#idk! the fact it came up when she was twenty fuckin three that she one day wants to marry and have kids

[taylorftparamore]

people interpreting the "1950s shit" as "taylor doesn't want marriage and kids" instead of "taylor doesn't want to be a housewife and stay at home mother dependent on her husband" drives me insane. taylor has always been super vocal about wanting the former, she just doesn't want to have to stop being her own person with a career and dreams and talents! this is so basic and yet 80% of this fanbase can't understand it. (probably because they DO think getting married and having kids means a woman ought to stay home and behave herself and be a domestic servant 24/7. i can already see the concern trolling thinkpieces from "fans" when she goes on tour after having kids)

i will say there WAS a level of sexism in assuming every guy taylor dates is who she is going to marry and have kids with. not every person you date is going to be the "marry and have kids" with kind of person. even if you DO want marriage and kids, it is normal to date around and find the partner that you will connect with and trust enough to marry and have what is effectively a lifelong commitment with. like i see a lot of people scoffing that it would be sexist to remark on her dating life as if she's going to marry and have kids with every guy she meets just because she WANTS that, guys, so it's okay! no. it's fucking not. it WAS a weird "1950s shit" moment in itself.

ultimately, the "no deal, that 1950s shit they want from me" can mean a lot of things. i think the line is signaling taylor is done with input on her love life from strangers, no matter how well-meaning. i think "but daddy i love him" further shuts this down: she wants to explore connections with boyfriends who could become potential husbands without everyone screaming at him to marry her. because uh. that's really fucking weird! it's really abnormal! wanting to marry and have kids is one thing, having the entire world butt in and potentially ruin something because they're pressuring him to marry her asap is another.

there's definitely a weird vibe all around, and it sucks that taylor is put in this weird position where she wants marriage and kids, but every relationship has that pressure put on it right away. she doesn't get the chance to play it cool early in the relationship and feel out the vibe of it. & having every guy you date know tat you want marriage and kids before you can tell him yourself HAS to feel weird and invasive.

there's sooo much nuance in this that i kinda wish people would understand that a normal girl who wants marriage and kids doesn't have it blasted to the entire world, giving her freedom to explore each relationship on its own terms.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[becksfm]

hey CASEY “BECK” BECKHAM , welcome to dillon university . has anyone ever told you you’re GAVIN LEATHERWOOD’s twin ? no ? well okay , i heard you are TWENTY - TWO & a JUNIOR at the university . we hope BIOCHEMISTRY isn’t kicking your ass too much , especially since you’re a STUDENT PHYSICAL TRAINER . see you at the next game, BECK & character’s cismale + he/him . 

it’s me & i’m here for round fuckin’ two , friends . this time i bring you resident GOLDEN BOY . . . a whole 6′1 of soft boy energy . . . floppy overgrown curls . . . king of talking - your - way - out - of - everything . . . retired hockey player . . . a man of Many Talents , of which the most astounding is his ability to look like he’s got it all together when , in fact , he does not ! under the cut , you’ll find a lil more about him . . . & if you wanna plot hmu @ 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣#9956 on discord or pop into my ims here !! 

𝑩 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑮 𝑹 𝑶 𝑼 𝑵 𝑫 .

dillon , texas born & raised . on the outskirts of town is a ranch that is enough to house the beckham family: mom, dad, and all eight beckham children . beck is the second oldest , with one older sister , four younger sisters , and two younger brothers . . . not necessarily in that order . 

mother , sophia mattheson - beckham is a lawyer based in austin working with the ACLU , and father , michael beckham has a small private practice in dillon working as a pediatrician . they weren’t home often , but when they were , they spent as much time with the kiddos as possible . it’s just . . . they were so rarely home that it really didn’t matter. 

with the beckham name, though, comes the pressure to be SOMETHING GREAT , and that’s something that’s been a part of beck’s life since . . . he can remember . little league & kindergarten grades were always taken a little too seriously , and it didn’t help that his older sister was a shining example of perfection . 

growing up it was hard not to like him. he was quiet for the most part , but goofy when he wasn’t . there was a little extra charm about him that just gave him an all around magnetic pull . kids wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be theirs . he fit in , but around home , he was the odd man out . beck was always a little more interested in sports rather than math or music rather than reading . it wasn’t to say he wasn’t smart , it just kind of –– bored him?? where his family was v

there was give and take with beck–– the golden boy of dillon but the black sheep of the family . he could play hockey if he kept his grades up. he could take guitar if he was also on student government and model u.n.. his parents would applaud him on his grades but never cared to hear him play; they’d show up for debates but rarely ever saw a hockey game. it was touch and go, his relationship with them, and it still is.

DESPITE IT ALL though, you wouldn’t catch him complaining. he bore the crown of homecoming king his senior year and never went to a dance without a date. teachers loved him, so did his coaches. he found a best friend in one cameron sloane –– ( because of course he did ) –– when the sloanes moved to dillon , and they were an unstoppable kind’a duo on and off the ice.

when it came time to pick a college, he really . . . had his pick of the lot. coulda gone anywhere, but there were roughly six reasons , all with the same last name , that kept him close to home. his parents even agreed that if he went in as pre-med, they would pay for the whole thing . . . and even make time to watch him play hockey. 

things were good for a long while, until they weren’t. you can usually see the stars on the outskirts of dillon, but one night, his sophomore year, you couldn’t. storm clouds covered ‘em up, and he tried his damndest to get cameron to stick around a celebratory party until it passed, but sloanes are stubborn and there was no changing his mind. 

cam passing away was like losing a brother, and he spent countless hours pacing in a hospital waiting room . . . hoping for good news and never getting it. beck had never known loss like that, and it knocked him into a bit of a tailspin . he quit hockey and didn’t register for school the next year . he spent a lot of time at a family residence in austin and even more time drinking . for the most part . . . he kind of DISAPPEARED , losing himself in the process for a good nine months.

they say it takes a village to raise a kid, and it took a village to drag this one out of a spiral. his parents. his siblings. his friends. and eventually . . .  dillon’s football coaching staff. a loud knock on the door from coach buchanan and a swift kick in the ass from coach sloane, a man who knew the kid almost as well as he’d known his own son. come work for us, they told him . . . and it was a way to get him back on track under a watchful eye that. wasn’t quite as critical as his parents

so that’s where we are now . . . back at dillon, a year behind, and working with both the football and cheerleading team as a physical trainer, playing a heavy hand in making sure both teams are the best conditioned in the state of texas. his grades are looking up, and he’s still on the fast track for med school, much to his –– and his parents’s –– surprise. 

the beckhams don’t talk about his little stint of a spiral. no one in dillon does . . . unless in tones of hushed whispers alongside judgmental looks. beck doesn’t mind it too much ,though . . . even takes it as a challenge 

𝑷 𝑬 𝑹 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 . ( i’m getting tired so this gon be ugly )

you want inspo?? i’ll give ya inspo!! richard campbell gansey the third ( dick 3 babiiiie ) is my main inspo for beck. you’ll also find a lil bit of jim halpert, a lil bit of rob maclanahan from miracle ( even tho he w as a real person too shhh ), and *insert big eyed emoji here* grizz from the society 

ever since he can remember, there’s been pressure on this kid to be something great . . . so he feels like if he has the capability to do something, he has to do it. . . there’s no choice in the matter. a lot of this stems. from his parents, but he’s also really just . . . overly critical of himself sometimes

boy is a fucking PARADOX okay bc sometimes . . . . with the way he talks. . . . he accidentally puts his damn foot in his mouth . he’s smart so occasionally comes off as condescending , but he’s . . . incredible in conversation with people he needs to impress because he’s hella charming

that said... this quote is REALLY important and REALLY summative of beck: “Gansey had always felt as if there were two of him: the Gansey who was in control, able to handle any situation, able to talk to anyone, and then, the other, more fragile Gansey, strung out and unsure, embarrassingly earnest, driven by naive longing.” –– let’s dive into that!! when he feels like he’s got a sense of control of the things around him, when he’s in his element or in his comfort zone, when he’s feeling confident , the boy is a force. he can talk you and anyone else out of any situation, and he has. he can make friends with anyone put in front of him, and he has. when beck is ON . . . he is on . . . but it’s a bit surface level because when he’s not wearing the crown of GOLDEN BOY and he���s . . . vulnerable . . . or unsure . . . or stressed . . . he tends to put that foot of his in his mouth and spit. out whatever it is he’s thinking. he’s honest to a fault in this sense, and he’s hopeful beyond compare. 

an introvert. . . . can CHARM u but doesn’t want to because honestly that is so draining and he’d much rather be at home. the popular type but only has a few friends that are really really close to him

loyal to a fault . . . will give you 392847 chances that you don’t deserve .. fool me once shame on you ! fool me twice shame on me! fool me three time what the fuck bro now ur just taking advantage of me 

very . .. calm and even tempered.  he’s a mediating type and like . . would rather find a conflict resolution than sWING u feel me

he’s cute.  .. . and. people love him but .  . . despite it all, he really doesn’t let that go to his head?? the boy was raised to believe you had to earn things and he’s just. idk . . .. humble king

eloquent as fuck ( lol good luck @ me writing that shit )

quick witted and very sharp

probably a lawful good type ngl :\

Does Not Do Well.With Change. when his older sister left dillon to go to notre dame??? boy damn near blew a gasket how dARE SHE go that far away!!! 

v close with his sibs . .. . activate Dad Mode. he loves all of them equally and definitely does not at all favor the 10 y/o baby brother of the family or his sister closest in age, who is also a student at dillon. doesn’t favor them ONE BIT 

u want a vibe for the beckhams??? “ the beckhams were courtiers and kings . when there was no castle to invite them, they built one” ( we stan ONE weird author lady named maggie)

insomnia!! the boy nEVER SLEEPS1! always thinking. always planning what’s next. gotta go gotta go gotta go.

kind of .. . a hopeless romantic :\ dated the same girl for most of high school but when she fucked off to ole miss she broke up with him in a text. so that .. . . . .. went well for him ..... still a dumb bitch tho and would love to hold ur hand

wire rimmed glasses, wool sweaters, light colored hoodies, distressed denim, cuffed pants, :\ chelsea boots :\

phobia of bees. there’s literally no reason for this other than my own, personal, geeked out pleasure

prank king

Smart Jock Type

plays guitar to relieve stress and you bet baby’s got some pipes here u go 

literally nothing like nicholas scratch DO NOT call him daddy

tall and doesn’t know what to do with all the extra limb like .  . . . . the fuck

will push you to your personal best in any conditioning circumstance

okay I THINK THAT’S ALL . . .. i’m a big fan of basic plots that kinda ebb and flow with chemistry BUT!! gimme the basics man . . . a roommate . . . a past hookup or two . . . some spicy friendships or . . . fRENEMIES even u know the drill

ok that’s all i hope u love him bc i am v nervous about playing A Man buT IT IS WHAT IT IS U KNOW

[topimagines]

Drag Me Down

Summary: when you’re cheated on, what better way to get over it than alcohol and being with your best friends?

A/n: this started as a small scene for future stories, then turned into a request because it was requested, and now i dont even know how to tag it because it sorta turns into a poly fic??? idk, hope you like it

TMZ_TV: Josh Dun, Cheating on his girlfriend? People found the other half of Twenty One Pilots kissing another girl, who was not his girlfriend, y/n y/l/n!

You threw your phone (softly) across the room as the voice continued talking, explaining that he was at a club last night with another girl. And what made your stomach turn, he came home that night and you fucked. It was one of the best orgasms he ever gave you. You wanted to vomit and opted to take a shower instead.

The hot water burned your skin as you scrubbed yourself to get all of him off of you. And in there you had decided that you were done.

With him, her, everyone.

After getting out of the shower, you made quick work of packing up anything that reminded you of him, all the while drowning your taste buds with chardonnay that he had left in the fridge a week ago.

You shoved his toothbrush, his soap, his clothes, his pillows, his blankets, and anything you decided was remotely his, into a box you found deep in the depths of your utility closet. The box got fuller and fuller as you found more of his belongings. After an hour of drinking and packing, you pushed the box out of the apartment onto the stoop, and slammed the door, locking it with the chain and deadbolt.

He probably would not be home for hours, you knew that, and you did not care. Not even if some of his stuff was stolen from the homeless man that often strolled around outside of your building and found a way to get in.

Your head started to ache and you took that as a sign to go to sleep, but you took the time to send your best friend a text.

Before laying in your bed, you dry swallowed a few Tylenol, and poured the rest of your chardonnay in a tall cup. Your phone was promptly put on the charger and the volume down low. After downing the last of your cup of chardonnay, you tucked in for the night. You were out as soon as your head hit the pillow.

-

There was a loud banging on the door, promptly waking you from your deep lumber. The clock read 5:50 and you groaned, the knocking made your headache worse than it already was.

The knocking did not stop, even after ten minutes of sitting in silence.

Upon opening it, you saw Tyler in all of his glory, hands neatly tucked back into his pants pockets.

"What d'you wan'?" You asked, rubbing your knuckles into your eyes as you waited for his response.

"Josh came over a few hours after you texted me with a box full of his stuff," he pushed past you, into your apartment.

"Yes, please enter," you sarcastically quipped. Tyler did not respond, just rolling his eyes before sitting on your blanket covered couch. (You couldn’t take it knowing he picked it out with you, so you covered it in the biggest blanket you had.) You followed suit, taking a seat on the matching and equally covered chair.

"What happened last night?" He finally broke the silence.

"Did you see the pictures?" You rebutted, waiting for the nod of his head before speaking again, "fucking promised, he did, promised I was the only one he loved, the only one he'd ever love, and promised there was no other girl."

"Are you sure it was him, though, the pictures were a bit dodgy," Tyler didn’t seem to understand why you were reacting so strongly, and maybe it was for the best. He didn’t know your past.

"You don't think I'd recognize my own fucking fiancé?" You quipped, "how did he act when he made to your bloody house? Know for a fact he knew what he did, or he'd be here fighting for himself, not his best friend."

Tyler didn't answer that, the hangnail on his thumb suddenly became more interesting than looking you in the eye, "Look, you're my best friend too and I'm not saying what he did was smart, but maybe you should give him a chance."

"Gave him a fucking chance already, when I moved in with him," you answered, spitting venom with every word, "but he broke my trust after he promised me he would never do just this."

Tyler sighed, knowing it was a lost cause to argue with you, being a stubborn person to begin with, while hungover, you never listened to any kind of reason.

-

You went to a bar a few hours after Tyler left, drinking away your sorrows. You took shot after shot, not caring in the slightest what it would do to your image.

It was bad enough that you were the girl Josh Dun cheated on.

Eventually, you were so sloshed that you couldn’t tell which way was up, the room began spinning round and round as you danced with strangers. You had met one amazingly beautiful guy and after minutes of flirting, you pulled him to the dance floor.

"This is my song," you exclaimed, pulling him into you.

And although you had fun, the slight pain in your heart from Josh was still there.

So, you found yourself taking your phone out of your pocket as you exited the high-end club (the bouncer knew you from instagram and let you in, no questions asked) and calling the one person you wanted to talk to.

"Y/n? Why are you calling me at three in the morning?"

"I fuckin-g hate you," you hiccupped, "you fu-fucking piece of shit! All I wanted was a nice life with a fucking house and kids, and you ruined it!"

"Are you drunk?" Josh asked through the phone.

"It's not your business what I am anymore," you slurred, and tripped over your heels, slamming into a nearby wall, "Ouchy, I hurt myself." You giggled at your own use of words, repeating it under drunken laughs.

"Where are you, I'm gonna come get you," Josh asked, although it was more of an order than a question. You gave him the address of the club and giggled to yourself when you heard him bump into something on the other side.

-

You got in the car as soon as josh pulled up, knowing that this was your only shot at getting a ride to your apartment.

"You probably don't want to talk to me, and I understand, but why are you at this club?"

"Makes me feel good, makes me forget, take your pick," you laughed, "take your pick sounds like take your prick."

"Why is that so funny?"

"'cause I'm never gonna take your prick again, never gonna forgive you, either! You're tainted with that slut's juices," you wrinkled your nose, "Don’t ever wan' you to touch me again."

Josh let out a long and deep sigh. You were telling the truth, especially in your drunk state, and he knew that.

"Okay, won't touch you again," he whispered.

You smiled smugly, crossing your arms over your chest as he continued to drive, both of his hands on the wheel, "Good!"

-

A few months later, after you realized you had a serious problem, you began to pack your bags. You couldn’t stay in the apartment unless you were drunk or high, and you finally started to realize that this was what it feels like to become one of the drunks. Unable to even get through a day without downing a shot or drinking an entire beer. Although you didn’t know where you would go, you could not stay in that apartment any longer. You were in the midst of packing when your phone rang.

"Hey," you answered.

"Hi, babe, how are you holding up?" Sarah's voice sounded through, happy and bubbly as it usually was.

"I'm doing ok, just trying to find storage for my furniture and packing the rest," you had told her the day Tyler had come by, texting her as soon as he left. That was the first time you cried about the situation, tears running down your face and dripping on your phone screen as you typed. Eventually, she came over and held you close so you could cry on her shoulder.

"Well, I have a proposition for you," she said, "I talked to Brendon about your situation and he said you can take out spare room if you want."

"I can't do that, it'd feel like I'm exploiting you guys," you answered. You had thought of asking before, they had an amazing house. Three large bedrooms and a bonus room they set up for Brendon to record in. You had spent many a night there with Sarah, after a few girl's nights with wine and beer included.

Sarah sighed at your stubbornness, "It's not exploiting if I offer, y/n."

Then you heard rustling on the other side of the line, and quiet voices talking back and forth. You made out the words 'is that' and 'let me' and you assumed Brendon wanted to talk with you.

"Hey, sweetheart," his deep voice took over the line, and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Brendon stealing the phone from Sarah and running away from her to keep it in his hand.

"Hi, Brendon," you answered.

"Listen, I promise you that it's ok if you stay over here," he insisted, and you heard a grunt in the background of his talking, "I'm sending someone to get your stuff, just be there when he arrives and show him what to pack."

"But Br-"

"No, don't 'but' me, I swear to god," he laughed, "He'll be there in an hour, so you have some stuff to do. Ok, I'll give the phone back, Jesus Christ, Sarah." There was rustling and Sarah's light giggle was heard on the other side.

"We'll see you in a few hours, lovie," she laughed. You both shared goodbyes and you go back to packing for the rest of the day until Zack arrived with a moving van to help you with your stuff, a hug included.

-

According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, you experience five stages of grief. The first being denial, and then anger, followed by bargaining.

You were almost positive that you were past those three stages in the first twenty-four hours. However, the next stage, depression, you weren't so sure.

All you did, the day you got to Sarah and Brendon's house was cry. They were supportive, letting you hug one of them (or both, they weren't picky. They also liked to let you lay in one's lap because they both could brush their fingers through your hair) while you cried into their shirts. Brendon decided at some time that day that he wanted to make sure you were ok in the night and surprised you by crawling into bed next to you, holding you close as you started to sob again.

"It'll be alright, sweetheart, you're going to be alright," he reassured you, stroking your hair lightly as you shook in his arms. Eventually, Sarah came in and slid behind you, stroking your arm to help calm you down. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Brendon asked once you stopped shaking, and your sniffles had subsided. He sat up and put his back against the headboard of the bed and helped you sit up with him, leaning your head on his shoulder.

"I just," you sighed, "I thought he was the one, he was so good to me, made my life so fucking great," you paused, feeling tears coming back, pricking behind your eyes, "he introduced me to everything I love and almost everyone I love, now I can't even look at a fucking drum set the same. He gave me literally everything and then stole it back in a horrible, horrible way. Swiping it right from under me."

"Then we'll just have to replace what he stole," Sarah stated, cupping your cheek and wiping a tear away with her thumb. You nodded against her hand, eyes closing at the gesture.

"Let's get to sleep now," Brendon whispered, slightly touched at the display of affection between you two, "We've got shit to unpack tomorrow and some stuff to replace."

...part 2?

[rcsefire]

TASK 003: FACT OF BEING ( * EVENT 002, THE LAND OF TELLUS !

there’s no difference between the HUNTER and the hunted ; were all searching for the same victim to call home.

and we end up chasing the same bloody demons in circles again

                                                                                                  and again

                                                                                                                        and AGAIN..

GENERAL ;

NAME.  brioni sinclair. AGE.  twenty five. ALLEGIANCE.  house of calx. OCCUPATION.  healer. MARITAL STATUS.  married. * brioni vc * he ded i think  FACECLAIM.  sarah bolger.

THE STORY ;

she was the result of an arranged marriage between a highborn lord & lady ; a welcomed surprise. they had hoped for a SON but was there really a difference? their daughter was all rambunctiousness & trouble, already proving to have a stubborn streak by the time she was four. her father, a physician in calx sought for his extensive skills with healing, doted on his eldest. even by the time his second & third daughter came along throughout the next decade, there was always a closer bond between him and his eldest. brioni idolized him all the same, idolized the way he saved lives, idolized the way he accepted his daughter for her rougher edges, while her mother wanting to teach their eldest everything a lady should know --- how to sit pretty, how to speak multiple languages, how to weave & sew, how to be a wife --- brioni frowned on them all ( for one, she didn’t understand why women got the tighter leash. ) by the time she was twelve she was already accompanying her father across the country to assist him with his patients.  

as the eldest daughter, she had a responsibility to support her line, and most importantly, support her younger sisters & help with their own marriages. this, was something she accepted. MARRIAGE was something she was fine with --- love? now that was the issue. at sixteen the offer came from a lord within calx, which was fine by her, she wanted to be closer to her sisters & an arranged marriage is better than none at all. she didn’t suspect seeing him would magically make her fall in love with her future husband -- in fact, she would prefer if feelings weren’t involved at all. at seventeen she married, and met her husband elric on their wedding day ; the best thing about elric? he didn’t care about her either. the worst thing about elric? he enjoyed the thrill of a good argument. brioni and elric were and weren’t a good match for that reason, they both knew exactly how to bother the other -- but they both were completely honest in their relationship due to their opinions never being placed behind walls or closed doors. brioni grew to be fond of her husband slowly, and she likes to think he was fond of her too ; parents from both sides pushed for them to conceive a child by the end of that year, and they tried with no avail. brioni was blamed, because the woman is easier to blame, and a feud began between the parents of the two families ---- the wife elric received was incapable of carrying a child was the accusation. a broken woman ; a defected purchase. 

it drove a wedge between the marriage, whatever fondness had formed slowly disintegrated. the household was tense, brioni began losing trust in her husband once she suspected his mother wanted him to remarry. she didn’t try to fix the patches, it was a waste of time ---- and a few months following? she’d barely give her husband a glance. brioni’s father passed the year of her twenty first name day, and even elric noticed the shift within his wife. she was no longer witty, no longer entertaining to him like she was before. as a husband, he supported her, attempted to comfort her. but she pushed away every advance. in her mourning, she decided two things. one, she was unhappy in her marriage & if elric wanted to remarry to someone younger, prettier or more fruitful, she wouldn’t put up a fight. and two, she would help others the way her father did. she didn’t expect the former to be more difficult than the latter, elric apparently loved her & wanted to rekindle their marriage despite her protests & constant cold shoulders. and despite her troubles within her home, brioni gained more medical knowledge and eventually became a healer for the public.  

a wife's role ( even one who neglects her duties already. ) includes not leaving her husband’s side. but brioni traveled for weeks, sometimes even over a month at a time. it’s a trip that had taken just under three weeks that she returns from when she finds her husband ill, her mother & sister too. she attempts to cure them as best as she could with the knowledge she had but they grow worse --- eventually progressing into a hunger for blood & malice, just like all the other victims of the diseased. with this, brioni is forced to retreat with her youngest sister aviella with the rest of the calx towards the holy city of castus. 

WANTED PLOTS ;

( * WITH OUR HEALING HANDS. ❜ ---- ( tbh someone who needs a mentor in all this medical stuff ? or idk even someone who has med experience already and wants brioni to lend a hand or s/t. let brioni help u, , ,this is probably the only au where she is NICE. ( OPEN !  

( * CLEANING THE BLOOD OFF YOUR CHEEK. ❜ ---- ( someone who is already getting roughed up ig?? who brioni always seems to be patching up. whether this is because they’re just constantly getting into trouble or even someone belonging to the military?? ( OPEN !  

( * IF WE DON’T BURN TOGETHER, I BURN ALONE. ❜ ---- ( ride or fuckIN’ DIE. good pals, supportive pals, the ‘ if u touch them i’ll cut off ur hands ’ pals. be her friend pls  ( OPEN !  

( * THE WEIGHT OF WAR IS NOT FOR LADIES. ❜ ---- ( ok so, i want a plot where brioni seeks out someone to teach her fighting stuff?? they probably didn’t approve because she is a woman but she convinced them because she would literally not Shut Up about it until they said yes. also probably someone with experience involving swords?? or bows & arrows ?? let her use u as her own personal dart board. ( OPEN !  

( * LIKE A SECRET OR A SIN. ❜ ---- ( mmmm. i love torturing briar with romance so I GOTTA’ do it for brioni. brioni still technically thinks her husband to be alive, but she wasn’t happy w/him anyway SO during the meantime? she’s off bumping uglies behind closed doors. the full nature of this one can be up for discussion, whether it’s just the middle age equivalent to a friends with benefits, a crush or a love/hate thing. it would be pretty secretive due to her, , ya’ know, , technically still being married?? but, , , can u hear that?? sounds like the angst train comin’. ( OPEN !  

( * FAMILY DOESN’T END WITH BLOOD. ❜ ---- ( someone from calx or who had visited calx frequently that has been with brioni since the beginning, brioni considers them family. they would have been there for her during her arranged marriage, the difficulties within her marriage, the feud between families and when she became a healer. this person would know her better than anyone, and brioni would have definitely been there for them too. brioni probably trusts this person more than anyone else, which tbh is a big deal !  ( OPEN !  

& anything else ! these are just suggestions, and i’m totally up for anything. love me. 

PLOTS ;  

christiana knoxington --- brioni wants to bang the priestess, god bless

[ventingrightnow]

Friday was a great day

I walked in to him mentioned my funny puns I made for him. Him bragging about me to others. Indian Boss. I made coffee and he came over and said “I still love all those puns you made me” and I could tell he was impressed. Then every time (or at least a few times) he went to get water he would look over at me, say my nickname, and talk to me. He needed me to do some scheduling (like he can’t look at bald boss’s calendar himself) and I told him to just CC me on the email and he said he felt bad doing that. I later mentioned it again and he goes “no You shouldn’t have to do that” “what, my job?” “Yeah but you’re not supposed to do that for me, I’m not important” (or something like that) and I tell him that I’ve scheduled for nearly everyone in the office, outside of dev.

God that panic attack I had when I heard him talking about the charity event he had to go to and then the house warming party. I can’t describe it. It was like (here I go, describing it, lmao) my heart sank and my chest tightened and then my stomach filled with electricity. Short of breath. Nerves at a high. It’s terrible. I had to go by his desk, pretending to ask about some stupid key card shit asking about his weekend plans. Charity event he went with some friends. No worries there. Then he had that boat bachelorette party which I found more humorous than anything else. Couple people brought it up to me like “did CRUSH tell you what he was doing this weekend?” And i say yeah and I think it’s hilarious and then 50+lbs is nearby and CRUSH says he’s invited and I go “YOU INVITE 50+LBS AND NOT ME??” He talks about keeping the ratio up and I say that by adding me he keeps the ratio high .... or low ... and he laughs and says I’m gullible, that he’s bringing no one and “can you imagine showing up and being like, hey, we’re here and oh this is my friend” friend. No coworker. Friend. He also asked about his friend who matched with me on hinge “you know, my friend who swipes.” “Oh yeah we matched” “did you hook up? No, actually I don’t wanna know” “yeah we chatted, he told me he had a motorcycle” then he says that he hated that thing and that he always tried to get CRUSH to go on a ride to the boat and he thought he was crazy. CRUSH showed me this video of an interior of a courvette, and I ask him why he needs such expensive toys considering the implication that people with those kinds of toys are vain and have small dicks. He said “I like keeping expectations low and then disappointing them anyway” haha he listened to a voicemail from his mom on speaker at the fridge, got to listen to her say she loved and missed him and I mouth “who is that?” “My mom” “awww” chubby jew sales asked me towards the end of the day with CRUSH nearby, “what are three characteristsics you would use to describe someone with a courvette” I quickly go “self-involved” think for a good 20 seconds “heterosexual, small-penis”

So much happened that Friday. We did the 12 gun salute for our final intern, or should I say one nerf assault, got that bitch on camera and at the end you can see him look at me, smiling, after I ‘woo’ once it’s over. Then he was at my desk, caught me labeling my Polaroid book, checked out the photos from the hoopla, mistook the whole album for the hoopla, I quickly corrected saying it was just those 5 pictures, then he still goes through it, first photos he sees are of me and my wife at the Gala and he comments that we looked great, or very nice or whatever he said, of course now I can’t remember. He continues all the way to the second page and then gets distracted and leaves. I bring over the photo of me in the robe in Jamaica to his desk and go “how amazing is this photo” and he goes “this is awesome. You look like a baby” “thank you! ... I don’t know if that was a compliment, but I’ll take it” haha

He was at my desk and one of the drawers was open, saw old cigar boss’s ID photo and picked it up, saddened by it. Says he remembers the day because he was there with Trump Dev. I say that I’ve already given him one hug so I’m out. We ended up leaving together “by accident” (I started packing my shit the second I heard him packing his, and then loudly said, I gotta get out of here) then stood up with my backpack and he was there with his and I go, “quit stalking me geez” and we walk out together. He asks me to put his umbrella in his backpack and then we get in the elevator. He says he’s walking home and I ask about his new place, slipping in the question about a housewarming party and he says he’s gonna have it when his place isn’t a shithole so I go “oh so never?” “Yup” haha

He came by my desk once, sneaking up behind me but I saw him from the corner of my eye. So he asked me something and he goes “ah, was trying to scare you” then he later came by, maybe a few hours later and did in fact scare me cause I genuinely did not see him coming by and I go “there, you scared me”

We also were all bullying him about a subway salad, and at the end he goes “yeah everyone keep making fun of me and my food” and I go, “you’re fat and you go to subway” flippantly and he genuinely laughs. I ask him if the salad is made with the same lettuce they use on the sandwiches and he says yes and I catch a laugh/snort and he laughs.

The final intern left that day and he wrote us goodbye notes, the sales team got one to share, I got my own, and CRUSH asks where it is (after I tell him about it) and I get up to go to NewBaby Sales’ desk and get it for him and look over his shoulder as he reads it and his scent is fuckin STRONG AND AMAZING and I literally stand there at his shoulder reading the card and breathing so deeply and silently that I could’ve OD’d from the aroma holy shit I can still smell it now, fucking amazing. Ugh. Smelt like ... sweet cologne. Not floral, no harsh. Just ... yes.

He was talking about that day he went solo on the boat with TrumpBlonde, after I had brought up wondering if his dad and sister were going to this bachelorette party since he went solo with TrumpBlonde, and he said something that was like “yeah, best day of my life” and I heavily rolled my eyes and I could tell he noticed it annoyed me that he was talking about her and he ups the anty by saying that he’s pregnant with her baby and I laugh.

Later on I hear him talking to chubby sales and chubby jew sales, chubby Jew sales routines bullies him but in a less funny way, like, it seems like he wants to be him but also is so happy not to? Anyways, he was picking on him for hooking up with a lot of women and said that CRUSH probably has an STD and then it cut in and out but I hear them talk about the nuvaring and chubby Jew sales doesn’t know what it is and I loudly go “it’s female birth control” WHAT? It’s lady birth control. “No it’s not” “wait, what’d you say?” “What’d you think we said?” Chubby Jew sales leaves to go smoke a cigarette and was also feeling uncomfortable and I go back to work and they talk for a few minutes before them both asking what I thought they said, and I ask them back, what did they say, we go back and forth for like a full ass minute and then I look at chubby sales and mouth “what did he say?” And he goes “NR?” I’m like oh yeah the nuvaring, and they go yeah, and I’m like, it’s female birth control, I’m not wrong. They seem extremely confused and I go, do I need to give you a lesson on what a Nuva ring is, they say yes, and I bring a chair over and say “from personal experience...” and explain the various aspects. CRUSH goes “yeah it’s a ring you put in and leave there forever” I explain the timeline (3 weeks in 1 week out, you get your period, then you put it back in) and the fridge aspect blew their minds. “Well why does it have to be kept in the fridge?” “Well the whole thing is that it slowly releases birth control when in you, and you’re a warm place —“ “ohhhh” hahah it was fun and funny, I didn’t mind explaining it not felt uncomfortable telling two of my coworkers I’m on birth control lmao chubby sales says that you can’t feel it when doing it and I say that I’ve had no complaints, “it’s like ... rubbed for her pleasure” LMAO then they spent a good twenty minutes doing “the move” from dirty dancing, singing the song “I’ve had the time of my life” and CRUSH keeps flinging his chest at chubby sales and chubby Jew sales until he eventually decks chubby sales in the face. Whoops lmao “I feel like I’ve blown your mind this week.” “You have!” “Nuvarings and that stand up set? My gosh ...” (also idk if I’ve posted this yet but remember when he asked dental floss for that photo of us on the jet ski? I gotta remember to get that. I feel like I saw it and it wasn’t that great lmao)

I posted earlier some “50 signs he’s into you” or whatever work-related romance BS and I think one of them (I think, like I can’t just fuckin look it UP) is that he makes up reasons to talk to you and he’s 100% doing that cause not only can he 100% schedule on his own, and most likely has been for a YEAR, but he’s been CCing me on random ass emails? Like he doesn’t know that all billing goes to literally anyone but me? Or his little donut project? I’m telling you, he likes me. There are some days where I feel bad about myself or how I look but when I come to work, I see him, I make him laugh, it makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and I smile and all that insecurity fades away and I feel like ... I feel like a ... I feel beautiful. He makes me feel beautiful. I know this is a pipe dream, that we can’t be together and that he’s in this fuckboi phase of getting over his ex and being a hot 29 year old, but ... I like the way he makes me feel. I crave going to work. The weekends are fucking agony now. I can’t date anyone because I’m obsessed with him. And I’m not ... sometimes I hate it because it’s kinda hopeless and I can see people just sigh at me and look at me like I’m some idiot and I’m fully aware of what I’m doing. I’m fully aware. But ... for now ... and for the past year really ... we’ve been flirty friends. And that’ll remain the same. It’s not healthy. But, it’s happening and until I come to an impasse, I’ll continue looking like a hot bitch and an internal hot mess.

[change-the-rules]

Maggie thought she had gotten used to the weirdness that came with dating Alex and Lucy, with the Lanes and Supers and secret agencies. But that was before Cat Grant (THE Cat Grant) waltzed into her apartment and proceeded to give her a shovel talk.

So this may NOT have been a prompt but oops I kinda treated it like one? idk I saw it over on nerdsbianhokie’s page the other day and since it got submitted to my inbox as well I took a crack at it….

The sudden knocking coming from the front door startled Maggie from her deep concentration carefully pruning her newest bonsai tree. She cursed softly placing down the small shears and swapping them for her gun as she approached the sound.

She wasn’t expecting anyone.

Lucy was attending a meeting in Washington and Alex was running a late night op. Even Kara was busy, with a date Maggie was fairly certain but little Danvers was being rather cagey about it.

Maggie moved silently to the door to check the peephole, nearly dropping her gun when she registered who was on the other side.

Maggie blinked once, twice, three times but the image didn’t shift or change.

She was startled even further when a voice she had only ever heard on television and maybe starring in a few of her dreams as a teenager rang out, “I would leave the stealth missions to your black ops girlfriends, Margery. Now were you planning on leaving me out on your doorstep all night?”

Maggie blinked again. Maybe she actually fell asleep on the couch? That had to be the explanation.

“That was a rhetorical question, I strongly advise against that course of action.”

It hit Maggie all at once that this probably wasn’t some sort of elaborate hallucination and she scrambled to click the safety back on her gun and open the door.

She did remain prepared for a fight should her guest, in fact turn out to be a shapeshifting attacker.

The door was barely open before Cat Grant swept into the apartment like she owned the place(and couldn’t figure out why on Earth she had bought it but still).

Maggie was tempted to pull out her phone and snap a picture because THE Cat Grant, Queen of Media was standing regally in her apartment just staring…at….her…

Which okay that was incredibly unnerving and Maggie had stared stoically into the eyes of many of Gotham’s most criminally deranged.

With what she hopes is subtle clearing of her throat Maggie finds her voice and her manners, “Can I,uh get you something to drink, Ma’-” Maggie wasn’t a detective for nothing and caught the subtle eyebrow raise just in time to smoothly prevent ‘ma’am from escaping her lips,  “Ms. Grant?”

Maggie watches with narrowed eyes as Cat’s gaze sweeps appraisingly over her apartment. “I don’t suppose you keep keep much top shelf liquor around?”

Years of microaggressions piled on top of the macro keep Maggie from outwardly bristling and she decides to meet this woman’s challenge instead of kicking her the fuck out of her apartment before even finding out why she’s here.

“Scotch good? Ms.Grant.”

Cat looks up with her signature smirk, only mmhmming while Maggie ducks into the kitchen.

She surveys her rather extensive liquor options, especially now that she and Lucy had merged their scotch collection, while she ponders how she wants to play this.

Early on she and Lucy had bonded over their love of scotch that had stemmed from each of their formative experiences with 'the old boys club’ in the military and GCPD respectively.

Maggie maintained scotch didn’t have to be expensive to be good and she had a decent collection of rare inexpensive bottles.

And maybe she was known to splurge occasionally on a damn fine scotch but with Lucy’s travels and connections her girlfriend had bottles Maggie could only ever have dreamed of.

Maggie liked to compare her hard found 'bargains’ with Lucy ridiculously priced stuff.

They of course make a big deal of slow sipping to savor the taste and they can only ever do it when Alex is not around.

Because Alex’s preferences mostly start and end with high alcohol content and she is just as likely to knock back a glass twenty-five year old scotch in one go as she is to savor it, a connoisseur she is not.

Maggie knows from Kara’s stories Cat Grant very much is.

There are a few very expensive bottles Maggie figures Lucy wouldn’t mind if she cracked open for Cat freakin’ Grant, though Maggie supposes it would just be Cat Grant to Lucy.

Maggie’s hand hovers just over one of the most expensive bottles of scotch she’s ever seen let alone had in her apartment.

Then she pulls back and eyes one of her prized bottles, it was from a small former speakeasy in nowhere Nebraska.

After prohibition, they opened up a small restaurant and distillery where the usage of some family secret for making scotch taste twice as old as it truly was significantly lowered their pricing.

Satisfied with her choice Maggie pulls out the bottle pouring a generous helping into two tumblers.

She hands one off to Cat who smirks and apparently can’t help commenting, “Straight what an interesting choice.”

Maggie finds herself at an uncharacteristic loss as to what this woman’s motives could possibly be.

She watches as Cat takes a sip and is stunned by the blinding smile she’s flashed. “They did well with you detective, I know Lucy keeps several ridiculously expensive bottles around and yet you chose a cheaper though significantly better fare, cheers.”

Maggie doesn’t quite manage to keep the bite out of her voice, “So that was what a test?”

“Something like that, Agent Mulder.”

“I’m a detective.” It isn’t that she missed the pop culture reference it was just that it was inaccurate and she’s tired of playing games.

Cat rolls her eyes, “And I’m the founder of CatCo Worldwide Media.” She says in the same blatant tone. 

“Oh, are we not stating the obvious? You’re also dating Scully, do try and keep up. I would’ve gone with Reyes but it seemed in poor taste to risk starting off this conversation with a racist misunderstanding. ”

“And that conversation would be?”

“I suppose I am just here to ensure you keep from doing anything to warrant my wrath, detective. Be good to Agent Scully and Baby Lane and we will be just fine.”

“So this is a shovel talk? didn’t realize either of them rated that highly on the Queen of all Media’s radar.”

Maggie had thought she’d gotten used to all of the bizarre happenings that went hand in hand with dating a pair of super secret agents with superhero relatives and alien bosses and vigilante exes.

That did not, however account for a late night appearance by Cat Grant, THE Cat Grant in her own damn living room to give her a fuckin’ shovel talk.

Cat’s eyes flash and Maggie realizes her mistake too late.

“There is one person on this giant hunk of rock that I give more than a singular fuck about besides my boys, that person is Kara Danvers.” And Maggie even with her typically unshakeable countenance takes a tiny step back at the vehemence. 

“And while her completely undiscerning capacity for gooey emotions far surpasses my own she would rewrite the very laws of nature for Scully, ergo I had to find a fuck to spare for her as well. Furthermore, believe it or not once upon a time Lois Lane, arch enemies now we may be was once on that, at the time even shorter list, meaning Baby Lane made the cut too and since she didn’t break my heart,”

Maggie’s eyes widened at the statement, “She got readmitted when she found her way back into my life. Any other comments you’d care to make, Margery?”

Maggie bit her tongue at Cat’s irritating name game power play, “I stand corrected and for what it’s worth I would never intentionally do anything to hurt either one of them. ”

“Yes, well, see that you don’t.”

“That can’t be it, C'mon what’re your threats then, lay 'em on me. Gunna get your protege, Supergirl to toss me into space?” Maggie questioned with a smirk knowing no matter what Alex and J’onn insisted there was no way Cat didn’t know who Supergirl really was.

“Violence? How plebian.”

“Doxx me?”

“Very reddit bottom dweller, I’m almost insulted.”

“Smear campaign?”

“Honestly, just how uncreative do you think I am. I’ve moved on to mildly insulted. Oh no, if you hurt Alex or Lucy I will go to your Captain and with all of the strings I hold in my perfectly manicured hands, I will get you assigned to be my mother’s personal security detail every time she wants to go see Wicked again or get her broom serviced.”

Maggie’s mouth opened and closed but no sound emerged. 

She was tempted to say that Cat couldn’t do that but thankfully some functioning part of her brain that had no desire to see Wicked 47 times (in two months?! thanks Kara’s endless chatter about everything) prevented her from doing so.

She had a feeling Cat would make it happen just to prove a point. Speaking of Cat, she looked rather smug with her handiwork.

“Now if you’ll excuse me I have a date I must be getting back to. Oh and Mulder, Kara seems to have quite the soft spot for you too, I suppose that’s one more fuck I’ll need to dig up.” 

And just as quickly as she swept in Cat Grant was gone leaving a dumbfounded Maggie in her wake.

It was a good fifteen minutes later of fruitlessly trying to return her attention to her bonsai tree that Maggie’s head jerked up, wait….. a date?!