#i've spent more time in the depths than anywhere else because it's new! never been here before!

[vox-off]

i have settled on why it's been so difficult for me to focus on totk. i played botw for AGES. a solid year, the only game i played was botw. i only finished the game once or twice and the rest of the time farted around the map. i took my time and explored everything i could get to the first couple of playthroughs, i knew that map inside out, but y'know. started zoomin after a while, i'd seen everything already

because they used the same map, it feels like i've already finished totk

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2022-02-14

Foretelling incident at the astrology factory absolutely zero impact recorded.

Listening: "Break Your Cranck" an electric hurdy gurdy song by Guilhelm Desq that came up when I forgot to pause Spotify. Even my limited use of Spotify has left it with an extremely good model of what I like to listen to.

Watching: Watched "The Harder They Fall", that western from last year. Enjoyable! It consists almost entirely of setup and ironic punchline, so I was caught extremely off guard by an actual twist at the end. Oscillates weirdly between very old fashioned static shots that look very classic western and extremely modern handheld camera work.

Brightly coloured, ultraviolent, loud and hard, does action right. As I said, there's a lot of setup and punchline and it's very blunt, but it's funny as hell. The White Town of Mayville had me cackling.

Reading: Serina: A Natural History of the World of Birds, a speculative fiction work about what would happen if you had a planet populated almost entirely by the descendants of domesticated canaries. Presented as the product of a highly advanced civilization's long term study of evolution and specialization, it's extremely good. If you ever watched those old Nat Geo shows where they got biologists to come up with hypothetical alien lifeforms for an exoplanet, this is that but longer and more in depth.

Imagine, if you will, a hypothetical world much like our own, but populated only by a very small sampling of creatures, which were then allowed to evolve entirely on their own for hundreds of millions of years until their ancestors resembled them barely at all. Now imagine if those colonists were highly specialized creatures, animals which would never have the means to exploit as many varied niches anywhere else due to competition from other animals. Imagine an entire world where the only land animal present is a canary - a world without reptiles, amphibians, or mammals. This is Serina - the world of birds.

Serina is an ongoing, chronological world-building exercise and speculative evolution project that explores the natural history of a fictional terraformed moon, two thirds the size of Earth and orbiting a large gas giant in the habitable zone of an alternate solar system, populated by only a handful of organisms including grasses, sunflowers, ants, crickets, guppies, and - most notably of all - a single land vertebrate: the domestic canary. Our journey to this strange world will take us from the very beginning and then progress steadily along though the eons as the world's newly introduced life adapts to and evolves to suit its strange, new and ever-changing environment.

yeah

Playing: Bad week for video games, I kept meaning to port my Teardown saves from Windows to Linux because the Teardown devs didn't set up Cloud Saves, but I get distracted easily. The closest I got to a video game was writing some scripts to help me run Steam Proton without the help of the Steam client.

Setting up to join an asynchronous Fallout TTRPG thing, still doing character design, I am going to be a cowboy :)

Making: Rain has let up this week so I spent some more time in the garden doing macrophotography, and I had a good discussion with an ecologist who is in a Podcast Discord. Apparently it's acceptable twitter behaviour to tag highly talented conservationists in on "ID This Bug" posts? Inscrutable culture.

Ever since I annoyed my parents into planting more native plants there's been a much better array of insect life around. Our honeybees also hang out more now.

Computer Stuff: Pitch for search.marginalia.nu, which you've probably already heard about from The Post but I've been using it a lot. It favours text-heavy and old-fashioned sites, which tends to help it find things that are interesting rather than helpful. The Blogocentric Eigenvector search mode is super useful and tracks down blog posts quite well.

[af1899]

FEH - "The outside world...! So vast!" (+10 WIP Sophia mini-showcase and appreciation)

So, with the [Feh Pass] subscription, I've been auto battling as much as I could while doing whatever else and gather [Hero Feathers] to get all the [HM] I had yet to get, and it was absolutely worth it, although I've already spent like 300 out of my 900+ something [Stamina Bottles] in the [Forging Bonds] lmao, I have around 660 now.

But with the obtained [Hero Feathers] I merged up Tailtiu to +6 and...

Poggers

I'm happy to have finished merging Sophia at long last which makes of her my eleventh fully merged project soon after New Year Eir, her build is pretty much done but I'd be delighted to give her more premium stuff she can use in the future and make more builds, as well as giving her the remaining [Dragonflowers (I)] but I'm so close to fully boost Sonya and then I have to boost OG and Legendary Julia because of the post-[CYL 2021] update. 🥴

But her current build does wonders already, true, she's not impervious to nearly everything as it is, but I can give her some team support and the like, she's still great on her own.

Now, onto appreciation talk which includes describing her a little and explaining why I like her. I did this in one of my previous posts but it's time to review the info we have about her and expand on it. As always, feel free to read on (long read ahead)...

About Sophia

She's a half-dragon, half-human girl with the power of foresight, she's a priestess residing in Arcadia, a village that houses manaketes that survived one of the most vicious wars from past lore (The Scouring) located in the southwestern desertic region (Nabata) in Elibe, the continent on which the sixth and seventh Fire Emblem games take place in, she's a playable [Shaman] in the former and makes a minor appearance as a NPC near the end of the latter. Her class makes of her one of the two playable dark magic users in Fire Emblem: Sword of Seals (the other is the guy you're most likely to get while pulling on red stones in FEH, a.k.a. Raigh), and she gains access to basic staves after promoting to [Druid].

In her support convo with Niime, it's revealed that Sophia's father was human, meaning that her mother was a dragon, but neither's identity is ever known to the player. But despite this, she never transforms into a dragon, most likely because she never had her own stone to contain those powers. Being half-dragon also allows her to live much longer, but not as purebred manaketes/dragons.

She's fully self-aware of her heritage and doesn't let that bother her, she accepts both halves of herself which make of her a whole person.

She's somewhat important around the half of the game's duration as she helps a gravely injured Cecilia to at least tend to her wounds while waiting for Roy's army to rescue them as they were both thrown into a prison under Bern's control (the kingdom invading the other countries during the events of the game).

Sophia displays a shy and gentle personality, showing clear astonishmnet yet in a calm way when witnessing what the outside world is like and what it has to offer (beyond the village she's been living for around a century), this is most evidenced in her support dialogues with Igrene. She even feels similarly when wearing a new set of clothes, such as those of Embla in the World of Zenith, anytime after she joins the Order of Heroes.

«As long as I am with you... I can go anywhere...even a new country...»

― Sophia

She also mentions she was raised to avoid outsiders, and in the same aforementioned support convo, it's mentioned why.

«I understand what he's saying... The Dragons' powers could easily destroy entire countries. If the outsiders found out, they would surely fight over it. I've seen many conflicts like that in my life...»

― Igrene

And it's understandable why she feels that way after being raised by the elder of the village to do as told for decades. But in the end, she wants to work towards a world of peace where both dragons and humans live together without a war ever spreading out, and befriend other people, she's appreciative of other's kindness.

So... why do I like her?

Because she's purple-haired and most of her design has purple and I love purple soooooo much, that's all you need to know. :)

...Kidding kidding, that's not actually it, but it's in part true that I find her aesthetic pleasing, partially due to my passion for this color:

(Official artwork from FE6)

Her design is rather simple but so charming, clearly evidencing her shyness (see the way she holds her book and her facial expression), and feeling clean without going overboard on details.

Also, I find long, purple hair a rather rare yet dazzling sight, I always look at it in her artwork and remins me why I love her design.

True, her neck in Zaza's take on Sophia in Fire Emblem Heroes bothered me a little, mostly because her neck is a little long as seen above, but not as slim as long as Zaza has drawn her (it's still a decent artwork and the artist has made some really nice pieces later, look at Emmeryn), the style also felt a little off to me. But her Resplendent upgrade made Sophia look more cute and still being the one we know, doning a brand new attire.

(❶ Original by Zaza. | ❷ Resplendent by Miwabe Sakura)

But for me, it's pointless to be pretty if there's not a likeable personality behind the character in question, and Sophia has been proven to be really interesting, often a mysterious but shy girl, she's capable of kindness and finding comfort with outsiders like Kiran or Roy, when I see her, I always feel that she's so nice, never feeling bitterness towards any of her allies, just being shy due to how she's grown, but with a desire for friendship and peace pushing her forward, even slowly but surely, she's so lovely. 🥰

What's more, some of her quotes show she has a protective side, determined to stand up to help her allies but specially those she's close with, this eventually includes Kiran themselves.

Her voice in Fire Emblem Heroes is also really soothing, Wendee Lee has made such a delightful work giving new life to Sophia through her voice acting, there sure are differences between her work back in 2017 (Sophia is a launch unit, meaning she's been around ever since the game was live) and the work on the Resplendent in 2020, yet both are pretty consistent and equally pleasant to hear. But if I have to vouch for one or another, I give a point to the Resplendent voice acting, her voice can be heard with a little more depth and calmness to it than the original, which feels more natural.

And she's a dark magic practitioner but that doesn't make her evil at all, she's really pure actually. But I actually find dark magic most appealing out of any kind of weapon I have ever seen, the whole concept is cool, being always creepy and nefarious in nature, often portrayed in hues of black and dark purple.

And like, c'mon, this thing is amazing:

I wish that [Apocalypse] was her PRF weapon in Fire Emblem Heroes but neither Raigh nor Bramimond who's its OG owner got it and just got random PRFs instead.

Anyway, in short, I adore Sophia and it always makes me happy to turn a seemingly weak unit into a tough to crack cookie, love for favorites sure can take them far.

"And... as a unit?"

I've been trying her mainly against the foes she has advantage with, but I've been also trying her against red/blue units and sometimes she does a nice job holding them at bay, she has low speed even after all this investment but with buffing it's somewhat usable.

Yet I prefer to focus on her strengths, not weaknesses, and she stands as a fairly good magic tank, with the few extras she enjoys as a launch unit and full demote plus Resplendent skin since around the first weeks of the [Feh Pass].

I actually tried her here some time after posting this because I didn't notice the [Limited Hero Battle] for today requires you use FE6 units, so I went with my faves in the game and it was rather easy. 🙂 But it still took a little thinking.

"Who's the next +10 you have in mind?"

Hmm... actually gonna (at least try to) work on Lilina, another one of my Elibian favorites. I also have her Resplendent upgrade and could revamp her kit. 🤔

But she's currently +3 so her turn might take longer or someone's else may come before, Idk.

And then, hopefully someone I like out of the next potential Resplendent Heroes...!