#idk I feel like I didn't get any closure

[funeralflow3rs]

Now that I've sat with HOFAS for a few days, my feels are still p much the same... It was just okay. I'm glad to have ticked a bunch of things off my bingo card sheet and I'm not mad about anything that happened. I LOVED some parts so much, especially the new ACOTAR lore which I was not expecting to get... But it felt so soulless outside of a handful of moments scattered throughout. I had no connection to the CC characters I love ( When I tell u I love Ruhn I literally named my dog after him ) and it didn't feel like they really went anywhere development wise or if they did it was such a fast speed run of it I didn't get to enjoy it before we were on to the next thing. Honestly it left me feeling really empty by the end, that's still lingering and not in the usual book coma kind of way. I wish she would have either split the book in half or slowed the pace down a bit and given the reader room to breathe instead of throwing huge revelation after huge revelation at us. I'm just so sad it fell flat for me when so many people I know are loving it, like what did I miss what am I personally not getting here 😭😭

[greatbigstorm]

/ /

[darkcircles4lyfe]

I've given it some thought--

Now, if you've read any of my posts and you've read 430, you know there are a lot of ways it falls short of what I wanted. On the other hand, I can respect an open ending, one where we are allowed and encouraged to dream. All things considered, I'm not satisfied or disappointed, but a secret third thing... bear with me.

For a lot of storylines, I can fill in the blanks how I want.

I'm heartbroken over Himiko's fate, but there's no denying that the lack of camera footage leaves open the possibility of her simply disappearing. Perhaps she is waiting in hiding for the world to change, just like Lady Nagant.

Dr. Yoshida is described as someone who can cure the incurable. That may be referring to Katsuki, but the doctor himself said it's a complete mystery how he survived, all Katsuki's own doing. Maybe he cured someone else in those 8 years... someone like Touya?

Honestly I got nothing on Tenko but who knows. Who knows! Something something OFA connection. Izuku having vestige visions. Idk.

As for the manner in which society is changing, I'm drawn to Shouji's speech: "I'm dedicating the honor to those who joined the uprising eight years ago. All I've done is stand atop the resolve that they demonstrated to the world, nothing more." That at least tells me his earlier judgment of the other heteromorphs "setting them back" was a narrow point of view Shouji was supposed to grow out of, rather than a way of Horikoshi trying to criticize revolutionaries. In general, just because a character says something doesn't mean we're supposed to take it as gospel. That's lit crit 101, people.

Then there's Izuku. Once again I am feeling this pretty close to home. I keep coming back to the fact that the class is 24/25 now and I'm 25, man. On top of that, anyone else who was 14/15 ten years ago when the manga started gets to feel like we've all grown up together. I wanted catharsis for Izuku's trauma so badly. I wanted words. But I can't deny that the way Izuku is shown attempting to make the best of things and be content with a humbler life resonates with me, as painful as it is, as much as I know deep down he's kidding himself. It doesn't surprise me that he kept his walls up all this time and continued to shun his "selfishness."

I almost feel like there's an all-encompassing narrative theme being expressed here, in the fact that Izuku was trying to push past his pain and focus on the next generation, but surprise, his story's not over yet. I think the implied message there is that more can be done in the here and now, and maybe other stories that seem to be over, aren't.

With these things in mind, I can take the ending in stride, even if this is all the more we get from Horikoshi. However. There's one thing that is jolting me out of my peace every time I start to get comfortable here. It's actually related to the storyline that got the most closure.

I've seen a lot of fellow bkdk enjoyers calling their conclusion the best part of the ending, and I agree with that. They got a truly full circle moment, and a way of communicating to the reader that they're together, they have their forever, in a way that is personal to them. It's not "canon" in the way a kiss or a confession is, but I've said it before--this makes sense for them. And Horikoshi also did something legitimately interesting and groundbreaking by not making Ochako confess, not showing her future being tied to the main character as a love interest.

No, the thing that's bugging me is a seemingly small detail: why does Izuku and Katsuki holding hands at the end, of all things, have to be implied? Lots of things about 430 make sense in the context of the interview Horikoshi recently gave where he expressed being content with what he has drawn, and what he has left to the imagination. But not this. You can't convince me he didn't want to draw this. It's a motherfucking story about hands. This is the one thing I was 110% certain would happen. It's been teased for forever. Katsuki clearly wanted it so bad. So many other characters got to hold Izuku's hand in-frame. What the hell. Why.

Idk. I will be thinking about it for the foreseeable future.

[vivi-snow]

He is the best thing that's ever been mine

Pairings: Gojo x F!Reader

Tags: childhood friends to lovers (attempt), fake marriage (attempt), fake family (attempt), slow burn (attempt)

Summary: as the years have passed and your friendship is in a blur, an opportunity represents itself in the form of a rekindled closure painted as a family. However, the longer the performance, the more you feel affectionate towards him. Is there a possibility that the two of you could be tied together?

author's note: hey guys! It's been a while since i last wrote (i got lazy), and i decided to attempt a multi chapter fic. Idk if this is a good one, but in my head i kinda like the idea of it. Pls note that this is an attempt, so it may not be the best work. Also this isn't proofread (i need someone to do it), so expect mistakes.

Chapter 1: Everything has Changed

There wasn't a time when your childhood wasn't filled with Satoru. As far as you could remember, in your early days, you moved into a distant countryside right across what you later realized was the Gojo Manor.

The matriarch was the one who invited you over for a warm welcome. Your mom and she got along quite quickly after a talk over tea, chatting about how handful children can be. yet you never saw a child while they were talking.

Curious, you asked her where the child in her stories was.

She only gave you a pat on the head and took you to a room inside the large house. There, you saw a boy with features you'd never seen before snow-white hair, azure eyes, and an attitude too loud for a child.

yet despite this, you went up to him and introduced yourself.

“I don't make friends with weaklings.”

Well, that was unexpected.

His mother quickly corrected his speaking, apologizing on his behalf for his rudeness.

“Satoru never had any friends, I hope you understand.”

The next day after the encounter, they went to your house so that Satoru could personally apologize to you.

He gave you a hydrangea bouquet, which was quite considerate of him, but you simply thought his mother was the one who arranged the flowers.

Since that day, your mothers have been catching up with each other, chatting about mom things, adult things, and things.

Your mom would always bring you whenever they would meet, and when that happens,

you would often go to Satoru's room, since he's the only child your age, and try to get close to him.

The more you talk to him, the less hostile he becomes towards you. He would eventually be the one to invite you over, even when your moms are busy, he would be the one to talk about how it's very lonely inside the house, and when he first met you, he thought you were an assassin out to get him.

You were an empathetic person. You know how scared he must have been to always be on his guard 24/7. You tried comforting him with a hug, and that was the time you began to get close.

Over the years, when you would come over to his house, he gradually showed his energetic side. You would climb trees together, take lake baths together, and sometimes, he would often make you stay over the night for dinner, even having sleepovers.

Then, one day, he was doing pigtail braids on your hair. For a hairdo he attempted for the first time, it was impressive.

“You look pretty in pigtails.”

Pigtails have become your nickname ever since.

But the more you visit his house, the more you begin to see these weird creatures roaming around. A particular one that was stuck in your memories was a tall, dark, skinny creature with eyes all over its body, dripping saliva from its mouth, with crooked teeth.

It was already nighttime, and you should be home by now, but the creature was standing right outside his bedroom, and he didn't even seem to care.

“Satoru, there's a monster outside your room!”

Satoru looked at you with intrigue. He knew there was a curse, and he could get rid of it easily, but he didn't expect to see you to be able to see the curse.

“You can see it too?!”

He could sense your fear. He didn't know how to comfort you, so he made you wear a blindfold and guided you outside until you reached your home. You never went back there.

After that incident, you never went back into his house even when your mom would visit there.

And he notices, so he explains to you about curses and how his family was one of the major families whose job was to get rid of the curses called sorcerers. He takes you to the more private parts of the house where he practices his techniques.

It was there when you realized how insanely powerful your best friend is. You admit he was scary when he used his techniques, but he assured you he'll use it to protect you when you get scared.

When you were fifteen, Satoru left for Tokyo to pursue his sorcerer education. It was fascinating to learn that such a school existed. He would visit during breaks and holidays, but it was never quite the same.

His voice becomes deeper, and you notice he looks more handsome than cute. When you mention that to him, he would get cocky and boast about it, too.

“You look nice, Satoru,”

“Thanks, Pigtails! I know! And you're lucky you get to look at me whenever you like.”

His cocky side was mildly irritating, but you tolerated it. It's not every day you get to see each other anymore. Eventually, it becomes funny to you.

He would often talk about his new friends Ieri and Suguru and promised to introduce you to them.

“They're nice! I'll introduce you to them someday!”

Enthusiastic as ever.

Although you would often talk on the phone when he's in Tokyo, you two have grown distant over time to the point where whenever he comes back for the holidays, you would only exchange glances and smiles at each other.

You both eventually graduated. You decide to work in Tokyo with your classmates to experience city life.

On your last day at your hometown, you went to the manor for the last time to say goodbyes before preparing to leave.

Although Mrs Gojo was saddened by your departure, she understood that you only wanted to repay your mother's hardships.

“I'm sure your mother is very proud to have a daughter like you,”

“I still remember the times when you and Satoru would do reckless things in this house. I used to scold him very often, you know, but he never listens… My son used to be very rude to the other kids, but you became his first friend, and now look at him. He's having a good life in Tokyo now.”

she accompanied you as you're leaving, but you heard a car being parked at the gate. It was Satoru, coming home for the holidays as usual.

Mrs. Gojo hugged her son tightly, and then Satoru went up to hug you too.

“I missed you, Pigtails. So, what were you doing?”

“Oh, [MC] was just saying her goodbyes before leaving the town.”

“Well, since you're here now, I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on. Come inside now, you two.”

You were reluctant, but you did miss him.

Satoru talked about his job as a teacher and a sorcerer in the school he graduated from. You imagine he must've had a good life there.

“Oh! and Ieri became the school doctor, and Suguru retired from exorcising. He's now just working on the paperworks.”

“So anyways, how's life?”

“Well, i'm working in Tokyo.”

“Oh! Good for you! Where will you be staying?”

“I'll be living alone in an apartment near my workplace. It's much more efficient that way.”

He looked up the place you were staying. He remembered how there's a lot of places there that got shut down or abandoned due many cases of curses swarming there.

He knew you had a fear of curses, and he knew that if you see one, you'l just stand there and look at them in fear.

Curses in Tokyo were much more aggressive than in your hometown. You only survived because you were with the strongest, but what are your chances when you encounter one on your own?

“Are you sure about that place?”

“What's wrong with it?”

“There's nothing wrong with the apartment. It's just that, you live in a street where many curses would roam around.”

The word curses was already enough to get you nervous. You never knew curses were everywhere, even in crowded places like Tokyo.

“Why don't you stay where I live? I'll just take you to your work so you don't have to stress about public transport.”

You wanted to agree, but you don't want to make his work more difficult, but he confidently said that it was fine for him, and you shouldn't worry too much about it, as long as he could keep you away from curses.

You spent a good five days reminiscing about your past and catching up with each other. Now it's time to go to your first day at work.

He helped carry your bags to the trunk, and you both said goodbye to each other's parents.

“Take care of her for me Satoru.”

“Yes mom, I will.” He replied.

“Don't make his work more difficult than it already is, [MC].”

“I promise mom, I won't.”

You finally went up for Tokyo. Your life won't be the same again.

Tysm guys! I hope it's decent... let me know what you think abt the story! (I need someone to remind me to continue this story)

[sevensoulmates]

Kinda fascinated by how Buck and Eddie specifically will go and visit or follow up with people from their calls together as a duo, even if they don't interact with the people necessarily. They always circle back, and almost always together. With Marisol, they went back to help fix her place. With the lady who did a living funeral, they went and visited her grave together. With Charlie, Buck found him and they went and saw how he was doing at the horse therapy center together.

It feels very much like stepping beyond the glass doors together. Where they both know they're not the type who can just let calls go and never get any sort of closure, so instead of just bottling it up, they go and check-in for themselves and always with the support of each other, because I don't usually see any other member of the firefam with them.

Something about that silent support, the no-questions-asked 'I will be there for you' regardless of the severity of the call or how much it seemingly didn't effect the other person. Idk, it's a small thing but it's recurred enough times now that it feels like a ritual.

Edit 2/7/24: Okay, I was rewatching season 4 and 5, and I definitely think this ritual of Buck and Eddie going together to check in with calls after saving them definitely started after Eddie's breakdown in 5x13, starting with them going to visit Charlie in 5x14. It definitely stemmed from them needing reassurance that even if they lose the people they save, their actions weren't for nothing, and to just get the trauma of that off their chest before it builds into another breakdown. It's just another beautiful way in which these two support each other in a way no one else does and I love that it's continued into season 6 and I hope it continues into season 7 and beyond.

[bonesandthebees]

Okay fuck it. I think scrolling for hours today is enough DJFKGKFK I'll just log back out. I wanna focus my energy on more positive things

Im so gonna log back in the minute my friend sends me another tweet but HDKGKGKD no. I will do my best. He's not worth our time man.

Okay one more tiny rant about him and then I promise I'll stop I just OOOHHMYGODHFJGKG HE JUST. I had so much hope. That. He would reply and it wouldn't fix things, I wouldn't go back to watching him or anything but at the very least I could get closure that like? Maybe his closer friends would be able to heal and move on? Idk if that's parasocial or whatever but he was such a big role model for me the past few years I really had hope that at least some parts of it were real, you know? And instead we just find out that he not only did these shitty things but didn't fucking learn and did it to other people too and??? It's really really upsetting that he created this safe space, this community of people who were all so lovely while just being. Fake. The whole time. And he doesn't even have the gull to properly apologise and I just??#?# idk what to do with my emotions LMFAO I'd finally started to feel better and like move on but now today I'm just angry again grgrgfhfjdkdk and I totally get that like him being a complete dickhead is easier in a lot of ways bc there's no. Doubting it. Or anything. Like there's no redeeming him. And we can get closure from that. But fuckkk it hurts so badly and the tl is a mess of ppl being like "well this person would never do me wrong" and then ppl being like "fuck every YouTuber ever actually. We can't ever be sure we know them" and LIKE!$?_?$?

Dude I am so conflicted on so many levels rn I feel like my entire world has just been yeeted into the sun LMFAODKFKFKFK

Anyways. Anyways. Thank you bee. Ur tumblr is the only account w a brain rn fr lmfaodjfkfkfks

I get it, I'm fucking furious at him. he had a chance to at least own up to what he did. I wouldn't have gone back to consuming his content, but I could be somewhat at peace knowing he was taking steps towards being better.

I don't want to think it was all a lie, because abusers aren't all completely evil people. the thing is, wilbur is human. a very shitty human, but human nonetheless. and we can't know for sure how healthy or unhealthy every relationship in his life has ever been and I think overanalyzing that or trying to figure out what was fake and what was real isn't really our business or worth our time. wilbur is a guy who has hurt a lot of people, but also refuses to recognize the hurt he's caused. that's it.

I do hate the dichotomy I'm seeing between people trying to prop up their own favorite white boys on a pedestal because apparently people never learn, but also going out and saying every content creator is inherently evil and we shouldn't trust any of them. these people are human. they're all going to fuck up at some point, some worse than others. and sometimes they'll fuck up in a way that they can move past and we can forgive them for, and other times they'll fuck up in a way that shows they shouldn't have the platform they have. they're not all terrible, and they're not all perfect. that's what we should be keeping in mind for the future.

[dandylovesturtles]

@theplacewhereidumpmyinterests I can't talk about most of them because they're part of an AU verse I want to keep secret until I have the first fic that's part of it written, and idk when that will be (by summer?? HOPEFULLY??), but I guess I can talk about the other one because idk if/when I will write a fic for him (I'd like to but like I am only human)

"more AUs Dandy?" LISTEN all I do is sit around and think about "what if"s, okay?

ok so this started as me being like, hm, we see Lou Jitsu with a rotating door of women, so many he doesn't seem to remember all their names, so it's not totally out there to think he might have gotten one of them pregnant, right?

and thus Marcus (middle name Kyle) was born! literally!

so the story for this is, Lou Jitsu had a fling with a woman in the early 90s, pre-Big Mama. they were both in agreement that the whole thing was casual and it didn't last very long, but oopsie-daisy about six weeks after their last night together she finds out she's pregnant.

she debates what to do for a bit, because, as established, Lou Jitsu is kinda a fuckboi and she doesn't really want a relationship with him. But once she decides she's definitely keeping the baby she feels like she can't just not tell him, right? so she tries!

...unfortunately he's dating Big Mama by that point and she interferes to make sure that Lou Jitsu never meets with the woman and never finds out, because she knows this would get in the way of her plans.

she takes never hearing back from LJ as a sign he just isn't interested in the kid and resolves to single-motherhood. which she is the best at, btw.

she's still considering trying to introduce Marcus to his dad at some point, but unfortunately her kid isn't even 5 before Lou Jitsu suddenly goes missing, with his teary fiancée telling a sob story to the cops. assuming, same as everyone else, that he's dead, she lets the whole thing go, though she does tell Marcus who his dad is once he's old enough to understand everything.

Marcus goes through periods of being obsessed with Lou Jitsu, watching all his movies and consuming every piece of media about him that he can find, and periods where he can't stand to even hear the name. it's up and down. from his perspective, LJ abandoned him and his mom, but he's also dead, so it's not like he can have closure on this ever, right? so it's just a thing he has to deal with on his own.

but he's fine! he's alright. he gets through high school, then college, then accepted into vet school just fine.

then... his mom gets sick and dies.

yeah, that's a hard blow.

but he's alright! he has a few buddies from college he still sees now and then, and he's started his zoo vet residency at the Bronx Zoo (with a particularly special interest in reptiles), so lots of new people to meet that way! he's doing great! he's not lonely at all!

(a few months ago, he was suddenly woken up by a surge of something, like dozens of voices were crying out to him for help, tugging him toward something, saying his family needs him...

yeah, no idea what that was about. he doesn't have any family anymore.)

then the sky opens up and aliens come out.

Marcus is at work, because of course aliens would attack at the beginning of his shift. he spends the day ushering survivors into safe zones within the zoo, using his medical knowledge to handle first aid, and just trying to stay sane as the whole world turns upside down.

and then just as suddenly as it all started... it stops.

in the aftermath, everyone around him is just trying to get home, desperately calling their loved ones and praying for the best. Marcus starts trying to figure out how he's going to get home, because the trains definitely aren't running, and as he looks as his phone for a spark of inspiration, he realizes... no one has tried to call him. his coworkers' phones have been going off all day, whenever they can get signal, as loved ones try to reach them, but... he doesn't have anyone trying to reach him. and as he sits there he realizes he doesn't know who he should be calling, either.

so. that's pretty depressing.

and as he's sitting there, thinking about his life and what led him here, in a now empty vet clinic outside the bronx zoo... he hears a noise. and then, voices.

ah great. looters.

at first, Marcus tries to call 911 - but obviously the call center is swamped. so he decides to take care of the problem himself, going to see who's there and get rid of them...

wait, who is he kidding? he's definitely not paid enough to confront potentially armed looters! he's going to get out of here.

but just as he starts to leave, he hears the voices again - coming from one of the surgery rooms this time. and they're talking about IVs... scalpels... anesthesia...

suddenly he realizes that these aren't looters - they're here to try and treat somebody.

and like hell is he going to let some idiot kill someone trying to do DIY surgery.

so he turns back around and bursts into the room... on two humans, a rat that counts as giant even for New York, and four very big, very injured turtles.

one of whom immediately points a gun in his face. to be fair, that's what he thought would happen.

"Donnie!" yells the biggest one, and, oh, they can talk. huh.

"Relax, it's just a tranquilizer!"

"Donatello!" that's the rat. there's a sound like a whip cracking and the one with the gun makes a startled noise and drops it.

now the rat is in front of him. he's looking up at Marcus imploringly. "Do you work here?" he asks.

"Y-yeah. I'm a vet."

the rat bows very politely. "my sons are seriously hurt, and I don't have the supplies to help them at home. I understand it is a lot to ask, but... we must use your supplies. please, if you could just look the other way."

Marcus looks around at the turtles, especially the one on the table, the one worst off. he looks mangled. he won't live long if he isn't properly treated.

a rat, two humans who look like teenagers, and the turtles. who the rat called "sons". now that he's noticing, they're all pretty short, other than the big one. are they also teenagers?

"...Are any of you doctors?" he asks. the littlest one starts to raise a hand, but the girl grabs it and forces it back down.

everyone else has left by now. he's the only doctor here.

alright. guess he's doing this.

"...okay, everyone make some room. let me get sterilized, and I'll see what we're working with here."

and that's how the son Lou Jitsu didn't know he had becomes primary care doctor to his teenage mutant ninja half-brothers. ^^

(and then a bunch of other stuff happens)

[wolfgirlguts]

When you eat soneone, do you make it s point to let their friends family or partners know *exactly* what happened to the preything?

It really depends! A lot of times after I finish digesting someone I don't give them any more thought at all afterwards. And if I ran into someone who knew them afterwards I wouldn't usually know it. And I doubt it would come up naturally. You don't exactly go around telling random people what you had for lunch, you know?

But if someone dropped their phone while I was gulping them down and it didn't break and it wasn't locked, I might start going through it out of boredom. It's fine, it belongs to me as much as its owner does now after all. And I might respond to messages or post a couple selfies to their social media to give some closure to the whole thing, if I feel like it. Nothing I'll keep up with in the long run but seeing the reactions is usually pretty amusing.

I've had girls ask me to hold off just long enough for them to make a goodbye post, or call their partner(s), and it's hard for me to wait when I've got my sights on someone, but I usually let them do it as long as they keep it quick because that's not unreasonable

Hmm, they should make an app for prey that lets them write a message ahead of time and choose a list of people to send it to, then all they've gotta do is press one thing to send it when they start getting gulped down. That would really streamline the whole thing

Now if it's someone I know a little better, not just a random snack, I'm much more accommodating for fulfilling simple last requests. But idk my prey friends usually already tell everyone they want to know by the time I get around to eating them anyway.

[tieronecrush]

exile

joel miller x reader

rating: M

word count: 3.1k

summary:

i think i've seen this film before / and i didn't like the ending / i'm not your problem anymore / so who am i offending now? / you were my crown / now i'm in exile, seein' you out / i think I've seen this film before / so i'm leavin' out the side door

warnings: break up, discussion about closure or lack there of, talk about grief, death, self-doubt, self-deprecation, idk man it’s just sad

a/n: second fic for the folklore anthology!! hope you all enjoy, sorry for the sadness lol <3

It’s an early start — the crisp early spring air swirls around in gusts while the fresh blanket of dew squishes under his boots as he walks over to the stables. Lilac skies watercolor above, the last of the winter dawn painting yellowed strokes across the horizon as the sun rises, reflecting against the thirst-quenched earth.

Billows of his tepid breath puff in front of him, walking through the warmth of each exhale as he makes his way forward and across the paddock to the stalls. Rubber soles scuff onto rough concrete under the cover of the roof, neighs of horses and huffs of their breath vibrating their lips the only sound that fills his ears when he looks down the aisle to see you. Standing in the pen that holds Shimmer, Ellie’s beloved mare, you brush her chestnut coat as you prep to saddle each animal for the incoming patrol shift.

Joel meanders down the walkway over to the stable across from you that holds his own horse, Old Beardy, which he bonded with over lengthy patrol shifts. After the horse that Tommy had loaned them to reach Colorado, Callus, was killed by David and his men, Joel had chosen a similarly colored one in Old Beardy. It was another painful reminder he forced upon himself of what he had gone through — what Ellie had gone through — and what he did to get her through it. He never wanted to forget, not that he thought he ever could, and this was a small piece that added up to keep him weighed down by his choices and guilt every day.

It was that same guilt that burrows into his chest now as he looks at you while he saddles his horse. Nothing is spoken, not even a glance sent his way; completely ignored, the cold shoulder chilling him more than the early morning temperature. 

You had left him a few weeks ago now — completely blindsided him when you sat him down in his living room and broke another crack into his heart. At that point, he didn’t think it was possible to feel any more fragmented than he did for the last twenty years, but you quickly became another piece of his heart destroyed by his actions. It had to have been something he did, what it was he doesn’t have a clue. But with the way you cared for him, loved him for that fleeting time, he would have never chosen to give that up and he couldn’t see a reason why you would either.

He had to know.

It was keeping him up at night — that and his nightmares that seem to have never ceased. Around here, he doesn’t have his knockout combination of pills and alcohol to keep his ghosts at bay, so he’s faced with them every evening, creeping in along with the midnight.

You would help him, talk him through, remind him of the good in him, even though he never fully believed you.

He misses you.

He loves you.

Crossing the aisle again after slipping out of the stable of his horse, he takes a breath before leaning his arms onto the walled gate that separates the two of you. Breaking the fragile silence that floated in the air for the last few minutes, Joel speaks lowly despite you two being the only ones around.

“Morning.”

Silence.

“Need any help with the horses?”

More silence, the thud of the leather saddle being thrown over Shimmer’s back clapping in the stale air. 

He persists.

“Now I know you probably don’t wanna hear anything from me, peach, but I just gotta ask you — what happened? To us. I’ve been wracking my brain to try to figure it out, but—but I gotta admit, darlin’, I thought things were alright. That we were starting a peaceful life together.”

He lifts his arms off of the gate, standing up straight as he waves one arm out in a gesture toward his house — the house that you used to spend every single night in, the pieces of you strewn throughout. Flowers on the kitchen table, dog-eared books on the couch, clothes thrown onto the floor and into his hamper, your favorite lavender soap from the apothecary withering away in his shower marking the time you two were together. It sits untouched now, still as full as the last time you used it, another reminder of your absence.

“But then, just out of the blue, you were gone. You took just five whole minutes to neatly pack up the loose ends of us, talkin’ to me as you grabbed all your things from my house, wiping the presence of you completely. And when you left me standin’ in the hall, you left me with it, that guilt. And all I could do was just stand there with all this love that I needed to give to you, watching you walk away without any goddamn clue as to why you were leaving. It wasn’t fucking fair.”

Joel crosses the threshold of the stall, standing only a few feet away from you as his frustrations begin to fully air, slithering out of him with venom laced behind his tone. He doesn’t want to feel this angry, this upset. But this hurt in his chest hasn’t been felt for years and it’s killing him, squeezing everything in him out.

“And now,” he nearly growls out, “Now I hear around town you got some other man around for you. That you got over us so quickly, found someone new to spend your time with. Did I really mean that little? To be able to tidy up real quick and move on?”

A laugh barks out at that — he can see it on your face how ridiculous you think whatever he said, something he said in all that was. It only fuels the fire inside of him, boiling up to his ears and over to the point he must have steam coming out of him.

What the fuck was so funny?

Here he was, being honest about his feelings and you were laughing.

The steel toe of one of his boots knocks against the wooden walls as he kicks it gently, turned away as he starts to listen to you open the floodgates. Your hands pause their work, turning away from the toasted brown horse to face him fully. Hands on your hips and head tilted to one side, your stare burns the back of his neck as he stands away.

“Really, Joel? There’s nothing you can understand about why I might have left you?” Your eyebrows furrow with your own fury, deep creases that he has only seen from concern for him, his wellbeing, and Ellie’s. Anger is a new look on you, and it isn’t one he is feeling fond of causing for you. That storm of guilt rumbles inside of him; another reason to hate himself for making you feel something you rarely do, making you into something you’re not — bitter.

“Also, I don’t really think you’ve got a right to be upset with me and bringing up that stupid shit bein’ said around town. I left the bar with one guy, one time. The rumor mill snatched up that story from the few people that saw us leave. Didn’t even go home with him cause I couldn’t stop seeing you like a fucking ghost. I left and you are still consuming my brain. I still wonder every day if you’re okay; if you’re still even here.”

That whips his head over his shoulder, the fracturing of his heart felt even deeper, a cut to his bones from your words. He never knew that you knew — what he had tried years ago. Admittedly, the thought crossed his mind again once, and only once. It quickly dissipated when you stepped into his room, your tender smile eager to tell him about your day. He loved listening to you, being a sounding board and an observer. How could he ever give that up? How could he ever hurt you?

Apparently, he didn’t need to wonder anymore. He did that without even realizing it.

Mouth agape as you continue, crease between his brows shadowed as he takes a step closer to you, the pull of your red-hot rage driving him nearer to your molten center. It was the one way to feel your warmth again, even if it was more like burning at that point.

“I can’t believe that you would even give that gossip a second thought. Must be grasping at straws there. But I guess that proves my point, the reason that I left.”

You turn away to handle the animal again, shaking your head wildly and rolling your eyes at yourself. His own frustrations bubble again, another step closer as he walks around your shoulder to your field of vision. A head tilt of his own, a nonchalant shrug.

“And how do you figure that, darlin’? Please, enlighten me,” his words cut into the air, attempting to antagonize you in a subconscious effort to keep you talking, to keep you around.

“God, that’s so fucking rich coming from you, Joel. Wanting explanations, wanting me to open up so you can understand. That’s why I left. I tried so hard to get you to open up to me, to let me in, and to be even the smallest bit vulnerable. I wanted you to show me that you trusted me. When I met you before you left with Ellie, things felt different. And when you came back, you had been getting more and more closed off the longer we were spending time together. I don’t know what happened out there if something happened between you and Ellie, and I don’t need all the details, but I needed something. And I gave you so many chances — second, third, hundredth chances to give me something that could show me you trust me or could even grow to trust me, but that didn’t come. All I wanted was to help you, Joel. I care about you so much. I loved you. But it didn’t seem like you felt the same. Never told me you felt the same.”

A step away from him, arms around your chest to protect your heart — from him? From breaking again? He didn’t know you needed the words; he tried to show you through his actions, his touch, the care he took of you. Words never came easy to him, actions did.

“And now, you’re being this fucking alpha, masculine man stomping in here and talkin’ to me about how you hear I was with some guy. Actin’ like I’m just trying to make you jealous like he was some understudy or rebound. Well, nothing happened like I said, so you can wipe off the face that looks like you’re gonna go get your knuckles bloody for me.”

The crease in his brow resolves, the sour twist of his lips relaxing as he drops his head in shame. You were right, always right. He would knock the lights out of the guy if you said one more word — if you said that you had moved on for real.

“All of it, still being around you and being reminded of you all the time, it feels like I’m trying to balance again on breaking branches. And every time I see you around, in person or in my head like a shadow following me around, those eyes — your stupid brown eyes pleading with me, they just add insult to injury.”

“I wanted to help you, Joel, to just be there to help you mend, even a little bit. But you never gave me a chance.”

A sigh slips from his lips, barely audible. You turn away as he steps toward you, tender eyes and gentle touch resting on your shoulder. When you don’t recoil, one of his rough, work-worn hands grabs your chin between his thumb and index finger, turning your head to meet his eyes as he quietly speaks, lower than the whole conversation has been.

“I never knew that is what you were worried about, darlin’. I’m fine, there wasn’t anything that happened between Ellie and I ‘cept that ambush at the hospital that I told you about. I didn’t think I was actin’ any differently than before.”

A scoff, shaking your head out of his grasp and pushing your hands against his chest to separate. You slip away, crossing the stall to grab more gear to dress the horse in.

“You are unbelievable.”

Now he’s really getting annoyed.

“What? What is so unbelievable?” His voice booms, echoing a bit in the empty horse barn, biting back his tongue as you close your eyes tightly. He opens his mouth to apologize for raising his voice, but your raised hand stops him.

“It’s obvious you are not fine, Joel, and you can’t even admit it now after I’ve told you that all I wanted was for you to be open. You can stop running. Slow down. Live. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself in silence.”

He scoffs and shakes his head, looking away as he works his jaw back and forth before he turns to you again, “I couldn’t read your mind! All this time, I never learned to read your mind. I can’t read Ellie’s mind — I can’t figure it out with either of you. Two of the most important people, two of the handful of people that I am still around for, have distanced themselves from me and I can’t seem to pull myself together to figure it out. I feel like I’m drowning out here on my own and I’m not even being thrown a fucking life raft. You never gave me time to turn things around, you never gave me a warning sign of what was goin’ on.”

The tightness in your shoulders falls, curling you smaller into yourself, and there goes another crack in his heart. Broken like old pavement when the Earth shifts, takes destroying it all to rebuild it.

Tired. You look so tired, and he aches with the thought that he’s exhausted you, even away. What is he going to do if he is open with you? Isn’t he going to be more of a burden?

No, he wouldn’t let himself. He would be honest with you. But there is no expectation that he could be fixed, that you could shoulder any of this weight he’s carried for twenty years. It’s lighter to him now, endurance built to keep himself under it without getting crushed.

“Joel…I gave so many signs. I checked in with you every day, I asked you directly how you were doing. A lot of the time, after long days, you’d be so short with me. Either annoyed or just brushing me off and changing the subject. So when asking you didn’t work, I tried to open up more myself to try to get you to feel comfortable talking to me about anything. You would just listen and move on. Nothing inspired you to give me even a little sliver of yourself, of your heart. I closed myself off more and more cause it felt like I was prying with someone who couldn’t even care less about me. You didn’t even notice that we didn’t touch, we didn’t kiss, we were barely intimate with each other in those last few weeks — we completely drifted, Joel. I tried to give you so many signs before I couldn’t take it anymore. You didn’t even see the signs.”

Thoughts and memories rewind in his head like an old tape, picking up patterns in himself and in you that he has been too blind to see. All he wanted was to move on, sweep it under the rug and live whatever life he could with you, with Ellie.

“I’m sorry, peach. I am so sorry. I swear on my fucking grave that I had no idea this was all happening for you — I was too in my own head. My heart is hurtin’ so much without you around; knowing I did something to push you away. And hearing what you were holdin’ in ‘cause I was bein’ too closed, too selfish to see what was wrong? It is destroyin’ me. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really am.”

No response is given to him. He watches as you bend your arms, lifting them to press the backs against your eyes. They turn and run over your face, an ache in him to reach his own out to pull yours away, replace them with his own to hold your beautiful face again. When he speaks up again, he sounds like a child — soft, pleading for the punishment to end.

“Could you ever, I don’t know how to ask this really, but could you ever give me another chance? Would you?”

His eyes are glossing over, vision blurring slightly at the edges as you meet his gaze. A deep, exhausted sigh rolls from your chest, head shaking back and forth as your stare leaves him, running a million yards away somewhere.

“I—God, I don’t know, Joel. It felt like I was just there to give you comfort when you wanted it, when you thought you needed it, and that was it. That was my purpose to you. That you didn’t even want to try to open up, to build trust or anything between us. Things would really have to change for me to feel ready to try again.”

Another step brings him a foot away from you, the itch in his fingers too much to ignore anymore as he guides his hand up, caressing your cheek and brushing his thumb along the line of the high bone there.

“Sweetheart, honey, I’ll be better. If you give me another chance, I’m gonna do better by you. Gonna try more. I promise, peach. I’m not gonna fuck this up.”

Eyes flutter shut under his touch, the weight of your head falling into his gentle care a bit heavier.

When they open again, he can see resolve has been built. A defensive wall put back up after leaning in too much into the temptation of jumping back into the deep end.

“Can I have some time to think about it?”

Selfishly, he wishes you would just jump, dive into his waters with him so you can offer him a lifeline.

“Of course, peach. You come ‘round whenever you wanna talk. I’m gonna be there for you. Whenever.”

His lips press to your hairline, large hand stroking at the back of your head before he pulls away and exits the stall, crossing over to lead Old Beardy out of the stables to mount for patrol.

With his back to you, he doesn’t see the shaky breath you take, composure crumbling as you lean your head against the leather saddle, teardrops littering the surface.

taglist: @wannab-urs @atinylittlepain @bearsbeetsbeskar @serenaxpedro @casa-boiardi @rav3n-pascal22 @dinsdjrn @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @johnwatsn @amanitacowboy @leeeesahhh @isitmelookin4u @javiscigarette @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sugarspiceanthrax @orphanbird95 @space-cowboy-like-me @tuquoquebrute @rsquared31 @morning-star-joy @canseethebrushstrokes @atremises @sstarboy777 @undrthelights @butiknewyoudlinger @dayrdreaming @disassociation-daydreams @joelsversion @ginger-swag-rapunzel @mydailyhyperfixations @diamndx @mingiast @kdogreads @blxsphemy7 @marchai @littlevenicebitch69 @ghostofbrock @iwrotethissky @ladynightingale @jksprincess10 @swiftispunk @pr0ximamidnight @beskarandblasters @northernbluess

[penguinkyun]

chapter 159 review

trigger warning: this chapter deals with a canon suicide which will be referenced. please click off if it affects you! your mental health is important

this is the second chapter in a row thats accompanied by me having a fever. not sure if that says anything. anyway

i take back very little of what I said last time because the point about ruby not surpassing ai still holds, but at least she wasn't stabbed like ai. at least.

instead we got the comedy of akane wearing a knife proof vest with ichigo planning the whole thing. and yknow what im actually totally fine with this. its better than ruby being stabbed and its inadvertent subtext of "ruby is a better idol than ai, so much so she survived being stabbed" that comes with the scenario where it actually was ruby who was stabbed and survives especially with the surrounding hamfisted narrative of ruby surpassing ai

i really do like the significance of ichigo correcting his mistakes with ai by making sure no one dies in the second attack, because he is the character who has to correct his failures relating to ai's death. its great that he gets to do that in this chapter!

whats not great is him using a 19yo girl as bait in order to correct said failures. what if nino went for the throat? but then again it is in line with ichigo's character *gestures at him guilt tripping aqua in 108*

whats funny is that ichigo apparently knew ryousuke and nino were dating and just did not investigate her in the least. i could play devil's advocate for him here and say that even if he did investigate nino, ai hid who the father was and idk if nino wouldve given hikaru up at that point and theres no real way to get concrete evidence hikaru and ryousuke knew each other, not to mention goros death wasnt found out until 16 years later and even then you cant connect ryousuke to it, but thats all flimsy, paper thin justifications. cmon aqua was better at the revenge job when he was 16 and akanes been doing it better for years, ichigo do better you failed at investigating 101

(cinemasins voice) akane has double hoshigans in this chapter but last chapter she had only one hoshigan

get yourself a murderer who apologises after stabbing you

another giggle is ichigo going (shocked pikachu voice) NINO?! when her hood falls because like. Did You Not Know it was nino? like you really didn't? did you just expect someone to attack on the day of the final concert like what happened to ai? why would you expect that? i can definitively say aqua didnt tell him because aqua said shit in 155 to ichigo, but apparently neither did akane??? he really just expected it to happen. what was he gonna do if the attack happened at the concert?? what was the plan here ichigo??

155!akane: i cut my hair because i didn't feel the need to imitate hoshino ai anymore

158-9!akane: so i'll larp as her daughter instead!

i will say that this dialogue of ninos is actually what ive always thought was part of her thought process

Nino: "If Ai was nothing but an ordinary girl, what would that have made the rest of us then? I just want Ai to be “special.”`

my interp of nino was always that her idolization of ai was her coping mechanism for dealing with the Everything in first gen bkomachi, a coping mechanism that turned into an true belief after ai died because she doesnt want to face the facts about her and ai's relationship: that ai wasnt invincible, nino did hurt her and they never made up. its protection against the sheer grief and regret that would overwhelm her because she never received any closure in regards to that which was compounded by the disbandment of bkom a mere 2 years later, losing her boyfriend and her idol so horrifically (especially after she told them to die) and the years of mismanagement in bkomachi because. all she really wanted to be was friends with ai. and if they were really ordinary girls they would've made up, right? but they didnt and now nino has to live with that

nino saying she wanted to be friends with ai too is all the emotional catharsis and closure i had hoped she would get since 132 and im really glad to see that its here

unfortunately that catharsis is preceded by the plot contrivance that is nino stabbing ruby in the first place which is further duct taped together by the reason nino went after ruby which is that ruby apparently surpassed ai which — no she didn't

and that total plot device becomes even more bullshit by this chapter, where ruby is mimicking ai right down to the cut of her idol dress, her poses and double white hoshigans which gives the message that yeah. ai really was the greatest and most invincible idol who nobody could rival. because even in what is supposed to be rubys moment of triumph at reaching new heights, shes not allowed to do it by her own unique charisma.

ruby has to be shown surpassing ai visually, but because the set up was so utterly hamfisted, all thats left to show her doing so is making her do ai's own poses instead of letting what makes ruby an effective idol shine through, because her character has been so butchered, her original love and compassion for idols and life and the people around her were molded to fit whatever the plot needed to be that this moment, which is supposed to be ruby's shining moment, it just. it just rings hollow.

throughout the latter half of the movie arc shes been wanting to surpass ai on her own terms but shes not allowed to do so and instead ends up just being Ai. its all of the payoff with none of the required set up

speaking of payoffs and setups, kanas situation is the total inversion of this where kana has all the set up for her romantic resolution, her chance to shine the brightest on stage and turn everyones glowsticks white and there's absolutely no payoff. she isnt even the centre in her own graduating concert! aqua isn't there to watch her spellbinding performance because hes dealing with his father whos possibly an antagonist again so her one dream from 151 doesn't get fulfilled! she's gotten utterly pushed to the side because akasaka brute forced the "ruby surpasses ai" in 158 and realised it had to be fulfilled and thus we got whatever the hell was this final bkomachi concert. kana gets tiny singing panels with two dedicated to her solo act (which was actually nice to see at least she Did get the spotlight and her tearing up about graduating ;-;) while ruby gets the biggest, shiniest panels at kana's graduation concert and mem? who's mem? she's barely there and honestly feels like an afterthought with how her age scandal just had no tangible impact whatsoever on literally anyone! it just feels like a thread akasaka just wanted to get out the way

in general the handling of bkomachi's structure, especially now that kana is leaving and mem will age out soon along with her applying to colleges, along with how mem's reveal impacted their presence in the industry, and the impact of ruby's black hoshigan shenanigans severely skewing the popularity to her side has been incredibly lacking and its honestly just sad considering how important B-Komachi as a whole is to all of their characters.

and this scene just pisses me off entirely on ruby and bkomachi again but i ranted about that enough in 158 askhfskd moving on

coming back to nino and ryousuke for a second its honestly a little funny that nino's gay crush on ai was so strong she forgave ryousuke for jumping ship to another idol

on that note though it does touch on something re: nino and her idolisation of ai being her coping mechanism. of course everyone would move from her to ai, ai is the best , of course she would lose all relevance in bkomachi, ai is the best, of course her boyfriend would choose ai, ai is the best. it makes it easy for her to cope with being so strongly and so deeply in ai's shadow — if ai was imperfect that means nino would have to face the hurt, anger and sadness at constantly being second choice when in consideration with ai, that she would have to face that she deeply hurt ai, because that would mean ai was just as normal as her and that would mean that nino wasn't good enough. but if ai was Perfect then its obvious, isn't it? you pick the prettiest flowers after all.

although nino telling two people to die and then they actually do is. yikes. i want to hug her

speaking of ryousuke, the question of nino saying "ever since we let him die..." (mangaplus TLed it as "killed him" but that is a mistranslation which is also proved incorrect by this chapter) is answered here! i had originally assumed it meant they failed to stop him from committing suicide and that's...partially true. on the timeline, its a bit difficult to pinpoint when exactly nino yelled at ryousuke, but considering she says she forgave him for jumping ship and then says `when i told him to go die, he obeyed me just like that` when the visuals clearly show her in shock, that implies in the small window between ai dying and ryousuke committing suicide, he might have called nino in a panic, probably on a payphone and she yelled at him to die in her panic and anger at hearing yknow. that he killed ai. and that was his last straw and then she found him dead when she went to search for him

that still doesn't answer my question of how on earth ryousuke and hikaru got to the hospital ai was at

and so besides all of what i just said about nino, her and ryousuke is clearly a blatant retcon <33. none of it remotely makes sense in an in-universe context line up of events and like basically the only thing it confirms is that ichigopro really were lax about dating. net zero information gained

that being said akane implying that someone else was behind all of the murderous shenanigans going on and that someone being implicitly confirmed to be hikaru by aqua's dialogue is just...why? why bother with the nino red herring? it's a bit hard for me to put a finger on why exactly i don't really like this, but it's like. 154 showed him to be utterly defeated and depressed over ai still loving him and him having killed her and being the final end to their love story it really felt like hikaru was going to do something to make up for it! the 158 phone call even implies this! but by what akane and aqua say here, it gives the feeling of hikaru having been behind ai's and also now, what would have ruby's attempted stabbing? with making him do a deranged yandere smile to boot? it just feels off

i dont really want to make any predictions just yet so i'll just. watch where this goes

i did like aqua's mephisto jacket tho

no break next week!!!

[lightlycareless]

but what reaction would the zenins have , especially naoaki 😳🤯 with the babies

Hi!!! I'm going with the twin girls au :> although these can be in general 🤔

Off we go to the reactions from the rest of the estate.

Being real, I think most of the clan would not like the fact that the heir had two girls to begin with. However, since Naoya and Y/N are known for being strong sorcerers by themselves, it was only natural that their kids would inherit those talents.

However, they'd still find a way to make them feel less, either by giving backhanded compliments, or voicing how a "son" would've been much better.

Naoya would immediately shut down those comments. We're talking about a man that has now learned how wrong his family is (in more ways than one) and having suffered from similar comments in the past, understands all too well how hurtful they could be, so he tries to shield his children the best he can.

As for reactions, let me put it like this:

Mai and Maki would love your kids, cause they love you very much :> there's no denying that. Would play with them as often as possible, they're like (are) the cool aunts. SPECIALLY if they're girl twins like them, it's probably the first time they ever felt happy with being twins I reckon.

Junko, Mai and Maki's mom, would keep her distance. It's not like she dislikes the kids, she just feels uncomfortable—however, she would like to watch the babies from time to time, silently gush at how adorable they are and remind her of when her daughters were babies too.

Ogi couldn't care less—in fact, I think he'd hate them just because they're a reminder of what he could've had, but didn't. No one allows him to get close to the kids, not even his wife.

Jinichi is in complete awe that Naoya would want to have kids in the first place, but not surprised that he went through with it. He's very precise when it comes those things, and from there he'll just stare at him and you whenever interacting with the kids—idk, he still doesn't believe it's happening. I guess in my mind he never considered that his family would want to have kids (Toji is like the prime example of that)

Naobito is... idk. He never really cared about having kids, so anything about lineage and whatnot is irrelevant to him, but I guess that in the deep confines of his mind he likes the fact of having grandchildren. Specially if they're strong, he'd be very proud of them, show off that they're related to him and whatnot. Do not expect him to be involved, and honestly? You and Naoya are kind of happy he isn't.

As for Naoaki, Naoya's oldest brother... he'd be shocked that the two eventually made amends, enough to have a family together. He just never thought the two were each other's type, or that it was in Naoya's plans to become a father. But it happened, and he just keeps his distance as well. Maybe he hoped he'd be that man, the one to have your kids or something, who knows. Either way, in the short moments he'll be able to see the kid, he'll note that they look like you, as maybe even hope that they act like you too. This whole situation is 100% the reason he stops talking to you all together. It's the official closure of that chapter.

And I don't think I'm missing any other relevant character :> I'd say that most of Naoya's brother would be somewhat confused that Naoya is possible of having adorable children or something hahaha although everyone thinks it's thanks to your genes 😂

Thank you so much for indulging me with this ask!! I want more baby stuff :') I'll see what I can write.

Have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[etinceelle]

Honestly, it bugs me that Ruby's never been allowed to hold onto any version of Penny's swords she's ever picked up, because Floating Array's blades are the RIGHT size to sever as the blade on Crescent Rose's scythe form.

They even unfold in a similar way!

Can you imagine if Crescent Rose's blade had been damaged in Volume 3, and Ruby replaced it with the piece of Floating Array she had picked up to defend Pyrrha?

Like... Let the poor girl keep mementos of her girlfriend, CRWBY!

I wish this can be something they do in future volumes, if they happen. I mean I know she didn't come back with the sword, and that pains me, but idk I'm still hoping for idk (I'm saying nonsense here), Jaune being like "oh btw Ruby I found that before we went back home and thought you might want to keep it lol"

But okay. In a way. (the delusional part starts here oops)

That could mean there's a c h a n c e for Penny to come back since there wasn't really any closure about all that. I talked about this a lot and made a lot of theories already (which I would love to illustrate *explodes in a positive way*), but all the suppositions, weird elements and wordings or scenes of V9 about Penny, and the fact that Pietro is still alive probably trying to grieve-- and especially the fact that the Penny topic wasn't adressed yet in a "conclusive" way to me. I feel like Pyrrha got more closure because like, Jaune kept parts of her weapon, parts of her, he saw her statue, and it's like they continue to move forward after that. Maybe something similar will happen in Vacuo for Penny, but like... What if the fact that Ruby didn't get the possibility to get Penny's weapon with her is a sign for something else, idk really but I still like to suppose lol.

Either way, Crescent Rose with the green of Penny's blades is like, SUCH a cool idea omg. I saw people draw it several times and it works so well. I'd love Ruby to have that, considering how Penny was important for her.

[atthebell]

the thing to me about the doied stuff, and this is only partially because i hate angst so i wouldn't be that interested in it lingering, is that if it weren't for the entire shitshow that the server had already become and then worsened into, i don't think it would've taken qcellbit very long at all to figure out it wasn't actually roier. i think he would've figured it out pretty damn fast on his own, and then with pepito's help would've really been like "hey, that's not adding up," and would've gotten to the bottom of it immediately. like i'm not trying to be optimistic atp i truly think that would've been solved very quickly and we would've gotten our beautiful reunion.

but because of purgatory in the first place and then cellbit taking breaks and then the reset (where ccs were told not to do lore heavy stuff and then literally weren't able to regardless), we didn't get any of it. cellbit had to shrug off pepito's attempts at pushing him in the right direction because the admins weren't ready for it/wouldn't allow it (and because he and roier both didn't feel up for heavy rp stuff at the time), and roier never got saved and cellbit never came back to the server at all before the final event. so i think it's a bit unfair to be like "cellbit always said he'd recognize an imposter roier and then he didn't!!!!" when in point of fact he literally could not do so within rp. he had to keep his mouth shut and not get suspicious about any differences, and roier himself was barely ever rping anything differently anyway (and said so explicitly). so what we got was a whole lot of nothing, not through either of their faults (and i don't want to blame anyone other than higher ups and broader communication issues for the choices made here).

idk it just rubs me the wrong way when people ignore meta reasons for things when they really are important for this kind of stuff within the narrative. like, it's not cellbit's fault either that his murder arc got cut short and never got a conclusion-- that was directly because of purgatory! despite him being told literally days beforehand that he could keep going with the arc and get to do all the stuff he planned! it's not baghera's fault that her federation experiment stuff got dropped completely!!! it's not antoine or charlie or max or pol's faults that their shit got ruined! it's not any rper's fault that they were not communicated with appropriately/plans were abruptly changed on them and therefore they couldn't execute any of their planned lore. it's where the cards fell, because of decisions out of their control, and that blows and means there's no canonical closure, but that doesn't mean that like. qcellbit canonically failed to recognize someone else in his husband's skin. it just means that cellboier didn't get to do what they had planned (like four times over, tbc, because they had stuff planned before the eggs went missing, before purgatory, before the reset, and then even after the reset) and the story never got to be finished. which is depressing and disappointing but it feels inaccurate to frame the characters themselves as at fault.

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

so over the weekend (literally two days) i watched 16 of the 18 episodes of season 3....... so here's my thoughts!!!!

i've already professed my love for the characters more than enough but i just need to remind everyone that i am sosososo in love with all these fucking characters, what a truly insanely likeable lineup of different personalities

eddie getting buck to babysit chris so he stops being stuck in a depressive spiral.... genius

the earthquake episodes last season were insane, but the tsunami disaster?????? off the charts. the scenes with buck and chris were fucking beautiful, i love this duo and need more of them NOW. buck cares about that kid so goddamn much. and while tired and injured he saves idk how many more people. the way him and chris are fighting for their lives and then buck is desperately looking for chris all while eddie thinks they're completely safe. eddie was freaking out last season because his son was stuck in a school, but he was calm during this disaster because he was with BUCK. it makes me so emotional. im sosososo glad that i had seen the outcome of chris being found before watching the episode bc idk how people who didnt know that beforehand could handle it. the scene with eddie finding buck with chris' glasses???? im going to start crying. and after all of that for buck being so sure eddie wouldnt trust him anymore only for him to drop off chris again like its nothing?? im going to sob

from what i have read online the lawsuit storyline is a very divisive topic in the fandom. i kind of see both sides. i can see that buck thought his hands were tied and that the only family he had was replacing him. but i know at the same time that it's an overreaction. bobby didnt have any reason to have buck stay on leave for that long when chimney proudly proclaims he went back to work after only a couple of weeks. i understand that bobby cares about buck like a son somewhat, but he was not being fair. buck also shows that he didn't really want to cause as much hurt and friction between them by apologising again and again and not even thinking about accepting the money, going back to the 118 even though he knew they were going to make it difficult for him. it was a tricky situation, but im glad they moved on from it fairly quickly.

the fight club eddie storyline is kind of wild????? also did he ever get any reporcussions from bobby for that??? men will literally do anything but talk about their issues and deal with their feelings. what an insanely gay thing to do.

love eddies conversation with bobby where he starts crying. eddie should cry more often (i say this with love)

lena im in love with you, do you like women?

chris' english teacher is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful

i truly love seeing athena and her family grow and change over time. the relationship between bobby and michael is so important to me. i love them together. and michael's tumor storyline??? heartbreaking.

love albert!

chimney and maddie i love you two soso much you deserve the world, youre so imporant to me. chimney respecting maddies boundaries no matter what.... im gonna cry (A BABY?????????)

the episode of 911 dispatch being taken over might just be one of the best episodes of the series. i especially loved that we got to see characters that other times didnt get as much screentime. LOVE LOVE LOVE JOSH!!!

the athena begins episode is heartbreaking. and beautiful. the closure at the end, with her telling emmet's mother that they made an arrest. how beautiful. really well done. she never gave up on finding that man.

the eddie begins episode is also beautiful. him cutting the fucking rope???? idk how they want me to believe that he swam to safety but whatever..... anyways he loves chris so much and we got to see more of his and shannon's marriage which i loved. to be fair, he was kind of a shitty father and definitely a shitty husband, shannon was clearly not ok and i understand why she left. doesnt make it right, but i understand it. when he gets stuck underground and buck starts losing his mind, screaming, crying, throwing up and bobby gives him /that/ look. oh kill me now. that man was gonna dig by hand .... i love them.

the episode of buck helping that old veteran feel important and not alone at the end of his life? im going to start crying again. buck truly believes that no one will ever love him or choose him or stay with him forever.

michael talking to harry about what being black means when they encounter police was incredibly moving and heartbreaking. but also important. i just love athena's family.

hen hitting that cello girl with the ambulance...... oh i cried so hard, my heart broke for her. karen and her are so amazing together i love them so much, they truly are each other's rock.

i love the buckley siblings. i love the side characters. i love the main characters. i have so many thoughts.

abby....i understand that she had to get away from everything to find herself ok? but she shoudlve just texted or sent a letter to buck just to give him closure and not let him keep haunting her apartment. i dont like them as a couple, this shit has clearly hurt buck deeply and will not be easy for him to get over. she didnt really seem all to apologetic either at the end. i get it but also why did u have to hurt buck by not ever responding and ghosting him????

got so many funny and beautiful scenes this season, it was amazing!!! truly loved every character. it had that gay ass buddie kitchen scene... lol

but anyways....im already done with two episdoes of season 4 so bye

[bleue-flora]

https://www.tumblr.com/bleue-flora/750480278369222656/hate-to-intervene-on-the-discussion-about-the?source=share

sorry late replyy ahh ok I cant believe i just forgot about that part. I litterally wrote out the whole transcript after watching it in my docs and somehow forgot that Tommy wasn't being genuine there. My bad. You're right. Also, with Punz getting closure you've swayed me, I didn't interpret it like that before genuinely.

About the nuke not going off and the no reset, I think the bit at the end showed that both dream and tommy were going to work together, not exactly become friends. I think regardless of their anger with each other, lack of genuine apology, and different methods. They would've of found a way to compromise on how to 'fix the server' I've seen some people theorise that Dream would have gotten rid of the revival book and given up asap. And then Punz would want to stick to the plan and ditch Dream. I mean I don't know entirely about that. It makes it sound like Punz only cared about the book when on so many occasions he has defended Dream. No idea what will happen with the book. Dream didn't believe it was too late anymore, and was relatively open to change, But he is going to take a while to come into terms with what happened, like you said it would take time. maybe the compromise is using the book sparingly but i guess that ruins the point

tommy and tubbo are morally against the revival book and would never agree to go by those methods and majority of the server probably agrees with them except foolish, potentially sapnap since he had the death book, and quackity who wanted the revive book but he'd never work with dream and theres others that I'm forgetting. tommy going back to causing problems?, I agree with however I could see him being more perceptive of the people around him, and avoiding dream now that he realizes dreams human, maybe Im gullible but i interpreted his actions in the final stream as feeling empathetic even though not apologising properly except for the nuke. Theres also the consequences that tubbo would face for setting off a nuke to begin with, that and the fight with dream xd but ig since theres no reset then dream xd got defeated? idk also what happens to lazar and vikk r they just left dead lol. its like 5am for me

Yooo please share the transcript, I love to study them for writing dialogue.

Yea I mean I do think they would try and compromise and work together in some capacity, but I guess what I was saying was I struggle to see Tommy’s behavior change. Maybe I’m wrong, but the fact that their was not genuine admission of guilt or remorse makes me think that Tommy wouldn’t stop being a menace and hurting Dream if the nuke hadn’t happened and Dream wouldn’t stop trying to stop Tommy with whatever means necessary. Maybe I’m wrong though. I don’t know honestly, there’s a lot of variables at play with two very broken, impulsive and emotional characters. So I’m not sure what would have happened if the nuke hadn’t happened (with Tubbo or XD or whatever as well… that shall remain up to people’s aus and fanfiction). But I don’t think things would change between them as fast as we think. If they ever did apologize to each other, it would take time and healing for that to happen. And like they wouldn’t just magically start getting along. In other words, whatever happened next would be complicated and messy, and probably not work out anyways because some of the other characters aren’t about to just let Dream back into the fold.

Having said that, from my understanding it wouldn’t be that Punz or Dream would give up the revive book (it’s not like they can get rid of it since it’s knowledge lol XD), more so just not go through with their plan to kill everyone or whatever. And I certainly don’t think Punz only cared about the book or would continue with the plan without Dream. They were friends before, Punz isn’t just Dream’s friend for payment or immortality and the revive book. 

But anyways… clingy duo are kinda funny in their anti-revive book stance because they really weren’t at first and honestly as Dream actually highlights in the finale [clip] if Tommy had killed himself, would he have been fine with being in limbo - and Tommy does not answer. I I think they were more against the idea of immortality, but missing the point that people on the server seem to be dying well before getting to more natural causes of death like old age - so basically Death is all good and well if it's not premature (and preferably someone else). Like, literally when he does die a few minutes later, he begs Dream and Punz to bring him back. So, while clingy duo talk all high and mighty about the revive book being bad, when push comes to shove, they don’t want to end up in limbo (despite being more than willing to send Dream there). And do the other server members not agree with the revive book? Like I’m not sure that’s true, I don’t particularly remember people talking about how people should stay dead. In fact, people seem to have forgotten about the book so much so that Sapnap is caught off guard by the book when he and Dream talk after the prison break. (where he then immediately wants to get his hands on it…). So I'm not so sure the majority of the server are really against it... 'But that's just a theory. A dream smp theory! Thank for reading.' ;D

[bibibbon]

Maybe you have noticed but in regards Izu...the narrative punish him(fuck you Hori) as well the majority of the fandom. Some Shinso fans think Izu should have come clean to Shinso about his quirk regarding the Izu vs Shinso 2.0 (coincidentally Aizawa stopped trained him after Shinso lost) and how in "Izu and Shinso are friends" Izu should pity Shinso as well we, the readers, while Izu's past is not seen as a big deal.

Some do say " yeah bk was meanie" and that if we are lucky.

I dont get why Shinso thought Izu(the kid who calls himself deku, not dekiru) whose quirk break his bones (of course UA does nothing. Has any teacher help anyone with their quirk?) And is mostly like from poor background is a golden child....

Meanwhile Shinso is really silent about BK.

What I'm trying to say here is...how Hori and the fandom ignore the ramifications of Izu's abuse or use to prop others characters.

"Shinso is a good guy bc he punched BK for Izu" cool...but why cant Izu do that? Why we dont get a word of what Izu thinks about that? Why he cant have closure?

(We see this in ships too. Ochako the super cool GF defeats BK...and Izu's pain is not important, not the healing! He has a gf duh🙄😒)

Yeah this is actually one of the biggest problems I have with the bakugo and izuku relationship/ rivalry or whatever it is (it's definitely not romantic or a friendship) izuku never gets to reflect or be the one to stand up for himself and some people say," oh it's IZUKUS character he doesn't realise that what bakugo has done is bad and he just forgives everyone who ever does him dirty" or something along those lines which really annoys me because ITS COMPLETELY FALSE. We can see in the first chapter after the suicide incident that izuku can actually feel negative emotions towards KATSUKI and that he actually knows and realises that what KATSUKI is doing is WRONG. However, because of hori's love for katsuki he can be never make him seem like the bad guy which 1) ruined katsukis development 2) ruined izukus and other characters development.

Concerning the shinso situation I don't think Izuku has to own up TO NOTHING!! No offence but hori made shinso kind of dumb when he chose that out of ALL hero class students you CHOOSE to target izuku who YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE DOESN'T SEEM TO FIT IN OR GO BY YOUR STUPID SILVER SPOON IDEOLOGY. Iam all for shinso and izuku being friends and I have talked about ways how to change the narrative so izuku and shinso's interactions can make sense in the narrative but yeah idk what's going on with hori.

Lastly, when it comes to izuku and his backstory the fandom mainly ignores it because it's not consistently brought up as something that affected izuku even though we can clearly see it did. Hori also stated that he wished he didn't make bakugo as mean and you can clearly see him try and undermine bakugos actions by making him think about izuku and only izuku also the fandom will eat anything that's BKDK which they think is a better version of saskue and Naruto but in reality this is a toxic wish version.