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elphiej · 4 years ago

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Be My Light - Chapter 4: The Mad Leader

*Genre: Mafia, angst, eventual smut, slow burn

*Warnings: References to violence, minor assault,

Author’s note: First off, I’d like to send a special Thank You to someone who was a huge inspiration to me and to this story. This is the chapter that really started it all and I was inspired by @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng ‘s mafia reaction series. She is a fantastic person and was one of the first people I showed this Be My Light to when I was too scared to post it. She is a beautiful soul and wonderful writer. Thank you for the push.

Another Big thanks to my editor for sticking with me all this time and into the future. And, of course, to all the people who are reading, commenting, and reblogging this. I can’t tell you all how much is means to me. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy this next installment of Be My Light. (P.S. I have a thing for RM in a long trench coat.)

Tag list: @lolalalooo @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine , @mrsfortune1306 , @lovesick-heart0 , @iamnamjoonsbxtch , @deathkat657 , @deeepvibes , @sugamonster22 , @weiinihao, @hemmofluke , @rainbow-zebra-unicorns , @joyfullyobsessed , @elvencantation ,

Chapter 4: The Mad Leader

You stared at the cell phone clutched in your hand, your mind spinning with so many questions. Who were those people? Why did talking to this ‘RM’ make you feel like something bad was coming? With that deep, serious tone, were they just as dangerous as the man with the cane? And what kind of normal person calls themselves ‘RM’? Agust was already on the edge of interesting and odd as it was. Scanning over the still lit screen, you wondered what other names were in the contact list. Other than ‘God of Destruction’, the last few calls you could see without going through the device belonged to ‘Mochi’, ‘My Favorite’, and ‘Worldwide Pain in my Ass’. Based on those names, you couldn’t begin to imagine who was gonna match those names.

It was safe to assume that this RM guy was concerned about the man in the suit trying to finish the job. The hospital had a good security team but you thought it best to talk to Doctor- Henry- to see if more could be done. Your hand paused as it went to put the cell phone back with Agust’s things; if RM or any of the odd named voices tried to contact you for an update, they would most likely call that, instead of trying to navigate the hospital switch board. Figuring it was the best option, you placed the phone safely in your scrub’s pocket as you moved to the bedside for one last check on the patient. Agust hadn’t moved again since right before the phone call and was still as could be. The monitors were all reading normally. There was a blood transfusion line in his arm to help replace what he had lost, along with another IV pushing fluids and medication. You adjusted his arm to make it more comfortable for him once he woke up.

“I’ll be back to check on you as soon as I can,” you said as you fixed his blankets. “Please, try not to do anything until I get back.”

You slipped out of the room and pulled the door shut behind you. There was an anxious feeling that crept back into your gut, the same one you felt when you had first heard the gun shots ring out from the silence of the construction site. Your mind had so many thoughts and scenarios running through it that you felt overwhelmed. Things like, ‘what if the man with the cane and rough voice came here? Would he shoot his way through the floors until he found Agust? Were you really as safe as you hoped?’ The hospital had been under a few threats but nothing had ever come from those except words. It would be best to stay as cautious as possible. You had too many friends and patients to not take your feelings seriously.

As you made your way towards your station, you were surprised to see that Henry was already there leaning over the desk with the phone pressed up against his ear. He pulled a pad of paper from the other side of the desk and started scribbling something down as he nodded and spoke in a low tone to whomever was on the other end. That saves me from having to page him, you mused. Henry did a double take towards you when he noticed you out of the corner of his eye. He beaconed you over with an urgent wave of his hand. The calm yet awkward demeanor from earlier had been replaced with a more serious one. Once you were within an arm’s reach of him, he reassured whomever he was talking to that ‘everything will be taken care of’ and hung up.

“Good,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I need you to help me.”

“Henry, about that John Doe patient. I was able to talk to someone close to him. I think we may need to alert the security team about- “

“I’ve already talked to them. The hospital is going on alert for any suspicious activity entering the hospital. And we are actually moving the patient to one of the private units upstairs. I just got off the phone with the director and we’ve got everything worked out for you so you’ll be safe,” he said over his shoulder as he started walking down the hall.

“Wait, what does that mean? What do you mean by worked everything out?” You took extra long steps to keep up with his brisk pace.

“The same person who demanded higher security for that patient requested that you be kept with him as his private staff until otherwise. Which means you’ll be in the secure ward with him in case anything happens. It’s gonna be for the best. You were the first one with him and it’s gonna be more comfortable if he doesn’t have to get acclimated to someone else after all this. Don’t worry, we’ve got it worked out with Jax already.”

Henry led you back into Agust’s room and made fast work of disconnecting him from the machines that surrounded him. He pulled the IV bags down and placed them on the bed by the still form. Meanwhile, you were frozen at the end of the bed, feeling dizzy from how fast he seemed to expect you to understand what was happening. This wasn’t the first gang related case you had been assigned to since starting at Mercy, nor was it the first gunshot case; why did this sudden change to the routine make you feel ever more nervous? Never had you moved a patient into a secure wing designed from more severe or quarantined patients before just because someone had requested it. Henry called your name to shake you from your thoughts and motioned you to move to the side of the bed as he unlocked the wheels of the gurney and pushed the bed from the wall. As you helped guide it from the room, you couldn’t help but feel the tension grow.

“So, I am just supposed to stay locked up in some room like a prisoner? And be someone’s private nurse? What about the rest of my patients here? I can’t just leave Amber to tend to them all alone. We are short staffed as it is,” you mentioned as you navigated everyone into the elevator at the end of the hall.

Henry hit a button and the elevator started to move. He leaned close to look you in the face, his eyes filled with seriousness. “Listen, Y/N, I know this is strange but you just have to trust me. I don’t know all the details but someone particularly important has to be involved to make the director so quick to comply with whatever they asked. But no matter what, your safety is my priority, maybe a bit more than my patients. I’m sure the director thinks that too. Whoever it is must just want to make sure this guy has the best care possible. And when he gets here, he’ll probably want to hear from you what happened. And if whatever gang did this does try anything, I don’t want you to worry because no one is going to get to him or you. Only the director, you, and I will have access to this room or know where he is. Apparently, the man the director talked to said he would have a way to get a hold of you and prove his identity to gain access. I know how you are, Y/N, you are a great person. That’s why you’re so good at what you do. But don’t think that you are inconveniencing anyone; Jax has already rearranged everything and made some calls. I really need you to think about yourself now. And what is best is for you is to do what I am asking and not over think this right now.”

Henry was being so sincere that you couldn’t find the voice to make any arguments. You gave him a weak nod and tried to take what he said to heart. As Amber had pointed out before, one of your qualities was that you put others well before yourself. Hence, why you were in this predicament. As the doors opened onto the new floor, you promised him that you would try.

The door opened onto a floor where the more severe, long term patients were kept. This floor could, also, be used for quarantining or the more delicate of patients. At the moment, you knew it had only a few occupants: a coma patient, a patient suffering from extreme burns, and someone from the psych ward that needed more focused attention. To enter this ward, you needed a key card, making this more isolated than your full and frantic floor. Henry commented there was no record that Agust had been moved in any of the files. And if anyone tried to look him up, it would be like he never existed. The person who had called to make all this happen had said he’d contact you and that he and his colleagues were to say they were here to perform community service if asked by anyone else. Apparently, they deemed it as security protection. Henry had you swipe your ID to gain access to the floor and you made your way down the silent hall to the vacant room Henry had staked out for you to stay in. The room was bigger than the one you were used to on your floor. There was a small couch across from where the bed was to go, a private bath off near the entrance, and even a TV in the corner. There was, also, a small recliner near where the head of the gurney was to rest. You imagined you’d be there most of the time. Henry helped you set everything back up in the room and did a quick check on the patient after he was secured in his new residence.

“Hopefully, he’s gonna wake up a bit soon. He’s reacting well to what I’m doing,” Henry commented as he checked Agust’s pupils constrict as he shined his pen light in them. He gave some instructions about his IV and transfusion processes. He gave you a quick run down of the floor in case you needed anything. “Until he wakes up, I guess feel free to do whatever in here. It can be like a mini vacation. You know, if you ignore all the weird stuff happening. You can watch some TV or order some food. The mysterious man said to spare no expense when it came to our patient or you. I promise by Friday this will be all over and we can go out and talk about nicer things. Okay?”

Before you could stop yourself, you felt your cheeks get hot and you turned your eyes to the floor. This was not the best place for this, but you knew Henry did it to only ease the anxiety you were feeling. He was almost too perfect. Henry promised to check in once he had finished his rounds as he left from the room and pulled the door shut behind him. You heard the security lock click into place, knowing it would only open from the inside or if you had an ID card. You allowed yourself to drop into the recliner, allowing everything to wash over you. Paranoia was thick in the air as you tried to make sense of everything. Henry was right; whoever these people were they must just want to talk to you and this was easier than scouting the halls. But the thought did very little to chase the nervousness away. Your hands started to rub together out of tension, squeezing your fingers, cracking your knuckles one by one with your thumbs. You took a few deep breaths as you tried to force yourself out of the impending panic. Your eyes looked over at the bed. You tried to remind yourself that you needed to keep it together and be strong for him. Then your eyes landed on his hand. You remembered when you were hiding behind the counter when the man with the cane was getting closer and closer. And when Agust had reached over and squeezed your hand. In that moment, he gave you reassurance with such a small gesture, not thinking of himself. You remembered how genuine it felt. It’d be nice if you could do that now, you thought with a weak smile.

Instead, you settled for forcing yourself to think of something else. You read through his charts, tapped through some news on your phone, and tried to people watch out the window behind the couch. The afternoon sun had started making its way towards the horizon; how quickly the day had ended up flying by. You had decided against turning on the television for now, thinking how awkward it would be for him to wake up to you watching some trash TV show. You tried walking around the room to get a sense of where you’d be staying for the foreseeable future. But all of that only killed twenty minutes and you were still stir-crazy. There wasn’t much you could do for Agust at the moment, except allow him to rest without you trying to hold his hand or anything else.

Suddenly, there was a buzzing in your pocket; it was Agust’s phone. You were a bit ashamed at how quickly you reached for it. There was a new text message. It was from a new named contact: Sunshine. The preview of the message said, ‘To Miss Nurse’, making your assumption that the people on the other end would have expected you to keep the phone on you correct. And since it was addressed to you, you didn’t feel too bad about opening the phone again. You swiped open the text and tried not to scroll anywhere higher into their previous chats.

- Sunshine: To Miss Nurse. if you see this, please take good care of our Hyung. And if he gives you any trouble, tell him I said to behave. RM should be almost there. He tends to speed.

There were a couple silly emojis next to it that made you smile. Surely, they can’t be bad people if this is how they communicate. They must be close friends. Though, you still wondered how they had gotten the director to do all this. Maybe there was someone else doing all of this? You shook your head and typed a quick message back, so not to have them worry.

- I’ll take good care of him. That’s my job.

You really hoped Agust didn’t mind you messing with his phone. Though, you figured it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission in this scenario. There was no response which made you think that it was all he needed at the time. Gazing at the clock on the phone, you had wasted thirty minutes in the room so far. You thought of your backpack in the locker room a few floors down and some of your things at your stations that you could pass the time with. Since Agust was secure here, you thought it may be a good idea to gather some things to help you waste time until this RM shows up. It was unlikely that Agust was going to wake up yet, and you could be fast so he wouldn’t be alone for long. You slipped the phone back into your pocket and rose from the chair, heading for the door. You cast one more look at the still figure in the bed before dimming the lights and pulled the door shut behind you.

You set off at a brisk pace for the elevator and took it down a few levels to where the staff locker room was kept. You raced in, pulled your bag from your locker, and left before anyone noticed you. You were sure since the director had put the whole hospital on alert that everyone was making rounds to keep eyes everywhere. You hoped grabbing your stuff from your station was just as easy; you weren’t sure about how to explain why you had suddenly deserted your station. Amber wasn’t there but you could hear her and Jax talking loudly from a back room. You wanted to talk to your best friend, to help ease some nerves and have her tell you exactly what you needed to hear. But you didn’t want to wait around or take her away from her new workload. You pulled open the drawer where you kept some personal items, incase of slower work days, and shoved them into your bag. You froze when your fingers hit against something that you knew, instantly, should not be in your bag. Peering into the opening, your eyes locked onto a metallic, black, studded object that you had seen earlier that morning.

The gun Agust had placed in your hand.

How did that get in there? You didn’t remember grabbing it unless it had happened in the chaos of the EMTs and police rushing to assess the situation. Well, if you weren’t already anxious, this just made it worse. Let’s just add this to the ever-growing list of stupid things I’ve done today, you berated yourself. You brought a potentially loaded gun into a hospital. You needed to get back up to the room and get this out of your possession. Maybe when this RM got there, he could take it from you. You pulled the bag shut and slugged it over your shoulder, trying hard not to think about it.

You moved away from the desk and down the hall towards the elevator. But as you stepped into the silent hall with all the doors closed, one was not closed as it had been when you left; the room where Agust had been. And there was someone looking inside. There was a man, tall and stocky, and dressed in a simple navy uniform. He wasn’t a part of the hospital staff and you didn’t think he was there to clean the room with the lights still off. Trying to stay as unnoticed as you could, you took longer strides towards the end. As you passed behind him, you peered beyond him into the pitch blackness of the room to just make out another figure lurking there. He wasn’t dressed in the same way as the man in the door. He was in darker colors that you couldn’t make out and wore what looked like a fedora on his head. What caught your attention as you passed, was the small peek of icy, blue hairs that were just visible on the side. A deep grumble that sounded from the room made your breath catch in your throat, and made you stop in your tracks. It sounded so familiar to the sadistic voice from this morning. The man with the cane had gotten into the hospital?! How, they upped security measures, hadn’t they? Maybe it was your imagination playing with you with all the stress. Not wanting to stick around to figure out if you were right, you tried to get away before they had noticed you.

But, sadly, you weren’t that lucky.

“Excuse me, nurse. Perhaps you can help me.”

You felt your whole body stiffen as the voice was all to clearly the one that had stalked you from beyond the counter. The voice that dripped with crazed malice and venom as he called out for Agust, that had taunted and tried to lure him out. The voice that you were sure would haunt your dreams. It was the man with the cane, though he didn’t have it now. As you turned, he looked nothing like the half-crazed man yelling and destroying things around him. He looked almost normal, save for the fake smile he had plastered across his lips. He was no longer dressed in the light blue suit and fur coat you had caught a glimpse behind the counter, but in a simple dark blazer and trousers. The man who lingered in the doorway had come to stand next to him as they walked up to you, dressed in a police uniform. His uniform cap was pulled low to obscure his face, though you could see bruising and swelling through the shadows. Both of them gave a slight bow to you.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Taop, this is officer Chen. We are here following up on a patient that was supposed to be brought here. I’ve been looking everywhere, but no one has an answer for me whether he is here or not. And I haven’t seen a single worker on this floor.”

He had never seen you at the scene so you knew he didn’t recognize you, or could see that you didn’t believe anything that was coming out of his mouth. That would help you, you decided. You took a deep breath and tried to hide the fear and nervousness. Just act normal. Try to stall until someone comes around.

“Sorry, officer, we’re a bit understaffed as it is. What can I help you with?”

“I’m looking for a patient that was brought here. Gunshot victim, a young man, brought in this morning?”

“Can you be a bit more specific? We are a hospital. Do you know how many young men we have come in here with some kind of bullet wound? I had six this month.”

You saw the smile slip and irritation rise in those cold eyes. He cleared his throat, trying to hold on to his polite composure. “This one would have come in this morning. There was a shooting downtown. He would have had multiple gunshot wounds. One nurse said he was brought in by ambulance this morning, but then another said that they found no record of him. And the last person I talked to sent me here. Please, this is very important.”

“Can I see your badge, sir?” He looked completely off guard by the question. You, also, seemed confused. It had just jumped out of your mouth before you realized it. But it seemed like the right thing to ask. You continued, “There’s been a threat made to the hospital, you see, and I need to make sure that everything is in order. I would get in trouble if I gave such information about any patient to an imposter.”

You could see the wheels in his head turning. But you didn’t expect him to nod his head, understandingly, and reach into his pocket to hand you a leather, bifold wallet. Was this psycho really a police officer? How could someone so vile be in law enforcement? You thought back to what little memories of your father that you had lingering in the back of your mind and couldn’t begin to imagine him doing anything like what this man had done, no matter how bad of a criminal they were. Before you could think, your body seemed to act on it’s own again and opened the wallet and your eyes started to dance across the metal shield. You weren’t entirely sure what you were looking for at first. Until your eyes caught it and something clicked in your mind. It was a fake, but an exceptionally good fake. Anyone else would have just taken it at face value but something in your mind flashed and screamed that this was a fake like the smile still on the ‘inspector’s’ face. In the reaches of your memory, you remembered running your fingers over your father’s badge, memorizing every detail. And you still did that when you were stressed out; you still had his badge and it was currently in the front pocket of your bag. And you seemed to recall your father teaching you how to identify a real badge from others.

A sudden anger took hold of you that seemed to spur on some brave part of you. You closed the wallet and handed it back to him, keeping your face neutral to hide that you were even more sure of his act. Maybe it was the dishonor to officers like your father, or that he was trying to get to the boy you had risked a lot to save. And your hard work was not going to waste. “I’m sorry officer. But like I said, we have a few patients that could fit your description. None on this floor at all. And if the other nurses said they have no record of him, I’m not sure what I can do for you. Besides that, if we did have a patient come in with multiple gunshot wounds, I imagine that they’d need extensive surgery and wouldn’t be conscious to answer any questions you could have. And with no guardian to act in their place until they are awake to consent to a line of questioning about a traumatic experience, I can’t let you go any further. You should know that, Officer.”

The smile was wiped from the man’s face. The uniformed man’s eyes got wide at your declaration and they shifted towards his leader in panic. Taop, or whatever his real name was, straightened up and took a step towards you. He towered over you and the energy radiating from him would have intimidated you into submission. Just like with your ex. But you needed to protect Agust. In any case, all you needed to do was scream and someone would be alerted. There wasn’t much this asshole could accomplish without being found out. But he continued to advance until he backed you up against the wall. Even still, you never broke eye contact with him.

“I don’t think you understand the situation of this, little girl,” he said, rage tittering on the edge of his voice. “There are some really dangerous people and it would be a shame if you got caught in the crossfires. It’s in your best interest to answer my questions and tell me what I need to know.”

“Then bring a warrant,” you challenged.

His hand collided with the wall next to your head, making you jump. His face was so close to yours now, and there was the crazed man you remembered from this morning. Your heart was in your ears. He, suddenly, took a deep inhale then another before tilting his head to the side. “What a brave little girl. Tell me, where were you this morning? Something tells me you may be exactly who I need to talk to.”

“Hey, back off her!”

Both you and the man turned to look down the hall towards the elevator towards the source of the deep voice that had interrupted the line of questioning. The doors of the elevator were opened and from them stepped a young man with platinum white hair. His eyes were haunting and strong, like a dragon woken from his peace. He was exceptionally tall, taking long strides towards the scene. You couldn’t help but let your eyes take in the man who was coming to your rescue. Dressed in a dark trouser and a white buttoned up shirt gave him a classic handsomeness, and a long black coat with a hood drawn up that accentuated his height. As he approached, he slid the hood down and swiped his hand up to push the stray white hairs from his face. If you weren’t terrified, you would have appreciated how handsome he was. You glanced back at the man caging you; his body tensed as the newcomer walked up but his face never showed.

He let out a sigh and a small smile reappeared, but it was not the same he had tried to charm you with. It was one of arrogance. “Ah, Mr. Kim,” the inspector said, not moving from his position, “how nice of you to drop in.”

“You’ve got some nerve,” the handsome newcomer said, his tone low and smooth.

“What for? Being too formal? Do you not like me using your surname? I’m not sure which name you prefer now; you change names so often, it’s hard to keep up after all this time.”

“You’re one to talk. What name are you going by now, officer? Here to investigate a fraud? Or are you here to put yourself into more trouble?”

��Such a negative attitude. Officer Chen and I are here on official business,” the detective flashed his badge at the so named Mr. Kim. “And this nice young lady was willing to help me out with some information. Isn’t that right, Little Girl?”

“It sure doesn’t look that way coming from the elevator. I think you need to take a step back,” Mr. Kim ordered with a strong but suggestive tone that made you question what kind of power someone as young looking as him could possess.

The fake detective made no sign that he was planning on heeding the newcomer’s words to move from your personal space. His eyes shifted from Mr. Kim back to you. His stare bore into you sharper than claws and made your breath catch. You weren’t sure if he was trying to scare you into agreeing with him or just threaten you. But Mr. Kim was having none of that; he gave the older man’s shoulder a hard shove and wedged himself in the space between you to keep you away from the other man. Mr. Kim reached a hand behind him and placed it on your arm, to keep you secure behind him and to give you some reassurance that he was not going to hurt you. You couldn’t help yourself, as you fisted your hands into the back of his coat and peered around his massive frame.

“You always have to play savior, don’t you Rapmon?” The way he had said the name made it seem like he was trying to strike a nerve in Mr. Kim. But the other man gave no sign that he was bothered. “You make it seem like I was doing something unseemly to her. You and your broken boy scouts always turn things difficult. Speaking of, where are the others? Maybe they could answer some questions for me. There’s one in particular I’m interested in seeing. I’m checking up on a victim from a shooting downtown. Just making sure he’s doing alright.”

“You’re really committed to this bit, aren’t you Choi? Oh, sorry- what name are you going by today? It’s so hard to keep track, isn’t that what you said?” Mr. Kim tilted his head to the side, eyes twinkling with a mischievous shine.

“What a nuisance you are. I’m just trying to get information to make sure things go well. Though come to think of it, your boys may not know much. Word was that the victim was all alone. Left all by themselves, bleeding and hurt in such a dangerous situation. What kind of friends would let someone knowingly go into that situation alone? Now, I’d really like to finish my conversation with the little lady, Rapmon.” When Choi, as you figured his name actually was, took a step towards you, Mr. Kim moved the both of you to keep you behind him and further away from the other. “Well, since you seem hellbent on keeping me from doing something so simple, I could always ask you. Though to be honest, your being here may have answered my questions.”

“My being here answers nothing,” Mr. Kim challenged. “Unlike you, I am here to do good for the community. And it’s a good thing I came by when I did. You’re already on thin ice after all the trouble you’ve caused. Imagine what would happen if you caused any problems while on Hallowed Ground. If you were to hurt anyone staying or working here, you would have more than my family looking for you. The rest of the Families would be looking to teach you a lesson. Imagine what most of them will think when they hear about the deceit you pulled this morning. After what I witnessed, you can be sure I’ll have eyes monitoring this place. You will not go against the Accords.”

“Don’t you lecture me about the Accords, you psycho. I’ve been around just as long as they have and lived them. I taught them to you.”

“And yet, you only follow them when they suit you. Just like your leader and his before him. But things are different now. They are gone, and your hold is slipping. I have enough pull now to ensure Accords are followed. And if you want to make a further spectacle of yourself, I’ll gladly show you I’m not that kid anymore that you ordered around. You saw what my boys can do when pushed. Try me.”

Choi started to laugh, eyes shining in disbelief at the younger bossing him around. As you peered around Mr. Kim’s frame, you saw him go to say something to officer Chen, but couldn’t form the word. He raised his hand towards the white-haired man, but let it drop with a growl. Whatever look was set upon the elder made him rethink his next move. He settled for raising his hands in a surrender and jerking his head towards his companion to tell him they were leaving. It surprised you that he was giving up so easily after how he had acted towards you. You weren’t sure what Mr. Kim meant by accords and families, but it was more than obvious that it meant something to them. Glancing up at your protector, his face remained locked in the same stern and serious mask he had when he had appeared. His eyes, perfectly lined and accentuated with makeup that only made him more intriguing, followed the pair as they turned down the hall.

But before they could get too far, Choi stopped. He turned enough to gaze at the two of you over his shoulder, the dark and manic gleam from that morning flashing like a warning sign. He chuckled before his teasing and taunting voice that had called out to Agust filled the hall like glass shattering. “Look at how far our little maniac has come. Really living up to the title of Mad Leader, aren’t you? He thinks he’s so big and strong that he can just order me around and act like a knight in shining armor to the weak. The Mad Leader’s trying so hard to put up a front, to hide who he is, to hide the other side of the looking glass. But lest he forget, I know things he wouldn’t want others to know. And I seem to recall,” Choi turned fully around and took a full stride back towards Mr. Kim, “you had an issue with places like this. You don’t enjoy being here. Are you falling down the rabbit hole? You even have an Alice this time it would seem. So tell me, Mad Leader, are the walls closing in on you yet? Are you feeling anxious?”

You could feel Mr. Kim tense up at the name ‘Mad Leader’ each time Choi said it. He took a deep breath, trying to ground himself. He gave you a polite push away from him before fixing Choi with a glare that made officer Chen startle. You could almost feel the air change as he stepped up to be nose to nose with the thug.

“Since you can’t seem to remember my name, asshole, let me spell it out for you. It’s RM, R to the M. And I’m a motherfucking monster. Keep pushing me. I dare you. You hurt one of my boys. You better pray that he makes it out of all this ok. Or you’ll see just how ‘mad’ I can get.”

Chen seemed to realize that something bad was building as he took hold of his superior and pulled him away from RM, newly identified. Choi kept the taunting smile spread across his lips as he allowed Chen to lead him away. Before he got too far, he looked over at you and gave a nod, “We’ll be in touch, Little Girl.” And then he disappeared from the floor, leaving you in the presence of RM. You can’t say you had expected this person to belong to the voice on the other end of the phone, but it would seem like that was the theme of the day. The tall man took a few deep breaths and ran his hand through his white hair before turning back to you. The serious mask he had worn had slipped away and was more approachable. He straightened his clothes before returning to your side.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said, “But he shouldn’t be back. He talks a good game but he knows when he’s out done. Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head. “I can’t believe he got in. The hospital is on lock down.”

“Well, he’s been around a while. He has his ways. Now that he’s gone, I was hoping you could help me. I’m looking for a nurse called Y/N.” You locked eyes with him and gave him a nod of affirmation. He gave you a smile, showing off a pair of dimples in his cheeks that made him much more innocent and sweeter than the man who had gone nose to nose with the monstrous thug. “That’s a coincidence. Nice to meet you. Can you show me where to go?”

“Prove that you’re who you say you are,” you said, taking a step away from him. Despite that you were sure he was the one you had talked to, it seemed like nothing was safe. He looked at you for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone before letting his finger glide across the screen. A moment later, Agust phone sounded off in your pocket. He glanced over at you with a bemused look as you pulled the phone out and saw the screen lit up with a notification.

- God of Destruction: It’s me.

“Sorry,” you said, feeling embarrassed by your sudden suspicion, “but after that guy flashed a fake police badge at me, I just wanted to be sure. Thank you for coming and for helping me. Are you Agust’s brother or a friend?”

RM’s eyes narrowed when he heard you say Agust and gave you a strange look. His eyes seemed to dance about you, as if he was trying to figure something out. But as quickly as it appeared, the look disappeared and he smiled again. “We usually call him Suga. Only people who don’t like him call him Agust. I don’t think he’d want you calling him that. Can we go see him now? We’ve been worried about him.” You nodded and motioned him to follow you back to the elevator. As you waited for the doors to reopen, he leaned over and whispered, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Hyung you had his phone.”

“What? Does he have some embarrassing things on here,” you joked.

“Maybe,” came the reply and heard RM chuckle as he allowed you to step into the elevator.

You hit the button for the floor that they moved Agu- Suga to, the doors slid shut, and the lift jolted to a start. As the sound of the mechanisms filled the space, you caught a glimpse of the tall man flinch. It seemed odd, seeing as he had just faced off against the most frightening person you had ever seen. The taunting words he had said to RM before leaving came to mind, about not liking it in a hospital. It wasn’t uncommon for people to have bad experiences related to hospitals, so you tried to brush it off. Once you had made it to the secure floor, you led him down the hall. You explained that the floor was only accessible to a few people and how they had followed the directions as specified to the director. The entire time, RM listened very intently, eyes never leaving you. He was the picture of professionalism and sincerity. You swiped the two of you into the ward, and he held the door open for you as you led him down the hall to the room. As you neared the room, you wondered if you were going to survive the present of two very handsome men. Hopefully, the rest of his friends that you heard over the phone were somewhat average.

As you both entered the room, RM came to a stop in the threshold of the door, his eyes staring at the bed. You could see the worry and panic that you had heard over the phone slip across his face. You reached out and touched his arm. He looked at you with an almost innocent gaze, like he was questioning if it was alright to get closer. You gave him a nod and he was beside his friend in a flash. He looked as if he was debating to reach out to Suga, as if he were made of glass, but settled for taking hold of his hand. RM let out a breath and looked relieved to have finally seen his friend. From your place at the edge of the room, you could see how much one meant to the other and all worries about them being as bad as Choi disappeared.

“Is he going to be ok? What did they do to him,” RM asked, never taking his eyes off his companion.

“Dr. Na took good care of him,” you said, reaching for the file at the end of the bed. “He was shot twice, once in the shoulder and on his left side. The gunshot wound on his side appeared to be at close range and the bullet went through. Thankfully, there wasn’t much damage done. The bullet was lodged in his shoulder, but Dr. Na was able to remove it and mend up some of the damage. We’ll know more when he wakes up, but he should have full range of motion after some rest. He, also, has some bruised ribs and a slight concussion. Along with bruising and defensive wounds pretty much everywhere. He, also, lost a lot of blood. He’s in the middle of a transfusion now. But he is responding well to everything and we believe he should be waking up soon. With enough care, patience, and support, he should make a full recovery in no time. Which is amazing; when I found him, I was worried with how much blood he had lost that he may have had a harder road to recovery.”

RM flicked his eyes over to you. “You found him?”

“They must not have told you. I was on my way to work when I heard the gunshots. I was the first to find him and get him to safety.”

RM looked like he wanted to ask more questions, when a soft groan came from the bed and drew the attention. Suga took in a deep breath and his body shifted as if fighting to wake and identify the voices. After a tense moment, his body relaxed and his eyes opened slightly. From the edge of the bed, you could see the glazed and shiny effects of the medication still trying to hold him in the state of unconsciousness, and realized he may not fully be aware of what is happening. But you were sure the presence of RM had drawn him out enough to give them a sign that he was okay. RM called out to his hyung softly, drawing Suga’s attention as he gazed about the room.

“Hyung, hey, can you hear me?”

Suga’s eyes fully landed on RM. It seemed as if he was fighting his way to recognition before he gave a small, drugged smile back. “Joon,” his voice sounded exhausted and stained.

RM laughed. “Yeah, Hyung, it’s me. You’re gonna be okay. You’re safe.”

“Joonie, I think I’m dead. I saw an angel.”

The whitehaired man reached out and ran his fingers, gently, through his friend’s hair. “No, Hyung, you’re only tired. That bastard messed you up but you’re gonna be alright now. Why don’t you go back to sleep? The boys and I will be here when you wake up.”

“Oh,” Suga said, almost sounding disappointed as the drugs started to drag him back to oblivion, “too bad. It was a pretty angel. Prettier than Jiminie and Hyungie combined. But don’t tell them I said that.” And just as fast as he woke, Suga went silent and still again.

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smugzayn · 5 years ago

Text

Roomies

“So, what’s that mean?” you ask, trying to keep the bite out of your voice. Whether it’s apparent or not, it’s easy to read all over your body. Your hands are on your hips, your right toe taps violently against the floor, and your neck is jutted just ever so slightly forward in irritation.

“Well,” your R.A. starts gently. “There’s nothing that can be done for you right now. All the assignments are full and there are no empty beds. You’re just going to have to room with him for a while”

You stare at her, hoping that she’s going to change her mind. Or maybe she will start laughing because certainly, this is some sort of joke. After thirty seconds of her falsely apologetically soft smile, you huff.

“So, I will just live with him, then? Just live with Harry? There’s nothing you can do. I’m just - just roomies with him.”

She nods, already inching her way back into her room, slipping behind a gently closing door.

You nod, tersely, disbelief painting over your irritation. This is not at all going to plan.

OR somehow you and Harry are assigned a dorm room at university.

One.

You had been waiting all summer for university to begin. Every prep course, accelerated class, and extracurricular had prepared you for this very moment. You had even made sure to check every box on your roommate application that guaranteed your new bunkmate would be just as focused, driven, and ambitious as you.

As other girls on your co-ed floor were popping into the boys’ rooms or flirting in the corridor, you were arranging your highlighters on your desk, flipping through your planner, and making sure the reading lamp was fastened tightly to your headboard. You didn’t have time for distractions.

You were just ruffling out a lump in your duvet, the final touch of settling in, when a loud thump sounded from the entryway behind you.

“Oh,” you turned around to find a tall, shaggy-haired boy standing in your doorway with several fancy-patterned duffles weighing him down. He struggled to flip his black ray-bans atop his head as he looked at you in surprise.

“You must be in the wrong place; boys rooms are on the other side of the hall.”

“Hello,” he grinned, ignoring your comment and looking you up and down, bringing what you hoped wasn’t a noticeable blush to your cheeks. There were two deep dimples next to his upturned mouth, a charming smile twisting his lips and bunching the skin next to his eyes, and a mop of dark hair that looked like it, at any point, could overtake his whole head. Unceremoniously, he dropped all his bags to the floor and shoved a hand into his pocket to un-crumble a tattered piece of paper.

“Room 212?” he asked, pinching the plump of his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger as he scanned his paper. His voice had a long, slow drawl to it. “Right? This is room 212?”

You shook your head in confusion.

“No - Well, yes,” you agreed hesitantly, scrunching your brows together in confusion. “It is, but the boys’ rooms are on the other side of the -”

“No,” he interrupted. “This is right.” He held the paper out for you to inspect. You read it over: Harry Styles - ID#1D-557819, Room 212. When you looked up at him in disbelief, he just shrugged his shoulders and smiled joyfully as if the matter was settled.

What was wrong with him? This wasn’t going to work? You couldn’t bunk with - with him. You were no prude, but it wasn’t really proper to just live with a boy you didn’t know. And he just looked like a distraction.

You stood there in shock as he lugged his duffle bags in one swift motion onto the empty bed beside you. With no concern for the situation, he started pulling out a very haphazardly packed luggage full of flannel shirts, graphic tees, pink flamingo stringed lights, and at least three different bottles of vodka.

When he turned around to dump a handful of mismatched socks on his desk, you noticed his grey sweatshirt read Margaritaville University. Oh god.

“What are you doing,” you sputtered from where you stood with your arms tight across your chest, clearly flustered. “You can’t - we aren’t - You can’t be my roommate. You - you have to move.”

He grabbed a pile of shirts with a big fist and stuffed them into a drawer. “Look, roomie,” he drawled lazily, just barely glancing over his shoulder towards you with an easy smirk. “It’s happening. Embrace it -”

“Absolutely not,” you huffed, looking at him in disbelief.

You watched him force a too full drawer shut by throwing his shoulder into it- you think it was a mix of pants, shirts, and beanies - before he walked over to stand in front of you. He sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair, leaning back to crack his spine and letting a sliver of skin at the bottom of his torso peak out.

You hate that his smirk deepens when your eyes are drawn towards it. It’s infuriating.

“I’m Harry,” he says once again, flashing a sideways grin at you and holding out his hand in greeting. Shaking it would feel like some sort of agreement or a surrender to the situation. You’re not so easy to give in, so after you stare at it for a minute, he laughs dryly and shoves both hands into his pockets. “Do you have a name? Or should I just call you ‘roomie’?”

“I’m going to go talk to the room advisor.”

You storm out of the room, but his chuckle of “...nice to meet ya” still follows you out the door.

.....

It takes about an hour after Harry moves into your room to find out that he’s terribly, terribly social.

The university move-in date for Freshman is a Friday because they want Freshman to have the weekend to get “acclimated” before classes begin on Monday. So, you spend this time planning your routes to each class, visiting the library and booking a private study room for the semester, and starting an email chain to organize study groups for your courses. You go to the university bookstore and buy your books, begin taking notes on the introductory chapters, and hungrily read through the course syllabus listed on the online platform.

Harry, on the other hand, well you’re not quite sure what he spends his time doing. He darts into your room to quickly change into a new top, or you pass him with a big group of people in someone’s room, or some girl pops by saying, “Oh, I didn’t know Harry had a girlfriend.” You are always quick to inform, begrudgingly, that you two are just temporary roommates.

When the Sunday night before classes begin rolls around, he taps you on the shoulder from where you’re studying with headphones in at your desk.

“What do you think?” he asks, modeling a black top and matching black jeans. He looks genuinely curious, like for some reason he truly wants a stranger’s input on his outfit. It’s disconcerting. “I’m worried it’s too much black.”

You’re confused.

“Is this what you’re wearing to class tomorrow?”

He laughs loudly, falling back on his bed in the process. He starts shoving on a pair of black sneakers. “Class? What - no! I am going to a house party with a guy across the hall.” He flutters his eyelashes at you, “You want to be my date?”

You rearrange your highlighters as an excuse to look away but still noticeably sputter, “I’m studying - and classes start tomorrow -”

“Oh, god,” he groans, pretending to push a pair of glasses up his nose. “You are seriously going to have to loosen up. It’s the first weekend of university! What in the hell are you even reading?”

“It’s coursework -” you rebuke defensively.

“Courses haven’t even started,” he interjects, reaching over you and snagging the book off your desk. “What even is this? Historical Particularism? Functionalism? Neo-What?”

“Classism. I’m pre-law.” You stand up to snatch your book back, but he plays keep-away and holds it with one long arm behind him. It isn’t until he pointedly clears his throat with a big, stupid smirk on his face that you notice you’re practically climbing atop him to get at it.

You lean back, straightening out a wrinkle in your top, and holding out your hand impatiently. “Gosh! If you’re going, then just go.”

He rolls his eyes, but the amused smirk doesn’t falter. Teasingly slow, he gives you your book. “You’re going to be my date at some point,” he decides, as you look away. “You can’t be like this all semester.”

“I’m on scholarship.” You sit back down at your desk. “I have to get good grades.”

You can tell he doesn’t really understand. He’s posh. From the moment he walked in you could tell it like he was wearing a public school uniform. He had the holiday tan, and his luggage was all the same matching, expensive print, and he had that confidence of someone who knows they belong. You’ve never had that assurance. You were the first in your family to attend college, you were proper working class, and you were here because of you. Not daddy’s money, or mummy’s network, or some sort of legacy connection. You were here because you had worked damn hard.

Harry clears his throat from where he’s fixing his hair in the mirror. “But I still need your opinion.”

You throw your hands up in irritation. “On what?”

“My outfit!” he growls, leaning back, posing with one foot out and a hand propped behind his head. He looks ridiculous. “Is the black-on-black okay? It’s a new top. I’m not sold on it. I’m going for rough and mysterious yet approachable and -”

“It’s fine,” you interrupt, cutting off the rambling description of his aesthetic. “What do you want my opinion for, anyway? It’s not like I even know you.”

He shakes his head in disappointment, but the smirk he bites back tells you he’s enjoying riling you up more than he lets on. “You’re my roommate. It’s what we do. I need your -”

You spin around to glare at him, “We are not roommates.” He makes a show of looking about the room at his stuff and your stuff - all in one room. Not having to say anything to point out the very clear fact that you are very much roommates. “This is temporary.”

“Right,” Harry nods his head in amusement, unwilling to push you any further on the topic. After a moment, he adds, “Then what you’re saying is that it’s too much black.” He grabs a flannel from the mess of clothes under his bed and ties it around his waist. Then, once again, he looks at you expectantly.

“Oh my God,” you groan, flopping your head down on your desk into your open textbook. “Yes, it looks fine. The shoes, the tee, the flannel, and the black, and your hair all look great.”

He nods his head happily, and snags a bottle of something that he had hidden in some mess of a drawer. He tucks into a pocket, arranging the tied top around his waist to hide the bulge. “Perfect,” he whispers to himself, the smile clear in his voice as he walks to the door, finally leaving you to your studies.

“You like my hair?” he asks cheekily, slipping into the corridor with a final irritating call of “Don’t miss me too much, roomie!”

The highlighter you throw bounces off the slammed door.

.....

“Oh,” you say from where you’re reading on your bed. “I didn’t know you were coming back.”

Harry shrugs his shoulders. He looks hungover. It’s Saturday morning, so he probably is. There have been four weekends since school began - Harry’s gone out for all of them. Even during the week he goes out a few times. You're thankful that he never comes back to your room after; you don’t know where or who he’s staying with, but at least it’s not with you.

You accidentally squish your nose at him before you register what you’re doing. He reeks of stale alcohol and floral perfume.

“Do I smell?” he asks, grabbing his towel off his bed and searching through his drawers for five minutes before finding a set of fresh clothes.

“A little,” you lie, looking away from him and returning your eyes, if not your attention, back to your book.

“Y’know, you should come out with me sometime.” He grabs the towel off the hook on his wardrobe and slings it around his shoulder. “Oh. Can I borrow your shampoo?”

“What?” you look at him suspiciously, trying to determine how serious he’s being. You’ve noticed Harry likes to say things just to distract you from studying.

“Your shampoo,” he repeats, nodding to where you keep it. “It smells good - like strawberries, and I ran out of mine days ago.”

You ignore the silly warmth that burns your cheeks. “Yeah,” you nod. “That’s fine.”

“Awesome. Thanks. And you should you know.” He snags the bottle out of your stuff. “I mean come out with me sometime. It would be fun”

You roll your eyes and laugh easily. It’s a nice offer, but you’ve seen Harry’s crew. It’s big, the girls all look like they’ve got 5,000 Instagram subscribers, and you’re sure most of the guys do, too.

“That’s okay,” you assure him. “It’s nice of you, but I’ve got my friends and you’ve got yours-”

“I’m not saying it to be nice,” Harry bites and the tension in his voice takes you by surprise. You look up from your book to see him leveling you with a hard glare from the open doorway; he has one foot out the door. “I’m saying it because I want to be friends.”

“Harry, this is just temporary. I’m sure we will hear back from the R.A. any day with a new arrangement. I don’t think we really need to force anything.”

You trail off awkwardly and squirm a little under his stare. He looks irritated, and it’s an unfamiliar look on his face. It darkens his features and makes him look dangerous. He rubs a big hand along his tense jaw and you can just barely hear the scratchiness of his stubble against his skin.

He opens his mouth to say something, decides against it, and slams the door enough when he leaves that the pictures above your bed rattle slightly.

Two.

Your side of the room looks like this: your bed is neatly made, your wardrobe is tediously organized, and your desk is arranged for academic success. When you return from the shower, your towel gets hung, your dirty clothes go in the hamper, and your shower cubby gets tucked neatly away at the end of your bed.

Harry’s side of the room looks like this: his duvet is a mess - always. He has five pillows, and none of them are ever on his bed. In an effort to be neat, the dresser drawers are bursting open with whatever clothes Harry has picked up off the floor and shoved in them. When he returns from the shower, his towel gets thrown somewhere, his dirty clothes get tossed by the hamper, and he returns your shampoo and body wash to you because he’s been using it ever since that day in September.

You will appreciate that Harry does keep a nice dividing line between your structure and organization and his chaos and mess. He even hung his pink flamingo string lights down the middle of the room to remind himself. You don’t hate them that much.

Despite the common ground that you two have seemed to find, your R.A. never gets back to you about the unconventional situation and your growingly impatient emails haven’t received their due response. So, five weeks in, it’s October, and you and Harry had fallen into a strange kind of normal. You wake up earlier than him, go to class, spend any free time at the library, and return basically just to study, shower, and sleep. You don’t even see him that much. The only time you really ever run into him is when he’s gaming or sleeping.

You actually hadn’t seen him for three days before all the sudden you do.

You’ve been studying in the library for about an hour between your political science and anthropology courses when all a sudden there’s a loud knocking and Harry’s big, dimply smile is waving at you from the window in the door.

“Unlock it,” he whispers loudly through the glass. “Let me in. I need to talk!” A passerby curiously walks by and Harry adds, “Don’t worry. It’s just my roomie.”

“Oi!” you hush, standing up quickly to unlock the latch. “Will you be quiet?”

He clumsily swings open the door and throws his book bag to the floor before flopping down into the extra chair in the corner.

“Roomie,” he begins, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees. “I need your help.”

“Harry, what are you doing here?” You whisper, moving to shut the door that he had just left open. “How did you even know - Also, stop calling me roomie. It’s just a temporary -”

“I checked your planner when you were in the showers Tuesday.” He cuts you off before you can object. “That’s not important. I need your help. I’ve got this math test tomorrow and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. Plus, my literature class it’s just - I have some monster paper about some book an emo lady wrote and I don’t understand anything. I have no idea-”

“What lit class are you in?”

“133. We’ve got our first paper due Monday, and I’ve got no idea -

“Harry -” you look at him in disbelief. “Please tell me it’s not with Professor Allison.”

Harry nods, his fringe falling over his eyes until he swoops it back into place. “Yeah. Why?”

“Harry! How can you -” you regulate your voice back to a whisper when someone in the room beside you bangs on the wall. “I’m in that class. I’ve not seen you there once.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “That’s why I’ve got no idea what’s going on.”

You sigh - deeply.

“Please,” Harry begs, leaning forward until one of his hands is grabbing onto your knee in desperation. “I will do anything. Midterms are in two weeks, and I have to pass these classes. Please, please, please -”

You pull away, ignoring the warmth that flutters in your chest at his touch.

“I don’t know, Harry. I’ve got a lot of my own stuff I need to -”

He falls to his knees suddenly, close enough that his pleading fists are nearly sitting on your lap.

You look anxiously to the window to make sure no one can see the strange scene.

“Harry, really -”

“I’ll move out at semester,” he promises, suddenly staring into your eyes. “I will take all my stuff and move across the hall with Daniel. His roommate already dropped, so he’s on his own. I’m sure it would be-”

You can’t mask the excitement in your voice. “Really? You will? You promise?”

Harry leans back, the loss of his touch taking a warmth with it.

He runs his hands through his hair, pushing it all out of his face. “I swear on it. You help me pass this semester, and I will move out in December. You will be all on your own by January.”

He sticks out a hand to shake and this time you don’t hesitate to agree wholeheartedly.

.....

You step in front of Harry, toss your copy of Frankenstein onto his desk, and hit the power button on the XBox.

“What the hell are you doing?” Harry blurts, pulling his headset off and looking at you in irritation. “We were just about to storm that -”

“You asked for my help,” you shove a schedule into Harry’s outstretched hands and pull your desk chair over to sit. He grumbles something, but he drops his headset to the floor and glances at the paper unhappily.

“Study group? Library? Wake up time? What is this?”

“It’s your schedule.” You move on despite his grumbling. “There’s a study group for your math class on Wednesday nights at 6 and a grad student gives private lessons every Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I’ve signed you up for both. Also, I’m going to start waking you up for our lit class. There's really no reason that you can’t -”

Harry curses under his breath, but, again, you ignore it and push on.

“Plus, I’ve scheduled you for library time with me every Saturday afternoon. That’s the pink highlight. However, I thought we might start that paper now, your literature one...seeing as it’s due in -” you look at your phone, “six hours.”

“Shit,” Harry groans, and leans back in his chair, already exhausted with the task. “Okay, roomie, let’s get to it.”

“Harry -”

“I know. I know. It’s just temporary,” he smirks, sliding his chair close to his desk and then grabbing yours and pulling you close in one swift motion. “I wish you’d stop saying that.”

You reach around Harry to grab the book instead of meeting his eye.

“So, what did you think about Frankenstein?” you ask, flipping through the text to re-read some of your annotations and find your favourite quotes. “Was it the frame narrative? Or the subversive female voice? Or maybe the complex relationship between the Monster and Victor?”

“Well, you see,” Harry drawls, forcing you to hide a smile as his face turns with a boyish smirk. “I would say that everything is my favourite because -”

“You haven’t read it,” you realise flatly.

“I haven’t read it,” he agrees, his charming yet bashful smile still painting his face.

You sigh heavily, letting your chest heave dramatically and ignoring the flash of amusement in Harry’s eyes.

“Well,” you decide, flipping until you are on page one. “Then let’s start at the beginning.”

.....

“Harry,” you try to keep the whine out of your voice, but it’s no easy task. How can someone that looks as good as he does be so absolutely frustrating? “Harry, get up! Come on!”

You pull up the duvet so it’s covering his bare shoulder and then push to rouse him awake. “Let’s go! We’re going to be late. Really, Harry!”

It’s been two weeks since you gave Harry his schedule. He’s attended every study session with the grad student (you checked) and has walked with you to the library for all his study groups. He’s even come and sat with you at the library for the last two Saturdays. Although, you would argue, he’s spent more time pestering you than actually completing any studying.

This, however, has not been Harry’s easiest hurdle to jump. You spend every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning thinking of new, clever ways to convince him to wake up. Although, maybe you should just be grateful that he’s sleeping in his bed way more often.

You think you’ve rubbed off on him in some small way, at least.

“Please, Harry. We really need to -” a strong tug on your arm surprises you and Harry suddenly has you tangled up with him in bed. Your cheek falls against the skin of what was his carefully covered shoulder and his entire torso is bare up against you.

“Harry,” you squeal, pressing against his chest, but his strong arms are wrapped around you.

“Shhhh,” he mutters sleepily, nuzzling you into his chest and pulling you close until your nose is near smushed tight against the curve of his neck. “Lay with me for five minutes and then I’ll get up. Promise. Then I’ll get up.”

His voice sounds like gravel.

You squirm and he hushes you again by promising just five minutes.

“Fine,” you agree, not really seeing another option. His hold relaxes, and you weigh heavy in his arms.

So, you lay there, in his bed, tight up against his body for five long minutes. You can feel his breath against your hair, and the rise and fall of his chest against your cheek, and even his thick, strong legs brushing the front of yours. It makes you nervous, and anxious, and warm, and confused.

You check the clock seven times before the five minutes is up. As soon as Harry let’s you go, you grab your bag, run a brush through the back of your hair, and make an excuse to wait for him in the corridor.

You can’t look at him when you walk to class without blushing that morning. You think he notices because he keeps finding excuses to shove his face right in front of yours: you’ve got an eyelash, or a piece of dust in your hair, or a fleck of something along your bottom lip.

He laughs every time you shoo him away and asks coyly about why your face is so red.

After that morning, he makes you lay with him for five minutes before he wakes up every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until midterms. He calls it a “roomie alarm” and somehow it becomes a normal thing.

.....

“Thank god,” you sigh, flopping into your bed. You’ve just returned from your last midterm. The professor has already entered the grades, you aced it. Actually, you’ve aced all of them. You’re going to relax this weekend; you’ve completed your first quarter with a 4.0.

You had gotten about four hours of sleep last night after staying up revising your paper on Canterbury Tales. You’ve decided there is a special spot in Hell for Chaucer. You’re just on the very verge of dozing off when the door to your room flies open, smashes into the wall, and a heavy mass falls atop you.

“Oof,” you groan, wiggling uncomfortably until you feel the weight roll off you and thump to the floor. You prop yourself on your elbow and turn to see Harry laying on the floor, a giant grin on his face, a piece of paper held tightly to his chest.

“We did it,” he laughs, holding the paper up to you.

You sit up in excitement, grabbing it out of his hand and reading over it. One C, three B’s, and two A’s. You try to push away the thought that Harry had printed off his midterm report just to show you.

“Oh my gosh, Harry! You got an A on your math and English midterms.” You look down at him, there are happy crinkles next to his eyes, and his dimples are two deep pinpricks. His smile makes your heart flutter. “I can’t believe you did it.”

He suddenly reaches for you, pulls you down by your arm, and hugs you tightly atop him. It’s like “roomie alarm,” but it feels different at this time of day, in the late afternoon light flooding the room.

“Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

You laugh nervously, trying to ignore the feeling of your chest pressed tight against his, and his mouth in your hair, and his hands warm against your back. It’s one thing when he’s half-asleep in the innocence of the morning light. Why does it feel so different now? Like it’s so much more?

“Well,” you mumble, leaning just a little bit away from him. You laugh, “I really want my own room.”

You can feel his grip slacken slightly, his body freezing underneath yours.

“Right,” he clears his throat, gently shuffling so you’re sitting beside him now. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and you get up until you’re sitting back on your bed. Putting the distance between you and him before you can even meet his eyes. Even then, after a minute, he clears his throat once more only to repeat, “Right.”

You go to your desk and shuffle around some papers.

“So,” you try to lighten the mood. “How are you going to celebrate? Get pissed with your friends? Hit the pub? Pull a girl?” You ask, smiling easily at him over your shoulder. “You should go celebrate with your friends! You’ve earned it.”

He smiles, but it’s tight, and it doesn’t light his eyes. Propping himself up on an elbow from the floor, he laughs, a dry puff of air through his nose, but there’s no humor to it. It sounds sad.

“Yeah,” he raises his eyebrows, looking at you imploringly. “I guess that’s what I do, right? Go out, get drunk, pull a girl. That’s who I am then, right?”

“Harry,” you watch as he pulls himself up, grabs a snapback from his wardrobe and throws a plaid top on. “I’m sorry. I just meant that-”

“What? It’s nothing,” he interrupts, brushing past you when you reach for him. “I get it. You didn’t say anything wrong. Don’t apologize.”

He doesn’t look back when he walks out the door.

Three.

After midterms, things continue like normal, except they don’t.

Harry still meets you to study at the library, but he asks fewer questions, and there’s less touching that makes your heart beat faster, and you don’t find him staring at you when you’re not looking like you did before. You don’t look forward to Saturdays anymore.

In the dorms, it’s different too.

He’s there more but less. It’s weird. He’s there all the time now. He sleeps there every night, and he goes out with his friends less, but it doesn’t feel like you interact any more. He doesn’t drive you crazy by asking you ridiculous questions, or teasing you about being a nerd, or start yelling at the screen while he’s gaming until you throw a book at him. Instead, he’s lights out at ten, and headphones in all the time, and he never sleeps past his alarm, and he never needs five more minutes.

You hate it.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt from across the table.

Harry arrived in your study room twenty minutes ago, but aside from asking to borrow a pencil, he’s not said a word to you.

“I didn’t mean all those things. I don’t think you’re just some stupid frat boy, or caveman, or something. I don’t even - I don’t even know why I said it. It was just - I think I was scared and I just said those things to be mean or to push you away. I don’t know. I’m just really, really sorry that I did.”

Harry leans back from where he was crouched over The Great Gatsby. You think he could give Jay Gatsby a run for his money. He runs a hand through his hair, pulling it away from his head, and looking a bit crazed as a result.

“Wow,” he smirks, his lips turning at one side to make his mouth all crooked. “That was...out of nowhere.”

You try to keep your voice from cracking, taking a moment to brush back your hair and hopefully distract from the heat in your face. “Well, yeah. I’ve been wanting to say it forever. Basically since that night - since midterms. I really am sorry.”

“Well, that’s great and all…” he trails off.

“But you’re still mad?”

“No,” he shakes his head and reaches out to grab your hand assuringly. “I’m not mad, but you’re going to have to make it up to me.”

You look at him skeptically. The giant, devilish smirk on his face doesn’t make him look very trustworthy. His eyes are normally just a beautiful green; right now they look dangerous.

“My mate’s having a party tonight. A house party,” he begins and starts piling up his books and notepad and shoving it carelessly into his bookbag. “I want you to come with me.”

“Okay, but not as your date -”

He nods his head and waves his hand to stop you from voicing the thought.

“As my roommate,” he assures but there’s something in his eyes that makes you believe he knows something that you don’t. As if there's a secret that he’s left you out of. “Just a roommate.”

He doesn’t give you a minute to respond. Instead, he piles all of your stuff up too and starts shoving it into your bookbag. He ignores your protests.

“Let’s go,” he demands, slinging your book bag over his shoulder along with his own and grabbing your hand to pull you behind him out the door. “It’s Friday night. We are going to go out, get drunk, and have a fucking blast.”

.....

Harry looks amazing. You want to give him absolute hell for looking exactly like the frat boy of your nightmares, but those nightmares seem much less like scary dreams when you look at him. He’s wearing jeans, and a plaid shirt rolled up a bit and a plain, white tee underneath, with a backward cap on with little flips of dark, curly hair sticking out and you don’t know that you’ve ever been so attracted to someone in your life.

And what’s most terrible is that you feel like an absolute tit. You had borrowed an outfit from a girl down the hall. Your wardrobe consisted entirely of study clothes - leggings, too big sweatshirts, and tennis shoes. They had had a blast dressing you in a short, little black dress and some heeled booties. The dress felt a bit too big, the booties a bit too tall, and makeup and hair a bit too unfamiliar, but you’re just trying to hold on to the way Harry’s eyes brightened as he met you in the corridor on the way out of the dorm.

“Does it look okay? I can still change. Should I just go change?” you had word-vomited as soon as he saw you. His hand wrapped around your wrist is what stopped you from turning back into your dorm.

“Are you joking?” he roared, biting at his bottom lip. “Absolutely not. Don’t you fucking dare.”

You were thankful his mobile had buzzed with a text at that moment. It gave you the opportunity to hide your blush by rifling through your bag.

Now, at the house party, you still feel out of place, but you’re sure the shot you’re about to drown will help.

“Ready?” Harry asks, his eyes twinkling in excitement. His smile makes your chest burn in the dark, crowded room. There are people everywhere. They are pressed up against you, and the music is so loud that you can feel the bass through your toes, and you're thankful for the cool breeze coming in through the open window. “On my count.”

You grab the shot glass - it says, “YOLO” on it. You thought that was a phrase that rightfully died a long, long time ago.

Harry counts to two, forgets three, throws the shot back, and then smiles from ear-to-ear as he watches you follow his late lead. He offers you some fizzy drink to chase; you gladly accept it with a grimace.

“One more?” you ask and watch as he laughs in delight. A big, happy, throaty laugh that makes you want to jump his bones.

He happily pours another, hands it to you, and this time, when he gets to two, you remember and take the shot right along with him.

Initially, you think you’re immune to alcohol. Harry leads you around, a hand on your back, and you dutifully follow his guiding touch. You meet his mates and laugh gleefully as they tell you about how they know each other or banter back and forth. It feels like Harry knows everyone and everyone loves him. You knew he was social, but it’s nice to see it in action. He just bounces around from person-to-person and he’s got a story or a joke with all of them.

And he makes it easy for you, too. He doesn’t make you feel like some afterthought or tag along; rather, he excitedly introduces you, or makes sure to include you in each story, or tells his friends some interesting anecdote about you that you didn’t even realise he had noticed:

“Bro, she’s proper smart. She’s pre-law undergrad with a focus in family law.”

“Yeah, she played football and tennis growing up.”

“She grinds her teeth so bad. Drives me absolutely mental.”

“She actually used to vacation by where your mom lives. She's still on the coast, right?”

By the time you start to feel this warm, fuzziness building in your stomach, and chest, and head you’re not sure if it’s from Harry or the alcohol. However, when Harry leads you to a new spot in the house, gently guiding you with a hand on your lower back, you know it’s the alcohol that allows you to easily slip your hand into his, push him ahead of you, and hide behind his shoulder as he meanders his way to a new spot.

You see him duck his head just slightly to hide the grin threatening to split his face in half. You hide yours, too.

The new spot is the dance floor, and god there is nothing that could have been more perfect.

It’s too loud to talk, there are so many people that you both have a good excuse to be pressed up tightly against each other, and someone bumps into Harry and makes him drop his beer, so now both his hands can wrap tightly around your body to pull you into him.

You love the feeling of his body pressed against yours. You can feel the hard lines of his muscles, the tightness of his stomach, and the knotty muscles of his shoulder, back, and neck. It’s easy to sink into his touch, let his big hand run up your waist, graze the side of your neck, and take your cheek into this hand. When you lean up, giving yourself to him, he doesn’t hesitate to fall into you. His mouth crashes against yours, the warmth of his lips, and tongue, and his overpowering scent sending shocks through your body.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, pulling away and trying to bite back a smile as Harry looks down at you. His lips are red and more swollen than usual, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol and heat, and bits of his hair are matted to his forehead. “Please, let’s go back to our dorm,” you ask, leaning up to pull him into a kiss.

He laughs against you, holding your jaw in his hands until he forces you back and instead grabs your hand to lead you out. “I’ve been waiting all semester to hear that.”

Four.

When you wake up the next morning, its snowed outside.

It makes it easy to snuggle under the covers and burrow yourself into Harry’s body. You think it should be awkward, but it’s not. It feels overdue.

“Good morning,” Harry grumbles, and you can feel his chest vibrate from where your cheek is pressed against him. A heavy palm sweeps through your hair, brushing it down, and his nails drag lightly along your scalp.

“I didn’t know you knew so much about me.” You lean up from your spot on his chest, so you can see his face. “When you were talking to your friends, you actually knew a lot about me. Like what I want to do with my degree, and my favorite band, and all my siblings’ names. I didn’t know.”

Harry’s smile is soft. His hair is fluffy and somehow angry looking. It’s all messy from sleep and other activities.

“I like you,” he shrugs simply. “I’ve always liked you.”

You roll your eyes and smack him gently on the shoulder. “You did not always like me.”

“I did too,” he insists earnestly, and the sincerity in his eyes erases your skepticism. “You’re just so fucking dense. As soon as I walked in here on move-in, I knew. You spent like two minutes straightening out a ruffle in the bed, and your wardrobe was color-coded, and everything was in neat rows on your desk. And then you were so goddamn huffy and puffy about me moving in -”

“And you knew?” you joke lightly, but he grabs your hand and kisses it with conviction.

“I swear, I knew.” He throws his head back, ruffling a big hand through his messy hair. “Why do you think you never got a different roommate? Or I never got kicked out?”

“Wait! What?” You sit up, staring at him in disbelief. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t think it was suspicious at all?” he asks, propping himself on his side with an elbow. “Sure it was pure coincidence that we got roomed together. But, I mean, you didn’t think it was weird that our R.A. never fixed our living arrangements? That never was like a red flag to you?”

You shake your head. You had spent hours at the beginning of first quarter begging, reasoning, and even crying to the R.A. that you needed to be moved.

“Well, I have my connections. I made sure it wasn’t going to change,” he smirks, seemingly pleased with himself.

“Harry,” you gasp, but dissolve into chuckles when he pulls you into his body, rolls you over onto your back, and leans over to kiss you deeply on the mouth. His hands tangle in your hair, and run along your jaw, and slide over the curves of your waist and hips.

He eventually falls onto his side and pulls you into his stomach, the soft curves of your body melting into the hardness of his. His arms around you feel heavy, and make you feel secure and small. You think you could lay here forever.

“I was looking at my schedule for next semester,” Harry begins and you nod back into his touch. “And, I’ve got a lot of hard courses. Geometry, another English, biology, philosophy, and music -”

“Philosophy is not hard, and you’re excellent in music,” you point out. “You can play like three instruments, and I know that you-”

Harry stops any disagreement with light, nimble fingers that tickle your sides.

“I’m going to need help. So -”

“So, I don’t think you should move out,” you finish, turning in his arms until you can kiss him. “I think I would get lonely, and I think your grades would suffer, and I think I might like this.”

“This?” he asks, leaning over you again and pressing you into the bed with a hand on your hip and a heavy thigh falling between yours. You shudder as he presses into you, the weight of his body holding yours down, and you can feel your heart rate rising up as his mouth crashes down on yours.

His lips playfully kiss along your jaw, and neck, and collarbone. His hands feel like they are everywhere; their warmth covering your thighs, belly, and chest. You never want it to stop. You want to be here, with him, in this bed forever.

“Hmmm?” he hums, leaning back to stroke a stray bit of hair from the side of your face. “What’s this?”

“I like this,” you run a thumb over his plump bottom lip and guide his mouth down to yours, “being roomies.”

[masterpost]

#is my british canadian dual upbringing apparent in the clash of cultures fic #guys please social distance #social distance szn #one direction #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #harry styles #harry #one direction fic #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #imagine #blurb #my writing #one direction writing #styles #harry fic #social distance

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lovewriting-5 · 3 years ago

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Part 1

Part 2

*Simon Itani x female reader*

We did switch off and on for driving. The first leg of the drive we stopped at a hotel halfway to Berlin. In front of the hotel, we saw a few cars in the parking lot. Simon pulled into one of the spots. We stepped out of the car, stretched and yawned. I grab my purse from the passenger floor. He makes sure he has his wallet. He locked the car and hooked the key ring on his right index finger.

We walked in to the lobby. The desk clerk looked up from his computer. I tell him “We need a room for two.” He asks “One bed or two?” Simon places a hand on my waist. I tell the desk clerk, “One.” He then asks “How many nights?” Simon says “Just for tonight.” The desk clerk looks up, “Where are the two of you from?” Simon says “Originally from New York but on our way to a small town in New Hampshire.”

The desk clerk says “Okay. Now, we just need a name and a major credit card on file.” I tell him “Itani.” and pulled out my wallet. I hand him my ID and a credit card and the desk clerk scanned it in the computer. He hands it back along with the room keys and tells us the best way to get there. Simon tells him as he takes the credit card and keys, “Thanks.” He hands them back to me. I place my ID and card back in my wallet and purse.

Simon and I walk back out to the car. We grabbed a couple bags. Trying to hold back another yawn, I give Simon a kiss. I tell him “I can’t wait to relax.” He says “Me either.”

The two of us walked back inside and followed the direction the clerk pointed out. I took the key from Simon’s hand and unlocked the door. Once inside the room, the bags were set on the floor. I sat on the bed and scooted back closer to the pillows. Simon stands at the end of the bed and sits down. Lays on his back and closes his eyes.

I spin myself so I am closer to him. I prop my head up on my hand. Simon flutters his eyes open a little and then closes them again. He just smiles. I run my fingers through his hair. I kiss his cheek close to his lips. He turns his head and my lips touch his.

We began kissing. After awhile, he pulls away. Simon stands up and walks over to his bag. I spin the wedding ring on my finger. He pulls a folder out. He sits on the edge of the bed and lays the folder on the covers. I sit cross legged and take a look. My legs are a couple inches from his back so I am to look at it from the same angle.

Inside the folder was forms from the realtor that we signed with a picture of our new house. There was also some information about the town of Berlin and his new job. I say “There it is...our new life.” He gently places a hand on my knee, “Yep, so weird to think.” I place my chin on his right shoulder and pick up the information on Berlin.

From the information, it was a small town in New Hampshire with ‘mom and pop shops’ in the main part of town. It also said that the local radio station, 87.6 The Moose is the only station for independent music. Simon mentions “Oh by the way, Bill Starkey called and he has invited us for dinner after we get to town.” I say “That is very sweet of him.”

We talked a little bit more about the town and his new job. He asks “So how relaxed are you?” I look at him, “Well...whatever you have in mind, I’m sure I can get a little more relaxed.” He begins almost like a little kid, “I noticed that the hotel has a pool and I mean if your up for it...We could head there and have some fun.” I lean in close to him but say “Let’s do it!”

The folder and papers stay laying on the bed. I grab my swimsuit out of my bag and head into the bathroom. I change and throw on pants and a t-shirt. Once I come out, he heads into the bathroom. He comes back out and throws on his black zip up hoodie.

I place the room key in my pants pocket and ask, “You ready to go?” He nods and we head to the pool. Walking by other rooms, we could hear other guests. The two of us would make up what could be going on in some of the rooms.

Once inside the pool area, we saw that no one else was there. There was a shelf full of towels near the door, we grabbed a couple and headed to a table. We set the towels down and stripped off our clothes.

Simon jumped right in but I made my way to the stairs. I took each step one at a time. He swims to the shallow end and shouts “Come on, get in already. It’s not that bad.” I tell him “I am...just have to get acclimated to it.” I can feel my teeth starting to chatter. He swims closer with a devilish smile. I look at him, “Simon, don’t you dare.” I put my hands up to stop him. He still has a devilish smile.

I reached the second to last step as he was just inches from me. Simon reaches out both arms under the water and wraps them around my waist. “So there’s nothing I can do now, I’m guessing.” I say with a smirk. He just shakes his head ‘no.’

He starts backing away from the steps. I feel my feet leave the scratchy stairs. Simon’s shoulders are just breaking the surface of the water. I place my hands on the back of his neck and run my fingers through the hair on the bottom of his neck. He begins placing kisses on my collarbone. I wrap my arms around the back of his shoulders. As a natural reaction, I wrap my legs around his torso.

We move farther down to the deep end. Simon let go. I swam backwards toward the shallow end. I ask him “I remember what Berlin was like when we went to go see our new house. It is weird to say. It will take awhile to get used to. What do you think living in the town is actually like?” He starts swimming toward me. I back up. He follows. We keep at this until he caught my ankle and pulled me towards him. His knees were now bent. I was now sitting on his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

He says “I believe it will be like any small town. They have their secrets and stories.” I look at him with an eyebrow raised, “Is this your creative writing side coming out?”

He leans in and kisses me. Simon pulls a few centimeters away, “Maybe.” My arm moves to the back of his neck and pulls closer. I just say “Hmmm...” I place my lips back against his. He got what I was thinking. We continued kissing.

I all of a sudden heard young kids talking to their guardians as they get closer to the pool door. I say between breaths, “Simon, stop. There’s people coming.” He pulls away and looks at the door. We quickly separate. The family coming into the area were grandparents with grandchildren.

The grandparents gave us a smile and say “Hi.” Simon and I say “Hi.” I walk to the 4ft area and pull myself up to sit on the side. Simon places his elbows on the side and we just talk. I was starting to shiver a little from drying off. I tell him “I’m going to go sit at the table.” He says “Okay.” And pushes off from the wall.

Once to the table, I wrap the towel around myself. As little kids do, they began chatting to Simon. He was engaged in the conversations. Simon and I have talked about having kids but we both been busy and we wanted to wait until we had a house.

The grandmother told the kids after about half an hour, “Emily, leave the nice man alone. Sorry about that.” Simon tells her “It’s fine.” The grandmother turns to me and asks “How long have the two of you been together?” I tell her “A few years.” She says “Aw, that’s nice. Any kids?” I tell her “No.” That was the end of the conversation.

The kids decided to stop chatting with Simon. He took the opportunity and hopped out of the pool. When he got closer to the table, I tossed him a towel. He wrapped it around himself. He says, jokingly “I think that was the end of that.” I chuckle.

I looked at my fingers that were wrinkly. I tell him “My hands are so pruny.” He looks at his too, “Uhhh...mine too. Oh no, I’m turning into an old man.” Water still dripping from my hands, I shoo some into his face. I say, sarcastically “Okay, Mr. Aspiring Author.”

We talked a little bit about our next leg of the trip. I ask “So when do you think the movers will get there and what do you think they will do with our stuff?” He says “I guess they will get there same time tomorrow and toss all our stuff out of the truck.” I tell him “I’m guessing in the afternoon tomorrow and they better not.”

After a little while, he asks “Are you ready to head back to the room?” I nod “Yeah, I think so.” We gather up our clothes and keep the towels wrapped around ourselves. The grandmother tells us “Have a good evening.” I tell her “You too.”

We walk into the hallway and was blasted with cold air. Simon says “Fuck, it’s cold!” We fast walk to our room, put the key in, open the door and I quickly turn the heat on.

I ask “Do you need to get in the bathroom?” He says “Not right now, go ahead.” I grab sweatpants, sweatshirt and toiletries and head into the bathroom. I turn on the hot water and let the shower warm up a little. I hop in and take a quick shower. Once out, I get dressed and walk out into the room.

Simon grabs his clothes and toiletries and head into the bathroom. While he’s in there, I text my friend and family to let them know how our trip is going so far. They both text back telling me ‘Once you guys get settled, we will have to get together.’ I see that he has turned the television on low. I grab my brush and begin brushing my hair.

When Simon comes back out, we hang our swimsuits to dry. Then we just relax the rest of the night. We talk about what is on, the trip tomorrow, living in Berlin and what we are going to do our first day in the new house.

We both were starting to doze off. I grabbed a few dollars of cash to head to the vending machine. I ask Simon, “Babe, do you want anything from the vending machine?” Simon says “Maybe...surprise me.” I kissed him and then left. I got there and bought a couple things of chips and a couple drinks.

I get back to the room, open the door and say “Dinner is served.” He was sitting against the head board with an arm resting behind his head. He smiles and says “Oooh, my favorite.” I sit back down next to him. We ate and drank what I bought. After a little bit, I decided to get ready for bed. I brush my teeth and crawl into bed. After a few minutes, he gets ready and joins me.

Simon wraps his arms around me and I run my fingers up and down his arm. He kisses my right temple. I turn my head and kiss him. The kiss lasted for a little bit and then we tried to go to sleep.

The next morning, we woke up and began getting ready to check out. We did a few check overs to make sure we had everything packed up. We then headed to the front desk to drop off the key and then headed to the car.

We placed our bags in the back and in the back seat. Simon got in the driver seat again and I in the passenger seat. The second leg took us to a small town just outside of Berlin, New Hampshire. Same thing as before, we just stopped at a small motel and spent the night.

#Simon Itani imagines #Simon Itani x reader #Simon Itani x female reader #Simon Itani #Rami Malek imagines #Rami Malek x reader #Rami Malek x female reader #Rami Malek fanfiction

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horseluvr00-ff · 5 years ago

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A Place to Call Home | Chapter 7

Masterlist Here

Rating: T+

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Genre/Warnings:��action/adventure/family | kidnapping, violence, strong language

Summary: It’s been a few months since the Battle of New York. Steve Rogers is acclimating to life when he crosses paths with teenager Katelyn Sanders, a SHIELD recruit and highly valued asset with a dark past. Follow Kate’s adventure from SHIELD asset to Avenger to wanted fugitive over the course of her youth and into adulthood with her Avenging family. Follows Infinity Saga and beyond.

Words: 9,468

Disclaimer: Majority of properties within this fanfic are owned by Marvel/Disney. My OC Katelyn Sanders, as well as a few other unaffiliated things within this fanfic are of my own creation.

Author Note: Chapters usually average between 6,000 and 8,000 words. Relogs are welcome :) Please no plagiarism.

gif source: @smartsnhearts

Full story available on FanFiction.net and A03 here and here

Chapter 7 can be found here and here in full. Go here to the full prologue tumblr post… So many options.

The most recently posted chapter on these platforms, chapter 12, can be found here and here.

Check out the first few paragraphs of Chapter 7 below:

BANG BANG BANG

Kate's eyes snap open, the noise echoing throughout her room as someone proceeded to hit the door again to alert her of them entering.

She quickly pushed herself up off the bed, turning her eyes towards the door as it was pushed open and two individuals walked in.

"Let's go." He nodded to the way out.

She pushed up off of the bed before walking towards him. Her hands subconsciously raised and he locked on cuffs before directing her out of the room. Walking down the hall, her eyes were on the floor mostly. There wasn't anything new to look at.

As usual, around once a month she ate meals with other recruits. She was unsure as to why. Other recruits ate meals in the cafeteria normally. She ate alone, mostly because her training didn't leave much time for meals throughout the day. Eating only slowed her down, so she usually received the essential nutrients from an IV pump or through other means. She had light foods on occasion if she didn't have training the following day.

As they got closer to one of the elevators, her eyes lifted to see Doctor Gordon waiting.

"You know the drill. No talking to anyone. Eat something and then report back." Gordon states, barely looking at her before he scanned his badge next to the elevator door and pressed the up button.

Walking into the elevator, Kate's eyes were down before the doors closed behind them. The two individuals who had retrieved her from her room were still behind her, a hand was still gripping her shoulder - the one who had directed her about the halls.

When the elevator came to a stop, Kate felt the hand leave her shoulder as one of the men left the elevator, the other walking in front of her to remove the cuffs.

She was quiet as they ushered her out and down the hall a few feet before they left her there and headed back for the elevator.

Kate stood there for a moment, alone in the hall as different employees walked to and fro down the hallway.

Clenching her jaw, Kate crossed her arms before heading down the hall. As she came to the end of it, the space opened up into the cafeteria. The sound of chatter picked up as Kate entered the space and made a beeline for the end of the line. She quickly grabbed a tray and looked up to meet the eyes of the employee standing there ready to take ID cards from the recruits.

She didn't have one. As soon as the man's eyes met hers, realization came over his face and he nodded for her to go.

Kate tried to keep her head down as she went through the line, grabbing some tiny portions of random food before exiting the line. At the beverage counter, Kate quickly grabbed a bottled water, mug, and snatched a random tea bag from the boxes available. She then found a table with no one sitting at it and set her tray down.

She didn't like sitting in the cafeteria. There were way too many people, and there were extra staff - armed staff - in the room because she was there.

Ripping open the small package, Kate removed the tea bag before placing it into her mug. Taking the water bottle, she poured half of it before placing it next to her tray. Might as well let it steep now, then heat it later. There was a small line near the microwave.

Kate quickly went to work on her food. She needed to eat quickly.

…. Okay, that wasn't entirely necessary. But Gordon would find an excuse to get angry, so best hurry to avoid retribution.

Kate had been with SHIELD for a long time. It was a little blurry every now and then, but she could put a timeline together in her head if she had the right headspace to think about it. She knew most of the employees, at least the ones that worked with her, and had her schedule down. However something had changed more recently and she was unsure as to what was going on. Doctor Gordon was rushing a lot. He was more anxious and seemed as if he wanted to get to a certain point in her training before something else could take place.

The sound of the elevator opening caused Kate to tense up immediately.

Crap. They're coming to get her already. Had fifteen minutes gone by that quickly? There was no way.

Kate tilted her head only slightly. Agent Hill was coming. Weird. She didn't usually visit the cafeteria out of the blue, unless she had superiors with her. There was someone else. Someone she didn't recognize. A man.

Kate was quiet as she picked at some of her food, zoning out the chatter of the room as she tried to pick up on Hill's voice. She seemed to be telling this man about the facility. After a few seconds, Kate heard a quiet ringing. A phone.

Moments later Agent Hill walked away and Kate shot a quick glance over, seeing the man standing there alone, looking a bit lost. Weird. Why was he here? Time for bad decision making.

Collecting her mug, Kate got up from her seat and headed towards the microwave. She got a quick glance at the man who was standing there evaluating the room. As she drew closer he seemed to eye her in particular.

Who was he? Dirty blond hair, blue eyes, strong build… Most likely a field agent. However there was something different about him, he didn't seem like the normal field agents that visit the facility.

Kate felt her hand gripping the mug tighten as she proceeded to walk closer to him.

Great, he's standing in front of the microwave. What could make the day better than having to speak to an unfamiliar and most likely green agent. Gordon would have her head.

"Excuse me sir," Kate cleared her throat and gestured to the wall behind him where the microwave was sitting.

At her words, the man quickly turned to see he was blocking the appliance and moved out of the way, giving her a small smile.

Kate tried to be respectful, but also avoid eye contact. She shouldn't be talking with anyone to begin with.

Placing the mug into the microwave she closed the door and put a time on the keypad before pressing the start button. The device began to hum as the table within started to slowly spin.

Kate hesitantly turned her eyes, seeing the man looking out over the room at the other recruits. By his posture, he seemed a bit uneasy, but also curious and observant. He was definitely new. But why was he here? She hadn't seen Agent Hill take anyone on a tour of the facility except higher up agents, the council- or whatever the Director of SHIELD called them. She had seen them before visiting once. They wanted to see her in particular since she's supposed to be of great importance to SHIELD's future field wor-

Kate's eyes dot towards the microwave as she felt eyes on her. The man was eyeing her. He was trying to be discreet… key word being trying. She waited a moment to see if he was planning on engaging in conversation or if he was just curious. Perhaps he already knew who she was.

Kate clenched her jaw after a moment, her focus on this man next to her as she waited for the microwave to finish heating her tea this century. How long did she even put it in for?

He was wearing a sort of all black tactical suit. It was different from others she had seen. There was a star on his chest and faint stripes. He stood very straight and seemed pretty attentive; probably from a military background.

"Excuse me, miss?"

God damn it.

Kate turned quickly, her hands already having gone behind her back as she adjusted her posture.

"Sir?" She responds, her eyes meeting his. She could tell almost immediately how he was hesitant to speak up.

"You're a recruit for Oriah correct?" He looked very hesitant, but his voice was pretty confident. His approach was very different from pretty much every individual from SHIELD she had encountered previously. All agents addressed her from a position of authority; however he was talking to her like you would a random stranger you stop on the side of the road to ask for directions.

"Yes sir, I am." Kate nodded in response to his question, trying to mask some of her own hesitation while talking to him. "What's your name?"

Ok he definitely didn't know who she was. While no one really told Kate what her stake was in SHIELD, she knew she was treated much differently from other recruits. They held her in high regard, she was valuable. They had plans for how she would serve SHIELD in the future. This man obviously wasn't aware of that. Which was kind of amusing for some reason.

"Katelyn, or just- Kate." That sounded weird coming out of her mouth. She hadn't said her name out loud in- a while. Hell, she hadn't really spoken out loud in a while either, so that was an interesting change.

"Alright Kate, I'm Captain Steve Rogers." The now named stranger held out a hand and Kate froze.

What the hell? This guy was a riot. He really had no idea about this program did he?

It took several seconds, but Kate finally held out a hand and shook his.

"Wondered if you could answer a couple questions? I'm a little new here." He chuckled.

No kidding.

Kate gave him a small nod as he smiled. He was a little nervous. He was hiding it well, but still. She could tell, no supernatural abilities needed. Wait- she needed to say something in response.

"I -uh, yes sir, Captain." She dropped her hand from his before turning them behind her back.

A beeping filled the air and Kate paid it no mind as she eyed the Captain.

"How uh, how long have you been here?" He asked.

Kate was quiet for only a moment while thinking over her answer. She was somewhat sure, but needed to give him the impression that she was pretty certain. If she was unsure, it might set off alarm bells.

"Coming up on three years, Captain." Kate gave him a nod, making sure to remain standing attentively while answering his questions.

"That considered a long time?" Captain Rogers asked, bringing his hands up to rest on his belt. He did the action so smoothly and without thought, it was almost like he did it subconsciously. His posture relaxed a bit, but remained straight. He was getting more comfortable.

"Not necessarily." Kate responded, eyeing him calmly. "I guarantee there could be individuals who have been here longer, but I suppose it's longer than most of the recruits here."

Emphasis on that statement. She couldn't really think of anyone who had been there longer than she was, not of the top of her head at least. There were some, no doubt about that. But Oriah was fairly new when she got there. It was small, private, and not on the large scale that it was now.

"And with the training you've received. It's been beneficial? Have you found it helpful?" Captain Rogers asked.

Kate clenched her jaw at the question, taking a moment to just stare at his curious and almost innocent expression.

"I- suppose so, sir." Kate says, still watching him as she calmed her confused appearance.

For the first time in a while, Kate was at a loss for what to do - Who the hell was this guy? No one talked to her like that. He was obviously very new to this program- hell, maybe even SHIELD. Why did he have to pick her? She'd get into so much trouble for this later.

"Captain Rogers, a word."

Crap. Agent Hill.

Kate quickly adjusted her stance and almost went rigid as she stood straighter, her hands tightening behind her back as she unfocused her eyes from Captain Rogers.

The Captain had turned away from her and was eyeing the Deputy Director of SHIELD when she turned to look at Kate.

"Sanders you can go, I apologize." Agent Hill waved a hand, giving her permission to leave.

"It's not a problem, ma'am." Kate quickly nodded before turning to the Captain. "Sir," She gave him a curt nod and waited a moment for a response.

Captain Rogers gave her a small smile before nodding in response. That's- one way to dismiss an inferior non-agent er- recruit.

Kate quickly turned and grabbed her tea from the microwave before heading for her table. She took a seat, remaining very attentive and straight in her posture. Until they left the room, Kate wanted to remain vigilant.

"If you're done breaking protocol, I have to get a report back to the director. I'll escort you out." Agent Hill spoke.

Kate's brow knit as she turned only slightly to see the Captain following Agent Hill. Seconds later the man turned and Kate's head shot back towards the table, but she could still tell his eyes were on her before he left the room.

Kate slowly looked back over towards where they had disappeared. Odd. Wait-... Damn it.

Her eyes shooting towards the clock, Kate noticed it was past her time to be in the cafeteria. Gulping down her now lukewarm tea, Kate threw the remains of her meal into the trash before she headed towards the hall opposite of where Captain Rogers and Agent Hill left.

Gordon wouldn't be happy.

The rest of chapter 7 can be found here on FFN and here on AO3. Take a peak!

Stay healthy, stay safe, sending lots of love. <3

Masterlist Here

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afteriwake · 6 years ago

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Life’s Lessons (2/?)

So I decided I’m going to mostly tackle this fic for WIPBB, but @greenskyoverme is super duper patient with how long it takes me to update her fics that I wanted to toss up a couple of updates this go round to a few of the fics. There may be a few more chapters up before WIPBB starts, but this is just setting things up (I’m thinking I’ll do a time skip to after them getting hired in a few chapters, so maybe up to that point I’ll post updates until WIPBB is over),

Life’s Lessons - When a piece of alien technology Scotty had found during the later part of their five-year mission transports Kirk and Spock to 21st century Iowa, they make do on the assumption that returning to their time period is an impossibility. But as time goes on, things between them change in ways that surprise and eventually delight them, and suddenly not being able to go home doesn't seem so bad.

READ CHAPTER 1 | READ CHAPTER 2 | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI?

There were no bar brawls, thankfully, but it hadn’t been Kirk that made the most money. He and Spock had each gone to separate tables to play and Spock made twice as much as he did. It got to be a status symbol to try and beat the new guy with the weird ears, and eventually, the two of them played each other, at Kirk’s suggestion, and Spock “lost” by scratching the eight ball. All in all, they had almost a thousand dollars.

But Kirk knew that wasn’t going to be enough for them to survive on for more than a week. Still, it gave them money for a room at a decent place, some dinner and some time to figure out more of what they needed to do. He’d picked up a six pack of beer by some miracle without adequate ID, and he knew that would be the first thing they needed.

“We need to go to another bar and do this again tomorrow,” he said, lying down on his bed in the room. “And then we need to go buy this archaic piece of technology called a laptop. We also need other stuff which is harder to find.”

“Such as?” Spock asked.

“Identification, backgrounds that can pass any really detailed inspection, whatever we might need for an apartment.” Kirk reached over and picked up a bottle of beer. Not as good as a Romulan ale but still, it would suffice. “If we’re here we need to settle in, get situated. The hustling isn’t going to work for long, and honestly, the best bet would be if we become teachers of some sort. You could teach...I don’t know, chemistry? Physics? And I could teach English. That was the subject in school I did best in.”

“Why would the people in this time need to learn their own language?” Spock asked with a frown.

Kirk chuckled. “I’d teach English literature. Not the language.” Then he sighed. “If Uhura was here, she could teach any number of foreign languages. She was such a polyglot.”

Spock was quiet for a moment. “I...miss her.”

“Oh crap,” Kirk said, shutting his eyes. “I didn’t mean--”

“We had not reconciled,” Spock said. “I had...reservations, still. About many things.”

Kirk was quiet for a moment. “Like what?” he asked.

“I was not sure we were compatible anymore. I think my feelings had been waning as of late. Mostly of the romantic type; she is still someone I care for. But the feelings were not as strong. There had been...others...those feelings had shifted towards.”

“I’m sorry,” Kirk said, and he meant it. “There’s got to be a way we can get back, eventually. We can figure it out later.”

“One can hope,” Spock said.

Kirk’s mouth hitched up slightly. “That sounds very human of you.”

“I believe while I am in this time and place I should begin to embrace my human lineage,” he said. “I think it will help me to acclimate more.”

“Just keep that temper of yours in check,” Kirk said. “And I’ll keep my smart mouth from running too much.” He had more of his beer. “We can think on this more in the morning but for now, it’s probably best to get some sleep.” With that, he finished off the beer and then set the bottle on the nightstand before getting up and stripping out of his uniform. He’d been fortunate enough the suits worn during an emergency seemed to resemble biker outfits, but tomorrow, clothing to fit in would need to be a priority. Once he was down to his underwear he slipped into the bed. “Night, Spock. Feel free to watch some TV until you actually need to sleep.” Spock nodded, picking up the remote and looking at it for a moment. Kirk watched with a grin before shutting his eyes and willing himself to sleep.

#star trek aos #spirk #Kirk x Spock #fanfic #fanfiction #greenskyoverme #james kirk #spock #multipart: life's lessons

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bloojayoolie · 7 years ago

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Cats, Children, and Complex: DRAK0200 24250-3 years old Good looking, friendy, tail waggy, very playfu, affectionate, loves walks andbaths knows some basic commands - Soft& social during behavior eval &earned all s A+ Manhattan ACC Waiting for Love TO BE KILLED - 4/14/2018 HANDSOME FACE PAIRED WITH A SPECIAL HEART! Drake is known to "lick people hello" at the shelter. This classic, handsome youngster came to the shelter wagging his tail, greeting everyone and leaving everyone puzzled at why he was discarded. Some people are not wiling, or ready to be responsible pet owners and will offer up an excuse; for Drake this is unjust and tragic. The shelter reports him to be full of life, seeking to play, solicit affection and shine. He is entering his prime, and aside from catching the shelter cold, he is in optimum health and condition. His face is perfectly proportioned with big brown eyes, and a mega watt smile. It's impossible not to notice this young man. Fostering is free, short term with transport available. Drake's time is officially up at the shelter. The odds are stacked tightly against him, especially with this being the start of the weekend. Please message this page if you can foster or adopt this deserving, young, handsome family pet. DRAKE@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Drake My animal id is #24250 I am a male tan dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 3 years old, Came into shelter as stray Apr. 1, 2018 Drake is rescue only Drake is at risk due to behavior and medical concerns. Drake has a New Hope Only determination and should go to an adult only home where he can be given an appropriate amount of time to decompress in new situations. He also has been diagnosed with Canine Infectious Respiratory Disease Complex and will likely need in home care with a course of antibiotics. My medical notes are... Vet Notes 1/04/2018 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 3 Microchip noted on Intake? n Microchip Number (If Applicable): n History : DOH Bite - bite owners after being reprimanded for peeing in the house Subjective: BAR Observed Behavior - excited and playful, allowed for examination, suspicious of people, very tens on exam Evidence of Cruelty seen - n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective T = - P = 108 R = wnl BCS = 4/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: teeth in good cond PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: two descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal Assessment: Healthy Prognosis: Excellent Plan: Neuter SURGERY: Okay for surgery 8/04/2018 SO BAR in kennel; eating well. EENT -- no ocular discharge. mucoid nasal discharge present; snuffling during observation. A CIRDC P doxycycline 100mg tablets -- give 3 tablets PO q24h x 14 days. cerenia 60mg tablet - give 1/2 tablet PO q24h x4days. Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 1. Green Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake, Drake was wagging his tail but would sometimes hard stare. When outside of the crate, Drake had a loose and wiggly body. Drake attempted to lick handler's face and was very affectionate. Drake allowed all handling. Basic Information:: Drake is a 3 year old unaltered large breed dog that the owner got from her sister six months ago. The owner is surrendering due to Drake biting her husband and daughter. The owner has never taken Drake to the veterinarian. Previously lived with:: 2 adults and 1 teenager How is this dog around strangers?: Drake is described as very friendly and playful with strangers. How is this dog around children?: Drake has only lived with a 17 year old girl and he was always playful with her. How is this dog around other dogs?: Drake has never been around other dogs. How is this dog around cats?: Drake has never been around cats. Resource guarding:: Drake is not bothered when his food bowl is touched while he eats or if a treat or toy is taken from him. Bite history:: Drake bit the owner's husband and daughter for the first time four days ago but he has never bitten or scratched another animal or person prior to this incident. Housetrained:: Partially Energy level/descriptors:: high Other Notes:: Drake hides when he hears loud noises. Drake is not bothered when he is taken off furniture, restrained, disturbed while he sleeps, or when he is brushed. Drake loves being bathed. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No For a New Family to Know: Drake is described as very playful. The owner's favorite thing about Drake is that he loves to be affectionate. Drake's favorite thing to do is go outside and go on walks. When the owner is home, Drake follows her around. Drake likes to play with balls and squeaky toys. Drake is kept mostly indoors and when taken outside, he uses the dirt. Drake sleeps on a special rug he has. Drake is free fed Purina dry food, wet food causes diarrhea. Drake knows how to sit, stop, and get off on command. On a leash, Drake pulls very hard. Date of intake:: 4/1/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner Surrender (In home for 6 months) Previously lived with:: Adults and a teenager (age 17) Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly and playful Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: Yes, Drake bit his owner when the owner attempted to push him back into the crate after Drake had peed in the house. He hit Drake on the hind quarter and Drake bit him, holding on. The owner's daughter attempted to pull Drake off her father's arm and Drake bit her leg. Both bites broke skin and required medical treatment. Housetrained:: Partially Energy level/descriptors:: Drake is described as very playful with a high level of activity. Date of assessment:: 4/8/2018 Look:: 1. Dog's eyes are averted, with tail wagging and ears back. Allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity:: 1. Dog leans into the Assessor, eyes soft or squinty, soft and loose body, open mouth. Tag:: 1. Dog assumes play position and joins the game. Or dog indicates play with huffing, soft 'popping' of the body, etc. Dog might jump on Assessor once play begins. Paw squeeze 1:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Paw squeeze 2:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Flank squeeze 1:: Item not conducted Flank squeeze 2:: Item not conducted Toy:: 1. Minimal interest in toy, dog may smell or lick, then turns away. Summary:: Drake quickly approached the assessor in the assessment room with a soft body and jumped up in a social manner. He remained social throughout the assessment, allowed all handling, and displayed no concerning behaviors. Date of intake:: 4/1/2018 Summary:: Drake had a loose, wiggly body and allowed handling. Date of initial:: 4/1/2018 Summary:: Drake was active, tense, and allowed handling. ENERGY LEVEL:: Drake's previous owner described him as having a high level of activity. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: NEW HOPE ONLY Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to Drake's bite history, we recommend an adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to Drake's bite history, the behavior department recommends Drake be placed with a New Hope placement partner who is able to provide an experienced adult-only foster home. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Drake to acclimate comfortably to his new environment; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing Drake to new and unfamiliar situations. Consultation with a professional trainer/behaviorist is highly recommended for guidance to safely manage/modify any behavior Drake presents with outside of the care centers. Potential challenges: : House soiling,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression,Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression Potential challenges comments:: House soiling: Drake is noted to have accidents in the house, and will likely need guidance with house training. We recommend positive reinforcement, reward-based training only. Accidents should never be punished as this will likely make the problem worse. Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Drake has bitten when being forced into a crate. It is important to never forcibly push Drake or give him harsh corrections. Positive reinforcement, force-free training only should be used with Drake. Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression: Drake bit two people in his previous home in a highly charged incident where one of the people was forcing him into a crate. At the care center, he has displayed social behavior, but we do not know what else may trigger him. Guidance from a professional trainer/behaviorist is recommended to assess behavior after decompression in a new home environment. Force-free, reward based training is advised when introducing or exposing Drake to new and unfamiliar situations. DRAKE IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Cats #Children #and C

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ramblingsandruminations · 8 years ago

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When Suicidal Ideation is the norm

All the help in the world becomes a muddy puddle of shitty affirmations, thorned gaslighting, and useless guilt. If one more person tells me "have you tried yoga/deepbreaths/vitamin B..." Ugh. Who am i kidding? This is tumblr, where you can always find somone who says exactly what you are thinking ( #omgmetho #datme #meirl ). Weve all heard the "stop giving advice and atart taking it " speech, we're all likely to have read some post about the "evils" and " abuses" of therapy and inpatient treatment, and I'll bet a paper hat, some vending machine doodad, or some shitty-yet-adorably-hipsterly prize that within 100 reblogs someone links to some news article about "Queer Youth Completes Suicide And We Think You Will Pay Us to Feel Bad About It, Don't Forget To Like, Share, and Subscribe to Trevor Project, Your Reblog Will Save A Life (And Keep Us Relevant For Our Advertisers)." Tomorrow(well, next daylight hours) my 26-year-old depressed college freshman self is going to walk into my schools coubseling office and tell them i never recieved the location for the therapist they reffered me to (true story--Honestly not avoiding treatmwnt, even if it is useless) and request a second referral. Ill sit through some lecture about self-advocacy veiled in "concerned questions" and once again be misgendered, deadnamed, and criticized for giving a fuck (note: commenters looking to describe me with the word "cuck," i see you there, good for you, let me know how that white kkknight holier than thou red pill rage fest dopamine addiction is filling the gaping void of existential dread within you). After that, there is always a small chance they'll see just how depressed i am, and faster than you can say "looney is a word based in misogynistic beliefs of womens mental health and menstrual cycles being unhealthily and unscientifically connected to the moon," ill be fielding questions which boil down to "do you want to kill yourself" and "do you have a plan." By this time in my life, i've gotten pretty used to BSing my way around psychology. All it really takes is knowing that all they can take you on is your word, and nothing else. "Do you want to kill yourself?" they ask, and i reply "*short pause, heavy, short exhale denoting weight and truth* Well, yeah. But quite frankly, suicidal ideation is a part of my everyday life- nothing i do isn't plagued with some form of "i should wrap this mouse cord aroubd my neck and die" or " i wonder if that branch is strong enough to support my weight" or "man, my head hurts, but i bet a bottle or two of ibuprofen could make it stop." For me, its not a question of wanting to die, its a matter of what do i have to live for, and ive been through enough inpatient DBT and group therapy to help me cope, using breathing techniques and self-care tips to push me through the worst of it." This is usually if not always all they need to hear. Sure, im depressed, but anything they could tell me is something i know and am already doing-i sound to them more like a patient leaving inpatient than one entering it. Our hospitals are overfilled, understaffed, prqctucally unfunded; if im "stable" im staying out of their ledger book. Occasionally, they still worry, having one of those "consciences" their peers claim to have lost when a schizophrenic patient tried to bite their ear off, and ask a follow up "but are you sure? You seem distressed, and if you need some help, we are here for you," to which all i have to do is look at them through sad, but strong eyes and say "Thank you, but i have a great support network of friends and of course, my boyfriend. He's fantastic, and one of the most important things to have happened to me. He keeps me on this side of the dirt." A small tired chuckle, and their focus diverts towards affirmations of how good it is to have support, their therapy brains running on autopilot. Then all it needs is some "active" listening, uh-huhs, and compliant assurance that ill keep working on myself to assuage them of any guilt or corncern. Maybe, though, ill tell them the truth, and let them take me in. Three hots and a cot, after all. I'll fight through my dysphoria as they ogle every nook and cranny of my malformed body trying to see if im hiding a weapon or some drugs; I'll continue to insist on a private room and remind them calmly yet firmly that no, i will *not* room with a male, and their lack of knowledge on how to treat a transgender non-binary patient is well behind on proper treatment according to WPATH, the APA, and our state govt. When i get a room, theyll say that i should take as much time as i need to get acclimated, and not worry about what the rwat of group is qorking on, and then contradict themselves within 5 minutes and say i need to go to group, theyre waiting on me. In my fresh new scrubs, ill walk in and within seconds, ill identify how th staff monitors who came in when (usually different colored scrubs based on different halves of the week, and of course, anyone likely to leave within 48 hours wearing "normal" clothes), and see the therapist or doctor talking about emotional management techniques. When i sit down, eeyes will be on me, some with looks of angey jusgemwnt, some with awe and wonder: what could THEY be in for? The group leader will ask me my name, ill state it and my pronouns (to several uncomfortable shifts in the room), and theyll let me know what they were talking about. Ill make a good effort to participate, play along, etc. Someone in the group will be desperate to control the conversation, talking more and more as if this entire experience is just for them- another person will be too dissociated to say anyrhing, despite the doctors attebpts to get them to open up. Already, the cliques will become apparent; humans are aocial creatures, after all. When we leave for the next scheduled activity (either rec or lunch, depending on the time) the docs will be watching me- im on suicide watch, and they expe t me to jump out a window or try and slit my wrists with a paperclip or something. Im not a danger in this regard; ive been threatened with solitary and ECT if i dont comply before- i am their prisoner and i must comply. Within an hour or two of being there, ill be able to notice how well funded they are (or more likely, arent.) The quality of their reading materials; the availability of puzzles abd how well taken care of they appear. Recreation will be the most bare of kindergarden activities; coloring books, maybe a tv with basic cable. A daycare for adults, abd not the cool buzzfeed articles. Someone, probably an addict, will be trying to fanangle their attendee into giving them special treatement- a snack, or an extra smoke break. I'll be sitting in a corner, smirking- the staff arent even an eigth as dumb as this person thinks, and they've seen this type before. They might get something, but itll cost them sour looks from staff and less accommodating treatment with the doctors. After the second hour, we'll have another activity (second group, rec, or maybe "outside time" if its a particularly fancy facility; while the sun will certainly be shining, our feelings of freedom will be dampened by the high fances and walls keeping us from getting away). This is usually wheb the realization sets in that im stuck here for 72 hours plus, and ill be counting them down to stave off boredom. 15-30 minutes in to this third hour, ill be called in to meet tye psychiatrist, fisrt meeting with an attendee to fill out the generic details, then 30-45 minutes of diagnosis before im told ill be put on ab antidepressant, an anxiolytic, and tramodol, a sedative marketed as "something to help me sleep" and "another antidepressant" which makes me laugh every time. Tramodol is the auppressant, the "slow down" drug which helps keep everyobe on a nice, calm level thats safer for the orderlies. Were i violent, id concur; instead, i begin to wonder how long it will take before i no longer feel persistently asleep once i leave. A couple weeks, likely. Hopefully, the food will be good, but not likely 5 star- one place ive stayed had been cooking for us in the break room, sometimes PB&J, sometimes microwaved quesadillas. Maybe theyll have more drink options than coffee, water, and sugar-free koolaid- maybe not. Likely not. Some of us will complain; most of us will know it is a fruitless endeavor. After another group or two, it will be dinner, then wrap up group. We will discuss what progress we think we made today, and be sent to bed after meds are distributed in little paper ketchup cups. Most places wont do the "cuckoos nest" tongue check, but some will, particularly the ones with kleptos and pill ODers. Lights oyt will be around 10 pm, the beds will be plasticky and the blankets thin, and sleep will only cone rhanks to our sedatives. Day two, we'll be woken early, around 6-7, by an orderly checking our blood pressure and body temp. Well all gather in the hallway, rubbing sleep out of our eyes and head to the eating area for breakfast- which loooking back will likely be the best meal of the day, not the least be ause we have access to augar and caffiene. By now, i will likely have made a friend, probably with an older woman or two, and we will enjoy surreptitiously smirking at each other when the teoublemaker patwnt tries to get an omlette or something silly. Someone will start telling fanciful stories dreamed up in the night; talk will eventually turn to who is leaving today. The orderlies will be trying to not look too interested in what we reveal to each other instead of them. They will not succeed in this. Ths first morning they will use as a test of how i deal with frustration. An older nurse will act exasperated, as though taking care of me is a curse she was tasked with. She will try to cut theough any response i give her, and rudely discount anything i try to say, as if accuaing me of lying. Knowing it is coming doesnt help it hurt less. If it overwhelms me, ill be labeled as dramatic- if not, as detached. Sluggish from the new medications, i will be treated as though i ahould not be here, and will be led aroubd more quickly than i am rady to be. I will notice that part of it is that i am beginning to realize how broken down i feel i am. Reaching out will result in canned answers and "the doctor is busy's". After all, this iant about me, and theyve seen my type before. At lunch, i will be upset by the bland meal, abd ask if they have any hot sauce, or maybethey will be out of a preferred tea, or the food will not be enough to feed me. The newcomer who arrived at morning group will share a look with the quiet patient. I will try not to notice the parallels. A therapist will ask to talk to me today. It may be a nice session, but will essebtially boil down to "let me give you ideas for solving your problems, so that your depression seems more managed." By the end of the day, they will already begin my release plan. Theyve fixed me, they are sure. I will also get my clothes back. The aurvey will be slightly different today; instead of asking on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being best abd 10 being worst how was my day, it will be the opposite: scale of 1-10 with 1 being worst and 10 being best. This way, they can track how much is me being honest, and how much is me remembering numbers to fake it. (Once, a nurse messed up so often that it was a sentence by sentence change). Later, if there is any improvement, it will be used by the hospital as signs that treatment is helping; if it gets worse, that i had a rough day and shouldnt think much of it. Bedtime will come, and i will relish it- being sedated takes a lot out of a person. When morning comes, the eggs will feel soggy and cereal with be a much better choice. A bagel will be carried into morning group and more DBT will be discussed. I will mostly be checked out; they are pulling most of their material from a 12 step program, and the leader is a student of psychology learning how to help people, but ive heard it all before, and that sense of guilt just pushes me towards suicide harder. At this point, ill feel just how desperate they are to get me out; nurses eill hint at things being the "wrong" answer with " you dont REALLY mean that, do you sweetie?" and " well, you cant keep thinking THAT way, or we'll have to keep you here longer." Boredom and longing for home will encourage me to pretend to be better, and not tell them how last night before falling asleep i stared at the vedfrane wondering if i could take it apart and form a springwire noose, or tear the blankets to make a rope. When they ask if im feeling better, it will actually mean "are you done with your timeout from reality? Have you learned how to fit in properly yet?" The meds wont really begin having a noticable effect for months- they know im lying. What they hope for is a glimmer of hope and a mountain of guilt for wanting to hurt others by hurting myself. Ill fake those, too. Still, ill be misgendered. Still, theyll blame hormones and buzzfeed rather than neurology and chemistry. After all, im well-adjusted, not at all like the Caitlyn Jenners and Wachowskis they read about on their facebooks. Its just a phase, and im just confused. I didnt try to hurt myself- nothing is *really* wrong with me. What can i do? Try and strangle myaelf, or others? That just means im lashing out, and ill get a new med regime and another 3 days, this time strapped down. Being strapped to a bed and left alone is mind-numbingly boring. If i tell them i still want to kill myaelf, theyll just nod their head and tell me it will go away soon; if i say i have a plan, rheyll keep me playing chess and reading AA papers until i apologize. Their job is not to fix me, their job is to stabilize me and make sure i dont break myself more. The fixing is my responsibility. Day four is release day. They will claim i have made improvements and have me fill out an action plan for when i feel depressed again. It will include people i can call, and ways i can push through bad feelings. It is my exit exam.when i pass, ill be set up with a therapist outside the hospital later in the week, and told how to connect with various resources. They will think i didnt know there were trans support groups. I will think that if it was just a support group i needed, i wouldnt dream of death. Neither of us will admit these things. And so, ill come back to school. Late on homework, i will have to prostrate myaelf with dictors note beggibg for forgiveness. I will get it, more due to policy than empathy, and at the end of the day, i will lay in bed, stare up at the ceiling, and contemplate which of my top three anchor spots would be the best ending to my story. Other than medical bills, nothing will have changed. Life drones on. I think i understand why death seems,so much better. In death, i can pretend there is a solution. In death, i can imagine a cure. In death, i can envision a caretaker and easier existence. It doesnt matter that death is the end of it all- i can pretend it willl be more, and my imagination can create many comforts in that void. But even death is a lie, and nothing will ever stop hurting.

#psychology #depression #inpatient #suicidal ideation #existentialism

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laberintos-espinas · 5 years ago

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Ironman North Carolina

I got an email yesterday that the PPD Beach to Battleship Ironman separation race had been purchased out by the Ironman marked race partnership. This following year's form of the race would now be under the responsibility for Ironman and be accessible for fitting the bill to the World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. I had just moved toward this being a race that I returned to. I had a feeling that I had an incredible race in 2015 and needed to attempt to better my time on an extraordinary course in 2016. With this news going over, I had a few choices to make. Probably the greatest choice was whether I needed to join again at an increasingly costly rate for this race. I additionally may need to take a gander at moving my course of events up for my next multi year objective of meeting all requirements for Kona 70.3 training plan Reasonableness

In Triathlon dashing there are 4 unique separations that you can partake in, Sprint, Olympic, Half Ironman, and Ironman separations. Similarly as you would figure, there are more dash races than there are ironman races. In addition there are more organizations or race coordinators doing run races than there are ironman separation races. Truth be told the initial three separations for the most part have autonomous proprietors that give different chances to race consistently. There are not very many ironman separation races on the timetable, in addition, there are not very many ironman separation races that are not Ironman marked races. You can locate a couple of brands, for example, HITS that give several chances yet they don't race close to where I live. There is the Great Floridian Ironman separation race in Claremont, Florida and a couple of others around the territory of Florida. In North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee and so on there are simply no ironman separation races advertised. This is the reason the Beach to Battleship was so tempting in light of the fact that it was close and offered an ironman separation race. Thus, I need to settle on the choice whether I will do an ironman race this one year from now or not. On the off chance that I will do an ironman separation race in 2016, at that point with this ongoing updates on the Beach to Battleship getting purchased out, I would need to take a gander at the Ironman marked races.

One of different challenges with the Ironman marked races for me is the expense. The normal expense of doing a full Ironman marked race is around $700. Though the free Beach to Battleship was $375 in 2016 for the prompt riser rate which I utilized a year ago. This is a noteworthy increment in cash. My absolute dashing spending plan for the year is normally under $700. I realized that I would require the warmup occasions, for example, the White Lake Half in the Spring and the Lake Logan Half in August. I think both about these races set me up well a year ago and I needed to contend in them once more. This was going to extend my spending limit without a doubt. Subsequent to getting the email from the race about the deal, I started to take a gander at my alternatives.

I initially scanned for some other free ironman separation race inside 8 hours drive of Asheville, North Carolina. I was unable to discover any that were not as of now Ironman marked races. I at that point started to take a gander at my alternatives for Ironman marked races. I found that I truly had 4 choices. One was the Ironman Florida. I have had my attitude this was the Ironman marked race I would do first when I needed to launch my objective to meet all requirements for Kona. I took a gander at the cost sheet and they had just passed the Tier 1 expense and were into Tier 2 at around $750. The Ironman North Carolina was going to begin at $700. I precluded Florida and was amazed it was not sold out. I figured it would have sold out some time prior.

I at that point took a gander at Ironman Chattanooga. This race looked fascinating as it has a 116 mile bicycle ride. I took a gander at the cost sheet for it and it began at $675 however they were at that point past that marker and in truth as I looked more diligently they were at that point sold out. This looks like a race I should investigate for 2017. I additionally took a gander at Ironman Louisville. This race is one that I have heard is a decent one despite the fact that it makes them challenge hops on the bicycle ride and a difficult run course. I in the end returned to taking a gander at Ironman North Carolina. The expense was $700 and it would begin recruits on December eighteenth. I concluded that on the off chance that I would do an ironman separation race this year it would be this race.

I have had a decent year monetary and God has favored our family. My Christmas extra was more than I had expected and we had not spent as much in the month as anticipated. I realized we had a few costs coming up, yet in addition realized this was an exceptional time to enlist for a race that I had just finished and liked that may give me great shot to fit the bill for a slippery Kona space. I saw that this race would be given just 30 Kona openings. This implies I should complete in the main 3-5 places in my age gathering to have any shot of getting a Kona space. My better half has been unfathomably steady of this exertion too which makes it simpler. She was a little frustrated a year ago when I completed and there wasn't somebody declaring "You are an Ironman." She needed me to finish one that is Ironman marked! She likewise might want to go to Hawaii!! I sent a content to her to inquire as to whether I could enlist and we both concurred that I would despite the fact that I don't know she realizes the amount it costs.

Only a side note, I wish there were increasingly autonomous ultra separation races accessible in the southeast locale. There are a few half-ironman separation races, yet we need a greater amount of the more drawn out course races here. Ideally, this will keep on being something that is chipped away at right now.

Enrollment

I saw that the race webpage had been constructed and included a significant part of the data from the Beach to Battleship site, including a similar course directions. I realized that the course would be equivalent to in 2015. I noticed that the guide stations would have some extraordinary dietary needs. I making the most of my regard a year ago, so should acclimate to a portion of the items that are put at Ironman marked races. I was interested by the various ways you can pursue a race on this site. You can obviously buy your space out and out. You can likewise have a straight establishment space acquisition of double the brisk riser rate to help the Ironman Foundation or you can turn into a piece of the Ironman Foundation group and raise at least $3500 for the establishment and you get your spot for a $100 joining expense to the establishment. For a passing minute, I considered going the course of the establishment gathering pledges opening, yet reconsidered it when I saw that whatever you don't raise up to the $3500 is charged to you Visa. Yowser! I would like to utilize this one year from now to bring issues to light for a reason and to fund-raise for a reason, for example, Living Water International or Compassion International. My brother by marriage has Cystic Fibrosis and has been an immense motivation to do the entirety of this hustling on the grounds that he can't. I could fund-raise for the CF Foundation. I will settle on this decision later. With the entirety of this being thought of, I just felt free to choose to enlist the normal way and buy my brisk riser opening.

I went into the site when it opened around early afternoon Eastern Standard Time (EST). This was the point at which the enlistment symbol was accessible to click. The enrollment symbol took me to the Active.com site to enlist. I wonder why Ironman doesn't have its own enrollment site for this and keep away from the expenses Active charges. Obviously perhaps Active doesn't charge them anything since they have their own handling expenses. I navigated the distinctive enrollment screens including to affirm that I was 18 or over and sign the waiver electronically for an arrival of risk. The primary enrollment page incorporated some clinical inquiries, for example, drugs, crisis contact, and so on. There were additionally radio fastens that I was to click on the off chance that I comprehended the cutoff times for the swim, bicycle, and the run. You at that point needed to click that you comprehended the World Triathlon Federation's arrival of obligation. I additionally needed to enter my USA Triathlon ID number. I at that point click the total catch. The site alluded me to a blunder that my USAT number would be terminated when the race happened so I would need to either buy a pass on the site for the race or recharge my participation today to stretch out past the race cutoff time. I generally recharge my USAT enrollment in the spring of every year. I was baffled by this advancement since this is an extra $45 expense on the various charges for the race. I did without a doubt, however, go to my USAT site and restore my enrollment. I then reappeared the site and it let me past that specific spot.

I additionally demonstrated that I might want the $90 protection arrangement of the arrival everything being equal if for reasons unknown that was shown, for example, disease, injury, work migration, and so on that I could recover these charges. I think this resembles travel protection. You never figure you won't race on that day, however $90 can't a lot to solicit to recover all from the $700 if some unexpected event occurs. This Full Refund Plan appeared to be a coherent understanding, so I felt free to add it to my buy. The Active.com expenses came to $42 which appeared to be steep to me. I saw they have an enrollment plan called advantage thus I looked into that. On the off chance that you joined even on a preliminary premise you could recover your preparing expenses. I started to examine and the truth you don't recover the entirety of the $42 however up to $10. I agreed to pay the 99 penny preliminary expense. I likewise got $10 knocked off of the preparing charges. It might appear to be little however on an over $800 note, the $10 was a much needed development.

I had my aggregate and had entered the entirety of my information for the enlistment. I entered my Credit Card data and squeezed total! I got somewhat energized inside and somewhat anxious. This was not enlisting for any old race, however this was a real Ironman marked race. Toward the end they will declare "You are an Ironman." There is the genuine chance that with the correct preparing right now, I could wind up getting an opening to Kona. This enlistment just appeared to

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twittermemesofficial · 7 years ago

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Being Alone, Andrew Bogut, and Animals: Brownie Pie 25472 Iyears 6 months, 55 lbs riend At Manhattan ACC waiting for love Young & Handsome Friendly affectionate, playful, will need basic training, micro- chipped, up to date on vaccines NEUTERED & Ready To Go Home Today! **** TO BE KILLED – 4/25/2018 **** YOUNG, HANDSOME, NEUTERED & READY TO GO HOME <3 A volunteer writes: Eager to get out and show the world just what it's been missing, Brownie Pie is a bright-eyed young cutie with all the energy and chutzpah you'd expect to be hiding behind that mischievous smile and he's looking for a sidekick who can keep up the pace! His previous family didn't have the time to give him the attention he craves but he enjoyed 3 walks a day and I had to laugh when reading the comment that he pulls lightly on leash but off leash he's 'hard to catch'. Sure sounds like the Brownie Pie I know! We're told Brownie liked to follow his people around and play fetch with balls or squeaky toys and that he already knows commands for come, sit, down, stay, paw and even 'go to bed.' Playgroup is a bit intimidating at first but once he's spent a few minutes with new doggie friends Brownie loosens up and joins in the fun and we're told he's even cool with cats, meeting them with tolerance and respect. Around two-legged company he's all about the zoomies, running the yard from end to end and jumping up to shove my side after he's done so a home with no small kids would definitely be the best fit for this baby kangaroo. Friendly, affectionate, playful and pushy, Brownie Pie is ready to roll right out the door and into your arms, ask to meet him today! BROWNIE PIE@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Brownie Pie My animal id is #25472 I am a desexed male brown dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 1 years 6 months, 55 lbs Came into shelter as owner surrender Apr. 17, 2018 Reason Stated: NO TIME Brownie Pie is at risk for behavior reasons. Brownie Pie is fearful, and coupled with a high level of nervous energy, this risks translating into fear aggression, and we have seen his in-kennel behavior deteriorating recently. We recommend that Brownie Pie would be best suited to an adult only home. Medically, we have no concerns for Brownie Pie, who presents as a healthy dog. My medical notes are… Weight: 55.2 lbs Vet Notes Post Surgery Note 17/4/2018 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 1.5 years Microchip noted on Intake? POS Microchip Number (If Applicable):911002001478905 History: owner surrender Subjective:BAR Observed Behavior -friendly and energetic initially but tensed with more restraint and then started growling during tech check Evidence of Cruelty seen -n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam:muzzled for exam as precaution; mm appear pk/moist, adult dentitia with no significant tartar/staining PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: male intact, 2 scrotal testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate – no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal:grossly normal Assessment 1. Healthy young adult Prognosis:good Plan: -no further treatment SURGERY: Okay for surgery 21/04/2018 S:O – incision site looks healthy. No signs of inflammation or discharge A- healing appropriately P – benign neglect Details on my behavior are… Behavior Condition: 3. Yellow Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake Brownie Pie allowed all handling. He had a very loose body and wagging tail. He had a healthy appetite for office treats, allowed being collared and allowed being placed inside of a kennel. Date of Intake: 4/17/2018 Spay/Neuter Status: Unknown Basic Information:: Bronie Pie is a roughly 1 year old dog whom was gotten from a friend and kept in the same home for about a year. Unfortunately due to no time he was unable to be kept. Previously lived with:: 2 adults How is this dog around strangers?: Around strangers he is described as friendly and plays exuberantly How is this dog around children?: Around children he is described as playful and plays somewhat rough. How is this dog around other dogs?: Around other dogs he is described as playful and plays somewhat rough How is this dog around cats?: Around cats he is described as tolerant Resource guarding:: He has no known resource guarding issues. Bite history:: He has no known bite histories Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: High energy level Other Notes:: Brownie is described as hard to control, barks a lot and is afraid of being restrained and being given a bath. He isn't bothered with having his food or toys touched, being disturbed while asleep, being brushed or having his nails trimmed. He will bark when unfamiliar people approach his home or owner but quickly becomes relaxed and enjoys their company. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No For a New Family to Know: Brownie is described as friendly, affectionate, playful, pushy and excitable. He will follow you around, enjoys playing fetch with balls or squeak toys and was being fed Costco Brand dry dog food 2-3 times a day. He is well behaved when he is left alone, does well inside of a crate, knows the commands sit, come, down, stay, paw and go to bed. He was being walked 3 times a day, pulls lightly on leash and off leash he is hard to catch. Date of intake:: 4/17/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner Surrender (In home for 1 year) Previously lived with:: Adults Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly and exuberantly playful Behavior toward children:: Playful, somewhat rough at play Behavior toward dogs:: Playful, somewhat rough at play Behavior toward cats:: Tolerant Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Brownie Pie is described as friendly, affectionate, playful, pushy, and excitable a high level of activity. Date of assessment:: 4/19/2018 Look:: 2. Dog's eyes are averted, body posture is stiff and fearful, tail is low and not moving. Dog allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity:: 3. Dog stands tall and square, tail perpendicular to spine, mouth closed for the majority of the assessment item. Tag:: 2. Dog is not fearful, but is unresponsive when touched. Approaches the Assessor when the game ends (may need coaxing to approach). Dog is focused on stimuli other than the Assessor. Paw squeeze 1:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Paw squeeze 2:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Flank squeeze 1:: Item not conducted Flank squeeze 2:: Item not conducted Toy:: 1. Minimal interest in toy, dog may smell or lick, then turns away. Summary:: Brownie Pie appeared very alert in the assessment room, having a tense body and focusing on the exit and sounds he heard outside the room. He approached the assessor and remained tense, with his tail up and hackles raised. He allowed all handling. Summary:: Based on observation made by the previous owner and while in our care, Brownie Pie may benefit from slow introductions to respectful dogs. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Brownie Pie time to acclimate into a new environment. Summary (1):: 4/18: When introduced off leash to the female greeter dog, Brownie Pie appears fearful. He stiffens when solicited with play. Summary (2):: 4/19: Brownie Pie begins to open up and engage in play. He initially appears a bit tense, opens up more once comfortable. Date of intake:: 4/17/2018 Summary:: Brownie Pie had a loose body and allowed handling. Date of initial:: 4/17/2018 Summary:: Brownie Pie was social and active but tensed with restraint and growled. ENERGY LEVEL:: Brownie Pie's previous owner described him as having a high level or activity. He is a young, enthusiastic dog who will need daily mental and physical activity to keep him engaged and exercised. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 4/24 Update Brownie Pie remains aloof in the care center during interactions with his behavior appearing to deteriorate in kennel (hard barking at times upon approach, lunging/barking when dogs pass by). We cannot be certain if any other behavior is suppressed due to the stress of the shelter environment though recommend exercising appropriate management to best set Brownie Pie up for success. A period of decompression in highly advised before introduction to new and unfamiliar situations. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: ADULT ONLY HOME Behavior Asilomar: TM – Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13) Recommendations comments:: No children (under 13): Due to the tense body language during SAFER and aloof behavior Brownie Pie has displayed in the care center, we are recommending an adult only home to allow for a period of decompression before exposure to new and unfamiliar situations. Force-free, reward based training only is advised. Potential challenges: : Fearful/potential for defensive aggression,Kennel presence Potential challenges comments:: Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Brownie Pie appeared on high alert during his assessment, having a high tail and raised hackles. During his medical work up, he growled. Due to these behaviors combined with the aloof behavior he displays during one-one interactions, we recommend going slow with Brownie Pie to assess that he is comfortable with all social interactions. He should always be given the opportunity to walk away from interactions if he chooses to. Kennel Presence: While we cannot be certain if this behavior will appear in any other contexts, in highly emotionally charged or stressful environments Brownie Pie may show behavior similar to what he is currently demonstrating in his kennel. We recommend potential adopters be comfortable managing this behavior and keeping themselves safe in any similar future situations. * TO FOSTER OR ADOPT * If you would like to adopt a dog on our “To Be Killed” list, and you CAN get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process *within 48 hours of reserve*, you can reserve the dog online until noon on the day they are scheduled to die. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs. It should read, "reserve in progress". That is YOUR reserve. Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction Animal Care Centers of NYC (ACC) nycacc.org At-Risk Animals Thank you for your interest in adopting from Animal Care Centers of NYC. Our At Risk List is posted each day (except Saturday) at 6:00PM and remains viewable until 12:00PM noon the following day. newhope.shelterbuddy.com HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email [email protected] Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 Available Animals Thank you for your interest in adopting from Animal Care Centers of NYC. Our At Risk List is posted each day (except Saturday) at 6:00PM and remains viewable until 12:00PM noon the following day. newhope.shelterbuddy.com LIKE AND FOLLOW FOR NEW CONTENT EVERYDAY <3 for more visit: www.memelang.ml

#memes #funny #funnymemes #savage #savagememes #dopeaf #memesdaily #meme #funnyvideos #dankaf #dankmemes #goodmo

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bloojayoolie · 7 years ago

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Being Alone, Andrew Bogut, and Animals: Brownie Pie 25472 Iyears 6 months, 55 lbs riend At Manhattan ACC waiting for love Young & Handsome Friendly affectionate, playful, will need basic training, micro- chipped, up to date on vaccines NEUTERED & Ready To Go Home Today! **** TO BE KILLED - 4/25/2018 **** YOUNG, HANDSOME, NEUTERED & READY TO GO HOME <3 A volunteer writes: Eager to get out and show the world just what it's been missing, Brownie Pie is a bright-eyed young cutie with all the energy and chutzpah you'd expect to be hiding behind that mischievous smile and he's looking for a sidekick who can keep up the pace! His previous family didn't have the time to give him the attention he craves but he enjoyed 3 walks a day and I had to laugh when reading the comment that he pulls lightly on leash but off leash he's 'hard to catch'. Sure sounds like the Brownie Pie I know! We're told Brownie liked to follow his people around and play fetch with balls or squeaky toys and that he already knows commands for come, sit, down, stay, paw and even 'go to bed.' Playgroup is a bit intimidating at first but once he's spent a few minutes with new doggie friends Brownie loosens up and joins in the fun and we're told he's even cool with cats, meeting them with tolerance and respect. Around two-legged company he's all about the zoomies, running the yard from end to end and jumping up to shove my side after he's done so a home with no small kids would definitely be the best fit for this baby kangaroo. Friendly, affectionate, playful and pushy, Brownie Pie is ready to roll right out the door and into your arms, ask to meet him today! BROWNIE PIE@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Brownie Pie My animal id is #25472 I am a desexed male brown dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 1 years 6 months, 55 lbs Came into shelter as owner surrender Apr. 17, 2018 Reason Stated: NO TIME Brownie Pie is at risk for behavior reasons. Brownie Pie is fearful, and coupled with a high level of nervous energy, this risks translating into fear aggression, and we have seen his in-kennel behavior deteriorating recently. We recommend that Brownie Pie would be best suited to an adult only home. Medically, we have no concerns for Brownie Pie, who presents as a healthy dog. My medical notes are... Weight: 55.2 lbs Vet Notes Post Surgery Note 17/4/2018 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 1.5 years Microchip noted on Intake? POS Microchip Number (If Applicable):911002001478905 History: owner surrender Subjective:BAR Observed Behavior -friendly and energetic initially but tensed with more restraint and then started growling during tech check Evidence of Cruelty seen -n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam:muzzled for exam as precaution; mm appear pk/moist, adult dentitia with no significant tartar/staining PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: male intact, 2 scrotal testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal:grossly normal Assessment 1. Healthy young adult Prognosis:good Plan: -no further treatment SURGERY: Okay for surgery 21/04/2018 S:O - incision site looks healthy. No signs of inflammation or discharge A- healing appropriately P - benign neglect Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 3. Yellow Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake Brownie Pie allowed all handling. He had a very loose body and wagging tail. He had a healthy appetite for office treats, allowed being collared and allowed being placed inside of a kennel. Date of Intake: 4/17/2018 Spay/Neuter Status: Unknown Basic Information:: Bronie Pie is a roughly 1 year old dog whom was gotten from a friend and kept in the same home for about a year. Unfortunately due to no time he was unable to be kept. Previously lived with:: 2 adults How is this dog around strangers?: Around strangers he is described as friendly and plays exuberantly How is this dog around children?: Around children he is described as playful and plays somewhat rough. How is this dog around other dogs?: Around other dogs he is described as playful and plays somewhat rough How is this dog around cats?: Around cats he is described as tolerant Resource guarding:: He has no known resource guarding issues. Bite history:: He has no known bite histories Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: High energy level Other Notes:: Brownie is described as hard to control, barks a lot and is afraid of being restrained and being given a bath. He isn't bothered with having his food or toys touched, being disturbed while asleep, being brushed or having his nails trimmed. He will bark when unfamiliar people approach his home or owner but quickly becomes relaxed and enjoys their company. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No For a New Family to Know: Brownie is described as friendly, affectionate, playful, pushy and excitable. He will follow you around, enjoys playing fetch with balls or squeak toys and was being fed Costco Brand dry dog food 2-3 times a day. He is well behaved when he is left alone, does well inside of a crate, knows the commands sit, come, down, stay, paw and go to bed. He was being walked 3 times a day, pulls lightly on leash and off leash he is hard to catch. Date of intake:: 4/17/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner Surrender (In home for 1 year) Previously lived with:: Adults Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly and exuberantly playful Behavior toward children:: Playful, somewhat rough at play Behavior toward dogs:: Playful, somewhat rough at play Behavior toward cats:: Tolerant Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Brownie Pie is described as friendly, affectionate, playful, pushy, and excitable a high level of activity. Date of assessment:: 4/19/2018 Look:: 2. Dog's eyes are averted, body posture is stiff and fearful, tail is low and not moving. Dog allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity:: 3. Dog stands tall and square, tail perpendicular to spine, mouth closed for the majority of the assessment item. Tag:: 2. Dog is not fearful, but is unresponsive when touched. Approaches the Assessor when the game ends (may need coaxing to approach). Dog is focused on stimuli other than the Assessor. Paw squeeze 1:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Paw squeeze 2:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Flank squeeze 1:: Item not conducted Flank squeeze 2:: Item not conducted Toy:: 1. Minimal interest in toy, dog may smell or lick, then turns away. Summary:: Brownie Pie appeared very alert in the assessment room, having a tense body and focusing on the exit and sounds he heard outside the room. He approached the assessor and remained tense, with his tail up and hackles raised. He allowed all handling. Summary:: Based on observation made by the previous owner and while in our care, Brownie Pie may benefit from slow introductions to respectful dogs. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Brownie Pie time to acclimate into a new environment. Summary (1):: 4/18: When introduced off leash to the female greeter dog, Brownie Pie appears fearful. He stiffens when solicited with play. Summary (2):: 4/19: Brownie Pie begins to open up and engage in play. He initially appears a bit tense, opens up more once comfortable. Date of intake:: 4/17/2018 Summary:: Brownie Pie had a loose body and allowed handling. Date of initial:: 4/17/2018 Summary:: Brownie Pie was social and active but tensed with restraint and growled. ENERGY LEVEL:: Brownie Pie's previous owner described him as having a high level or activity. He is a young, enthusiastic dog who will need daily mental and physical activity to keep him engaged and exercised. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 4/24 Update Brownie Pie remains aloof in the care center during interactions with his behavior appearing to deteriorate in kennel (hard barking at times upon approach, lunging/barking when dogs pass by). We cannot be certain if any other behavior is suppressed due to the stress of the shelter environment though recommend exercising appropriate management to best set Brownie Pie up for success. A period of decompression in highly advised before introduction to new and unfamiliar situations. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: ADULT ONLY HOME Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13) Recommendations comments:: No children (under 13): Due to the tense body language during SAFER and aloof behavior Brownie Pie has displayed in the care center, we are recommending an adult only home to allow for a period of decompression before exposure to new and unfamiliar situations. Force-free, reward based training only is advised. Potential challenges: : Fearful/potential for defensive aggression,Kennel presence Potential challenges comments:: Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Brownie Pie appeared on high alert during his assessment, having a high tail and raised hackles. During his medical work up, he growled. Due to these behaviors combined with the aloof behavior he displays during one-one interactions, we recommend going slow with Brownie Pie to assess that he is comfortable with all social interactions. He should always be given the opportunity to walk away from interactions if he chooses to. Kennel Presence: While we cannot be certain if this behavior will appear in any other contexts, in highly emotionally charged or stressful environments Brownie Pie may show behavior similar to what he is currently demonstrating in his kennel. We recommend potential adopters be comfortable managing this behavior and keeping themselves safe in any similar future situations. * TO FOSTER OR ADOPT * If you would like to adopt a dog on our “To Be Killed” list, and you CAN get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process *within 48 hours of reserve*, you can reserve the dog online until noon on the day they are scheduled to die. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs. It should read, "reserve in progress". That is YOUR reserve. Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction Animal Care Centers of NYC (ACC) nycacc.org At-Risk Animals Thank you for your interest in adopting from Animal Care Centers of NYC. Our At Risk List is posted each day (except Saturday) at 6:00PM and remains viewable until 12:00PM noon the following day. newhope.shelterbuddy.com HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email [email protected] Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 Available Animals Thank you for your interest in adopting from Animal Care Centers of NYC. Our At Risk List is posted each day (except Saturday) at 6:00PM and remains viewable until 12:00PM noon the following day. newhope.shelterbuddy.com

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bloojayoolie · 6 years ago

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Being Alone, Apparently, and Cats: lina Scared & Unsure, ittle Luna needs a 2nd chance in experienced & loving hands Adorable, petite, housetrained & out of time@Brooklyn ACC SPAYED & Ready 2 B Loved Happy Valentines Day **** TO BE KILLED - 1/18/2019 **** "MY TIME IS UP. PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE HERE." :'( Meet Luna, a tiny little girl surrendered to the Brooklyn shelter by her owner. To love and be loved. It's what we all want in life and Luna is no exception. However. we all know that we don't always get what we want. We can't change our parents - human or canine. We can only hope they will guide us by establishing rules and boundaries, all the while giving love and never give up on us. Sadly, that is not the case for Luna. She might not have been perfect in her old home but for two years she was loyal and her heart was in the right place. Her hopes and dreams for a happily ever after are about to come to a crashing halt unless someone will love her, for real this time. Luna is just a little thing in need of a second chance with an experienced and loving owner. Please help us share her for a good home before it's too late. LUNA@BROOKLYN ACC Hello, my name is Luna My animal id is #52519 I am a desexed female black dog at the Brooklyn Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 2 years old, 35 lbs Came into shelter as owner surrender Jan. 12, 2019 Reason Stated: Behavior Luna is rescue only Luna is at risk for behavioral concerns. Due to the high levels of fear Luna has displayed in the care center with unfamiliar caretakers combined with her behavioral challenges and bite history, we feel that she would be best placed with a New Hope partner. There are no medical concerns for her at this time. My medical notes are... Weight: 35.5625 lbs Vet Notes 13/01/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2 years according to o Microchip noted on Intake? positive 985112009817806 History : o/s Subjective: BARH Observed Behavior - very tense, shaking, nervous, whale eyes, tail tucked, ears back. Muzzled for exam. Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective P = wnl R = eupneic BCS 4/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal discharge noted PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: tense but non painful, no masses palpated U/G: FS (spay tattoo noted on ventrum), no MGTs, no vulvar d/c MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment:Apparently healthy Plan: Continue to monitor while at BACC Start trazodone 50mg PO BID x7d until 1/20, reassess Prognosis: Excellent SURGERY: spayed Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 3. Yellow Behavior History Behavior Assessment Behavior during intake: Luna had a tense body, tail tucked during intake. When counselor came into the room, Luna growled at first but then her body relaxed when the counselor gave her a treat. Counselor was able to take a picture without any issues and had help from the owner to help put a collar on due to Luna growling. Date of Intake: 1/12/2019 Basic Information:: Luna is a 2 year old spayed female that has no previous or current medical issues that the owner is aware of. Owner had Luna for 1 year but had to surrender due to Luna's behavior Previously lived with:: 1 Adult How is this dog around strangers?: When a stranger comes over to the home, Luna will hard bark, growl and has even lunged at the person before. Owner would usually put Luna into a different room and then bring her out after 1 year and she would be tolerant of the person in the home. How is this dog around children?: Owner did not have any children in the home but when taking Luna for a walk outside and there were children around, she would hard bark and growl at the children passing by. How is this dog around other dogs?: Owner did not have any other dogs in the home but would take Luna to doggy daycare. At first, she was always friendly and playful but recently over the last few months, whenever a new dog would come to the daycare, she would hard bark and growl at them. How is this dog around cats?: Luna has not been around any cats so behavior is unknown Resource guarding:: Luna is not bothered if the owner would take away her food, treats or toys Bite history:: Luna has a bite history. She bit on 12/28/18 leaving 4 puncture wounds Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Very High Other Notes:: Luna is not bothered if the owner would hold her/restrain her, being pushed off furniture or if the owner would disturb her while she was sleeping. Luna is afraid of being bathed, having her nails trimmed or having her coat brushed and would run away. When someone would approach the home or the owner, Luna will bark, growl and snap. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: Luna does not have any known medical concerns For a New Family to Know: Luna is described as friendly, affectionate with the owner, playful, excitable and fearful of new people. She has a very high activity level and liked to play with squeaky toys and chew toys. In the home, Luna liked to follow the owner around from room to room. She was kept mostly indoors and is house trained. She was fed dry food only brand Only Natural Pet Food. When left alone in the home, Luna was well behaved. She knows the cues sit and come. Luna is crate trained and would spend 5 hours a day in a crate without any issues. For exercise, Luna was taken on brisk walks on the leash. When on leash, she tends to pull lightly. Owner was able to walk Luna off leash and stated that she wander at first but comes right back when her name is called. Date of intake:: 1/12/2019 Spay/Neuter status:: Yes Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender Previously lived with:: 1 adult Behavior toward strangers:: Hard barks, lunges, growls Behavior toward children:: Hard barks, growls Behavior toward dogs:: Was friendly, playful though began hard barking and growling Behavior toward cats:: Unknown Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: Yes, Luna growled and lunged at finder's partner resulting in her biting his hand though no skin was broken. When he moved her away by the collar she bit him on the thigh resulting in four puncture wounds. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Friendly, affectionate towards owner though fearful of strangers Date of assessment:: 1/13/2019 Summary:: Due to the high levels of fear Luna has displayed in the care center with unfamiliar caretakers combined with her behavioral challenges and bite history, she is not an appropriate candidate on whom to conduct an assessment on. Summary:: Luna's previous owner reported that she used to be playful with other dogs but a few months ago began to bark and growl at new dogs that came to her daycare. 1/13: When off leash at the Care Center, Luna initially greets the novel male dog with a tucked, lowered body. She enters the yard and moves past him. His leash is held given he is a somewhat high energy puppy to give her the choice to approach. As her session continues, she relaxes some, begins to whine, offers a few play bows and bounces. Once she begins to engage in chase play she becomes conflicted, spinning around and grumbling in the other dogs face, then walking away. 1/17: Luna was introduced to novel female today. She was more loose and wiggly and social with the female. She would explore the pens and alternate between checking in with the other female and seeking handler attention. Date of intake:: 1/12/2019 Summary:: Tense, tail tucked, growled at counselor; relaxed when treat was given. Date of initial:: 1/13/2019 Summary:: Tense, shaking, whale-eyed, tail tucked IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: Handlers brought Luna out to the play yard for playgroup. She greeted the novel female dog with a loose and wiggly body. Luna spent the majority of her session in playgroup alternating between checking in with the female dog and soliciting attention from multiple handlers in the pen. Luna would jump up and place her paws on the handlers' chest and would lick their chin/faces. She would also lean her body into their legs as they pet her body. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children (under 13): Luna's previous owner reports that she hard barks and growls, because of this behavior combined with her propensity to escalate when startled, we believe she may be best set up to succeed in an experienced adult only home environment. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to all the behavioral challenges reported in her Luna's previous home environment, combined with the severity of her bite incident, the behavior department believes Luna may be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner. We highly advise exercising safe and appropriate management of Luna as she is considered to be a bite risk due to known history and some observed behavior in shelter. Force-free, free reward based training only is recommended when introducing or exposing Luna to new and unfamiliar situations; we also recommend a period of decompression in order to allow Luna to acclimate to a new home environment at her own pace. Potential challenges: : Handling/touch sensitivity,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression,Bite history (human) LUNA IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HER LIFE.

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twittermemesofficial · 7 years ago

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Cats, Children, and Complex: DRAK0200 24250-3 years old Good looking, friendy, tail waggy, very playfu, affectionate, loves walks andbaths knows some basic commands – Soft& social during behavior eval &earned all s A+ Manhattan ACC Waiting for Love TO BE KILLED – 4/14/2018 HANDSOME FACE PAIRED WITH A SPECIAL HEART! Drake is known to “lick people hello” at the shelter. This classic, handsome youngster came to the shelter wagging his tail, greeting everyone and leaving everyone puzzled at why he was discarded. Some people are not wiling, or ready to be responsible pet owners and will offer up an excuse; for Drake this is unjust and tragic. The shelter reports him to be full of life, seeking to play, solicit affection and shine. He is entering his prime, and aside from catching the shelter cold, he is in optimum health and condition. His face is perfectly proportioned with big brown eyes, and a mega watt smile. It’s impossible not to notice this young man. Fostering is free, short term with transport available. Drake’s time is officially up at the shelter. The odds are stacked tightly against him, especially with this being the start of the weekend. Please message this page if you can foster or adopt this deserving, young, handsome family pet. DRAKE@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Drake My animal id is #24250 I am a male tan dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 3 years old, Came into shelter as stray Apr. 1, 2018 Drake is rescue only Drake is at risk due to behavior and medical concerns. Drake has a New Hope Only determination and should go to an adult only home where he can be given an appropriate amount of time to decompress in new situations. He also has been diagnosed with Canine Infectious Respiratory Disease Complex and will likely need in home care with a course of antibiotics. My medical notes are… Vet Notes 1/04/2018 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 3 Microchip noted on Intake? n Microchip Number (If Applicable): n History : DOH Bite – bite owners after being reprimanded for peeing in the house Subjective: BAR Observed Behavior – excited and playful, allowed for examination, suspicious of people, very tens on exam Evidence of Cruelty seen – n Evidence of Trauma seen -n Objective T = – P = 108 R = wnl BCS = 4/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: teeth in good cond PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: two descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate – no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal Assessment: Healthy Prognosis: Excellent Plan: Neuter SURGERY: Okay for surgery 8/04/2018 SO BAR in kennel; eating well. EENT — no ocular discharge. mucoid nasal discharge present; snuffling during observation. A CIRDC P doxycycline 100mg tablets — give 3 tablets PO q24h x 14 days. cerenia 60mg tablet – give 1/2 tablet PO q24h x4days. Details on my behavior are… Behavior Condition: 1. Green Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake, Drake was wagging his tail but would sometimes hard stare. When outside of the crate, Drake had a loose and wiggly body. Drake attempted to lick handler's face and was very affectionate. Drake allowed all handling. Basic Information:: Drake is a 3 year old unaltered large breed dog that the owner got from her sister six months ago. The owner is surrendering due to Drake biting her husband and daughter. The owner has never taken Drake to the veterinarian. Previously lived with:: 2 adults and 1 teenager How is this dog around strangers?: Drake is described as very friendly and playful with strangers. How is this dog around children?: Drake has only lived with a 17 year old girl and he was always playful with her. How is this dog around other dogs?: Drake has never been around other dogs. How is this dog around cats?: Drake has never been around cats. Resource guarding:: Drake is not bothered when his food bowl is touched while he eats or if a treat or toy is taken from him. Bite history:: Drake bit the owner's husband and daughter for the first time four days ago but he has never bitten or scratched another animal or person prior to this incident. Housetrained:: Partially Energy level/descriptors:: high Other Notes:: Drake hides when he hears loud noises. Drake is not bothered when he is taken off furniture, restrained, disturbed while he sleeps, or when he is brushed. Drake loves being bathed. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No For a New Family to Know: Drake is described as very playful. The owner's favorite thing about Drake is that he loves to be affectionate. Drake's favorite thing to do is go outside and go on walks. When the owner is home, Drake follows her around. Drake likes to play with balls and squeaky toys. Drake is kept mostly indoors and when taken outside, he uses the dirt. Drake sleeps on a special rug he has. Drake is free fed Purina dry food, wet food causes diarrhea. Drake knows how to sit, stop, and get off on command. On a leash, Drake pulls very hard. Date of intake:: 4/1/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner Surrender (In home for 6 months) Previously lived with:: Adults and a teenager (age 17) Behavior toward strangers:: Friendly and playful Resource guarding:: None reported Bite history:: Yes, Drake bit his owner when the owner attempted to push him back into the crate after Drake had peed in the house. He hit Drake on the hind quarter and Drake bit him, holding on. The owner's daughter attempted to pull Drake off her father's arm and Drake bit her leg. Both bites broke skin and required medical treatment. Housetrained:: Partially Energy level/descriptors:: Drake is described as very playful with a high level of activity. Date of assessment:: 4/8/2018 Look:: 1. Dog's eyes are averted, with tail wagging and ears back. Allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity:: 1. Dog leans into the Assessor, eyes soft or squinty, soft and loose body, open mouth. Tag:: 1. Dog assumes play position and joins the game. Or dog indicates play with huffing, soft 'popping' of the body, etc. Dog might jump on Assessor once play begins. Paw squeeze 1:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Paw squeeze 2:: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Flank squeeze 1:: Item not conducted Flank squeeze 2:: Item not conducted Toy:: 1. Minimal interest in toy, dog may smell or lick, then turns away. Summary:: Drake quickly approached the assessor in the assessment room with a soft body and jumped up in a social manner. He remained social throughout the assessment, allowed all handling, and displayed no concerning behaviors. Date of intake:: 4/1/2018 Summary:: Drake had a loose, wiggly body and allowed handling. Date of initial:: 4/1/2018 Summary:: Drake was active, tense, and allowed handling. ENERGY LEVEL:: Drake's previous owner described him as having a high level of activity. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct his energy and enthusiasm. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: NEW HOPE ONLY Behavior Asilomar: TM – Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to Drake's bite history, we recommend an adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to Drake's bite history, the behavior department recommends Drake be placed with a New Hope placement partner who is able to provide an experienced adult-only foster home. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Drake to acclimate comfortably to his new environment; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing Drake to new and unfamiliar situations. Consultation with a professional trainer/behaviorist is highly recommended for guidance to safely manage/modify any behavior Drake presents with outside of the care centers. Potential challenges: : House soiling,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression,Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression Potential challenges comments:: House soiling: Drake is noted to have accidents in the house, and will likely need guidance with house training. We recommend positive reinforcement, reward-based training only. Accidents should never be punished as this will likely make the problem worse. Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Drake has bitten when being forced into a crate. It is important to never forcibly push Drake or give him harsh corrections. Positive reinforcement, force-free training only should be used with Drake. Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression: Drake bit two people in his previous home in a highly charged incident where one of the people was forcing him into a crate. At the care center, he has displayed social behavior, but we do not know what else may trigger him. Guidance from a professional trainer/behaviorist is recommended to assess behavior after decompression in a new home environment. Force-free, reward based training is advised when introducing or exposing Drake to new and unfamiliar situations. DRAKE IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE. 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