#idk I just think it’d be fun for several works to be submitted but they’re all for some reason about the sex raft

[blodeuweddschild]

Permanently tempted to make every assignment about a random topic so I get to forcibly educate my tutors about the use of geothermal energy in Iceland or the Acali sex raft when all they wanted was some design shit

[purplesurveys]

772

What was the last thing you threw at someone? A piece of meat for my dog to run for. Well, walk and sniff around for. He’s an old guy and doesn’t run anymore unless we’re taking him out for a walk. Do you follow recipes? I always certainly have to, since I don’t have any one dish memorized. I’ll start off with a collection of recipes for sure, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be at least a decent cook over the next few years. Where's the last place you had an itch? The area behind my knee.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? It’s always important to have eye contact to show you’re paying attention so yeah. But I know it can get uncomfortable for most people at some point – and me – so I’ll give my eyes a break and look at their forehead, their nose, the space between their eyes, etc. When you look into someone's eyes, can you see their pain? Uh no, I don’t look that intensely lmao. And even then, I’ve learned over the years that most people are very good in hiding or playing off their true emotions that even if I try to find something off, I’ll likely turn up with nothing.

When was the last time you sneezed? Midnight today. How do you act under pressure? It will depend on how much there is to do and how much time there is left. I don’t have one permanent behavior for every time I feel pressured, which is pretty often. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My dog. Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? Yes, back when everything was normal I’d sometimes call my girlfriend just to drop by and say hi, and also because our schools are a little far apart and I’ll miss her in the middle of the day. School usually stresses her out so I do that as a pick-me-up for her. When was the last time you used a glue stick? January maybe? Our profs always ask us to submit index cards with our contact details and a 1x1 photo at the start of the semester, so there’s a good chance I asked to borrow glue from someone to paste my photo onto the card. What was the last startling noise you heard? Some dipshit on my Twitter feed decided it was good fun to share a jumpscare disguised as an innocent, cute video at 3 AM. I was mad about it then and I’m still mad as hell about it now lol. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? I did this a lot as a kid. Idk why, I found it interesting to get to know the people in my school and read their write-ups I guess. I stopped looking back on them precisely because I did it too much when I was younger. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? No. I did not give a shit about prom at all. I really would’ve happily skipped out on it but my school is a complete killjoy and made both attendance and bringing a date mandatory for everyone. No stags, can you believe it? It’s like when Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine said “Have a good time, I specifically requested it” lol Are you tired? Tired of this quarantine, yes. But I took a nap not too long ago so I’m not feeling to sleepy in that sense. Have you ever ran from the police? I haven’t done anything for them to have to do run after me, so no. Are you afraid of clowns? Not really. I was never exposed to them much so I always just saw them as people in heavy makeup that do balloon animals and other funny tricks. Have you ever written on someone's face in your yearbook? HAHA yes. When my sister and I were kids we bickered a lot, and in one of our fights I thought it’d be funny to doodle on her kinder portrait. She didn’t think so and she started wailing - just in time, I heard my mom coming home and I had to think fast so my sister a) stopped crying and b) wouldn’t tell on me. So I did the stupidest thing and also doodled on my own prep portrait to make her feel better. She calmed down and my mom never found out. When was the last time you made dinner? I *helped* my dad make dinner a few months ago. I haven’t completed a meal myself. Do you have any special plans coming up? They’re gonna be mellowing down the lockdown rules in my province by the 15th and I’m really hoping to see Gabie soon. Realistically I doubt it would happen as I don’t think both our parents would agree to it, but it’s still nice to keep hoping. Did you just lose the game? Yep, but I really only found out about this game from Reddit a few months ago and I didn’t grow up having to play it, so I’m never all too pissed off or like emotionally invested in general whenever I lose it haha. What is a class at school you are interested in taking? There are global studies electives that I was unaware of until someone told me to take them after I enrolled for my last sem in collefge. There are courses on Turkish culture, global gastronomy, and they also had past courses on ‘Diversity on Perspectives on Peace and Conflict,’ ‘Cultures of Disasters,’ and ‘Cultures and their Global Entanglements.’ They all sound right up my alley and am disappointed no one told me sooner. Do you hold on to your dreams? Some of them, the ones I know I have a chance of attaining. Obviously I’ve had to let some go, like wanting to go to the moon or becoming a firefighter. Do you follow rules or break them? Follow. I don’t like getting into trouble. Is there someone you are dying to see? A lot of people. Who do you want to be buried next to? I’ve given this zero thoughts. Are you double-jointed? Nope. Did your dream last night involve blood? It didn’t. I’m not even sure what my dreams were anymore. Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom, probably. How do you feel about the new president? I wouldn’t call him new, he’s in the latter half of his term now. I hate him and I hope he dies soon. Do good things come to those who wait? Sure, it can happen. What is the last song you played on iTunes? I haven’t used that in a while. The last one I listened to on Spotify was Sudden Desire by Hayley Williams. Petals For Armor is still on loop, surprise. What is the last thing you looked up on youtube? I was showing my sister the hilarious Vine of Beyoncé where she thanks a talk show host who tells her “You are Beyoncé,” as if it was a compliment looooool, so I looked up “you are beyonce thank you.” When is the last time you went to the grocery store? March 9th. What is your favorite fish? Tuna or eel for raw fish, tilapia for cooked. What kind of calendar do you have? A digital one. Have you ever been two hours late for school? Oh hell no. I’ve been late before, but if it’s as dramatic as being an hour late I usually just cut class to save myself the embarassment of having to do the walk of shame entering the class. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? I don’t have any stuffed animals. Who did you hang out with yesterday? My family, as has been the case since March. Has anyone stolen your heart yet? Yes. Have you ever won a gold medal? No. I’ve won first place before, but they didn’t issue out gold medals. Do you have any trophies? Also no. Do you work out? I don’t. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? Sometimes, but tbh I just picked it up from Gabie who’s a big hand-shaker. I preferably wouldn’t cause it seems so formal to me. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? Yeah, like I wouldn’t want to have a lot; I like keeping my immediate circle small. I’m more than content with my two best friends. When's the last time you went to a dance? 2016. What grade are you in? Soooooooooo unbelievably close to graduating college. Are you in a band? I’m not and haven’t been. Have you ever been in a talent show? No thanks. Have you ever won a contest? Competitions, yes. Contests, no. How do you feel about germs? I’m quite particular about them. I don’t like sharing clothes with people; I pick which friends get to eat off of my spoon or sip from my straw; I’m super iffy about touching someone else’s keyboard; I really don’t like having to touch other people’s hair and with that is also the fact that I never borrow or lend hair ties. Holy shit so I’m more germaphobic than I thought and all I had to do was list these things down......................... Do you like screamo music? Not really. What does your wallet look like? Pink and a lot thinner now that I haven’t been given an allowance since they stopped school. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. At this point, I really wish I did lmao Would you rather have money or love? Money. I love love, but I won’t deny that I also love being able to afford the lifestyle I want to live haha. Do you have any family pictures hanging on the wall? Not on the wall, but we have several frames lined up on the first few steps of our stairs. Which do you prefer: bath or shower? Bath after a long hard day. Shower most days. Do you have a lamp in your room? I used to, but I removed it after realizing the light just keeps me from falling asleep faster.

Do you have windows vista? No. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? I’ll deal with it if I had no choice, but I’ve never handled goodbyes well.

[thiscattygenius]

So. @girlgeniusevents held a rarepair challenge. Write a Martellus/Agatha one-shot in a day.

It took me slightly more than a day and it’s roughly 4k words long and I don’t know why this was so much fun but here it is. No, I don’t ship this. Yes, I hope you will when you’ve finished reading this.

It might eventually end up on Ao3 but idk when. Enjoy.

------------

“Agatha! Oh, thank the heavens. What happened?”

She turns just in time to see Tarvek skid through the doorway, his shoulders dropping in relief.

Jabbing her thumb up at Martellus, she says, “He happened.”

Then Gil also comes crashing through the doorway, nearly bowling Tarvek over. “What happened? Oh. Him.”

He looks… he looks like Gil again. Almost like no time has passed since Mechanisburg.

“Did you…?” she asks Tarvek.

And Tarvek grins. “We did!”

“Did what? Oh!” Gil says, and then he’s grinning too, hands in the air in celebration. “He fixed it!”

She’s already running, throwing herself into his arms, throwing her lips against his so hard and fast she’s probably going to bruise, but she doesn’t care because he’s here and he’s fine and she’s missed him.

After an amount of time unfortunately closer to a moment than an eternity, her feet drop back to the floor.

Everyone’s staring. Well, she’s not ashamed.

Tarvek is looking a little off balance, though, fond, happy, a little closed-off and, she thinks, a little uncertain.

She doesn’t want to make him feel left-out, so she reaches out, grabs a fistful of the front of his shirt, and pulls him in for a kiss of his own.

It’s gentler than the first one. He’s surprised but not complaining, and Gil’s arm is still around her waist, and… and this is not the time for this.

She breaks the kiss and pulls away from both of them, just enough to compose herself. “Good. That’s great!” she says.

Zeetha wolf-whistles somewhere behind her and she valiantly does not turn around.

She does turn back to point accusingly at Martellus. “You’re not getting one.”

He huffs like a disgruntled cat and adjusts the lapels on a jacket he’s gotten from somewhere. “I wasn’t asking.”

“Um, Agatha?” Gil asks.

“Why is he here?” Tarvek finishes.

“Remember the touch of the king thing he put on me?” she asks. “Apparently it works both ways.”

Tarvek barks a laugh, and Gil looks vindicated enough that he must have been filled in on the details.

“So why is he still alive?” Tarvek asks.

Martellus bristles something that starts with, “Why you useless…” but she ignores that.

“We’re not killing him,” she says, then she adds, “Yet,” under her breath so only the boys, and probably the jägers, can hear it. “He’s promised to help undo the thing, and either way he’s more useful dead than alive right now.”

“I’ll still shoot him for you if you want,” Gil mutters.

“Gil,” she says, admonishing. “I can kill him myself if I need to.”

“I… well yes, of course,” he says, stumbling over his words just slightly.

“Either way, she’s right,” Tarvek says. “He can be useful, and we should really get back to the lab.”

There’s general agreement at that, and the room starts moving, everyone heading for the door to get back to the lab they were in.

Agatha gets a glimpse of Martellus’s face as he’s swept along with the flow, looking nicely confused.

“Did I interrupt something?”

There are a few huffs of laughter, but no one seems inclined to answer, so after a minute or so, she takes pity on him. “We were just about to remove my mother from my head,” she says.

To his credit, he loses the confusion immediately. “I actually am sorry I got in the way of that,” he says, stepping up beside her. “Anything I can do to help?”

She looks to Tarvek, who looks to Gil, who looks back at her. Her mouth opens to say something, and she snaps it shut again.

After breathing for a long ten seconds, she says, “I couldn’t say.”

Both her boys look concerned now.

“Is she pushing again?” Tarvek asks.

Agatha nods and says nothing. Then she keeps her mouth shut until they reach the lab.

Martellus stays by her side, and Zeetha comes up on her other, a silent guarantee that she won’t be running away, and the boys catch Martellus up on the plans.

He listens intently and even compliments the elegance of the suggested procedure. It’s a brusque, pragmatic sort of compliment, but she’ll call it what it is. He questions the decision to give Lucrezia an independent body, but doesn’t contest it once he hears it’s on Albia’s request.

Then he starts suggesting improvements.

Agatha can’t join in. She can’t be entirely sure right now that her suggestions would be coming from the right place, and either way she’s already contributed everything she needs to this process. Instead, she sits back, focuses on staying herself, and watches the boys make adjustments.

She finds her eyes drawn to Martellus. She can tell he’s restraining himself, which is a welcome surprise. He’s doing so on several levels, even. Purely socially, while the animosity between him and her boys is almost tangible, he’s holding himself back from being openly antagonistic, focusing on the task at hand, and they in turn stay focused too.

On a more technical level, she can tell he wants to make large changes in their setup. Of course he does. He’s a spark, after all, and a strong one. He wants to take the whole thing apart and rebuild it, better! Stronger! More effective! …but he doesn’t. He holds himself in check and defers to their groundwork, works within that, offering improvements up, through his teeth, yes, but for consideration, not as a demand.

He’s not here to submit to them, no, but he knows how to pick his battles.

She supposes that’s a quality he’s had since the beginning. Once he reads a situation correctly, he can be ruthlessly rational. He knows when to give in and when to keep fighting, and in effect, he might be one of the strongest people she’s ever met.

She doesn’t care for ever calling him her king, but she has to admit he’ll probably be good at it.

A rough hand on her arm drags her off her train of thought, and she looks up to see Zeetha grinning down at her. “You still Agatha in there?”

“Yes, I’m good,” Agatha says. “I can hold her back.”

“Good,” Zeetha says. “Seeing as we’re almost ready.”

Agatha looks back at the boys and sees to her surprise that Zeetha is correct. The final adjustments are just being done.

“You weren’t paying attention?” Zeetha asks, leaning down, and Agatha doesn’t like the sound of her grin.

“I’m concentrating!”

“Suuuure you are,” Zeetha says, looking pointedly at Martellus. “You were also appreciating the nice new view.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Agatha says, hoping her blush doesn’t show. “He’s an ass.”

“Sure is,” Zeetha says. “You’ve got a nice view of it from here, don’t you?”

“Zeetha,” Agatha complains, hiding her face in her hands. “Why would I even want to get close to him?”

“It’s not like I’m saying to listen to a word he says. Just, you know…” Zeetha has a hand on each of Agatha’s elbows, swinging suggestively. “You already have two, so why not collect them all? Keep him in a little room in your castle and bring him out when you feel like having a spicy piece of…”

“Zeetha!” Agatha laughs, scandalized.

Mostly scandalized. Partially too used to Zeetha to be surprised. Partially trying not to show that the image is… interesting.

Suddenly, she’s yanked up by her elbows and shoved into a chair, and Violetta is securing straps around her arms.

“Wha… huh?”

“Distraction~,” Zeetha singsongs.

“Was that what that was!?”

Zeetha’s smile shifts from mischievous into firm and reassuring as she steps up and puts her hands on Agatha’s locket. “Needed to keep your mind elsewhere. Ready?”

Agatha takes a deep breath, and nods. “Ready.”

---

With the Lady Heterodyne securely strapped in, it’s all Martellus can do to step back and let his annoying little cousin take the controls. It is his project, after all, important as it is. His and Wulfenbach’s.

At least Martellus doesn’t have to worry about anyone subverting the instruments for their own purposes. Even without Wulfenbach’s careful eye on everything, it seems the Lady wasn’t wrong after all. Tarvek does genuinely seem to care.

It’s a surprise just how much he’s changed. Martellus doesn’t know when it happened, but he thinks he knows how. It can only be her doing.

He looks as the Lady Heterodyne’s body fights against her restraints, snarling and screaming, until she falls still as the process takes.

Every damn time he sees her, he wants to put his past self in a headlock even more. Every time, he underestimates her. Every time, she impresses him more.

She’s as frustrating as she is fascinating. Wily and obstinate and impossible to control, every time he tries to get an upper hand, she kicks him further down, but she’s strong, so strong. Fantastically intelligent, alluringly rational when it counts, and altogether disturbingly attractive.

It shouldn’t be surprising that Tarvek is fond of her, or that she has Wulfenbach wrapped around her little finger, or that any of these people are following her, because why wouldn’t they? Already he knows a life with anyone else would be nothing more than a disappointment, but he doesn’t think he’ll like what it’d take to have her.

He doesn’t know if it’s possible to have her. Not without breaking her.

If she was the kind of person who would tolerate being had, he doesn’t think she’d be half as enticing.

It’s worse than frustrating. If this was what Andronicus felt for Euphrosynia, Martellus can almost understand why it went the way it did. If this is what Heterodynes are like, he understands why they’re spoken of the way they are.

There are books that claim the Heterodynes are to other sparks what other sparks are to peasants. He never understood what that meant until he met her. He thought he knew how to swim, how to stay on top of any situation, but he had only ever swum in lakes, and she came down like a river.

He wants her more than he’s ever wanted anyone, but he’s not stupid. He’s not. He knows it’s not that easy. She doesn’t like him. She’s pragmatic enough to tolerate him, but she certainly doesn’t need him, and she already has not one but two men she does like falling at her feet to please her.

He’s not about to give up. A future where he just lets her go and settles for someone else is… well, he doesn’t like thinking about how pathetically unbearable that would be.

He does know his chances are small. He knows trying to push now would only push her away. He knows he can’t afford that. Not until the Other is gone for good.

The screaming of the machines settles down. The Lady Heterodyne slumps back in the chair.

The green-haired woman, Zeetha, he thinks, plucks the helmet from her head, and she blinks blearily up at them.

Then she sits up straight and starts laughing. “Guys!” she says. “It worked!”

The weight of tension melts away from the whole room.

He smiles too as most of her entourage descends upon her, somehow gets her out of the restraints and everyone starts chattering at once.

It worked! She’s free. Another instance of the Other is more or less taken care off, and the Lady Heterodyne is gloriously free, stretching her neck with relish and laughing in relief. She’s free, the way she always should have been, glowing and gorgeous. She smiles like sunlight.

There’s only one leash left on her now, and he’s the one feeling the lash of it.

That thought stings unexpectedly hard, and once again he has the wild urge to go back in time to smack himself. How could he ever have thought controlling her was possible? That taking her down and holding her under his wing was something he was even close to good enough to accomplish?

She’s a river. A whirlpool. Every second he spends in her presence pulls him further in.

He steps into the circle they’ve formed around her and draws her attention.

���Right, there’s still the other thing,” she says. “Let’s go take care of that.” She sweeps past him without a second glance and settles by a worktable. “Come here.”

He doesn’t stand for being ordered around.

Usually.

This isn’t orders, anyway. It’s what he meant for her to do.

He comes to her.

“Ah, Agatha?” Wulfenbach says, stepping after him.

“Gil,” she says, with a honey-soft undertone that she’s never had when addressing Martellus. “I think the two of us can handle this. It’s more important for you to help ensure nothing goes wrong with the Otherbox.”

“Are you sure?” Wulfenbach asks, his eyes flicking to Martellus.

“I can handle it,” she says. “Go.”

And he goes. Of course he goes. She owns him.

Martellus huffs, turning towards the worktable and taking a quick inventory of the tools they have at hand. “We’ll have to take some readings.”

He never made this effect with the intention of undoing it, and he was under considerable stress at the time. They’ll need far more detailed readings of both her and himself, individually and while in contact, to know what they’ll have to change, probably several times.

At least the work goes fast. Far faster than if he was working on his own. Faster than with any other possible assistant. He never has to tell her what’s needed, because she knows already, every step of the way. He starts adjusting a piece of their setup to make it more efficient, and by the time he’s halfway, she’s already redone the other half even better.

He doesn’t talk much, just outlines the basic idea of what they need to begin. She doesn’t talk at all, but she hums, that same strange hum she had while screwing his temporary hand onto his arm in her sleep.

He always assumed heterodyning would be musical. Relaxing, maybe. Instead, it keeps him on edge, constantly aware that if he loses his grip, he’ll be taken by the rapids.

He could learn to live on that edge, if he had to.

They get her readings done in record time, and she nods at the readout, presumably double-checking it against whatever readings she must have taken of herself earlier that day. Then they do his, which are for the most part where he expected them.

Then she grabs onto his newly stitched wrist so hard it hurts, and she stops humming as they watch the readouts show the biological reaction to the touch.

“That’s the best we’ll get, for now,” he says, watching the chemical changes take place. “We’ll have to take it in stages, but we should be able to reverse the process, and then we’ll be clear.”

“Good,” she says, releasing her hold and going to pull the chemicals they’ll need out of various closets.

He watches her while he rubs his aching wrist. Watches the tilt of her head, the tension in her arms, the swoop of her waist.

“Look,” he says, standing up straight so he can get the height advantage. She stands too, staring right up at him, and it doesn’t feel like an advantage at all. “You’re right,” he says. “I wouldn’t have been sorry if it hadn’t gone wrong for me, but it always would’ve gone wrong, against you, and I am sorry.”

“That’s not an excuse,” she says. “You’re still sorry because you made a mistake, not because you did anything wrong.”

“That’s… true.” Here it is again. Like his height means nothing, like his status is a joke, her piercing stare deflates him like bursting a balloon. “But, I mean…”

She glares at him for another moment before she sighs. “What is it?”

“I can’t be nice,” he tries again. “I can’t go around and be considerate of everyone. Not if I want to be what Europa needs right now, or ever. But, what I did to you was pointless and stupid and caused more problems than it solved.”

“To say the least,” she mutters, and he can’t argue.

“What I mean is that I shouldn’t have tried. You obviously can’t be controlled, and I am, actually, sorry I tried. I was an idiot the first time around, but I do learn, and even if it would’ve worked if I did it a second time, I wouldn’t want to try it.”

He doesn’t know it’s true until he says it. He doesn’t know why it’s true, now that he has.

If he could have her, really have her, wouldn’t he want to?

But he can’t, that’s the thing. He can’t have that, and he can’t afford to get caught up in dreams and fairy tales.

She holds his gaze for a long moment, and he’s the one who has to break away.

“Apology accepted,” she says. Then she turns back to the table with the chemicals and leaves him blinking in the dust.

He settles next to her again, and when she starts humming this time, it feels different. He’s still on the edge of falling to it, still a moment from losing control, but it feels, now, like the fall would be softer.

She stops to talk now, too. Not much, but every now and then, she pauses the humming to explain what she’s thinking, or to suggest a solution to an issue. It’s short, to the point, and oh so clever. He has to force himself not to smile every time she talks to him.

He has the vague suspicion that he’s acting like a boy with a crush, but that’s a thought he refuses to acknowledge.

And then they’ve finished the first stage of the process, swallowed the necessary chemicals and applied the appropriate electric shocks, and they need to take the readings again, and this time she reaches up distractedly and puts her hand against his cheek.

And he freezes.

He can barely see the new readings flashing past, too distracted by his breath leaving him. Her hand is warm against his face, soft, despite the callouses from a life of holding tools, gentle. He wants to lean into it, wants to put his own hand over hers and close his eyes, holding her there forever.

“Oh, that’s much better,” she says, and in an instant her hand is gone again, pulled away so she can leaf through the new numbers.

It leaves a cold handprint on his face.

“Martellus? Are you listening?”

Cursing himself, he shakes his head and looks through what she’s holding. “Yes, of course,” he says. Then, “Two or three more rounds like that and we’ll be cleared out, I think.”

She nods and starts picking through the chemicals again.

Two more rounds, two more touches until she again keeps him at an arm’s length, possibly forever. He hates how much that matters to him. Doesn’t know if he wants to drag it out or get it done.

“You were right about Tarvek,” he says, because he likes the way she looks at him when he admits she’s better than him at anything.

She looks up from where she’s measuring out distilled water for the solution. “What do you mean?”

“I thought he was only using you,” he says while keeping his eyes on the heating plate. “But it seems you were right that he honestly cares for you. I still don’t understand how you managed to do that.”

He expects her to get angry. Instead, she’s quiet for a while, and then she says, “Trying to survive Castle Heterodyne together didn’t hurt. Unlike some people I could mention, he’s actually a decent person once he stops trying to scheme so hard.”

“Hah,” Martellus says. “He’s also hopelessly in love with you.”

“There is also that, yes,” she says.

They fall back into silence and disharmonious humming, and Martellus is only halfway present, mentally. The phrase ‘hopelessly in love’ keeps bouncing around in his brain, because at this point, he thinks it might apply to himself as well.

He doesn’t like that. Tarvek is the hopeless romantic, not him. He wanted to marry her for the political weight the marriage would come with, not because he’s in any way hopeless.

But that was then, and this is now, and he can’t get it out of his head.

“Do you want to marry him?” he asks, eventually.

Now she actually does look angry. “I might!” she says, defiantly. “It’s hardly my priority right now, and I don’t see what business it is of yours.”

He considers that for a moment before he decides that the last part is safe to ignore. “And what about Wulfenbach?”

She huffs, nose in the air and, it warms him to see, lightly blushing. “Well. I am the Heterodyne. I have no reason to limit myself!”

The suggestion is so delightfully outrageous he has to laugh. It really is true that Heterodynes never do anything conventionally. She doesn’t laugh with him, but she does smile, and that alone feels like a victory.

They finish round two of the procedure and do the individual readings, and then he reaches out a hand towards her for the necessary contact. “May I?”

She steps closer and lets him hook his arm with hers, and he delights in the touch for those precious few seconds it takes for the readings to finish.

They’re almost pressed together to read the numbers at the same time, her side brushing up against his, and he’s hyperaware of every movement.

The readings are as good as they could’ve hoped. Just one more round of the procedure should be necessary to put them both back to normal, and he should be happy about that.

He should be, but he knows why he’s not.

“We’ll be working together for a while after this,” she says while they’re putting the last few doses together, measuring up salts and acids against each other.

“That was the hope,” he says. “It’s the one common goal I think we can all agree on.”

She holds her current solution up against the light to check if everything is properly dissolved. “Mmhm, of course. I hope you three can behave yourselves, then.”

Martellus pauses. He doesn’t know what to think about the way she says, ‘you three’. He didn’t know there was any context at all in which she thought of him as belonging to the same category as, well, her boys. He has no idea how to react.

“Of course!” he says instead. “I’m going to avoid being antagonistic to my own allies, if they let me.”

“And that will include me?” she asks.

“I never meant to be antagonistic to you.”

“You know what I mean,” she says, and he does.

“I won’t underestimate you again,” he says. “We’ll be equals. At least for now.”

She considers him with one raised eyebrow. “Will be?”

“Are,” he corrects. “There’s no one else I’d rather work with. No one else is half as good.”

She smiles, and goes back to work, humming.

He clings onto the edge of her fugue and settles in beside her, not sure what it is that hangs between them now, but liking it much better than he did before.

It takes them well over an hour of quiet work to finish, too many small details to tweak, too many things that are too important to be careless with. It’s not hard, it’s just very exact work, and by now they’re well into the flow of it.

It takes him almost by surprise when he’s standing there with the last few wires for the readings hanging off his arms, and they’re done.

She stretches her arms above her head and cracks her neck and looks for all the world like she’s just mildly tired after a long day. “Only one thing left now,” she says.

“Oh?” he says, surprised, because he can’t think of what.

“Well, we have to make sure it all went well,” she says.

“Oh, right,” he says, because that had honestly not come to mind. They’re both of them powerful sparks, and with the readings so readily available, it wasn’t even difficult work. He’d taken it for granted that there haven’t been mistakes.

“In all seriousness, I don’t think I’m going to get married,” she says out of the blue, piercing him with a look.

“That’s… an interesting decision. Politically,” he says.

“It’s easier,” she says. “It leaves me undisputed power over Mechanisburg and the freedom to make or break alliances with fewer assumptions of bias.”

“I can see the appeal,” he says, and then he has to ask, “Why are you bringing this up now?”

“Just needed to make sure that was clear,” she says.

Then she steps close, puts her hand on the back of his neck and pulls him down and then. Her lips. Meet his.

He doesn’t breathe. Doesn’t move for the first few seconds.

Then he reacts, putting his arms around her and hugging her close, kissing her back, because he doesn’t know why this is happening but he won’t complain, will never complain about this.

Beneath the soft exterior, she’s made of muscle, silk-covered steel mashing against him, dragging him down, and he can’t get enough. He can’t have her, but maybe he can have this, just for a moment, just for right now, she takes a hold of him and drags him down the rapids.

Then it ends, and she pulls away like nothing happened, looks at the readings from their instruments and smiles.

“Great!” she says. “Then that’s over.”

He doesn’t want it to be over.

“The king’s touch thing, idiot,” she says, and throws the readouts at him. “It worked. I’m going to go check on the boys.”

And again she leaves him in the dust, his hands full of paper proving they are once again untethered from each other, and his eyes glued to her retreating form.

He can’t have her, never could, but now she has him, and from here on out, he thinks, she always will.

[hyungkyun]

(^:

HENLO!!! this is ur actual bday present, not that Gross thing i sent earlier lol. again, do whatever u want with it!! u dont have to post it or anything. it’s just easier to submit stuff like this than to, idk, send u an email like a señora lol.

ok so im doing this in bullet point format bc the last time I wrote a coherent, well-written paragraph was like 5 years ago or smth. anyway!! since u hated soooo much my beautiful, amazing, unique goths au im going with the loser couple au… which was also a college au of sorts?? dskjhksjdf this isn’t even an au, since y’all are already losers tbh (^: this also got out of hand…. this shit is eight pages long. idk enjoy bithc.

first of all, ck the kind of dude everyone’s lowkey scared of bc he’s silent and serious af. also he does seem kind of a weirdo, tbh?

youve seen him around, maybe you’re in the same dorms but u have absolutely no idea what he’s majoring in :o and u ask around but no one has any idea either!! oh wow a mystery~~

BUT he’s kinda cute hmmm (^: and u probably find the weirdo vibe interesting

however it’s so hard to get to talk to him. u always run into him when you’re out with friends or in a hurry to get to class so :///

but destiny works in mysterious ways~~~ and once u meet it’s rly. so unexpected.

actually, it’s awful since u get locked out of ur dorm sound familiar?? during winter break, rly late at night after a long study session at the library yes, the library, fight me. so u kinda just. sit down miserably outside ur room, since ur roommates are gone, cursing everything and everyone. u will eventually go looking for someone to help u out or smth but right now u need to Whine.

but oh my!! enter mister im changkyun!!! that weirdo who actually lives a couple of doors away from u (how come you never found out wtf???)

he sees u basking in ur misery and actually. finds u rly cute??? bc you’re pouting, cursing a little under ur breath, fumbling with ur phone. but u also look angry as fuck, ready to kill a man??? and yet you’re really fucking cute what the hell!!!!

so he comes up to u and asks u what’s wrong, to which u answer not so nicely without even looking up from ur phone, bc you’re rly so done with this situation ://

but then u look up and u See who it is fuck fuck fuck fuckfucbicvufkhkcfj

but since ck’s Nice and he understands that u must be having an awful time (and also bc he thinks youre cute) he offers to help u. you’re kind of skeptical since he’s just another student, what could he do???

until he tells u he knows how to pick locks lmaoaoaoaoa. that lil weirdo (‘:

anyway he saves ur night. but since he’s an annoying lil shit he’ll tease u abt it every time he runs into u for the rest of winter break.

since that day y'all basiclly become an old, bickering, married couple fnsdjdj

u never stop annoying each other…. you’re wearing a hoodie? he’ll probably pull the hood all the way down until it covers ur eyes, and u get him back by messing up his hair which, by the way,is so soft….. hmmmm

u call each other nerd and loser and dumbass all the time lmao. he’ll constantly bring up the way u met just to jokingly say that you’d be lost without him :/// he rly is a lil shit.

it’s funny bc everyone figures out u are falling for each other… except u two. and i rly do mean everyone. ur friends. his friends. ur roommates. ur cat. the janitor, too, probably. it’s so obvious it hurts.

one time someone implies u would be a cute couple and y'all literally go all ‘no???? haha me??? liking that loser??? pfft not in a million years’

it’s the biggest lie, of course (: and ever since that person suggested u would look good together, both of u kind of realize it’d be… nice. more than nice. actually, super nice.

but since both of u are dumb tsunderes,  as ive said before, u will literally be the embodiment of this scene… except it goes both ways. honestly u are so gone for each other it’s GROSS.

but we need some angst up in here so y'all dont get together for a reaaaaaaally long time :/ smh. the pining is Real. ppl come and go in ur lives, and each person u go out with sees that u already fell for someone else—and that’s why all potential relationships don’t last much–, but sdjkfhksjdhk!!! neither of u want to openly admit it.

it’s A Mess bc u are actually good friends and u tell each other abt ur dates and stuff—secretly hoping the other will do something—but y'all looove being dumb so u act like it’s all cool and be like ‘o rly!! good for u, i hope it works out’. right. :/

y’all keep dancing around each other for several months until one Merciful Soul gets tired of ur shit and forces u to sort things out. im talking abt locking u up in some room and not letting u out until u stop pretending u aren’t disgustingly in love with each other. or smthequally cheesy (: u know ilove cheese

((obviously everyone eavesdrops through the door bc cmon, theyve been waiting for this for sooooo long))

at first u two are just annoyed at the Merciful Soul betchait was minhyuk, and u spend ur time yelling and cursing them for doing this (all while claiming that this is pointless, since u have NO feelings for each other. none. nada!)

after a very long time, it’s ck the one that confesses first lmao. youve been whining and being grumpy the whole time youve been locked up together and it kinda reminded him of the way u met… damn. here come The Feelings.

he’s tired, and there’s nothing left to lose. so he tells u The Truth.

[suspenseful pause….. what’s going to happen next?? :OOOOO]……… tune in next year to find out, in the continuation of Cristina’s Cheesy Birthday Present!!!

jk, proceed to the next bullet point pls.

obviously u tell him u feel the same way [insert ppl crying in the background] and he’s actually shocked when u say u like him back…. and gosh, he does look cute when he’s surprised…

so yeah!!! it’s until then that u FINALLY go on a date during the weekend!!. hallelujah. thanks minhyuk,u beautiful soul.

so!!! ok!! first date!!! a rly cute fairground in the evening!!!

u try to be fake mean to each other like u used to but everything feels different~~~ (^:

so instead y’all act bashful as hell, and blush at everything jjdfghjfhd. hands brushing accidentally?? BLUSH. eyes meeting? BLUSH. BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!!! u also laugh at everything bc both of u are so nervous oh gmhg fdknjjkdsfjoidf this is gross.

he’ll tell bad jokes to make u laugh and they’re rly so so so bad that he actually keeps u in stitches. if u look rly closely you’ll see his huge ass heart eyes bc !!!! he made u laugh!!!! and u look so pretty when u laugh omg!!!! dis-gos-tinnnnn

it’d be such a cute date tbh im crying just thinking abt it (‘’’’: obviously he’s a gentleman and he lets u choose what to eat, which ride to go to first, etc. u could literally tell him ‘hey let’s just sit down and do nothing’ and he’d say yes. he’s so gONe, ifmgfjdmf.

he’s kinda quiet and a lot shier than u wouldve expected but youre literally melting bc that’s a new side to him that you’d never thought you’d see.

u end up having so much fun (‘: u gross lil idiots, u.

oh and he’s def the type to ask if he can kiss u at the end of the night EYYYYYY

even if u find that incredibly endearing you’ll probably roll ur eyes with a huge ass smile on urlips lmaoaoaoao and call him a dummy for even asking when you’ve literally be in cloud nine since ur date started kjkhwjeqdkwjlk  

[hello, brief break to clarify that from this point i forgot this was actually a college au lmao, so the rest of the bullet points are literally just. random facts abt u two dating hhhhhh. We dont even know what ck’s major is odjfngnfdj]  

at first things are a lil awkward in ur relationship tbh

catch ck googling ‘how to relationship’ on a daily basis dnfndkfjdncn he is sort of clueless abt how to handle The Feelings. mostly bc this is Important and the last thing he wants is to mess it up )^:

that goes away eventually, tho!! he’ll start being his weird little self real fucking soon, so Get Ready

u still call each other nerd and all that stuff, but ur voices are dripping with fondness when u say it… literally everyone around u gets cavities from it, ew.

he’s not that big on planning dates but from time to time he’ll take u to rly cool, unexpected, interesting places :o  and eventually he’ll show u his favorite secret spots ((’:

study dates are a thing. i bet he’s that type of person that enjoys reading in weird ass positions… his legs are like, halfway off the couch and his arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful… what the hell….?? but it’s fine (: it goes so well with ur study methods, those that are Too Weird for the library, yeah?? (:

he will also stare at u a lot bc u look cute when you’re rly focused on smth that is, when u stop  whining abtstudying…

every time u catch him doing that you’ll go all ‘stop staring at me!!! wtf are u looking at u weirdo’ and he’ll answer ‘you’re so pretty~~~ ♥️♥️♥️’. you’ll blush like a lil idiot, naturally (^: hmmmm

and yea, yea. nap dates are a thing too :/// with sleepy forehead kisses and raspy voices and tangled limbs. all that sappy stuff. he’s a lil shit tho, so he’ll sometimes poke ur ribs to tickle u lmao.

buuuut he’ll also take a lot of pics of u sleeping bc he thinks youre cute )))): his faves always end up being his wallpaper for months.

he’ll get strange gifts for u, like rly bizarre plushies and rare books on topics he thinks u will like,  tacky anime memorabilia, etc. he’ll always give them to u at random times bc he just saw them and reminded him of u ♥️  

he makes a lot of playlists for u too!!! pls listen closely, he puts a lot more thought into them than he lets on.

u like his selfies??? well he’ll send u a lot of those. unfortunately, bc he’s a lil shit, he’ll mostly send double chins and weird ass faces from equally weird angles  

from time to time he’ll send u a Nice One tho ((((^: and u know, tongue selfies since youreSO fond of his(and I quote) “5ft tongue”. and oh gosh! is that a tongue piercing…??? eyyyyyy

if u want to take couple selfies then you’re gonna have a real hard time bc he’ll always be making weird faces and poses just to be annoying. eventually u will make dumb faces too tho (’: what a couple of losers

expect weird random texts: he loves telling u abt whatever is on his mind—probably aliens. he thinks a lot abt aliens and the universe. throw some conspiracy theories in there, too—. he’ll also send obscure memes. and a lot of russian cats!!

he’ll love ur cosplay hobbie. he thinks it’s super cool. he’ll call u a nerd but don’t be fooled! he totally brags abt it with his friends (^:

oh! and this is unrelated but at some point y'all will look like an emo goth couple. u won’t even realize that you’re both wearing black and looking Edgy, it’ll just happen spontaneously. tragic 😔

there are a lot of comfortable silences when u hang out, but late night deep convos are also fundamental :o!!! bc y'all are Smort.

he’ll act like f*cboi from time to time tbh?? he’ll tell lots of dirty jokes LMAO. u roll ur eyes at him a lot bc they’re rly. so bad.

if he winks or does Eyebrow Things then u can’t rly roll ur eyes and act like you’re annoyed bc (: u like it (: and u think it suits him (: and he knows it (: (: (:

u get back at him by telling him he’s cute tho, and he’ll get all shy and he’ll stutter and saying “noooooo” while also fighting back a smile

he will also howl or bark at u to annoy u jdfhkjdf. damn f*rry ://

on that note, he loves to embarrass u in front of ur friends bc he’s a lil shit :DD

But he’s also the sweetest??? whenever he sees you’re feeling down he’ll start doing weird shit to make u laugh. if that doesn’t work then he’ll hug u real tight without saying anything else, bc that’s Enough, u know?? (’:

ok time to get Domestic lads!!!

Idk who the hell is going to cook bc y'all are a damn mess in the kitchen. u two try to cook Nice Meals sometimes. seven times out of ten u end up ordering takeout lmao.

be prepared: he sings in the shower, and he does so terribly. (he might do it a little louder and a little more off-key sometimes bc he knows it makes u laugh)

random kisses are a thing!!! he kisses ur cheek or ur shoulder or ur nape or literally. any body part he can get his lips on when u two are just hanging out, watching movies or smth. it’s so soft and cute )^: wtf im crying

but also stolen kisses!! he’ll kiss u at the most unexpected of times and it alwaysleaves u breathless

he’ll constantly put his head on ur shoulder and make this face at u (^:  

can’t sleep??? don’t worry!!! he’ll sing to u with that pretty, soothing voice of his

anyway. what I meant is that y’all would be such cute little idiots together this was long af. wow. im so sorry. happy birthday??? lmao

I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC ITS SO FUCKING LONG NAT U DUMBASS ICB U DID THIS KFJSKFJSLKDJFLKJ THIS IS SO CHEESY AND GROSS and it also made me realize that u know too much shit abt me. what was that t*ngue part. im not talking to u ever again. aNYWAY U RLY ARE AN IDIOT I WAS SMILING SO BIG THRU THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE I SCREAMED A LITTLE?????????? FUCK U!!!!!!!! WHATS WITH ‘The Feelings’ PART I HATE THAT I ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF IM NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!! U CANT DO THIS TO ME SKJFHSKJDHFKSLDJFH 

icb u rly did the fairground first date i rly fucking hate u why did i even tell u these things i knew it was gonna fire back im fjjgjkknknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ur ‘tragic 😔’ when we become a goth couple :/ u dont understand goth love

why the fuck did u make him howl. i wanna fucking die rn. what the fuck. he fucking would. fuck off.

i dont wanna talk abt all that domestic shit how did u even write all of that without dying i literally wanna rip all my limbs off i wont make any comment. i didnt need to know what that would be like but u looooove ruining my life so :)

i rly hate u ksdjfhskdjhfksjh icb u did this thank u i wanna die??????????? wtf nat !!!!! no but rly thank u :( u took the time to write this long ass college au (is it????? whats cks major tho rly :/ ) and just skdfjsjk u remembered all the weird shit i told u thats cute and also Really Bad what else do u know that i forgot i told u skdfksjh im literally always screaming at u abt this shit how did u !!! remember all of this!!!!! dldskfjshljhlakjsh this is so cute and horrible nat wtf how could u :( now im gonna cry :(

[canaryatlaw]

mmmm okay, today was fine. I woke up at 8:45 because I had to do follow up on a case we submitted Friday but never made it in front of the judge. the court itself was pretty easy to deal with, however the client was 75 and let’s say uh, a little technologically unaware lol. so her granddaughter was on her way over to set up Zoom, but the court already has us in the waiting room, so I gave her the info about calling in in case she doesn’t make it in time, where you call the number and give the meeting ID number then wait until you’re connected. well, I guess there was some misunderstanding along the way because she kept telling me the phone would drop the calls on her when I was telling her to just wait, and then I eventually figured out she had been trying to “just hold” on my calls, not the court number I gave her....thankfully her granddaughter made it in time because they made us wait fucking forever anyway, and after a few small bumps getting the audio set up it went off without a hitch, emergency order granted. we ended up in front of one of the judges who’s a floater and doesn’t have an assigned courtroom, and he is always soooooooooooo slow in doing EOP hearings, but he does like to be very clear about exactly what is happening before making a decision, so I can appreciate that at least, and when he does deny emergency orders, I can at least understand his thinking, even if I don’t fully agree with it. So byt the time that was done it was past 1, so I made a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and then went back to work doing a millions different things, I’m scheduled to be the volunteer supervisor tomorrow and I’m also double-booked on court dates with one at 9 and the other at 10 in a different courtroom, and they’re both like, really fragile cases that I’ve spent a great deal of time working on in the past few weeks, so as much as I trust my coworkers (and I do, they generally are more knowledgeable than I am about court stuff at least) the situations are such that they could easily go off the rails, and if you don’t know everything that’s going on in the case you could end up getting screwed very quickly, so I’m really not comfortable with anyone else covering them. I’ve also grown rather fond of the clients in both cases so I want to make sure we’re doing all we can for them. so the plan is to log onto the 9 am courtroom and tell the coordinator I have another case up at 10 and if they could get us in sooner rather than later that would be much appreciated, it might be a bit more difficult this time because this time it’s going to be me, my client, opposing counsel, and potentially the Respondent, so that might take some time to manage. The 10 am one is set as such because the Respondent has a 9 am criminal case and the idea was basically to serve him with the papers while he’ll be there so he can make a choice if he wants to attend or skip, and if he skips we can get a default order entered which would be fab, but yeah because of that I know they’ll be fairly flexible about timing so I’m not too concerned there. so yeah, busy afternoon getting a lot of things ready, and tried to clock out somewhere around 5 pm, I’ve found it very tempting to just keep working if I have more stuff to work on (which I usually do) so I have to make myself stop for the day. fun working from home things. I had been contemplating making a run to the ups store and then the grocery store, the former for stamps I need to send out a bunch of closing letters, and the latter because we’re almost out of toilet paper so that needs to be fixed, and a few other items I neglected to get in my grocery order the other day. but I didn’t end up doing it today mostly out of laziness but I should have time tomorrow to get it done. my legs were a bit shaky on their own today, so idk if that means anything about how they will be while walking, but I guess we’ll see. I’m somewhat perplexed about the other situation I have going on. over the past few weeks my back pain has returned with a vengeance, after several months of it being basically non-existent (and me faithfully doing the exercises each day to keep it like that, and I continue to do them now), and I know a big potential cause of that for me at least is if my bra is too stretched out and isn’t supportive enough. so I was thinking maybe it was that but I couldn’t really tell if it’d been stretched out enough to actually be the cause of these issues....I say all this to say that Wednesday is my day to go into the office, and when I finish there at 3 I would be (relatively) close to the one and only store that actually sells bras in my size (seriously, do better Chicago) and like, the idea of needing to go bra shopping in the middle of a pandemic sounds gratuitous, but like, if this is the reason I need to be able to solve it. ugh. idk. we’ll see how I feel about it over the next few days and come to a decision. but yeah, for the rest of the night I basically just lounged on the couch and binged more of fresh off the boat, which has been entertaining so far, then eventually showered and started getting ready for bed and now I am here. Guess we’re really saying goodbye to August (and hence to summer, for the most part) now. tracking time this summer was so weird for obvious reasons, and now I don’t know how feel about if it felt too short or too long. well, I guess it doesn’t matter much anyway at this point. but yes, court tomorrow and it’s just past 1:30 so by the time I finish my last few things on my nightly routine it’ll probably be like 2, so I need to go to bed now. Goodnight babes. Hope your Monday didn’t suck (is it really still Monday? time isn’t real).