#id get a taxi but i dont even want to think about how much a 40 minute taxi journey is in london

[jentlemahae]

-

[romeowsblog]

The reason i cried that day and why it didn't stop .

I was on my way to pick up my brother, since my dad was busy so i offered, my mom wanted to visit her mother so i told her i will drive you there after i pick him up - two good things. I was doing good things, or at least i wanted to.

The next thing, an accident! A tractor hits the side of my car. Im shocked of course, i call my dad, im embarrassed, i try to hide it, im angry, i do nothing about it. - the car will take a week to fix , im told. Im frustrated. We get home, i decide to clean the stairs to do anything jist to get my mind off things. Im thankful for my dads support and sure things will be okay. I text my dad to ask what happened. My brother gets home with my car, he tells me they fixed it temporarily with a screw until they get the parts needed. Im frustrated even more because ibhave woork and i have to drive to uni and i dont know what im gonna do now and this is really not the right time, why me.

My dad calls me to explain the situation, he tells me they wont fix it until monday, and that i can drive to work with it in this state. I argue that it could be dangerous and that its okay, i can take a taxi until it's fixed. I fet yelled at for supposedly yelling and not speaking properly, i shut up after an "okay, you do what you think is good" because arguments and opinions are not allowed in this house.

I try to distract myself with a tv show and it works, until my dad gets home, he starts by yelling at me again and saying how he didn't like the way i spoke to him, i try to explain how i dont think driving to work would be the smartest idea and that it should be fixed asap even if it means me taking a taxi- i get yelled again because "do you see how you are yelling? Are you seeing yourself right now."

I shut up because i already feel dumb and hideous and every terrible feeling since this week has been hell already before all this shit and i have already been in so much mental and physical pain that i told no one about. My tears betray me. My parents stare at me as if im stupid. I shout "yes im crying "

"Why are you crying?"

" because i feel. Stupid, i have no idea what is going on and youre just yelling am i not allowed to cry"

"No, crying makes you weak, be strong. Why do you cry every time someone disagrees with you" (false i cry when he screams at me and i feel too weak to reply)

"I think i havent cried in front of any strangers, im allowed to cry at home, where else would i cry if not at home."

"Stop crying "

"Okay " i try and fail

My parents start talking about plans for tomorrow's lunch, im desperately craving a hug, soft words , qny type of comfort although i already know it wont come. Im the one who always comforts never the one being comforted. No matter the situation.

Dad turns to leave , i yell after him " at least dont go while youre angry at me"

"Im not angry, why would i be angry" he shouts again.

"Im just really frustrated and i know the accident is not my fault and i know i dont understand cars but id really like to understand "

Id also really like a hug but i think id pass out if i actually said these word out loud.

Dad leaves, mom acts as of nothing happened. I go to my room and cry , nobody checks on me, nobody asks, its ok. Im used to this but it still hurts. The next day my family acts as if nothing happened and at first its difficult but then i try to do the same. The third day im in pain, physical pain that is unrelated, so i refuse to go somewhere with me and i get yelled at because "we didnt always have cars, every time something happens to your car you treat us like its our fault" and "look at yourself in the mirror"

And im just so tired. Would it be too much to ask for someone who genuinely cares about me and will hug me when im sad without judging? I face so many tiring things daily things i really want to vent and speak about with someone but then i realise there is no one who would listen to me and genuinely care and will not end it with a lecture or cut to their own story and jist ignore me. I want to talk about my life but theres really no one to talk about t with.

[what-else-is-new-420]

im gay, i know that. i dont like men. ive had enough experience - one might say too much - to know as much. and yet, due to some sort of weird conditioning or trauma and in part loneliness, i keep fucking them.

tonight was especially awful and i knew it would be that way even going in. he was an ok conversationalist (after id had a beer) but the vibes were still a little off. he was a bad kisser but sang his own praises immediately after (to which i awkwardly smiled, unable to agree with him). it went that way a little bit, behind the orthodox church: his tongue, horribly thin and firm, his moustache hair rubbing against my skin.

he paid for the hotel room and two taxi rides: to and fro. i felt dirty. we got into it.

seven minutes later, we're flicking cigarette ash into a small trash can he found in the bathroom and briefly ran under the sink so as to not burn the plastic bag inside. hes asking about my life, im looking at the smoke plumes rise up to meet the white ceiling. he's six years older, so he thinks im a kid, he tells me. i think thats an odd thing to say to someone you just fucked. besides, im 21 now. i clearly know everything.

i exhale, get up and put my underwear and bra on again, and he doesn't budge: he's sitting fully naked in a chair. i keep my eyes above a certain level, his chest littered with moles, and I wonder how people feel comfortable enough in their own skin so as to do that. sitting back down, i slouch and wrap my arms around my stomach.

and then he wants to go again. perhaps i cant complain - i repeatedly get myself in these situations in order to feel bad about it after. but dear god, maybe id experience this less if i knew how to say no to them. maybe id be happier if i didnt care what they think of my body, of what im like in bed.

walking home tonight i thought about you for the first time in a while and realised it was never like that. im sick of this.

(i miss you, i love you)

[thevoid-isthe-onlyone-ican-trust]

Sorry i have to vent.

Tw: very risky Situation where someone could have gotten SA'd

Why do i always do this to myself. Why do i try to protect ppl that bring me in Bad Situations.

Like no i dont want to go to that 33yo guy that danced with us at the Club who is really Touchy just because you wanna fuck him, yes even tho He keeps talking about how much He hates it when woman get assulted and He has sisters and a daughter.

Yes you are my friend but we are 20... that guy is 33. He was 23 when we where 10.

Do you really think its a good fucking idea to go to his Place?? Alone?

Are you Sure you really want to go? I already offerd multiple Times that we can go to my Place. Its a bit further away but safer.

You still wanna go?

Okay yeah i guess.

Cool we are in a Taxi with him now this feels so fucking safe, nothing Bad could Happen to us.

We are at his Apartment. Messy as you would expect from a guy Living alone.

Time goes on and oh wow He is doing Coke now??? Great.

Yeah Sure i dont mind being in a fight, flight or freeze Mode for two and a half hours straight, you go have fun in the other room without a door where i hear you having Sex but i cant close my ears because what if you say no and He doesnt Listen?

Ill have to fight him. How? Idk id try at least.

Im never putting myself in that Situation again just because you are so fucking naive.

I will probably stay in my room the next few days with exeption of going to the gym.

That guy honestly was so fucking disgusting from the way He talked about woman and shit i dont know what you saw in him.

[wizardyke]

i think one thing that will always piss me off is people declining someone else's kindness or act of sercice or whatever because "they'll feel bad". like one time i could offer my friend a lift home, and they were like nooooooo dooont ill feel badddd. so do you want me to leave you in the middle of town at midnight? or im talking to my friend rn, and theyre saying that even though theyre a broke college student and their friend offered to pay for soemthing for them, no strinsg attached, they declined bc they felt bad. idk maybe its cause im azeri where we fight over on whos gonna pay. like.

realistically with my friend and lifts; they had no koney for a taxi and there were no buses running at that hour and its moronic to walk. of course they were gonna get a lift with me. but now you've made the outreach of my kindness some sort of transgression against you so much so that you feel bad. it makes it uncomfortable for everyone involved now. or my friend who's going hungry for the sake of not bithering their friends, now youre making your friends helpless bystanders and you hungry and miserable for like... ur pride?

and i HATTTEEEEE how non resolute it is. like when i dont want to eat where my friends want to i fet ny food from someplace else. or when my friend pays for something ill go out of my way to pay for something for them. or whej someone just generally does something nice for me, i thank them and show as much appreciation for that action & them as a friend! why on EARTH when someone doing something nice for you want to hear how fucking bad you feel about it???????? thats the opposite of why they want to do it for you. and its not even an alternative, its just a sitting down pity party. maybe id get it if it was some alternative solution ("ill cover the bill" "no we can split it evenly") but its just. self pity and flagellation ("ill cover the bill" "noOOoOOoo ill feel baddddddddd") youre not a monk youre not the pope and if you REALLY feel THAT bad then go to your fucking place kf worship where you can indulge in your bizarre martyr? complex in peace and stop ruining the fucking vibe

tldr: accept peoples kindness and help without making a big stink out of jt cause then ut makes the situation at hand a fucking downer & makes people not wanna help you in the future jf you need to be dragged by thr collar to make the right decision

[burnedbyshoto]

Under the Mistletoe

pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader

warning: smut, cursing, fluff

word count: 8,467

a/n: I didn’t want to edit this last night so lmao... sorry!!!!! anyways, this is super cute and yall should like.....read it :D

Synopsis: The mistletoe tradition is known by all, and if used correctly it can end in a sweet moment. Too bad Todoroki Shouto believes that people fuck under the mistletoe and not kiss under it.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

“So you’re telling me that when two people meet under a mistletoe they have to...” Shouto trails off as he looks at the green plant nestled in between his fingers. “They have to—”

“They have to fuck, yes,” Kaminari nods his head. 

His arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes closed as he nods. His words, of course, are a flat out lie, but to Todoroki Shouto it seems as if his friend is speaking the truth. “It’s why it was never put up during our Christmas celebrations at school! With some of you guys not turning eighteen until after Christmas and all. That could have turned out to be child porn or something!”

“I haven’t had sex though,” Shouto huffs as he throws the mistletoe towards the blond who yells as it hits his head. “I don’t think I want to be caught underneath it. Didn’t Mineta wear a hat with it attached to it last week though?”

“Yeah, but that’s the only way Mineta can get girls, plus didn’t you see how the girls avoided him like the plague?” Sero pipes in, a large grin on his face as he takes the mistletoe and throws it above Kaminari’s head.

Shouto, however, sees this as a substantial poof.

“Bro, are you telling me you wanna fuck?” Kaminari winks as he looks up at the mistletoe.

“No, I just don’t think you’ll ever get to smash without this either!” Sero laughs as Kaminari slaps the mistletoe from Sero’s grasp.

“Would you fucking bastards GET OFF YOUR ASSES and come fucking help out?!” Bakugou roars as he enters the living room where the three men were sitting around.

Shouto stands up first, his eyes looking at the mistletoe that lays innocently on the floor. White people were pretty weird for starting that tradition.

Of course, it wasn’t to say that Shouto didn’t want to meet anyone under the mistletoe! Had it been a tradition where he would get to kiss someone it would be different, but fucking? Having sex only because you were caught under a plant was a bit too much.

“Todoroki-kun, are you okay?” Midoriya asked as he walked while hold two tables to put up for the dinner. The boys of the since graduated class 1-A were in charge of hosting the first annual Christmas party. Of course on because Iida volunteered them all.

Shouto nodded his head as he smiled strained, “I’m going to be avoiding the mistletoe all night.”

Midoriya looked at the fallen plant as he quirked an eyebrow, “Really? I thought it could be a great idea to get— mmph?!”

Shouto’s eyes widened as he saw Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima covering the One for All user’s mouth. They began dragging him away, their mouths at his ear as they whispered at him.

“Todoroki-kun, Kirishima-kun!” Iida yelled as he brisked over with red cloth in his hands, “I need your help in spreading snow out in front of the house! It hasn’t snowed enough yet!”

“Iida, what do you think about mistletoe?” Shouto asks as Kirishima jogs over to them.

“It’s a weird tradition,” Iida admits as he rubs the back of his neck. “But there’s too much to do, and the girls will be here within an hour!”

“Don’t worry bro,” Kirishima laughs as he slings an arm around Shouto’s shoulder. “Just avoid the mistletoe! Unless... you want us to send y/l/n-chan your way!”

Shouto couldn’t hide the flush the built on his cheeks at those words. The joyous laughter of Kirishima’s teasing didn’t help either.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Shouto stared at himself in the mirror.

Iida had insisted on formal wear tonight. He believed their first Christmas celebration outside of U.A. was a cause to ditch the Santa gear. It was definitely weird celebrating Christmas with his friends and not wearing the Santa suits.

But Shouto chose a dark navy blue suit, a white button-up, and a slim black tie. His fingers buttoned one of the buttons on his jacket before putting in silver cuff links. He was ready.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Shouto placed his clothes into the designated room. It seemed, however, that he was the last one ready as everyone else was sitting at the grand table. It had been beautifully prepared by Sato and Tokoyami. The aroma of the cooking food filled the air causing Shouto to sigh, he was quite hungry.

“Bakugou, where’s the mistletoe?” Shouto asked his ash-blond friend who was walking around with his hands shoved into his pockets. Shouto watched as Bakugou groaned as he whipped around towards him.

“What makes you think I would fucking know, hah?” Bakugou grunts as he rolls his eyes. “It’s hidden for a goddamn reason, you’re not supposed to know!”

“Would you help me look for it?” Shouto asks as he rubs the back of his neck.

“HAH?! Why the hell would I look for it with YOU, half and half bastard?! Are you trying to—?” Bakugou’s mouth was then taped shut. Shouto watched on in confusion as the ash blond’s attention was stolen by Sero; who was now running away in his white tux from the storming blond.

“Why aren’t they just being bizarre!” Aoyama dramatized from Shouto’s left. Glancing over, Shouto chuckled at his friend dressed in a literal suit of armor that was blinding to the eye. “Now, are you confessing your feelings to Mademoiselle y/n? Christmas is the most romantic time to do so!”

Before Shouto could speak to the smirking blond, Iida bursts into the dining area with coats in his arms.

“The ladies have arrived!” He announced.

Shouto watched as six girls entered the room talking amongst themselves.

They all wore Christmas appropriate formal dresses, and yet his heart fell as he was quick to see that you weren’t there.

Where were you?

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

“I know I’m very late!” You exclaim into your phone as you struggle to shove the dark red evening dress over your body.

You weren’t supposed to have stayed as late at work as you did.

Missing the bullet train back to your apartment, you had completely missed the preparation for the party. Lucky for you, your neighbor had a useful quirk that let him do makeup and hair in ten minutes. So after offering him your soul (a promised meeting from his favorite Pro Hero Froppy), he agreed to do it.

The formal wear, however, was a bit too much in your opinion.

One month ago Iida had sent out appropriate outfits to gather ideas of what to wear for today. To put it simply he wanted a full-blown ball gown for a party for twenty-one of you.

So there you sat in your room, pulling the dark red dress into place. It had a semi sweetheart neckline, the bodice was made of soft velvet, and the skirt was multiple layers of red lace. Overall it was cute and simple. Slipping on your white heels you grabbed your coat and presents for your friends. Placing your phone to your ear you raced out to where the taxi was waiting for you.

“Iida won’t let anyone eat until you’re here! And I’m positive Bakugou is going to kill Midoriya out of a hangry fit if you don’t get here quick!” Mina once again tells you as you give the taxi driver the address.

“It’s not my fault villains decided to be villains where I work! Had it been my decision I would’ve been there with you guys! Plus it’s starting to snow,” you sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Tell Iida you guys can start eating, I’m not offended!”

“Girl, I told him that one hour ago, and again right before I called. Trust me, we’re not touching the food until you’re here!”

“Wow, you didn’t even want to wait for me?” You tease as you watch as the taxi drives into familiar areas.

“You know I’m teasing, besides loverboy here won’t let anyone eat until you get here too~!” Mina giggles in her sing-song tone.

“Don’t call Shouto that!” You groan as you try to calm your flaring cheeks. “We’re friends!”

“Friends who have the sexual tension that brings god to her knees! And the romantic chemistry that makes the cutest couple tremble in jealousy!” Mina exclaims. “Don’t worry, we saved you the seat right between him and me!”

“Mina!”

“Oh, gotta go! Bakugou AND your precious Shouto~ are demanding an update, see ya soon cutie!”

“Mina—”

The line went dead as you puffed out your cheeks.

Sometimes Mina was too slippery for her own good.

The rest of the taxi drive was quiet. Your taxi driver most likely wanting to get you out as soon as possible to go home themselves. Your eyes focused down at your cellphone that was getting text messages demanding your location.

Most of which was spam from Kaminari and Uraraka who seemed to be the most starving. Sighing, you shared your location with the class’s group chat for the next twenty-four hours. So they could track you for the next few minutes it would take for you to get there.

kaminari: i dont think ive ever been this excited to see y/n in my life… ever… and im 98% sure i had a crush on her 0.0

you: omg i told you guys you could EAT stop HARASSING ME

sero: tru lets blame iida

iida: You all would have been very upset had we eaten without you! Besides, this is our family so we have to wait, it’s only polite. - Iida Tenya

mina: …

you: …

midoriya: …

kirishima: i thought someone ingrained it into iida that he doesnt have to text… like that…

momo: I believe it is okay, Iida-san! It is confusing to know who’s texting on this chat! Sincerly, Yaoyorozu Momo

bakugou: hurry the FUCK UP Y/N

you: id rather die

“We’re here,” the driver sighs as they turn around. “That’ll be 2,000 yen.”

You smile in gratefulness as you pull out two 2,000 yen. “It’s a tip for working on a holiday, thank you!”

“Happy holidays.”

“To you as well!”

You stepped out of the car and closed the door behind you. Your eyes fluttering as you watch the snow fall in front of you. A shiver runs through your spine as you pull your coat tighter around yourself. Holding the presents closer to you, you walk down to the front door. You take notice of the heaps of snow in front of the lawn and grin. Although you had no evidence, you bet Iida made Shouto and Kirishima create snow unknowing that it was going to snow this much.

Opening the grand door, warmth and the waft of cooking food invaded your senses. Removing your coat, you heard chairs scraping against the floor as a small mob of people raced to greet you.

“Merry Christmas!”

“Season greetings!”

“I’m so fucking hungry, thank Santa you’re here!”

“Move bitches I get the first hug!”

“Let me grab her coat first!”

It had been a while since you had last seen everyone. But in this moshpit of who you would consider being among your best friends, it warmed your heart. “Thank you, Iida,” you smile as he nodded in response.

“You followed the guidelines quite well, you look great!” Iida compliments as he turns to put your coat away.

“Of course she looks great, we all went out together to a dress shop!” Jirou sighs as she pulls you into a hug.

You greeted everyone, hugging them all as you went until you finally found the one person you wanted to see. His hair styled slicked back and his hands rested in his pockets as he smiled at you. Your face felt like it was heating up as you stepped closer to him.

“Merry Christmas, Shouto,” you smile as the dual-colored man smiles at you. You pull him into a hug.

“Merry Christmas, y/n,” he mumbles into your hair. “I’ll take those from you?” Shouto offers as he grabs the bag with the presents.

“Thank you,” you say letting go of the bag.

Shouto nodded as he turns on his heel to put the presents away.

“TIME TO EAT!” Kirishima and Kaminari roar as everyone starts making their way back to the dining table.

“Just to let you know, there is a mistletoe somewhere here, in case you want to make a move,” Mina whispers in your ear.

Oh, this dinner seemed like it was going to get increasingly harder to stay composed.

xxx

“It’s present opening time!” Iida exclaims as he ushers the class into the living room where the tree and presents resided. “Please have a seat, Yaomomo and I have organized the different piles for everyone! Until you have been seated will you receive your pile!”

You were talking with Tsuyu as you entered the living room. Your eyes shining as you took in a beautifully decorated living room.

“You boys did an amazing job at decorating!” You exclaim as you grin, the night had been going perfectly so far.

Dinner had been lively and hilarious. Old banter and topics bleed into the night’s conversation made your heart ache for the old days. It seemed so long ago when you spent every day for three years with these guys. You missed it.

With Mina at your left who discussed her new fighting style. Shouto at your right who talked about his life at home. His family had finally was becoming something he loved completely. While you two had late night discussions talking about it no one else knew about it. It was invigorating to see Shouto grin and laugh in conversations. His old dense self was still ingrained in him yet he’s grown so much since his fifteenth year. You were proud of him.

You watched as Tsuyu took a seat on the couch, her eyes trained on you as she spoke. You moved to sit next to her until something shoved you to the side.

“Oh, that’s my seat!” Mina exclaimed as she sat next to Tsuyu, her smile large as your eyebrow rose. “There’s more, don’t worry!”

You turned around and saw a seat near Midoriya who was near Tsuyu. It seemed you could continue your conversation about her position as a Hero Commander. Midoriya would like that conversation as well.

“That’s my spot!” Uraraka shouts as you were about to sit down. You sighed as you stood back up, your eyes raking the couches for a place to sit.

“There’s a spot by Todoroki-kun,” Midoriya said pointing at Shouto. Shouto was sitting on a seat that was a bit too large for one person, but too small for two.

“Thanks,” you smile as you walk over to Shouto. “You mind if I squeeze in next to you?”

Shouto looks at you, his eyes intense as he shakes his head, “No, go ahead and sit.”

You sat at his left with a grin. Your body pressing into his left arm as he concentrated on Iida, and with a nudge, you captured his attention. “I hope you like the gift I bought for you,” you whisper as Iida begins handing out the piles of gifts to each person. Ojiro helping as they were big.

“I don’t think I could hate anything you could give me,” Shouto whispers back as he grabs his pile from Iida.

“Random panties I find on patrol?”

“I’d be honored you thought of me.”

“That’s so gross, Shouto,” you laugh as you take your own pile from Ojiro.

“You’re the one touching random panties from the streets of Japan!” Shouto retorts as he helps you settle your pile onto the floor.

“Touche, Shouto,” you grin as you shove him with your shoulder, “touche.”

“Because it is Uraraka-kun’s birthday coming up, she should go first!” Iida suggests and everyone agrees.

“Oh, I need to tell you something,” Shouto whispers as you cheer on Uraraka who is lifting a gift over her head.

“What is it?” You ask turning your head towards him.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he whispers before focusing back in onto Uraraka. She lifts out multiple bags of strawberry mochi with a triumphant scream.

“You look handsome tonight, too.”

It doesn’t take long before presents are being opened and you’re feeling content pressed into Shouto’s side.

From Aoyama, you got a crystal mirror that sparkled in the light. The poem about the North Star engraved into the back of the mirror.

From Mina, you got workout clothes specific to a dance class you and the girls were planning on attending together. They were in your favorite color and came with a jacket with your name stitched into it.

From Tsuyu, you got a plushie. It was of your favorite animal and held lots of tiny little snacks that you could carry during a patrol.

From Iida, he presented you with a pair of exercise shoes you had been needing for a while. After all, sparring with Bakugou and Midoriya left your old ones disintegrated.

From Uraraka, she bought you a charm bracelet that had two charms on it already. One of the U.A. building and another of a small group of girls.

Ojiro gave you got a new winter coat. It was white, waterproof and insulated. Your jaw on the ground as you tried it on because it made you look like a marshmallow and you adored that.

Kaminari gave you got his mixtape. On the cassette were a bunch of Kaminari originals he had been promising you for years now, and now you had a copy. That and a gift card to your favorite restaurant.

Kirishima gave you a new ankle and wrist weights. Something to help with your manly journey to becoming the best hero!

Koda bashfully announced that you were getting an all-inclusive trip to an animal and tea shop. Something he gifted everyone in the class, and an event you girls were quick to plan.

Sato gave you a free pass to let him bake you anything you wanted. Another gift given to all the girls, and another gift you girls were excited to use.

Shoji had gifted you a massage gun. Something you had enveloped him in a hug for minutes afterward because it was something you had been meaning to buy.

Jirou’s gift was in a white envelope, two VIP tickets to your favorite band. A very discounted item because her parents knew them and the fact that she was a Pro Hero too.

Sero’s gift was something that made you laugh, it was a high-quality blanket. Soft to the touch, with the ability to keep you warm in a blizzard! It had a class picture printed on it photoshopped with Kaminari’s wheey face onto everyone’s picture.

Tokoyami gave you a picture album with the class’s best memories. It also had many more blank pages for your own pictures.

Hagakure bought you a new set of makeup and brushes. Brushes that you had been eyeing the time you two had gone shopping together too!

Bakugou bought you a new outfit. It was definitely an outfit for warmer weather, and he got annoyed when you went to hug him.

Midoriya made you a present. It was two notebooks full of analysis and suggestions that you had asked for when sparring. You wanted to continue improving and Midoriya was definitely going to help you.

Mineta bought you a gift card to use at a local lingerie store. On the one hand, it had a lot of money on it, on the other hand, you wanted to destroy it.

Momo blushed as she stood up, her grin wide as she looked at everyone. She apologized about being able to properly buy everyone an honest gift as she had been busy these past few months. Nut she promised she made up for it. She had paid off everyone’s apartment/house rent or price. Or in Iida’s and Shouto’s case their groceries for four months.

“This is for you,” Shouto whispered as he handed you a thin rectangular box. “I didn’t want it getting smashed so, I held onto it. I didn’t forget to give you a gift.”

Your eyes focused on the gift that was wrapped in red and silver wrapping paper. Your fingers gently taking it from him as you nodded. Shouto had been giving everyone else gifts with things that reminded him of them. It had some of the most hilarious items to date. But the box told you nothing, no hint, no clue. The attention of the group was on Aoyama who was modeling the new outfits that were gifted to him.

His eyes bore into you as you opened the gift, your eyes widening as you opened the box. “Shouto…” you trailed off as you looked down at the simple yet gorgeous necklace that lay in the box. It had a single diamond on it, yet you knew that it was more expensive than anything you’ve ever bought in your life. “W-What?”

Shouto remained silent as he gently pulled the necklace from the box, he asked you wordlessly to turn around so that he could place it on you. You complied as you shifted in the seat.

“I promise I looked everywhere else for you before choosing this!” Shouto admits as his warm fingers push your hair to the side. The cold chain presses into your skin as you look down at the jewel. “But no matter what I looked at, this was the only thing I liked for you. So, no, I don’t regret or worry about buying you this because I know it was meant to be yours.” His breath teased your exposed skin and it took everything within you not to melt as he fixed your hair.

Not knowing how to thank him, you pulled him into a tight hug, your arms holding him near as he returned the hug. Your lips pressed gently against his cheek, “Thank you, Shouto.”

You pull away and look back to your friends who were still focused on Aoyama who did a spin. Your fingers grazed the shiny jewel, and you lay your head against his shoulder as you consume the fashion show laid out for you.

Xxx

“You’re confessing to him, right?!” Mina hisses as the girls called an impromptu meeting seconds before you were "about to kiss Shouto" on the couch.

“Mina-san, she was about to kiss Todoroki-san right before you ripped her from his grasp!” Momo sighed as gave you an apologetic smile.

“Y/n has liked him since high school! Her first kiss with Todoroki-kun is not going to be while Bakugou is modeling his clothes!” Hagakure defended Mina as she crossed her arms.

“First off, I was not going to kiss him,” you defend yourself as you point a sweeping finger at your friends. “I was going in to get lint in his hair!”

“There wasn’t lint in his hair,” Tsuyu chimed in to which everyone agreed.

“Leave her alone!" Jirou waves her hands, to which you thank her. "She was going to take the lint out with her teeth! To show him what that mouth do!”

Jirou snorts as you shove her.

“Do you see that rock on her neck?! You know she’s not gonna show him only what that mouth do, but also what her—!” Uraraka snickers as she was interrupted by the kitchen door opening.

“Y/n?” Shouto asks, his eyes wide as he sees that you’re flustered and pointing your fingers at them all. “Um… I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Right now?” You squeak as you smooth over your dress. “Of course right now, um, yes let’s go!” You declare, glaring at your friends as you walk towards Shouto. Grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the kitchen the door closing behind you.

“They put up the mistletoe outside right?” Momo whispers as she looks at Jirou who gives a thumbs up.

“Yes, Kaminari said they convinced Todoroki to talk with y/n outside.”

“Does… does Todoroki-kun even know what to do under the mistletoe?” Uraraka asks as she realizes her sheltered friend was still learning new things to this day.

“The boys must’ve explained it to him,” Hagakure insists as she nods. “You can’t fuck up explaining that you kiss someone under the mistletoe. Besides, they want them to get together too!”

Xxx

“Fuck, it’s cold,” you shiver as you wrap your jacket around you.

“Sorry,” Shouto apologizes as he grabs your hands in his. Heat immediately spreads through your skin. He was warming you up, the cold winter air is ignorable, as you and Shouto walk towards the edge of the porch. “There wasn’t any room in there that was private enough, and I needed to talk to you about something important.”

“Oof, don’t tell me you meant to give this necklace to some other girl named y/n,” you tease as you rest your back against the snow-covered railings. “If so, I’m going to need to fight both you and her for it.”

“No, no,” Shouto chuckles as his thumb rubs smooth circles into your skin. “But it is about the necklace.”

You nod your head as you squeeze his hand reassuringly, “What about it?”

“It’s not… too forward is it?” Shouto asks as he takes his right hand to brush your hair from your face. “If you think it’s too much I can take you to return it for something else you’d like.”

The worry and concern that are heavily etched into his face make you laugh softly as you shake your head. “Even though I can’t give you something as great in return, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”

“What do you mean? I liked your gift.”

“Shouto, it was a two paid in full all you can eat meals at that soba joint you love, of course, you were going to like it!” You tease as you think back to the hole in the wall you had introduced Shouto to a few months ago.

“Yes, I have to starve for a week to make the most of your gift,” he teases and you snort as you shove him. Your eyes roll as you focus your attention back onto him.

Wait, what was that?

Your eyes flew back up to the ceiling as you saw the powdered with snow mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Your jaw dropped as your heart rate spiked. The hands that were in Shouto’s felt sweaty as you ripped your hands from his.

“What’s wrong?” Shouto asks as he follows your gaze up to the ceiling.

“Mistletoe,” you breathe as your eyes widen. This screamed like a setup to you, but how could the girls know the two of you would have made your way out here?!

“Oh.” Shouto’s voice nearly squeaked.

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Shouto whispers, his cheeks glowing in embarrassment or from the cold, you had no idea at this point. “If you’re okay with it, um... I’ve never done this before.”

You lick your lips in anticipation and the feeling that Shouto wants to kiss you back. Your heart hammers in your ears as you smile. “It’s okay, I have,” you laugh gently.

“... you have?”

“Yeah!”

“O-oh…”

“It’s okay, it’s something I try not to remember,” you input as you shake your hands. His disappointed, flustered, and jealous aura screaming at you as you cup his cheeks. “You’re the one I wanted to meet under the mistletoe anyways.”

His hands slip through your jacket, holding your waist in his grasp as he lets out a shaky breath. Shouto’s eyes rise to lock on yours finally, and you nod at him.

“Wait you want to do this outside?” Shouto whispers as you near him.

“You’re supposed to do it under the mistletoe,” you mumble as your lips connect with his. Your lips end all arguments that he has as Shouto stills.

The kiss was slow, your eyes closed as you gently coaxed his stiff lips to move with yours. Shouto moved with you smoothly, the kiss gently growing in passion as he pulled you in closer. The kiss burns you as your lips languidly move against each other. Your hands moving from his cheeks to tangling into his gelled hair.

It was perfect, and you found yourself pulling away, ready to confess your feelings for him. But Shouto didn’t seem to be on the same page as his lips pressed against your throat. The feeling of his heated and soft lips against your colder skin made you suck in a sharp breath of air. Your head tilting backward as he peppered clumsy yet attentive kisses against your skin.

“S-Shouto,” you moaned as your fingers grabbed onto the collar of his jacket. This wasn’t what you were expecting from him. Nor was it something you believed to come from a visit under the mistletoe. Your peaked breaths soon calmed, they smoothed into soft and shaky moans as his teeth teased your sensitive skin.

Shudders flew through your body as his tongue caressed your skin. your mind was sinking into a sinking pit that is until he trailed his tongue to the cleavage of your breasts.

“Shouto!” You squeak as you shove his jaw up, his eyes locking on yours confused and drowning with lust.

“What’s wrong, love?” Shouto asks as a strand of hair falls into his eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Is this how you meet everyone under the mistletoe?” You pant as your mind is racing too many thoughts a second, you can’t keep up as there is a heat building in you. A heat that begged you to get over your shyness and just let him kiss you in such a lewd way. But this wasn’t Shouto, it couldn’t be.

“I’ve never been under a mistletoe before,” Shouto mumbles as his lips press together. In this brief hesitation, it seems that he remembers something. “Who have you… met under the mistletoe…”

Your face warms as you sigh, it wasn’t a memory you much enjoyed.

“It was Bakugou, but only because the damn store owners were so insistent on it!”

This confession made Shouto still. His eyes turning a near black with emotions you hadn’t seen on his face in quite a while.

“Shouto? Are you okay--mmph?!”

His lips were back over yours immediately. His bruised lips fervently danced against yours as he held his right hand to the back of your neck and the other firmly onto the small of your back. His kiss was demanding, sultry, and overwhelming.

Your questions of his emotions out of your mind as your ass hit the porch railing. The cold snow burning through your dress made you cry out, and Shouto’s tongue presses into your mouth. Your back arches as his left-hand leaves your body. It slams against the railing and the snow melts, and the tongue in your mouth warms you as you shudder in his hold.

Not wanting to be manipulated like this, you ignore how your body feels like it’s melting in his hold. Your mouth suckles onto his tongue. Your hands fist into his hair, making him moan into your mouth as you tug on it sharply.

You can feel the falling snow hitting your cheeks, but your body temperature has spiked so high that it melts before it can make complete contact.

Ripping your mouth from his, your lips trail down his neck, nipping and sucking hickies onto his pale skin. The harsh pants that escaped his mouth and the shaking of his form further incited you as your painted lips met the collar of his shirt.

“Should we go back to my place?” You ask as you pull away, your hands fisting around his tie as you look into his lust-fueled eyes.

“I thought you said we had to do it under the mistletoe?” Shouto questions, his upper lip in almost a sneer as he uses your hands to loosen his tie. Your eyes widened as he stripped off his jacket. He placed it onto the railing that was turning the snow into steam whenever it made contact. “Did you take Bakugou home after finding yourself under the mistletoe with him?”

The words were a near snarl, his eyes angry, his face jealous.

Some part of you wanted to utilize this. You wanted to use this surplus of emotion Shouto was emitting to get him to fuck you against this railing. Another part of you, a louder part of you, demanded to know what was wrong.

“Why would I bring Bakugou home?” You ask as you take Shouto’s flushed cheeks in your hands. “It’s mistletoe, not a porno.”

Shouto blinks once, twice, thrice.

“W-What?”

“Mistletoe, not porno,” you repeat confused. “Shouto, you’re supposed to kiss under the mistletoe.”

It’s then that Shouto’s body freezes. His eyes widening as he stares at you.

His face flushed, lips were swollen from kissing, and hair messy.

“You’re… you’re not supposed to fuck?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he shakes his head.

The small sentence causes your heart to beat wildly as you stare at him, your hands moving from his cheeks to your mouth. “NO!” You squeak as Shouto takes a step back from you, his head dropping.

Coldness envelopes you as Shouto nods his head, “I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, y/n. I… I should go.”

You watch as Shouto turns on his heel, his back stiff as he walks towards the door.

Everything in you screams at you to make him stop, pleading that you pull him back and say you’ll still fuck him. The kissing itself had ignited a fire within you. And there was nothing else you wanted but Shouto to subside the need and desire that had built within you.

“I like you,” you reel as you find yourself taking several steps forward as Shouto’s hand touches the door handle. “I have feelings for you, and when I found out that I could kiss you tonight I took the chance! I know you might be feeling a whole bunch of different emotions that I can’t list. But I want to let you know that I wasn’t letting you do that because of the mistletoe, Shouto! I genuinely really like you and I was going to let you fuck me against the porch railing I was that ready.”

Shouto is frozen at the door, his back tense as his hand drops. You watch in what feels like slow motion as he turns around, his eyes locking on yours. It clicks, his confession is silent as he walks back towards you.

The world has gone silent as Shouto cuts the distance between the two of you before you could react. His mouth pressing against yours as you’re sent walking backward. Your hands grasping his biceps as you’re pressed against a familiar railing.

“I like you,” Shouto gasps against your lips. “Fuck, y/n, I like you so much.”

You don’t answer him as you instead sink your teeth into his lower lip, a groan leaving his mouth as you pull away. His eyes flash dangerously, something new stirring within him as your lips come crashing together again. In a tangle of lips and tongue, his hands leave your waist and grab your ass through the fabric of the dress. The cold is ignorable and the jacket around you is making you sweat as you moan into the kiss.

The melodious sound escaping your mouth stirs Shouto on and his leg slips between your thighs as you arch into him. His leg presses indescribably into your crotch, so you do what you must and grind your hips against his leg.

The grip on your ass tightens as Shouto begins to guide your hips into wide circles against his leg. The grinding pleasures you. The slowly building pressure overwhelming you as you whine against his mouth. His name escapes your mouth like a prayer, soft and hopeful as your mouth suckles against his tongue.

“It’s too hot,” you whimper as you pull away, Shouto trying to follow you with his mouth as you tilt your head. His wandering lips press against your neck and you sigh as you shift to take off the jacket.

“You’re going to get sick,” Shouto warns. His hands leave your rotating ass as he tries to slip the coat back over your shoulders.

Taking his hands and instead press them onto your breasts. As his eyes shifted to your breasts, you dropped your coat to the floor and you stare at him with a growing smirk. “Then you better fuck the cold away.”

His eyes take you in and he slowly nods, his hands groping your breasts as he growls in response, “Don’t think I won’t.”

“Big words for a virgin,” you moan as warmth spreads throughout your body.

“Those are fighting words for someone who’s at my mercy,” Shouto snaps as he pinches your side.

A pained moan escapes your lips as Shouto’s teeth sink back onto your neck. His tongue then lashing out to smooth the wound that was left in its place. He continues to mark your neck as your gasping praises and grinding hips gives him the confidence to continue. His touch is intoxicating and you find yourself whining for more, begging that he do more. Finally, with a deep chuckle, Shouto pulls away from your neck, his lips red and raw.

His eyes trace your body as his hand’s trail from your breasts back onto your ass. Your eyes widen as he picks you up as if you weigh nothing, his hands massaging your flesh as he places you onto the rail. A low sigh escapes your lips at the feeling of the warm wood underneath you.

Your chest heaves with your quickening breathing as you see that this position gives Shouto the perfect entrance to fuck you out here.

There wasn’t much you could do outside. With snow blanketing the world, your friends indoor, and both you and Shouto craving the other there was only so much you could do. Fully expecting Shouto to start unbuckling his pants, your eyes shot open as he lifted the skirt of your dress. His heated fingers trailing up your cool flesh.

Trembling you watched as his fingers reached your panties. His finger stroking your folds as your hands held tightly onto his shoulder. Your pussy aches for more. Your panties soaked from the thigh riding and the being so overwhelmed with emotions for Shouto.

You can do nothing as you feel your panties being peeled from your skin. The soft fabric trailing down your legs and you watch as Shouto looks at them before pocketing them. A smirk overcomes his facial features as you watch him. He takes your wrists in his right hand and moves them behind your back. Your eyes widen as a familiar sound hits your ears.

“I might be a virgin, but I’m not a prude,” he whispers into your ear as cold ice encloses your wrists. “You have only a few minutes to get yourself to cum against my fingers, or else… well, I don’t want to find out.”

Unintentionally, you whimper in both pleasure and pain as the coldness seeps through your skin and your pussy throbs at the threat. Should you heed his command or make him recant. As you contemplate that, you rub your legs together. The slickness of your essence much more noticeable without the fabric in place, and you moan.

Shouto smirks as he looks at your moving legs, and he takes his left hand to trace your inner thigh, teasingly, barely touching your skin. Your eyes flutter as they brush against your slit right before he plunges two fingers into your wet heat. Cursing his name, your walls tremble against him as you press your forehead onto his shoulder. His fingers are warm, but your heat is even warmer.

“Is something wrong?” He feigns innocence as his fingers curl against your wall. They circle within your cunt as you whimper lewdly.

“N-No!” You stammer. The freezing sensation of the ice is almost ignorable with his fingers beginning to push within you. He nods as he begins to move his fingers slowly. Your body squirms in his hold as he increases his speed. Soon his fingers pump within you at unimaginable speeds, your head throwing backward at the pleasure. Your hips find themselves bucking against his fingers as you mewl.

The ice begins to burn as his thumb brushes against your clit.

Your eyes clench close as you surge forward. Your lips pressing against his as you attempt to stop your loud moans. Shouto swallows your moans as he continues to pound his fingers in you. A third one soon entering as his thumb flicks against your clit.

So close, you’re so fucking close.

You can feel the pressure building in you, the coil tightening as you cry out his name, pleading for him to make you cum. Shouto muses at your desperation but does not relieve you of your desires as his fingers leave your cunt. You cry at the expulsion, your pussy craving for him to reenter your needy cunt.

Instead, your wrists are set free from their icy cage. Your skin feels like its burning as Shouto places his fingers into his mouth. He's licking your essence off his skin and you whine at the visual.

“I decided that I want you to come around my cock instead,” Shouto chuckles as you glare at him.

“You’re a dick,” you whine as you watch as Shouto loosens his tie after removing his jacket.

“You’re the greedy one who wanted to fuck right here,” Shouto hums as he unbuckles his belt. You stare at him feeling your pussy throb at the impending sex.

Your eyes fall onto his cock as his pants bunch at his knees, and your mouth dries at the sight of him. Eight inches and thick, his hand fists against his length, low grunts escaping his mouth as he steps near to you.

“Are you okay with this?” Shouto asks as the head of his cock brushes against your wet folds.

You nod your head as you shudder at the sensations that run through your veins, “Yes, are you?”

He nods too as he grunts softly. He begins to grind his cock against your folds. The increased pressure than what he was doing before makes you moan as he coats himself with your juices. Your hands hold onto his biceps as he continues to move his cock between your folds. teasing your clit instead of penetrating you and you whine in protest. The stimulation of your clit appreciated but you wanted him to fill you up.

“Will you just fuck me already?!” You rasp as you pathetically circle your hips against his length.

Shouto chuckles as he locks eyes with you, “Maybe.”

Your mouth opens to argue, but you’re cut off by him pushing himself into your needy pussy without warning. His length barely fits entirely within you, and his girth causes your head to spin as he stretches you out. “FUCK!” You hiss as your head presses into his collarbone.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Shouto shudders as your walls spasm against him, overloading him with sensations as he tries to calm himself. “Y-You’re so fucking tight.”

“Move, Shouto,” you beg eagerly needing more friction from him. “Please fucking move.”

With a grunt of confirmation, Shouto rolls his hips. You curse as his hips move outward before bottoming back into you. Your hips move in time with his, and intermingled moans resonate within your now joined mouths. His thrusting picks up speed the more comfortable he gets. His moving hips slamming against yours as you cry into his mouth. His hand grips your waist as he pulls you from the railing, one of your legs hooked around his waist as the other shakily stands. He slides his other hand down your back so that he can cup the bottom your ass. It’s a stretch and it adds to his vigorous thrusts into your cunt.

The feel of Shouto’s pelvis slapping against yours is your remedy — you’re craving him even more and he is well aware of that fact.

You’re swelling with euphoria and lust when he decides to amp up your pleasure by bringing his right hand to your clit. His fingers circle against your clit with his ice-cold touch, it shocks you as your heated body jerks under the new temperature. With the added temperature play, it feels as if your body is breaking under his will. Your pussy clenching at sensations he’s giving you. Your hips rolling against his pounding hips, and he moans in return to how your walls clench against him.

Your head lolls to the side as you’re overwhelmed by the blazing heat in your core. The pressure of your cunt heavily evident throughout your entire body. You needed to keep it together, you wanted to keep going. The head of his cock finally comes to press against your sweet spot as he shifts your hips and you shriek.

“Fuck! Please, right there!” You beg as Shouto shakily nods, his hips coming to snap into that same spot over and over. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you’re no longer able to speak. You’re completely overpowered by his snapping hips.

“Will you come for me,” he groans out, his voice a pleading hope.

Your head nods frantically as you're unable to trust your voice. The action satisfies Shouto as he hisses lowly. Faster and harder, his fingers switch from pressing small circles to large figure-eights on your clit, while his hips slamming faster into you. You can’t handle the pleasure any more, and you feel your high coming.

“Shouto,” you gasp as he presses a kiss against your mouth again. His hands moving to lift you up, you can only cry in pleasure as he slams your back against a pole. His hips continuing to snap into you at insane speeds. You’re not able to keep up as sparks ignite in your veins as he slams into you over and over.

Your orgasm hits your body and it’s as if you’re falling away into ecstasy. Your mind spinning and dazed from the continuous world-altering sensations. You cry out his name as he still continues at his unmerciful pace. That is until he suddenly pulls out and drops you onto your shaking legs.

Whining at the loss of his cock, and the fact that you’re now on your feet, you open your shut eyes and stare at him unable to speak.

“Turn around,” he growls. You can’t believe he wants you to go for his own orgasm with you in a whole new position. Was he really a virgin you question as he fists his cock as you reposition yourself onto the railing. Your chest presses weirdly onto the wood as your knees buckle, and you look over your shoulder to see Shouto raising the skirt of your dress.

Shouto doesn’t ask to insert himself in you again. Your fingers grip the railing as he slams back in and you let out a sharp cry as you seize forward.

He starts up a brutal pace with his hips slapping against your ass with each and every thrust. Your hands move to your mouth as you cry as you rock forward with every thrust. His hips remain steady as his pace accelerates. You watch on a dazed high as snow falls onto your moving hair. Your fingers shoved into your mouth like a gag as he grips your hips. You use all of your willpower to push your hips back against his to meet him thrust by thrust.

Slowly, he starts to vocalize more and more. His lips moaning your name and crying out. He keeps one gripping hand on your hips while the other slips to your clit. Your mind snaps as he begins rubbing meticulous shapes onto your puffy nerves.

You can tell he’s close.

He’s chanting your name against your spine like some mindless prayer to you. His hot breath fanning onto your exposed skin. The hand on your hip grips you tighter, definitely bruising your skin. So you grip the railing with one hand and the other remains in your mouth.

“Are you ready?” Shouto growls while nipping at your skin. “Ready to take my cum?”

“Yes! Please, Shouto!” You choke out from your fingers, the pleasure and overstimulation reaching their tipping point once again.

“Then fucking come.”

Your toes curl as you let out a sob of pleasure. Your arm is unable to support yourself anymore as you let your torso slam against the railing. The circles on your clit finally stop and your abused cunt clenches around Shouto’s cock. Your body reaches its second orgasm of the night, and Shouto arrives with you.

He cries out a “Fuck!” and your name as his speed spills within you. It’s the loudest he’s been all night, which makes you whine at the sound of your name being said so vulgarly from his mouth. As your cries become breathless pants, you press your hands against the railings. The saliva on your fingers turning cold as the two of you stand still for what feels like some time. You feel him slide both of his hands on top of yours to intertwine with yours as cum spurts out of his cock, filling you up.

He rubs circles on top of your hands with his thumbs as he slides himself out. The feeling of him gone makes the both of you whimper at the loss of each other’s fill. You feel some of his cum seep out, and you shudder at the emptiness your cunt now feels.

You slowly stretch back up, your body hurting and now quickly turning cold with the lack of his heat.

Shouto is two steps ahead of you as he grabs your tossed coat from the floor and wraps you tightly within its fabric. “There,” he smiles as he pulls up his own pants, his face still flushed for different reasons.

You giggle as you shake your head, “Did I really get dicked down because of mistletoe?”

A snort escapes Shouto’s lips as he nods, “You did.”

“Well, I do like you, Shouto,” you whisper as he finishes dressing. “It’s not just because of the mistletoe.”

“I know,” Shouto whispers as he takes your cheeks in his hands. “And now this is me asking you on a date and if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”

Joy fills your heart as you laugh softly. “I’d love to be,” you say as your lips meet his in a gentle kiss right under the mistletoe.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

taglist (message to be added):

@flayvus @antigenius @mariahschoices @cherry-pie-shay @the-secret-thief @vampire-dumbass @monst

[dreamcatcherjiah]

Hey lovely i realised you were taking requests still...i have a bit of a dramatic one so i dont mind if you dont wanna do it so i have anxiety and depression and when i am feeling really down i sometimes dont answer my phone there was a situation where i was overseas for work and bc of being far away from my bf i got rly depressed and didnt answer my phone and he panicked and nearly flew out to me would you mind recreating that situation with yoongi (seeing he deals with mental illness too)?

Hello love!! Thank you for requesting 💖 For this drabble I’ve drawn from personal experience of how I felt a while ago, so if this is not what you had in mind I'm sorry love. If you feel the need to talk to anyone, please reach out to me, I can be a listening ear or just be there 🥺💖

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word count: 1.7k

TRIGGER WARNING: DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY

When your boss told you about the business trip to Germany you were so excited you immediately texted Yoongi. This was a huge opportunity for you, enough to shake you out of the new slump you had found yourself in. The trip in and on itself was a piece of cake. You would fly out to Germany a Sunday to be there by Monday, manage a couple of new transactions and write a report for the CEO and fly back by Friday. Simple. Yoongi was ecstatic, so happy about this new opportunity that he couldn’t stop bragging about his wonderful girlfriend who had been promoted and would be travelling the world in no time.

This bragging was endearing and so you had been telling yourself since you told him the news; the problem was that you couldn’t help the tingling at the back of your head telling you that spending time away from him wasn’t what you wanted. You already spent a huge amount of time away from each other when he was on tour, but now you were the one flying away from him, alone, to a foreign country. You didn’t even want to start thinking about how much you would miss him, even less the whole week you would be sleeping alone in a strange hotel room. 

Busy with packing and organising documents you just set your phone in the kitchen table and went about your apartment picking things here and there, double and triple-checking if you had everything you would need. Your laptop and phone were inside your little carry on bag and so was your phone charger. The one you couldn’t find was the laptop’s. You put everything upside down looking for it, looking even under the bed, only to find it rolled and tucked in a corner of your suitcase. The sunglasses were in your bag, so was your lip gloss and your purse, all your credit cards and your ID, your passport. You were double-checking everything again when you heard the code being punched in the keypad. Waiting just a little longer, you heard the pit-pat of Yoongi’s feet against the floor getting closer and closer to your room. 

“I should have known you were packing,” he said, hugging you and leaving a soft kiss to your cheek, “you weren’t answering your phone.”

Giving him a guilty look you apologised for worrying him and kept on packing while he showered. That night you were laying awake waiting for the alarm to ring while Yoongi snored away on the other side of the bed. You would miss him so much, his soft snores and the little pout he made when he slept deeply. Noticing the numbness enveloping your head again, you turned your whole body and buried your head in Yoongi’s chest. He was the best buffer against your darkest moments. 

Before going to the airport and against Yoongi’s moaning — “you have checked this already a hundred times, love.” — you checked everything again, turning off the electrical appliances and closing all the taps. You were really bad at saying goodbye and your boyfriend did know that. With a sweet kiss and several whispered I love you’s you took the taxi to the airport and silenced the tiny voice in your head that was trying to list every single thing that could go wrong. 

Conference after conference you noticed how your brain got slower. You were alone all the time while you managed to do your job by keeping yourself busy and not thinking much. You arrived at your hotel so late at night that the only thing you had the strength to do was showering and dropping on the bed to try and get some sleep. 

You were missing Yoongi so much it physically hurt but you didn’t want to call him. He was three times as busy as you were, even forgetting to eat or sleep if he got too hooked in producing a song. Calling him and telling him you were feeling numb again and that you wanted to hold him and never let go would only worry him. When he called there were two possible scenarios; you either felt guilty for not picking up and worrying him further, or you felt a sudden rush of tears filling your eyes seeing how you longed for him to be there with you. The slower the days passed, the stronger the urge to bury yourself amongst the blankets in the hotel bed and sleep grew. By Wednesday it took you nearly half an hour to convince yourself to pull your body out of the bed. Yoongi had given up calling and started flooding your phone with texts since he woke up until he finally fell asleep quite later than recommended. You were making him worry and that made you feel worse. 

You found yourself getting distracted from the most insignificant task with memories from the first days of your relationship, how shy Yoongi was and how he wouldn’t call you after a day afraid that he was being pushy. The day he had opened up to you about how he felt and you both cried when you found out you had more things in common than met the eye.  On Thursday your boss called you out for being absentminded in the middle of a meeting, he had caught you daydreaming about what Yoongi would be doing back home. You wouldn’t know even if he was already awake because you had switched off your phone, overwhelmed by guilt, nostalgia and the numbness on your head that didn’t let any rational thought go through. Missing him, the crushing sadness and the tight knot in your throat were making it difficult to breathe and function properly. When you got to your hotel room that night, slipping off your shoes and checking your work email on your phone, a notification pops up and you frown, opening your personal email.

Min Yoongi

To: yn-yln@xmail.com

Subject: I am desperate.

My love, you have stopped answering my calls, you ignore my texts and you’re alone in a foreign country. I know what loneliness can do to you and I only want you to be safe. If I don’t receive an answer to this email or any of the thousand texts I’ve sent you I am flying to Germany to make sure you’re alright. I just want to know you are safe, if not okay. 

I love you with my whole heart. 

Yoongi.

Tears had started flowing halfway through the message, making you feel so guilty that you closed the email and were calling Yoongi, not caring about anything that wasn’t hearing his voice at the other side of the line. The tones of the call were low reminders: you have time to hang up, he will be worried, you will only worry him more. But you pushed on, ignoring your anxiety’s voice and waited with bated breath until you heard Yoongi answer the call. 

“Y/N, are you feeling okay? Where are you right now? Have you showered?”

You silenced his endless questions with a quiet sob and sat on the edge of the bed. Oh, how you’d missed his voice! And you told him while sobbing, how hard it had been, how lonely and sad you had felt and how anxious of disturbing him that you had gone back to not picking up the phone and wanting to sleep all day long. He sounded agitated and out of breath but you were so focused on not letting your anxiety drive you into a panic that you didn’t notice. 

“Do something for me, sweetheart,” he was saying, now slower and calmer after finally being able to contact you, “get out of your work clothes and take a hot shower. I won’t hang up and be here with you okay? Can you do this for me?”

Your heart swelled at how he was still taking care of you from so far away. He knew exactly what to do when your thoughts numbed. He would always make you take a shower, drink some water if you couldn’t stomach any food and lay with you while his breathing brought you back. He was not pushy, he didn’t make you talk or explain why you were feeling the way you felt. He was just there, a strong dependable presence that kept you sane. 

Listening to him hum to you about his day and things the rest of his friends had done, you went into the bathroom and undressed slowly. You sat a short bit on the toilet lid and just listened to his voice until you almost smiled at some funny thing Jungkook told him to tell you. In a better mood, you entered the shower and let the spray run down your head, the hot water untangling the many knots on your back and shoulders. You imagined that the heat from the shower was a hug from Yoongi, a warm embrace that you could feel through the distance and you loved him even more than you thought possible. Hearing him still talking while worked away at his keyboard made you smile and you switched off the water, getting out and covering your body with a huge white fluffy towel. 

“You’re finished, my love?” He asked and your heart swelled again.

“Yes. And I’m feeling much better, Yoongi. You’re the best.”

“Well, your day with me isn’t over, missy. Now, I have a ton of new songs separated into genres that I want you to listen to while you lay on the bed and we talk until you fall asleep, okay? Tomorrow, before you know it, you will be back here with me and I’ll be able to hug you to sleep. Is this good enough for now?” He whispered into your ear, as if unsure if you wanted that, but as always he knew perfectly what you needed.

Wearing your pyjamas and under the blankets of the huge bed, Yoongi played songs, melodies, beats, anything he was preparing for release or working on. You two chatted away about where would you go once you could go on vacation together and you fell asleep with a smile on your lips hearing the man you loved telling you he loved you back and finally feeling comfortable and safe again.

[botseeksbot]

top 5 rgg scenes but you can do 10 if you want (:

um this is hard .

10. Mine's suicide LMAO die faggot

9. literally every scene w Kashiwagi or Daigo or Yayoi in k2. How lady dojima looks when she talks abt Daigo at the beginning. Kashiwagi rushing in when Daigo is at Serena's and lighting his cigarette. When Daigo steps up to be chairman. THEY ARE A FAMILY .

8. Akiyama "honey im home" HI BISEXUAL

7. Saejima coliseum fight in 4 :((

6. Kiryu's talk w Date in the car about Nishiki in k1 wahhhh

5. Haruka and Kiryu comforting each other after Haruka gets shot in k1 :((( Kiryu apologizing to her wahhh

4. Kiryu talked to Awano at the club after the Kuze fight. "Id rather die than join you" then he just walks out ???? made me insane my first playthrough

3. Kiryu's talk w Makoto at the hotel + his talk w Tachibana in Little Asia before the reunion. im so crazy and sad wahhhh i love how he talks to both of them :( "i can only get you as far as the starting line" I LOVE YOUUUU

2. Saki's mom scene always makes me cry and it will always make me cry. even just thinking about it and writing this im crying. how can she say that about her own child. it makes me so upset and Saki just stands there stone faced the whole time. and Rikiya + Nakahara are so good to her and I love them a lot. when she actually smiles at her dad. Saki's drawing of like "thank you for helping me" she loves her daddy so much ;__; and he loves her and when he hugs her and just says "thank you" to her wahhh

1. you could ask me top 10 rgg5 scenes instead of rgg in general and id have a list so rgg5 gets its own place as no.1

top rgg5 scenes in no particular order

had to add more bc i kept remembering more

15. T-Set being nice to Haruka especially when they join Dream Line :) i love T-Set

14. THE OPENING HOW COULD I FORGET THIS. Daigo talking about wanting to do his best + mirroring lines he says when he gets shot GRRRRRRR "im trying my best to walk my own path" MOTHERFUCKER I LOVE YOU

13. Saejima helping Baba up after the fight . Grr grr im insane probably bc i just rewatched it but grrr ily Saejima

12. Shianda's ending. "Did I look that small" or whatever makes me ;__;

11. Shinada's intro w 22 yr old him w his victory his homerun !!!!!! and then the chapter intro and then cutting to current Shinada will never not make me crazy

10. Shinada + Daigo train scene always makes me :) Shinada being happy about the pocket change. Shinada getting so sad and hiding behind his newspaper. "Dont do this to me." Daigo just trying to read his magazine + not giving a shit. Daigo's "nani?" that is completely void of emotion when Shinada gets up.

9. Saejima + Majima kanrai scene :) them just being brothers. Calling Daigo their little chef or whatever. How they have to keep burning blacker wahhhhh

8. Kiryu taxi scene at the end of his chapter. How hes completely emotionless when the detective is talking to him and then when he just honks the horn in frustration when he leaves im insane im insane he loves his friend Majima

7. Haruka + Akiyama reunion :) very sweet pair i love their dynamic. Akiyama cant sit still and he changes position 5 different times. When he says Haruka is Kiryu's daughter :)

6. Majima + Saejima boss fight. "He loves [Haruka] more than life itself" always makes me tear up. The fight itself. Shinada cameo w the camera. Saejima grabbing the knife

5. Shinada + Milky rooftop scene. Makes me crazy crazy i cant even put it into words :(((

4. Daigo gets shot. "Daigo. Daigo! I have to get to Daigo! When I get over there Im going to tear you apart" wahhh wahhh thats his son who he loves so dearly :(

3. Shinada + Daigo rooftop scene where they talk about their dreams. Shinada wanting control of his own life. Daigo's "you deserve to be in the spotlight" waaaagghhh

2. Shinada hospital scene w Watase. Im crazy im insane. Willing to kill for Daigo's dream rrrrrrrrrrrrr

1. Haruka Dream Line confession :) calling Kiryu her dad, saying people shouldnt judge him. The post credits w the two of them. "Haruka? Is this a dream?" "No, Im really here with you" or whatever the fuck i think about it a lot

[thousandfourhundreddays]

Yours For Tonight. Pt 2

Michael Gray x Reader

Part One

A/n: Requested by @namelesslosers , “Part two please! This is amazing, Maybe one where he's already with Gina and the reader comes back to Small Heat? They never stopped loving each other and yeah... Anyway, tag me if you do please?”

The Morning After

“I couldn’t face saying goodbye for the last time, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I have to leave and I’m sorry that we can’t spend the rest of our lives together. I know I promised we would. I’ll never forget you Michael, the love that you showed me was possible, and I’ll forever be thankful for that. I’ll love you always, y/n”

That was the note you left for Michael the morning you left, taking one last look back at his sleeping figure before you gently closed his bedroom door, sneaking down the staircase and onto the cold, harsh cobbles of the street outside, ready to begin your new life in France with your boyfriend. Well... as ready as you would ever be.

Three Years Later

The sharp wind whipped around your as you stepped out of your taxi, taking a long, deep breath whilst you stood taking in your surroundings, the sleek black car vanishing back down the street. A small smile spread across your face as you saw the familiar blackish grey terrace houses that held so many memories. The dull, cold cobbles of the roads which ironically brought you so much warmth and comfort.

You were home... you were in Small Heath.

With no plans of where you’d live, or work, however truthfully, your husbands job left you quite well off so for now you could easily pay for a hotel for however long it took for you to find a house, you found yourself heading to the garrison.

As soon as you made your way through the sparkling golden doors, you caught eyes with Harry, his face lighting up with surprise. You sat and chatted for a good hour or so as he served the men in the pub, this is where you learned that Tommy had bought the pub not long after you left, explaining the glamorous new design. Sparking the topic of the Peaky Blinders, him raving about how well they were all doing which lead to you subtly asking how “Pollys son, that new lad Michael” was doing, which was how you were told he had moved to America on business for a while before moving back a few months later. The topic didn’t last long, you not wanting to seem suspicious so you let Harry briefly fill you in on how your mutual friends were doing.

After a short while, a few familiar faces, mostly friends from school and thier boyfriends and husband made their way into the pub as the day shifted into the evening. The garrison grew busier with time whilst you were bombarded with questions about your life over the past three years, the contry, the food, the people. You almost didn’t notice the door fly open and the faces of Tommy Shelby and Polly Gray appear in the doorway. You breathed a sigh of relief when they turned to make thier way into the back room.

That was until the door creaked opens once again, revealing the face of the man you once, a almost definitely still do love. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, placing a cigarette between his lips and raising a match to light it. He lifted his eyes whilst tucking the match box back into his trouser pocket, scanning the room. Your heat skipped a beat as his chestnut brown eyes can’t into line with your y/e/c ones. It felt like the world stopped spinning, his face unreadable as you swallowed the lump in your throat. The buzz of chatter began to ring in your ears, fading into silence. To you, it felt like it was only you and him in the room. A shy, unsure smile flashed across your face, his astonished eyes softening in response.

Suddenly the noise returned to your ears, your heat started to beat and 1000 miles an hour and you watched a woman slip through the crack between the doors, her golden blonde hair glistening in the light. Her painted red lips raising to Michaels ear, whispering something which you couldn’t make out. Her hand making its way upto Michaels neck to get his attention, her burgundy nails gently scratching against his skin. On her finger, a ring.

You forced your eyes away and tears welled in them. Michael snatching his head in the direction of his wife and they also made thier way into the back room.

Your mind was riddled with questions and possibilities. How long had they been married? Did they have children? What was her name? Of corse you knew there was a possibility of seeing him, you weren’t stupid. You for some reason you hadn’t expected this.

You spent the next half an hour or so trying your best to act natural, a few wuenstioning looks were directed at you from your friends, which were returned with you most convincing smile.

Not long after, the Blinders left the back room, Tommy heading to the bar, Polly heading home, leaving Michael and his wife stood talking for a second before she ran to catch up with Polly. He stood searching the room for your face in the crowd of drunken men and tipsy women, after finally spotting you he gave a sly nod in the direction of the door, indicating for you to follow. You waited a minute or two to avoid any suspicion, and to prepare yourself for what was about to happen, before excusing yourself to the toilet and slipping out the out the pub undetected.

The cool air hit you, somewhat refreshing however due to your lack of preparation to be stood out in the cold with your ex lover at this time of night, and therefore your lack of coat, the cold soon hit your bones, causing you to warp your arms around yourself with a shiver.

You searched the darkness for Michael, only spotting him when the glow of a match lit up his face in a discreet ally a few meters away from the entrance of the Garrison. Letting out a shakey breath, your feet subconsciously carried you towards him.

You froze a couple of meters in front of him. You took in his appearance as you stared at one another. His eyes sat above light purple circles, he looked exhausted. His skin a little more wrinkled than when you left, obviously from stress. His hair gelled to the side, much smarter and professional than you ever remembered, must be to cover his tiredness.

“Hey” the simple word snapped you out of your thoughts, bringing your eyes back upto his. They were no longer bright and full of life, they were dull and mysterious.

“Hi” you said, your voice wavering slightly as you let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

He offered you a cigarette which you gladly took, thanking him with a smile as you made your way forward, now standing opposite him.

A few seconds past before he broke the silence.

“How’ve you been?” He said cautiously.

“Not bad, you?”

“Yeah, good, thank you”

You stood in an awkward silence, neither of you knowing how to begin a conversation, or more like not knowing what kind of conversation to start.

Once again, it was Michael who spoke first. “What are you doing here, y/n?”

“Well, Iv got nothing left for me in France, let’s just say that.”

“What about...” he began, about to ask about your boyfriend before his mind assumed the worst. “Is he... ok?”

“He’s fine. Well...” you took a second to think of how to word your sentence. Do you lie? How much should you tell? You gave in, letting out a sigh, you continued “Prison.”

Michael raised his eyebrows in shock, your boyfriend would be the last person anyone would’ve expected to go to prison. A respectable lawyer from an honourable family.

“Yeah” you said, reading his expression. “Money laundering... got three years inside.” You looked down at th ground, for some reason ashamed of your partners illegal antics which you had absolutely no involvement in.

“And you didn’t want to wait for him?”

“Nah” your lifted you head to have another drag of your cigarette, as did Michael.

“You know how I feel about criminals.” You joked with a small smile, you were fully aware of what Michael and his family did for a living, and he knew that. A faint grin flashed across his face, giving you his good old, soft ‘shut up’ face as he let out a soft laugh.

“Didn’t expect that” he said, deciding to state the obvious.

“Yeah well he wasn’t as lucky as you lot, he got caught” Another giggle left his lips, you always knew how to make him laugh, he loved that about you.

“No, but seriously... I just saw my chance and took it, you know how I felt about him, I never wanted to leave. Anyway, here I am.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile, imagining how it felt to have to sail off to a new country, leaving everything you ever knew behind to live with a boyfriend you you’d fell out of love with.

His trail of though was broken. “So, what’ve you been upto?” You said solemnly, leaning back against the cold brick wall, preparing yourself for the conversation surrounding his wife.

Michael inhaled on his cigarette, needing to calm his nerves, he knew you had realised who she was when he walked into the Garrison, you weren’t stupid, he could see it in your eyes.

“She’s my wife.” He stated, knowing you’d catch on to who he was talking about.

“Congratulations” you tried to put on your best fake smile.

“I didn’t think you’d ever come back, y/n, honestly if I had any ide-”

“Michael... dont. You weren’t to know”

He nodded slightly, clearing his throat. “I still love you, you know” his voice was shy, laced with anticipation and somewhat fear.

“Loving each other was never the problem, mikey” you said softly.

“Yeah but now the problems Gina, and I-”

“Gina” you cut him off, reality hitting you now that you learned his wife’s name. He just looked at you, sadness set deep within his eyes.

“I’d do anything for you y/n, anything to have you back” his voice was barely a whisper as he stepped closer to you. His hand cautiously reaching up to cup your face. You leaned into his palm as you eyes glided shut, a tear escaping. “Look at me, please y/n”

You slowly opened you eyes to see Michaels only inches away, now glistening with tears of his own. Before you knew it, his lips were on yours, the connection which you had longed to feel for so many years hit you. The butterflies in your stomach, the slight dizzy ness that only Michael ever made you feel. It was all still there.

Despite your hunger for him, you abruptly broke the kiss, stroking his cheek, trying to hold yourself back. “I can’t do this Michael... your happily married” once again leaning into his touch.

“I’m not happy” he said bluntly, shaking his head as if to convince you.

“She is”

“I’m so sorry y/n, for everything” his voice filled with regret.

“Don’t be, please don’t be... Iv got to go Mikey”

And with that, you smoothly escaped his grasp and made your way out onto the street, the biting wind surrounded you once again.

You heard the faint calls of Michael shouting your name as you forced you self to keep walking. Leaving you both with tear stained faces.

Michael would have to go home to his wife, his mind submerged in thoughts of you whilst you lay in an estranged hotel room, drowning in thoughts on Michael.

PartThree.

A/n: hehehehe I’m actually SO proud of this :) @namelesslosers I hope this is ok!!

Remember my requests are always open!!

Instagram: @peakyblindersengland

Masterlist

Xox

[chasholidays]

Hello and Happy Holidays! Would love to see an Alternate POV from Monty or Miller for "though it's always pricking me."

Original fic here!

When Monty heard that Dropship was going to be in town over the summer, he was not expecting that he, personally, would have much interaction with them. Everyone knows why they’re coming back, knows how Aurora Blake is doing (not well) and how much Bellamy cares about his family (a lot). The whole town is abuzz with the news in the way only small towns can be, and people who know that Bellamy was in school with Monty are definitely eager to hear all about him, but Monty knows he’s not going to be at the top of Bellamy’s list of people to see, nor should he be. If not for the band, Monty probably would have largely forgotten Bellamy existed. Bellamy might not have ever known Monty existed. Monty wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t.

Still, the whole thing is kind of exciting, in a silly way. Everyone at school who knows where he lives now also knows that he’s going to be in the same geographic location as Dropship, and odds aren’t bad that he’ll run into at least one of them. If it’s Bellamy, he’ll maybe have a conversation, and then he can ride that wave of coolness for at least a week and possibly longer.

It would be a pretty great way to start off senior year, and he sees no reason to set his expectations higher than that. Even that’s pretty optimistic.

Jasper, of course, is more optimistic.

“He’s going to be bored! You know he wants to hang out with us. We’re very lovable.”

“Speak for yourself,” Monroe says, and Monty frowns.

“Sorry, are you saying you’re not lovable? Are you negging yourself?”

She pauses, frowns at her beer. “Yeah, that didn’t really work. I’m just saying, the odds of Bellamy Blake even getting a Facebook invite, let alone responding to one, seem really low. Does he even have his own Facebook? Isn’t it just one of those celebrity profiles?”

“It probably couldn’t hurt,” Wells says, the voice of reason as always. “But if you send it and he doesn’t respond and doesn’t show up, you’ll never know if he saw it and decided not to come or never saw it or saw it and hates you and–”

Jasper holds up his hand. “Okay, okay. I get it. I will not invite Bellamy Blake to our weekly drinks, and none of us will ever be discovered as secret rock geniuses–”

“You definitely wouldn’t be,” Monty puts in.

“Just let the record show that I tried to make us rich and famous, and you guys were like, fuck that.”

“That’s exactly what happened,” says Harper, dry.

“It’s on the record,” Clarke adds. She’s been quiet, but she definitely had a crush on Bellamy back in high school, so she’s probably stressing more than the rest of them. If Monty’s high-school crush had disappeared off the face of the earth and then reemerged as the lead singer of a hit band, he’d also probably feel kind of weird about it. “This is the only bar in town, if they want to drink, this is it.”

Jasper raises his own glass. “Here’s hoping.”

Clarke smiles a small, private smile. “Yeah, here’s hoping.”

*

“Wouldn’t it make more sense if I didn’t come to this?” Nate asks. He’s not actually that opposed to going to the bar–Arcadia is not an exciting place, and anything that breaks up the monotony is good by him–but if he doesn’t put in at least a token protest, they’ll just assume he always wants to be sociable, and he’s got a reputation to maintain. If people start thinking he just enjoys doing things, he’s going to be on the hook to do things all the time.

“Why, because you suddenly don’t like drinking?” Bellamy asks. He’s been doing minute adjustments to his hairstyle for what feels like an hour, and Nate can admit he is curious about that one. Bellamy with an actual crush is new and different.

Or old and different, really. Apparently Bellamy’s been nursing this one for a long time.

“I can drink here, I don’t have to go to your shitty hometown bar.”

“You get to go to his shitty hometown bar,” Raven says. “How do you not see this for the opportunity it is? All of Bellamy’s high-school friends telling m us all the dirt they can remember? You know you want in on that.”

Nate sighs theatrically. “Fine. But if it sucks, I’m taking a taxi back and leaving you assholes.”

“You say that every time we go anywhere,” Bellamy says, finally finishing with his hair. “And you’ve never actually left us.”

“So far. There’s a first time for everything.”

The bar itself is nothing special, larger than their usual hangout in the city but otherwise unremarkable. Standard bar stuff, as far as Nate is concerned. It’s decently busy for a Friday night, but not packed, and it feels a little like a scene in a Western, when the outlaw walks into the saloon and and everyone stops talking and the piano stops playing. He doesn’t think everyone looks at them, but he feels conspicuous even before some scrawny white kid in goggles starts to call Bellamy.

Another kid, Asian and cute with short black hair and a stoner vibe, shuts him up before he gets it out, and Bellamy snorts, shakes his head.

“More friends?” Raven murmurs.

“Monty and Jasper. They’re probably about your speed, Miller.”

“Where’s your girl?”

“She’s not my–” Bellamy protests, but Raven takes over. “Cute blonde at the bar,” she says. “The one pretending not to look at us.”

“Cool.” He gives Bellamy a thump on the shoulder. “Good luck with that.”

The goggles kid–either Jasper or Monty–has calmed down by the time Nate makes it over to his table, and he manages a friendly, pretty normal smile. “Hi! We have a pitcher, want beer?”

The other kid, the cute stoner, adds, “It’s very shitty beer.”

“How old are you guys?” he asks, frowning. “There’s no way you get away with a fake ID in a town this small.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” says the goggles kid. “We’ve been successfully buying illegal booze since high school.”

“We’re twenty-one,” the other one supplies. He seems to be the straight man to his friend’s goofball, a dynamic Nate is used to. He doesn’t know a lot of goofballs, but for a gay guy he makes a pretty great straight man. “Two grades lower than Bellamy in high school. I’m Monty, and this is Jasper.”

“Nice to meet you guys. I’m Nate.”

Jasper frowns. “Everyone always calls you Miller.”

“Yeah, but it’s weird introducing yourself by last name.”

“Fair enough. You want our cheap beer or not?”

“Love some, thanks.” Monty pours and slides him one, and Nate takes a drink, making a face. “You weren’t kidding.”

“Of course we weren’t. Who lies about buying cheap beer?” Monty asks. “It’s Bud Lite, there’s a special for pitchers, and not all of us are famous rock stars. But if you want to get something better for the next round, we won’t say no.”

“How generous of you.” He takes a chug of the beer; the faster he drinks it, the less he has to taste. “So you’re in college, right?”

They are, rising seniors–Jasper at Oberlin and Monty at Cornell, which actually throws him a little. He knows most people don’t go to college with their high school friends, but something about how the two of them are together made him think they were always this joined at the hip.

“We’re planning to go to the same place once we graduate,” Jasper says, so at least there’s that. “Maybe move in together.”

“Jasper is hoping he’s going to have a serious girlfriend by then and he can move in with her instead of me.”

“The power of positive thinking, Monty! If I believe, it will happen. You should try it, you could get a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend!”

The addition comes in a hurried way that makes Nate assume it’s new and still not totally natural, but without any kind of judgement. Monty is newly out as queer and Jasper is still updating his perceptions, but he’s trying. That’s always nice.

And, well, interesting. Monty started off cute and keeps getting cuter.

“I think I’d have to do more than just believe to find a significant other,” Monty says, dry. “I’ve heard that it requires some bare minimum of effort.”

“Yeah, but believing is easy and it can’t hurt to try.” He turns his attention back to Nate, his gaze surprisingly sharp for how drunk he seems. “How’s dating as a celebrity? Weird?”

“I dont date much, but it probably would be weird. It’s always kind of–” He pauses, trying to figure out the right words. “I had a boyfriend when the band got big, and we tried to stay together, but it was just too complicated, you know? He was always kind of worried I was cheating on him when I was out of town.”

“That sucks,” says Monty.

“Were you cheating on him?” Jasper asks, and Monty elbows him. “What, I’m curious! He can tell us, we don’t know his ex.”

“If you cheated on your ex would you want to tell two random strangers in a bar?”

“It sounds better than telling friends or family.”

Nate has to smile. “I didn’t cheat on him. Bellamy’s really paranoid about this stuff, it rubs off. Not that I was ever tempted, but even after we broke up, he got in my head about people I slept with bragging to the Internet or something.”

“So you’re a rock star who doesn’t get laid?” Jasper asks, in the tones of a kid who just learned Santa isn’t real.

“I don’t usually hook up with civilians. Industry people, the ones who are more used to the lifestyle, that’s usually easier.” He shrugs. “I don’t worry they’re just doing it for a story to tell.”

“So you aren’t interested in sleeping with Jasper,” Monty supplies.

Nate snorts into his beer. “I didn’t think I was the uninterested party there.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m interested, but I’d definitely do it just so I could say I fucked a famous person. Honestly, I’d probably be over there trying to flirt with your drummer except that Wells already is and I’d feel like a terrible person.”

“You could go for Bellamy.”

“I don’t ever want to get on Clarke’s bad side. Wells I’d feel guilty, but Clarke would actually destroy my life.”

No wonder Bellamy likes her so much. “So I’m at the bottom of your Dropship hookup chart?” he asks Jasper. “Dude, come on.”

“Just practically speaking. I’m pretty straight, so Raven’s first, and I figure Bellamy and I have history, so–”

Monty snorts. “You barely talked to him in high school. Also I remember you in high school, I don’t think that’s really working in your favor. Jasper didn’t start developing muscle mass until college,” he adds, to Nate.

“This is Jasper with muscle mass?”

For a second, he’s worried he went too far, that the thoughtless quip actually hurt Jasper’s feelings and there will be a “Nathan Miller was super mean to me in a small-town dive bar” post doing the rounds on social media tomorrow, but then they both crack up.

“I’m secretly ripped!”

“You’re secretly less scrawny than you look,” says Monty. “Which is definitely an accomplishment, but less of one.”

“Screw you both,” he says, cheerful. His phone buzzes, and he checks it. “Literally screw you both, I’m leaving.”

“Did that girl text you back?”

“The power of positive thinking!”

“You’re going to miss out on the fancy beer Miller’s buying us,” says Monty.

“You can drink mine and tell me about it later.” He flashes Nate a smile. “Nice to meet you, hope we see you again, sorry not sorry I’m going on a date.”

Nate can’t argue with that. “Fair enough, have fun.”

“Thanks, you too!” He salutes, and then he’s gone, and Nate and Monty look at each other for an awkward second.

Nate breaks it. “So, next round. Is there an expensive beer you like?”

Monty’s face relaxes into a smile. “I think I can come up with something.”

*

I can’t believe you left me ALONE with NATHAN MILLER.

Monty sends the text while Miller–Nate, he can call Nathan Miller Nate–is in the bathroom, about an hour after Jasper leaves. Clarke is still talking to Bellamy and Wells is still talking to Raven, and it makes Monty feel weirdly paired off, even though he wasn’t trying and was definitely not prepared. He didn’t even do shots with Wells to get ready. He’s a little stoned and a little buzzed, but not enough of either and paranoid about getting worse. If he was drunk, he wouldn’t be thinking about it at all, but since he’s not drunk enough yet, he’s self-conscious about getting sloppy. It’s the actual worst.

yes it is amazing how good a friend I am, Jasper texts back. have fun!!!

If Monty had thought it was unlikely he’d see Bellamy, he had been unable to even comprehend seeing Nathan Miller. It was so outside of the realm of possibility that it wasn’t even worth thinking about, beyond unrealistic. If he had seen Miller, he’d thought that was all it would be, just admiring him from afar. He wasn’t supposed to be talking to him, getting a drink with him, hanging out with him like a normal person. Like those pictures of him in a mesh vest from some weird photoshoot last year hadn’t been the final straw that tipped Monty into identifying as bisexual.

The good news is that it’s not going that badly, but that’s bad news, at the same time. If he was an asshole who wasn’t giving Monty the time of day, it would be easy, one of those never-meet-your-heroes moments. Even if he’d just been friendly, it might not have been that bad. He could have been a perfectly nice guy with whom Monty had nothing in common, and they would have spent the evening making slightly stilted conversation before parting ways.

Instead, they’d gotten another round of drinks and Miller had asked if he was into video games and that was it. Monty had hesitantly offered that he was really into Fire Emblem right now, and Miller had apparently been playing it on the tour bus, and from there they branched out into favorite games, first gaming systems, upcoming releases they’re excited about. If Miller was just a guy he’d met here by chance–deeply unrealistic, as Monty is not the kind of person who meets new people at bars–he’d say they were hitting it off. He might be trying to flirt.

But Miller is Nate is Nathan Miller. He’s been profiled in Rolling Stone. He’s not quite a household name–that’s Bellamy, as the band’s front man–but if he said “I had drinks with the bass player for Dropship,” everyone would know what he was talking about, even his coding professor, who brags about not having learned anything about pop culture since 1989. People hear about Dropship just by being alive, and Monty doesn’t care that much about prestige, but this is going to be one hell of a what I did over the summer.

Assuming he tells anyone. Does bragging about getting drinks and talking about video games count as scuzzy? He doesn’t want to be one of those guys who takes advantage, who makes Miller feel like he can’t talk to civilians.

So when he gets back, Monty just asks. “So, can I tell my friends about this?”

“About what, exactly?”

“How Nathan Miller likes video games and drinks pretentious local IPAs.”

He snorts. “I talk about video games in like all my interviews, it’s not exactly a scoop.”

“You know what I mean.” But he raises his eyebrows like he doesn’t, forcing Monty to clarify, “I don’t want to be one of those people who just brags about–talking to you.”

It’s slightly awkward, both because it feels like he’s using “talking” as a euphemism and because he feels like he’s always slightly awkward, especially without Jasper, who tends to give him easy things to play off of. It had worried him, when he went off to college, that he’d never survive on his own, and he’s fine, has made plenty of friends, but then he’ll be back with Jasper and remember how much easier it feels, to be social with him.

Miller doesn’t seem to notice; he just smirks. “Nah, I love when people brag about talking to me. We can take some selfies if you want.”

“So when does it cross the line into bothering you?”

He drums his fingers on the table. “Good question. I think it’s more–just a vibe. It’s not hard to figure out the people who are just sucking up. Most people–even most super fans–are fine. Kind of nervous at first, but they just want to talk. I never mind people saying they met me. Except that it’s fucking surreal.”

Monty has to laugh. “Yeah, I bet.”

“You didn’t really seem that excited,” he observes, casual.

“I never seem like I’m showing that much emotion compared to Jasper. It’s kind of nice. Takes the pressure off.”

“You always get to be the cool one.”

“Or at least the calm one. It is pretty exciting,” he adds. “Meeting a celebrity.”

“You know Bellamy.”

“Not that well, like I said. And it’s not–” He glances towards the bar, Bellamy leaning into Clarke, the two of them in a world of their own, just like the old days. “I didn’t get to vote on his senior superlatives, but I would have said he was most likely to make it in show business. He’s got charisma. So it’s cool, but not much of a surprise.”

Nate nods. “Yeah, I remember when I first met him. I knew he was going to take me places.”

“You’re twenty-three, right?” he asks. “His age?”

“Yeah.”

He shakes his head. “I feel like you’re too young to be famous. I’m still worried about having a real job, and you’ve been making a living for years.”

“We got lucky,” says Nate. “Shit, so fucking lucky. We only had a few months of shitty gigs before someone decided we were the real deal. And it still took time for us to be able to quit our day jobs.”

“So your life is weird.”

“So weird.”

“Is it better or worse being way out here?”

He shrugs. “It’s different. Our profile is a lot higher. In New York, if someone sees me, they’re not sure it’s me. But everyone knows we’re here, everyone knows Bellamy, so there’s no question. But you’re also really paranoid about coming off weirdly, so–”

“So everyone’s like me.”

That makes him think. “Nah, not everyone is as cool as you are.”

The bar’s lighting is low enough that Monty doesn’t think the flush will be obvious. At least his voice is steady. “I didn’t think cool for rock stars involved playing a ton of video games.”

“You play good video games, so yeah. You’re cool.” He considers. “You said you didn’t have a PS4 yet, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You should stop by sometime and play,” he says. “Bellamy’s too bad at video games and Raven’s too good.”

Monty’s jaw doesn’t drop, but it’s close. “You want to play video games with me?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Because you must have better people to play video games with?”

“What’s wrong with you?” He clucks his tongue. “Full disclosure? You’re cute and chill and I want to hang out with you more. You want to tell all your friends that you spent part of your summer vacation playing games and flirting with a guy in a band, I’m cool with that.”

The words come out easily, somehow. It doesn’t even make sense, he’s never smooth, but talking to Miller–to Nate, to this guy, who’s chill and down-to-earth and nice–is natural. They get along. “I don’t kiss and tell,” he says. “So if you ever want me to keep quiet, all you have to do is kiss me.”

Nate laughs. “Yeah? That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“I hope it’s not.”

“I hope so too. So, what are you doing tomorrow?”

Jasper is going to be the worst possible combination of smug and jealous, but he’ll live. He’s flirting with a cute boy who likes video games; it’s awesome. “Nothing so far.”

“Cool. I’ll figure out when my asshole bandmates aren’t around and give you a call.”

“You don’t have my number.”

“Not yet. But we’re not even done with our drinks. I’m not going anywhere yet.”

They have two more rounds and take the same taxi back. Nate gets dropped off first, takes a minute to study Monty’s face, lingering on his lips, before he says, “I’m not kissing you tonight.”

“No?”

“I want you to have a couple stories you can share.” But he does peck him on the cheek. “Night, Monty.”

He texts Jasper immediately. You’re never going to believe what happened.

The response takes a little longer; hopefully his night was good too. I’m the best friend in the entire universe?????

Honestly, Monty replies, smiling in the dark of the backseat, you just might be.

*

“So, it sounds like both your bandmates did pretty well for themselves in Arcadia,” the interviewer tells Nate, like he doesn’t know Bellamy and Raven have significant others now. He found out way before the media did. “Are you jealous?”

“Jealous of what, exactly?” he asks, with a shrug. “Wells isn’t my type. Clarke is even less my type. And don’t even start with Bellamy being my type.”

She laughs, apparently genuinely amused, which makes Nate like her more. Most of the questions reporters ask aren’t really their own fault, especially for shit like this. They’re doing rapid-fire press for a new single and everyone only has a few minutes. This website likes gossip, so the interviewer wants gossip. Nate doesn’t blame her.

“Trust me, even I’m getting tired of asking if you and Bellamy are secretly sleeping together. I was relieved I could stop asking about Bellamy and Raven. But is it tough? Being the last single member of the band? Does it get lonely?”

On the surface, the question is absurd. Bellamy and Raven are dating people, not off to war. He’s not alone. He’s not even single, although he hasn’t told anyone about Monty yet, not even his bandmates. They were fairly casual over the summer in Arcadia, didn’t even hook up very much. It was like having a friend with benefits, except the benefit rarely went farther than kissing. Nate didn’t mind, he liked the closeness of it, the intimacy, like getting close to Monty, but the last few months have been a weird sort of limbo, Monty at school, applying for jobs, figuring things out.

He is lonely, but not because he’s single and his friends aren’t. And Monty’s graduating next month, already has an apartment lined up in the city. Him and Jasper together, despite Monty having a boyfriend–they agreed they can work on cohabitation once they’ve been in the same place a little longer.

“I guess that’s not how it is for me. I don’t feel worse about being single when my friends aren’t? Maybe I will, I get why people do. But I like Clarke and Wells, so mostly I’ve got more friends. And they help out keeping an eye on Bellamy’s sister when we’re busy. Not to get too sappy, but mostly being in Arcadia means my family grew. Hard to be lonely when that happens.”

She looks dubious, for which Nate can’t blame her. If he didn’t have Monty, he doesn’t know what he’d say, but as it is, it’s pretty easy. Arcadia was good to him too, and his life is about to get better. Maybe he’ll do another interview with her, when everything is said and done and he and Monty have decided to go public. Let her know how he was really feeling.

For now, though, it’s just for him. Him and Monty, Jasper, the rest of the band. All the people who really matter.

“So, nothing big to report? No one special in your life?”

“Everyone in my life is special,” he says, with a shit-eating grin, and she laughs again.

“Of course, sorry. Anything else you’d like our readers to know?”

“I’m good,” he says, meaning it. “Great, even. No one has to worry about me.”

Once he’s out, he texts Monty: Ngl, I’m looking forward to telling people I’m kissing you.

I’m ready to brag whenever, Monty shoots back. Can’t wait to get all those dating a rockstar points. Finally, I’ll be cool.

Nate smiles. You’re the coolest, he says, and puts his phone in his pocket as he waits for Bellamy and Raven to finish up so they can leave. It’s not exactly the life he was expecting, not this time last year, not when he was in high school, not when he was a kid, deciding what he wanted to be when he grew up.

He never thought it could be this good, and in another month, it will be even better.

He’s got no complaints.

[kae-karo]

Katie I’m about to fly completely on my own for the first time this Friday and I’m pretty anxious about it. Do you have any advise you could give me about flying/the airport/packing/anything really? Thank you in advance :S x

hi b! ooooookay wow finally the 38 flights i went on last year will come in handy!

packing:

okay traveling by yourself if you’ve never done it before won’t necessarily impact your packing - just be sure that if you have a small carry-on bag that you don’t have any liquids over 2.5oz and remember that like. if you forget something, a lot of hotels (if that’s where you’re staying) will have stuff you can use for free, just ask them. worst case they usually have some stuff you can buy but most places are like really nice. if you’re staying with friends/family, just ask if you forgot something!

most people usually do like a carry-on bag and a checked bag, but just do whatever you normally do, and then make sure your carry-on has your id/passport, your phone, a charger for said phone, your wallet, any meds you have or anything you can’t go for the entire flight without, and then something to do on the plane (book, game, laptop, tablet, etc)

my necessities: phone, wallet, passport if i’m going international, keys cause i usually have to get back in my house after lmao, laptop, chargers for laptop and phone, a portable charger, headphones

here’s the hard tip: acknowledge that you probably will forget something. i literally travel almost every month of the year and i forget one thing every time. but it’s gonna be okay. as long as you have your id/passport/wallet and phone, things will be okay

before you travel:

okay so i have the apps for like all the major airlines and i usually try to check myself in right when i’m allowed to (24hr before). if you’re on southwest, set yourself a reminder so you can check in exactly 24hr before the flight and make sure you get a decent boarding number cause they do it on first come first serve

otherwise, just check in and save a screenshot of your boarding pass to your phone. i usually just do everything with the boarding pass in the app or saved to my photos but you can get a paper copy at the airport as well, and don’t stress if you lose it or w.e once you’re past security cause the gate attendants can print a new one (or you can just use the mobile)

oh the other thing here is you can sometimes choose a different seat whilst checking in? so if you see the one that’s assigned to you and you Don’t Like It, see if any others are available that you might prefer. i always go for the closest aisle seat to the front when traveling alone

and ofc you’ll want to make sure you have some kind of plan for once you arrive at your destination for how you’ll be getting wherever you’re going - taxi, uber, ride from friend/fam, public transport, whatever, just kind of have an idea what you need to do so you’re not stressing once you land

this one is one that doesn’t apply to me, but definitely something to check and look into if needed: if you have any special requirements or needs whilst in the airport or flying, ie wheelchairs or special accommodations or w.e, make sure you know what you have to do when you arrive

leaving for the airport:

okay first and foremost, depending on your airport, you’ll want to be sure you arrive at least 1.5hr early (this is like my personal rule of thumb bc i usually fly in and out of moderately large airports and i have Massive Paranoia about traveling for some reason?? even though i take like 12+ trips a year? but most places require no less than 40ish minutes ahead of time, that’s like super tight though i do Not recommend) - keep in mind like. traffic and stuff, if you’re going to the airport during rush hour or w.e make time for that

if you’re not familiar with your airport and like getting in (bc there’s usually a massive amount of like exits and ‘turn here for this’ sort of things) talk to someone who is familiar with it or like. google maps it ahead of time and street view walk yourself through it, whatever you need to do to feel comfy so if you’re the one driving, you know where to go to park/etc. if you’re ubering or having someone drop you off, just be sure you know which airline you’re on as they’ll drop you off in the right place

checking in:

okay if you’re already checked in and you don’t have a checked bag, you can head straight to security, but if you do need to check your bag, use the kiosks they’re always faster and you don’t have to wait in line. it’s pretty self-explanatory, usually, just enter the identifying info and it’ll probably note that you’re already checked in and just say you have a bag to check. you can also print a physical boarding pass here if you want. the kiosk will print out your luggage tag and just follow the instructions to attach it to the bag. there’ll be like a drop off point (they’re usually p well-labeled) up by the actual people at desks so just head up there and have your id/passport and boarding pass ready cause they’ll want to check them

security:

okay 9 times out of 10 you probably will Not have tsa precheck but if you do, it’ll be somewhere on your boarding pass and you should look for/ask someone about the nearest tsa precheck line. it’s just convenient, cause you don’t have to remove laptops or take your shoes off and it’s usually the shortest line

if you don’t have tsa precheck, just find the nearest (and shortest) security line and have your id and boarding pass ready. if you’re using a mobile boarding pass, lock your screen rotation if you’ll be using the picture you took instead of the app (this is the most annoying thing lmao i’ve done it too many times and usually just try to use the app when i can cause it’ll lock the rotation and go full brightness automatically). then you’ll have to put the phone on the lil scanner and it’ll beep when it’s scanned and done

now, again, if you have any special needs whilst going through security, you’re probably familiar with what you’d have to do if it differs from the standard procedure, but otherwise just go through as you normally would

between security and boarding:

do whatever u want basically. get food, if you need it or if you think you’ll need it whilst on the flight. drinks are usually hella expensive so i try to bring my refillable water bottle (empty!) and then refill once i’m past security

basically how you spend this time is totally up to you. i usually grab food as needed then go chill by my gate, if it’s an airport i’m familiar with and i know how long it’ll take to get wherever i need to go, but you may be more comfy just finding your gate first and then sticking nearby to get anything you need. also i’m a big fan of the charging areas which a lot of airports have now, so if u wanna charge up i recommend

boarding:

every airline is different but there’ll usually be some kind of boarding group or order listed on your boarding pass, so just keep that in mind (ie american has like,,,,6 boarding groups? united has 9, southwest has their whole a/b/c groups, etc etc etc i think one even has like a 2a 2b or something idk that might’ve been in the uk but just look on your boarding pass) if you’re confused or w.e don’t be afraid to ask one of the gate attendants that stand at the front

basically nothing here is all that different if you’re alone, just pay attention when they start boarding and listen for your group, same rule of thumb goes with turning your phone on screen-rotation lock when you go to scan your boarding pass (if it’s the mobile pic you saved)

the goal here with boarding is to go as quickly as you can, but don’t stress if it takes you a second to get in your row! it’s okay, people aren’t as in a rush as they seem. definitely try to fit ur stuff under your seat cause otherwise it’s a pain to get up and get it from the overhead bins

the flight:

honestly just sit back relax and do whatever u normally do! usually there’s no reason this would be any different when traveling alone. aside from sitting near strangers which is annoying sometimes but in my experience if u pop some headphones in everyone leaves u alone

after the flight:

i mean generally just head out into the airport u landed in and look for baggage claim signs - regardless of whether u checked a bag or not, most ground transport out of the airport is near the baggage claim. so just follow signs (and generally the people leaving the plane) and make your way there. if you get lost, again, don’t feel bad abt asking someone to point you in the right direction

if u have a bag, most places have a display board that says which baggage claim you’re at (if they didn’t announce it on the plane when you landed) and you can wait there

once ur done, depending on your mode of transport out, you can follow signs! many of the bigger airports now have designated sections for rideshares like uber and lyft as well 

i hope that helps b! you’ll be fine, don’t stress too much :) i hope you’re traveling for a good/fun reason at least!

[izzyhcnds]

for the ask me things, all the ones featuring the numbers 4, 6 and 8.

….sophie…. omg…. i love this. thank you. im going to put these answers under a cut because i got a bit chaotic while answering these and it ended up very long. update: tumblr sucks and i cant seem to put in a cut so im very sorry if this takes up your whole dash.4: Do you drink? yes! I didn’t for a long time but then i became a #disaster

6: Age you get mistaken for? like around 18 ish. though i am still occasionally carded for 16 things.

8: Want any tattoos? i do! but I have never decided on one for long enough to actually want to get it so maybe in a while if i still like the idea i have just now! 

14: Biggest turn offs smokingggggggggggggggggggggg. the smell just doesn’t come off and i hate it

16: I’ll love you if you’re a genuine person. cant stand people who are just all mean or all nice. theres something wrong with everyone but theres still no need to be nasty. 

18: Most traumatic experienceheres a fun trauma instead - i dislocated and broke my toe by walking into a doorframe…. six months later i did it again. on the same damn door. i stopped coming in contact with that door, so i thought i might finally be safe. Earlier this year I went to london. my friend and i were going to go out dancing. i poured my first drink. didnt even take a god damn sip. i walked into the bed. my toe popped right the fuck out. i had to phone the nhs emergency line and had to figure out if i was being a wimp. i was not being a wimp. hopped down to reception, ordered a taxi, got to the hospital and gave everyone a laugh as i fully knew what i was doing with the xrays and the laughing gas. it was a Night. we met a cute boy too and bonded over our broken feet and how hard it was to hop. his name was george. miss you boo. 

24: My relationship with my parent(s) its good. i still live with them, which can be a bit… tense. 

26: My biggest pet peeves people eating with their mouths open

28: A description of the person I dislike the mostfun fact theres quite a list! but the most? hes orange, his name rhymes with Ronald Rump and is rapidly taking away the rights of our trans siblings, which is wholly unacceptable. Remember to talk to your representatives and tell them shit like that isnt okay!!. 

34: What I find attractive in women?god i dont even know it changes so damn much cause every pretty girl i see is suddenly the prettiest girl ive ever seen. A genuine smile is usually a constant though.

36: Where I would like to liveI love scotland and i think i always want my home to be here but i’d love to travel some more.

38: My childhood career choicefor most of my life i thought id be dead at 21 (not like a SH thing, i was just convinced going to be murdered or that god was going to smite me) so i never really thought about it, I just did what ever i liked in that moment. 40: Who wish I could bei want to be a bit more badass, so ive started learning a couple of weapons and weightlifting. so thats fun. 

41: Where I want to be rightnow so i work in a windowless room so the simple answer is anywhere but here. more specifically im hanging out with my friends and playing boardgames tonight so there or at my friends where im going for tea tomorrow. im excited.

42: The last thing I ate porridge! 

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediatelyPhoebe Tonkin. I’ve had such a constant crush on her, H20, Secret Circle, The Vampire Diaries/ Originals,, ugh. i loved them all. 

44: A random fact about anythingi always have very detailed day dream on the go, right now our world has just become the atla world and everything is amazing and awesome. its like i can see it. 45: Selfiei took this when i was on my day off from presenting my research at conference and i like it but i never posted it anywhere. my hotel room was great i loved it.

[its0katka]

A Personal History of Mountains

I’m five years old, seven years old, thirteen years old, and I drive through mountains to get to my cousin’s house an hour away in Duchess County. I know they aren’t really mountains though, because they aren’t tall enough, or craggy enough. They don’t look like the mountains I see in books and on TV. 

I’m used to tall things because of living in New York but the skyscrapers are oftentimes too tall and give a warped perspective on what tall actually is. Nature is different, though. Nature is real.

They look pretty in the fall when the leaves change colors, but when it’s summer they just look like oversized bushes, in the winter they are a dead bark brown. They aren’t rolling, it’s usually one large dome and then normal-sized foliage otherwise. Sometimes they look pretty when they are covered in snow.

I try not to think about mountains because one time I tried to hike Bear Mountain and I hated it.

I’m 20 years old and I’m flying to Ghana. We transfer planes in Germany and as we fly south, we cross the alps. I don’t know which alps, but we’re so high up above them that all we see is snow-capped tops and sharp peaks clearing the sky. I remember how excited I was to see them, because they looked like real mountains, and I was so close to them.

In Ghana I went on another hike to Mount Afadjato. I thought it’d be fine because I’d done a hike to Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh the summer before, and that was alright, it was the same amount of time (two hours up, an hour down) and I figured I was spry enough to do it.

I wasn’t. I fell behind the group quite far, especially when trying to walk down the mountain. I was suffering badly with the elevation. I was wearing Crocs. 

Arthur’s Seat was 822 ft tall. It had stairs along the way, and safety ropes. Mount Afadjato 2,904 ft tall. It had nothing but steep climbs, slippery rocks, and a worn train. I lost my footing at one point and slid down the mountain, I thought I was going to die. The group went to a cave the next day and I opted to stay home and try to watch the Ghanaian version of American Idol on the TV we had that never really worked.

I’m 22 and living in Žilina, Slovakia. I was provided with a three bedroom flat all to myself, for the modest price of $400 Euros a month. My Independent Study stipend pretty much covers the rent, I have to use my personal funds to buy food but it’s not too bad because I don’t have a fridge, so I basically have to eat vegetarian, eat out, or not eat at all.

From my balcony (yes, I have a balcony, yes, it’s where I keep my milk, cheese and yogurt to stay cold in the frigid November temperatures), I can see the Malá Fatras, a Slovak mountain range that’s popular with skiers. I love standing out on the freezing balcony looking at it because these are the tallest mountains I’ve ever seen, and the closest I’ll ever get. It makes me feel normal, like the world is not so vast, like there are borders and boundaries and it’s somehow cozy, in a weird way.

One weekend, all employees of Stanica are gone on holiday; Dusan goes on a trip to Bratislava with his girlfriend, Audrey and Helen go to Budapest. I am on my own except for Ints, who offers to hang out with me while everyone is gone, who makes sure to take me out to bars and have a good time, who drags me out to a mountain nearby to go see some castle ruins, except that I’m hungover as hell and the walk up is steep as hell and we stop for a cigarette break halfway through and I admit that I’m dying and I’m sore and dehydrated and can’t go on, can we please go home?

We stop at a bar on the way home and have warm beer. We go out later that night and I scream at him drunk in the snow because I want to have sex with him but he keeps saying he has a girlfriend but no one has ever met her, ever, not even his closest friend Aldrick and everyone keeps saying to me, “Wow are you Ints’s girlfriend?” and it killed me every time.

Years later I would understand that he was doing the right thing, he liked me but he was doing the right thing and knew it would be bad if we got involved. 

I’m 28 and on my honeymoon and we make a stop in Lake Como. I’m still not feeling 100% health-wise, and I welcome the chance to relax along the lake. Our Airbnb is a time capsule, it’s a separate room and bathroom attached to the home of a spry Englishwoman who married an Italian man and basically gets to see out her days in their Sala Comacina flat, with paramount views of Lake Como and a water taxi stop down the road. 

It’s more beautiful than anywhere I’ve ever been. The air is clear and crisp and warm, the Italian alps are visible in the far distance, snow capped and a stark comparison to the emerald green, sloping hills along the lake. When the sun sets, it turns them brilliant neon colors of pink, orange and purple.

We dine on prosciutto pizza and grilled fish at a place where the tables and chairs are made of plastic, and the local teenagers drop by for cokes. I take a picture and post it. Someone asks, “Is this a painting?” No, it’s reality.

I’m 30, and we’re driving through Switzerland, exhausted and half sick but determine to visit Berggasthaus Aescher, the famous building built into the side of a mountain, which serves food if you’re lucky enough to get there. I’ve done all the research, including figuring out how to get there by car, through winding roads and up steep elevations and narrow streets where the Swiss sports cars zip around like it’s no big deal except if you aren’t careful enough you may well drive off a cliff because there are zero barriers, dude.

We see old people, old people, riding bikes up the hills and I just feel really bad about myself, in comparison.

We find pockets of green space, sprawling hills with farms and cows, so many cows, cows everywhere and adorable cottages and I just keep wondering, “Oh my god what does one do here to occupy their time, especially with all of these insane hills and narrow roads to climb?”

Finally we reach Ebenalp and the cable car that will take us to the top of the mountain. All the way there we’ve been surrounded by tall crags and ranges of snow-peaked geo wonders. I can’t stop taking photos of them because this truly is the closest I’ve ever been to a real mountain. It’s 5,380 ft high and I wonder how on earth it’s possible for this cable car to bring us up so steeply and yet be so smooth and yet never just one day fall apart and crash.

We get to the top and realize we are sorely underdressed; I, in a thin sweater and a designer purse, Handsome Man in a long sleeve shirt and dress boots. Everyone else around us is wearing legit hiking gear — industrial boots, heavy coats, snow pants, bandanas. All of the things I read about Berggasthaus Aescher said it was an 15 minute hike to the guesthouse. I am winded in the first five minutes and I am walking down, not up.

At Berggasthaus Aescher, we realize it’s too late to buy food because the last cablecar leaves at 5:30pm, and if we miss it, we must hike all the way down, and who knows how long that’d take and what condition we’d be in by the end. We take some marvelous photos and retreat back where the steep climb has me stopping several points through to catch my breath. I see old women and little kids hiking and wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

I really liked Switzerland when we were there, it was this crazy place where everything was so expensive and no one looked like each other and the language, what even was it, and we paid $40 for pad thai at a takeout place, and Handsome Man got food poisoning because he didn’t cook his fondue meats well enough.

But what I can’t stop thinking about are those mountains, and valleys, where it’s just you and the land and the animals and the nature, and it’s so beyond beautiful and peaceful and you wonder how anything could ever be wrong there, and it’s not wrong there, it’s perfection.

[alicedoessurveys]

80 Questions

1. What was your favorite sweet as a child? never really been a fan of sweets, I was more into chocolate

2. Do you like to wear socks to bed? occasionally, if im very cold 

3. Do you own a lunch box? a couple yes, I bought myself some just before christmas when I was in a show so I could take dinner to the theatre 

4. How many coats do you own? two

5. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? twice

6. Do you keep spare change? I do have a piggy bank that I empty small change into because I hate when it bulks up my purse. the only change I keep in my purse in £1, £2, 50p, 20p and 10p coins

7. When was the last party you went to? after show party for the most recent show I helped out with last month 

8. Do you cook? sometimes yep, when I feel like it. I have to be in the right mood to cook a full on meal but I cook myself small lunches most days 

9. Are you cold at this very moment? im just right at the moment 

10. Do you know anyone in jail? nope

11. Have you ever dressed up? like in a costume? yeah quite a few times, especially since I joined the theatre. 

12. What color pen do you prefer, blue or black? blue

13. Are you afraid of snakes? not afraid of them no but they make my skin crawl and id rather not be around one 

14. Do you like scented candles? depends on the scent but mostly yes I love candles

15. Does your house have a white picket fence? nope

16. Do you watch the evening news? very rarely. I only tend to watch it when somethings happened like if theres been an attack or if someone well known has died

17. Whats your favorite berry? is a cherry classed a berry? 

18. Do you like to watch people? yes

19. Do you prefer to have a shower in the morning or at night? morning, I can never be bothered to blow dry my hair if I shower at night

20. Can you relate emotionally to some songs? yes

21. Who do you tell everything to? there is no one I tell everything to. but I tell my mom most things

22. Where is your mobile phone currently located? on the coffee table in front of me

23. Are you emotional? very

24. What was the last thing you said aloud? ‘no thank you im alright’ - im sat in the bar area at the theatre waiting or rehearsals and the guy who works behind the bar offered me some popcorn 

25. Did you have candles on your birthday cake? yes

26. How old are you? 22

27. Have you ever been bitten by anything? yes, my nans ferret bit and latched onto my nose when I was asleep on nans sofa when I was like 7 years old 

28. What DVD is currently in your DVD player? Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 2

29. Do you have curtains or blinds on your windows? blinds

30. Do you have a habit of talking fast? yes, especially if im excited or nervous 

31. Do you appreciate what you have? Im trying to be more appreciative 

32. Is it dark outside? not really, it got super dark like half an hour ago when it rained but its okay again now 

33. Are you responsible? I try to be

34. Do you think you could take care of another person? I do quite often

35. Ever had a pregnancy scare? nope

36. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? not that I dont talk about nope

37. Ever want to take things you’ve said back? yes

38. Do you smoke? No

39. Do you partake in gaming? I play sims and I play some ps3 games

40. Did your mother sing you a lullaby as a child? I dont remember 

41. Ever get mad at something that happened years ago? yes

42. What’s the kind of soda you drink most often? cherry coke 

43. Have you ever swallowed a piece of ice whole? no, I dont tend to have ice 

44. Who do you text the most? probably nick or rhys

45. Do your legs get really itchy after shaving them? every time 

46. Were you ever forced to read The Scarlet Letter in school? nope

47. Have you ever been called beautiful? Yes

48. Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? I hope too

49. Are you afraid of getting cheated on? a bit, but I dont really think about it because im not even in a relationship

50. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yes all my jeans are skinny jeans 

51. How are you feeling RIGHT now? tired

52. What (or who) would you really like to hold right now? no one really

53. And what would you like to let go of? overly dramatic people who dont care about me as much as I care about them

54. Sunrise or sunset: which did you see last? sunset

55. Did you ever collect any type of cards? (Baseball cards, etc.) when I was in school I collected yu-gi-oh cards but I only because so many of my friends did. I didn't actually understand them or what there purpose was :’)

56. Do you have any stickers or anything on your laptop? I have a sticker on my laptop that covers the whole back 

57. When was the last time you got a haircut? last July 

58. Where did you go to college? Or, where do/did you want to go? I went to 3 colleges, I went to Stratford upon Avon college for 2 years then I went to Warwickshire college for half a year and solihull college for a year

59. Can you lucid dream? nope

60. Have you learned to love your body yet? No

61. What was the last sport you watched on TV? the Winter Olympics 

62. When did you last get a sunburn and where was it? I dont remember, I rarely catch the sun

63. If you could drop any subject right now in school, it would be…? im not in school anymore

64. Can people usually tell if you’re sad? people who know me well can normally tell

65. Finish the sentence: I can eat a whole bag of… chocolate m&ms

66. Would you rather have curvy legs or skinny legs? skinny

67. How much fruit do you eat on a given day? most days none

68. When someone takes your picture, do you smile with mouth open or closed? open

69. Do you look presentable right now? I hope so, since I am not at home 

70. Have you ever had your ass grabbed? Yes while I was at a music festival and it was not okay

71. Do you post things on Facebook that are personal? I barely post on facebook anymore 

72. Do you ever listen to music that’s in a different language? yes. I used to be a Zumba instructor so I have a whole playlist of music I used to dance to that is majority foreign 

73. Is your bed made currently? half made

74. Do you feel safe riding in taxis by yourself? I barely use taxis, but when I do I use uber and that feels safe

75. Are you craving food/snacks of sort currently? Yeah.

76. Are you very interested in History? not like super interested, but I do like learning about it. especially about British kings and queens

77. Play any instruments? ukulele and a tiny bit piano 

78. Have you ever painted the walls of your room? Yes

79. When was the last time you tied your hair up? (if your hair is long enough) last night so I could wash my face

80. Ever wanted to learn a foreign language? Yes. I started learning Italian but kinda gave up and dont remember much of it now 

[saltynemo]

Break-Up

WHATADO Everybody its your boi Nemo back at it again with another fanfic. Noq today I'm gonna disappoint you and leave you with a cliff hanger. I made a Brendon Urie fluff awhile ago but life has been busy lately. Btw, small angst at the end (I'm Jena from the future: excuse writing errors and shit cause this is one of my first stories)

Summery: Y/n decides to fly out to Brendon to comfort him about the Break-Up he has recently went through. This gives him and Y/n quality time together and things start to spark, but not in the way you think

Type: Fluff/Angst

Warnings: Cussing, Small angst at end, Fluff, I think that's about it

Requested?: Kind of, Yea

Word Count: 3.4k (3,478 words)

PT.2

Now without further ado, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT

I have been friends with Brendon since 2nd grade. We do everything together! His family adores me and its like im Brendons sister. I was there with Brendon when he had his first Flirting experiance. I was there with him when he had his first Break-Up. I am almost always there for him and there is nothing separating us. Mostly, the only time were apart is when hes on tour or I have things to do. But this time, he is touring and playing his usual gigs and I decided not to tag along with him. I didnt decide to go this time because of his girlfriend, Audrey. She has always been such a snob to me and I just never liked her. The number one reason I didnt like her is because she abuses Brendon. Its just that Brendon loves her too much to even notice! I try to tell him, but he just keeps telling me the same thing over and over again, "Shes just annoying me with her love and affection" And I keep replying with the same answer over and over again, "Shes abusing you and your money!" After a while, I gave up...Brendon loved her and Audrey didnt so much love him.

I woke up to the sound of a vibration next to my head. I lazily turn over and answer my phone in a groggy voice, "Hello..?" I heard sobbing on the other line, and I could tell it was Brendons. "Brendon, are you ok? What happened? Its..3 am" "S-he bro-ke up wi-th me.." Brendon stuttered. He was histerical. I tried to calm him down by telling him im here for him and such, but most of it didnt work. "Damn, i wish I could be there to give you a hug! You sound horrible" I say, on the verge of tears myself. "Y-yeah i wish too. Why d-o i d-do this to myself?! Am i t-too nice?" Brendon sobs. I tell him that hes too caring for some of these woman and to take a break. We talk back and forth about what happened and how we can resolve it. "Its 3 am Y/n..ill let you go. Ill just cry myself to sleep.." Brendon sniffled. We both say goodnight and I dial Josh's number. "Hey Josh?" "Yea, Y/n?" "Did you hear from Brendon yet..? Im kind of worried for him" I ask, pacing around my room. "Yea, i heard him talking on the phone with someone about his ex. Was that you?" Josh replies. "Yea, that was me. Also, how do you know he broke up with Audrey?" "Oh yea! I went on tour with him, just to tag along. Since im still on my haitus I thought i would give him some company" He says. "How long have they been broken up? Did it just happen?" I say, raising my voice a little. Josh starts to tell me the long story of how Brendon and Audrey broke up. It was pretty violent from my perspective. I hear sobbing in the backround as Josh went on with his story. "Wait, im gonna go outside..i feel like im destroying Brendon by telling you the story" Josh says, moving away from Brendons hysterical voice. "Brendons pretty..heart broken. Like is there any way you can calm him down? Your the only person I know who is that close to Brendon" "I tried! But i dont think I can do it over the phone, you know what I mean" I reply, leaning my head on my hand. "Is there any way you can like..come down here?" Josh asks. I can hear him pacing around outside. "I dont have the money ya know..im living in an apartment" I say, laughing a little bit. Josh chuckles but cuts out his laugh mid way. "I can PayPal your flight! Like-please come over here? Brendons destroyed..do it for him" "Ugh! Fine..Ill have to order the Tickets right now then. Send me your PayPal info and ill get packed" I sigh. "Sweet, Y/n!! I knew you would do it" "But ill need a ride..Can you do it?" "I dont think so..ill ask Tyler or Patrick. Both of them love you so it wont be a problem" He replies. I lay back on my bed, phone still next to my ear, "Welp, ok! Cya then. And dont tell Brendon about this..I want it to be a suprise" I say, smiling uncontrollably. "You gotcha. Cya then" Josh says. I could tell him winked by his tone. We said our goodbyes and I put my phone down. I sighed very loudly, almost thinking my neighbors could hear me. I sit back up and limp over to my Computer

Josh sent me his PayPal info and I bought the plane tickets. The plane was scheduled to leave at 3:00 pm tommorow. I closed my laptop and jogged over to my closet, packing up so I wont have to do it later. I didnt think much on what I should bring, but I threw in a couple outfits, toothbrush, hairbrush, and some headphones all into one SuitCase. I zip it up and put it to the side. Its now 4:00 am. I should get some rest..since I got lots of planning to do. I crawl back into bed, trying to put my worries about Brendon and my schedule aside.

*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Brendon's High notes*

Its 1:30 pm..I called a Taxi so I can get driven to the Airport. Josh texted me telling me that Petes going to pick me up. Im always excited to see Pete and..pretty much all of my Friends, so i was excited. Once we got to the airport, I payed the Taxi driver and headed for the long journey of ID Checking and security. Once I hit my first checkpoint, I put my bag on a conveirbelt and show them my Passport and ID. They aprove it and I grabbed my stuff. I found a very comfy bench near the Exit to where my plane is. I sit and wait forever, untill they finally call my plane. "Plane 3A!! All abourd 3A!" The flight attendant shouts. I pick my stuff up and head twords the door. I show her my plane ticket and I head to the back of the plane

The plane ride was quiet and peacefull to my suprise. No crying children, no kids kicking the back of your seat, and no rude or distracting people! I put my headphones on and put my music on shuffle. The very first song to come on was 'Dont Threaten Me With a Good Time'. I smiled brightly and tapped my foot to the beat as the plane flew through piles of clouds. I knew this was going to be a fun trip.

The seatbelt light flashed aboved my misty eyes. I packed up my things and secured my seat belt. I have always hated the landing of a plane, it just uneased me. The plane decended to the ground and skirted to a hualt. All of the passengers, including me, exited the plane through the door and a tunnel. Once I reached the end of the long corrador, I saw Pete! "Hey Petie!" I cheered, giving him a quick hug. "So nice to see you, Y/n!" "Hows Brendon?" I asked, pulling away from the hug. "Oh, about him, Hes...still depressed. I took a picture of him about 30 minutes ago" Pete exclaimed, showing me a photo of Brendon's head down, his arms hiding his face. He was in a position as if he were playing 'Heads Up Seven Up'. "Aw man...sucks" I say, itching the back of my neck. "How about we go suprise him now?" Pete said adding a cute smile. I smiled with him and we walked out of the airport.

Once we reached petes car, I threw my bag into the back seat and hopped into the passanger chair. "How about we play some music so we dont have an akward car ride" Pete said as he sat down in his drivers seat. "Sounds great, give me the aux chord" I demanded as i smiled a little bit. "Just dont play trash! You got it?" "Yea yea, I wont" I said, trying not to laugh. I typed into Youtube: "Josh says Penis Sized Nipples for 10 Minutes". I tried my best not to laugh hystericly, but i let out a small giggle. I plugg in the aux chord and I turn the 'music' all the way up. "Penis sized nipples, penis sized nipples, penis sized nipples" blasted in the car. I couldnt hold it in any longer and I bursted out laughing. Pete joined with me and was hystericly crying while trying to drive. I was about to change it when Pete stopped me: "Keep it on, and roll the window down!" He yelled through the 'penis sized nipples', echoing in the car. I rolled down the window and pretended to dance to it. We both laughed and drove to our destination, laughing all the way.

Once we reached the building where Brendon and our friends were, I turned off Joshs voice and put my phone in my pocket. "Here ya go" Pete said, swinging my bag over my shoulder. I wasnt expecting that so i crippled a little bit. "Sorry" Pete laughed. I smiled a bit and began walking to the front door. I reached my hand out to open it when Pete held my wrist, stopping me. "Before you go in there...just know Brendons sensitive right now..do your best to help him, he is seriously depressed." Pete said lowly. "I understand, now let me talk to him" I whisper back. Pete let go of my wrist and opened the door for me. I stepped inside to see all of my friends..especially Brendon. Josh, Tyler, Patrick, Joe, Andy, and all of the important folks were here. I waved to all of them and pressed my finger againts my lips. They all nodded and smiled, watching me creep up to Brendon. He was still in the same exact position from an Hour ago. I saw an empty glass of whisky by his side with a mountain of tissues. I dropped my bag besides a wall and leaned my mouth to his exposed ear. "Im always here for you Buddy" I whisper in his ear, putting my hands on his shoulders. He quickly lifts his head up, exposing his red & stuffy nose. His eyes were puffy and red from all of his crying. "Y/n" He asked in a suprised tone. He quickly rapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him tightly, softly rubbing his back in the process. "Im so glad your here with me Y/n..ive missed you so much" He whispered, holding me tighter. His chest was warm and I never wanted to leave this position. "Ive missed you too, Brendon" I reply, lightly pushing him away. Brendon let go of me and gave me a bright smile through his depressed state. I smiled with him, knowing ill make him feel better.

We stared at eachother for a little while, enjoying our facial features and what not. Finally, Brendon snapped out of it. "Im gonna go clean the-uh-tissues up" He said, walking away to the mountain of tissues. "I knew you could do it" Josh whispered in my ear. I glanced at him, "I didnt expect him to feel better that fast, wow" "What would he do without you" Josh added, smiling and walking away. I found a chair to sit on as I watched Brendon joke and play with his friends. I leaned my head on my hand, day dreaming. "Hey, Y/n/n" Said a blissful voice. I turn my head to see Patrick. "Oh, hey Pat" I said, making room for him. "You really did wonders for this guy, ya know?" Patrick said, adjusting his sitting position. "Yea..I guess I did" I paused thinking of a question. "Speaking of Brendon...when did Audrey and Brendon break up?" I asked, turning my head to face him. I saw Patricks jaw clench at my question. "You know how Brendon called you?" I nodded in response. "He called you right after they broke up. Audrey stormed out of here and i dont know where she is. I hope she doesnt come back" Patrick added, folding his hands and looking down. "I really do hope so too" "But look at the bright side, Brendons bank account wont be empty" Patrick said, laughing a little. I laughed too, relizing he was right. I looked at my watch: 7:10. "Shouldnt Brendon be getting ready for his Meet&Greet with fans?" I asked Pat. "Oh, shit. Your right. Hey Brendon: Meet and Greets at 7:30!" Patrick shouted, getting up from his chair. He shot me a quick wink before walking over to Brendon. I smiled and got up, grabbing Brendons phone from a bench. "Here Bren, I think you might need this" I say, jogging over to him. He smiles and takes it, "Thanks, honey" He winks as he walks back to a table. The nickname he gave me cought me off guard, making me stand still. Tyler patted my back, making me come back to relization. He laughes as he follows Brendon.

I grab the Millions of pens lying on the floor and follow them. I set them on the Meet&Greet table and Sat in a Chair. I grabbed a hard, wooden surface, incase I had to sign things too. Brendon's fanbase loved me, even though I really wasnt that popular. "Y/n, you can sit at the table, I dont bite" Brendon calls, offering me a seat. I smile and sit next to Brendon. I thank him for the offer and we wait for the millions of fans to enter. I glance around the room, looking at Tyler, Josh, Patrick, and the security guards. I saw Andy and Joe, leaning againts the wall on their phones. "Here they come" Brendon whispers into my ear. I grin as I see fan girls come around the corner, with million doller smiles on their faces. The security guards step up, making sure the girls dont attack us. Suprisingly, the fan girls behaved very well. No cluttering or fighting or anything.

After about 30 minutes of watching Brendon sign papers, a girl comes up to me. She has brown, curly hair with freckles. She looked very sweet. "Arnt you Brendons close friend?" She asks, holding a binder closley to her chest. "Yea, I am. How did you know?" "Oh, I mean he posts about you all the time! Im suprised no one reconized you yet" She adds, placing the binder on the table. "Do you mind if you can sign my binder?" "Of course not! And whats your name" I reply, grinning as i sign my name onto the front cover of her binder. "Its Scarlett" She replies, smiling uncontrolably. "Thats a pretty name. Here ya go!" I complimented her. Scarlett smiles from ear to ear and takes her binder back. "Thank you so much!" She says, skipping away back to her friends. I smiled at her as I continued to watch Brendon. "I guess you got a fan" He whispers in my ear. For some reason, that sent chills down my back, making me jump a little. "Your jumpy today" He whispers again, handing a girl back her paper. I bite my lip and grin at him. He smiles and we both put our attentions back to the fangirls.

*TIME SKIP brought to you by Brendons body*

"Ok! Meet&Greet is over! Exit the room please!" The security guard yells. The room is filled with fangirls groaning and leaving the room. "Y/n..my hand hurts like crazy" Brendon groans, holding his hand. "I only signed a couple, so i guess im just lucky" I chuckle, placing my hand over Brendons, massaging it. He groans, smiling a little bit. I rub his hand as I hear snickering in the room. I ignore it and I continue to rub his hand. "Thanks Y/n. I dont know what I would do without you." Brendon says, smiling at me. I take my hand away from his and grin back. "Come on love birds, lets go watch Netflix!" Josh yells to us as he jogs to the cough. I laugh at his comment and get up, following Josh. Tyler, Andy, Pete and Joe were all sitting on the cough together, while Patrick is making popcorn. "Move, Im gay" I say, sitting on the couch. They laugh as they all scootch down. "Nice Brandon Rodgers referance" Andy comments. I laugh in response and Patrick sits on the carpet infront of us. "Get some popcorn before my fat ass eats it all" He says, holding up the popcorn bag for everyone to get. I took a hand full and stuffed it in my mouth. I feel a kernal of popcorn fall from my mouth and down onto my lap. I went to pick it up when suddenly, I see Brendons hand snatch it. "Hey! I was gonna eat that" I say, lightly pushing him. He laughs as he stuffs it in his mouth. He sits directly infront of me on the floor, along with Pat. "What are we watching?" Josh asks, scrolling through movies. "Fight Club" We all yell in harmony. Josh laughs as he hits the 'Select' button for Fight Club. We all seddle down and watch the movie.

After about an hour into the movie, I hear a knock at the door. "Ill go get it.." Pete groans, getting up from the couch and slowly jogging to the door. I put my attention back to the screen, when all of the sudden I hear Pete raise his voice. "Audrey?! What are you doing here?" Pete asks. I quickly turn my head to the door. I really didnt wanna go see her or even move. I cover Brendons ears, knowing the name will hurt him. "Im fine Y/n" He laughs, holding my hand. I smile and I take my hand away. "Brendon doesnt want to see you! You hurt him pretty bad" Pete yells once more. "Ill go see whats going on" Patrick says as he puts the popcorn bag down and walks twords the front door. I keep staring at the conversation, wondering what Audrey wanted. "Move, Emo boy! Let me see Brendon" Audrey shouts, trying to shove Pete out of the way. "Darling, Im not budging. Its best if you leave" Pete scoffs, closing the door. Before the door can fully shut, I hear a thud. I quickly get up and walk twords the door. I see Pete holding his crotch as he backed away from the door. "Audrey! What the Fuck! Leave right now, before I make you!" Patrick yells, pointing to the door. "What the hell is going on!" Brendon yells, stomping twords the door. "Oh..Hi Brendon!" She cheers. I stay in my standing position while i watch the battle set sail.

"What are you doing here?" Brendon asks. "I came here to see if I left my bra here" She said with a smirk. "Do you really think I still have your slutty bra?" Brendon says, walking infront of me. "Well, you must know what it looks like. We have had amazing sex before" Audrey comments sarcasticly. I feel my face burn with anger and embarissment. He stays quiet. "Cant you just leave? Were trying to watch fight club!" Josh, Tyler, Andy, and Joe all say from the couch. I snicker at the remark, but turn back to Audrey. "Well, if you dont know what it looks like, it looks like this" Audrey says, unbuttoning her shirt quickly and exposing her lingera bra. Patrick and Pete turn away from her and face the wall. Brendon is too angry at her to even look away. "Its best if you leave right now!" Brendon says, rasing his voice. "Oh cmon baby..I know you still want me..dont fight it" Audrey says, stepping twords Brendon. I push Audrey and get between her and Brendon. "Move away, slut" She scoffs, pushing me away with all of her might. I was strong, with no doubt, but I wasnt expecting this force. I was pushed back into the wall, my head hitting the wood hard. "Audrey! This need to stop, you should le-" Brendon begins to say, before being interuppted by Audreys lips. He tried to back away but she kept moving into the kiss. I felt my face burn with anger. Everything was happening in slow motion. I ball up my fists, trying to contain my anger. "What would I do without you" echoded through my brain. My face begins to scrutnch up and my eyes are blurred with tears.

(I put the cliffhanger so that you will beg me for more...unless I wrote a terrible fanfic. But whatever. I hope you enjoyed it and cya next time or somethin. Like for more!)

[lisboy]

@x3carlyx3 thank you for tagging me hehe (i’m super late oops)

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better : @planetyardium @goldenvarnish @button-button-button @no2da @livinka-n-diland @bibliophilesbian @mononoke-maiden and uuh anyone who wants to (dw if you don’t want to do it, it’s cool ! 👍🏻) 

2nd RULE: BOLD the statements that are true ((commentary in double parentheses))

APPEARANCE: · I am 5'7"(~170 cm) or taller · I wear glasses {or contacts} · I have at least one tattoo · I have at least one piercing  · I have blonde hair · I have brown eyes · I have short hair · My abs are at least somewhat defined · I have or had had braces

PERSONALITY: · I love meeting new people ((it depends i guess. sometimes i love it, sometimes i kind of hate it until i’m used to them ; idk) · People tell me that I’m funny (or at least that my behaviors are funny) ((people usually tell me i’m weird, probably because i do dumb shit like sitting on the floor or wear funny clothes ; but really i’m not)) · Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me · I enjoy physical challenges · I enjoy mental challenges · I’m playfully rude with people I know well · I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it · There is something I would change about my personality ((i think too much about the past, i can’t seem to forget mildly embarrassing stuff i did like 8 years ago and it still makes me cringe, guh))

ABILITY: · I can sing well · I can play an instrument  · I can do over 30 pushups without stopping · I’m a fast runner · I can draw well · I have a good memory · I’m good at doing math in my head · I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute · I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling · I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch · I know how to throw a proper punch ((ooh id love to know how to punch...)

HOBBIES: · I enjoy playing sports ((ive always been bad at sports and i overheat so fast i can’t really play anything without becoming so red i can feel my skin burn lol. But i kind of like stuff such as badminton or long jump, even though i suck at it. It can be pretty fun though !) · I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else · I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else ·I have learned a new song in the past week · I work out at least once a week ·I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months  · I have drawn something in the past month · I enjoy writing · fandoms are my #1 passion  · I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES: · I have had my first kiss  · I have had alcohol ((i mean i don’t drink because alcohol is disgusting, but i know what it tastes like) · I have scored the winning goal in a sports game · I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting · I have been at an overnight event · I have been in a taxi · I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year · I have beaten a video game in one day · I have visited another country · I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts ((i’m really not fond of concerts but i went to see mitski last year. There were too many people, the volume was way too high for me and it was sooo hot even tho it was only february, but i enjoyed the music i guess. It made me realize no matter what the concert is i won’t 100% enjoy it :/ ))

MY LIFE: · I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” ((i am full of love for my friends !!) · I live close to my school · My parents are still together · I have at least one sibling ((my little sisters art blog is @planetyard-art you should check it out !)) · I live in the United States · There is snow right now where I live ((i WISH)) · I have hung out with a friend in the past month · I have a smartphone ((i technically own a very very old smartphone, but it’s so old and broken i can’t even write texts anymore. I need to change but phones are expensive and addictive hmm) · I have at least 15 CDs · I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: · I’m in a relationship · I have a crush on a celebrity · I have a crush on someone I know · I have been in at least 3 relationships · I have never been in a relationship (my romantic life is nonexistent lol but i dont rlly care) · I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them · I get crushes easily ((ive had like 3 crushes in my entire life tbh, it’s almost funny))· I had a crush on someone for over a year · I have been in a relationship for at least a year · I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM SHIT: · I have breakdanced · I know a person named Jamie · I have had a teacher with the last name that’s hard to pronounce · I have dyed my hair · I’m listening to one song on repeat right now · I have punched someone in the past week · I know someone who has gone to jail · I have broken a bone · I have eaten a waffle today · I know what I want to do with my life · I speak at least 2 languages (i know french & english, i used to be good at spanish but i havent spoken it in almost 4 years ! i still understand it fairly well though. And i kinda..... know a bit of japanese........ but even after 5 years of official academic studies i'd be unable to speak to someone for more than 10 mns ive got so little confidence when it comes to japanese) · I have made a new friend in the past year (hmm.. ive talked to many new people but i don’t really consider them friends. They’re nice and all but we don’t hang out outisde of class so we’re not close, which is a shame !)