#idk I feel like that’s more true to my aesthetic preferences (for now)

[royalnavyart]

figure studies except it’s all just sergei polunin

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[ari-kari]

hey. gnarly gender stuff below. wouldn’t recommend reading if you are triggered by gender doubt, detransition, sexuality, negative body talk, and surgical malfeasance. oh and also light gore. sorry it’s going to get kind of weird

so I’ve been quietly stepping away from id’ing as trans for a while now. which is a subject that probably needs its own post, all things considered. but there’s one aspect of my (de)transition that is causing an enormous amount of stress in my life, and I’m genuinely not sure how to handle it. so I figured blabbing about it here might help me get some clarity.

anyways. let’s talk titties.

my first top surgery in 2022 was botched. dog ears, massive janky nipples, bizarre incision site choices - it was a whole deal. I got a revision last year (from the same surgeon lmao) that fixed a lot of things, but unfortunately it made other problems significantly worse. So while aesthetically things are much better than they used to be, I still consider myself to be botched. I haven’t taken my top off in public since it happened, and I don’t see myself doing so any time soon.

For a long time, I assumed that this was my only problem; some asshole small town doctor had messed up my results, and now I felt uncomfortable in my body. But it slowly began to dawn on me that things were more complicated than that. Because when I imagined myself being intimate with someone with perfect, stellar top surgery results…I still felt horrible. To the point where, even with nipple prosthetics, I haven’t felt comfortable enough to have sex since my revision 9 months ago.

So now we get into the crux of the problem. Which is this - I do not feel desireable without breasts. Not to myself, and not to others. And to be honest, I knew this would be a problem even before I got the surgery, but I went through with it anyways. Because desireability is small potatoes when it comes to the horrors of gender dysphoria, right? In my mind, I was being vain to put my intimacy concerns over the pursuit of my “true self”. Everyone with dysphoria had to “fix” it eventually - I couldn’t just not get top surgery.

But like…fuck, dude. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten top surgery.

I prefer my body without breasts. It feels much more “me”, especially when I’m alone. But I don’t feel hot. I don’t feel fuckable, or beautiful, or attractive. And I’ve been trying to chip away at it in therapy, but I haven’t really put much of a dent in it, and it’s bringing up some really hard questions that I no longer feel capable of ignoring.

Honestly? My confidence in my sexuality is a big fucking deal to me. I’m someone for whom intimacy of all kinds is really important. And even though I know that there are PLENTY of people who find flat chests attractive, I personally do not. And it’s seriously starting to fuck with my head.

Idk man. Insurance is able to cover reconstruction for me due to a federal loophole, but there’s no way in hell they’re going to fix my jacked-up nipples on their own. And I’m seriously beginning to question if a little gender dysphoria might be worth the relief of finally feeling confident in my own skin again. I have a consultation appointment in June, in either case. So in the mean time, I just have to…figure this out. No biggie.

Anyways, that’s my spiel. I’ve been wearing prosthetics for a while now and tolerating them fairly well, but I recognize that having something physically attached to you is a whole other ball game. So we’re just gonna keep on trucking and see what happens 🫠🫠🫠 either way I have a funny feeling that the “perfect” answer I’ve been seeking to this problem does not exist.

[sometransgal]

OK so here's a weird feeling that I'm not sure any other trans girl has. I have a tiny dick. Like, too tiny to use. I feel sometimes that there's a weird expectation (maybe not the right word) that trans girls have large dicks.

Idk, it's a weird. It makes me feel real self conscious. That on top of body image issues and dysphoria makes me feel inadequate. Like I'll never live up to someone's ideal.

Idk this feelsramble. Do you or anyone you know get a similar feeling?

You're sending this to a long time member of the small girldick club so I can very much understand where you're coming from. I've struggled with the same when I was younger and less confident in myself because there can be expectations set on trans women (in certain circles on the internet anyway) to have average to above average cock size.

There is this sort of perfect trans woman image that develops in our communities. It's typically a combination of the aesthetic and personal preferences of the group and more broadly the preferences of the racist patriarchal society we find ourselves in. This is something I've brushed against fairly often. The trans community as a whole has some major issues with plus size trans women, and as a plus size trans woman, it can really mess with your head to not reach that idealised version of trans femininity.

So how do we combat that feeling when it comes to things we cant change like our dick size? Well we let go of the idealised trans woman. We simply stop holding ourselves to the community standards that are hurting us. Instead we hold ourselves to a personal standard. We change the things we can change, whether it be the small everyday things like shaving or the larger scale things like HRT. We try to improve ourselves compared to ourselves. Small steps really add up towards improving the whole, something that's been said and ignored thousands of time but remains nonetheless true in my experience.

That all being said it's not easy to ignore the standards of our community but trust me as a trans woman, nothing is more liberating. We are so heavily policed for our bodies from outside communities it bleeds into our own and we can be fucking awful about it. If you're not a skinny, pretty, passing, white woman then you've definitely felt this. I find it helps to unplug from the internet on the days that the feelings are particularly bad. I like to take that time to go do something that makes me feel pretty or nice. For me its a nice long bath, for you it'll probably be different. The broader community can like what it likes and be what it wants to be, I'm going to be a me that I love.

Now i do also want to take time to deconstruct the whole concept of "small penis bad, big penis good" too. Frankly its all a bit silly to me? Small cocks have perks and downsides, big cocks have different perks and downsides. Neither should dictate desirability because neither is an indicator of sexual performance. Fucking take it from me, I've a tiny dick and I've made thousands of people cum over the years. Sex is so much more about listening to your partner, catering to their tastes, techniques, foreplay, and so much more than fucking penis size. It's very very silly to me personally that bigger is seen as better.

So anyway... in summary of my own rambly answer: Don't try to be the perfect trans woman, be a a better you for you. Whatever that you looks like.

[digiblueslush]

Hello everybody!

My names Rory, and I’m back on tumblr for the bajillionth time and rebranding for the bajillionth time (seriously why did I ever leave in the first place, I love yall)

Anyways… here’s my whole spiel about who I am, what I do, etc.

^^^ where I post from lolz. Anyways, here are the basic stats

Name/what y’all can call me - Rory, Cyber Rory, idk anything else just not any of my old names if you know them

Age - 19

God what else do you put in these OH OMG

Pronouns - irl they/them, online they/it (and ask about neos if interested)

Sexuality/gender identity - i identify as bisexual, abrosexual, and gender-fluid (please do not use he/him or she/her even if I say I feel more masculine/feminine, they/them is always preferred)

What’s my deal - I’m an artist! Previously I never really posted my own stuff, but now I want to start doing that. Obviously I’ll still repost things I like, but it’s not gonna be my whole page lolz. I started taking my art more seriously since I switched my major from marine bio to a double major in art and psych (physics and chem are too hard) I’m currently not in school (I had to withdraw during the middle of my first semester due to mental health issues, but I’m going back this fall! So excited!!)

What kind of art? - glad you asked. Im really into Frutiger aero and cybercore at the moment, so that’s what I usually base my art around, but I really don’t have one set style/“aesthetic” in my art. I go in between Frutiger aero, cybercore, y2k, scene, mizuiro, and basically anything else that I can sneak the color blue in

Other fun things about me

Music I’m into - I don’t mean to be one of those “oh I’m into everything” kind of people, as it’s not fully true, but it’s true like 90% of the time. My favorite genres right now are metal core, emo, whatever Ayesha erotica, millionaires, and slayyyter are, and ambient instrumentals (more specifically cybercore ambience and the little big planet soundtrack) I will not listen to most country, and pop music is very hit or miss, but other than that I usually like everything else. Specific bands I’m into include bad omens, mcr, motionless in white, spiritbox, and pierce the veil

Shows/Animes I’m into - hot take but I really don’t like to watch tv *gasp* I know I know, but it’s so hard for me to start new shows and keep watching them, especially if episodes are longer than 20-30 mins. Even with anime I have a hard time watching shows that I wasn’t into over a year ago. I’m really into JJK, Haikyuu, Yuri on Ice (rip), the aquatope on white sands, and tbhk

Other things I’m into - just gonna dump them all here lolz. Blues clues, Winnie the Pooh, stuffed animals (NOT squishmallows, hot take sorry) deltarune/undertale, sally face, Fran bow, project sekai (forgot to put vocaloid in music lolz), and the ds and Wii era Nintendo

ALMOST DONE

I’ll be setting up either a card or a link tree hopefully soon, but I’m also on TikTok (regretfully) and instagram, both are @/cyber.rory13 if y’all are interested. Eventually I hope to open up commissions and/or a sticker and print shop, but for now I’m waiting til I have more traction on my socials as shops cost money, and I’ve been unemployed since October (starting work in may tho!) so I don’t want to make that investment quite yet. Commissions however, I’m open to the idea of them, so if you are interested feel free to message me and we can talk about details there (they will have to be digital or traditional transferred to digital). And finally, the moment like one of y’all has been waiting for, some of my actual art!

Digital

Traditional

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, my page is a safe place and feel free to reblog really engage anyway if you’d like to be mutuals! Slay queen!!

[artemispt]

Tagged by @mclarensangels @insilanar and @soupra. Thank you 💕(sorry if I forgot someone! I'm struggling to keep up with tag games, but I love being tagged ❤️)

Rules: color stuff that applies to you and then tag your friends

Appearance:

i'm over 5'5" // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // I have had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don't often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards.

Hobbies and talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks.

Relationship:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online.

Aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season.

Miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs.

The purple non-bold options it depends. i have one or more piercings - does the normal lobe ones count? Then I had 2 (one on each ear), but some years ago I started not wearing earrings and now maybe the hole closed? idk, I still didn't try put some earrings on. / i don't often smile - at work yes. outside work no. / i enjoy singing - only in the shower or when the vacuum cleaner is on. / I have read a new book series this year - fanfics count? 🙈 / i enjoy hiking on nature paths - if it's too steep, I'm afraid of falling. / i can drive a stick-shift - I have a drivers license, but I don't drive. Tagging (sorry if you have done this already and please feel free to ignore it): @underatedwords @justdimaprops @c2-eh @jolandax13 @safetycarlando @forza-carlos-sempre @fopzaferrari @fandomchaosposts @ehcahache @carlando @paris-roubaix @landinrris @box-box-blorbos @sainzjpeg @lapdeleted @cookie-mj ok I'll stop tagging people 😂 If you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged ❤️

[recentadultburnout]

get to know me ask game

Tagged by @telomeke , @magpie24601 thanks!

RULES: bold the ones that are true & tag 10 people to do it.

APPEARANCE

blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

I don't dislike tight clothes, but loose clothes will always win.

Four ear piercings. One on the left, three on the right.

I discovered my love for nail polish around five years ago, along with my love for glitter.

It's more that I don't pay much attention to how i look. I can look better or worse, and it won't really affect any aspect of my life, so it's not important.

HOBBIES & TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

Only two, Thai, my mother tongue, and English. 

I can swim, sure. Not very well, tho. I still remember my PE teacher being, "How can you be this slow?" at an extracurricular event. 

I enjoyed writing those posts about the Thai language and culture a lot more than I expected. I also started writing a fanfic recently, and it feels kind of good. Tbh, going into this, I thought I would be able to enjoy the result but not much the process. But the process is okay too. It's a pleasant surprise, considering that I was a kid who submitted less than 500 words for a 1000-word assignment. 

I can do origami, and I like doing it. I stopped now because it piled up, and since it's made of paper, Idk what I can do with it except just store it in a box. 

I started a new book series. I may or may not finish it by year's end. 

I enjoy spending time with friends. Of course!

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together// I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

I have been single all my life, actually. Not even a single crush. Probably an aro.

Most of my friends are people I've known for more than ten years. I don't know how to make new friends😅

I'm not sure, actually. Maybe? At what point are people considered friends by others?

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

I enjoy all that except bonfires. I have attended bonfires, sure, but it was against my will lol

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

If I don't sleep in a car, chances are I will get car sickness. 

Mexican food is great! It's my favorite way to eat uncooked vegetables. 

If not by making up scenarios, how do you fall asleep? 

I mean, technically? But also not really? I am multiracial in the same way that I believe that if a person is born in a place that is not isolated, then that person must be somewhat mixed. My mom counted back and said she knew for a fact that our family had at least five different ethnicities, but that was quite far back? The closest one is from my grandparents on my dad's side.

Tagging : @shouldiusemyname, @akkrosu, @rocketturtle4, @troubled-mind, @scarefox, @lurkingteapot, @williamrikers, @blmpff, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @airenyah

as I write two posts at the same time, I tag the same people in both posts lol. Everyone, please feel free to ignore one or both.

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

Hey I noticed that u seem insecure ab ur body but usually ppl with ur body type (u said urself that u found it childish/small I think) can wear a lot of things and make it look good/cool/aesthetic, I've noticed this a lot.

Ofc all bodies are great but I just wanted to say that bc I rlly believe u have no reason to feel insecure ab ur body but I hope the way u see urself gets better <3

omg 🥹🥹

why ur so nice?! 🫶🏻 <3 your message brightened my day up a bit, it gave some more confidence

its true, Im kinda insecure about my body & wearing cute/aesthetic things because I look small, thin and I barely have curves. Girls in my age kinda avoid to be with me because I seem too young and ughhhh- they speak in a childish tone with me because I’m the ”little one” (not sarcastic, they probably think speaking like this would make me happy)

on photos I always, like, really, always looked two years younger than my classmates and people say that even my sis -who’s three years younger than me- looks more mature than I. You can imagine how this always pushed me into an inferior role :/

and over the years it really frustrates and gave me many complexes (Minderwertigkeitskomplexe- idk how to explain in English) especially now in puberty- I feel like on my lowest point mentally

so, well, today I wore a cute aesthetic kinda tight outfit and it felt somehow intimidating. Though I know it’s all in my psyche and people actually don’t care about my looks!! The inner negative voices cant leave meeeee

I’m doing my best

thank you again, I wanted to say <3

forget about the optical preferences of boys and focus on your own well-being ❣️

[thegoodceai]

afddighadfi <3333 sending all the hearts <33, sry for the late reply I had a Long Time at work but I had read your message and was also liek *twirling hair, kicking feet* trying to think of a fitting response !

Letsgo!! IF is soo good, I need to get more into IF if anything. Fallen Hero is Top Tier. Got a top three IF? And Nice! U a player or dming for them?

Aww! I'd love to know any info about her! Plz feel free to yell at me about her. Wuts her (current) name, design?, sign, The Demons (the story ur putting her through lol).

Bro! I've relatively done the same, I had waited so long to play Retri, wut ending did u get 👀👀👀. Ortega is just 😩😩😩

I hadn't heard of her nor the song, but checking it out I can definitely see why it's been on repeat <333.

We love little sharp bbies <3. Do u have a preference for color? Got a name picked out already lol?

Fair Enough, least they chase u with a stake. The Aesthetic and Seduction are unmatched I will give em that ;p. Oh! I know Of the series, but next to nothing what its about, wuts it about/what drew you into it? ((I know I could Google it, butt any excuse to get you to chat/yell more <3))

Thank you for replying to all my random questions lol. Been following for a long time, and in my mind ur already a Friend :))))

<3333 sending all the good vibes, i know we've been mutuals for a while and truly the one reaction i have every time we interact is Friend!!!!!

i am DMing for my friends, it was the only way to get them to play. i started out with only 2 players, just for some light fun, but i ended up with 5 now and a whole homebrew campaign that they can play around in and so far they do seem to be enjoying being chaotic gremlins with the side of Mystery Plot i threw at them

IF is amazing, i love the versatility of the format. idk if i could pick a true top 3, but for ones in progress ones i keep going back and replaying there's A Tale of Crowns (a favorite and one of the first ones i played, like 2 years ago when it was first released), Project Hadea, and Attolo. i love all of them dearly and cannot wait to see how they end up. for finished ones, i loveeeee Way Walkers University (i feel like it's so underrated, but i really like the style it is written in and how well developed the world of it is, there just so much and the variations you can play are huge), The Passenger (Roach my beloved), and i really liked I, The Forgotten One (been following this one before it was published, and it's truly not everyones' cup, but i found it compelling)

the story i'm working on is kind of fantasy adventure, heavily based on mythology and folklore (specifically romanian one), and i am planning to like, make it public at some point this year (still ironing and detailing some stuff, but the bones are solid, it's been rooting around in my brain for A While). the main cast are all variations of very very old ocs i have (originally for another story sort of in the same vein, but i'd like to think i grew a bit as a writer and they're more put together now, as well as the story itself). so imma hold on to the details about this whole thing for now but aaah thank u for being interested in it <3333

aah first ending i got was accident as sidestep, stayed as sidestep, and got the whole old gang involved in breaking them out of the hospital. i've been playing sidestep as a reluctant villain that's gunning for justice/exposing what the Powers That Be are actually up to (anarchist villain baby), all while being friendly with the Rangers and ended up keeping the cover so none of them know about the villain sidegig lmao. been trying to psych myself to play a fully evil sidestep but. it's hard. and i loooove playing reluctant and tired mcs that are done with everything but ultimately will do the right thing at any cost (tragic heroes my beloved)

16 year old me would have given anything to have a black cat named either Loki or Thanatos and you know what? they were right. but in reality i will probably just end up adopting a bunch of stray animals and naming them like. normal human names. or food names (i am very fond of the name Clementine, but it is kind of a mouthful)

lmao i remember next to nothing of the series, i've read it forever ago (i was like, maybe 13?? when i got the first book). all i remember was that i liked Sookie very much at the time. it was i think the first like, adult book series i read and it was fascinating to my young brain, seeing a fully developed female main character being badass and resourceful and kinda doing her own thing (the series is from her perspective, so that was also kind of novel at the time, after reading a lot of like, classical literature and school stuff). idk if i'd recommend it now, but it was definitely formative for me. it's also the series that got me into like, modern fantasy (both reading and writing it)

[s0urb33f]

I feel like no one is like me.

I’m sure that’s not true, but what gets circulated in media, I never see anyone like me.

Almost a year and a half ago now, I started really questioning my gender. I didn’t understand why when I finally was in a relationship with a woman who really loved and adored me, why I felt disgusting every time she looked at me. So about 9 months ago I started telling select people I was non-binary. I kept questioning my gender as there were and are things I feel that I don’t quite understand what they mean for me.

I’ve always wanted to be “cool” and “masculine” but also be pretty. I never wanted someone to look at me and see a woman, but all the men I see are such manly men. They have big rippling muscles or bushy beards. They have traditionally masculine clothing preferences and strong features. These are all fine for them, but I can’t really relate.

I am pretty alternative with my aesthetics. Black clothes, piercings, dyed hair, ect. I know there are fellow edgelords out there who are also trans, but I hardly see them. I know there are gender nonconforming trans guys, but where are they? Where are the ethereal fairy-like transmen?

I keep searching for validation because something isn’t aligning with my gender for me, but I don’t follow a lot of the stereotypes that bring other transmen together. I know that being the hyper masculine trope doesn’t have to be what I want, but it still makes me question myself.

Do all girls see themselves as guy characters in media? Do they get the ick when they’re in the all girls group yet for some reason people see them as a girl too? Does it feel like they’re breaking stereotypes by wearing cute clothes and makeup? What about fantasizing about when teaching their children life lessons, idk who they’re doing it as but it sure as hell isn’t as their mom? Maybe they’re the uncle, idk? Do they only date women, but then also get the ick to say they’re a lesbian? (Also not talking about lesbians being ick- just it doesn’t feel right to use that for me) That prolly means something, right?

I have to wait until march to apply for insurance, and then once approved, I want to talk to a therapist about this stuff. It’s not terribly far off at this point, but man is it agonizing feeling so terrible and unsure about myself- especially because I’ve been all alone in these struggles.

I just wish I had someone to talk to- to help me through until I can talk to a therapist. But all of this is so isolating and the more I discover about myself, the less and less I can relate to others and the less they care.

[florahydevt]

Get to Know Me tag game!!

tagged by my wonderful boy @torstenerikssonvt

RULES: bold the ones that are true and tag people to do it.

APPEARANCE

Blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo //I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery* // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

*idk if it counts as plastic surgery seeing as it wasn't for aesthetic choices as much as mobility purposes, but as a kid I had a reconstructive surgery on my left shoulder due to Erb's Palsy (also during said surgery I had a horrible allergic reaction to the anesthesia and ended up flat lining lol)

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language* // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing* //I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing* // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year// I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during work or school breaks // I can do a handstand

First *: I took Spanish for three years in high school, forgot most of it, and am slowly regaining my knowledge thanks to my coworkers who only speak Spanish. All of that to say, I sound like a moron but I can get my point across. Lo siento orz

Second *: Literally my favorite thing in the world and the one thing I feel confident in.

Third *: Thanks to being pushed into choir (and by extension drama) classes my entire school career, I fell out of love with singing for many years. But now I belt out my fav songs like Patti Lupone without the talent and enjoy the hell out of myself lol

RELATIONSHIP

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend who I’ve known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend* // I met up with someone I have met online

*I've made many and I love all of you <3

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sun rise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

tagging @m1lk-ch3rry @dollymollynanika and @keiirisruevt !!!

[jaylaxies]

ion play sports but i have a bachelors in dance. i kinda wanna go to st. stephens because of legacy 🙄 but i'd actually prefer lsr.

bro i feel like us brown girls know what real pretty privilege is cause we experience both sides of the spectrum. like the diff in the way people treated me pre and post puberty is insane. i mean now they let me cut cues, barge into lines, i can be like really bitchy and get away with it, it's 100 times easier to make friends, everybody is just genuinely nicer. i'm really talkative and earlier it used to piss people off but now they wanna sit and listen and everybody just values your opinion more when you're pretty. back when i was "aesthetically challenged", i could see people getting pissed whenever i asked them for favours or any sort of help but now they just straight up offer, i don't have to ask. those boys literally gave up their own paper in a competitive exam to help me with mine.

DANCE?? THATS SO SO COOL i admire that a lot (me who dances in my room) no but that’s actually so true, i find it really weird how things have progressed but i think it’s for the better (at least for me) cause i’m the one who doesn’t initiate conversations and it feels good to see that people still talk to me and WTH those boys really sound whipped girlie how pretty are you 😭✋🏼

also omg it’s north vs south campus atp,, are you gonna join the dance team too? idk which college has the best dance team but i’ve seen khalsa slay it with bhangra 😋

[geekgirles]

Hi, so this may be very personal and I’ll understand if you don’t wanna answer this. But recently I have figured out I’m aroace, but.. I have questions like... am I “worthy” enough? Can I rlly identify as those? I like a boy and like how we’re kinda dating rn, but I don’t LOVE love him- am I still an aro? I don’t rlly despise sex and I actually like to read it- am I still an ace?

I’m a cis straight woman (which is why the “worthy” enough) and idk how it works and I’m so sorry for sending you this but you’re one of the few I’ve ever seen to speak abt aroace and I feel very insecure and high anxiety abt this. Again, I know it’s kinda unfair to you to just ask these, so I totally understand if you dont answer this. Thank you though!

Hope you’re having a nice day/ night! ☺️

Hi there!

First of all, don't worry. I think it's actually more personal to you than it is for me. So I don't mind at all.

You should know that I perfectly understand how you're feeling. I, too, sometimes wonder if I'm worthy enough of being ace. As a matter of fact, that's something I've wanted to talk about for a long time but never really had the chance. Thank you for providing it.

I personally associate my own feelings of unworthiness to the stigma (?) surrounding phases. Like, "what if I'm really just going through a phase? Isn't that disrespectful of true asexuals or other LGBTQIA+?"

That's how I've been feeling for a while.

I always say I've been identifying as asexual since I was 14, because it's true! But my lack of experience in romantic or sexual relationships makes me wonder if I truly am ace or if I'm just lacking enough facts to form a proper opinion.

I mean, I might not really react to "hot" people (I mostly just have the aesthetic appreciation), but I don't even know my romantic orientation. I've never even had a crush in my live, and the sole idea scares the shit outta me, but deep down I would like to experience a relationship. Because of that I don't really identify as aro; I don't know, it just doesn't feel right, you know? Not like calling myself asexual feels right for me.

That being said, despite my doubts, I also understand that things aren't black or white. Life is an unpredictable, never-ending journey of selfdiscovery. It's full of nuance and contradictions. And that's not necessarily bad!

If you want my honest opinion, I do believe you're both ace and aro.

Inside each sexual orientation there's a whole world of possibilities!!

For example, you say you like a boy and you're sort of dating him, right? Well, that's perfectly possible. I don't think I can find it right now, but there's this comic detailing different aspects of being aro, and one of these experiences say, "I really like you platonically. Can we date?"

It seems to me that's what you're going through.

Just because you're aro, it doesn't mean you can't date! Hell, there's this thing you might know about called "queerplatonic partners."

Basically, that's what happens when friends decide to do things that you'd normally expect from couples (especially MARRIED ones) together. Such as living together or having kids. But you are still just friends.

Also, you can be cishet and still be queer, you know that, right? I mean, nothing is set in stone! There's lots of people who, for example, identify as asexual lesbians/gays, etc. There's more than one way of doing things, if you know what I mean.

Now, you said you like reading about sex?

Sugar, so do I. And, again, proud asexual since I was 14 here!

FYI, I like reading about sex, but I hate watching sex scenes. No matter the gender of the characters, I just can't. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable. And actually listening to moaning?!? Dude, just kill me now.

That's a good part of the reason why I prefer watching cartoons or comedies over live-action and dramas. As a hopeless romantic (see? Another contradiction), I get my much needed dose of heartwarming interactions without having to watch people intertwining limbs and panting.

Also...reading allows me to...control the intensity, so to speak. As in, I decide what I want to picture in my brain. Sex on TV forces me to watch exactly what the directors want me to. And, no thanks.

Oh, and just so you know, being asexual doesn't necessarily mean you despise sex. True, there are asexuals who are sex-repulsed, but many others are okay with sex, it's just...not a top priority, you know? And both ways of being are perfectly valid.

Now, tell me. After everything I've said, do you think I'm unworthy of calling myself an asexual? Because I personally don't think you're unworthy of calling yourself aroace.

Your life, your identity, is a journey only you can find the answers to. Experiences aren't universal, and there isn't one more valid than the rest. You do you.

[createandconstruct]

can i ask about amarant coral? the monk in red himself~

Can you ask about Amarant Coral? *cracks fingers* Oh I insist that you do. Welcome to my Amarant Appreciation Post:

favorite thing about them: First off best thing about Amarant? His theme. The percussion and the guitar. It’s great and it captures him so well. People out here like “take Amarant out of the game he adds nothing.” EXCUSE ME? You remove the Amarant you remove the Amarant Theme my friend and that is something I do NOT vibe with. 

least favorite thing about them: I wanna know more about him. Now Amarant doesn’t need a backstory or history in the game. In a sense, he already has one that connects him to Zidane and explains his motives and actions and eventual arc. But my issue is, Square never gave him anything else. If you look at Ultimania there’s additional lore about other characters, like Steiner for instance. You learn Steiner was a war orphan who was saved by the Pluto Knights - explaining his devotion to them. Amarant though? Square was like “uh... yeah he was born....? And then he uh got famous...? Idk then he met Zidane. You figure it out.” Square. I hate you. 18 years from his birth until he became “well known”. WHAT WAS HE DOING. WHY’D HE BECOME A SECURITY GUARD. WHAT WAS ON HIS RESUME. TELL MEEEE. Like, okay, what the actual in-game canon gives us on Amarant is sort of enough. He’s a purposely written mysterious “cool-guy” character so we’re given scraps to make him unknown but come on. In the published after-game canon, like Ultimania, we could have been given a bit more. He says he doesn’t remember anything about his origins or parents, but why. Was he another victim of Gaia’s wars? Probably. Was he born on a battlefield? Fighting for his life, living without comrades, taking scraps whenever he could? Was he betrayed when he was young? Is he a supposed to be a version of Zidane had he not been adopted into Tantalus by Baku??? These are questions I deserve answers to, Square.

favorite line: “’I can't just walk away. It goes against my nature...’ You're a real simpleton. Forget it, guys. There's no stopping this fool." I love this. Amarant figures Zidane out pretty quickly after Ipsen’s Castle. Zidane is hardheaded and also an actor. He acts cool and pretends his reasons for doing things are loose but when he’s decided something it’s always for a reason. You don’t need a reason to help people, but Zidane has his reasons for helping Kuja and while Amarant doesn’t give two shits what they are he knows Zidane won’t be stopped because, despite everything, Zidane saved a loser like him. Also this line “Tell me! Why didn't you kill me!?" Because I quote it all the time and it makes myself laugh. Amarant is such a drama queen and Zidane knows it. Zidane’s like “dude... what is your damage, it’s 5 pm on Tuesday in Madain Sari. I ain’t getting blood on my gloves cause you’re having a temper tantrum.” And then Amarant runs away to have an existential crisis. He’s 26 but compared to Zidane, he’s the real teenager with angst.  

brOTP: I could talk about Zidane or Freya with Amarant but instead I’m gonna say the underrated dynamic of Amarant and Eiko (and also Vivi).  Amarant with the kids is truly the greatest gift given by his presence in the game. Amarant has never known true suffering until he became a designated legal guardian of a group of minors. It also kills me how he’s the one to volunteer to carry Eiko and Vivi up the Iifa tree. He looks at Zidane and is like “you have seriously been the ‘adult’ of this group???”

OTP: Gotta say the Freya and Amarant dynamic. I really enjoyed their unlikely friendship in the game but then the content. The fan content. The Freya x Amarant fans out there, you win. Ya got me. You captured me and I am now imprisoned by their banter and begruntled allies to lovers story. Even if they’re not romantic I love them together and really wish the game gave us more of them. But even Lani and Amarant together are valid, though I prefer them as butting head bros. Not much content for my girl Lani out there either, she deserves more.

nOTP: Nothing I can think of. I tend to like platonic pairings for Amarant. The dude needs friends because he can barely define the word friendship.

random headcanon: Before Zidane returns at the end of the game Amarant wanders around a bit, unsure of what to do. He doesn’t feel any place with the others in Alexandria, Burmecia, or Lindblum. I imagine he goes off on his own for a bit like before but this time he’s not after Zidane or a fight. Instead he’s got no particular destination. Yet he somehow always finds himself running into people just like him - or the old him - friendless lonely people who are looking for a fight. He doesn’t go out his way to find these folks he simply runs into them and decides he might as well knock some sense into them. He does however make it his business to go after any murmur of people hatching any ideas of going after the far off little village on the Lost Continent. The home of the genomes and black mages. They were so helpless, so weak that anyone who’d want to mess with them is pathetic in Amarant’s book. Until Zidane returns, no one has the chance to even look at the Black Mage Village the wrong way because in the shadows Amarant lurks, making damn well sure of that.

unpopular opinion: I kinda love that he’s just there for most of the game? While I agree he gets the short end of the stick in the same way as Freya, not receiving additional individual character spotlight (which could have very well been supplied through discoverable lore in the world/npcs or through sidequests) I never considered his “standing off to the side” as a detriment to his character. 

Many would probably agree that Amarant always felt like a bit of a parody of the loner character, or at least the stereotype of the loner character. Amarant is so easily paralleled with Squall and Cloud’s surface-level attitudes because his dialogue always felt like something to poke fun at. As the player we’re supposed to align with Zidane’s way of thinking and how he views Amarant. When Amarant loses to Zidane and pretty much grits his teeth and goes “KILL ME,” along with Zidane we’re supposed to kinda raise our brow at him and go “...really, dude?”

 Amarant’s a character introduced as an antagonist who has more in common with the power hungry villains of the game. Like many of the characters in FFIX, Amarant is in search of purpose in life, which he has never found, because he was always looking in the wrong places - in places of violence and power. Very toxic-masculinity of him. Amarant is “cool” on an aesthetic level but in reality he’s the polar opposite of cool in terms of what FFIX states about the need for others to be intertwined in your experiences so that you can live a full life. 

I sort of love that he’s like a grumpy pitball following a 16 year old and his friends around. Then he sits in the corner when they all meet up and discuss current events acting like he doesn’t care (not to mention he casually walks as everyone is running as fast as they can to escape Terra - made me laugh cry on my first playthrough) He is “just there” but that’s because he has no where else to be, no where else to go, he’s a man without a home. And until Zidane offers his hand, at the point where Amarant is most willing to take it at Ipsen’s Castle, he’s not truly a party member. He IS an outsider for almost the entire game but at Ipsen Castle he joins the party, becomes a comrade, and decides he’ll allow himself to change paths and start a life where he has friends and lives, as well as fights for them. Which is why after that moment, Amarant finally has a victory pose.

song i associate with them: I was scratching my head for so long trying to think of a song or track that had Amarant vibes until it hit me. Outskirt Stand by Tsukasa Tawada (from Pokemon Colosseum). Amarant is so chill, he’s not a bombastic guy, so he needs a theme that drops me in the rocky open desert of the Lost Continent like I’m just lumbering around looking for a monkey-tailed menace. Some other Amarant tunes:  Pyrite Town, The Under, Snagem Hideout tracks from Pokemon Colosseum. This post is just an elaborate call to action for everyone to listen to the Pokemon Colosseum soundtrack. Tsukasa Tawada is so great and he has a YouTube. Check him out.

favorite picture of them:

Yoshitaka Amano’s Salamander Coral. I love him. He had too much power. 

Also everything drawn by @crispy-ghee. Everything. I will think of this Comic forever until I die. Tattoo it on my flesh. The banter, the dynamics, the post-game content, the Zidane prince-consort outfit, the new Amarant outfit, the stuck-in-the-same-place relationship him and Freya have. Perfect. Go read it and consume Crisipy’s stuff. And also check them and their current art out, they just consistently get better and better. Here’s a first panel preview of my fav comic. Read it.

 @hannahlady​‘s Amarant art and their Freya/Amarant art is just ugh. *Chef’s Kiss* Here is another preview because you should go look at it.

Here’s a piece that deserves so much more love by @snackage. I LOVE how they drew Amarant. Here’s a little preview. It’s SO GOOD

Anyway TL;DR: Amarant is love and life and you’ll have to pull him from my little gremlin hands.

[lokislytherin]

picrew

look ik there’s other stuff i should be doing but i just stumbled upon duckyora’s picrew (link in text) again and hhh. imagination going nuts so have some picrews

1. sammy brisko (sonny brisko but female)

waifu i’m sorry i mean waifu? i mean mommy? excuse me i meant waifu? i mean-

i’m just a sucker for this picrew

2. bloody brisko

we had ponytail sonny in today’s stream:

and i couldn’t resist making ponytail sonny with blood spatters. you know i’m a sucker for blood spatters and boys with long hair, let’s not look at how sonny and sammy have the same outfit + facial features + bangs + hair if you take away the pigtails/ponytail

tbh i should’ve changed the eyes to smth a little more feminine for sammy and changed the kimono for sonny but you know what. it’s my picrew i do what i want! also i think it fits

3. maid sonny

i have no regrets. maid sonny art from touhou luna nights thumbjail was iconic like how do u look so badass in a maid dress?? tskr artist-san for that

also i just realized you can do neckmole but i’m too lazy to change oop so he looks more natural in this! i put neckmole on and i was like ah. this is the true sonny brisko (not maid sonny, just neckmole!!)

4. lunar dusko?

if you’re not already aware lunar dusko is fanmade ‘dark’ version of sonny brisko! you know how our sonnyshine is yellow and bright? well lunar dusko (aka moony) is Darkness his hair is meant to be purple but only blue was available also i’m not sure what he looks like actually LOL

i tried my best! yes he has half a billion ear piercings LMAO 

5. yugo asuma?? but sussy??

there weren’t any headphones HE LOOKS SUS 

like this is cute but i don’t think this is yugo. tbf bloody brisko doesn’t vibe like sonny either but maybe it’s the hair I’M SORRY THIS JUST DOESN’T VIBE LIKE YUGO TO ME

definitely got the ‘gender whomst’ part down tho

6. me!

or at least my preferred perception of myself bc god i wish i could keep bangs like that, bangs haven’t worked for me since i was eight and it’s been ten years also the hairs at the side in front of my ears are not as neat although goddamn i wish they were

also i’m a little tanner than that

7. oc celosia brandt!

the next few are all gonna be ocs from the same universe

celosia got genetically experimented on as a kid so she’s got the ability to control fire now. also the demon eyes + fangs represent how sometimes she loses control and goes so feral she literally becomes another person? came up with her quite a few years ago and i think she’s neat

like all of my oc main characters, she was meant to be based off my own personality but halfway through she deviated so much i didn’t recognize her anymore she’s kinda hyper now i think it’s the fire -> increased heat -> increased kinetic energy -> bouncing off the walls bc it feels like caffeine to her

i think i’ve thrown these ocs out somewhere? like shared them? but i can’t remember if it’s here or wp LMAOOO

8. oc sage carson

their personality is based off my friend (prankster, smug, sleep deprived and hiding the depression) and originally they were meant to be female but halfway through the entire concept of gender just kinda disappeared

they control metal, they’re the runaway biological bastard child of the dude who did all the genetic experimentation on the kids

they and cel become bffs later although they’re not the best of friends at first they’re chaotic besties / chaos creator + enabler now

9. oc lumi gillan

based off another friend of mine! i have her backstory and aesthetic but her personality rn is just “sheltered rich girl, lives in the mountains away from reality” i’m so sorry

if i remember correctly she has ice powers? but she can also have visions and see parts of the future and stuff? after fleshing her out a bit more i’m gonna give her a helluva character arc (but that’s only if i ever get to fleshing her out LOL)

10. oc alena willow

once again, based off an irl friend! kinda? i lost alena’s personality halfway through but she controls earth/plants? idk if she controls the soil, the plants, or the soil by controlling the plant roots

i know for a fact that she’s obsessed with social media and her phone she’s kinda like typical teen caricatures but. my irl friend used to do tiktoks and stuff she tried to drag me in once and i was like NYOOO NEVERRRRR and now i learned to dance on my own for fun. bwl, hip, dingga, dynamite, dumdi dumdi, thunderous, mafia in the morning and now wadada + tomboy go brr

if anyone notices all the identical chokers... it’s a mark of their genetic modification when they were kids ehehe it’s like a tracker or smth

11. oc saffi

saffi my beloved! she got the pointy ears coz she a goddess! she’s a knowledge goddess hence the lil caterpillar (coz bookworm ehehe)

before i thought she’d have children like with greek gods and stuff but she vibes a little too ace for that? maybe i’m projecting? personally i think she’s very pretty and nice and she blesses children with wrinkly brains

originally she was meant to be in the same verse as the trio above but now that i changed the verse a little i’m not sure where she fits in now OOF but i do like her a lot? she vibes a little like a lesbian to me too (haha, saffi -> sappho -> sapphic) which might be affecting that HAHA

now that you’ve seen my four Big OC Girls, will it surprise you to find out that they came from an au that me and my friends created when we were like 11 and obsessed with animal jam? saffi was actually based off lisa the panda, cel came from my in-game bunny (red + dark red fire patterns, fox hat, phantom claws, overall kinda badass i think)... i always ask my friend (sage) if our animal jam bunny identity characters were our fursonas and she always tells me NO. NOT TODAY, SATAN.

12. assassineko

she doesn’t have a name or a story i just know she kills people and she has heterophobia in her eyes

like sure she’s a catgirl but she’s a girlboss and she’ll kick your ass in half a second flat i think she was completely random / self indulgence when i created her sorry im just a helpless bi

if you came here for the sonny brisko and yugo asuma and found a whole bunch of ocs I’M SO SORRY LMAO you got sonny baitko-ed

[arhvste]

❝atsumu, kuroo, tsukishima and bokuto playing acnh ❞

miya atsumu

→ first he called the game dumb but he eventually gave in because everyone and their aunts were playing it and he didn’t wanna be left out

→ mf tries so hard for raymond at first

→ he insists it’s just because he can sell him for a lot

→ he really just wants raymond because he lowkey reminds him of osamu

→ anyways this fool doesn’t get raymond but ya know who he does get?

→ pedro

→ atsumu was ✨disgusted✨

→ “a clown?! a fukn clown?! yer jokin me!”

→ “aw don’t cry he fits in so well on your island 😹”

→ “sHUT YER TRAP 😠😠😠”

→ he hated pedro at first and for what?

→ eventually he starts vibing with him though

→ he decides that perhaps... pedro isn’t a bad guy after all

→ so atsumu develops a soft spot for him and begins to favour him over the rest of his mediocre villagers whose names he can’t be bothered to remember

→ ya know whose name he can remeber though?

→ BELLA 😡😠😡😠😡😡😠

→ the name that sparks rage in him

→ atsumu hits his villagers with his net shouting “nice cut g!” as a joke

→ with bella he’s not joking 😐

→ he hits her repeatedly and grins maliciously when she gets angry eventually

→ LOVES shoving her into pitfalls for absolutely no reason

→ cusses her out under his breath

→ writes hate mail to her only to get fustrated when she sends a nice reply about the flowers she saw the other day that reminded her of him

→ honestly bella girl it ain’t worth it, pack your bags and get outta there sis 😔

→ he wants her to get tf off his island because he doesn’t like her but he also kinda wants her to stay because he loves annoying her and making her angry

→ literally goes out of his way to buy the ugliest clothes for her to wear

→ he also has all his villagers address him as “big dick man”

→ pedro is special though 😳

→ pedro is the chosen one who gets to call him “tsumu”

→ JUST PEDRO 😤😾😡

→ literally thinks it’s the funniest thing when his villagers say “hey big dick man! the weather sure is great today isn’t it!”

→ you can hear his cackling from down the hall

→ thinks it’s the peak of comedy

→ oh and you’re not allowed to visit his island on a saturday

→ saturdays are “for the boys”

→ and by that he means he’s just going to buy a ton of matching clothes for him and pedro and talk to him all day until he eventually annoys pedro by accident to which he genuinely gets upset about

→ he doesn’t really bother with the fishing tourneys or bug offs

→ does catch a few though just to make sure he beats bella earns nook miles

→ pretty average island, not too much effort put into it yet

→ atsumu prefers channeling his energy and game time into bullying bella interacting with his villagers

kuroo tetsurō

→ bangs. it. tf. out.

→ literally acts like he doesn’t care about the game but has 395+ hours game time

→ uses the excuse it’s to play with kenma but kuroo actually got into it before kenma had the chance to look at it properly

→ fishing tourney KING

→ has multiple gold trophy’s and built a whole extension just to show them off

→ also treats all his villagers equally

→ he was a bit picky and only wanted cats and dogs on his island though

→ if you’re anything but a cat or a dog, i’m sorry but kuroo will timeskip you tf off of his island

→ has a soft spot for lucky but doesn’t admit it

→ he likes to come across as a “fair dictator of the island”

→ just admit luckys your fav and go oh my god

→ his house is really nice too

→ pretty much paid off all his debt and is financially responsible 😼

→ he will send you money over a few times a week because he claims he’s a good boyfie virtually and realistically

→ LOVES opening the letters from ‘mom’

→ it’s a small detail in the game but it brings kuroo comfort when he opens the letters and sometimes receives gifts from his virtual ‘mom’ 🥺

→ keeps all the letters from her because that’s what he would do if his real mom ever wrote to him

→ he’s a shameless timeskipper

→ “tetsu?? where tf did you get all this the games only been out a week??”

→ “👁👁 idk what you’re talking about baby”

→ the thing that annoys him the most are the fossils

→ HATES the stupid little marks in the ground that appear every day

→ also HATES talking to blathers

→ “spit it out already! i have places to be and villagers to see!”

→ completely ignores blathers’ real name and refers to him as ‘bokuto’

→ because he’s an owl duh

→ and bokuto also talks a lot

→ you thought it was a cute friendship thing at first but took it back when you heard him muttering under his breath

→ “oh my god just analyse the fossils already you himbo bird!”

→ “did you just call blathers a himbo? 😳”

→ “...no? 😳👀”

→ all in all, kuroo’s pretty good at the game

→ you like visiting his island because he has a ton of extra stuff he just gives you

→ “i never want to hear you call me a bad boyfriend again 😐”

→ “okay fine...but oNLY if you give me an ironwood dresser 😏”

tsukishima kei

→ another one who bangs it out

→ doesn’t really care when you point it out though

→ “you’re just jealous your islands a dumping ground compared to mine 🥱”

→ “k-kei 😔”

→ also sprints near where you’re fishing to scare the fish off and be spiteful 💀

→ little shit KNOWS you only need oranges to complete all the fruits on your island

→ he also knows you’re out of nook miles tickets

→ “aw that’s a shame, maybe if you were a bit better at the game you’d find them quicker but good luck! 😀”

→ oranges are his native fruit 😐😑😐

→ eventually he gives you them because you’re relentless and his patience runs thin after a while

→ good at the bug offs

→ pretty good at scorpion/tarantula hunting too

→ convinced spike is in love with him after the amount of scorpions and tarantulas he’s donated to him

→ his fossil exhibition in the museum is completed already

→ when blathers tells him the facts about the dinosaurs he just rolls his eyes

→ “i knew that already you stupid bird 🙄”

→ why’s everyone bullying blathers damn 😿

→ now, he likes henry

→ one of the few villagers he doesn’t bully

→ tsukki doesnt particularly care for majority of his villagers

→ henry has a special place in his heart though

→ maybe it’s because henry isn’t overly perky or he isn’t rude like the cranky villagers which tsukishima doesn’t like

→ henry is just??? so??? nice????

→ he can’t hate him

→ all his villagers have catchphrases that are dumb af

→ tsukki thought he was being clever when he made them but he just looks mean when other people talk to his villagers

→ “good morning i am useless! i love your outfit!”

→ henry gets to call him tsukki though

→ only because he figured out that henry reminds him of yamaguchi

→ that’s the only reason henry’s the exception to his bullying

→ i feel like tsukki has a pretty nice house too

→ he makes a lot of bells from selling scorpions and tarantulas and spare fossils he’s dug up

→ doesn’t really care about the size but has very detailed rooms

→ like all the furniture in his rooms follow a scheme

→ mf never opens his mailbox

→ doesn’t care for what the other “peasants have to say for themselves”

→ terraforming isn’t really his thing tbh

→ doesn’t like how slow the process and be and kinda likes the natural flat land

→ he likes laying down paths though

→ cusses villagers out when they get in the way though

→ full on shoves them and will keep shoving them until they get annoyed just because they’ve annoyed him

→ tsukki doesnt put as much time into the game as kuroo but his island is still pretty good and aesthetically pleasing

→ he just won’t help you make yours look like that 💀

bokuto koutarō

→ weeds. everywhere.

→ get so confused when he’s told he has to pick them all

→ “really? why can’t i just let them grow though i kinda like them 🤩”

→ mf ✨struggles✨ at the first stages

→ “y/n, you know i love you, please give me 30 iron nuggets 🥺💖💞💗”

→ ofc you give them to him because you’re well ahead in the game and don’t need them as much as he does

→ praises you like royalty but then he’s back to begging for materials from you 💀

→ doesn’t pay his debts

→ you’re gonna have to help him out here

→ doesn’t like the idea of having to constantly pay them off

→ like?? he doesn’t want a bigger house so why is this damn raccoon always bothering him to upgrade like leave him and his 2 room house alone 😠

→ has a the same camp bed and lamp from when he first moved out the tent 💀

→ insists he doesn’t need another one because the furniture all functions the same

→ he has a point tbf but his house just isn’t aesthetically pleasing

→ he also hoards stuff

→ common butterfly? yeah bokuto has 37 sitting in his storage

→ doesn’t like letting the bugs go because he “caught them fair and square”

→ you show him how to pay his debts back and then he dedicates a whole room to his stupid bugs 💀

→ loves blathers and celeste just because they’re owls

→ doesn’t care about what they’re wittering on about he loves interacting with them just because they’re the only owls in the game 😐

→ his favourite villager is kid cat

→ literally follows him around and sprints circles around him

→ l o v e s the chaos outside the town hall

→ 2 of his villagers are singing, 3 are running around and 1 is just watching like 🧍🏻‍♀️

→ HYPES his singing villagers tf up

→ “yeah get it bianca! turn it up!!! 🥳🥳”

→ has to match his villagers clothes at least once a week

→ also makes them all refer to him as “the best ace”

→ it boosts his ego a little more each time they say it

→ bokuto actually got raymond out of luck but had no idea who tf he was and just how popular he was

→ lets that mf go without advertising that raymond’s in boxes

→ atsumu screeches when he finds this out eventually

→ bokuto doesn’t care what his villagers look like everyone’s welcome

→ bella should move to bokuto’s island and move from atsumu’s because bokuto will accept her with open arms rather than a net to the head everytime he sees her 😿

→ ALWAYS remembers birthdays for his villagers

→ and always shows up to their birthday parties insisting he’s the life of the party and they’d be bored without him 😹

→ which is true to a certain degree cause the party only really starts when the player arrives

→ bokuto is actually okay at terraforming

→ quickly changes his mind after an hour of building and digging and restarts it all over again

→ he can make his island look pretty good

→ theres just weeds and buried fossils everywhere though 👁👁

→ also forgets his turnips go bad

→ literally the least financially responsible out of them all

→ it’s okay though because you help him and he eventually gets the hang of it

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