#ic || slippy

[greatfcx]

@pilotofstorm "Yo, Pops!! Happy father's day!" Skippy smiled brightly. "Hope ya like what I made today, it's crab!"

"Wow! Thanks, buddy! And, yanno I always enjoy the stuff you make!"

[partyswirl]

omg i can see you

I AM ONCE ABAIN FREED FROM PRISON!!!

[tiger-balm]

The rangers giant rookie falling like a baby deer 😭

[workingforitallthetime]

friends, it was a true joy to see rutger pull gavin down on top of him right in front of my own two human eyes, but i gotta tell you that the best thing about being at yost tonight was that my seat turned out to be right in view of the scratches in the pressbox. here are some things that i saw:

johnny tying seamus's tie for him

johnny and seamus having a water bottle flipping contest

good boy jacob truscott watching the game attentively while seamus and johnny and phil were on their phones

frankie joining the pressbox in the second period but sitting apart from the other four players like he's trying to reinforce my headcanons or something

johnny kicking back with his sneakers up on the table

seamus enthusiastically dancing to the blues brothers number during second intermission. johnny was bopping along too, but seated. only seamus stood up and got fully into it, and then he finished up with double finger guns and holstered them. nobody was watching this. (except me i guess.) this was solely for his own amusement. i am so glad to finally see some evidence of why everyone keeps saying he's a weirdo.

[krakenshipwreck]

(x)

[royalreef]

Anonymous inquired: To to use the spray bottle treatment on Miranda to stop her from acting up, she acts up more because HEY WATER ON SCALES FEELS GOOD 

       “Unfortunately, seldom does anyone check to ensure that it is saltwater they are spraying me with, as opposed to freshwater... But true regardless!”

[loverboy-ish-archive]

it snew :o

[jamck]

@starwolfslippy || 🫂

✒ — Having been at the bar for a while this evening, Jamack was already on edge. At least the traffic to and from the counter seemed to come to a complete stop for the time being, allowing him to slip away for a quick breather... and a nice surprise to greet him.

“Wow, where have you been hiding, Slip, and can I please hide with you?” There was an attempt to pass the overeager question off as a joke, though not much of one, as he hardly gives the smaller amphibian time to hug him first before returning it.

[f1-disaster-bi]

If I make it home without breaking a limb, it'll be a miracle

[starwolfslippy]

"You good?"

"A bit shaken up, but I'm fine! It was a pretty scary dream, to be honest. But, it's a bit hard to remember..

All I can recall is fire. Fire was breaking into something that I was in. And my skin was.."

He shakes his head. "Disturbing, but I'll manage."

[greatfcx]

[ @jazzwithnazz ; Bill] The pupper slowly creeps up. Despite his large size, being in the military has taught him well how to be sneaky. Very important skill. Sloooooowly creeps up to the poor unsuspecting Frog holding a bag of (opened) chip, and... "AWOOOOOOOOO!"

"WAAAAHH!!!"

That bag of chips is getting completely ripped into two halves, sending all of its flaky, potato goodness within all over the room as Slippy himself goes sailing straight up into the air as if to literally leap out of his own skin.

And now there's also a pheasant and a vulpine laughing hysterically long after the frog lands back onto the floor, right in the middle of the mess that had been just made.

"Bill! What the heck, man?? You can't just do that to somebody with springy legs like these, c'mooon!" Don't worry, he's failing a fight with his own grin as rises to his feet and dusts chip crumbs off himself.

[dhampling]

the gate girl!dadstarion, 1.5k

He knows vaguely where the building is - he’s sure he’s passed it on one of his late night jaunts - but you’re coming along too. He knows he’s prepared for this moment, down to the most minute detail.  - astarion is a school-gate dilf on his first pick-up adventure with you. wc: 1.5k a/n: dadstarion fridays! wooooo! hope you enjoy - love, dal x

“Come on. We’ll be late.”

Your hand meets his with a toothy grin.

Astarion teeters a little.

He knows vaguely where the building is - he’s sure he’s passed it on one of his late night jaunts - but you’re coming along too. 

He knows he’s prepared for this moment, down to the most minute detail. 

Weeks spent designing the overcoat now covering his clothes - almost feltish in texture, a deep blue with gentle golden threading. Brass buttons. The smallest red ribbon detailing in the seams. The fit is immaculate, despite the fact he had to take his own measurements. The gloves match beautifully, just as he’d intended.

Shoes polished within an inch of their lives. Shirt and trousers pressed to perfection. Hair neatly coiffed with assistance from your gentle hands.

He grimaces.

“She’s going to think I’m weird.”

“Is this for her, or you?’

He takes a moment. Examines both sides of his glove with a flex. Sniffs pointedly. 

‘She’s not going to think you’re any weirder than she already does. She’s your little freak.” You grab at his sides playfully and he shimmies around your clutches, breaking into a timid laugh. 

The dark skies of Deepwinter are primed to allow Astarion his first ever school pick-up. 

He hasn’t slept, you know that. Bag in hand holding the gift he’d spent the short day hidden away working on. Your matching scarves around your necks. The biting chill beyond the threshold of your hearth.  

Eyes round in a contemplative lax as his hand rests atop the door handle. 

“I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”

Your eyes roll fondly into your skull.

“Yes. Now, get moving.” 

It takes you enclosing your hand in his for the door to open, immediately facing a brutal fracas of ice-cold winds lapping at your face. 

“How in any realm is a child expected to walk home in this? Ridiculous!” He shuffles from foot to foot as he chunters while you lock the door and pocket the key, looking up to the stars.

“With a coat. And gloves. And…’

You point to the bag in his hand as you interlink your arms.

‘A scarf.’

Astarion gives a small smile, pressing a chaste kiss to your head.

‘Come on, now. We might get there in time to see her out the door.”

-

The walk there isn’t the leisurely gander Astarion had dreamt of when he’d thought of this moment. 

In his head it was always late summer. Sunblushed.

And yet as you turn your head to him in your giddy half-canter; cheeks flush and breath clouding the space around your perfect head, he can’t believe he ever imagined it any other way.

The stars overhead are familiar as they always have been. The slightest slippy tread of frost on the cobble. Windows around you lit with candles and the loud taverns you pass en-route seem well hunkered-down.

He finds himself pulling you closer with each corner turned, stumbling to keep with your gait.

And then, there it is.

A huddle of parents waiting out in the cold, hands rubbing together; a low hum of chatter. School gates still closed. When you greet some of them with familiarity - one or two even getting a hug as you make your way to your preferred circle - and introduce him as your husband, his heart swells. 

He didn’t realise you were friends with these people. That these fellow parents could be people to have anything in common with in the first place. Astarion is hardly the enigma he used to be within the city walls and they know of him. They know you’re with him.

But none have ever seen him in the flesh.

There’s a minute where he ponders what they think of him. How you’d described him, how they may have looked at your daughter under the orange gloaming light of Leaffall and wondered which features of hers came first from him as opposed to you. How they’d pieced him together in their minds.

He feels a little out of place as you chatter - hyper aware of each stolen glance in his direction. The whites of new eyes flickering in the darkness. 

It isn’t often he meets new people anymore. Even his client roster is exclusive. 

“Why would I tell you how good-looking he is when he isn’t even here to hear it?”

He tunes back in. They all look, you included.

“Hm?”

“Marta-’ 

A faux accusatory glance on your face as you look over to the human who - Astarion presumes - is Marta. 

‘Asked why I hadn’t told the group just how attractive you are.”

The way the most blinding smile breaks over your ruddied cheeks. He melts behind a scoff.

“Actually darling, Marta has a point. I’m hurt, frankly.”

Gods. They’re all laughing. Your gaggle of school-gate friends and he has them laughing.

“No, it’s just dark. See him by light. Then you’ll change your minds.”

You huddle closer despite the brazen lie and the group laughs away. He throws in a small chuckle for good measure and presses a kiss to your head once more.

They’re all relatively harmless, he decides.

What do school gate friends do? Why have you never invited them over for wine or something? 

“I mean - Astarion, what do you think?”

“Hm?”

“They’re showing a rather keen interest to come over one evening for dinner. Inconspicuous, I’m sure.” 

He looks around warily. Can they read his mind? Is someone here a weird school gate mind reader freak? What the fuck?

Your eyes narrow at Marta in jest.

Oh.

If you’re even showing the slightest hint at wanting the doting husband, the doting husband he will give you. Freely and willingly. Far too easily. Naturally.

“Oh! Whatever you want, my love. Anything.”

Astarion takes your head in his hands and brings you close for a warm kiss, eyes softening as he holds you in place. A gentle smile against the harsh wind.  

“What’s in the bag?” Another asks in a jarring fettle. Your head whips round. He answers softly. 

“I- I made the little one a scarf.” 

A coo arises from those huddled around the two of you. 

“He’s a tailor. A good one, too. Really good.” 

You nod with a smile, looking at him. You’re mid-cycle and the idea of your daughter spotting him with those big eyes makes you a bit weak.

A saccharine voice from somewhere in the mix - “He’s immaculate, honey. I’m a little jealous?” 

If he can blush, Astarion feels one coming on. This feels staged. 

“He can’t take his shoes off without kicking them up the wall. Or catch spiders.”

-

As you resume your quiet chatter amongst the group, Astarion catches the door open in the near distance and a soft amber glow pouring from it from the corner of his eye.

It’s a trance. He looks over the heads obscuring his view, the tips of his toes touching the ends of his pristine shoes. 

And there she is.

Absolutely perfect. Small, searching the crowd for the parent she knows will be here.

Then she sees him.

It’s not difficult from afar, even in the dark - she recognises the shock of white hair anywhere - and the look of sheer confusion painted on her face shifts to unfettered joy in seconds.

Gods. She’s running. Tiny legs, bag flailing in her hand. Shouting-

“DADDY!”

As she hurtles towards him, he realises he’s never seen her run like this. She can’t run like this in the house. It’d be enough to make him sad if he weren’t so wholly elated.

He crouches just in time for her to barrel into his open arms.

The way he cups the back of her head is as if he hasn’t seen her in years, spinning her as he stands and holds her at his hip. She’s babbling something wicked and all of it sounds like utter nonsense and he’s so besotted it doesn’t even matter.

His little girl, out in the world. Being a person. 

And it’s him that she chooses to run to. 

“Charming! Hello love!” You shuffle closer and plant a large kiss on the back of her head, taking the bags from her hand and hoisting them up over your back in a routine twirl.

You take Astarion’s hint of a glance toward his bag and roll your eyes fondly, feeling for the scarf and slipping it back into his hand.

“My little darling! Hello! I have something for you - close your eyes.”

He haphazardly wraps the scarf around her neck with one hand as she bristles against his hip, wiggling her shoulders in some impromptu happy dance.

“Look now! You match us!” He exclaims. 

She opens her eyes and squeals with glee you haven’t seen at the school gate before, ever.

And true to his word, the scarf wholly matches both of yours. Embroidered with small golden stars on navy fabric. Her name in some immaculate loopy hand. Far too big for her at present, but warm on this coldest of evenings.

“I love it daddy. I want another one.” She nods acutely and smatters his face in small kisses. 

As you look to Astarion, he raises both brows in amusement at her request. She tucks her head in under his chin.

“Come along now. Let’s get you warm by the fire.”

✦

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @anonforlackofabettername

slippy slidey! :)

text: Hockey is inherently the funniest sport cuz it's played on ice which is slippy

[tysonhos]

hockey is the best sport because ice is slippy bench is also slippy

also lmao

[red-man-of-mustache]

"Rib....bit??" Were these his final moments?? Did he make a mistake being who he truly was inside? Those unfortunate blue eyes expanded to try and assess what may happen...

Gently holds frog like hamburger . Holds little froggy man like HIMBUGGER .

[rrickgrrimes8]

Skater

summary: crossing over a frozen lake shouldve been a simple task - not with a tonya harding fan

Joel Miller x platonic!reader -- gn!reader, except Joel calls reader babygirl

warnings: almost drowning, near death experience, angst, hurt/comfort, father figure! Joel, soft Joel

masterlist

request guidelines (new)

requests are open!

word count: 1.2k

Trailing behind Joel and Ellie, you hum an unfamiliar tune. You walked to the beat, hands flowing as the nameless song played through your mind. Joel shot you a look, rolling his eyes and told you to hurry up. 

You ignored him though and found yourself mesmerized by the snowy landscape. You had never seen this before – well you’d never seen anything before really. Growing up inside the QZ in a brainwashing school by FEDRA didn’t exactly allow you to see the world like you so desperately wanted to. It was as beautiful as you imagined. 

Yes, there was infected, clickers, raiders, bloaters but none of that mattered as you walked through the forest with your new family. You had lost another part of your family months prior - Henry and Sam - and your heart still ached for them. Ellie’s did too. Joel, on the other hand, was stoney and stoic as usual. 

The teen stared ahead at the frozen over lake, a frown on you face. “We’re going over this?” 

Joel grunted in response, stepping forward to show them it was okay. 

Ellie went next, holding out her hand for you. “We’re okay,” She assured, “C’mon.” 

You sucked in a harsh breath and nodded, taking your first of many steps. 

“Did you ever ice skate, Joel?” You asked, slipping as you did. 

Joel quirked a brow and glanced over his shoulder, “How do you know about ice skating?” 

“Books,” You shrugged, “Found a book on Tonya Harding.” 

“Christ, haven’t heard that name in a while,” He chuckled. 

“Who was she?” Ellie spoke up, confused. 

“Ice skater… amongst other things,” He told them. 

“So have you?” You repeated, eyes flickering to either side of the lake – where the sun was falling and the bright hue was getting lost behind the terrain. 

“I have,” He confessed, “Once or twice.” 

“Really?” You perked up, “What was it like?” 

“Slippy,” He remarked, trudging over the ice – halfway at this point. 

“Sick,” The teen muttered, “I woulda loved to, you know?” 

“Still time, kid,” He shot you an earnest look before grunting, “We should speed this up though, lights going.” The teens nodded, Ellie quickening so she was closer to Joel. 

You stayed slightly behind though, willing yourself to glide rather than walk on the ice. Joel said there was still time and there’s no time like the present, right? 

You let your right foot lead, stumbling on your first go but quickly catching yourself. You tried again, soon after, and slid for way longer. “Joel, Ellie look,” You exclaimed, ready to do it again. 

“Just walk, kid,” He rolled his eyes, not sparing you a glance. Ellie too continued to walk on, arms wrapping around her chest to warm her. 

Pouting slightly, you paused before forming a perfect idea – you just needed to catch up to them and then they’d see. You straightened your back, lifted your foot from the ground before heavily stomping it down and began to glide, faster than before. 

It was going well at first – maybe a little clumsy as you closed in on the oblivious pair. 

But then you heard a crack, and without even a second to call for Joel, you felt a rush of cold, painful water. 

Ellie sighed as they neared the ¾ mark, turning to speak to her friend – breath catching in her throat when she heard the same crack. She snapped her gaze to you but felt an overwhelming fear grip her when she realized all there that was left was an empty space and a gaping hole in the ice. 

Having not heard, Joel continued, only stopping when he heard Ellie screaming your name. Wasting no time, he span to face them but was only met with Ellie, who was sprinting over to a hole in the ice. “No,” He shuddered, realization hitting him. 

Joel ran faster than he thought he was capable in that moment. His breathing was heavy in his chest, ears ringing – missing the panicked yells from Ellie – and collapsed beside the hole. He called your name, shakily and frantically – hand plunging into the freezing water, struggling to grab you. Joel felt a strange sensation overwhelm his chest – a fear he hadn’t felt since he lost Sarah. 

Forcing back some tears, he dived into the abyss – Ellie screaming as he did. He had forgotten how hard it was to open your eyes underwater but he ignored the burning and searched for a glimpse of you. And it didn’t take long. You were there – still, unmoving, corpselike. He almost let out a sob as he saw you – pushing against the liquid and pulling you into his arms. 

Joel got the pair of you out the water quickly, lying you against the ice as Ellie watched in fear, tears welling up. Looking at you then, Joel felt as if he was too late and maybe he was – he eyed your chest, motionless. It didn’t rise or fall, and your eyes didn’t open. 

The world seemed to vanish for a moment for Joel. His vision blurred and his body moved on autopilot. Hands finding your chest, he began to beat down on it – recalling briefly some first aid training he received 30 years ago. You didn’t move as he continued the chest compressions. 

“C’mon, baby,” He cried for what felt like the first time in 20 years (it probably was), “Come back to me. Come back, babygirl.” 

You looked dead, Ellie thought as she observed Joel’s attempts at saving you. She thought it was almost futile, that Joel couldn’t do a damn thing now and that terrified her. 

Lips finding yours, he forced a breath into your lungs, causing you to begin to splutter. Joel delicately, moved you onto your side as you continued to cough up the murky water. He let himself exhale as he helped you – you were here, you were alive, you were breathing. 

“Oh baby,” He called out to you, pulling you close to his chest. You seemed at once surprised by his actions before sinking into it soon after. The heat from his body radiated, quelling the shivers that didn’t seem to die down. “You’re okay,” He croakily voiced, more to himself than them, “Oh, babygirl, you’re okay.” You nodded against his chest. 

Ellie called out your name, tearfully and joined the pair of them, hand holding yours. “I thought you were dead, asshole,” She laughed but it seemed hollow – the comment far to genuine. 

“I-I wanted to skate,” You told them, “I w-was doing i-it.” 

“And you can’t do that again okay,” Joel scolded, “Damn near gave me a heart attack… no, you can’t do that to me- to us again.” 

“O-okay,” You shook, eyes closing as you snuggled into his chest. 

“Hey, b-baby,” He tapped your cheek, “You stay awake… keep your eyes on me.” 

You frown, groaning as your eyes felt so heavy, “S-so tired.” 

“Not yet, okay, baby?” Joel stressed, getting up – Ellie following with their bags on her shoulders, “We gotta get you warm first, okay?” 

“O-okay,” You mumbled, voice dazed and confused, “T-Thanks for s-saving me d-dad.” 

He inhaled sharply, more tears falling but he couldn’t bring himself to respond – the lump forming in his throat. All that mattered was getting you better. 

All that mattered was your life.