#i. need to do fanart of his orin death.

[yappacadaver]

just went through some of my saves to speak with dead on zevlor and my god. my fucking god. what the fuck

[thekats]

"sexy fanart vs character appreciation"

I find so interesting this recurring connection between a character/person's relationship to sex (as in the activity) and their broadly perceived lack of depth, integrity or intelligence.

I have seen this across multiple fandoms now, and more than just one person each time, and since literary analysis is more my area of expertise than social studies for the real world, I will stick to: fictional characters (I know, big shock from me, on my blog, with mine words)

"I am seeing only sexy drawings, and I enjoy them, but no one seems to appreciate their personality like I do" seems to be, in essence, what these posts say. Respectfully: How the fuck would you know about someone's appreciation of a character from just some fanart? Legitimately, fandom has become so toxic - and I am not taking myself out of that accusation, I've had to catch myself more times than I'd like to admit thinking 'boo, you hate my precious baby angel, you're a meanie!'... or something perhaps less joke-ified... I get being defensive. I mean, they just said something bad about your darling, they started it, right? Maybe. Or maybe we could just lower our blood pressure (which is actually a terrible turn of phrase if you, like me, suffer from chronically low blood pressure) and accept that we don't all have to like and dislike the same things. We don't have to piss on each other for liking or disliking different things. We don't even have to have founded arguments for why we like or dislike things. And we also, and I really need to hear myself say this so listen up, don't have to take it personally when others like or dislike different things from us.

"I don't like Regal, he is boring." Okay. You're wrong, but... you know... okay.

"I really love Gortash, such a bad boy." Okay. Good for you. Couldn't care less about the guy. (I don't actually know what people like in Gortash, so forgive me if I'm way off-mark, I legitimately do not care at all about him, Orin or Thorm beyond killing them for the plot.)

See how easy that was? I took a few deep breaths after typing out that first one (cried and died a little on the inside, but it's fine, Martel will forgive my sins and I will be united with him after death), but I can just accept that we see these characters differently.

Now, I hear you. "What's that have to do with sexy fanart?" The answer is simple and complex at the same time: We all have a relationship to sex.

For some of us it's good.

For some of us it's bad.

Some of us don't really care about it.

Most of us don't share the exact same relationship to sex as each other.

This is going to be a partially meta-relevant example, but mostly he's just right there: Halsin. Halsin is established by the game he is in to be a very sex-positive character. Immediately, upon first flirt, he is all "gosh, would that I could." Like it or not, Halsin has a very high interest in having sex. And not just with people he really likes. In fact, not just with people. And call me crazy, but it doesn't strike me as the same habit-and-compulsion driven sexing that Astarion does. Halsin likes, enjoys and seeks out sex when he wants to. He'll ask to join your existing relationship. He'll ask to join you for a random no-feelings-attached foursome/fivesome with drow prostitutes, even though he clearly has some lingering trauma from his time as a sex-slave to a drow couple.

Sex can be an integral part to a character. This does not make the character one-dimensional. Just like us, a well-written character's relationship to sex can be very complex. It would do us, as a society, well to remember that having an active sex life does not equal being shallow. And celibacy does not make one deep or whatever.

The thing about fictional characters we like is that they mirror us in some way. They have something we can connect to. We can project ourselves onto them and/or learn to understand ourselves a little more through them. If I have sexual trauma and my coping strategy is to be sexually active, then I may a) see myself reflected in characters like Astarion and Halsin and b) focus my lens on that part of them, "hypersexualise" them and share that to the world as a way to work through my own shit, to see myself there but extrapolated. The image of, say, Halsin gives me both a canvas to paint myself and a shield to hold before my most sensitive parts. He is a fictional character. He'll be fine.

In art, we express. Be it drawing/painting, writing, or music-ing(...), we share our lens, our perspective from which we view the character. This can become very explicit, especially in writing, or it can remain very abstract and inaccessible to others, who don't know how to see like we do. I drew a bottom!halsin not so long ago. Did I do it just because "Halsin hot. Halsin bottom hot"? Well, yes, in part. But why do I find that hot? Why as a bottom? Because it expresses something about his character for me. We always get to see him being in charge, taking charge, doing things for the benefit of others. It is (quietly?) expected of him to be a top, both sexually and socially (work with me here, yeah?). I like characters like him to be allowed a break, for them to be able to lean in to being taken care of. Halsin enjoys his lovers enjoying themselves. Nice, him and me both. So you bet your arse I'm going to really enjoy him enjoying himself. Still following? I expressed that, a tiny little character analysis with my sexy fanart. Did you, who complains about the sexualising fanart, see that in my drawing? Nah, you just saw "Wah, you're objectifying my beloved character with your silly little wank-material!" and then you go and post about how disappointed you are that everyone just sees him as a piece of meat and "no one wants to read a few paragraphs of sweet fluff or analysis". Well, here. Since you're such an avid reader, read these 'few paragraphs of analysis'. While you're at it (which you're probably not, let's be honest, you just wanted to be "not like the others") be glad that you can. Because, Brittany Alexander Kay, some of us are disabled and can't. You think I read my own shit? Please, I don't have the spoons to try and whiplash myself through my own writing. It's atrocious! Plus, I already know the points I'm making- but that's not... I'm a terrible reader, let's just leave it there.

Maybe I'm drawing sexy fanart of him because, well, I find him sexy and I want to look at some sexy art. Again, he is a fictional character. He will be fine.

I could also be drawing sexy fanart of him just to get some practise, hone my skills, study anatomy, and post it to get feedback or just to overcome shyness or whatever, I, of course, wouldn't know anything about panicking before posting fanart on the internet, completely foreign concept to me, I am so confident, I never even cried after clicking "post".... /s

"But Kats, you just said you could take a breath and mind your business." Yup, I can. But when it leaves the fictional ("I don't like how hypersexual this character is") and enters the real ("I don't like how you objectify this character"), then I believe it is only adequate to speak my mind. A fictional character will not be affected by your opinions. Real people, however, most definitely are. And since you don't live inside their heads, it seems very presumptuous of you to assume that because someone draws sexy fanart of a character, that they only see them as a piece of pleasure-meat.

Sometimes, there's more to it than you can tell at a glance. Fanart is no less meaningful than gallery art just because it's by a fan and posted on the internet.

Sometimes, it's just porn. And that's fine, too.