#idk anyways. there was a lock on my bedroom on the outside and I remember waking up in the morning before anyone else and playing in my room
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milo-is-rambling · 2 years ago
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Nothing like some light substance abuse to really make you feel like a child again
#me sitting in my room shaking in silence after turning all my lights off quickly and locking my bedroom door and holding my breath as my#mother turns the light on outside to let the dog out and the light between the blinds comes pouring into my rook#on the carpet I see her shadow as she walks past#minutes feel like hours as I wait for her to sulk away back to her cave. I open my bedroom door to sneak away to the bathroom and the light#from the kitchen is visible in the hallway. this feels like a personal attack when you’re a child sneaking around in the late hours. it#feels like we’re two mountain lions claiming territory in this house and you are cornering me in my bedroom just like when I was a child#I am typing this from under three blankets layered over each other to hide the light from my screen (with reduced white point) just in case#my mother walks outside near my window or near my bedroom door.#I feel so connected to my childhood self right now. sitting in the dark room with the only light coming from one window with the blinds draw#n. just the outline of each individual blind. and the light pouring in from under a locked bedroom door. if she knocks you have to answer.#if you don’t answer she will unlock it herself. locks never meant privacy in my home. I remember that clearly.#there was a lock on my childhood bedroom in my house in Maine. locked from the outside not the inside. they could lock me in but I couldn’t#lock anyone out. to be fair I had a habit of getting up in the middle of the night sneaking to the kitchen and eating slices of processed#individually wrapped cheese slices while watching horrifying shows like oobi and the fucking one with the band of four ppl they were all a#different colored instrument#idk anyways. there was a lock on my bedroom on the outside and I remember waking up in the morning before anyone else and playing in my room#and reading and waiting for like a half an hour every morning for someone to wake up and decide they had the energy to come deal with me#so that’s fun. undiagnosed adhd core.#coming out of whatever high trance I just had where I was connected to all of that childhood terror of being seen by my mother. I was afraid#of being caught even though I was doing nothing wrong. I was constantly afraid of something I did not have any reason to be afraid of.#it felt like at any moment I could be wrong place wrong timed with my mother and suddenly feel like the worst person ever. and I’m sure that#demanded a lot of attention and made her pull away from dealing with me I mean she had just lost her job and was running her own business#now and she was stressed and broke and trying to keep it together and I’m sure I was running around under her feet or my brother and I were#arguing but idk I just feel like I don’t remember anything from my childhood and what I do remember is being afraid of everything and is#that some emotional thing or is that just I have been anxious my entire life and no one cared until I was literally trying to kill my sled#self fucking autocorrect#anyways.#I think my mother has gone to bed so I’m going to slink into my own bathroom and maybe throw up a little 👍 I am excited to see what the fuck#I wrote here when I reread it tomorrow
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annab-nana · 2 years ago
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can i get 22 from list a with yelena pls i hope i’m not too late idk why i didn’t see the tag in my notifs 😭😭
you weren't too late but i am definitely very late with getting back to this ask so i'd say we're even
prompt: snowed in. only one bed
warnings: not proofread, undressing, sharing a bed (obvi), cuddles, fluff
❀ masterlist ❀
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"follow me," you urged when you spotted the cabin in the distance. yelena and you both were freezing as the unexpected snowstorm continued its relentless downfall and the small red room base that you two had bolted from was in the middle of nowhere it seemed. no sun in the sky only lowered the temperature even more.
with a nod, the blonde was on your six, following the tracks you made in the snow as you approached the small wooden home. the doors were locked, but you did manage to open a window for you two to crawl through.
the place appeared small from the outside, but it was even more compact once you got inside as well. there was a small den area, kitchen, laundry closet, bathroom, and a single bedroom. the only sounds that could be heard throughout the tiny space were the blistering winds outside and teeth chattering from both you and yelena. together, you worked on starting a fire, each of you yawning with each piece of wood you tossed in.
"i can take the couch," you offered while looking over yelena's shoulder at the lumpy blue couch behind her. her eyes followed your line of sight and she shook her head when she turned back to you.
"we can share the bed. we need to keep warm anyway."
after a quick nod, you followed her toward the bedroom and repeated her actions of slipping out of your suits, now soaked with water from melted snow. a shiver passed over your skin when you were left only to your bra and underwear, so you made haste to get under the sheets. you covered as much of yourself as you could with the blankets and curled in on yourself, facing the wall.
the bed dipped behind you when yelena joined you, the gust of wind that flowed in when she lifted the blankets making you shiver once more. your shivers and shakes must've been too much for your mission partner, considering her next words.
"just get over here."
"huh?" you asked when you turned to face her. you couldn't have heard her correctly.
"i'm cold and you clearly are too. it doesn't have to mean anything, but we both won't be able to fall asleep if we're frozen. so..." she trailed off, her open arm inviting you in.
if you weren't fearful that you'd turn blue any second, you probably would've thought on it more. but your need for warmth far outweighed any clear thinking skills you had.
scooting over, you wrapped your arms around her bare waist and let one of your legs slot between hers. one of her cold hands ran over your back, the friction of her actions providing you both some warmth.
"can this mean something?" you inquired softly, almost too quiet for yelena to hear.
"hmm?"
"you said this doesn't have to mean anything, but can it?" you reiterated while keeping your head on her chest, not daring to look at her face. a bit of silence followed your query and you wondered if you two were just going to pretend it never was asked in the first place.
yelena's lips pressing to your head stopped your thoughts from going downhill and focused them back on her. the girl who had occupied your mind constantly spoke up when she pulled away.
"it was going to mean something to me anyway."
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remember to support writers & reblog :)
turn on notifications for @annab-library to be notified when i post something new!
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jewishbarbies · 5 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/jewishbarbies/756558301352902656?source=share
this is so relatable lol. But my parents were could be considered abusive by western standards so it might not be that relatable but yeah. Worst part was my parents would go through all my books, diaries, everything. I used to love writing when I was a kid and I used to want to write books back then. But my mother would do “random checks” in which unexpectedly when I was in the shower or not in my room, she’d take my school bag and all the books in my room, empty it and scatter the books, and go through each and every one of them with the hopes of finding… idk what. Already made fun of me and laughed and yelled at me for whatever she would find though. It wasn’t like I was writing anything bad or inappropriate at the time, but the more she did that, the less I wrote because writing was something I considered very personal at the time and it felt like my privacy was stripped from me lol. This started around the age of 7-8 and by the time I was 13, I never wrote another story again and threw away all my journals. She would do this with my phone as well, reading all of my texts and going through my apps because she didn’t trust me (her words). The last time I remember her doing this was when I was 16, but I suspect she still does it now. I journal now occasionally, but I have to either write my stuff in French or a made up language because she can’t understand French or the language I made up now lol. Unfortunately I still live with her. But yeah, she did this with all of my interests. And I hated when she would come to any of my school or sports events because she was always disappointed as fuck whenever I didn’t come first, and had cultivated an immense fear of failure in me ever since I was a kid, one that I’m still trying to rid myself off lol. It was so bad that there’s so many things I refuse to do because I’m terrified of failing lol.
Anyways, this was a random ass dump of information you didn’t ask for lol. Feel free to delete this.
my parents were the “don’t make me take the door off the hinges and throw all your stuff in a dumpster” every time i pissed them off kind of parents so i feel ya with this.
they were assholes about privacy. they rarely knocked coming into mine and my siblings’ rooms so they walked in on us all changing more than once and just kept doing it, refusing to knock bc it was “their house”. they were very militant about computers and phones, not necessarily always to catch us doing something bad but bc they just needed to know everything all the time. I once created a Skype account to join a text only group chat of teens back when i was a swiftie and my dad said i “broke his heart”, almost actually shedding a tear, by not asking them first so they “had to take computer privileges away” and laid the disappointment on as thick as they could, doing a homeschooled version of grounding.
when they found out i was writing a fic they didn’t like bc they were “suspicious” of me (with no proof of any wrongdoing just vibes apparently) and went looking, they made me delete the whole account and scrub the computer of anything related to it. I never had a diary bc i knew they would read it. as an adult with a bedroom door that actually locks, i still can’t put headphones on and play computer games bc of the deep fear of them walking in and getting me in trouble, even with innocent things. the doorknob can be unlocked from the outside with a penny or sturdy fingernail for safety reasons but i know for a fact my parents would open my door if they felt they needed to even without an emergency. there’s no trust there. my mom has been convinced there’s something “evil” (in her words) about me since i was 4yrs old which is ironically around the time my first memories of their abuse take place.
they were abusive in many other ways, some physically, but I doubt I’ll ever shake that feeling like I’m always doing something wrong no matter what it is and that people will get mad at me for it. that shit sticks with you the longest.
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blaisers · 7 months ago
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When I was nineteen my mom and I travelled a long way to visit my uncle and some other family the other side of the planet at his lake house. Now, I used to have horrible problems with motion sickness, so before we left my primary doctor prescribed me the Michael Jordan of Antinausea Meds™️, which also happens to be a large component in some surgical anesthesia medications (don’t ask me what it is, I don’t remember). Anyway, I didn’t sleep on the flight and I barely closed my eyes on the train, so I arrived to my uncles house pale and visibly exhausted. We had a family reunion that afternoon though, so I put off sleeping to catch up with some cousins. Later, as everything wound down, my mom found me passed out on the couch and said, “sweetie, let’s go to bed okay?” I nodded and started moving pillows, checking under cushions, looking on shelves, et cetera. My mom asks me what I’m looking for and I say, “The eggs. I have to find the eggs.”
Now, for context, we do big family Easters (almost) every year where anyone unmarried and without children hunt for eggs. This tradition had been squashed by the pandemic though, and so the last time we had seen most of the family at this point was most likely at an Easter event. My mom saw my glossy eyes and shuffling gate and went, “Hey, Blaisers is sleepwalking…someone help?” My cousin watched me open cabinet doors for a minute while my mom and uncle went “do we give her eggs and pretend like she won the Easter egg hunt? Idk what to do.”
Eventually I started acting somewhat normally, and my mom coaxed me upstairs to go to bed. I go to enter the wrong bedroom (which someone was already sleeping in) and my mom goes, “no honey, that’s not our room.” And I go “I know mom, I’m going to the store. God.”
My mom sits me down in our room and discusses a course of action with my uncle. To prevent me from wandering into the lake or getting hurt, they decide to lock me and my mother into the room from the outside werewolf-style. I start actively participating in my bedtime routine, and my mother breathes a sigh of relief. My uncle locks us in, and my mother also gets ready for bed. As I’m taking my daily asthma medication on the edge of my cousin’s childhood twinbed, I turned to my mom and said, “so when will we go to the store for eggs?”
The moral of the story is to not get a lake house if you have sleepwalking relatives, or you will have to lock them into your children’s bedroom like a werewolf during the full moon. The End.
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14dayswithyou · 2 years ago
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one sided enemies / lovers ren x mc fic where the high tension point of it is mc trying to stab ren while he’s “asleep” only for him to open his eyes and grab their wrists as they try and aim for his throat only for him to look them in the eyes and say “you’re really beautiful”, 25k slowburn, pinning, childhood friends to strangers to one sided love/hatred, not updated since 2018
A/N: Hello angels! Sorry I haven’t updated my multichapter 14DWY AU in a while! I got married, had three kids, divorced and then immediately got remarried again, came out of a 3-year coma due to my lack of copium, and recently adopted a dog :D Also I had to undergo surgery because I was suffering from sugondese, but I'm back now with another chapter! Plz enjoy!
pairings: MC x some pink haired guy idk i haven't played 14dwy
tags: over 25k word count, enemies to lovers to strangers then back to friends but not really, slow burn, only one bed, mpreg, stabbing (but not the sexual kind), pining, lemon/smut scene, mafia!au, etc.
Now was your chance. You finally had the opportunity to kill the fucker that had been embezzling funds from your Mafia father’s company. The timing was perfect... you had seduced him with your super hot appearance and slipped sleeping pills into his drink like a creep who belongs in jail. Now he was unconscious in your bed (there's only one bed in this huge expensive $$$ mansion) because you're not a monster who lets your enemies/lovers sleep on the ground.
Getting closer to the sleeping dude, you noticed that he was sleeping with a cheap ass face mask and sliced, dollar store cucumbers on his eyes… Like wtf… If he could steal over $1,000,000 from your father, you’d think he’d be able to buy something more expensive? Cheap ass….
Anyways it doesn’t matter because now you're looming over him and ripping off his $2 mallwart self-care products and staring at his prone and vulnerable form.
Wow... he actually looked.... beuatiful????
No-- stop it Y/N M/N L/N! this was not the time to be falling for the enemy! after your recent break-up with Teo -- the son of the rival mafia and the guy you were once in an arranged marriage with -- you were in no position to date again. But... wait… who said anything about dating? oh wait I did because I'm the narrator lol
Shaking your head and letting your H/L H/C hair loose, you draw your knife and angle it at the pink-haired ex-yakuza heir (your father and his mother are rivals as well). But before you could go for his jugular or smth, his eyes flutter open and lock onto yours.
It was as if time stopped and nothing else existed outside of your bedroom walls. You were captivated by his striking blue orbs and soft, dewy skin. He looked like an angel sent from heaven — but in the form of your childhood friend. aka the one you met on the playground all those years ago.... sakura blossoms were blowing in the wind which was romantic, but didnt make sense because corland bay doesn’t take place in Japan (omg 14dwy lore?? in my crack fic????)
Memories come flooding back, and it was as if the pink-haired guy was remembering them too — if the way his eyes softly trace over your features was any indication. How could you kill him? Did you want to kill him? He was nothing but kind to you, despite the fact that he literally stole money from your family and tried to kill you ex. And wtf why am I actually putting effort into this???
Shaking your head again (i don't know that many descriptors), you strengthen your resolve and press the blade firmly against his heart instead. But ya mans must've been made out of steel or something because you haven't drawn blood yet? tf?? anyways, before you could notice, he wraps a large and veiny hand around your wrist and softly murmurs something under his breath.
For some reason you forgot how soft and breathy his voice sounded, and for a moment in time, you found yourself falling for him. ah shit bois it's the beginning of the enemies to lovers arc!!!!! yehaw 🤠 ok anyways
Before you could say anything, he cuts you off "You look beautiful”
"How can you say that I'm literally wearing a balaclava right now? :/" you say, “I’m going for that mysterious vibe”
"Yeah but I know the real you, the you that's underneath that balaclava."
it was sweet, but you knew better than to trust the words of your enemy/lover. "Ok but what if I told you I was wearing another one underneath”
"yeah that's valid i'm literally wearing two sweaters rn"
"oh sick" looking down you notice that he wasn’t lying “nice I love the complimentary colours. very neutral and very based uwu”
"y-y-y-y-eah" he blushes "sorry i forgot that i'm supposed to be haruko rn"
"oh shit!! you like attack on giants? my man!!!!!"
"i-it's pretty pog ^^ anyways," he looks at your really cool and expensive gucci blade that was pressed against his heart. "weren't you going to kill me?"
"oh yeah" drawing the knife for the 69th time, you position it again before looking into his ocean blue cerulean cyan orbs once more. "this is for stealing money from my dad… the richest mafia don in all of corland bay…. he's a great dad btw because my mom tried to sell me to one direction-- anyways I'm rambling now. time to unalive you hehe"
but... you couldn't do it. You couldn't kill your childhood friend, your twin flame, and the man you harboured secret feelings for. He was too pretty and too Baby to kill. look at him. Would you really murder a guy looking like that? Jail time for even thinking about harming such an innocent soul :/ and so, you retract the blade and dramatically look off into the distance.
"I.... I can't do it."
"here i'll do it then." and then he grabs the knife and straight up stabs himself.
"MY BROTHER IN CHRIST WTF???"
"you wanted to kill me, and I only want what you want. it's logic :)"
"omg the rapper? anyways that's not what I-- you know what? yeah okay sure bet"
and just like romeo and juliet, you stab yourself as well so you could be with your lover in the afterlife. But you didn't die quick enough, so you had some time to kill on the ONLY bed in the mansion. so u woohoo with each other before kicking the bucket
you see ren in the afterlife and that’s when you realise that one of you were pregnant. yeah.... now this is the annoying part of every fic where they introduce the unwanted pregnancy arc. but that continues in chapter 69 so stay tuned! I should be able to update this next week if nothing goes wrong :)
-- THE END --
A/N (for real): if y'all want an actual serious scenario with this prompt, lemme know lmao
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destiny-fics · 2 years ago
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Interrupted With Hyunjin
[Hwang Hyunjin x Yang Jeongin x Fem!Reader]
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Genre: Smut
Summary: Jeongin just wanted to borrow Hyunjin's hair treatment. But when he accidentally walks in on Hyunjin with his girlfriend, he gets a lot more than he bargained for. Jeongin’s not one to complain about it though.
Tags: Threesome (MxMxF), Bisexual!Hwang Hyunjin, Bisexual!Yang Jeongin, Sub!Jeongin, they’re not in love, but like they might be
Warnings: Smut, anal sex, making out, marking, oral (fem recieving), implied shower sex, getting interrupted while having sex, threesomes, pet names used: princess, prince, angel, baby, sweetheart, unprotected sex, please wrap before you tap
A/N: Idk if this is actually what I wanted it to be or I’m just overthinking too much, but anyway, here’s the second part of the Interrupted series! Thank you once again to @reynxseungknow for reading my mind and requesting these! I hope you enjoy!! Read the piece which started it all here
Smut under the cut. Minors Do Not Read
If you didn’t know any better, you would think that Hyunjin was trying to get you caught.
You did know better however, so you knew that him forgetting to close the door to his bedroom, let alone lock it, was purely because he was so focussed on you. And so focussed on you and him together, that anything outside of that was pushed to the back of his mind. 
Hyunjin had you naked from the waist down, tongue licking lazily through your folds, your hands twisted through his hair and mouth open in a silent moan when Jeongin walked in.
“Hey Hyunjin can I borrow that hair treatment you…what the fuck are the two of you doing?” Hyunjin sprang away from you at the sound of Jeongin’s voice and, much to your dismay, quickly covered himself instead of you, making you rush to cover up. Hyunjin scrambled to try and find an excuse as to what the two of you had been doing when Jeongin interrupted with an eye roll “I know what sex is Hyunjin, I’m an adult remember? Doesn't mean I want to see all of…” he looked you and Hyunjin over, a little spark in his eye, before finishing his sentence “that. No offence, but I know what it is. 
Hyunjin was now doing a very accurate impression of a fish and you rolled your eyes at him. You were not looking forward to having to deal with your very dramatic boyfriend once Jeongin had left. “We know, sorry Jeongin. We’ll make sure to lock the door next time,” you sent a pointed look to Hyunjin, who was still opening and closing his mouth in shock, as if under some kind of spell. “As for the guppy's hair treatment, it’s in the bottom corner of the shower, brown bottle. You can’t miss it.”
Jeongin laughed and gave you one of his famous gorgeous smiles “it’s okay y/n. I already told you, I know what sex is. Besides,” he gave you and Hyunjin another once over, “you both looked very pretty.”
Jeongin’s compliment seemed to snap Hyunjin out of whatever spell he was under and he glared at Jeongin, “yah! Yang Jeongin.”
Jeongin cracked up, “I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind joining sometime,” he gave you another smile and waved his fingers at you with a wink, retreating out of Hyunjin’s room and into the hallway to head to the bathroom. 
Once Jeongin had left, you sent Hyunjin a glare “glad to see you were in such a rush to cover me up instead of yourself,” Hyunjin whined at your words and walked back over to you, gracefully falling on top of you and burying his head in your neck.
“I’m so sorry my princess.”
“It’s okay my prince,” you kissed the top of his head gently, beginning to play with his hair. “I don’t think Jeongin minded that much.”
Hyunjin whined again at your words and it made you laugh “I’ve ruined my sweet baby’s innocence y/n.”
“We talking about the same sweet baby? Yang Jeongin? The Yang Jeongin?”
Hyunjin looked up at you with a raised eyebrow “How many Yang Jeongins do you know?”
“Ah,” you pressed a kiss to Hyunjin’s forehead, making him scrunch up his face with a smile. “So you are talking about the Yang Jeongin who propositioned us after telling us several times that he knows what sex is. That sweet baby, got it.”
Hyunjin scoffed “He did not proposition us y/n.”
“You wanna bet? If I asked him to come in here right now and join us, he absolutely would.”
Hyunjin grinned at the suggestion and pressed his face back into your neck “mmm, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you sat up a bit and Hyunjin began to press soft kisses to your neck. “Hey Jeongin! Want to join us?”
You grinned when you heard Jeongin’s footsteps come back down the hall, your grin widening when he poked his head through the still open door.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
"Come over here then sweet baby," Hyunjin hummed against your neck, licking over your sweet spot to make you gasp. Jeongin practically sprinted over to the bed, kneeling on it, right next to you and Hyunjin.
"You know, I'm not that innocent Hyunjin," Jeongin snorted, pushing back some of the hair from Hyunjin's face so he could see the way his lips attached to your neck, sucking deep purple bruises into the skin. 
"That's what I tried to tell him Innie," you hummed softly, pulling Jeongin down to press your lips against his. Jeongin immediately slipped his tongue into your mouth with a pleased sigh. The two of you made out for a bit, Hyunjin still kissing and sucking at your neck, and their hands began to slide over your body. Hyunjin’s hands had a practised ease to them and Jeongin’s hands were eager, like he’d been waiting for this for a long time. And perhaps he had, not that he was telling you or Hyunjin that though.
He pulled away from your lips to breathe, panting quietly into the space between you. You smiled softly and Hyunjin moved to press a sweet kiss to Jeongin’s cheek “How do you wanna do this Innie? How do you want to touch her?” He licked the shell of Jeongin’s ear, making him shudder. “How do you want to touch me?”
“I-fuck,” Jeongin screwed his eyes shut as Hyunjin began to press kisses to his neck, sucking pretty love bites into the skin. You smoothed your hands down Jeongin’s arms to calm him down and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.
“It’s okay baby, just take a deep breath.” Jeongin nodded and Hyunjin grinned against his neck, detaching himself to whisper in Jeongin’s ear.
“You wanna pick up where I left off sweetheart? Have a taste of my girl?”
Jeongin nodded quickly “please, yes please.” 
Hyunjin grinned and detached himself from Jeongin so that he could move you all into position, Hyunjin sat up against the headboard of his bed, you in between his legs and Jeongin facing you, head near your centre. 
“Go ahead Innie,” Hyunjin prompted, spreading your legs further apart so Jeongin could get in between them. “Taste her.”
Jeongin didn’t need much more encouragement than that. He leaned down and began to press kisses up and down your thighs, missing the areas where you needed him the most. You whined softly at the teasing and Hyunjin giggled, kissing the top of your head. “Is he teasing you, my princess?” You nodded with a pout and Hyunjin laughed again. He nodded at Jeongin, “Be nice angel, she’s been so good.” Jeongin hummed and placed his hands on your thighs before beginning to kitten lick at your centre. You gasped softly, melting into Hyunjin, who pressed his face into your hair, eyes locked onto Jeongin. 
Jeongin was humming and groaning as he lapped at your entrance, collecting your wetness with his tongue to spread it around your folds. He drank up each desperate moan he pulled from you and responded with a groan of his own. His eyes were darting between both you and Hyunjin, not certain of which of you he wanted to look at. Hyunjin, upon noticing Jeongin’s clear dilemma, nodded down to you with a smile and Jeongin flicked his eyes to your face, gasping softly at how fucked out you looked already, from just his tongue. 
“Jeongin please…” you whined softly, wiggling your hips into his face, “please don’t stop.” Jeongin nodded quickly before going back to your centre, pulling another beautiful moan from you.
“He’s doing so well huh baby?” Hyunjin hummed softly, kissing the side of your head. You nodded, eyes fluttering shut as Jeongin pushed a finger inside of you, tongue moving up to flick at your clit.
“Yeah…he’s so good.” Jeongin almost preened at the praise and began to finger you properly, his fingers curling inside of you. His other hand, along with Hyunjin’s, kept your legs spread as your thighs threatened to close around his head. 
“I bet,” Hyunjin hummed softly, “You think he’s gonna make you cum?”
You nodded quickly, hips bucking into Jeongin’s face. He’d slipped two more fingers inside of you and nodded along to Hyunjin’s question.
“Please y/n, please cum on my face.” You looked up at Hyunjin after Jeongin had spoken and as if his nod was the trigger to your orgasm, the cord inside you snapped and you came with a loud moan of Jeongin’s name, hips still grinding into his face. Jeongin eagerly fingered you through your orgasm, stopping only when you whined in overstimulation. He removed his fingers from you and you pulled him up to kiss you, not caring that you could taste yourself on his lips.
“How’d I do?” he asked once you’d pulled away and you giggled softly.
“Wonderful Innie. You’re so, so good.”
Jeongin flushed at the praise and Hyunjin laughed softly before going to kiss Jeongin. The two of them kissed for a while before breaking apart to turn to you with twin grins. You tilted your head in question and their grins only widened, before they both moved forward, pressing you into the bed.
“What are you two planning?” 
“Oh nothing,” Jeongin sing-songed, pecking your lips.
“Just wondering how you feel about Jeongin fucking you while I fuck him?” Hyunjin hummed, moving behind Jeongin and smoothing his hands over the other man’s sides and hips. 
“Please, yes, absolutely,” you rushed out, cupping Jeongin’s face gently, “if that’s what Innie wants.”
At Jeongin’s nod, both you and Hyunjin sprung into action, undressing him quickly and pressing kisses to any and all skin you could reach. You watched each gasp and moan fall from Jeongin’s mouth and Hyunjin prepped him and you smoothed your hand soothingly over his arm.
“It’s okay angel, you’re doing so well for us.” You whispered softly and Jeongin buried his face into your neck, moaning softly. 
“Hyunjin,” he whined. “Please, please fuck me.”
Hyunjn removed his fingers from Jeongin before getting ready and tapping his cock against Jeongin’s asshole. You played with the hairs at the nape of Jeongin’s neck, soothing him when Hyunjin pushed inside. Jeongin let out a strangled moan into your neck, the noise tapering off into a soft whine.
“How you feeling Innie?”
“So good. So fucking good y/n. So full.”
"Yeah?" Hyunjin smirked, rocking in and out of Jeongin a couple of times to test the waters, smirk growing when he moaned again. "Like being filled by my fat cock?"
"Fuck yes," Jeongin moaned into your neck once more, rocking his hips back onto Hyunjin's length.
"Don't forget about our princess Innie," Hyunjin scolded lightly, giving Jeongin a particularly hard thrust to make him cry out. "You gotta fill her up too."
Jeongin nodded quickly and pressed a soft kiss to your neck in apology. "M'sorry for forgetting about you y/n."
"It's okay baby, we all get cock dumb sometimes," you smiled and lifted Jeongin’s face from your neck so that you could look at him. "Especially on Jinnie's cock."
Jeongin giggled, nose scrunching up, "You do?"
"I do," you kissed his nose to make him giggle again and Hyunjin thrust back inside Jeongin, the giggle tapering off into a moan. "But I wanna get dumb on your cock this time Jeongin."
He nodded in determination and wiggled his hips a bit before positioning his cock at your entrance, tapping it lightly against your hole.
You and Hyunjin shared a grin over Jeongin’s back and you gasped as Jeongin pushed himself inside you, filling you up immediately. 
“Oh fuck Jeongin,” you whispered, eyelids fluttering closed. He whined at the feeling of your walls clenching around him and pecked your cheek over and over to keep himself distracted while you got used to the stretch of him.
“You tell us when we can move, princess,” Hyunjin hummed softly, smoothing his hands over Jeongin’s hips and ass in a mildly weak attempt to calm him down. You nodded and after a little while, motioned for them to begin moving. Every time Hyunjin pressed himself into Jeongin, Jeongin was pushed into you. The sound of you and Jeongin’s moans filled the room, Hyunjin’s occasional groans accompanying the symphony of noises both you and Jeongin were making.
And if Hyunjin thought that you were stunning when you came, which you absolutely were, Jeongin could only be on the exact same level of stunning. He let out the most delicious groan as he spilled inside of you, filling you with his cum. His face was pressed back into your neck and fingers making quick circles over your clit to bring you to the edge. Jeongin continued fucking you through his orgasm, even if it was more Hyunjin fucking him into you, because he didn't want you to lose any of the pressure the two of them had been building up for you.
And that seemed to be the push you needed. You and Hyunjin let out twin moans as you both reached your ends, Hyunjin pulling out to spill over Jeongin’s back and you pulling Jeongin even closer as your walls milked him dry.
Once the three of you had come down from your highs, Jeongin pulled out of you and gave you a sweet kiss. 
“How’re you feeling y/n?”
“Perfect Innie,” you pecked his cheek “how are you feeling.”
“Fantastic," he looked between you and Hyunjin with a small, shy smile. "Thank you for asking me to join you both.”
“Of course Jeongin,” Hyunjin sat back on the bed, using the wet cloth he’d collected to wipe the cum off of Jeongin’s back and from in between your legs. “There’s no one we’d rather invite into our bed than you.”
Jeongin’s eyes lit up and he looked in between the both of you once more, “seriously?”
You nodded, sitting up and stretching a bit, “seriously.”
The spark in Jeongin’s eye was replaced with something a little darker and he stood up, grabbing your hand to pull you off the bed. “How about inviting me into your shower?”
Both you and Hyunjin laughed, Hyunjin shaking his head in disbelief “your refractory period is no joke huh?”
“It’s cause I’m young, you were like that too once,” Jeongin cackled, ducking as Hyunjin went to smack him upside the head.
“Yah! You little shit.” Jeongin laughed again and began to pull you out of the room and to the bathroom, Hyunjin chasing the two of you, eyes fond even as he cursed at Jeongin about ‘respecting your elders.’
Maybe your bed wasn’t the only thing you and Hyunjin would end up inviting Jeongin into.
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cindertooth · 3 years ago
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Okay, I know this isn't anything redacted ASMR related, but it's just a scary memory I recently remembered(dont judge meh ;-;) also I'm not the best writer soooo yeh
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This happened when I was a 7-year old little kid
I've always liked having short hair so I've always kept it that way. Anyways, it was almost Christmas, around 2 weeks before it was finally here.
My mom and my stepdad dropped us off at my grandma's house at around 6 pm, now that I'm much older I now know they had done this in order to go Christmas gift shopping for my brothers and I.
My grandma lived in a small little apartment just 4 blocks from our house, so my brothers and I came to her home often. My mom had left money to my grandma so she can buy us dinner.
After my mom and stepdad left, my brothers started begging to my grandma to buy them pizza, my grandma a very sensitive and a really kind-hearted person so she said yes when my brothers only begged her for like 10-seconds. They asked for pizza because they knew my grandma lived near a pizza place.( I forgot what type of pizza it was though)
.
.
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After eating and showering, my grandma tucked us into our pajamas, my brothers were doing whatever the heck in grandma's bedroom while I was in her living room watching hello kitty on her old TV. While just watching the show, my grandma came out of the bathroom with dirty laundry and told me that she'd be back, she had to go to a nearby store where you can do your laudery, I forgot what their called,
Before she left I saw her lock the door, but she didn't close the curtains, she had left around 9 something pm, a few minutes later one of my brothers came from the room to go to the bathroom, but before that he asked where was my grandma, I told him she was washing clothes, he went "oh ok" and went to the bathroom.
.
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It was around 11 something and I was still watching hello kitty, my brothers had both already fallen asleep, It was already dark outside and I was wondering when my grandma was going to get back. But Idk why but I didn't think about it for too long.
I was just chilling, until I heard a little tap on the window like someone was tapping their fingers against glass, and after that, I heard someone whisper not too low not too loud but for enough for me to hear them.they said "pss over here look this way" I turned to my right cause that's where the sound was coming, and that when I saw them.
Since it was night and dark they only seemed like a dark shadowy tall figure like really tall (David Shaw kind tall, sry just had to add that)
But anyway, I just looked at them for a few seconds, and then I heard them say "open the door please" I pretty sure they said something else but I forgot, after a few seconds of looking at them Idk why but I just walked away and headed toward my grandmas room where my brothers were, I opened the door and they were both asleep
I scurried over to my brothers and rapidly shook one of them.to wake up , my brother Chris woke up immediately with tired eyes and asked me why I woke him. I told him there was someone at the window so he got up and went to the living room with me but the figure was gone.
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subtle-edge-of-rot · 3 years ago
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I had a dream last night with the Sinclair brothers, and it was very... 👀😳
CW, implication of kidnapping at the start??? (it was sorta blurry lol)
To start, it was in my own house, in the basement. I can't remember if there was a "beginning", I just remember the part of the house catching fire, and me hiding in our bathroom as a result. Only the door wasn't locked.
I was looking for an escape, managed to set Bo on fire in my bedroom, and burst out the screen on my window.
Lester was waiting outside, and sped off before the other two could know where I was. He drove me out to the country, to his own little trailer, where he would keep me safe.
Before I could even get my stuff out of the truck, I ducked down, having seen a glimpse of Vincent's face. Only I gave up when I realized they would find me anyway.
When I sat back up, Vincent yanked me out of the driver's seat and carved a "V" and "B" into my left wrist, in big letters. Only now I wasn't scared and trying to escape, just turned on.
Then I helped lure some victims out to kill them, using my bleeding arm to lure them. After that, idk how it got brought up, but it was mentioned that I punched Bo at some point. I apologized for it, but sorta muttered to myself that it was hot, sauntering away all giddily. Lester also mentioned something to Bo and Vincent about "wanting a pretty little slut like that around the house".
That's where the dream ended. It was all sorta weird lol. But the feeling in the end? Of being horny for them? Worth it.
Sorry if this didn't make much sense, but I needed to share my dream with people who would understand the Sinclair thirst 😌
😳😳😳
This is a sexy dream tbh even with the kidnapping and marking and having a little slut around the house ahhhh I can’t i love this
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eitelle · 4 years ago
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streamer kenma hours 😄
prompt (??): kenma (@/kodzuken) is a popular streamer (ur his s/o 😏) and you do the TikTok trend where you make him cuddle you while he’s playing games
pairings: kenma kozume x gn!reader (gender neutral) but put in any of your preferred pronouns as well if you’d like
TW: a bit of cursing but for the most part none. this is pretty much fluff of a dream I had 💀
ayo this is my first (fanfic?) checkk ‼️😤
A/N: how do I use this app 😀 ok so like idk how tumblr works bc I’m not smart enough so imma treat it like wattpad only I get to shitpost. Wait fuck am I allowed to curse. Fuck. Damn. Wait shit. I mean- ok never mind. Um anyways... this is like a dream I had and I wanted to put it into words ig? Idk 😭 but anyways yeah. oh also put in requests if u want bc I have like no creativity 😔
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After a long hard day at your job, a few minutes before you were done for the day a customer at the store you worked at decided to spill coffee all over you. Now of course this wasn’t their fault in the slightest but on top of the stress from your job it was too much and you let yourself off of work a few minutes early. You checked your notifications and realized your boyfriend, kenma kozume (@/kodzuken) and popular game streamer was streaming and wouldn’t be able to hold you when you got home.
You screamed in frustration in your car as you drove away, angry at the bad luck you’ve been facing today. You check to see if kenma maybe got off stream early and give him a call, but it rings a couple times and goes straight to voicemail. You accept defeat and continue driving, until out of nowhere it starts pouring rain outside.
“Why goddamnit! Of all days I had to not bring an umbrella today was the day,” you mutter as you put up your windshield wipers, hoping the rain would go away by the time you got home. It didn’t. After you finally pull up to your flat in Tokyo, you run, taking all of your stuff through the pouring rain making sure to lock your car. Once you hop into the elevator and wait until it stops at your level (sry if this isn’t accurate lmao I’m not rich 💀) you try to pat yourself dry.
“Y/n, get it together,” you say shivering, hoping that kenmas stream wouldn’t see you as you haven’t been shown on camera yet. Not that your boyfriend is ashamed of you, no, quite the opposite. He knows that some of his fans can be a little, overwhelming to say the least, and would rather keep you away from death threats and bullying online. The elevator finally dings and stops at your flat where you collect your stuff and get into the place you call home. Unable to tell kenma you’re home like you normally do you shoot him a quick text:
To: future husband ‼️😏
hey bub im home... just thought I should let you know. love you <//3
delivered at 21:17pm
After heading over to your shared bedroom and changing into one of his hoodies and sweats, you plop down on the couch and check your phone, seeing a video on TikTok. Apparently it’s a trend to go over and cuddle your s/o while they’re gaming and your bf is a streamer/gamer so you think you should try it on him. Remembering that he has a copy of his stream and you can ask for the footage later, you decide to act now, think later. Surges of adrenaline hitting you in waves, your legs decide to have a mind of their own as you make your way to his gaming room.
Doing a quick knock so that he isn’t so suprised and so you won’t chicken out, you tell him, “bub, I’m coming in ok?” in the most innocent tone you can muster, and open his door, finding him staring at you. No, gaping at you as you make your way over to him looking at his paused video game and the stream chat moving so fast you can only make out a couple words. Some of which being “s/o, lying, sibling, and banana.” Wait maybe that last one wasn’t quite right but you get the point and are shocked at the effect you have. He moved his microphone away from his mouth although its a futile attempt as the high quality technology of his headset picks up the conversation just as easily.
“Kitten what are you doing here? I thought you wouldn’t be home for a couple more minutes and you know how I feel about your face being shown on cams,” the last part sounding very possesive but protective on your end.
Realizing that although you tell yourself it’s just for a TikTok, you didn’t need to lie when giving him a reason and you really do want cuddles. “I’m sorry bub I was just having a bad day at work so I came home a little early and I wanted cuddles. You didn’t respond to my text and I didn’t know you were streaming,” you tell him giving him a look that you know he can’t refuse. As he stares at you dumbfounded, you can’t help laugh a little at the in shock way he looks.
“Fine,” he grits out with no malice and you can tell it didn’t take much to get him to agree. As he moves his microphone back to where it was, you climb onto his lap, straddling his waist, as you wrap your arms around the nape of his neck. “Everyone, meet my... s/o y/n,” he tells the stream while chat goes crazy and you start to get comfy. “We’ve been dating for 3 years now and I haven’t shown their face or revealed I had a s/o because I didn’t want them to receive hate. That being said, now that you all know who they are, please treat them with respect and kindness. They make me really happy,” he says looking at you lovingly as you turn your head to meet his gaze at his words. You blush and turn away, busying yourself with putting his hair back up into a low bun and familiarizing yourself with his steady heartbeat as you cuddle him, slowly falling asleep in his lap.
Kenmas pov: (ahaha bet you weren’t expecting that one)
Now that the stream had ended and I finished my game, winning of course, I was getting sleepy as well, y/n already fast asleep in my lap before I even got 15 kills.
I pick her up watching her snore slightly and drool a little thinking they were the most precious thing ever. As I walk over to our room, careful not to wake them, I murmur subconsciously, “I love you so much baby” not expecting them to repeat the same thing to me in their sleep. When I finally reach our room I lay them down carefully, making sure they wouldn’t wake up as I went to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.
After I finished with hygiene (that’s important kids 😀) and changed into pajamas, I tiptoed back to our bed tucking us both in and cuddling with them, already half asleep.
Fan watching the stream pov: (why am I making so many povs? The world will never know.)
OMG. OMG. THE KODZUKEN JUST ANNOUNCED TO ME AND THE OTHER 2.5 MILLION PEOPLE ON HIS STREAM THAT HE HAS A S/O. Theyre gorgeous of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less, and the way they look at each other- wow. I quickly open Twitter and not to my suprise everyone is freaking out over kodzukens ethereal s/o (thats you babe 😉).
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moral-turpitudes · 4 years ago
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Piece By Piece:
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Trigger Warnings: Angst, Pregnancy, Mentions of Death, Swearing, Implied smut? idk it’s Peaky Blinders so...yup.
Word Count: 3,540
Characters: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader
Request: “Can you make one with Tommy where they start a relashionship after Grace when to NY and when she come back Tommy still feels something for her so reader notice and tells him that it's ok if he wants to be with her cause she wants to see him happy and she never tells the family that she's pregnant and just go away and they meet later on (she receives a black hand too) and talk“
Requested by: Anon
Summary: Thomas Shelby always had his eye on Grace, but little did he know after her departure, he’d grow fond of the new barmaid. As time goes on, he realizes where his heart lies, and Y/N realizes her secret can’t be left in the shadows for long, but she never expected a black-hand to bring them back together again.
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It had been 2 years since Grace left him for the bright and bustling town of New York. It had been 2 years since heart was ripped apart. But It had taken all of one day for his heart to be put back piece by piece.
“You can’t sit around here looking like that Tommy.” The woman said. She’d worked as the new barmaid ever since Grace’s departure. Helping heal his heart one shot of whiskey at a time.
“Looking like what, Y/N?” He asked, his eyes dull and tired as they glanced at her.
“Like this.” She said, pouring a shot and downing it, while sitting next to him. She did her best to copy his expression, adding an over-exaggerated pout to complete her performance.
Thomas scoffed, taking another shot as he watched her laugh.
“I don’t look like that.” He said, turning his head away and looking out the window of the Garrison.
“Oh, but you do.” She said, taunting him.
“Look Y/N, I’m going to have to go in the snug if you continue mocking me.” He said in a serious tone.
Y/N faked a shocked expression as he got up to leave.
“Thomas Shelby...I never thought you’d go and hide from a lady. What’s wrong did I hurt your feelings?” She asked, getting up and cleaning off the table.
“Don’t have any, sweetheart.” He said, walking towards the snug.
“Bullshit.” She said, smirking as she watched him sneak off to drink away his sorrows.
A half hour passed as she’d finished cleaning up, not wanting to think about what mess awaited her in the snug.
She knocked firmly on the door, hearing a groan on the other end.
“Thomas? Are you dead?” She asked, only half joking.
“Come in, Y/N.” He said, his speech slurring slightly.
“You know I can’t leave until you do right?” She asked, taking the empty bottle from him and bringing the shot glass to the small bar window in the room.
“What if I don’t want you to aye?” He asked.
“I’d really appreciate going home. Been here since 9 this morning Tom.” She said, reaching for the lantern on the table. In a swift motion he clasped his hand in hers, causing her to look into his mesmerizing eyes.
“I know love, but I’d appreciate it if you stayed. I can’t hear the shovels as much. Can’t hear the noise.” He said.
Y/N sighed and sat down next to him.
“Why me? Can’t you go stay at your home? Stay with your family? Stay with a random woman?” She asked.
Thomas put his arm around her shoulder. His words still slurring a bit as he spoke.
“I don’t want a random woman love, I want you.” He said.
Her heart raced as he said that. She knew people always talked nonsense when drunk, but she couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t just the whiskey talking.
Y/N sighed and furrowed her brow, remembering how she’d had a thing for the charming blinder ever since she’d stepped foot in Small Heath 2 years ago. But she never thought she’d end up feeling so strongly over the years.
“You don’t want me, Tom. You still want Grace. I know you do.” Y/N said. It hurt her to say it but it was the truth, at least to her.
“She’s not coming back, Y/N. It’s been 2 years. She has a husband back in New York now. So I’d say she’s not coming back.” He said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself it was true.
Y/N went to get up, wiping away a stray tear.
“Aye, c’mere. Don’t cry love.” He said, pulling her closer.
“Alright Tom, if you want me...you’ll have to prove it you know. I’m not falling for your tricks.” She said, finally getting out of his drunken embrace to finish cleaning.
“I’ll show you. Be outside in 5 minutes.” He said. Although he drowned himself in whiskey, he was much more playful when drunk. At least when he was around Y/N.
5 minutes had passed as Thomas stomped out his cigarette into the cold cobblestones. The smoke coming up from the ground and snaking it’s way through the air as it crumbled under the weight of his shoe.
He looked over and saw Y/N locking the doors and walking over to his car, her hair shining in the pale moonlight.
“You’re not driving this thing in your condition.” She said, pulling her coat tightly around her.
“My condition aye? Well...be my bloody guest.” He said, getting in the passenger side reluctantly. He was still far from sober after all.
Thomas watched as she drove, her hands gripping the wheel tightly as she peered through the windshield at the fog covered roads ahead.
“You’re beautiful.” He said, breaking the awkward silence.
“What?” She asked, the engine slightly growling over his words.
He put his hand gently on hers, urging her to stop the car.
“You’re beautiful.” He said, a small smile playing at his lips.
Y/N’s face heated up slightly, shaking her head as she dismissed his words.
“I heard you the first time. Just wanted you to repeat it.” She said with a playful wink before starting the car up again.
Thomas chuckled lightly as she drove on, his house eventually coming into view.
“Fucking finally.” He said, getting out of the car and walking to get Y/N out.
“So what now Tom? I guess since I drove I’m sleeping in the car?” She asked.
“Come inside. You’re sleeping with me.” He said.
“No. I mean-I’d love to-but...that’s not professional for-“ She started to say, her mind racing with the thought of her wildest dream coming true as Thomas crashed his lips to hers.
The tension between them was almost electric, making their movements frantic as he led her through the door and upstairs to his bedroom.
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The next morning, she woke up in the unfamiliar room. Her head pounding slightly as she listened to Tommy’s soft snores beside her. He told her about the shovels before, and about how it wasn’t until he met Grace that they’d stopped bombarding his dreams. But she wondered if she’d ever be that bit of silence he needed, knowing Grace was still out there.
As the weeks went by, he’d show up more to the Garrison, always ordering her to get off work so they could share a drink and mingle with the family. And soon she’d became a welcome face around the Shelby’s, very much the opposite of Grace.
“Y/N, I just want you to know that whatever happens, you’re welcome here. You’re the best thing to have happened to him. Even if he can’t see it yet.” Polly said, taking a swig of her drink.
“You think so? I feel like he’s still on about Grace.” She said, shifting in her seat.
“Men never think with their hearts, nor their heads. But I’d say his is pretty set on you. It better be anyways because we all love you.” Polly said.
Y/N smiled as she watched Thomas and his brothers talking about business, sipping her gin as she sighed, it was the only thing she’d been able to stomach for the past week.
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It wasn’t until a week later though that she realized what was wrong.
But her plight only seemed to worsen when Polly gave her a call that morning.
“You deserve to know Y/N, but Grace is back. Tommy just told me, but he’s been late the past couple of days because he’s been seeing her.” She said.
“Oh.......um alright. Thank you for telling me.” She said, tears welling up in her eyes as she hung up the phone abruptly.
It wasn’t until late in the evening that she’d heard Tommy open the door to her apartment, his face slightly cut in various places, but nothing out of the ordinary for him.
She stayed silent as he walked towards her.
“Y/N? What’s wrong aye?” He asked, hugging her as tears streamed down her face.
“I...I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving Thomas. You and I both know it’s better this way.” She said.
“What are you talking about?” He asked, lighting a cigarette as she paced around her living room.
“I’m talking about Grace. I know she’s back. Polly told me.” She said, her voice thick with more tears threatening to spill.
“I was going to tell you she was Y/N. Believe me.” He said.
She shook her head and chuckled lightly as she sat down.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore, but I’ve made my decision okay? I just want you to know that I love you, but if you’re truly happier with her then please, don’t waste yourself on me...on whatever this was between us.” She said, gesturing vaguely and walking past him, crossing her arms over her as she looked out the window.
“Look Y/N...I’m sorry alright? I didn’t think she’d come back...I won’t see her again.” He said.
Y/N wiped her tears and turned to face him, the nausea of the last few weeks eating away at her along with her nerves.
“You only let one thing rule you Thomas Shelby. And it’s not your heart or your brain.” She said angrily before going up to her room and grabbing her bag and her ticket to London.
As she calmed her nerves, she walked reluctantly down the stairs. Her heart breaking at the fact that he didn’t even deny seeing Grace, especially while she was away at work and at home sick.
“You’re just up and leaving then aye?” He asked, an angry tone to his voice.
“I’m doing what’s best for us, Tom. Maybe one day I’ll find it in me to come back. But today is not that day. I’ll see you around.” She said, walking out the door. Leaving her letter of resignation and her last month of rent in the mailbox.
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Another 2 years had passed, leaving Y/N alone in a cramped apartment raising their now 2 year old daughter Jane. She was the perfect mix of both of them. Her eyes almost the color of Tommy’s and her hair and smile reflecting her mother. Y/N smiled, thanking the gods above that she got more of her features, often still feeling bitter about how they’d departed.
All was fine for them, Y/N having found a job as a seamstress. And finding some new friends who’d helped her look after her daughter.
But her quaint life was soon interrupted, all by a small letter in the mail one morning.
“I’m aware that you know a certain man by the name of Thomas Shelby. Let him know his days are numbered. Yours will be as well, Miss. Y/L/N.
L. C.”
Her heart sank at the words on the thin piece of paper, her legs growing weak as she looked at the threatening message and even more threatening black-hand that was printed on the front.
It took everything in her to think about what to do next. She immediately checked on Jane, seeing her sleeping in her bed peacefully as her friend Maria watched over her.
“Maria.” She whispered.
“Yes Y/N?” She asked.
“Somethings come up. I-I have to move back to Small Heath.” She said urgently.
Maria got up carefully and went with her to the small kitchen, tears welling up in her eyes at the news.
“I’m so sorry. I know we’ve been friends for so long, but this is dangerous. I-I have to go. I have to protect her. I want you to go home and stay away from this area alright? I don’t know what Tommy’s gotten himself into but I think it’s bad. Someone knows where I live and I can’t have you getting hurt. I’ll ring you once I’m there okay?” She said, tears streaming down her face once again.
“My god...alright. Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked.
“Yes, it’s not the first time I’ve dealt with him and besides...I knew I’d have to come back some day. Just didn’t think it would be so soon.” She said, hugging her friend for what felt like the last time as she raced to pack once more and carefully scooped her daughter into her arms. Leaving into the night and off towards where her heart once belonged.
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In Small Heath, Tommy sat at his office, cigarette in hand as he looked over the letters his brothers had brought in.
“Isiah, Michael, Finn, you lot check the warehouses. Arthur you come with me.” He said, getting up just as the phone rang.
“Tommy, it’s Polly. I need you to come to my house.”
“I can’t, not right now. We got black hands and I can’t have the boys end up like Grace and John.” He said, his voice cold and emotionless.
“Should we come to the shop?” She asked.
“No I’ll come there...who is we? Just-never mind. I’ll see everyone later. Be careful Poll.” He said before hanging up and heading out the door.
The Changretta’s once again taunted him. And that was one thing he couldn’t bear from anyone, except for Y/N. Ever since Grace was killed by his men he thought of her. His world came crashing down as he saw the blood leaving her body on the ballroom floor. Clinging on to what little bit of life was left in her as she looked at him. It was Luca and his family who ordered that shot, and it was meant for him, but since he cheated death once again, it was coming to him now two-fold.
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“Thank you for letting us stay, Poll.” Y/N said, looking around the lavish house that Tommy had surely acquired over the years.
“It’s no problem dear. I know it’s under the worst circumstances but I’m really glad you came back.” She said, lighting a cigarette as she watched Charlie, Thomas’ son playing with Jane.
“Amongst all this, I came to apologize. I shouldn’t have left, but I had no other choice.” Y/N said, tears threatening to fall.
“I’ve always liked you Y/N and I couldn’t let you go on living without telling you what was going on. I just...didn’t know you were pregnant.” She said, smiling at Jane as she played.
“I uh, just found out that day actually. I didn’t want to tell you all until I told Tommy, but...he didn’t really make that easy aye?” She said.
“No...and it’s a shame Grace passed the way she did, but she at least left Charlie. He’s the one light in his poor life right now. Besides you and Jane of course.” She said.
Y/N shook her head, looking at the boy who shared Tommy’s eyes almost as much as Jane’s did.
“I’m certain he won’t want to see me let alone the daughter he never met. He’s already hurting, I don’t want to hurt him more.” She said, taking a sip of her gin.
“He was torn apart when you left, and you gave very little reason as to why, but now I know and I don’t blame you dear. But even then, I knew that he loved you, he just....let his cock get in the way one too many times.” She said quietly, a chuckle escaping her lips as Y/N smirked.
“I remember I told him something along those lines. I just....always knew he had his eyes on her despite her being thousands of miles away. I should’ve known better...” Y/N said as Jane crawled over to her.
“You did what you had to do, love. Tommy was just too blinded by his past love to see what he was missing. But I assure you he’ll be happy you’re here. You just have to talk to him.” She said.
“If he’s changed as much as you say he has....that will be much easier said than done.” Y/N said, remembering Polly saying that since Grace and his brothers death, he was even more closed off except around Charlie or his beloved whiskey.
“I told him to come here, but he’s off trying to find Luca Changretta and his men. But he’ll be back. It’s safer for us to be here anyways.” She said, blowing out a puff of smoke from her cigarette.
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It seemed like ages before Polly and Y/N heard a loud knock on the door, Y/N holding Jane in one arm and holding Charlie’s hand with the other.
Polly looked through the peephole hesitantly, and then nodded at you as she opened it.
Tommy walked in, barely noticing her at first as Charlie waddled over to him. He wrapped him in a hug, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he looked at Polly.
“What did you need me here for aye?” He asked, none the wiser to the other two people in her house.
“Mama...mama...” Jane said quietly, pointing to the man she’d never seen before.
This caught his attention as he looked over, seeing the one he truly loved over the years carrying the little girl on her hip.
“H-hi...Tom.” Y/N stammered out, her heart racing at the awkward tension in the room.
“Y/N...” Was all he said, slowly putting Charlie down and walking towards her.
His face was cut in various places, almost like she’d seen him 2 years ago.
He looked at the little girl who clung to her mother’s hip, shyly staring at him with her blue eyes that couldn’t fool anyone. She was his and he couldn’t deny it.
“I think we need to talk...” She said quietly, tears threatening to spill as she saw the man who broke her heart all those years ago.
“I think we do.” He said, a sad look to his eyes as he stepped into the drawing room of Polly’s house.
“I’ll be right back love, go play with Charlie yeah?” She asked, sitting her daughter down by the boy that was about her age, playing with two horse shaped toys.
Y/N reluctantly went into the room, Polly giving her a small smile as she sat and watched the children.
“I thought you’d left for good Y/N...” He said.
“I did too, but I got a black-hand letter in the mail. They threatened me and my daughter. I had to come back.” She said, finally letting her tears fall.
She wiped them away as she sat down across from him, not wanting to look him in the eyes.
Tommy rubbed his hand over his face at the fact. He didn’t think he’d try going after her, but he also underestimated him before and it ended tragically.
“When were you going to tell me aye?” He asked, sitting next to her.
“Tell you what? That I got a black-hand or that I was pregnant?” She asked.
Tommy looked away and rubbed his cigarette against his lips before lighting it, just as he always did.
“So she’s mine aye?” He asked.
“Yes. Can’t deny it. Her eyes are practically yours. I could tell you knew as soon as I saw your face.” She said, getting up to pace around.
“I’m sorry for the way I treated you, Y/N. Everyday since you left I regretted it. I loved Grace, and chose her but I really should’ve chosen you and I’ll never forgive myself for that.” He said, watching her pace around the small room.
Y/N nodded, her mind racing with the memories of the past.
“I’m sorry about Grace, Tom. She seemed like a good match for you. I’m glad you have Charlie though.” She said looking out the window.
“Do I still have a chance...Y/N?” He asked. Causing her to look away from the window.
His eyes stared at hers intently. Almost burning a hole through her as she gazed back.
“Well...all things considered...It seems like we’re staying here a while so that’s up to you as well. Are you going to see someone else?” She asked.
“No.” He said, walking over to her. He was inches from her as he spoke, his eyes hurt but still shining. His face more cut up and wrinkled in places than the last time she saw him. But one thing remained. His smile that he’d only shown for close family had appeared again. Making her cold heart melt at the sight.
“I’m not making that mistake again, Y/N.” He said, brushing a tear from her cheek.
“Do you promise?” She asked.
“On my life.” He said, before bringing her into a kiss.
When they pulled away, she heard Jane and Charlie playing, causing her to smile.
“I’ll have to visit Charlie more often, he’s a sweet boy.” She said.
“You won’t have to visit love. You can stay with us.” He said.
“Tommy...no I can’t do that...” She said.
“I promise you can. There’s more rooms in that house than I can keep up with and it would be nice to have someone I love besides Charlie walking around there again.” He said.
“Are you sure?” She asked.
“Yes.” He said.
Y/N sighed and nodded, pushing herself up on her toes slightly to kiss him again. The electric spark still there after all those years. It was like she’d never left, and this time, she planned on staying.
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Thomas Shelby Tag List:
(If you’d like to be added/removed just shoot me an ask!) :)
@msbzowy, @nofckingfighting, @aranoburns, @sighonahurricane, @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes, @gaytommyshelby, @wowjeena, @fifty-shadesof-tommyshelby, @inglourious-imagines, @thebloodyshelbys, @tsolomons, @blinder-secrets, @reveparade, @shelby-fanatic, @ta-ka-shi-ma, @psychkunox, @peakyxtommy, @captivatedbycillianmurphy,@dreamwastakenx, @lovemissyhoneybee, @thomashelbyswhore, @xxbeckybeexx-blog
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harrysgoldenbum · 4 years ago
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My Harry
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I should be working on my final english paper but my brain is refusing too. This is super unedited, and seeing that I wrote this at 2 am PST I don’t plan on it. I might develop this more... like detail and timeline wise —when it’s not super late and not finals week
Word count: IDK its a short fic though
Warnings: gentle smut? Not very detailed
Anyways I’m trying to get out of a visious loop of writers block so here you go :)
~~~
You are a boxer, and harry had to retire early in his career due to injury and since his leg has never been the same. The two of you met at the same training facility. As your life partner, he has always felt protective toward you regardless how much power your punches hold. For the last year or so your career has taken off and you are finally getting the recognition. since Harry retired, he became a part of your team and is now your trainer. But your last match was not a good match. that was the first time you were knocked out. You healed and moved on and are ready for the next match and to continue your training, but harry isn't. Not after watching you fall onto the mat. He can vividly see the way your body falling on to the mat. the way your eyes wouldn't open and how you body was limp. He remembers it all and most of all he remembers how hopeless he felt because there was nothing he could do. This took a toll on harry mentally and emotionally. He started having nightmares of not being able to help you. Or of how you were injured so badly you never woke up. And every time he would wake up crying and thrashing trying to get to you. And you would wake up with him, concerned. finally he told you that he couldn't watch you get hurt over and over again. because all he sees is the way you fell. how you had no control over your body. how you just we awake one second, then unconscious the next.
 "I love you, I love you so much and it hurts me to see how I couldn't do a single thing to make sure you were going to wake up again. I am not going to tell you to stop. But I can't watch.... I can't watch my soulmate-"
you beg him to work with you and to stick with you. He promises he would support you and nothing would ever stop him from loving you but he needs time. So, Harry's old coach starts training you. But it isn't the same as working with your husband. And since you started doing horrible in matches. Playing sloppy, looking for your man in the crowd. You were unfocused. Then one day, you receive a challenge. A challenge from the same fighter that knocked you out.
Harry didn't like seeing how you looked after each fight. How beaten you were. And you getting that challenge pushed him over the edge. As time had passed, he had changed. He became harder, distant, cold. And you missed him, you missed your husband. But that challenge brought him back into your team. He started training you again. But harder, meaner, for longer hours. He expected you to do better than the best. He expected you to fight through the pain and exhaustion. This continued for a month. And finally, finally you had enough. It was two days before your match and the two of up plus harry's former trainer were outside running. It was and the ground was slick. you slipped and landed on your ass. You stayed in the mud, exhausted. you hear harry sigh in disappointment. "Get up Y/N."
Having enough, "NO." you retaliate. 
"NO? You have the biggest match of your career in two days and you want to give up now?" Angrily, you rise and get in his face.
"I am not giving up, but I am done running, jumping, punching, and kicking for the next two days." You storm off and walk back home. By the time you get back Harry is waiting for you in the living room in his wet clothes. He stands by fire lit in the fireplace. The looks in his eyes are haunting. He opens to speak, but you beat him to it. "I want to spend the next days with you Harry. Not trainer Harry, not cold and distant Harry. I want to spend the next two days with my Harry. My husband Harry." You are standing in front of him determined to win this argument.
He releases a shaky breath and crushes his lips to yours. His hands run against your body urgently. desperately. your hands weave into his wet locks, you press your chest to his and kiss back just as fierce. the two of your struggle up the stairs only to fall ungracefully. You are hovering over him, refusing to loose contact with his lips. Your hands go to his wet shirt, pealing it off his body, throwing it over the railing it falls with a heavy sound. A hopeful moan falls from your lips. You guide his hands under your shirt, hoping he will take if off your body. And he doesn't disappoint.
He drags it off you slowly, and as your skin is exposed to him he presses a needy kiss against it. Once the top is over your head, he leans back to take you in. Grabbing your thighs, he gets up from the stairs and climbs up. He presses your back against the closed bedroom door. A desperate moan comes out from his chest. With your ankles locked against his ass, he lets go of you and peels the sports bra off your chest. His hands caress your perky tits. Your head falls back as he teases you nipple. Fumbling blindly your cry out in joy when you find the doorknob and are able to open the door. walking to the mattress, he gently places you on the soft sheets, not caring how wet and muddy the two of you are. He falls on top of you and kisses your swollen lips. He slowly travels lower and presses sweet kisses against your nipples. before moving lower and lower until he reaches the elastic band to your sweats. He hooks his fingers onto the elastic and he take the last articles of clothing off you. His jade green eyes are lit with fire has he gazes up at you. the his head dips down and his tongue is at your core. Giving you the best possible pleasure possible. He slurps, flicks, and sucks. Your hips come off the bed. Hooking his arms around your thighs, he anchors your to him and the bed. You come hard and fast. Harry presses kisses on your center. you guide him back up toward you. "I missed you," you whisper against his lips, tasting yourself on him.
"I missed you too. Missed you so much" He tells you back. Harry drops his head and presses baby soft kisses against your neck. He aligns himself to you and eases in slowly. It has been a while for the both of you. The last time the two of you were intimate was a couple months ago. Your muscles burn as he stretches you. Harry's jaw tightens as he tries to remain in control.
Once you are comfortable, and have gotten use to the feeling of him in you, roll your hips into his. Causing a groan to escape from both of you. Harry's eyes close for a moment taking in the pleasure of being in you again. Opening them he rocks into you slowly at first, then desperation takes over. His speed starts to pick up and you follow. It is hard, fast, almost savage like and you love every moment of it.
He pulls you up with him. you straddle him while he is on his knees thrusting into you. His forhead is pressed against your shoulder and Harry watches you take him. Your head is thrown back in pleasure. "Im close baby, so close. Come with me yeah?" Harry speaks against your skin. Your fingers dig into his shoulders and your entire body tightens. You scream his name and a few tears leak out from your eyes. You cling to him as he shoots his load onto you. Harry holds you tightly against him.
As the two of you slowly reenter your bodies, Harry falls forward. You land on your back, and he rolls off to your side. His arm under you head, while the other lays across your stomach. Your eyes start to shut and with a content sigh from the both of you, you whisper a soft and sweet "I love you" and drift off.
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My Works
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tag list: @romancenovelsandnetflix @berrynarrybanana @fromyourstrulyh @soullikestyles
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unadulteratedbeardpeanut · 4 years ago
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Bucky Drabble #3
Bucky x Pregnant!Reader (female)
A/N: Still haven’t got any further on my Uni essay, but I wrote this! This drabble came to me in the early hours of the morning and I ran with it. I honestly think this is the most I’ve written creatively at one sitting in my entire life (go me).
Warnings: Angst, Bucky is the Winter Soldier, so anything associated with that, but not super descriptive, sorta fluff? All the things associated with my writing, so poor writing, mediocre grammar, not beta read, not edited (I might fix that in future idk), Author herself is worth warning you about.
Word Count: 1394 (wow I surpassed 500 words; I even broke 1K!)
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It was still dark outside when you opened your eyes, the moonlight sneaking through the gap in the curtains. The urge to go to the bathroom to relieve your bladder was the catalyst for waking you from your slumber. Your left-hand slides across the sheets, reaching out for your husband in comfort, only to meet his empty and cold side of the bed.
‘Where is he?’ you thought. He wasn’t on a mission; he would have told you if he was leaving for one.
You push yourself up by your arms and shuffle towards the edge of the bed, feet meeting the cold floor before gliding into your fluffy slippers. You walk towards the ensuite bathroom to relieve your bladder, rubbing your bump along the way.
‘you sure like to play with mummy’s bladder little one. Let’s go find where your daddy has wandered off to once we’re done, hmm?’.
You were finished in the bathroom quickly, keen to find out where your husband had gone. You first checked his study that was a few doors down from your shared bedroom. Bucky hated doing paperwork and often shoved it to the back burner until he was forced to do it- so it was possible he had some that needed completed by the morning. That idea was soon shot down when you entered his study for it only to be just as empty as the rest of the upper floor of your house. Breathing a sigh through your nose as you turn around and make for the ground floor, opting to check the living room to see if he is watching TV- again not an unusual thing for Bucky to do during the middle of the night when sleep evades him. Unfortunately, he was not to be found in the lounge either, the couch not even having any signs of being disturbed.
There was only one other place in the house that he could be and that was the kitchen, ‘maybe he was peckish and decided to make himself as sandwich… and decided to stay there…’. Yeah, you weren’t even convincing yourself with that one. 
The kitchen was just as dark as the rest of the house when you entered, no signs of life to be found. Now that you were here you were just as well to make yourself something though, maybe said sandwich that Bucky ended up not making for himself. You flicked the light switch, the sudden brightness blinding you momentarily and causing you to close your eyes on reflex. Only when you open them you are met with the beautiful blue eyes of your husband, your Bucky. Except he is looking at you with a blank expression. No recognition passed through is blue orbs as he looks at you.
‘’Bu-Bucky? What are you doing down here? Why were you sitting here in the dark?’’
He makes no to move to answer your question; just continues to stare at you with his empty eyes. You walk closer to him, slowly and in trepidation.
‘’Bucky? Sweetheart, are you alright?’’
‘Again nothing. It’s as if the lights are on but no one is home. It as if- oh. Oh no. Oh no no no, not this.’
You stop dead in your tracks, an arms width away from your husband- the love of your life, the father of your unborn child. You close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, hands covering your bump both protectively and for comfort. You open your eyes again, feeling somewhat calm but equally dreading the next words to leave your mouth.
‘’Soldat?’’
His reply is instant. ‘’Ready to comply.’’
A quiet sob leaves your mouth at his words, grief overwhelming you. It felt as if your heart was following the same fate as the Titanic- sinking into a deep abyss of darkness; never to see the light of day again.  
You are lost for a few minutes in your grief, leaving yourself completely defenceless in his presence. However, the Winter Soldier makes no move. He just continues to sit there. Waiting. Waiting for his orders; for his next mission.  
Determination soon fills you, coupled with your unwavering love and desperation to get your Bucky back.
‘’Soldat, your orders are to go into the living room and sit on the sofa- the big one in the middle of the room- oh and please turn on the lamp just next to it too? I will join you shortly and give you your next orders.’’ Each word feels like acid as they leave your mouth, praying for Bucky’s forgiveness for doing this to him. The Soldier simply nods and- as silent as a panther stalking its prey- leaves the room, following his orders. You breathe a sigh of relief, rubbing your bump absentmindedly. You move forward to the counter and pull out all the necessary ingredients to make two sandwiches -Bucky’s favourite- and turn the kettle on. Hot chocolate and a sandwich, comforting food to try and help him remember himself. You would have liked to make proper hot chocolate- with warm milk rather than water- but you already have a long night ahead of you.
Putting everything on a tray (a baking tray that you have repurposed for the moment) once made, you turn and leave the kitchen, noticing the dim light leaving the living room as you walk.
He is sitting stiffly on the couch when you enter the room, his face and eyes staring directly forward and awaiting your next instructions.
Walking further into the room, you gently place the tray of goodies onto the coffee table before walking away towards the welsh dresser at the back of the room. You pull out a series of large folders and some journals, piling them on top of one another in your arms before shuffling your feet across the floor- struggling to keep a grasp of the deceivingly heavy pile. You place them onto the coffee table with much less grace than you did the tray, but the Soldier didn’t so much as spare you a glance during your fumbled movements.
‘Direct eye-contact and showing curiosity or interest in anything that wasn’t his orders got him in trouble before’. You remembered his words sadly. He didn’t like sharing what he had gone through with Hydra to anybody, but least of all you. He didn’t want to taint you with those ugly stories, instead sharing hundreds of others of him and Steve from when they were growing up and from his time as an Avenger- before he met you anyway. Stories that are now the key to bringing him back to you.
‘’Soldat, eat with me. And drink if you’re thirsty too.’’ You say gently, hoping that he will accept your orders despite holding no authority in your voice. He glances at you briefly before locking his eyes to the food on the tray, the movement so quick that you almost didn’t see it. He seems to look at the food warily, as if trying to figure out if it was poisonous. You lean forward and take one of the sandwiches, biting into it quickly in an attempt to show that it was safe to eat. He mimics your actions shortly after, not wanting to face his handler’s wrath for not complying with their strange orders.
A minute passes in silence between the two of you, as you try to figure out if this will work and how you’re going to bring him back if it doesn’t.
‘’Soldat, I’d like you to review some files with me. Please?’’
He seems to relax somewhat, your order being one that is more reminiscent of his past handler’s. You open the first folder, a vast array of black and white photos of a dark-haired boy with light eyes- the exact colour lost by the monochrome image.
‘’Soldat, this is a collection of photos. It is of the Barnes Family, specifically of James Buchanan Barnes.’’
The Soldier peruses the photos with confusion, his brow furrowed. This continues for hours, the night lost to photo albums and leatherbound journals, all detailing the long life of James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes. At the break of dawn, you hear the words the liberate you heart, cleansing all grief and cutting away the weights that held it down.
‘’Thank you for bringing me home, Doll.’’
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago
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warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.
updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!
I'm sorry in advance.
I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.
I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.
We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.
It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.
Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.
She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.
I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.
I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.
Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.
I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.
Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.
I'm so sorry.
I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.
I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.
I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.
Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.
When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.
I had to remind them it's summertime lol
Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.
I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.
I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.
You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).
Also... uh.
I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.
My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.
Not saying you should do it.
But I did.
If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.
--
some other experiences sent to me:
anon #1
I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need
anon #2
I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.
I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.
A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.
My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.
Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.
anon #3
I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:
Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.
If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet
I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.
Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!
Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!
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coldmetal25 · 3 years ago
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Prologue: Vault 33 A Fallout au for Camp Camp that no one asked for
A/N: Idk how to explain this story, just read it. Also I was just made aware that were already exists a fallout au for camp camp. So you know. Awesome. But anyways I spent too much time writing this please enjoy. 
A dim lamp shone in the darkness, illuminating the grey metal ceiling of their room. David stared into that greyness, anticipating what would come tomorrow. 
“Hey Davey?”, a quiet voice asked from the other side of the small bedroom.
“Yes Jasper?”, he replied.
“Can you sleep?”.
“Not at all. I can hardly wait for tomorrow”.
“Me too, tomorrow we can finally see the outside world and leave this metal hole in the ground”.
“Yea, but…”
“What is it Davey?”
“I’m gonna miss this place…”
“Really? Even Overseer Campbell?”
“Yea, he was like a father to me. Listen, all my life I only knew the vault. Sure we may have read all the old world wilderness magazines here but it’s not gonna be the same. It’s a completely different world out there. Are we really prepared for what’s out there? I mean those magazines were over 200 years old and everything is radiated now. Is the Capital Wasteland even real or just some rumour from Overseer Campbell?”
A silence filled the quaint room. It was like a thick sediment of air that laid down upon their chest before the creaking of Jasper’s bed shattered that silence. David turned his head to the left to be met with a pair of blue eyes that met his curious stare. With a gentle smile, Jasper reached his hand over to clasp David’s. The corners of David’s lips turned up as he turned to his side to properly face his friend.
“I guess we’ll find out tomorrow Davey. Get some sleep, wouldn’t be wanting to sleep while a deathclaw attacks us.”
“Okay, very funny Jasper, Good night.”
“Goodnight Davey, don’t let the mole rats bite”.
Jasper reached over to the lamp and turned it off, letting the darkness fill every corner of the room. 
***
Beep
Beep
Beep
Beep
David jolted awake with a glint of hope and joy in his green eyes. He pulled the covers off himself and nudged Jasper to wake up. 
“Jasper, wake up! Today’s the Day!”, he exclaimed with excitement and glee.
In response the very sleepy vault dweller murmured something about David getting ready and he’d get up in 5 minutes. The plucky redhead entered the bathroom, washing his face and brushing his teeth with cool water. It didn’t seem to hit him that this might be the last time he’d look in this mirror and wash his face. Far too focused on getting ready, he removed his pyjamas and put on his vault 33 jumpsuit. “Hmm, it seems a bit tight…”, he thought to himself. “Perhaps I’ll find better armour in the wasteland anyway”. He sat at the ledge of a bathtub to properly put on a new pair of leather boots he’d just gotten for this exact day. Getting up on his feet again, he stood in front of a mirror with a comb in his hands. A metal comb brushed through his ginger locks before he was finally satisfied with his look. He left the bathroom, noticing Jasper finally got up. A small smile was sent his way, so in return he sent one back before leaving the room to the storage room where they packed their supplies the day before.  
David flicked on the lights which lit up the dank large storage room. The room was filled with high shelves stocked with food, purified water, clothing and materials to upkeep the vault. Although strangely it seemed like supplies were shorter by the day. The tall shelves looming over you, and the darkness that would follow you when you ventured deeper unsettled his younger self but now it was the room where he’d make his final preparations for leaving the vault. He grabbed a knapsack filled with stimpacks, radaway, 10mm ammunition, and his 10mm pistol. He remembered how the overseer gave it to him on his 16th birthday. When he gave it to him, he told him, ”Here Davey, I know you and Jasper were planning to leave soon. Those pipe pistols probably won’t help you much out there so I pulled some strings and got you this 10mm. I know it’s no rifle but I hope you like it.”
His hand tightened around the handle before carefully placing it into a side pocket. He grabbed a couple of cans of water and a few packages of food, placing it into his bag. Before closing the bag, his eyes wandered to Jasper’s bag.  Out of curiosity he opened the bag and saw it already had everything they needed. However something caught his eye. A snub nosed revolver. He recognized it as the Overseer’s personal gun as the revolver had the initials “CC” carved into the handle. A tinge of jealousy and hurt overcame the red-headed boy before closing the knapsack. His arms fell to his sides as his hands squeezed into fists. 
“It’s fine David, today is not the day.  Who cares if the Overseer likes Jasper more than me, we’d be long gone in an hour…”, he assured himself, grabbing the two knapsacks and walking out the now dark storage room and into their shared bedroom. 
“Oh hey Davey, thanks for bringing my knapsack!”, Jasper thanked David as he walked into the room. He gave him a pained smile, trying to push down his envy into his stomach. 
“Yea no problem Jasper, no mole rats in there this time”, he joked.
“Oh God don’t remind me, that was the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I know! I’m all for nature but that was no beauty of nature for sure.”
 “No kidding.”, Jasper chuckled.
“So are you all set?”, David asked the brunette. 
“Hold on we can’t walk out into the wasteland with only our jumpsuits. I took the courtesy of buying us some pieces  of armour from the common area.”
“Wow that’s totally rad Jasper!”
“I know, Miss said she’d give me a discount since we were leaving. Anyway I got us some of the leather gear, you just put it around yourself and tighten it with the clasps. Unfortunately they didn’t have any chest pieces but I’m sure we’ll find something out there. Maybe even some power armour haha”, he said, handing over the armour. David took the leather gear and proceeded to equip it. Once all the pieces were on, David turned to Jasper and asked, “So… You ready to go?” 
“More than ever, let’s go”
***
The two boys stood in front of the entrance. Finally they’d see what’s behind that big gear door. A question they’d ask so often, it would annoy the living heck out of the caretakers who watched over the children. Behind them was a crowd of people dressed in those blue vault 33 jumpsuits and in front of all the people was Overseer Campbell. 
“Congratulations boys. Just…be careful out there.”, Mr. Campbell remarked.
“Thanks Mr. Campbell, we will be.”, David replied. With a curt smile they turned around and saw the great gear door begin to open, watching that 33 marking roll away behind the stone wall. Now there was a dark cavern staring back at them, waiting for, no, taunting  them to take their first step into the wasteland. They took a deep breath and started walking down the short hall of the entrance before finally stepping into the cave. A loud grinding was heard behind them with the door rolling back to close. 
“That’s it then, no going back.”, Jasper commented. 
For a moment they stood there observing this forgien sight. The only light came from their pip-boys but even that was too dark. The cave echoed nothingness with a drip of water disturbing the echo of the cave every now and again. David reached into his knapsack, gripping his pistol and pulling it out. Jasper followed, taking his 10mm out as well. David gave him a side glance thinking, “Why didn’t he take out his revolver? Should I ask?”
Before a word escaped his mouth, Jasper took the first step deeper into the cave. David wanted to follow but knees buckled at the anxiety inducing environment. Jasper, already ahead by a metre, turned around and reached out his hand. 
“Come on Davey, there’s nothing to be scared about.”
Jasper gave him a patient smile when David took his hand. They began to walk side by side in silence waiting for something to break the silence. 
Suddenly a high pitched squeak broke the eerie tranquillity of the cavern. Their heads shot up as they pulled their guns in front of themselves. Their hands unwinded with both of their hands on the pistols. David scanned the darkness, evaluating the source of the sound. When they heard it again, David saw it. It was a mole rat. He hastily aimed and shot twice at the putrid creature. One hit, one missed. It came at them with great speed before another bullet hit it and it was down. This shot came from Jasper’s gun. David looked at Jasper and he looked back. 
“Good shot Jasper! I guess you’ve always been a better shot than me…”, David commented. 
“Oh come on Davey don’t downgrade yourself, it was just a lucky shot.”
“Whatever you say, but you’re good with a gun.”
Jasper gushed, looking away and scratching his head. David giggled like a school girl from one of those cheesy school pre-war movies. He took a deep breath when they heard another squeak. 
“Maybe we should get going”, David suggested.
“Oh yea for sure.”
 They started to power walk ahead towards the light. The exit was so near, they could feel that sense of discovery in their bones. Close, closer, and closer. The light pierced through the dark cavern and the wind howled as it blew through the exit. They were right at the edge and then…
Sunlight. For the first time in his life David felt sunlight on his skin. It shone in his eyes so he raised his elbow. He could feel the wind blow through his red hair. No longer does he have to sit under artificial light to imagine it was the sun. No longer does he have to stand in front of the desk fan to replicate the wind blowing because now he was outside. He stood in the sun and basked in it’s warmth. With soil, not metal, beneath his feet. 
The land stretched out far and wide. Just down the hill where the cave lay, was a lake with a dock that looked as if it would give away at any moment. Around that lake which almost appeared dark green, bare trees were erected. Beyond the lake was a small town. It looked worn out but peaceful and quaint. David turned to Jasper who was still in awe of the world. 
“So this is it huh?”, Jasper said, “The wasteland. I never would have believed that this was what it was like.”
“I could hardly believe it myself”
“Yea, I honestly don't have any words. ”
“Neither do I…” 
The two boys took in the wasteland. All of it, so foreign but familiar. Exciting but terrifying. It was a brave new world that they would only begin to realise was now their new home. 
A/N: Oof just a heads up, next chapter is gonna be a time skip. This is just some foundation for the story. Also I’m probably not going to post it until like wayyyy later. It depends on my week. 
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malleux · 4 years ago
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Running with the Wolves [4]
masterlist ; << | >>
-> Pairing: Yuri Leclarc x Fem!Reader
-> Modern!Au | Gang!Au | Enemies to Friends to Lovers
-> Word Count: ~1.3k
-> Warnings: Cursing, Inappropriate Jokes
-> Summary: You were just a normal college student, trying to find her way in a new place. You didn't mean to get caught up in the wrong crowd. You just wanted coffee, but now you're running with the wolves.
a/n: i actually lost my taglist and idk if the people on the previous chapters still want to be on it! so please, please, please, if you were on the original taglist and still want to be notified- or if you’re new and want to be notified of new chapters- send me an ask, a message, or a reply! these are the only two i can remember who wanted to be on it.
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You were never a morning person. The idea of waking up before 9 was a nightmare to you- even 9 was a little too early for your liking.
When you woke up early for classes, you were grumpy. You had an attitude with everyone who approached you, even Ellie. Everyone knew not to mess with you in the mornings.
But here, standing in Yuri's bedroom at 7:30am, you had no place to get an attitude.
Hapi was knelt at the bedside, carefully helping her injured leader sit up. He winced slightly with every movement, obviously not wanting to show weakness in front of his teammates. Unfortunately for Yuri, though, his members weren't idiots. Even you could see the flinches and tight breaths that he harbored in his chest every time he had to move and quite frankly, it was pitiful.
Hiram's eyes hadn't left you from the moment you entered Yuri's room where they all had congregated. Hapi insisted on wrapping Yuri's bandage first to reach you what do you. You were thankful- you'd never played nurse before. Especially not to a gunshot wound.
The room was quiet. Tense. You could feel everyone's weariness as Yuri slowly laid back in the bed, once more hiding his pain. Hapi patted the blankets and stood up, facing you.
"If the wound starts bleeding again, reinforce it with some dry bandages. Don't take it off if it's not bleeding. If it is, don't take it off until it's done bleeding. Yuri's had enough wounds, unfortunately, so he can help you gauge those things. We cleaned the dirt and shit out last night, so you shouldn't have to worry too much about cleaning it. Just- don't run off again. Please."
You heard the exasperation in her voice and nodded. Rhys held his hand out to you- in it, a small flip phone. You took it cautiously, still not forgetting how the silent man sliced you yesterday, and fiddled with the piece of technology.
"It's a burner phone. We'll call you after visiting both the Blue Lions and Golden Deer to give an update. Afterwards, destroy it. If you need to contact us, there's one number in the contacts list. Text it and just say the code "9653". We'll call back on a public phone. Do not use any specific words that could give away anything. Be subtle in case someone's listening. I'm smart enough to figure out what you're saying." Hiram explained.
Sensing how you absolutely refused to look at, or even acknowledge, Hiram's presence, Hapi continued. "We're about to leave. This is your last chance to redeem yourself, so we hope that you'll make the right decision. Remember, Y/N, we're not going to hurt you."
You nodded, eyes flickering to Yuri's frame. He seemed almost child-like laying in the large king bed, his eyes half-lidded as he listened to his members speak. He met your gaze and you quickly looked away, watching as the Wolves filed out of the room.
Hapi placed her hand on your shoulder. "Yuri's a little difficult to get along with, but he has good intentions. Take care of him."
"Yeah!" Hiram cackled from the hallway, "Make it up to him. Make him some breakfast, give him some head- OW!"
Hapi shook her head. "There's plenty of food in the fridge. Don't order take-out, don't have any form of outside communication besides us. Don't go looking for your phone either, Hiram destroyed it."
"Wait- he what?!" You called out, but they were gone. The house was silent after Hapi had locked the doors completely. You turned to Yuri, who was still glaring at you. "Do you want breakfast?"
"I'd like to be with my team."
Your lips pulled into a tight line and you sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Alright, I'm sorry." When he quirked an eyebrow, you explained. "I- I didn't mean to shoot you. I was scared, and I meant for it to be just a warning shot. My hands were shaking and I didn't even aim. I didn't want to hit anyone."
Yuri stayed quiet, still analyzing your form as you played with your fingers. He looked rather cute, laying there with the soft comforter stopping just below his nose. Only his eyes and the top of his head peaked out, making him seem like a pouting child. A pouting child with a gun and years of combat experience, but a child nonetheless.
"I want pancakes."
☆ ☆ ☆
Hapi was right- there were an abundance of ingredients in the kitchen of the house, ready for you to use. But there was just one problem.
You had no clue how to make pancakes.
Flour, eggs, butter, and baking powder sat on the counter, untouched by your hands as you wracked your brain. You didn't have a phone to look up a recipe. Hiram would probably kill you if you used one of his computers. The flip phone was for emergencies only, and definitely didn't have any pancake recipes hidden in the notes section.
You sighed, deciding to grab a few measuring cups. Then, you stared at the ingredients again. While lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice a certain purple-haired asshole limping into the kitchen and plopping himself down at the table. He watched you for a moment.
"You know you actually have to cook, right? Pancakes don't just make themselves while you watch."
"Fuck-" You jumped and whipped around, the measuring cup flying out of your grip and landing on the floor. "What are you doing up? You need to be resting."
"Do you even know how to make pancakes?"
Your eye twitched. He was ignoring your questions. "I- Of course I do! Now go back to bed before your wound reopens. How did you even get up, anyways? Not even twenty minutes ago you were struggling to sit up."
"I'm a miracle boy. Now, make pancakes."
You huffed and faced your mess again. In a wild guess, you grabbed the measuring cup once more and reached for the milk carton. Two cups should be okay, right?
"You're doing liquids first? Interesting. That's not how my mother taught."
"Then tell me, Yuri, how did your mother make pancakes?" You seethed through your teeth.
The man only grinned and leaned his cheek against his palm. "I'm glad you asked. There's no harm in admitting you're clueless. First, do the dry ingredients. Flour, baking powder, all of that."
You're a dry ingredient, you bit back from saying. Yuri might not be in good shape to fight if you launched yourself at him from across the kitchen, but you didn't miss the glint of the handgun that rested against his hip. The same one you had used to shoot him.
“Now put in the eggs and milk and shit.” Yuri gave you more measurements and ingredients and soon enough, you had pancakes on a plate and were serving them to the charity case that sat across from you at the table. He was quiet as he ate, and to you the tense silence was unbearable. You had to break it.
“These are good- you said your mom taught you how to make them like this? What was she like?” You flinched at the look Yuri gave you, immediately regretting asking.
“She was the one person in my life who I could just be myself around. Not Yuri, the leader of the Ashen Wolves, not Yuri, the man who’s killed more than his members combined, just Yuri, her son. My mom was the best woman to ever exist.” He spoke intensely, and you could see just how much he loved her.
“Was?”
“She- she’s missing.” Yuri closed his eyes and placed his fork down, standing up. “I’m going back to bed. Uh, thanks.”
You nodded and began gathering the plates together, bringing them to the sink to wash them. You were fully aware that Yuri had stopped in the doorway and was observing you as you cleaned. He cleared his throat.
“And Y/N. Just so you know, none of us chose this life. We’re all in the Wolves for a reason. We’ve all got our own goals and plans. Don’t be quick to judge.”
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taglist: @dimitrimidim @emperor-pizza
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ayoitsnic · 4 years ago
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Crowley x Reader x Lucifer
Part 1
*Based loosely around 12x15 but Ramsey kills Gwen and gets away
Word Count: 2.6k
Trigger Warnings: Injured animal? Idk? If you think something should be added to the TW list drop a comment or DM me
Summary: Humans aren’t supposed to see hellhounds, so what happens when y/n finds an injured hellhound and brings it home to care for? 
*Disclaimer* Lucifer will be introduced in the 2nd part which should be up by Saturday 4/3/2021
It was almost midnight when y/n got off of work. She was exhausted after her shift at Regional West Medical Center in Nebraska. As she trudged through the parking lot to her old, beat up 2002 Suzuki she couldn’t help but feel eyes on her, like something was watching her from out in the darkness. Fumbling with her keys she turned to unlock the driver’s side car door (The remote to unlock the door was broken. The car could only be opened with the actual key.), only to freeze in place when she felt the hot breath and heard the heavy breathing of some sort of animal behind her. “Dear god, please let it be my overactive imagination.” she prayed silently, knowing it was no use. Whatever stood behind her was very much real.
Very slowly she turned to face whatever it was that was sniffing her, her keys moving between her middle and ring finger in case she needed to defend herself. Instead of being met with what she thought for sure would be a small bear or a rabid coyote, she was met with a very large dog. A very large dog that looked like it had been through absolute hell. Its fur was matted and caked with dried mud and dirt, and it was covered with cuts and what she naturally assumed was its own blood. It was hard to tell through the thick, matted fur but it also looked very underweight. “Oh you poor baby….” Y/n’s heart melted upon seeing the creature.
Obviously the dog had been out on its own for a very long time. Y/N took pity on it. It seemed so sad, and it didn’t appear rabid or vicious. It looked like it just wanted help. Reluctantly she reached down to check for a collar. There was a collar but it was in a foreign language. One she’d never seen before. Unlocking the back of the car she coaxed the dog in with some leftover food she had from her lunch break. She knew the poor thing must be starving. Being hurt it took a little help getting in. Little did she know how dangerous that dog really was or that there was a man out right now searching for it.
The K-9, which y/n decided to call (Dog’s name) had fallen asleep on the car ride home, snoring softly over the radio that was playing some Green Day song. Pulling into the driveway, (Y/N) stopped the car and turned off the radio. Almost on queue (dog’s name) looked up to see where they were. A light was on outside, illuminating a large porch (Which could probably use a new paint job, if we’re being honest) with 2 rocking chairs, a small table and a plethora of healthy, brightly colored plants. She picked up the injured dog and carried it inside, planning on taking it to the vet in the morning to see if it was microchipped.
She was going to let the dog sleep in the basement for the night, unsure if it would destroy the house or not. She remembered her aunt’s German Shepherd who took pleasure in tearing up sofas, and eating her plants. The dog also really needed a bath and she didn’t want it on the furniture until it got one. Unfortunately around 3:30 am, y/n felt a dip in the bed and then something making itself comfy by her feet. Looking over, she found the dog curled up in bed with her. Way too tired to deal with it now, and knowing she had to wash the sheets anyway she just fell back asleep let the dog stay with her so long as it stayed at the foot of the bed.
~
The next morning, Y/N got up early to go to the pet store and get stuff for the dog. She called up the local vet, making an appointment, she washed the sheets, and most importantly she began trying to wash (Dog’s name). At first the dog resisted, wanting absolutely nothing to do with the water. Y/N knew exactly how to deal with this though. Placing a glob of peanut butter on the side of the tub to keep the dog preoccupied, (Dog’s name) happily entered the bathtub. A trick y/n had learned from that aunt with the poorly behaved German Shepherd. By the time y/n was done with the dog she’d had to drain and refill the tub 3 times before she gave up and kept it drained, just using the shower head. She couldn’t believe how much blood and dirt had come off this dog.
Around 2pm the doorbell rang and this dog who was once so sweet, albeit a bit skittish turned into an absolute beast. Running to the door, loud deep barks and growls left it. The dog seemed ready to tear the stranger on the other side of the door to shreds. It was almost like it had turned into a completely different dog. “(Dog’s name)!!!” Y/n shouted as she raced down the stairs after it, hoping to get to the door before the dog did. “NO!!!” She yelled. Even hurt and underweight, (Dog’s name) was really big. If it wanted to break that door, it probably could. Without thinking, Y/n quickly grabbed the dog by the collar to stop it. “I said no!” She told her firmly with a pointed finger. The dog whined, tail between its legs as it hurried back up the stairs to the bedroom to do that thing dogs do when they roll around on the rug to dry themselves.
The front door had a glass window looking out so y/n could see the stranger. He was short, and wore a nice suit. He seemed only slightly concerned about the interaction. The man didn’t even flinch as the massive hound lunged itself at him. It seemed like this was a normal day for him. Actually, he seemed more unnerved after she called the dog off. Opening the door, y/n apologized profusely for the dog “I am so sorry about the dog! I-” Before she could continue, the man squinted at her, clearly confused about something. “What are you?” He questioned in an English accent.
“Hellhounds? Really?” She questioned with a quirked eyebrow and a small grin, crossing her arms and constantly turning to keep facing the man. It was obvious she didn’t believe him.
Obviously his question confused y/n as she gave him a look of confusion back “What do you mean ’what are you?’” She stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her “I'm human”
“Yes, really.” The man continued, as serious as a heart attack “You especially shouldn’t be able to control that bitch. I’ve only ever known one person to be able to control Ramsey and you and not that person.”
“Oh really? And who might that person be then?” Y/n asked, beginning to think this was some elaborate prank being played on her by a friend or coworker.
Remembering what the demon said about her being able to control the hound, y/n gave it a shot. Raising a hand she firmly commanded “Ramsey stay.” Not only did the dog stop dead in her tracks, she laid down and waited for further orders. Now most people would be a little freaked out by this; finding a hellhound that they didn't know was a hellhound, and now being visited by a demon sent to collect said hound. Y/n however wasn’t afraid. Actually she kind of got a Déjà vu feeling at this.
“No you can’t be. Humans can’t see hellhounds, much less control them.” Normally Crowley would just collect the demonic hound and leave, with humans being none the wiser that the rogue canine was even there, but not only did this woman know the hellhound was there, she was taking pretty good care of it. Even stranger, the dog was letting her care for it. There was something different about this woman, something special. He just wasn’t sure what it was yet. Crowley circled y/n, inspecting her. He was trying to find any indication of her not being human.
“Lucifer.” Crowley responded
At that, y/n was done. “Look pal, I don’t know what kind of kool-aid you’re drinking but I’m not buying it. Now’s the part where I tell you to get off my property.” she turned to go back inside, closing and locking the door behind her. As she turned to head upstairs though, Crowley was standing right behind her, his eyes red. She let out a screech, jumping as far back as she could (Which wasn’t far as the door was right behind her). Again, the dog that the demon in front of her called ‘Ramsey’ came running to her defense.
~
“The name’s Crowley. King of hell.” He introduced himself “May I ask who you are?”
“Y/n y/l/n.” she responded before telling him “Queen of this house.” This was crazy. Y/n was standing in her entryway conversing with a demon king. “Could I offer you tea ‘your highness’? Maybe Coffee?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she addressed Crowley as 'your highness' She wasn’t gonna hand over the dog so easily, and something told her the demon wouldn’t be leaving without Ramsey.
“.....Who are you?” Y/n asked the man
Y/n and Crowley sat in her kitchen, sipping tea and chatting. “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” The demon who sat across from y/n questioned “Most people would run, or beg for mercy if a demon showed up at their doorstep. Not invite them in for a drink.”
~
If it weren’t for the fact that y/n could sick Cujo on him at any moment, Crowley wouldn’t be being so patient with her. He wouldn’t be trying to convince her to send the dog to her death. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you take that dog back.” Y/n told Crowley. For some reason she felt bonded to that dog, with the overwhelming need to protect her.
“I’m afraid I must insist. She’s dangerous and unpredictable. It’s for the best that she be put down. She’s killed a lot of people who weren’t on hell’s hit list while she was topside.” Crowley explained “A pup like that out and about isn't good for business. It makes it look like I’m not in control.”
“Do you want me to beg for mercy?” Y/n asked with a smirk and a small, dry chuckle. “Sorry but you’re not very scary so forgive me if I’m quaking in my shoes.” She would never be seen begging for mercy. Not in a million years.
“I thought you were the king down there.” Y/n questioned “A king answers to no one. You could turn, walk right out that front door, and pretend she vanished. That you weren't able to find her. Or you could go back and tell your people she attacked you and you killed her. Besides, you’re a demon. You don’t really care about the people she’s killed, do you?” Y/n definitely cared and felt bad, she just didn’t believe Crowley did.
“The Winchester’s. They hunt monsters. Vampire’s, werewolves, demonkind, et cetera.” Crowley explained “They’re ruthless, and if they find out that dog is here they will show up and kill her. Painfully. If you hand her over I promise her death will be a painless and merciful one.” Of course he would make the boys sound worse than they were. In reality they’d kill it as quick as possible if they could. He’d say anything to get her to give up Ramsey. 
“Of course I don’t, but some hunters I know care a lot about the people that were killed. If I don’t collect this dog, they’ll come and collect her for me and they’ll be far less inclined to sit and chat over hot beverages.” Crowley explained
“Tell me about these hunters.” Y/n asked, genuinely interested. "I assume you're not referring to people who shoot buck in their free time."
“Let them come.” Y/n spoke after quietly mulling over what was just told to her. Whether she was underestimating these hunters or just didn’t believe what Crowley was telling her he was unsure. “She may be in a weakened state now but she’ll get better. She’ll get stronger and when she does I’ll be the only one who can stop her. If they show up, I’ll be ready and they’ll have to go through me. When they get through me, she’ll be ready for them too.”
“Y/n I know you think-” Y/n cut off the demon king, her patience wearing thin. She had all the leverage she needed in this situation and she knew it “You said I was the only one who could control her. Now I don’t know how or why that is, but that means there’s nothing stopping me from sicking the dog on you. If she really is as vicious and dangerous as you claim she is, I would be afraid of the one person who can send her after you. I’m telling you to walk away. I’m giving you an out. I strongly suggest you take it.”
Thinking about it later though, she was actually kind of sexy. She knew she held the power and the leverage in that situation and she knew how to use it. Not only that but she was bold enough to try and intimidate not just any king, but the King of Hell. And she didn’t need to raise her voice once while doing it. She was clearly a strong, intelligent, woman. He liked that.
~
After he was gone, y/n was in fact a little freaked out. If there was a hell that meant there was a heaven. Would she be going to hell just for harboring this animal? And better question; how do you even properly care for a hellhound? She imagined it would be a lot different from taking care of your average, run of the mill Pitbull.
Crowley stood his ground, calling her bluff. He didn’t believe she would actually do it. “Ramsey!” Y/n called “Ramsey c’mere girl!” she whistled as the Hellhound came barreling from upstairs “Ramsey, hurry up! Go get him! Get the demon!” Y/n told Ramsey in the same sickeningly sweet baby voice most humans use to talk to animals they find cute. Before she could get to him though, Crowley had disappeared into thin air.
After hours spent searching on the internet y/n got her first lead. Okay so it wasn’t really a lead. It was more of an idea. It’s not like she could just log onto wikipedia and pull up a page on 'How to take care of a Hellhound'. She did however find instructions for summoning and trapping a crossroads demon. She didn’t realize there were different types of demons but to her, a crossroads demon was still a demon so good enough right?
Late that night y/n put Ramsey in the car with her and drove to the nearest crossroads. Spray painting a ‘devils trap’ in the road she buried a box in the center. It contained a photo of her, some graveyard dirt, and the bone of a black cat. No, she didn’t go out and kill a cat. She was able to get that from a wiccan shop on the outskirts of town.
After burying the box, she stood and read the incantation she had written on a scrap of paper “Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae!” She waited a moment and when nothing happened she thought she might've gotten a word wrong. That was until she heard a woman speak behind her “What can I do for you tonight?”
Jumping a bit she turned to face the demon. “I just need some information.”
.....To be continued....
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