#i've rambled for to long

[tboom10]

[aesethewitch]

When I was a kid, we moved into a house that had a huge lilac tree out front. It was mostly rotten, and it needed to be taken down before it fell. It took a while, but eventually, it was gone.

Mostly. A couple years later, little lilac babies popped out of the ground in its place. My mom was determined to get rid of them, because she'd planted a beautiful flower garden there, and the lilac trees would overshadow and kill the whole garden. I insisted on saving at least a few saplings. She said fine, but I had to dig them out and put them in pots myself.

So, I did. I spent days digging little lilac bushes out of the ground and putting them into pots. Some couldn't be saved, but some could. When all was said and done, I had five brand-new lilac saplings. Seven or eight years old, and it was my absolute pride and joy.

Three died due to sun scorching, severe drought that no amount of watering could save, and perhaps just being moved from their place in the ground. But two survived, and I was awfully proud of them! I'd go out and talk to them every single day. I watered them by hand and made sure they were fertilized properly. I learned all about their favored environments, and I was determined to make sure they lived.

One of my mom's friends saw what I was doing with the lilacs. She asked if she could have one to put in her backyard, and I agreed on the condition that she take very, very good care of it.

It's now fucking enormous. I'm talking ten feet tall and bursting with beautiful purple flowers every spring. My mom still gets updates each year as they start to bloom, which she forwards to me. And all I can think is, "That's my friend! Thriving some twenty years on, there it is."

The other tree nearly died, too. It lived in a pot for far, far too long. I wanted to plant it somewhere in my parents' yard, but my mom was reluctant. Eventually, we agreed to put it in the far back garden. It grew okay for many years, despite the shade, but in all these years, it's never bloomed.

Last year, the massive tree casting massive shadows over the lilac and the garden cracked in half and fell. It tumbled into the garden, crushing part of the nearby shed and destroying a few plants beneath it.

It missed my lilac by inches.

The clean-up is long done. The rest of the tree has been cut down, and my lilac has full sunlight for the first time in fifteen years. It won't bloom this year, I know. But it's got new shoots up. It's taller than ever. I spent half an hour a few weeks ago praising it for surviving all this time, dreaming about its future and telling it how I believe it'll become the tall beauty it's always been meant to be.

I think next year, I'll see flowers.

[cavalierclavier]

When I broke the cycle, I made sure that the tear was rough. You carry a part of what should be her, and she carries a part of what should be you.

[dumplingsjinson]

List of “sweet and intimate actions which make me go feral and have me folding like a folding chair” prompts 

Character B carding their fingers through Character A’s hair and playing with the strands.

Character B peeling back the neck of Character A’s turtle neck sweater to trail gentle kisses down their neck. (This!! It is so hot, and it's everything I didn't know I needed until now, and I cannot stop thinking about it wlkfnlkwe)

Character B placing their arm around Character A’s waist while in public, resting their chin on Character A’s shoulder. “Hello,” they say in a teasing tone as Character A tries to grab ahold of their hand to keep it there but fails a few times before successfully doing so. 

Leaning against each other while in public.

Spooning and back hugs.

Character B letting Character A rest their head on their chest; lets them listen to their heart beat. 

Character B whispering sweet nothings into Character A’s ear.

Character B checking in on Character A to make sure they’re comfortable and okay with the way things are going; to make sure they’re not being too much. “You’re not,” Character A would reassure, repositioning themselves to get closer to Character B.

Just cuddles and snuggles in general.

Neck kisses.

Kisses littered all over the face. (!!! It's one thing to read about it and one thing to experience it wlejbfewljn)

Character B tucking Character A’s head under their chin while they’re cuddling.

Character B nuzzling their neck and breathing in Character A’s scent/fragrance, and commenting on how nice they smell.

Character B making sure Character A gets home safe by driving them home.

Character A telling Character B to message them when they get back home safe, and once Character B gets home, they follow through by sending a message to let Character A know they’ve gotten back home safe.

Taking naps together, from day till night, waking up every now and then to get more snuggles in. 

That soft exhalation of adoring laughter leaving Character B’s mouth after kissing Character A (this shit had me folding so fucking hard it’s not even funny. I Am Weak). 

That soft exhalation of laughter once again just because Character B is so content with having Character A in their presence, and Character A just basking in how cute that sound is and how happy it makes them. 

Character B entangling their legs with Character A’s, pressing their bodies flush against each other’s, leaving little to no space between them. (It’s almost like they can’t get enough of Character A.) 

Kissing so many times, to the point where they lose track of how many times they’ve kissed already. 

Holding hands and lacing their fingers together while they’re cuddling.

Comparing hand sizes and giggling about it together.

Character B stroking Character A’s hair while they’re asleep. (Or uh, pretends to be asleep DJSKKSKDSK but it’s so FUCKING CUTE WHEN HE DID THAT IM GONNA SCREAM, me thinking moments like these only happen in Korean dramas or some shit anfkakfksk-)

The sweet little banters in between; Character B being all cheesy and Character A playfully deflecting their comments only for Character B to playfully push back with an “Is something wrong with that?” or “But I’m not lying.”

Falling asleep in each other’s arms, both not wanting to leave the bed for the entire day and wanting to stay comfortably snuggled up against each other instead.

Character B placing their hands on Character A’s shoulders, and Character A, with a grin on their face, gently grabs Character B’s hands and wraps their arms around their neck while leaning back into them. Character B reciprocates by hugging them closer to them.

The soft noises of content Character A makes when they snuggle closer to Character B, or when they want Character B to hold them closer to them, with Character B happily obliging. 

Character B rubbing their cheek against Character A’s.

Character B trying to not wake Character A up because they look so comfortable when sleeping. (His words, not mine.) 

Soft, repeated pecks on the lips, causing Character A to laugh/smile against Character B’s lips. 

[secretarysong]

BEEP BEEP!!!! Mayday delivery!! 🧨🧨🔥🔥

not exactly sure what date but somewhere within This Week! marks my first 1 year of being an actual NSR fan (and my subsequent upwards spiral since then) so to celebrate i am throwing a BIG PARTY in FESTIVAL PLAZA and ALL OF YOU ARE INVITED!!!!🤑🤑🤑🤑 Just kidding. there is no party. BUT! below the Keep Reading i will share some of my earliest (and somewhat crude) drawings of mayday (and a bit of zuke). it feels like it's been ages since then...

transitional phase....... these range from like november 2023 to march 2024 i believe? in no particular order

fun fact about me; i used to be a Strictly total drama fanartist and i preferred to draw pretty on-model to the very heavily stylized characters in the show. it was kind of difficult going from... that (Hardly ever venturing out of my comfort zone) to the oh-so-scary and intimidating world of No Straight Roads. in order to make art i'd be happy with, i'd have to inevitably get used to THREE-DIMENSIONAL SPAACE and... *gulp...* Dy.. Dy... DYNAMIC ANGLES!!!!!!!

love is one hell of a motivator however. and i love this schtewpid game and i love its world and characters and most of all i love MAYDAY!!! and here i am Today! obviously i still have a long looonngg way to go and much to learn but i've still come pretty far. and i'm pretty proud of myself! 🐊🐊🐊

[duckprintspress]

Urgent: Help Us Not Get Screwed

Anyone who follows us has seen us screaming from the hill-tops about our current crowdfunding campaign for Aether Beyond the Binary (17 aetherpunk stories! Outside the gender binary main characters!). We've only got 50 hours left...and we just got screwed.

Our Anthology Kickstarter is being scammed.

About two hours ago, with us still roughly $1,500 from our goal, we got a junk pledge for almost $2,000. This pushed us into being marked as "funded" but there is zero chance it's a real pledge, it's from a shell account marked as being in Turkey. This kind of money doesn't just fall like a miracle into the laps of small business like ours.

The timing on this attack is devastating. The final 48 hours of a campaign are absolutely critical, especially for one as close to meeting our goal as we are. We were very likely to hit our target, but doing so was going to require appeals to y'all that started with "hey, we're so close, please help spread the word." Further, the campaign has hundreds of followers who will get a notification at the 48 hour mark, and many who might have backed to help get us to the finish line will now think "oh, they're there, they don't need me," and not back. Meanwhile, one of two things will happen with the spam pledge: either it will get removed by Kickstarter, which could take hours or a day+, totally nuking us during this crucial window, or it won't get removed until the payment bounces post-campaign, at which point we won't actually have enough money to do fulfillment.

Either way, we are fucked.

Please, please don't let these dipshits ruin the love and passion that 30+ people have poured into this project for over a year.

Our campaign IS NOT FUNDED, and it won't be without help. I'm begging, help spread the word about how we're getting screwed, and help spread the word about Aether Beyond the Binary (visit the link for so much info!) so that we can get enough real pledges to fund this project we've poured our hearts and souls into.

SUPPORT THE QUEER ANTHOLOGY KICKSTARTER FOR AETHER BEYOND THE BINARY (with your pledges or with signal boosts!)

[queerofthedagger]

the thing i feel people don't really take enough into account when it comes to arthur's supposed obliviousness regarding merlin's magic is that merlin is the absolute opposite of what arthur has been raised to believe sorcerers to be. merlin is clumsy and kind and - in the earlier seasons - like walking sunshine. he so obviously has negative desire for actual power, nor any respect for it, and while arthur absolutely knows that merlin isn't stupid, he 100% is an idiot.

and it's not stupid or ignorant on his part! people just do this, whenever they are taught someone who does or believes a certain thing is inherently evil! it's never the friendly guy next door who snacks half of your breakfast and then just grins when you complain, obviously not! arthur trusts merlin even early on, and beyond belief later on. of course merlin can basically do magic in front of him, because there is no part of arthur that actually thinks someone like merlin could have magic. you don't see what you're 100% convinced can't be there. if he ever got there, his already brittle construct of indoctrination and supposed repeated confirmation of said construct would crumble immediately! as it does in dotd after like, a day. it only doesn't in regards to morgana because as far as arthur is concerned, the moment she started using magic she became the cold and ruthless enemy he still couldn't bring himself to actually pursue! like.

it's very easy to think it's startingly oblivious, but one thing i really wish people would keep in mind a little more is that the viewer watches from a different point of view, and operates with a whole other set of information. that arthur operates under a certain worldview in an environment that does not teach to question it at all, and gives little opportunity to do so. it's actually wild arthur questions uther's teachings as often as he does, and considering that every time he does, they, to his knowledge, just get confirmed again (nimueh, morgause, morgana, uther's death, and so on and so forth), it's even wilder that he keeps doing it

[the-one-who-lambs]

"hi welcome to mcrakshasas, what can I get for you?"

"yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?"

"absolutely, do you want a meal or just the sandwich?"

"uuuuh hold on"

*fishes the red crown from my head*

"one who waits what do i do?"

*puts the crown back on my head*

"uhh yes please the meal would be great"

[bloodborne-on-pc]

I've been trying to think of the best way to articulate this for a long time, but I think something that maybe influences many outdoor cat owners to be adamantly against the idea of the idea of their pet being an invasive species, is the way we talk and think about invasive species.

If you see any post on social media talking about an invasive species, people in the comments tend to talk about "destroying" them with a sort of gleeful malice. Essentially, invasives are acceptable targets for cruelty. They are considered "evil", making it okay to hate them and inflict violence upon them, and to revel in that violence.

So, if a person has this viewpoint, consciously or not, and sees someone claim their beloved pet is invasive, they will probably balk at the idea and reject it. Their cat isn't evil! That's absurd! How could you say that?

And that is completely true. The domestic cat isn't evil. Neither is the spotted lanternfly, common buckthorn, or any other invasive species. They are harmful to the environments they are introduced into, but they don't cause that harm because they are malevolent. They're doing the exact same things they would be in their original environment. Those things are just bad for their non-native one. In some situations, removing invasive species may involve killing the organism, but we shouldn't relish in the suffering this will cause them.

Obviously, there are lot of factors influencing why people refuse to keep their cats inside. But I can't help but wonder if this kind of attitude might exacerbate it - and if changing the way we talk about invasive species might help a little. Even if not, we should do it anyway - all living things deserve respect.

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

[rynli]

Thinking about how one of the two voices in Harry's deepest core is feminine.... Thinking about how the Skills are fragments of Harry's psyche, and he's convinced himself he's a manly-man at the moment, but clearly the Furies themselves don't all have to be male... thinking about half the Skills immediately switching to she/her the second Harry comes across the concept of gender as a construct. Wait, we can CHOOSE? Friendship ended with "this guy." "this gal" is my new gender.

[stressfulsloth]

I've seen a couple of takes about Disco Elysium being copaganda going around recently, and beyond the fact that DE is relentlessly critical of the police force in general and makes explicit reference to the failures of the system that allow the officers in game to abuse their power, I also think it's important to note that there very literally is an in-world version of copaganda that the writers of the game use to parody that romanticised view of the brutality of policing. The RCM at their inception were structurally inspired by in-world copaganda- their culture, their "fashions, even weapon preferences, borrow heavily from classic Vespertine cop shows." Every investigation is it's own little drama, every officer imagining themselves to be the bad-ass hero of their own crime serial. Detectives name their cases like they're naming episodes of a TV series in a "robust but literary system"; a title that "draws inspiration from snoop fiction and Vespertine cop show staples". They give themselves nicknames to sound like cool, suave fictional officers- Ace, Dick Mullen, etc.- from the cool, suave world of copaganda.

The legend of the RCM's inception, the "point of contention" over its uncertain origins, is even an extention of that; the whole organisation is shrouded in this self-fictionalising mythos that allows for distance that in turn obfuscates much of its violence to the officers that participate in it. They get to convince themselves that they're not abusing their power; they're the hero of the story! The dichotomy of "good guy" taking out the "baddies," a manifestation of the libertarian fantasy of the "good guy with a gun" who does what it takes, just like in Annette's detective novels, and at the same time who rails against oversight bodies like Internal Affairs/'the rat squad' because due process slows down the immediate satisfaction of Swift Justice, despite Internal Affairs existing to protect the citizens from overreach on behalf of the police. "Wanton brutality" from police in their real world is a cold bitter reality but Dick Mullen was "made to crack skulls," "bend the rules and solve cases no one else can," and which version of that story is more comforting to the overworked, underfunded officers of the RCM?

The level of fantasy and detachment required for the cops to still see themselves as the good guys after everything that they do in the line of duty mimics The Pigs and her breakdown too; she parallels Harry so clearly. Both "did right by the kids" in the past, hoping for a better future- Marianne (The Pigs) by looking out for Titus and the Hardy boys when they were young, Harry in his role as a gym teacher. Both abandoned and left behind by the system that the RCM uphold- a brutal capitalist landscape with no safety nets. Both turning the source of their trauma into a costume, a performance, a shield, shaped by "radio waves and cop shows." The Pigs uses RCM items scavenged from the Esperance where they'd been thrown away, while Harry uses the Dick Mullen hat that Annette gives him but both are essentially in costume.

Harry identifies himself with the fictional detective as a kind of wish fulfilment; Dick Mullen is "wicked smart." He doesn't fuck up his cases and when he's sad it's not pathetic; it's effortlessly cool brooding and everyone sympathises. Everyone loves him. His violence- "skull crack[ing]"- is justified because he's a "good guy" enacting that violence against the victims of police brutality sorry "bad guys". He doesn't ever face repercussions; "Dick Mullen won't be sent to the clink for the sake of some legal niceties!" So if Harry is Dick Mullen then his failures, his breakdown, they're all just a part of being a "bad-ass, on-the-edge disco cop." He's not wrong, he's a hero! This idealised fictionalised idea of the police force, this "new, sadly better, reality" that both Harry and The Pigs cling to is "escapist stuff," "receed[ing] into a ludicrous fantasy world," so far removed from the brutal material reality that they're in.

My point is, idk. Disco Elysium is so far from being copaganda. It is a multi-million word long dissection of it, of the purpose of policing, of state sanctioned violence and its interaction with capital and the fallout experienced within the wider community as well as the trauma cycle created for individual officers. A dissection of how copaganda interacts with RCM culture and perception, and by extension how we interact with irl perceptions of police through that lens.

[lazylittledragon]

Please ignore if this is too personal but IIRC you were/are dealing with caffeine addiction? I hope you're doing Ok, as a former addict I know how hard it is so wishing you the best xx

thank you for checking in!!

i'm doing very well!! i haven't cut out coffee completely bc i really don't think i can (it's been one of my daily pleasures for SO long), but right now i only have 1-2 espresso shots and i don't even have it every day anymore

also remembering that i used to have 4-6 shots per drink, sometimes multiple times a day, makes me want to throw up now which is probably a good sign ajkdhdsh

[etirabys]

Getting a lot of "good times weak men, weak men create hard times" vibes from gleeful reactions to the assassination attempt.

If you've never lived in a society where political assassination was a normalized phenomenon within living memory, consider that this might be worse than you think it is. There is a not that distant section of Korean history that's quite tedious to try to pass an exam for because the killings just blend together. It wasn't a nice time.

It's plausible to me that another Trump presidency would be worse (for the well being of all US residents over the next 100 years) than setting an assassination precedent. Like... asspull number, 25% possible that another Trump presidency is worse? But I don't want to hear that argument from someone with no real familiarity with "killings just blend together" societies, and won't engage with how terrible and scary taking a step down that road is.

If you are a staunch Democrat, consider also that you do not want to support such a precedent when your political opponents are the gun havers and gun practicers. 48% of Republicans own a gun; 20% of Democrats do.

Trump broke so many norms that I definitely see the argument for why he's exceptional – but in order for a Trump assassination to be a one-off, it's not enough that you think he's an obvious exception. Everyone else has to think he's an exception.

It's difficult to let the genie out of the bottle a little bit.

[peaches2217]

Have you ever thought about how Mario probably grew up in a loving but financially unstable home, and how he and Luigi likely struggled to eek out a decent life for themselves prior to whatever strange magic brought them to the Mushroom Kingdom? Have you thought about the months where they had to decide which they wanted more: food, or a roof over their heads?

And then have you stopped to think about Peach, a literal monarch with an endless supply of wealth, suddenly giving them a cottage big enough to house a whole family and free access to her castle and inviting them to share meals with her, for no other reason than 1.) she's quite fond of them and 2.) she just can? How she probably views these gestures as meager, the absolute least she can do for her friends, and how she likely has no idea that she's casually giving them a sense of security and belonging they've never had before? How much peace she brings into Mario's life, never having to wonder where his next paycheck or his next meal is coming from, seeing his beloved brother finally having the means to pursue his own hobbies and pastimes, and not even realizing it? Have you ever thought about that?

And have you ever thought about how lonely Peach's life must have been? Even if there were other children her age to play with (never mind that none of them were human like her), she couldn't have played anyway, because every aspect of her upbringing was tailored around making her an effective politician? And how even in adulthood, there's very few people who seek her company just for the sake of it; how she goes into most interactions knowing that she's wanted for her beauty, her power, her influence, and nothing else?

And then have you stopped to think about Mario, a guy with plenty of friends and lots of better things to do, just... seeking her out for no other reason than to talk? How he could have so much more from Peach if only he asked, she would happily gift him any treasure that money could buy, but for some reason she can't decipher, all he wants is her friendship? How he doesn't view her as untouchable or some great means to an end, nor does he just turn a blind eye to their differing social statuses; he acknowledges her position and her power yet expects nothing of her in spite of it, and is happiest simply when he can sit and chat with her about nothing for hours on end? Have you ever thought about that?

Because I think about that, like. A lot.

[lunabug2004]

Ya'll probably know this by now given how much I post about it but one of my favorite pastimes is watching people react to Stranger Things. I bring this up this time because I've noticed a pattern.

People root for Mileven in seasons 1 and 2 with no problem (with the exception of a couple of reactors who took forever to pick up on it in s1 or just didn't like the idea of rooting for such young kids to be kissing). Esp s2 because everyone wants them to reunite and then said reunion is absolutely adorable.

However, by about halfway through ep1 of s3, everyone just seems to be so bored of them. Like nobody I've watched has ever really expressed the want for them to get back together when they break up. I realize this is probably partially because of the annoying nature of their relationship and the way their whole breakup is played off like a big joke, but that's actually precisely what I'm getting at. Why would the writers choose to make it so easy to stop rooting for the "main couple" of the show??? Just so they could have a comeback arc or seven? If Mileven is endgame, this will probably be one of my biggest hangups, esp given the way Mike was the brunt of the "joke".

One of the main reasons I always go back to Byler endgame despite all of my doubt is because of how the writers treat Mileven's relationship. It's pretty toxic and so it's easy to stop rooting for them or just the repetitive-ness of their story as a couple makes them boring. They wouldn't make the "main couple" the most annoying couple in the show if they were actually going to be endgame.