#i. tyler + brooke

[talesofcrypt]

outside of campus. option two. ft. brooke maddox @horrorsluts

(plot idea: brooke could leave with the viper as a form of payback lol)

Tyler didn't know how he felt about Brooke's meltdown at the diner. He was conflicted with his heart and hearing her say that she was done with him. It sounded final. Therefore, instead of pushing back like he did in Lakewood, Tyler let the space between them grow. It's been a little over 24 hours now. Tyler was leaving campus with another guy following close behind. "Give me another shot, dude, come on." The man complained after being cut from the Vipers. He was hostile and rebellious. A devoted follower of Eli and his old ways. Not someone Tyler wanted to represent them anymore. "My word was final." Tyler wanted to leave but someone boxed him in. There was no wiggle room to get out of his spot. "Can you at least give me a ride then?" Tyler shook his head no and the man clenched his jaw. After a few more seconds, Tyler recognized the car parked in front of his was Brooke's. With Tyler being a dickhead, the ex-viper set his eyes on the incoming blonde. Maybe she'll give him a ride.

[talesofcrypt]

The last person Tyler was expecting to see at Davey's Diner was Brooke. Then again, with her enrollment at Westham University, the likeliness of running into her around the southside has increased tremendously. "What are —" Before Tyler could even finish his sentence, he was stunned into silence by Brooke's sharp tongue which ( for the time being ) was directed solely at Chloe. He didn't expect them to know each other but the more he thought about it the more sense it made. They were all around the same age. It wasn't unlikely that Chloe and Brooke shared a few classes at school.

"What does Jake have to do with this? What is going on here?" Tyler could see the tension in Brooke's jaw and the way her hands were balled into tiny fists. "I was helping her with her phone. Her nephew broke it and she paid me 30 bucks to fix it." He wasn't going to turn down a client just because they were of opposite sex. However, judging by the heated exchanges it was apparent it was much more than that. There was history - what kind? Tyler wasn't sure.

Things with Tyler weren't the best they've ever been. But they certainly weren't the worst either. Ever since Eli grew more and more sick, to the point the only thing keeping him alive was a machine -- Tyler's had to step up and take over. It was his birthright and he assured Brooke, he was only doing so to make things better and safer for them. At the time, Brooke didn't think to question it, or realize (and probably neither did he) how much commitment that would take. One cancelled date quickly snowballed into another and now, it almost felt like they were growing apart rather than closer together, after fighting so hard to rekindle things. It didn't help that Brooke felt extra lonely lately because Jake betrayed her and Isadora was no longer her friend.

It seemed that, Nina's plan to destroy Brooke by taking away every important person in her life was slowly, working. When she came into Davey's Diner to grab her to go order, she expected it to be a five second trip. Instead, as she was leaving, a familiar voice grabbed her attention and pulled it towards them. As did the little misshap transpiring between her boyfriend and her arch-nemesis. Not only was seeing them together sketchy at best but, something about it, just didn't sit right. Brooke was quickly learning that she couldn't trust ANYONE in her life as far as she could throw them.

"Hi," Like a cat, Brooke snuck up behind Tyler's back, and felt him bump into her when he tried to get around her to grab more napkins for clumsy Chlo-chlo. Only when he stepped out of her way, did Brooke's eyes finally lock on her true target. Amidst Tyler's shock (or so she presumed) -- Brooke told herself she'd deal with his traitorous excuses and explanations later. Right now, her focus was fixated solely on Chloe and whatever pathetic ploy she was up to now. "Are you fucking serious right now? What, did you get bored with Jake already and now you're onto MY boyfriend? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you that obsessed with me and my life, that you can't get your own and you have to keep INSERTING yourself into mine?" Brooke was seconds away from grabbing her mortal enemy by the hair and clocking her one time in her ugly, fake face. Frankly, it would be well deserved and long overdue.

@chloexquinn / @talesofcrypt

[aq2003]

Is that the end of it? The Time War?

[userlaylivia]

I'm not including steroline because in my mind they are endgame same with jax/tara and merder because whenever meredith dies she'll be with derek!! I didn't include barchie or bhva because all were endgame imo and didn't include klamille or klayley or haylijah because I ship all three and didn't want competing ships lol and spuffy was endgame in the comic books lol in my mind karamel is endgame because she can go where he is anytime but I included them anyway lol and handon is endgame in my mind as well because they would've been!! I included brylan because even though I consider them endgame because they were supposed to be and now luke/shannen are gone I consider them to be but I needed to fill a space lol

@makeyouminemp3, @nikkiruncks, @bellamyblake, @okmcintyre, @stydixa

[soulcheri]

closed starter for tyler o'neill @hallowcked

It'd been a few days since the carnival debacle from hell, where Brooke got chased by some psycho-assailant in a mask. Ever since then, she's been convinced the person hiding under the cloak was Seth. Not only had she recognized the boots (which she felt she'd seen him wear once), but him threatening to expose her in his art show and after having learned of his past in Georgia... it just made the most sense - investigative wise.

Staying at Eli's with Tyler after that event, while it had been amazing - didn't last long. As much as Brooke wanted to permanently move in with him and stay trapped inside forever, they both knew she couldn't do that and keep up appearances still. Jake, who made it clear he was spying on her from next door, would've gotten suspicious. And Gage already was. He felt Brooke pulling away. While Brooke was having a hard time convincing those around her, her mind wasn't preoccupied with someone else.

"What's this?" After receiving his text to let her know he was just around the corner waiting, Brooke practically sprinted out the door to get to him. She was so excited to finally throw her arms around her boyfriend again and attack his mouth that she didn't stop for air until she absolutely needed it.

Shortly after their little reunion dwindled down, Brooke noticed the bouquet of roses waiting for her in his passenger seat. "You brought me flowers?" The wattage of her smile grew three times it's natural brightness. Brooke had to remind herself they were on a time crunch when she leaned over the seat, pressed a hand to his thigh and captured his lips in another mouthwatering kiss.

[hallowcked]

BEACH HOUSE DREAM

As the three families arrive at the beach house on the fourth of July, the group separates to get refamiliarized with their summer rooms. Myles being the gentleman that he is, carries both his and Vera's luggage to their room. While passing Monica on the stairs, he gives her a wink. Jake's room wasn't as impressive as his parents' room but, the luxury was built into the memories he made here. From the wine stain on the carpet to the burn mark on his comforter, every small detail has its own story to tell. Tyler's room was darker but, no less luxurious. He wasn't into the bright, beachy aesthetic but, loves the shore and their home just as much as everyone else, if not more. This is where he gets to spend more time with her. The Maddoxs, McKenzies, and the Fitzgeralds are all supposed to be one big united family but, Tyler's always had a crush on the pretty-eyed blonde, who's smile is more beautiful than anything he'll see on vacation. Jake would agree, and unfortunately for him, Tyler beat him to her bedroom, offering to help her with her luggage. "You know you don't have to pack your whole room to bring to the beach, right?" Although teasing, he's also being serious. If it weren't for him getting into boxing and fitness, he would of had to use both hands to carry her suitcase up the stairs. After a few minutes of small talk, Tyler leans his back against the wall, emotionally struggling to open up. "Can I ask you a more serious question?" He's been dying to ask her to be his girlfriend for a while now. He even brought his most prized possession with him to give to her; a necklace with silver boxing gloves. He won the necklace in a grueling competition. Knowing he's adopted means always thinking he's not good enough. Winning the competition made him realize he could be. At the end of the day it's just a necklace, though. The only person who makes him feel seen is Brooke. So he modified the chain a few weeks ago by adding a second charm to it; a pair of silver ballerina slippers. This way they'll always be together.

@soulcheri

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

The Waters of Mars Rewatch

I've already ranted about this to @witchofthemidlands but just need to write down my thoughts after rewatching The Waters of Mars yesterday

When you write this episode, Rose, The Parting of the Ways/Bad Wolf, Army of Ghosts/Doomsday, Smith and Jones, Partners in Crime, Midnight, the entire S4 ending, THE END OF TIME you can have as many Slitheen fart jokes as you'd like Mr. RTD *bravo*

Also, I'm losing my mind as to why Ten went to Mars specifically, could it have been b/c Jackie and Donna always said he was from Mars?? And he really was making an effort to leave initially and not affect history...it's fascinating to see his final response as more and more people die compared to, for example, Voyage of the Damned. He's really at a point in his life where he's been broken down enough that he loses it completely

This SHOULD have been a two-parter episode there is so much to explore with the Mars crew and I even see parallels between them and the crew from the Impossible Planet two-parter it would have been wild to see the end of this episode paralleled with that storyline. Roman is like Toby, Yuri and Mia maybe like Danny, Ed definitely like Jefferson, Scheffi is like Scooti?, Adelaide like Zach etc. idk but I see a lot of parallels

My absolute favorite tiny detail is Ten expressing dislike for the robot but as soon as Roman talks about robot dogs he goes "actually hold up a moment" lol he will be loyal to K9

Adelaide is a badass I love her so much and I find the contrast between her and Lady Christina just one episode prior to be fascinating, I think Adelaide is exactly the type of person that Ten needed in his life at that exact moment

The Doctor speaking Martian...it's crazy how easily it could have turned into a Midnight 2.0 situation for him, I think Adelaide is the difference here she exudes so much authority

The fact that they took the time to focus the camera on Mia and Yuri holding hands, like 1 second only, but I go insane for that recurring theme in RTD's era especially considering how much that relates to timepetals and how distraught Ten is after losing Rose again and Donna

Speaking of Donna I love the Pompeii reference I could write essays about that as well as the mention of the Journey's End storyline with Adelaide as a child, RTD isn't hitting you over the head with it but you can definitely see all these links between what Ten lost in that episode and the Pompeii situation and his mental state in this episode aaahhhh what a masterpiece!!!

DT's acting in the final scene gives me CHILLS, he literally feels like an entirely different character as soon as he steps off the TARDIS, I feel the hairs on my body stand with the look in his eye. I am not a huge fan of Joan in the Human Nature two-parter but I think that was an interesting set of episodes and I also think it works solely b/c DT can very convincingly make you feel that John Smith is different from the Doctor even though there are some remnants there, same here in this episode. It's the Doctor but there's something there that is very un-Doctor.

[lilith--simmer]

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢���� 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵...

[demonsclub]

👗 brooke and tyler

"The bride is going to realize one of her bridesmaid's are missing." Tyler spoke teasing against Brooke's lips in between soft and clingy kisses. They were supposed to be rehearsing with the rest of the wedding but instead they were hiding in one of the empty rooms having needy sex over and over again. They've already dressed and redressed twice but still couldn't leave each other's warm embrace. It was Brooke's sexy dress that accentuated her lean legs and Tyler's dark suit that made him look like a smooth-talking Bond villain. They were each other's addiction and they needed an intervention. But anyone in their way became collateral damage. "How'd you learn how to tie a tie?" Tyler asked while Brooke crossed the two ends left to right. Even on her tippy toes she could barely reach his neck. "My father. I'd always choose his suit and tie. He has horrible fashion sense." She smiled up at him and Tyler bit his bottom lip as his fingers ghosted along her thigh until he found the hem of her panties to play with. "I never learned. That's why I never wear one." He didn't have a father and he never bothered to practice on his own. "I'll teach you." Brooke replied but her voice came out shaky and full of air. Tyler knew what he was doing by rubbing his hands up and down her thighs and over her underwear. At this rate they were never going to leave the room.

[granolabird]

With the Stargirl finale day I'm finally doing a silly little bit that I've been meaning to do for ages,,, Here's an incorrect quotes for Stargirl characters, but only using things me and my friends have said in our group discord server.

.

Rick (speaking to Grundy): "Jesus christ dude first you lay down in the middle of the street, Now you're trying to eat KFC off the curb, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Mike: "I love the lion king! The Rat and The Hippo make that movie"

Jakeem: "You mean the Meerkat and the Warthog??"

Courtney: "Someone on Facebook is asking where you can buy a pinata other than bulk barn."

Cindy: "The daycare. I'm sure if you hit a little kid in the stomach with a stick hard enough they'll vomit up some candy for you."

Pat: "In the words of the great Backstreet boys, Stop. Collaborate. And Listen."

Barbara: "A kid at work choked on a hotdog today."

Paula: "Did he die?"

Barbara: "No."

Paula: "Oh..... Why?"

Yolanda: "I hate neighbors. All I want to do is sit at home and practice fighting like a proper Vigilante but nooooo you gotta talk to me. Who gave you the right to live beside me? Fuck off."

Sylvester: "Listen, I told Jesus to take the wheel and he made me rich"

Beth: "Fine, okay. Maybe I'm a loveable fuzzball."

The Ultrahumanite: "Who cares about being hot when you can be a little fucking goblin in the woods."

Courtney: "The school called saying my brother sawed a chair in half"

Jordan: "I cast Norway upon thee!"

Crusher: "Murder, murder, murder, and then you get mentioned on a murder podcast!"

Cindy: "You are not at the top of the dissection list. But there is a list."

Yolanda (referring to Cameron): "He's terminally straight"

Artemis: "Take that! I just pistol whipped a bitch but with my arm!"

Deer gets hit by a car

Cameron: I wish that were me.

Jakeem: “Don’t kill me, I was born in 2012!”

Cindy: "Have you ever seen Moulin Rouge?"

Mike: "No sorry, I don't watch cartoons other than Dragon Ball Z"

Beth: What does a milliner make?

Rick: Millions.

Beth: Hats. They make hats.

[talesofcrypt]

campus dorms. ft. brooke maddox @horrorsluts

After Tyler dropped Chloe off, he went straight home. He wanted to reach out to Brooke but he was still mad at her. Therefore, he went to bed without texting her, hoping they could have a more level-headed conversation in the morning. It was a Sunday so he wasn't sure if she would be at her dad's or on campus. Not wanting to run into Quinn, Tyler stopped at her dorm first. After knocking three times, he rocked back on the heels of his boots and nervously fiddled with the zippo in his jacket pocket.

[augment-techs]

Character ask: Tyler Navarro, Dustin Brooks, Karone, and Merrick.

favorite thing about them: She makes it very clearly known to Andros in the comics that she is her own person and her screw-ups are her own to clean up and he is NOT going to infantilize her just because of his own trauma. least favorite thing about them: I'm sorry, I know people loved her and still love her for her being the go-to goddess of evil, but to this day I HATE her fucking wigs. Even as a child, the ONLY wig I liked was the blood red Dorothy Parker version. favorite line: "It's not a dishonor that we don't have our powers anymore. We've saved lives without them." brOTP: I am very much inclined towards her being the big sister to the Psycho Rangers in the Psycho Path, but especially Nokrea, because she is a little baby doll and it works. OTP: ....No? nOTP: *holds up a flamethrower* Incest shippers DNI. Zhane is...nice...but they're both gay, your honor. And they were as each others beard. random headcanon: When she was on Promethea with the others straggler Rangers without powers in Beyond the Grid, she and the others made a very special effort to hide how disgusting Mia's cooking was, while also trying to pave the way into her cooking a little better. Also she hangs out with TJ more than anyone, because familiarity is very nice. unpopular opinion: Her live action version in Lost Galaxy is a little boring. song i associate with them: Turn it Down favorite picture of them

favorite thing about them: He is a dopey, lovely little ball of sunshine that deserves all the love in the world for being my first male Yellow Ranger of memory that does his job excellently. least favorite thing about them: Nothing leaps to mind. favorite line: "Tori, promise me you'll never wear that bikini again." brOTP: For some reason, when Marah and Kapri join the Wind Ninjas, I have a very nice image of them being like puppies that help each other up more often than flirting? OTP: Dustin/Shane/Tori/Cam. If it works, it works; why change it? nOTP: I do not like him with Cyber Cam or either of the Thunder Brothers. Sorry, they're aesthetically pleasing but it doesn't sell romantically. random headcanon: For some reason the idea of him in a sari pops into my mind constantly. That and him doing yoga? unpopular opinion: Why would I say anything against him? song i associate with them: Miracle favorite picture of them

favorite thing about them: He tries his best even though he comes off as kind of baby. least favorite thing about them: His utter belief in his father kind of comes off as...pathetic. favorite line: none comes to mind. brOTP: Him and Koda come off very nicely as brotherly. OTP: Shelby/Tyler--with Shelby as top~ nOTP: *lifts the flamethrower again* random headcanon: He actually did rather well in Beyond the Grid. Riley is there too, and he's occupied with other things. unpopular opinion: Not sure how unpopular this is, but Tyler would have been much better off if someone had flat told him his dad is a fucking deadbeat. song i associate with them: Good For You favorite picture of them

[userlaylivia]

I didn't put handon in this because I put them in my last non endgame poll like this and I think they won plus I wanted to add some I don't usually put in plus some of my other favorites!! i love handon dgmw but yeah!

[soulcheri]

closed starter for tyler o'neill @hallowcked

"I'll be right back. Don't move." After brushing her lips with Gage's, Brooke excuses herself from the pool and her boyfriend's lap to make her way inside the Fitzgerald's mansion. Brooke had been holding her pee for the last hour, too afraid of leaving her new boyfriend alone with her gaggle of friends. She couldn't trust Jake not to open his big mouth and say something to him and Nina being Nina... couldn't take her eyes of Gage's washboard abs like she wanted to ride them.

Her only comfort at the moment had been Isa and knowing she could trust her best friend to keep an eye on Gage until she got back.

After entering Jake's house, Brooke passes Riley and Tyler in the kitchen on her way to the nearest bathroom. She doesn't see them talking at first when she walks by but, Brooke knows Tyler's there lurking. Riley had warned her earlier that morning that she invited him to come with and Jake had miraculously enough agreed to let him come. Though, Brooke suspected he probably had ulterior motives for doing it. Either way, she didn't bother to question any of them herself. For one, their ongoing feud was none of her concern and for two, her goal was to stay as far away from them both as possible. The less interactions she had with Tyler specifically, the better her off her heart would be.

After standing outside of the bathroom for twenty minutes, Brooke impatiently waits her turn. And when she comes out, she's too busy fixing her bikini bottoms to pay attention to where she's walking. Thus, she rams right into a six foot three boulder, who calls himself a human. "Sorry," Brooke apologizes without immediately looking up. Though she wouldn't have to in order to know who was standing there. His cologne was a dead giveaway. Tyler. "Oh," she fidgets nervously with the strings of her bikini, while trying her best not to make direct eye contact. One look at his face, and she knows her heart will plummet into her stomach. She can't handle that, therefore she was hoping to avoid.

[hallowcked]

Despite snorting three lines of cocaine and chugging some of the nastiest alcohol he's ever tasted, Tyler still wasn't numb enough to do this. He could drown his brain in mind-altering substances but his heart couldn't be as easily deceived. Brooke was everything he ever dreamed of and more. He would rather jump off a bridge or throw himself under a moving car than break her heart. But if he does that, there's no going back. He'll be dead and she'll be forced to move on. He has to tell himself that they'll find their way back to each other.

They always do.

The climb upstairs to her dorm room is with heavy feet. It's like walking through quicksand. He can't do this. But if he doesn't she might end up like the other girls. They might find her body pale white and cold. If there's even a chance that he could save her from that kind of brutality then he has to. Even if it destroys him.

Even if it kills him.

Standing outside of her room, he knocks on the door. She's expecting him. He told her they needed to talk. When she asked about what, he said they'll talk in person. He hopes she's had time to process what he's about to say. Maybe she'll get angry instead of sad. That would be best case scenario. He would rather her hate him than beg him to stay.

@soulcheri

[tuttle-did-it]

M*A*S*H was constantly attacked because it was far left, pro-equal rights, pro-queer, anti-gun, anti-establishment, anti-US government and the gross futility of war. For 11 years, Hawkeye and everyone else railed against war, trauma, the incredible incompetence of governments who use people like tissue paper, the impossible and sadistic cruelty humans were capable of, and the senseless death of every war. Every week, they all got more and more trauma just trying to survive.

Mary Tyler Moore Show was the first mainstream American television show that explored the life of a single career woman. She struggled with relationships in a changing world, workplace sexism and the limitations society put against women. Mary smashed against the glass ceiling every week, and the spin-off Rhoda was the first mainstream American television show that explored the life of a divorced woman.

Frank Burns and All in the Family’s Archie Bunker were the the representations of the Republican American man— and he was the repressed, absurd, sadistic, sexist, bigoted, incompetent, hateful buffoon that was mocked, argued with and defeated every week.

These shows mattered. They changed lives, they changed hearts, and they tried, desperately, to change minds.

Trump is the incarnation of Archie Bunker — but sadly, unlike the actors Carroll O’Connor who played Archie, and Larry Linville (Frank Burns on M*A*S*H) two delightful, incredible humans, who played Frank Burns, Trump has no concept of how evil he really is.

Norman Lear, James L Brooks, Burt Metcalf and Larry Gelbart did more for television and audiences than Jerry Seinfeld ever did.

Every week, these shows tried to say something about something- racial rights, LGTBQIA+ women's rights, the futility of war, the importance of connecting with other people, the dangers of human cruelty-- they TRIED to say SOMETHING.

And Seinfeld? Seinfeld was, famously, about nothing. They said nothing. They did nothing. Which means it means NOTHING.

Oh, and by the way, Jerry— the M*A*S*H finale ‘Goodbye Farewell and Amen,’ had more than 106 million people watching in 1983— and there were a LOT of parties who got together with a big party (HUGE parties) so that’s a low estimate.

More people watched 'Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen' than the moon landing. It is still the most watched television episode of ALL TIME.

It was such a massive event that it caused a city-wide water pressure problem in New York City. Alan Alda wrote,

"the city's water supply was strained at every commercial break because so many hundreds of thousands of toilets were flushed at the same time."

An estimated million viewers in New York City alone used the toilet after the show ended, pouring 6.7 million gallons of water through the city’s sewers, United Press International reported at the time. “In speaking to engineers who’ve been around 30 or 40 years, they haven’t encountered anything like this before,” Peter Barrett, a spokesman for the city Department of Environmental Protection, told UPI.

Seinfeld only got 76.3 million viewers in 1998 compared to M*A*S*H's 106 million. And there were a lot more people in 1998 than there were in 1983, so percentage-wise, it's probably even more significant difference than it looks.

So maybe you didn't make nearly as big an impact as you thought, Jerry.

May 15, 1998: (huge thanks to @mimi-kkyutie for jumping the paywall for this article!)

Article from The Patagraph, Bloomington illinois reads above:

As "M*A*S*H" star Mike Farrell spoke at the Evening of Stars benefit in Bloomington-Normal, millions of viewers were glued to their television sets watching the final, much-hyped episode of "Seinfeld." Farrell was not taping it. While he was careful to insist he meant no offense to the cast or viewers, he said at a news conference earlier in the day that "M*A*S*H" had a far bigger impact on people's lives. "Popular shows come and go," he said. "'Seinfeld' is a show about nothing, as they describe it. I'm proud to be a show about something." For a show to really reach an audience and to make an impact, he explained, it had to have a powerful, lasting theme that resonates with viewers. "M*A*S*H did that," Farrell said. "And continues to do so in reruns. Seinfeld has not. And never will," Farrell said. "These shows come and go. They just try to attract people's attention for a certain period of time and you can do that by making a fool of yourself. For a little while. Then people get tired of you and appropriately so." M*A*S*H was effective on many different levels," Farrell noted, "including comedy and drama. And it carried a great message: the portrayal of people doing a job they didn't particularly like, but which had to be done. And despite difficult circumstances, they did it well, often with great humor and courage."

"That's a terrifically admirable characteristic and people across the country and across the world understand that," he said. Farrel added that there has been far too much hype surrounding the final episode of "Seinfeld," especially when one considers that much of it is self-generated But he understands why. "We have to remember we're talking about selling a product. The network is selling itself as a product. It's ending amid a flurry of publicity, and they're going to use it to wring every drop, every last rating point they can get out of it. That's the nature of the business." Farrell's speech at the Evening of Stars, which benefited the McLean County chapter of the American Red Cross, was held at the Radisson Hotel in Blooming-ton. However, his appearance there was closed to the media. But he said earlier that his message was going to be a simple one: that people matter, and that he was disturbed by the increasing lack of care and concern for those who suffer around the world. "When we make heroes out of people who stand for nothing, as opposed to people who stand for something, we are doing ourselves a disservice," he said.

Farrell currently serves as the co-chair of the Western Regional Branch of the Human Rights Watch in California. He also is the spokesman for CONCERN Ameri- 5 if If -r "MASH" star Mike Farrell, shown second from left in this photo from the taping of the show's final episode in January 1983, believes his show had more significance than "Seinfeld." ca, an international refugee aid penalty, Farrell also has debated and development organization. and spoken about the issue as a lifelong opponent of the death many occasions.

Seinfeld was the empty calories you eat because you want something in your mouth. It's what you put on to kill 22 minutes. But it means absolutely nothing.

I have every episode of M*A*S*H memorised. I have every episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show memorised. I have most of All in the Family memorised (but frankly, America having a president just like Archie Bunker makes it much too real, these days). Why? Because these shows were all so damned good, I thought about the episodes for days and had to rewatch them. And over 40 years later, I am still rewatching them.

I cannot recall a single episode of Seinfeld, save the clip-show of a finale in which it was reiterated what horrible people they all were. And even that is the most I can tell you about it. Because it means NOTHING. Frankly, I forget that Seinfeld ever existed until someone mentions it.

I would take the worst episodes of M*A*S*H, The Mary Tyler Moore Show and All in the Family over the best episode of Seinfeld any day because they were TRYING to say SOMETHING. Even the few episodes that didn't quite land or work-- they were TRYING.

"When we make heroes out of people who stand for nothing, as opposed to people who stand for something, we are doing ourselves a disservice." -- Mike Farrell

“In a new interview with the New Yorker ahead of his 70th birthday on Monday, the comedian explained his theory about why there’s no “funny stuff” to watch on TV anymore. “Nothing really affects comedy,” he said, “People always need it. They need it so badly and they don’t get it.” Instead of getting sitcoms like M*A*S*H, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and All in the Family, audiences miss out, he said, as a “result of the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people.” […] A look back at some of his earlier comments on a similar subject adds some context, if not clarity. In 2015, Seinfeld sat down for an episode of The Herd with Colin Cowherd podcast, where he explained his aversion to performing stand-up on college campuses. “I don’t play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, ‘Don’t go near colleges. They’re so PC,’” he said on the show. After giving an example of his teenage daughter using the word “sexist,” he concluded that young people “just want to use these words: ‘That’s racist’; ‘That’s sexist’; ‘That’s prejudice.’ They don’t know what they’re talking about.””

—

Jerry Seinfeld Draws Right-Wing Praise for Comments on ‘Extreme Left’

This is such a bummer. Tell me you’re a privileged, entitled, myopic Boomer without telling me you’re a privileged, entitled, myopic Boomer.

It’s interesting to me that he says these legendary sit-coms, none of which were cruel, punching down, or hurtful, but were actually satirizing power, celebrating women, changing societal norms through representation, and using comedy to do it all, wouldn’t exist if “the extreme left” had anything to do with it.

Umm. Who does he think created these shows? And is he really that ignorant? Has this guy never read a single interview with Norman Lear? Or literally anyone in the cast of Mary Tyler Moore? I mean. Come on, man!

Teenagers and college students don’t know what they’re talking about when they tell a privileged, entitled, multimillionaire Boomer that his “jokes” can be hurtful, and maybe he could use his tremendous talent to do comedy that is just as funny without being hurtful. Okay. Got it. Keep saying that, and see how far it gets you, buddy.

Hey, Jerry Seinfeld: when blue checks on Twitter are celebrating you being a dick, it’s not because you’re so funny and such a brilliant comic; it’s because they love how you’re validating what garbage they are. You can’t see that, or don’t care, and that’s such a huge bummer.