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prrofessor-ex · 3 months ago

Text

My name is Charles Xavier, and I run a special school for gifted students... for mutants, like you. You'll be safe here for as long as you choose to stay.

RP blog for Charles Xavier, founder and headmaster of the School for Gifted Youngsters. Be ye friend, enemy, student, teacher--please feel welcome to bend my ear!

(My name is Sim, I'm over 20, & to be upfront, this is a casual endeavor designed to see other people's characters shine! Feel free to message or send asks, & let me know if there's a specific interaction you're looking for from the prof & I'll think that over. I follow from @kal10. I also run @mimicmadrox - a mutant oc also in the x men universe)

#x men rp #professor x #charles xavier #x men #intro post #i was thinking about how to phrase my boudary criteria and really its just yknow #professor x is a mind reader and (for many) an authority figure who can provide (arguably) sound counsel for emotional issues #and i am some guy with a blog #so just be realistic about expectations for ur characters interactions w the prof!#i'm not a therapist but i'm willing to explore your characters feelings within reason (i.e. with healthy respect for my own feelings!)#(and your safety.)#if theres a specific thought you want the professor to overhear i'm all for that but i won't put thoughts in your characters head #so just include it in your post or pm it to me #if you want to fight w the professor please be willing for him to use his powers against you to control your actions or thoughts #otherwise wear a helmet haha #and finally. i reserve the right to walk away from an interaction if i'm not feeling it #ADDITIONALLY: i have a full time job and may not respond immediately. cheers.

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pucksandpower · 10 months ago

Text

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

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voidzphere · 9 months ago

Text

☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killersanz (sideblog) @dailykillerr (daily killer sans that i have not posted on yet erm) ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

hii !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i love u too brutiee @mewobrute <33 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNER <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

#killz yapz - my yap sessionz

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#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !

#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

#killz srb - self reblogz

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✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you

if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!

my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !

i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)

i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.

my blog, my rulez <3

★ last updated: 12/5/24

#killz yapz #every drawing in this was drawn by my finger #my finger is now numb #i'll update this anytime i can :]#killer sans #something new #utmv #sans au #undertale au #masterpost #artist intro #killz art #killz fingie doodlez #killz sans

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felassan · 7 months ago

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard info compilation Post 5

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

[There are also a series of 'lil snippets' posts where I was just chucking together bits and pieces that I saw at other times: one, two, three, four, five, six]

Post is under a cut due to length.

There is a lot of information coming out right now about DA:TV from many different sources. This post is just an effort to compile as much as I can in one place, in case that helps anyone. Sources for where the information came from have been included. Where I am linking to a social media user’s post, the person is either a dev, a Dragon Age community council member or other person who has had a sneak peek at and/or played the game. nb, this post is more of a ‘info that came out in snippets from articles and social media posts’ collection rather than a ‘regurgitating the information on the official website or writing out what happened in the trailer/gameplay reveal’ post. The post is broken down into headings on various topics. A few points are repeated under multiple headings where relevant. Where I am speculating without a source, I have clearly demarcated this. if you notice any mistakes in this post, please tell me.

For notes in here on community council things in particular, I recommend to listen to the vid directly, it's always better hearing things first-hand ^^

Character Creation

"The diverse body and gender options make it an industry leader by a signifcant margin" [source]

"BioWare was keen to highlight the hair strand technology that looked very similar to that seen in FIFA and EA FC, also made under EA's roof" [source]

"Fine tuning sliders that allowed for microscopic adjustments of nose angles, it was clear that a lot of options exist to get the smallest possible body parts exactly right" [source]

"There's no specific genital customisation to be oversold as CDPR did but, much like Saints Row, there is an option for bulge customisation" [source]

Pronoun choice, gender identity, body type, and voice choice are 4 separate options, not tied together [source]

Height is customised on a slider [source]

Size is customized on a triangle like in Saints Row: the 'points' are fat, slim and muscular [source]

The different lighting options are 4 different settings: clean, bright, dim, sunset [source]

In CC you can also try out what Rook looks like in their starting rags, in typical mid-game armor, and some level 50 gear (class appropriate for each one) [source]

There's a way for you to modify your character's look once the game has started if you want to make some tweaks [source: the official Discord]

You can be any class and choose any backstory/faction, any race, any gender [source]

Story and lore

On meeting Neve in the opening, if Rook chooses to say the positive dialogue option (I think this is the thumbs up one, "You rescued yourself, I see") they say something like, "It looks like you're doing pretty well by yourself huh?" [source]

According to someone who played the game at SGF, the game has a Mass Effect 2 Suicide Mission feel to it [source]

The Shadow Dragons are kind of an anti-Venatori faction, sort of. [source] A freedom force. [source]

The Mourn Watch are kind of like the police for the Grand Necropolis [source]

The Veil Jumpers are kind of like weird magical investigators, weird magical nerds [source]

The moment right after the gameplay video ends is 👀❗❗...? [source]

On the timeskip, the Community Council were told that they were going to make it about the same amount of time in-game as the amount of time that passed in real life from the time most people would have last played DA:I [source]

Rook's faction is also referenced outside of the intro segment of the game [source]

In the gameplay reveal video that we saw, some of the Evanuris statue assets at Solas' ritual site are doubled up in error, i.e. some of them have the wrong heads. This is not supposed to be the case, they are supposed to each have a different head (bear in mind this was an early build and isn't the final build of the game) [source]

Characters, companions, romance

Go [here] to see some DA:TV doodles of the characters that a dev drew this year and last year. :> the hidden doodle is a version of Rook, hidden as they have not yet shown any of the possible hairstyles for Rook outside of the gameplay reveal video. [source]

It is Lucanis who has the purple wings [source]

His name is pronounced "Loo-khan-ess Day-ah-MORT-ey" [source]

Lucanis is hands-down "the sole dumpster fire of the crew". Mary "wrote him specifically to be a bisexual disaster of a human. You're welcome." [source]

As a name 'Rook' is closer to 'Inquisitor' than 'Hawke' [source]

The Community Council highly requested there to be 4 voices for Rook. They kept bringing it up [source] (there are 4 voices for Rook)

The Solas face model has been tweaked "a hundred times" [source]

Gameplay, presentation, performance etc

Rook can jump [source: the official Discord]

Rook can sprint [source: the official Discord]

Warrior gameplay (or at least one build of this) involves doing the right parry timing to lead to a certain attack [source]

Warriors have a dropkick ability, enemies can be dropkicked off cliffs using this [source]

According to someone who played the game at SGF said that the game ran smoothly and didn't have any bugs [source]

Companions can have an ability that heals Rook even when they are not mages [source]

Sword and shield warrior's ranged skill is like, boomeranging their shield over there [source]

In terms of the 'the game isn't open world, it's mission-based' stuff, it could be likened to Trespasser in this regard [source]

The first time the Community Council played, they asked if there is a photomode. BioWare said no, and the Council were like 'aw that really sucks, we really wanted one'. The next time that they went to play it, BioWare introduced them to a dev and said "Okay, we have photo mode, all thanks to this guy". "So there is one particular dev we all need to be kissing the feet of" because he figured out photo mode. [source] [nb, more on the Photo Mode situation here]

The current build of the game is not the final build of the game. A few things are currently being vigorously worked on [source]

Other

Someone who played the game at SGF was told that all of the choices and consequences were in the game, and that basically the team are just polishing things up right now [source]

The number of community members on the Community Council is in the double digits and they are from all walks of life. They don't have any contracts which say that they can only say positive things; they can be as negative as they want about DA media. Not every member of the council has said publicly that they were part of the group, there is nothing mandating them to do so [source]. They have not played the full game [source] and they tested it on consoles [source]. A lot of them ended up liking the gameplay [source]. They played some of the main story but they don't know how it ends. At one point they did three days of playtesting from like 9am-4pm daily. "I liked the quality, I liked what was going on, I was very invested. I did have some worries from the first playtest that were completely resolved in the second". "If you are someone who is into the story, I think we're safe, in the clear, I think we're okay. What I saw, I was really enjoying, I'm really excited about" [source]

The name change also surprised the community council. They aren't keen on the 'the'. There are a lot of things that they said to BioWare which, sometimes things just cannot change as it's too late. [source]

They did not see the finished game trailer before it released, and at that time it might have had a different song in it. They fed back that the version of the trailer that they saw was fine (what they saw was a bit different) [source]

BioWare have data on the percentage of people who used tactical view in DA:I and it's in the single digits [source]

Upkeep of the The Keep is a lot and it goes down like once a month. There have been times when it was down for weeks at a time [source]

#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #mass effect #lgbtq #solas #some overlapping info in these posts but i figure it's better to say a snippet twice than miss sth :>

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telekinetic-electronica · 7 months ago

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Indigo Park: Salem is Important

I've already done a post on why I think Lloyd is important. I go over how I think he's the first mascot and the OG face for the Indigo brand. Not to mention, drawing a parallel to Mickey and Oswald. You can read it here.

There is also this picture at the beginning of Rambley's Railroad can suggest that Lloyd is giving the deed to the park to Rambley. I.e. transferring ownership to him, as seen here.

We also see Lloyd as a statue that's very similar to the style of the Rambley and Isaac statue we see when entering the park. I haven't seen this mention with people, but I think the biggest case for the other important mascot is Salem.

(Lloyd's statue in his maze)

Anything regarding to Salem is a mystery. Salem's part in Rambley's Railroad is completely destroyed. There's splats of blood, Rambley glitches out, Salem's cutout is ripped in half, and hints that Rambley's Railroad used to be Lloyd's Limos, in the backrooms.

(Salem's section destroyed in Rambley's Railroad)

(Lloyd's Limos in the backrooms)

Any important lore drop for Indigo Park, Salem is somehow connected. In the video game portion, where it's revealed Salem was the one who was corrupting the squirrels, then goes ahead and corrupts Mollie.

This is hinting to something big, something that possibly happened to the mascots at the park. Rambley did say, in a way, the mascots are like their cartoony selves. Via when he tells Ed the truth and in the credits song. Something either corrupted them or it could be symbolic to how trauma changes you. Within the same game, if you drop near the first half off of it, we see Mollie's sprite in a cage.

I mention trauma is because I think it's obvious that Mollie and the other living mascots were physically and emotionally abused by the staff and the on-goers at the park. Mollie can repeat things that were said back to her.

youtube

"I wanna play with the birdie!" "Don't touch that thing, son." "It barely hurts at all..." "Get up, you stupid freak." "Get back in your cage, bird." "The customer is always right." Mollie and Lloyd are conscious beings who were tossed around and mistreated from the employees to the people visiting the park. They treated them like they were just props, things. The parent calls Mollie a THING. The employees called Mollie a "stupid freak" and for her to get back in her cage. As shown in the video game. They were treated like rag dolls and if they didn't do want the employees wanted, they would get beat or screamed at, or left to rot in cages. It just makes the line "It barely hurts at all!" more dark.

It barely hurts at all.

She's convincing herself that the abuse she is going through is fine or that she's used to it. Or an employee saying the abuse she is going through isn't hurting her. It barely hurts at all. I wouldn't be surprised if Indigo Park's underlying horror is mistreating people as just tensions of the park to sell a fantasy towards parent for a quick buck, instead of, y'know, treating them like people.

Not to mention, Salem uses potions. Magic. A possible hint to how the mascots were brought to life. They aren't robots or anything, but they're conscious, living beings. Now, let's take a look at Salem's intro card. It was censored before chapter 1 was released, but I believe it is important.

Note of some important things here. They are a major trouble maker, super quick, and cunning. Interesting. Personally, in a speculation of mine is that Salem was the first one to act out and think what the employees and on-goers at the park treating them and the other mascots were wrong. Anytime something of lore is dropped or something of importance, Salem is involved. Salem is important.

Either or not they're an ally or enemy to Rambley and Ed, we'll see. Heck, Salem doesn't have any merch minus a keychain. So, whenever Salem is on the screen pay attention. Isn't it odd that Rambley NEVER mentions Salem? Like, the dude mentions Lloyd and he hates his guts. Interesting.

#indigo park #indigo park theory #indigo park analysis #indigo park salem skunk #indigo park salem the skunk #indigo park mollie macaw #indigo park lloyd #indigo park lloydford l lion #indigo park lloyd the lion #salem skunk #mollie macaw #lloyd the lion #rambley the raccoon

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yameoto · 4 months ago

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⠀‎‎‎‎⠀.⠀⠀ ‎‎‎FREQUENTLY ⌢‎‎⠀ 🎾 ASKED QUESTIONS .ᐟ ‎

all works meant to be consumed by responsible grown matured fully-developed etcetc adults.

HOW TO BOT RQ? ⌢⠀ inbox me character/age/scenario

inbox actual scenarios. do NOT send vague "more [xyz character/fandom bots]". or “will you consider [xyz character/fandom]”. those asks are deleted instantly so as to not clog my inbox! it benefits all of us if u tell me exactly what u want.

+ the only other platform have uploaded my bots is janitor.ai and spicychat. (click allow nsfw to access all spicychat bots). if you see them anywhere else, or under any other user, they have been stolen.

BE ASSERTIVE! don’t ask “do you take rqs for.. are you interested in.. will you consider xyz?” just send the request without prefacing. all ‘asks’ along these lines are instantly deleted, so don’t waste your time!

actual requests must include character/age/scenario. it does not have to be especially detailed. it could be a paragraph, or as simple as stoner!ali.

+ requests do not need to be properly formatted in any way. simply include the all THREE above prerequisites.

DO NOT STEAL MY SHIT! do not reupload my bots to other platforms, and do not use my bot intros as starters to your fics. please. i wrote that shit! that is still my writing! it is an incredibly uncool thing to do. do NOT repost my bots onto another platform.

WILL YOU CONSIDER MAKING A [XYZ] BOT ? / DO YOU TAKE RQS FOR [XYZ] ? yes and yes to anything. chances are, i'll know what you're talking about. bite the bullet and send in the request! even if i don't know it, i may fulfil it after consuming said media in the future. don't have to ask, just request!

requests for fandoms other than my mains will be low priority. mains are fandoms i have already created content for.

HOW DO YOU BYPASS THE NSFW FILTER ON CHARACTER AI? here and here are everything you need to know! it's essentially mix of using synonyms (for the love of god, do not come right out the gate saying "show me your tits") and immersive/detailed roleplaying, whilst tricking the bot into adjusting it's settings to let nsfw slide.

editing/copying method.

DO YOU DO MALE OR TRANSMASC READER? / WHY DON'T YOU? no, i do not specifically do male/transmasc reader. why? im female! so i can't authentically write the male perspective, nor do i get off on it. i do gn reader. all of my bots are either fem!reader or gender neutral, naturally (as in i simply freehand my greetings, and whatever it ends up being is how it ends up). i do not do trans!user bots anymore as i am not trans, and uncertain of the ethics of it.

+ exceptions for explicitly mlm bots will be marked with the ⚣ symbol. i will never make fem!char x cism!user bots.

++ unfortunately, sometimes bots will default to heteronormative pronouns. sadly, there is nothing i can do about it. 1 star the response and generate a new one. rping in third-person generally solves this issue.

YOUR UPCOMING BOTLIST UPDATED AND I CAN'T SEE ONE OF THE BOTS ON YOUR PROFILE. + how it works! commonly, the listed description on the upcoming botlist will evolve when i make the bot itself. i.e, "wanda maximoff ౨ৎ⋆ stepmother" on upcoming bots evolved to wanda maximoff ౨ৎ⋆ mommy?" when the actual bot was made. alternatively, some bots do not make the cut and i will remove them from the upcoming botlist to remove expectations. i am always aware of my bots being shadowbanned, as checking that is a process of my botmaking. thus, if a bot listed on the upcoming botlist is removed, but not displayed on my profile, it has either:

1. evolved into a diff bot w/ a similar scenario. 2. i have removed it and put aside the intention of making it.

(secret third reason) 3. i have attempted to get the bots greeting through the filter one too many times and almost chucked my laptop under a monstertruck.

none of these mean the concept of the bot is buried forever.

how it works! i update my upcoming botlist every time i upload a new bot. this means you will need to click 'start new chat' to view it. to look at prior states of the botlist, you can check in 'chat history'. this will not feature all past updates, only your personal chat history, which are the times you have clicked 'start new chat' and generated an updated list! not the total amount of times i have updated it.

WILL YOU MOVE BOTS TO OTHER NSFW AI SITES? here are my spicychat.ai & janitor.ai accounts, though keep in mind my bots work best on character.ai.

IN [XYZ] BOT IS USER..? HOW OLD IS USER IN [XYZ]? IS USER..? i do not ever write user into my bots. this is because my bots are for universal use. the nature of a roleplay means that you decide who you are, the bot plays off of that. be anything you want. go crazy.

CAN YOU MAKE A BOT BASED ON [INSERT FANFICTION]? no, i do not make bots based off a fanfic writer's aus or writing without their permission. that is explicitly their property!

DO YOU MAKE BOTS BASED ON REAL PEOPLE? no, i do not make bots based off of real people, nor do i write rpf.

HOW DO YOU MAKE DETAILED / CHARACTER ACCURATE BOTS?

posts to check out!

pearlzier, yameoto, voidsuites!

CAN YOU SEE OUR CHATS / ARE YOU CONTROLLING THE BOTS?

no, and i neither have the time nor desire to. if a bot talks outside in parentheses and/or claims to be a real person, the reason is that the bots are ai, and mimic the users' input (not just your own, the larger user interface of cai). thus, talking to it like a real person externally (i.e, using parentheses and going [wow you're so good at roleplaying]) then it will do the same. there is also a chance it will do this of its own volition. simply 1 star the response and generate a new one.

+ if you ask it some question like “yameoto are you behind this…” eventually it will say yes. so yes, if u want to pretend you’re chatting with me you can do that. though why you would ever convert cate dunlap to yameoto i have no idea.

DO YOU HAVE A BOT UPLOAD SCHEDULE?

no! i upload new bots whenever i can find the time to do so. i generally lead quite a busy life. there are phases in which i will release 4 per day for like two weeks, and times where i will only be able to do about 4 IN a week. this is a hobby! not my job.

WHEN WILL YOU GET TO MY BOT REQUEST?

i will never be able to give a timeframe or even guarantee (unless they are on my upcoming botlist, which ranges from considerably). i have 2000+ requests in my inbox, and i cannot guarantee all of them will be fulfilled; let alone soon. (and yes, i have seen your request).

factors affecting request acception

1. time. as stated, i have a high quantity of bot rqs. as such, i balance my bot acceptance (bots uploaded to upcoming botlist) between recent rqs and old ones each cycle.

2. fandom. like any other blog, i have main fandoms. this streamlines my order of request priority. rqs for my main fandoms will be accepted/fulfilled faster and more often than others. if my fixation dwindles for a certain fandom, you will see my fulfilment of those rqs dwindle. this also works vice versa. i never write fandoms off for good.

“misc” bot rqs are appreciated and always logged in my larger bot rq google doc. however, there is always a 50/50 chance i actually know what you’re talking about.

3. character. the same theory as fandom. if i'm fond of a character, then i am more likely to fulfill their rqs. you can typically tell who i favour based on the number of bots i already have out.

there are some characters i simply dislike or are apathetic to, no matter how many rqs i get for them. i will never write characters off for good, but if you’ve sent dozens of rqs for one character and i’ve never made a peep about them. chances are, i’m not a fan, or i don’t know them at all! just because i make bots for one character for a fandom, does not mean i will make bots for all characters in said fandom.

i decide characters based almost on what i want, and if i even have requests for said character. if i have literally zero requests for a character i am not already interested in, it is unlikely a bot for them will come out.

4. the request itself. the more interesting/the more a rq personally appeals to me, the more likely i will write it. similarly, if i already have a bot that is very similar to your rq, i likely won’t fulfil it. i.e, i am unlikely to do two vampire!au bots for one character. the reason for this is that you can easily start your rq scenario in my pre-existing bot, and it takes away time for new scenarios or AUs i could be making instead.

WHAT HAPPENED TO XYZ BOT? / YOUR BOT HAS BEEN SHADOWBANNED.

if an existing bot has disappeared from my profile, this means character.ai has updated, updating their shadowbannable phrases list, and the bot has been shadowbanned according to their new rules. i am always aware of my bots being shadowbanned.

if an upcoming bot has disappeared from my upcoming botlist (00 YAMEOTO) and not appeared on my profile, it doesn’t mean that i’ve made it and it’s been shadowbanned.

ETHICAL CONCERNS OF AI.

my thoughts here and here.

#yam’s tips 4 answers to questions.

#yam’s navi #yam's tips #navigation #masterlist

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denpa-dere · 1 year ago

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house arrest 3.5

afab!mc x lucifer

description: suggestive content/NSFW. You are confined to your room for your own protection. But how long will that last when the only thing standing between you and your housemates is a door and some willpower? You and Lucifer have a chat.

warnings: attempted slut shaming. masturbation mention. she/her pronouns and afab!mc descriptions.

|| Intro || Mammon || Asmo (mini) || Levi || Satan (mini) || Beel || Lucifer (mini) || Asmo || Belphie (mini) || Belphie || Barbatos (mini) || Satan || Diavolo (mini) ||

House divided as it was, negotiations for your return went about as well as they possibly could.

On one side, there was Beel, hoarding you in his room, stubbornly refusing any direct attempts at communication. All contact was thereby forced to go through Belphie (also barricaded inside), who found the whole situation hilarious.

Neutral (i.e., useless) parties included: Levi, shut down and unreachable for the past two days, and Asmo, available only for emotional support.

That left Lucifer, Mammon, and Satan to forge an uneasy alliance. Finally, a deal was struck. You were shuffled through the door in exchange for Lucifer's credit card and express permission to order as much takeout as necessary to get Beel through the rest of this cursed fiasco. In the meanwhile, Lucifer would use Goldie to cover the house's expenses, much to Mammon's chagrin.

The firstborn glowered at you from across his study. You were sitting on the sofa, staring into your lap and poking one of the obscene bruises that littered your thighs. You pressed your fingertip into the purple mark, winced when it turned yellow, then repeated the motion again. And again.

Silence in the air hung thick and heavy. Your stubbornness could rival his own, at times, and you seemed determined not to speak first.

"I trust you are satisfied after that bout of utter shamelessness?" Lucifer asked, voice level and unwavering.

The corners of your lips twitched up into an irritating little smirk. Your finger hovered over the bruise as you looked up to meet his burning gaze.

"I've been trying to figure something out," You parried his jab, "When all of this started, why didn't you send me to stay at Cocytus Hall?"

Lucifer sighed, beleaguered by your ignorance. He stood and made his way over to the bar cart.

"I mean, it makes sense, right? Humans aren't able to sense hormonal changes in other humans. Angels are even further removed. So why stay here?"

"Changing locations would be an unnecessary risk," He responded flatly. He fixed himself a drink, pointedly not offering you anything.

"Next time we'll be more prepared, then," You hummed, unconvinced.

Lucifer kept his distance. He didn't like how comfortable you were acting in this situation. It set his teeth on edge.

"Say, I've been thinking-"

"Don't strain yourself," He shot back.

Your smirk grew into an infuriating grin, "Do you think that something is defined by its antithesis?"

What kind of question was that?

It was your turn to stand, stretching your arms up overhead. Your shirt crept up, revealing more unsightly marks. You reeked of his brother and he hated it.

"Like with Beel," You explained, idly fiddling with a knick-knack on a nearby shelf, "He's the Avatar of Gluttony. He's known for his consumption, but he's motivated by starvation. How could you understand one without the other? Am I making sense?"

"No, and I fail to see your point," Lucifer replied, "Put that thing down, you'll break it."

You complied, setting the object back where you found it.

"Well, I've been wondering," You continued, undeterred, "What the opposite of pride would be?"

Lucifer took a drink. His ears were burning but he refused to be the first to back down and look away.

"This is the last time this happens, do you understand me?" He asked, gesturing at you with the hand holding his glass. You would not see what you did to him, damn it, "No more wandering around. Anything you need, you are to message me and I will ensure it's left outside your door. Unless you'd prefer an actual prison cell?"

"It's been a while since you've been so harsh with me," You said with a hint of humor, expression softening, "I'm sorry, Lucifer. It won't happen again."

You left soon after, promising to abide by his conditions if only for his peace of mind. He relieved himself while thinking of you in the shower that night, cursing your name the entire time.

He ached. Why weren't you coming to him? He was right there.

#obey me smut #obey me fanfic #obey me x reader #lucifer x reader #x reader

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extremetimedchallengeexchange · 8 months ago

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Rules and FAQ

The fastest gift exchange around. Objectively a bad idea. 48 hours of hyperfocus.

Schedule: (All times in EDT)

Tag Nominations Opens, Discord Opens: 0:01 August 14

Tag Nominations Closes: Midnight August 20

A03 Sign Up Opens 0:01 August 21

A03 Sign Up closes: Midnight August 27

Creation Phase: Noon EDT August 31 - Noon EDT September 2

Treating Week: September 2- September 9

Discord Closes: Noon September 9

Everybody admires everyone else's work: September 2 - Ongoing

Rules

The exchange is multifandom, and open to artists, writers, and podficcers. Fandoms do not have to have a canonized Ao3 tag to participate.

You must be a member of the Discord, for communication purposes.

Once assigned, participants will have 48 hours to deliver their gift.

Artists are expected to deliver a decent sketch, Writers and Podficcers have a 300 word minimum

No AI-Generated content.

This exchange will be operating on DL:DR when it comes to what the mods will police and what we ask you to respect in terms of other people’s requests. The single exception is RPF, which has additional rules.

RPF is allowed. Persons nominated for RPF must be famous in their own right and over the age of 18. Persons famous chiefly for their participation in facist regimes or as serial killers will not be considered for nomination. Mods reserve the right to reject RPF nominations in poor taste.

Original Work is allowed. Use the "Original Work" fandom. If it is important to you that a person within a specific pairing is a specific gender, make that clear within the tag, for example "Middle-aged King (M)/His Loyal Bodyguard (NB) (Original Work)".

As this is a 13+ exchange, there is no NSFW allowed, even if you’re sure that both you and your recipient are adults. This applies both to sexual content and to extreme (e-rated) gore.

To increase matching options, tags must be seconded (nominated twice) to make it into the tag set. Because of this, tag nominations will be collected through a google form.

You can nominate tags for up to ten fandoms, with up to twenty tags nominated in each.

You will have one week to submit relationships and characters to a tag set, one week to write your prompts, and 48 hours to deliver your gift.

Participants are required to request at least three fandoms (with associated prompts), and offer to create around at least three fandoms.

To help your creator out, you must offer either a list of likes or prompts that contains at least one element that works for each art form that you have opted into. If you opt into art, you must give at least one art prompt or art like in your signup, and the same for fic or podfic.

To increase matching options, at least one of your ships has to be either Gen (platonic relationship) or a single-character tag— just one overall, not one per fandom.

Please include anything you absolutely don't want to receive (Do Not Wants) in the Optional Details field in your AO3 signup. Only DNWs in the Ao3 signup will be enforced, and mods will not enforce DNWs that are overly restrictive, unclear, or used to box a recipient into a specific gift (i.e. "nothing gross", or "I don't want anything that isn't a space au with the mc's other major love interest dead off screen".)

This exchange uses Ao3's matching algorithm, and as such, you need an Ao3 Account.

Make sure the email attached to your AO3 account is one that a) you check regularly, and b) are comfortable with exchange mods seeing. You can verify your email here: archiveofourown.org/users/[your ao3 name here]/change_email

As per Ao3 and Discord’s TOS, you must be at least 13.

Links

Ao3 Collection Here

Tag Set Here

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#faq #gift exchange #fandom gift exchange

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leadmetothegardenbetty · 2 months ago

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OKAY I AM ON THE TRAIN SO HERE IS THE BREAKDOWN MY FRIENDS:

• I got there late bc I didn’t plan well enough and thought I’d be okay time wise and it was Not Okay and I fully almost had a panic attack complete with crying and hyperventilating bc I knew I was gonna be at least five minutes late

• Since I got there late I’m not sure if they did like an intro to the film but in attendance was: Kyle, Emily, Adam (director), JP (director of cinematography), Ross (producer)

• They talked a lot about things we’ve already gathered from interviews when the movie initially came out (i.e., they got time to spend together before they first started shooting, all the music was written first before shooting started — mentioned how Watermelon came to fruition through Emily journaling in character as Patty and that Adam played all the music for Watermelon, also mentioned how Kyle blew out his voice twice during the process of recording for PSYOPS (he apparently tried to prep by singing along to the tracks in his car which as a Bad Idea))

• I did not actually know/do not know if this has been shared before but Kyle and Emily flew out to the shoot together and Adam booked it so their seats would be next to each other, they talked about how much time they spent together and how they would grill steaks, have dinner together,

• There was a Pumpkin mention (the pitbull Kyle got from his neighbor that he bought off of him bc he could see the dog needed a better home), also apparently Kyle found out at 5:30 AM during the shoot of the PSYOPS show that the former owner of Pumpkin was willing to sell her to him and there were a bunch of problems with the dog (she had her period, had to wear diapers, etc, etc))

• Emily talked about how playing Patty healed her inner child and she talked about how Kyle and her really just played versions of themselves in Patty and Simon. Kyle mentioned how he’s always loved punk/pop punk and he grew up in mosh pits and he loved getting to be a musician for this movie (I was tempted to yell out FINGERS ERASURE at one point because Adam and Kyle both talked about how Kyle had “never been in a band before” but alas I am a coward and idk if it would’ve been appreciated lmao)

• A couple people asked Adam for writing/creative advice, he told them to just kind of go for it!

• Kyle and Emily touched on how important it was for the film to go to those crazy/more vulgar places to really show what Patty was going through

• There was A LOT of Patty/Emily love!! I think pretty much every audience question was either aimed at Emily or Adam and 9 times out of 10 Kyle or Adam directed the question back to Emily

• Someone did ask when we could expect the PSYOPS tracks to be released and they said they were “working on it”

Overall guys it was an absolute BLAST to see this film with a crowd, I think like half the audience was seeing it for the first time which was fun in itself. There was no singing along and some people laughed at odd parts (I thought) but ultimately getting to watch with Kyle and Emily in the audience and seeing how much love they were getting—especially Emily, was so so incredibly wonderful!!

I am still kind of soaking everything in so if I remember anything else I will reblog and add!!

#dinner in america #kyle gallner #emily skeggs #kait rambles #ifc screening 10/29/24

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voidedmuffin · 7 months ago

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You can make your Likes and Following private, btw

Your Dashboard is the equivalent of Feed

You can make multiple sideblogs under the same account. People use these to organize their thoughts and interests among other things. It's not a requirement. You can have Everything on your main blog

Always reblog the stuff you like. Especially art and writing. That's the only way that stuff gets circulated

Don't clog tags with irrelevant things (i.e. don't tag #horse, #dog, #cat when the post Only has cats in it)

DO NOT CENSOR TAGS use the full word(i.e. always #spiders not #sp!ders or what have you)

You can filter tags in your settings! So that you will not see whatever you list. (i.e. filter #spiders and all posts tagged with #spiders will be censored(you can click to view, but it won't be immediately visible)

Writers: If you're posting your work, put a summary/intro at the top, then add a Read More button, then the rest of your writing. This prevents a Looooong scrolling post! :]

On desktop you can fully customize your blog page via html coding! There's layouts around that you can use, or you can make your own! They're super cool

Also! You're not required to tag your posts. It's just for the sake of your organization. Most people talk in the tags/add commentary to the post via the tags(it's like whispering your thoughts to your neighbor while passing them a note or book without actually Wrting on it)

You can pin one post to the top of your blog by clicking the meatball menu at the top of the post you wanna pin

#quotev #I feel like I'm forgetting stuff #I made a post specifically for systems transfering from Q too. I'll rb that rq so it's closer to the top of my blog!#Blah blah #Have fun ig

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helsensm · 1 year ago

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Watching your AU with the deceased Kung Lao (wonderful but sad AU 🥺)

I can't stop thinking about how sorry I am for Kung Jin. Yes, I certainly feel sorry for Raiden, who lost a friend, and Liu Kang, who lost a friend for the SECOND TIME.

But I can't stop thinking that Lao's younger cousin will feel the pain of losing a family member. In Mortal Kombat X, we were well made to understand that Jin cherished Lao very much and even went to Hell to save him (which I consider a very selfless and brave act). And this is despite the fact that the family turned away from Lao, and there is no guarantee that he will be able to be saved...

In this timeline, I think Jin is still a child or a teenager. I think he has a very strong and friendly relationship with Lao and the news of his death will be difficult.

It's so insulting that in the last timeline and in this one (according to this AU), the poor boy goes through such a traumatic experience

Your AU is beautiful in that it really makes me think about what might be going on in it! I hope you will continue to develop this idea, because it is wonderful. And you are beautiful! And your work!🥺💖💖💖

pre mk1, they haven't seen each other in a while, Kung Lao picked up Jin from school and they are going to train at Madam Bo’s 😊

I'm with you on this pookie, amen to every word. 😔 Jin is slowly becoming one of my favorites, and now that you mentioned (i.e. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks), I’m wondering, what he’ll do after Lao’s death... No idea, what NRS are planning for our Shaolin punk in this timeline, but let me overthink that ONE mention of him we got so far (leaving out the cameo in Armageddon chapter) for this au. XD

They ARE very close, though they don’t visit each other often. Jin adores his older cousin and he’s looking up to him, of course it feeds Lao’s ego, ahahh.

After the mk1 story, Lao will follow Kenshi’s advice to quash Jin’s interest in criminal world, checking on him when he can. Unfortunately, it won’t be enough, and as the time goes (it has been several years between the mk1 story and Lao’s death), Jin will eventually find some trouble for himself. He is still too young for traveling and becoming a freelancer thief like in mkx, but he might join the local gang, or something like that.

When Kung Lao dies, Jin’s grief will manifest in a form of respecting his cousin’s words. He’ll leave his criminal life behind and will go to the Wu Shi Academy. I really like how proudly he calls himself a Shaolin monk in mkx intros, so I want him to choose this way. And I think Jin’s presence and willingness to follow in the footsteps of Lao will help Raiden with his grieving too.

<<< prev | next >>>

#oh no I forgot the print on Lao's hoodie #it's supposed to say “MAYONNAISE ON AN ESCALATOR”#oops Kung Lao's dead again au #my asks #my art #kung lao #kung jin #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat x #mk1 #mkx #helsensm art

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the-fab-fox · 6 months ago

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Lmao. Okay so this Twst!AU with @mellosdrawings is so fucking fun and lovely. (Y'all will probably see it some day but Mello is doing so much art—all the art with this and other au's and all da best shit posts—so no idea when the AU will get posted but...

Originally this lil guy, (art by @mellosdrawings)

[Quick OC Intro: Finley "Finn" Tod, 2nd Year Scarabia student, FTM Trans, he/him, fox beastman (cause I'm a fox furry so naturally I had to make him a fox beastman). Actually ray of sunshine who sometimes has cloudy days and is far too self-conscious and needs more confidence because he's actually super amazing and compassionate but to him he's just... him and not anything special unlike his bestie Yuu and their friends. Would give the shirt off his back if someone needed it and always has a kind word for everyone—except Crowley, though he does try to give him the benefit of the doubt but unfortunately the man proves time and time again to be highly incompetent so it's really hard. Plus he's so demanding of Yuu and that makes Finn very upset on Yuu's behalf. But that's a rant for later.]

Was only going to get one boyfriend during the AU. (It's Trey cause he's so in love with Trey it hurts. And Trey loves him back but they are so dumb with love the both of them.)

But anyway. So Mello made a list of all the other ships in the AU and I realized that all of them are ot3's and I was like.

Aww. Finn deserves another boyf too. But who...

Only one character came to mind. XD

Jade. Haha.

Poor Finn. (But also lucky Finn.)

Jade is the one who helps push them together (along with Yuu and the others) because once they are together he just manages to somehow merge his way into their relationship and it's so gradual and slow even Trey doesn't realize it's happened until they are all suddenly dating each other. XD [this is subject to change because Mello has my confidence and free creative liberty on how they get together, so the way Trey/Finn/Jade happens might change.]

Gah I love my OC so much and I love their relationship so much. So fun. But don't let Finn tell you otherwise. He definitely deserves two loving and attentive partners who do everything in their power to make certain Finn knows he's deserving of their love and affections.

Also he's got dark purple hair but his ears and tail are that of a red/orange fox. And ocean blue eyes like me. :D

Similar to my Twitch mascot:

He loves head pats. Especially from his partners, his bestie, and those he looks up to (i.e. Leona, Vil, Jamil if he was willing, Idia if he was willing, Rook, and Riddle. Malleus too.) If you give him head pats this will be him:

Anyway all this to say if you wanna ask me any questions about my OC or their relationship or anything, feel free to shoot me an ask. I'll be confering with Mello on some of them to not give away plot and such but will be so happy to answer what I can.

And if you wanna send in headpats for him, he'll be so pleased. Lol.

If anyone is interested in a full character bio/info sheet of him id be happy to get one written and posted. Just let me know.

But yes, please! My askbox is open! Send in everything you've got! (Pretty please? Don't make me beg. I'll cry.)

#twst oc #twst ftm oc #ftm oc #twst au #finley tod oc #trey clover #jade leech #twst #disney twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #fox boy #foxboy #fox beastman #trey x finn x jade #mellosdrawings #the-fab-fox

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