#idek wtf is angst lmao

[tbnrpotato]

Our Own Choices

Chapter 9

"So how'd you know I was on that gunship? I was specifically extra stealthy that time," I ask Rex as we jump off the vehicle that Crosshair was driving as we arrive back at the base. I put on my helmet. 

"You've done it 19 times, kid. I know when you've clipped yourself to the outside of the gunship just by the sound of it," Rex replies, not bothering to look at me. He's not even bothering to scold me for coming here without his permission. I think he's just tired of me, he does have a job to do as a captain as well.

But why should I listen to him anymore? Even though he's technically my superior in the GAR, I don't need him anymore. I'm biologically 20, I can handle myself. But clearly he doesn't think so, considering how he usually doesn't let me on missions anyways. He says the reason that he grounded me was because he didn't want me getting myself killed out in the battlefield because of my impulsiveness.

"But there was no sound-" I protest as the bad batch walk past me, and I stare at them as they walk to their ship.

They're really cool. They don't fit in here, just like me.

Rex nudges me in the side, I take it as a sign to go to the ship as well. Rex says he talked to General Skywalker and he says that he'll have to wait for the council to approve of the mission to Skako Minor to get Echo. I'm surprised that he lets me come along on this mission. I guess he knows that there's no stopping me when it comes to saving my brothers.

As I head into the ship, I receive looks from the batch. 

"What?" I ask.

Tech looks back to his datapad, Wrecker goes to lift the gonk droid in the back of the ship, Hunter just sits there staring at me, and Crosshair is checking his rifle. I take off my helmet and lean against a wall, staring at Wrecker and the poor gonk droid, and then to toothpick boi.

Gotta admit, their armor is really cool. Crosshair's got that belt thingy with a bunch of places to store ammo, almost like my own. And then he's got that bar thingy on his left shoulder armor, probably for his rifle or something. Hunter has a random bandana for the dog shit on his head, with a small skull on it. Wrecker's helmet would scare the absolute shit outta me if I saw that first thing in the morning. Tech's helmet is cool, at least it hides his receding hairline. Whatever.  At least now I'm not the only one with dark-colored armor. 

Anyways, Rex and General Skywalker board the ship soon enough and we set off for Skako Minor. Tech's flying the ship, while General Skywalker checks out Crosshair's rifle and Wrecker's still lifting poor Gonky.

"So, how many missions has your team been on, Sergeant?" General Skywalker asks Shithair as he passes Crosshair's rifle back to him.

"Honestly sir, I've lost count. All the action sorta blurs together," Hunter replies, and that felt like a big "skill issue lmao" smack in the face.

"I know you work with Cody sometimes, but who do you guys report to?" Rex asks.

"Hm, good question," Hunter says, crossing his arms. "Can't say I've got an answer." 

And then I'm reminded of that "good question" Shrek meme that I saw on the holonet a few days before I came to Anaxes, and I try to keep a straight face.

Wrecker, who's still lifting Gonky, chews on a big ass chicken drumstick which I think was kept in the ship's storage area for days. Then, the ship suddenly shakes.

"We are approaching Skako Minor," Tech reports. "It looks to be a difficult landing."

So we strap in and Wrecker gently sets Gonky down, before going to the co-pilot's seat with Tech. The ship shakes a bit until we land on the ground, and we stand up and head towards Tech and Wrecker.

"Rex, what do we know about this place?" General Skywalker asks, Rex standing next to him. Toothpick boi and I stand behind them as I play with my knife, because I'm just kinda bored and need something to do with my hands.

"On this part of Skako, there's a race of locals, the Poletecs. All we know is they're very primitive," Rex replies.

"Primitive is being kind," Tech says. "My intel says the Poletecs worship flying reptiles."

Suddenly, one of those flying reptile thingies land on the front window of the ship, cracking it slightly. I look out, sheathing my knife into my wrist compartment.

"Oh! What the heck was that?" Wrecker looks out the same time as I do. "It's one of those reptiles," Tech says.

"I want that thing off my ship," Hunter says, sounding really annoyed, before moving to get off the ship.

"Hold on! Hold on! Don't just run out there," Rex tries to warn them but we all run out anyways because which one of us even follows orders?

We see the Poletec and a flying reptile thing jumping on the ship. General Skywalker ignites his lightsaber and Wrecker points his blaster at it, and I'm tempted to do the same.

"Hey! Get off of there!" Wrecker shouts.

"Hey, calm down. We needa talk to them," General Skywalker says.

"Why?" Hunter asks.

"The General's right," Rex says, and then I hear some more flying reptiles in the distance, and I spin around to look at them, blaster and sword drawn. General Skywalker pushes Rex out of the way so that Rex doesn't get clawed to death by the reptiles. We all point our blasters towards them, unsure of whether to shoot or not.

Suddenly, the flying reptile and the Poletec on the ship swoop down and grab General Skywalker. He's caught off guard, dropping his lightsaber, and I throw my knife at the reptile before it can get too far away. It hits the reptile in the chest, but not deep enough to be a lethal shot, although I can hear it screeching as it flies away. Rex fires his pistol at the reptile but none of the shots hit.

"I have a thermal reading," Tech says. "Point two five east, elevation 175." His visor is lowered.

"Relax. I'll handle this," Crosshair says, before attaching a grappling hook to his rifle and using Tech's shoulder as support (we'll never get to see this again this is so sad), shooting it at the reptile. It hits and Hunter attaches the cable to himself.

"What are you doing?" Rex asks.

"Going for a ride." And then Hunter's lifted off his feet, flying into the air.

I just stare at Crosshair, eyes widened. Holy shit that was fucking cool. Bro really has to be so pro at sniping.

And then I think of my own sniping skills which are slightly decent at best and suddenly I'm filled with a slight jealousy of his skills. Like bro he gets to be badass and do all those fucking trick shots and I'm stuck here throwing knives.

Shut up.

"Tech, I'm with the General. Hone in on my signal," I hear Hunter say through the comms. Tech and the rest of us head back to the ship and do so, before heading to Hunter's location. We land on a ridge near what looks like the Poletec village and run down to Hunter, who's near the edge, looking across at the village.

"That creature still has a hold of the General," Hunter says.

Rex zooms in on the village, and I do the same, seeing the General getting pinned under one of those reptiles' claws. "We're going in, but remember what the General said. No casualties, disarm only," Rex says.

"We're on it, Captain," Hunter says. "Wrecker, Crosshair, rockslide."

The rest of us slide down the ridge to the village as Wrecker and Crosshair push a really big rock down the ridge, and we run behind it as it knocks down some tall but not-so-advanced structures, using the dust as cover.

We shoot at the weapons that the Poletecs are holding, disarming them. I throw a few knives at their weapons, they all hit their target and disarm them. 

We run to the place where General Skywalker is, and I see some electrified thing hit the claw that's holding General Skywalker, probably shot by Crosshair, and the reptile jumps back, letting General Skywalker dodge the rock that's rolling towards him. We all point our blasters at the Poletecs in case they try to do anything. 

The Poletec that Hunter's pointing his blaster at speaks some alien language, and Hunter asks Tech to translate what he's saying.

Tech steps forward, presses a few buttons on that control panel on his wrist, and moves his visor down above his eyes. "He says he does not want our war on his planet. That is why he took our leader."

The rest of us still point our blasters at the Poletecs. 

Can we just hold them at gun/knifepoint and just get them to give us whatever info we want?

"We didn't bring the war here. It was Wat Tambor and the Separatists," General Skywalker says.

Tech translates what General Skywalker said into the alien language, something that both Crosshair and I find kinda funny as I'm tryna hold in my laughter as we all lower our blasters. Definitely gotta roast Tech for that.

"Tell him we apologize for what's happened," Rex says. "But tell him the enemy is holding one of our men prisoner in Purkoll.  As soon as we rescue him, we'll leave his planet for good."

Tech translates what Rex said into the alien language again, and I try my best to keep a straight face. This is just too funny. 

As Tech and the Poletecs talk some more and agree about sending scouts and stuff to help find the city, I run to the reptile that I threw my knife into and rip it out. It's wedged kinda deep in there, and when I pull it out, it's covered in red blood, dripping onto the floor. The reptile screeches and tries to attack me, but I shoot it with a stun blaster a few times and it's knocked out. The other Poletecs move to attack me, but then Rex and Tech help to calm them all down.

"Woah woah woah, calm down, she's just tryna get her weapons, no need to panic," Rex says, and Tech helps translate it. The other Poletecs calm down when what I think is their leader nods at them.

I pull my other knives out from the weapons that I threw them at and head back to the others.

"Nice going," Crosshair knocks his shoulder into mine as we set off with the other scouts, the sarcasm in his voice is obvious. I cross my arms as I follow behind him. "Thanks."

We follow the scouts quite a bit of distance and find ourselves on a really high cliff. The Poletec scouts point at what looks like Purkoll in the distance before walking down the direction we just came up in.

"Hope nobody's scared of heights," General Skywalker says. I try not to let it show, although sometimes heights get on my nerves.

Hunter and Crosshair look at Wrecker.

"Well I'm not scared of nothing. I just...When I'm up real high, I got a problem with gravity," Wrecker says.

"That's being scared of heights, Wrecker. You're real smart," I roll my eyes under my helmet, standing next to Rex.

"Speaking of problems," Tech, who's standing behind Wrecker, speaks up. "I am no longer picking up Echo's signal."

"I...I don't understand," Rex says. "You said it was coming from this city." He points towards Purkoll.

"I can only speculate, but it is possible there's a latency issue with the frequency caused by all these atmospheric disturbances."

"Or, maybe they sent the signal to lure us into a trap," Hunter suggests. "And maybe your friend's actually dead." He folds his arms. "Well, I can't be the only one thinking of that."

"Every mission could be a trap," Rex and I say at the same time, and I glare at him, falling silent. "This one is no different," Rex continues. "I'm telling you that signal is being sent by Echo himself! He's alive!" I nudge Rex in the side. "Be realistic, Captain. There's not really a high chance that that's gonna happen."

"I think you're letting your personal feelings get in the way because you left him for dead at the Citadel," Crosshair says, and I clench my fist around one of my knives, which is sheathed in my belt right now. That eagerness to punch him in the face out of pure anger, it's strong, but I resist it. Not really the logical thing to do right now.

"I had no choice, you hear me?!" Rex, unlike me, isn't doing much of a good job hiding his anger.

"Oh, I don't blame you. I would've left him for dead too. Besides, he's just another reg."

I'm breathing heavily under my helmet, one hand gripped on the hilt of my knife, the other with my nails digging so hard into my skin, even though my glove, it leaves marks. Even though Crosshair is directing his words towards Rex, it's having an effect on me as well. 

And then Rex punches Crosshair in the face/helmet, knocking him to the ground. 

"Yoooo Rex, just chill!" I try to get him to calm down, but he's not stopping. I pull out my pistol and point it to Crosshair's head as Wrecker picks Rex up by the back of his armor. "I called first dibs."

"Hey! Why don't you pick on someone not your size?" Wrecker throws Rex to the ground, who almost instantly gets up, walking up real close to Wrecker. "You'll be a whole lot smaller when I'm through with you."

My pistol is still pointed to Crosshair's head, my finger resting on the trigger, my other hand drawing my knife and pressing it under his helmet and to his neck, I'm breathing heavily, all sense of logic gone, it's the same feeling when Fox killed Fives. And it's strong.

"That's enough!" General Skywalker puts a hand on Rex and Wrecker's shoulders, pushing them away from each other before Wrecker beats Rex to clone mush, and then he pushes me and Crosshair apart before I can get any more blood on my knife. 

"Sergeant, take your men and scout the area for a tower entrance. I want to talk to my troopers alone," General Skywalker orders, sounding slightly fierce.

Rex and I stay behind as the batch walk away. Toothpick bitch glances back at us for a moment, before looking away.

"Rex, Aris, I hate to say it, but...you have to prepare yourself for the possibility that Echo is dead, and this is all a Separatist trick," General Skywalker puts a hand on our shoulders.

"Sir, I have watched so many of my brothers fall during this war, and I try not to hang on to any one of them," Rex says, taking off his helmet. "But that changed when I heard that Separatist transmission. It was no algorithm. That was Echo's voice. I know it."

"And if there's any chance that Echo, my brother, is still out there, alive, we have to take it," I add on, taking off my helmet as well.

"I hope you're right," General Skywalker says. "But if, for some reason, you're wrong..."

"Then I'll deal with it," Rex and I say at the same time.

And I've learned to deal with it on my own. No "Dad" to comfort me or help me. That's what I did with Fives. And if I have to do it again with Echo, I will.

All I'll need to do is constantly wipe the blood off my knives, and make sure no one sees the wounds on my arms.

[bonesandthebees]

okay so like i was gonna just start on this tonight and get the general ideas down and finish this when i was Awake and Functioning but then i started rambling so uhhh jazz handss

take me describing the diff energies ur fics give off, i am sorry if this is uncomprehensible fjwaewf (is that even a word?? incomprehensible? ye-)

through a glass divine: DEFFFF rainy day vibes, the au feels very Elegant to me even though glass!wilbur himself is very much not, when I read glass I get the same vibes as being in a car /pos, it's comforting but can get intense at times, sometimes with no warning. like one minute your head is against the glass (heh, pun unintended lol), and ur looking out at the streetlamps, the next the breaks are SLAMMED and u get whacked against the seatbelt lmfaoooo (this is all /pos !! i love the angst lol)

world forgetting: FOGGG, that's the first thought that pops into my head, things are unclear first and it's a little eerie but there's also something comforting about it (i will use this word a lot bc . well ur writing is comforting hehehe), the first half of wf was very exciting, it reminded me of when i used to have my mcu marathons, edge of my seat, shoving popcorn into my face, and just glee, the first few chapters with wf especially with the combat made me so fucking giddy lmfaooo i had so much fun reading it, the second half was a lot more calm and melancholy, it was defff sitting on the couch while it rains outside vibes, like MM the hurt comfort?? give me a blanket and a pillow to squeeze bc hot damnn

stars and their children: stars man . hooweeee, this fic was binging a 12 season show vibes, you invest a lot into it and wow the emotional damage?? for real. this fic was late night rants at sleepovers, theorizing n coming up with silly conspiracy theories (i think this was when i really started reading the asks, so for me it has a lot of those vibes tied to it), when i read stars… i feel a lot of Awe. it feels big, it feels important, it also feels like im reading a very fancy novel from a very big library, like i feel like i've stepped into a massive multi-tiered library and plucked my favourite book from its shelf, i can imagine the hardcover being absolutely gorgeous, it gives me the same vibes as getting assigned a book to read in class and having your mind blown /pos from it, like "damn i understand why they make us read this bc wow"

(fun fact i have ur ao3 page bookmarked on my toolbar lmaoooo)

honey and tangerines: well . this one just gives me island and coastal vibes lolll u described them very well, but okay from a reading perspective? besides indie movie lmao. i'd say… hanging out with a friend you haven't seen in a while. it's familiar, it's bittersweet, it's thrilling. honey and tangerines gives me the vibes of doing something youve been wanting to for awhile but were always too scared to. pushing your boundaries. it's all those classic "finally living life vibes", staying out till 3 am, finally getting around to decorating your room, going on a roadtrip. when i read honey and tangerines, it feels like i'm experiencing life. all the prev fics either feel like novels or movies, but hats feels like life

what the water gave me: ngl when i read this i just feel such pure emotion that i cry like idek how to explain it man. it's so all encompassing /pos it does give me staying up late in my room with fairy lights vibes though, dunno why. just gives off that same warm energy

A DUSTY TOMB OMGGOJEAWE i need to reread that anyways

a dusty tomb: straight off the bat, playing dnd. dnd is so much fun and i have so many happy memories from it and a dusty tomb defff gives off those vibes, chaos, freeing, family. it also gives off the vibe of finding a piece of old writing in a buried notebook and reading it and going "wtf?? when did i write this this is amazing" maybe that's just bc it feels like u read my mind writing it lmao it's perfect i adore it so much and i have reread it an unholy amount of times, i just get the vibes of sitting criss cross on the floor and reading it, it's not necessarily a comfy position but it's enjoyable nonetheless, just a happy moment for oneself, it feels like giving yourself a treat, self care, all of that good stufff

no time confounds me: def feels like watching a tv show /pos, it def feels like smth i'd put on w my stepmom or my birth mom and just absolutely fucking Vibe to it bro, that fic is suchhh a vibe, i'd sink into my couch and get HOOKED, it also ofc brings w it all the vibes of just where i live LMAO, and the motorcycling reminds me of my dad <333 i miss motorcycling with him dawggg it's so much fun, but yeahhh. all the vibes described in the fic just make me want to go out for a hike in a forest lmao, i love it. also hot chocolate. this fic is defff drinking hot chocolate vibes

nocturnal animals: ooohh this one is defff late night vibes, working late on hw and looking out ur window and just taking a moment to appreciate the stars n stuff, also windy day vibes, this def feels like a novel my friend would shove at me to read and i'd be like "brooo i dont even LIKE vampires" and theyd be like "no bro just trust me" and then i'd be really bored one day so i'd pick it up and then get addicted . and then in this hypothetical series that has like a billion books i'd go to the library and borrow them all and binge them in a week lmfao, i love this fic sm ngl, i would proudly display this fic on my bookshelf (well i mean, i would literally display all of ur fics on my bookshelf KING i would have a shelf dedicated to ur fics 100%)

okay… i think those are all the main fics, there're a couple more that i've read but i am . getting really really reallyyy tired and idek if any of this is comphrensible lmfaooo 😭 😭 😭

i hope u enjoyed bee <333 tldr: i love ur writing and i have core memories attached to all of these fics and they are all special to me in their own way <33

ohhhh these are so cool to read icy (sorry it took me so long to respond I've been so busy lately)

lmao love all the drama in glass being compared to a car braking super suddenly. rainy car drives is definitely not the vibe I think it has in my head but that's super sweet to imagine :)

comparing stars to a Big Fancy Book makes me so happy thank you so much. I have this absolutely gorgeous fancy version of Dune with a stunning cover and I always imagine something kind of similar as the 'cover' for stars in my head so i love that you imagine that too

in contrast you and i feel the exact same about honey and tangerines. it's definitely that kind of bittersweet reconciling friendship vibe. saying it feels like life means so much thank you <33 thats exactly what I was going for

to me what the water gave me feels like swimming in a warm tropical ocean at night which might be a bit on the nose but yeah that's what I think of. but fairy lights in a room sounds so nice I love that

awww I love that idea for dusty tomb. just rereading something nostalgic and wonderful and feeling so comforted by it. that makes me smile a lot to imagine :)

hot chocolate and watching a tv show YEAHHHH you get it that's exactly what i was going for from no time confounds me. also that's so funny that you mention motorcycling with your dad bc that's where my descriptions of riding motorcycles comes from. my dad always used to pick me up from school on his motorcycle when I was a little kid, it was so much fun

oooo windy day for nocturnal animals is interesting but I love it. also god you saying it feels like a series with dozens of books reminds me of this vampire series i read in middle school that had like 10 books it's absolutely nothing like nocturnal animals but now I'm having a nostalgia trip thinking about it lol

thank you icy this was so sweet to read :)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

THANK YOUU so nice to be back to being unproductive LMAO

USHDDKSJA DW IM BACK FOR MORE OAEU JOKES AND OTHER GOOFY RAMBLINGS wait bro people are already actually taking it too seriously??? I was gone for three days and this is what happens dw Im back and ready to slander and throw hands /j also damn was it ever that serious like people have opinions so even if you were serious??? Smh glad to be back and will fs be stepping up my Mira defender game wtf

NO FR Barou in a diff universe cmon you KNOW Karasu is right up your alley take the bait Barou fans take the bait…..but SAME???? The first ep really did him wonders probably also because eightbit put extra effort into the first ep….

MY RIDE OR DIE WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER!!! Yeah I’d never join itoshiopolis because the fans there are actually kinda insane but ig I won’t slander him for being emo looking as often

Pursuit tabieita fr my favorite I can’t wait to see them introduced and having their dumbass moments LMAO

Aikuniko unexpected duo my Roman Empire I never expected to like either character LMAOOO ok wait speaking of I saw some profiles floating around from the new bible??? I thought it was releasing later but????? Ok I tried to grab the link from Reddit (ew I know) but it wouldn’t let me for whatever reason without like sending it as a thing through Reddit but I don’t even have an account and I’m not about to make one (maybe technology hates me atp or I should start cracking out an industrial grade computer to do shit) soooo but if you just scroll in the main blue lock subreddit there’s a bunch of profiles posted including Aiku kiyora Hiori Nanase etc! Aikus has me dying but I think I just got my shit rocked reading hioris what the fuck LMAOOO anyways um happy reading!!

FRRR im already interacting with every bllk post that comes my way to try and influence my fyp but it gets taken over by like random shit idek but yeahhhh definitely more slideshow looking this time HAHA the way they animated chigiri running really had me crying because why did they just drag him across the screen like that but I mean either way KARASUUUU HE FR LOOKED SO GOOD AND OMG YEAH THE HANDS >>>>>> i agree he did look more majestic in the manga LOL yeah i think the smirk makes the animators exaggerate some proportions and whatnot but the extra Bambi panel thank you eightbit the way I screamed when I heard the villain line LMAOOO

FRRR nagi Karasu majestic panel when!! Maybe we’ll get one from epinagi if it ever gets to the MC vs PXG match LOL

15K FOR AN OPP IS CRAZY LMAOOO no because you’re serving even FOR the opps that’s actually crazy if I had to make content for an opp I feel like I’d half ass it but anyways GOGO YOU GOT THISSSS

- Karasu anon

HOORAY FOR BEING UNPRODUCTIVE 🙂‍↕️💖

OAEU JOKES ON TOP they will never not be funny to me sorry not sorry…please it really never was that deep i’m afraid!! people mostly keep it cute and idm diff opinions but sometimes it’s like okay well i fear you missed the point a bit here. i fear i was just joshing with ya. i fear i was being overly dramatic to prove a point. SORRY I WON’T DO IT AGAIN 😭💔

BAROU FANS PLEASEEE KARASU FANS ALREADY LOVE BAROU LETS FORM A COALITION PLSSS and yeah they def put more effort into the first ep KDJFJS maybe it’s because nagi’s in that ep so they had to lock in…also the barou cameo in this ep had me giggling he looked rlly good in it too he’s so #bae

RIDE OR DIESSSS FR okay wait this is insanely controversial but it has to be said idc abt itoshi bros angst i just don’t think it was ever that serious idk how people genuinely cry and feel sad abt it…maybe it’s because i’m coming from fandoms where characters die and shit but like it just isn’t sad to me??? like okay sae doesn’t want to play soccer w rin anymore…maybe rin just needs more hobbies or smth LSHFSJJDSN IDK IDK TOP TEN OPINIONS THAT WOULD PUT A HIT ON ME FR itoshi fans do NOT play

I CAN’T WAIT EITHER UGH I JUST NEED TO FINISH THIS REQ AND THEN I’M ON IT

OKAY i just read through them 😭 KIYORA’S HAS ME CACKLING WHY IS BRO FREAKY LIKE THAT 😫 maybe karasu and otoya were onto smth when they decided to bully him…also kurona and his multiple pet hedgehogs?? hello??? that is SO random yet somehow also in character…pls hiori’s insane celebrity crush is so funny and AIKU omg the way he has a gambling and underage drinking issue is so him i can’t he’s so insane and him hating chocolate is SO in character somehow like he would be the one 😰 just patiently sitting and waiting for more karasu barou and yukimiya content now 👁️👁️ nagi has his own spinoff manga so i’m pretty fed in terms of nagi info but the other three GIVE IT TO ME NOW wait also aiku having an older and younger sister just like otoya is hilarious what is it abt that combo that creates absolute VILLAINS ⁉️

hold on related to epinagi i have to say i did not care abt himizu’s backstory bruh literally who even likes him he’s done nothing in the main series 😭 i’ve seen predictions that he might somehow injure chigiri in barcha vs mc but i don’t think he would just because chigiri’s leg is such a major plot point that idt they’d do smth to it without isagi around?? if that makes sense?? idk though

PNG LOCK WE ARE SO BACK 🙂‍↕️ i’m laughing at least they didn’t fumble too much w the art style…i feel like we knew going into it that the majority of the budget went into the u20 match so it was kinda expected ngl…HEARTBREAKING as a karasu fan but THRILLING as a nagi/barou fan 😭 sacrifices must be made ig at least karasu is incapable of looking bad and does have some scenes in u20 too so all hope is not lost!! plus we get the scene of all of them shirtless in the locker room and one thing abt 8bit they eat UP shirtless scenes LSJFJDJD expecting smth glorious for shirtless karasu’s anime debut

omg wait actually now that you mention it epinagi might have smth usable in the current match i’ll have to go back and lurk…epinagi artist LOVES karasu his panels are always insanely good the problem is like he has so few panels that if i make a karasu theme my blog will look exactly the same as every other karasu fan’s and my individuality complex will not allow that /hj

OUT SOON I PROMISE I’M FINISHING UP had to take a break for dinner and some internship application stuff but i’m back to the grind now TRUST

[taintedcigs]

His touch was gentle, his lips were soft and he was so desperate to feel you against him – you were just as desperate and the kiss just showed how much you still love him, how much you still want him, how much you crave him even after everything that happened between you both. But, not even the passion of the kiss could erase the things he had done to you. 

SCREAMING CRYING PERFECT STORRRMRMMMSSS.

DAMN READER FEELS SO GUILTY EDDIEEEE PLS UNDERSTAND HER ONCE U FIND OUT PLSSS.

my mind is so confused already bc i want them both so badly. like i can't pick. im sawrryyyyy

“I-I wasn’t – I wasn’t thinking about how much I would hurt you again a-and, I-I just wanted, no, needed to kiss you again. I messed up, I was a selfish prick. And I promise, it won’t happen again if you don’t want it.” He is pleading with his eyes as he looks down at you, “I loved every second of it b-but I shouldn’t have done it. I-I just, please forgive me, dolly.” KJSDHFKJHLLLLLLLLLLLLL IM NOT OKAY. USING, DOLLY TOO?!??

“I won’t ever do it again,” he says, even though kissing you is all he wants to do. “I just, I don’t want to lose you again.”

You don’t want to lose him again either.  somebody sedate me. we ARE NOT OFF TO A GOOD START LADIES. IM ALREADY SOBBING.

OH EVERYONE IS HERE SHIT SHITTTT... (but hey!!! we love some robin and chrissy moment so IM NOT COMPLAINING AT ALLL)

STEVE NOT HAVING ANYONE LEFT... BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. DW STEVE YOU'LL HAVE ROBIN SOON OKAY!!!

“Thanks for the call, sweetheart,” he says sarcastically, furrowing his brows with a fake smile on his lips, “I mean for thanks for letting me know that you got home safe. Oh and super nice of you to keep ignoring my calls all day too.”  OHHH EDDIE IS SO SALTY LMAO. HES GONNA FLIP TF OUT ONCE HE FINDS OUT NOOOOOOO!!!

But you and Eddie are just friends, right? girlie, i have SOMETHING to tell you!

“Yeah, I can see that,” he mumbles, glancing at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie’s attitude. *puts on my swiftie delusional clown makeup* what the hell they are sooo in love. wtf they want each other soooo bad.

“You two will be menaces to each other.” Andy is it too delulu for me to think this is a nod off to me bc i always say they are such menaces to each other?!?!? CAN I FINALLY SAY I AM IN THE IKYLLATK UNIVERSE?!?!?! (im kidding)

“I always wanted to take your girl for a ride.” these lil idiots LMAOOO.

“Hey there, co-worker,” Steve says, unable to hold back his chuckle. She slumps back, looking very miserable before her eyes light up and she sits back up, “wait! Does that mean that you have to wear one of those sailor uniforms too?” At that, Steve groans and looks away.  “Sailor uniforms?” YES YES YES. FINALLY WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR. STOBIN FRIENDSHIP IS COMING. AND WE GET STEVE IN THAT DAMN UNIFORM. EDDIE IS GONNA TAKE THE PISS OUT OF HIM LMAOO

I so relate to Chrissy and Robin's nosiness my bbies are so relatable.

THE POPCORN THING?!?! EDDIES DRAMATIC ASS LMAOOOO.

UH OHHH ROBIN I KNOW U LOVE TALKING A LOT (ME TOO) BUT DON'T PLEASE DON'T- oh fuck.

Eddie feels like someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water over him. He freezes and halts in his tracks, eyes widening as he feels his heart sinking to his stomach.  “W-What?” Eddie mumbles.  NOOO MY POOR BABY.

Eddie’s shoulders slump, his heart feels heavy in his chest. He feels so stupid to think that you wouldn’t do this. You could only resist him for so long. Steve Harrington still has your heart after all.  WHAT THE HELL IM SO CONFLICTED IDEK WHAT TO FEEL ANYMORE? DO I SOB BC EDDIE IS SAD? DO I HAVE HOPE FOR STEVE AND R? WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

I WILL ACCEPT MY STEVE AND ROBIN CRUMBS AMIDST ALL THE MESS THANK U!

“I would’ve told you if you picked up the fucking phone last night.” bby lets calm down pls!!

DAMN THIS EDDIE AND R ANGST IS SO SAD. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER :(( POOR R IS GETTING FLASHBACKS >:((

YAYYY I LOVE MCDONALDS.

NOOOO EDDIE ENJOY THE FRIES AND BE HAPPY PLS.

i am team pinky on fries & milkshake. sorry andy baby. I HATE THEM :(((

Is he sick of you? Did he finally realize that you aren’t worth his time? Did he have a sudden change of heart just like Steve did when he went from loving boyfriend to awful boyfriend overnight? Did your radio silence piss him off that much? Oh r my baby:(( eddie you gotta apologize ASAP. shes rethinking her entire life SHE CARES SM ABOUT U!!!

“Get your fucking jealousy in check before you keep hurting her!” Steve yells over the harsh rain that is falling. “She is not – I-I’m not..” “Yes, you fucking are. You were fine before the movie, so I’m guessing you –” he points at Robin, who breaks eye contact right away and slumps, “told him something and I have a pretty fucking good idea of what it is!” DAMN I TOLD U THIS BEFORE BUT IM ENJOYING STEVE'S GROWTH!! HE NEEDED TO KEEP EDDIE IN CHECK AND IM GLAD IT KNOCKED SOME SENSE INTO HIM... they are literally so in love and they are also so in love with reader too

“She pushed me away when I kissed her and I think we all know why.” Eddie’s eyes widen.  “Now get your ass up there and fix it,” Steve says angrily.  I cannot do this anymore andy I CANNOOOOTTTTTTT

I LOVE CHRISSY AND ROBIN BEING SO RIDE AND DIE FOR READER LMAOO.

“No baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being stupid,” he sighs, not even noticing the nickname that rolled off his tongue so naturally.  YEP YEP!!! U BETTER APOLOGIZE!!! ily eddie but don't be silly again (well be silly always but not like this) pls!

“Stop apologizing. Just hold me,” you mumble into his chest, “we can talk later.” I LOVE THEM SM MY LITTLE ANGEL BABY CUTIE HONEY PIESSSSS

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you.” OH MY GOD. SOMETHING HAS SHIFTED ALRIGHT... DAMN I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO FEEL ANYMORE IM A PUDDLE OF EMOTIONS LYING ON THE GROUND.

this was an EMOTIONAL ROLELRCOASTER. IDEK WHAT TO FEEL ANYMORE. WHAT DO I DO? DO I JUST GO ON WITH MY LIFE??? HOW;?? HOW ANDY??? god. ANOTHER beautiful chapter. this series is amazing AS ALWAYS. so good. im so impressed by everything u do i could ramble on forever. BUT I HAVE TO SLEEP. just know that ily and i love this series. and now i will not be speaking until further notice WTAFFFFF.

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 20

Warnings: angst, kinda mean!Eddie, mentions of an ED, fluff at the end

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader, Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Tension arises between you and Eddie when Steve steps back into your life.

Word count: 8k+

A/N: If there's any typos or mistakes, you didn't see them! @hellfire--cult thanks for feeding me ideas, I'm blessed to have you

series masterlist

-

You can’t explain the awful feeling in your stomach or the suffocating feeling in your chest.

You have trouble understanding why it all feels so wrong when it’s all you have dreamed of for so long. Steve kissed you in a way he had never kissed you before, not even when you had just started dating did he kiss you with so much passion and love the way he did last night. 

His touch was gentle, his lips were soft and he was so desperate to feel you against him – you were just as desperate and the kiss just showed how much you still love him, how much you still want him, how much you crave him even after everything that happened between you both. But, not even the passion of the kiss could erase the things he had done to you. 

The moment it all caught up to you, the moment something else came to your mind, you pushed him away and you ran, you ran away from him and now you feel guilty for it but you couldn’t stay, you couldn’t stick around any longer. 

You found Robin and Chrissy, blabbering out what happened to you before you begged them to take you home.

Now, you are laying in your bed, staring up at the white ceiling. You’re glad that you haven’t had much alcohol last night. The sharp pain in your lower stomach is already bad enough, you wouldn’t want to deal with both a headache and the awful cramps. 

You don’t know how, but you manage to drag yourself out of the comfort of your bed. When the pain in your stomach gets sharper, you suddenly regret the plans that you had made with your friends for today. 

Your heart leaps to your throat when your phone starts ringing. You don’t bother to hurry down the stairs to pick it up. You know who it is but you aren’t ready to talk to him. 

Eddie had done nothing wrong, he had never done anything wrong. 

But the thought of talking to him or even facing him fills you with an awful feeling, one that you can’t describe. You know you can’t run from it, you had made plans with Robin, Chrissy and Eddie. 

You let the phone ring and disappear into the bathroom, you close the door and drown out the voice of the shrill sound. 

You hope that a hot shower will help you get rid of that sickening feeling but your mind can’t rest and every time you think back to that kiss, you feel that immense guilt. Why? You wanted it, you wanted it just as much as he did. 

Steve is single and so are you, there is not a reason for you to feel guilty about something that you had wanted for so long. 

Or, maybe you feel guilty for doing this to yourself… again. Because why are you letting him back in? Why are you giving him the chance to hurt you again? 

It doesn’t matter how he feels about you, it doesn’t matter how much he loves you, it doesn’t matter, not anymore. 

He hurt you too many times for you to just let him back into your life like this. 

You cannot give him the chance to hurt you again. 

The clock strikes 2 when the doorbell rings. You furrow your brows when you look at the watch on your vanity, the one you never wear. Eddie is always on time when it comes to you but never when he picks up Robin first, she is always running late. You take one last look at yourself, fluffing out your hair a little more before you drop the lipgloss on the table. You smoothe down your skirt and reach for your little purse, picking out your favorite cardigan on the way out. 

The doorbell rings again when you walk down the stairs, “I’m coming!” You sigh. 

When you open the door, you don’t expect to see him on the other side. The smile that tugged at your lips instantly falls and tension arises in your body. 

“Hi.”

Steve. 

Your shoulders slump as you take in the sight of him. The soft and apologetic eyes, the hopeful look in his features. The messy hair. 

“Hey,” you whisper. 

“C-Can we talk?” 

You’d rather not. The fear that he will pull you back in is too big. 

“What about?” 

You keep holding onto the door, staring at him as you try to calm the feeling in your chest. He had already walked you home last night, even though you tried to protest against it, he could’ve talked to you then but he stayed quiet, you did too. 

He licks his lips as he looks down nervously. The atmosphere around you had changed yet again. You were ready to let him back into your life. You smiled at him again, you talked to him again, you wanted to be his friend – he ruined it all with a kiss and he knows it.

“I-I’m sorry, sweetheart.” 

As you look into his eyes, you know, you just know, he is genuine about it. There’s remorse lingering in them and fear – fear of losing you again. 

“Steve,” you sigh. 

“I-I wasn’t – I wasn’t thinking about how much I would hurt you again a-and, I-I just wanted, no, needed to kiss you again. I messed up, I was a selfish prick. And I promise, it won’t happen again if you don’t want it.” He is pleading with his eyes as he looks down at you, “I loved every second of it b-but I shouldn’t have done it. I-I just, please forgive me, dolly.”

Steve had never begged for forgiveness when you were still together, he had done so many awful things, he hurt you so many times but he never begged for forgiveness, he just dismissed them and moved on and acted like he had never done anything wrong. 

“I won’t ever do it again,” he says, even though kissing you is all he wants to do. “I just, I don’t want to lose you again.”

You don’t want to lose him again either. 

Something about the look in his eyes and the sadness in his voice makes you feel guilty. 

You nod. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, “just, promise me that you won’t kiss me again.”

“I promise!” He exclaims with wide eyes, “I promise, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I-I know that we’re not exactly friends but I-I’d love for us to be friends again.”

Right now, you don’t see the Steve that hurt you. You see the boy you used to play hide and seek with. The boy who used to pick flowers for you. The boy who used to pick you up in the afternoons to get sundaes at Benny’s. The boy you made a pact with when you were little kids – that you would stay friends, no matter what. 

And Steve really needs a friend. He doesn’t have Tommy anymore, he doesn’t have Nancy anymore – who is left?

“Steve?” 

“Yes?” He asks, furrowing his brows when you completely dismiss his words. 

“Who do you hang out with?” 

“No one,” he says without a single moment of hesitation. 

It might be his fault but you still feel bad for him. You and Tommy were his only friends and now he has neither one of you left. 

He has no one. 

No friends and not even his parents to come home to – they are never there.

Maybe it’s the image of him alone or maybe it’s just the look in his eyes that makes you feel heartbroken, sad for the man in front of you, the one who used to be your everything. 

Suddenly, you feel the need to keep the promise that you had made as kids. 

You open your mouth to speak but the sound of a car – a van pulling up to your driveway makes you freeze in your spot. Your heart leaps to your throat and you swallow harshly. 

Eddie.

Oh no. You had been ignoring his calls all day, breaking the promise that you would call after every party – you didn’t, at least not last night. You couldn’t. 

He gets out of the van and closes the door. You are so focused on him that you don’t see Chrissy and Robin on the other side of the van. Eddie stares at Steve’s car with a frown on his face and when he looks your way, he freezes. 

Steve notices the panicked look in your eyes, the nervousness is written all over your face. He turns around. Eddie stands there with a frown on his face, anger in his features and disappointment.

Robin and Chrissy share a look when they find Steve on your front porch. They are the firsts to walk towards you, glancing at Eddie nervously. 

You tear your eyes away from Eddie when Chrissy walks up the stairs, brushing past Steve, completely ignoring his presence. 

“Hey!” She smiles but with a questioning look in her eyes. You know what she is thinking; what is he doing here? 

“Hey Chris,” you smile and greet her with a hug. She places her hand on your shoulder when she pulls back, eying the skirt you are wearing, her eyes lighten up, “oh my god, is it the one we bought last week together?” 

“Yes!”

“I love it, it’s so cute!” 

“Don’t you have the same one?” Robin asks, chuckling as she approaches you, eying Steve weirdly. 

He rolls his eyes and sighs. 

“Yes but it’s not the same color, Robs!” 

Robin gives Chrissy a teasing smile before she looks over at you, “hey wild child, are you good after last night?” She tilts her head in his direction, raising her brows at you as though to say ‘what the fuck is he doing here?’ 

You would’ve laughed at the nickname she just gave you if it wasn’t for the intense look that Eddie is giving you as he walks up the stairs as well. You see his clenched jaw, he is angry – angry that you ignored his calls, angry to see him here. But there is also a hint of sadness in his brown orbs and you can’t take it – you can’t stand to see even a sliver of sadness in his eyes. 

He quickly masks it with something else, just the way he always does. 

“Thanks for the call, sweetheart,” he says sarcastically, furrowing his brows with a fake smile on his lips, “I mean for thanks for letting me know that you got home safe. Oh and super nice of you to keep ignoring my calls all day too.” 

You can’t even look at him so you look down. 

Steve’s brows stayed furrowed, the tension and the awkwardness isn’t hard to miss. Eddie looks at him in a way that almost makes him shrink under the weight of his eyes. So he turns back to you. You are blinking, chewing on your bottom lip and breathing heavily. You feel guilty, so guilty that you can’t even look at Eddie. Steve’s heart drops a little. He remembers how he felt when Nancy kissed him, how he couldn’t look into your eyes without feeling like the guilt was eating at him. He felt horrible, even when it wasn’t a kiss he initiated or even let happen, he still felt guilty, just as guilty as you are feeling, right now. 

But you and Eddie are just friends, right? 

Robin and Chrissy look at each other awkwardly. 

“Eddie, I-I’m sorry,” you say softly, “I had the worst headache–”

“Yeah, I can see that,” he mumbles, glancing at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie’s attitude. 

“Look, can we just go?” Robin asks, wanting to escape the awkward situation. 

“Yes please,” Chrissy mumbles. 

You look up, slowly looking between your friends. You already know that Robin and Chrissy are both going to be too busy with each other and Eddie is clearly pissed – you have seen him angry before but the anger was never directed at you and you know very well how he can be when he’s pissed.

Before you can stop the words from spilling, you look up at Steve. 

“Steve is coming too.”

All four of them turn to you, looking at you wide eyed – as though you had gone crazy. 

Chrissy looks annoyed, Robin looks confused, Eddie looks at you in disbelief and Steve, he stares at you with softened eyes. 

“I invited him,” you lie. 

Steve shakes his head at you, he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to include him, this is not what he came here for. He just wanted to apologize and make things right. 

Robin looks away with a clenched jaw and Chrissy looks down to hide her eye roll. 

“Can I talk to you, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, tilting his head. 

“Yeah,” you whisper, nervously. 

You walk past Steve and the girls, clutching your cardigan tightly as you step out on the porch. Eddie places his hand on your lower back and leads you down the stairs and towards his van. 

“Eddie, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to ignore you–”

“Did something happen?” He asks and finally swallows the anger down. He can hear the trembling in your voice, the shakiness of your hand which might be caused by something else. 

He feels the urge to cup your cheeks so he can see your eyes but you keep looking down at the graveled ground. 

You simply shake your head. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” He asks softly, this time. 

“I was really tired and I drank too much, I wasn’t thinking.”

You raise your head a little, daring to look at him. 

“You’re lucky Robin called me otherwise I would’ve broke into your house.”

Your lips twitch and you break into a smile, “wouldn’t be the first time.”

He can’t help but smile back at you, his anger melting away. 

“I-I’m sorry for inviting him, I know none of you want him around.”

“Then why did you invite him?” He asks, not out of anger but out of curiosity.

You can see the annoyance lingering in his eyes, the same annoyance you saw in Chrissy’s and Robin’s eyes. 

You don’t know why you feel the need to explain yourself but when you look at him, you know you have to. 

“He is just a friend now, I promise. I-I don’t want him like that – he’s just my friend.” 

Eddie’s eyes skip over your face. Your brows are furrowed, eyes pleading and filled with honesty – he just doesn’t understand what the guilt is for. 

“I still don’t understand why he has to be included.”

“He’s alone, Eddie.”

His brows knit together and he shakes his head. 

“No, he isn’t? He’s with Nancy and bitchy Carol and fucktard Tommy–”

“He broke up with Nancy and he doesn’t have friends. Not anymore.”

Oh. 

If there is one thing Eddie knows, it’s loneliness. And he can’t help but pity him. There isn’t much that he knows about Steve except for the things that you told him and his absent parents – it’s something that he unfortunately can relate to. He knows what it’s like to have no one. But fear grows inside of him at the news of Steve being single. 

“Fine, don’t expect me to not mess with him though.”

You roll your eyes, snorting at his words. 

“You two will be menaces to each other.” 

Whenever Eddie felt vulnerable, angry or hurt, he’d put on a mask, he would hide his true feelings by putting on a front. He had never felt that need to do that with you, not until now. 

He watches you with a weird feeling in his chest when you walk back to Steve. 

Robin gives Eddie a pitiful look but the latter refuses to show how insecure or sad he is. He puts on a fake smile and looks over at Steve. 

“I always wanted to take your girl for a ride.” 

Steve’s head snaps towards him, halting his movements, he stops jingling with his car keys and gives Eddie a weird look. 

“Excuse me?” 

Robin and Chrissy look at you before they turn to each other, erupting into a fit of giggles at the double innuendo. 

Eddie briefly glances at you before he nudges his chin into the direction of Steve’s BMW. 

Steve squints his eyes, “yeah, keep dreaming, Munson.”

Eddie chuckles, “I will.”

“Wait, are we taking your car?” You ask, turning to Steve. 

Robin mumbles something under her breath and Chrissy shushes her in response, nudging her shoulder. 

“Can we talk, y/n?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, at the movies.” 

You know exactly what he wants to talk about. He doesn’t want to intrude and he probably feels awkward to be around your friends. 

“Come on.”

Steve sighs, knowing that you won’t take no for an answer, he just gestures for you all to get in his car. He expects you to take the passenger seat but instead, you take Eddie’s hand in yours and lead him to the passenger side. 

“You can sit in the front,” you smile at Eddie as he looks down at you in confusion. 

“I’ll sit in the back with Chris and Robin.”

“Uh–” 

“Let’s go before the movie starts!” You say before anyone else can protest. 

Eddie and Steve share a look, not a very excited or happy one, it’s more one of annoyance. Neither of them want to spend time with the other. But they get in the car nonetheless. 

Chrissy and Robin get in as well, begrudgingly so. 

“Are we still going out for pizza afterwards?” Robin asks, looking between Chrissy, Eddie and you. 

Steve looks at you through the rearview mirror, seeing the way you scrunch your face up in disgust. 

“Yeah, we can order some when we get back to my place,” you mumble, “I definitely need some McDonald's today though.” 

Robin raises her brows in surprise, “what, is that hangover food for you or something?” 

Chrissy chuckles beside her. 

“Not exactly.”

No. It’s not your hangover food. Steve knows it. You only ever craved McDonald’s once a month. 

“Hey Robin, did you tell y/n about your new job yet?” She asks, trying to ease the tension in the car. 

Your lips part when you look over at your friend, “wait, what new job? You found something new?” 

“Yes!” Robin says, pretending to be excited, “I’m starting next week.”

“Where?”

“Scoops Ahoy!”

Chrissy smiles, nodding in excitement. 

Steve turns around, looking at you, surprised. His lips twitch and you almost laugh. Eddie glances between the two of you.

“Oh,” he furrows his brows, “the ice cream shop, huh?” 

“Yup.”

Robin doesn’t even acknowledge him properly, just nods into his direction. Oh, this is going to be interesting. 

“So, have you met your co-workers yet?” You ask. 

She twists the rings on her fingers, shaking her head. 

“Nope, I guess, I’ll meet them on monday.”

“You don’t have to,” you giggle.

“Huh?” 

The look of confusion amuses even Steve. 

You point your finger at Steve, who waves at Robin mockingly. 

Her eyes widen, for a moment she looks shocked before she lets out a groan of annoyance, “you gotta be kidding me..” 

“Hey there, co-worker,” Steve says, unable to hold back his chuckle. 

She slumps back, looking very miserable before her eyes light up and she sits back up, “wait! Does that mean that you have to wear one of those sailor uniforms too?”

At that, Steve groans and looks away. 

“Sailor uniforms?” 

“Come by on monday and you’ll see Steve in a pair of skimpy sailor shorts,” Robin winks at you. 

While you and Chrissy laugh and even Eddie joins in, smirking at Steve, “are you gonna wear some slutty shorts, Harrington?”

“Shut up,” Steve mumbles, closing his eyes. 

“Alright, alright,” Robin mumbles, “can you start the car, dingus? We’re gonna miss the movie!”

“Yeah,” he sighs as he starts the car.

-

The drive to the movies wasn't the most joyful one you’ve been on. Eddie kept pestering Steve about his music choices. Steve kept rolling his eyes at him and Chrissy and Robin kept whispering to you. 

‘Why is he here?’

‘Why did you invite him?’

‘Are you with him again?’ 

‘What about –’

You never got to hear the end of Robin’s question, Chrissy slapped her shoulder before she could finish it. 

Walking into the movie theater has always been a nostalgic feeling to you, it always takes you back to your childhood. It’s oddly comforting. The smell of popcorn and butter makes your mouth water and you can’t wait to dig into the sweet treat. 

After buying the tickets, Chrissy takes your hand and leads you over to the lounge area while the others go to buy the snacks. 

The moment you take a seat, she starts bombing you with questions again. Rambling and throwing one after the other at you, not even giving you the chance to reply. 

“Chrissy–”

“No, please don’t tell me that you’re getting back with him,” she says, crinkling your nose. She watched you cry over him more than once, even before the break up. 

You shake your head, “no,” you mumble, taking a look at the others as they stand by the counter. 

“I just – he’s different now.”

Chrissy scoffs at your words, rolling her eyes. 

“Right, they all change when they get dumped.”

“He didn’t get dumped, he broke up with Nancy – and it doesn’t even matter! I don’t want to date him, I-I just, we’re friends now, I guess.”

Chrissy knows that Steve had always been more than just your boyfriend. He was your best friend, long before she became friends with you. 

“I just don’t want him to hurt you again, y/n.”

You tilt your head and smile at her, “please, don’t worry about me. I won’t let that happen, not again. We’re friends. That’s all.”

She nods at your words and glances at the others. Steve and Eddie seem to be fighting about something, she can’t help but chuckle in amusement. 

Eddie rolls his eyes at Steve, leaning closer to him to mock him about something. 

“What’s so funny?” 

She tilts her head at you, “well, I guess, Steve tagging along makes things more entertaining.”

With furrowed brows, you take a look at them – Eddie is holding a bag of popcorn in one hand, throwing some at Steve with the other.

“Guys!” You hear Robin’s annoyed voice. 

You snort. 

Robin is the first to come back, annoyance written all over her face,“they are so immature.”

She hands Chrissy the bag of popcorn and a box of Reese's pieces. 

“They’re men, what do you expect?”

“You’re right,” Robin says to Chrissy. 

“Sweetheart, tell Steve that you prefer salted popcorn,” Eddie says when he comes back, “he insisted on sweet popcorn.” 

Steve rolls his eyes at Eddie, stopping next to him. 

“Here we go again,” Robin mumbles under her breath. 

Steve already knows your answer so he doesn’t even look at you expectedly. Eddie seems to look like he knows your answer too and he does, but today it isn’t the right one. 

“Uh.” You get up and look at your best friend with an apologetic look in your eyes as you reach for the bag in Steve’s hand. “I’m sorry…”

Eddie’s eyes flash with confusion and his face falls. If you didn’t feel so guilty already, you would’ve been amused by the look of betrayal on his face. He is so dramatic. You’d be lying if you said that it’s something you don’t love about him though.

“W-What?” He scoffs as his lips set in a pout, “we always get salted popcorn!” 

“Yeah and it’s my favorite but I’m craving something sweet today. I’m sorry, Ed’s.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and looks away from you, “and how did you know that?” He asks Steve. 

Steve could have been smug about it, especially, seeing as it makes Eddie mad. 

He shrugs, “it’s just something that we always used to get when we came here,” he lies. 

Suddenly, you want to run, you want to escape. So you grab your purse and leave the group, pretending to look at the ticket that you were holding all this time. Chrissy gets up to follow you and so does Steve. 

Robin and Eddie stay back though, glancing at each other.

It’s not that they hate him. They don’t. But they know what he did to you, they know how much he hurt you, how much you suffered because of him and he had done nothing to earn your trust back. He just weaseled his way back into your life and you let him. 

And despite his jealousy and the fear of losing you, Eddie still isn’t as angry as Robin is – because he thinks about your words; ‘He’s alone, Eddie.’

Eddie and Robin follow the three of you, he watches you, he watches how you interact with Steve and Chrissy, laughing at something he said. 

“I’m so fucking pissed,” Robin says. 

“Why?” He asks but keeps his eyes on you. 

“Because he will just hurt her again. I can’t believe she feels bad for him after the shit he did to her.”

“Well, can’t really fight her when she’s this stubborn,” Eddie shrugs. 

“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to be friends with her – I mean, when Billy kissed her he was like all rough and shit, and then Heather – fuck, when Heather told me she kissed Steve, I was fuming!” She says, looking up as she groans in anger. 

Eddie feels like someone had dropped a bucket of ice cold water over him. He freezes and halts in his tracks, eyes widening as he feels his heart sinking to his stomach. 

“W-What?” Eddie mumbles. 

Robin stops walking when she notices that Eddie is no longer beside her. She glances at the three of you before she turns back to him and sees the look of confusion and sadness in his eyes – fuck. She should have known. She should’ve known that you didn’t tell him. That is why you didn’t call him. That is why you didn’t pick up any of his calls. 

“S-She kissed Steve a-and Billy?” He asks with widened eyes, “please, tell me you’re joking, Robin.”

Robin’s own eyes widen as well and she starts shaking her head wildly, “no! It was spin the bottle.” 

A part of him feels relieved but the other part is still tense. His eyes begin to hurt. 

He curses at himself for not being there last night. You wouldn’t have to kiss Billy if he was there, you wouldn’t have to kiss Steve. 

“B-But it was just a game, right?”

A guilty feeling overcomes Robin and she already begins to regret that she even mentioned it. 

She wants to say ‘yes, it was just a game’ but Robin was never a good liar and even if she tried, he would know that she is not telling the truth. 

“It was just a game,” Eddie repeats, “her kissing Steve was just a game, right?” 

He doesn’t even care about Billy, the kiss with him was just a game. 

“Eddie–”

“Come on, Robin,” he mumbles, shakily. 

He knows he has no right to be upset over a kiss. You are not even his to lose. But he always hoped, deep down, he always hoped that there might be a chance for him someday. 

“She told me that he kissed her again afterwards – outside.”

Eddie’s shoulders slump, his heart feels heavy in his chest. He feels so stupid to think that you wouldn’t do this. You could only resist him for so long. Steve Harrington still has your heart after all. 

“But Eddie, I don’t think that it meant anything to her. She rejected him and then came to find me.”

Her words do nothing to make him feel better. 

Robin looks at him, anxiously. She knows how resentful Eddie can be when he’s hurt and by the look on his face, she knows that he is deeply hurt. 

“Are you guys coming?” Chrissy asks, interrupting Robin who was just about to say something. 

Eddie looks down with a clenched jaw. He doesn’t even want to be here anymore. 

“Yeah. Come on, Eddie.”

Eddie follows begrudgingly. He knows that he shouldn’t feel that way. It shouldn’t hurt as much. You are still just friends after all, you are not his girlfriend, you are not his, your heart isn’t his. 

You never gave any signs that you wanted him back, not even once. 

He shouldn’t be this upset. He shouldn’t feel so jealous. 

But it isn’t just the kiss or the kisses. 

You have only spent one evening with Steve, kissed him twice and you are already distancing yourself from him. Ignoring him and his calls. He is already losing you. 

His mood only gets worse when he finds you sitting next to him, giggling at something he said to you. He rolls his eyes and sits down on the other side of you. 

You turn away from Steve and towards him, smiling at him, “hey.”

“Hey,” he grumbles. 

He doesn’t even see the creased brows or the saddened look in your eyes, he’s staring at the white screen. 

“How was the campaign last night?” 

“Good.”

“Okay,” you mumble and lean back again, you frown in confusion. Is he this upset over some salted popcorn? 

Steve looks over at Eddie, his jaw is clenched, he blinks faster than usual, he is pissed. He was pissed before but not like this, he seemed to have calmed down on the drive here and even while they were at the counter, buying snacks, he seemed fine and even laughed and teased him, now he just looks angry. 

He glances at Robin who sits next to him, she is chewing on her bottom lip and bouncing her knee, completely ignoring Chrissy’s rambling. The room might be dark, but Steve can see the guilt in her eyes. 

“Hey Robin,” he whispers. 

She rolls her eyes at him, “what?”

“You didn’t tell Eddie about the kiss did you?” He whispers, careful that you aren’t listening. 

She freezes a little and that is enough of an answer. Shit. Steve doesn’t really care about Eddie or about what he feels. He understands him but he still doesn’t care. 

He cares about you. Back at your house, he saw the way you avoided Eddie’s eyes, the way you looked so scared and guilty, you were scared of his reaction that’s why you avoided him. You didn’t want him to know. 

Now he knows and you don’t know that he does. 

“Are you not gonna tell me about it?” Steve hears you asking him. 

Eddie doesn’t even glance at you, he only leans further away from you. 

“I would’ve told you if you picked up the fucking phone last night.”

You’re taken aback by the anger in his words, by the curse words that he never ever directed at you. 

Normally, you would have said something but the guilt that you are still feeling makes you unable to talk. Besides, you are too intimidated to say anything back, scared that he will lash out on you because, clearly, he is deeply upset about something. 

Steve watches how you turn away from him, you roll your eyes but the sadness gives away how hurt you are by Eddie’s attitude towards you. 

Steve glares at Eddie, the urge to whack him across his curly head is strong. 

He nudges your shoulder and gives you a soft smile when you look at him, “you okay?” 

You hesitate, “...yes.”

Eddie narrows his eyes to look at the two of you and he keeps doing it during the whole movie. 

Normally, you would comment on certain scenes, so would he. Normally, you would laugh together and you would lean your head on his shoulder, he would wrap his arm around you. 

Today, he leans away from you and after a few attempts to talk to him or make him laugh, you give up when he keeps brushing you off. You lean away from him as well. He doesn’t comment on anything and neither do you anymore. He is still pissed and you are still tense, your mind is filled with thoughts that you don’t want to think about and despite the painkillers you took earlier, your stomach is still cramping. You are hurting today. 

Despite the funny moments in the movie, you cannot laugh, in fact, you feel like crying – whether it’s your period making you overly emotional or just Eddie.

Eddie is giving you the cold shoulder and it hurts, it fucking hurts. 

He had never done anything like that to you before. 

You have been close friends for almost a year now and not once had he said or done anything to hurt you. But now, he is giving you the silent treatment, the cold shoulder and you can’t stand it because it’s something that Steve used to do to you. 

Whenever he was upset about something, he wouldn’t talk, he wouldn’t tell you what was going on in his mind, he wouldn’t tell you what you did wrong, he would simply give you the cold shoulder and ignore you for the rest of the day.

And now Eddie is doing the same to you. 

Eddie who you thought would never do this. 

The moment the credits start rolling, you jump up from the seat and push past Eddie. You rush out of the room after making up some excuse that you have to use the bathroom. 

“Is she okay?” Chrissy asks Eddie. 

“How would I know?” He snaps at her and gets up as well, leaving the others behind as he makes his way out as well. 

Chrissy scrunches her face up and looks at Robin, “what’s gotten into him?”

“Jesus..” Steve runs his fingers through his hair, “what a brat.” 

“Who?” Chrissy asks as she takes a proper look at his face for the first time today, “Eddie?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re right,” she mutters under her breath as she gets up, “I can’t believe I’d ever agree with you.”

Steve isn’t offended by her words. He knows that your friends never liked him and he doesn’t blame them. They have always been protective of you and of your feelings, something that he wasn’t when you were dating. 

“Let’s just go,” Robin says, “I need the pizza now.”

After some internal pep talk and five minutes of trying to keep yourself from breaking down, you leave the bathroom and step back into the empty hallway – almost empty hallway. You are almost startled by his presence. Out of all your friends, you didn’t expect to see him waiting for you. 

You halt in your tracks. He is looking at you the same way he did when he just came to your place. 

Eddie looks at your eyes, he notices the glassiness right away, whether you cried or not, he feels awful, despite the jealousy and the anger that he is still feeling. 

“Who pissed in your coffee this morning?” You finally snap at him. 

If he wasn’t so on edge already, he would’ve laughed and he would’ve loved the cute frown on your face. 

If he didn’t have a sleepless night, he maybe wouldn’t have been so pissed but the sleepless night was your fault. 

Even through the angry haze, he can see how beautiful you look today – you always look beautiful but something about the way you look today makes his heart race even faster. Maybe it’s the new skirt or maybe it’s the way you did your makeup or the fact that you are wearing his ring – you always wear it but, somehow, it means even more to him that you are wearing it today, even after the kiss with him. 

Eddie never gets to answer your question. 

Your friends join the two of you and interrupt your little tense moment. 

“Let’s go, we’re gonna order some pizza.”

You tear your eyes away from his, sighing as you walk past him. 

“Yeah, can we order? I don’t feel like eating there.”

Robin and Chrissy nod. They pull you away from Eddie and Steve. 

Both men stay behind for a moment, Eddie looks at the ground, a mixture of guilt and anger still deep in his features. 

Steve wants to say something and he opens his mouth but decides against it. Anything that he will say, will only anger the metalhead even further and he doesn’t want to risk making things worse.

So he turns around and walks away. 

You are surprised to see Robin and Steve sharing a knowing look when you all get back into his car, they both take a look at Eddie, who is silent, unlike on the drive here. 

Chrissy leans closer to you, she cups her hand over her mouth, “did something happen between you and Eddie?” She whispers, giving you a look of concern and confusion. 

You shake your head at her and shrug. You are just as confused. 

Her eyes soften when she sees the worry and the hurt in your eyes, she gives you a sad smile and takes ahold of your hand, trying to comfort you. 

Your lips twitch, you squeeze her hand back before you turn away, looking out the window instead. 

The day started off good, the sun was shining and the breeze was warm but, just like your mood, the weather had taken a turn for the worse. The clouds appeared like dark shadows over the pretty blue sky and the breeze turned into a harsh wind. It isn’t raining yet but you know it’s about to start falling any minute.

Somehow, the weather always matches your mood. 

“I thought we were getting pizza?”

You were so focused on watching the clouds move, you didn’t pay attention to where you were driving. 

Your eyes light up a little when you see the McDonald’s sign. 

“Y/n doesn’t want pizza,” Steve says as he pulls into the drive through, “she wanted burgers.”

For a moment, you forget about Eddie’s anger, the pain in your stomach or the guilt. Your eyes widen and a smile tugs at your lips, you have been craving burgers and fries all day. 

“Oh! Fries too, please, Stevie!” 

You don’t hear Eddie’s scoff over Steve’s chuckle, “I know, dolly.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and clenches his fist.

“Does anyone want anything?” 

Eddie mumbles a ‘no’. 

Robin simply shakes her head and Chrissy leans closer to Robin to look out the window, reading the menu board. 

“Oh, can I have a strawberry milkshake?” Chrissy asks shyly, already reaching for the walled in her purse but you stop her, placing your hand over hers. 

“I got it, Chris.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Steve mumbles, looking over his shoulder, he glances at you both, “I’ll pay.”

She raises her brows, forcing a smile as she mumbles a quiet ‘thanks’. 

Robin is awfully quiet and you just notice it now when Chrissy leans back and you get to take a look at her. She keeps running her fingers through her hair, looking out the window with tense shoulders, just like Eddie. 

What the hell is going on?

Chrissy looks just as clueless as you though.

When Steve hands you the bag and the milkshake, a few minutes later, you almost squeal in excitement. Chrissy laughs at the look on your face and takes the milkshake from your hand. 

“Do you wanna share?” She asks, offering you the drink after taking the paper off the straw. 

“No thanks, I need the fries now.” You rip open the bag, the smell of greasy food makes your mouth water, “I’m so hungry,” you mumble as you reach for the fries. 

“Want some?” You ask Chrissy and Robin, “I’ll share, it’s too much for me anyways.” 

Robin shakes her head, “nah, I’ll wait for the pizza.”

Chrissy takes some, “you’re missing out, Robin.”

“Right?” You mumble through a mouthful, “you gotta dip them, Chris.”

“Not in a strawberry milkshake though!” She laughs, “it’s gotta be vanilla.”

Steve glances at you through the rearview mirror. His heart flutters when he sees the smile on your face. 

“Do you guys want some?” You ask, offering some to Steve and Eddie.

“It’s all yours, hangry,” Steve chuckles, using an old nickname. 

“I’m not hangry!” You slap his shoulder. 

“You want some Eddie?” You ask softly. 

He shakes his head, continuing to give you the cold shoulder. So he really is mad at you. Eddie never says no to fries, he steals some from your plate every time you go out to eat – or he finishes the ones that are left on your plate when you get too full to finish eating them yourself. 

You exhale and slump back in your seat, feeling sad all over again. 

You look down at the fries, suddenly, not feeling as hungry as you did before. Still, you continue snacking on the fries, choosing to save the burger for later. 

Chrissy looks at you worriedly when you frown and look down at your food, sadly, not as happy as you did a few moments back. She knows that you had been struggling in the past few months, you haven’t been eating as much and whenever you do, you quickly lose your appetite. Whether it’s the past memories that take away your appetite or something else – you have a problem. A problem that Eddie usually tries to help you with. 

She doesn’t know what happened but she can’t help but glare at the metalhead. 

But Robin is acting off too, so when you finally arrive back at your place and you all walk into your house. Chrissy takes Robin’s hand and pulls her away to the dining room to talk to her. 

“We’re gonna order the pizza!” Chrissy shouts as they disappear in the hallway. 

“Uh – okay.” 

Throwing your cardigan and your purse on the dresser, you walk into the living room. 

“Should I get some drinks?” Steve asks you, following you. 

“I can do it–”

“No, sit down, I’ll get some,” Steve mumbles, giving you a smile before he walks past you, disappearing in the kitchen. 

You reach for the remote to turn on some music on the TV, you always need the background noise, even in a room full of people. From the corner of your eye, you see him. You are surprised that he’s still here, you figured that he’d take his van and leave the moment Steve parked the car in your driveway. 

A part of you wants to say something but the other part doesn’t. You don’t want to give him the silent treatment back, you are just scared of his explanation. 

On the way home, you kept trying to figure out what made him so angry. 

Did he know about the kiss? Did Robin tell him? Is he upset about that?

Even if he knows, he can’t be upset about it – even when you think about what Nancy said to you, it still makes no sense. Why would he be upset? You aren’t together. You are not his girlfriend. 

Then again, it doesn’t explain your guilty feeling either. Just like you aren’t his, he isn’t yours. You have no reason to feel so guilty about kissing Steve – you can kiss whoever you want. 

Besides, you went on a date with Ray and even kissed him before he turned into a major douchebag – Eddie never got upset about the fact that you wanted to go on a date. So he can’t be upset about this either, right?

It has to be something else. 

Is he sick of you?

Did he finally realize that you aren’t worth his time?

Did he have a sudden change of heart just like Steve did when he went from loving boyfriend to awful boyfriend overnight?

Did your radio silence piss him off that much?

He is still standing by the doorway. 

You can’t help but roll your eyes at him and of course, it doesn’t go unnoticed by him. You still don’t say anything though, too afraid to make things worse. 

The tugging in your chest gets even worse, if that is even possible. 

“What’s wrong, dolly?” 

All appetite is lost the moment you hear the mocking in his voice. You still blame your emotions on your period but deep down, you know that it’s not that. 

You feel the coil in your throat, the hollow feeling in your stomach and the sickness in your chest. You don’t know whether you want to throw up or break into tears. 

You can’t take this, not from him. 

His words weren’t even bad or offending in any way but to hear the tone in his voice, to receive the cold shoulder from someone who you wouldn’t hesitate to give your everything to, makes you feel like you’re taken back to Halloween – where it all fell apart.

“Did you have fun last night?” 

His question makes you frown. For the first time, you look at Eddie with a glare. 

“I did.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he scoffs and looks away. 

What the hell?

Chrissy and Robin walk into the room, both looking a little tense. 

“Uh, pizza is ordered,” Chrissy says awkwardly. 

She notices your heavy breathing and the way you are blinking quickly. The way you keep glancing at Eddie who refuses to look at you. 

Steve comes back into the room with a few cans of coke, he places them on the small table. Steve’s presence seems to anger Eddie even further and Chrissy is starting to get annoyed by the attitude that spawned out of nowhere. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Chrissy asks you. 

Eddie is not looking at you. He isn’t even glancing at you. He doesn’t care. Why doesn’t he care anymore? What happened? 

Your eyes burn. You can’t sit here any longer, you get up and walk away. 

“Hey, do you not want to eat your food?” Steve asks, pointing to the takeout on the table. 

“Not hungry,” you mumble. 

“But, you haven’t eaten all day!”

Suddenly, Eddie feels even worse than he did before. He let his anger control him, all fucking day. 

Steve sees your trembling lip and the tears in your eyes when you look back for a split second before you brush past Eddie and disappear into the hallway. 

Chrissy calls out for you, jumping up from the couch, she runs after you, bumping into Eddie on purpose with a death glare. 

He looks down with a sigh. 

Steve has had enough of his behavior. He shakes his head in disbelief before he walks over to him, startling Eddie by grabbing his shoulder roughly, pushing him forward. 

“What the fuck, dude?” Eddie snaps at him, trying to push Steve’s hands off of him but the latter has a strong grip on him and he pushes him towards the entrance, ripping the door open, he pushes him out. 

For a moment, Eddie thinks that he’s getting kicked out. 

Robin jumps up, looking panicked as she watches them both leaving the house. She follows behind, opening the door that Steve just slammed shut. 

“What the hell is your problem?” Eddie asks, pushing Steve’s hands off with force.

“What’s my problem?” Steve chuckles in disbelief, pointing to himself. 

Eddie scoffs and looks away. 

“Get your fucking jealousy in check before you keep hurting her!” Steve yells over the harsh rain that is falling. 

“She is not – I-I’m not..”

“Yes, you fucking are. You were fine before the movie, so I’m guessing you –” he points at Robin, who breaks eye contact right away and slumps, “told him something and I have a pretty fucking good idea of what it is!”

Eddie’s shoulders slump, he looks down, his eyes are burning. 

“It’s just–” Eddie’s words get cut short because what can he say? How can Eddie tell him he is mad because he can’t compare himself to Steve Harrington? How can he tell him that he isn’t just jealous but also hurting? How can Eddie say anything at all when he has no chance whatsoever? 

For a split second, Steve is able to see through Eddie, the look in his eyes gives it all away. 

“Eddie,” he sighs, hurting himself with what he is about to say. He could lie to him, he could leave it all like this, be your knight in shining armor and pick you up after today but he won’t use Eddie’s insecurities and your vulnerability to weasel his way back into your heart. 

Steve looks up, taking a deep breath. 

“She pushed me away when I kissed her and I think we all know why.” 

Eddie’s eyes widen. 

“Now get your ass up there and fix it,” Steve says angrily. 

A million questions run through Eddie’s mind but now is not the time to ask them. Steve won’t take no for an answer. He simply nods before he walks back into the house. 

Robin crosses her arms over her chest, she is impressed by Steve. She’s a little surprised, she expected a fight to break out, she didn’t expect this to be cut… so short.

“Good job, Dingus.” 

He rolls his eyes at her, “let’s get inside.”

Chrissy is standing in front of the bathroom door, leaning against it as she keeps trying to convince you to come out. 

“Please, y/n,” she sighs, softly. 

Eddie eyes the cheerleader warily, for someone with such a kind face, she sure gave him the kind of death glare that even intimidated him. 

He takes a deep breath. 

“Can I try?”

She turns around at the sound of his voice, snapping her head up with a frown. Her brows knit together, her mouth twists and she rolls her eyes but steps away from the door nonetheless. 

“Yeah,” she mumbles, “don’t mess it up, Munson.”

That is a threat. Yeah, with the look on her face, it definitely is a threat. 

He really messed up. 

He knocks on the door softly, closing his eyes as he tries to calm his breathing. 

“Sweetheart,” he speaks with a much gentler voice than before, “can we talk?”

Silence. 

“Please?”

He opens his eyes when the faint click of the lock sounds through the hallway. He grabs the doorknob and twists it, he opens the door and steps inside. You are sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wiping away the tears that keep rolling down your cheeks – because of him. 

But why? Why would you cry over him? 

You look up at him with glossy eyes and you rise to your feet. 

“D-Do you hate me Eddie?” 

His eyes widen and he shakes his head quickly.

Eddie doesn’t even hesitate, he immediately pulls you into a tight hug. His own heart breaks, not once in his life did he think he would hurt you but, here he was, causing you pain because of his own selfishness.

He can feel you clinging to him, your arms are wrapped tightly around him, your tears are seeping through his shirt but he doesn’t mind. 

“No baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being stupid,” he sighs, not even noticing the nickname that rolled off his tongue so naturally. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Eddie.”

The trembling in your voice and the sadness makes his heart hurt even more. 

Not once in his life was anyone ever scared to lose him, yet, here you are, the girl that he loves, scared to lose him. You could have anyone, you could have Steve but you are scared to lose him. 

Whether it’s platonically or not – you are scared to lose him and that has to mean something. 

“You won’t lose me, I promise, you won’t,” he whispers and kisses the top of your head. “I’m so sorry – fuck,” he blinks his own tears away, hating himself for what he did. “I’m such an asshole.”

You only hug him tighter in response. 

“No, you’re not,” you mumble, “just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t. I promise, I won’t.”

“I’m so–”

“Stop apologizing. Just hold me,” you mumble into his chest, “we can talk later.”

“Okay,” he whispers, hugging you even tighter. 

This is what you need. To be held and comforted by him. 

You lean your chin on his chest and look up at him, “will you stay with me tonight?” 

For some reason, your question has him stunned.

You have had sleepovers before, many sleepovers in fact. But, something feels different. He doesn’t know what it is but something has shifted. 

Something has shifted between the two of you after last night, he felt it earlier already and he feels it now as well.

His heart thumps wildly in his chest and he’s sure that you can feel it because he can feel yours.

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you.”

-

tagging mutuals

@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @corrodedseraphine @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @trashmouth-richie @sherrylyn628 @nemesis729 @succubusmunson @chrissymjstan @somethingvicked

[ham-st4r]

bby pls it’s a crime to put “trash” and any of ur fics in the same sentence 😞💗 i finally had time to read it andddd ‼️‼️ honest feelings it was intriguing and omg i felt so bad for yn cuz hee own family was the one hurting her the most her mom was a poor excuse of a human. a waste of resources in the world 👹 and like wtf how could u look at hee and be like “meh imma js use him and then leave” I WOULD SLAP MYSELF OKAY? like what’s wrong with the mom 🫥

the whoep storyline was like soooo good aaaaaa they things they did behind the mom’s heehhehehe so hot. but when hee “broke it off” omgg my heart broke for them. not them both hiding the fact that they were hurting sigh the angst hit hard BUT IT WAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT CUZ WE GOT TO SEE JEALOUS STEPDADDY HEE AHAHAHHA he’s so possessive i love like imagine being called “my princess” “my girl” and he fucking claimed her pussy and her whole being essentially ‼️ (toxic behavior for irl men but it’s hee soooo we can turn a blind eye heheheh) and i loveeee how u made yn pretend like that disgusting bully was actually her bf js to make hee jealous ehehehhehhe they’re so silly i love them

however…there were some parts i feel like u could’ve elaborated or written more? BUT THATS JS CUZ I WANT TO READ MORE OF UR AMAZING WRITING 😣🫶🏻

oh and also one last thing (sorry) when hee said he had cameras all over the house so that they have evidence of the abuse and stuff 👀 so…he basically also has footage of yn and him fucking…all over the house…in all sorts of positions 👀 AAAAAAAA I SQUEALED IDEK IF THATS TRUE BUT IF IT IS IDK THATS KINDA HOT

Ok i’m done for now i js wanted to express how much i liked it 😞🫶🏻‼️💗

ily muah pls take care of urself 💞

Why do I lowkey like the mom tho? Lmao 😂 I mean she’s a bitch of course but the way she treated hee was like ?? I think I went overboard 😭 especially with the whole “you’re not her real dad” her to toxicity was off the charts

But then hee is kinda stupid for staying with her for so long but the poor man was so in love and just wanted his little family to stay together even if she was treating him like less than trash and giving him zero attention 😞

And same I had to take out so many parts cause the dots just weren’t connecting I still think I could have done a bit more of a backstory but by the time I tried I was too far into the story so I just had to go with it and do the best I could

The first sex scene was so so different from the initial one but I think the one I used was better

That being said though y/n has been through the mud ☹️ and the part where hee broke things off that’s what I wanted to go into more detail about but i couldn’t word it better to save my life (real) and I still can’t even describe it 😐

But overall I’m glad everyone seemed to enjoy it I’m just a little bit disappointed with this one 🫤

Thanks for the feedback I really do appreciate it you’re one of a kind 💙 hope you have a good day today!!!!

Btw yes them fucking is on camera too 🫣

[resthomeforrobots]

i need to go to sleep but i keep thinking Sad Sawyer Thoughts

[taetaespeaches]

you did it! you got me upset with hobi,

DO NOT DISRESPECT MY BBY GIRL PETAL EVER AGAIN OK SIR HOSEOK? THANKS

duuuuude, one thing is the lies, another thing is wHY the liesss, BUT! does he have any idea what we felt the whole time after the conversation with peaches until he came home??

i swear that drabble got me some real flashbacks, why are men like thisssss,

it's the middle of the night and i want to rant about my ex, everytime i remember this i go feral,

ONCE UPON A TIME my ex and i were searching for a movie on his laptop, idek how we ended up on fb and i wanted to search for something there so i went to the little fb search bar and when i clicked it a list of his last searches was displayed and the first line was some girl's profile, and i swear i'm not the jealous type.. not in a toxic exaggerated way, i'm pretty chill and i hate confrontation so i don't like to make a big deal out of things, specially when i don't know the whole story

still, like a reflex, my innocent and curious ass asked "who is she?" i didn't even really care tbh it was whatever, BUT you know what he said?... he said NOTHING, he didn't answer me, Liv!

HE OPTED TO IGNORE THE QUESTION, there was no way in hell he didn't hear me, it was dead silence at night, so i stayed calm and waited a couple seconds but he just kept scrolling...

wtf ??

he literally ignored me and then "let's go downstairs and watch netflix on the living room" he said and im like "fine"... shocked

man... i was fuming, i was MAD, sad and making up the worst scenarios in my head... OBVIOUSLY!

like half hour went by and i was just sitting there while he was trying to make conversation but i was gonna make him suffer just like i was,

until he was like "stooop..." very whiny and dumBly trying to hug me, HAHA stay down bitch!

so i went like "stop what?", so cold lmao

then he started explaining that she was just some girl he remembered from church that has his same birthday or something so he looked her up, so stupid

so i went "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAID THATTTT!!!!!!"

God! i wanted to slap him so hard, honestly, he was like "I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA, MY MIND WENT BLANK, I DON'T KNOW"

and im like "YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I WAS THINKING THIS WHOLE TIME, YOU IDIOT????"

of course he started beggin for forgiveness and i sent him to the store to bring me snacks

this is a stupid story bc the whole thing was idiotic and the more i thinkg about it someone else probably wouldn't've believe him but i did bc i know him

he's still my friend and i love him with all my heart but sometimes he's just so stupid!! like... his explanation actually made sense for him!

men...

not comparing my ex to hobi, LOL

but just like... petal, my sweetheart... -i FEEL YOU, those minutes/hours must've been HELL and im sorry but yes... we need time... and snacks

that don't mean we love you any less but the hurting is a bitch and we need to let her have a process

my rant ends here👌🏻

im ready for more angst, liv, keep them coming, i love uuu

Omg Lydia is coming in SWINGING for Petal!!! As you should! Hobi, you didn't mean to hurt your girl but you did :( No but exactly, like even though it was a misunderstanding LITERALLY WHAT ELSE WAS PETAL SUPPOSED TO THINK DURING THAT TIME???? Of course her brain went straight to "he's cheating on me" like ?!

Oh gosh your story about your ex :/ dude. just communicate that from the start!! Like honestly there are some toxic jealous people out there and he was so lucky that you just have a normal, natural amount of jealousy bc someone else would have blown up at him in that moment. Just be honest with your partners!!! Why don't men understand this?! I'm sorry you had to have that awful sick feeling even for a little bit :(

Lol I will definitely keep the angst coming soon! Gotta give Peaches her angsty moments <3

[ohhelga]

are you ready? okay: 💜💛💗💪🔊👏👑💚(obviously because you're scottish and i know you guys are hella gorgeous and hella talented, it's really unfair - but it's a trade-off for your fantastic talent so i endure it. xoxo)

i want to make sure you’re happy;  i just think you’re cute!; i want to give you a hug!; id fight someone if they talked shit about you; im really glad i started following you!; everything you say is great wtf…; your blog aesthetic is lovely!; im a little jealous of you 

(i am jack harkness, diving at you, aka the doctor)

OKAY FIRST OF ALL, shuddup with the lil green heart okay.

SECOND OF ALL, I’m glad we made it through the teen wolf days and now we’re here lmao.

You are wonderfully sarcastic and funny and your talent knows no bounds. Idek how we started following each other in the first place but I’m glad we did.

YA CUTE LORD OF ANGST

ask game: send me emojis

[bthump]

what are the things you like and dislike about the '97 anime and the films?

ty for asking, i’m just gonna write a few long lists lol

97 anime likes:

the animation, including the like, yk the more detailed stills they pan over in place of action or to punctuate important moments, i love it

the gorgeous backgrounds

most of the colour choices. red eclipse, femto’s blue eyes, casca’s skintone, griffith’s mauve clothes, etc.

how close it is to the manga. like, it’s a solid adaption just by virtue of making very few changes.

so like, most of it really, because i like the manga

special mention to the entire lead up to the eclipse from griffith’s reality break to the sacrifice tho, because i think that was all pretty damn perfect. it’s the most important scene and they did it right.

actually also shout out to casca’s flashback to griffith and the dead kid, gennon, the river scene, all that. another difficult v emotional sequence that they nailed imo.

griffith thinking about how he “loves” guts during the monologue

skipped most of the griffith/charlotte sex scene iirc which i approve of

the glimpse of black swordsman guts in ep 1. it’s not perfect but it’s way better than the ovas starting w/ 15 yr old guts

the opening and closing themes. fucking love both songs ngl

also the opening monologue. never get tired of hearing it

the score

the portrayal of griffith was honestly pretty solid imo. i have very few issues there. and lbr that’s important lol

97 anime dislikes:

not a big fan of griffith or guts’ character designs.

just about everything that isn’t identical to the manga is a change for the worse

turned griffith’s scratch marks into that giant unexplained scar

adding extra scenes where casca is secretly impressed with guts’ skills in battle in an attempt to build up their relationship better, which instead just made casca look unfair for still being a dick to him for 3 years and made guts stupidly gary stu-ish

obviously the straightforwardly romantic portrayal of guts and casca’s relationship

through several seemingly minor changes (eg, skipping guts’ night of self-doubt after he leaves, giving guts’ stay with godo its own half-episode, making guts inviting casca along super romantic rather than the incredibly casual and assholish way he does it in the manga, etc) it makes Guts’ dream seem legitimately noble and worthwhile, with none of the like… implicit critique the manga has. like honestly it completely fucks up what i consider one of the central themes of the story lol

the pre eclipse stuff also fails to sell guts’ sense of regret - through things like playing guts’ theme while judeau is telling guts to leave, not repeating guts’ statement of regret after casca tells him to leave again, the tone remains consistently in favour of guts’ dream. wrong and bad.

like it really reads like the suggested tragedy is that guts doesn’t get the chance to ditch griffith with judeau and take off with casca and the raiders lol

also fucks it up by never directly mentioning guts’ csa trauma

also fucks it up by losing guts’ self-destructive single-minded urge to fight monsters that we saw thru the wyald stuff. i’m not gonna say that losing wyald was a bad decision, but they should’ve at least moved erika suggesting that guts just wants to fight zodd again to the fucking waterfall scene in question, which they portrayed completely sans zodd discussion, completely sans implication of the self-destructiveness of guts’ dream

like in the manga he nearly gets killed by the falling logs and just laughs it off like a dumbass while erika is concerned and suggests that guts is driven by something irrational and not actually a ~noble~ dream, ie, wanting to fight zodd again (ie, going deeper, his csa trauma), while in the anime we get a 2nd scene where he successfully slices through the logs as a super basic symbol of growth and a narrative pat on guts’ back that shouldn’t be there!

honestly just fucking everything about the portrayal of guts’ dream lol it just takes it at face value in a way the manga consistently never did and always undermined and critiqued, and it bugs the hell out of me.

guts is just drawn in a way that makes him look angry way too often and he often feels ooc to me bc of it. like he lacks a lot of the warmth he has in the manga imo

showing that griffith is awake when guts says “i’ll stay too” even tho in the manga those words are placed over a panel of him asleep for a reason like, ffs

lots of other random nitpicky details that only i give a fuck about because my opinions and feelings about the story are too strong lol. like not showing griffith’s face when he asks if guts thinks he’s cruel

oh huge one: moving the scene where the torturer rips off griffith’s behelit from about a day after he was imprisoned to right before his rescue. completely trivializes griffith’s torture because it still looks like he’s been in there for a day at most

why on earth did it end where it ended????????????? who’s bright idea was that? the perfect ending is skull knight riding tf out with guts and casca and femto not killing them, but then they also cut out skull knight’s first appearance so idfk man.

oh some downplaying of griffguts, like i can’t complain too much about this because it was still p homoerotic, but things like omitting guts assuming griffith wants to fuck him right before their first duel. boo.

ultimately at the end of the day as much as i do genuinely like the anime, it’s not telling quite the same story the manga was - the story it’s telling is more boring and basic. but because it sticks so close to the manga the good story still shines through? it just means there’s inconsistent tone choices and stuff, like the aforementioned grievances.

it’s like, they kept casca’s diatribe at guts line for line while she’s screaming that griffith needed him and a man can’t live on dreams alone, but they don’t extend that train of thought to guts going off to pursue his dream, while the manga does.

anyway despite that giant list of dislikes i still think the anime is pretty fantastic overall. i just also like, blame it for a lot of wrong fandom takes lol.

movie likes:

character designs! honestly imo everyone looked pretty great.

they played up the homoeroticism and i appreciate that

illustrating griffith being torn between guts and his dream through that lovely moment when he catches guts when he nearly falls off the stairs right before he catches charlotte, and in a more romantically suggestive way

the whole scene where griffith shows up at charlotte’s window thoroughly improved on the manga, so hats off there. loved how completely out of it he was to the point where he barely realized where he was and immediately turned to leave when charlotte was like ‘woah dude wtf,’ love that charlotte was the one to ask him to stay and then physically move his hand back to her tit, love how emphatically griffith was thinking about guts during that sex scene, etc. like it’s still not perfect, but it is a vast improvement.

griffith showing up in person after the hundred man fight was a nice touch

it was cool that they got a lot of the same english vas from the anime dub back, and they all did a gr8 job. like it’s a pretty good dub imo.

i liked that they moved ‘the crystalization of your last tear shed’ to after guts’ post-eclipse breakdown

compared to the anime at least gtsca was more low-key and chill rather than dramatically romantic. still don’t want it there, and still not as… unromantic as the manga, but i’ll take what i can get

the animation during griffith’s transformation into femto, yk that whole sequence, was cool

slan’s english voice was super sexy

ummmmm i feel like they conveyed the whole dreams are stupid theme, and guts’ decision to leave being a mistake, better than the anime? like i got the sense that the ova ppl recognized that was a theme, at least. i’d have to watch them again to really be sure of that tho

movie dislikes:

GRIFFITH’S. NARRATIVE.

like holy fuck they completely destroyed his character lmao

i cannot believe

no backstory! no tombstone of flame! no ‘do you think i’m cruel?’ THAT WAS THE REASON HE MADE THE SACRIFICE FFS HOW DO YOU SKIP IT????

no dead kid angst, gennon only in vague implication, no self harm - oh no wait we saw self inflicted scratches, they were just completely contextless and meaningless to the point where we could assume charlotte’s nails made them

no torture chamber monologue

no guts monologue in the tavern either for that matter

no rooftop scene

again barely the implication of guts’ childhood trauma, both the sexual abuse and the general parental abuse. one vague flashbacky nightmare doesn’t cut it, it’s the cornerstone of the story

like i get it, it’s a movie trilogy, you have to cut some things, but goddamn, cut out gtsca. trim the hundred man fight. add 20 minutes to the first ova and take the insanely long rape scene out of the third. trim down the whole eclipse sequence. don’t cut out like… the story. like they cut out SO MANY emotionally relevant scenes and kept so many much less relevant scenes, idek.

and like let’s be real here, they turned griffith from an immensely interesting and complex character into a 1 dimensional dude who is torn between a vaguely evil ambition and being in vaguely evil love with guts, just for the sake of streamlining the least interesting aspects of the story

they don’t even try to pretend otherwise lol, look at his fucking hilarious evil smile here

also while i’m looking at it, in general i think they failed at the whole eclipse sequence. looks, lighting, colour, build up of tension… there are a few minor improvements here and there (eg casca’s point of view shot of femto, femto telekinesising guts back a la the black swordsman arc which emphasizes his failure to act when he escapes), but overall it doesn’t work for me at all. like imo the anime has the exact same highs and lows as the manga, but while the ova avoids some lows it never reaches those highs.

they also had griffith overhear guts saying he wants to stay. i really don’t get why this happened twice lol, like… ok his face is kind of shadowed here but he’s still very clearly asleep? this is an important detail, guts’ interrupted words are even on that very panel, so why would you go out of your way to show that he’s awake and listening at that point.

the pacing sucked. 3rd movie was too long, 1st was too short, and they skipped waaaaaay too many significant scenes that should’ve been there as emotional beats

honestly the movies are pretty, they’re nicely fanservicey in ways, they capture some good subtleties and nuances at times, but they’re a husk of the story

oh did i mention the music during the eclipse rape? incredible.

also i am actually generally positive about the movies too despite what it seems like here lmao. i’ve watched them all like, 3 or more times and i find them v enjoyable.

i just have a way easier time listing nitpicky flaws than positives honestly. the flaws stand out to me, the virtues pass me by because i’m just enjoying them and not dwelling on them

and lbr here at the end of the day no adaption will ever really satisfy me unless i somehow find several million dollars lying around and make my own lol. and that would probably be a flop anyway.

[pachinkowashere]

#I'mNotChangingTheirStoryI'mNotChangingTheirStoryI'mNot--

Doitdoitdoitdoitdoit- *shot*

OK LOL DON'T DO THAT. Actually, I say that but I honestly love this idea a lot and it'd make Keith's reaction to Pico's sudden break up with him even more heartbreaking in retrospect.

After all, the friend you thought was dead this entire time suddenly shows up alive again after all of these years. Pico not knowing him can easily be handwaved as the ginger not having kept up with his old childhood friend's life (partly because he was more focused on making sure his family was okay and somewhat because he might've not trusted himself to not try to reconnect with his old friend perhaps? Who knows! You decide~!); Keith most likely hadn't had his transition back then so he still looked like a girl and went by his old name so makes sense Pico wouldn't recognize him. As for Keith not bringing it up, perhaps he wasn't fully sure this cranky ginger was the same friend he had known all those years ago. It'd make sense he'd refrain from informing Pico until he was absolutely certain.

Also this scenario would give more pain to Otis because in this verse Keith and his family would've kept in touch with Pico's family right? True there might be some unintentional distancing from those on the ginger's side but I imagine that's more in response to all of the shit that happened. ANYWAY back to Otis, imagine his reaction if Keith were to call him up soon after his first encounter with Pico to inform him. Perhaps Otis would confirm albeit not outright that perhaps it IS Pico (because let's be honest he wouldn't have the heart to fully lie to Keith there so make sense he'd hint at it). Maybe this bit doesn't happen but still something to think about! After all, just imagine the extra douse of angst here~

Oooooh. Consider Pico's reaction when he learns who Keith is too! I don't know if Keith will reveal who he is at some point or if he refrains for whatever reason (perhaps some part of him is worried about being accepted?? Maybe he still was hesitant for some reason??? IDEK). Since Pico later becomes convince Keith is a figment of his messed-up mind, it's very possible he would end up believing Keith isn't his old childhood friend. I can see him faltering for a moment, wanting to believe Keith is actually really and perhaps even almost giving into that hopeful side, only to shove it aside because of those stated reasons you gave before on why the breakup even happened.

Now imagine him, unlike before, mentioning a bit of Keith to Darnell and Nene, telling them about this supposed illusion of their old pal. Now imagine Darnell's and Nene's reactions later upon learning that the supposed illusion wasn't actually some figment of Pico's messed-up mind but ACTUALLY REAL. Now, not to say they wouldn't be understanding, but let's be real a part of them would still be like "Pico wtf".

Also please consider Grammy's reaction to seeing Pico again after he got reconciled with Keith and got together with him and Amelia. I dunno about you but I can't unsee her being accepting of him but also giving him a good smack with a slipper. Okay that last bit is probably ooc but wanted to mention because it was stuck in my head lmao

ANYWAY WOW THIS GOT VERY LONG LOL. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

As much as I'd love you to make this a part of their canon, I know you've already established quite a bit of stuff here already and I know all too well how frustrating it can be to go back to change stuff up. So don't worry about it okay? You can just make this like a one-shot thing or just something fun to ramble and imagine about.

I would love to make this an official thing, but I feel like I would have to change just enough stuff that it'd bug me, which friggin sucks. I also don't know if Keith would want to be with Pico again if this was canon, because to lose him a SECOND time would hurt. A bad part of his brain might make him believe that Pico was hiding from him with ill intention or something, so to have Pico yell and hold a gun to him that he's some fake illusion? That'll hurt

"Twice.. twice you're leaving me, and it doesn't make any sense!"

It's a great backstory, but it might have to be saved for another person's version of BF and Pico

[m1ckeyb3rry]

OK CATCHUP TIME bro I fr thought you meant a HIATUS LMAOO GLAD YOURE BACK THO!!!!!! I fr was wondering if you’d be back for s2 maybe I was just primed by the usual tumblr hiatus sessions LOL

Tumblr the ultimate opp bruhhhhh someone come fix this site

ISAAC NEWTON AHAHAISHABAB bro what kind of poster is that…it’s FUNNY but aren’t you trying to encourage your students LMAOO??? It’s most definitely oaeu vibes coded

FR that’s the description I was looking for like he’s emo but that’s it. No other personality flavor. No you’re so real for megumi sae has no wit no sass it’s just flat emo and insults his insults aren’t even creative

BRUH I SAW THAT AND WENT ?????? Im ngl that ending felt like a whole load of nothing like huh??????? Idek what to say atp like yes gege give us NOTHING??? Whatever wars over ig truly the end of an era can’t wait to get my sanity back

SHAHSSH LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK sometimes I scroll through a tag and see a completely different character from a completely different fandom like WHAT are YOU doing HERE??

No because I usually look on the usual site likes bulbapedia or serebii but I didn’t find anything at first glance so I scrolled a bit to find something that was more formatted for fast looking ig that was my first mistake

Wait actually???? Wtf…ok wait BAROU how did I not think of that LMFAO anti-ginger campaign so real (I also don’t like the carrot juice aesthetic dw) but OMG can’t wait to see the manifestation of that Reo fic

LMAOOO real almost forgot that I didn’t even recognize some of those pokemon (Kunigami getting slandered and catching strays real wc Kunigami ESPECIALLY gives me scovillain vibes)

OOOOOOH wait the summoning concept slaps I’ve always found it really interesting but I haven’t read anything that uses that trope in awhile I’m very intrigued

Too real I think we have the same brain I LOVE CJILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS had to resist from adding fairy to mine because Wb already has that going on but yeah that’s also why I’ve always preferred rivals instead of enemies like something about the “extreme” of enemies usually ends up in a lot of wacky and cliche things that I don’t specifically enjoy

LMAOOOOO WAKT I’m excited and scared (only because of the swerve factor) KARASU MEDDLING WOULD BE SOOOO GOOD also wait on that note if you did feel like childhood friends would help you feel free to add it idm either way lowk I had some vague ideas about miscommunication but nothing concrete either LMAO I mean my first thought is always angst relating to his traumatic upbringing but that’s kinda a given…maybe his differing personalities (when he’s with friends vs parents) idk I’ll leave this in your capable hands and leave it vague so you can work your magic….i trust you’ll cook!! (No pressure though obv we will NOT be channeling Hiori parent energy) karasu fr about to come save hioris ass though HAHA

OOOOOOH I’m living for it I can sense a real work of art brewing here

AIKULATIONS anything with aikulations is gonna slap I can just feel those vibes

LMAOOOO dumbass Karasu we love to see it trip down memory lane to fwtkac vibes

“Sae number 2” has me crying (still not getting over the fact that there’s 3) LMAO sae would fit that trope perfectly like with the way he’s got his manager sweating HAHA

The love triangle is actually so exciting it’s been awhile since I’ve read a good one that combo of characters too is also such a unique choice many possibilities

The Isagi one is fr so isagi it’s hilarious but OOOH MURDER MYSTERY I see the vision

Sae number 3…ok wait Spanish tutor that’s kinda cute I also think when done well childhood friends with Rin has a lot of potential too excited to see what you cook

WAIT IM ON MY KNEES PLEASE USE THE SCATTERBUG IDEA LMFAOOAOOOOOOO especially with it being from Tullia I’m crying I’m so invested in the aiku Niko dynamic now (wait speaking of what vivillon variant do you think he’d get….lowk idr the mechanics of how you get different ones I just know they exist)

CRYING its kinda giving fwtkac once again this is so funny yuki is about to have a really good sense of smell at this rate if Karasu blows his eardrums out

RANDOMLY PASS AWAY (NOT THE HOLLYHOCK REF) he would just do a ninja despawn move and never come back

I forgot he liked owls I was fr like “bro what sparked you to think of this” now I see it HAHAHA wait you should use this for the Rin fic for the event it’s actually perfect (wait this would also be really funny in ref to the sae spanish teacher fic but sae likes seagulls)

NOOOOO omg hope your wrist gets better soon!!! Wait that’s actually crazy bro writing a whole PhD thesis paper in 36 hours or something and THE EYE omg manifesting a very speedy recovery!!!!

NAGI HATING MUTUAL SHAHSHSH but that’s so funny imagine no one ever caught it until pursuits full debut

REST AND RECHARGE TIME!!!! Yes omg a long kdrama binge session is in order! I think the most recent one I watched was “marry my husband” that was actually CRAZY although if you’re looking to not get mad maybe choose a different one because I was getting invested into that drama

SHSHSHS no because I kept debating how I should’ve perceived the way you worded it but the “come back stronger” made me think you were gonna go through a journey first not a 36 hour boot camp LMAOOO welcome back though HAHAHA I originally read it as “oh shit I have more work than I thought this is now going from 36 hours to indefinite” oops

- Karasu anon

SLDKJFHSK no i could not do a hiatus i fear…like yeah individual stories of mine go on hiatus all of the time because i start them and then don’t feel like writing until i randomly get motivation months later but me going on hiatus from being online is like antithetical to my character i NEED my phone time talking with my online friends hehe it was like actually terrible when i was gone for two and a half days i couldn’t even make it through the full 36 hours 😭 and omg you’re so right i could never be gone when bllk season2 is on the way!! just barely a week until it’s out AHH

HELPPP no he was such a silly teacher he did not gaf…i took calc 2 my senior year of high school and bro would make fun of us like i remember one time someone asked him what math he took in high school and he was like “i never took calculus in high school because i wasn’t a nerd like all of you” LMAOOO it sounds mean but he was really chill and funny (plus he was a really good teacher too) so i loved him…my friends and i made jjk ocs of some of our teachers (i wish i had a reason but it truly was that we had the free time) and i think his was my favorite he even features in the one megumi story i never talk about online because it’s so dependent on the high school teacher jjk oc lore that i could never post it but it’s SO special and dear to me even though i’m not into jjk much anymore

SAE A LOAF OF WHITE BREAD HAHAHA no because i would defend him but even giving him personality in oaeu made him feel like he was leaning ooc?? like wdym he makes a couple of sassy jokes and suddenly he’s not even himself?? that’s just not a character i fw i fear…yeah the jjk ending was. well. it was something!! idk like i said i wasn’t super impressed at all honestly i’m probably not going to engage with much jjk content for a while just because the ending was so…yk. anyways i saw a really interesting video on tik tok (during my self imposed isolation so sadly i didn’t save the link) that was talking about how animanga tends to rely on the visuals aspect of the storytelling which allows authors to get away with much more simplistic worldbuilding that doesn’t get explained as thoroughly and this also seeps into the plot/characters as well and i really think that that’s something that impacted jjk — there were definitely points where there was more flash over substance (in my opinion) and the magic system is definitely unique and well thought out in some ways but also unnecessarily convoluted in others?? it’s a story that would not at all hold up as a novel which again different medium of storytelling but if key elements of the plot/world like cursed techniques such as hollow purple fall apart when you cannot physically show them to the audience (just think about if you had to read gojo explaining his technique and then he just uses it on paper SKLJFHS it’s so anticlimactic lowkey) then that’s a marker that more groundwork needs to be done 😭 people who glaze relatively basic shounens like jjk for being peak writing and having amazing character dynamics etc etc (in my opinion and this is controversial hence why i’m hiding it in our chats) need to go read like…actual books (or even light novels) because if you think that gojo and geto is the most interesting dynamic conceivable then i fear you are cooked because number one craziest mira take they are NOT that special/compelling/appealing to me like i can see why people might like them but they are so normal and average to me in terms of writing 😰 READ ORV OR SMTH whatever kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk have going on is 10x more fascinating (superior white x black duo sorry not sorry)

BROOO EVERYTIME I SEE ONE OF THOSE PARAGRAPHS I CRASH OUT no because like i said it’s always such a random blend too like wdym sukuna and nagi are both in the “they would definitely cheat on you” category?? HELLO??? first of all WHAT do those two characters have in common and second of all NO THEY WOULD NOT?? ugh the mischaracterization is insane fr bro idk i was “off” of tumblr for like. two days. and now my dash is just going crazy (not about me it’s just like everyone is going through it atm for some reason which means a lot of negativity and complaining and whatnot from others) so i have a lot of rage in my heart for tumblr users rn SDLJFHSDK (not really but also like all i’m saying is if anyone ever tries to drag me into some dumbass conflict on here i’m fr just going to block them i don’t have time to beef w 14 year olds when i have characters to write fics about and actually enjoyable people [like you] to talk to)

NO WAIT WE NEED TO EXPAND ON THE BAROU VISION just like first of all i can so easily imagine him in a royal guard uniform holding a sword and being all stern but immediately caving as SOON as you bat your eyelashes at him and letting you get away with things like sneaking out of the palace as long as you take him to look after you but he starts falling in love with you when he realizes you’re not as stuck up as the rest of the royals (yes i did steal this from the megumi fic what about it…) imagine we get aikulations in here via aiku also being a royal guard to like. fucking sae or smth…omg wait yeah imagine you were sent to marry sae and barou’s your guard and aiku’s sae’s guard so he occasionally pulls up, says smth sassy/wise/meaningful/borderline insulting and then he just leaves (bonus points if niko’s his squire) AHHHH omg hold on imagine we throw in a little tullia and aiku subplot while we’re at it…i would say bring back elakshi but she’s deadass public enemy number one i’ve gotten so many comments on wattpad hating on her to the point that i’m abt to delete my work off of wattpad and be like “sorry but you all suck”…anyways so instead of elakshi we could have a may ducat comeback i suppose 🤔 if i didn’t have a bazillion things to be doing and a royal au following almost exactly the same plot for jjk already (which lowkey idk if i’ll ever finish given my motivation for jjk rn) i’d fr be attending to this but alas. pursuit and my requests are taking precedence rn

i def think the summoning concept is NOT what the requester had in mind but ykw i’m not basic so we’re going to do smth a little different hehe and honestly one day i want to write an enemies to lovers but to do it PROPERLY if that makes sense…like miraverse enemies to lovers where it’s not just stereotypical cold rude black haired male lead x idiot dumbass “perfect” badass female lead…however sae itoshi is NOT the one i would do that for (even though i’m fr in an enemies to lovers with him irl i think) i’m trying to imagine who in bllk i’d give that honor to 🧐 not nagi he has no enemies he doesn’t care enough…karasu’s too much of a lover at heart he fits rivals perfectly but true enemies no…barou’s the same he’s just a simp at heart despite his gruff exterior…otoya and yukimiya are too chill to ever give antagonistic vibes…kaiser and rin are too annoying and obvious for it it would end up being basic and cringy…reo is a sweetheart he can pull off angst well but not enemies…i’m stumped actually maybe just because i hate the trope HAHA

ooh vivillon colors…iirc it was just based on what country/region your ds was set to!! so like depending on where you lived irl you would get a diff vivillon but since pursuit obviously takes place in one region where the outside world has no bearing i’m going to say that it just depends on where you end up evolving scatterbug into vivillon (maybe like an evolutionary advantage thing in terms of camouflage??) i think niko’s based on vibes would be the jungle variant and tullia’s is either the meadow variant (which is like the really famous pink one) or the savanna one!!

LMAOOO yukimiya cannot escape the fwtkac menacing karasu role i think it’s so funny how in actual canon we honestly barely see him interacting with karasu (actually i cannot remember if we ever see them have even a single conversation it’s very much so tabieita + ken…bro’s fr just ken 😓) but in the miraverse he’s always pulling up and accidentally making karasu miserable by being too perfect 😭 PLSS otoya’s like “i was never even there baby i was an illusion” so hollyhock mysterious core of him

PLS i lowkey was looking through the account they’ve also made these gorgeous blue and gold rose dividers that would be PERFECT for kaiser i was going to reblog those too and be like “ok kaiser girlies come on now” and then i remembered that i actually also have to write for kaiser now…tbh i don’t usually use super embellished dividers those!! like i prefer to use plain lines and let my headers be aesthetic but lowkey maybe the move for this event will be no headers only ask response + pretty dividers because that’s less work for me SLDKJFHDS

AHHHH my wrist is feeling much better today!! i tried to write smth and my body took a screenshot so i’m giving my hand the weekend off but she’s feeling much better already and same with my eye!! i can use my contacts again on like tuesday ish so hooray for that (i actually don’t mind my glasses as much as i used to in the sense that i don’t think i look horrible with them anymore and everyone actually says i look really cute BUT they hurt behind my ears because i’m not used to wearing them for long periods of time so i cannot wait to retun to my beloved contacts and seeing how i like)

HAHAHA she’s a kaiser stan but she absolutely hates nagi it’s actually very funny to me plus i love meeting a fellow hater no matter who they hate so i love when she drops new haterism posts BUT omg agreed i can only imagine how many people would be in my inbox like “you linked the wrong master list 🧞” (<- sae itoshi emoji)

i feel like mentally and emotionally i do NOT have the space to start smth new so it’ll probably be one i’ve watched before…cloy was the first kdrama i ever watched (only last december!! i am very late to the kdrama game) so it might be time to revisit that one since i haven’t rewatched any of the ones i’ve already seen yet 😩 i also really really liked a time called you so i could def go for another watch of that one 🤩 and i can’t rewatch yet because i literally just finished it in july-ish but i watched this one on netflix with my mother about a vet that gets psychic powers and has to team up with this police officer (tbh reader and noel noa coded) and i wasn’t expecting much out of it but it ended up being really funny so i do think that’s one i’ll probably watch again when i’m bored or looking for something silly to lighten my mood

LSFJK no i’m just really dramatic it was still just a 36 hour “these are the consequences of procrastinating” grind session but i was being emo because i wanted to tap out (i didn’t though!!) fr glad to be back (although i wasn’t on tumblr as much today because i was working on a new pursuit chapter so it probably seemed like i had cut myself off again but in fact i was just working hard so i can please you 🙂‍↕️ you know what they say a win is a win or smth like that)

[professor-abeloved]

ZOINKS for the ask meme

ty mon cher amie~

ask me: FANDOM EDITION

under the cut because i ended up rambling a lot

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go

um fan related like… a fan theory? cuz ok. ok. i got this, i love theories.  i know it’s a popular theory that maxwell and/or bertrand are involved with the traitor thing and!! as much as i don’t want to believe it… i honestly think the idea has merit (and angst. let us think of the glorious angst.)

like shit i’ve been replaying trr and wtf i’ve just had these doubts in my mind like. why is drake implying that maxwell’s sketchy in chapter 2. why is maxwell so nice to mc even?? is he really that friendly? Is he just desperate? is it an act that became real??? WE BARELY TALKED IN THE INTRO CHAPTER WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY BRINGING ME TO YOUR PARADISE OF A COUNTRY, BOY

(Idek what i’m saying anymore my brain left the building sometime between 10 am and 1 pm)

O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of

what’s it gonna by shura. hmm. i initially associated this song with a ship from another fandom, aka mc/black magic from the heroes rise trilogy, but… maaaybe mc/maxwell?

because the whole “I’m on my own/You’re at the beach/Hundreds of miles away” line reminds me of that scene in the beach party where maxwell’s off on his own while mc swims with hana and drake. (let’s say that the “hundreds of miles” are a metaphorical distance ok) 

and the whole song has this whole… ambivalent, torpe kind of longing? where the singer has feelings for someone, but they don’t want to admit their feelings. it’s like they really want to be with this person, but they expect their crush to turn them down (”if you let me down, let me down slow”)

from there it’s easy to imagine maxwell having a crush on mc and not confessing because of the whole ‘sponsoring her’ thing + i believe he’s insecure and doesn’t think mc will actually reciprocate his feelings and/or choose him over liam and/or the other LIs

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

lmao the l.ord of the flies fandom. i got into an argument about how people were portraying this one character as snow white (even though canon has stated his skin to be “swarthy” or dark skinned) because of a popular artist’s depiction of him. and this artist had done that, saying it’s to “differentiate said character from the other small dark skinned boy” which in itself is racist because it’s assuming that all poc look alike

and long story short, the person i was arguing with started spreading shit in the main tags which got everyone’s attention; the fandom was divided about it since they stuck with the white-washed version of the character for so long. and then anons started bullying RPers who chose white face claims… my friends in the fandom were very divided on it, and i just left cuz it was getting toxic so yeah.

N - Your favorite fanfiction or fan author

…lol it’s also you HAHAHA it’s always such a boon to read about your ocs and their antics i love them i love the way you write it’s so poetic and beautiful without becoming purple prose

K - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom

i love you guys! i admire your creativity and talent and y’all are so interesting!! and i wish i could talk to you more without being so awkward AHHA i’m sorrrrry

S - Show us an example of your personal head canon

maxwell is pansexual, though he rarely has (romantic) crushes that last past a few days. 

[elichrysos]

tagged by: @julieandem

tagging: @formidablesana @evakshalla @dagfordag if u guys want to 

coke or pepsi: coke (katie said pepsi and im never speaking to her again)

disney or dreamworks: disney man wtf

coffee or tea: TEA

books or movies: i’m a lit student so i should probably say books 

windows or mac: that’s tough. i have a mac but i use windows on it too lmao bc they’re just better at some stuff. although os is safer i think

dc or marvel: is this like mcu vs dceu or marvel comics vs dc comics tho? doesn’t matter the answer is marvel to both bitch

xbox or playstation: i’m not a gamer so idk hah (i have a ps1 tho i used to play formula 1 on it i was horrible)

dragon age or mass effect: what

night owl or early riser: night owl anD early riser bc i hate myself

cards or chess: i know how to play uno and blackjack 

chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

vans or converse: vanS

lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: i had to google this

fluff or angst: i’m always a slut for angST

beach or forest: forest probably? idk but beach if im in cyprus bc if it’s a forest in cyprus then there’s pine trees which make me nauseous.

dogs or cats: aggressively dogs

clear skies or rain: rain

cooking or eating out: cooking (hehe eating out hehe) (im a 12 year old)

spicy food or mild food: GIMME ALL THE SPICE 

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: halloween if i celebrated it but i guess christmas bc presents and food yaknow?

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold, heat can suck my ass (this is what katie wrote and i feel like it’s appropriate)

if you could have a superpower, what would it be: mind control (also what katie wrote. again, appropriate bc fuck yes)

animation or live action: live action unless it’s disney.

paragon or renegade: im slowly realising this was made for gamers, and i am not one

baths or showers: showers but for like 50 minutes yaknow?

team cap or team ironman: stop. no. i was aggressively team cap until i watch cacw (like 100 times) stOP HURTING TONY. STOP HURTING BUCKY. JUST STOP.

fantasy or sci-fi: sci-fi owns this ass

do you have three or four favourite quotes? if so, what are they: this is vvv hard and idk so i’ll just give the first one that comes to mind

“the first rule of poetry is honest, the second is fuck you” - alice notley

also the entirety of allen ginsberg’s howl

i also fucked up the numbering. sorry.

youtube or netflix: can’t choose. nope. (youtube IS free tho)

harry potter or percy jackson: harry potter (check that url)

when you feel accomplished: being productive and getting shit done. getting good grades.

star wars or star trek: as my dad puts it “i like star wars but i understand star trek more”. 

paperback books or hardback books: this is hard. there’s connotations that come with choosing paperback bc that’s what you call shitty porn books you find at the supermarket. but as a lit student, paperback is cheaper.

horror or rom-com: literally neither oh my god both give me nightmares

to live in a world without literature or music: i have no answer to this atrocity of a question

pastel colours or dark colours: for what? for clothes? dark. for room painting? pastel. for make up? nudes. (send noodz)

tv shows or movies: tv shows bih 

city or countryside: city

if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: idek how libra describes me

if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: fuck this. no idk. 

cinema or theatre: theatre

if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: god i feel like all my favorite characters are whiny shits. (again, what katie wrote and i relate) but i guess gansey would be a good best friend or ron weasley

smiling or smirking: i can’t smirk i look like a creep so smiling

are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: im nothing. that’s it. 

playlists or your whole library on shuffle: playlists

traveling or staying at home: traveling although what i do is stay home and use that google maps view thing. i once did for the town im living in right now instead of actually going outside. (it was for actual reasons im not that sad, but it’s really funny without context)

if you could have a meal with three people, alive and dead, who would you choose: oh shit. michael jackson, audrey hepburn and malcolm x