#ichi the killer imagine

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Idk if you still do Ichi the Killer requests but 😭 if you do movie Kakihara x injured reader? Ichi gets to reader and injures them if that makes sense? I like angst and I love your writing ! Keep up the amazing work!

I've gotchu sis <3

The city streets were dimly lit, the neon signs casting a sickly glow over the alleys. It was a night like any other in the depraved city where the law was Yakuza, where shadows hid unspeakable deeds. Kakihara Masao, the S&M freak of the Anjo gang, had been out dealing with a rival gang, as per usual. Few things could get a kick out of him, and finding new ways to torture traitors to death was one of them.

As he returned to his new home - The traditional villa which belonged to his wife, the daughter of their ally gang's boss, he felt a nagging unease. Something was off, but he couldn't tell why.

Ever since he left the house that day, with a departing kiss as was the daily routine, he had a gnawing feeling eating away at his brain, sinking his heart with worry.

He cared little what happened to him, or to anyone else - The only thing that mattered in his life anymore was to keep his beloved angel happy - And very much alive. She was a fantastic businesswoman, and the gang's designated medic, owning a whole chains of successful private hospitals - Which only put a huge target on her head. How could she sleep at night so peacefully Kakihara could never understand.

Was it her unshakeable trust in him, the husband her father wanted so desperately to tie to her? Her childhood crush, her teenage craze, her adult soulmate? Or was it the numerous bodyguards patrolling the house perimeter in a 200m radius in all directions at any given moment?

This girl was more guarded than the Emperor or the president, and yet...

Pushing the door open, he was greeted by an eerie silence, not by his wife's dolcetto voice, her warm embrace and sweet kiss. His heart pounded in his chest as he called out for his angel, but there was no response. The house was dark, and a sense of dread washed over him. He flicked on the lights and froze. The scene before him was a nightmare he's had many times before. The result of his failure.

Y/N lay on the floor, blood pooling around her. Her body was covered in slashes, the unmistakable work of that psychopath bastard, Ichi. Tears of pain stained her porcelain cheeks and her face was twisted in a petrified expression. Even unconscious, she was terrified and in pain.

Y/N hated pain. She was as vanilla as could be; Masao could never understand her; How she'd cry from the littlest amount of pain, when his euphoria came from a place of excruciating agony. A princess, she was an angel, of course she'd be delicate like a fragile little snowdrop, whilst he's a demon, a vulgar devil, corrupting and tainting the Heavens around her.

Kakihara's mind raced as he rushed to her side, dropping to his knees. She was still alive, but barely. Her breathing was shallow, and her eyes fluttered open when she felt his presence.

"Masa..." she whispered, her voice weak and trembling. "Ichi is looking for you."

He gently cradled her in his arms, his usually apathetic scarred visage contorted with guilt and rage. "Stay with me, angel. I’ve gotchu. Just hold on."

Kakihara wasted no time, carefully lifting her in his arms, bridal style just like he loved - Just like on their wedding - Yet now, she looked like a broken doll; His heart was breaking at the sight of her injuries. Once outside of the house, he yelled at the useless bodyguards who allowed this mess to happen - None of them saw or even heard anything. That bastard was too good.

Ironically, they drove to her own hospital which was nearby, though the road felt eternal and every second that ticked by was filled with the fear that he might lose her.

The doctors quickly took her in for emergency surgery, and Kakihara was staring after her as she was swiftly rolled on the bed, to the sterilised room; His mind was a storm of fury and worry. He couldn't stay there, not while Ichi was still out there. His blood boiled with wrath, a primal need for vengeance driving him.

"Princess L/N is in critical condition, but she will make a full recovery." the head doctor informed Kakihara. "She will need to take it easy and rest at home - No effort whatsoever - And for a while, some assistance." the old man continued; He looked left and right, then spoke in a hushed tone. "Was it that son of a bitch, Ichi?" Masao grunted affirmatively.

"Not for long." he sneered under his breath. "I'll be back." his voice was cold and steely.

With that, he left on his hunt to rip that fuckass apart, his mind singularly focused on one thing: finding Ichi and making him pay for every little scratch on her skin, for every second of agony, and for every nightmare she'll have from then on.

He reached out to his contacts, scoured the streets, and left no stone unturned. The hunt was relentless, driven by his love and desire to protect the only sun ray in his bleak, dark world, the burning hatred for the man who had hurt her. No living being was allowed to approach her with any mal intent, let alone actually commit such a vicious act against an angel. That fucker will rot.

He hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, hadn't drunk until he found him, but finally after so long, in the dead of night, Kakihara cornered Ichi in a dilapidated warehouse. The killer stood there, his face twisted in a sickening grin, clearly enjoying the chaos he had caused - Yet at the same time, his visage was twisted in a troubled look; This bitch was fucked in the head, he was out of his mind. His brain wasn't wired properly, even by Masao's standards.

Kakihara wasted no time. "You little fuckass!" he roared, his voice echoing through the empty space. "You dared to touch her! My angel! You took the one reason I had to stay alive!"

Ichi barely had time to react before Kakihara launched himself at him. The fight was brutal, both men driven by their own wicked desires and madness. Masao's rage gave him an edge. He didn't hold back, inflicting as much pain as he could, relishing in every scream that tore from Ichi's throat. That bastard couldn't even raise that sickle leg of his to slice him off - What a pussy ass cunt. He dared mess with his angel, without thinking of the hell he will receive back.

Ichi was easily subdued, bloodied and broken. Kakihara stood over him, his eyes wild with fury. "Look into my eyes and despair, you fucking freak." he snarled, before delivering the final blow. The life drained from Ichi's eyes, and Kakihara felt a grim satisfaction wash over him. "I love overkill."

He stood there, watching all the blood drain from his pathetic body, kicking it every once in a whole, hoping to vent out his remaining rage before he appeared before his sweet girl. There was only one place he needed to be, and that was by his angel's side.

Covered in blood, he returned to the hospital - Thankfully, one of her bodyguards had a spare shit for him to change in; He couldn't possibly embrace an angel while he was painted red with her assailant's filthy blood.

The doctors informed him that Y/N was awake and stable, but still exhausted. He entered her room quietly, his heart aching at the sight of her frail, broken form, leaning down on that white bed, wrapped in white sheets. White looked good at her, but colours were her favourite. The hospital room was too lame for her.

"Y/N." he whispered, sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, taking her hands in his and kissing her fingers. "Fucker's dead, and my arms are all yours to sleep in, angel." he said, laying down and gathering her carefully in his embrace. "No one's ever gonna dare mess around with my girl." he kissed the top of her head.

She opened her eyes, tears welling up as she looked at him. "Masa..." her eyes were gleaming with pure love and admiration. "You're my guardian hero."

He gently cradled her in his arms, nestling her like a little kitten in his clothes, holding her close and whispering soothing words. "I'm here, angel. I'm always here. I won't let anything happen to you ever again. I promise."

Kakihara felt a sense of peace; He had avenged his wife, rid the world of a useless scum, and now, all that mattered was Y/N's recovery. He would stay by her side, protect her, and ensure that no harm ever came to her again. In that moment, as he held her, he knew that no matter the darkness of their world, he will remain alive, to protect her from the evil surrounding her eden.

[transangledlozengeggbutt]

[kdnss77]

Ichi the Killer/Koroshiya Ichi (2001)

basic info: written by Sakichi Sato and directed by Takashi Miike (also known for his directory role in "Audition"). this yakuza themed and - therefore - quite thuggishly harsh movie is loosely based on a manga series by Hideo Yamamoto under the same title.

overall ratings: imdb: 7/10 rotten tomatoes: 65% letterboxd: 3,6/5

plot summary: Anjo, a chief of a fearsome yakuza clan is revealed to have allegedly left his subordinates behind In order to intangibly levant with a young girl into unknown, along with all the money that had belonged to the gang. however, it turns out that the leader of the lawless group mentioned has been assassinated by an individual called Ichi - a man imagined to be completely ruthless in his doings, who reduces his targets into splatters of bloody intestines. even though Kakihara - a sado-masochistic member of the Anjo group of suspiciously uncanny persona - isn't aware that the questionable disappearance of his executive had been a well crafted setup, initiated by a man (Jiji) aiming for enflaming the ties between clans in the district, he still sets off for a blind pursuit after the infamous brutal killer. as the events unfold, their paths are gradually heading towards an eventual crossing - Kakihara unjustifiably torturing his clan allies or potential leads, additionally pleasuring the pain his cruelty causes them and Ichi being severely manipulated by Jiji (with, among others, a story about him witnessing his bullies rape a girl who tried to help him, which inappropriately turns him on) so that the superficially harmless man would become homicidal and assassinate more shady individuals. when a sudden and tense confrontation occurs, its outcomes turn out rather ambiguous - Kakihara dies, having fallen of the rooftop, Ichi's further precise whereabouts remain unknown (or he's probably dead) and Jiji is revealed to hang himself on a tree branch years later (where, at the very end of the movie, we witness a focus on a certain young man, resembling Takeshi - the son of Kaneko, a former policeman, who had presumably beaten Ichi to death on that rooftop; it's nothing but a speculation of mine though).

my thoughts: it's undeniable that violence in its most apparent revulsion is the highlight of the movie. and it's also something i'd like to start with, partly to the conclusion on the subject of frivolousness, to which i'll dome down to later. the characters are acting in absolute lawlessness. putting their criminal involvement aside, obviously. there's so much awry carelessness and freedom in Kakihara callously racking his victims in various, internally-cringing ways, casually cutting the tip of his tongue, so as to guarantee penance for his clan allies or letting his opponent deal him heavy punches as if they were having a walk in the park (which are, by the way, aspects consisting in a more complex picture of his character. i'll eventually get to this though). sickening and disturbing as it may seem, the way brutality of various kinds is portrayed in the movie is just as grotesque at the same time. taking the scene in which Kakihara enthralls Suzuki by hanging him on a great set of metal hooks by his skin tissue for an example - the gang member, prior to sticking hazardously sharp spikes into his mouth or pouring red-hot oil on him, casually proceeds to fry tempura. it's also apparent in the one where Kakihara unlocks the cuts in his face and after accepting a blow, the guy's hand remains stuck in his unnaturally wide-open mouth and is stripped from its flesh by Kakihara's teeth. ridiculous, yet terrifying - this man's actions seem unpunished and entertaining, both on the same level. a similar, yet more bleak tone refers to Ichi - even though he's top-down controlled, or rather conveniently manipulated by Jiji to his own benefits, he seems to acknowledge no consequences of his actions too. just as if time didn't exist and the protagonists, with all the depraved things connected to them, congealed in their own, individual miseries. i don't think it would be completely wrong to name it a substance of freedom - even though the character's connotations are far from positive. what i'm trying to convey, is that the movie could define a similar sense of complacent unpredictability that we do lack nowadays. i'll always look back on it in that liberatory type of manner, at least thats the feeling it has left me with in the end. what's more to it, there's no hope for it to last forever. both Ichi and Kakihara get a profound taste of that in the latter matter.

that lets me move onto their individual characteristics: Kakihara, although he is featured in most of the movie posters, isn't factually the titular Ichi. in reality (around half an hour into the film) it is revealed that the almost legendary killer is the one he's after - Ichi, that is, was namely ordered to assassinate his boss and equally the only person able to assure him an efficient amount of violent experiences, Anjo. however, in the meantime of fruitless searches for his target, Kakihara starts developing a faint fascination with Ichi - mostly to his attraction to his murderous skills and the brutality with which he deals with his victims. it's crucial to understand, that the man in this funky, alligator-skin suit and with questionable scars all over his face is in love with pain. he's passionate with it and unsatisfied with any unauthentic indications of it (just as in the scene, where a guy tried to escape both the corrupted policemen and him. Kakihara allows him to attack him with bare hands, which he finds disgraceful to the value of violence itself, saying his punches lack any sort of passion. it's not only a source of sado-masochistic pleasure for him, but also something almost sacred). however, ever since his chief and probably the most primal origin of gratification to it has been gone, that void of disappointment with his surroundings and lack of appropriate incentives prompts to morph into a frantic pursuit after something just as exciting. therefore, Kakihara starts viewing Ichi as his chance for ultimate fulfillment, probably resulting in an equally ultimate matter - death from his hands. that is, pain in general - both the one he is granted with and the doings he undertakes to hurt others - is his only reason to carry on in life. otherwise it's senseless and boring.

Ichi does add to that unfortunate perception as well. he seems to be extremely prone to being carried away by his emotions, caused by the aftermath of manipulations and fake scenarios Jiji had rooted in his consciousness. superficially, he appears as a rather assailable and overall a rather peaceful guy, but when confronted with his illusionary past, he becomes homicidal and prone to killing ruthlessly. it seems like an inevitable way of his for dealing those unsolved, mental issues and at the same time, an impulse he personally loathes. he's hesitant in the face of his doings - on the one hand, he is driven by inner hatred towards imaginary events, regarding which he was powerless, those pushing him towards agreeing for further assassinations, and on the contrary, he strongly wishes to stop murdering. this internal battle he's tackling makes him mentally riven and unfit for logical, reasonable thinking. i really enjoyed the almost psychedelic, vhs tape-like shots, especially in the moments of his post-murder breakdowns. that also brings to my mind a concept of him being just like a registered record - particularly programmed for violence (hmm..."Videodrome" reference?). nothing but an ideal toll for Jiji to pursue his motifs. it's not enough to pity him, though - an apparent psychological fault doesn't justify his horrendous actions; that is, Ichi is also an exceptional pervert, enjoying sexual contacts with vulnerable women and getting aroused at the thought of rape-related imaginary. just the same as Kakihara, he descents into the shallow of his own misery - defeated by lies he was lead on with and completely hopeless, left with heartbroken, child-like cries. Kakihara, utterly upset by yet another dissatisfactory outcome of his pain-seeking hunt, decides on taking his own life by falling of the rooftop banister (however, he does experience a hallucination on a different turn of events - he first observes Ichi decapitating a child (Takeshi), then charging him and subsequently he receives a blade straight into his forehead. so it's only half a win for him). i interpret the scene after this sequence, where he's sitting in the corner of a dull room, filled with chains freely hanging from the ceiling, a depiction of hell for him personally - no pain to feel and to make others feel. there's just offed peace, so unbearable in this fringe comparison. apart from my take on the ending, it remains objectively unclear and inconclusive - it's rather to be open and speculated about, depending on the light a viewer sees the characters in.

my rating: 4/5

favorite quote: "There's no love in your violence."

the images were found by me on the internet, credits to their original uploaders.

[parola-di-winx]

Every country has its own shortcomings. But in Arab countries there is not even a concept of transgender

speaking of takashi miike he made my favorite movie of the year. as in a movie from 2001 that i finally watched last year and it was my favorite thing i'd watched all year. ichi the killer. it's SO GOOOOD i have no words for how good it is and how much i love it. it's so corny and insane and stupid and perfectly 2001 core. like i hate cgi blood normally but they really made the MOST of it by being absolutely ridiculous and have it spray everywhere lmao. the plot is like relatively simple but the characters are so insane they make everything stupidly convoluted. the main characters are the titular ichi and kakihara who's on all the movie posters and also my blorbo. basically ichi is a super strong and capable assassin being manipulated by some old man (played by the director of tetsuo: the iron man LIKE ISN'T THAT INSANE!!!) into killing members of the fucking yakuza. while kakihara is one of said members who had a bdsm type of relationship with his boss who disappeared and he's now desperately looking for him. of course it was ichi who killed said boss and kakihara is also on his list so their paths are bound to cross and they're really stupid abt it. the thing is that kakihara wants to find his boss so bad bc he was the only person who made kakihara feel fear and he was addicted to it romantically. BUT once he sees the type of bloodshed ichi is capable of he forgets the boss and becomes obsessed w ichi and can't wait to meet him so he can be Scared again. BUT ichi is a fucking crybaby so once they meet nothing really happens and kakihara is so disappointed that he just jumps off a building. but as he falls to his death he Imagines that it was ichi to push him off so he dies w a smile. it's such an insane movie i love it so much i need to rewatch it it's been too long

[cwarscars]

Hey bro i heard you like 🔥 so c'maaan gimmie your salt maaaan

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

(( gonna preface this by saying - if any of my moot moots are one side or the other, or consider themselves such - i got no beef with you. you're my homies, my real ones, my ride or dies; im open-minded to hearing your opinions. jus' dont send me any anon nastiness, ill cry REAL tears ))

honestly? i can't stand the black and white thinking in the rpc & fanfic communities as a whole. the whole pro-shipper/anti-shipper debate is extremely tiresome to apparently anyone who believes in nuance & grey situations.

like, on one side - you have people who will and do persecute people for the fucked up ships that they write. on the other, you have people who preach fiction is fiction and will willingly ignore the genuinly problematic people who take advantage of the notion of 'pro-shipping' in order to write their extreme fetishes ( ala, pedophilia / beastiality ).

i have always been anti-censorship. i always will be. i watch extreme cinema and read extreme manga / comics. nothing phases me. there are films that disturb me ( salo will /always/ make my uncomfy ) and obviously things i wont touch with a ten foot barge pole ( anything with kids / animals ) but for the most part, i'm very chill when it comes to what people want to write. i believe people should be honest about their kinks, preferences and things they wish to write.

if your partner is willing, it's consensual and tagged or under a read more. i have zero issues with it. but -

i have gotten sent hate before from 'pro-shippers' for stating my stance on anybody who wants to write smut with kids. literal hate for stating i'm against pedophilia. ( and im not talking about a 17 yr old being sexually active, im talking, like - literal children being sexualised ) like, what? i've been called purity police and all kinds of shit. like, me? purity police???? the bitch whose favourite comic is crossed and favourite manga, ichi the killer. LOL

my whole issue with the debate and the censorship / arguments in the rpc is that, it feels as though you HAVE to be one side or the other. you can't have a nuanced opinion, you can't understand that sometimes - there is a place for certain content, despite how extreme it is.

everybody is allowed a preference. you're allowed to be upset, offended, afraid, disgusted by or whatever else from x subject. every single individual is different and it's what makes us all beautiful. and i feel people need to really understand this. you can write extreme content but don't expect people to like it. on the other hand, if you don't like x content - don't attack someone for writing that content.

i just feel that there's wrong on both sides and i wish people would actually talk about the subject instead of throwing around attacks at each other. ultimately, whether anybody likes it or not - what you're writing is a footnote in the grand scheme of literature. you're writing on tumblr with your buddies and you're here to have fun.

if you wanna write an extreme sex scene with your consenting friends, go for it. if you don't want to write smut or you can't stand a certain ship, that is totally fine, too.

it's okay! both sides can be right without being aggressive or nasty.

like said, i would never label myself 'pro-ship' or any of that shit because i don't agree with that stance. i believe that there is a place for all content in all media in some, way, shape or form. i believe that rp is a slippery slope because it's a hobby that involves partners and is sociable. you have to please those around you and must understand that you can't wave around fetishes without a potential backlash. i agree people should write what they want, but i don't agree that there is a place for ( for example ) smut involving kids or animals. especially in the rpc. i've seen people 'joke' before about writing a pedo purely for exploration & to get a reaction. i can't imagine a more unenjoyable, questionable, horrific kind of thing to write in rp ( hell, even in media...that sort of character burns out and leaves creators depressed a/f).

i just wish people would talk, understand, and be open-minded. and - think about the bigger picture, too.

is this thing going to ride with you when you're offline?

probably not. so be respectful, have fun and just chill~

[uo6ep]

imagine if one of the big video essayists covered ichi the killer

[murderboisblog]

PATTING YOU I can only imagine QAQ

I haven't seen Suicide Club but I should! I googled "suicide circle" just now and found a novel by Sion Sono as well; I had no idea that was a thing. My exposure to weird Japanese horror movies has involved so much extreme nastygross gore (ex. the Guinea Pig series and Ichi the Killer) that I always laugh my ass off whenever I hear Western film critics doing that like.... weird little self-loathing exoticizing dance where they're like "ooooooh Japanese filmmakers understand the art of subtlety in a way that we never can, ooooooh you'll never find any gratuitous gore in Japanese cinema." You WILL and it is WORTH WATCHING if you have the grindhouse appreciator's temperament and I refuse to hear it erased and slandered!!!!! Never speak to me or my son Guinea Pig 5: Mermaid in the Manhole ever again!!!! (There is in fact a different approach taken to supernatural horror that's often subtler and more naturalistic, so it's not ALWAYS a stupid thing to say, but like. Sometimes it's really really stupid. I'm not like a film scholar or whatever but I think delving into the deeply rooted cultural concepts of How Supernatural Forces Work And What They Are that manifest in these horror movies is more interesting and valuable than just going "It's better because no icky gore :)" like, the human body is such a fascinating thing to center your horror around and there are few things more sincere than some weird artsy ero-guro shenanigans) (I do not necessarily recommend looking up any of the stuff I mentioned if you don't wanna see live action nastygross gore, of course, and that's perfectly fine. But you've activated the Talk About Weird Horror Movie Instinct and must suffer the consequences LMAO)

"won't find gratuitous gore in Japanese cinema" LMAO Tell that to my copy of Tokyo Gore Police.

Seriously there's a scene in Noriko's Dinner Table (the sequel/prequel to Suicide Circle) that just as a bizarre bloody torture scene in a bowling alley for absolutely no reason. Does it connect to anything??? Does it add to the plot?? Fuckin no, but it's in there anyway

I've never heard of the Guinea Pig series but I love a bit of over the top gore, like when it gets ridiculous and kinda funny. From a quick google search it seems more serious gore and torture than is my usual cup of tea but maybe?

Also since I brought up Noriko's Dinner Table I want to let you know that there's a scene where one of the characters gives a monologue speech thing about the importance of prey animals in a human sense, she says that everyone out there wants to be lions but you can't have just lions or there'd be nothing to hunt. So her and her group all become "rabbits" because prey is a vital part of the eco system and even though they're rabbits made to be hunted and killed they have indefinable value to the world of "lions"

[th-rdimpact]

i'm watching a craaaaazy lot of movies about sewer slide and kinda g°ry stuff in general and it's making me hella triggered lmaooooooooooooo

long ass review and rant about some movies i watched recently (as if i don't already have a letterboxd for this) anyways, strong themes mentioned beware

anyways su1c1de club isn't good? i was kinda hyped on learning Sion Sono style, sampling two movies (Tag, 2015, and this one) and hhhhhh, i mean it's a 2001 movie... his style definetly got more defined over the years i guess. maybe i'll try another one of his, this one just really wasn't it.

but As The Gods Will and Ichi The Killer are so consistent even being like 14 years apart? I wanted to hit up some Takashi Miike stuff after seeing he'll be adapting Onimusha and omg I'm kinda excited! I didn't think Kamisama no Iutoori really works as a movie, but I really liked the direction and nonlinear storytelling. and is hilarious as when I was talking about it with my boyfriend we found out the author also made Blue Lock (he hated the concept of the movie/manga and loves BL he was devastated). And Ichi the Killer? Holy shit, I love movies with extremely unhinged men like fr fr ughhhh. I loved Karen tho I was so sad when Ichi went ballistic on her.. And man Kakihara dresses SO FUCKING WELL, I was extremely delighted to find out the actor is Lord Raiden in the most recent MK movies ughhhh he's so fine.. and well back to his direction, I even commented with my bf he'd make a great Re:Zero adaptation if he'd like. Like the nonlinear stuff just pairs so well with the way he presents a story, like showing the present, then the past, then a glimpse on an earlier moment of the present, then another shot on another POV altogether like !??!?!?! imagine being in a direction contest and your opponent is the man who made Yakuza, Jojo, Ace Attorney, even fucking Dead or Alive live actions, like just you get to this level?? anyways watching movies is really a blessing i thank all the Gods for this possibility I love it so much omfggg1!?!?!?

is like so good to outgrow small and obnoxious characteristics of yourself, like when I was smaller I never went to the movies (my parents just weren't interested because we def could afford), I used to haaate live action movies they just weren't as fun as animations and ugh how could I have kept myself locked from gems like this for so long? Like this literally started to change a few 2/3 years ago???? likeee aaaah!??!!??!

and as an ending note it's like suuuper hypocritical I complained to my bf about the murd3r and r4p& scene on Suicide Club because there's an almost identical scene in A Clockwork Orange, even forgive me the wording, is really one of the most iconic scenes from the movie. I also couldn't stop thinking about Genesis by Eden everytime the damn character was on screen it was super annoying.

if anyone read up til here (lmao) watch Guinea Pig 4 Devil Woman Doctor, is just a couple of very funny skits of the Doctor (portrayed by actor Shinnosuke Ikehata/Peter, who stars as Eddie in The Funeral Parade of Roses (1969)!!) "treating" her patients with very unnsual illnesses, such as a talking stomach, a tattoo that doesn't stand still, and so on! It's like super funny and you can see everyone there has their share of fun, as the movie ends with everyone literally laughing their asses off. You can watch it on youtube w/ eng subs. and obv, you don't need to watch any previous Guinea Pig movies, they are even too much for me for what I've heard of it, at least for now.

[nogenderbee]

Hello! I hope I'm not too late for the Project Sekai Lover Event. If not, I'd like to request a pairing with a female character, if that's alright!

What nickname would you call your lover: I'm honestly really shy and super embarrassed when it comes to romantic nicknames so I would really call my lover by their first name or maybe a shortened version of their name.

What are your hobbies: I really enjoy reading and writing, especially fanfics! I've always loved fanfics growing up and enjoy everyone's creativity when it comes to storytelling and how they would spin together headcanons based on the information the original information gave us. Aside from reading, I also like to take walks to squeeze some exercise in everyday and watch anime whenever I have some spare time!

What's your perfect date idea: I think I would prefer something really lowkey like taking a walk through a park, going to an aquarium or zoo, or cuddling and staying home while watching anime. I'm not a big fan of loud noises so concerts or any loud event are out of the question.

What's something you hate in others: I really hate people who are inconsiderate. I've had some experience with going to a restaurant with some friends only for them to be on their phones and ignore me the entire time while I just sat there, so I would really love to be with someone who always takes my feelings and thoughts into account and tries to make an effort to have a conversation with me.

What are your main personality traits: I would consider myself to be introverted, hardworking, caring, and affectionate in private. I don't seem like much of the affectionate type on the outside, but I do like to show my lovers that I care and appreciate them through small gestures when we're in public and then show them physical affection in private.

What's an activity / hobby you like: I really enjoy reading and writing whenever I have the chance to! They're big boredom-killers and it's fun to imagine what a character would do in a certain situation!

What's an activity / hobby you don't like: I would say going to big parties or something along those lines. I'm not much of a socialite to begin with so having to spend time with so many people at the same time in a room that's probably loud and crowded would be a nightmare for me.

Thank you for all the hard work you do when answering these asks and I hope you had a great birthday this year!!!

Hii! Don't worry you're not too late! Also thank you darl <3 And of course I can pair you with female character so here it is~

Your pairing is...

🥁🥁🥁

Ichika Hoshino!

⊱ as for nicknames, she's pretty shy herself so she completely understands why you call her "Ichika" or "Ichi" (probably)

⊱ you definitely have writing and taking walks in common! So of course she also doesn't mind reading especially if something's written by you! As for excercise, she may not be the best companion but she'll do her best to keep you peace

⊱ and she absolutely loves calm dates! Be it cuddling in bed together or walking through parks, zoo's or any other places! Although she does sometimes want to go on a Miku concert with you, she'll understand your decision and instead will record the concert for you and show you once she gets back home!

⊱ as for your traits, she's not the PDA type either so your affections are usually shown in private. But she does enjoy small gestures like rubbing back of your hand or arm or so to give you a bit of comfort. But she also admires that you're so hardworking and especially caring! It's easy to say she appreciates your caring side and of course she's caring towards you herself!

⊱ and final headcanon because I cannot just miss it, I disagree to believe you two don't read or even write headcanons about Miku! Like Ichika is absolutely obsessed with her and everyone knows it so she definitely reads some fics with her! Not necessarily fluff but platonic definitely!

You and Ichika were right now just cuddling in bed while you were on your phones looking for nice fanfics to read together. You were of course still talking to each other, and then she found something interesting for her.

"Hey, look. I think I found something interesting!"

" 'Vocaloids babysitting child!reader'? Sounds good to me! We can try this! Is there Miku?"

"Yes... I was actually going through Miku tag..."

"Hah, like usually I see... well don't worry, I don't mind!"

"Thank you. Here, you can lean on my shoulder so you will have easier view. There's even your favorite Vocaloid in there!"

❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉⊱•═•⊰❉

[mierukami]

*TWs: >> this manga is pretty creative in its depiction of extreme gore and horrific violence, so expect to see the most nauseating gore/body horror you can imagine. >>many of the characters possess varying degrees of sadism/masochism and the implications that are brought up are quite disturbing all in all. The story follows a fearsome killer known by his codename (Ichi) and the orders he undertakes from his so-called uncle. The main story may lack some depth but it tries to add some by revealing the past bullying experiences of Ichi, which led to his current state of mind. Although it doesn’t seem to do a good job at relating it to the present, it manages to tie it in with Ichi’s current target. In the end the story does have a repetitive cycle but there are plenty of exciting twists to spice things up. Ichi the Killer proved to be one of the most disturbing and gruesome manga ever created, with a twisted story that didn’t make much sense until you get deep into the story. This manga really only served the purpose as a vaccination for extremely, bloody, violent manga because after reading this you’ll never feel a thing when you see like a guy being tortured or decapitated in any other manga. So in the end, this manga is a decent read, but you’ll have to be a violence lover to enjoy this. So if you're looking for a unique psychological Manga and can stomach themes of sadism/masochism, full frontal nudity, grotesque torture and violence that goes into overkill territory then I recommend giving this a read, though if you ever begin to get squeamish during or just by reading about it then give it a miss, if anything that's the sensible thing to do. ----- *Manga : ICHI THE KI*LLER by Hideo Yamamoto *MAL rating : 7.7/10 | *MY rating: 7/10 ----- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #bodyhorror #horror #manga #horrorart #gore #darkart #homunculus #mangarecommendation #horrormanga #bodyhorrorart #creepy #mangagirl #creepyart #darkaesthetic #junjiito #artwork #monster #sketch #scary #goremanga #sketchbook #scifi #tomie #inktober #jujutsukaisen #surrealism #horrorcommunity #horrorfan #csm #darksurrealism https://www.instagram.com/p/CqCQdyAILbY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ambreiiigns]

OK SO i have holes in my brain i put down my phone for a second and Forgot that i was writing in my little diary (tumblr) and took a shower instead. ok so. do not judge me. i watched three movies. first one is. good lird. it's called. slaughtered vomit dolls. it is just as cringe as you can imagine. i really never wanted to watch anything from the vomit gore series anytime soon cause i had the feeling that it ain't worth it but i found out the first one was just a bit over an hour long and i wanted to do some doodlin anyway so i figured i could put this on in the bg and do a silly little drawing and just Looking at it every now and then. which suffices well enough. scenes are so slow and drawn out that if you don't look for a minute you Won't miss out on much. anyway then i watched. the second guinea pig movie (flower of flesh and blood) this one Was actually my only definitive plan for halloween so that was cool. only 40 mins long which i didn't even realize when i put it on so that was nice ! and the THIRD one OH MAN i'm actually in love w it it's called ichi the killer dir. takashi miike AHHHH the guy from audition AUGHRHHRGHHHH IT WAS SOOOO GOOD i'm mainly ashamed abt the first two. the first ONE moreso. but ichi the killer FUCKED i was gonna watch it a few days before halloween actually but then i saw it's kinda LONG and it was LATE so i left it alone and i was so EXCITED TO WATCH IT IT'S SO GOOD

aight so i Have been saying that i was gonna do child's play + evil dead for halloween right. but i DIDN'T. mainly bc bigger series bigger commitment i'm distracted w other things AND i'm at my family home not uni home so i can't put my whole pussy into watching movies + for some reason my puter won't connect to the wifi at home but it works at uni and i'd rather watch movies on puter if it's a bigger deal. anyway. so my newer plan was watching some horrid fucked up movies for halloween. but my halloween Blowed this year it flunked so hard it was miserable i watched NOTHING. luckily in my brain halloween ends november 24th so i still have time. so today i made up for my lame halloween night and watched somenof the Horrid Fucked Up Movies i planned. i don't know why i'm ashamed to admit to what i've watched. promise you'll still love me so so much pls

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Kitsune-Hime ~ Kakihara Masao x Reader

I can’t not write for Masa anymore, okay? I can’t. So, this is a fic where Reader is the daughter of the leader of a yakuza gang that is friendly with Kakihara’s gang. Reader created her whole persona to revolve around the trickster spirit kami - The Kitsune - Through her imagine ( hair, looks, make up, clothes, weapons )

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Shinjuku - One of Japan’s most beautiful cities - It’s always so lively. During the day, everything is colourful and vibrant, tourists shop everywhere, people chat over beverages at cafes, there’s tons of shopping bags carried every, and lots of chatter and laughter among groups of friends.

At night, however, is when the fun truly begins - Shinjuku, the heart of Japan, the city with the best Nightlife, where everyone comes to have fun. All buildings are illuminated so bright that it blinds you, and then the clubs - Only by going inside, you feel the haze of mesmerizing drunkness from the drugs and depravation.

Naked women everywhere, lewd, and displaying free ahegao faces to anyone willing to pay, and tons of slimy, disgusting lechers that are desperate for attention and good fun. The better the pay, the better the depravation, and it went so deep that the police wouldn’t even dream of touching that place.

This depravation, this nefarious lifestyle, the underground dens of drugs and lust...

This was Yakuza’s domain.

-

A beautiful, vintage tea house by day, and in the basement, the ravest club in all Japan - It was known as Sakura - Chosen by the Y/N, the daughter of the Yakuza boss who had this place done. His daughter was going to one day inherit this illicit business, and with time, she will be the future Yakuza boss that everyone will fear and respect.

This Club was Y/N’s 15th birthday gift, and her father let her decorate it however she wanted - And she chose pink - A lovely cherry blossom pink, and tons of pink lights that would make your brain go haywire and shortcircuit as soon as you had your first drink or line snorted.

All drinks were spiked, everything was drugged, everything was fun, and safe for all the girls who said in advance they just want to have fun without being harassed or abused.

Y/N was a woman of integrity, and she knew just what everyone truly needed from a revolutionary place like Sakura.

A beautiful night of April, a blond man with scars and piercings, wearing a glittery pink suit, with his shirt half-unbuttoned and several men around him, entered the Club and let himself slump down in the corner, on the red and black couches. Looking to the wall  next to him, he remarked a beautiful young woman painted as a 9 tailed Kitsune. He often heard about the story of this place, and wondered if this woman was the same Kitsune as the Boss’s daughter.

Hours passed and Kakihara was pretty out of it - All that booze and drugs got him hazy with pleasure and he felt as if he was flying. He popped another one of those pink Fox-Pills - They were all the rage in Shinjuku - And let himself grin, wanting more and more.

His beautiful black eyes could only gaze, completely unfocused, but still trying, at the new group that entered the club. Attractive young men wearing black shirts with rolled up sleeves, all of them having tattoos, and wearing katanas and shades, protectively surrounding two petite figures - Must be women, Kakihara thought, in his dazed out mind, as he could only look at the mysterious one.

She was very thin and frail, he thought - He could almost look through her, but she didn’t look skeleton-like, as Karen is, it seemed to fit her. And she wasn’t tall, but not short either - Yet the big platforms of her black leather boots made her much cooler.

She was wearing a black crop top, with a fox’s face on it, and high-waisted black pants - And all that would be pretty basic for many girls, but she was wearing a long haori, worn loosely over her shoulders, black with red and pink petals, and a kitsune mask on the back.

And the best part was... The way her Rapunzel-like red hair glowed in the hectic lights... Or maybe he was too fucked up from all the things he took, and the flashing lights. Like an epileptic attack. He wanted to fall to her feet and let her stomp on him.

The girl’s hand slowly raised to her waist, resting gracefully over the handle of the katana she - Beautifully embellished with golden swirls and a red pendant with a jade fox hanging from the handle... And that manicure... Those long and sharp black claws...

And the Kitsune mask she was wearing...

Kakihara wanted her more than he wanted death - At least at that exact point in time, when he may not even be aware that he was staring creepily and that he was high and drunk in a club as well.

As if all his prayers have been answered, the girl elegantly prowled towards him like a stunning panther stalking its prey, and then, she was right in front of him, looking down at him and tilting her head slightly. The cute little ribbon and bells hanging from the mask’s ear were dangling with a soothing, yet unheard chime, thanks to the deafening, booming music blaring through the speakers.

The mysterious woman bent to Kakihara’s ear and said “You are in my spot.” and straightened up, waiting for an answer. She got only a stare.

Her voice was as mesmerizing as he expected, but being spoken into his ear like that made the hair on the back of his neck raise up with excitement, and he could only grip, biting his tongue and unintentionally showing off that tongue piercing of his, along many others.

The men from around the two opposing couches immediately shot up and tried to get their blond boss to get out as well - “Boss, this is The Kitsune, we have to leave!” and “Boss, she kill anyone who dares sit in her spot when she is around!” followed by “Boss, this is her Club, leave her be, don’t provoke her!”

But it was all left as good as unsaid, as Kitsune raised her leg and slammed it onto Kakihara’s shoulder, pinning him back onto the couch’s back rest, her katana already glued to his neck, so dangerously that the blade already pricked his skin, letting a necklace of red fluid trickle unceremoniously down his chest.

“Are you going to leave on your own, or do I have to cut you in pieces and throw you out in the trash can?” Y/N threatened in a low, dangerous voice, which made the man in cause get up and, putting his hands on her shoulders, he got very close to her masked face. “Why don’t you take me out yourself and cut me in as many pieces as you want?” he grinned euphorically, which made the girl scoff and drag him out by the scruff of his shirt. “If you want to die that badly, then go ahead. I’ll end your suffering. But don’t make me attack you when you’re fucked in the head so badly and have no weapons.” finally outside, she didn’t need to shout anymore to be heard through all that loud music. “Don’t worry, missy, I’ve got my weapons at me all the time!”

And, making the girl’s eyes widen in shock at what she was seeing, the blond yakuza extracted the two long needles from the edges of his mouth, and let his jaw hang, showing off his creepy glasgow smile.

“Dude... What the hell. You’re, like... Straight outta horror movies. Actually no, never mind, I guess it’s pretty neat.” the girl was at a loss of words, not sure whether she should be horrified or impressed with the sight in front of her.

The man didn’t talk, instead, he stumbled on his feet, hurrying to the girl’s side, as she used the scabbard of her katana to parry the needle slashes, and hit his wrists, and thus, she was easily able to get into a crouching position and sweet the feet from under him, stepping roughly on his stomach and pointing the tip of her sword down on his throat.

“Go home. The Kitsune doesn’t kill drunk people who spent money at the Sakura club... I don’t kill my clients. But take this as a warning... I won’t be merciful a second time you decide it’s a wise decision to make me your enemy.” the Yakuza fox stepped away from him, sheathing her sword, ready to go inside the club once again. “Enemy? You’re wrong... I just wanted you on top of me.” the girl stiffened up on the spot, unable to come up with any reply to that. So bold and forward of him! What the hell was in your hazed up mind anyway? “Kitsune~! Are you done with that weirdo? Come on, dance with me! Let’s have fun!” the red haired girl’s friend made her appearance from inside the club and dragged her silent friend to have fun together. “Did anything happen?” “...No, it’s cool. Change the music to something more violent and trashy, also, I want some B52 shots. Maybe 5 of them at least.” the boss ordered her friend who merely grinned and mock-military saluted her, skipping away to the usual routine, as the fox girl slumped down on her couch, in her own spot, absent-mindedly looking at the kami-like painting of her from the wall.

For the next days, Y/N’s thoughts lingered on the blond freak with the cut up grin - How the hell could he be so bold and serious saying that?  She’s met enough lechers so far, but none had this... Allure, for lack of better words.

No matter, she thought - He won’t step again in her club anyway, he will just cower in fear and -... But would a guy with a glasgow smile and needle in his face really cower in fear? That guy doesn’t seem like someone to give up easily. What a freak.

Weeks passed, and Y/N hasn’t seen or heard any news about the mysterious blond drunk guy, so she let it go. One day, she was walking with her bodyguard gang towards another club, to inspect it and its facilities. As she was talking on the phone, she suddenly hear multiple gunshots at once that took out all of her bodyguards, who were surrounding her in a shielding circle. And now, she was alone to fend for herself.

Several gang members, no doubt enemies, she thought, as she readied her sword - It was ride or die - As some would say.

“Ah, the little fox of the yakuza, how fare you? You’re all alone, in a sea of men ready to take away your lovely coat and make it into neck-warming fur.” she recognized this voice... It wasn’t an enemy Yakuza gang.  “Uncle? Why are you doing this? Are you rebelling against father?” the girl gasped in realization as she saw the older man step towards the light from the alley, making a grand, villainous entrance. “I have nothing against you personally, my darling. I’ve watched you grow from the little Princess to this lovely and witty young woman. You even finished such a tremendously difficult University, and yet, your father still keeps you forced as a meek bride to wed you to some other yakuza boss so he can hold onto his own gang much longer, and expand his territory. You know that, don’t you? You were never the true heir - He was. By killing you, I’m doing you a favour - You shall be a free woman! No more pain or responsibilities, and you shall be a caged bird no more! You can sing to your heart’s content and spread you wings to travel all over the world -... In the after life.” the uncle spoke in the fakest sympathetic voice he could muster, making the girl sneer in anger.

How dare he? Who is he to dictate the fate of her life? Only she alone can do that! It is her life and her own choices! Although... He isn’t entirely wrong, per se. She finished University out of sheer ambition and hard work, spent so many years out of her life, dedicated to this, and hopefully, to be able to get out of the mafia and work a cute and peaceful job that she earned with her own forces...

Only to be forced into marrying some messed up old dude, or now, the other given option, to get killed by her own uncle.

Fantastic.

Y/N took a deep breath an, with the flick of her thumb, she grabbed the black and red handle of her sword and swooshed forward, decapitating one of the enemy gang members and using his body as a meat shield. She continued further on, until, from the other end of the place, she heard more screams of pain and... Was that fear?

“Kakihara! Boss, it’s Kakihara! We must retreat at once!” the subordinates cowered behind their boss like little cockroaches. “...You! You’re the guy from the club! What are you doing here?” the woman shouted in shock. “Ah, mystery girl. So you’re the reason for this carnage. Very well, I’ll help you out. At least I have a reason now.” his behaviour was so aloof now, completely different from the hazy man who slurred lewd things weeks ago. “Much appreciated!” with a more cheerful tone in her voice, Y/N felt it easier to go into battle knowing she had the most feared reinforcement.

A bloodbath ensued in the remote alleyway, only for a stray gunshot to hit the girl - It was unlucky it ways, but lucky in others, for it only grazed her mask, making her fall to the ground with a painful thud and a ground... And her famous mask was broken, flying away farther away from her, on the wet, red ground.

She didn’t realize at first what happened, and got up lethargically, messing up her hair in an attempt to get her head straight again, but then, she felt the fresh air slapping her face directly, and the bright light, hindering her vision... And she gasped with a yelp, hiding her face with her hands. 

“DAMN IT!” her voice was nothing like her Kitsune persona - It was almost as if Kitsune and Y/N were two different people altogether. Y/N, without the mask, is simply Y/N. And she’s timid, and afraid of the people and the harm they’ll do to her. It didn’t matter that her whole face had a beautiful and mystical Kitsune-like make up... The mask was everything, and now it’s gone.

In a surge of anger, the girl picked up her sword and menacingly stepped towards her uncle, her head hung down, covered by her long, vivacious hair. “You’re dead, uncle, and with your death, your gang is mine. Don’t blame me, nor my father for your unfortunate miscalculations... Blame your own self for thinking you can kill me and go away with it. See you in hell.” her voice was so soft and feminine, in almost startled Kakihara hearing her speak, especially with the antithesis of how dark and menacing the words were.

Not to mention, the way she ended her uncle’s existence with one, single, swift movement, and then went to pick up his head, kicking his body roughly. “I have defeated your Leader, therefore, you are all under my command! If anyone dares to disagree, you may go with my uncle in hell, and I will give you a first-class ticket... Personally.” and with a footballer kick of her huge leather boots, she sent the head flying away, watching the subordinated bow to the ground in front of her and swearing their allegiance.

“So what is your name, mystery woman?” the blond man stepped in front of her, looking down at her, only now realizing the height gap, even with the platformed boots she was wearing. “You know me as Kitsune, therefore you should continue that way.” she spoke with some resentment, before clearing her throat and looking away. “Anyway, you saved my life, so we are even now... I guess. Kakihara... Was it?” the man felt so awkward seeing how very different this version of the woman at the club was, that it took him a few seconds to answer. “Yeah, that’s me. It was luck I was around, but I am from a gang that’s allied with your own. What were you doing on the enemy turf anyway?” he asked as they both left the place for the subordinates to clean up. “I was supposed to formally inspect a new club in the area... But I guess it was all a scheme made by my uncle to do me in. Pity.” she shrugged non-chalantly, as they got to a black car. “Anyway... Thanks, I guess. Next time you come around my club, tell them Y/N said all your consummation is on the house. And you can stay in my spot too. That’s the only way I can show my thanks. This is my car... So, uhm... I’ll see you around, Glasgow. Bye.” and with that, she didn’t wait for an answer - The atmosphere was too awkward - And she got in the driver’s seat and went back home.

She knew she was going to get scolded, without a doubt, after all, she got all her people killed in a heartbeat - Not that she wanted to, but she was still responsible for her subordinates, so it was, indirectly, her fault they died.

Unfortunately for her, these deaths meant the end of a bet... Or an agreement, rather. And she’s lost in. She was to remain unmarried until her first subordinate death. She managed to keep it up until now, when she barely turned 27, but... There was no turning back from this.

It didn’t even take a weak until Y/N’s father made her make all the preparations to meet her future husband, and she had to behave like the most gracious Princess. It wasn’t that it was too difficult for her - Rather, it came naturally - But if it wasn’t something she wanted to do, she had problems doing it 100% well.  This sucks.

She dressed in a beautiful, pink, flower-patterned kimono with a long, purple and gold haori, and had her hair up in an intricate bun, along with a simple yet lovely flower hair accessory on the side of her head. Her make up was soft, yet feminine and it made her even more innocent and pure than ever.

She and her father waited in silence, patiently, in front of the kotatsu table, and when the clock beat 6 PM, the door was opened and a man walked inside. As soon as Y/N raised her head to see the ugly, old bastard that she was forced to marry, her demure face contorted with shock and disbelief. The man’s eyes - Usually peering into your soul, and lifeless or bored... They were now surprised, but he said nothing. He had no idea this was going to happen.

Y/N turned her head to the side and lifted her pointer finger to her mouth, making sure Kakihara doesn’t let it slip that they met before, and under what circumstances - Sure, her father trusted her with the management of the club, but she didn’t want him to be told what she was doing. Not that it was bad, but she was just too embarrassed.

Kakihara owed a debt to her father, and he could only pay it by marrying his daughter and joining their gangs together. It was unfortunate for the both of them, but that’s how it was. The Yakuza was ruthless, in all the wrong ways.

Her father had the, after a few sake drinks, to go to her room and get to know each other better, for the wedding, very small, will be held in less than two weeks from now on. Wonderful.

The two sat in a tense silence, at the opposite ends of her room - The girl trying to be small and hide herself, or magically disappear, while the man could only look at her with mild disappointment and boredom.

“Where’s your sister.” he grumbled, letting himself slump down on her desk chair. “Sister...? I’m an only child.” Y/N turned to him with a confused frown. “Then someone was impersonating you. You’re not the woman who almost killed me in front of her club, nor the one who killed her uncle. You’re meek, and boring and silent. I don’t like you.” Kakihara spoke, very bored, playing around with a lighter. “...If you don’t like me, go ahead and kill yourself. It will save the both of us a rather unhappy marriage, don’t you think?” she sneered at him, looking out of the window. “...Oh? You’re starting to sound like her.” he titled his head to the side in mild interest. “Stop fooling around. I am that same person. I don’t know what kind of weird... Psychopathic, lewd, fetishistic images you had in your head when I was Kitsune, but that’s my persona. I’m the boss’s daughter, I have to be strong and make an impression. That’s not me. That’s who everyone wants me to be. If you don’t like it, I’ll just slash your throat and be over with it.” Y/N rolled her eyes, crossing her arms to her chest as she threatened him in a calm voice. “And who are you, then? Some submissive girl who does anything daddy tells her to?” his eyes harshly peered into her gentle, doe-like ones. “I don’t see you doing any better. Marrying some stranger girl, being Daddy’s little bitch and doing anything he says to keep him happy. Look at yourself first, before you judge others.” despite glaring at him, Kakihara could see the pooling anger and sadness deep inside her soul. “Maybe you’re not so bad. This is your apartment, isn’t it? Yours alone? We’re going to be living here together for a while. Anything interesting around?” he asked, putting his ankle over his knee and rotated in the chair left and right, analyzing her room. “Sorry to inform you, but there is no hidden sex dungeon. I’m as vanilla as can go. If you want that kind of entertainment, the whole street is full of that, anything you desire. All I have here are my musical instruments, the small garden I have on the terrace, an arcade and dance ring apartment above, and the penthouse which serves as a kendo dojo. Oh, and my cars and motorcycles are in the garage. I bought everything with my own, working money.”  she spoke nonchalantly, looking at her beautiful claw-like nails with great interest. “So daddy’s little girl isn’t as spoiled as I thought she was. Why don’t you show me your weapon collection... If you even have one. Also... Nobody is truly vanilla. Everyone has a kink of two of their own, they just don’t want to admit to it, or haven’t found it out yet.” Kakihara got up, heading to the door. “Just because you get off on having a plane fall onto you while you’re burning alive and voluntarily drank a poison that makes you writhe in pain, all that while you’re hanging by hooks stuck in your skin and have spiky ropes around your wrists and ankles, doesn’t mean everyone is into that.” and thus, with a glare and a nod of her head, she went to open the biggest drawer in her room - Revealing an impressive array of katanas, and some spare kitsune masks - And she took the black and red one, passing it to the blond man. “Open the handle and look what’s written inside.” “...Oh? Nobunaga Oda?” Kakihara’s eyes widened in genuine surprise, tracing the name engraved inside the sword’s handle, along with the blacksmith’s own name. “What else you’ve got there?” “The blue one is Masamune’s. This one is Ieyasu’s... Ah, and this is Minamoto Yoshitsune’s. Hijikata... Okita... Oh! And this is Tomoe’s! She was amazing... I’m really happy I managed to get my hands on this one. Wasn’t easy. Women samurai were few and it’s an infinite times harder to get your hands on their weapons. Well... Nobunaga’s is still my favourite katana, along with Masamune’s. I still need to get Kenshin’s, Shingen’s and Mitsuhide’s, but that’s for the next auctions, I guess.” and with that, Y/N closed the wardrobe - Kakihara’s plebeian eyes stared enough at such priceless wonders. “You are half my size - Or else - And yet, you handle the weapons of the most famed and feared warlords as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Maybe you’re not as boring as you seem to be. Guess all I need is to discover your kinks.” he spoke so shamelessly that the girl could only look at him in disgust and snatch away her sword from him. “Take your filthy hands off my sword, you stupid plebeian. And get out of my house. I don’t care if we’re going to get married, you’ll sleep outside on the mat.”

Although she said that, her father didn’t let her act as she wished. The two had a small, traditional wedding, but had to kiss for the camera, and at the end of it, they had to spend the night together... Not only one, but the rest of their days and nice as well.

However, as soon as they got home, Kakihara didn’t even look towards the bedroom. Instead, he threw his shirt off and threw himself on the couch... And fell asleep. Y/N could only look at him weirdly, but said nothing. Instead, she got a blanket and put it over him, going to sleep in her own room, happy and unbothered by the world.

It sort of became a routine after a while - Since Masao didn’t spend the days at home and only came there to sleep, while the girl was most of the days at home, or outside, having fun - But neither of them missed the other.

That is until one night when, instead of crashing down on the couch, Kakihara slumped into a chair in front of Y/N, and looked at the girl who was very patiently and attentively writing various papers. He extended his arm towards the fridge and got the sake bottle, put two glasses on the table and poured in both of them, albeit, shakily, as he was already pretty wasted.

“Drink.” he said, but the girl didn’t even look at him. “I hate sake.” she replied simply. “Let’s get drunk. I want to have a talk with you.” he explained, making the girl frown lightly, averting her gaze towards him. “We don’t need to get drunk to talk, you know? It’s actually not advised to have serious talks while drunk.” she spoke, very confused. “The most honest conversations are when you’re drunk. Trust me on this.” he said that, and yet, he saw the skepticism and hesitation from the girl. “I... Never got drunk. I don’t know...” she trailed on, looking to the side shyly. “Tipsy’s fine too. Just do so. Trust me, I’ll take care of you and I won’t take advantage of you. It’s important.” despite the weirdness of the request, Y/N exhaled, finally giving in, and carefully put all the papers in her dossier and sat back down at the table, downing down a glass... And then a second and a third one. “So... What is it? If you want to run away from here and live in hiding, I won’t turn you in.” she chuckled lightly, but she noticed the blond just look at her - Directly at her - And she felt so uncomfortable, as if she was watched under a microscope. “Honestly... Masa, what is it? You’re kinda creeping me out when you look at me without blinking.” Y/N muttered, pouring herself another drink and playing with her fingers. Kakihara’s eyes seemed to absorb her altogether - But, after a while, he finally opened his mouth to speak. “Why do you wanna die so badly?”  “I...Don’t? What makes you think I want to die?” the girl had to pour herself another drink, to deal with this. “You’re faking. You’re depressed. You’re caged. You’re not allowed to be who you want to be, and you barely find any joy from the hobbies you used to have. Don’t tell me you’d come back as a vengeful spirit if you were to die right now.” it almost felt as if he was interrogating her. “Well, aren’t you the same, then? You want to die so badly that you clinged onto the image of Kitsune who almost killed you, but then, she spared you, and you wanted more, but all you got was me, a huge disappointment? Nothing excites you anymore, nothing makes your heart beat, nothing makes you happy. Everything is numb and boring and there’s no worth in going on with the same, disgusting routine every day. You think being a masochist will make you feel something other than that void in your heart. It won’t.” she was harsh when speaking, yet this harshness made the man chuckle lightly. “Perfectly accurate. The only thing is... I found something that sparked my interest. That’s you. I am interested in you and the enigma surrounding you. We’ve been living together for months and I still know nothing about you. I want to know what’s gotten you so afraid of living that you had to hide in an impenetrable shell.” he leaned forward, almost as if he wanted to be closer and closer to her. “We haven’t been doing much talking lately, why are you surprised you know nothing about me. Actually, we barely even saw each other in this time spent ‘married’. It’s not rocket science, it’s common sense.” The girl eyes the blond with a careful expression, almost as if she was scolding him for his obvious negligence. “We are talking now.” He provoked her, yet he realized that this deflecting was merely a defense mechanism. And she poured one more glass. “Do you like swimming, Masa?” she asked randomly, looking away with a dejected expression. “It’s fine, I guess.” He raised his eyebrow carefully. “Imagine that you are a child, and you don’t know how to swim, but you are at the beach and it’s very beautiful and fun, and you want to learn how to swim and the person you trust to teach you swimming throws you in the deepest water, just as some huge waves come by. You’re afraid, and you almost die, but somehow, despite how exhausted you are from breathing water and flapping around your arms, you manage to survive. You are afraid of water now. But you get to the beach again, and you long to swim, even though you are afraid. It’s so hot outside, everyone around you is in the water, and happy, and you are shackled alone, on the beach…Until you are not. And someone teaches you how to swim… But, this time, they promise to give you a life jacket… And they don’t. You’re too tired to even try to get yourself to the surface, so you just let yourself be taken by the current. But then…One last time… You see a saving hand. And you take it…But this hand grips you tightly, and they dive down, down…So down…That you don’t see anything but a dark abyss everywhere around you, and you’re drowning, to the point of no return. I’m at the point where, if I see water again, I know I won’t be able to struggle anymore, and the next hand that will pose as a helping hand will go around my throat and watch as the life leaves my eyes completely.” She sighed, downing quickly another sake glass…Until there was none in the bottle anymore. “Anyone would be afraid of drowning at that point. You’re ashamed of your fear, but you don’t have to be. The next helping hand will be your last. Because that is me, and I intend to get you out of that water and teach you how to walk on it.” Kakihara got up from his chair, but as soon as he stepped towards her, she unintentionally retracted back in her chair like a cat cornered by a rabid dog. “I-I don’t… I can’t… I… I told you I’m not into your weird things! I don’t care if you can’t find some chick to beat you up properly, I’m not gonna do it! So don’t try to bother, it won’t work!” she stumbled over her words nervously, trying to inch away from the man’s touch so much that she almost fell off the chair. But Kakihara caught her, and knelt by the chair, showing her that he won’t bring her any kind of harm. “I don’t want that. I want to find meaning.  A purpose. To be reminded that I’m alive. Maybe I can live through you somehow. It’s the last thing I can think of that can keep me alive. I don’t want to kill myself, but if I get desperate, I’ll do it.” He spoke, almost as if he was desperately pleading to her to let him do it. To trust him – To allow herself to trust one last time. It was their last chance of being alive, and they either lived together, or they died together. “You must first learn to gather the courage to look at water. Then, to touch it. To not be afraid of getting your hands wet anymore. It takes a lot of work to get back the strength to sit in the rain without crying. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Masa. Just give up already. It’s a hopeless case.” She looked away, feeling her hand being taken in his. “It is not.” And then, Kakihara got up, taking off his shirt, and carefully, took the girls hands in his own. “You said – Get the courage to look at the water. Then, look. It’s me, not someone scary. I won’t move from this spot. When you’re drunk, you get courage. Get that courage. Look at me. Touch me. Don’t be afraid to live anymore. It doesn’t have to be today, or tomorrow, but don’t die with such pitiful fears. That means you let those low-lives get to you. Kill them.” His encouraging was weird, but in its own, freaky way, they were… Pretty convincing.

As soon as he let go of the girl’s hands, he watched her demeanour. She wanted to do it, but every time she’d extend her hands to touch him, she’d retract them back to her chest immediately and look away, her eyes glimmering with tears and mixed emotions.

She wanted to. She wanted to. She wanted to. She wanted to. She wanted to.

In the end, she got up, went to the fridge and looked for the other bottle of sake – It was already half finished – Definitely by Kakihara, and downing it down, she slammed the fridge close and turned around to look at the blond yakuza. Biting her lip to keep herself from cowering again, she fidgeted with her fingers as she examined every inch of his chest, and his neck, and his arms and his face and his hair. Every little part, every chisel, every vein, every artery, every muscle, every bone – In her mind, she named them all – She was a medicine graduate after all – And this scientific approach somehow made it easier to deal with it – Making it impersonal, as if it was research – Rather than something emotional and intimate.

However, after standing there for a while, she started biting her lip harder and harder, and instead of looking at his body, she thought back at his words, and the impact they had on her. Kill them? Dominate them? Take back your own life into your hands and live…Live. Learn to live again. Learn to feel again. Learn to…Learn to not only exist, but to actually live and be confident, smile and have no more regrets.

Take back your own life into your hands.

With one last spur of bravery in her heart – Bravery, desperation, anger, rage, hatred – She threw herself at the man in front of her, her arms trembling, but it took only a few seconds for her to completely wrap her arms around his torso, her head resting on his chest, hearing his heartbeat and his body heat…And somehow…Slowly calming down herself.

They sat in silence for a while, but for the first time since they’ve known each other, it was a comfortable silence…A comforting one. “Can you…Can you…H-Hug me…Too?” despite the awkwardness and nervousness she felt opening her mouth and speaking, she felt that it was safe to do so. “You’re stronger than you think. Even if it’s the alcohol acting, it is true.” As he muttered that, he put one had on the back of her head and the other on her back, keeping her closer to him, feeling her trembling. She was vulnerable and crying, but it wasn’t a cry of self-pity, but one filled with raw emotions and desperate need of revenge. “Will you help me kill all of them?” Y/N asked, her voice shaking with a dark hatred and rage. “I won’t turn down an opportunity to kill.” The man mused, a small smile of satisfaction on his face.

Finally, things were getting fun, and the little red kitten was turning into a rabid fox with pointy fangs and sharp claws.

Since then, the girl’s main focus became training more vigorously and fueling her wrath, while having her men track down the people who wronged her so she could make the perfect schemes and get rid of them in extreme fashion, and at night, she would get shitfaced drunk with her husband and learn to not fear the whirling, raging sea.

And that’s how the red haired girl finally got her revenge on the destructive helping hands that ended up drowning her. Torturing them, or letting Kakihara have his fun with them, having all the weirdest, yet innovative methods of bringing hellish agony for others. She didn’t want to admit it, but Y/N was actually really enjoying seeing these people writhing with pain and shrieking their throats raw and bloody.

It was truly the most fun she’s had in her entire life and she didn’t want to give it away for anything in the world. She felt as if the weight of the world was not on her shoulders anymore, and her heart could finally feel at ease – At least a little bit – And with a more clearer conscience, the shackles of the past were beginning to slowly, but steadily get melted off with acid.

That is until one day when, as she was blasting loud music on her dance station, along with having her headphones on and she was dancing her heart out – The only workout she truly loved and made her cheerful – She was so stuck in her own, fantasy world, that she didn’t hear the intruder getting in her home until she felt a rough textile material choking her and there was nothing she could do. She had no weapons at her, nor did she have the physical strength to throw the man off her, and she saw nothing more than dark spots before her as everything went dark and her head was hazy and fainted.

When she came to, she found herself in a dimly lit look, only a singly lightbulb, dangling above her head, provided any source of light around the place. As she blinked away the dizziness, she realized that… She actually knew the place, which made her freak out even more.

“I know you’re there, just get out. We could’ve been here without having to go through all the trouble of kidnapping me from my own home, you know? It’s a bit barbaric, even for you.” The girl didn’t even try to struggle, she knew where she was and she knew who did this to her. She was either super dead, or super in trouble. “Glad to see you remember the place where you saw your first interrogation and execution. I see you’ve been doing really well, lately. So well that you even went against my rules of interfering with the outside world. You killed so many people and even dragged Kakihara in with you. I’d almost say you became some master manipulator, but I’m pretty sure he just pitied you enough to go along with your plans so you wouldn’t get killed, otherwise he knows the consequences of you dying.” The man then got out from the shadows, revealing a mocking smile. “You’d be surprised how nice he’s been with me. Pity or not, I got to respect Masao, not only as a loyal husband, but as a supporting person as well. Regardless, we’re not here because of what Kakihara did, but for what I did. You want to punish me or what?” the girl asked her father with a rather bored tone, rolling her eyes impertinently at him. “Well, darling, I’m sure you remember what that useless uncle of yours told you before you killed him and took over his gang, right? He wasn’t wrong, and truly, your death there would have been a blessing for you. Now that you are married and are on such great terms, I can take over both your and Kakihara’s gang, and I just need to kill the both of you…Beginning with the easiest target.” Her father hummed villainously, only to see her smirk and shake her head. “You honestly killed my men to get inside my house and kidnap me just to say this ridiculous monologue, when you could have come over and put poison in my drink or something. You’re ridiculous, how did you even make it this far anyway? Even if you kill me, you can’t kill Masa. He’s a hundred – No, a thousand times smarter and stronger than you can ever dream of being.” She chuckled mockingly, letting her head back, only to feel her jaw grabbed roughly and then getting slapped. “I should have disciplined you much better when you were little, you became such a brat now. Maybe I should do now what I should have done 20 years ago, and only then get rid of you.” The sadistic grin on his face as he grabbed the whip made the girl gulp and look away, realizing she was in…Big shit.

Time was meaningless and it felt as if it stopped altogether. It hurt and it sucked. She hated it. However, all she could think about was – How the hell could Kakihara get off on this?! – What the hell is wrong with his head? No wonder he couldn’t get any satisfaction, nobody could possibly give him the proper kind of mix between pain and sexual meaning.

Freak.

She could only chuckle through the pain, thinking of her masochistic husband and the dejected look on his face whenever he’d get home and muttering how pissed of he is that all women who try to inflict pain onto him do so only half-heartedly and without any proper intent, and he’s so exasperated with them that he almost gave up.

Somehow, thinking of Masa, the pain wasn’t that bad anymore – It was, but she didn’t focus on it anymore, but on him, as he always made her laugh with how different they were, but in the weirdest way, pretty similar as well.

And then, the resounding loud noise of a gun shot was heard through the room, and her father was sent flying to the ground with a terrible groan. Looking towards the door, Y/N’s widened eyes saw the very man she was thinking of getting inside the room and stomping on the boss’s hand hard enough to make him wail out in pain. Masa had his people restrict the leader while he snatched away the whip from her father and he crouched down in front of her, taking out the knife from his pocket and cutting off her restraints.

 “Did he do this to you, Y/N?” he asked as he cupped her face, looking deep into her eyes, trying to keep his voice calm when talking to her. “Can we kill him?” she nodded, putting her hands over his, squeezing them for comfort. “It won’t end with just that.” He reassured her, kissing her forehead and helping her get up. “Have fun, Glasgow babe. I like watching. But make sure you go all out on this. After all… He has to pay for years of being a jerk to me.” She hummed in fake happiness, seeing the man widen his already cut grin.

He gestured to his men to bring him his torture instruments and had his fun as Y/N smirked in satisfaction, sitting like an Empress in the chair she was previously beaten on, and cheering on her husband.

“You know, after today, I truly can’t understand what you like so much about receiving pain like that. But I can see the appeal of watching this unfold, especially when you hate that person so much.” She whistled with a smirk on her face, but the man could only look at her face – A fox-like, mischievous grin, her eyes sparkling with a peculiar kind of sadistic glint. Was this Y/N, or was this Kitsune? Or truly, were they the same person all this time, but she was just too afraid to be herself without that mask on?

Masa  went straight in front of her and bent down, cupping her face for a second time and crashing his lips to hers, surprising her, but at the same time…That was hot. Her hands slowly went up to his face, only to grab him and pull him closer to her, not wanting to let go of this short euphoria she was feeling.

The now ex-Yakuza leader was completely forgotten altogether as he was quickly killed and the two went back home and let the magic take over them. This spur of braveness was unknown to her, but she just went with the flow. She was living her own life and not accepting any regret. The feeling of Masa’s rough, calloused hands tracing her soft skin as he tried to be careful with her, but was still lost in the moment, the cold and metallic tongue piercing going up her neck and the shell of her ear, the way she felt no more fear or embarrassment being exposed in front of the man who was holding her in his arms, as her claw-like nails were going up and down the lean muscles on his arms and back.

Y/N let her head down, allowing room for more passionate kisses and marks, going down and down and down, as she could only let out soft exhales and moans of pleasure, feeling her whole body burning in flames. She heard many times her friends saying how many with piercings were something else when giving pleasure, but to experience first hand, it was an euphoric feeling.

He was the devil in all kinds and senses, and she loved every bit of it. Kakihara Masao was her devil, and hers alone, and if anyone dared try to approach him with any devious intention, there will be hell to pay, by her own hand, with the sword of the Demon King of the 6th Heaven. If they thought the Sengoku era was bloody, she will replace her Kitsune mask with an Oni one and show them what a true blood bath really was about.

From that night on, a special bond created between those two, and every time Kakihara went out to interrogate, kill or torture some enemy, he’d think of Y/N and get inspired. He saw her getting her finger pricked by a needle when doing embroidery, and that’s how he came up with the idea of hooking hooks into a man’s skin and hung him, inserting long needles into his face.

And then, one day, as he was puffing onto a cigarette, smoke going out from his split cheeks, he watched the girl fry some tempura at the grill, and decided to drip boiling water on another man as he interrogated him.

Not only that, but as soon as he went to a matron for information, with Karen’s help, he realized she was going to say nothing unless he decided to pay for a quick and meaningless fuck, so he broke all of her fingers, pulling them backwards until they loudly cracked and hit the back of her hand, making her shriek her lungs out.

One man, stuck in a broken television, crying, tied up – A man who cammed up and mic’ed up the torture rooms, also stole the money from boss Anjo – In a room full of pillow feathers… A man with extensive plastic surgery done on his face, who told them this Ichi was going to kill him next, and all he did was clean up. He was in deep trouble. Kakihara pulled down the girl with him down on the fluffy feathers that flied everywhere around them, only to take out one of his needles and proceed to make this Kano into a pin cushion.

Something similar also happened to a Chinese pimp, tied up on a chair, and as Kakihara interrogated him, he split his long needles with Y/N and played darts with his face and body, grinning and laughing at his pain and his lack of responses, and, by the end of it, he got a pair of scissors and sliced it anxiously fast in front of his fast, scaring him enough to piss his pants – And then he sliced off his dick, making fun of him – A pimp unable to fuck anymore, how ridiculous!

- All that while the girl was watching from the corner of the room, giggling and having way too much fun – It almost seemed as if Kakihara was going all out with the torture to entertain her, judging by the way he grinned and would occasionally turn his head to her, as if to laugh together.

But then… He had to pay for all this torture he did, on the wrong person and, in front of everyone, did something so shocking  - He cut his own tongue off.

Dressed in that glamorous purple suit and trenchcoat, he went in front of wife and took off the green scarf from around her slender neck, where his hand, lips and tongue found their place so often, then took the short sword – Wakizashi – From the small scabbard that resided at her waist, just next to her katana, and went to kneel in front of the desk.

“I really like sweet things, like my wife. And this piercing as well. At night especially, it’s very useful.” He spoke in his usual monotone, yet somehow borderline playful tone, making the fox girl hiss at him for being so crude. “So what?” the man who wanted ransom for the shit Kakihara pulled looked at the blond with a weird expression on his face. “I’ll cut off the part that can taste her. What a pity.” And thus, as the girl had to grit her teeth in anger and embarrassment, Kakihara put the scarf around his neck and, sticking his tongue out by that very piercing he used so often, he stared deep in the boss’s eyes as he sliced off half of his tongue with painful grunts, splashing and spitting blood everywhere, handing his own tongue to the man. And then, he got a phone call from Karen and left the room, gesturing for Y/N to follow. “You’re a huge idiot, you know that, right? I have to stitch your tongue, or you’ll bleed to death or something. Stupid, masochistic freak.” She sneered at him, dragging him away and, when they were out of the building, she got him to a remote alley, pushing him down on the ground as she stood down on his lap as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “You’ve gotten bold, foxy fox.” He grinned stupidly as he grabbed her thighs, pulling her closer to him. “And you’ve gotten stupider. Speaking like that in front of those old farts, saying embarrassing things, and even that stunt you pulled? Have your forgotten? Your life is mine. Your body is mine. Your everything is mine. Who the hell do you think you are to do something like that, in front of me, nonetheless? You’re lucky you have pretty eyes, otherwise this needle would have gotten right through that hole in your eye.” She growled at him, feeling his fingers digging deeper into her flesh, getting more and more excited. “Too bad we’ve got a long day. I really wanted you. Right now.” He wanted to grin wider, but the rough grip on his jaw and the stabbing of the threaded needle came as a sweet punishment that surged and lit up the blood surging through his veins. The grunts of pleasure and pain were embarrassingly loud, but he knew he had to keep quite or things will get bad with her. But he couldn’t. “You’re being a very naughty brat, Masa. It’s almost like you’re asking for it. You aren’t, are you? You truly wouldn’t want that.” The bittersweet poison that latched her every word made the man close his eyes and tense up even more, an exhale of pleasure escaping his mouth. “You’re making it very hard to resist you when you’re being like this.” He panted with an ecstatic expression on his face. “I have no intention of killing you, nor to bring you pain, Masa. The most I will do is chain your hands together and tease you even more. You owe me. You owe me big time after that shit you pulled today. That tongue you gave away so freely was mine. And this… This neck is also mine. I could snap it very easily if I get pissed off, but I won’t. Your life is mine and I won’t allow you to give it away for anyone or anything. Only I get the right to take your life, got it?” the girl traced her hand gently on his neck, as if it was its rightful place there. “Got it. I’ll pay back my debts very, very soon. “ he was looking at her and grinning like a needy child in need of a candy fix.

 And, lucky him, he did as he promised, and the reward was as exemplary as expected. All that teasing throughout the day, all the expectation and thoughts that were swirling not only through his mind, but also though his body, like a fever of lightning-like shocking pleasure – Something that ignited in him the sole reason – The only thread of hope that he so desperately hung to, as his last ray of hope and life.

Her hand on his throat and her nails down his skin, the gripping of his hair, the way she’d bite into his shoulder and how he gets pulled down on the bed, the burning of his wrists from the rope, and the agony of getting denied every step of the way, only for then to experience the Little Death at her mercy.

The sole thought that he wasn’t allowed to live, or breath unless she said so, that his life was hers and that her blade digging at the skin on his throat, the blood trickling down, just like that night, when she gave him one of his infamous scars… The thought that if only her wrist flicked down a bit harder, in the spur of the pleasure he was giving her, flick that would ultimately bring his demise… Or that hot tongue going up his jaw, or her teeth tugging at his piercings…

Heaven was a place on earth with her and her alone.

However, in a desperate shock of disappointment, when he finally for Ichi on the roof of a skyscraper, only for that infamous killer to be nothing but a disgusting piece of shit that wallowed and groveled on the ground in self-pity and lame sobs… Kakihara was on his knees, ready to kill himself as he took out his needles and pointed them towards his ears – If he doesn’t die now, there was going to be hell to pay from Y/N, he thought with an amused smile of resentment. He would be leaving her all alone in this world, but she was a Queen, and she would get the whole Shinjuku Mafia this way, so there was no need to be worried about her life, at least.

But, as he closed his eyes, chagrined, ready to insert the needles inside his head, a voice that he never expected to hear called out his name with desperation, rage, anger, wrath, agony and many more mixed feelings – And he felt himself getting punched roughly in the face, falling backwards into the protective walls of the roof so that he wouldn’t fall down.

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” he managed to open his eyes, staring in shock at the wet doe-eyes that were staring at him with such anger, for the first time since he met her. “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF BETRAYING ME?! IF YOU DIED, YOU’D BE JUST LIKE THEM! DIDN’T I FORBID YOU FROM TAKING YOUR LIFE?! YOUR LIFE IS MINE! MINE! NOT YOURS! YOU SELFISH BASTARD!” and with that, she continued to punching him with all her might, unable to control her emotions anymore. But Gods, did he love it. This violence, this aggressiveness, it was all he ever wanted. Violence and love. A reason to live, the thrill given to him from someone who almost literally has his heart in her hands and could squish it with a single move.

His nose was broken, his lips were busted, his cheeks were swollen and his eyes were black. And he loved it. He loved it so much, he almost thought he jizzed himself on the spot. The euphoric, orgasmic face he had on his face, that stupid, shit-eating grin only pissed Y/N more as she continued to punch and kick and slap and claw at the man, almost as if she was mauling and ripping him apart like a tiger would her pray.

“I love you, Y/N! I love youuuu~!” he knew his confession, albeit heartfelt, would stir even more emotions from her – A truly emotional woman who put heart in everything she did – Especially the passion of her heart. She wasn’t afraid to show what she felt anymore, and boy, was she enticing as hell – So much that any succubus would be jealous on the power and effect he has on this enchanted man who could only see Heaven before his very eyes.

After what felt like an eternity of bliss, Y/N fell to the ground, panting heavily from exhaustion, cursing him and insulting him with every breath she took. But she was already too tired by now, and she could only see the slumped man looking at her with a dazed lust and love expression… Just like the first time he saw her, at the Sakura club, when he was all high and drunk. She truly was, in all aspects, the only thing that could keep him alive and ablaze.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.” Kakihara chuckled weakly, watching the pissed frown turn into a disgusted grimace and a roll of her eyes. “If you dare pull that shit on me again, I swear I will chain you to the wall and never touch you again. I’ll just let you rot there, alone, in your own agony. That would be a much worse fate for you than simply killing yourself or something.” She sneered at him, only for that Glasgow smile to split his face even more. “I love it when you threaten me.” He praised her, as he always did. She was a sucker for getting worshipped and praised, while he loved the pain and domination given to him. They were weird in their own way, but they knew how the other worked too well. Y/N got up and extended her hand towards the blond Yakuza, helping him out, then went to the wailing man on the ground and, taking out her katana, she repeatedly slashed him, rendering him nothing more than a sack of useless meat for the flies to claim. In her rage, she kicked off every slab of meat down the rails, falling unceremoniously on the ground and splattering the whole place with blood and minced meat, along with his ridiculous black armor.

“Ichi the Killer, huh? How stupid. There’s only place for two important people in Shinjuku, and those spots are already taken. Kitsune-Hime and the Masochistic Freak rule Shinjuku and everywhere you see in the horizon with your own eyes. As if that pathetic pervert could even attempt to best us. Not when you’re wearing the pink glitter suit. This is my favourite shirt of yours, I couldn’t have you ruin it.” Despite patting his chest – Or his shirt, rather – She grabbed the neck of it and brought him down to her, looking at him threateningly. “What do you say in your defense?” “You’re the boss of Shijuku’s Yakuza and I will obey you and you alone. My life is yours and I won’t do anything that will put my life – Which is yours – In danger.” He grinned at her cheekily, earning a huff from her. “And~?” she trailed on, waiting for the magic words. “And I fucking love you, Y/N.” he muttered that as if he was put under a spell by her stunning eyes. “That’s my good boy.”

[deoffal-mp-adm7000-n-s1-2022]

The 57, Part 5:

41. Person: Based on the novella by Harlan Ellison ‘The Eyes of Dust’ (1967), and to give context from the man himself on the ideas behind this short story:

“Because, friends and neighbours, we live in a Time of Beautiful People. Gorgeous is revered. We can’t stand anything even remotely ordinary; it has to be young and lovely. So you are not where it’s at, if you aren’t pretty.”

Source: http://glenncolerussell.blogspot.com/2021/01/eyes-of-dust-by-harlan-ellison_8.html

The story follows an ordinary family at the bottom of the beautification ladder on the planet Topaz, their son ‘Person’, yes he’s called person, supposedly so abnormal and alien to the beautiful elite of Topaz that he has no name and gray eyes like sockets full of dust, open being found by the police at the end of the story he is burned alive and destroyed, his very visage so distinct to the vanity obsessed that he had to be killed. It reminds of the discussions I have to have about the values of using morbid and grotesque portraiture to create my commentaries on people and the world when people often flee from the ugly and alternative. I personally find beauty boring, after all, I could stare at my girlfriend all day but I wouldn’t learn anything I don’t already know, beauty is boring and fleeting, ugly and ultra-violent, grotesque and indifferent to vanity and egocentric appearances on aesthetics are dull as bricks to the thinking man, and to the artist it’s child’s play, anyone can paint a soft rose, but who can capture fear and gore without feeling it strike them to their core, to learn about the noumenal and the reality of the world and it’s people there has to be an ugly and catastrophic side to utopia and idealism, and though most want to avoid this and destroy all media that offends and assaults their senses it will always be relevant and introspective enough to be critical to the progression of mankind to see and analyse the minutia of the ugly and alternative to the sub-interesting ordinary. 

42. Topaz: This piece just echoes the same story as the last piece, except this time Person is drawn more realistically to the plot of the initial story and is shown here immolated for his function as the confrontational and cynical in the face of the mundane and predictable, the last messiah as I'm sure Zapffe would muse. 

43. Spore: This piece is very similar to many of the portrait in ‘The 63′, especially because of the reoccurring theme of Biosophy and nature as in a mutual relationship with man in life and death, this image being a body consumed with budding fungus spored through their body and feeding off of the original host, almost like a living mortification. 

44. Yamamoto: This piece is a tribute to Hideo Yamamoto and his famous manga ‘Ichi the Killer’ (2001), often considered to be sado-masochistic version the conflict of batman and the joker, wherein Ichi is the stand-in for batman, a repressed sadist who gets immense joy from beating and killing people, his initial sexual awakening coming from watching a group of people gang rape a school girl, and his joker being an extreme masochist in the form of Masao Kakihara, an enforcer for the Yakuza who is obsessed with mutilating his body and those get in his way, the personification of “If they’ll do that to themselves, then imagine what’ll do to you”. The relationship between the two is a constant struggle between admiration and bitter disgust for each other’s disciplines, a constant fight between a masochistic perversion of life and a sadistic one, they are both meant for each other and can’t live with the other around, it’s apparently quite a normative conversation in japanese culture, as in discussing whether or not your are a masochist or a sadist, literally to debate whether or not your are a dominant or submissive person, not so much in the sexual context, but Yamamoto’s work explores the graphic and shocking depths of this very conversation in a post-modern way, through graphic ultra-violence. My depiction here is based on the film version (2001) of Kakihara, as played by Tadanobu Asano, which is famous for being the cover art of the film within popular culture. 

45. Gregor: This is another take on Gregor Samsa, less bug like and more metamorphically dynamic in this version though, between the human and animal versions of himself. 

46. KSLV: I based this work on the emerging potential of Phonk music in popular culture. I was raised on The Prodigy, Fat Boy Slim, Basement Jaxx and Aphex Twin and so I see artists like KSLV as the emerging present and future of contemporary experimental music, Phonk has recently become extremely popular within internet music culture, coming from the same space as soundcloud rapping once inhabited, that of basement and bedroom dwelling artists coming out of the woodwork with all kinds of reimaginings of edm, synthwave, sampling from rap music to contemporary pop and underground music, from hardbass to hardcore Memphis rap groups and death metal. Phonk is everywhere currently and KSLV has stood out to me the most because I just couldn’t avoid him given the musical rabbit holes I often find myself in each late night, his music represents the european western fusion of the genre, coming from Germany and even using japanese art and motifs to illustrate his album covers and singles, even releasing an ep called ‘Noh’ (2022), as named based on the masks he uses to front his music:

Source: https://soundcloud.com/kslv_noh/dynamic

I can’t explain exactly why japanese motifs are so exciting for western artists exactly, my only real opinion on that is that western artists love the graphic nature of the imagery and the unforgettable aesthetics of japanese art, it’s just so refreshing when you spend the majority of your life seeing mainly european and modern art that just doesn’t excite many feelings of adventure in you the same way that Japan's iconic stylings do. Plus, we are a generation that was raised on anime and manga, and so it has alot to do with admiring the skill of japanese artists to craft memorable worlds and genre defining works such as Berserk or Naruto etc. This mask that I made was in reference to the same source image here, that of a hannya mask, the face of a grieving and ghoulish women in japanese folklore, they are always represented like this and are probably the most recognisable masks from noh and kabuki theatre. I won’t name anymore phonk artists as it’s really a rabbit hole worth exploring once you get the time to listen to a genre of music that is still deeply underground and slowly becoming more and more relevant as the months go by. 

47. Yog . W: I’ve spoken about this piece so often it’s ridiculous, I’m just going to quote myself from my application to the Robert Walters new artist of the year prize (as this was one of the pieces I picked to show my practice, given it’s prominence in this first volume of noumena as the front cover and it’s link to Lovecraft): 

“This piece is inspired by the works of Weird fiction authors like H.P. Lovecraft, Algernon Blackwood and Arthur Machen, these authors are massively inspirational to the future of dark surrealists such as myself, because they discuss the posthuman, abhuman and nihilism beyond the conventions of sensible mankind as not being able to see past their own existence when considering the greater noumenal world and it's potential after and around us.  This exact entity being inspired by the story 'The Dunwich Horror' (1929) and the character Yog Whateley. As featured in my current project 'Noumena'.”

48. Nest: I don’t really know the exact reasons for this piece existing, I can only see it now as example of a pathogen making it’s way to the surface level from the inside, that of the traditions of body horror that the body is brimming with potential to be exploited by the horror artist as a nest for mutative exaggeration and mutilation beyond all recognition to take place. Other than that I would only be repeating myself when discussing the ideas of Cronenberg, Carpenter and Romero again. 

49. Damn: This image is very cartoonish, not at all a serious take on a demon, taking the idea of the words I said about the fantastical in history as represented through musings on theology and mythology, and running them through the aspect of caricature, almost to mock how silly the idea of animalised demons altogether, that comical idea that sin would be personified by clowns with horns and cloven hoofs, cheap scary characters to stop children from eating too many sweets before dinner and to scare them into saying thank you to everyone they meet, it’s honestly one of the more humorous aspects of hell to me, make the torturer more logical and grounded rather than making it a dog with an attitude and the ability to speak pig latin and you thusly have something to be far more afraid of. After all, the nazis didn’t need more than skull pins, leather jackets and enamel badges to scare the crap out of people, it’s about the presence one gives off, not the exaggeration of natural anxiety in the animal or it’s human hybrid features when made demonic, the reason demons were invented was to scare surfs hard enough into having them fearing the most abhuman thing the church could think of to scare unintelligent peasants into working so hard they could burn the sin out of themselves by dying of exhaustion rather than living in sin. I used to draw demons alot when I was much younger, but I can only see them as softcore shock nowadays, the real monsters are hiding in plain sight and have reason to use a pitchfork to intimidate you, media like ‘American Psycho’ (1991) have certainly turned people’s opinion in a more introspective and realistic expectation of true villainy and actualised demons in the real world, the contemporary damned as all those treat human life as lesser than the dead etc, sin and piety don’t even enter that conversation. 

50. Mope: This piece is simple enough, people wear their opinions and emotions on their faces, I remember once being confronted by a teacher once for having quite an animated face, I realised after that that I was giving it all a way and giving up my emotions, you can’t have a poker face or be a stoic in the face of challenges in life if you show so much emotion on your face that you might as well become a professional mime and go to clown school. Plus I don’t like mopey and dopey people, this face just annoys me and it’s easy to resign from humanity when all people do is wear this face over the slightest infractions in life, everyone loves a good mope and the english are Olympians at it, the ability to be alive and well is enough for me not to mope around and waste the muscles in my face. It must be odd to think that even though I see myself as an expressionistic artist, I see alot of human expression as irritating unless it’s done out of comedy and true performance, I just see so many people wearing their face like a license to moan and groan forgetting it’s their only shield against improper judgement and mockery, maybe I’m just to pessimistic to take people’s expressions seriously anymore I have no idea honestly. 

[bi-naesala]

Demonstration

Fandom: Yakuza Rating: E Warnings: / Relationships: Kasuga Ichiban/Zhao Tianyou Characters: Kasuga Ichiban, Zhao Tianyou Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Established Relationship, Rough Sex, First Time Bottoming, Nonbinary Zhao Tianyou Summary:

Ichiban demonstrates to Zhao how he felt about him the first time they met.

(Also on AO3)

Every time Ichiban and Zhao have been intimate, they’ve always kept things quite simple, gentle even.

They never thought about it too much; it’s just that they enjoy each other, nothing more, and they don’t really care about what they do, as long as they are together and have both a good time.

It’s almost weird considering how their first meeting went. Of all things, Ichiban would’ve never imagined that he was going to end together to the person who threatened to kill him with a smile on their face, but so is life, and he couldn’t be happier about it.

“Oooooi earth to Kasuga-kun!”

Contrary to what Zhao might believe, Ichiban doesn’t jump hearing their voice calling out for him. Nope. Not at all.

“H-Hey! Zhao! What is it?”

Zhao shoots him an unimpressed look. “You haven’t been listening to a word I said, haven’t you?”

“Huh…” Ichiban smartly replies. “Sorry?”

“You’re unbelievable,” Zhao mutters, shaking his head, but despite their words, there’s a smile on his face, finding Ichiban’s behavior endearing. “And what were you thinking about that was so important that you’d stop in the middle of the street like a lunatic?”

Oh right! They went out grocery shopping for the barkeep. And here Kasuga was, lost in his thoughts…

“Oh, nothing much, really…”

“C’mon, I’m curious now. Pretty please tell me?” Zhao insists. Oh hell, Ichiban can’t resist that tone of his.

  “Just… Wait,” he mutters, taking Zhao by the arm and guiding him away from the main road, entering in one of the smaller streets. If he truly has to answer to Zhao, he’d rather do it in a place where they can get a modicum of privacy, which would usually be at Survive, but this is close enough. At least there’s nobody there for the moment.

Zhao hasn’t said anything about Ichiban’s behavior, not even a little word of teasing, for which he’s grateful for.

“Should I get worried?” he asks though. Considering how Ichiban’s acting, it would be safe to assume that this is something serious.

“Oh? Oh no! Not at all!” Ichiban’s quick to reassure him. “I was just thinking about… well… about us.”

Now Zhao looks extremely curious. “Us? And what about us were you thinking about?”

“About how funny it is that we ended up together, considering how we met and what I thought of you…”

“Ooh?” Zhao perks up. “And what did you think of me?”

Were their relationship still in its early stages, Ichiban might’ve felt so embarrassed about what he’s about to say that he would’ve tried to find an excuse not to reply, but now he replies calmly, accepting the challenge hidden in Zhao’s tone: he uses his bigger stature to tower over the other, reveling in the shiver Zhao isn’t able to suppress at the motion - though they don’t look intimidated at all.

“That you needed to be put in your place,” he growls then, voice low and gaze dark.

“Ohohohoh~” Zhao’s voice sounds more like it did when they first met: dangerous. “That so?”

Ichiban nods.

“Well then…”

Zhao stretches a hand towards their partner, cupping his cheek. “Feel free to put me in my place anytime.”

Oh, he’s into it. Ichiban can tell. Those glasses of theirs can’t hide shit from him, not when he knows them so well; there’s no other way he can interpret the shine in his eyes.

    After that revelation, of course, Ichiban hasn’t had a way to clear his mind enough to think about anything else that isn’t him putting Zhao right where he wants to and taking him the way they deserve.

How are they supposed to do it, though? They share a room with so many other people that they can't possibly put themselves in a situation where they would most likely traumatize someone!

This requires a solution, because as much as Ichiban could easily let this go and wait for the proper occasion, he has no idea how long that would take, and he wants it so bad. Usually, in the bedroom, Zhao’s the one leading, so changing things sounds very interesting, and Ichiban can’t deny that he’s curious to see Zhao’s reaction if he lets him get away with what he wants to do, so no, he can’t wait at all.

  Mmmh what to do…

Wait! He's just got an idea that might work!

    It’s harder than he thought having to save money, since he’s an impulsive buyer, but he manages because this is too important for him to ruin everything. Thankfully he makes enough as Ichiban Holdings’ CEO that in about a month he’s managed to get enough so that he can finally put his plan into motion.

What does his plan consist of? Renting a room at a love hotel, of course! Yeah, it doesn’t sound that fancy, especially considering that Ichiban’s been saving for this, but hey it’s not like he swims in money! Neither of them does!

At least like this they can be as rough and loud as they want to and, especially, they won’t have to be quick, because nobody’s supposed to walk into them when they least expect it.

  It takes him nothing to convince Zhao. They’re on board as soon as he mentions the love hotel part.

“Oh yes please,” they say, and is Ichiban dreaming things, or does he sound very eager? Eh, he supposes he’s been waiting for this for a while - though if they have, why hasn’t he ever mentioned it?

  During their ride - there’s no way they were going to walk all the way there, so they’ve taken a cab - Zhao hasn’t pulled away from Ichiban not even once, holding his arm tightly and whispering pure filth in his ear.

“I bet you can’t wait for it, can’t you? Are you going to make me scream? Are you going to make me beg for it? How long ‘till I’ll be able to walk again?”

On his part, Ichiban does his best to ignore what they say, even if the more time passes, the more difficult it becomes, especially when Zhao begins to lavish at his neck, like they’re not sitting inside a taxi and there isn’t a clearly uncomfortable driver.

“Z-Zhao… Please, not here…”

In response Zhao looks at him with such an innocent gaze that it almost makes Ichiban believe that he truly doesn’t know what they’re doing wrong. Ass.

  At least after that they calm down, not trying to rile Ichiban up anymore. Not that they needed to continue, since he did manage to get Ichiban going, even though there’s nothing he can do about it at the moment. Once they get to the hotel, though…

Ah. So this is why Zhao’s been acting the way they were acting: getting Ichiban so riled up that as soon as they were alone, he was going to explode.

Well, if that’s what Zhao wants, then Ichiban will give it to him, and with interests…

    Ichiban might be moving things along a bit too fast once they get to the love hotel, to the point that once he gets the key to their room, he almost runs towards it. He doesn’t only because he doesn’t want to appear too eager, though by the way Zhao’s looking at him, they must’ve caught it either way.

  Once they’re inside, they take a moment to study their surroundings. Huh, classic love hotel stuff: tacky pink everywhere, enormous bed, even bigger mirror, cabinet with lube and condoms… yes, the usual. Not that Ichiban has been to many love hotels…

He gets distracted when Zhao presses against him, circling his back with their arms. “Soooo Ichi, how are we going to do this?”

Seeing that Ichiban doesn’t reply, he begins kissing up from his neck to the corner of his mouth. “What? Cat got your tongue?”

  Before he can react, Ichiban grabs him by the waist and throws him on the bed, making him land with a loud oof.

“Hey, what the hell?!”

Before Zhao can complain further, Ichiban has found his place between his legs, pressing him against the bed.

“This what you wanted?” he asks, grabbing Zhao’s chin with a hand, sending a shiver across their spine.

“Huh-huh,” Zhao nods, looking at Ichiban with feverish eyes.

Oh god, they’re already get going… and Ichiban would lie if he said that this isn’t having an effect on him as well.

  He kisses Zhao hard, forcing their lips open with his tongue. The objective is to be as overwhelming as possible and, judging by the way Zhao is holding onto him, he must be doing a good job at it.

When they pull away, Zhao’s already panting hard, and his face looks even more debauched with the glasses that are threatening to slip off at any second. Ichiban takes hold of them and puts them aside, so that they won’t risk bending or breaking them - that would certainly be a mood killer.

He licks Zhao’s lips, taking then their lower lip and sucking, before biting it. Zhao gasp, body twitching against Ichiban.

“That all you thought about when you saw me? Kissing me?” they provoke Ichiban then, even though his voice doesn’t sound as confident as they’d like to appear.

In response, Ichiban grabs Zhao’s shirt and rips it open, making the other gasp as buttons come fly all over the place. Zhao doesn’t think he’s ever been so wet in all his life.

  Ichiban’s so glad Zhao didn’t feel like binding today; that thing is always a bitch to take off.

Like this, instead, he can already hold Zhao’s chest in his hands, squeezing it. His fingers are rough when they find Zhao’s nipples, twisting them in a way that makes Zhao whine.

“I-Ichiban…”

This is so different from what Ichiban usually gets to see, or hear, but he’d lie if he said that he doesn’t like it.

He lowers himself so that he can take one of Zhao’s nipples in his mouth, licking and sucking at it like he’s never done before, but when Zhao grabs onto his hair he pulls away, grabbing Zhao’s wrists and forcing them on the sides of their head.

“Stay still,” he orders then, but even after Zhao nods and Ichiban goes back to what he was doing, he still keeps his wrists in his hold. It would be easier to use some rope, or handcuffs - there must be plenty of those in here - but Ichiban has always preferred holding them down with his body, no need for anything else.

“Fuck…” Zhao moans when Ichiban bites down on his nipple, his whole body jolting at the sensation.

Ichiban raises his gaze towards him, and Zhao has to bite his lips to stifle a moan having that heated gaze on him. That, and also he looks so fucking hot while sucking on his tit like that.

If only Ichiban wasn’t between his legs he would try to rub them together, anything to dampen the wet sensation he feels between them. On his part, Ichiban doesn’t seem to care at all, at least for now, focusing only on their chest.

  They test Ichiban’s hold by trying to move his arms, but the other doesn’t budge.

“What did I say?” he scolds them. He usually sounds so gentle and careful, but Zhao hears nothing of that now. How much was he holding back all the times they’ve had sex?

“Sorry…” they mutter, though they don’t really sound that sorry.

Ichiban scowls, but apart from that it seems that Zhao’s apology is enough for him, because he begins kissing a line up to Zhao’s mouth, capturing his lips once again. He at least stops holding Zhao down, but just because he begins slipping his now thorn shirt off, and then going to their waist, thumbs caressing the exposed skin.

At the soft moan that leaves Zhao’s lips, however, they don’t stay still for long, and soon Zhao’s pants and leggings say goodbye as well, getting thrown on the ground with the shirt.

They pull away again, and god if Zhao doesn’t feel like a piece of meat from the way Ichiban’s looking at him. So hungry…

“You’re overdressed,” he points out, instead of saying anything about that.

“So?”

Zhao rolls his eyes. Ichiban has never defied them so much, but he supposes this is what’s fun about what they’re doing today. “C’mon… pretty please?”

It seems that his act does convince Ichiban a little, because he sheds his jacket, and then his shirt, so that Zhao can admire his body. Unfortunately, however, they don’t have enough time to stretch their now free hands to cup his chest because Ichiban drags him forward by the hips so that he’s resting on his knees, open and exposed.

  Ichiban looks down at them, and then a smirk appears on his face.

“Wow, you’re really into this…”

“Huh?” Zhao mutters, confused, but then they realize that there’s must be a pretty big damp spot between his legs. He nervously chuckles then. “Yeah… I am.”

Besides, it’s not like he can’t feel Ichiban getting hard against them. He’s into it as much as he is, and Zhao reminds him by grinding their crotches together, making Ichiban hiss.

It doesn’t last long, however, because soon Ichiban takes back control and pushes Zhao down, holding him still with a hand on their stomach, while with the other he travels down on Zhao’s body, until he reaches his pussy.

The fucker teases his clit just for a moment before lowering his fingers further, down to Zhao’s entrance. At first, he slowly gets only one inside, but seeing how wet Zhao is, he easily slips another one.

He doesn’t bother with being gentle, and thrusts his fingers in and out, in and out, getting the wettest sounds out of Zhao as he does. Holy fuck.

“Yeah… fuck! Ichiiiii!”

“Something tells him you’re liking it…” Ichiban grins, slowing down his movements. “But I bet there’s something you’d like more.”

“God, yeah,” Zhao moans in reply, knowing what Ichiban’s talking about. “Fuck, I need it…”

“Do you? ‘Cause I can keep going like this.” Ichiban twists his fingers up, and Zhao arches his backs against him as a loud moan escapes their lips. Oh yeah there, right there.

Ichiban doesn’t stop, making Zhao edge closer and closer to the orgasm, and all they can do is to hold onto him, scratching his shoulders with his long nails, unable to stop him - not that he wants him to stop. Holy shit it’s so good.

“I’m gonna… Ah!”

They try to warn him that they’re close, that they’re gonna come if he keeps going like that, but Ichiban doesn’t give him the time, going so fast that Zhao reaches the orgasm before he can even finish that sentence. His body tenses up at the sensation, arching and twisting in order to get it to last longer, just a moment longer but then, just like it started, it’s over.

  Ichiban pulls away, and Zhao already misses the feeling of having something inside him, though from the hurried way Ichiban’s unfastening his pants - he doesn’t even bother cleaning his fingers, the idiot - they suppose it won’t be for long.

Indeed, once Ichiban’s as bare as Zhao, he grabs their ankles and pushes them down, on either side of his head. He takes a moment to admire his lover under him, so pretty and flexible, at least until Zhao speaks.

“Again already?”

“You don’t sound upset about it,” Ichiban points out, and he can’t help but to smile, before remembering that he’s not supposed to do that, at least not during this particular occasion.

He distracts himself by kissing Zhao so that they can’t speak anymore, except for a few moans they can’t hold back when he begins to grind his cock against his pussy, getting it wet with all their juices.

He wouldn’t mind getting off like this, if he has to be honest, but he knows how good it feels inside Zhao, and he wants to get back there once again, so he temporarily lets go of one of Zhao’s ankles in order to better guide his cock, holding it as he begins to slide inside. Zhao hisses at the sensation, but otherwise he clenches around Ichiban, almost like he wants to suck him in.

“H-Hey, slow down!” Ichiban exclaims at the sudden stimulation, and he begins to thumb at Zhao’s clit in spite, knowing that it’s still oversensitive.

As predicted, Zhao shouts, body instinctively trying to pull away, but there’s nowhere they can go with Ichiban pressed against him like that, and it’s not like he’s giving him any mercy.

“Fuck! S-Sorry!” they try to apologize, but it still takes a while for Ichiban to stop, leaving Zhao a mess. They feel like a puddle, unable to move a muscle on his own.

  Only when Ichiban begins moving, Zhao manages to get partially out of the state of drowsiness that has been taking over them, body jolting awake at the pounding they’re receiving.

Ichiban’s going completely all out. He even makes the bed rattle with them, hitting the wall countless times. Had they been more coherent, Zhao would’ve wondered if they were going to make a huge hole in it, but with things being as they are, they don’t really care if they do, as longs as Ichiban doesn’t stop.

Usually they’re pretty quiet in bed, but this time they are unable to hold back his voice, moaning and screaming each time Ichiban sinks in. He swears he can feel him get deeper and deeper at each thrust; it’s like he’s drilling him open.

Their vision is cloudy, though it’s hard to tell if it’s just because they’re not wearing his glasses, or if there are some tears that are threatening to run down his face, but Ichiban’s close enough that he can see him pretty decently. He looks focused in a way that Zhao doesn’t think he’s ever seen him.

  Despite the fact that they’ve come recently, Zhao can feel another orgasm building up inside him. Once Ichiban notices - he always begins to tremble when he’s close to coming - he reaches down between his legs again, rubbing his clit with the same roughness from before, but at least it’s had some time to recover, so even though it still hurts a bit, it’s the kind of hurt that Zhao likes.

They feel a bit of drool trickling down their chin, but they don’t have enough strength to lift a finger and do anything about it. Besides, they barely have the time to think about that when Ichiban captures his lips again. It’s obvious by the erratic way he’s moving that he’s close as well.

“Zhao… Can I come inside?”

Zhao almost laughs. Really?

In a way, though, it’s sweet that he still asks.

“Please,” they say then, because he needs it, he needs Ichiban to come inside him so bad.

  Thankfully, it doesn’t take long for his wish to be granted.

God, it feels like Ichiban’s never stopping coming, which in turn tips Zhao well over the edge too, coming with a last shout.

Everything feels intense and not enough at the same time, and Zhao wonders if they've hit their head somehow for him to feel this way. He almost feels feverish.

  Soon Ichiban begins to slow down his movements, until he stills completely. He takes a moment to catch his breath, forehead gently pressed against Zhao’s, then he pulls out, making the other twitch at the sensation of sudden emptiness.

“Fuck…” he very eloquently says then. It makes Zhao chuckle.

“Indeed,” they reply, lazily dragging Ichiban in another kiss, this time softer and much slower than the ones they’ve shared until now.

When they pull away, Ichiban looks at them with badly hidden concern. “Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?”

“You fuckin’ destroyed me,” Zhao chuckles, but before Ichiban can begin fussing over them, something they’d frankly hate, they continue. “But that’s exactly what I came here for.”

“So it’s fine?”

Zhao nods. “More than fine I’d say.”

  “So… You liked it?”

Zhao raises an eyebrow at him.

“What do you think?” he asks, instead of replying.

After a moment of silence, Ichiban sighs. “Yeah, alright. Dumb question.”

  He lays down close to them, and immediately they drape themselves over him, holding him close. Ichiban hums contentedly, and returns the hug.

All that rough stuff is fine and all, but if he has to be honest, he prefers this “mushy shit” - that’s how Zhao would call it. This is simply how he is as a person, and nothing can change that.

He begins to idly caress Zhao’s back, fingers barely brushing against their naked body.

“Hey,” he says then. “Shouldn’t we take a shower?”

“Gimme a moment,” Zhao replies, voice a bit strained for the effort from before.

Ichiban nods, and waits until Zhao feels good enough that he can get up, because Ichiban knows that’s the problem. He’d offer to carry him, but Zhao would say no and maybe even get offended, so he stays silent.

  It’s not a problem, he can wait a bit.

Actually, with Zhao so close to him, he can wait more than just a bit, as long as they remain here.

“Yeah, take all the time you need.”

[introvertguide]

15 Badass Movies for a Fun Time at Home or with Friends

There is a buzz in the air as COVID-19 vaccines are rolling out and the hope of having a movie night with friends is again becoming a reality. Watching alone isn’t as fun because I want to talk to somebody about what I have just seen. A full theater does not agree with my introvert nature because somebody screaming or laughing or talking on their phone will ruin it for me. Watching with a fellow cinephile or two is perfect. But what to watch first? People have been stuck inside, so fantasy and alternative worlds have been overly popular. All I do is talk over zoom for a living. I think what I need most right now is a movie about realistic people with realistic skills that go into a situation and just wreck house. I need a badass movie. What is this “badass” movie you might say? Well, here are some basic criteria: 1) There must be a tough lead character who kicks butt while spouting one liners and doesn’t need superhuman powers (high levels of peak skill with speed, aim, or strength is OK if they are plausible in the real world), 2) most of the characters (good and bad) must be likable, admirable or at least memorable, 3) the lead must face and defeat overwhelming odds against them, and 4) extra points for memorable one liners. Also, I am only dealing with human protagonists (sorry Terminator), but slightly superhuman opposition is acceptable. This list is by no means exhaustive, it is just an example of some badass movies. So in no particular order:

1) Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

To start off the list, I want to mention the most well known American badass. Indiana Jones is a smart guy with a gun and a whip. He is rugged and punches guys in the face. He has weaknesses but works through them to get the job done. Harrison Ford was in his early 40s for this role and had this tough-as-nails and seen the world kind of feel while still being young enough to fight hand to hand. Any of the first three films featuring Indiana Jones would work here, but this is the original and it started the fun. Easy to watch. Easy to cheer for. Great movie. You can’t really go wrong with any age or group with this one. 

2) 13 Assassins (2010)

This movie is extremely badass but not for everyone. This is one of the goriest films I have ever seen as 13 warriors kill off a couple of hundred soldiers and the evil leader that they guard. The movie was directed by Japanese extreme horror icon Takashi Miike if that means anything to you (hey made Audition and Ichi the Killer). The movie has gallons of blood, but also an amazing story of redemption and honor. There are tons of scenes of a single warrior taking on dozens of soldiers and managing to overcome. Not for everyone, but still very much a badass movie.

3) The Raid (2011)

This is an Indonesian action thriller with the word action in bold. The film is directed by Gareth Evans and stars Iko Uwais as part of a small police force that tries to take down an old building that houses a drug lord and his violent gang. It has a lot of what I like in badass movies: one-on-one fights between the lead and almost superhuman villains, long well-choreographed scenes, a banging soundtrack, ridiculous weapons, and ridiculous gore. The fight scenes in tight places and the use of the environment for weaponry is amazing and the sound design makes sure you can feel every punch. The lead character should have no chance, but he makes up for it with skill and being a pure badass. This movie is one of the few that I would describe as having non-stop action.

4) Jon Wick (2014)

When did Keanu Reeves become so cool? I grew up with him being part of the Bill and Ted duo. He decides to learn martial arts and play a god-like being in the Matrix movies and then becomes a one man wrecking crew? I guess he is a badass because he does it so well. Keanu plays a retired hitman who is wronged and decides to go back to work for vengeance. He just won’t stop coming and seems to constantly survive out of pure hatred alone. There are 3 films in the series and any one of them will impress. Pure fun too watch.

5) Casino Royale (2006)

When I was asking around, there were many people who thought that James Bond was the ultimate badass. I disagree in that many of the older films show Bond as overconfident with the assistance of many people. In fact, Q is more of a badass in many ways than James Bond. However, when the series was taken back to its roots with the last book that had not been made into a serious film and made darker, it reached badass levels. From the parkour chase to a poisoning to an extreme torture scene, this was not like any James Bond movie before it. Roger Craig plays a much colder lead who gives no quarter, much more like what the greatest secret agent would have to be. Heavy on violence but light on gore, this film is more for all audiences than other films on this list.

6) Desperado (1995)

What makes this movie is not all about Antonio Banderas and Selma Hayek. It is that every other character is memorable and badass as well. The street standoff with Bucho’s men versus El Mariachi, Quino, and Campo is iconic. El Mariachi murders everyone in a bar with precise skill. The rogue assassin Navajas with all the knives played by Danny Trejo. Nothing but extreme shoot outs and fight scenes with a ridiculous variety of guns and explosives. I think what makes this movie so amazing is that all these amazing assassins are incognito and, when they suddenly produce an arsenal out of nowhere, it is always a pleasant surprise. Quino and Campo are amazing when they bring their guitars. 

7) Pulp Fiction (1994)

Truly the role that made Samuel L. Jackson into the ultimate badass. He and his partner Vincent are hitman that keep running into the worst situations. The thing about the film is that everybody is so cool. The characters are cool, the music is cool, the dialogue is cool, hell even the diner featured in the movie is cool. The movie only spans a couple of days (in completely separate segments shown out of order) but packs in 7 distinct situations that are all berserk. From the mind of Quentin Tarantino, this movie is dripping with the best characters traveling through the best story. Highly recommend.

8) Leon: The Professional (1994)

Also known simply as The Professional in the U.S., this film features the debut of Natalie Portman. It is directed by Luc Besson at his best period, right between La Femme Nakita and The Fifth Element. The lead is actually a quiet hitman who reluctantly takes a little 12-year-old girl on as an apprentice to become a paid assassin. Her parents were killed by a corrupt cop and she wants Leon to help her exact revenge. He is an absolute badass and somewhat of a caring surrogate father to the girl. Unlike a lot of the films on this list, the premise is not simply kicking butt in a bad situation. There is serious character growth. Apparently you can be a caring parent and a cold-blooded murderer...and that is badass.

9) Kill Bill (2003)

Being a badass is not exclusive to men and The Bride is a prime example of this. She survives a shot to the head, kills deadly assassins, slaughters a gang, and takes on a crazy school girl bodyguard. She is tougher then any lead I can think of and she has the bad attitude and sense of vengeance that makes for a badass. Combine this with the soundtrack and beautiful cinematography associated with director Quentin Tarantino and you have a beautifully violent movie in which the hits keep coming. Even on this list, the fight scene between the bride and Gogo Yubari is insane. Also note the nod to Bruce Lee with the bright yellow motorcycle suit. Beautifully badass film.

10) Aliens (1986)

In nature, there are few things more dangerous than a mother protecting their young. A mother will fight you to the death and make sure that, at the very least, you won’t be able to go after her kids. Now imagine an alien planet covered with hostile beings created in the mind of James Cameron and Stan Winston and you have a setting made to create a real badass. In the beginning, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is just desperate to survive and barely knows how to use a weapon. She meets a little survivor named Newt and then has a real reason to become aggressive. She and a group of marines fight through a station filled with super destructive xenomorph aliens made straight from nightmares to save this kid. The transformation is truly amazing and culminates in a mech suit versus a giant queen alien and it is extremely badass.

11) Army of Darkness (1992)

Far and away the funniest movie on this list, this is the third film stemming from Evil Dead and again stars Bruce Campbell taking on the deadites that were raised by reading from the Necronomicon. The opposition is the undead evil that faces the world which makes the violence very unrealistic. This was early work from Sam Raimi and features a variety of different shots done to the extreme. What really makes this film stand out is how Bruce Campbell is amazing at delivering a one liner. His classic quips have been used as fun Easter eggs in video games like Duke Nukem and World of Warcraft for decades. The quintessential horror comedy and a perfect example of a badass.

12) Die Hard (1988)

Apparently, I am a big fan of single characters that need to work their way through a building of villains using mostly intelligence and the element of surprise. Throw in some one liners and I am all for it. That is exactly what this is with Bruce Willis crawling barefoot around a 40 story building and fighting off a gang of villains. The movie also has Alan Rickman as the main bad guy and he is chewing the scenery. This is a great example of being a badass, but it is too bad that the follow up sequels were so poor. Definitely stick to the original and let the rest pass by.

13) The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1966)

An OG of the badass movie genre, this is some of the best of Sergio Leone and the spaghetti western. Instead of one badass, this movie has three different leads that are all amazing. You have the good, Clint Eastwood, who is an amazing shot and a heart of gold under a rough exterior. You have the bad, Lee Van Cleef, playing an conniving assassin that will kill anyone that he doesn’t have a use for. Finally, you have the ugly, Eli Wallach, as a desert rat that will do anything to survive. They all gain information about a gold stash and need to work together to get it, but this creates a vortex of cheating, undercutting, and straight up murder. Clint Eastwood is more of the classic badass with his cigar, hat, and poncho, It is an iconic look on an iconic character in an iconic movie. That is what I call badass.

14) Ong-Bak (2003)

This less of a badass movie and more houses some of the most amazingly badass fight scenes that can only be described as badass. This movie introduced the great Tony Jaa to the western world and showed the high flying nature of Thai boxing and Muay Thai in general. The main character is entered into a street fighting tournament and the moves include a flying double knee drop and a full splits kick. If the whole movie was the tournament, it would be the best movie that ever existed. The variety of opponents makes the fighting even better and the cinematography is top notch. Tony Jaa is truly badass in this film.

15) Dredd (2012)

Not the crappy version with Stallone, this movie is seriously badass. It features Karl Urban who is helmeted for the entire film (as Dredd would be) taking on a 200 story mega slum filled with residents that want to shoot him dead. There is a drug dealer high up in the building and she locks down the entire compound with instructions to kill Dredd, who only has his rookie partner to help. He takes on random resident mobs, groups of gang members, and even a trio of mini guns that have bullets that can rip through walls. He has a smart gun with a bunch of ammo that he uses judiciously to kill everybody. This movie was seriously underrated since it had not been that long since the garbage Judge Dredd came out in 1995. The 2012 is a far superior movie, being much more violent and dark instead of having Rob Schneider as the comedy relief (not badass).

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I know there will be a lot of opinions about what makes a badass film and what movies i didn’t add. Feel free to add your own movies or critique my choices. I will stand by my choices, however, and recommend any of these films for a night of cheers and badass action.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

We need to talk about Kevin

(if you get the reference in the title, you get a free emoji cookie 🍪)

So, if it's true and, in "Godzilla vs. Kong," Mechagodzilla has the brain of Ghidorah's left head (aka Kevin), I wonder if he'll become self aware at some point. Like, Kevin suddenly realizes he's Kevin, but now he has his own body. No more sharing it with two other heads! He has absolute control now, AND HE'S A GIANT KILLER ROBOT! How fucking awesome is that???

I can imagine Mecha Kevinzilla going to the "burial" site of Ichi and Ni:

WHO IS BOSS NOW, BITCHES?

They doubted him, always told Kevin he was the dumb one, but now he has an ultimate mech body and can do whatever the hell he wants. So, Mecha Kevinzilla goes rogue and decides to go on a rampage because HE IS A GOD NOW

But he is still dumbass Kevin, and looks more like a kid running around destroying things after having too much sugar, and Godzilla and Kong are like:

And Kevin dies...again.

Poor Kevin. He just can't win!