#idk I know people have unique experiences with their transness

[sci-twi]

So my partner and I created some fan-parents for Sonic. He has a dad and a parent. Sonic was created lab-baby style and thus some dormant genetics regarding his brighter color and eyes came through. He was also born with female characteristics. They were not expecting him to have super-speed either as neither of them possess such abilities.

More under the cut.

His father, Dwight, has lightning powers that he will later display and unlock via Frontiers. Ja’ni, his parent, can control and create ether which is the substance through which all life and matter exist and it comes through as star and space-like abilities which lends to Sonic’s future fascination with stars, space, and similar.

Dwight has always been a very cutthroat man, ever since his parents were murdered by GUN-like wannabes for simply being super-powered Mobians- something that the humans never were fond of.

However, his resentment and rage goes unchecked and starts to bleed into how he intends to raise Sonic. He reveals plans to Ja’ni about growing the child into being a sort of super-soldier and leading a resistance against the humans. He wishes for Sonic to be his legacy and to assist him in carrying out his plans to wipe humanity off the face of Mobius and take back their planet. He wants to protect Sonic and his family.

Ja’ni only wishes for Sonic to be a kid and not have to worry about starting a war that he never chose to be a part of. After trying to change Dwight’s mind and failing countless of times, Ja’ni makes a difficult decision.

In the dead of night, Ja’ni ends up stealing Sonic away, traveling across several dimensions, and surrendering him to a group of owls, one of which is Longclaw, to be raised into a happy life away from the hardships and conditioning he would have faced. In this dimension, Longclaw is not killed.

Ja’ni sticks around in the dimension, but takes care to never interfere with Sonic’s life, only keeping tabs on him to make sure he’s… alive. And Sonic seems all the better for it. He’s made a lot of friends, is a world-renowned hero, plus, he’s trans, so that’s cool! Good for him!

But there may come a day where they are all reunited. Especially, when a certain father discovers the dimension where his son has been taken to. However, things are not quite as they were before and that has its own unique challenges.

[genderqueerdykes]

ik there's a lot of examples of why transandrophobia is "valid/real" and whatever. but I think one that stands out to me is when people make comments like "men shouldn't rest or feel safe until menstruation products are free/men have 0 say in any laws surrounding uteruses/men can't ever know what it's like to be a *insert traumatic experience commonly happening to young girls*" and stuff of the like. just conversations that ignore a large portion of the tmen/masc communities existence (and probably some intersex folk too yh?? and enbies who are like man-aligned or js like. yeah transandrophobia effects a lot of ppl) and experiences and I'm like. so what word do I use to describe this? "just use transphobia" what if I want a word to describe my unique experiences for once that isn't an incredibly broad one for the whole community?? Maybe I want one that quickly describes this unique forgeting tmen exist completely js so you can angrily yell at men without repercussions.

what if I'm sick of yelling "transphobia!" just to be told "oh... no I'm talking about CIS men" as if I'm not actually a man, that cis men are more man than I will ever be and like this is a good thing. or being told I'm being hostile and are proof testosterone makes you evil. what do I call it then. you can't separate the man from trans, I'm a TRANS. MAN. and I deserve a word to describe the things I've experienced just like transfems and transwomen and nonbinary people without being told I'm "speaking over anyone"

idk, food for thought maybe infighting and attacking your own community isn't the way forward. maybe hating men, trans or not, will never be the liberating progressive feminist movement you think it is. maybe just maybe hate is not something you're immune to just because you're hated. maybe we all need to calm the fuck down and revaluate some shit and process our own bigotry /nay

this is a great ask, thanks for taking the time to send this, i appreciate you for telling your story and giving feedback. this is the exact reason i made a post a few days ago about how we have to stop holding back on having genuine conversations about queer experiences and the diversity and struggles transness bring. no trans person has it easy. none. we all suffer because cisheteronormative patriarchy hates the concept of transness. it hates trans men and mascs too

just conversations that ignore a large portion of the tmen/masc communities existence (and probably some intersex folk too yh?? and enbies who are like man-aligned or js like. yeah transandrophobia effects a lot of ppl) and experiences and I'm like. so what word do I use to describe this? "just use transphobia" what if I want a word to describe my unique experiences for once that isn't an incredibly broad one for the whole community?? Maybe I want one that quickly describes this unique forgeting tmen exist completely js so you can angrily yell at men without repercussions.

This entire line of thinking has been so pointlessly rude for no reason this entire time. This is legitimately one of the dumbest, pettiest things I have ever seen in my life and I'm saying it like it is: trans women and transfems do not own the concept of having a specific kind of oppression when it comes to transness. Whether or not you want to accept that trans men are also oppressed under patriarchy isn't our business. But it's the truth. And getting upset because transmascs and men wanted to coin "transandrophobia," what exactly is that solving? Genuinely how is that talking over trans women.

what if I'm sick of yelling "transphobia!" just to be told "oh... no I'm talking about CIS men" as if I'm not actually a man, that cis men are more man than I will ever be and like this is a good thing. or being told I'm being hostile and are proof testosterone makes you evil. what do I call it then. you can't separate the man from trans, I'm a TRANS. MAN. and I deserve a word to describe the things I've experienced just like transfems and transwomen and nonbinary people without being told I'm "speaking over anyone"

Absolutely, you and every other transmasc and trans man and related person deserve to be able to discuss your struggles and experiences. Let's have an honest conversation about it for once. Creating a term, and thus a space and forum where people can go to to have a conversation, share experiences and identify with one another means that there is now a dedicated space to having that conversation. That space is not built directly on top of transfem and trans woman spaces. It is built beside it, laterally. This means that if people want to talk about the specific forms of transphobia trans men, transmascs, and some intersex, nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid, bigender, agender and other queer people, there is a specific space to do it, reducing the amount of people who are in specifically transfeminine spaces talking about struggles that are not the same.

Having different terms is a very good thing because it means that people who share the same experiences can come together. This means that trans men and mascs now have a place to talk that lowers the chances of them accidentally or even intentally talking over trans women and transfems. This has never been a bad thing. It's a good thing. If transfems and women get to make specific spaces for ourselves, so are transmascs and trans men. They don't have to "just use transphobia". What they're experiencing is unique to them and you don't have the right to tell them what they are and are not experiencing.

If you as a trans woman or transfem do not want to hear about how transmascs and trans men have it, please feel free to go to spaces that are focused around transfems and trans women where you can talk about the similar experiences you have. Don't take our space away from us just because you don't want to listen, though. Trans men still deserve to be able to talk. You don't have to shut up trans men in order for trans women to be heard.

[tirfpikachu]

hi transfem here !!! to me the way u talk abt transfems and trans women is gross and upsetting . i wish i could perfectly word it and im sure uve developed ur whole deal over years but like . can u not talk about us like that . "males" "anti-transfem oppression" like idek what to say . i transitioned when i was a kid and have spent like more than half my life out and its like ur worldview is just like . completely separated from the transfem experience and transfeminism . u seem to be really really comfortable assuming huge things abt the way transfem ppl are viewed and the lives we live and if i had the patience id explain myself better but its just nasty!!!!!!!!!!!! stop associating us with cis men !!!!! we are not male !!!

uh okay.

some thoughts:

"anti-transfem oppression" is literally the most harmless way to phrase this ?? anti-transmasc oppression is a thing and so is anti-transfem oppression. i'm LITERALLY talking about you having unique struggles that ARE worth talking about. i think you're just too deep in dysphoria to think clearly about it, and i used to be there so i know how debilitating it can be and how it can get in the way of any meaningful sociopolitical discussions. but really girl, i'm getting death threats all the time from just talking about issues that affect transfemmes and not calling y'all "moids" or "male predators" with a wide brush.

"males" - idk where i said this, but i tend to always say "male/omab people" instead. i'm not a fan of the noun thing, including saying "females" which just reminds me of the creepy quark from ds9. the only time i'd ever say "males" is if someone was a huge fucking predator or some insane misogynist. people who were raised not facing misogyny can often turn out misogynist, unfortunately, and that sadly can include some transitioning trans women and transfem nonbinary people that i have met. even then, it's pretty rare i'll just say "males" out of the blue. i have quite a few lovely transfem friends who showed me it's not all transfems.

male just means you were born with a dick (most likely) and grew up not facing misogyny (typically, unless you're intersex). that does radically affect your behavior, as much as it can suck dysphoria-wise. the sexual threats i have gotten from penis-having transfems shows that there CAN still 1000% be a power imbalance between those born with dicks and those born with vulvas. beside the whole impregnation (consensual or not) power and other sexual issues between those who have something to insert and feel genital pleasure doing so, and those with a more vulnerable body. menstrual issues also do not affect you. you still face your OWN form of often horrific oppression, but ofab/female people have a right to talk about our issues and hold y'all accountable.

you can still be a woman and be omab/male. you can still live your life as your truest self. but being proud of being transfem inherently means being proud of being omab/male and gnc. avoiding that simple fact means being ashamed of your transness, and i don't think any trans person should be ashamed of being trans or downplay it in their head. society already tries hard enough to shame you as it is. older trans people, including older trans women, were more likely to identify openly and unabashedly as male people living as women and i think that's MUCH more badass. i have had a fantastic time learning from older transfemmes because they tend to be better allies to ofab/female people, and they tend to have more inner confidence in their transfemininity because they have actually come to terms with it.

you are not a man to me. transmasc people who don't identify as women are not women to me, though there are situations where the specifics of that person's life - whether they live their life perceived as a man or as a woman, or a mix of both - matter. you are both your own category in my mind. i will hold transfems accountable to be an ally in issues you are not harmed by, just like i think we should hold cis/bio women and transmasc people accountable for any kind of anti-transfem/transmisogyny bigotry we don't face (or face conditionally, for transitioned transmascs) and have us learn about your story and learn how to protect you in situations where you may risk being hurt, so long as you do the same with us. you can never change your sex, and that's okay - you might change your sex characteristics to a degree that it'd be ridiculous to say you're anything like a cis dude, or even if you don't transition i still celebrate you being gnc and will call you whatever suits you, and embrace you in my community. we have many transfemmes in the nuancefem community and they bring a lot of super fascinating and very important nuance to the table.

i am not your enemy. i am just bringing some truths to the table that might be hard to swallow. we can still be sisters if you so choose in the future. neither of us should accept any bullshit or watered down allyship from the other side. you just need to come to terms with these facts for equal allyship to actually happen in the lgbtq community and feminist community. this should not threaten your inner sense of self - no one should ever take that away from you. your existence isn't lesser, it's not a mistake. it's okay that dysphoria makes it really fucking hard to accept that you share physical characteristics and upbringing experiences with cis men. i suggest you reach out to nuancefem trans women! their level of confidence in exactly who and what they are is much more authentic than any other transfem community i've ever met and they bring powerful hot takes to feminist discussions while showing REAL allyship to others who are marginalized by the patriarchy in a different way than they are.

[ezradogteeth]

You seem so unselfconscious and joyful in ur gender experience/expression.. how'd u get there? I feel so self conscious making any sort of gender affirming changes bc I don't want people to see, which seems kinda contradictory bc isn't the point of gender expression that people see it. Idk. How do u manage to be so genuine and know urself so well? Or is that just the side we see here<3

2/2 Also sorry lol I know u get a lot of gender asks prolly but it's cuz ur full hearted gender journey is so aspirational/ inspiring (to me) :,]

i think how i got to where i'm at with my gender joy can be broken down into 4 rough factors:

access to medical transition & choosing to do it

growing older and having been trans for longer

internal changes in my mindset

community and loved ones!

to elaborate, 1. it's so so so difficult to feel pride in your identity if it brings you pain. like i've always felt joy and pride in my queer sexuality because it has brought me the joy of queer love, but for a long long time i just wished i wasnt trans because it had only ever made me miserable. i was a teenager, and public trans visibility was very small compared to today, and no matter what i did i could never pass. the few years (age 16-18) leading up to when i started hrt were especially excruciating. i didn't even consider going on T until i was 18 because i'm nonbinary and hadn't heard about nonbinary people going on T until i saw the artist chella man around then. it was super difficult to decide to go on T because i was so uncertain and afraid of permanently altering my body and i didn't know anyone else on T. i decided i needed to try it and if i regretted it down the line then i'd deal with it then. my relationship to my gender immediately improved, it was so insane i was so stoked to have a gender and be exploring it. i was feeling genuine unfettered euphoria for the first time. i'd had small doses before from wearing a binder and changing my name etc, but it was always overshadowed by my greater discomfort. but now i was like YIPPEEEEE i can be a boy WOOO and then i got top surgery which was the ultimate act of reclamation of the self and the body and brought unimaginable joy because for the first time in my life i felt completely congruent with how i wanted my ideal self to be.

2. honestly it's just like every other aspect of your unique personhood, you get more comfortable with it the longer you live with it. i understand myself better over time, i know what i like and what i want and how to get it, i have more practical autonomy and sense of self. acceptance takes time :-) i had a lot of years of misery and uncertainty before this

3 & 4 are super intertwined - i've accepted the "you can do whatever you want forever" and "transness is sexy and epic" mindsets because i've been lucky enough to be surrounded by beautiful diverse trans and gnc people. being in love with other trans people has been holy and made me feel desirable and celebrated For my transness not in spite of it (thank you trans women), which has been integral to my love of my gender. having space to be myself exactly as i want to be and being surrounded by people who will see me as i want to be seen has been crucial.

honestly at the moment i'm in the best place i've ever been with gender stuff and it's largely because i moved to a place with a lot of trans people and i feel normal and beautiful and strong because i have a place among such a spirited and resilient community where i am valued (thank you trans women). when i was living in italy i was internally confident in myself but externally meek and hated how different i was from literally everyone around me. gave me brain damage.

but there is still an unspeakable isolation i have as a genderfluid person, where even when nothing about me externally has changed, i will be a boy or a girl or etc on a given day, and it is still a process for me to accept that i can simply Be the gender i am at any point, i don't have to justify it to myself or anyone else, i can just know for a fact that i am what i am.

ummm so yeah in conclusion i'm this way because ive been immensely lucky to have the resources to transition and have people around me support and inspire me to do so. it does also take some internal courage, you have to choose self-acceptance and take steps forward even when it's difficult, for example with transition stuff that people will see, i also have felt uncomfortable with the public nature of it, esp when i was first starting hrt, and changing my name, both stuff that took a lot of simmering in discomfort.

overall my advice is to take your time and don't be afraid. build connections with other trans people however you can, read about our history and participate in our present moment.

and as a last note, yes, there is always some disconnect between how i am on here and how i am irl, its unavoidable. im sure i come across as more solid and put together, i am more erratic and messy and uncertain and complicated, but everything i say here is genuine for sure, just cant encapsulate personhood into a blog. its also really hard to question your identity publicly. i always post after im more sure of myself so i can be confident - i wasn't posting my intense back-and-forth about starting T, i was posting about how much i loved being on T after i'd made my choice; i still dont post about my regrets and drawbacks from having top surgery, though i do intend to, its just difficult to be nuanced in this format.

thank you for your message i hope something here has been helpful your words were very very kind and i appreciated them, let me know if you want to know more about anything ive said here since its all pretty surface level !!

[thotbugatti]

A Love Letter to Twitter

This is going to sound really stupid but I’m prepared for that. Are you? I have been on twitter in many forms since the beginning of 2014. That’s almost 9 years. Over that time, I have made countless connections, discovered unbelievable content creators and comedians; learned a lot about the world and myself. Because of twitter, I’ve been able to become the person I am now.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I, along with probably many other people, really struggled with my sense of gender identity as well as sexuality. I wasn’t going to school, wasn’t going to work; I was stuck in isolation with nothing but drowning thoughts of who and what I might be. At first, I thought I was non binary. That didn’t fit. Could I have been trans? Yes, actually, that’s exactly what it was. Suddenly, my world opened up even more. I was finding trans people on YouTube first, then I discovered an intricate community of other trans women on Twitter. Connecting my experiences with them and realizing more and more that many of the things they experienced were also things I experienced with or struggled with, that really did something for me. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone. All thanks to twitter.

On one hand, it might seem so silly to be upset about the loss of something so trivial as twitter, yet I am. Many others probably are as well but don’t want to admit that. I do. When you lose something that has been part of your life for so long, you’re bound to. If it does indeed die, I am going to miss it so much. I’m going to miss the people tho, not the platform itself. For all intents and purposes, twitter is a house of popsicle sticks held together by rubber bands and stick glue. I think had Elon Musk never even stuck his toes into purchasing twitter, we might have it for many years to come. But he did, and here we are. I’m going to miss the people. I love so dearly being able to connect with others from all over the world in a way that doesn’t feel so unbelievably one sided. With something like TikTok or Instagram, something that isn’t almost entirely text based, it feels as though you’re not interacting with a person. It feels more as if you’re interacting with the vision of a person. It’s worse with YouTube and TikTok, where there are, more than likely, billions of hours of videos that you end up just endlessly watching and scrolling past. Even with tumblr, while I am having fun with it, I feel it’s so hard to find exactly what I want to see, to find the people who I want to follow. I’m not sure how it is on the webpage, but the for you tab on this app just doesn’t seem to work. Things that were there last week still permeate at the very top. I want to be able to scroll, I want to be able to read what people are saying, I want to be able to find the most up to date news. I feel that that is a very uniquely twitter experience, and we’ll likely never see anything like it again. That’s very sad to me.

Transness is a very isolating and lonely experience. You might run across a trans person in real life, but it’s not a common thing. Even if you did, how likely are you to actually talk to them? Ultimately, you probably end up walking right past each other, maybe sharing a glance or a small smile, but nothing more. You’ll probably never see them again. This is my experience living in a very rural area. My high school had one trans person (not including myself because I didn’t know at the time). I often think about her, wondering how she managed to do it. If you live in a city like Chicago, New York, LA, San Francisco, wherever, you’ll come across more trans people to be sure. If you’re still in college, same situation. For many of us who aren’t in school anymore or live in the middle of nowhere, we aren’t very common. Twitter. Twitter opens up that world for many of us (or tumblr idk ymmv).

There’s part of me that still believes that twitter won’t die. Elon Musk will sell it off before he crashes and burns because, at the end of the day, he cares more about his money and his ego than he does anything else. There’s another part of me that is standing on the deck of the twitter ship, watching the iceberg grow ever closer. It’s sad, and it’s scary. Maybe it’ll be a good thing, but I can’t help but wonder what could come from the downfall. Maybe I’ll be able to actually get some work done. Maybe there will be less relative negativity in the world. Or maybe more anti trans and anti lgbt legislature will silently pass, with nothing around for people to bring light to the bigotry that blights this country.

So, Twitter if you do hit that iceberg, if you do sink, it’s been an honor. If it doesn’t however, I’m going to look like a big goober for spending over half an hour of my time writing a big long post about it while sitting on the floor at work. 🖤

[ribghoul]

Tbh... idk if I'm really trans or not. Gender isn't something I think about often- i don't really care what pronouns people use for me or what people see me as. Does that make me nonbinary?

i think that whether or not you are trans is simply a matter of how you want to interpret how you feel about your gender. i know there is a culture of gatekeeping "transness", but to be honest there is no "correct" way to be trans and every person experiences their gender in a unique way.

if calling yourself nonbinary is something you feel helps describe yourself, i think it’s perfectly valid to consider yourself trans. there are no prerequisites for being trans - you can go by any and as many pronouns as you want, you can present however you want, and you don’t necessarily have to spend a lot of time thinking about your gender.

[butyouvealwaysbeenthecaretaker]

Sort of related to that, but the newest Tales of the City on Netflix is just so hilariously earnest and po-faced I can’t handle it.

I’m a huge fan of the books, but I only tuned in because I thought a narrative about a trans man possibly coming out as a gay post-transition was an interesting one to see.

And it’s dreadful, it sort of functions like a tumblr educational post. The way that the cis gay men around him are supportively neutral about his exploration process and positive about him coming out, the way that his cis girlfriend who has just agreed to an open relationship earnestly talks about how she misses being seen as a lesbian, it’s...you know, there is a fantastic movie to be made about this story, but you have to treat your characters as people rather than ideological widgets in which everyone is behaving correctly.

It’s queer-utopian to the degree of being actively unrealistic. Now, realistic doesn’t have to mean horrible. But the show just has everything just working out for the characters the way it’s supposed to, and it just doesn’t read as sincere. I didn’t see a story I could relate to.

~*~

A really good comparison point is actually Jake’s introduction in Michael Tolliver Lives, the book in which the character is introduced. Michael Tolliver is the author’s stand-in-self-insert who he’s been writing since 1970-something in a series of like, 7 books; he’s a HIV+ gay man and widower. Unique for the TOTC series, this story is written in the first person from Michael’s perspective.

Michael picks Jake up at a bar, they hook up, and afterwards stay friends and Jake becomes a series regular.

You’ve got Michael’s inner monologue of like, being worried that he’s going to mess up somehow and hurt Jake’s feelings, which reads as legit to me - he knows this isn’t as simple as a tumblr post about inclusion. And you’ve also got Michael making this strong connection between Jake’s transness and his own HIV+ status. Another guy at the gay bar outs Jake nastily to Michael when they’re in the loo; and it reminds Michael of the era in which people did that about him, when being HIV+ meant being a pariah. Michael thinks about how attracted he is to Jake, not only physically but also to his confidence, wondering how often he does this and knowing he is probably scared.

Maupin wrote the first trans character in american literature as far as we’re aware; he doesn’t always get it spot on, but his heavily autobiographical books always come from a place of inner truth and personal experience.

Like, I don’t want trauma porn or to see a character like Jake - my fave trans man in literature! not that there are many to choose from - harmed on screen, but I also don’t want this bland pollyanna-ish utopianism, especially when the original source handles this scene so well. I want complexity - I want conflict. Conflict doesn’t need to mean anger or violence, but it does need characters with fully-realised inner lives like...Jake and this random guy going home together, and the experience not being a simple one for either of them. It doesn’t need to show shame or abuse to be realistic, but it does need to be surprising or a moment of discovery, perhaps discovering something unexpected, or something that changes a person or is mixed, rather than just - and it was all OK. How often do trans people have sex with a stranger and the experience is one where “...but they supported and validated my gender identity, and that’s all I really needed, so I had a great time!” is the total reality of the experience.

And ditto with things like, the girlfriend’s response being so even-handely “I want to support him, but I miss being seen as a lesbian and I’m not sure how I feel about this being an open relationship” like, get angry, girl! Or, repress it. Or throw yourself into supportiveness as a cover for how you’re feeling. Or get a new girlfriend and have some proper poly drama. Or throw something at him, or throw him out, or endure it politely, or say no. Don’t just behave the way you’re supposed to in a single tell-not-show dialogue scene. Humans are messy! The conflict between what a person says they want and what they actually want is a ripe source for storytelling! What if the girlfriend has the worst possible response in the world, while knowing that it’s unethical and unkind, and her story is about trying to reconcile those two parts of her experience? I’d watch that.

(Case in point, I really love the protagonist’s wife in Victim (1961) - she’s a fantastic character, really nailing this middle ground where she doesn’t want to cause harm to her closeted husband, and she isn’t depicted as some kind of cludgel to beat the gay character for being destructively gay; but she’s still strong, about her own need to be in a real, mutual relationship, about feeling deceived. Perhaps the best line of dialogue in the film is hers, something like “I’m a woman, not a life raft, and I want to be loved for myself”. It’s fantastic writing, maintaining empathy for its closeted character in a way that’s radical for the period but also holding empathy for this wife as well, who quite rightly wants more from her life than to be a life-raft or a savior figure or a beard for this messy guy. idk how a 1961 movie arguing for gay rights has more compassion and understanding of the “ally spouse having a hard time with new information” character than a full 2010s series focused on queer people of all kinds)

[genderkoolaid]

in honor of this terf bullshit:

i'm adding my tags from this rb:

#thinking specifically about the Agojie who reportedly would say they had become men thru becoming warriors#& to be clear I'm not saying they are 1:1 w western transmascs#but it's telling to me that transmasculinity never comes up At All#people hear ''warrior women'' and only ever talk about cis women#idk why can't we entertain the idea that women who actively considered themselves to have become men#or been men in some way#mayve viewed their gender in a more complex way than just women?#you'll sometimes hear people bring up lesbians but never trans men. hmmm#it's almost like people view transmasculinity as a corrupting force which is existentially opposed to cis womanhood#it's just sooo fucking annoying seeing people never think at all abt the idea that if there is a role#where people assigned female can culturally masculinize themselves#maybe just maybe some of those women would not have identified with entirely ''cis'' womanhood?#like there had to be some people out there for whom the idea of becoming a man thru war was the point#I just wish people didn't act like you can either have Feminist Women in History or trans men but the two can't exist at once#like if any historical badass women were actually transmasc it's a Threat To Feminism#bc trans mens existence is only relevant in how cis women are affected by us

I am not saying all these people were trans men. I'm using "transmasculine" as a descriptor to group in things with a shared element (people assigned female socially/spiritually/physically masculinizing themselves in a way that changes their identity/place in culture) to relate it to trans activism.

my point is that cis is just as much a construct as trans is and we have a tendency to assume that every culture shares a cis-binary framework. gender is a construct and not every culture constructs it the same. when we see people assigned female in history, who culturally masculinize themselves, who do so to the extent they say they have become men, why do we reflexively assume that experiences is comparable to the way a cis woman in the US military or athlete understands her gender?

Oftentimes the most common ways we learn about "warrior women" is through cissexist and white-western storytelling. Nuanced cultural feelings about one's place in one's unique gender system are rarely not carried over. You know transmasculinity isn't gonna get brought up as even a consideration in most spaces. And also, I used the term "transmasculine" because women can be transmasculine. And I think with some "warrior women", even if they saw themselves as women on any level, it makes sense to connect that womanhood with transness. And also some of them likely would not identify themselves as "women", cis or not, in our binary language if they could.

And to be clear we do need so much nuance here wrt applying our labels, even categorically. Hapshetsut is a good example- yes, they portrayed themself as a man in art. but we also need to understand how ancient egyptians understood art as not a literal representation of the world around us and the ways that, within that society, a queen depicting herself as a man would not be understood in the same way we understand social transitioning of a trans man. i talked about the agojie not because they were just "women warriors" but because i literally read a quote where they explained their identity as "becoming men" and like. its deeply ethnocentric, imo, to assume that "becoming a man" has to mean the kind of physical transition we imagine. and especially since transmasculinity is reflexively erased in everything and even people who went to extreme lengths to be seen as a man and never a woman and out loud with their mouths said they identified as men are written as "women seeking safety/privilege." we should question why our understanding of gender & its connection to a certain bodytype is the default

whenever i look into cultural/historical third genders my first question is always "okay but where are the people who were assigned female" and my second is "if they aren't being named, why is that?"

[genderqueerdykes]

Hey uhm weired question but how does one figure out if they want to medicaly transition or not cuz I know I want to transition socially and legally but I'm still unsure if I want to medical transition or not cuz I know to have the body I want I'd need to but on the other hands there are so many hoops and hurdles to jump through and idk that even if I tried I'd succeed or if one one of the steps someone just goes "your not trans enough" And I have to start over and such I just I'm really unsure rn cuz one one hand I would love to transition and get the body I want but on the other hand I'm not entirely against my current body it's more of a meh and idk if the struggle of getting hurt and surgery is worth it

Hope this makes sence

hey i get that, it's a huge change, a lot to plan for, and a lot to think about! i think it feels very overwhelming at first when you're considering all of the possibilities, and if it's even right for you to begin with. it can be very easy to get weighed down by everything, but i am glad you're considering all the outcomes

i'd say for you, try to figure out if what you want is to change your actual physical body, or if you just want to change how people interpret you or address you. for some, people just want others to refer to them differently without having to make any changes, and that's perfectly okay. for others, there is something about their body that is amiss, and needs changing.

you don't need to experience dysphoria, if you do it's okay, but you don't have to in order to medically transition, it's just more about is there a change you WANT to see in your body? do you actually want your body to be different, or do you want to change the way you present? you can achieve the latter without any medical intervention

for me, medical transition was the answer because i wanted to be able to enhance my naturally high testosterone. i wanted to have my beard and have it be fuller. i wanted to have my body hair, and i wanted more of it. i wanted a deep voice. i wanted to look more rugged, squared, and defined. i wanted more muscle definition and i wanted to change the way the fat distributed on my body. i wanted smaller breasts and thinner hips, etc.

i think those are just a few good things to keep in mind. ask yourself what you want from transition, and don't worry, it's not a contest. i know cis people love to tell you that you have to do everything in order to be trans but there's no checklist, your transition is unique to you and you get to make the decisions, not anyone else.

i hope you're able to figure out if medical transition is right for you! either way , i support you and your journey and transition either way! you define your transness, no one else can =) take care, stay safe

[arlens-entries]

Personal/Vent

I'm feeling an enormous amount of grief this winter break as a result of my being trans + in college + ADHD

Idk for the longest time I was able to escape awkwardness with people, especially family, by just presenting as a weird girl but since starting testosterone I can't really do that--my voice has dropped enough to notice and because I'm so damn comfortable in my body rn I am actually more awkward and unhappy as just a weird girl

At the same time, my extended family (who I haven't seen yet but will) doesn't even know I'm gay, let alone trans and I have absolutely no idea how to approach that conversation

I've never really felt dysphoria as a social thing before this, more just a deep feeling of wrongness with certain IDs, but now I'm having to navigate my family's reactions to my transition and make mental space for their own adjustments.

I don't think they took my transness seriously before HRT, and now that they're actually seeing me differently they're awkward about it

Idk I'm not mad or anything, just uncomfortable and a little lonely and I'm not sure what to do about that. I know this isn't a unique experience, and tbh it was coming eventually but it's just hard.

Happy holidays to all celebrating, and a good rest of the season to everyone else :]

[clueless-arting]

Fun fact I'm a trans man. I'm also... atheist? I don't believe in a god. More specifically, I don't particularly care if there is or not. These two things aren't super related, but knowing people who don't accept my transness (? Idk if that's a term) due to religious reasons got me thinking. I think, if there was a god and they cared a wit about some individual, they would've made me trans because the experience, as it has been so far, has been a great teacher. I have learned how to listen - because I have had need of someone to listen to me, and I learned how to listen from those who did both well and poorly at doing so. I learned how to stand up for myself, and continue to do so; it is not an easy task to try and encourage a change of pronouns and names. I've also learned that I need to be stronger because I don't correct those around me even when it hurts. I've learned a great deal of patience. My friends, when I first came out, went through a phase of very loudly correcting and apologising when they made mistakes, which hurt and was embarrassing. They got much better though, and I was proud of them. I learned how good I have it with the people I am around. They've accepted me, and supported me, and even held a dick party for me. How many people can claim that? I have found resources and knowledge that would have never come up otherwise, and been able to help others out. I have met people I would not have met otherwise, and connected with them in a way I never expected. So... I don't quite understand why, if they believe a god has created all and made this world, a person would believe being trans is wrong. I feel like being trans has done nothing but made my life more rich. Not to say being cis would not have allowed richness - but it's in a unique way that I appreciate and came to love, even if being trans and the process is difficult. I like being trans. I like being gay. I like me. And if it was because a god said, "hey see that fucker there? Make that one queer" then, thank you god.