#i-land niki
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faebriel · 1 year ago
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and you caused it (a fic scrapbook)
a collection of written scenes, outlining, notes and art as a sequel to my fic cause most of us are bitter over someone.
In which Niki has a terrible secret, Puffy just wants to move on, Tommy sneaks into casino parties and Wilbur learns to deal with anger being justified. Or - the one thing they don’t warn you of, when dropping nuclear warheads on old friends, is fallout.
31.2k words of angst, hurt/comfort, niki struggling through a self-imposed redemption arc, wilbur and niki fighting through the worst argument they've had possibly ever, techno and niki having their worst argument ever, tommy acting as the server's cassandra, and pandora's box being opened. niki-centric, with a heavy dash of rainduo - although techno, tommy and puffy also have their moments in the spotlight.
oh, and a happy ending. eventually.
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chapter 1 - is bitter there?
wilbur does his very best to be a good friend. niki continues to have issues with making apologies. a casino opening party is attended, and a few well-kept secrets find their way into the light.
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chapter 2 - at least i have nothing
arguments are had. roommates are invited to crash on an attempted murderer’s metaphorical couch. more emotionally intense conversations are had over l'manberg’s skeleton corpse, and niki is once again alone.
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chapter 3 - sugar, milk and molasses
a prisoner goes free, niki and tommy try (and miserably fail) to get along, and some breaking and entering is committed. just out of curiosity, y'know.
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chapter 4 - everyone there is, all together now
three important conversations are had, and niki comes home.
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chapter 5 - but i'm forever missing him
resolutions are made on phil’s verandah, wilbur finally understands how horrible it would be to die in a ravine underground, and once-old friends are made new again. niki, again, finds herself baking a cake.
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invisiblesketches · 1 year ago
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I've been asking on Twitter but uh...
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kozumesphone · 1 month ago
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I started watching enha’s i-land episodes and wtf i’m so ready to cry 😭
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rixkisunghalo · 6 months ago
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all abt me ☁️💫
helloooo my name is cloudy (not my real name but yk... privacy) i'm not new to kpop tumblr and have actually had blogs in the past that i just lost interest in... hopefully this one doesn't suffer the same fate!!! i'll be writing only for enhypen and boynextdoor, but i'm a hugeeee multi stan (kpop stan since 2018) so pls feel free to talk abt any group with me! my reqs will usually be open, but before requesting please read my rules, i have boundaries as well yk!!! uhmmm, how abt some stuff abt me now?
💫 i'm a 2008 liner 💫 i'm learning mandarin chinese 💫 i'm ethiopian!!! 💫 my biggest passion is fashion 💫 i have three sisters (i'm 3/4 kids)
and yeah!!! can't wait to interact with all of u luvys
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koishua · 7 months ago
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small discussion but in the atla universe, which element would the enha boys be able to bend??
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#tp#i think jungwon has avatar potential also hee#obviously jay is a firebender#hoon gives waterbender vibes not just bc of his figure skating bg#sunoo also gives off airbender vibes bc of his personality and tendencies#can't put a finger as to what jake and niki would do.... maybe earthbender jake and also firebender riki#okay firebending would make sense for riki bc of the dragon dance and bc of the way firebenders move their body like i think that style of#martial arts would suit riki. plus he has sharp looks that fit fire nation#back to sunoo for a bit bc of his peaceful nature and soft looks like most air nomads!! non confrontational too ig kind of#can't really decide jake tho.... i mean i feel like he is very grounded and idk idk does he have the earthbender mindset??#i feel like he gives off major piandao vibes#hoon i think has waterbender vibes bc of his fluidity and adaptability but also so does sunoo but sunoo's personality is more airbender#but im not sure.....#does anyone from this group give off earthbender????#i chose jungwon as avatar bc he somehow is the most well-balanced. adaptable but also rigid but also peace-seeking but also passionate#jungwon being an avatar makes so much sense but what would his origin be??? i feel like he'd start off earthbending#earthbenders are very direct and headstrong and i feel like heeseung's dance style is very similar to the movements of an earthbender#like his stance is more often than not very wide and stable and idk omg#and he'd push through an issue instead of avoiding it or going around it#anyways jay is a solid firebender that im 100% sure of and have always been ever since i-land#he has this explosiveness to him that's very attractive and SOOOOO fire nation#enhypen#AHHDHDHDHHDFH I IMAGINED HEE AS BUMI HRLP ME IM CACKLINGGGG remember him during that taekwondo en oclock ep ??
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byeol-interrupted · 1 year ago
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enhypen as things my friends have said (AGAIN)
Jake *talking about his crush*: Sunghoon, he calls me bro Sunghoon: have you picked up?
Jungwon: but the father, son and Holy Spirit Heeseung: the dynamic trio Riki: yeah like lady gaga
Sunoo: *about to smash a jar of pickles open with a hammer* Jay: DIRECT BIBLE QUOTE, 'Don't bust things open, bust it down, or otherwise do any busting of any kind' Jesus 40:87
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rubybunnii · 9 months ago
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roseangelxfuma · 1 year ago
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ni-ki masterlist
drunk-dazed
horror house
fenway (let’s play ball)
pillow fort (castle)
vampire?
human blood bag
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your-local-k-pop-stan · 1 year ago
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Current Status: Sobbing😭
K and Niki are so cute together- I miss I-land and at the same time I don’t. I watched &Audition recently and absolutely broke down when the boys found out they filled the &Ring
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wntrnghts · 1 year ago
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currently rewatching i-land with my best friend. did taki’s elimination always hurt this bad????
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ghxstkn1fe · 1 year ago
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i’m rewatching episode 65 and bro i Do Not Trust this fucking fortune teller. if grizz wasn’t so insistant on his love for tieflings, i’d bring up my “Niklaus is a changeling” theory. just hear me out. This fortune teller was pretty much brought out from no where, grizz just brought him up. okay let me say this slower, Grizzly brought up the fortune teller that takes peoples memories. why? because he enjoys watching them like movies, or at least that’s what he claims. now tell me that doesn’t sound similar to Niklaus “I just love a good story” Hendrix. I will say, the way the fortune teller speaks doesn’t feel like Nik, but their motivations seem very similar. They both also have similar procedure: an inability to leave the room, an intimidating presence, one member of the crew separated from the others, and a deal offered to benefit one side more than the other, set in stone by a touch of the hands (either a handshake or a palm reading.) Niklaus is a major background antagonist, causing conflict behind the scenes so the crew can give him a good story too watch from the sidelines. Perhaps the fortune teller was his way of assessing Chip directly, maybe as a way of researching the curse and it’s tolls. I’m not directly saying they’re the same person, as i don’t believe Grizz would make him a changeling instead of a tiefling, but I’m also not writing the possibility out.
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monchildnj · 2 years ago
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youtube
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bywons · 9 months ago
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୨୧ KISS IT BETTER — n. riki
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pairing. badboy!nishimura riki x f!reader w.c. 0.8k tw/cw. mentions of fighting, nicknames, kissing genre. highschool au, non idol au, fluff feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!
sru's note! niki my cutest boy >.<
m.list ⏐ requests are open! ⏐ navi
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the youngster winces at the cool sensation of ice against the fresh bruise, blooming red and blue under his skin.
but what's hurting him even more than the burning bruise on his left cheek, are the eyes of the girl pressing an ice pack to it. your reddening hurt eyes, brimming with tears which are threatening to spill onto your flushed cheeks, a result of crying earlier.
but the reason? nishimura riki, your boyfriend, showing up with bruises and cuts all over for the third time this week at your favourite rendezvous point— behind the small cozy bungalow of the old 'cat lady' in town, who almost never came out.
"you promised riki", your voice shakes, the delicate heart of yours no longer being able to withstand the sight of your lover's wounds and gloomy expression, "then why?"
"ya won't get it princess", riki breathes out the nickname for you so smoothly, utterly believing at the complete vanishing of your subdued anger.
but instead a gasp leaves riki's mouth at the sudden absence of the cool, relaxing and alleviating sensation from the sore bruise. riki's frown deepens and a cute pout forms on his tough face when he lifts his head to look at you.
"i won't get it? i won't get it?!", you scoff at his words and abruptly remove the ice pack from his bruise, "how do you expect me to not get it when the bruises are basically 'cause of me!"
"don't you blame yourself now!", riki's fast to get protective, even if it means to protect you from yourself.
however, you weren't entirely wrong, as everyone who mocked or insulted you for any reason was forced to smile and greet you after riki entered your life-frame. their change, while good, was involuntary on their part. nishimura riki was the main change brought in.
he'd often get his knuckles bruised and crimson, not hesitating to land punches on faces you didn't like. riki was known around the school campus for being reckless as heck, he knew it too, so doubtlessly he didn't mind adding the point, "protecting my girlfriend", to his list of becoming even more reckless.
but he forgets that he's getting punched back, getting wounded up too just to make his girl sweat.
"riki", the way his name slips out of your kissable lips and the way it sounds so dulcet, but it repels your glossy eyes and a frown full of worry.
and riki's heart aches again.
"y'know i hate seeing you like this! y'know i don't like you getting hurt," the ice pack falls on your lap with a sigh leaving your mouth.
"it's only for your good, love. don't like those people near you—"
"they've stopped hurting me riki!", you sigh again, placing your hand ever so softly on his cheek, "you've done enough for me."
"hmmm", riki hums in relaxation and melts into your touch, tilting his head onto your hands, secretly wishing your touch would linger around forever.
"it still kinda burns", riki pouts, pointing towards his bruise on his cheek still crimson and puffy, "kiss it better?"
despite of dating the boy for nearly a year now, he's always catching you off guard, even with his immense love for you. like right now, when he decides to sacrifice his already worn out school trousers to the dusty earth covered by dry birches leaves, without hesitation. riki makes you sit above it though, upon a makeshift chair out of an unfinished wooden rack in the backyard.
it was moments like this when a genuine smile played on your lips, and you know riki's the one.
with a shy smile and coloured cheeks, you lean down to your boyfriend sitting on the ground, to press a feathery kiss to his bruise and heal in some magical way for him.
you pull away quickly worried that if you press your lips any harder, it may hurt him.
"now this one?", riki smirks, pointing to another bruise painting his skin purple. this one dangerously close to his lips, lying on the corners.
"you cheeky!", it's refreshing for riki to see you giggle again, the dry tear-stricken cheeks of yours elevating to laugh.
you lean down, this time cupping his soft face and bringing it closer to you. and just when your plump lips brush against the corner of his, riki moves his face in a way that his lips meet yours. into a sudden, yet endearing kiss.
your eyes widen after the kiss, shocked eyes meeting riki's proud and smug ones.
"promise me", you whisper as your eyes travel around the recent and previous marks and cuts on rikis face, "you'll never fight again."
"can't promise something like that angel," riki scoffs, taking your hands in his, and softly pressing his lips against your knuckles.
"hey riki—!"
"but that's alright, you'll kiss it better every time, yeah?"
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© bywons, 2024. do not copy, translate or upload any of my works without my permission.
taglist: open! CLICK ON THE LINK TO BE ADDED!
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gyuuberryy · 4 months ago
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ni-ki's guide to survival: how getting lost led to love
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pairing: enemy!niki x reader
synopsis: you would’ve never agreed to go on this camping trip with your friends if you had known you would get paired up with your arch nemesis. and getting lost on top of that? with the said bane of your existence? that was definitely not on your agenda.
genre: enemies to lovers, camping au, humour, comfort, little bit of angst
warnings: mentions of panic attack, bugs, kissing
note: they’re all college students btw! i had a really bad riki brainrot and i love e2l so this fic was birthed hehe
word count: 5.3k
if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3
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the campfire crackled merrily, casting flickering shadows on the faces of your friends huddled around it. laughter danced in the air, punctuated by the occasional chirp of a cricket. 
everyone except you and the boy sprawled on a log opposite you, a scowl permanently etched on his face. nishimura ni-ki. 
camping trips with your friends were supposed to be fun, a chance to unwind, but with your nemesis by your side, it felt more like a forced march into enemy territory.
the animosity has started innocently enough. you and ni-ki, along with your friends, had embarked on a beach trip determined to build the most epic sandcastle the world had ever seen. hours were poured into sculpting elaborate moats, towering turrets, and intricate sand sculptures. victory was within reach, your masterpiece nearing completion, when disaster struck. a rogue wave, rolled in, obliterating your creation in a single, foamy swipe.
grief turned to rage, and you, fueled by a sugar crash from a previously consumed ice cream cone, pointed the finger of blame at ni-ki. you claimed he'd jinxed the project with his "terrible sandcastle feng shui." ni-ki, ever the provocateur, countered that your "overly ambitious moat design" was structurally unsound. the blame game escalated, escalating into a full-blown sand throwing fight that left everyone covered in a gritty mix of sand and saltwater.
two years later, the incident remained a running joke within your friend group. the mere mention of "sandcastle feng shui" could send you both into a fit of giggles (or, depending on the day, simmering resentment which happened to be today). 
a mischievous grin spread across sunoo's face, the self-proclaimed "king of fun." "alright everyone, time for the foraging challenge!" he announced, pulling a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. "i've paired you all up to go gather ingredients for our stew!"
a collective groan arose, except from sunoo and heeseung, who were already whispering excitedly about wild herbs. the paper crackled in sunoo's hands as he unfolded it dramatically.
you perked up, eager to escape the suffocating tension between you and ni-ki. maybe a solo scavenging mission wouldn't be so bad. but as sunoo started assigning pairs, your stomach lurched.
"since we have an even number, the last team will be..." sunoo scanned the group, his eyes landing on you and ni-ki. a mischievous glint sparked in them. "...together."
a collective gasp arose from your friends, a mix of amusement and pity for your predicament. ni-ki, however, didn't miss a beat. he shot you a smug smirk, his eyes gleaming with a challenge.
"great," you muttered, sarcasm dripping from your voice. "just what i always wanted, a foraging partner with the survival instincts of a goldfish."
ni-ki scoffed. "says the one who gets lost in a grocery store."
memories of that disastrous shopping trip with your mom flooded your mind. you gritted your teeth.
"at least i won't accidentally set the forest on fire trying to light a campfire," you retorted, referencing a camping trip gone slightly wrong from a year back.
ni-ki's smirk faltered for a split second, a flicker of annoyance crossing his features before returning full force. "unlike you, i actually know how to tell an edible plant from a poisonous one."
"oh please, spare me the mr. nature act," you shot back, standing up and grabbing your backpack. "let's just get this over with. before you scare away all the edible plants with your bad attitude."
ni-ki rose from his log with a mocking bow. "after you, princess."
you rolled your eyes, the familiar bickering a bitter comfort in this unwelcome alliance. as you walked past your friends, you heard sunghoon mutter under his breath, "may the odds be ever in your favour." you shot him a glare, wishing for nothing more than to prove him wrong. 
the forest stretched out before you, promising a foraging adventure filled with snarky remarks, petty competition, and maybe, just maybe, a grudging respect for your unlikely partner.
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the trail wound deeper into the woods, dappled sunlight filtering through the leaves overhead. the air grew thick with unspoken words, the silence punctuated only by the crunch of twigs underfoot and the occasional chirp of a bird.
"shouldn't you be skipping ahead, searching for your precious berries?" you finally snapped, unable to bear the awkward tension any longer.
"only if you promise not to poison yourself with the first wild mushroom you find, pipsqueak," ni-ki retorted, a playful glint in his eyes.
you scoffed, rolling your eyes. "at least i can tell the difference between food and foliage."
just then, you skidded to a halt, hand flying up to point. "look!"
ni-ki nearly bumped into you, surprised by your sudden stop. he followed your gaze and spotted a fawn grazing a few metres off the trail. its large, innocent eyes looked back at them curiously.
a genuine smile, devoid of their usual antagonism, softened ni-ki’s features. "aww, isn't that cute?"
"hold that thought," you whispered, excitement bubbling in your chest. you fumbled with your phone, eager to capture the adorable creature on camera.
ni-ki chuckled, a hint of amusement in his voice. "don't take all day. we're not exactly bffs on a nature walk here."
you stuck your tongue out at him playfully, focusing on getting the perfect shot. suddenly, a bloodcurdling shriek tore from your throat.
ni-ki whipped around, heart hammering in his chest. he saw you flailing your arms wildly, phone clattering to the ground. without a second thought, he sprinted towards you, fear momentarily overriding his usual animosity.
"what happened?" he gasped, skidding to a halt beside you.
"b-bug!" you stammered, pointing at a nearby leaf. "giant, horrible bug!"
ni-ki followed your shaky finger and let out a snort of laughter. perched on the leaf was a large beetle, no doubt intimidating to someone with a bug phobia, but far from the monstrous nightmare you'd made it out to be.
"seriously, that's it?" he doubled over, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "you screamed like a banshee over a little beetle?"
you glared at him, cheeks burning with a mixture of embarrassment and lingering fear. "it was huge! and it tried to bite me!"
ignoring your protests, ni-ki sauntered over to the leaf, his amusement evident. he poked the beetle with a stick, earning a disgruntled hiss in response.
suddenly, his laughter died in his throat. the seemingly harmless beetle, disturbed by his prodding, lunged at him with surprising speed. he yelped, leaping back with a comical yelp, tripping spectacularly over a protruding root in the process.
the force of his fall sent him tumbling backwards, straight into you. with a startled cry, you lost your footing and the two of you went careening down a steep slope, a tangled mess of limbs and flying leaves.
the world became a blur of green and brown before you landed with a thud in a small clearing at the bottom. you groaned, blinking away spots as you sat up, taking stock of your surroundings. ni-ki lay sprawled a few feet away, groaning dramatically.
"well, this is just great," you muttered, brushing dirt off your clothes. you glanced at ni-ki, a flicker of amusement tugging at the corners of your lips despite the throbbing pain in your arm.
he sat up slowly, sheepish grin replacing his earlier smirk. "looks like we both owe that little beetle an apology, huh?"
the amusement in your eyes quickly morphed into pure exasperation as reality settled into you. you had no clue where you were. 
"are you kidding me, nishimura?!" you suddenly yelled, throwing your hands up in the air. "you tripped us both over a bug! how clumsy can you possibly get?"
said boy winced at your outburst, the playful glint in his eyes fading. "hey, it wasn't exactly graceful," he mumbled, dusting himself off. "but at least we're not hurt, right?"
"not hurt? we just tumbled down a freaking hill! and for what? because you couldn't resist poking a bug with a stick?"
"alright, alright," he placatingly raised his hands. "let's just calm down. the good news is, i can recognise this part of the woods. we should be able to find our way back to the trail pretty easily."
you eyed him sceptically. "how can you possibly be sure? this whole forest looks the same!"
he puffed out his chest, a hint of his usual arrogance returning. "trust me, pipsqueak. i have a good sense of direction. just follow me."
you gritted your teeth, the anger simmering just beneath the surface. given the choice, you wouldn't have trusted a lost puppy to lead you back, let alone your nemesis with a questionable sense of direction. however, with no other options, you reluctantly trailed behind him.
minutes turned into what felt like hours. the scenery seemed to repeat itself endlessly, a maze of identical trees and sun-dappled paths. panic started to gnaw at your insides.
"nishimura," you said through gritted teeth, "are we sure we're not going in circles?"
he stopped abruptly, a frown etching his face. he pulled out his phone, his expression darkening as he stared at the screen. "damn it. no signal."
your blood ran cold. "what do you mean no signal?"
"there's no cell reception out here," he admitted sheepishly. "i guess i was wrong about knowing the way back."
you stared at him, incredulous. "you got us lost, and now we can't even call for help? you are the most irresponsible person i've ever met!"
he held up his hands defensively. "whoa, hey! it was an accident! we'll figure something out, okay? just calm down."
but calm was the last thing you felt. lost, angry, and scared, you glared at ni-ki, a fierce determination replacing the fear. "we will figure this out," you declared, voice shaking with repressed anger. "but for now, shut up and follow me. maybe i have a better sense of direction than you think."
the forest floor crunched under your feet as you marched ahead, a newfound resolve hardening your features. gone was the bickering banter, replaced by a tense silence punctuated only by the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze. ni-ki followed close behind, a sheepish silence replacing his usual bravado.
you scanned the surroundings, searching for any landmark, any sign that might lead you back to the familiar trail. the dense foliage seemed to mock your efforts, the towering trees offering no clues in their uniformity. doubt gnawed at the edges of your determination, but the thought of relying on ni-ki was far worse.
"we need to find higher ground," you finally muttered, remembering a survival tip you'd once read. "maybe we can get a better view from up there."
ni-ki nodded curtly, his earlier arrogance replaced by a hint of worry. together, you pushed through the undergrowth, searching for any sign of an incline. after what felt like an eternity, you stumbled upon a rocky outcrop, its jagged surface a stark contrast to the smooth earth around it.
scrambling up the rocks, you emerged onto a small, uneven plateau. taking a deep breath, you scanned the horizon, hoping for a glimpse of the familiar smoke plume rising from the campsite. but all you saw was a seemingly endless expanse of green, the trees blurring together in a dizzying kaleidoscope.
disappointment crashed over you, heavy and suffocating. you slumped down onto a smooth rock, the anger slowly draining away, leaving behind a cold dread. lost, with no way to contact anyone, a shiver ran down your spine despite the warm afternoon sun.
"great," you muttered, voice devoid of its earlier fire. "just brilliant."
a moment of heavy silence passed before ni-ki spoke, his voice uncharacteristically subdued. "look, i messed up, okay? i should have paid more attention, and i shouldn't have been so cocky."
you didn't respond, staring blankly at the endless sea of trees.
he continued, his voice softer now. "but freaking out isn't going to help us. we need to work together on this."
he was right, of course. but the idea of trusting him after his colossal blunder left a bitter taste in your mouth. yet, there were no other options.
with a sigh, you finally met his gaze. "fine," you conceded grudgingly. "but if we ever get out of this, i'm never letting you live this down."
a flicker of a smile played on his lips, a hint of his usual defiance returning. "deal. now, how about we put our survival skills to the test, pipsqueak? together."
the animosity was still there, simmering just beneath the surface. but in the face of you predicament, a fragile truce had been formed. you weren't friends, not by a long shot. but for now, you were stuck with each other, and survival depended on a begrudging cooperation.
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as the golden light of the afternoon began to fade, long shadows stretched across the forest floor, deepening the gloom beneath the dense canopy. the chirping of birds had been replaced by the eerie calls of nocturnal creatures, sending shivers down your spine.
the initial anger you felt towards ni-ki had morphed into a gnawing fear. the realisation that you were truly lost, with no way to contact anyone, settled in your stomach like a lead weight.
your breaths came in ragged gasps, the realisation of your situation finally hitting you with full force.
tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision. a choked sob escaped your lips, quickly escalating into a full-blown panic attack. hyperventilating, you clutched your chest, the world seeming to shrink around you.
suddenly, a hand landed gently on your shoulder. you flinched, expecting another snarky remark from ni-ki. but instead, his voice was soft, laced with concern.
"hey, hey," he soothed, his hand moving to wipe away a stray tear that traced its way down your cheek. "it's okay. we'll be alright."
his touch, surprisingly gentle, sent a jolt through you. you were so used to your constant sparring that this sudden tenderness was completely disarming.
"we just need to calm down," he continued, his voice low and calming. "we can't think clearly if you're panicking. look at me."
hesitantly, you met his gaze. his eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, were now filled with a genuine concern you hadn't seen before.
"we'll find our way back," he promised, his voice firm but reassuring. "the sun will rise again in the morning, and with daylight, everything will seem clearer. we'll figure out a plan then."
his words, surprisingly, had a calming effect. you took a deep, shaky breath, forcing yourself to focus on the rhythm of your inhalations and exhalations. slowly, the panic began to recede, leaving you drained but a little hopeful.
together, you searched for a suitable spot. you found it nestled under the sprawling branches of an ancient oak, its thick trunk offering a sense of security. the ground beneath it was clear of debris, providing a relatively comfortable place to sit.
ni-ki helped you gather fallen leaves and twigs, creating a makeshift cushion. you settled onto it, your body trembling slightly despite the warmth of the setting sun.
he sat down beside you, a respectful distance separating your bodies. the air crackled with an awkward silence, a stark contrast to your earlier bickering.
"thank you," you finally whispered, surprised by the words leaving your lips.
he offered a small smile. "for what?"
"for...not being a jerk," you mumbled, embarrassed.
he chuckled softly, a sound devoid of mockery. "seems like we both have to learn to cooperate sometimes, pipsqueak."
you couldn't help but let out a weak smile, a small flicker of warmth returning to your chest. maybe, just maybe, there was a sliver of humanity beneath ni-ki's cocky exterior. as the last rays of sunlight dipped below the horizon, plunging the forest into darkness, you leaned back against the rough bark of the oak, a strange sense of calm washing over you. 
you weren't friends, not by a long shot. but for now, in the face of the unknown, you had each other. and perhaps, just perhaps, this forced cooperation might lead to something more, something you weren't quite ready to name.
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the forest floor was a tapestry of inky black shadows under the cloak of night. the initial panic had subsided, replaced by a gnawing hunger that rumbled in your stomach. you glanced at the pile of foraged mushrooms and roots nestled beside you, a meagre dinner at best.
"so," ni-ki drawled, his voice barely a whisper in the stillness. "any idea how to build a fire with those twigs?"
you scoffed. "as if you could tell a pinecone from a pile of leaves."
he shot you a mock glare. "says the one who screamed at a beetle."
you swatted his arm playfully, surprised at the almost friendly gesture. "alright, alright. i may have overreacted a bit."
a flicker of amusement danced in his eyes. "a bit? pip squeak, you practically launched yourself into orbit."
despite the teasing, a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. you fumbled with the meagre tinder you'd gathered, frustration building. just as you were about to give up, a gentle hand reached for yours.
"here," he murmured, taking the twigs from your grasp. "let me show you."
with surprising dexterity, he built a small, precarious structure of leaves and twigs. you watched in fascination as he coaxed a spark from a flint and steel you hadn't even noticed him carrying. soon, a tiny flame flickered to life, growing steadily into a small but comforting fire.
a sense of peace, however fragile, settled between you as you roasted the meagre mushrooms and roots over the flames. the silence wasn't antagonistic anymore, filled instead with the crackling fire and the occasional chirping of crickets.
"so," you started hesitantly, "what made you decide to learn survival skills?"
he shrugged, poking a particularly stubborn mushroom with a stick. "always good to be prepared, you know? never know when you might end up stranded in the middle of nowhere with a drama queen for company."
you threw a playful punch at his arm, the sting of your earlier animosity fading. "hey, at least i don't trip over bugs."
he chuckled, the sound surprisingly warm. "touché, pipsqueak."
as you ate your dinner, you found yourself stealing glances at him. in the flickering firelight, his face seemed softer, less arrogant. you realised with a jolt that his presence, although unexpected, wasn't actually that bad. maybe this forced cooperation was revealing a side of ni-ki you hadn't seen before.
the night wore on, the stars twinkling coldly above. the fire had long since died, leaving behind a fading warmth that couldn't compete with the growing chill. you shifted uncomfortably, the hard ground digging into your back. a shiver wracked your body, the thin jacket doing little to ward off the creeping cold.
out of the corner of your eye, you saw ni-ki shift too, his shoulders slumped against the tree. he let out a barely audible sigh, his breath misting in the cool air.
neither of you spoke, but a silent understanding hung in the air. you were both miserable, the bitter taste of rivalry a distant memory compared to the immediate need for warmth.
with a hesitant movement, you inched closer to the tree trunk, hoping to find a slightly more comfortable position. almost imperceptibly, ni-ki did the same. your shoulders brushed, a jolt of surprise shooting through you. he didn't move away, and after a moment, you leaned in slightly, seeking a sliver of shared warmth.
his arm was close now, separated by only the thin layer of your jacket. you stole a glance at him, expecting a sarcastic remark or a playful jab. but his eyes were closed, his face etched with fatigue.
hesitantly, you reached out, stopping just before your hand touched his arm. he stirred slightly, a low murmur escaping his lips. taking a deep breath, you rested your hand lightly against the worn fabric of his jacket, just below his elbow.
he didn't flinch. instead, he seemed to relax a fraction more, his arm moving ever so slightly to brush against yours.
in the silence broken only by the rustle of leaves and the occasional hoot of an owl, you found a strange comfort. maybe it was the shared misery of the situation, maybe it was the unexpected friendly(?) atmosphere that had sprung up between you. whatever it was, the tension had melted away, replaced by a fragile sense of trust.
sleep claimed you slowly, the warmth of your shared body heat a welcome haven against the encroaching chill. you didn't fall asleep with the intention of being close, but in the quiet intimacy of the night, you found a solace you hadn't expected. as you drifted off, a single thought flickered through your mind: maybe this forced adventure wouldn't be so bad after all.
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the first sliver of sunlight, faint and tentative, peeked through the dense canopy, painting delicate stripes across ni-ki's eyelids. he stirred, a low groan escaping his lips as the ache in his back made itself known. he cracked one eye open, then the other, blinking against the sudden brightness.
his breath hitched. you were nestled against him, your head resting on his chest. your arms were wrapped tightly around him, one hand burrowed into the thin fabric of his shirt. his chin rested on the crown of your head, his heart hammering a frantic rhythm against his ribs.
he had absolutely no memory of this happening. had you gotten cold in the night and sought his warmth instinctively? the thought sent a warmth of its own blooming in his chest, a warmth at odds with the chill of the morning air. he was utterly captivated. you looked peaceful, your normally sharp features softened in sleep, a light dusting of pink staining your cheeks.
just as he was about to lose himself in the unexpected sight, your eyes fluttered open. they met his gaze, and a slow, mischievous smile spread across your face.
"good morning, sleepyhead," you murmured, your voice thick with sleep.
ni-ki's cheeks flushed crimson. "m-morning," he stammered, his voice rough from disuse. he tried to disentangle himself from your hold, feeling ridiculously flustered by your closeness.
"nope," you declared playfully, tightening your grip. "this is actually really comfortable. don't move."
he froze, his cheeks burning hotter than ever. his mind raced, torn between wanting to maintain this unexpected closeness and wanting to bolt. a small chuckle escaped your lips, the sound vibrating against his chest.
"relax, drama king," you said, your voice soft. "we're not exactly cuddling in a meadow filled with daisies."
he couldn't help but let out a small laugh himself. the tension started to ease, replaced by a warmth that had nothing to do with the rising sun. slowly, he re-wrapped his arm around you, drawing you closer.
"fine," he conceded, feigning annoyance. "but don't think this changes anything, pipsqueak."
you threw your head back and laughed, a bright, genuine sound that echoed through the silent forest. "of course not, ni-ki," you replied, your voice playful. "we're still enemies, remember?"
"enemies who share a surprisingly comfortable tree," he countered, his gaze flickering to the way your hand instinctively rested on his arm.
"so," you said after a moment of comfortable silence, "how do you propose we get ourselves out of this mess?"
the playful mood evaporated as the reality of their situation came flooding back. he cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus. "we need to find a landmark, something we remember from the trail. maybe a creek, or a distinctive rock formation. then we can work our way back from there."
you hummed in agreement, your head nuzzling deeper into his chest. "alright, well, let's not get up just yet. it's still pretty cold out here."
a small smile tugged at ni-ki's lips. this unexpected closeness, born out of necessity, felt strangely…nice. he wasn't sure what the future held, or if this forced truce would last beyond getting back to camp, but for now, in the quiet intimacy of the morning, he wouldn't trade this for anything. "yeah," he agreed, feeling a warmth spread through him that had nothing to do with the rising sun. "let's stay here just a little while longer."
the forest around you both remained cloaked in a pre-dawn twilight, but the horizon was ablaze with the promise of a new day. streaks of fiery orange and vibrant pink bled into the inky blue sky, painting a breathtaking canvas above the silent trees. you couldn't help but let out a soft gasp of awe, the discomfort of the hard ground momentarily forgotten.
ni-ki glanced down at you, his gaze lingering on the way your eyes sparkled in the soft light. "beautiful, isn't it?" he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.
you nodded, mesmerised by the vibrant display of colours. "it's incredible," you breathed.
a comfortable silence settled between you, the only sounds the gentle rustle of leaves and the chirping of a few early birds. despite the awkwardness of your situation, a strange sense of peace washed over you. ni-ki, with his arm still loosely wrapped around you, seemed less arrogant in the morning light, a hint of vulnerability softening his features.
as the sun climbed higher, painting the leaves in a warm golden glow, you tore your gaze away from the sky. "alright," you announced, a newfound determination in your voice. "let's get serious about finding our way back."
ni-ki mirrored your seriousness. "right. we need to focus." he sat up straight, his gaze scanning the surrounding area. "do you remember anything about the trail? a specific tree, maybe, or a turn-off?"
you wracked your brain, a memory flickering to life. "there was a large, twisted oak tree on the right side of the trail, just before a steep downhill slope. maybe if we can find that..."
"bingo!" ni-ki exclaimed, a grin splitting his face. "i remember that tree too! it was kind of gnarled and had these weird, knobbly branches."
relief flooded your chest. "okay, so let's head east. the sun should be rising in the east, right?"
ni-ki nodded, pulling out the compass he'd managed to find tucked away in a pocket of his backpack. "yeah, the sun should be roughly in the east at this time." he consulted the compass for a moment, then pointed in a direction. "alright, this way."
together, you rose to your feet, your muscles protesting slightly after a night spent on the cold ground. but the prospect of finding your way back to your friends fuelled your movements. you followed the direction ni-ki indicated, carefully navigating the trees, your eyes peeled for any sign of the twisted oak.
the forest seemed less menacing in the bright morning light. you pointed out landmarks – a fallen log, a clump of brightly coloured mushrooms – hoping they might jog ni-ki's memory. he, in turn, shared his knowledge of edible plants and tracking techniques, a surprising wellspring of information hidden beneath his usual cocky exterior.
after what felt like an eternity, your heart leaped into your throat. there, standing defiant against the backdrop of younger trees, was the twisted oak you remembered. you let out a whoop of joy, a sound that echoed through the silent trees.
ni-ki's face mirrored your elation, a genuine smile gracing his features.
relief and a strange sense of accomplishment washed over you. you had faced your fear, survived the night, and most importantly, worked together. maybe, just maybe, this experience would change your dynamic with ni-ki, adding a layer of respect and perhaps a touch of something more.
the familiar path leading back to the campsite emerged from the trees, a beacon of hope and relief. a surge of exhilaration coursed through you. you had made it! without thinking, you spun towards ni-ki, a wide grin splitting your face.
"we did it!" you exclaimed, reaching out impulsively. your fingers grazed his cheek, sending a jolt through you. fuelled by the adrenaline of the moment, and perhaps the lingering intimacy of the night, you leaned in further, your lips brushing against his in a sudden, unexpected kiss.
the world seemed to shrink to just the two of you. time slowed, the sound of the forest fading away. but the kiss was short-lived. ni-ki froze, his eyes widening in surprise. he gently pushed you away, his breath hitching.
"whoa," he stammered, his voice laced with confusion. "what was that?"
you stumbled back, cheeks burning with embarrassment. your mind raced, replaying the past few seconds in a humiliating loop. what had you just done? the audacity of your own actions left you speechless.
"i-i..." you stammered, searching for an explanation that wouldn't sound completely insane. "i'm just...so relieved we're back. thank you for helping me, ni-ki." the words sounded lame even to your own ears.
but before you could retreat any further, ni-ki surprised you again. his hand shot out, grabbing you firmly by the waist and pulling you back towards him. this time, there was no hesitation in his eyes. he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was anything but hesitant.
you melted against him, all thoughts of embarrassment melting away in the heat of the moment. you responded instinctively, your arms wrapping around his neck as you deepened the kiss. the forest around you faded away, the only sound the frantic thudding of your own heart.
finally, ni-ki pulled away, his breath ragged. his eyes, usually so sharp and playful, were now a warm brown, flecked with gold in the morning sunlight. a slow smile spread across his face, a genuine, unguarded smile that sent a flutter to your stomach.
"wow," he breathed, his voice husky. "that was..." he trailed off, searching for the right words.
you swallowed, your own voice barely a whisper. "unexpected?"
he chuckled, a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. "unexpected is definitely one word for it." he paused, his gaze holding yours. "but not unwelcome."
the sound of distant shouts jolted you both back to reality. a chorus of voices, laced with worry and relief, echoed through the trees. you pulled away from ni-ki, suddenly acutely aware of your dishevelled state and the way his lips tingled where yours had been.
"there you two are!" heeseung's voice cut through the trees as he emerged from the path, followed by your other friends. relief washed over their faces, quickly replaced by a flurry of questions and concerned chatter.
"we were starting to think you got eaten by a bear!" sunoo exclaimed, his eyes wide.
you launched into a rapid-fire explanation of your ordeal, leaving out the very recent, and frankly, earth-shattering development with ni-ki. your friends listened intently, bombarding you with questions about the night and how you managed to find your way back.
through it all, you were hyper aware of ni-ki standing beside you. he chimed in occasionally, his voice oddly subdued, and you could steal glances at him, catching the hint of a smile playing on his lips.
then, as you finished your story, jake nudged you playfully. "wow, you guys must have been really scared out there all night. scared enough to, i don't know, eat each other's faces off?"
a collective gasp went up from your friends, their eyes darting between you and ni-ki. your cheeks burned crimson. "what? no!" you sputtered, flustered.
ni-ki chuckled, a low sound that sent shivers down your spine. "yeah, jake," he drawled, his voice teasing. "luckily for us, bears were the only thing on the menu last night."
his playful jab sent another wave of heat flooding your face. you stole a glance at him, and your breath caught in your throat. he was looking at you, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes, but there was something else there too, something warm and unguarded that made your heart skip a beat.
you looked away quickly, a shy smile tugging at your lips. maybe this unexpected turn of events wasn't so bad after all.
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𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr
˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱
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fandoms--fluff · 10 months ago
Note
Heloop can you do one of baby Mikaelson, that she is always with nik and Elijah but when Hayley comes to leave with them yn what to be with her
New Favorite
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Baby Mikaelson sister reader x Hayley marshall (+ Klaus & Elijah)
Warnings: pregnancy?
A/n: I've been wanting to write something like this for a while and I got so happy when this request came in!
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You peek out from behind your big brother, Elijah's, leg. Across the room, where she's sitting on the couch with her legs crossed, is Hayley. The lady who all of your brothers and sister have been fighting about what should happen.
Apparently something happened with Niky and her, but no one will tell you and you've been too nervous to go up to Hayley and actually say something to her.
The closest you ever gotten to her is right now, holding on for dear life to Elijah's leg. You don't like being around people you aren't familiar with. Which I weird that you're feeling like that with Hayley, Elijah has been noticing, since you technically have met her before in Mystic Falls. But you guys did just move back to New Orleans and it's a bigger change for you considering you like being in Mystic Falls, that's sometimes hard to believe truthfully for him. Then again you don't have some horrendous memories of the place like the others do.
You look at what she's wearing and your eyes land on her hands. On her fingers, there are a couple rings in various shapes and some have a colorful stone on them.
Elijah is talking with Niky. It sounds like he's mad with him. Though that's not really concerning to you considering he and Elijah get into fights all the time, so you're used to it. The same with when Niky and Bekah also get into fights.
As they continue to squabble, you carefully start letting go of your big brother's leg and start to make your way over to Hayley. You move slowly, not wanting to accidently trip like you do sometimes when you're nervous or excited.
Hayley looks down and sees you standing a couple feet away the end of the couch supporting your small basically toddler frame. She smiles softly, she took a liking to you during her time in Mystic Falls. Even though she despised, and still kinda does, Klaus, she likes how he acts all soft and protective of you.
She's noticed you're basically always with either Elijah or Klaus. Whether that be them carrying you, holding your hand, you attached to their legs or just being in the same room.
"Hi there" She speaks to you first, her tone soft.
You look up at her with big eyes and take a small step towards her, still holding onto the couch cushions on the way. You lift your other tiny hand up to give her a small wave.
It takes you a moment to climb up on the couch and sit down on your knees, facing her.
She has to admit, You're pretty cute.
You look up at her face and then down at her hands, repeating that a couple more times. Your sight finally lands on her hands. The rings shine under the light.
She realizes it's her rings you're looking at, so she moves her hand and places it in front of you, right above your knees. "You like my rings?" She asks you quietly.
You wrap your tiny hands around her hand and start tracing the ring with a butterfly on it. It takes you a moment to reply, but quietly you finally say something, "Pretty." You mumbled before looking back up at her, your hands still clutched to hers.
"It is, isn't it?" She smiles.
Rebekah walks into the house from being out all day. She rolls her eyes at the two arguing. Instead, she made her way to the both of you.
"Well, I think it's time for a certain someone to get ready for bed," She tells you after reading the clock that's sitting on the mantel.
You frown before complying and climb off the couch. You reach up and grab your big sister's outstretched hand. As you guys start walking toward the stairs, you look back and wave a 'bye' to Hayley.
Over the next few months, you start spending more time with Hayley. You got attached to her quickly. She revealed to you about being pregnant with Klaus' child, earning an excited reaction from you, and getting a smile out of herself as well.
It seems as if you're spending more time with Hayley than your brothers. As Rebekah has teased your guys' brothers about.
Klaus sits with you on your bed, trying to get you to sleep. Which isn't working in his favor. When you want to be, you can be more stubborn than Rebekah, and that's saying something.
"It's past your bedtime" He whispers. He's not exactly trying that hard anyway, but you usually listen to him.
"Bad sleep" You frown up at him. "No, not bad sleep, you need sleep, or else you'll be grumpy in the morning," He says, leaving out the point on how Elijah will have his head if he lets you stay up way too late again.
"So let's lay back down, curl up, and go to sleep," He tells you softly, handing you your stuffed yellow teddy bear.
You slowly follow his wording and snuggle your teddy bear as he tucks you in. Your brother places a kiss on your head before turning the lamp off and slowly leaves the room.
After laying in your bed for ten minutes, unable to fall asleep, you sit back up and shuffle out of your bed.
You quietly walk out into the hallway until you find yourself in what used to be Kol's room and now is Hayley's. You patter in and Hayley looks up from her book to see you standing a couple feet away with your teddy bear clutched in your hand.
"Hey sweetie, aren't you supposed to be in bed" She asked you, already knowing the answer. "uh-uh" You shake your head and walk over to the bed and climb up with Hayley helping you.
"Whatever you say, hun" She chuckles.
You crawl closer to her. She lifts her right arm up, having you cuddle into her side. You move down a bit to rest your head on her pregnancy bump. You giggle from the feeling of magic coming from the baby. You're the only one who seems to be able to feel any of it.
You hug your teddy with one arm while your other hand is tracing shapes on Hayley's bump, tiredly. Not even ten minutes later, you're out like a light.
Klaus searches around the house, trying to find you. He hasn't seen you all morning. While he searches, Elijah stands up from where he's sat. "What's wrong?"
"I can't seem to find our baby sister anywhere" Klaus answers before leaving the room, obvious that you're not in here. Elijah follows after him.
"Have you checked Hayley's room?" Elijah asks him. That makes him pause before going up the stairs to where the bedrooms are.
He opens the door to the pregnant werewolf's room and walks in. What he sees makes him breathe a sigh of relief. Showing in front of them, Hayley and you are sound asleep, you cuddled into her arms with your bear still in your grasp.
"What are you two doing? There are more than enough reasons as to why not to wake up one of them, let alone both of them" Rebekah whisper at them, pulling the two men out of the bedroom and closing the door.
"But I think, you guys have been replaced with a new favorite" Rebekah smirks, nodding to Hayley's door before walking away.
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gluion · 19 days ago
Text
wish you were sober — seok matthew
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seok matthew x reader, slight myung jaehyun x reader
wc — 6.9k genre & warnings — fluff, light angst, crack, friends to lovers, alcohol consumption, vomitting in one scene, kissing/making out, jealousy, zb1 friendgroup antics, HAOBIN AND GYUBRIK CANON SRY, boynextdoor and kiss of life cameo, reader has hair long enough to be tucked and held back playlist/inspired by — apt. by rosé & bruno mars // sober II by lorde // wish you were sober by conan gray // urs by niki // lovers rock by tv girl notes — wrote this mainly bc my life changed the moment matthew read my sign in the jebewon con, finished it the day matthew was @ the prada event. and in both instances, i've gotten significantly more ill, so here's this very self-indulgent, self-insert fic (where aspects are derived from my own experiences) <3 if you enjoyed reading, please do reblog and leave feedback! request to be part of the taglist! masterlist
synopsis — as far as matthew knows, you still liked another man. yet, your friendship with him takes a sudden turn over a drunken confession... or three.
(or in other words, the three times you confess to matthew under the influence but he never believes you—until you tell him sober.)
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the first time you confess to matthew happens on the night of hanbin’s graduation—no, not a confession of love but one of attraction.
if matthew has to be completely honest, he still doesn’t know what to make of your words. over the course of three years, he wouldn’t have suspected your interest in him. if anything, he’s under the impression you still like jaehyun. yet, everything shifts the moment he stumbles into the same bathroom as you.
“hanbin, have you found yourself a job?” gyuvin pops the long awaited question.
more than half of the group finds themselves in the kitchen. matthew knows that gunwook’s coming from soccer practice and yujin had to stay home for a doctor’s appointment the next day. as for you, he remembers seeing you with julie on the search for jaehyun and sungho.
the graduated fellow groans. “don’t remind me that i’m unemployed. this whole job search is going to kill me.” hao chuckles as hanbin rests his head on his shoulder.
gyuvin slings his arm around jiwoong’s shoulders. “oh, don’t worry! i’m sure this employed man can make something happen, right?” 
“me? you should be asking ricky!” all eyes land on the blond who sips away on a drink. “he’s the one with a family business. i’m barely making it in that goddamn nine to five that i’m still mixing shit for you college students.”
ricky elbows jiwoong’s side, causing the man to yelp. “you could be asking me for a job if you really hated the one you have now.”
“really? you could save me?” jiwoong almost gets on his knees until matthew holds him back.
“please don’t do that. not everyone knows you here.”
the man complies and puts his hands together. “ricky, please. i might just kill myself if i have to deal with another overtime. i mean, i can’t even remember the last time i properly hung out with you guys.”
“i don’t think anyone expects you to stick with us all the time. you have a job.” taerae’s point only brings him to a fit of laughter as jiwoong tickles him.
regardless of how loud taerae and jiwoong are, the rest of the group continues to discuss hanbin’s dilemma. “but yes, i could make something happen if you really want,” ricky offers.
“really? thank you!” hanbin hugs him. “it’s almost impossible to find a job. i don’t know why.”
“tell me about it. i can’t even get an internship. i’m already willing to settle for an unpaid one but no one seems to be accepting,” taerae complains as he leans against the wall. 
hao swishes around the alcohol in his cup. “that does make me wanna ask what the upcoming seniors are planning to do.” his eyes darted between taerae and matthew.
taerae grins. “the goal is to become a trophy wife.”
“of course it is.” gyuvin laughs before leaning against ricky. “i’m marked safe. i don’t know about you guys.”
jiwoong groans while taerae rolls his eyes at their public display of affection. “you don’t have to rub it in our faces.”
“yeah, whatever. what about you?” ricky looks at matthew. “are you still planning for medschool or is there another career crisis happening again?”
he shakes his head. “nah, i’m still pretty set on med school. next year is going to be hell for me.”
“ah, that means matthew is going to be the one providing for his partner! taerae, now’s your chance.” hanbin’s joke has everyone bursting into laughter.
taerae dramatically clears his throat, choking in between which only makes them wheeze. “matthew, can i be yours?”
matthew gets closer to his friend, his face only a few inches apart before saying, “not until you let me become yours.” at his double down, everyone starts to make gagging noises, including taerae who physically cringes.
“get a room!”
“damn, no kiss?” ricky’s joke in contrast to gyuvin’s complaint has jiwoong chuckling.
“yeah, you know what? fuck you, guys. i’m going to find someone at this damn party.” with that, taerae ventures off. jiwoong follows without another word.
gyuvin’s phone rings in his pocket. as he brings it out, he sees a message. “oh, gunwook’s already here! i’m gonna go grab him.” ricky trails behind his partner, leaving matthew with the other couple. 
hanbin looks around before asking, “hey, where is y/n?”
“last time i saw them, they were looking for myungjae and sungho.” matthew chugs down his drink before letting out a sigh.
“i wonder when they’ll finally grow a pair and ask him out, or just do something about it,” hao wonders out loud as he stares off into the crowd. “it’s almost painful to watch. i feel like i need to play cupid.”
“wait, why haven’t you been helping them out?”
hanbin’s question has matthew laughing in disbelief. “you think i haven’t? i’ve done almost everything to push them. i even told them all the signs that show he’s clearly interested, but y/n won’t budge. i’m surprised they’ve been sane enough to not say anything even while drunk.”
it almost seems like their conversation summoned jaehyun into the kitchen as he comes rushing to them. “oh, speak of the devil. we were just talking about you,” matthew says with a smile until he sees worry taking over jaehyun’s features.
“guys, i think y/n had too much to drink.”
matthew stands up straight. “where are they?”
“in the bathroom with julie.”
without another word, matthew makes his way to you while jaehyun follows. “what even happened?”
“y/n was fine, i swear. with how they were acting, we all thought they were just tipsy. but it was like watching a sudden switch from that to… genuinely almost passing out.”
it’s not that matthew doesn’t trust jaehyun. if anything, he would trust him any other day to watch over you, but tonight’s events only show that jaehyun still has much to learn about you. the guilt in his voice only shows how much he cares.
as soon as matthew spots sungho and natty outside of the bathroom, he rushes to them. “oh, thank god you’re here. julie is helping them freshen up right now,” sungho says. 
“we weren’t trying to get them blackout drunk, we swear. we really thought they were okay, but i don’t think they ate enough before drinking. me and julie were helping y/n as they were throwing up but they kept looking for you.”
matthew rubs his chin over natty’s explanation. “can i go in?”
“uh, let me check.” natty knocks on the door before swinging it open.
“matthew, we’re sorry. we really didn’t know,” jaehyun apologizes.
before matthew can say anything, julie exits the bathroom. “i think they puked out whatever they could. just make sure they stay close to the toilet.”
without another word, matthew makes his way to the doorway. he sees your hunched figure by the bathtub as you sit on the tiled-floor. in your drunken state, you don’t notice him as you quietly sing a melody.
matthew should’ve been filled with worry. yet, he thinks back to natty’s words, and the image of you looking for him plays in his mind—and it’s a smile that he can’t get rid of.
once he closes the door behind him, your eyes snap to him. “matthew! you’re here.” your slurred words bring him to a chuckle.
matthew remembers the last time you were this drunk; it’s funny to find you in the same situation after telling him multiple times that you wouldn’t drink that much ever again. he crouches to your side, taking in the sight of your disheveled state. “y/n, i thought we weren’t going to drink that much anymore.”
“i know,” you hiccup before your eyes shut, “i’m sorry.”
sure, you were always a mess whenever you drank this much, but you were never intolerable—never to matthew. (after all, he’d deal with you in your most intoxicated state over the others.)
his hand reaches out to tuck some strands behind your ear. at the presence of his warmth, your cheek snuggles against his palm. “you don’t have to be sorry. it’s okay.” you melt into his touch. 
without thinking, his thumb caresses your cheek, etching invisible shapes onto your skin. he watches you twitch over the action, and your eyes meet him once more. 
matthew’s ready to draw his hand back, help you stand up and escort you back to your place—
“you’re so pretty.”
his movements halt. matthew doesn’t know if he heard you right or if the alcohol is getting to him as well.
“huh?”
and the next thing you say stops him from breathing. “you’re so cute.”
it’s not unusual for you to compliment him, really, but something’s different about now. maybe it’s the alcohol or the distance between you two, but all matthew knows is that your words carried some weight different from other instances.
perhaps now is the worst time for matthew to be stuck in a daze. you’re drunk. he shouldn’t be making a fuss over the nonsense you spout, which is why he fails to catch the telltale signs of your impending nausea. (and you clearly wouldn’t have caught yourself in your intoxicated state.)
before you both know it, you throw up on yourself, and that finally snaps matthew out of a haze. he’s quick to grab the trashcan and bring it close to you. as you vomit, he holds your hair back. it keeps on going, and going, and going—at least matthew will take that as a clear sign that you’re done for the night.
on the next day, matthew asks if you remember what you said last night. when he’s met by your confusion, he knows better than to not think anymore of what you said then.
(and instead of sharing your slurred words, he tells you of the vomiting mishap in the bathroom. jesus fucking christ, i am not drinking ever again, you say in embarrassment.)
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ever since that night, matthew has made it a habit to ask about your progress with jaehyun. it’s not that he’s running away from the events of that night. after all, hanbin’s right; matthew should do a better job in playing cupid for you and jaehyun. yet, all questions pertaining to your relationship with the boy were always met with a shrug and a refusal to dive into the details.
a few months pass. something romantic has yet to develop between you and jaehyun. at this point, matthew is feeling hopeless about the future you dream with that boy, but he isn’t the type to give up. he knows that there’s something between you two—all you need is a push.
“happy birthday, gyuvin!” everyone cheers as their cups clink against each other.
the birthday boy grins as he leans on ricky’s shoulder. “thanks, everyone. i’m glad you guys are here,” he mumbles. his cheeks have gone red and his words are starting to slur. considering how long the party has been going, matthew isn’t surprised to see gyuvin very much intoxicated.
for his birthday, he decided to invite his friends from his other social circles; basketball jocks, gaming nerds, and even student council folks take over his house as they talk and play over drinks. gyuvin thinks now would be the best time for all of his friends to meet. still, most of the group sticks together.
“you know, you should just hire me to bartend for your parties. everyone in this party seems to be chugging the drinks i mix for them,” jiwoong jokes as he bumps his shoulder against gyuvin.
“isn’t the next party going to be halloween? are we even planning to host one?” hanbin asks.
taerae tries to recall the previous arrangement. “didn’t we agree to spend halloween with yujin?”
“nah, we decided on christmas. yujin said he has plans for halloween, so we can host or just find another party to crash.” gunwook’s response brings the whole group to look at him. he raises his hands in defense. “don’t look at me! i’m not offering to host.”
“does myungjae not plan to host one?” hao’s question seems to be directed at matthew with how his eyes are on him.
jiwoong brings his hands together. “perfect! he might hire me.”
matthew rolls his shoulders back. ever since he tried playing cupid, he doesn’t know why everyone seems to go to him for anything related to you and jaehyun. first, it was when gunwook wanted to know about jaehyun’s schedule. next, it was gyuvin when he asked if jaehyun and his friends would be attending this party.
it’s not like matthew knew everything about myung jaehyun. 
(unfortunately, it doesn’t help that he only has jaehyun’s schedule because he had to find a way to make you spend time with him. what doesn’t help his case any more is that he only knew of jaehyun’s attendance because he wanted to make use of this party to push you to do something.)
“i wouldn’t know.” matthew takes a sip of his drink. “and, wouldn’t hanbin know? he’s closer to myungjae than i am.”
“we should just ask him. where is he, anyway?” hanbin looks around.
“probably with y/n, or something,” ricky jokes before swaying in his spot with gyuvin. “any update on that? what’s been going on with them.”
all matthew does is shrug in response.
“guys, hear me out…” gyuvin calls on the group’s attention. “truth or dare.”
a beat passes.
“let’s go find myungjae.”
“yah! it’s my birthday.” gyuvin pouts over hao’s reaction. “don’t you guys think it’ll be fun?”
jiwoong scoffs at gyuvin’s question. “fun? the last time we played, it resulted in someone losing their clothes and me almost losing my job from a tweet you guys made.”
“i thought you hated your job, anyway.” taerae’s comment results in a scolding from jiwoong. “what?! i’m just pointing it out.”
while some were against the idea, others were onboard with gyuvin’s idea. “i’m sure it’ll be fun. let’s get myungjae and the others to join in as well,” gunwook suggests.
then, it hits matthew that this is it—this is the opportunity that he needs to push you. under the guise of a simple and fun game of truth or dare, he could maximize whatever option you choose. “i’m in.”
everyone ends up agreeing with gyuvin’s game. from there on, all matthew needs to do is grab you and jaehyun and hope that his plan moves forward. (and get his other friends to join, sure.)
matthew is lucky that he’s able to spot julie in a sea of students. while she’s busy chatting with the seniors, he realizes that you and jaehyun aren’t with her. he continues to move through the crowd. the last thing he wants is to see you too drunk to function, especially when the universe presented him with the perfect opportunity for you and jaehyun.
yet, it comes to his surprise that he sees you in the corner, whispering into the ear of your crush with your hand against his chest. the grin on jaehyun’s face is enough for matthew.
maybe you didn’t need your friend’s help. just from the distance (or the lack of it), matthew thinks you might have everything under control. that means that matthew can sit back and allow you two to unfold this romance.
but there’s a sting in matthew’s chest. he’s sure it’s not a heart attack; it should come in a form of squeezing, and the pain should spread throughout his body. yet, the one he’s experiencing is merely an ache. maybe he should hold himself back from drinking any more.
“have you found y/n?” gunwook rests his hand on matthew’s shoulder. before matthew can respond, gunwook spots you and jaehyun. “myungjae! y/n!” at his call, you two snap your attention to them. matthew can already tell how intoxicated you are from how you spin your head to his direction. “come! we’re gonna play a game.” with that, gunwook takes his leave.
matthew’s suspicions are further proven with your inability to walk straight to him. “matthew! there you are,” you giggle as your arm links with his. your hiccup brings matthew to look at jaehyun.
“how much did they have this time?”
“less than the last time, but i’d still argue quite a lot.” 
while matthew and jaehyun try to find the group, you continue to latch onto matthew’s arm as you walk sluggishly. “do you not drink a lot?” matthew asks jaehyun.
the boy hums for a moment. “i do, but i think it’s better if i drink less when i’m around y/n. at least i’d be sober enough to take care of them.”
matthew has no reason to doubt jaehyun, especially with an answer like that. he knows that jaehyun would care for any of his friends; jaehyun’s always been the type to help out his friends with any task, but his choice to take that extra step tells matthew enough of his adoration for you.
“what are you guys talking about? are you talking about me?” you slur the question as you tug on matthew’s arm. “it better be good things.”
matthew can’t help but laugh.
as soon as matthew and jaehyun spot the rest of their friends gathering into a circle around a bottle, the three of you quickly find your own spots to settle into.
jaehyun takes a seat near sungho, leaving some space beside him. before matthew can go somewhere farther to sit, your grip on his arm holds him back. “hey, stay with me.” matthew’s eyes flicker between your drunken expression and jaehyun’s gaze fixed on him and you.
“you’re okay. you’ll be with myungjae.”
matthew’s confident that you would agree to sit beside jaehyun. after all, the boy took care of you for most of the night. yet, your grip never falters, and nothing could’ve prepared him for the last sentence you mumble, one only for him to hear.
“no. want you with me.” 
matthew stills. the music becomes muffled and the chatter surrounding him falls silent. instead, the beating of his heart fills his ears as heat rises to his cheeks—and he doesn’t know why. 
“hey! sit down!” gyuvin calls him out. with all eyes on you two, matthew doesn’t want to upset you any further. if he pushed to sit somewhere else, it would only cause a scene, and that’s the last thing he wants on his friend’s birthday. matthew finds himself sinking into a spot beside you.
the game proceeds accordingly, where most chug some more alcohol with every round that passes. secrets spill out of people’s mouths and laughter seems to fill the air. and for some reason, with all the times that’s passed, you stayed leaning against matthew.
at least you weren’t drinking along with the others.
after multiple interrogations and embarrassing dares, taerae spins the bottle. “please please please, don’t make it me again,” he prays as everyone watches the bottle go in circles.
“i’d laugh if you had to do another one,” gunwook says before taking another shot. “actually, i’m going to hope it lands on you!”
taerae tackles his friend to the ground over his comment, making him yell out complaints. yet, the universe works in taerae’s favor—and also matthew’s.
“oh my god, finally!” taerae cheers as he sees the bottle pointing at you.
you blink a couple of times. “oh, fuck me.” your head finds its spot behind your hands.
“i have been waiting for this one.” taerae rubs his hands together. “truth or dare?”
you have always been the type to choose truth. with the group’s history with dares, you weren’t the type to take that risk, which is why it comes as a surprise to everyone when you say, “fuck it, give me a dare.”
this is it. this is the opportunity that matthew needed. “i have a dare!” he beats everyone from spitting out any useless suggestion. as soon as all eyes are on him, he glances at jaehyun before saying, “i dare you to do seven minutes in heaven.”
your eyes go wide over matthew’s suggestion. “what the fuck?” you smack his arm. “no way in hell am i going to do that!”
“nu-uh! a dare is a dare,” ricky argues. “don’t try to get out of this.”
gyuvin speaks up, “if it helps, you don’t have to do anything with anyone. take this as your opportunity to bond with someone, get your heart-to-heart talk or something. but you can also make out with them, we don’t really care.” before he can take another shot, ricky stops him from doing so.
you groan at your friends’ insistence. “but with who?”
the stars are aligning for matthew. he’s about to chime in with the perfect name—
“what if we just spin the bottle again?” all hope shatters for matthew, and myung jaehyun is to blame. “that can determine who will be with y/n. it’s completely by chance.”
before matthew can interject, gyuvin claps at jaehyun’s suggestion. “you know what? you’re so fucking smart. let’s do that.” with how intoxicated the birthday boy is, no one seems to go against his idea, including you, and matthew fears what will unfold once that bottle lands on someone that isn’t jaehyun.
as soon as gyuvin reaches out to spin the bottle, matthew shuts his eyes in hopes that the universe would listen to him in the same way it did with taerae. he’s not even doing this for himself—it’s all for you. he wants you to win as much as you do with yourself. (he hopes that, at least. he needs you to believe that you have something with jaehyun as much as he does. if you didn’t, then this would go nowhere.)
“oh.”
matthew says one final prayer. he opens his eyes at the sound of gyuvin’s reaction, and what he doesn’t expect to see is the bottle pointing right at him. matthew’s convinced that the universe is going against him.
“well, lead the way, birthday boy,” jiwoong says.
matthew glances at you, expecting to see disappointment, but he only sees an expression he’s never seen before—and one he can’t decipher. 
it doesn’t take a while until you and matthew are shoved into gyuvin’s walk-in closet. gunwook says they’ll keep the game going, but matthew attempts one last time to get out of this dare, only for the door to be shut right in front of his face.
as the shuffling of footsteps grow distant, matthew finally accepts defeat. he looks back to see you sitting on the floor with eyes shut. maybe you need these minutes to sober up. after all, who is the best person to take care of you if not him? 
matthew finds himself on the floor with you. seven minutes could easily pass with you two; not a single word needs to be said. but tonight, time seems to stretch into an eternity. matthew hates it.
he takes in the sight of you; your shirt’s disheveled and your nose scrunches from the heat of the room and alcohol. still, most things remain the same. your arms cross with every moment your eyes long for rest and your steady heart sounds throughout the room from every exhale.
since when did matthew notice all the small things about you? it’s not like you two were friends longer than he is with hanbin. he still finds himself forgetting trivial things about his friends—with you, it comes easy.
your eyes peel open, and for the first time, matthew’s nervous around you.
“you feeling better?”
you nod before sitting up straight. “yeah, i think the alcohol is leaving my system.”
“that’s good.”
seconds go by.
“so,” matthew clears his throat, “how are you and myungjae?”
a laugh escapes you, not like the ones whenever he cracks a joke but something he’s never heard before. “we’re okay.”
matthew waits a couple of moments until he realizes you weren’t going to expound. “oh, so now, i don’t get to hear you yap about your crush?” his comment manages to earn a laugh he’s familiar with.
but it’s turned into a reality. he can’t remember the last time you actually talked to him about myung jaehyun. if anything, it’s almost like you don’t want to talk about the boy to him.
matthew’s never been the type to force you to share anything, really, but he realizes it’s been a while since you mentioned the boy’s name. it’s impossible for him to ignore that. and tonight, he can blame his curiosity on the alcohol.
“are you hiding something?” 
“it’s not that.”
matthew hums. “then, what is it? 
silence falls on you two.
he takes the lack of your response as a sign. to not push any further. to not be curious. to respect your privacy.
to sit back and watch it unfold.
to forget all that you’ve said on that drunken night.
“myungjae and i are just friends.” matthew’s eyes snap up to meet yours. “we’ve always been just friends.”
“but that can change. i mean, i could help you! i’ve seen how much he cares for you, i’m convinced he likes you—”
“matthew,” you cut him off, “like i said, we’re just friends.”
he frowns. “i’m confused. just because you’re friends now doesn’t mean you can’t be something more.”
your breath hitches, and his confusion deepens.
“you really think that?”
it’s at this moment that matthew spots something different about you tonight, one he’s never been on the receiving end of to experience—your glossy eyes filled with strong, bittersweet yearning.
and he holds his breath before saying, “yes.”
the bass of the music fades away. the heat of the alcohol means nothing. matthew could care less about who he came with to this party.
right now, it’s just you two. 
“i don’t like myungjae.” your reveal causes matthew to frown. “i haven’t liked him for a while.”
“oh.”
you nod. “yeah.”
matthew has a million questions running through his head. what caused the change or heart? how long ago did you know that? is there something wrong with jaehyun and he never saw? 
“i—”
“when—”
he shakes his head. “sorry, you go first.”
“no, it’s okay. what were you going to say?”
“it’s just… i wanted to know when you realized that.”
a chuckle leaves you. “even before hanbin’s graduation party.”
“you could’ve told me! if i had known, i wouldn’t have kept pushing you to do something with myungjae.” matthew hides his mouth in embarrassment. 
you shake your head. “it’s okay. i didn’t tell you because…”
matthew notices your fingers fiddling with each other, an unconscious habit of yours whenever you’re anxious, and his confusion grows.
he doesn’t want you to think he can’t be trusted with your secrets, your stories, everything about you. after all, he wants to be your friend—your person—and how can he do that if you felt an ounce of shame to tell him that? he needed to let you know that—
“i like you.”
time stills for a moment.
for once, matthew doesn’t know what to say. 
“time’s up!” the door swings open, revealing gunwook and taerae whose grins are lopsided. “did y’all enjoy the heart-to-heart?” gunwook’s question is an innocent, light-hearted one, but the silence hanging between you two is nothing of the sort.
before matthew knows it, you let out a giggle. “of course!” in your attempt to stand up, you almost lose your footing, causing taerae to reach out to you. “sorry. i don’t know why but i feel a lot drunker than before.”
your slurred words only makes taerae shake his head. “oh, my silly lil alcoholic. let’s keep it going!”
the three of you exit in high spirits. yet, matthew finds himself stuck in his spot.
stuck in his memories.
stuck in the last conversation.
stuck in your words.
stuck in denial.
“yah, matthew! hurry up! we’re still playing,” gyuvin shouts from outside of the room.
because you’re drunk. you probably didn’t mean anything you said, like how you didn’t mean what you said at the last party. 
for the rest of the night, you continue to enjoy gyuvin’s birthday.
matthew attempts to do the same.
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it’s been two months since that conversation. on the morning after the party, you admit to the group that you lost recollection of the events that transpired on gyuvin’s birthday. with how much the birthday boy drank, he found himself in the same boat as you. taerae says that it’s only best that you don’t remember anything from that night, mainly to save his pride.
but matthew remembers it all. he remembers how you looked at him that night, how your breath hitched, how long the silence was all before you lied.
and he knows you lied.
all it took was one sight of you on a date with jaehyun for him to realize that.
matthew couldn’t believe he showed up to the halloween party, not because he wasn’t the type to deny an invite, but because it’s being hosted by jaehyun.
he has nothing against him, really, but the conversation in the closet shifted everything; his dynamic with the boy, his thoughts surrounding your relationship with jaehyun, his feelings towards you. matthew prefers to keep his distance out of respect for you two.
that doesn’t mean he won’t talk about it with others.
“i really don’t think they’re together.”
“hanbin, did you completely forget what i said?” matthew shakes his head. “they were on a date.”
he finds himself in the kitchen dressed as saiki k with an almost-finished bottle of soju in his hand. while the rest of his friends were off somewhere, hanbin and hao, who were dressed in stitch and angel onesies, stayed with him.
hao takes a sip of his drink. “how’d you know it was a date? they could’ve been hanging out for all you know.”
“well…”
“see! you can’t even defend your point.”
matthew groans. “that doesn’t change anything. i’m sure of it. i mean, they came in a couples costume!”
“they’re matching with sungho, you airhead,” hao points out.
hanbin laughs before adding, “as the incredibles, too!”
their doubtful reactions causes matthew to roll his eyes. he chugs the remaining contents of his bottle before grabbing himself another. “i thought i could trust you two.”
“and you can!” hanbin tries to snatch the bottle but fails. “dammit. just be responsible, okay? it’s already hard enough dealing with jiwoong and taerae when they’re drunk.”
hao sighs. “and you know, jiwoong’s drinking heavy tonight because he got laid off. hoping ricky can help him out.” matthew twists the cap open and drinks straight from the bottle once more. “hey, i’m still saying you should trust what we’re saying. whatever y/n shared in that closet might not be a lie.”
despite their attempts to convince matthew, he knows the truth. there’s no point in trying to prove him otherwise. so for now, he’ll drink the night away.
“i’ll see you guys later, or something.”
“matthew—”
he doesn’t spare a second to hear their protests. as much as he loves his friends, he needs some space to wallow in silence. all he longs for is a quiet space away from everyone with enough alcohol to forget everything.
“matthew!”
this is the last voice he wanted to hear, especially at his state. he sees jaehyun and sungho together dressed in black and red.
“oh my god, you’re matching with riwoo! you’re saiki k, right?” sungho asks.
matthew forces out a smile before nodding. “yeah. incredibles?” he points at the logo on their chests.
“yep! you should take a pic with riwoo!” jaehyun suggests
matthew would’ve agreed any other day, but he couldn’t talk to him. he didn’t want to ruin his relationship with the boy just because of his emotions. “myungjae, i would love to, but i have to go.”
“are you okay?”
when concern paints jaehyun’s features, matthew is reminded once more that there is nothing to hate about him. he needs to get over this whole thing. if you’re happy with jaehyun, he should learn how to be happy for you, too.
a sigh leaves matthew. “yes, sorry. i just need space, if that’s okay.”
“of course. i hope you’re okay. do you want me to bring you to a spot where it’s quiet?”
matthew shakes his head before reassuring the host, “it’s okay, i’ll figure it out on my own.” and with one final nod from jaehyun, matthew walks off.
he passes through the crowd, exchanging brief greetings with familiar faces, until he reaches a hall filled with doors. most rooms were already occupied, and the last thing matthew wants is to know what they’re doing. all he cares about is finding an unoccupied room where he can drink the night, the confusion, the pain, away.
once he reaches the final door, he quietly begs the universe to give him what he needs. as he swings the door open, he notices that the lights are off, and that’s enough for him to believe it’s unoccupied. without sparing a second thought, he shuts the door behind him before letting out a sigh.
it takes him a few seconds for his vision to adjust. with the moonlight cascading over the walls, he’s able to take in his surroundings. as soon as he spots a shelf filled with poetry books, he realizes he’s in jaehyun’s room. matthew couldn’t believe what the universe is making him undergo. he found himself in the bedroom of someone he desperately needed to get away from, but he’ll make do with the last unoccupied space—or that’s what he thought.
“matthew?”
“holy shit!” he jumps along with his heart. as he clenches his chest, his eyes dart to the source of the voice—only to see his friend, his supposed something. your chin rests on jaehyun’s mattress as you stare at him; the same, glossy eyes he witnessed in the closet. matthew clears his throat before standing up straight. “sorry, i thought i was alone.”
you shoot him a tight-lipped smile. “no, sorry i didn’t say anything as soon as you came in.”
a beat passes.
“why… uhm, why are you sitting in the dark?” his chest throbs as he asks the question.
what if you were there to meet with jaehyun later in the night? or what if you had already met with him? maybe he doesn’t want to know the reason after all.
“needed to be somewhere quiet,” you answer. he watches you take a sip from a big bottle of vodka. “somewhere away from the party.”
if you need space, matthew is going to give you that. after all, you were in this room before he arrived. “okay, i’ll go leave,” he says as he turns his back on you.
“no, it’s ok—”
“it’s okay. you were here first, so—”
“matthew.” 
how your voice wavers is enough to stop him. from leaving the room. from wallowing in pain.
from abandoning you. 
he looks back, only to be greeted by the sight of you in tears. the moonlight shines against your figure, making you glow in the dark room, and he feels all resolve crumble.
matthew rushes to you. as he takes a seat beside you, he sets the bottle on the floor before his hands reach out to cup your face. “what’s wrong?” he asks as his thumbs wipe the tears.
you don’t spare him an answer; all you do is stare right back at him as the tears stream down your face.
matthew think’s he fucked up. was he busy with his issues to notice yours? did you need him? (as much as he needs you?)
yet, as soon as your hand reaches up to hold his, he realizes that this is all wrong; the distance, the physical touch, everything about this doesn’t respect what you have with jaehyun.
“i’m sorry.” he rips his hands away. “i shouldn’t have done that.”
his apology brings another flood of tears from you. “i thought we were friends.”
“we are friends.”
“then, if we’re friends, why couldn’t you give me an answer back then?”
matthew’s heart stills. “w–what?”
“i remember everything.”
the axis of his world tilts. 
“from the bathroom to the closet,” you sniffle, “i remember what i said, and i meant everything.”
all he knew then meant nothing to the present.
matthew can’t tell if the alcohol was affecting his senses. maybe he’s hallucinating, or his intoxicated mind is planting delusions that he wishes were part of his reality.
but he blinks hard, and he still sees you.
“please say something.”
matthew takes one breath. “i just… i don’t understand. i mean, i’ve been going like, 5 months, thinking those were meaningless words. even in the closet, you said you were too drunk. and you always claimed you had no memory the next day. i even thought you were on a date with jaehyun the other day.” as you scrunch your eyebrows at his admission, he takes it as a sign to explain. “i don’t know. i saw you two alone a few weeks ago, and i just assumed so.”
“we were just hanging out. there’s nothing going on between us.”
he shakes his head. “well, how am i supposed to know that? when i’ve been going through these months thinking all you said was bullshit until now?”
when guilt flashes in your features, he takes a moment to let his words sink in.
he watches you fiddle with your fingers before saying, “i just want to know why you did all that.”
“is it enough to say that i was scared? i mean, i used the alcohol as liquid courage. but in both times, i couldn’t tell if you felt the same, so, i panicked and said i don’t remember anything.”
one thing that matthew knows about you is that you were afraid to take risks—no, not in decision making but in relationships. he knew that the first time you held yourself back from introducing yourself to jaehyun, and he remembers when you finally approached the boy with at least 5 shots into the night.
“can you say something? anything?” you ask.
and all times, he understood your hesitancy. every time you second guess yourself, he’s the only person who knows when to act as your safe space or a pushing force.
“tell me again. tell me what you told me in the closet, i need to hear it from you.” but when your mouth parts open, ready to repeat the three-word phrase, he cuts you off. “when we’re sober.”
this time, he wants to know if he’s a risk worth taking—without the alcohol.
“tell me when morning comes, then you’ll know.” he sees confusion flicker in your eyes. “because i can’t risk anything when we’ve drunk our hearts out tonight.”
if there’s another thing matthew knows about you, it’s that you hate unfinished conversations. yet, a nod from you is enough for him to know why it would have to wait until tomorrow.
from there, matthew stands up before taking his leave.
all he can hope is that you won’t forget the next day.
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when morning comes, matthew can hear a knocking on his door. he makes his way to the doorway, rubbing the exhaustion off his eyes, before swinging it open.
“i like you.”
his eyes snap open to see you, whose eyes aren’t like the other nights but with something he’s familiar with—hope.
“i like you,” you repeat, “and i’m telling it to you now, without the alcohol.”
this time, matthew doesn’t have to doubt your words. he doesn’t have to shut down his friends’ attempts to comfort him. he doesn’t have to deny what he feels towards you.
without saying anything, his hands dart towards your waist before pulling you close to him. shock casts onto your features. as one thumb finds its way under your shirt, etching constellations that you two will only know of, his other hand reaches to tuck your hair.
his lips meet yours. as his hand travels down to caress your face, your arms slowly find their place around his neck. somehow, everything feels right, almost like you two had done this before. yet, the taste of your lips is one he’s never had. as your nose brushes against his, he can’t help but breathe you in like you’re the last thing keeping him alive.
as you attempt to pull back, he tries to chase your lips. “matthew,” you call out his name before he draws you back in for another intoxicating kiss, one where the buzz of alcohol could never compare to.
“don’t,” he mumbles in between, “let me have this.” he pulls you into his dorm with ease and shuts the door behind you. matthew pushes you against the door with his lips still on yours, hands exploring your figure.
from there, you don’t protest.
maybe he’s wanted you much longer than you did. maybe he’s wanted you ever since you revealed your crush on jaehyun and he never allowed himself to dwell on his own feelings. maybe he’s wanted you since the first time he’s ever set eyes on you. 
but one thing he knows is that he wants you—much more than you do with him.
(and he’d never allow you to think he wants you any less.)
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