I’m scared of our own house
I’m scared of our house because it was never a home.
I wish I have a place where I could call my haven
A place where my heart would be at its most peaceful state
As steady as the sea in a hot summer day, while the boat--
my heart is not endangered to embark.
I’m scared of our own house because it was never a home.
I wish I have my own space, just a little square space
Where I could perform my own rituals
To evoke the enchantments I have been keeping all these years
To be freed from the threats of their outside religions.
I’m scared of our house because it was never a home.
I still wish even though I don’t know who am I asking
But I tell it: Can I rest in this place for tonight?
Can you help me stop the nervous beatings all over my body
Because I’m supposed to rest here, right?
I’m scared of our own house because it was never a home.
I will wonder if they ever see that they’ve been the ugly butterflies
Inside my stomach. A nauseating feeling coming from the immoral
Pretentions I could never be silent about. “Shut up!”
“You don’t know anything, you are too young!”
I’m scared of our own house because it was never a home
And because I will never shut up about the bent principles,
Unfair treatments between pink and blue, for all I see is red
That even though I was never heard and my lenses we’re
Naturally built from red-coloured pains. I won’t be silenced.
I’m scared of our own house because it was never a home.
For all I see is my life outside these walls I should feel safe in
For all I smell is the enthralling and the inviting aroma of freedom
For all I hear are words from people who understand, heart and mind
I’m scared because why do I need to feel like leaving?
I’m scared of our own house because it is not my home.
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Dear Brain,
Plz stop making me relive every embarassing/toxic/damn it should’ve played out like this- moment in my life. I would just like to go to sleep before 5am.
Love,
Sleepy girl
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Going a few days without pin mail makes me sad. Luckily I received some of my most awaited pins the other day and I couldn't be happier. @sharkcafeart and @theartthatran thank you both ♥️♥️ #enamelpins #hardenamelpins #kickstarterpins #sharksquad #pacificsleepershark #iwanttosleep #greatwhiteshark #imbaby #greenlandshark #toooldforthisshit #constellationprize #youtried #nointroneeded #helloimtired #naptop #blackcoffee #strongandsilentlybitter #lucy #elfenlied #cutebutdark https://www.instagram.com/p/CCwQX21B3if/?igshid=m849mjdcja8c
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I swear, my head hits the pillow for what feels like 4 minutes and then it’s time to wake up.
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Good night/day to y'all. Here's a little update in my crazy life. It's may 20th. Here in my country is 11:04 PM, and I got home like 2 hours ago after being in college since 7am. I lasted 12 hours there and I had to that twice a week. It's tiring. It's a mess but I think it's all worth it cause I'm getting closer to the end. I'm doing my thesis and sharing classes with my friends so it's a bit better. Here's a pic of what I learn in Photoshop class and the professor showed us the tool to make the picture look like a cartoon or something like that haha. It's weird and he told us to pick our fav artist so obviously I put a pic of my queen @taylorswift I hope you like it babe, I adore you.
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Ever had that moment where your head is just TOO FUCKING NOISY... that you can’t think
You can’t hear anything but that white noise....
You can’t see anything but that grainy view...
You can’t touch anything because it feels like you’re floating...
You can’t feel anything but that intense numbness and vast emptiness...
You can’t speak, can’t scream, can’t cry...
There’s nothing in you but that great nothingness that make you feel that
You
Are
Completely
ALONE
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