#i've only been here since when there were eight books out and i'm already so tired of wanting more of this series

[the-way-astray]

if kotlc book ten isn't the last kotlc book, i'm throwing hands

[em1989ts]

𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆

five hargreeves x reader

word count: 1.6k

book summary: five hargreeves gets lost in time and your father forces you to go after him, leaving you to get lost in a completely different kind of solitude. after decades, you meet at the hands of the handler, except you're not exactly happy to work with him after what he did. the two of you agree to put your differences aside until you save the world. how hard could that be?

author's note: this is the beginning of a story that i've been planning since august so now i'm finally writing about it! i'm more focused on uploading this for wattpad but i decided why not post it here as well. i plan on writing s1-s4 (hopefully i have the motivation) so please let me know your thoughts !! reblogs and comments much appreciated :)

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began.

 Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He got eight of them. 

~~~~~

“Don’t do it.” 

Five Hargreeves stood in front of the mirror in his room, his back to the door. The bell for breakfast was going to ring soon, but his mind wasn’t on a healthy start to the day. Minimal morning light entered his room through the edges of his curtains, his room remaining dark and motionless. He hadn’t noticed her pass by his room and turn around after catching a glimpse of his still figure in the corner of her eye. He hadn’t noticed her retrace her few steps and lean against the doorframe. He only noticed her presence once she announced it with solemn discouragement. 

He had been contemplating for days. He knew he was ready for this. He told himself so. He couldn’t back down at this point, he had already set his mind to it. Backing down would look weak. He wasn’t weak. 

His expression was stoic as he stared at himself for a moment longer, then turned to face her at the door. 

Without her domino mask, her face remained impassive. She rarely displayed any emotion, except for the fact that her face at rest made her seem constantly angered. But as of right now, she showed no frown, no furrowed brow, not even a blink. 

They stood a few feet apart. Once he looked directly in her eyes he could see a sliver of something. He knew she didn’t want him to leave. He just thought she underestimated him, that she didn’t believe in him, that she was envious of him. But that look in her eye told him a different story. Something he’d never seen in her before, not that he ever paid too close of attention to her or anything like that. They had never gotten along. They never cared or looked out for each other, so why was she pulling this now?

She watched him intensely, almost staring through his soul, trying to reach though him to his conscious and convince him not to make the biggest mistake of his life. 

But they wouldn’t know it. Not then, anyway. 

The breakfast bell rang and the doors of the other children opened up swiftly as they filed through the hallway in a swift, orderly fashion to get to their assigned places in efficient time. 

Neither Five nor Eight moved. They stayed staring into each other's eyes trying to communicate something through their unintelligible irises. They’d played this game before. Intense staring contests in hopes of the other backing down, awarding a feeling of eminence to the victor until the next time they decided to face head to head. 

This time, her eyes weren’t challenging. They were pleading, vulnerable to his attacks in the hopes he’ll stand down and listen to her for once. His eyes were defensive. He trusted himself and that was all he needed. His stature grew colder until he walked over to her position against the doorframe. 

She shuddered as he got closer. He seemed so lost yet so certain. She could feel it in the darkness that morning that something was about to go horribly wrong. She heard it through the shadows. 

Five would never understand this interaction. Not until years later. He never knew how she could have known, especially since she hadn’t been trusted with his plans for time travel. 

He stopped in front of her less stoic, more distraught face. He looked through his angered eyes into hers. 

“Watch me.” 

~

She never went down to breakfast that day. Knowing exactly what happened after he rushed to his place behind his chair. They sat and ate, he stood up, played his cards, failed, and ran off like the scared child he was. 

She watched him though the velvet curtains that obscured her normally pitch black room from the outside world. The light was let in, casting her face in a warm haze as she watched him run off. Free. Arrogant. Until a flash of blue light took him away. 

Letting go of the curtain, the sunlight vanished from her room, leaving her in her usual darkness, feeling her usual repugnance. She knew she would be reprimanded by her father for not going downstairs. She didn’t want to face him, not while knowing her own failure.  

She could have tried harder. She could have done more. That’s what everyone would tell her. 

She could have cared more. But she didn’t. Not at this moment in time anyway. 

She could’ve made him fall into his own shadow, leaving him no possibility of escape. 

But she didn’t. 

There was no arguing with Five. His thirteen year old self was difficult. He was so prideful that there was no chance he would ever back down from whatever he set his mind to. He would never admit being wrong or at fault.

He would come to regret this. 

He would regret the fact that he never listened to his father. How he never listened to Eight as she tried to stop him, to help him for once in her life. 

Once Reginald Hargreeves realized that Number Five had lost himself in time, he did what he could to retrieve the child. He also decided to double this rescue mission as a punishment for Number Eight. 

~ 

“You will not leave here until you find Number Five and return him to this time.” 

They were in the basement. The cold, dark basement that gave each of the Hargreeves children nightmares for weeks after they’d been escorted here. Their powers tested in ways that messed with their minds and fears. 

If Number Eight was afraid, she didn’t show it. She was however, without a doubt. 

She hadn’t been down here for years. She had learned to manage her fear of the dark at a very young age. With her power, she had to, otherwise she’d be utterly useless. 

She had to control the voices echoing in the void. The whispering, screaming, threatening, comforting voices that escaped the darkness to haunt the one child who could hear them. 

Reginald opened the chamber door, made to withstand the powers of the children, and instructed Eight to enter. 

She did as she was told, but as Reginald recited his desired outcome, concern overcame her. 

As Pogo shut the door and secured it, the room was completely dark. Of course she was used to the darkness, she thrived in it, but she couldn’t handle being trapped in here forever.

During her trainings, she had been told to practice traveling through the void. The void was the term her father used to describe complete darkness, or a very large shadow. She could enter the void by disappearing into her own shadow, someone else's shadow, or shadows made by objects. 

Her father had made her practice entering one shadow, traveling through the void, and exiting through another. It had worked, but navigating in pure darkness is not as easy as it may seem. 

Once her father and Pogo had returned upstairs, the basement light was shut off. With no one around to witness. She screamed. She yelled and cried on the floor until she became tired and dull. While she lay on the cold cement ground, she figured to herself that Reginald Hargreeves couldn’t possibly leave her here. To starve. To freeze. But he did. Not intentionally. 

Reginald Hargreeves did intend to let her out within 48 hours, however when he returned to the basement with Pogo holding out a small flashlight against the window of the chamber, they noticed it was completely empty. Number Eight had vanished. Lost in darkness. Lost in space. Lost.

Just like Number Five. 

She wouldn’t be found for many years.

Her body dormant in the conditions of the void, her mind wide awake. 

Light never met her eyes. Not a drop of sunlight met her skin for decades. 

She knew she shouldn’t be alive. She hadn’t eaten, yet she could feel her skin wrinkle with time. 

Without any idea how long she had been trapped, she just assumed she was dead. 

Until she heard clicking amongst the voices. 

It was often that a shadow nearby had some sort of ambience behind it. Whether it was the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, with its smells and sounds of Paris, or the shadow behind a TV, letting her hear the yells and cheers of football fans during a big game. 

She would often linger around those noises, to feel a sense of familiarity for a normal life she’d been imagining in her head, the darkness as the perfect blank canvas. Never getting too close in fears of everything becoming too real. 

Until these clicking noises grew closer. 

The clicking of high heels against a smooth floor.

Suddenly illuminated through the flick of a zippo, a tall, well dressed woman came into view. Number Eight jumped and hid behind her hands, not expecting to be blinded by such a small flame. As she brought her hands in front of her face, she saw just how wrinkled they were, how much she had aged. 

“I’ve come to offer you a job, Number Eight.” 

☂︎

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒘𝒐

authors note: thank you so much for reading! i appreciate it sm :) if you want to be on the taglist for upcoming chapters please let me know ! also if you have any ideas for upcoming chapters or other fics my inbox is open i'd love to hear your ideas!

read 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏 on wattpad!

[keter-kan]

ALRIGHT!!! Ch. 12 :) i know it's been awhile since the last post, but this is where I've left off since the beginning of the semester! Everything post chapter twelve has yet to be written ajskakksks and may take a while longer... I'm hoping to keep the general motivation going for it though so !!! Wish me luck lmao

May and Oryn have decided it's time to end the siege, when Jonas makes an appearance.

Tags: @skidotto @idonthaveapenname

tw: mentions of death, abuse, murder, war, stabbing, blood, harsh weather

Ch. 12

            “Open the doors, Demetrius,” May’s voice was sharp and clear.

            “My Lady?”

            “Get Alec,” she said, “and open the doors. Send him out in the camps to help gather and shift everyone indoors.” Their steps were in sync as they climb the stairs from the basement.

            Demetrius nodded. “Whatever you say, My Lady,” he breathed out a light huff.

            May stopped in her tracks on the next step, putting up a hand and turning to face him. “You only ever listen without complaint to my stupid plans when your vehemently against an even worse one I’ve hatched. Out with it.”

            He moved past her, continuing up the stairs and gesturing for her to do the same. “It wasn’t smart to leave him down there.”

            May’s jaw tightened as she followed, now in his wake. “He needs answers. There’s no one else who can provide them.”

            “You don’t think he’ll kill the old sot?” Demetrius laughed, opening the hatch that led from the basement back up to the main manor.

            May shook her head, rolling her eyes. “What makes you think I don’t already plan on doing that myself? Besides,” The two of them stepped out of the shadows and back into the torch-lit halls of the manor, “He need answers. I’d like some, too.” She pushed in front of him with a slightly faster pace and headed towards her office.

            Demetrius nodded, letting the subject drop. “Tell Alec to start bringing in the men, and then what, my lady?”

            “Meet me here,” she called down to him, “the siege needs to end. Tonight.”

-

            “You remember me?”

            The room was dank, full of moss that had started to overtake the forever damp stone floor and walls, creeping white vines pushing through the cracks to make homes amongst them. Oryn could swear they heard the scuttle of rats in the rooms beyond, but was too busy with the task at had to force themselves to look further.

            “I remember,” they said, circling the man as if they were stalking prey. He sat upon a ratty wooden stool, legs bound to the legs and hands tied behind his back. May had requested that Oryn leave him here when they were done with him: she had her own questions to ask.

            “Good, then,” he said, sighing as his posture sunk further in on himself. They had cleaned his wounds and dressed him in slightly cleaner robes, providing a meal of whatever bit of food they could had on hand. “I’m sure you have many questions,” he coughed for a moment before catching his breath, “and I hope to provide some semblance of an answer for you.”

            Oryn stopped pacing to look Jonas up and down. With his face washed, feet bandaged, and beard properly braided, they could tell now that he must have been a man of status at one point. Alec had done well in teaching them the ways of local society and religion and they could recognize the symbols they saw floating amongst the books and scrolls; the large eight-point star representing the Siblings of Chaos was embroidered on his tattered undershirt, the same symbol with a circle enclosing it tattooed on the man’s chest. They hadn’t recognized that before, the one time they’d met that Oryn could remember.

            “They branded you for making Chaos?” they said, motioning towards the tattoo.

            He nodded. “But wouldn’t strip me of my status.” He shrugged his shoulder forward, once again showing off the pin. He’d carefully taken it off of the tattered robes he previously bore and attached it to the new ones provided him.

\           “You wear the High Councilor’s pin of the Sanctum,” they all but verbatim repeated from some thick tome or another.  

            “The Lady of Ilucia has been teaching you, I assume?” Despite the circumstances, the man laughed once again.

            “The witches never told me,” Oryn muttered, eyes becoming slits as their jaw twitched. They didn’t want to defend those who had sheltered them from the world, and yet…

            “They never told you much of anything, child,” Jonas said, looking up at Oryn from where he sat. “And yet, here you are. Making your way nonetheless.”

            Oryn shook their head. “I’m not going with you.”

            Jonas sighed. The look in his eyes suddenly became something dark and heavy, a deep pit holding all the answers anyone could ever seek and the horrors that come with them.

            “You can’t change my mind,” Oryn’s voice was calm. They counted their breaths, steadying their heartbeat as it started to rage in their ears.

            Jonas’s mouth hung open for a moment, his rotting teeth browning at the gums. “Your mother,” he whispered, his old and quivering skeletal body becoming still as his gaze bore into Oryn’s soul.

            They felt the blood draining from their face as they contested his gaze with their own, taking another step further towards the precipice. “I want to know of her.”

            He sucked in a fresh breath of air with force. “The Forgotten Princess, to be married to the Forgotten Prince. The stories they tell…”

            The text they’d read said nothing about any of that.

            Jonas could read the confusion clearly on Oryn’s face. “Not up to recent years in your lessons?” He choked on another short laugh, but his features remined hard and serious, his eyes lacking their jovial grandfatherly nature they’d carried before he’d mentioned…

            Oryn shook their head. “Speak plainly.”

            He sighed. “I find it a great shame,” he mumbled as he caught his breath once again, “that three women of such intelligence would keep such knowledge from you.” He hummed a bit to himself, scanning the small room he found himself in.

            “My… Tutor,” Oryn started, “told me that knowledge is how average men hold power. How they cope with never being allowed to Mend the sewn Chaos.”

            “Do you believe that?”

            “Not completely,” they said, their gaze hard. “It’s powerful, yes. I am strong in knowing,” they started slowly stalking around Jonas yet again, one slow step being taken after another. “But men are strong in other ways. With swords, axes, bows… they are all so weak when they’re leaking blood.”

            “The church,” Jonas mumbled, “the Sanctum. Do you think that’s power? Or the King?”

            “It is so easy to die, so easy to kill,” Oryn mumbled, “that it’s hard to look at an old man in a chair far too large for him and decide that’s the image of power.” They shook their head, stopped their pacing.

            “Men work in ways only the Gods may understand,” Jonas said, the legs on his stool creaking as he shifted his weight.

            Oryn let out a sly laugh under their hot breath. “I am angry with the witches for never teaching me,” she laid a gentle hand on Jonas’s frail and bony shoulder, “And yet grateful to never have known. I can look upon the societies that man has built and see how uncouth it all is; how seemingly barbaric and unestablished.” She shook her head as she lifted her hand from the man’s shoulder and walked to be in front of him, crouching down to meet his gaze with her own. “And your Gods…” they scoffed.

            Jonas looked upon Oryn with more than mere anger; the disgust was laid upon them with his unrelenting gaze. “You do not know of what you speak, child.”

            Oryn eyes narrowed as they looked deeper into Jonas’s soul, into what he’s done and who he was and where he’s been. They swallowed hard and took a deep breath as the drone started humming at the back of their head.

            He started to struggle against his restraints. “You don’t know what made you!”

            “Then tell me, old man,” they spat, “for my patience is growing thin.”

            His face contorted as the thrumming in his own skull started hammering harder and harder, begging to break free. “Demon!” He screamed, his hoarse voice echoing against the cold stone walls surrounding them while he strained against his restraints.

            “What am I, Councilor?” Their skin crawled with the potential of another kill, more blood spilled atop old stones that would forget the death as it was washed away. And yet they continued to hesitate nonetheless. Although this man would never get the pleasure of taking them alive, he was possibly the only person left alive who knew what they were.

            “Demon,” he repeated, his eyes still burning hot and wild as he coughed and caught his breath, trying to contain his fear.

            Oryn shook their head yet again, standing and resuming their pacing. "I may not have a very deep understanding of your Gods, but I can tell you that if they’re real, they’ve either left your sorry lot or have died.” She scoffed. “I find it horrid how you all can believe in something so… untouchable.”

            The man’s features changed, suddenly showing a deep and sudden pity for what must have been someone but a child in his own eyes.

            “I hope, dearest Oryn, for your lovely mother’s sake, that the God’s choose to have mercy on your dying soul.”

            He stoked the fire burning inside of them even more.

            They stood behind the chair he was strapped to, gripping the back of the chair as they watched the wood crack beneath their knuckles. They leaned down, their neck creaking with the strain of their spine shifting inside of them, their skin pulling itself taught as the muscle shifted.

            “Tell me of her,” they whispered against the skin of his ear, sending a shiver through his body as he mumbled a prayer, trembling in his seat.

            The creak of bone on bone rang through the small room, mixing with the squeaking of dusting rodents and the soft drip of condensation running down the walls. Their breaths created a harmony, Oryn’s staunch snout spouting steam into the air as Jonas’s fear sucked it deep into his lungs.

            He whimpered as the ropes dug deep into his wrists while he tried to break free and run from the beast lurking behind him, seeking answers only he could give. His eyes were shut tight as he felt the foul drool drip thick and heavy onto his shoulder.

            “Leandra,” he whispered.

            Silence.

            The crack of a shot from a bow rang out, an arrow piercing Jonas through the heart.

            Oryn’s face lifted quickly, standing on two hind legs and stretching themselves to reach against the stone ceiling, flexing against the restraint of their own skin.

            May stood in the darkened doorframe, crossbow positioned at her chest, pointing towards the dead man’s body.

            “Oryn,” she said, panting and wiping her brow. “We need you.”

[cressida-jayoungr]

Only Dreaming of Peace

(Note: I am neither the original author nor the translator of this piece. It is a favorite post from my LiveJournal days. The original post, by LiveJournal user Lilan14, can be found here.)

I know I still have my vacation report to finish, but that will have to wait, as I saw this wonderful real-life story in one of my LJ friends' journal. It was originally posted to ru_cats, a Russian cat-lover comm, by a mystery book writer, and her style is just as excellent as the story itself. So, sit back and enjoy! Oh, and make sure you're not eating or drinking something while at it, for your own safety...

The translation is mine.

Only Dreaming of Peace...

I've been recently asked to post to LJ a story of uneven struggle of Man with Cat for the right to sleep where they want, without the risk of dying shamefully underneath a cat's butt. I am doing this and hiding it behind the cut. Let it stay here as a reminder to posterity and the desperate ones who will decide to get a Maine Coon and a bed with a wide headboard.

Part One

Dear ru_cats people, I am here asking for advice.

There's a cat. The cat weighs ten kilograms. There's a bed. The bed has a tall soft headboard 10 to 15 cm wide. There are also the cat's owners, who sleep on the bed.

At night, the cat leaps onto the headboard and walks on it. The cat has a night promenade. However, since the cat was a cow in the previous life and transferred certain peculiarities to his present incarnation, during his fourth or fifth go he loses his balance and plops down. If I'm lucky, the cat lands beside me. If I'm not, the ten kilograms of the cat land onto my head, and always butt-first, for some reason.

Question: how to make the cat drop the habit?

Have already tried:

duct tape spread on the headboard. (As a result, we spent half the night taking them off the crazed cat, nearly scalping him).

the cat's hated smell of ylang-ylang. (The cat didn't care it was hated).

tangerine peel in large amounts (The cat swept the peel onto my head in disgust, following it in the process).

What else can be done? I've already slept with spray under my pillow. The cat runs away, then comes back.

The cat's picture enclosed for realizing the scope of the problem:

Part Two

Two days ago, I posted this cry for help to the comm: http://ru-cats.livejournal.com/19218540.html Got a lot of replies. Two were used at once. Reporting as promised.

I like simple and easily implemented ideas. That's why the suggestions to attach a shelf to the bed, to the cat, to my head, so that it would be comfy for him to fall onto, were postponed.

First I took six balloons from the kid, inflated them and placed them between the wall and the bed. It all looked very pretty. Husband and I admired them and went to bed.  

In the middle of the night, there was a bang. In my sleep, I thought husband had shot the cat (even though the only weapon in our house is a water pistol). When the lights were turned on, the cat was sitting on the floor amidst bits of a blue balloon, squinting disapprovingly. He got kicked, the balloons were moved, and we went to bed again. This was our strategic error, proving how little we knew about cats.

He exploded two more balloons about twenty minutes later and ran away, making derisive sounds. Husband insisted that I take everything away and be done with experiments for the night. While I was putting the balloons away, the cat sneaked up to the largest one and smacked it with his paw.

Results: minus four balloons, minus two hours of sleep, minus eight meters of nerve fiber per two adults. Plus cat entertainment.

Then we went for Plan B. The entire headboard was covered with several layers of foil, so it would rustle loudly. I assured husband he could now sleep in peace: the cat would definitely be afraid to step onto the foil.

Well, I was almost right. The cat showed up a couple of hours later, when we were asleep. He jumped onto the foil from the wardrobe. The foil rustled, the cat freaked out, leapt into the air and fell onto husband.

Results: minus ten meters of foil, minus forty drops of sedative per two adults. Plus cat entertainment.

This is how he was looking at us in the morning, while we were trying to make breakfast with shaking hands.

I will try the shelf tomorrow.

Part Three

After the foil and the balloons failed, I started to think in a different direction: how not to let the cat into the bedroom at night.

First I used cat repellent. Unfortunately, the cat did not get it was repellent. However, husband did; he winced, sniffed and finally asked me to air the room. So I now have husband repellent; if anyone needs it, I can share.

The washbowl full of water turned out to be just as stupid. We placed it counting on the cat splashing in it and forgetting the bed (he loves water).

We had counted half-correctly: the cat did splash, but he didn't forget the bed. At night, he hopped back to us, shaking wet paws. In my sleep, I thought he had twenty-two of them. He used ten to step on my face, the rest to run on the sheets. Finally, he kissed husband soundly on the nose, nuzzling him with a wet face dripping with water.

After that husband said screw the interior, he agreed to the shelf.

In the evening, he brought a polished board, spent two hours with it, cursed the innocent bed, and, finally, attached it. I wanted to say that I preferred the cat rather than that thing falling onto us (no one would get from under it alive). But I looked at husband's face and decided to keep it to myself. Okay, I thought, so we'll sleep with it one night, and then I'll take it off.

In addition, the kid ran it before bedtime and left her toys on it. I waved it aside and didn't scold her, because I was thinking which relative to pick to raise our child, should we be buried under the shelf.

(I have to say my worries were silly: as it turned out, husband did a quality job with it.)

In the middle of the night, the cat stepped onto the shelf. He strolled nonchalantly halfway along the shelf and touched one of the toys with his paw.

It turned out to be an interactive Zhu Zhu Pets hamster.

From the touch of a cat paw, the hamster turned on. It cried out cheerfully "Abuzuuuuuuuuuzyyyyyy!" and ran toward the cat, glowing with love.

I would gladly tell you about what happened next. But I won't lie: we didn't see it. And we didn't see the cat until morning. The hamster reached the edge of the shelf and committed suicide lemming-style, jumping off a rock into the full washbowl.

Result: we took off the shelf. We have a guard hamster sitting on the headboard now. The cat does not go into the room. If he happens to notice the hamster through the open door, he swells to manul size and retreats in horror.

Here is our hero and rescuer:

[taylor-on-your-dash]

11 Questions With Taylor Swift (The Boot - Nov 5, 2007)

At the ripe old age of 17, Taylor Swift is already in the country music history books. She's the only female solo artist ever to write or co-write every song on a platinum-selling debut album. And though the songwriting prodigy is hard at work on her second album, she isn't quite ready to put the CD that's earned her numerous accolades to rest. Swift recently sat down with us to talk about beefing up her eponymous debut. And in true teenage fashion, we also gab about boys, high school drama and how she helped her buddy Kellie Pickler through a tough breakup.

Tell us what's included on the new 'Taylor Swift [Deluxe Edition]' project.

The album has been out for a year, but it's too early to put out the second studio album. But we wanted to give [the fans] more music. So this was an opportunity to put out three new songs and a bunch of exclusive content. I actually edited a home movie on my laptop, and it's on there as a special feature. There's my first phone conversation with Tim McGraw, all my music videos and a bunch of concert footage. The [new] songs are demos that I wrote when I was 15, trying to get a record deal. (x)

Is there a true story behind your current single, 'Our Song'?

I wrote this song in my freshman year of high school for my ninth grade talent show. I was sitting there thinking, "I've gotta write an upbeat song that's gonna relate to everyone." And at that time, I was dating a guy and we didn't have a song. So I wrote us one, and I played it at the show. Months later, people would come up to me and say, "I loved that song that you played." And then they'd start singing lines of it back to me. They'd only heard it once, so I thought, "There must be something here!" (x)

You've toured with some notorious pranksters, namely Rascal Flatts and Brad Paisley. What's the funniest joke that's been played on you?

Brad Paisley hasn't pranked me yet ... because he's afraid of me. [laughs] But Rascal Flatts had all of their crew take fold-out chairs and just sit on the stage during my performance. So there were eight guys, just sitting on stage reading the newspaper. And I'm playing right next to their faces, kinda hamming it up, trying to intimidate them. And I look in the newspapers they're reading, and there are Chippendales models in the newspapers! [laughs] (x)

We hear you wrote a song with Kellie Pickler for her next album.

Kellie came on my bus this summer and was all upset about her ex-boyfriend. She was like, "I just want to be over this!" And she gets up on stage now and tells everyone all about it. She's like [imitating Kellie], "He went out and got some other girl pregnant!" [laughs] And I'm like, "OK, if you want to tell everyone your personal stuff, but there's no better way to get over something than to write it all down." So we went into the back bedroom of my tour bus and wrote this awesome song. It's about how, for the rest of his life, he's going to regret cheating on her. And she's said to me since then, "You know what, I didn't think there was anything I could do to really get past that. But writing that song gave me complete closure." (x)

Is there anything you miss about high school?

I don't think there's really anything I miss, to be honest. There's a lot less drama when you're touring the country on a major tour. And I've actually been to prom before ... twice. So I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. It was really great that I got to experience those first two years of high school, and I'll never forget that. I learned a lot. But I feel like I've had the best senior year ever. (x)

How would you say your young age has helped you and how has it hurt you in the music business?

I think my age has helped me, because I can write about things I'm going through and girls my age can automatically relate. And I think [my age] has hurt me, because in the beginning, people were like, "Teenagers and country music? No way!" And I had interviewers who were dead-set on trying to get me to feel bad about how old I was. But you have to stand by who you are. I am 17-year-old girl, and I'm not ashamed of that. Age should not limit what you can accomplish. (x)

Is there a special guy in your life?

I'm completely single! I think that love is something that hits you when you're not looking for it. So I've been actively not looking for it for like two years. [laughs] I'm always the third wheel on my friends' dates. I have a bunch of best friends who never go more than a month without having a boyfriend. And I think that's kinda rubbed off on me, because I've seen the stuff they've gone through over the past two years. And I'm just like, "I'm gonna pursue my career instead." (x)

Garth Brooks has said that you are one of his daughters' favorite singers. Is that surreal to hear that a living legend is familiar with your music?

He is a living legend! And if you asked me who my hero is, I'd say Garth Brooks. I've met Garth's girls, they're wonderful. They came out to one of my shows. And it's just so unbelievable to see someone like Garth Brooks have kids who like my music. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? Your dad is Garth Brooks!" It's the coolest feeling ever. (x)

Do you have any other famous fans?

I was at the ACM Awards, and Emma Roberts came up to me backstage. She was like, "I just have to let you know, I'm announcing you tonight. And I'm a really big fan." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm going to see your movie this weekend!" It was really cool. She's a sweetheart. (x)

Unlike a lot of other teen celebrities, you have managed to keep out of trouble. How do you resist temptation?

You have to surround yourself with good people who will tell you the things that maybe you don't want to hear -- the things you need to know to not do. I feel like I have an obligation to be responsible. I have a million people who went out and bought my album. Who knows how many of them were young girls? And I always think about the ten year old girl in the front row at my concert before I make a decision. "What would she think if she saw me do this? Would this affect her choices?" (x)

Out of all the milestones you've hit this year -- platinum sales, 8 weeks at No.1 on the country album charts, a CMT award, a CMA nomination -- what's been the highlight of your career?

The highlight of my career so far has been winning the CMT Breakthrough Video of the Year award. It's a fan-voted awards show, so I don't see any greater honor than winning an award that was voted on by fans. It was for my first video that I ever put out ['Tim McGraw'], and I'll never forget the feeling of just running ... bolting up to that stage. It was just the most amazing feeling. (x)

[becomingkatie]

Theo is still not doing great. Now that we've been tracking his every litterbox attempt, it's clear that pooping is more of the trouble than peeing. He's peeing about twice a day, but only pooping every three days, and mostly outside the litterbox. Lots of going in and out of the litterbox before every pee and poop, having to try for each. It's heartbreaking, and he's on an all-wet food diet now to boost his hydration, and the vet recommended some additional supplements for his joints (he definitely has some pain) and his urinary tract in addition to pain medications in the hopes that some of the troubles are just that it hurts him to assume the position and not that something worse is wrong internally. But as more time goes on and he doesn't improve, it just gets hard. And of course putting the medicine in his food makes him not want to eat the food, and he won't take pill pockets anymore. He's tired of it. We're tired of it.

We didn't travel for Christmas like we'd planned, because we can't leave him with a sitter and feel comfortable right now. I still haven't mailed my brother and his wife their presents - since we were going to drive, there was no time pressure to prepare, and then when we cancelled our plans everything felt chaotic and I need to actually get them in the mail asap. I finally wrapped all but one, and that one is a mock-up of the pottery stamp and I had to wait for the paint to dry before I could wrap it. I wanted to make something for him to unwrap, but didn't want to buy it without talking with him first so he can decide what the stamp actually has on it, whether it's his signature or a logo or something else.

Since we can't really travel right now and she's semi-retired, my mom is coming to visit us. She's coming up today and staying three nights. It's a long drive at over eight hours. Not as long as the drive I used to make from here down to where she and my dad lived, but still not a fun solo drive. I'm very grateful she's making that drive just to see us, and I'm excited to give her her presents and hug her and have her see Theo. Part of me feels guilty for not traveling and feels like if she sees us mixing medicine into his food multiple times a day, tracking every litter usage, she'll be like "of course you couldn't travel!" Even though she and my brother were already like "do not worry! your cat is sick! stay home and do what you need to! we'll see you when we see you!" and didn't make us feel bad about it.

I'm trying to come up with some ideas for what to do while she's here. I've got food mostly figured out but not activities.

I've also been in a BAD MOOD lately, and I think a lot of it is that the year is ending and a new year is starting and I just feel like I failed this year? Like I feel disappointed in myself for not getting my next book finished and published, and instead of getting in better shape I slid into worse shape, and my head is just a really negative space right now. And when your own head is a negative space, that negativity leaks out. I keep a wall calendar specifically so I can look back at the end of the year and see all the things I did - remember that I started a writing group, that I played DND for the first time, that I grew carrots and turned them into cake, etc. So after Mom leaves when I have some alone time it's imperative that I spend some time turning this headspace around so I can stop spewing negativity. I'm not even enjoying being in my own presence, so I know Ken can't be enjoying it.

This has been... way more negative of a post than I realized! But the wrapping paper I bought this year is super cute, the gift I'm making for my best friend Molly is coming along adorably and I'm really excited to post pics here after I send it to her, and I have a consultation at the hair salon later to talk about cutting my hair and dying it pink! There's good!

[bloodboundsiege]

out of curiosity, what made you decide to make this into a full fledged visual novel instead of just writing a fic? esp since afaik there hasn't been a demand/outcry for more bloodbound

(this ended up being rlly long, so I'm putting it under a cut. if you don't want to read all of that, the tl;dr is I've been working on an spec adaptation of Bloodbound since 2021, I've been making edits with Choices assets for a little over a year now, and I started messing around with ren'py during my stint in the now no longer active @nightboundthesecond project, and this spinoff is the culmination of all of those things bc I wanted to do something w them).

Anyways, here's the long version:

So...I kind of already did. Sort of.

In summer of 2021, I was going through a pretty bad depressive episode and ended up rereading Bloodbound (which got me back into the fandom as a whole, more on that in a sec). When the dust cleared, I began really heavily reconsidering what exactly I was doing with my life.

I'd been toying with the possibility of doing a film MFA of some kind, but I was worried I didn't have the skillset to get into any grad programs. So, I began teaching myself how to write screenplays by adapting Bloodbound into a spec TV series. From August 2021 to April 2022, I wrote twenty-eight episodes, with three rounds of revisions, which really strengthened my abilities as a writer. I'm currently at a T10 film school getting an MFA. I wouldn't be where I am without doing that. Part of my love for Bloodbound stems from the fact that it quite literally changed my life.

The very nature of turning a book into a screenplay/teleplay is that you have to restructure a lot of plot points so they fit in better with the new medium. With a TV adaptation, you also usually have to build onto the source material. For Bloodbound, that meant fleshing things out and creating new characters to move the plot forward. It also meant exploring things that either happened offscreen or were only brief scenes.

And so when it came time to write episodes for the book 2 adaptation, the huge aspect of that was going into New York City and seeing what Gaius was doing during his hostile takeover. And since I had very little to work with from the source material, I had to come up with a lot of stuff off the cuff. And as I put those storylines together, I was like there's actually some pretty interesting stuff here. This visual novel is based off of that stuff.

@clansayeed and his fantastic reimaginings of Bloodbound and Nightbound had been on my radar for a while at this point, but I wasn't aware of the fake caps he made until I actually checked out his tumblr account. I thought they were really fucking cool. As a little private celebration for finishing the third round of edits for season 1 (and to let myself take a break), I decided to teach myself how to make fakecaps and recreate a few scenes from my adaptation in the Choices format:

I found out that I really enjoyed reworking assets into new outfits and character designs--lowkey, putting on a podcast or a video essay, opening up pixlr, and just making stuff became one of my go-to ways to unwind in the midst of mfa apps and life in general--, so I started making more fandom service stuff for fun and posting them on Reddit. I made a variety of stuff: role reversal AU edits, general dress up stuff, and of course... "on the set of [choices book]: the tv show" fake caps.

I feel like you're not really supposed to say this, but it was kind of validating to me that a lot of those posts did like. Decent numbers. And that kind of motivated me to get better at doing it, especially in the beginning.

And then...It Lives Within dropped. And I think that shifted a lot of how people--myself included--considered what they could do within a fandom space like Choices. Like, if we could make our own shit, why not? I was really intrigued by the idea, and so when there were calls for writers and sprite artists for a Nightbound project, I jumped at the opportunity.

(As a side note, I think the fact that now there are people within the fandom making their own sequels/spinoffs/whatever is gonna be rlly interesting for the general ecosystem of the Choices fandom and its future, but that's a convo for another time lol)

While the team I was on is no longer working on a sequel, being part of that group did a lot for me, and I look back on being part of that really fondly. I think we all were kind of picking up whatever we needed to do, regardless of if it was what we signed on for. For me, that meant teaching myself how to use Ren'py. The thing was, this was still in the really early stages of development, which meant I didn't have a lot of story to play with. So...

I was kind of like. Fuck it. Let me try my own thing out.

The original idea was actually a prequel set in the 1910s, as I'd done an MC set and an LI set based on that very premise, but the problem was that there are so few assets from that time period, and asset creation has never been my strong suit. But then, I thought back to the adaptation I'd been working on.

Some of the strongest writing I think I've ever done was in the episodes where the primary storylines were following Gaius's takeover of New York. I think a lot of the themes of the second book came out in those moments. And as cool as it would be, as much as I've fantasized about it, I don't think Bloodbound: The TV Show is ever happening. So it made sense for me to rework that into a visual novel spinoff.

In terms of the actual framing of this story, I spent a lot of time in the Bloodbound tags in the early days of working on my adaptation. I was deep in those tags. And it's really interesting to see what people expected it to be before its release. Part of it was the assumption of a Clan sorting system. Obviously, that wasn't actually the case.

Additionally, I think a lot of people were frustrated by the fact that Bloodbound's MC isn't really given the option to just. Be bad. Which then makes moments like this super jarring:

So, I decided to put everything I'd learned together. I was working on the GUI/character creation features for Nightbound (side note, the GUI in this game isn't an absolutely perfect replication of the Choices GUI yet and won't be for the demo, but we're getting there), I had a ton of edits I'd made that I wasn't using for anything, and I had a story that I knew could be reworked into an arc about a new vampire in New York City during Gaius's coup.

But with this project in general, it's less about a demand for a sequel/midquel/spinoff within the fandom and more like. I noticed that there were some things people wanted out of Bloodbound and didn't get, and trying to give it to them, because I wanted those things too, and I felt like I had the means to create that. When I've talked to IRL friends about this project (non of whom play Choices), I've just been like "yeah it's a visual novel fanfic" because...it's a visual novel fanfic.

So. That's why.

(This was super long (and felt a little self centered, sorry!), but if you read all of that, I hope it all made sense. All of this is to say that this has been a labor of love for a book series I've been living with for a year and a half, and I want to get part of what I've done with it out of my head. I hope you all like it.)

[purposefully-lost]

Jack,

School is starting again soon. Its crazy to think that the whole summer is over already. I went on that camping trip I told you about. It was only for a night, because Steph and Claire weren't really interested in making it any longer and our parents agreed we shouldn't be out by ourselves for so long anyway. I don't know, I think we'd have been fine for another night. The day we went home, there was this rain storm in the late afternoon, and I'm sure the woods would've looked real nice in the aftermath of it. You know, when the sky is kind of gray, but everything else is a little more vibrant?

I did still get some cool pictures though! I'm sending a couple to you. I flipped over this log at our campsite and found it crawling with beetles and stuff- I think the colors in the picture look so bright. I don't think I've identified everything that was under there, yet. I was hoping maybe you could.

I hope you're doing okay. The talk about you seems to have died down around here since school ended. Which is kind of a good thing, people were being really mean, but I don't know, it kind of makes me miss you, too. I don't want you to get left behind, or something. I'm a little worried about getting back into school, but I'll let you know how it goes.

Your friend,

Chris.

-----

Jack,

You'll never believe who I got as a chemistry teacher. It's Miller. He's still over the swim team, too, but it's a lot smaller than it was last year. I can see why you stuck with it if he was your coach, though, I really like him. He's been really lax about when we turn things in, which has been really nice. I know we're only a couple of months in, but I've been having trouble keeping up. They just keep piling more on top of us.

I actually spoke to him about you. I got pulled back after class because of a stupid fight- I'll tell you the details later- and you just kind of came up. He says he hasn't heard from or about you, either. Which I didn't really expect, but he did seem curious about how you were doing. He still seems sort of shocked about everything that happened.

I'm sending you a few more pictures. I haven't gotten back out to the trails, yet, but I've been taking a lot of walks past the park after school, and I've snapped a few photos of the birds there. My favorite is of the bluejay. Give it a look.

Oh! Do you remember that book I told you about, The Left Hand of Darkness? The author has this fantasy series, too. It starts with A Wizard of Earthsea. If you can, I think you should check it out. It makes me think a lot of you. I guess it's kind of more of a kid's book, but I still really like it.

I hope things haven't been too bad. I'll write again soon.

Your friend,

Chris.

-------

To whom it concerns,

Hi. My name is Christine Prescott, and I'm a junior at Greendale High School. I've addressed this to Jennifer Stanton, who I believe is a case worker for Jonathan Stone, but honestly, all that matters is that this reaches someone who knows him. It's very important. Jonathan was arrested almost eight months ago and, as I understand it, now resides in the city juvenile detention center. I've been trying to write him since then, but I don't know if he's been receiving my letters. I need you to tell me that he has. And if he hasn't, I need to know why.

I understand that his case and his trial were highly publicized and that, as a result, reaching him might be difficult. But he is my friend. I don't even really care if he writes back, I'm sure he's having a rough time, but I want to know that he at least knows that I've been trying to reach him.

Thank you for your time. Please write back. I have also provided a phone number.

Christine Prescott

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

March 2024 Reading Wrap Up

The Calendar

Another incredible reading month and I'm so glad I managed to keep my streak this time despite still recovering from illness. It's been a scifi packed month and I absolutely will do my best to fix that next month. I'm one of those people who want to do their best to diversify their TBR. I'd also dub this the Aftermath month as I decided to reread Aftermath to prep for reading Life Debt. And despite the still obvious flaws im so grateful I decided to give Chuck Wending a second chance.

The biggest excitement of this month is that I'm proud to announce that after three agonising months I finally finished Black Spire. When I re-read it in the future I can absolutely assure you that the read will be shorter. I don't know what happened it just took absolutely ages to read. It was a fairly decent novel and I adored the themes of Rebellion and Resistance. I just wish the other characters were fleshed out more as Vi and Archex are the only ones that are. 10th of March was the best day ever as I was just so glad to be finally rid of this side read as I have a whole block of other side reads I wanted to get too.

The High Republic comics are an absolute delight and I definitely want to get more of them in the future but they're still not my focus. The High Republic Adventures Vol.1 was incredible, I borrowed it off my brother and was really excited to read it and it was incredible. Lula and Zeen are an absolute power couple. The story telling was super enriching and fun. I definitely want to get my hands on Vol.2 sometime as I've also weirdly already read Vol.2. After I've read Fallen Star I definitely will need to re-read Vol. 3. I'm not suprised it took five days as that's normally how long comics usually take for me.

And then to finish off my side reads I managed to miraculously finish Vol.5 of the Animal Crossing New Horizons Manga. Vol.5 was really good and I loved how it incoperated the final 2.0 update and the dlc. Especially since Dark seems to be my reading mood preference I always love to incoperate a few lighthearted reads in there to save my shattered heart cos lord I need it, need it massively. This series is awesome and i'm happy it's gone on to have nine volumes but im definitely only sticking to eight of them thank you.

Then we have of course the Doctor Who Big Finish audio dramas. I'm very close to the end of The Eighth Doctor Adventures Series 1 now and have really enjoyed the series. It's gotten me deeply into Big Finish. Phobos and No More Lies were very fun and easy listens. I think unless it's a box set I'm definitely gonna be able to listen to single Big Finish stories in one day as you can tell by the calendar.

March has been fun but I really wish I'd read more than scifi and I hope April will be the chance to improve upon that.

March Stats

I'm using all my stats and log templates from LEEBEE_READS from now on as their all beautiful especially this flowery March theme. I've also got the hang of using it better so it looks neater. So here's a breakdown of all my stats for March from left to right.

I "read" 6 books in total this month. Four physical books and two big finish audio dramas. I didn't expect to read as much as I did in February due to missing my support group and getting another FNAF book off my friend but I shouldn't have been as I still have a lot of side reads I need to get through. Pages was good too as I didn't think I'd reach 1000 pages but I did. This March I read 1047 pages only 47 more than March 2023. I don't care about beating records but I still find that quite the achievement. For listening it went as well, I managed to listen to 2.43 hours. A number that will go up as I listen to the longer audios. We'll see what April brings but I'm very proud of myself.

Genre was very scifi this month. The only none scifi book I read was the Animal Crossing Manga which just cracks me up. Scifi is an amazing genre and I've love all the scifi stories I've listened too and read but I feel like it doesn't hurt now and then to go outside of the box. After hopefully getting to Brotherhood I have 3 none Star Wars books to help break this spell which should hopefully balance out the stats. So my genre's ended up being very simple with only Scifi, Fantasy, Video Games, Manga and Graphic Novel. 5 Scifi listens and reads is just mind blowing its definitely helped me understand and figure out what my favourite genre indeed is. With what I have planned for April I'm very curious how my genres will look.

Mainly reads like I said last time is budging as I'm into very adventurous books that are dark and also have mystery. I also still adore 300-499 page books and that's never gonna change but we'll see.

March was a very interesting month for moods as last year I only logged three moods but this year I've managed to log eight moods. Through out my reads and listens I've managed to pick up the moods, Adventurous, Tense, Mysterious, Lighthearted, Hopefully, Funny, Dark and Challenging which is in my opinion the most impressive streak of moods so far. Adventurous is always gonna take the top spot but im really happy at how balanced this chart is. I read a pretty Dark Comic in terms of The High Republic Adventures Vol.1 and then balanced it out with Vol.5 of The Animal Crossing manga series. People may want to read all dark reading month but I still think it's super important to balance things out with lighthearted stuff as Dark books are dark for a reason as they can be super heavy. Really curious about how April's stats will turnout.

Finally the Star Ratings which shocked me as for the first time ever I remembered quarter star ratings existed and rated too reads/listens 4.25 stars. In the future I'm definitely gonna try remember quarter star ratings and be more critical about how I rate books. I had two 4 star rated reads one being a re-read, two 4.25 star reads/listens as both were good but had flaws which meant it didn't quite deserve 4.5 or 5 stars and one 5 star read. That resulted in and average rating of 4.33 stars. Which is the same average rating I got a year ago. Haven't got an average rating below 4 yet but we'll see what happens.

Overall a very good month for stats I'm very intrigued to see what April shall bring.

Reads/Listens

Looking at this lineup is hilarious and amusing for me because you can tell the Animal Crossing Manga is the odd one of the group. It's giving and Peggy 🤣. I'm still proud of the lineup but I'm disbelief at how much sci-fi I've consumed.

Phobos and No More Lies were really good listens I'm super impressed at how talented the Big Finish team are. The Eighth Doctor Adventures Series 1 was definitely the best place to start as from Blood Of The Daleks it's only gotten better. I enjoyed both stories due to how experimental they were. No More Lies hit me right in the feels once the explanation for the timeloop was revealed and Phobos gobsmacked me at how dark it got. Judging on my journey I think I might enjoy the stories with orginal villians more.

I deserve a medal for how long it took me to read Black Spire I'm absolutely gobsmacked that it took me 42 days to finish this book especially since some of the chapters were short. Sure I took breaks so I could read my main reads and recover from being ill and it sending me into a reading slump. I did enjoy this book for the most part it was just a drag to get through. I'd still recommend it as it's themes are really deep and relevant for today. I loved the characters of Vi and Archex and definitely want to get my hands on the Phasma Audiobook so I can understand the story better. Good birthday present.

Oh the High Republic is my comfort franchise and I love it. I never planned on picking up the comics but when an opportunity presents yourself you take it. Very much enjoyed this volume and loved the themes of found family. Considering Zeen is queer it was very purposefully metaphorical that her friend betrayed her and disowned her after she had to out herself as a force user to save people. I also think it fleshes out the Nihil recruitment process and shows how easy it is to turn to the wrong people. I hope in the future I can get to reading Vol.2 but I'll definitely be re-reading Vol.3 of the High Republic Adventures that's for sure. Vol.1 was a delightful read and hit me right in the feels its well deserving of 5 stars.

Aftermath after mistakingly picking up the book as my first Star Wars read I was absolutely done with this novel. I knew I'd have to continue the Trilogy as a completionist but I was absolutely done with Aftermath as far as I was concerned. Having completely forgotten the events of the book though I knew it would be best to Reread Aftermath before I dug my teeth into Life Debt so I did and it helped a lot. Reading alongside Marc Thompsons narration on audio gave the book so much of the life it needed. It was a much more pleasant experience on Reread. I thought I'd hate it even more but the rating did not change. Infact it got me in the mood for reading Life Debt. Glad I gave Chuck Wending a second chance and I hope Empires End is even better than this book.

Finally Animal Crossing. One of my favourite video games and I think this manga series has not only faithfully adapted what made New Horizons charming but also actually added personality and life into the npcs and villagers. Vol.5 was a welcome suprise as I didn't think they'd add the 2.0 update and dlc into the series but its a very nice and welcome suprise. This manga series is just a nice breath of fresh air and I can't wait to get my hands on Vol. 6, Vol.7 and Vol.8. I seriously haven't enjoyed an entry in the series this much since Vol.2. Rumba does a wonderful job.

Conclusion

After the end of February's reading took a down turn I'm proud I managed to pick myself back up again. March was very interesting and I'm glad even if mainly Sci-fi that I managed to read and listen to a good bunch of stuff. I'm very optimistic for April and think it'll be just as good. I do know that the Calendar is for sure gonna be interesting.

If you want to see my full reviews for the audios and books featured in this post you can find me on The Storygraph and Goodreads.

Goodreads: Melody Soundy

Storygraph: melsage1823

Well this has been March's reading wrap up until next time...

-Melody-

They/Them

[scarletpath]

I've decided because I can't draw nor do I own a drawing tablet, I'm just going to write about my Tav Zyn in short stories. It honestly would be a shame to forget what my ideas would be, plus it helps me flesh out their character.

This is just a sweet little story of Halsin being the supportive dad of the group.

Small Changes

It felt like a perfect day. It was warm, with just the perfect amount of breeze. After the past rough days, they were finally graced with a peaceful respite. Although there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, Zyn preferred to lay in the shade. He gazed up at the leaves above as they gently rustled. The movement caused both shadows and light to dance around him. His arms folded behind his head as his mind remained quiet. It had been a while since he was able to enjoy the peace.  

“I half expected you to be in your tent during your rest.” 

Zyn turned his head to look over at the large Wood Elf coming over. Halsin sat down next to the Drow, leaving a comfortable enough space between them. 

“No, it’s nice out here. The shade is comfortable.” 

Halsin hummed and nodded his head.  

“You seemed to be lost in thought. Is everything alright? You’ve been rather quiet the past couple of days.” 

Zyn stared back at the leaves. Searching his thoughts on the matter. Perhaps he had been a bit melancholic of late. Though, he was used to it. It was an all too familiar feeling for him in the past years. He never thought it would raise any concerns from anyone. 

Seeing the other pause in thought, Halsin spoke up again. 

“Perhaps there is something you need to talk about. You and Astarion are similar in a way. The both of you seem to distance yourselves when something is bothering you.” 

Zyn sighed at the other’s observation. Maybe Halsin was right. With all the trouble with the Absolute and the True Souls, he was feeling rather overwhelmed. It was an uncomfortable yet familiar, hapless feeling. Zyn sat himself up, leaning back a bit with his hands.  

“I... I’m just worried. We’ve been traveling and fighting so much; it just feels like an uphill battle. We can’t afford to lose.” He just stares off with a sad look in his eyes.  

“Ah. I understand all too well, Zyn. It can feel overwhelming at times. But remember, we’re all in this together. We’re much stronger together. I know we can get through this.” 

Zyn sharply turned his head towards the other. His eyebrows furrowed with frustration. 

“It’s not just about winning. It’s about this damn parasite too! Nothing we did helped. I don’t want to turn into one of those things.” Zyn pauses. The frustration turned into worry as he lifted his knees and hugged them. 

“I don’t want my mind to be lost to the Illithid. I lived most of my life not being a person. I haven’t even found myself yet.” His mind went back to his dark memories. The strict and twisted Lolth Priestess he had served. To only be loyal with no mind of his own. Completely unaware of the world around him. To never explore his own wants and desires.  

“This is my only life Halsin. And I already lost just over the first hundred years of it. I’ve only known the surface for eight years and I still don’t know who I want to be.” Zyn thought back to one of the books he looked over thoroughly when he first got to the surface. About the Gods and Elves and their right to reincarnation. 

“As a Drow, I don’t get another life. To have my memories and my wisdom to help my next life. This is my only one.” He pressed his cheek into his knees, and he hugged his legs tighter. He looked hollow inside, but the look of his eyes showed he was scared. Not that he would ever admit it. The Assassin turned Bard, looked vulnerable and lost.  

Halsin reached over and placed his hand on Zyn’s back. It felt warm and firm. 

“You’re still young, Zyn. I know the world hasn’t been kind to you.” He gave Zyn’s back a comforting rub. “Change happens all the time to us. You might not think it, but you have changed a bit already. I’m sure it’s safe to say that you’re a different person than you were ten years ago?” 

Zyn was silent for a moment, and he thought about it. He then nodded his head. 

Halsin gave him a warm smile and ruffled his Zyn’s hair. 

“See, Zyn. You’re already on your path. And you don’t have to worry. You’re not going to face this alone. You’re among friends now.” There was a warmth and tenderness in his voice. Something Zyn lacked hearing often in his life.  

“I’m proud of you, you know. You’ve been very brave.” 

A strained sound came from Zyn. He felt tears well up in his eyes. An awkward laugh left him. 

“Ugg.. Heh, why am I crying?” There was a smile on his lips as he rubbed his eyes. 

“I believe those are called happy tears.” Halsin mused. 

“Gods, that’s so stupid.” Zyn chuckled, sniffing slightly as he dried his face. 

“Thank you, Halsin.” 

[viscountessevie]

Benophie anon here (the first one!) Thank you so much for responding to my ask, it was part rant, part setting the record straight on how benophies were initially feeling after the s3 announcement. Also re: trivias response to my ask: I totally understand why you may not like the book, imo it's probably the worst written book out of the series as a whole, if irc it's also the shortest book in the series, and is at least a 100 pages shorter than rmb, which might explain the pacing (the book has like 7 scenes total) It's also pretty obvious jq just wanted to get the Ben's story out of the way and move on to polin already. I checked the publishing dates for the series and there is only 7 months between tvwlm and aofag, all the other books are a year apart!! So it was definitely rushed. I think the reason I like the story so much is because it has the potential to be phenomenal. Forbidden love, the inter class pairing and yes even the no 5 shenanigans. These tropes and ideas just do it for me. Their story has the potential to be great and I will forever hate jq for not having the skill or patience to deliver on that potential. As for the workplace harassment complaints: idk man let me enjoy my fantasy book in peace✌ . That's the beauty of having eight books in this series! There's something for everyone. The show has a golden opportunity to take what is the foundation for a great story and make some excellent television out of it. I do think that the the reason they skipped over ben is the cinderella aspect of the story, you must remember how much backlash that trope was getting a year ago, the producers probably got scared and pushed the season which is... fair ig? I just hope they don't feel the need to overcorrect the book, the cinderella trope is only like the first 5 chapters anyway and then its a straight forward forbidden lovers trope. The masquerade episode could be one of the best episodes on the show if done properly. Again: the ingredients for the perfect cake are there, The producers just have to follow the instructions and not add any weird shit in there. Sorry for the long reply lol, but you did ask us to write you and essay. (Also I might add on to this essay in a couple hours, I'm definitely forgetting some stuff)

Previous Ask by Benophie Anon

[Part 2 of this ask is below when I answer it!]

Hii bestie, I know this ask has been sitting in my drafts for a while but I'm briefly back to clear out my old asks :)

Thank you for the essay - I really do love reading them and it's just very nice to know that yall are willing to read mine and give the same energy back 😍 I truly have some of the best anons/mutuals/followers ever so thank you yall!

I'm always here to let yall vent and set the record straight - as I always say this blog is a safe space for anyone who wants to make this a safe space and isn't a bigot. I've also sent along your reply to Triv. I had a good chuckle at "Idk man let me enjoy my fantasy book in peace" you're so valid. Do let me know if you do end up reading The Millionaire Marquess since it's similar to Benophie - maybe it's the book that hits the potential of what you're talking abt with AOFAG!

Also hearing about how short the book is and the publication dates,,, JQ REALLY fucked over Benophie for Book!Polin huh that really sucks and I'm sorry to Benophies out there (well the valid ones, the homophobic and racist weirdos can get out of here).

I definitely understand your frustration with books not hitting the potential you see in them. I had that with a book I reviewed recently, Unladylike Lessons In Love (yes I am indeed showering you with all the HR recs because everyone deserves to read outside JQ)

Don't let the execs and higher ups off the hook, anon cos it's NOT fair that they completely messed up the order of the books. Not to mention how they butchered TVWLM. I don't think these people even care abour elevating the books - they just slapped the series name on it for the in built fanbase which ofc the racist part of that fandom got weeded out REAL QUICK after Regé's casting. Now they're using the characters of colour as props to switch out every season to draw in their POC audience. Well they can't do that with the cracker season so good luck to them.

I'm the same - I only enjoyed AOFAG BECAUSE of Luke T! I don't think I would have been as forgiving of Ben's privileged and lowkey creepy ass in the book if I had read the book first or if Ben was played by anyone else less charming.

I think they aged him down for the ignorance and navieté show version! Also to go with the Marina storyline. He needed to be young and dumb to be tricked by her I guess. Tbh your guess is as good as mine cos this show makes so many questionable choices.

Now at the heels of QC, S3 has a LOT stacked against it. But I don't think the execs or forerunners are gonna even bother trying to redeem her 🤡 so good luck getting the audience to root for her. They're just gonna She's All That it and call it a day tbh. It's going to be bland af and I won't be tuning in. I really am over Bton the show tbh. I'm only still discussing these things cos my blog is so tied to it and my friends are still in it lol. But as you and everyone who follows can see, I have been slowly moving away and expanding my tastes.

To end off, again thanks so much for all your asks! I really do hope S4 is Benophie and they do it justice! For you and my Benophie friends ❤

[braceletofteeth]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @kissporsche 💕💕 which made me really happy because a few months ago they initiated a conversation with me and I was too much of an introvert to keep it going, so I had thought then that I had lost my chance at friendship forever 🥲

Three Ships

The (un)holy trinity: Hannigram (from Hannibal), Jongmoon (from Strangers From Hell) and VegasPete (from KinnPorsche).

First Ever Ship

It's hard to pinpoint the exact pair... Hmm... I'll tell you about the first one I remember being obsessed about, as in reading all the fics available about them-obsessed. I was eleven? Twelve? Anyway. That would be Cato and Clove, from The Hunger Games. They were not canon in the book (or the movie! They were done SO dirty in the movie!!! I CAN'T EVEN FIND A GIF OF THEM TOGETHER TO INCLUDE HERE 😤), there were just one (or two?) moments that could be interpreted like that, if you had a wild imagination 😅 Fortunately, at that time, me, and a bunch of other kids who enjoyed the tragedy of it all, read too much into it.

So, while everyone else was discussing the love triangle of the main characters or shipping themselves with Finnick Odair, we were in a dark corner crying and throwing up because of two kids who were raised to become killing machines���the star-crossed lovers from District 2, as we liked to call them.

Last Song

Keep Asking Me, by Francis Well. It has a feeling similar to Little House On The Hill, so I think of them as sisters.

Last Movie

Cherry Magic: The Movie. I had already forgotten the gifsets I had seen about it, months ago, so everything was a surprise.

[spoiler alert] My favorites scenes were the ones of Adachi and Kurosawa meeting each other's families, even though it seemed like my heart was going to jump out of my chest in both occasions 😀

Currently Reading

Making my way through the PrapaiSky tag on AO3 (meaning I'm reading literally anything and everything that sounds slightly interesting).

Currently Watching

1. GAP. I haven't watched the most recent episode yet, but it seems we're reaching the climax of the story. I'm already dreading the moment I'll have to let go of all my girls (+ Mon's step-father) :(

2. Star & Sky Series. I've finished Star in My Mind, and I'll start Sky in Your Heart (which is the part two? the spin-off?) soon (allegedly. Never trust a 'soon' coming from me).

3. TharnType. Only a few more episodes to go. Absolutely bonkers show.

4. Summer Strike. The healing type that I had been saving for when I needed it most.

5. Beyond Evil. I had been saying for a long time that I was going to rewatch BE, but never got around to do it (16 episodes! Who has the time!!). My brother was browsing Netflix looking for something for us to watch together, and suggested BE. I thought he was joking (he has already rewatched it 5 or 6 times by himself 🙃), so I agreed, also joking. Turns out, he wasn't joking 😀😀 So now we're watching it again (*in my first time, I watched it with him as well). It's been a really different experience, watching it from the perspective of someone who knows what they should be paying attention to (I wish I had forgotten the details so I could enjoy the unpredictable mystery again, but it seems I still remember most of it 😅) .

Currently Consuming

Crackers.

Currently Craving

Eight (or more) hours of sleep. No waking up because of freezing temperatures, bad dreams, or the men working on a new floor for my neighbour's house in the early hours of the morning.

... I haven't had one of those in a while 😞

Tagging

Since it's people I'd like to get to know better, I'll tag the blogs I started following more recently: @saturnskyline @leporschespam @ronandhermy @teakrush @stillqueerstillhere (it's absolutely okay to ignore this, though 😊✌)

**If there aren't 9 it's because I'm bad at math.

[dogmomwrites]

15 Questions, OC Edition

This tag came from @saltysupercomputer, so thank you!! I'm gonna pass it on with soft tags to @i-can-even-burn-salad, @on-noon, @menagerie-of-monsters, and @writting-in-blood, as well as keeping it an open tag for anyone who wants to share a little about their OCs!

This tag is for Old Tom from my fantasy series

Are you named after anyone? A folk hero of legend, yes. There are many stories about my namesake—too many to list here—but I've always worn our shared name with pride. The nickname is somewhat newer; I've traveled often, ever since I was old enough to weather the harsh winter outside our mountains on my own, and I quickly accumulated enough stories to leave the elders waiting their turn. A lighthearted comment was made about me being old despite my youth. At least, I hope it was lighthearted. I've never taken it with offense, as I remember being a small kit enraptured by the stories our elders would tell

When was the last time you cried? It has been a little while, now that I think about it. About eight moons, give or take a day or two

Do you have kids? Yes, I do! I'm the proudest father of seven beautiful children. Yes, seven is a rather large number, but it's very common for us cats to have more children than humans. My number is actually below the average

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I use sarcasm when I feel it's called for, which is wholly dependent on my current company

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Forgive me for my simpleness, but I tend to notice their species first and foremost

What’s your eye color? A very pale blue, like ice glazed over the mountainside

Scary movies or happy endings? I'm a fan of most any story, so please don't push for me to pick between the two. They both have their merits

Any special talents? I know every book in my library and can locate whichever someone is looking for no matter how weak their description of it is. I take great pride in that

Where were you born? In the nursery of our mountain home. My littermates and I were born in a cozy nest with our excited yet apprehensive father looking on and on the other side of the door, a horde of uncles, aunts, and cousins waiting to meet us. A new litter is always a cause of excitement and celebration for us

What are your hobbies? Oh, I do keep myself busy. You name it, chances are high that I've tried my paw at it

Have you any pets? When I was a very young kit, I sneaked out of the nursery and found a funny-looking animal swimming in a pool. I was so delighted by its ugliness that I spent hours playing with it, though I didn't dare step any further than the shallows. Imagine my surprise after I was found, brought home, scolded by both worried parents, and then finally told of where I'd been, only to be informed that my new pet was called a fish. And we ate them. It was a day to remember, that's for sure

What sports do you play/have played? As I mentioned before, I've tried my paw at every game I've come across. Not many human games are very cat-friendly, although I've found I can hold my own with a little practice

How tall are you? I stand sixteen inches at the shoulder

Favorite subject in school? Hunting! I always loved when our teachers would take us out into the caves and show us how to stalk, pounce, and track our prey. I was a very dutiful student and would practice my pouncing on my littermates as soon as we returned home from classes!

Dream job? I already have that, I'm pleased to say. I'm the librarian. They call me the wandering librarian, as I'm prone to bouts of wanderlust, but I've trained my assistants well, and the library runs quite well when I'm not there

The empty question template is under this cut!

Are you named after anyone?

When was the last time you cried?

Do you have kids?

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

What’s your eye color?

Scary movies or happy endings?

Any special talents?

Where were you born?

What are your hobbies?

Have you any pets?

What sports do you play/have played?

How tall are you?

Favorite subject in school?

Dream job?

[clarktooncrossing]

HEY THERE PEOPLE OF TODAY AND ROBOTS OF TOMORROW! IT IS I, CLARK!

Girasol Bosewick had always looked up to her older sister, Sarah. And that was before she could transform into a dinosaur. Ever since then, young Gigi has discovered the many benefits of having a big blue beast in the family. For starters, reaching stuff on high shelves no longer presented a problem. Stepladders are overrated when your siblings are nearly eight foot tall! Bullies also became less bothersome. Those who tried to break Girasol's natural optimism were soon met with the prehistoric protector of their town roaring in their face. Plenty of future punks have been 'persuaded' to rethink their life choices. Whenever she wasn't fending off would-be harassers, Saura was playing pretend with her precious younger sibling. Her peers could keep their Polly dolls as far as Girasol cared. Nothing could be cooler than her hermana grande. Even if she herself couldn't turn into a dinosaur, the smaller sibling very much wanted to be like her big sister. Saura, a former trouble maker herself, always had a hard time accepting that anybody would look up to her. Powerful as she was, she was not match for Gigi's cheerful attitude. Besides, it if meant she became a better person, why should such a dream be denied? Thus every weekend the two set aside time to work out. Needless to say, their way of doing so is different from most other families.

HAPPY NATIONAL CARTOONIST DAY, WEIRDOS! Yes, of course that's a real Holiday, Google it. I first discovered it back in High School while flipping through a Peanuts book. Ever since then I've made it my goal to post something new for this Holiday every year. Admittedly some years have been better than others. Back in 2016 and 2017 I actually managed to upload a new cartoon creation every hour. Now these last few years have found only one or two new pictures debuting. Heck, I'm still working on a new Sketch BOOM I meant to show today. Well, at least I have something saved for later. Besides, if nothing else, I can say quantity has been sacrificed for quality. That's certainly the case here! Honestly this is some of my best linework and shading to date. Remember folks, experimenting pays off. Helps that I already had a fun idea going in. A long while ago I stumbled upon a picture of Ruby and Weiss from RWBY dangling off Yang's bulging biceps. Obviously a similar situation could work for Saura, but how? Fast forward to this year when @burningthrucelluloid suggested having Gigi doing pull ups via giant dino arm and the proper inspiration had come! I hope you all enjoy this pic as much as I enjoyed creating it.

MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU!

[languajix]

This month, I'm doing Craft Bingo over at Dreamwidth! I generated myself a bingo card and I've been using the prompts as warmups.

I'm a little nervous about crossposting them here because they're not really polished or picked over for characterization, but to heck with it. I'll share the ones I end up liking a bit.

Bingo Card: Craft Bingo 2024 Prompt: Drawing

Fandom: Batman vs TMNT Wordcount: 787 Summary: Mikey and Raph sign Donnie's cast. Warnings: None

"Mikey, if you don't move your shell, I'm gonna move it for you!"

"Okay, okay, hold on," Michelangelo, leaning over the table upon which Donatello's cast-covered arm was currently splayed, had his tongue stuck out as he concentrated hard on whatever he was drawing. A variety of markers in every color imaginable were scattered haphazardly on the table; some had already rolled off onto the floor.

Donnie didn't seem to notice the mess; he was currently scrunched in a chair with his knees folded up and his toes curling over the seat's edge, typing away on his phone with a single-minded focus, lost in his own little world. Only the slight hint of a frown betrayed whatever he was feeling at the moment.

(Barbara. They'd been back from Gotham for less than a day, and Donnie had barely stopped. I need to get a photo of this project for Barbara, Barbara had some suggestions for our patrol schedule, did you know Barbara installed a real-time sample analyzer in her motorcycle? Jeez, why didn't he just marry her already?)

"Nope, time's up!" Raphael set his hand on Mikey's head and pushed down until only the very top curve of green scales was visible over the rim of his plastron.

"Heeeeeeey," Mikey whined, his voice echoing around the inside of his shell. "I need my eyes to see so I can finish my masterpiece! No one treated the original Michelangelo like this!"

Donnie raised his head and inhaled sharply, sensing an opportunity to infodump like an Irish Setter sensing a bird. "Actually-"

"Quit your whining, Mike, and go get ready for patrol. I just need to sign his cast and then we can get outta here," Raph interjected quickly, tapping Mike's shell firmly with his knuckle a couple of times for emphasis.

"Aww. Fine." Mikey popped his head up and dropped the marker in his hand. It rolled sadly across the table, just barely stopping before it would have tipped over the edge. "But I'm gonna finish as soon as we get back, okay Donnie? So don't go anywhere. This bad boy's gonna be in the MOMA once it comes off."

"Not going anywhere. I hate, hate, hate broken arms," Donnie grumbled at his phone.

As soon as Mikey slid out of the seat, Raph dropped in, grabbing a red marker with the intent to scratch his name across one of the few remaining blank spots. Before he could, though, Donnie raised his gaze from his phone and cut in, a little hesitant, trying and failing to sound casual. Quiet, like he didn't want Mikey overhearing the request and making a stink.

"Hey, I was wondering... could you... draw Mr. Turtle? Only if you want to, I mean."

Mr. Turtle. Raph hadn't thought about that in ages. When they were kids, he'd gone through a phase where he'd wanted to become a comic book artist, and he'd started his own little comic strip with a turtle protagonist. It had been clumsy, pointless and meandering, but his brothers had loved it, eating up every strip. Leo had collected them all in a little crate in his room. Were they still there?

He hadn't drawn much since. He had a lot of other hobbies to take up his time. Turns out living the life of a mutated ninja turtle teenager could keep you pretty busy.

"...Why?"

Donnie shrugged his opposite shoulder. "I don't know, I kinda liked that little guy. I thought he was cute. You used to draw all the time, but I can't think of the last time I saw you doing it."

Raph frowned. "It's been, what, eight years? Pretty sure it's gonna suck."

Donnie flashed him a small smile before his attention settled back on his phone. "Didn't you hear? This thing's going in the MOMA. They'll eat it up."

Heh. Fine. Raph twirled the red marker in his grip, thinking through the shape he was about to draw. "Don't say I didn't warn you, Don, but sure."

Four minutes later, Mike bounced back into the room, all geared up for patrol. He leaned over the table to see Raph finishing up the last strokes on his little turtle doodle.

"Hey!! That's where my rocketship was gonna go!"

Raph turned around in his seat and grabbed Mikey in a headlock, using the marker to quickly swipe a red mustache along Mike's snout, the ink bleeding brown against the green of his scales. "Too bad, I had a request!"

"He did," confirmed Donnie, who was already snapping photos of both his decorated cast and Mikey's new mustache. "I wanted him to do Mr. Turtle. And he did a great job."

Thank you, Don.

"Barbara thinks so, too."

Ughhhhh.

[moonlightperseus]

That's fair that does sound bad, I'm sorry

I read Gideon because it's one of my friends favourite books but I think that's the only example I have. And there's not, no. I always feel like I'm wasting my time for doing certain hobbies that I love, so it's harder to take free time for someone else's hobby, so that makes sense.

I'm just so bad at watching television, I really wanted to watch it once Babs came in but I couldn't ever get through season 2, it's not even a comment on the show it's a comment on my inability to pay attention.

I am VERY glad I did!! I just finished reading hold still on Libby with my library card which is very rewarding because it was a book I'd wanted to buy AND I'm currently listening to the Graceling Audio book so it's definitely paying off. And I don't usually guess plot points due to the whole "head empty" thing. The first book I ever annotated was the Bell Jar and there's just no highlights until the very end (in which I had to physically resist the urge to highlight every single thing to do with Dr. Nolan) so I'm really not you're gal to tell you if anything was shocking. (Granted I did tell my friend I thought a character had bad vibes and I was right and she was impressed, so)

I personally think Harrow would've fucked me over if I had to listen to it. I already go in and out of paying attention to audio books and Harrow was so confusing for the first like 90% I would've been screwed. Audio books are harder for me because I *can't* do anything else- I have three hobbies, reading, writing, and drawing. I can't do two words at once so my only option if I want to listen to an audiobook is draw and especially since I just loan them from the library there's a lot of stress to draw for like 20 hours in two weeks.

I got to 12. I just keep forgetting it's there. You just like,, click too far into the next issue (page 1) and you're like... "well fuck since I've started-"

I saw that when I looked I just didn't know but fair!!!

I might try!! (I might even do a better job since I have the physical comics)

That's fair, I get that/ Hopefully you like year zero then! (when you get to it) I've never been able to complete sudoku, I know how it works I'm just stupid lmao. And that's fair, my laptop fucking sucks, I need to buy a new one before I start school again but God I don't want to pay for it who cares if this one can barely open the internet.

I imagine it was his phone but I didn't ask. He was kind of sketchy. At one point he tried to give me candy and I said I didn't trust him and then his coworker took a piece and asked if it was weed because "it wouldn't be the first time"

I am!! I just went to my local comic-con (very little comic anything- it was very disappointing. 90% of it was anime which was frustrating because we also have a yearly anime convention, but that's not why I'm telling you) I didn't notice a lot of the cosplays (due to the "oh god why am I here this is terrifying" feelings and the need to not get separated from my big brothers) but as I was leaving I DID see (or my brother pointed out to me, more accurately) a VERY good cosplay of Black Canary. I did not ask for a picture because we were leaving and I am shy but I have been thinking about it since lmao. She alone made me want to just like draw Black Canary for the rest of my life.

ok sorry for the delay in response life’s been busy and when i’m not busy w work i’ve been consumed by a rewatch of a silly tv show from like. eight years ago.

i will say s3 of titans (the season babs was in) definitely felt like the lowest point of the show imo. it was too doom and gloom gotham. but seeing an actual disabled person cast as babs was so cool, she was a fantastic babs she just wasn’t given a whole lot and a good chunk of it just felt like she was just there as a love interest for dick which was very frustrating to me :/

yeah i definitely think there are probably some small bits i missed with listening to the locked tomb books but a good audiobook is my favorite thing for a long drive.

i did read year zero and it was fun. loved seeing harley and ivy be gay and do crime. (and ivy beating up the joker!!)

still haven’t started injustice2 however i’ve been bouncing around reading some current dc runs (hawkgirl, powergirl, wonder woman and the amazons attack comic) and some older stuff (i read an old zatanna special because i was in a zatanna mood) i keep telling myself to read injustice2 and then getting distracted 😔

ooh a comic con that’s cool!! i’ve never been to one, i kinda would like to go to one but also they sound so overwhelming so idk if i ever will. maybe if i find someone to go with. LOVE that you saw a black canary cosplay that’s so cool i love that also you SHOULD draw black canary for the rest of your life (maybe just not. only black canary. variety is good!)

sorry that my response is a little short this time my brain is made of spaghetti tonight but i really wanted to respond bc i feel bad that this ask has been sitting in my inbox for several days. hope you are doing well!! (and hopefully i will actually start on injustice2 soon so i can share my thoughts with u!!)