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solarpunkani · 1 year

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So the way cities are designed is nasty and not really good for anybody. Do you have any resources or ideas on how this can actually, realistically change? I mean, we can't just tear down cities and rebuild them better. Is the way forward just adding more beneficial stuff to the existing, less-than-ideal cities, and then building the new cities with people and nature in mind?

Hey!

Yknow, I thought I had a tag for this, but either I forgot what tag it was or things just haven't come out of queue yet because I'm not seeing much on my blog. I feel like I've seen specific posts about making things more accessible--I tend to see this line of thought be referred to as Walkable Cities or Accessible Cities--but I can't think of any off the top of my head at the moment.

To the best of my understanding, as someone who isn't a city planner or anything along those lines, I would think the solution would be along what you suggested; adding more beneficial structures--which may include rebuilding certain things/sections but I don't thiiiink would involve the entire demolition of a building--to preexisting cities and then building the new cities with these principles in mind.

What needs to be changed will be on different levels depending on how old the city is, how it was planned out before, and whats causing issues vs what needs to be improved. There's definitely a lot of talk about needing more bike lanes and sidewalks in the US, and how sparsely everything is placed in a lot of cities without a way to really access them. I think the closest I've ever been to being in a truly walkable city was my college campus, and not only was that not the whole city but just the campus, but I also didn't really have the leg strength to walk or bike the wholething. Even still, things were close enough together that walking or biking was feasible for a lot of people--and there was a robust bus system that was free for students as long as they had an ID (though most drivers didn't ID people who looked like students, or if you were being picked up on campus).

From there I guess I'd love if something similar was implemented in other places. Free (or at least very low cost, but preferrably free) and robust bus systems, bike lanes, wide sidewalks, and things made in more of a 'hub' kind of planning instead of having everything super spaced out. With lots of green spaces interspersed throughout, like small but frequent parks that people can go to hang out with lots of benches and flowers and such. Maybe a lot of the housing set-ups would be sort of like apartments on top of stores? Close to campus, there was a mini Target and several other stores in a plaza-like block that actually all had 5 levels of apartments on top of them--you needed a special key fob to get into the elevators to access them, so it wasn't like anyone going to Target could end up at your apartment door. This could be a good way to have more structures in less space, in a way? Granted, I never lived in those units, so IDK if the quality of life was different in any way...

I feel like I've seen videos and posts discussing how one city started slowly phasing things in and out to become increasingly more walkable over the years? Maybe in Spain or something? I can't find it at the moment, however. From what I remember, they started slowly phasing cars out of certain areas of the town, instead adding more bike lanes and plazas and benches and housing until eventually basically everything was accessible by walking, biking, or taking a transit system.

I've touched this point already, but I feel that transit systems would be one of the most important parts of making a city truly accessible--but that the transit system may look different depending on where you are. New York, for example, has the subway system that from what I know (I've never taken the New York Subway I haven't been there since I was 8) is extremely efficient in getting people around--could likely use some improvements, but is definitely a good model to look at. For places where subways aren't suitable--I know Florida would deal with lots of flooding issues, trying to dig and implement a subway system--an increasingly robust bus system or even something like a monorail system like my city (sort of) has would be excellent.

Now there's definitely something to said about accessibility into buildings itself. Sometimes ramps are constructed improperly, so those would need to be fixed. I can also see there being issues with doorways and stairs and such in older buildings--though even in those cases, many buildings get revamped with elevators and wider entrances. There's probably tons of other accessibility issues that I don't even realize, because though I try to keep these things in mind, I do ultimately live life as an abled person right now.

Though another point I do also remember being brought up is the height of landscaping, especially near crosswalks and such, causing problems with accessibility for children, shorter people, the elderly, etc. Also that trailing, low-hanging plants can also cause issues by getting stuck in wheelchairs and such. These would also have to be kept in mind when considering green spaces and accessibility.

This post is getting long and ultimately I don't really know what I'm talking about in the slightest. But I do hope this was at least a little helpful!

#out of queue #ani rambles #accessibility #walkable cities

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that-hippie-user · 1 year

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hedonism as a means of healing

seems tumblr sh@dowbans posts involving w33d in the tags, so let’s try this again, sft style

yesterday i achieved ego d34th and entered a state of animalistic bliss without fear. i became fully freed of all my worries, and developed a new leese on life

i’ve always been a hedonism in practice, agreeing that pleasure seeking is an ideal way of living when done within reason. no other philosophy is as succinct and easy to argue as “pleasure good, pain bad.” but until now my own depression and self loathing had twisted that mindset into an unhealthy one.

i was content to, as my therapist put it, lie on the ground and be miserable. because it may hurt, but it’s easier than taking risks.

anyone who knows me knows that’s no secret. yes, i’m on disability for legit reasons, i got ptsd, autism, panic anxiety, among several other things which prove i’m not ready for the workplace. that much is true and the diagnosis have already been made. but i can’t deny it’s been a massive weight off my shoulders to not have to work. by the end of highschool, i became so dissolutioned with capitalism that i actually considered joining a group home to get away from my family and not have to be employed. literally i was willing to sacrifice personal freedoms for the sake of a miserable safe space. i’m glad i didn’t go through with it, that would’ve been hellish for me

but the problem with embracing base pleasures and avoiding uncomfortable risks, is that i conditioned myself to waste away into nothing. letting my ai roommate (the youtube algorithm) decide my entertainment all day every day, laying in bed binging leftist video essays, game reviews, and niche indie music as if ANY of that would give personal fulfilment.

i avoided painting despite my legit talent for it, i avoid guitar lessons despite investing in a decent starter guitar and lessons being free, i avoid learning game design despite Unreal Engine 5 being FREE and free assets being given away every month on the Unreal storefront. literally i can buy, and have bought, premade assets that bestow full freedom with minimal effort to make my own games with assets that are easy to rearange and rework, yet i do nothing.

i have this idea in me that i’m some kind of genius, that fame and fortune are already set for me, and that someday in some vague future i’m going to end up beloved by all for my achievements.

and i LOVE getting praise. somehow i get gender euphoria from being called a game designer, or any other fancy title. if i was a beloved novelist, game dev, musician, heck ALL these things, my transition would be complete. i’m beautiful when people recognize my talent.

but that’s just it. i like results, i like when i have something finished and can show it off. but i HATE the learning process. writing comes easy to me because i’ve got years of practice from fanfic and essay writing in highschool. but music? games? art? i don’t have definitive results to tell me i’m good enough to persue those things. writing is easy cuz as long as you can string together some nice words in a good order, the work is good. comprehensive knowledge on english is all you really need as a baseline for writing. do it right and you can SEE genius on the page in front of you. but game design takes programming and troubleshooting, art takes mountains of bad sketches before you see the good stuff, music takes hearing yourself fumble with an instrument until you get something good.

art, in all its forms, is built on a MOUNTAIN of garbage. name any artist you look up to, they’re bound to have some shit work from their early days.

but yesterday, i got st0ned. i let go of all my worries and fears and achieved complete and full embrace of human id, and knew what it truly was to stop second guessing myself. and now i have a new lease on life.

youtube, gone. deleted and replaced with youtube music. i can watch essays on my tv while i eat bekfast. but during the day? when i have stuff i can do? i want ALBUMS. i want albums and nothing BUT albums reccomended to me on the regular. i don’t wanna have to deal with the bullshit of ENDLESS essays to detract me from my work. i may as well be shoving potato chips and twinkies into my gullet till my stomach aches for all the good it would do me. the youtube algorithm is a curse that destroys your ability to create.

i’m still autistic, i still need SOMETHING to occupy my headphones while i do stuff. so i’m getting the app that gives nothing but music.

i was paying for youtube red anyway, i use mobile for the most part and can’t easily install adblock on my phone, so i get premium access to youtube music by default. might as well use it.

my lesson, to whoever may be reading, is thusly: EMBRACE IMPULSE. dare i say, get STOOPID.

i congratulate my romantic partners every time they misspell or mispronounce something. know why? because humans are beautiful and so are our mistakes. if you’re neurodivergent, chances are you’ve spent your whole life being put down by authority figures telling you you “don’t work hard enough” or are “too lazy” dogging on you for every mistake you make. well FAWK THAT.

i say this now because you likely don’t hear it enough. I’M PROUD OF YOU.

let your mistakes flow freely, your genius is somewhere inside of it. embrace your impulses no matter how insane they may sound, and that means embracing whatever hobby or hyperfixation you get that month, LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT HESITATION OR SHAME.

here’s a maxim for you. BE MORE BOLD. because the bigots and morons of the world get stronger every time you beat yourself down for them. YOU are strong. stronger than you know. so prove it.

cringe culture is dead, life is too short to worry about wether your place in it is significant, wether you exist or not means nothing next to what you do with yourself, and you CAN get out of bed and do something, if you address the things that are leaving you miserable in the first place and find passions to follow.

i write this ramble/essay on a keyboard built by me. her name is Eva. Eva is a beautiful purple and green 65% gasket mounted keyboard with ASA keycaps, modded with electrical tape, polyethaline foam, and fitted with custom switches lubed by hand. it is the product of years of research, obsession, craft refinement, and embrace of cringe.

i divined this keyboard in a fanfic i wrote for my own entertainment, and diving headfirst into cringe i built it and made it my main.

her name is Eva because of the Evangeleon Eva-01 keycaps i chose for her, she’s neurodivergent cuz she has LED lights that don’t always function like they should, and she’s trans cuz she’s had trans affirming surgery (mods to the top and bottom of the pcb) and voice training (parts assembled in such a way to achieve a WONDERFUL sound profile)

i made this. i did this through my own hardwork and effort, and it’s paid off.

and now, i’m gonna write my magnum opus, work on making my first game, dedicate the year to learning guitar, listen to LOTS of new music while i do, avoid the brainrot of 24/7 essays, and become the jack of all trades genious i wanna be.

i have chronic clinical depression. i’m in pain. i cry at night and lie in bed wondering if i’m worth anything in this world.

and i. can. do this.

you can to.

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multitrackdrifting · 2 years

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gacha game anon - you have my full encouragement on going back to fgo! for some of the faults with it, the writing in Camelot (chapter 6) and onwards is amazing, and from what I know it just keeps getting better from then on. im on anastasia at the moment and it hasn't dipped in quality for me so far! it's a bit of a slog until it gets good but when it gets good it gets REALLY good. and good luck on your protoarthur rolls! i don't remember when he's on gacha but if you've got $15 to spare the guaranteed SSR is going on right now and im 80% sure he's on one of the banners that's up right now.

i haven't played granblue yet but with that endorsement i want to check it out! im always on the lookout for new gacha games, I started nikke myself recently but nothing else has much caught my eye. i completely agree though localization being trash is the number one reason I usually quit on games I think I otherwise would have loved. but I've generally heard great things about granblue and would love to try it out. if you like I will keep you updated on that!

and totally take your time on mahoyaku, when you get to it I recommend watching a video of the game, or playing it alongside if you can get your hands on it as it's jp only at the moment. i went in with no visuals and it took me a lot longer to put names to faces and stop getting everyone confused with each other haha.

enstars is a very good game but the lack of access to translations and the subpar level of quality for the English version has been really hurting it. the rhythm aspect is fun, actually, but my heart will always be with enstars basic. which has no rhythm elements, but mirrors the original idea for the game, which was an idol game where people who can't play rhythm games could still participate. unfortunately they didn't even try to give that version an english release, probably because they would have to translate a good five years worth of event stories from the previous game that are hosted on that version. which is really unfortunate because id love to read the official translations for those. and thank you for that image lol im definitely going to be saving that for future use!

I didn't mind the first few arcs in FGO, but I've read a lot of manga in my time including a lot of bad shounen and romcoms so my pain tolerance is pretty high. My brain is just like oh man time to read more fgo *burns all my AP on farming mats* . I will probably make a liveblog tag at some pt though I probably need a theme so I can just put a page up with different threads im running through since I use my pinned for my videos rn

Granblue is honestly very dear to my heart but the like "end game" cycle is very unappealing bc its super grindy - that said the story stuff [the main attraction imo] is not power-gated so you're not forced to engage with the worst aspects of the game (i.e. multiplayer/ranking called "unite and fight" or guild wars, kind of similar to how idol game card farming works). The event stories & main story are for everyone, so that's fun :' ). Also they do fun character themes, which I love - I think most people got hooked once they did What Makes The Sky Blue Parts 1-3 (it's like an epic about fighting for the fate of the world but in a more direct sense than most of the early conflicts in the story) which you can do in the event archive nowadays once you pass a certain chapter I believe. The art style might seem somewhat familiar bc the art director used to work for Square Enix

Granblue is kind of funny because just, one day they decided "yeah we will support eng" but the login stuff & lack of a localised app. It's just a web-game so they never released it in other regions, it just has full english language support - thankfully it's just like a g-mail signup process not as annoying as like doing lottery for an account like kancolle was

Mahoyaku I'll have to just login to my jp itunes acc dl it and play along or st so I know what people look like

#long post #asks #gacha game anon

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euphoricsunflowers · 2 years

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it’s ok!! there’s no rush on responding or anything ☺️

it really is! I tend to love people with fire and water in their charts because they’re usually a nice balance of like… being emotionally intelligent and earnest and a lot of fun… and we can see that in mingyu in the way he’s like. THE most bulliable member of seventeen haha (oooh! what star sign are you out of curiousity? im actually a Pisces myself too… a triple one at that lmfao… I have sun moon AND mars in Pisces) but yeah for sure…! he’s so acts of service oriented that being able to take care of you/having you ask him for things or help with things etc would make him feel a sense of pride I imagine

hehe thank u kindly! this edging piece has existed in my mind for forever but it’s been a hot second since I’ve written any kind of smut so it’s just like… floating. AND HE DOES… but I do think he would get off so much on the gradual progression of you pretending to be bored to when you’re visibly into it… or maybe because I find the concept of face sitting with mingyu where you’re pretending to focus on a book/or a video game really hot haha. who knows. I just… like if you’re not calling him a good boy what are you doing with your time. he’d probably even like it outside the bedroom

he would really be satisfied if he just made you come and he was left wanting… luckily for him you probably like leaving him a mess way too much to deny him completely…

you’re absolutely correct! id argue soonyoung is up there in baby girls but hhu is a unit full of them… wonwoos babygirlism appears only in specific situations but that makes it more lethal when it does appear… and seungcheol is so interesting in that he both has a protective instinct to take care but I feel like the baby girl is definitely there it just needs to be fully coaxed out…………

(also your tag. i would like to see them fight to the death over who is the most baby girl. going seventeen episode idea??)

anon i don’t think you understand i think i might be in love with you- TRIPLE PISCES??? geez i think i am in love 🫣 im actually a taurus sun, aries moon, leo rising, aries venus, and cancer mars, those are the ones i know off the top of my head

he is the most bulliable you’re so right for that 😌 i don’t think anyone else in svt would take it quite as well as he can. he can take a lot from you, especially verbally, he’ll just pout like a puppy and complains but he will 100% be over it in 30 seconds or immediately if u kiss him he’s just always heart eyes for someone he loves 💔

no but seriously even as a sub i just know it feeds his ego so much when you start out kinda bored, not really paying attention to him to you getting really into it like he wants the full ‘suffocate him with your thighs’ experience also yes yes yes to the good boy thing bro not to be soft or anything but like, calling him a good boy while playing with his hair with his head resting in your lap pls im crying

he is so focused on you though like even if he’s unconsciously whining about how worked up his is, he’s still focused on pleasuring you again and again until you tell him to stop. at least to him, only your pleasure matters <33 and if you do decide to make him cum, he’ll be literally so grateful and polite like pls 💔

omg i can’t believe i forgot soonyoung 😭😭 he is also very baby girl but idk man i think you’re underestimating wonu’s and seongcheol’s power like maybe i’m just on twitter too much (which is correct lmao) but i’m always seeing those two

#not the gose episode tho 💀💀#that would be hella funny tho ajshshshs #anon #sub!seventeen #sub!svt #sub!mingyu

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murdereraisuha · 2 years

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Chapter 6 part 4 liveblog and summary (Tower 1 and 2, part 1)

Oh jeez I’ve been so focused on other stuff I didn’t realize the update dropped yesterday. Alright let’s get this show on the road.

Since this update is really long, I will be making multiple posts so please block the tag I use for liveblogs, #update screaming, if you don’t care about this stuff.

Obligatory warnings for spoilers and possible mistranslations.

Since no one in the fandom seems to know how to keep spoilers out of thumbnails, I already got a glance of the overblot, and I just gotta say hooooooooo boy. I love what’s going on with the face.

Okay onto the story. When we left off last time, the gang was about to split up into 3 groups to venture into each of the 3 towers of Tartarus. For this recent update, it looks like the story is split up so you can read the adventures of the 3 groups in any order? I’m watching this on youtube, so I have no idea how this is arranged in game. Anyway, I’m going to start off with the Pomefiore trio + Yuu group.

We start off with the group commenting on its cold and foreboding atmosphere. They try the elevator, and it doesn’t work at first, but then it suddenly turns on. Vil is apprehensive of it, but they enter and Ortho welcomes them to Tower 1 of Tartarus.

Ortho says some nonsense about Night Raven Quest, then pulls up a screen with Star Rogue and tells them to beat the game if they want to continue. The group sucks at video games and can’t beat it, so Ortho lowers the difficulty to beginner for them so their adventure isn’t over before it even begins. After they finally beat the game and Ortho rambles for a bit about character classes, Ortho says he’ll see them again at stage 2 and lets them out of the elevator. The gang proceeds to head down the stairs, deeper into Tartarus

As they walk, Vil starts up a conversation by berating Rook for leaving NRC and his duties as vice dorm leader in the midst of chaos, when the rest of Pomefiore would need him most. Epel is frustrated on Rook’s behalf, but Rook accepts Vil’s judgement. Vil moves on to Epel and Yuu going on this rescue mission despite how weak they are. However, with that said, Vil also admits that he was really happy when he heard that they had come here for him. And then hugs and kisses time.

I Am Uncomfortable.

Moving on, Rook and Epel explain Epel’s unique magic to Vil, then the conversation is interrupted by their first encounter with phantoms.

Alright. These designs are pretty cool. That one in the back looks kind of apple shaped and the other one has a bunch of gold stuff like a queen would, so I wonder if the phantoms each group encounters will be related to them in some way.

After taking care of the phantoms, the group discusses how dangerous it would be for these creatures to be let loose above ground. They then approach and enter the door to the asylum for phantoms.

While they’re looking at the boxes/cages the phantoms are kept in, Ortho announces his presence and locks the door behind them. This is “stage 2″. To complete the stage and leave, the group must find an ID card or password to open the door. The ID card they got from the staff won’t work; Ortho has erased the record of it from the system. This is a treasure hunting game. The ID card the group needs is held by one of the phantoms shut in the cages, so the group must search the cages to find the right one. However, since this is the beginning, Ortho gives them a hint by pointing out just 3 cages that they will need to search.

Ortho takes his leave, and the group begins the game. Of course, the first cage, which Rook opens, is a bust. Epel has a much harder time than Rook opening the second one, which is also a bust. We get another phantom design though.

I think this one is a seal? Okay no the things that look like fins are just ink blotches on the ground, so it’s more like a slug with stubby little arms. I think I’m gonna retract my previous theory lmao idk what this thing is.

And finally, the third cage has this. It’s kind of creepy how this one sounds kinda like a little girl, it makes me think that the phantoms reflect the characteristics of the mage that created them. This one has the ID card. The group is surprised that the hint was true and ponders about why the Shroud brothers are toying with them. After the awakening of a few phantoms prompts them to leave the asylum, VIl talks about how the Shroud bros can’t immediately unfreeze the phantoms despite having total control of the facility. He concludes that this whole “game” business is to make them waste time until the phantoms unfreeze.

They continue on, then the scene changes to the gate where Ortho and Idia are talking about the group’s progress and how fast the Titans are unfreezing. Pretty interesting conversation, not gonna translate it cause this update looks like it’s massive and if I do much translation it’ll take forever lol.

Going back to the Pomefiore group, Rook notices something walking on the stairs. Based on its size, Epel thinks that it’s Grim and starts to call out before Rook stops him since it’s actually a phantom. After its stopped, Epel worries about Grim, but Vil and Rook assure him that Grim’s smart and probably just hiding somewhere. They think Grim was just kept separate since he had to really recover from blot and succumbing to his feral nature as a magical beast. Rook and Vil ramble on for a bit about claw/nail care, then Epel asks them about how the two met, and Vil says that he only met Rook months after they entered NRC. Bruh we’re facing the end of the world here what the hell is this casual conversation?

Okay they’ve gotten to the next asylum now. This one is much colder than the last, so the phantoms still must be frozen. Epel tries the card they found previously on the door and it doesn’t work, and Ortho’s appearance confirms that “stage 3″ is about to start. The game this time is “let’s help a person in distress”. There is a researcher slowly freezing to death in a cage in this asylum, and the group needs the ID card that she has to leave.

The group starts breaking open cages to try and find her. Epel is getting better at opening the cages, and using the sound of her cries for help they finally find the cage she’s in. However, she turns out to be a phantom who rejoices in her new freedom before attacking. After retrieving the ID card, the group discusses the phantom’s ability to talk like a human before they leave the asylum. Deeper down, Tartarus is even colder, and the player has the option to express worry about Grim. Vil reassures them, then the group hears a series of loud thuds as the stairs begin to shake. It turns out to be a chonky boy.

Look at the size of this lad. Absolute unit. I try to avoid screenshots which make it obvious who’s video I’m using, but I had to get the size comparison + Jade just throwing a pie at this thing in here cause it’s so funny to me.

Anyway, this thing is actually the “Phantom Titans Earth” kept in Tower 1 that we heard about from the old guy in the last update. The group runs away to the hanger with the Thunder Spear and they frantically search the room as the Titan pounds on the door behind them. Thankfully, they find it quite fast.

After Vil uses the activation key, it transforms into this:

Pretty cool. However, it’s really big, heavy, and powerful, so much so that Vil is struggling to handle it. They fight the Titan again, and then...

omg I love this, their little chibi forms are so cute

They blast the Titan into the massive pit and it falls down towards the bottom. However, the attack uses most of the Thunder Spear’s battery. Since they’ll be defenseless against the Titan without it, they decide to rest in the hanger and check in with the other groups while they wait for the Thunder Spear to recharge. Instead of continuing with the Tower 1 group, I’m going to switch over to Leona and Jamil in Tower 2 now.

The two start their journey by briefly pondering how many floors Tartarus has. Leona asks Jamil to give him one of his “useless, jangly hair ornaments”, and then he yeets it into the pit to try and gauge how deep it is.

oh yeah I can already tell that this group might be my favorite of the three.

Like the Pomefiore group, the two approach the elevator, it opens for them, and Jamil guesses that it’s a trap and tells Leona to stay back. However, Leona ignores Jamil and just strolls in. Ortho appears and is disappointed by how unphased the two are by his appearance, and Leona says it’s because it’s easy to predict what a robot’s thinking.

Ortho then announces that they will be facing their 1st test. Jamil is apprehensive and cautious, Leona ignores him again and complains about how annoying he is. Their challenge turns out to just be the hydra whack-a-mole game that Leona played before. Jamil is still worried about what Ortho could be planning with this, says he’ll be the one to play, and even worries that the controller might be rigged to electrocute them if its touched. Bruh why are you being so worried in general & concerned over Leona’s safety???

Anyway, Jamil goes first and gets an instant game over.

Someone save this man.

Ortho lowers the difficulty down for him and talks a bit about the monsters they’ll face in Tartarus before letting them out of the elevator.

While walking, they talk about the cold a bit and Jamil offers to let Leona borrow his clothes (Bruh???) if he’s cold before Leona tells him to cut the act already or he’s leaving him behind. Jamil then confesses that he’s worried about the students left behind at NRC who don’t have their leaders. The conversation cuts off when they notice a dark area ahead where enemies could be hiding, and Jamil yet again asks Leona to stay back while he checks ahead. BRO Leona is not your responsibility why are you being like this.

The video didn’t even show the fight with the phantom so I’m gonna assume it’s the same as phantoms the other group met. Awww.

Blah blah talk about blot and what dangers could lie ahead

Leona: Hah... what a scared herbivore.

Jamil: Wha!? I’m not scared. I’m just covering for your recklessness!

Leona: Ah, I see. Do as you like.

...

Jamil: I’ll do so.

Right after that, they enter the asylum and Ortho appears. He says he’s been thinking about what Leona said about a robot’s predictableness, so he’s tried to make this more interesting for them. He points them to a piece of paper on their right which just has “dour” written on it in English, and tells them that is half of the password needed to move forward. The other half is in one of the cages. Ortho doesn’t give them a hint before he leaves, I guess he doesn’t like them as much lol.

In the first cage they find “lion”, but “dour lion” doesn’t work as a password. The next one is “fin present”, and Leona guesses that the password could be “find our present”, putting “dour” in the middle of the fragment they just found, but that doesn’t work either. Jamil keeps the memo from the third cage from Leona and goes directly to the door to input the password. The door opens.

Leona: I thought that there was a possibility that that pipsqueak lied about everything, but it looks like that wasn’t so.

Leona: Well then, what was the password?

Jamil: ... I think it would better if you didn’t know. I’m in a very bad mood right now.

Leona: Just say it.

Jamil: ... *sigh*

Jamil: The memo had “best!” written on it.

Leona: Best? If you combine it with the first letters that we found...

Leona: “do ur best!”... Do your best?

Leona: Those guys... They’re making fun of us!!!

Jamil: Look, as I predicted you got mad. This is why I didn’t want to say anything.

I know I said I wouldn’t translate stuff but ghgklfsgsklsdlkf

As they continue down the stairs, they discuss how Ortho has seemed to change between now and back when everyone was playing games together. Back then, Ortho didn’t seem to have much in the way of actual emotions, but now Ortho seemed annoyed when Leona called him a robot and the surprise he had for them in the asylum seemed to have been created out of malice.

Then, a phantom crawling from below ambushes them.

Mr. President, get down!

Leona is predictably pissed by this. The girls are now fighting The two start butting heads again over Jamil’s behavior’s being a nuisance. Leona tells Jamil that even if he tries to hide it, he can tell that he got injured in the recent fight, and that makes him a liability. Leona: “I would’ve been better off with that lying octopus bastard” Jamil: “unlike Azul, I’m a trained bodyguard. I’m much more useful than that frail guy.”

Leona abruptly walks off into the next asylum. Jamil thinks to himself that Leona will soon regret his flippant attitude before following him.

Ortho welcomes them to the third trial, notices how serious they look, and worries how they’ll fare while being in such bad moods. I wonder why he’s using different words for the challenges each group faces.

Anyway, this trial is “he who controls water controls everything”. This trial has to do with the vats of cooling liquid embedded in the floor. The duo hear cries for help from a cage deeper in the room and spot an actual researcher there who’s stuck in the liquid due to his foot being caught by a rope attached to a sinking cage. Ortho reveals that the rope is actually a cable which, if cut, will open every cage in the room at once. To save the researcher before he drowns, they have to find a key which will let them unlock the guy’s leg from the cage. I’m not 100% clear on the details of what’s going on here so take this previous paragraph with an especially large grain of salt.

Jamil tries to think of a plan first, Leona just immediately starts busting open cages. After a few cages, one cage appears empty at first so Jamil approaches to investigate, but it turns out to be an ambush and Leona has to help him. Afterwards, Jamil thinks to himself that even though Leona is a pain, it’s best to endure it and stick with him. They argue a bit more about Leona’s recklessness until they finally find the key.

This whole time, the researcher has been panicking. However, once he’s free, Leona asks him to stand and it turns out he’s tall enough that he wasn’t actually in any danger of drowning. Bruh.

With that taken care, the duo get the guy’s ID card so they can continue on. They encounter the Titan of this tower, the ice phantom “Phantom Titans Crystal”.

I like the spinning halo of ink around its head and its smash attacks, very cool monster.

Leona holds off the Titan using his unique magic while Jamil searches the hanger for the Thunder Spear. Jamil finds it, but realizes that he doesn’t have the magical ability to handle it so he runs back to get Leona.

Using the Thunder Spear, Leona launches the Titan into the pit. With that, they settle down to wait the 3 hours it’ll take for the spear to charge. I thought we had to hurry??? Alright whatever I guess we didn’t have to hurry that much. Leona even takes a nap lmaoooooo.

I think I’ll end this post here and begin the next one with Riddle and Azul’s adventure. Stay tuned.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst jp #twst spoilers #update screaming

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creativeashproductions · 4 years

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If I Stay Part One // Luke Patterson

Summary: A beautiful day Luke visits a record store to relive the times he would buy an album, but he finds more than memories. He meets you and a connection blossoms between you two and then Reggie and Alex as well. All is well until Julie discovers something.

Warning: Swearing, talk of death and car accident!

Words: 2.6k

A/N: This is based off the movie If I Stay and the movie Charlie St. Cloud. Sorry for not posting sooner, my sister in law along with my three nieces were in a car accident. Thankfully the kids are okay but my sister-in-law in currently in hospital due to minor injuries thus far.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

So, Julie’s life changed dramatically in the lost year and few months, firstly her family lost their mother. Secondly, Julie’s love for music faded until the melody and lyrics were haunting memories. Thirdly, after losing her place in the music program, she had to question her sanity. For in her garage lived three teenage ghosts to her disbelief and horror quite frankly; the ghosts grew on her so much she was in a band with them.

In the hours that Julie was attending school, the boys tended to tour the entire city. They enjoyed seeing the changes that had happened for the two and a half decades. Reggie really enjoyed the western-themed stores, even scaring a little girl with a floating cowboy hat that disappeared once on his head. Alex adored learning about the drastic changes within in the LGBTQ+ community, he had plans for when 2021 LA Pride came in June. Luke, of course, would go anywhere that had music such as music stores, record stores, concert venues and even followed a rock legend once.

“Ooh.” A voice spoke in the record store, “This would be the perfect gift.”

Luke turned to see you gazing at the Rock N’ Roll records with a passion in your eyes and an adorable smile that melted his heart. He couldn’t help but walk closer even if he had no clue if you could see him or not.

“Def Leppard? Definitely one of my favourite bands.” Luke spoke anticipating the usual one-sided conversation. His speculation shattered when you turned to face him with big eyes, “You can see me.”

You nodded your head, pushing your hands into your faded blue jeans glancing around the store, hoping the owner didn’t notice. To your relief the man was oblivious, Luke glanced over before stepping closer.

“You’re alive?”

“Mhm.” You spoke, removing a single hand to play with your burgundy jacket that cinched at the waist to give form. It was open to reveal a plain black shirt that left an inch of your midsection free, “I always wondered if ghosts were real. I got my answer.”

“This is so cool! My friend is the only person that can see my friends and me.” The grin was breathtaking on the teenage ghost. There was a connection between the two that was immediate and intense.

“At least you’re not alone.” You supplied turning to pick up the record, turning it around to read the tracklist. In the end, you decided you didn’t feel like buying it, replacing it you started for the front door.

A college-aged person walked in glued to the screen of the phone not replying as you mentioned a thank you before the door closed. Luke rushed to follow your steady pace in black hiking boots.

“Where are you going?” Luke questioned coming to the same stride as the girl that had taken his attention quickly. His interest had grown when he found he could hold a conversation with her.

“It’s a nice day. I thought I would go for a walk.” You replied, stopping to look around the street with curious eyes. Luke yearned for those eyes to look in his again because he swore he saw a galaxy in them, “Would you like to join me?”

Luke’s head was nodding in response with a new pep in his step as you walked down the street filled with all different kind of stores. Luke recognized Family Living Grocery store as the one that the Molina got their groceries, he and the guys had joined Julie on a trip once. It was one of his worst memories as a ghost, surrounded by snacks and food he couldn’t indulge in.

“So, what’s your story, Caspar?” You questioned stopping to look as at a beautiful dollhouse, “My cousin had one. We actually renovated it a while back for her unborn niece.”

“Caspar?” Luke teased, watching the nostalgia faded from your expression as you continued on the walk. His hazel eyes, greener at the moment, glittered at the different banter he had with you than the guys or Julie.

“Well, I don’t know your name!” You exclaimed turning the corner at a parlour with gorgeous stencilled artwork on the glass.

“Luke. My name is Luke. Hey! I know this shop!” Luke beamed, stepping back to take in the storefront. In the twenty-five years since he last saw it, the blue faded into a teal, but the door was still the same as it always was.

“You have a tattoo?” You asked, scanning his arms bare in the cut off shirt he wore. You couldn’t see any ink on his skin. Luke couldn’t help the smirk on his face at the blatant heated gaze.

“No. It was 1994. We just played our biggest gig at the time, and Bobby decided we should get tattoos.” Luke’s mouth twisted at the mention of his former friend, “Of course we were sixteen and Alex just about fainted in the shop. The guy took one look at Reggie and laughed at our fake IDs. Told us to come back in a few years.”

One of the few memories that weren’t tainted by the betrayal that Trevor Wilson had gone on to do a year after the tattoo fiasco. It was more than not being credited or his songs being stolen, but it was also that someone he wholeheartedly trusted turned his back on them. Luke frankly didn’t care how Bobby coped after that fateful night. Still, he changed his name and refused any mention of his previous music experience. That hurt a lot.

“So, you’re a ’90s kid.” You raised an eyebrow coming to a stop on the edge of the street, pressing the button to cross.

“Technically a ’70s kid. We died in ’95 a few hours before a life-changing gig.” The mood turned sombre as Luke thought back on that one night that life decided to raise both middle fingers at his dreams, “Death by a hot dog.”

The snicker fell from your mouth before you do anything about it but sobered up quickly in the view of his painful admittance.

“So, you’re seventeen?” You asked crossing when the crosswalk light flickered on. Your attention focused on crossing while listening to the teenager.

“Forever seventeen but I would eighteen physically, but if I had survived I would be forty-three.” Luke mused shoving his hands into his staple black jeans with the chains and his constant accessory of a blue rabbit’s foot.

“Oh, damn. I’ve seventeen as well.” You replied dodging pedestrians before humming a to a song you had heard recently but where you did was unknown. You didn’t want to bump into anyone.

Luke glanced down at his watch, somehow even in death it worked, noticing that it was around the time rehearsal would commence. The thought barely ended before a flash of light preceded Alex’s presence. You slightly jumped in response.

“Luke! Julie’s wondering where you are. We have rehearsal.” Alex was surprised that Luke wasn’t already at the studio. He was always the first one holding his guitar for the rest of them.

One glance at the girl beside Luke cemented a reason for his tardiness. Alex could see that you were the reason and a pretty reason too. Alex wished he had your jacket with such a beautiful colour, but the music was more important.

“Oh, man!” Luke panicked fearing that being late would cause Julie to leave the band after the whole school dance fiasco.

“So, Luke. I like your name by the way. I’m Y/N.” You greeted holding back from offering you a hand, your theory would have been proven correct. Ghosts can’t touch other people, all the movies portrayed that.

“Nice to meet you! I’ll find you soon!” Luke shouted seconds before Alex poofed them both away with a single hand on his bandmate’s shoulder.

A content smile appeared before you continued on your way, unaware of the lack of acknowledgement from people on the street.

The next few days, Luke would find you either in the record store or just out front during his free time. He hadn’t realized how lonely he was touring the music entertainment spots until he had your company. Soon you were joined by Alex and Reggie every once in a while.

The three were planning outings with their new lifer friend as Julie grabbed her songbook from her room. She was amused when the three wouldn’t shut up.

“What are you planning?” Julie questioned scanning their animated expressions, even taking in the slight change in Alex’s appearance.

Alex had a braided bracelet of the rainbow on his left wrist that definitely hadn’t been there yesterday. He even seemed calmer and less anxious, as well.

“What happened to Alex?” Julie questioned with a small smirk, “Did you bump into Willie?”

Alex shook his head, “No, Luke met this girl at a record store and then Reggie and I met her. She’s cool! There’s this app she showed us, and it had videos of anything you could imagine!”

Julie’s teasing smile faltered at the mention of Luke meeting someone before it returned once more. She pushed the feeling away as this girl had brought peace to the drummer.

“What’s her name?” Julie asked, pushing the songbook away to listen intently to the new piece of the boys’ afterlife. The three burst into stories of the girl.

“She took me to this cool place nearby where people store their horses!” Reggie burst out, clapping his head, “I already have a country song started! This is so a hit single for our future country album!”

Alex only released an exasperated sigh at Reggie’s idea that he voiced every single day since the beginning of the band. Luke was just used to finding sheets of songs from Reggie around the studio and often his songbook too.

“She also brought me a bag of clothing she had in her house that she let me go through. Apparently, her house is the place where cousins take their old clothing.” Alex supplied striking a pose in his new white sweater with a rainbow logo on the front.

Julie grinned at the positivity radiating off the two boys.

“Is she a ghost?”

Luke shook his head, “No. She’s alive.”

A spark of happiness flits itself inside of Julie before it dissipated because Flynn had already gently let the girl down about Luke.

“What’s her name! I’m gonna find her Instagram!” Julie took out her phone waiting as Alex supplied her the name. Her thumbs froze before she could type staring down at the black screen.

The name was familiar.

Laying on a bed on San Pablo Street was a girl with her eyes closed and a serene expression. This bed wasn’t just any bed in a home. Instead, this bed was one no one wished to be in. A bed with machines surrounding and right in the middle of those machines was Y/N.

The very girl that had met Luke, Reggie and Alex were in fact in the ICU of a hospital recovering in a coma.

“Why do you look like that?” Luke demanded as the colour drained from the lead singer of their band.

“Are you sure it was Y/N Y/L/N?” Julie gulped dread filling her veins as each boy nodded their head and the girl slumped, “I go to school with her. The thing is she’s been in a coma for two weeks now.”

You were outside the record store once more as the three ghosts appeared in front of you each looking the worst you had ever seen them.

“Did you lie?” Luke questioned stepping closer to the teenage girl that furrowed her brows in confusion, “You said that you are alive. Why did you lie?”

“Lie?” You asked, taking a step back from the odd energy the boys had. A look of distraught on each face, “What are you talking about?”

“Why are you here every day at this exact time. Never late, never early.” Alex questioned sick to his stomach as your brows came together.

“I- walk…” You trailed off thinking of the last week in deep thought paling as you had no recollection of going home or getting to the store. It was like you blacked out each time.

Actually, the last time you remember not being with the guys or at the store was two weeks ago.

“I don’t re…member.” You whispered, “I haven’t seen my family since…oh my god.”

Luke stepped closer, terrified as he reached out, hoping with his entire being his hand would go through you. It didn’t. Luke’s hand rested on your arm, still wearing that burgundy jacket. Your eyes flickered between his solid hand and the same outfit you wore for weeks now. Why would you be wearing a jacket and hiking boots in Los Angeles?

“My cousin had been saving up for a trip for her eighteenth birthday. She wanted to go skiing, so we split the cost between our families.”

As if a wall broke, you realized with horror that the college boy that hadn’t held the for you like you first thought. He hadn’t seen or heard you because in his world you weren’t there. No one had acknowledged you because they couldn’t see you just like they couldn’t see Luke.

“What else do you remember?” Reggie spoke up next, noticing that Luke was getting more upset. His eyes going so light the green appeared to be blue and glittered with tears and his heart dropping.

“My parents, my cousin and I were driving up the mountain in the rented car. There-“

Two Weeks Ago

Your head leaned again Lou’s head sharing the headphones connected to your phone blasting the carefully curated playlist. Lou had been living with your parents and you the last six months as her parents were travelling for work. It was a dream because she was like a sister already and vice versa; Lou as a surprise baby with her older sister being ten years older.

“We haven’t been to the slopes since we first got married.” Dad said glancing over at your mother in the passenger seat, “Didn’t we conceive-“

“Dad! Gross!” You shouted, wrinkling your nose as he glanced in the rear-view mirror to smile at your antics. Your mother’s laugh was probably one of your most favourite sounds in the world, it was warm like hot chocolate on a cold day.

“Did you see that video of the hologram band?” Lou asked, not paying attention to your family’s antics, “It’s super cool.”

“We still have half of our playlist to go through. You should show me when we get to the cabin.” You replied, “We could put it on the projector with the others.”

The others being your extended family, including the surprise of Lou’s parents. Your mother pointed out the snow on the mountain gaining everyone’s attention. It was beautiful compared to sunny Los Angeles.

Lou’s thumb was just about to click the video of Julie and the Phantoms against your wishes. You felt the fear before the yell, snapping your head up you watched as a pickup truck hit ice swerving into your lane. The screech of tires preceded the crunch of the vehicles hitting each other. Throughout the surrounding area, the echoes of the crash bounced off the mountains scaring birds away. Miraculously Lou’s phone survived the crash and played the electric video of ‘Edge of Great’ by Julie and the Phantoms. A song you would hum under your breath during your walks meeting the guys.

The snow turned red under four of five bodies. You lay nonconscious a stark difference in the burgundy jacket and black shirt you had painstakingly chosen that morning.

If I Stay Part Two (Final)

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heyheyloki · 4 years

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Loving Is (Not) Easy [1]

Summary: Sometimes the best thing you can do is take it head on and wait.

Spencer Reid x M!Reader

Word Count: 4876

1. Sometimes, you need to wait.

The first time you met Doctor Spencer Reid was one that you wished happened under different circumstances. Although, if it did happen different, you highly doubt things would turn out like the way they have. You probably would never be living with him, never be able to be your true self, and never have found the man you want to love for the rest of your life. But, with any love story there will be always things in the way. Your enemy just happened to be time.

Around six months ago was the first time you saw him. He was literally your light in the darkness. He had saved you from a hell you couldn't escape for fifteen years. Over and over again you would wake up in that small room and the devil and his partner would strip you of yourself. They took everything they could from you, yet he was the one to give it all back.

It was around winter, the seasons turning as the green grass began to be dominated by the white fluffy snow. You were never really able to see it though. They wouldn't let you. The only time you got to see the outside was when they would remove the nails from the sheets that blacked-out the window from your eyes. You suppose you could always just try to tear the fabric down, but they would never let you back up in your room without your hands damaged. Too damaged to even touch anything. It stung.

You always believed that your life was supposed to be this way. That you would eventually die before you could even figure out how long you’ve been in this place. Before you could even know how old you actually were. Birthdays, time, those things were long in the first three years up here. After that, everything was such a blur that you barely tried to pay attention to it anymore. You believed in so many things, positive things, and yet as the time went on negative thoughts crawled inside your mind. You would never be able to experience love, or even get a job and normal social life. Something you have been deprived up ever since you came out to them about something personal. Something they thought was filthy and disgusting.

You thought for such a long while that it was your fault, and you still did to this day. Maybe if you had read the signs more you would have noticed. But what young boy notices that stuff? What young boy would think their parents are capable of such acts because of their sexuality?

You never tried to scream. Your mother always told you that if you scream then you’ll get punished. You never tried to learn what that punishment would be. Although, one day the pain was just too unbearable that you let out noise. Your parents didn't like it much. But how can you not scream as they cut open your skin?

Even with the punishment. Even with the beatings. You think the only thing that saved your life was your scream. You only thank those who heard it, the neighbors. They were the ones who brought him to you. And you thank them every day of your life for it.

It was normal day at the BAU section of the FBI in Quantico, Virginia. The team there had received a case from the police in Denver, Colorado about a possible abusive household. Normally, things like this would be handled by the police only. Although, this case was proving to be more and more gruesome than they ever thought possible.

The team had collected in the conference room, the board lit up with two pictures. One of a man and the other a woman. They looked to be completely normal, normal people anyone would pass at any time of the day.

"Nicolás and Vanessa Perez are a married couple in the Denver area of Colorado." A woman known as JJ stated. She had short blond hair and fair skin. Each of those at the table had a conflicted look on their faces, especially since she didn't show any pictures of them as bloody corpses.

"What's so special about them?" Agent Aaron Hotchner, leader of the team asked.

"Well, they aren't dead for one. Although, neighbors have heard screams coming from the house." She said, her thumb clicking on a button on the remote she carried. A small window of video popped up and immediately began to play. It was focused on the ground, a sidewalk. Even so with not being able to see anyone, the bloodcurdling screams of a male was present in all of their ears. Screams that called out in the darkness when monsters are visible. Screams that should never be made possible. But, it was. Those types of voices were signs of clear distress and pain rather than fear. And everyone in the room knew that.

Once it ended, a couple of people let out a deep sigh. Their hearts speeding up for just one moment before putting back up the shield that helped them do this job.

"Do we know who that was?" Doctor Spencer Reid, the youngest of the agents asked.

"No one had any idea up until a few days ago when a neighbor took this picture." JJ said as she put up a somewhat blurred image of a young individual looking out the window of what looked to be an upstairs room or attic.

"We have any idea who the kid is?" Derek Morgan asked.

"No one can get an ID on him." JJ informed the team. Although, just as she believed they would hurry to Denver, Colorado, Hotchner asked, "I understand the severity of the situation but why did the police need us on this case?"

"Well," JJ muttered. Her thumb clicking a button once more as ten pictures of young woman popped up on screen. The youngest at eighteen while the oldest ranging up to her thirties. "All these woman have been going missing in the area where the screaming can be heard. Police there believe it is this couple kidnapping these young woman, but they have no proof."

"Wait, but the one in the picture there is obviously a young man." Emily Prentiss stared clearly for everyone to hear.

"Yeah, that does seem to be the case." Spencer Reid agreed, his hazel hues keeping on the blurred picture of the young man.

"Either way, I don't like the odds that boy has." Hotchner said, picking up himself and the items he owned from the circular table as he and his team moved out. The screams they all heard from that video echoing non-stop in their minds.

2. Don’t Make A Sound

When they all reached the police station cops were running back and forth as commotion ensued the place. They looked around at the panic before picking up the pace to the one who calls the shots, the Chief.

"What's going on?" Special Agent David Rossi asked. He and his team watched as the police chief turned to them just after he hung up the phone. Some determination deep within his eyes, or perhaps anger.

"We just got another report of screams coming from the same house." He quickly stated. "I'm about to go visit the home again, you all are free to tag along."

Everyone quickly agreed, however, Hotchner was quick to leave JJ and Reid at the station to start up a profile for the unsubs. Meanwhile, everyone else traveled to the most unsuspecting home in the most unsuspecting neighborhood. It was one of those neighborhoods that would be in an ad back in the day that promoted the American Dream to foreigners. The clean cut green grass, the perfect two story home, and of course, the whit picket fence. When the team came up to the house and knocked on the door the woman answered first. She stared at them with narrowed eyes as she scanned all of the badges they whipped out for her to see.

"Mrs Perez? We have a few questions for you. May we come in?" Derek asked with the deep and silky voice that attract woman left and right.

"Sure," she stuttered. Her fingers scrunched against her thin scarf that hung loosely around her neck as she stepped aside for them. Each one that entered her home allowed another squeeze at her scarf.

As the officer and members from the FBI looked around the home, they noticed nothing out of the ordinary. It was a typically normal home with a normal living room, kitchen, even bedroom. When they all sat down in the living room to talk, Derek couldn't help but notice a door that looked to lead up to an attic. One that would have to be pulled down from the sealing. Thing was though, it had a lock. He kept it in mind as others began to question her. Rossi looking around at the picture of her and her husband along a table, as well as several items that indicated she was religious.

"Where is your husband, Mrs Perez?" Rossi asked. He stared at the back of her head for a moment before going back to the pictures when he heard her reply, "The store, we needed more food."

"Ma'am, we've been getting several reports now of screams coming from your house. Mind telling us what that's all about?" The officer asked, his brows furrowed more the longer he stared at her.

"I have no idea. It's just me and my husband, you see. We don't bother anyone." She stated calmly. Although, even with her calm demeanor, something about this woman irked Derek to his very core. He could feel it in his gut that something was wrong, and almost on some god-given luck a few noises--like footsteps--came from above. Everyone was quick to get a look up, their minds racing. However, when they looked back at the woman on instinct she said, "We have a raccoons nest up there."

"Better get them out soon, raccoons tend to carry all kinds of illnesses." Rossi said in a manner that was almost read as sarcastic, like he wasn't buying any of it. Although, even with the timid questioning, things began to heat up at an exponential rate when he saw a photo of a small boy. In the picture it was easy to say he was a cute kid. Smooth skin, full lips, gorgeous colored orbs, and healthy looking hair. The kinda features for a male that would mature into god-like looks.

"This your son?" Rossi asked. He held the photo up for her to get a look at when she turned her body around.

"Yes. His name is [Name], a sweet boy." She sugared, something about her honeyed words clawed at Rossi.

"So, where is he now?" He asked, walking up to the group once he set the photo down. He watched as she grabbed a hold of her necklace, a cross, as she said, "I sent him away. Boys like those detectives, they get a lot of attention."

"What kind of attention?" Prentiss asked, her arms folded over her chest.

"Attention one boy should not be getting from another." She hissed out. Her hatred now clear for everyone to see. Her dark eyes scanned the room before her voice became strong, more stern. "How would you feel if your son was kissing other boys?"

"I wouldn't care." Hotchner quickly stated, his own eyes burning with hatred as well. However, his hate was targeted somewhere different. "What did you do to him?"

She stared at Hotchner for a moment. Her eyes twisting into something that made his stomach turn at what she could have done to her own son. Then, a moment later, she raised her chin and said, "Somewhere better. Somewhere where he can learn god's will and fix his devil like face."

After the interrogation at the Perez house, the team went back to the station where Reid had been fixing up a board that helped him classify the unsubs.

"Whatcha got, pretty boy?" Derek asked with a small smirk. He saw Reid turn around with a sorta mocking face for a split second before getting into his findings.

"The only connection I could find between the missing woman was that they are all between the ages of eighteen and twenty, not only that but after about a week they are discarded and replaced." Reid started out saying, thoughts now running through his family's minds when he said, "It was almost like they were defective to them in some way."

Derek was the first to speak his mind, even if he didn’t like the conclusion he and many others were coming up with only after meeting the wife once. “When we went there, she went on about sending her son to a ‘better place’ where he can ‘fix himself’. If her and her husband have him and are taking these women, is it a stretch to say that they’re taking these women for him?”

“Well, why would they be doing that?” JJ asked. “I mean, you guys said that it sounded like their son was homosexual.”

“He can still be.” Rossi said, “but the parents think they can fix his sexuality by forcing these women onto him and when they don’t..”

“They’re killed and replaced,” Hotchner finished, his eyes scanning the board before saying aloud, “let’s go give the profile.”

3. Escape Never Looked So Easy

You’ve known this place most of your life and for the longest time you could remember a new girl coming to visit you every week. No, visit isn't the right word. More so forced to see you. You knew what was going on as you got older and you knew the first thing you had to do was help these women in anyway you could. Over and over again you have failed in ways that no one would ever understand. However, you were determined to help this one. You had too. Not only for a lofty sense of justice and pity, but since it was also your chance. She could help. Go to the police. The FBI are here now, they will help you.

"It'll be okay, I promise." You whispered to a scared woman who hugged her knees in her chest. The tears down her face wouldn't stop, staining her pale cheeks. Her wobbly eyes gazed up at you, staring at every possible scar that they left on your face.

"How do you do it?" Her brittle voice asked. Her head leaned to the side as her eyes narrowed and brows furrowed.

It was weird to be asked such a question, but not an uncommon one. They all ask it eventually, and you guess at some point in time you found the answer.

"I.. learned to adapt." You muttered out, your own head leaning downward as you stared at the rotting wooden floorboards. It was quiet for a moment, but you could still feel her eyes curiously watching you. Searching you.

"H-How long have you been up here?" She stuttered, almost scared to know the answer.

This time it was your turn to mirror her look of confusion. You could always tell when it was night and day, when the seasons chance, but you never have been able to count the years that have gone by. That was always the hard part.

"Don't know," You uttered, your voice soft and vulnerable. "All my life, I suppose."

Looking back, all you remember is this place. This way of living. You truly believe the only thing that kept you from believing this was okay in anyway was the books your father sneaks to you. He ended up doing it for as long as you could remember, but after some time whenever she would leave the house he would come up here. He'd teach you things, tend to my wounds, even apologize.

One time, he even tried to help you escape. A while ago, after they put up the tarp so the neighbors couldn't see you from the attic, he left the nails very loose in the wooden boards along the wall. It was easy for you to take it off without making too much noise. The jump down wasn't much given how it's only a two story home and the land would be in some bushes, but she tends to be more concerned with locking you away from the world. Father said it was so you don't 'act on the devil's desires'.

That sentence never did make sense to you. As much as you believe in your own intelligence, you could never wrap your head around it. After all, how would you be acting on the 'devil's desires' when she calls you the devil in disguise. Wouldn't it just be your own desires then? And even so, what's so wrong about desires? That's what makes an individual, otherwise wouldn't we all just be the same?

Father told you it started off with my looks. She believes you’re not their child, and he predicts that's how she can act so monstrous towards you. She apparently used to tell him about how the devil is supposed to be depicted as a handsome man, one with radiant features and charism so he can make others sin. She was always scared of you, of how you would look when you grew older. But, the moment she caught you innocently giving a kiss to a boy, she snapped.

She tells your father that they are ridding great evil from the world. Not so much about protecting you, fixing you. But more about protecting other people, helping other people. She used to call priests all the time when you were younger, but they stopped coming after some time. Your father thinks it has something to do with the fact that she didn't want the priests to see the scars on your face.

The first one she placed on you was on your left bottom lip. It drags from your lip to a little on your chin. It's noticeable, that's for a sure, as well as jagged. Over time, the cuts got smoother. The latest was under your right eye. It was curved to match my eye socket as well as wide more in the middle before riding off. All the other scars just happened to be on your body. Chest, back, legs, arms. She wanted to make sure that you were no longer the devil she imagined. After all, if your face was no longer sinful, if your handsome features were cut up, who would think of you as even the least bit attractive?

You only snapped out of your own thoughts when the girl across from you tapped on your shoulder. Your eyes quickly met hers that were filled with some kinda new strength while you felt wetness stream down your face.

"We're gonna get outta here. Both of us." She said to you. It was the first time someone had offered to take you with them. The first time that they didn't just care about their own escape. Although, you never blamed them.

"Y-Yeah," You stuttered, your voice cracking the longer she stared at you.

However, you decided at this point it would be best to just focus on her. She was more in danger than you were, so, you told her a plan. One that was full proof as long as that woman is out of the house.

"I can't take the tarp down, nevertheless open the window with my hands." You informed her. She guided her eyes to your shaky hands that where riddled with scars and bruises. Some cuts open with dried blood the only thing keeping the wound shut. "They haven't hurt you like they have me yet. So, it's up to you."

"How will I know she's gone?" The girl asked.

"She will be soon. This is the time of the day that she goes out for more supplies. It will take her at least twenty minutes." You informed her. Your head dropping for a second before saying softly, "Get back here with those FBI guys before then."

"Why?" She asked curiously.

You never did answer that question. It was your least favorite of all questions, especially when the answer most of the times is so easy to figure out.

4. God Sent Me An Angel

Fifteen minutes. That's how long she's been gone for. As much as you hope she would bring those people back, you wouldn't blame her if she just ran for the hills. Something like this, it would scare a lot of normal people. Though when does something scary turn into another person's normal? After time? You suppose that could be one answer; maybe even the only answer.

You think it was in a book you read stated that faith could be something of salvation and yet could lead someone onto the highway to hell. You truly believe that is where she will go after she dies, and you do hope that she realizes the truth. The single truth that you are not the devil in disguise. That you are not a sinner. That you are not Satan himself.

It was so quiet, quiet enough to hear your own breathing as it entered through your nose and out your mouth. Your breath laid still in the air, visible by the cool air that surrounded the attic. There wasn’t a heater in there, so the temperature was determined by the weather on the outside.

One minute. Two minutes. You felt like you had started counting the seconds, lost so much in your head that you didn’t hear anything until the sound of clanking wood rang loud in your ear drums, infecting your brain.

You whipped your head around and stared blankly at the only exit or entrance of this hell besides the now broken window. Although, you had heard the sound so many times before that it was normal, most of the time you wouldn't even go to look. But this time you wanted to see, you wanted to look to see if the true devil was going to look you in the eyes or maybe perhaps it would be an angel himself.

However, you heard no sirens. Heard no new voices or those of those men before. So, the moment you saw the light shine from the house into the attic, you knew you would be staring into the eyes of the devil. And you did.

You knew the moment you saw the disembodied look on her face that my fate was sealed with a bloody end. Perhaps now your suffering can end, maybe now you can actually get some peace.

"Get over here, boy!" She yelled, her words like poison. Yet you hoped in that moment that when she wrapped her hand around your wrist that you would be let to your salvation. Maybe when you die you would see the pretty stars, the beautiful moon that somehow gave you a sense of hope in that dark and cold attic.

Her grip was solid and terrifying, although the fear you had for that woman died a long time ago when she started to slash your face. You couldn't see your father for miles, you had just assumed in that moment that perhaps she killed him as well, just like with all the other woman before. The ones you failed to save but each made a vow to, one they wanted you to keep before they met their end.

It wasn't until you both went into the kitchen and found yourself in the spot that she makes a mess with your body that you felt something. It wasn't so much fear or anger, but more so hope. It was the hope that this never ending nightmare would finally come to a close, that you would finally wake up.

"Sirens.." You muttered to yourself, your voice soft like that of a childs. You watched as her face contorted in fear when some men began to pound on the door and claim to be with the FBI.

When the door was busted down she pulled you close to her and held an object close to your neck, yet before it all she managed to grab the nearest bag and place it over your face. Essentially, even to the end she would rather hide me from them all entirely. With your vision gone, all you had was sound and touch to go one.

"Put the knife down!" You heard a man yell. You could remember him as one of the men that came here the other day.

"Mrs. Perez, let the boy go." A soft voice spoke. You couldn't explain why it was silky and not as deep as the other but gave you a sense of calmness. You could tell you would be fine in that moment, and believed it more than the entire universe.

"I'm not letting such evil into the world! None of you understand! He's the devil himself!" She screamed, the knife's sharp edges more prominent against your neck. You didn't make a sound though. You thought maybe you could get punished if you did.

"Why do you believe that?" The man with the calming voice asked. You could tell he was trying to calm her down to let you go.

Her firm grasp on your shoulder suddenly grew tighter, you believed she could shatter your bones if she really wanted to. "Everything about him. He's a sinner, he makes other people sin." She whispered, "He doesn't look like me or my husband."

"You think he's the devil because of his looks?" He asked.

It was silent for a second before she uttered, "I know he is because of his looks. I tried, I tried so hard to make it so he wouldn't make others sin. So he wouldn't spread such evil into this world."

"Why don't you tell me all about it after you hand him over?" He asked. You could tell all of his words were lies. "If.. If he's in custody with the FBI then he won't be able to spread the evil you speak off."

"Could I.. get rid of him?" She muttered. It was quiet, so quiet that all you could hear was your own breathing until you felt the hand on you shoulder slowly loosen. The knife around your neck moved around and before you knew it you could feel a pair of gentle hands on your upper arms.

You could hear the shuffling next to you and the jiggle of metal as they cuffed the woman next to you. It wasn't until you heard those footsteps echo off into the distance that the one in front of you asked, "Are you alright?"

You only nodded. It wasn't that you had an issue with talking or something, you just didn't want to at the moment.

"I'm gonna take this off, okay?" He asked. Your mind guessed he was taller than you and looked up an inch in turn. It was the first time that someone asked permission to do something to you.

You nodded again and once you did the crinkling the bag ran loud into your ears as the darkness you saw turned into light. When you opened your eyes, you stared at the man in front of you. He was young, maybe in his early or mid 20s. His chestnut hair was on the longer side and did this cute thing were it got curly on the ends. It reached down to his jaw that was sharp. He had pale skin, and had these eyes anyone could get lost in. They were sweet, something you haven't seen in anyone but those woman and your father at times.

The both of you stared at one another for an extended period of time. While you admired the man's features, you thought perhaps he was in shock at how hideous you look. Between the scars and such, you wouldn't be surprised if he thought that. However, the more you looked into his eyes, the more the idea of disgust was pushed from your mind. It was like that emotion wasn't even present as he stared at you.

Though, when he snapped out of his daze, he looked back on his game.

"Hey, there," he uttered calmly. "My name's Spencer Reid. I'm with the FBI, you're gonna be okay, you understand?"

You nodded your head again. You could tell he probably thought you were mute or something so when he started to move away you said aloud, "[Name]."

He was quick to move his head around back at you. The expression on his face was one of shock. He was truly baffled you were speaking, which made you almost retract. Although, I didn't.

"What was that?" He asked in confirmation.

"[Name]." You said more firmly, my natural deeper tone coming through. "That’s my name, since we’re sharing."

This time it was his turn to nod his head a bit, but at the same time, he smiled. It was softer and showed no teeth, but a smile nonetheless. It somehow softened you a tad, almost made you feel vulnerable to an extent. However you knew that it probably had something to die with the fact that he saved your life.

"We're gonna take you somewhere safe. Is that okay with you?" He asked. The second time someone has asked your permission. It truly felt wonderful. It was almost like you mattered, like your feelings were valid.

"Sure," you said. It was at this moment that your turning point would occur and you would be be allowed the freedom to do what you pleased. Something you were deprived of for over fifteen years.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x male reader #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Headcanons #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x male reader #male reader #x male reader #x reader

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milliedazzledust · 4 years

Text

War Rages On: part 2 (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Words: 3234

A/N: Still don’t know where I’m going with this story but I’m really having fun writing this and I hope you’ll like it! Don’t forget to tell me if you want to be tag for the next parts :)

Previously: part 1

Steve had found Bucky deep in the forest of Wakanda. Escorted by the kind T’Challa, he led him to the man they called the White Wolf. He had found his redemption away from mankind. Surrounded by trees and animals, Y/N and him had lived a simple life inside their cottage up until that moment. Before this, Steve had no intention to bring them back. He had planned to come visit the couple but most importantly to let them have their happy ending, to keep them from monsters that had tried so many times to tore them apart. He couldn’t imagine two people more deserving of peace than them. The King of Wakanda had outdone himself to make sure this was achievable.

“Do you remember the last time you saw her ?” Steve asked him.

Bucky sat on a rock near a river, hastily ruffling his hair.

“She left a couple days ago” He recounted. “She had a message from Stark on the burner phone you gave her”

“What did it say ?”

“Need your help asap - Romanoff compromised. An address was attached”

He got worried when he saw Steve dropping his head and rubbing his eyes in frustration. He had known him long enough to guess something was bothering him.

“Buck’, Tony didn’t send anything.” The Soldier confessed.

“What do you mean ?”

The familiar sensation of anxiety started to form in the pit of his stomach despite the lack of information. He knew he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear.

“I don’t know what happened, but somebody pretending to be him wrote that message”

“That’s impossible” He shook his head, refusing to believe him.

“Buck’ ..”

“She left, Steve. She left to go help him” He vehemently cut him. He stood up and started pacing. His friend could see his whole demeanor slowly shifting. “If she’s not with Stark, then where is she ?!”

“I don’t know” The Captain replied. Admitting it to his friend was almost too painful.

“Have you talk to the others ? Do they know anything ?”

He was looking more and more like a madman. His body had already understood what his mind failed to grasp.

“She send Sam an SOS”

“What ?” He said it in a whisper, instantaneously freezing on the spot.

“Bucky, I’m sorry but she’s missing”

“She can’t be” He felt the panic beginning to creep into his chest.

He turned back to look at his friend.

“That’s not … She said she’d be back” He explained, as if it would make perfect sense that she couldn’t be gone, as if that promise had been enough to keep her safe “.. She … She always comes back to me”

He dropped on the floor, the captain barely had enough time to catch him. His breathing became more rapid, more shallow. He felt it hit him like a hurricane. There was a logical explanation, but the only one he could think of was worst than any nightmare.

“Steve if it’s …” He suddenly sounded alarmed.

“It might not be” The Captain answered. He didn’t know which one of them he was trying to convince the most.

“Who else ?”

His friend stayed silent. His mind couldn’t wrapped around the fact that this could be happening, that they were potentially facing another threat.

“They’re still after me” The Sergeant muttered. “It’d make sense”

“Even if it’s Hydra, we’ll still find her” Steve promised.

“What if it’s too late ?” Bucky dared to think about that possibility, his eyes drifting into space.

“It’s not”

The soldier put a comforting hand on the Sergeant’s shoulder. When he glanced up at him, he saw the reassurance he so desperately needed. He knew this look by heart, he had seen it so many time on Steve’s face growing up. He had that same determination every time he went on to fight someone twice his size, the confidence and fierceness that had built Captain America.

“C’mon, get up.” He ordered with force. “We’re gonna find her”

He silently followed him, his mind running a mile an hour. He couldn’t remember a time he had felt so vulnerable. The mere thought of her somewhere with Hydra was enough to reopen his deepest wounds. He knew what they were capable of, he had lived through the endless torture for years and to picture a fraction of it being done on her was too much.

Steve had taken him to a jet. After several hours of flight, they had landed in a location he didn’t recognize. The place looked like headquarters, abandoned in the middle of nowhere. They were surrounded by large trees. When they walked out of the plane, Bucky recognized the distinct sent of mint and pine mixed together. He glanced around, trying to find a clue as to where they were, but all he could see was the woods. No other indication.

“What is this place ?” He asked Steve as they walk inside the building.

Before his friend could answer he heard another voice speaking, the sound resonating on the walls.

“Secure location not far from Warsaw, outside of the radars”

Bucky didn’t hide his surprise when he found himself face to face with Tony Stark. The billionaire saw him tense, his body instinctively going into defense mode.

“At ease, soldier” He sighed. “We’re not here to fight”

Still he didn’t ushered a word and looked back and forth between the two men in front of him. After what had happened between them before he found shelter in Wakanda, he wasn’t sure how to behave around Stark.

“Have you find anything ?” Steve inquired, folding his hands behind his back.

“Sam checked the address you sent me” Stark started to explain. “We were about to take a look at the security footage”

He guided the soldiers to a room that seemed like it had been restored at the last minute. There was a violent contrast between the dust on the floor, the half broken chairs and the high-tech computers Tony had most likely installed. It definitely looked like a hideout. He first noticed Natasha Romanoff leaning on the large table at the center of the room. She was studying a file. Next to her was Sam Wilson, scrolling on a tablet he was holding with intense concentration.

Steve greeted both of them with a simple nod and Bucky noticed the side looks he was being given but chose to not acknowledge them. Stark started to type on his computer and the enormous screen he had placed on one of the wall turned itself on.

“Here’s what we know so far” Tony told them.

Bucky recognized a screenshot of the message sent to Y/N on the burner phone, the very same one he was carrying in his pocket.

“I was not able to trace the id or the location”

As he spoke, Stark watched the Sergeant from the corner of his eyes taking a sit on a half torn armchair.

“But whomever send this was pretending to be me”

“How were they able to get her number ? Only you and I are supposed to have that information” Steve interrogated.

“I’m getting there, Captain.” Tony answered. “Somebody infiltrated my system and discreetly hijacked it to get into classified data”

The Sergeant suddenly raised his head and with a flick of the fingers, Stark projected details of his firewall system on the screen.

“They left a trail. Sloppy work if you ask me”

“Get to the point, Tony” Natasha reminded him.

The man rolled his eyes before continuing his explanations.

“They searched through every files I have on Barnes. What they were looking for exactly? I don’t know, but I have a vague idea”

“My location” Bucky whispered.

“Bingo. They were after you, and when they realized I was smart enough not to put any compromising informations, they moved to plan B”

“What’s plan B ?” Sam severely asked.

“If you can’t find the Winter Soldier, then let him find you.” Stark directly offered the hypothesis.

“They’re using Y/N as leverage” Steve finally understood.

“Exactly”

Bucky rubbed his eyes in frustration. This was looking more and more like Hydra’s modus operandi.

“Who is they ?” Romanoff questioned.

“I might have an answer to that” Sam replied, waving his tablet. “I found something on the security footage”

A video without sound started playing and instantly Bucky stood up. His eyes traveling from one corner of the screen to the other, he was closely studying every movement. Whomever was doing this had smartly brought the woman in the middle of the city and away from any camera that could incriminate them.

“Y/N is waiting in the corner of the street, then this man approaches her. She takes a step back, probably figured out something was wrong.” The Falcon explained. “All we can see is her reaching for her phone behind her back, which we know now was to send an SOS”

“Any identification on the guy ?” Natasha inquired.

“No. He stayed hidden from the cameras. He knew exactly where they were”

“Why didn’t she attack ?” Tony pondered. “She could have taken him easily”

“Busy street” Bucky answered mechanically. “If you want somebody to comply, lure them in the middle of a crowd. One move and someone else die. Works all the time”

“Of course you’d know about that” The billionaire muttered under his breath.

Steve hadn’t talk yet. His eyes were glued to the screen. Something wasn’t adding up and he didn’t know what. He watched the video playing four times, his hands on his hips, deep in concentration.

“Rewind it” He ordered Sam.

The man didn’t question the request and did as he was told. Shape after shape the Captain analyzed every detail until the information he was missing was right in front of him.

“Stop there”

The video froze and they stared at the frame, trying to figure out what he was seeing.

“What is it, Steve ?” The Russian spy inquired.

“Can you zoom in ?” He asked, ignoring the first question.

Tony took the tablet in his hand and started to play with it.

“What am I looking for ?”

“His neck” He simply said. “He has a tattoo”

His friend raised an eyebrow in surprise, but got to work. Typing on his keyboard, he cut the video’s frame, zoomed in and used a program to polish the picture and create a clear image of the ink on the man’s body.

As soon as Bucky saw it, he felt a cold shiver running down his spine. What he feared the most had only been theoretical until then, there was still a slight hope he was wrong, a one percent chance he was holding onto that he wasn’t living his worst nightmare. And all that came crashing down when he recognized the pattern of a skull he knew by heart.

“No..No, no, no, no” He kept repeating, pacing around the room, panic striking in his veins. “This is not happening, this is not…”

The Captain stopped him in his track, putting his hands on his shoulders.

“Buck’ ..”

“They have her, Steve. They have Y/N” He was terrified, and his friend could clearly hear it in his voice.

The others were following their interaction, not yet understanding what was happening. Steve raised his head, still holding his brother emotionally breaking apart, and looked at them with an alarmed expression that did nothing to ease their worry.

“We had our suspicion on who might have pulled up something like this » He told them. « Frankly, I was hoping we were wrong”

“Who is it ?” Romanoff demanded.

“…Hydra” Bucky murmured, his head low and his human hand shaking.

They all tensed in the room and the silence that followed was frightening.

“Are you sure ?” The Falcon asked.

Steve stared at the projecting image on the wall, pursing his lips.

“Yes, Sam. It’s them” He answered with a heavy voice filled with concern.

Bucky felt the tears on his cheeks before he realized he was crying. His breathing had become unsteady and he was slowly faltering. He quickly excused himself and left the building. He needed the air.

He was trying so hard not to panic but he seemed paralyzed. There was suddenly a menacing aura around him, holding him in a tightening grip. He could feel his temperature rising, a clear sign of his anxiety, his fear. It was a living force creeping over him like a hungry beast, fed by the agonizing possibility he might lose her. He started to take shaky small breath, like Y/N had taught him every time he had a panic attack, but without her to guide him, it was useless. His pulse was beating in his ears, blocking all the other sounds, and he was sweating. There was a lump in his throat, an emotion so large it was aching to be released. He wanted to scream, to punch something, to beg for mercy. Alas, he closed his eyes, trying to focus his senses on one thing only, find her.

And just as the thought crossed his mind, he felt the tiny device he had in his pocket vibrate. He took his phone out, but nothing was displayed on the screen. Then he realized it wasn’t the right one. Fishing in his pants, he found was he was looking for and grabbed the burner phone. One message. When he opened it, the color quickly drained from his face.

« She won’t stay alive for long, unless you come home. Not Romania, not Brooklyn, your real home. No Avenger. You know the consequences of disobedience »

Attached to it was a photo. His heart stopped and his metal fist clenched the phone so hard he accidentally broke it when he saw the picture of the woman he loved, arms chained on a ceiling, body dangling in the air and covered in blood. He absently stared at his hands, thinking back to their time in Wakanda, in peace, away from the world. Just the two of them. What a difference a couple of days could make. He knew what he wanted to do. There was not an ounce of hesitation in him, only the desire to make sure she would make it out of there alive.

So engrossed in his own thoughts, he didn’t hear someone creeping in behind him. Natasha silently stood next to him. Was it out of pity or emotional support, he couldn’t tell. She observed him for a moment, furrowing her eyebrows like she was trying to read him, before she turned back to look at the sky.

“You know where she is”

It wasn’t a question but a statement.

“What makes you say that ?”

“Two fossils from the 1930’s with the same instinct of preservation and the same tendencies to make stupid decisions based on emotions. Not exactly hard to put two and two together. You and Steve have a lot in common”

He pursed his lips.

“Are you gonna tell them ?” He asked, looking back at the abandoned building.

“Still debating.” She admitted. “You’re not really stupid, Barnes. You know you can’t take them all by yourself”

“That wasn’t my intention”

“Then what’s your plan ?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to, she could see it in his whole demeanor. It was in the way he stood up straight, in the way he was clenching his jaw, in the way his eyes held so much determination and purpose.

“You don’t intend on coming back, do you ?”

“I can’t let them kill her” He explained.

“A suicide mission is by far the most stupid idea you could come up with”

“It’s the only one I’ve got” He replied, resigned.

He turned to look at her. The calmness he was displaying was enough to know he had made up his mind and honestly, it frightened her.

“I don’t think you know how much she means to me, Natasha. I don’t deserve her love, I really don’t, but somehow she saw something worth fighting for in me. She saw all the cracks, all the flaws and all the mistakes I’ve made and she didn’t run. She stood by my side and fought for me. She’s my sanity. She’s all the good that’s left in me. She’s the name I whisper when I’m scared my memories are fading. I can’t take the risk to lose her because if that happens, I’ll lose myself and there will be no come back this time”

The lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything more and he gulped, trying to make the feeling of anxiety subside.

“Whatever it takes, and whatever I’ll have to do, I swear she will get out of there alive” He nodded to no one in particular, a silent and simple sign he would not change his mind.

“At what cost ? What are we suppose to tell her when you won’t be here anymore ?”

“That I fought for her the same way she did for me”

His response shut her up. His voice held so much serenity and resolve she knew it would be useless to argue. She understood where he was coming from, just like she understood the sacrifice he was ready to make.

“There’s a version of this where we win, Barnes. Keep that in mind. It doesn’t have to end in pain or worse. Fight with everything you’ve got and don’t stop until both of you are safe”

He sadly smiled.

“You’ve definitely spent too much time with Steve”

She rolled her eyes before turning to stand in front of him. She hesitated a moment, words on the tip of her tongue.

“I’m sorry this is happening” She gloomily confessed. “But you know why they want you, right ?”

“The Winter Soldier” He replied, closing his eyes. “They want him back”

“Just so we’re clear here, Bucky, and just in case, you have to be aware that the moment you’ll get there, they will torture you to get him back. Your mind is already damaged, you won’t hold long”

“I just need to hold long enough to get her out of there” He vehemently assured her, gritting his teeth.

“Your plan is to walk out with her” She reminded him, insisting on the words.

He glanced down at her and judging by the look in his eyes, she knew what he was about to ask her before he even spoke.

“If it comes to the worse, if I become … him again …” He started.

“I know” She cut him. He didn’t need to say the word, she knew thinking about it was already more than enough pain for him.

She stood there, watched him get into the jet him and Steve had taken to get there, and did nothing. It was useless to try to convince him to stay, he was too stubborn to listen. And she knew this was his best shot at getting back the woman he loved alive. She was aware Hydra would not spare the lovers and she prayed they were ready for the fight that was ahead of them. The Avengers would find them eventually, hopefully before it was too late. She turned around when she saw the jet flying in the air and walked silently back inside the building. She would keep that conversation and the promise she had made a secret, and hope whatever Bucky had planned, it would be enough to prevent the worse from happening.

Tag list: @briannareneea985 - @bangtanxberm - @kissmyoops - @steve-is-daddy

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier imagines #the winter soldier imagine #falcon and the winter soldier #Winter Soldier #winter soldier imagine #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier imagines #tfatws #fatws

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asuka--langley--soryu · 4 years

Note

hey do you know any blogs/sites etc that „explain” nge episode by episode? not the plot but rather the symbolism and themes

oh man anon I dearly wish I could say yes but unfortunately if something like this exists then I don’t know about it :/ instead what I can offer are some links to some meta/analysis/essays and hopefully that might help or at least give you a place to start?

so there is always the evageeks wiki which can provide a basic amount of info on some thematic elements, and at the very least is reasonably good for lore explanations. I feel kind of eyeroll about evageeks and their general community perspective, but if you need a good jumping off point i think this might be useful for that.

when i first started this blog there was a user called ritsumaya who put out some realllyyy interesting and in-depth meta. they deleted a while ago unfortunately but i believe most of their stuff as been archived at @ritsumaya2. None of the posts are tagged or organized in any way so it’s a little hard to navigate but worth perusing/searching through imo.

Someone did reupload their analysis of asuka specifically in a slightly more readable format so I’ll link that here separately. I 100% rec checking it out, it has some really really good thoughts on her character and informed a lot of my own interpretations back in the day. I do think they go a little too into the pathologizing angle which (if it wasn’t clear from my last post lol) I don’t agree with and largely ignore, but, aside from that, I think it’s super interesting.

in terms of other blogs, off the top of my head qmisato and adamworu put out good meta p often and also have organized tagging systems, so you might want to look at their stuff. i’m gonna glance through my archive and tag some of the meta ive rb-ed in the past, and will try to consistently tag it from now on so as to have somewhere to reference in the future. Plus I probably should have been doing that already but im like yknow a big carnival idiot and consistently cannot keep organized no matter how potentially beneficial it would be for me :)

There are some papers on nge in my thesis sources drive, so if youre looking for something a lil more academic/theory based then you could check those out. Specifically I recommend the Ortega and Napier essays. Link for that’s here.

theres def other blogs on here im forgetting, as well as just other sources in general. pls feel free to drop recs in the replies if you have em!! this was just the stuff i could pull from the top of my head/knew where to find so its by no means comprehensive and i am by no means the like end all be all in nge meta archiving. also, as usual, i’m not sanctioning 100% of every word written in the things I rec, so dont hold me to their opinions.

i hope this helps at least a little bit!

(ps: ik reddit has analysis threads or whatever but i’ve never read anything on there id recommend so ymmv on that front )

(pps: also ive never watched any of those youtube video essays or whatever about nge and never will [im just like instinctively repelled by anime youtubers that arent miss watchmojo dot com top 10 list lady] so i have literally no idea about their quality on any level. ik they exists and maybe could be helpful to you if you prefer a non-written resource?)

#nge #evangelion #asks #meta #nge meta #the watchmojo thing is both a joke and not. i dont think theyre good and rarely agree w them #but my friends and i used to watch them obsessively #otoh i have nothing really against anime yters i just cant make myself watch that kind of thing #but im really very picky about youtube content #Anonymous #mine

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irondadfics · 4 years

Note

Do you have any good fics with mainly Peter and happy? I feel like I don’t see enough of that relationship

Here you go lovelies! For more fics check out our Happy Hogan tag!

Peter & Happy-centric

A Certain Kind of Stubbornness by friendlyneighborhoodsecretary @friendlyneighborhoodsecretary

"There was something different about being a superhero's right-hand man. Happy knew it in his gut. It bred a certain kind of protective loyalty that didn't spring from anything less than looking after someone the rest of the world was out to get on a regular basis. A fierce doubtfulness about the motives of anyone who so much as looked sideways at them. A withering dislike of anyone who stood in the way of protecting them. A lack of trust in anyone but yourself." Regardless of whether you're Forehead of Security or The Guy in the Chair, it isn't easy when your best friend's a superhero.

“Told You He’s A Good Kid” (series) by friendlyneighborhoodsecretary @friendlyneighborhoodsecretary

Happy Hogan may not exactly be the cool uncle, but he tries his best. A collection of moments in which Happy looks after the kid his boss/best friend accidentally acquired and who Happy himself would definitely not/maybe/absolutely would fight a Titan for.

Good Company by friendlyneighborhoodsecretary @friendlyneighborhoodsecretary

There are certain things even Peter Parker doesn't talk about on those endless commutes upstate; Ben Parker is one of them.

Weekend at Happy’s by Marvelous_Writer @marvelous-writer

With May away, Peter stays at Happy’s for the weekend but things don’t go as planned when Peter suddenly gets sick.

we're going on a trip (in our favourite rocket ship) by jaybaybay @jaybaybay-01

“Mm.. S’ark?” Peter mumbled and rolled onto his side, cuffs clinking against the metal headboard as he shifted.

“Hey, Pete, you with me now?” Happy's heart was filled with relief at the sound of Peter's voice. It was heavily slurred from all the drugs, but the kid was coherent enough at last to form syllables. It was music to Happys ears. “Tony’s not here yet, but he’s on his way.”

Peters glassy eyes found Happy's face and he smiled; chunks of vomit still evident in his teeth. “ ‘e iss?”

“Yeah, cause you hit your panic button.” Peter frowned suddenly and his glazed eyes lazily trailed to his now bare wrist. Happy startled, “You… you hit your panic button, right Peter?” Peter swallowed slowly and let his eyes droop shut. Happy wished that he imagined the slight shake of his moppy brown head. “Why didn’t you hit your panic button?!” Happy hissed through his teeth.

Peter exhaled, “Wasn’ panicked.” Happy's brain short circuited.

“You weren’t- you… Peter we’ve been kidnapped.” Happy couldn’t comprehend it. This was very, very bad. This whole time Happy had been trusting that Peter had hit that stupid button on his watch and now…

Well, now they were screwed.

you'll be, kid, a man, kid, if nothing goes wrong by butmomilovemyboys

“Promise you’re real?” He choked out, his voice small. Happy nodded. “I promise. Really.” Peter nodded back, clearing his throat. He pulled away himself, wiping his eyes on his eyes on the bright orange shirt he wore. Happy put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “God, what happened? Why are we in the Netherlands?” (And he almost asks where Tony is. Sometimes his brain doesn’t catch up.) ~ SMFFH SPOILERS!!

This Can’t Be Real by Howlingdawn

FAR FROM HOME SPOILERS AHEAD. After Mysterio's final act, Happy finds and reassures Peter that they'll protect him. Truth is, though, he's just as scared as the kid.

Sacred Spaces by FerretShark @ferretshark

May doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but Happy persists. He’ll make it a great idea. Him and the kid, five days in the great outdoors. It will be fine.

“We’ll do all the camping things. What’s not to love about camping?” Happy asks.

May pauses mid-fold on a pair of her jeans, “I don’t know. He’s just not an outdoorsy kind of kid.”

regret by peter_parkerson @peter-parkerson

The kid’s annoying.

It’s a fact. The kid talks too much, too fast, and it’s annoying. That’s just how it is.

He wishes that was a good excuse for ignoring the calls. And the texts. And the incessant, unnecessarily long voicemails. He wishes he'd kept a closer eye on the kid because then maybe he wouldn't have missed his own Homecoming to fight his date's dad. He wishes his negligence hadn't indirectly caused a world of trauma for a high school sophomore.

He can't fix it now, but he can at least try to make amends.

Peter seems like a pretty forgiving kid.

Tough Love by samos7

Peter calls Happy in distress after May doesn't come back to the apartment one night. Happy doesn't know how to deal with emotions.

driving lessons by sapphirestark @sapphirestark

Happy cleared his throat. “Right then. Next, gears.” He gestured towards the console and Peter’s eyes widened.

“I’m learning stick shift?” All Peter knew about manual transmission was that it was way more difficult and much harder to get right. “Happy, I don’t know –“

“If you can’t drive stick shift, you can’t drive.”

Irondad w/a lot of Peter & Happy

I'm Not Your Babysitter by Mrs_N_Uzumaki

“I can’t take this anymore, Tony.” The end of the rope that was Happy’s already little patience has been reached. “I am an asset manager, not a babysitter.”

(A "missing scene" in Homecoming.)

I Really Need Somebody To Call My Own by losingmymindtonight @losingmymindtonight

Tony didn’t even know when he started getting jealous of Happy. It had been nice, at first, watching him and Peter get so close. Tony couldn’t be around all the time, and Happy still lived in the city, mostly to be close to May, so it was reassuring to have someone watching the kid’s back while he was watching Morgan’s. It had also helped, in a cynical sort of way, that Peter struggled with the transition. After all, he’d come back from the Snap to his aunt in an entirely new relationship. Not only that, she was in a relationship with someone the kid knew. There were bound to be growing pains, and Tony was the one Peter always went to with them, ranting through video chats at 2:00 am. It had made him feel important, like he was becoming part of the kid’s structural foundation. And then Happy had moved in with the Parkers, which had thrown everyone for a loop, and the months had blended together, and suddenly Happy was an integral part of Peter’s structural foundation, too. -- Or, Tony questions his role in Peter's life. Naturally, he spirals.

Not-Uncle Tony by Jen27ny @jen27ny

“I just… got some news.” “Bad news?” For a second, he thinks Happy is about to say yes. Instead, he turns around to him, eyes full of a nervousness Tony didn’t know the man is capable of. “I’m going to be a father.”

~~~~~

This is the story of Peter Hogan. Yes, that's right. Happy is Peter's biological father, and Tony is there for the entire ride.

Damage Control by PechoraFlow

This was bad. His phone rang, echoing around the small bathroom and causing him to flinch. He answered the phone and put it on speaker without looking at the Caller ID. He grabbed an extra roll of toilet paper, thinking that, if he had a prayer of making it home, he had to at least staunch the blood flow. “Hello?” “Hey, kid, are you still here?” This was worse.

Or, after landing the plane on Coney Island in "Spider-Man: Homecoming", Peter isn't as unscathed as he likes to think he is.

#fic rec list #happy hogan

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