#idfk who they are but they know me that im not in college anymore bc i was depressed as fuuuck and couldnt make myself go to class an failed

[yourmoonmomma]

hey can I ask your advice on this common issue? what do you think is the best option cause girl I have struggled with friends since forever. Every other person is either so self absorbed that they need jesus or idfk are people getting worse at communication and listening?

do you think its better to a) have limited amount of "friends" even fi you dont meet them regularly enough

b) those friends that only ever message once in a blue moon orrrr if they do ever meet up with you everything is abt them

c) or non at all bc everyone puts up a facade and you dont know which one is the real them

I feel like I have run into all sorts of people yet nothings stuck besides similar patterns in the type of people I seem to be running into. Even family and parents are sometimes a bit of a letdown as well or I barely get to see other relatives anymore. idk but the way society is currently doesnt give me good feelings and it seems that if we dont have or get into something early on we dont get to maintain close connections whereas others might just have been at the right time or place to meet their life long buddies. I tried clubs, online activities with another friend but it just didnt stick to me like that one thing would be all we had in common or they kinda didnt care to explore other activities that we couldve done well at together.

I just think and am concerned with how selfish people are becoming and how people dont even want to be accountable for nothing they ever did wrong either? Like you ask person can you not interrupt me but they will keep doing it over and over cause it seem nothing I say sticks to anyones mind. Then I get told off if im ever too loud or too quiet so I cant win with anyone. Even tho other adults are also loud and even more obnoxious than whatever im trying to do I jusr cant seem to receive the same attention long enough to feel valued

I mean say you had same age friend in college who kept turning down ur offers to socialise outside of their area / home? its rude asf imho, I even tell her that sure we can gift each other bday presents orrr we might hang out during class and such but anything else she didnt care to spend other time in my area or seeing something new or doing something new... every time I ask someone been rejecting me or almost ignore my existence even if they claim to be my "friend" I dont even tell no one nothing abt myself bc u dont know how the other person going to react and some people are chronic talkers or overshare too much and I think those types of people are more annoying to deal with bc u got to basicslly be their audience and they too also dont care that much to ask u nothing to show u no interest in ur intersts. it dont seem to matter what age or generation they be either. but damn people are getting harder to connect with bc u dont know what personality they going to have when trying to engage with them.

some people also outright contradict themselves or gaslight others in the same paragraphs or sentences too which make it harder to point out they doing it cause nobody ever wanna admit they at fault for something or other. so I cant win with that bc people seem to be so mentally asleep about themselves. I have experienced literal adult men throwing tantrums for over decade and got not a single response whenever I be trying to share my interest with them they just dont care or relatives idfk. I mean I can vent to someone and they show almost no emotion nor concern for my vent or problem. mostly bc they wont believe me or dismiss anything i ever say if they dont believe it as well.

same for those who dont ask how you doing? is the world just becoming so blindsided and cliquey, if we dont have the same level of interest that others have in themselves then they aint going to care but its been such a common pattern in my life and ik something was off when I was doing this fun run and was supposed to run with my "friends" but they ended up running slower basically to avoid me even tho i dont say nothing wrong to them then or at any point. idk why social rejection is worse feeling than completely being ignored cause at least I now want only peace in my life instead of buncha fake ass people who dont care in the long run but then life is less fun at the same time.

when ur a kid u think u can get so much praise and attention but when u an adult u quickly realise who really dont care in the long run or they can sometimes say they care but when u really upset with them they dont care to correct their behaviour. I think I been dealing with narcs my whole life bruh. sorfy for rambling thanks for reading

I think the first option is better. HOWEVER I am also a bad friend. Like I'll state it right off the bat to people. A mutual friend, Joy, recently messaged me saying she'd love to be closer with me, and I told her that I'd also love that, BUT I am not a good friend. I forget to text back, I almost NEVER text first, I'm flaky with plans, etc etc. If you need someone, I am there, but just as a general everyday friend? I'm not that great! So BECAUSE of that, your first option sounds better for me. But it may not be what feels best for you! However, I don't think isolating from numerous negative experiences is a good idea. I know it's hard to keep trying, but it will eventually be worth it.

You have to find the people who are more like-minded to you, and they ARE out there. Frankly I think you & my friend Jonah would get along REALLY well, you two seem to have similar personalities, or at least talk about very very similar things/experiences! You will find your people <3

Social rejection hurts more because you opened yourself. You're saying "maybe this will work this time." Your inner child is eagerly looking for connection and love and wants so badly for this to be the time you aren't rejected. So it feels like a slap in the face. You're right, if you don't put yourself out there, it doesn't hurt as bad!!! But you will also end up missing out on a lot.

And just know, you are NOT in the wrong for being hurt by those situations. I would be hurt too. I've been upset with a few friends lately who are always "so excited" to see me, but then if I spend a couple days NOT travelling to them, they will straight up ignore me or refuse to come over because it isn't worth their time. That shit hurts. So this college friend? I'd be upset too in your position. Likewise the running situation? I've been the third friend trailing behind another two while they talk. I've straight up stopped and watched them not realize, at all, that I wasn't with them anymore. Again, that hurts. GOOD friends? Don't do that. Or, if they do, they're willing to apologize and correct the behaviour. At least, friends who are good for you!

Also I'm probably gonna prove your point right that most people suck LOL but I'm sorry I have such a hard time answering your asks sometimes!! Big blocks of texts are hard for me to respond to unmedicated, or when I'm under the weather, or just... feeling my ADHD symptoms at all. Sounds like an excuse, but I am sorry, and I do always read your full messages, even if I don't respond <33

[cactusdodes]

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[loutatouille]

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

tagged by: @softggogh (thank u u angel)

LAST… [1] drink: some russian virgin soda mojito thing.... it’s mojito soda basically [2] phone call: mah madre [3] text message: “I’m gonna cook an egg on the sidewalk tomorrow” [4] song you listened to: “happy” by Marina and the Diamonds [5] time you cried: i mean technically this morning from stubbing my toe but the *actual* time is prolly yesterday

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: hell no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: noooo [10] been depressed: honestly? idfk [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: haha yeah too many times

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] red [13] gold [14] purple (you may call me your highness)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: def yeah [18] found out someone was talking about you: noooo but now i am Le Paranoid(TM) [19] met someone who changed you: yea and its been pretty fun so far [20] found out who your true friends are: what does this even mean but yes i think? [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no, i literally only use fb for the messenger thing and havent updated in months

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: one (1) [23] do you have any pets: yes! a cat, two betta fish, and six mice that i’m caring for over the summer  [24] do you want to change your name: nah [25] what did you do for your last birthday: went to sunsplash for the first time in my life. twas great! [26] what time did you wake up: time isnt real (..12 pm) [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching nature documentaries [28] name something you cannot wait for: to get my own apartment tbh. i want my freedom damnit  [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: literally just now [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not much. maybe more adventure?  [31] what are you listening to right now: astrology livestream! [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: nah [33] something that is getting on your nerves: idk? flighty people, talking during movies, people hurting animals [35] elementary: the happiest years of my life. (let me go back dammit) [36] high school: no. [37] college: (dont remind me of my upcoming torture) [38] hair colour: dark brown. i have some light streaks from when i bleached my entire head, dyed it, and some of it washed off [39] long or short hair: kinda long but its summer in california rn so im looking forward to chopping it all off (long hair= insulation= back/neck sweat :P) [40] do you have a crush on someone: lmaaaoo nooooo [41] what do you like about yourself?: im flawless, next question [42] piercings: one on each ear, waiting for mine to heal so i can get them redone (they were crooked) [43] blood type: ??????????? tomato soup  [44] nickname: louie bc louisa sounds so... full and weird and “adult” [45] relationship status: single hmu to change that  [46] zodiac sign: leo :) [47] pronouns: she/her but i really do not care [48] fav tv show: ATLA, B99, there’s more but I cant remember them [49] tattoos: id get one as soon as i can but im all fleshy and unscarred rn 
[50] right or left handed: left

FIRST… [51] surgery: actually, none [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: first bestfriend was actually 2 girls from elementary. we really fuckin loved horses  [54] sport: soccer. loved it. [55] vacation: to florida. it used to be a yearly thing to go there but now we’re lazy [56] pair of trainers: flip flops fuk u

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: nothing [59] i’m about to: go shoppin [60] listening to: astrology livestream [61] waiting for: the day to end. its hot in cali :( [62] want: idefk  [63] get married: its not really something i crave but i wouldnt mind it?? [64] career: animator

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs, unless you know how to french well [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: a little older… [69] romantic or spontaneous: why not both?  [70] nice arms or nice stomach: hmmm i dont really care either way [71] sensitive or loud: once again, dont care [72] hook up or relationship: give me a nice long-term relationship plz [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemakers: hot, hesitant: cute, i love em both

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? well they aint a stranger anymore [75] drank hard liquor? ya [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? my glasses are in the void honestly  [77] turned someone down: :( yeah  [78] sex on first date? its hot on paper but no thanks [79] broken someone’s heart? nah. or at least no one ever told me [80] had your own heart broken? too many times to count but im hopeful things get better my man [81] been arrested? nah [82] cried when someone died? in movies yes. not in real life [83] fallen for a friend: ehhhh yeah but i also fallen out of it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? AYE [85] miracles? nah [86] love at first sight? noooo [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? perghaps [89] angels? nah

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: its a fucking fite b/w two people [91] eye colour: deep dark brown [92] favorite movie: alien

tagging @smolbeanlovemachine!!!!

[disappointingpastasalad]

@alexanderthenotsogreat tagged me in this ayyyyyyyyyy thanks babe LAST…
[1] drink: Fanta Orange
[2] phone call: i called my mom to ask her where she kept the puppy needles at the clinic for my T shot
[3] text message: me and my friend being Petty
[4] song you listened to: Movin' Out (Panic! at the Disco cover from last nights concert whaddup)
[5] time you cried: LAST NIGHT AT THE PANIC! CONCERT DURING GIRLS/GIRLS/BOYS BOY HOWDY HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: honey i've never even been on a DATE 
[7] been cheated on: HONEY I HAVENT HELD HANDS W ANYONE ROMANTICALLY HOW COULD I BE CHEATED ON 
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: NEVER KISSES ANYONE RIP
[9] lost someone special: yea
[10] been depressed: boy howdy
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nah, i've only ever been buzzed tbh LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:
[12] gray
[13] maroon
[14] black IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
[15] made new friends: ye
[16] fallen out of love: nah
[17] laughed until you cried: lmao yEAH
[18] found out someone was talking about you: lol yeah bc they're fckn COWARDS 
[19] met someone who changed you: i mean we all change each other constantly bUT yeah i met this one guy who changed my life 
[20] found out who your true friends are: MMMMMHMM
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: AGAIN. NO. THANK U FOR REMINDING ME GENERAL…
[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: ~5 i think ?
[23] do you have any pets: lol i live on a farm my boys 
[24] do you want to change your name: YEAH MY DUDES im changing it to Alexander Quinn 
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: i sat in my basement and played Dragon Age with my friends 🙃
[26] what time did you wake up: 7:30ish
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: falling asleep lol 
[28] name something you cannot wait for: starting college in the fall !!!
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: a few hours ago 
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: would my gender count? i sorta wanna b a cis boy tbh
[31] what are you listening to right now: my friends trying to play hide and seek in the dark in my friends basement rip
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yepp
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my inability to go into a boys restroom alone bc im scared Where’s [34]?
[35] elementary: ive been going to the same school since kindergarten rip 
[36] high school: graduating in the top 10 of my class
[37] college: going to Columbia College Chicago in the fall!!!!! super excited god bless
[38] hair colour: brown with mint tips ayy
[39] long or short hair: shortshortshort
[40] do you have a crush on someone: not really but i fall into small infatuations w cute ppl who smile at me tbh
[41] what do you like about yourself?: idk my voice finally dropped/is dropping 
[42] piercings: ears but imma get a lip ring soooooon
[43] blood type: R O Y A L
[44] nickname: Xanny Phantom, Sheep Boi, XanderGander, etc. 
[45] relationship status: single but not the fun kind :(((
[46] zodiac sign: im an Aquarius binch
[47] pronouns: he/him 
[48] fav tv show: idfk 
[49] tattoos: until i have money saved up, but i have my first one all planned out B]
[50] right or left handed: right, but i used to be ambidextrous rip FIRST…
[51] surgery: N/A
[52] piercing: ears
[53] best friend: a girl named Heidi who i dont really chill w anymore bc shes sporty and im not 
[54] sport: Tee Ball 
[55] vacation: Disney World when i was 8--also my only vacation ever 
[56] pair of trainers: light up sketchers whaddup binches RIGHT NOW…
[57] eating: nada
[58] drinking: mtn. dew like a good gamer boy
[59] i’m about to: scroll thru my gay ass tumblr dash for those Gay Feelings
[60] listening to: See [31]
[61] waiting for: the Sweet Release of sleep
[62] want: a cute boy to smooch and get jiggy with
[63] get married: nahhhh unless they the real deal, u kno?
[64] career: HOPEFULLY an illustrator for graphic novels and/or author of said novels WHICH IS BETTER…
[65] hugs or kisses: i am unable and unqualified to answer this 
[66] lips or eyes: mmmmmmmmmmmmm depends 
[67] shorter or taller: mmmmmmmm taller? depends tbh
[68] older or younger: older 
[69] [nice] romantic or spontaneous: either or both depending 
[70] nice arms or nice stomach: armsss
[71] sensitive or loud: loud 
[72] hook up or relationship: both or just hook up :]
[73] troublemaker or hesitant: both?? HAVE YOU EVER…
[74] kissed a stranger? I WISH
[75] drank hard liquor? yah
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? YAH
[77] turned someone down: BINCH NEVER TALKED TO ME BEFORE EXCEPT FOR WHEN I PUT HER DOG DOWN SO UH, YEAH. DIDNT END WELL. 
[78] sex on first date? nah but ,';]
[79] broken someone’s heart? idk hopefully not 
[80] had your own heart broken? nah
[81] been arrested? nop but my dad used to be a DNR officer and hes terrifying
[82] cried when someone died? yeap
[83] fallen for a friend: nah DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
[84] yourself? to a point 
[85] miracles? to a point 
[86] love at first sight? nah. only attraction. 
[87] santa claus? negative 
[88] kiss on the first date? pls
[89] angels? to a point OTHER…
[90] current best friend’s name: Binch (@solarscam)
[91] eye colour: brown :[
[92] favourite movie: uhhhhhh half the gay movies on Netflix rn. ((currently obsessed with Closet Monster tbh))

[peeessimistiiic]

1-101 ;)

Unusual AsksSpotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? -spotify if i run outta data, but soundcloud ftwis your room messy or clean?-clean bc my mom hates messeswhat color are your eyes?-browndo you like your name? why?-you can ask anyone & they'll say i hate it bc idk i just dowhat is your relationship status? -single bc 🤷🏽‍♀️describe your personality in 3 words or less-outgoing, awkward. shywhat color hair do you have?-dark brown but this shit looks blackwhat kind of car do you drive? -2015 camaro & gmccolor?-white camaro & blue gmcwhere do you shop?-i shop???? jk hmm, vans, hollister, dicks, ross, marshals, not tooooo sure bc i don't shop muchhow would you describe your style?-its literally sweatshirts 24/7 & tryna look as gay as possiblewhat size bed do you have? -i think its called twin size idk its smolany siblings?-i had an older brother, but now i just got a lil bro, who is 11if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?-tbh i pretty do like it here in the city. so many places to adventure, but the weathers shit. so just somewhere w just as good scenery but less bipolar weatherfavorite snapchat filter? -dog one duhfavorite makeup brand(s)-i dont know shit bout makeuphow many times a week do you shower?-i shower everyday but wash my hair every other dayfavorite tv show?-glee??? idk i don't watch many tv shows shoe size?-5-5.5how tall are you?-5'sandals or sneakers? -sneakerssssdo you go to the gym? -nope, im too brokedescribe your dream date-idk tbh i'd be down for everything. i don't need to be woo'ed because i'd already be woo'ed. you could bring me to your house & cuddle & just listen to music & i'd be happy. you could bring me to the beach & chill & walk in the water w me & be happy. anything would do tbhhow much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?-$13 omfg thats so muchwhat color socks are you wearing? -blackhow many pillows do you sleep with?-onedo you have a job? what do you do? -nopehow many friends do you have? -a lot??whats the worst thing you have ever done? -tbh i've done a lot of bad stuff, i'm not sure what's the worse thing i've donewhats your favorite candle scent? -lavender!!!!!3 favorite boy names-luke, jamie, sebastian3 favorite girl names-fuck idk omfgfavorite actor? -uhhhhhfavorite actress? -i dunnooowho is your celebrity crush?-naya rivera / santana lopez 😍😍-malese jow OMFG BOYYYfavorite movie? -perks of being a wallflowerdo you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -not rlly much anymore, perks of being a wallflower is ultimate fave & milk & honeymoney or brains? -brainsdo you have a nickname? what is it? -jelly, jellybean, bean 😌how many times have you been to the hospital?-uhhh 3 times?top 10 favorite songs-down 4 you / blackbear-valerie / amy winehouse-tropicana / topaz jones-ehu girl / kolohe kai-body / dreezy-sunday best / z. woods-sunday candy / donnie trumpet -all we got / chance the rapper-i shoulda left you / chance the rapper -back to black / amy winehousedo you take any medications daily? -iron pillswhat is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)-uhhh idk?what is your biggest fear? -not being lovedhow many kids do you want? -2-3whats your go to hair style?-uh i forget to brush it half the timewhat type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) -pretty smolwho is your role model? -i dunnowhat was the last compliment you received?-FUCK IDFK I NEVER GET COMPLIMENTEDwhat was the last text you sent?"CMON B😩😩"how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?-idfkwhat is your dream car? -i don't rlly have one? as long as it has a skyroofopinion on smoking?-i don't do itdo you go to college? -no i'm a junior in high schoolwhat is your dream job? -as long as i work with kidswould you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? -suburbsdo you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? -fuck yeah i'm cheapdo you have freckles? nahhdo you smile for pictures?-most of the timehow many pictures do you have on your phone? -none, they're all on google photos bc i never have storagehave you ever peed in the woods? -HAHAHA YEAHdo you still watch cartoons? -FUCK YEAHdo you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?-never tried wendy's nuggetsFavorite dipping sauce? -honey mustardwhat do you wear to bed? -either a shirt & no pants or pants & no shirthave you ever won a spelling bee?-hell nahwhat are your hobbies?-tumblr, photography, secret poemscan you draw? -n odo you play an instrument?-yea, what was the last concert you saw? -uh whatever that thing is called at great america w 94.9tea or coffee?-milk teaStarbucks or Dunkin Donuts?-starbucksdo you want to get married?-yeah in the futurewhat is your crush’s first and last initial?-WELLare you going to change your last name when you get married? -we'll seewhat color looks best on you? -blackdo you miss anyone right now? -hell yeahdo you sleep with your door open or closed?-closeddo you believe in ghosts?-meh i dont rlly knowwhat is your biggest pet peeve? -when ppl lie & i already know the truth, when ppl play w others/me, last person you called-kylafavorite ice cream flavor? -chocolate & strawberryregular oreos or golden oreos? -regchocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -i don't like emwhat shirt are you wearing? -none but i got a sweatshirt onwhat is your phone background?-someoneare you outgoing or shy?-both at the same timedo you like it when people play with your hair?-WEAKNESSdo you like your neighbors? -meh some of emdo you wash your face? at night? in the morning?-both lmaoohave you ever been high? -nohave you ever been drunk? -nah just tipsylast thing you ate? -pizzafavorite lyrics right now-"left hand is steering, the other is gripping your thigh" summer or winter? -SUMMERday or night? -tbh i love bohdark, milk, or white chocolate? -milkfavorite month? -i dunnowhat is your zodiac sign-aquariuswho was the last person you cried in front of? -chloe my homebitch