#i've put a lot of effort into exploring new things in the last couple of years

[midnightthighs]

Sometimes you just have to listen to the old favorites.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

In my spare time, when I'm not watching dramas I'm either reading books or watching people talking about books on YouTube. One tradition I've always really enjoyed is their "Mid-Year Freak Out" tag, especially because I like the idea of getting a chance to reflect on the year so far as well as look to the year ahead.

This year I thought I'd combine my two passions and use (and in some cases alter) the prompts for my own use, i.e. so that I can talk about dramas rather than books.

The only rule: answer the questions (and go wild I guess).

And we start the list with the biggest risk! No The Trainee is nowhere near finished and, no I have no idea how it's going to finish (it's GMMTV it could drop the ball through the floor and into the earth's core for all I know) but, if it manages to keep going the way it's going, I'm going to absolutely love it. I've mentioned before that The Trainee reminds me a lot of Misaeng, what I haven't said is that Misaeng is my (tied) favourite drama of all time and if The Trainee can get anywhere close to making me feel like I did the first time I watched Misaeng (which it is so far) then it's on to a winning formula.

So far it's got everything I look for in a drama: a solid cast with excellent chemistry, a plot that focuses on the little battles of everyday life, and an excellent mix of fast friendship and slow burn romance with plenty of character development along the way. It also doesn't hurt that it's got the balance between slapstick-funny and emotional tension pretty much bang on either.

I can't get this drama or it's characters out of my head and I am deeply, deeply, invested in where things are going next so, as a nod to the hold it has on me and my hope that I've found a new all-time fave, The Trainee is my favourite drama so far so GMMTV DO NOT LET ME DOWN.

Thai BL opening themes can be very hit or miss for me (I won't lie, I have skipped many an opening sequence because I can't stand the song) but Wandee Goodday's "Fan With Benefit" caught my ear the first time I heard it and refused to leave me alone after that. I think I listened to it on repeat for at least 2 weeks and then at least once a day after that.

It's fun, it's flirty, it's got a chorus I like to dance to and it has now found itself on my "Songs to Cook Dinner To" playlist (I don't know if that says more about the song or how I cook dinner).

Now if only the drama lived up to its theme song...

Last Twilight would have been on this list had I not dropped it in December and, as a result, rendered it ineligible for a 2024 drama. I'm still absolutely fuming about how badly it let its audience down and how terribly it handled an extremely nuisanced topic to the point its final messaging was almost harmful.

I'm not going to get into this in too much detail because my frustrations have been voiced much more eloquently by people @lurkingshan and @twig-tea. I will say, however, that I loved the first 6(?) episodes of Wandee Goodday and I'm really sad about how much I didn't enjoy the rest of the drama.

There were a lot of things to like (and a lot of potential) right from the start: two couples with great chemistry, an ace character with actual depth and dimension, really sweet relationships (both familial and friendships), and the foundations for some interesting explorations of various interpersonal dynamics. Unfortunately none of these things really got followed through on and instead Wandee decided to go dark (with topics like mental health, sexual assault, loss and grief, parental neglect and abandonment to name a few) and do it badly. I don't mind if a show wants to explore difficult topics, in fact I really appreciate it, but what I won't tolerate is a drama introducing those topics as central plot points and then skimming over them in the most superficial way possible.

If you can't be bothered to put in the effort to properly research/explore difficult topics, do not include them in your drama.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SHOW SINCE IT FIRST GOT ANNOUNCED. Which unfortunate because I was so excited for it I got stressed about it living up to my expectations (or not) and then couldn't watch it when it came out. It's annoying, it happens, I know how to fix it.

Anyway, I've given it some space, I've dealt with the other things that were making me stressed and I am now ready to devour it give it a go.

I have long been a fan of Ahn Pan Seok's works and I really appreciate his directorial style, the themes he chooses to tackle, and the way in which he explores his topics of choice. I will fully acknowledge his work is not for everyone; he favours slow (extremely slow) stories with characters and plots who are realistic to a frustrating (and sometimes infuriating) degree. You also need to have a pretty in depth understanding of Korean society and its problems, taboos and concerns to fully understand the underlying messages of his dramas and the structures/beliefs/views he's critiquing. That being said, for me that is the perfect recipe for a drama that's going to claw itself into my brain and stay there.

Secret Love Affair, One Spring Night, and Something in the Rain all had a lasting impact on me and, thanks to @lurkingshan's posts, I'm pretty sure Midnight Romance in Hagwon will join them.

It may come as a surprise after the last entry but I actually try quite hard to not get hyped about upcoming releases, mainly to avoid creating any expectations which can then be disappointed. I like to go in with as open a mind as possible.

As a result, there are a few upcoming releases I'm keeping an eye on but none I'd say I'm properly "anticipating" (á la Midnight Romance in Hagwon). The closest I can get is Monster Next Door which I am genuinely excited for and which I plan to watch from day 1.

I'm not completely sure why I'm looking forward to it so much, I think it's because I do love a good opposites attract, foes-to-hoes dynamic and Monster Next Door seems like it's going to offer that to me in spades alongside a serving of comedy and a sprinkling of heat. Bring the introvert-extrovert pairing and let me watch them be stupidly whipped for each other, it's all I need for now.

Technically all of the dramas on my Want to Watch list because I want to clear it but I'm aware that that's a bit of a reach.... If anyone can spot any dramas on here that you think I should prioritize (or dramas you think I should scrap), recommendations would be appreciated.

I also want to watch more Japanese BLs. The few I've got through, I've enjoyed and, for a lot of them, I've already read and loved the source manga so I know I'll enjoy the plot. Unfortunately I really struggle with the short episodes (30 minutes is not long enough for me to get invested) and that I have to commit to binging them and can't watch them while they're airing, which is a whole other issue. I'm thinking of focussing on Japanese GL for now as a hook (I'm not enjoying the current Thai GL line up and I'm running out of Korean GL I can find online) so I guess the dramas I "need" to watch are She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat and Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko.

* Biggest surprise

* Newest favourite actor/director/writer/producer

* Most beautiful drama

* Newest fictional crush

* Newest favourite character

* A drama that made you cry

* A drama that made you happy

And there you have it! Lightly tagging @lurkingshan @twig-tea and @italianpersonwithashippersheart but no pressure! Anyone else who wants to do this, feel free! Just tag me so I can gather more recs to make my To Watch list even longer.

[olderthannetfic]

"Friendships are a lot more like romance than people admit" anon here. So I gave zero detail whatsoever, and it's been kind of interesting to see what people came up with in response. That said, I actually meant it a lot more in terms of specifics and mechanics?

Friendships have an "infatuation" phase where getting to know the person and spending time with them is effortless and fun and you feel like you'll never get bored of each other. Friendships often involve an expectation of emotional connection and telling each other things, making the other a part of your life to some extent. It's possible to have feelings of jealousy for a friend, especially if you suddenly become a lot less important to them in favor of a new person in their life (which in an exclusive romantic relationship might be considered a kind of "emotional cheating"). It's possible for a friendship to fail or peter out for the exact same reasons where, if it were a romantic couple getting couples therapy, their therapist would tell them "You need to reconnect by doing things together again, you need to make an effort and work at restoring your connection". Which sometimes romantic couples do, and then they stay together, but in friendships it seems to be kinda seen as normal and not imbued with the same sense of almost-tragedy? Even though it's a very comparable time and energy commitment essentially going down the drain. Finally, it's quite possible to be heartbroken that a friendship ended, and a toxic friendship can be every bit as damaging as a toxic romance. To put it in a phrase, you could take any number of posts asking for relationship advice where, if you removed monikers like "friend" or "SO/gf/bf", it would be very difficult to tell if the relationship is romantic or not.

"Romantic relationships are like friendships" is equally controversial in the sense that a lot of people don't really seem to know what to do when the infatuation wears off, partly because media and culture seem deeply uninterested in exploring this stage of romantic relationships? Or they interpret the inevitable fade of hormone-fueled excitement as falling out of love, break off the relationship, and rinse and repeat this a few times before they wisen up and learn to form long-lasting friendships with the people they fall in love with.

To wit, close friendships and romance both involve love and attachment and (some amount of) commitment. And yet we barely ever seem to talk about friendships using the language of love, even though love is unquestionably what's going on there. (Again, I'm talking about close, long-lasting friendships.)

..Or maybe my experiences are not universal and I'm just a weirdo who gets overly attached. Idk.

--

I refer to "friend breakups" and "friend dumping" all the time.

I think if you put it in those terms, most people agree: they've had some devastating end to a friendship that hurt them more than half their romantic breakups. It's just not how movies tend to describe it... at least not in words. Buddy movies are all about the idea that a friend breakup is the literal worst thing in the universe though.

I guess I roll my eyes a tad because I've witnessed decades of finger-wagging books about how we don't care enough about friendships and those are what really predict adult mental health in the long term, blah blah blah. Things like friend crushes (that honeymoon period) and devastating friend breakups are well known to psychologists and self help book writers.

Anyway, you aren't weird, and people who want to keep their long-term friends need to make time for some friend dates if they want to keep the magic going.

[studentessa-socit]

🍂my goals for this semester🍁

university 📑📚✒️

study consistently

I am a bit of a crammer, I've never built healthy habits of studying day by day and always focused most of the effort in the last weeks before an exam. Since I noticed how draining and counterproductive this is, and since I have more material than ever to study this semester, I need to learn to be more consistent before the exam season and to make studying an integral part of my daily life all year long. (This will require a lot of romanticization).

not skip lectures

I've always been good at this, and only missed a few lectures (we are talking 10 at most) at the end of the second semester last year. But life made me regret a lot those few lectures I missed. So I made a point to never miss one this year, unless I am sick. It is simply too important both to understand the material and to enjoy the university experience overall.

learn to study by myself

This is the hardest. I've always relied a lot on body doubling to do anything difficult, having someone watching me study or studying with me is the best way I know to stay focused and motivated. But when it's the exam season and I need to study a lot, and I am in my hometown where I have limited access to libraries, this means studying with my boyfriend all the time. We love studying together, but this summer we noticed that it drains the relationship to spend most of the time together studying, and I need to learn to focus alone in my bedroom in these months when I can afford it, so I will be able to do it when I'll be in my hometown.

phisical activity 🧘‍♀️🏞️

For the first time ever I'm interested in excercizing more and moving my body to relieve stress and feel more present. I plan to try to stretch on a semi-daily basis and to:

join a yoga/pilates class

My university offers very cheap classes for a plethora of disciplines, I'm interest in joining either a power yoga or a pilates class once a week, I will as soon as I'll get my student gym card (it's a pain in the ass I hate the uni's sport centre's office).

learn cuban salsa

Me and my boyfriend are starting a cuban salsa class in my hometown which we will attend when I'll go home on the weekends. It will probably be a private class since we are the only couple who wanted to join and it'll start next week. I'm so exited, neither of us ever danced a caraibic dance and the teacher will be the same woman who taught my parents when they met.

go hiking

In the past couple years I've been hiking maybe twice a year and I learned I really enjoy it, both because I love being in the nature and enjoying the view and because the kind of struggle it's needed helps a lot my self esteem and self discipline in the weeks after the hike. I plan on hiking at least once a month from now on and on going skiing when the weather will be colder (this is not a new thing since I learned to ski when I was 5 but it's still a goal to do it more often).

generic 🎧🌾📚

be more organized

I am a messy girl, always been. I'm always running late, rarely looking put together and my space is mostly a disaster. I'm getting better and better everyday, but I still have a lot of work to do. I'm trying to be more intentional by getting ready early so I can be on time (for lectures, friend dates and catching the train), I'm meal planning more often and meal prepping when I know I won't have a lot of time to cook me lunch, I'm planning my outfits in advance and writing very detailed to do lists to make the best of my time.

explore the city

Last year I didn't explored Trento a lot, I spent most of my time in the comfort zone of the known places close to my apartment and university. It's understandable, but it's such a waste to be living in the city center of a "new" city and never explore it the way I could. It's difficult to do it while studying and taking care of myself, expecially considering that most weekends I go back in my hometown, so I will try to plan a few hours of free time once a week I will spend by going only in unknown places here in the city.

I also feel the need to spend more time in the nature both when I am in Trento and when I am in my hometown, and I probably need to plan it too.

hobbies and interests

I have a duolingo spanish class that's (angrily and aggressively) waiting for me to come back.

I have tons of fiction and non-fiction books waiting to be read.

I have a colouring book that hasn't been touched for a while.

And shows and movies that have been in my Netflix list for months while I keep rewatching Gilmore Girls over and over.

To read, to start back duolingo, to colour and to escape my comfort zone with movies and shows are not difficult things to do, I've been doing these things for years, but in the past few months I've been kind of absorbed by short form content and social media in general, I need to be more intentional in how I spend my free time. I know I can do it, I've done it before, it's just a matter of chosing to do it.

[royaletiquette]

Name: Rose

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred comms: Whatever, I've never had issues with IM's personally, so I like them. But I know no one else does lol. Discord is cool, especially when we start sending memes and shit to one another.

Name of muse(s): Hibiya and Hibiko. I've had one other muse that didn't last long, I just wanted an excuse to talk about my views and opinions on music lmao. An outlet to express that to a degree, but I just didn't have anything else I wanted to say, no overarching theme or anything.

Experience in RP: Started out the classic way of rp'ing via texts with a friend, where it was like [ "Stop doing that" *laughs* ] as Izaya from Durarara. Not terribly long after I moved to tumblr cause I was already always on it on my personal account and heavy in the durarara community in 2012, 2013, cause I wanted to write as Hibiya. And that was a blast because it started showing on Adult Swim so the anime got more popular and there were just a lot of people and alters to write with.

Stopped and started a few times, but I always wrote Hibiya publically and no one else. I think I barely wrote in 2016 cause the rp side of the fandom was DEAD and I didn't really venture out to find new partners. I had also moved countries so like, wasn't thinking about writing often. Completely stopped thinking about it in 2017 and was writing songs instead. Until after I graduated college and was working fulltime, and after all the lockdowns stopped (Toronto had multiple), I needed a new creative outlet I could work on while not home and kept thinking about Hibiya and Delic and having ideas I wanted to explore. And was very lucky to find my email and password! So now I'm like, I can't imagine leaving tumblr to write somewhere else. Privately I dunno, it's so boring.

Best experiences: It's so nice to have partners that equally gush over one another's muses and relationships, sharing ideas and potential threads and even just being like "lmao if this happened, it'd be over" / "I can't stop thinking about x."

Plus I mean to be honest, it's so, so exciting and nice to hear people excited to write with me and ask about my muses, having genuine curiosity. Asking questions I've never thought of and pushing them to be more developed and fleshed out. I love posting a reply or answering a meme and immediately getting pinged on discord of someone panicking and talking to me about it.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: Too much ooc is the main reason I end up unfollowing people. Which like, listen, it's not like I outright say, I don't care about you. But if it's too much, even though I like you and your muses and want to write, I'm gonna mute your tag. I'd much rather someone repeatedly be like "I'll be on twitter if you care" or whatever passive-aggressive thing, than have a bunch of posts on my roleplay account that are nothing. Let me ignore it if I want to.

I've complained to the point of adding it to my rules, but I hate mains. And I honestly more and more feel like I'm making the right call in that it's very mean and you shouldn't do it. I understand feeling more drawn to some muns/muses than others, but when a mun is repeatedly answering someone's stuff immediately when you've been waiting for a reply for a month. Yeah, it's a little dog shit. There needs to be an effort to balance it out between partners.

A COUPLE ACTUAL PETTY PET PEEVES. That like, I've rewritten this a bunch of times cause I don't want to be dumb and rude even though it makes me want to be very that. I hate when muns make their muses short and are just weird about it. Like, it's obviously written from the perspective of a person that is average height, who sometimes feels short, so assumes someone shorter than them always feels short. And it's like no one thinks about their height that much, stop it. But this is absolutely me, a person who is the height of all those short muses, being like bruh stop being weird. I also hate when there is an unrealistic weight put to muses. Because it's something most people ignore, so just skip it if you're gonna be dumb about it. If you feel the need to be like, my 5'6" muse 90 pounds, think about how dysfunctional that makes a person. It's beyond the realm of "my muse is skinny." But!! Again! I know this is just me being like "your fictional character is unrealistic." People like to make their muses taller than Shaq and as buff of as wrestler, but also be like "it's natural, they would never track their calories/protein intake."

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): Of course it depends. Hibiya is fun because he's awful at being fluffy, so it's great putting him in those positions where I am also so horribly uncomfortable for him. He's always angsty. It gets a little tiring. Smut is all me though, I just get lost in thinking of the details and then I forget to write any of it and it takes forever. Practice though and I know it'll be more fun. There are at least muses now that Hibi wants to be gross with finally.

Hibiko however, is like, always bordering on fluffy, to the point that she really fights angst. Which in itself is fun because that's where most of her development comes from. Surprisingly, smut will be/is really fun for Hibiko because her walls are down, which isn't the case any other time. She also doesn't have as many preconceptions as Hibiya when it comes to sex, so it's more freeing and open for me to write.

Plot or memes: Memes are more freeing. They can be long winded ideas or just a paragraph, so that's fun. But when it comes to the long run, I need to talk about plots to some extent so we're not running aimlessly.

Long or short replies: Long. Mid, really, but I'd rather it be longer than shorter. I've learned I have a hard time tapping into what my muse is going through if I'm not seeing that in return. But short ones are a very welcomed break when they come along. It's nice to easily poop out a reply without being like oh fuck okay what happens first.

Best time to write: When I'm alone in the morning before anyone wakes up (which isn't the morning but pretend it is). I like sitting in silence and enjoying the nothing going on so I can focus. I like to watch movies by myself, and it'll take twice as long because I'll pause it to write while inspired, and watch another five minutes before pausing to write again. The way god intended, really.

Are you like your muse(s): Kinda. I relate to Hibiya more. I'm more aloof than I think I am and can be a little insensitive towards other people's feelings and my words. Emotions are not my strong suit lmao.

tagged by @sansloii

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

ask thing 👀👀👀 how aboutttt 3, 5, 22?

HI HELLO <3 thanks for sending !!!!!! we are in very different fandoms now, but i followed bc i used to be a crazy malora stan and your fics were like Formative for me lol, i respect you a lot as a writer. i've read some of your non-malora stuff, even though i'm not really that involved in other fandoms you wrote for, and i thought they were amazing tbh, i just enjoy your writing a lot! it's like a fun mix between a really elevated writing style you'd find in like real literary classics haha and some very like Modern Choices, which absolutely Sends Me, i love it. at least that's how i view your style, i might be wrong about this haha ! (also -- new disaster???? had me wheezing and wailing, also some wentworth fics you wrote were like chef's kiss. i also loved the orpheus/eurydice thing !!!!!! -- i don't have to mention all your malora stuff has me in a chokehold lol and will continue to have me in a chokehold for as long as i live)

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

it has to be either my ruin tastes so sweet or when the last restraint is gone -- i think both of those really pushed me out of my comfort zone! in when the last restraint is gone i tried my best to like stick to what is true to the period in terms of how the characters act, what they know about the world, how they might perceive a lesbian relationship, also i really pushed myself and experimented with the smutty scenes! i also tried to incorporate a couple of poems (goblin market by christina rossetti in particular) in the actual smut + the entire work as like an overarching theme of sorts. it's by no means perfect, and i still have a chapter or two to go to conclude the entire thing, but it's MY schmeksy victorian fantasy. may or may not be heavily inspired by tipping the velvet by sarah waters which i was Obsessed with when i was 14 it was very formative lol. so this fic will always have a special place in my heart! it's my lil indulgent thing that i put a lot of effort into!

the other thing i kinda have to mention is my ruin tastes so sweet -- it's a lil lucifer one shot (gwendoline christie's lucifer has me on my fucking knees aksdjfhgfgkds like if you didn't watch the sandman and don't intend to, just like watch her scenes, it's VERY well spent 15 mins of your life i guarantee it dsajfhfda). i am rather proud of that one, and i think it could be read as a standalone thing even if you know nothing about the sandman! i am also planning a new chapter for that one (or maybe a couple stay tuned to see heheheheheh), i wanna explore what it means to fall as an angel a bit more!

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

ooooof, that's a hard one. i am sorta in the mindset of i'll at least *try it*, even if i don't think i'll do a great job of it or if i think it might be a silly idea no one would be interested in! so there isn't a lot that i'd think of and then Not Write, i'd at least give it a shot! i am writing a REALLY weird jan stevens fic, idk how it will land, but i am honestly having so much fun!

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

usually no! i have like a couple of Directions i am considering going in, i am not like totally Clueless ahahah, but i let the story sorta guide me as i write it! i only have a sort of a set ending in mind for my ruin tastes so sweet right now (and i also usually have set endings for one shots -- for longer things i just sorta let the fates decide ahahha).

thanks for sending me the askssssss <33333

[spacecadetspe]

Jan. 10, 2024

Happy New Year. And boy, what a new year it is.

I've recently acquired an apprentice, and she is quite a lot like I was when I started. Eager to learn, overly excited, and eager to be friends with every entity that crosses her path. I'll call her Metis, since that was one of her first lives.

So we divined her true name, got her in touch with her guides, and let her spend a night in the Forge. A series of fairly safe bets for a budding practitioner. She asks questions about everything, sometimes so quickly she doesn't hear the answers. There are days when I have to repeat stories, or reasons for what I do, just because she's excited and talkative.

I'm not terribly mad about the arrangement.

We spent the last couple of days exploring the Dream World and meeting a few of the Oneiroi, where she got advice from Phobetor and Zoe about what to do next.

Yesterday was her first real battle. She was excited when an entity appeared in her room, half woman, half spider. She thought it was Arachne. It definitely was not. It was an entity known as a Jorogumo, a predatory entity that lures people in with her voice. With my instruction, my apprentice killed the spider spirit and rescued another from her webbing.

We left the gory battleground for a long soak in a hot tub in Artists' Alley, and then I showed my apprentice her spiritual path and all the connections she had. Many of them were dead weight, or the ones she was connected to weren't putting any effort into maintaining the connection. So we started culling. And the darkness started flowing out.

One of the shadows was more insistent than the others. He was flirtatious and flattering, very handsome, prepared to give gifts and compliments at every turn. It took me nearly a full day to figure out who he was supposed to be. But much of what he gave... was themed. Pearls. Seashells. Dresses made from scales. Okeanos. He insisted on engaging the two of us, and was being persistent in pushing my boundaries. I told him off and managed to set an appointment for the morning, and then attempted to settle in for the night.

I had a discussion with Morpheus about a few dream techniques and taboos, and as my energy waned I found myself slipping into a depressive episode. I remembered a botched dream from last year; of holding my son in my arms as he died. I remembered all the things leading up to that dream. The death of my grandmother, the sale of my father's ancient lands, the brutal curse on the elder oneiroi, the loss of connection to Cure... the emotional lashing I'd gotten from one of my closest advisors...

All culminating in that terrible dream. I had sat on the edge of a building in someone's mindscape and dared to wonder for just a moment if gravity still worked.

Morpheus sat with me, and saw me spiraling, and started calling out to anyone who would come.

"I love you." I threw the words out like a lifeline. Like a flare gun. Please somebody catch hold. Please, somebody pull me out of the dark. And the rope pulled taut. From all around me there came soft, solemn whispers in reply.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

And before I knew it, I had fallen into a deep, comfortable sleep.

I processed for most of the night. And then, in the morning, Metis' dream entity waltzed in like he owned the place and began showering us with gifts, affection, and promises of eternity.

It put me off. He wanted to follow us around. Prove himself to her and to me. He wanted to be part of my court. Wanted to give us a tour of his palace. Told Metis it was home, if she wanted it. Gave her a mound of Chthonic money he'd somehow negotiated with Hades. Probably against Hades' better judgment.

Overwhelmed and feeling like he was going to use her up again, Metis started crying. I told her to go back to my chambers and curl up in front of the fire while I had a conversation with Okeanos.

"What have you done?"

"Me? Okeanos, you're love-bombing her. This is a girl who has gotten so used to being used for sex that she knows a pattern of red flags when she sees it!"

He pauses. "Is that why you were wary about accepting gifts?"

"Absolutely. I don't know you. I don't trust you. Giving me things doesn't mean you won't hurt me or her the first chance things go awry."

He looks away.

"Look, I know I'm coming off as a hardass."

"Yes you are."

"But." I held up a finger in his face. "I'm not here to make her decisions for her. I'm here to be her voice of reason. If she decides not to trust you, that will be entirely her choice."

"Somehow I doubt you won't be influencing her."

"After all this time? It doesn't take much! She's been pushed around by two kings, shitty generals, her mother, and several lovers besides you." She reaches to me and says he's still trying to contact her, coax her, coerce her. I cut him off. "And if you don't get the fuck out of her head, I will remove your soul from your body."

"You can't do that."

"Do you really want to find out?" He is quiet, startled. "I destroyed Olympus. I killed Ananke. I have slain much bigger prey than you, and I will do it again."

Okeanos watched me carefully, noticing the glimmer of rage in my eyes. Then he looked at the floor.

"If I can't make you understand the importance of you earning her trust, and not just giving her stuff and coercing her into bed, then I'm not sure you deserve to be in her life."

He looks up at me. "And your court?"

"Forget my court. The only reason you want to be in my court is because your daughter is my apprentice. That doesn't benefit me or what I do. When you find me a compelling reason why I should reconsider, then I will. Until then, you need to think about this a little more carefully and quit acting like a desperate teenage boy."

"... I could curse you both..."

"Then you do that. Use the threat of violence to get what you want. Doesn't that sound like someone we know? Zeus? Hera? Ye gods, are you really so different from any of them?"

"I am different."

"Then prove it, Okeanos. Just because you've been around longer doesn't make you any more or less like the very entities you despise." I took off the necklace and the dress and dropped them at his feet. "Grow up, Okeanos. If I hear from you again, I'll burn you to ashes."

He continued threatening and berating Metis telepathically until she severed her link with him. The exertion of all that power caused her nose to bleed.

I called over a few dreamlings to help calm her down, and we sat in front of the fireplace eating loukomades and vegging out until we got another visitor. This time it was from the opposite end of the spectrum.

Aether. He was eager. Excited. Talking very fast, and yet being very straightforward and, for lack of a better word, cute. Absolutely golden retriever energy. And despite his high energy levels, my headache, and Metis' nosebleed, I was starting to like him. An astral guide through and through. He got both of us and Metis' friendly house spirit to sign a contract, and off he went to "make the world a better place."

We might very well have our work cut out for us.

[tremendousdefendorsweets]

What the Oxford English Dictionary Doesn't Tell You About replica bags designer

The reproduction bag fad is very little new.​ I try to remember After i was a younger teenager eager to search her finest, I assumed possessing a replica bag was the last word fashion assertion.​ I bought my really initial designer duplicate bag from a local retailer.​ It was a traditional Gucci tote that I thought was so chic and sophisticated.​ I remember clutching tightly into the handles and strutting down the street.​ I felt like the belle on the ball!

I've considering the fact that realized the notion of owning a reproduction bag is a bit controversial.​ All things considered, the initial designer usually puts their blood, sweat and tears into each individual layout, and knocks-off companies just take the credit as their unique.​ While I bought my replica bag many years back, I nevertheless replicate fondly on every one of the amazing moments I had with that bag.​

Simultaneously, I know how important it truly is to protect the effort and dedication of designers, so for that purpose I do not buy duplicate baggage any more.​ Even now, It is really tricky to disregard the price tag of the primary style and design, and many times its just further than our financial achieve.​

Due to this, I feel replica bags have their position in The style sector.​ It's real that there are negatives to possessing a replica like inadequate high quality and material, however, if worn respectfully they are often add-ons that assist us build special and fantastic appears to be like.​ In addition, I believe It is really probable to locate a middle floor - a single could however take pleasure in the initial models devoid of acquiring knock-offs.​

Although I do not personally individual replica luggage any more, I am aware Many of us who do, and to use an idiom, ‘all of it depends upon the person’.​ For a few, the only real difference between an reliable and replica bag is the cost tag.​ They don't care about recognition or quality, They simply want to save a couple of bucks what ever way they are able to.​

I can absolutely empathize with this particular standpoint.​ All things considered, I have been there myself, planning to truly feel gorgeous and trendy in my replica Gucci bag.​ But I also comprehend the crucial part of the designer and the value of shielding their rights as well as their effort.​

I keep in mind The very first time I noticed a pretend bag.​ I was shopping in my neighborhood mall and stumbled throughout this beautiful designer handbag.​ I was so mesmerised by its natural beauty which i promptly assumed it was genuine.​ Tiny did I understand that it was truly a counterfeit! I can still remember the intensity of your disappointment when I found the truth.​

To start with, I believed to myself, how can anyone get away with making copies of genuine designer bags? Then I realised which the demand from customers for designer products has developed exponentially, and counterfeiters are Benefiting from this.​ Phony luggage are just about everywhere now, and it's definitely sad to think about.​

I am certain Many people have bought a bogus designer bag without realising it.​ After all, the counterfeiters have their Qualified touch.​ It's challenging to tell the difference between a true as well as a pretend bag.​ Even knowledgeable consumers is usually fooled.​

Nonetheless, There are several notify-tale indications like the value tag, and the standard of the leather-based applied, that can help determine a bogus.​ In case you are afraid of staying duped, do your exploration and Make certain that the bag you might be buying is the true offer.​

I feel guilty being aware of that there is an marketplace that normally takes benefit of individuals.​ But the reality is, lots of consumers have their own good reasons for getting phony luggage.​ Some folks won't be able to pay for originals, while others are searhing for an excellent offer.​

Adequate folks have been ripped off and duped by buying phony baggage.​ It's best to avoid counterfeits completely.​ Legitimate, They could glimpse seemingly genuine and experience high-class, but which is only about to final for so long.​ Reduced-top quality resources and lousy craftsmanship suggest your phony bag will never stand the examination of time.​

What is actually worse is, purchasing a faux bag does not only advantage the seller but supports a much larger, legal underworld.​ Apart from that, providing phony products can end you up in jail if you get caught, so It is really always finest to remain clear of fakes.​

So, when you are at any time pondering purchasing a designer bag, I'd urge you to order only from authorised dealers.​ That way, you could ensure It is really authentic and Safe and sound.​ In addition, with all the money you help save from buying fakes, you'll have adequate to order an excellent initial.​ So It really is always ideal being cautious in creating purchases.​

I suppose I’m fake bags online trapped in the middle, acquiring found each side of the coin.​ I may not carry a designer tote anymore, but I'm able to recognize the value, craft and high-quality that went into it.​ And when I do see an individual carrying a gorgeous original piece, I'm able to’t enable but admire the effort and creativeness at the rear of it.​

So, On the subject of replica baggage, what really defines them? Is it the craftsmanship, the originality, or the bit of intellect that goes as well as it? Or could it be only about the cost tag?

In the end, I feel replica luggage needs to be regarded as vogue statements that needs to be highly regarded and appreciated, much like the initial items.​ After all, they assist us spend less devoid of compromising our type in any way, and for that they need to be considered a valuable addition to any one’s assortment of baggage.​

Getting a deeper think about the matter of duplicate baggage, there’s way more to them than just knock-offs of originals.​ Some knock-off brand names have become very creative, working difficult to create handbags with extraordinary craftsmanship and cocktails of components that would not Ordinarily be found on a conventional designer piece.​ They attract inspiration from the original and think of styles that are extremely trendy - showcasing their own exclusive magnificence instead of just copying a style from in other places.​

Increasingly more, the fashion industry is observing a growth of replicated patterns attaining traction, as An increasing number of shoppers glimpse to include a novel contact to their wardrobe without breaking the bank.​ Of course, the knock-off market carries its share of small high quality luggage, but even duplicate bags arrive in various grades now.​

It is true that designer originals will constantly keep on being originals, but the marketplace for knock-offs has grown appreciably over time, providing The patron bit of head though however having the ability to Specific their own individual model at a portion of the fee.​ Personally, I do think there’s a certain attract the knock-off sector that could’t be denied.​ Everybody would like to shave a couple of hundred of the fee of purchasing a designer bag, so it’s safe to express that reproduction bags are going to be all over for really some time.​

As well as, There are many of various thoughts around the make a difference.​ Lots of people may argue that buying knock-offs supports the unethical tactics of lower price shops, while others may well propose that it encourages creative imagination and helps to carry up the standard of manner parts.​ Some could possibly be totally indifferent to the make a difference, but No matter, it’s a thing really worth speaking about and mulling more than.​

At the end of the day, Every person has their own personal viewpoint on duplicate luggage, and I’m no exception.​ About I’d want to stay clear of the knock-off marketplace, I’ll acknowledge that there are occasions when I come across myself waving for just a taxi with a replica bag by my side.​ Without a doubt it’s a private selection that every of us need to make for ourselves, And that i’m positive it’s a topic that may keep on to get the supply of numerous debates.​

[chocolatewinnerenemy]

What the Heck Is fake bags online?

The replica bag fad is nothing at all new.​ I don't forget After i was a youthful teenager wishing to search her best, I assumed possessing a replica bag was the last word vogue statement.​ I bought my incredibly very first designer duplicate bag from a neighborhood retail outlet.​ It had been a typical Gucci tote that I assumed was so chic and complicated.​ I try to remember clutching tightly for the handles and strutting down the street.​ I felt such as the belle on the ball!

I've because understood the notion of proudly owning a duplicate bag is a tad controversial.​ In fact, the initial designer typically puts their blood, sweat and tears into just about every design, and knocks-off providers simply take the credit history as their own.​ Regardless that I bought my reproduction bag many years in the past, I nevertheless reflect fondly on each of the amazing moments I had with that bag.​

At the same time, I know how vital it truly is to guard the effort and perseverance of designers, so for that motive I don't buy replica luggage any more.​ Nevertheless, It is really tricky to disregard the cost tag of the primary structure, and persistently its just beyond our monetary achieve.​

For this reason, I feel replica baggage have their location in the fashion market.​ It can be accurate that there are downsides to proudly owning a replica like lousy high quality and material, but when worn respectfully they are often extras that help us produce special and amazing appears to be like.​ Also, I believe It can be probable to find a middle floor - a single could nevertheless recognize the first types without having acquiring knock-offs.​

Whilst I do not personally have replica baggage any more, replica bags designer I do know Many individuals who do, and to use an idiom, ‘everything is dependent upon the person’.​ For a few, the sole difference between an reliable and replica bag is the cost tag.​ They do not treatment about recognition or excellent, They only want to save lots of a couple of bucks whichever way they will.​

I'm able to fully empathize using this point of view.​ All things considered, I've been there myself, wanting to come to feel wonderful and stylish in my replica Gucci bag.​ But I also realize the essential position of a designer and the necessity of shielding their rights as well as their hard work.​

I keep in mind the first time I saw a faux bag.​ I used to be procuring in my neighborhood shopping mall and stumbled across this beautiful designer handbag.​ I was so mesmerised by its beauty that I promptly assumed it absolutely was legitimate.​ Minimal did I know that it was truly a counterfeit! I can continue to recall the intensity on the disappointment After i identified the truth.​

In the beginning, I assumed to myself, how can someone get absent with building copies of reliable designer baggage? Then I realised that the desire for designer goods has grown exponentially, and counterfeiters are Making the most of this.​ Faux bags are just about everywhere now, and It can be definitely sad to think about.​

I am absolutely sure many of us have bought a faux designer bag without realising it.​ In any case, the counterfeiters have their professional touch.​ It can be demanding to tell the distinction between an actual and a bogus bag.​ Even skilled shoppers could be fooled.​

Then again, There are several inform-tale indications like the price tag, and the standard of the leather-based employed, that will help detect a bogus.​ For anyone who is afraid of becoming duped, do your exploration and Guantee that the bag you happen to be buying is the actual deal.​

I sense responsible figuring out that there's an sector that usually takes benefit of persons.​ But the truth is, a good deal of consumers have their very own motives for purchasing phony luggage.​ Some folks cannot afford originals, while others are looking for a superb offer.​

Enough folks have been cheated and duped by getting pretend bags.​ It is best to steer clear of counterfeits altogether.​ Correct, They could glance seemingly genuine and sense high-class, but which is only likely to past for therefore extended.​ Reduced-high quality supplies and poor craftsmanship necessarily mean your fake bag will never stand the take a look at of time.​

What is actually even worse is, buying a fake bag would not only gain the vendor but supports a much bigger, legal underworld.​ Aside from that, providing faux items can stop you up in jail if you obtain caught, so It is really generally finest to stay clear of fakes.​

So, if you are at any time thinking about investing in a designer bag, I would urge you to get only from authorised sellers.​ Like that, you could be certain It can be real and Harmless.​ Plus, with all the money you help you save from getting fakes, you will have ample to buy a top quality unique.​ So It can be normally best being cautious in building purchases.​

I suppose I’m stuck in the middle, getting found both sides of the coin.​ I may well not carry a designer tote any more, but I can recognize the worth, craft and quality that went into it.​ And After i do see someone carrying a gorgeous first piece, I am able to’t help but admire the effort and creative imagination powering it.​

So, With regards to replica luggage, what definitely defines them? Can it be the craftsmanship, the originality, or the bit of mind that goes in addition to it? Or is it simply about the worth tag?

In the long run, I think duplicate bags must be considered style statements that ought to be revered and appreciated, much like the primary items.​ In any case, they assist us cut costs with no compromising our type in almost any way, and for that they should be viewed as a worthwhile addition to any one’s collection of bags.​

Taking a deeper look at the subject of reproduction luggage, there’s considerably more to them than just knock-offs of originals.​ Some knock-off makes have become very Artistic, Performing tough to make handbags with impressive craftsmanship and cocktails of elements that wouldn't Ordinarily be observed on a traditional designer piece.​ They attract inspiration from the initial and come up with patterns which have been hugely trendy - showcasing their very own special magnificence in lieu of just copying a style from somewhere else.​

More and more, the fashion current market is observing a advancement of replicated models attaining traction, as A lot more customers appear to include a novel contact to their wardrobe devoid of breaking the lender.​ Yes, the knock-off marketplace carries its share of low top quality luggage, but even duplicate luggage come in numerous grades now.​

It can be accurate that designer originals will always remain originals, but the market for knock-offs has developed considerably over time, offering The buyer piece of thoughts while nonetheless being able to Categorical their own personal design and style at a fraction of the associated fee.​ Personally, I believe there’s a particular appeal to the knock-off marketplace that can’t be denied.​ All people would like to shave a handful of hundred of the associated fee of purchasing a designer bag, so it’s Risk-free to state that replica baggage will be all over for really a while.​

Additionally, there are a lot of various viewpoints to the issue.​ Lots of people could possibly argue that purchasing knock-offs supports the unethical techniques of low cost suppliers, while some could advise that it encourages creativeness and really helps to carry up the typical of manner items.​ Some could possibly be wholly indifferent for the subject, but No matter, it’s a little something worthy of discussing and mulling about.​

At the conclusion of the working day, Every person has their unique feeling on duplicate baggage, And that i’m no exception.​ About I’d love to steer clear of the knock-off market, I’ll acknowledge that there are times Once i find myself waving for the taxi by using a duplicate bag by my facet.​ Little doubt it’s a private selection that every of us really have to make for ourselves, and I’m certain it’s a topic that should continue on to become the resource of numerous debates.​

[the-daily-scrommit]

January 23, 2023

Jan 23, 2023 - Thirteenth entry

Hey tumblr, it's been a minute.

Things have gotten a bit stagnant over the last week. Emotionally and mentally, not much has changed. I miss my ex-partner here and there but am generally moved on and content. This mysterious, unexplainable feeling of hope tied to them is still going strong, no matter how intensely I fight it with my current emotions and facts and logic. That hope still makes me feel like ripping my hair out if I think about it too much.

I'm talking to a lot of people from the dating app I'm on, and have met up with a couple of them. The first one was a painfully awkward hookup, while the second was pleasant and innocent, but still a bit awkward. I've been spending a lot of time this last week with friends, old and new, catching up, being productive, getting myself out and away, and generally taking care of myself and these relationships I have that are important to me.

My ex texted me a couple nights ago saying they've, "been missing [me] greatly lately!" I'm not sure how to feel about that text, even now, days after, having already responded ("Glad you're doing well dude"). A handful of my friends and myself think that they aren't as moved on as they previously expressed they were. One friend who is a mutual of my ex and I was with them at a last-minute hangout the night they texted me. During my conversation with this friend, they told me that my ex seemed more down throughout the night, less energetic. This friend also told me that the time my ex texted me would have been around the time everyone started to head home.

This feels like so much evidence that my ex isn't as moved on as they say they are. I'm not saying this because I don't want them to be moved on (though I admittedly don't want them to be completely, especially not this soon as it hasn't even been a month yet), but rather because it really doesn't seem like they are. The wording of the text being more intimate and up for interpretation, their general text tone in the brief conversation that followed being generally less casual than some conversations with them have been with me and other friends, them supposedly being visibly dejected the night they texted me, seeing them regularly be one of the first viewers of my social media stories, and a few other things that don't come to mind as clearly right now. Yes, I definitely could be looking into all of this too much, but I also spent the last year and a half very emotionally close to this person. I arguably was the person they were emotionally the closest to during that time, if ever.

At the end of the day, I don't know. They aren't being as transparent as they could be, and while I care a good bit, I don't care enough to ask for their intentions behind their wording or what they're really feeling. I'm at a point where yes, I miss them, and yes, I'd love for everything to work out romantically between us down the line after months or years of space and time apart, but I'm having fun right now. I'm flirting and dating (if you could even call it that) around and exploring new people and places and personalities that I haven't experienced in my life before, and all of this has been scary and awkward and intimidating, but it's also been so. Damn. Fun.

I'm taking care of myself and I don't need a partner right now, and I especially don't need them to be my partner right now.

I do love them, to the ends of the earth and from the bottom of my heart. But they are the person who ended things, not me. If they truly aren't over me, and potentially want something with me again, they're the one who has to put in the majority of the effort. Even if all they want is to not be strangers, that's something in their hands now. I didn't want any of this to end, so they get to prove to me that they want it to continue if that does end up being what they want.

Only time will tell. For now, I am content with the progress I'm making back in therapy and away from them. I'll continue to update this journal periodically, and maybe I'll start doing this daily again soon just to talk about more happenings in my life. I hope to see you all again in the near future.

Until then, goodnight, and take care; I am sending you love <3

[svartalfhild]

#2 of the prompts!

While they all rest up at an inn, Laudna walks by Ashton’s room as they are taking off their shirt after they just finished a [silly/could have avoided this-but some snobby idiot just HAD to provoke Chetney] battle and is curious about the gold-filled cracks along his body. She asks him his permission to touch them , and after a moment, Ashton carefully says okay.

Could be GraveStone, could be just a gruff, tough, and buff friend letting their sweet and spooky friend gently touch their scars out of concern + curiosity, could be both.

2. "Are you okay?"

It took some effort from Imogen and Orym, but at last, the bar fight was brought to an end. The place was a mess, and the staff looked rather put out by the whole thing, but thankfully Bells Hells' good standing with the owner prevented them from being thrown out along with the provokers. This was lucky, considering Chetney's refusal to give up his stream of colourful threats until the idiot who had provoked him was out of the building.

Ashton, who had received quite a beating in the midst of all this, grumbled about getting cleaned up and went up to their room. FCG went around checking if anyone needed help and healed a nasty bruise on Fearne's arm. Imogen and Orym dutifully helped clean up and prodded Chetney into properly apologizing to the owner for the big ruckus. Laudna was mostly alright and mended a couple chairs before heading up to her room, having had enough shenanigans for one night.

On her way down the hall, her eye caught movement in the gap of a slightly open door, and she stopped. She could see Ashton gritting his teeth as he unbuckled and pulled off his leather jacket, fully revealing the sprawling tapestry of golden scars across his muscular green torso. He was...captivating to look at, and she caught herself staring, but now was not the time for that. He was clearly in pain.

"Ashton? Are you okay?" she called out cautiously, slowly pushing the door further open. He looked over to her, seemingly unbothered by her presence, and held her gaze for a moment before answering.

"Define okay." Laudna came further into the room at this, rubbing her hands together in nervous awkwardness.

"You got kinda fucked up downstairs. Do you need FCG?"

"Nah, they've done plenty for me already. I'll be fine," Ashton answered with a shrug. A lot of the blood on them seemed to either not be theirs or was not coming from an open wound at this point, so Laudna was convinced, but she continued to stare. "Is there something else you wanted?"

"Sorry, I was just...your scars. They're very pretty."

"Oh." Clearly they hadn't expected that, as they raised their eyebrows and then furrowed them. "Thank you...I guess."

"Would it be alright if I...?" Laudna trailed off as she took a few steps closer and extended a hand to demonstrate her intent. There was another pause as Ashton considered this request, and eventually he gave his answer in a surprisingly soft tone.

"Yeah, go ahead." They stood still for her as she approached and began to carefully trace her spindly fingers over the golden pathways across their skin. They had a unique feeling to them, indented in some places and raised in others, but always very smooth.

"Do they ever hurt?" Laudna asked. She knew it had been several years since Ashton had acquired these scars, so they might feel like nothing, but she knew all too well the potential lasting effect of scars.

"Always."

"Always?" She withdrew her hand, wide-eyed at this news.

"You don't have to stop," Ashton assured her, gently taking her hand and returning it to his chest. She gave a small gasp and he smiled. "The cold is a little soothing actually." Well, that was certainly the most unexpected thing he'd said thus far, but she heeded him and cautiously continued to explore his scars, taking in their sad beauty.

"I'm sorry if I've ever hurt you with my tactile habits." She internally cringed at the memories of throwing her arms around Ashton and of smushing the side of her head against theirs.

"I don't mind if it's you. I like you."

"Oh." Laudna let out a relieved little laugh, which Ashton seemed to find endearing.

"And I get it. You want to feel something." She had never considered this before, but now that they said it, she knew they were right. She craved sensation, because she felt so little these days. That was the terrible irony of her curious nature. She was so eager to know, but had a muted ability to experience.

"Yes." She met Ashton's gaze, and he put his hand over hers once more, holding it against him. He was so pleasantly warm that she found herself wishing he'd pull her into his arms and envelope her.

"Then you can understand why I'd be willing to endure a lot more to feel something other than pain." He moved her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her palm, not breaking eye contact with her for even a second, and a shiver shot down her spine.

"Yes. I think...maybe we can help each other," she quietly, stepping closer, so that they were only a few inches apart now. He slid his arm around her, bringing her the rest of the way, and she settled into him, resting her head against his chest. After a moment, she placed a light kiss on one of his scars. "I'm sorry for your pain all the same," she murmured, and he held her tighter.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

So I don't know if there is a correct way to use the public library but this is how I do.

Show up.

This was gonna be a bulletin list but that was too good to pass up. But yeah. Show up. Regularly. Irregularly. Intermittently. Occasionally. Doesn't matter. I'm there once every other month or so and I use the book drop on the days they're closed because I can never remember the schedule which is easily findable just about everywhere one would think to look.

Prowl through whatever attractions stand the have set up. Sometimes its staff picks or banned books or seasonal themes. Whatever. Today I found a trans teen survival guide displayed front and center next to the preparation of field game manuals. Made my queer heart happy in this very conservative town. The librarians put thought into these and its nice to acknowledge the effort.

My library has a new books section just past that where they shelve the new releases. Its fun to browse through there but unless something really piques the interests or I'm looking for specifics i usually don't linger because I'm on to the

Non Fiction

But I wanna read fun stories, you say and I say to you there is wild shit hitherto undreamt of in the non fiction section. No really. Today I leafed through a wild mushroom hunting guide and saw the tidiest unintentional horror story I've ever seen. I did not check it out because eating weird unidentified things found in the woods is how one gets very dead in suspicious circumstances. But it was super interesting. Also found an entire section on the science of comedy. As in, the art of a good joke, stand up routine, slapstick stunts, funny movies, the psychology of the whole industry. A section. Multiple shelves.

Audiobooks exist.

They feel like sandpaper on my brain but are good for some people so you do you. Just don't make me listen. For both our sakes. There's a whole wing of the building dedicated to them. Have fun. Without me. Over there.

There's also a huge graphic novel section which I personally have not managed to explore yet. But I will at some point get around to it.

And on to the fiction section

I know the librarians have had a LOT of down time recently because the books are organized by authors last name and then some gracious soul went through and COLOR CODED BY GENRE! Thus far there are 4, mystery, fantasy, action and romance. Its the most wonderful thing I have ever encountered in a public library.

Usually I end up leaving with a couple of mystery novels or fantasy, the fun stuff, one classic that I've heard referenced but haven't read, its my vegetable book one thats good for the brain or at least the ego, and one book that has a cool cover, personally I'm partial to the old school canvas covers with no dust jackets.

If I can't read that many books before I have to return them, oh well, I can check them out again. If its a miserable slog, I don't need to finish them, the librarians don't know or care that you couldn't finish. If anything you've learned the valuable lesson that that particular author does not appeal to you, and you don't need to finish his book to know that Jack Kerouac was one of Those Guys(tm). Also if you check out a book, read it, don't read it, don't finish it, whatever, as long as you check it out, its a book in circulation and that's the only thing the library tracks. The more use they get, the more funding they get, so don't worry about an incomplete reading list.

DID I MENTION IT'S FREE?

All of it is free! No charge! This includes the bathrooms, the computer use, the sound booth, the meeting rooms, the auditorium, the wifi, the children's activities, the reference desk, senior computer help classes, the tax prep help, and the interlibrary loans if your library doesn't have something that another library does. All of it. You can get a library card for free.

I also picked up a voter information pamphlet on my way out and I'll be voting for whomever values and funds the library.

[kitausuret]

23, 25, and 34 From the 35 Questions list!

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

I absolutely thrive on prompts and challenges. A lot of times I have a bunch of random ideas bouncing around in my head, but it's really hard for me to get motivated to complete them. Having a prompt, even if I am doing the loosest interpretation in the WORLD of that prompt, gives me an excuse to actually Write the Damn Thing. Prompt challenges are my favorite. That's why I've injected @symbruary directly into my veins the last three years!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Absolutely. I have tons of these kinds of ideas, but at least regarding Dust to Dust (and to a lesser but probably more relevant extent, "We've Got Us" [the fic with Jubulile and Toxin post-Carnage) I would love to write a bunch of spin-offs. And by spin-offs I mean f/f stuff. Originally for DTD I was thinking Liz/Felicia, but the more I think about it the more I want to somehow make Liz/Betty a thing, especially since they will both be so recurrent in the fic.

I also want to explore some stuff with Manny/Vicky, if only because there's Literally Nothing for either of them. I haven't decided if I want Manuela Calderon to stick around New York or if I'm going to ship her back to Virginia, but I'd like to think that she and Vicky get a stable if occasionally long-distance-ish relationship. Victoria Montesi is also a very cool character of her own right, and I think maybe some follow-up for their lives is deserved. It would be way more loosely tangential to the actual events of DTD, though, if only because you can only make a "shut up, Brock" joke so many times before it wears thin. (I'm kidding, it's always funny.)

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

HEHE I get to do this again. Since I just talked about "(Whatever Happens) We've Got Us" let me give a little bit of a part I really enjoyed writing and meant a lot to me:

His smile faded. "Jubulile, I'm trying my best, but I don't mind telling you I'm a long ways from okay." He crossed his arms and stared out at the ocean. "Toxin and I… we weren't a good match. There's only one symbiote that ever was and we ended badly. But it takes work to be symbiotic. That's something I wish I'd realized sooner. You get out of it what you put into it." "In the end, though, you were heroes, right?" "I wasn't the one who pushed Chthon back into hell." "You helped protect me, and everyone." She nudged him back. "My father was my hero, and I think he would've thought the same of you." "All I did was hand Toxin over to you." Still, Eddie's smile looked a little emotional. "But, yeah, I guess we were heroes."

It's very subtle because I really wanted this fic to be about Jubulile and not Eddie Brock, because I've written enough of that, but I think internally Eddie would cry a little over the comparison. Jubulile adored her father, he was a wonderful man, and Eddie can tell as much from the way she talks about him. Given his extremely strained relationship with his own father, hearing from Jubulile that she thinks her father would've appreciated Eddie's efforts... it had to mean something to him.

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Writing is hard and sometimes you go 6 months or 19 months without an update and sometimes you just can't write and sometimes you write a lot and nobody looks at it but just remember that even one hit, one kudos, means that somebody is happy that you shared your work. They are happy you shared your fic with the world and I hope anyone who's reading this remembers that. Your weird rarepair that you had to create the tag for; that obscure character who was in just a couple issues; your polyship that someone else frowned upon inspired something in you and that's beautiful. If it makes you happy, keep writing, keep creating, and keep sharing. I love you and I support you. 💕

Ask me about my fics!

[kuronanox]

Insecure Love - Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (AU-NSFW)

She was his prisoner and the toxicity surrounding their relationship put a strain on her mental health. No matter how much she wanted to leave him Grimmjow wouldn't allow it.

He got angry and would scream and break objects in the house scaring her to death and she knew he could have easily hurt her if he wanted to.

Sobbing as she hugged herself on her knees she threw her phone across the wall and screamed out of frustration. "I hate you!"

She knew she should have listen to her friends and family years ago when they told her Grimmjow was bad news, but her young and immature mind felt different.

It's been difficult as she had to pay off student loans and provide for the both of them and half the time she didn't know where he was anymore.

They both were intoxicated about each other no matter how bad things got in their relationship no one ever left, but they left scars towards each other.

Grimmjow happened to come home when he heard her yell in the bedroom, he wanted to fix their strained relationship by bringing good news to her for once. He was hired as a personal body guard to one of Japan most wealthiest celebrities.

"I hate him so much." She says picking up her phone and slamming the bathroom door to freshen up for the night.

He was conflicted if he was going to throw a tantrum and get angry or leave it be for the night, but he wanted to fix things so he chose to ignore her statement and pretend he didn't hear nothing.

(Your Name) was paying all the bills for the last few months after Grimmjow got fired from his last job for beating the shit out of someone, the dude had to be hospitalized.

"Hey." He says roughly as she opened the bathroom door surprised to see him home early.

"You're home early?"

"Tch. I live here too."

"Yeah well whose paying the bills right now? At least let me know where you go half the time." She bit back at him and plopped onto the bed leaning on her elbow.

"Don't start this shit right now." He says pulling his shirt off to get ready for a shower.

"Whatever."

That night after hearing the good news of Grimmjow getting a job again they didn't sleep much. There was a lot of cries and moans rather then words of encouragement.

(Your Name) wanted to be a normal couple for once but she was already broken she didn't know how to express her emotions anymore.

As he fell asleep she laid awake besides him under protection of his arms. The negative thoughts crept in her mind.

He was going to be a body guard to rich celebrities and it lower her self esteem.

It wouldn't surprise her if she found him in bed with one of them; after all she's caught him with other women a few times.

She scoffed why were they like this? They acted like children but they were already in their late 20s acting like high school kids in a relationship.

"Can't sleep?" He asks her with his eyes still closed.

"I'm okay."

"Stop I know something is wrong. You didn't even tell me congrats about my new job... you just kissed me and we had sex."

(Your Name) shivered at his touch because he was rubbing her arms lightly as if he was trying to comfort her discomfort. She was a little weird out by his actions the whole night. He was rarely ever gentle.

"I wanna talk about us." She tells him as he sighs and sits up from the bed and picks her up so she was sitting between his legs.

"Go on."

"Well I've been thinking. I'm almost 30 and we've been together since college isn't it childish to keep hurting each other like this?"

"Are you indicating we should break up?!" Grimmjow slightly raises his voice loosing his cool temper for a second.

"That's not what I'm saying... I just have a professional job at the hospital and well you have that job...it's just that what is our future together?"

Grimmjow doesn't say anything but stares at her, he hasn't thought much about the future but he knew she was going to be in his.

"Don't know." He answers bluntly as he could see in her eyes that she was a bit hurt by his answer. "You are my future."

She just shakes her head and moves away from him disappointed that was his answer to her after so many years together.

She was always called in random times at the hospital and Grimmjow was always traveling or not home because of work, but after the night she talked to him about their future together he reconsider everything he had done in the past.

He couldn't lose her as much as he already has. Grimmjow was slowly making things right for them. He started by coming home every night he didn't have to be away and letting her know where he was when he went out.

Grimmjow even made the effort to clean and cook the house when she came home late from the hospital.

"I just feel like the way he is acting now is temporary and we will go back to our old ways." (Your Name) tells Rangiku as they sat for afternoon brunch one day.

"Well, has he ever done any of these things before? Like cook and clean and even letting you know where he is?"

"No not really this is the first time."

Rangiku mixes her drink and takes a sip before speaking.

"Give it time, I think if he's willing to try new things to keep the relationship alive you should trust him a bit more."

"I guess so, it wouldn't be fair not to." (Your Name) agrees and sadly smile down to the table. "I guess I'm always the one doubting us."

"Good morning." Grimmjow says looking down at (Your Name) with a lopsided smile.

"Oh god he's morning voice is so hot."

(Your Name) sits up from bed and rubs her eyes, they were both naked in the covers. She didn't want to leave the warmth that they both radiantly pulled off so she fell back onto him and cuddled some more.

If she remember clearly Grimmjow took her out on a date as they went clubbing to dance for a bit and she got a little bit to lit. Which ended them both in bed for a good time.

"Did you have fun last night?" He asks her as she nodded slowly only remembering a few clips in the back of her head.

She remembered how Grimmjow unforgivingly pounded into her as his thrust were fast and steady. The way his rough hands held her down and explored every part of her body.

Grimmjow pulling her ass in the air and giving both of them a loud smack before abusing her aching pussy drenched from over stimulation. As she cried out telling him not to stop. The way his tongue fucked her as he sucked and gave long stroke on her clit.

She remembered how they hungrily kissed each other as their tongue explored every inch and how he seductively sucked her bottom lip leaving them plumped and bruised.

"I remember a lot actually." She tells him as his face lit up. Which tells her Grimmjow was definitely into last night heated session.

"Good, things have been great between us." He says as she traced his abs and slowly going to his lower abdomen making him shiver a bit.

"Just thinking about last night turned me on again." She admits feeling the dampened underwear she wore.

"Oh? I'm always down for another round."

Sitting between his legs she pulled his under garments away and threw it across the room impatiently. Grabbing his erected member softly she pumped it a few times and kissed the tip of it. He shuttered and groaned because she was going so slow but all he wanted to do was to fuck her pretty little mouth.

"Jeez baby if you keep teasing me I won't forgive you."

"Shh." She tells him and slowly puts her mouth around his member. Bobbing her head she looked up to him with lustful eyes. His mouth parted a bit as she moaned, the vibration added to the pleasure he was getting.

Grabbing her head he thrusted into her mouth gently as he hit the back of her throat.

Holding his thigh for support she pulled away and gave him long teasing licks around his erected member as she stroke and swallowed it whole again hollowing her cheeks as Grimmjow groaned in response.

Feeling herself getting impatient she slipped one hand to massage her aching core.

"Someone is rather impatient today." He says and pulled her up to face him as they joined lips again giving her a passionate lusty kiss.

Moving to her collarbones and to her breast he swirled her nipples like they were lollipops with his mouth sucking on them as he grabbed her ass and gave it a loud smack.

Releasing his mouth he laid her down and crawled on top, before entering himself he kissed her gently and brought one of her legs up trailing it with kisses.

Grimmjow stroked himself a bit before entering slowly into her drench and aching core. She bit her lip and arched her back, they felt whole again.

(Your Name) couldn't describe the feeling but it was pure bliss and heaven as he thrusted into her faster as he brought his hand and rubbed her clit. She moaned in pleasure and brought Grimmjow closer to her as she wrapped her legs around him. His balls hitting her ass as he kissed her drove her on edge as she moaned into his mouth.

Flipping her on all fours he pounded into her holding her hands behind her back she relied on Grimmjow so she wouldn't fall face down.

Grimmjow was started to get sloppy knowing he was going to cum soon, looking at the mirror he could see her face crying in pleasure and the way her breast swinging back and fourth drove him on edge as he groaned lightly.

Letting her hands go as she fell onto the comfy mattress he grabbed her hip and pounded into her unmercifully he breathlessly said "I'm about to cum."

"It's okay you can cum in me." She says as he leaned down and bit her shoulder and shot his hot seeds into her.

A few months pasted by and their relationship couldn't be any better. They hadn't fought in a long time. They were both happy together even though they had opposite schedules from each other they both tried their hardest to make time for each other.

"I'm leaving to America for a week." Grimmjow says to her one night as they ate dinner together on the couch.

"Okay, whatever your work tells you to do. I'm fine with that."

"Good, just letting you know. I've been getting quite the attention recently." He smirks running his hand through his hair.

(Your Name) knew her boyfriend was extremely good looking and that many women wanted him but after getting a job as a personal body guard with the hottest celebrities in Japan it lowered her self esteem. Although she didn't let it get to her because of how happy they were together it still bothered her.

"I know. I didn't think you were going to get that much attention."

Grimmjow shrugs and pulls her onto his lap. "Why you jealous?"

"Fuck no. You're ugly anyways."

He laughs as his phone rang showing a unknown number to her. Raising her eyebrow she gives him a look. "Aren't you going to answer it?"

"Nah just some annoying fan I'm guessing."

Although she wanted to believe Grimmjow she knew it was to good to be true that they were this happy. She knew Grimmjow was still suspicious.

"Okay then."

After taking his leave to America she saw the celebrity he was going with. She was Japan hottest actress at the moment. (Your Name) didn't want to feel down, but she was getting extremely insecure.

The actress was tall and beautiful, with slick black hair and the most expensive outfits that made her look even more high and mighty.

Before Grimmjow left the actress gave (Your Name) a look up and down and smirked entering her private jet.

"Fuck that bitch." (Your Name) said as she watched Grimmjow leave. "He's still mine."

She didn't hear much from Grimmjow that week because of the time difference and he claimed that he was super busy.

Grimmjow was starting to get his own small fan base in japan and it annoyed her because she felt like he was going to forget her slowly for fame.

When he got back from America everything was the same except she fought condoms in his luggage.

Grabbing them from his suit case she threw the whole case at him. "What the fuck Grimmjow? If you wanted to fuck another bitch at least be more secretive about it!" She yelled as he caught it.

"Woah it's not what you think!" He explains to her as she grabbed her own bags and started to pack.

"I can't do this no more, we can't with this relationship anymore. I'm almost 30 and I'm living a life of a newly college student. I want to advance my future! I want to get married and have kids! If I stay with you any longer I won't be able to love myself."

Grimmjow ran his hands through his hair and followed her in the bedroom. "I didn't do anything with her! I bought those in America for us." He tells her as she looked down and sighed.

(Your Name) wanted to believe him but from past experiences she was scared.

"I want to believe you but I'm scared." She tells him. Grimmjow pulls her close to him and makes her look at his face.

"(Your Name) I promise you I didn't do anything. I'm sorry I make you feel so low and insecure. I want to change that. Just because I work for those famous people doesn't mean I don't think you look just as good. You are the most fucking beautiful person I've ever met and been with. I don't want you to leave, I need you."

Wiping the tears from her face she held his face and traced his face with her thumbs.

"It's just hurts, it hurts to much. It hurts to know that you haven't thought about our future together. I can't let go of the past, your actions from before has caused me to be so cautious about everything you do. That isn't healthy!"

She screams at him as he felt his heart hurt from the way she told him her feelings she had been hiding the whole time.

"Please don't leave, I've been making things right for us. Why can't you believe me for once!" He argued back holding her shoulders tightly afraid to let her go.

That night she spend it in his arms crying.

Grimmjow stayed up till she was okay and comforted her.

Every word he told her weren't lies, he really couldn't see anyone else putting up with his shit besides her. He needed her to keep him sane.

"I'm sorry (Your Name)." He kissed her softly on the head as she snored below him fast asleep now.

Stirring in her sleep she held him tighter, his heart soften from this.

Grimmjow was a tough cookie and he was rarely nice, gentle and compassionate. Over the years he developed those traits being with (Your Name). Because of her he had many opportunities that came into his life and she helped him when he was at his lowest even though it hurt her along the way.

Grimmjow was blinded but slowly saw that (Your Name) will always be there for him no matter how much she says she wants to leave him.

He was ready for the future now, he let go of his past self and was working on his personal growth and goals.

Right now the bills are fine, they both have a stable job and their relationship was fixing slowly, he wouldn't have it any other way. Beside no relationship is perfect and he understood that they will always have their ups and down no matter how much they tried.

"Sleep peacefully (Your Name) I'll be here in the morning." Grimmjow says tiredly giving her one last kiss on the temple before drifting off to sleep.

[graffiastrology]

The Archer, a musical birth chart. Pt2 Capricorn the man

Let's start with :Uranus in Capricorn

Uranus here is not so comfortable and their revolutionary ideas are hold back, Capri is more concerned with real change than fictional utopian ideas, In the case of Swift she took her sweet time to publicly discuss her political views and to be open about her posture on a lot of civil rights, don’t misunderstand me, they were there, just very hidden (the 12 house) but when Capricorn gets down to business they meant it and it can be verified in the tangible changes she made in 2019; she did something beyond the performativity: she pushed a ACT she made a real and tangible change, she was not comfortable just telling homophobes YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN, now we are turning tables (note: At the moment of writing this the equality act has been reintroduced to change.org and is currently at 832k, come guys you have made her debut with 1 million units at the b200 so many times) http://chng.it/5wYyBW4Rvw

But as it is usual with her, the haters were still after her, so much bullshit even after it all, is so easy to go after Saturn on the Ascendant, is it not?

One interpretation of having Saturn in the ascendant is an individual who is prone to be bullied, people are MEAN to them, they doubt their words, and in turn the person becomes so aware of how they come across, some people choose to present themselves in a serious and controlled manner to avoid this, and even more for Saturn in Capricorn, but then we have an opposition, and what does a stern Capricorn stellium say to a soft cancer moon who feels very deeply the words? one day you are going to be living in a big old city, one day you are going to be so big that they can’t hit you, With effort, hard work with a strong work ethic, one day you are going to move the big apple Take your broken heart, put it in a drawer, and it going to sound like WELCOME TO NEW YORK, we have been waiting for you, the Capricornian dream! (Neptune in Capricorn) and now is time to be up in the lights, like diamonds in the sky, you are the LUCKY ONE, Miss swift: money by millions, records after records, your discography is worth so much money, you have an enormous squad of famous friends who have your back when you fight, a big department in New York, but darling... did that fill empty seats at the lunch tables of your past?

And as it is usual with Saturn, he returned. And in her chart it was an intense transit: first for her sagittarian sun then for her ascendent: It was 17 of July of 2016, Saturn was starting his transit in Sagittarius, close to her sun. Meanwhile Pluto was transiting her ascendant, that was the day an influential female libra published an edited conversation that put Taylor in a really bad light. Celebrities rely a lot on images, her image was shattered, and her reputation dragged to the mud celebrities rely a lot on the perception the public has of them, and images are so fragile that a mishap can destroy them, but in her case she had so many people just waiting to have a valid reason to hate her, little it matter to them that the reason was a fabricated lie (if by this point you have not listen to the whole record call, please do so, as it will become very important for the Scorpio section) everything seemed lost, they assassinated her reputation, and then the pain to know that you were lied to, double crossed and declared "death" everything seemed lost for EVERMORE..... but it wasn't. Saturn returns also speak of reclaiming our power, learn lessons and overcome challenges, and its ironic, back on the 1989 world tour she made a big and deep speech that she gave before performing a song that will be the lesson she had to experience in her bones, and it goes like this:

I just hope that you will look in the mirror and remind yourself of what you are, and what you are not. You are not your mistakes. You are not damaged goods or muddy from your failed explorations. You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you. You are a product of the lessons that you’ve learned. You are wiser because you went through something terrible. And you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. I now believe that pain makes you stronger, and I now believe that walking through a lot of rainstorms gets you CLEAN.

Unfortunately Saturn was not done yet, and so it returned to her natal lucky Saturn 13°, all 2018 she had Saturn transits, first for her ascendant then by her natal lucky Saturn 13, behind of the scenes the work of 15 years, 15 million tears was sold for 300 million of dollars to a man that participated in her takedown, while she was “kindly” offered to recover 1 master for 1 album, the scooter brought each master for 50 million dollars, while she was asked to give a entire album, AN ENTIRE ERA, for each master, it was not fair, but it legal. Oh Capricorn women, you play by the rules, you hustle, you stay your ground, you let your work speak for itself…and what happens? The system showed to you the place they have selected for you. to continue to work with these men or to just give up and move to something different, Sometimes walking out is the one thing That will find you the right thing

IT WAS TIME TO GO, but go where?

To THE LAKES, to enjoy melancholy and solitude, after all Capricorn is a feminine sign and is in the same axis with cancer and now I want to point to another of her placements: Mercury conjunct Saturn, This one is a challenge and a gift, difficult learning, a lot of repetition to get the grip of concepts, but once this is tackled, it becomes great at using words, it was a running joke that Taylor made swifties grab a dictionary so they can understand the album folklore, and there are lyrics that exemplifies this:

I've come too far to watch some name dropping sleaze Tell me what are my words worth

Its said that mercury in Capricorn are scientific and pragmatic thinkers, but honestly I have found a couple of song writers with this placement who are very poetic , you can say is the conjunction Neptune and Saturn , I like to say that Capricornian mercury is systematic, which is very prominent in Scientists and engineers , but this structural thinking can be applied to arts as well, and also can be a failed system. After all is about connecting points and words, I could also put a selection of the colors of Taylor swift, another recurrent theme in her writing, but you know what? I say that is just Taylor, it has nothing to do with her birth chart.

Mercury is also about our writing style and when I was reading her lover diaries a lot of them had the signature of capricorn "I just cant wait to be older" yeah that is, also this:

Speaking of writing lets talk about folklore, the album of the year 2020! She did that! an by that I mean she created a new perspective for her music, the old tired argument that “she only writes about her exes” fell flat as she made stories about different characters that captivated thousands of new listeners and I can see a placement in action here:

Capricornian Mercury opposite to Cancerian Jupiter :

The history of James, Betty, and Agustine

It was 2020, a terrible, terrible year for almost everybody, and Taylor found herself in a situation outside her control, the lover era was cancelled like pretty much everything else, she was lucky enough to be in a safe and comfortable place, it was when her imagination flew wild and made history with Folklore and Evermore, from these pieces of work she did something people didn’t gave credit: Writing. As she expanded her storytelling abilities outside her life (which she had already explored not just as much) she crafted a story that was connected across various songs:CARDIGAN, AUGUST, BETTY, TIS IS THE DAMN SEASON and DOROTHEA there is one big picture(Jupiter) and each song gives us details(Mercury) in how the participants lived it; they were in the same classroom,: BETTY, Inez, DOROTHEA, James, their teenage years full of dreams and problems, it was just a summer break when James took the train in AUGUST, and had a summer fling, breaking 2 hearts but he came back to apologize, and she accepted him. Meanwhile Dorothea was trying to make it in LA selling dreams and magazines, while Chris missed her until THE DAMN SEASON came around and they connected one last time. If you remember I selected these last songs for the freedom seekers of the zodiac: Sagittarius and Aquarius which let me jump to the next section.

[nonbinaryresource]

Hi. I'm the 42-year-old anon. Thank you so much for your kind answer. It really feels freeing to know that I don't have to be a man if I don't want to be. Recently I've learned about gender euphoria and dysphoria. I'm not sure if I have the latter. But the former is so hard to come by. How do I not feel hopeless (as in "I'll never feel euphoric", "being called 'sir' or 'ma'am' is just meh and it's no use telling other people to stop misgendering me")? Thank you. (Follow up to /post/189171970916)

https://nonbinaryresource.tumblr.com/post/189171970916

Welcome back!

The first thing you could/should do is look into counseling. There’s a lot of online resources nowadays for therapy and counseling options, which can be cheaper and more accessible for folk. Which also means it can be easier to broaden your search and find queer friendly therapists.

Therapy/counseling/the like isn’t just for when you have diagnosable problems and have hit rock bottom. Therapy is for anyone who could use some help. Someone to talk to. Someone to bounce life ideas off of. Someone in their corner. A feeling of hopelessness is certainly a good reason to have at least a couple sessions with someone who can help you sort out your feelings and find healthy coping mechanisms.

Speaking of - I also want to suggest our coping tag. We have a lot of mental and physical coping mechanisms there. It’s much smaller, but we also have a self esteem tag for how to improve self esteem and your vision of yourself. Our self acceptance tag is kind of an in between tag with advice on how to work on accepting and supporting yourself.

Next, I suggest allowing yourself to explore your gender and presentation and comfort. Exploring in private is perfectly fine. Try ridiculous things. Try things even if you don’t think they’ll help, as long as you’re not just completely uncomfortable with the thought of them. If we don’t let ourselves try and explore and expand, we probably won’t ever find things we like. It takes some effort and time and thought to find what we’re comfortable with and what may indeed make us happy. It’s taken me years to realize that I’m allowed to want top surgery. I’ve never liked my chest, but I never let myself think of top surgery as an option until last year, but the thought of it makes me so excited to get to pursue. So put yourself out there. Try different clothes and hairstyles and titles. Dream about different surgeries. Look into HRT. Just explore any and every option available. I bet you’ll find you’re place where you’re comfortable in getting to be you.

Also, give yourself some time.

There’s a phenomenon that tends to happen to a lot of folk after they realize that they’re trans/nonbinary/queer. Maybe they spent all this time searching for answers or maybe they kind of stumbled onto this thing that explains how they feel. There may be a brief moment of happiness where people realize ‘hey, I’m not alone!’ They found a term that explains them and explains some ways they’ve been feeling and there’s a new community that comes with this! They finally understand.

Then there’s an immediate dip. The happiness was a short spark and now they’re onto grieving. They’re grieving for who they thought they were and the life they thought they were leading and were going to keep leading. They can get overwhelmed with hopelessness and despair. They feel lost. They discovered this thing about themselves that makes sense, but it’s something that’s not very visible or well accepted. They may have bigots close to them in their life that they worry about. The thought of coming out is terrifying and overwhelming. It seems like there’s more negatives than there are positives to this piece of information they’ve discovered about themselves.

It takes time, even for us, to adjust to this knowledge about ourselves and the new challenges there will be for us to face in life. So give it time. You’re going through something scary and overwhelming. You won’t adjust overnight. That’s okay.

It will take time for you to settle and to come to terms with your new reality. But, slowly, you’ll begin figuring things out. You’ll find your happy place in terms for coming out and being closeted. You’ll find courage to do things you thought you’d never be able to try. For me, right now, at least I can be out online, and that’s something. Find those seemingly little things that make you more comfortable and hold onto them. Celebrate them.

So, also, search out community. Maybe that means meetup.com or facebook groups. Maybe that means going to PFLAG meetings. Maybe that means volunteering for your local queer org. Maybe that means following positivity and friendly tumblrs. Maybe that means exploring your nonbinary identity through fanfic that you share on ao3 or wattpad or ff.net or wherever. Sometimes it just helps to know that you’re not alone and that others are feeling or have felt the same way as you.

~Pluto