn’t one to actually threaten to harm anybody for wanting to date his kids. He dealt with that enough trying to be with Aurora. But you can bet he won’t think anybody’s worthy to date his kids lol

First of all, I am ALWAYS down for Sonic singing his feelings. Like that is my #1 favorite thing in every story. Whenever he breaks out the guitar/lute I’m like “HELL YEAH LET’S DO THIS”

Secondly, that SONG omg!!! I’d never heard it before but wow 😭 I couldn’t love it more. I completely agree and thank you so much for sharing with me!

That is so funny that you say that. It was not my intention to make human Sonic look like RCS but honestly he is my favorite Sonic at this point so maybe it came out subliminally! Also I think Roger is just so damn handsome so I will take that as a compliment lol! 

SHIPPING ASKS

I do ship them but I don’t know about them having kids. I don’t really know those characters well enough to write family members for them and I wouldn’t want to do it wrong. Thank you!

I’m fine with any of your ships as long as it’s not with relatives. And as long as you keep my characters “in character” then that’s fine. 

Interesting! 🤔 I haven’t heard that pairing before but hey I’m certainly not going to tell you that you can’t ship them together. 

I loved Amy the minute I saw her so just from a superficial level I was like “These two are too cute together!” But I really fell in love with them when their story evolved and we got to see their dynamism in the games outside of just a cute little pink sprite in Sonic CD. And Sonic X really sealed the deal haha So many romantic moments between them in that show, God bless. 

Sonic and Amy were just making out, not anything more. Orbot and Cubot aren’t accustomed to seeing that so that’s why they reacted that way. 

I don’t have any plans on that at the moment. I like that universe and I especially loved how Sonic acted around her in it, but idk if I’ll make a comic about it. But I can never say never!

PERSONAL ASKS

I’m sorry to have worried you, but honestly I was okay while I was away. I went through a lot of major life events and I had lost my drawing mojo and was fighting to get it back. But now it’s back with a vengeance!

I plan on doing both. I know several amazing parents who do a wonderful job raising their kids and still follow their passion.

Thank you so much! I’m self-taught, but I’ve researched a lot of tutorials and references to help me improve over my life. The number one thing people need to study if they want to do comics or animations or anything is ANATOMY! You don’t have to take an anatomy class (I didn’t), but look up references and tutorials to learn how the spine works, how the muscles work, proportions, etc. Even if your characters don’t fall into the typical human form, you still need to understand skeletal structure and muscles. 

I’m not an avid listener but I do like some if her songs :)

I’m in the process of assembling that. There’s a lot so it’s taking time lol 

WILL YOU CONTINUE HHNF?

Yes I’m going to continue HHNF

AURORA ASKS

Thank you! Yes that’s pretty accurate. Their family is all about honesty and telling the truth, but younger Aurora doesn’t like to share all the details with Sonic because he’s so reactive with her and will quickly try to fix whatever the problem is and Aurora wants to learn to fix it herself. Amy is more willing to just listen to Aurora and offer advice if Aurora asks for it. Amy WANTS to beat up whoever is upsetting her daughter but she also knows the importance of learning how to fight for yourself so she wants Aurora to feel empowered to do that. 

Thank you! I hope you’re having a great day too! I think Amy is better at TALKING through feelings and Sonic’s better at the overall cheering up way of handling things. So as long as there’s nothing terribly awful bothering Aurora and she’s just feeling a little down, he’ll find ways to make her laugh. Sometimes that means walking in unexpectedly in a costume to shock her or dragging her out of the room to have a musical jam session together. 

Sonic’s also known to give people flowers when they’re sad in canon (he does this regularly in the games and in Sonic X), so he’ll bring her bright, colorful flowers to make her smile. 

In my AU, Eggman has already kind of peaked by the time of Boom!Baby. He’s softened a lot and isn’t interested so much in world domination as he just wants attention lol. Having Sage and becoming a father further helped me justify that with my AU. 

He's also particularly sentimental towards Aurora since he helped deliver her, so he doesn’t really fight the team anymore. He is more like a constant pain in their sides mucking things up. 

Sonic team is busy fighting other, newer foes in my AU.

Their biggest challenge is going to be the Time Travel comic that I haven’t completed yet. It’s hardest because not only will lives be put on the line, but it also touches on trust and when to let go. I’m sorry I can’t give you a more detailed answer yet but I don’t want to spoil the plot! And thank you so much! 

MISC ASKS RELATED TO MY AU

Yes I just need to draw them. There are so many dang Sonic characters hahaha

It’s VERY important to Aurora for her parents to give their blessing, so Shadow will honor that and ask them for it. I already know how and when he’s going to do it, but I can’t spoil it for you yet! 😉

They’ve had three litters. I headcanon that back in the day hedgehogs used to have litters (2 or more kids) all the time but that became less and less common in modern day. But I also headcanon that as the Ultimate Lifeform, Shadow was engineered to be able to… multiply effectively. So even though they’ve only been pregnant 3 times, they keep having triplets or twins. 

I do consider the First Kiss comic canon to my AU. But it happened a while before My Gal, maybe like a year or so before. Give them time to stew on that kiss hehehe

They just wanted to make a life change. The stars just happened to align at the same time haha

All the kids’ names are supposed to be based on their personalities or powers. Most Sonic characters are named that way, so I don’t know if it’s canon for Mobian parents to sense what their kid’s powers will be or not. Aurora has dreams that sometimes give her premonitions so she had inklings to what their kids might be like so she and Shadow could brainstorm ideas based on that. Also a lot of their names are outer-space-related or at least outer-space-adjacent and that was because Shadow’s a space man lol So he had influence in that. 

Sonic wants all his descendants named Sonic II so he’s no help lol. 

Thanks, I’m happy you like it! 

There are 3 litters. The first litter has the triplets Piper, Zane and Nova. The second litter was born almost a year and a half later and has the twins Aster and Blitz. The third litter was immediately after and that has the triplets Cinder, Diamond and Boon. All this information is listed in their character reference post. 

In the beginning the family mostly just stuck to ordering online and getting home deliveries lol. But if they do have to do a grocery store run it’s a full family event. The kids all ride on Shadow (see this post). Their house has two fridges to accommodate for all the mouths to feed!

Their life certainly isn’t boring anymore 😂 It’s exhausting but they’re happy (also there are 8 kids haha!)

Thank you so much, it’s good to be back!

Aurora definitely would have asked him about this, but at least in my stories Sonic became an orphan at a young age and I don’t have him with any siblings. 

I’ve had another person ask me who I picture Sonic’s parents as and I do plan on drawing a reference of them, but they’ll be unique to my stories. They won’t be from any other Sonic media. 

I don’t draw Aleena, Manic and Sonia because of a couple reasons. I never watched Sonic Underground so I don’t have the allegiance/nostalgia that a lot of people have to that show. Also for my own preference, I don’t like the idea of Sonic being born to royalty. It doesn’t suit him, in my opinion. That doesn’t mean I don’t respect people who have that as a part of their canon and it doesn’t mean I have any bad feelings towards the Underground characters. I just don’t draw them. I grew up on the games and later Sonic X and Sonic Boom so my stories revolve around what I know. 

It’s funny that you mention that ship because I only just learned about it from Starrjoy’s P!AU comic. Again I didn’t watch Sonic Underground so I don’t know who Bernadette is, but sure I’m down for Sonic having two moms. Families come in all shapes and sizes, so as long as they’re a loving parent or parents then I support it. 

They love all their grandkids and they love spending time with them, but I think in their older age Sonic and Amy go off on more adventures again. They never stopped adventuring, but they settled down a bit while raising Aurora. Now they’re relishing a second wind and they’re frequently going on worldly explorations.  

But they always make sure to attend any events the kids are involved with and are always home on Sundays for family dinner. Sunday night is dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s! <— I have them always having dinner at their house on Sundays even before Aurora and Shadow have kids

To be honest, I never felt like they needed more. I had a comic where they discussed it hypothetically, but they’re content with just having the one kid. (Don’t worry, just because they’re not having kids does NOT mean they aren’t… active 😈 They’re very VERY much so!). I am okay with fan stories where people give Aurora siblings and there’s a fic I’m reading right now that involves Sonic and Amy having a whoopsie baby way late in life and adult Aurora is having to deal with that and I love it lol. But just for my own writing, it’s a single-child household. 

–

Thank you all for the questions!

Evay QA Bulk Post 1

Evay QA Bulk Post 2

Evay QA Bulk Post 3

Evay QA Bulk Post 4

Evay QA Bulk Post 5

Evay QA Bulk Post 6

[lurkofyourlife]

Not to pop in your asks, BUT, just answering your q, as a trans person (non binary but still trans), about not wanting to seem like a chaser. Obviously, this might change from trans person to trans person. But all in all, basically you want to care about the person too.

Like yeah trans folks (both binary and non binary) are hot af, but like if all you care about is their transness that's going to come across as wrong. Because we're not a monolith. There are some shitty trans folks out there, and some great ones. We all have different interests. Some of us like gaming, or sports, or fashion, or books, etc.

So as long as you're interested in our personality, history, our core being outside of us being trans. Then you're aokay! Of course, again, this opinion changes from person to person (because trans folks can also be chasers, it's rare but it can happen), but that's how I view it tbh.

(I'm so sorry if you weren't actually asking, I just love your tags on my post lmfao 💖 from a fellow 90s pansexual)

(For context: the post/tags in question)

This is a really useful answer! Tbh as someone who’s actually super picky about the Person side of things (I’ll be honest: I’m far more attracted to personality than looks, sexual attraction has come and gone and come back at different times of my life, but then I have an insane libido and interest in kink) I have no doubt that irl I’m *very* much more into the person than the identity and/or body, but as a kink blog it can feel a little odd, since posts are pretty quickly divorced from who made them through the web of reblogging.

(More chatter below the cut)

As someone aesthetically attracted to a wide variety of gender and body types, though, but self-IDing as cis [given how much trans stories make me cry, I have had a lot of intense internal consideration on this, tbh, cause every time I’m in tears over trans joy part of me is like ??? is this egging? And then I consider it for a long time and nah, if anything I more relate to apagender/agender stuff but being a girl is fun for various story reasons lol— is that weird to say? I’m rambly, and I’ve thought about gender a LOT, given how many trans and enby friends I have, I frequently look critically at myself to check if I still ID as cis, and I do xD] I do feel a little unsure about how best to tell trans folks “hey you’re hot, I’m thirsty for you” without coming across as weirdly fetishy. To be clear: I’m thirsty for cis folks and trans folks (and enby and neogender stuff included); there’s a lot of pretty people in the world, and my kinks are gender-neutral! 😅

For now I’ve mostly just liked allll kinds of posts from all kinds of peeps, and then reblogged the thirsty posts about trans folks from trans folks rather than making my own (idk, feels like I’m just agreeing rather than shouting out over other people; this is an ABNORMAL AMOUNT OF THOUGHT to put into hornyposting lmao, I am so very tumblr-coded, I have been here too long ^^;) but like, admiring all the hornyposting by trans folks about trans bodies and I’m just like yeah, same, yes, I agree, you are 100% correct, I too would like to be bullied by flirt with ftm puppyboys and mtf puppygirls, yknow? (or the cool butch with the carabiner on her belt buckle, or the hot masc in his mesh crop top, or the genderqueer knife collector willing to put it to my throat— I am WEAK, okay, I am DEHYDRATED, my body is FIGHTING for MOISTURE—)

Anyway. Rambly as hell. But yeah, I promise it’s not based just on the transness, it’s all a draw to the kinks/powerplay/vibe 😅

….i’ll be honest, I’m not sure if this clarified ANYTHING, or if it’s just me over here like “👉👈 I’m just a bottom” OOPS.

But yeah, thank you for reaching out! And it made me happy you enjoyed my tags >< especially cause I tend to, as you can see, ramble. 🩷

Oh god and now I have to figure out how to tag this…

[star-girl69]

LMAOOO q-diddy x block button conjoined twins fr!!

also TY OMG i js watched and how does q manage to make kk uncomfy even when she's not in the live 💀

jokes aside, that must b rlly uncomfy/scary for kk n laila, hoping that they r able to process and keep themselves safe n healthy- im happy that kk didn't experience anything super harmful from her tho considering how obsessed q was w her

REAL ON THE AZZI LOVE-

im hoping that if q doesn't get kicked off the team for being a genuine pedo and js nasty person in general, then she'll at least get pressured into transferring out of uconn/leaving the college basketball scene in general cause there's no way she's being a positive addition to the team now that all this is coming out + ppl r (hopefully) coming out of injuries and returning back to the court

i know for a fact one of the girls (realistically probs paige) is gonna see it cause THEY SEE ALL THE EDITS AND COMMENTS and if kk and laila addressed it when they're not even on the same team as them then it's fs gonna happen

if she doesn't get booted from uconn i can assume that the crowd is not gonna b real kind to her since she basically dissed all of the girls (especially paige), and the fans????

but yeah i agree w the previous anon abt mariah posting the convo- i think it's important that she got her message out there but she should've js paraphrased instead of posting it- hopefully there won't b any huge repercussions for her but i think she should get off of live and try to spend some time w her gf/family + in therapy- this is definitely a super stressful situation for her and i think even tho ppl r supporting her its harmful to be in the public eye for super prolonged amts of time rn

xoxo, drama anon <3

i love kk laila and azzi ❤️❤️❤️❤️

no bc this is about to look SO bad for uconn so they might kick her off and just idk i just need her to have CONSEQUENCES OR ELSE ILL CRASH OUT

cant imagine what the uconn girls are gonna feel like when it all comes out 💔💔

yeah mariah definitely needs to get off of live and get some sleep she’s been through a lot these past few days and she really needs to take a step back

ok sorry ily i’m so tired i cant think idk what i’m saying but i agree w you 👍👍👍👍

[rarepairnation]

20 questions for writers!

tagged by @emyn-arnens literally over a month ago and im finally getting to it now lol much love thank you for continuing to tag me in things even though im the worst at doing them sometimes.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 65 (15 of them are under my archive pseud though lol)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 265,381

3. What fandoms do you write for? actively writing for lotr, pacific rim, my secret little marvel rarepair

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? these are so funny they're all my avatar work from before i remade on this blog. well throwback i guess. they're still dear to me.

open arms, atla sokka coming out to his dad

earth system history, atla sokka/zuko college au where zuko is an earth scientist

[redacted h*rry p*tter work from 2016]

love's not for show, atla bato/hakoda sokka creates a master plan to get his dad and bato to admit that theyre dating but they're NOT

knife loves heart, human loves human, james bond 007/q post-spectre fixit fic (my Only 00q and possibly also my only fixit fic?)

5. Do you respond to comments? i try so so so hard but the executive function that allows me to say anything coherent only comes around every so often lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? a couple contenders for this one but if we're talking strictly the ending probably i'm not leaving (til we make it home) (exu calamity patia & laerryn / patia & the ring of brass exploring her relationship with love and loneliness and finally being free to express how much she loves her friends only in the last hours of her life and dying happy for it).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? also a couple contenders for this one but i feel like many of them are tinged with not a small amount of melancholy. so we are going with a big throwback to sun through open windows (atlok mako/wu plotless little morning routines fic that is about nothing in particular but also about realizing you have everything your younger self thought you would never have).

8. Do you get hate on fics? not in a long long time (like probably 7-8 years) thank god!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes although none of it is published (yet). what kind? idk man whatever im horny about this month. ok but for serious. really been into character developing smut. do u know what i mean. i’m telling you something about who each of these people are and how they view each other through the way they fuck. this probably says quite a lot about me

10. Do you write crossovers? i'm not much for the kind where characters from different franchises Interact, but i am partial to taking some guys and translating them to a different setting. ah to put characters in a situation and watch as the fundamental core of their being stays the same....

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? hope not lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that i'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! we have not finished it but it's absolutely CORE thesis-level influential on my entire psyche. even if we never get back to it i'll think about it until the day i die and that is not an exaggeration.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? of ALL TIME? i straight up dont know if i can answer this one. ALL TIME???? my long-term emotional permanence is NOT good enough and my recency bias is too strong for this. ok i think the only way i can answer this is with the ship that has gotten the deepest into my psyche and my soul. which is yancytendo pacific rim. they. affect me. on a level i will probably never be able to fully explain. the 'giving a guy built only to be a thematic device a personality and a history and deep gut-wrenching grief' of it all. the 'you are in love with a guy who is doomed by the narrative and despite your best efforts it means that he is a personification of all the grief you carry inside of you' of it all. yancy becket you will live forever in my heart tendo choi you will ALWAYS be famous. augh. yeah i picked right

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

hmm probably something about the way you look tonight, my mallorytanner thesis statement fic, the genesis of which was genuinely a life-altering event to me. i was listening to the titular elton john song walking home from a general chemistry exam in the snow and i was struck so violently with An Image for truly the first time in my life. truly not ONCE before that moment had that happened to me. this was in my freshman year of college this fic has existed in various forms for going on FIVE YEARS. will it ever be done. GOD i fucking hope so. i actually do hold out hope for that one.

the one i am actually hopeless on ever finishing is orogenesis, the sprawling expanded stemverse pianjeong backstory au fic. the whole structure of it is quite clear in my head actually. i just didn't have the life experience to create the plot structure to go with the emotional beats when it generated itself in my mind in 2020-21 and now that i DO have it the problem is that the inciting event is incredibly clear to me and yet bears too close of a resemblance to. personal events and horrors. for me to ever finish it! i'll think about it forever though. creating and writing that au changed my life for real it was the longest thing i'd ever written and the best when i wrote it and it's still very close to my heart.

16. What are your writing strengths? characterization and character development baby. evocative use of metaphor in descriptions of both character and setting. lavish description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? PLOT. cant create that from my brain and i rarely attempt it. i have plenty of stuff to write about that does not require it. relatedly not great at worldbuilding.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? generally don't do it much except for a stray word or two. i don't mind reading it though! tolkien fic writers who translate full sentences you are god's strongest soldiers.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ough this one will be embarrassing. entering the archive pseud. wait is it also tolkien that's funny. life is a circle in some ways. this is first fandom on my ao3 account btw. the VERY first one i wrote for...i will take that knowledge to the grave.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ah i feel like my answer for this one changes every time but i can't help it, i love many of my darlings equally. this time im giving the spotlight to life holds onto you, my chris pike & jim kirk post-star trek 2009 fic that is a few thousand words of 'what if your sort of son feared that you thought he was taking everything you ever wanted from you and he is right that you have thought that but you are learning how wrong you are.' i cried in the university library writing it and reread it recently and remembered it was good. recency bias baby

tagging the usual suspects @potatoesandsunshine @aaronstveit

[ahundredtimesover]

omg i didn’t think you’d answer my ask HAJSHSJSKS cue the kilig feeling 🥰 everything i know about basketball, learned unwillingly cos of my kuyas and tatay who changed the channel whenever there was a san miguel/tnt/lakers ateneo game PLUS they made me watch slam dunk din so every time yoongi mentions that my eye twitches cos *war flashbacks to when i wanna watch my cartoons*

but i’ve come to terms with the trauma EME 😭 jk lang it actually helped when i started writing for my uni’s publication and covered basketball games. sa uaap, i’m also really a fan of admu kahit di ako atenista HAHAHHAJSKSJS and yes that doug kramer clutch—one of the highlights of the entire uaap tbvh. i can’t imagine witnessing that LIVE. iba na rin uaap ngayon eh. (and ph basketball in general. sad na wala na yung hype masyado which i’m not surprised at all given how problematic the players are like???? sighs. toxic masculinity ew—theory q lang naman tho)

your writing is AMAZING pls like i’m not even kidding. you’re seriously one of the best writers across all platforms bc you can truly see and feel the effort you put in making your stories and dare i say you also don’t make your audience feel dumb (i can make a whole other 10-page essay about this PLS pero wag muna) and respect them by creating all these nuanced and character-driven stories (which is SO hard to find). i’m rereading “a still day or a hurricane” as a law girlie now 🥺

i hope the stories never stop forming in your head and i hope you experience so many great things in life that will inspire you to continue writing for many years to come cos who says there’s an age limit in writing fanfics???? 🧐 but also don’t forget to take care of yourself, ate mimi (yie ate 🥹). stay hydrated in this god awful heat!!! baka dumalas ako sa inbox mo i’m SORRY

- coj 🩵

Hiii I am here! Late to reply but I'm here! And lolll a usual story! It often starts with the men haha. My dad was a huge fan, too, so our TV always had basketball on. But I've come to love the sport even as a spectator! Whereas you've come to use it as a journalist nakkssss 😌😌 hahaha but true. PH basketball is sooo different now. I think it's also the culture. I can't even keep up with the conferences and the players and stuff. Nice to know my UAAP heroes are thriving but it's just not the same.

As for your lovely words... THANK YOU. 🥹 I'm such a context person in that I like exploring the why's of people - why they do what they do and say what they say. It always comes from somewhere, and a lot of it is fear. It's such a human feeling, so is desire. But I love writing about love, too, and that itself is complicated and beautiful. And I know it's just fanfic but it's a way for me to kind of release all these reflections and insights into the world and I'm just happy you're able to connect with these very flawed fictional humans! There's a little of us in them for sure! 💕

Lol sometimes I wish the stories would stop bc I won't stop thinking about them! I literally have scenes and dialogues written up for stories that idk if I'll ever get to actually write but yeah, hopefully there's energy and inspiration to match the ideas. One day I’ll probably have a “scenes from stories I’ll never write” post 🥲🥲

Pls stay cool and hydrated! Be safe always! 💕💕

[lucysweatslove]

Tw for some ED-related talk. However it’s not under a readmore because it’s not anything directly related to ED behavior or hugely specific things- it’s more talking about my experience now and reflecting on triggers.

I talk about it all the time (because it’s been a huge life goal), but I start school again in July. It’s been a long time coming, and part of this was because I didn’t feel right applying before I was healthy / recovered. I’ve known that scholastic type things trigger me for various reasons, and I felt wrong applying before I was in a really good place where I could handle those triggers without it interfering with school.

And that’s also partly why I did my master’s degree- it was my first time in school since recovery, and I think I needed to prove to myself that I can do it. I can be on the same campus as I would be in med school, in the same buildings, surrounded by the same type of people, and be fine. And I was! And I kicked ass! And now I start the next chapter and will hopefully also be fine and kick ass!

Buuuuut.

Last night reminded me that my triggers aren’t ever going to be gone. I can be fully weight restored, in a plus-size body, not engaging in any intentional low-calorie restriction with plans for huge weight loss, and I’ll still be triggered. I still have body dissatisfaction and some automatic thoughts that are disordered, even if am not actually acting on them.

The autism and ADHD diagnoses have allowed me to look through my triggers with a slightly different lens. I’m not saying my neurodivergence caused my eating disorder, but I have learned that high levels of social interactions are very triggering for me. I think this is related to me desperately wanting to control how others perceive me. The short of it: the neurodivergence already makes some of the way I interact seem socially “wrong”/not socially acceptable*. Bodies are also heavily policed- shape and size and the clothes you wear and makeup and whatever. Since my shape and size has always been a target for bullying/othering (I believe in part as a proxy for the social things kids couldn’t quite verbalize), it’s a major insecurity for how people will perceive me as a whole. Like, I knew I couldn’t just magically be better at social things, so past ED me had this idea that if I was just a bit thinner, more beautiful, I would be more “socially acceptable”* and people could overlook my social difficulties.

As I get closer to starting school, thinking about orientations and retreats and white coat ceremony and all the freaking pictures they seem to love to post all over the place, this is coming up again. Even sitting in a classroom- how am I going to be perceived? And patients? How will they perceive me? (To be clear: this came up in my master’s program, but it wasn’t too bad. Because of Covid, we had a lot of resources available online so I didn’t need to be in class most of the time.)

Of course there is more to it, like aspects of control (which, arguably, this is too- controlling something because I can’t control perceptions- but I mean more from the standpoint of there being so many uncertainties in school that I can’t always control for, something about the structure of it and the routines too, idk).

Anyway, all of this to say, I think I need some good supports in place NOW, but I’m not sure what exactly. My husband is great, but I’m NOT good at recognizing when I’m really slipping until it’s actively affecting multiple areas of my life, and I need to be able to recognize it earlier, before it fucks me over and I’m actually relapsing.

I have Recovery Record still on my phone so I did their two questionnaires (EPSI and EDE-Q) but they give results in terms of standard deviations from their population. But they do show a pattern of continued mental pathology even if I’m not acting on it. Which may be why I’ve felt the last 2-3 weeks especially like I’m slipping a little bit. (the EAT-26, which I’ve taken before and scored… much higher than cut off… is currently below cut off, which idk how to take that exactly because “sometimes” answers are worth 0 just like “rarely” and “always” but that doesn’t mean “sometimes” thoughts or behaviors are actually like… normal/not disordered).

It all just sucks rn. Like last night I was up kind of crying over all of it, but I’m not sure over what. Like, am I grieving my old body still? The way I could control and structure everything just right? The way I could just eat a fucking meal and even if I was internally dying over it people around me wouldn’t bat a fucking eye (but now every food I put in my mouth is scrutinized but OTHER people, even when they don’t see me eat. I’ve HEARD the judgments). Tbh it’s a weird dichotomy because I know I was miserable and could barely function but I also know it was helping me cope (just not in a positive way). And I honestly think I looked so much better and other people legit treated me so differently (better, kinder, less judgmental, I legit had thin privilege) and it just. It sucks to not have even that and now to go back into a similar situation. Ugh.

*Re: “acceptable” and body shape and size and socially acceptable as a whole. Women in general have expectations for how they can appear and interact with the world. Fat women aren’t thin and have some different expectations. Based on how fat women are portrayed in media, there seems to be a hidden message about which fat women get accepted by society. IYKYK.

[marianprayers]

how do you pray? what if your prayers are not answered or you feel like they aren't being listened to? i have tried praying and I'm still unsure how i feel about religion and I don't resonate with a specific one but idk i just don't feel heard or like I'm doing it properly you know? what is your advice? and how do you learn about religion without going to church. obviously there's Google and stuff but it's not rlly helpful lol. are there any books that you recommend?

hi thanks for the question! i’m happy to answer

i think i struggled with this- feeling like my prayers weren’t being listened to- as well and i think it was mostly due to the fact my heart just wasn’t in it. i wasn’t committed to my prayer or to my intention or to my faith. i found myself in a weird middle phase similarly to you where i needed something more in my life but couldn’t find what. for a long time i studied astrology to help but then found so much comfort in the Lord & particularly Mary.

so i would suggest explore your options. find something you really resonate with, and when you talk with whatever/whoever that is, commit your heart and show your devotion. for me, no matter what happens after my prayer, i feel comforted knowing i have spoken to God, and that He or Mary will be watching and hearing.

maybe you could try saying a prayer like The Memorare, which i have posted on my page, to solidify your prayer and seek action from Mary.

and for how i personally pray, it is very situational. sometimes i simply clasp my hands together. sometimes i do nothing external at all and just repeat a prayer in my head; i do this often in public. if i want Them to know i’m really committed to my prayer i will hold my rosary in between my palms as i pray, as people say that Mary holds one end of the rosary and you hold the other. but prayer is very personal and intimate. i suggest doing what works for you!

and on learning about religion i am little help, as i am still very early on in my journey, and trying to learn myself. i’ve been recommended “The Secret of the Rosary” and “The True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin” as books to read. of course reading Bible verses. i like the app “Women’s Bible”, as i don’t yet feel ready to purchase a physical bible. you can add notes and annotate on this app, and the interface is pink! i was also recommended the “Baltimore Catechism”, which is a Q&A style book that teaches all about God/Catholicism.

but my best advice is follow profiles online! there’s lots of lovely girls on twitter who have helped me and there’s lots of blogs out there.

i hope this can help <3

[zirawrites]

Hi, Could you reblog the FAQ please, I can’t seem to find it😅

Unfortunately I'm an ancient Tumblr user and so my FAQ is nestled in the drop-down menu of my actual blog.

I haven't been on Tumblr since 2019, so this new social layout has an old fart like me very confused lolol. I’m realizing most people use the app with pinned posts and other magical stuff idk how to do. Here is a link to the FAQ page. However, I'll post it below in case that's easier to access via mobile!

Q. What kind of reactions can I request?

A. I write standard reactions, headcanons and occasionally one shot fics. A standard reaction is: “How would [CHARACTER] react to [SCENARIO]?” Headcanons are: “What are some things [CHARACTER] would do if [SCENARIO]?” One shot fics, imagines and prompts include: “Can you write a story about [CHARACTER] doing [SCENARIO]?”

Q. How do I know you got my request?

A. All requests are usually done in the order of which I’ve received them. If you haven’t seen a response from me in over a week, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask if I’ve seen it.

Q. Do you write NSFW content?

A. It depends on if I am comfortable with the specific topic. If you think your request might be NSFW, feel free to send it anyways. A trigger warning on darker subjects is always appreciated.

Q. Can I become a mod?

A. This is my personal writing account, so I am not taking any mods at the moment. Everything posted is solely written by me.

As a side note, I worked very hard on my theme so you should check my actual blog out <3 I even have an About Me section talking about the ancient art of 2012 Tumblr rpgs.

[rebelcliche-archive2]

🍓 [ as if you don’t already compliment me on the regular lmfao i’m GREEDY ]

um??? idk what i can tell you that i already haven't but ok.

fr tho- you're like, my best friend. i hate to imagine what life in fandoms and the real world would be like without you. i can talk to you about anything and you never judge me for it. even when i'm being the most heinous of bitches, you're still understanding and never make me feel shitty. you're way more patient with me than i deserve and idk how i'll truly be able to show all the appreciation that you deserve. it's really gotten to the point where if we have to go a day where we don't talk i get depressed lmfao. you're stuck with me forever, as i tell you time and time again, but it's TRUE!

i couldn't ask for a better shipping partner- i mean, who tf else goes "oh, you're writing this character? well, i'm writing their s/o" like??? we have so many ships together at this point that it's insane, but i love all of them and never get bored of writing with you! you master the portrayal of every single muse you take on because you put in the effort; you expand on them and really put thought into them and their portrayal and how they would handle things. you never have a 2-d portrayal and you deserve for recognition for your amazing writing!

you're an amazing person who deserves all good things and should never settle for less than that! and i will personally kick the ass of anyone who ever tries to fuck with you. i'd catch a charge for you, Q, but you already knew that lmao. anyway, i could go on forever, but i'll cut it off here to save the dash from having to scroll for a day just to get past this post lmao. just know i love you always and think you're basically the best thing since sliced bread! <3