#idk I feel like that’s more true to my aesthetic preferences (for now)

[royalnavyart]

figure studies except it’s all just sergei polunin

[spasticspaceshp]

Idk who's going to bother to read this rant but maybe someone will and relate to some parts of it so here goes.

The asexual and aromantic experience is wild when you have nothing but love to give.

For context, I generally don't use any specific labels because it's just a lot of work to explain, but using the more generic ones, I know a few things about myself.

I'm non-binary, polyamorous, and land *somewhere* on the ace and aro spectrums. I only use pangender as a term cuz I'm biased to the flag. It looks pretty, and it's close enough. I've debated if I'm trans, but I'm not uncomfortable in my body so I haven't bothered to pursue anything, and I'm only ace/aro because there is just a complete lack of drive/attraction/instinct whatever it can be called, in my body and psyche. I am a soul in a vessel here to experience things, but attraction is not one of them, apparently.

I'm a sex positive ace though. And I know all the technical terms I fall into but it's just complicated. I don't really use any kind of term for sexual preference, but I know I like men, and can develop sexual attraction under the right circumstances, and I like women aesthetically, but I can't say I'm NOT sexually attracted because I've never been with one. And the weird fear about trying is exactly the same fear I had about men. So ya know.

But I want to love. To be loved and especially to give love in return. I don't make a lot of friends cuz I don't get attached, with the exception of getting adopted, and my best friend who I chose all the way back in 2nd grade. I'm in my early 20s now and her and I live together, so you can see that it means something.

I've also recently started dating this guy who is exactly in the perfect sweet spot of everything I am attracted to, and not just visually. (Who actually cares about appearances anyway?) He's very sweet and kind to me, has a perfect balance of similarities and differences to myself, highly values communication and listens to what I have to say, understands my needs and how I function, and overall matches my energy. (He's very mellow but I'm working to bring out the crazy side I know is in there, lol.) To be honest it's damn near one of those too good to be true things. He's also poly, not entirely cis, and completely embraces my gender identity, or lack thereof. He's devoted and healthily obsessive and possessive and it's mutual. We also completely agree on our stances about kids and marriage, which is that we want neither. (At least not getting married on paper, he absolutely wants to wife me and I'm not mad about it.)

What makes me feel almost guilty, or honestly more like I'm defective, is that he's had all these realizations and transcendent moments that you would expect out of finding the person you're meant to be with. But I haven't. Don't get me wrong, I completely share the sentiments, I want him just as much as he wants me, and the devotion is mutual, I just haven't felt it. I know I love him, I know that I'm happy, I know that what we have is extremely promising and healthy. I just feel like I'm missing what everyone else gets to experience. I've talked about it with him too and he's so very understanding. Maybe I'm just terrified of myself. That I'll ruin it without even knowing, simply because I'm not designed to have this. I also know that thinking that is bad for manifesting.

Like just listen. (I'm also into witchcraft and astrology,) And my literal human design works against some of the things I want. I want to sleep next to him, all the time, but I have genuine trouble sleeping next to another person even just in the same bed as me, let alone within elbow distance. Sometimes it's hard if they're even in the same room. And that fact was literally stated in one of my readings. There's something in my autistic little brain that can't seem to let my breathing match theirs, and it's a natural thing for humans to do, but it somehow drives me crazy. I want to kiss and hold and have sex and all those things, but I'm difficult. Finding satisfaction in intimacy is a literal challenge, even with help from toys or other stimulus. He's been so patient and understanding with that too and it's done wonders for the shame trauma I grew up with, but it's also just frustrating, because I feel constantly inadequate or like I'll accidentally give off the impression that he's not enough. And that's not true. (Even if there's some things he could stand to learn.) It's all just that typical asexual "I feel broken" kind of angst. But it's still a very real experience that haunts me. I'd love to believe that going on T would fix me, but I know it's not true.

Honestly I kinda lost where I meant to go with this. It's very TMI, but he says I feel like home to him, and while I don't think I feel the same thing, wording wise, we both agree that even though it's been almost 3 months, it feels like we've known each other for forever. Please excuse me for being a sap but genuinely I'm like, yah I found it. Cliché romance novel shit and everything. It's been very soft and comfortable so far. I still have to egg him into actually biting me like he means it, but at least I know I'm safe with him. He lets me show a bit of dominance too, so there's not any kind of power imbalance, and I'm so very excited for whatever future we get to have.

Idk. I think I had a lot of other sappy poetic shit to say that I forgot about, but I guess the overall message is that when you know what you want, it doesn't matter if you're ace, aro, anything in between, or nothing at all, you can find the love you're looking for. Have some faith in yourself. You're not broken, you're not missing anything. Whatever kinds of relationships you have, platonic or romantic or anything else, the right people do exist. You just have to first be sure of yourself, and sure of what you're looking for.

Yada yada yada, I'm gonna go take a nap.

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[ari-kari]

hey. gnarly gender stuff below. wouldn’t recommend reading if you are triggered by gender doubt, detransition, sexuality, negative body talk, and surgical malfeasance. oh and also light gore. sorry it’s going to get kind of weird

so I’ve been quietly stepping away from id’ing as trans for a while now. which is a subject that probably needs its own post, all things considered. but there’s one aspect of my (de)transition that is causing an enormous amount of stress in my life, and I’m genuinely not sure how to handle it. so I figured blabbing about it here might help me get some clarity.

anyways. let’s talk titties.

my first top surgery in 2022 was botched. dog ears, massive janky nipples, bizarre incision site choices - it was a whole deal. I got a revision last year (from the same surgeon lmao) that fixed a lot of things, but unfortunately it made other problems significantly worse. So while aesthetically things are much better than they used to be, I still consider myself to be botched. I haven’t taken my top off in public since it happened, and I don’t see myself doing so any time soon.

For a long time, I assumed that this was my only problem; some asshole small town doctor had messed up my results, and now I felt uncomfortable in my body. But it slowly began to dawn on me that things were more complicated than that. Because when I imagined myself being intimate with someone with perfect, stellar top surgery results…I still felt horrible. To the point where, even with nipple prosthetics, I haven’t felt comfortable enough to have sex since my revision 9 months ago.

So now we get into the crux of the problem. Which is this - I do not feel desireable without breasts. Not to myself, and not to others. And to be honest, I knew this would be a problem even before I got the surgery, but I went through with it anyways. Because desireability is small potatoes when it comes to the horrors of gender dysphoria, right? In my mind, I was being vain to put my intimacy concerns over the pursuit of my “true self”. Everyone with dysphoria had to “fix” it eventually - I couldn’t just not get top surgery.

But like…fuck, dude. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten top surgery.

I prefer my body without breasts. It feels much more “me”, especially when I’m alone. But I don’t feel hot. I don’t feel fuckable, or beautiful, or attractive. And I’ve been trying to chip away at it in therapy, but I haven’t really put much of a dent in it, and it’s bringing up some really hard questions that I no longer feel capable of ignoring.

Honestly? My confidence in my sexuality is a big fucking deal to me. I’m someone for whom intimacy of all kinds is really important. And even though I know that there are PLENTY of people who find flat chests attractive, I personally do not. And it’s seriously starting to fuck with my head.

Idk man. Insurance is able to cover reconstruction for me due to a federal loophole, but there’s no way in hell they’re going to fix my jacked-up nipples on their own. And I’m seriously beginning to question if a little gender dysphoria might be worth the relief of finally feeling confident in my own skin again. I have a consultation appointment in June, in either case. So in the mean time, I just have to…figure this out. No biggie.

Anyways, that’s my spiel. I’ve been wearing prosthetics for a while now and tolerating them fairly well, but I recognize that having something physically attached to you is a whole other ball game. So we’re just gonna keep on trucking and see what happens 🫠🫠🫠 either way I have a funny feeling that the “perfect” answer I’ve been seeking to this problem does not exist.

[sometransgal]

OK so here's a weird feeling that I'm not sure any other trans girl has. I have a tiny dick. Like, too tiny to use. I feel sometimes that there's a weird expectation (maybe not the right word) that trans girls have large dicks.

Idk, it's a weird. It makes me feel real self conscious. That on top of body image issues and dysphoria makes me feel inadequate. Like I'll never live up to someone's ideal.

Idk this feelsramble. Do you or anyone you know get a similar feeling?

You're sending this to a long time member of the small girldick club so I can very much understand where you're coming from. I've struggled with the same when I was younger and less confident in myself because there can be expectations set on trans women (in certain circles on the internet anyway) to have average to above average cock size.

There is this sort of perfect trans woman image that develops in our communities. It's typically a combination of the aesthetic and personal preferences of the group and more broadly the preferences of the racist patriarchal society we find ourselves in. This is something I've brushed against fairly often. The trans community as a whole has some major issues with plus size trans women, and as a plus size trans woman, it can really mess with your head to not reach that idealised version of trans femininity.

So how do we combat that feeling when it comes to things we cant change like our dick size? Well we let go of the idealised trans woman. We simply stop holding ourselves to the community standards that are hurting us. Instead we hold ourselves to a personal standard. We change the things we can change, whether it be the small everyday things like shaving or the larger scale things like HRT. We try to improve ourselves compared to ourselves. Small steps really add up towards improving the whole, something that's been said and ignored thousands of time but remains nonetheless true in my experience.

That all being said it's not easy to ignore the standards of our community but trust me as a trans woman, nothing is more liberating. We are so heavily policed for our bodies from outside communities it bleeds into our own and we can be fucking awful about it. If you're not a skinny, pretty, passing, white woman then you've definitely felt this. I find it helps to unplug from the internet on the days that the feelings are particularly bad. I like to take that time to go do something that makes me feel pretty or nice. For me its a nice long bath, for you it'll probably be different. The broader community can like what it likes and be what it wants to be, I'm going to be a me that I love.

Now i do also want to take time to deconstruct the whole concept of "small penis bad, big penis good" too. Frankly its all a bit silly to me? Small cocks have perks and downsides, big cocks have different perks and downsides. Neither should dictate desirability because neither is an indicator of sexual performance. Fucking take it from me, I've a tiny dick and I've made thousands of people cum over the years. Sex is so much more about listening to your partner, catering to their tastes, techniques, foreplay, and so much more than fucking penis size. It's very very silly to me personally that bigger is seen as better.

So anyway... in summary of my own rambly answer: Don't try to be the perfect trans woman, be a a better you for you. Whatever that you looks like.

[digiblueslush]

Hello everybody!

My names Rory, and I’m back on tumblr for the bajillionth time and rebranding for the bajillionth time (seriously why did I ever leave in the first place, I love yall)

Anyways… here’s my whole spiel about who I am, what I do, etc.

^^^ where I post from lolz. Anyways, here are the basic stats

Name/what y’all can call me - Rory, Cyber Rory, idk anything else just not any of my old names if you know them

Age - 19

God what else do you put in these OH OMG

Pronouns - irl they/them, online they/it (and ask about neos if interested)

Sexuality/gender identity - i identify as bisexual, abrosexual, and gender-fluid (please do not use he/him or she/her even if I say I feel more masculine/feminine, they/them is always preferred)

What’s my deal - I’m an artist! Previously I never really posted my own stuff, but now I want to start doing that. Obviously I’ll still repost things I like, but it’s not gonna be my whole page lolz. I started taking my art more seriously since I switched my major from marine bio to a double major in art and psych (physics and chem are too hard) I’m currently not in school (I had to withdraw during the middle of my first semester due to mental health issues, but I’m going back this fall! So excited!!)

What kind of art? - glad you asked. Im really into Frutiger aero and cybercore at the moment, so that’s what I usually base my art around, but I really don’t have one set style/“aesthetic” in my art. I go in between Frutiger aero, cybercore, y2k, scene, mizuiro, and basically anything else that I can sneak the color blue in

Other fun things about me

Music I’m into - I don’t mean to be one of those “oh I’m into everything” kind of people, as it’s not fully true, but it’s true like 90% of the time. My favorite genres right now are metal core, emo, whatever Ayesha erotica, millionaires, and slayyyter are, and ambient instrumentals (more specifically cybercore ambience and the little big planet soundtrack) I will not listen to most country, and pop music is very hit or miss, but other than that I usually like everything else. Specific bands I’m into include bad omens, mcr, motionless in white, spiritbox, and pierce the veil

Shows/Animes I’m into - hot take but I really don’t like to watch tv *gasp* I know I know, but it’s so hard for me to start new shows and keep watching them, especially if episodes are longer than 20-30 mins. Even with anime I have a hard time watching shows that I wasn’t into over a year ago. I’m really into JJK, Haikyuu, Yuri on Ice (rip), the aquatope on white sands, and tbhk

Other things I’m into - just gonna dump them all here lolz. Blues clues, Winnie the Pooh, stuffed animals (NOT squishmallows, hot take sorry) deltarune/undertale, sally face, Fran bow, project sekai (forgot to put vocaloid in music lolz), and the ds and Wii era Nintendo

ALMOST DONE

I’ll be setting up either a card or a link tree hopefully soon, but I’m also on TikTok (regretfully) and instagram, both are @/cyber.rory13 if y’all are interested. Eventually I hope to open up commissions and/or a sticker and print shop, but for now I’m waiting til I have more traction on my socials as shops cost money, and I’ve been unemployed since October (starting work in may tho!) so I don’t want to make that investment quite yet. Commissions however, I’m open to the idea of them, so if you are interested feel free to message me and we can talk about details there (they will have to be digital or traditional transferred to digital). And finally, the moment like one of y’all has been waiting for, some of my actual art!

Digital

Traditional

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, my page is a safe place and feel free to reblog really engage anyway if you’d like to be mutuals! Slay queen!!

[artemispt]

Tagged by @mclarensangels @insilanar and @soupra. Thank you 💕(sorry if I forgot someone! I'm struggling to keep up with tag games, but I love being tagged ❤️)

Rules: color stuff that applies to you and then tag your friends

Appearance:

i'm over 5'5" // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // I have had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don't often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards.

Hobbies and talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks.

Relationship:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online.

Aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season.

Miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs.

The purple non-bold options it depends. i have one or more piercings - does the normal lobe ones count? Then I had 2 (one on each ear), but some years ago I started not wearing earrings and now maybe the hole closed? idk, I still didn't try put some earrings on. / i don't often smile - at work yes. outside work no. / i enjoy singing - only in the shower or when the vacuum cleaner is on. / I have read a new book series this year - fanfics count? 🙈 / i enjoy hiking on nature paths - if it's too steep, I'm afraid of falling. / i can drive a stick-shift - I have a drivers license, but I don't drive. Tagging (sorry if you have done this already and please feel free to ignore it): @underatedwords @justdimaprops @c2-eh @jolandax13 @safetycarlando @forza-carlos-sempre @fopzaferrari @fandomchaosposts @ehcahache @carlando @paris-roubaix @landinrris @box-box-blorbos @sainzjpeg @lapdeleted @cookie-mj ok I'll stop tagging people 😂 If you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged ❤️

[recentadultburnout]

get to know me ask game

Tagged by @telomeke , @magpie24601 thanks!

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

I don't dislike tight clothes, but loose clothes will always win.

Four ear piercings. One on the left, three on the right.

I discovered my love for nail polish around five years ago, along with my love for glitter.

It's more that I don't pay much attention to how i look. I can look better or worse, and it won't really affect any aspect of my life, so it's not important.

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

Only two, Thai, my mother tongue, and English. 

I can swim, sure. Not very well, tho. I still remember my PE teacher being, "How can you be this slow?" at an extracurricular event. 

I enjoyed writing those posts about the Thai language and culture a lot more than I expected. I also started writing a fanfic recently, and it feels kind of good. Tbh, going into this, I thought I would be able to enjoy the result but not much the process. But the process is okay too. It's a pleasant surprise, considering that I was a kid who submitted less than 500 words for a 1000-word assignment. 

I can do origami, and I like doing it. I stopped now because it piled up, and since it's made of paper, Idk what I can do with it except just store it in a box. 

I started a new book series. I may or may not finish it by year's end. 

I enjoy spending time with friends. Of course!

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together// I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

I have been single all my life, actually. Not even a single crush. Probably an aro.

Most of my friends are people I've known for more than ten years. I don't know how to make new friends😅

I'm not sure, actually. Maybe? At what point are people considered friends by others?

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

I enjoy all that except bonfires. I have attended bonfires, sure, but it was against my will lol

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

If I don't sleep in a car, chances are I will get car sickness. 

Mexican food is great! It's my favorite way to eat uncooked vegetables. 

If not by making up scenarios, how do you fall asleep? 

I mean, technically? But also not really? I am multiracial in the same way that I believe that if a person is born in a place that is not isolated, then that person must be somewhat mixed. My mom counted back and said she knew for a fact that our family had at least five different ethnicities, but that was quite far back? The closest one is from my grandparents on my dad's side.

Tagging : @shouldiusemyname, @akkrosu, @rocketturtle4, @troubled-mind, @scarefox, @lurkingteapot, @williamrikers, @blmpff, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @airenyah

as I write two posts at the same time, I tag the same people in both posts lol. Everyone, please feel free to ignore one or both.

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

Hey I noticed that u seem insecure ab ur body but usually ppl with ur body type (u said urself that u found it childish/small I think) can wear a lot of things and make it look good/cool/aesthetic, I've noticed this a lot.

Ofc all bodies are great but I just wanted to say that bc I rlly believe u have no reason to feel insecure ab ur body but I hope the way u see urself gets better <3

omg 🥹🥹

why ur so nice?! 🫶🏻 <3 your message brightened my day up a bit, it gave some more confidence

its true, Im kinda insecure about my body & wearing cute/aesthetic things because I look small, thin and I barely have curves. Girls in my age kinda avoid to be with me because I seem too young and ughhhh- they speak in a childish tone with me because I’m the ”little one” (not sarcastic, they probably think speaking like this would make me happy)

on photos I always, like, really, always looked two years younger than my classmates and people say that even my sis -who’s three years younger than me- looks more mature than I. You can imagine how this always pushed me into an inferior role :/

and over the years it really frustrates and gave me many complexes (Minderwertigkeitskomplexe- idk how to explain in English) especially now in puberty- I feel like on my lowest point mentally

so, well, today I wore a cute aesthetic kinda tight outfit and it felt somehow intimidating. Though I know it’s all in my psyche and people actually don’t care about my looks!! The inner negative voices cant leave meeeee

I’m doing my best

thank you again, I wanted to say <3

forget about the optical preferences of boys and focus on your own well-being ❣️

[thegoodceai]

afddighadfi <3333 sending all the hearts <33, sry for the late reply I had a Long Time at work but I had read your message and was also liek *twirling hair, kicking feet* trying to think of a fitting response !

Letsgo!! IF is soo good, I need to get more into IF if anything. Fallen Hero is Top Tier. Got a top three IF? And Nice! U a player or dming for them?

Aww! I'd love to know any info about her! Plz feel free to yell at me about her. Wuts her (current) name, design?, sign, The Demons (the story ur putting her through lol).

Bro! I've relatively done the same, I had waited so long to play Retri, wut ending did u get 👀👀👀. Ortega is just 😩😩😩

I hadn't heard of her nor the song, but checking it out I can definitely see why it's been on repeat <333.

We love little sharp bbies <3. Do u have a preference for color? Got a name picked out already lol?

Fair Enough, least they chase u with a stake. The Aesthetic and Seduction are unmatched I will give em that ;p. Oh! I know Of the series, but next to nothing what its about, wuts it about/what drew you into it? ((I know I could Google it, butt any excuse to get you to chat/yell more <3))

Thank you for replying to all my random questions lol. Been following for a long time, and in my mind ur already a Friend :))))

<3333 sending all the good vibes, i know we've been mutuals for a while and truly the one reaction i have every time we interact is Friend!!!!!

i am DMing for my friends, it was the only way to get them to play. i started out with only 2 players, just for some light fun, but i ended up with 5 now and a whole homebrew campaign that they can play around in and so far they do seem to be enjoying being chaotic gremlins with the side of Mystery Plot i threw at them

IF is amazing, i love the versatility of the format. idk if i could pick a true top 3, but for ones in progress ones i keep going back and replaying there's A Tale of Crowns (a favorite and one of the first ones i played, like 2 years ago when it was first released), Project Hadea, and Attolo. i love all of them dearly and cannot wait to see how they end up. for finished ones, i loveeeee Way Walkers University (i feel like it's so underrated, but i really like the style it is written in and how well developed the world of it is, there just so much and the variations you can play are huge), The Passenger (Roach my beloved), and i really liked I, The Forgotten One (been following this one before it was published, and it's truly not everyones' cup, but i found it compelling)

the story i'm working on is kind of fantasy adventure, heavily based on mythology and folklore (specifically romanian one), and i am planning to like, make it public at some point this year (still ironing and detailing some stuff, but the bones are solid, it's been rooting around in my brain for A While). the main cast are all variations of very very old ocs i have (originally for another story sort of in the same vein, but i'd like to think i grew a bit as a writer and they're more put together now, as well as the story itself). so imma hold on to the details about this whole thing for now but aaah thank u for being interested in it <3333

aah first ending i got was accident as sidestep, stayed as sidestep, and got the whole old gang involved in breaking them out of the hospital. i've been playing sidestep as a reluctant villain that's gunning for justice/exposing what the Powers That Be are actually up to (anarchist villain baby), all while being friendly with the Rangers and ended up keeping the cover so none of them know about the villain sidegig lmao. been trying to psych myself to play a fully evil sidestep but. it's hard. and i loooove playing reluctant and tired mcs that are done with everything but ultimately will do the right thing at any cost (tragic heroes my beloved)

16 year old me would have given anything to have a black cat named either Loki or Thanatos and you know what? they were right. but in reality i will probably just end up adopting a bunch of stray animals and naming them like. normal human names. or food names (i am very fond of the name Clementine, but it is kind of a mouthful)

lmao i remember next to nothing of the series, i've read it forever ago (i was like, maybe 13?? when i got the first book). all i remember was that i liked Sookie very much at the time. it was i think the first like, adult book series i read and it was fascinating to my young brain, seeing a fully developed female main character being badass and resourceful and kinda doing her own thing (the series is from her perspective, so that was also kind of novel at the time, after reading a lot of like, classical literature and school stuff). idk if i'd recommend it now, but it was definitely formative for me. it's also the series that got me into like, modern fantasy (both reading and writing it)

[s0urb33f]

I feel like no one is like me.

I’m sure that’s not true, but what gets circulated in media, I never see anyone like me.

Almost a year and a half ago now, I started really questioning my gender. I didn’t understand why when I finally was in a relationship with a woman who really loved and adored me, why I felt disgusting every time she looked at me. So about 9 months ago I started telling select people I was non-binary. I kept questioning my gender as there were and are things I feel that I don’t quite understand what they mean for me.

I’ve always wanted to be “cool” and “masculine” but also be pretty. I never wanted someone to look at me and see a woman, but all the men I see are such manly men. They have big rippling muscles or bushy beards. They have traditionally masculine clothing preferences and strong features. These are all fine for them, but I can’t really relate.

I am pretty alternative with my aesthetics. Black clothes, piercings, dyed hair, ect. I know there are fellow edgelords out there who are also trans, but I hardly see them. I know there are gender nonconforming trans guys, but where are they? Where are the ethereal fairy-like transmen?

I keep searching for validation because something isn’t aligning with my gender for me, but I don’t follow a lot of the stereotypes that bring other transmen together. I know that being the hyper masculine trope doesn’t have to be what I want, but it still makes me question myself.

Do all girls see themselves as guy characters in media? Do they get the ick when they’re in the all girls group yet for some reason people see them as a girl too? Does it feel like they’re breaking stereotypes by wearing cute clothes and makeup? What about fantasizing about when teaching their children life lessons, idk who they’re doing it as but it sure as hell isn’t as their mom? Maybe they’re the uncle, idk? Do they only date women, but then also get the ick to say they’re a lesbian? (Also not talking about lesbians being ick- just it doesn’t feel right to use that for me) That prolly means something, right?

I have to wait until march to apply for insurance, and then once approved, I want to talk to a therapist about this stuff. It’s not terribly far off at this point, but man is it agonizing feeling so terrible and unsure about myself- especially because I’ve been all alone in these struggles.

I just wish I had someone to talk to- to help me through until I can talk to a therapist. But all of this is so isolating and the more I discover about myself, the less and less I can relate to others and the less they care.

[florahydevt]

Get to Know Me tag game!!

tagged by my wonderful boy @torstenerikssonvt

RULES: bold the ones that are true and tag people to do it.

APPEARANCE

Blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo //I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery* // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

*idk if it counts as plastic surgery seeing as it wasn't for aesthetic choices as much as mobility purposes, but as a kid I had a reconstructive surgery on my left shoulder due to Erb's Palsy (also during said surgery I had a horrible allergic reaction to the anesthesia and ended up flat lining lol)

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language* // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing* //I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing* // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year// I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

First *: I took Spanish for three years in high school, forgot most of it, and am slowly regaining my knowledge thanks to my coworkers who only speak Spanish. All of that to say, I sound like a moron but I can get my point across. Lo siento orz

Second *: Literally my favorite thing in the world and the one thing I feel confident in.

Third *: Thanks to being pushed into choir (and by extension drama) classes my entire school career, I fell out of love with singing for many years. But now I belt out my fav songs like Patti Lupone without the talent and enjoy the hell out of myself lol

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend* // I met up with someone I have met online

*I've made many and I love all of you <3

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

tagging @m1lk-ch3rry @dollymollynanika and @keiirisruevt !!!

[fxirybun]

too damn true!!! i also feel like with ur last point that ppl dont seem to remember as easily compared to previous times? for instance whenever theres a "new" tiktok trend i look at it and realise its not actually "new" just something that the newer generations seem to think they created or made it new again.

its like kids or teens nowadays are so focused on their online life that they forget things have been done before in a less than new way so to see aesthetics that have been around long before thenselves come back as an aesthetic more than a lifestyle baffles me. particularly with y2k, not only do the 00s feel too long ago ngl we had so much good stuff but its like if you search it on youtube all ppl say is how trashy it was just because they didnt live in the era of it or they put an importance of aesthetics without realising they really wouldnt cope without the internet but its more so they prefer how something looks from that era, than anything else, i dont think anyones whos chronically online (myself included) would realistically want to have zero internet in current times it really gives fomo honestly its so bad.

if u arent doing what everyone else is doing its so bad making us feel further behind bc time aint slowing down for nobody. we 30 somethings had a lot too but i feel that gen z just dont realise the difference in society between then and now and it seems vastly different i cant explain it? thats why i feel like we were in some sort of time alteration device in or around 2019 cause nothings felt normal since then and even ppls behaviours and just the way they "think" has been altered so much and it always has to accomodate to whatever is going on both online and irl, the fact we have to try to mentally separate the online version from our physical selves is bonkers. thats whag i mean its totally different and idk if its a good kind of different or bad. im even seeing this crop up with new generation kpop groups and my faves ultimately they still are very much chronically online even if they are on a break. its actually hard to keep up with this stuff going on all the time hbu?

that reminded me of the whole baggy jeans & flared jeans trend and how my mom told me that these jeans used to put a chokehold on them back in the 90s lol. we be following the 3 Rs rules 😆 : reduce , reuse , recycle.

well.. if the shoes fit , fits them 🤷‍♀️ and the majority of teens are usually in their experimenting phase wherein they get to try new things that they're curious about. been there , done that ◔_◔ an example would be my little brother who's in his mid-teen years. he's experimenting with some clothes and would mix n match them cuz it's "trendy". i find his fashion questionable because of the layered tops and pants he's wearing 😭 like bro it's freakin hot outside and you're going to wear that ?? tho i'm not gonna stop him , letting him explore and find his niche (˘̩̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)

you know the whole "emo phase" back in the early 2000s and how people would throw shade on it ? well surprise surprise cuz tara yummy , johnnie guilbert , and jake webster are trending , and how their goth / emo fashion is making its way on trends.

gen z's are individuals who aren't afraid to express their opinions and are pretty much self-aware as to what's going on in this world. i find it admirable because their voices are being used to change the current societal expectations of what the govt or any politician had established.

i do feel that the whole pandemic was a major catalyst for all of us and how everything seems to be happening too fast. but i kid you not with this one cuz some of the millennials and gen x peeps i know irl has been noticing how we gen z's have no presence in mind and that we have short attention spans 😭

well , they're right with that one cuz i noticed it from my blockmates , the younger students , and my skibidi toilet siblings. and you shouldn't feel bad about not being able to catch up cuz i'm on the same page as you lmao ( T_T)＼(^-^ ) i had no idea what a "fanum tax" meant not until my little brother who's a gen alpha told me its meaning 💀 there's a new wave of slangs too and how i was left in confucius at first but i got a hold on it over time.

[sleepyboy-stuff]

i don't really have the attention span to do 30-day challenges, so im just gonna answer all these at once!! hidden under a read more cause its kinda long hehe

What age range and/or pet do you regress to?

i dont often feel i have a set age range when i'm little, but id put it at around 3-5 years-- i do experience things from younger and older age ranges, though. im also a puppy!

Do you have or want a caregiver?

i dont have one, but i absolutely want one someday

Do you prefer to regress alone or with sibbies?

i dont have any sibbies, but if i did i would like regressing with them i think. im always so bored when i regress because i dont have much to do but scroll online, so having someone to hang out with would be cool!

What is your favorite outdoor activity when regressed?

i haven't really been regressed while outside before, so im not sure. ive always been a fan of swingsets though!

What is your favorite indoor activity when regressed?

i like watching tv!! it always helps me feel smaller to watch a show made for kids, especially the really good shows that are fun for kids and adults like spongebob, bluey, n pocoyo!

What is your favorite color? Does it change when you regress?

big and small, my favorite is blue!

What is your favorite TV show/Movie genre? Does it change when you regress?

when i'm big, i dont really have a favorite; i can enjoy media from nearly any genre. i am somewhat partial to comedies though, so that would come the closest. as for when im little, uhhh, i think "for kids" counts as a genre so i'd just say that.

What is your favorite cartoon / show when regressed?

this is tough, but probably spongebob squarepants! at least thats my answer off the top of my head!

Do you own any regression gear? 

i do! i have a pacifier, a blue one with a blueberry cow center and a little milk bottle charm hanging off it! its super cute, and i got it from PaciParlor on etsy! they dont seem to be currently selling, but if/when they open back up id recommend checkin em out!! they sell a ton of cute pacis :3

What helps you regress?

age dreaming is a big thing for sure, and i like scrolling thru the agere tag here on tumblr as well. and agere headcanons/fanfics, cant forget those!

Do your pronouns change when you regress?

i dont think so! my pronouns are he/it both big and little, though i havent had the chance to experiment with it before so im not 100% sure

Do you have a diffrent clothing style when regressed?

definitely. when im big i lean towards the punk/grunge aesthetic, lots of black and dark themes, but when im little i like wearing lighter, comfy clothes, like kids do.

Do you play video games when regressed? If so what is your favorite game?

i dont have a ton of games, but id probably say minecraft, its my favorite game when im big too!

Do you have a favorite blanket/stuffie/item when you regress? If so, what is it?

my #1 favorite stuffie is my Golden Freddy plush from Sanshee! i love him so much <3333

Do you caregiver or babysit as well as regress?

ive never been a full caregiver, but i dont mind having to babysit; ive been told im really good with kids, although idk how true that really is hah

Is your regression voluntary, involuntary, or a mix both?

voluntary i think!

How long have you been regressing?

i havent really been keeping track, but my very first post on my agere blog is from oct 29th, 2022, so it's been nearly two years now!!

Do you like petnames/nicknames when regressed?

absolutely!! i like most of the basic ones like sweetheart and kiddo, but i also dont mind more personal ones, and ive always liked "pup" too!

What's your favorite regression snack?

huh,,, im not too sure actually! maybe milk and cookies?

What's your favorite meal when regressed?

these food questions are kind of hard to answer, because i so this thing where i fixate on a certain food and eat nothing but that for months, and then eventually switch to another food and do it all over again, so my favorite foods are always changing throughout the year.

that being said, my current fixation food is milk and cookies, so, ill go with that !

What's your favorite beverage when regressed?

mmmm choccy milk

What is your favorite outfit/clothes when regressed?

i dont have a ton of clothes that match my regression aesthetic, but probably this nice lil kirby shirt that i happen to be wearing as im typing this. its primarily cream-colored, with a bunch of kirbys on the front!

What's your personality like when regressed? Is it different from when you're big?

i get very silly and soft when regressed, and also really desperate for attention. im also somewhat low energy i think? i dont get hyped up often, i just wanna cuddle n nap :D

Are you superstitious when you're regressed?

ive actually never thought about this before! i dont think i am? i basically hold the same stance i do about superstitions when im big, which is that ill comply with them for silly reasons but dont actually believe in them.

What kind of music do you like when regressed? Is it different from when you're big?

i like happy, silly music that gets me in a fun mood more than anything else, it just makes me feel good!! im especially geared towards happy vocaloid songs like popipo, teto territory, electric angel, and atta kaito! i also like music box songs/covers, for when im feeling calmer/sleepy :]

Do you like crafting when regressed?

i like to think i would, but i dont do a lot of arts n crafts projects, regardless of if im big or small. i should get around to trying some though, they were fun when i was a kid!

Are you more sentimental when regressed or not regressed?

hmmm, id say when im regressed? its a really close call though.

Is there anything you wish you could do when regressed that you can't currently?

uhh, i dunno! maybe going outside? i kind of worry about being unsafe if i go outside regressed and alone, but if i went with a caregiver i would probably be a lot less anxious about it.

Does anyone IRL know about your regression?

my mom does, but she doesnt really talk about it much. im not so sure she likes that i regress, but i dont really wanna approach her about it, so i try to keep it somewhat away from her.

Do you like going places when regressed? If so, what's your favorate place to go?

as i said before, i dont really go outside when regressed :(

Do you have fictional caregivers? If so, who? 

YES, absolutely!! my mains are markus from detroit: become human and sun from five nights at freddys: security breach, but ive been tempted to add wolverine (from x-men) to the list as well recently, hes been showing up more and more often in my daydreams. also, honorable mention to hatsune miku, i dont think of her as a caregiver as often as the others mentioned but shes still so comforting, like a best friend whos always there for you.

thank you for making this challenge, these were fun to answer!!

Obe's 31 days of age/pet regression <3

I tried to make it as inclusive of little ages and genders as possible!

What age range and/or pet do you regress to?

Do you have or want a caregiver?

Do you prefer to regress alone or with sibbies?

What is your favorate outdoor activity when regressed?

What is your favorate indoor activity when regressed?

What is your favorate color? Does it change when you regress?

What is your favorate TV show/Movie genre? Does it change when you regress?

What is your favorate cartoon / show when regressed?

Do you own any regression gear?

What helps you regress?

Do your pronouns change when you regress?

Do you have a diffrent clothing style when regressed?

Do you play Video Games when regressed? If so what is your favorate game?

Do you have a favorate blanket/stuffie/item when you regress? If so, what is it?

Do you caregiver or babysit as well as regress?

Is your regression voulentary, invoulentary, or a mix both?

How long have you been regressing?

Do you like petnames/nicknames when regressed?

What's your favorate regression snack?

What's your favorate meal when regressed?

What's your favorate bevrage when regressed?

What is your favorate outfit/clothes when regressed?

What's your personality like when regressed? Is it diffrent from when you're big?

Are you supersticious when you're regressed?

What kind of music do you like when regressed? Is it diffrent from when you're big?

Do you like crafting when regressed?

Are you more sentimental when regressed or not regressed?

Is there anything you wish you could do when regressed that you can't currently?

Does anyone IRL know about your regression?

Do you like going places when regressed? If so, what's your favorate place to go?

Do you have fictional caregivers? If so, who?

Tagging my freinds to maybe make this a challange! @bigbrotherstriker @pwincess-charchar @roses-n-remoras @littlerunawaytrinket @duckciferthecg @littlesystem

[jaylaxies]

ion play sports but i have a bachelors in dance. i kinda wanna go to st. stephens because of legacy 🙄 but i'd actually prefer lsr.

bro i feel like us brown girls know what real pretty privilege is cause we experience both sides of the spectrum. like the diff in the way people treated me pre and post puberty is insane. i mean now they let me cut cues, barge into lines, i can be like really bitchy and get away with it, it's 100 times easier to make friends, everybody is just genuinely nicer. i'm really talkative and earlier it used to piss people off but now they wanna sit and listen and everybody just values your opinion more when you're pretty. back when i was "aesthetically challenged", i could see people getting pissed whenever i asked them for favours or any sort of help but now they just straight up offer, i don't have to ask. those boys literally gave up their own paper in a competitive exam to help me with mine.

DANCE?? THATS SO SO COOL i admire that a lot (me who dances in my room) no but that’s actually so true, i find it really weird how things have progressed but i think it’s for the better (at least for me) cause i’m the one who doesn’t initiate conversations and it feels good to see that people still talk to me and WTH those boys really sound whipped girlie how pretty are you 😭✋🏼

also omg it’s north vs south campus atp,, are you gonna join the dance team too? idk which college has the best dance team but i’ve seen khalsa slay it with bhangra 😋

[geekgirles]

Hi, so this may be very personal and I’ll understand if you don’t wanna answer this. But recently I have figured out I’m aroace, but.. I have questions like... am I “worthy” enough? Can I rlly identify as those? I like a boy and like how we’re kinda dating rn, but I don’t LOVE love him- am I still an aro? I don’t rlly despise sex and I actually like to read it- am I still an ace?

I’m a cis straight woman (which is why the “worthy” enough) and idk how it works and I’m so sorry for sending you this but you’re one of the few I’ve ever seen to speak abt aroace and I feel very insecure and high anxiety abt this. Again, I know it’s kinda unfair to you to just ask these, so I totally understand if you dont answer this. Thank you though!

Hope you’re having a nice day/ night! ☺️

Hi there!

First of all, don't worry. I think it's actually more personal to you than it is for me. So I don't mind at all.

You should know that I perfectly understand how you're feeling. I, too, sometimes wonder if I'm worthy enough of being ace. As a matter of fact, that's something I've wanted to talk about for a long time but never really had the chance. Thank you for providing it.

I personally associate my own feelings of unworthiness to the stigma (?) surrounding phases. Like, "what if I'm really just going through a phase? Isn't that disrespectful of true asexuals or other LGBTQIA+?"

That's how I've been feeling for a while.

I always say I've been identifying as asexual since I was 14, because it's true! But my lack of experience in romantic or sexual relationships makes me wonder if I truly am ace or if I'm just lacking enough facts to form a proper opinion.

I mean, I might not really react to "hot" people (I mostly just have the aesthetic appreciation), but I don't even know my romantic orientation. I've never even had a crush in my live, and the sole idea scares the shit outta me, but deep down I would like to experience a relationship. Because of that I don't really identify as aro; I don't know, it just doesn't feel right, you know? Not like calling myself asexual feels right for me.

That being said, despite my doubts, I also understand that things aren't black or white. Life is an unpredictable, never-ending journey of selfdiscovery. It's full of nuance and contradictions. And that's not necessarily bad!

If you want my honest opinion, I do believe you're both ace and aro.

Inside each sexual orientation there's a whole world of possibilities!!

For example, you say you like a boy and you're sort of dating him, right? Well, that's perfectly possible. I don't think I can find it right now, but there's this comic detailing different aspects of being aro, and one of these experiences say, "I really like you platonically. Can we date?"

It seems to me that's what you're going through.

Just because you're aro, it doesn't mean you can't date! Hell, there's this thing you might know about called "queerplatonic partners."

Basically, that's what happens when friends decide to do things that you'd normally expect from couples (especially MARRIED ones) together. Such as living together or having kids. But you are still just friends.

Also, you can be cishet and still be queer, you know that, right? I mean, nothing is set in stone! There's lots of people who, for example, identify as asexual lesbians/gays, etc. There's more than one way of doing things, if you know what I mean.

Now, you said you like reading about sex?

Sugar, so do I. And, again, proud asexual since I was 14 here!

FYI, I like reading about sex, but I hate watching sex scenes. No matter the gender of the characters, I just can't. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. And actually listening to moaning?!? Dude, just kill me now.

That's a good part of the reason why I prefer watching cartoons or comedies over live-action and dramas. As a hopeless romantic (see? Another contradiction), I get my much needed dose of heartwarming interactions without having to watch people intertwining limbs and panting.

Also...reading allows me to...control the intensity, so to speak. As in, I decide what I want to picture in my brain. Sex on TV forces me to watch exactly what the directors want me to. And, no thanks.

Oh, and just so you know, being asexual doesn't necessarily mean you despise sex. True, there are asexuals who are sex-repulsed, but many others are okay with sex, it's just...not a top priority, you know? And both ways of being are perfectly valid.

Now, tell me. After everything I've said, do you think I'm unworthy of calling myself an asexual? Because I personally don't think you're unworthy of calling yourself aroace.

Your life, your identity, is a journey only you can find the answers to. Experiences aren't universal, and there isn't one more valid than the rest. You do you.