#i've never seen a guy so excited about cheese

[jeennieluv]

these are the four seconds that actually made me fall in love with changmin

[velvetm00light]

Friendsgiving

gif: pinterest dividers: @benkeibear, @mariariley, @haerinism

Chapter Seven of Save Me

Previous Chapters: one, two, three (y/n), three (spencer), four, five, six

Word Count: 1.8k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: After a comforting morning cooking a dish for Penelope's Friendsgiving, you finally make it to her apartment to spend time with all of your favorite people.

Warnings: Mostly just references bad, consuming thoughts but nothing too serious :)

A/N: I'm sorry for not posting in a while! I've been writing my own book and I'm in pre-med so I don't normally have much free time. But, I want to at least post on here every so often! So here's a good one (hopefully) for ya'll. :)

YOU SLIP ON your favorite pair of leggings, fuzzy slippers, and Spencer's comfiest crewneck. He peers up at you from tying his shoes and smiles. "You look better in it than I do."

"Good thing I plan on keeping it." You smile.

As soon as he finishes, you follow him out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. You grab the mac and cheese dish you and Spencer had made earlier this morning. "Do you want me to get that?" He asks you.

"I'm a strong girl," you reply. He rolls his eyes playfully and ushers you out the door.

The car ride is short and sweet, he allows you to play whatever songs you want. His hand is placed on your knee, his thumb rubbing soft circles. He giggles at you as you loudly sing songs Spencer never would have listened to on his own. He even asked you to play one again just so he could sing it with you.

When you arrived at Penelope's apartment complex, he turns off his car and looks at you. "If it gets too much or you start to get stressed, just let me know, okay?"

"Thank you, Spence. I think I'll be fine," you reassure. You truly hadn't given yourself the time to think about what happened to you. You pushed all those feelings aside as soon as you woke up in the hospital and refused to touch them with a 10-foot pole. It helped that Spencer kept you busy, kept you safe. You'll spend the night with all your closest friends and feel relieved. You knew any of them would help you carry your burden if you asked.

He gives your knee a reassuring squeeze and hops out of the car. He rushes over to your side before you have a chance to open the door yourself.

"My lady," he bows as he opens the passenger side door.

You gently climb out of the car, careful of the dish in your arms. "My most loyal knight," you smile, mimicking a curtsy like you've seen on TV.

"Lady's don't curtsy to their knights but I'm not complaining."

"Oh, hush, Mr. Knows It All." You would have swatted at his arm but luckily for him, your arms are full.

You hurry up the stairs to Penelope's apartment. But, once you are standing in front of her door, anxiety starts to bubble inside you. You are excited for the rest of the night, but the beginning is what makes you nervous. You knew the team would either bombard you with "are you okay"'s and other comforting words or they wouldn't mention it but would walk on eggshells around you.

Spencer spins you to look at him. "I've got you. You're safe here."

You take a deep breath and try to give him a reassuring smile. "I know."

Spencer lifts his knuckles to knock on Penelope's dull apartment door as you turn back around, steeling yourself for the next few minutes. He only got in a single rapt on the door before it swung open wide, Penelope's red-painted lips drawing up into a bright smile. "You guys came!" She squealed, grabbing the glassware dish covered in tinfoil from your hands.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," you smile, following Penelope to her kitchen island where all of your coworkers are standing around, nursing wine glasses in their hands. A silence falls upon the room, and you quickly break it unable to stand the palpable sympathy in the room. "I'm alive and I don't plan on being babied the entire rest of my life."

"She has been putting up a fight against it," Spencer laughs. The team joins in chuckling, the tension in the air immediately disappearing. JJ takes you by the shoulders and analyzes your face. "I'm glad you're here," she states as she pulls you into a tight momma bear hug. You swear you heard your ribs cracked as she squeezed you.

Your entire team takes turns hugging you and Spencer. You feign annoyance at being treated with such sympathy, but your heart flutters at the overwhelming love your team as for you.

"Who's ready to eat?" Emily asks brightly and immediately your entire team begins to dig into the multiple dishes placed carefully around Penelope's kitchen island. Your mac and cheese sits next to a stuffed turkey, pasta alla vodka which you would bet a million dollars that Rossi brought, and other deliciously smelling meals.

You don't wait to dig in, the days long starvation you suffered only a few days ago has been a consistent hole in your stomach, forcing your body into survival mode whenever you're around food. The choices are overwhelming and you stand frozen in place with a plate in your hand, unsure where to even begin.

"Here, I'll get some for you," Spencer says gently, taking the plate from your hand and pilling some of everything onto your plate.

"Thank you," you whisper. As soon as he finishes, he carries both plates over to Garcia's living room and you follow closely behind. "It was overwhelming."

"I know, I figured it might be easier if I made the decision for you. I also gave you less than you might want because I didn't want you to feel guilty for not eating everything."

Your eyes widen at his statement and he chuckles lightly. "You're not exactly mysterious, y/n," Spencer smiles.

"No one on this team is mysterious," Emily teased. "Everyone knows things they probably shouldn't even know." Everyone laughed and murmured their agreements.

The rest of the team joins you in the living room and everyone is a blur of talking in between bites and even with food in their mouths. Garcia doesn't even take a bite of her food for a few long minutes because she is too busy asking everyone else what kind of holiday movie they're in the mood for.

She finally settles on a silly hallmark movie and you and your team take turns outrageously guessing what will happen.

"I say she goes to this bakery, meets the guy who works there at the counter, and it turns out they're related somehow," JJ explains.

"No, she definitely goes in there, then she talks about how her parents were murdered on Christmas so she hates the holiday, and turns out he murdered them," Derek says, laughter filling the air.

"I'm glad the actual serial killers around the country decided to unite and stop killing for this one day so we could finally enjoy ourselves," Rossi announced. Everyone's head nodded in agreement.

"I miss it," you express, picking at your food.

"Take your time, y/n. There will always be bad guys," Aaron replies, his gaze softer as he looks at you than it has probably ever been in his life.

"I know, I just..it's hard, you know? I miss you guys," you confess. You decide to keep out the fact that you're afraid to be with your own thoughts or to be alone period. You weren't exactly confident in your abilities to deescalate yourself if it were to come to that.

"We miss you too, but it's important to heal," Penelope says softly and you can't help but smile at her contagious optimism.

"I know, I'm going to be upset though if all the extremely bad guys are caught while I'm gone."

"We'll save them just for you," Aaron responds, lifting his wine glass in the air. "I'll let them know as soon as I get home."

You try to enjoy the rest of the night with your friends, every bad thought that appears in your brain you shove into the dark depths where they can't come back out. You try to remind yourself to be happy that you're alive and back with the people who mean the most to you.

As the hours tick by, glasses of wine are drank and refilled, movies are played right after another ends, and the warmth in your heart grows heavier by the minute. You had always ached for friends like this, for nights spent laughing and joking.

Spencer's arm is stretched across the back of the couch behind you, his hand had been restless the entire night, running circles just below the nape of your neck, running a finger down your shoulder on the opposite side, or twirling pieces of your hair in between his fingers. You're unsure if he even knows he's doing it, but either way, you're grateful for the grounding touch. Without Spencer, you fear your thoughts might suck you into yourself so deep you would never see light again.

You allow yourself to think that maybe his touches have been intentional because somehow, he seems to know you better than you know yourself and knows how much you need his touch.

You and your team finally say your goodbyes as your lips feel leaded and threaten to shut on you with no sign of reopening for at least 12 hours.

"Be easy on yourself," Emily whispers as she embraces you in a hug. "Take this time to start a new hobby or something."

"I'll think about it," you smile. Spencer places his hand on the small of your back as you exit Penelope's apartment. You two are silent on the way Spencer's car. Spencer in his true fashion explains to you that you weren't going to drive anywhere this whole next month. You tried your best to tell him you didn't need a chauffeur and he was already doing enough. Plus, he didn't even like to drive. But your protests fell on deaf ears.

"Shhh..just get in the car," Spencer smiled, opening the passenger door for you.

"If you insist," you reply, sliding into the car.

"Play that one song you put on, something about taste?" Spencer said as he climbed into the driver's side.

"Oh my god, you want me to play Sabrina Carpenter?" You giggle, immediately searching for the song. You press play and turn the volume up to as loud as either of you could handle.

As soon as it began playing, you could hardly contain yourself. You were laughing so hard just listening to Spencer yell the words as dramatically as he could. He had to stop singing a couple of times because he was laughing just as hard as you. "Wait, one more time before we get home!"

"Okay, okay!"

Once you get to his apartment, you both can barely get out words you're still laughing at each other. He opens the door for you and you sigh in relief. As soon as he shuts the door behind you, he pulls you in for a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

You smile up at him. Before you can reply, he places a finger below your chin to bring your lips to his.

TAG LIST: @qatiee @dottirose @thisaintredwine @jay-2s-world @ruziazyn @translatemunson @sky2nd @dysphoricsanity @bunbunbl0gs

[jenniferjareauwife]

Would you maybe write something in the cowgirl au about something about the guy from the bar coming up again in reader’s life and she tries to hide it from JJ but is so upset and can’t?

Officer Davis

pairing: jennifer jareau x cowgirl fem reader

category: hurt/comfort

warnings: rape

word count: 1088

summary: your rapist comes up in your life again and jj comforts you

I flopped down on the hotel bed, happy to visit Texas. JJ was here for a case and I decided to tag along so I could visit my hometown.

I lifted my head off the pillow as my phone rang. I grabbed it from the nightstand and answered the call. "Hey baby." I heard JJ's sweet voice and my heart fluttered.

"Hi."

"I'm gonna go down to the police station. I've heard you might know a few of the guys." I could hear her smile through the phone.

"Tell me their names and I might be able to give you a few pointers."

"We've got...David Stafford."

"I went to high school with him. He's a cool dude. I didn't know he was a police officer now. He's really into football. He's gay though. So you shouldn't get hit on by him"

"Thank God. Trent Porter?"

"No. Never heard of him."

"Ok last guy...Brady Davis?" My heart stopped as my blood went cold. "Y/n?"

"No I uh...I don't know him."

"Ok." I knew she could tell I was lying but didn't want to press. "I'll be back in a few hours. Text me if you need anything, ok? I love you."

"Love you too." I hung up and pulled my knees to my chest, my brain felt loud but quiet at the same time. It was him. From the bar. The guy who raped me. How did he even become a police officer? Someone like him was supposed to be protecting the citizens? How fucked up was the system here?

I had no idea how much time had passed but I had just sat there in bed, alone with my thoughts until the hotel door opened. "Hey babe. I brought back some Panera." She handed me a bowl of mac n cheese, leaning over to kiss my cheek. "Everything ok?" I just nodded, not saying a word. "Do you still wanna go out and walk around?" She took off her coat.

"I just wanna stay here." My voice was quiet and no matter how much I tried to make it stable it still wavered.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I took a big bite of mac n cheese.

"Ok...but you were really excited to walk around since you haven't been here in a few months and now you just want to stay in the hotel room. That isn't like you and I'm concerned." She sat down next to me.

"Well you don't have to be concerned. Can we just go to bed? I'm really tired and I haven't seen you all day and I wanna cuddle and go to sleep."

"Ok. We can do that." She kissed my temple and took my food so she could put it in the fridge. She came back over and laid on her back so I could crawl on top of her. "Good night my love."

"Night night."

I couldn't fall asleep that night, no matter what position I slept in. I had been trying to sleep for 6 hours and it just wasn't working. I thought of him. I thought of him knowing I was here and wanting to talk to me. To torment me. "Baby...why can't you sleep?" JJ yawned and rolled over to face me.

"Hm?"

"You've been tossing and turning all night." She lazily wrapped an arm around me. "Come here. I wanna cuddle." She gently kissed my shoulder before resting her head in the crook of my neck. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"It's clearly not nothing." She kept her voice gentle, tracing soothing patterns on my belly. Her eyes were still shut as she cuddled up against me. "I always know when you're upset. It's like a sixth sense. But I know it's really bad this time. I wanna help you. Can I please help you?"

"I don't...it's not something you should be worried about."

"You're my girlfriend. I'm always gonna worry about you." She kissed my neck tenderly and I could tell she was fighting off sleep. When I stayed silently she picked her head up from my neck and kissed my lips. "You can tell me anything baby."

"It's Officer Davis." I whispered.

"What about him?"

"He was..." I put my hand over my mouth, covering my face. She grabbed my hand gently and brought it to her lips, kissing it softly before kissing my shoulder.

"He was what, baby?"

"That guy. From the bar." My bottom lip trembled but my body relaxed as she scooped me into a big hug. "I thought I would never have to see him again but now I'm in the same town as him."

"Well you don't have to see him my love." She kissed my temple. "We can go back home if you want."

"But you're on a case."

"It's ok. They'll understand if I need to go home." She stroked my hair, holding eye contact with me with so much love in her eyes. "Just say the word and we can go home."

"But I don't wanna tear you away from work."

"Hey...baby that's not what you would be doing, ok? I would much rather go back to DC and make sure you're ok than stay here where you're not ok. You'd do the same thing for me." She pointed out.

"Ok. But I don't wanna leave. I'll stay."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm."

"Ok." She kissed my forehead. "But you have the right to change your mind at any time."

"Thank you." I leaned my forehead against her chest, really wanting a hug. She got the message and wrapped her arms around me.

"Of course." She pulled me into her lap, kissing the side of my face a few times. "Just tell me if you need anything, alright?"

"Mhm." I leaned into her as much as I could, wanting to feel her body against mine.

"I love you so much." She gently grazed her fingertips over my back, wanting to make me feel as comfortable as possible.

"I love you too." I rested my chin on her shoulder and shut my eyes, feeling so tired after all the anxiety. "I wanna sleep."

"Ok baby we can-" She started to move me to lay down but I stopped her.

"No. I wanna stay like this."

"You're like a toddler." JJ laughed, stroking my hair gently. "We can sleep like this if you want."

"Thanks." I tucked my face into her neck, feeling myself start to drift off. "Love you."

"Love you too. Good night."

"Night night."

[missyblogs]

Saw folks doing selfship templates sooo hopping on the bandwagon with these two! unaltered OG can be found here! This expands on the aesthetic version I'm working on for my About Me because I have many Thoughts about these two that I haven't had the spoons to draw for and one tiny little box won't explain why they "both" cook ( the answer is Sporty does it more bc he cooks healthier, but Sophia brings the entire town to the yard on mac n cheese Mondays )

- The relationship not only comes very close to not happening but Sportacus also comes dangerously close to losing a friend for good. He was trying to be respectful, to keep a friendly distance because he wasn't sure Sophia felt the same way and didn't want to assume, but his plan to bite back his feelings for the sake of keeping her close backfired spectacularly when she took this as an implicit sign of rejection Note: he did not ever say no and they did not discuss dating. It was a topic neither of them broached. A + communication here, absolutely stellar /sarcastic - As an ADHDer with poorly treated symptoms, Sophia is unable to mask and is well aware that her heart is glued to her sleeve. She'll never be content with friendship but for at least the first two months she thinks she can pretend, for his sake. She can quietly fall apart when she thinks no one is looking. Cue Stephanie's 3rd try at an appreciation party and the realization that... the artist knows a lot about this guy that most people don't, but she actually can't be in the same room with him anymore. Not for something she helped plan so intricately, not for something made with a love that is eating her alive, not for something about him. If she hears him call her "friend" one more time she will Simply Die - Sophia has been rejected before. Publicly. Multiple Times. She would rather unceremoniously cut people out of her life than set herself up for that again and is fully prepared to do exactly that. - This goes about as well as expected with Sportacus, who is devastated at the thought of the person he adores more than anything else just,, not being in his life anymore... so when she starts avoiding him after the final time that he confirms "you are my friend", he takes it pretty hard - Robbie is LIVING for this... at first. He has no idea what brought on the change but he could have never dreamed that the thorn in his side could become such a soggy wet cat on main and he is soaking up his nemesis's misery, reveling in that delicious humiliation. He doesn't even NEED a Rotten Plan TM - He's not so excited, however, when his best friend stops sleeping, stops laughing, stops singing. She won't eat his cake anymore and he hasn't seen such a dark hopeless look in her eyes in years. She's hurting and he doesn't like THAT one bit - Stephanie to the rescue! She knows exactly what's up and cutely sets the pair up for a talk without telling the town storyteller - This is the first and one of the only times Sportacus sees Sophia angry and he is stunned. He had known something was off but he could never have imagined how he came across to her or how deeply she felt about him or just how much he hurt her without even knowing. - "We are NOT friends. I can't pretend, not when I've loved you my whole life" ( A slight exaggeration considering that she has known him three months, but it gets the point across that she's never been normal about him and suddenly he realizes exactly how bad the both of them have been at communicating. Oops ) - The rest of their relationship goes pretty smoothly up until Robbie connects the dots. Sophia has to get her scissors out again for a different person this time but that may or may not be an infodump for a different template >. > - Realistically she knows that Sportacus is not the type either of her exes were but you get lied to enough you learn not to trust people - He doesn't take it personally. He is pretty horrified when he hears the way she was treated before she moved across the pond though and it convinces him to take a closer look at his policy of trying to befriend people unconditionally. This also convinces him to strengthen his boundaries with the town and start teaching the kids about consent and the importance of ✨ honest conversation ✨ lest they also find themselves shrugging off being poisoned and smiling politely at being pressured into remote controlled shoes... or ghosted by their zing

[littleblueberryartist]

Genshin Neurodivergent Headcanons!

Note: Most of the hcs I have are ADHD related! I know that there's a lot more to neurodivergency than just ADHD, however as someone with ADHD myself I tend to base hcs off on my own experiences and projections lol so if you were wondering this is why

Anyway on with the hcs!

Venti: ADHD

He is. So full of love. He loves deeply and wholeheartedly and cares so damn much be it romantic or platonic attraction (adhd making your feelings feel so big they'll burst right out of your chest)

I think they used to be a lot more emotional back when they first became a god (he's far from stoic and still super expressive now, but he keeps his true emotions under lock and key)

the NB and the Old Mond Gang taught him to love and care and fight for freedom, but they weren't used to the sheer intensity of human emotion (emotional disregulation go brrrr)

holds strong to his ideals and beliefs

the wind is constantly blowing and venti is constantly moving

tons of dopamine from music fr

Coming up with sick rhymes is really mentally stimulating

fast paced brain + 2.6k years worth of experience is how he comes up with new songs and rhymes so fast

Good with words but can get rambly and a bit long winded (not as long winded as ZL tho)

He would do the stimming hand flaps he absolutely would

wing flap stims in archon form too

vocal stims this guy thrills like a bird and makes wind chime noises

hates the texture of cheese specifically but I don't think he says much about the actual taste?? kinda like me with tuna so sensory sensitivity???? (I love cheese tho)

despite being my most brainrotted character I don't have too much in game evidence for ADHD Venti lol it's all vibes

also he's my comfort character so they're just like me fr (and that includes the they/them pronouns)

Yoimiya: ADHD

Easily excited and feels deeply and wholeheartedly (adhd dials feelings up to 100 and that includes the positive ones)

She talks a lot, runs on sentences and sometimes doesn't even realise that she's doing it, changes topics a ton

talkativeness is a way that adhd can manifest and it's one of the ways it shows up in me

her vibes and how she talks reminded me a lot of myself and I got attached (she's just like me fr)

hyperfixates on fireworks don't @ me

Man I sure am lucky I hyperfixated on my family business and never stopped

the colourful lights of the fireworks are a visual stim for her

vocal stims and echolalia

the latter happens a lot when she's hanging around kids bc I do it with little sister

She runs all over the place and is just generally super active and lively (see: her dashing around in the genshin lantern rite promotional vid)

Albedo: ADHD + Autism

only puts in effort and excels in shit that interests him

hyperfixates on art and alchemy he's my inattentive adhd bestie

absolutely twice exceptional (gifted + neurodivergent)

this entire link: https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/mehjk5/hypothesis_albedo_has_adhd_inattentive_type/

He doesn't exhibit many outwardly hyperactive traits but his mind is constantly going

I've seen the Autistic Albedo hc much more than I've seen the ADHD one and I agree with both. Co-morbid king

He likes Dragonspine bc the snow absorbs sound and helps with overstimulation

Sucrose: ADHD + Anxiety

lost her friends before. I'm a bit luckier in this aspect I think, but a lot of adhd peeps have a hard time making and keeping friends

Past rejections have affected how she views herself and her relationships

RSD from both the anxiety and ADHD god help her

This sense of guilt for bothering people just by talking to them even though she knows logically that that's not how it works (aqua your projection is showing-)

Particularly prone to overstimulation by noise because of her enhanced hearing

ND to ND communication with Albedo (and honestly Timaeus too)

Alchemy hyperfixation. Specifically bioalchemy and sweet flower modifications

either way she's the genshin ver of my biology special interest so I want to be friends

Hutao: ADHD (This hc was absorbed over from a friend bc I don't actually know her lore that well)

Whismy!!! Sillay gal!!!

she pulled a me when she was younger and decided "Oh I'm weird? Well guess what I think it's cool so now I will be cringe and free"

would rather die than be bored (me too)

loves pranking and poking reactions out of ppl

Some ADHD ppl like to start drama for the thrill/stimulation

This entire chunk of her character story 1

A lot of ppl with ADHD study or read better while moving around or standing

Doing handstands can also be her way of making things more interesting or challenging (gamification to get rid of boredom)

She's very whimsy as a character but takes her job as a funeral director very seriously

Man I sure am lucky I hyperfixated on my family business and never stopped

Kazuha: some flavour of nd but also ???

very in tune with the environment and good with slight sounds and smells

adhd brain taking in all the sudden random changes maybe???? nature is his interest so it catches his eye and keeps his focus perhaps???? idk the adhd "hey look at that bug" meme

particular about how his food is made even tho he may not always get that luxury with his life as a wanderer, food/sensory sensitivities?????

yeah not too sure on this one but putting here anyway bc I like him

[notallwonder]

good news. I finally fell asleep waiting for the ep to drop. and then I woke up again! so now imma do this.

Spoilers, etc. for CME 17x06. 🥰

I watched this episode at 4am. But it's 11:30 am now and I've already seen it two more times. 🥳

- oh I don't like this. Dream sequence for sure, right. Luke! No no no no

- EMILY. oh you motherfuckers. oh my god. wow even when they killed her the first time they didn't make me watch her die like THIS. FUCK ME. Erica Messer I will never forgive you!!! 😈

- (wish I could retire the small part of my brain that resents that this scene happens in service of Rossi's pain.)

- Haunting lil echo over the title card. 😈

- Rossi losing it does make a great case for promoting someone else as (acting) UC........like JJ. C'mon now.

- oh look!!! JJ and GARCIA. I know they had a couple scenes (one?) in s16 but it always warms my heart to have them together. Just like ye olden times. Kind of. The vibe is off? Maybe the way it's shot? They're not even looking at each other much? I am nitpicking now.

- "you're an angel of helping" - truer words about Jennifer Jareau etc etc. she is an angel.

- "put on your awkward pants." I giggled! the delivery

- "I do talk about it...with Emily." 😭

- (but also dude, retire and go hang out with your grandson for fucks sake. let yourself heal)

- UH oh here we are. omg. Look, I have not put on the clown shoes bc I know better. But I am excited they have a scene, together. CHEETOS (cheese puffs) CAMEO. what is going on

- "you see that movie...idiot city...wait...idiot city?" oh I'm cackling already LMAO. Yeah. I enjoyed that.

- and now we are low-key setting up Luke & Teresa? "I have a thing for army guys" okay miss ma'am ����

- Rossi, buddy. You don't have time to NOT do therapy. I wonder if this is where Mrs Ex Gideon comes in? Is she gonna be the trauma counselor? Hm.

- @ Luke's face when Garcia pairs them off to go thru Tyler's history to figure out who's been stalking Teresa: I can just hear the tiny voice yelling in his brain "put on your awkward pants!"

- I'm digging this whole thing with JJ & Emily. We finally get a sort of glimpse at the fabled girls nights. But I'm struggling with the logic a bit here. Emily being pushed to her limit, "crossing a line she's never crossed before" with Voit. Apparently ready to give up in some way. Reminiscent of that scene when Barnes puts her on leave and all of a sudden she's packing her apartment. I guess the discomfort of that, for me, is that seems like a core distinction between pre-Doyle-exile Emily and later seasons defanged Emily. I always struggled to reconcile these two Emilies. Also - nitpicking - Emily "Vonnegut enthusiast" (Elizabeth) Prentiss has never bothered to read Catcher in the Rye? hm. It's been One Million Years since I read Catcher but I imagine it could have resonated with Emily a bit vis-a-vis Matthew.

- maybe the common thread is that Emily leaves. When things get hairy, emotionally or otherwise, Emily dips. Is that the thru line? It is, according to several brilliant fic writers. And it does make sense, in terms of her upbringing/formative years. It made sense after Doyle that she needed a new context. I guess any reminder of s12-15 Prentiss just gives me the willies?

- LMAO fuck of course the cheese puffs were not just an Easter egg.

- not JJ getting "why are the walls closing in" high, cut to Dave getting PTSD halluci-squished in the elevator. 🤣 They just keep torturing that old man

- every time we cut to the "Stoneward Penitentiary" exterior my brain only sees "Squidward Penitentiary" lol

- OH SHIT. THAT'S where she comes in!!!! Jill Gideon started Gold Star???!!! fml

- I keep saying it... I'm finding this season quite enjoyable fr. Even though I don't care about Tyler a whole lot, he fits in to the team better and the effort Luke is making with him is nice to see. The Brian Garrity / conspiracy theory angle is working for me as a mystery. I don't care much about Gold Star but I've never been here for the crime. And I am enjoying Voit insofar as I like the frame of him as a twisted little boy foil to Rossi. I just like Zach Gilford.

- also I like how each narrative opportunity for JJ and Emily to have a confrontation has not been a blow up/angsty mess. I like an angsty mess too! But it's a testament to their years of friendship and professional trust, all they've been through and the ways they've been through it *together*, that JJ is handling it like this.

- god I continue to love JJ more and more. For me, she is a stronger character without Will in the picture. And I don't mean that Will is some kind of bad part of her story. He's just better as background noise. Their chemistry has never been fully convincing for me, and I'm not sure precisely why that is. But this season? JJ is incredible, and I'm not distracted from that by her husband. It's so nice!

- [some stuff with Tyler happened here I guess]

- oh my goodness! 🥹🥹🥹 THIS SCENE 🥹🥹🥹 JJ laying it ALL out. I'm so happy. This is so emotionally satisfying!! This is so much better than the parallel scene with Emily & Spencer in season 13 (that scene is a mess). You know it's funny how the arc of JJ & Emily's relationship was shaped by the fucked behavior of the network in firing AJ & Paget. I mean, they absolutely had chemistry and vibes and moments in the early seasons, but the nuts & bolts of who they are to each other now are so tied up in how the actors (and show) were wronged and came through that. Wish it need not have happened, but I find something sweet about the results. Maybe just that the emotional weight of it is genuine. Idk it's 4:30am as I write this.

- something I will never fucking tire of: the way JJ says "Emily"

- "I didn't quit on you, in Paris. You didn't quit on me, after my miscarriage." god damn. I gasped. And the way Emily reacts! This is such good food! I appreciate it so much. This feels like a long awaited antidote to the subtextual emotional constipation between these two. ALSO - as far as I can recall it's just been fanon that JJ shared about her miscarriage with Emily, and now it's confirmed. That's a really nice detail, as is the level of intimacy that suggests.

- AJ COOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- JJ you are never beating the "lowkey-in-(unrequited?)-love-with-emily-prentiss" allegations

- I am fully ready to exchange "grab your keys, let's fuckin' roll" for "wheels up". That's Prentiss, baby.

- lmao and they have to uber hahahaahaaaaa (but woulda been fun to have Tara pick them up lol!)

- I think the only thing about their scenes together that I maybe wish was different is when JJ does confront Emily about BAUgate, we're given no discussion of how JJ is doing. She is handling it, even before the edibles she's more sure of herself / less visibly traumatized this episode. But no real check in yet.

- Still. This episode was a fucking gift. More than I thought we would ever get. Beautiful ❤️

- oh and Garcia was Emily's safe haven for her little bender, and was keeping her whereabouts a secret (from JJ at least). Probably partly bc this is essentially a bottle episode and they didn't lay out cash for a new location for Emily's home. But I like the implications.

Final thoughts:

- shoutout to JJ for the belt buckle representation in this important Jemily moment

- I did get some Drunk History Paget vibes from high Prentiss but that didn't bother me. Didn't feel out of character. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- also shoutout to AJ's "crisp white" line delivery 😂

- JJ & Will get high together sometimes, for sure

- Everytime someone refers to the FBI director as Madison I can't help but picture like, a gossip girl

- I'm so sleepy... time for sweet dreams...

[mythologyfolklore]

Liù'ěr Míhóu joins the jttw gang, or: How to redeem an all-hearing celestial monkey with a superiority complex and a seriously bad attitude

(A/N: Tw: misgendering, chronic pain, mention of torture)

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Pilgrims agree to aid the Golden Light Monastery

.

“In all twelve hours, you must not forget,

to reap the fruits of night and day.

For five years, one hundred and eighty thousand rounds.

Let the spirit water never run dry,

nor let the fire's light cause you distress …”

Sūn Wùkōng had no idea, why Liù'ěr Míhóu had just started singing out of the blue.

Not that he was complaining; the white monkey certainly could sing. It was just kinda surprising, as Liù'ěr Míhóu had never ever done it in their presence before.

Now he was warbling away, seemingly without a care in the world, and the other pilgrims were listening just as intently as the Monkey King was.

“… There's no harm, where fire and water blend well;

Five Phases would join, as if enchained.

Yin and yang at peace raise you up the cloudy tower.

Ride the phoenix to reach the Heavens!

Mount the crane to head for Yingzhou~”¹

“Your singing is beautiful, Wùhuàn”, Tripitaka praised the macaque.

Liù'ěr Míhóu paused and blinked. “Oh. Thanks. I don't even remember the last time I've sung. Or made up my own lyrics to a tune I know.”

“Ohh, you rhyme songs and poems?”, the monk exclaimed, beaming from ear to ear.

(Wùkōng could have sworn, that his master was glowing with the sheer excitement radiating off him.)

Damn. When was the last time Master was this happy?

Tripitaka's joy was contagious though, and Wùkōng found himself smiling as well.

Liù'ěr Míhóu, however, was swaying his head from side to side and looking at the monk strangely.

Then: “You wish to bond over poetry with me, don't you?”

The monk chuckled a bit sheepishly: “I mean, if you want to. If not, you don't have to. It's just that I enjoy poetry myself and … it would be nice to be able to share that with someone. Your brothers aren't really interested.”

The Six-Eared Macaque considered it and eventually decided: “Sure, why not? It might be nice to let others hear my songs once in a while.”

“Wait, is this the first time you're singing in front of someone else?”

“Second time. I sang for Tiě Yū Wūyā² once, but she's a crow demon, so she doesn't have an ear for music.”

“Oh. That … that kind of bites.”

“Yeah, but what can you do. Music is like cake; not everyone likes it.”

Zhū Bājiè gasped: “What kind of barbarian doesn't like cake?!”

Liù'ěr Míhóu just gave him a blank look. “Don't bring barbarians into this; most of those guys actually do like cake. Then again, if we're talking about the nomads from the northern steppes, they also like cheese …”

The whole group collectively shuddered in disgust.

Fucking. Cheese.

How could anyone like that?!³

“But yeah, tastes differ. What can you do.”

Bājiè huffed and started a wordy speech about the stupidity of disliking cake.

Wùkōng just rolled his eyes, while their master chuckled and Bái Lóng Mă let out a snort, that sounded suspiciously like an annoyed groan.

Shā Wùjìng laughed, gave Bājiè a pat on the back and turned to Liù'ěr Míhóu: “Can you sing some more? It was really relaxing.”

The Six-Eared Macaque smiled at the river spirit and began anew.

“Wild chrysanthemums drop their blooms,

tender buds emerge from new plums.

At every village they harvest grains,

everywhere they eat fragrant fare.

The woods shed their leaves and distant hills are seen.

By the brookside frost thickens, cleansing the ravine.

Moved by the winter breeze,

the insects stop their work.

Pure yin now becomes yang.

The month's ruled by Yuanming.

Water virtue's strong.

For peace reigns in bright, clear days.

Earth's aura descends,

Heaven's aura rises,

the Rainbow leaves without a trace.

Ice slowly forms in pools and ponds.

Dangling by the ridges, the wisteria flowers fade.

Absorbing cold, pines and bamboos grow more green~”⁴

As Tripitaka clapped enthusiastically (but quietly, for the sake of Liù'ěr Míhóu's sensitive ears), Sūn Wùkōng couldn't help but feel envy.

He got never such enthusiastic praise from their master, let alone applause.

But the Monkey King kept his mouth shut.

He was being ridiculous.

This was just his master being excited about being able to share a hobby. Who wouldn't get excited about such a thing?

And sure enough, while Liù'ěr Míhóu was clearly trying to look all cool and unfazed, his ears and wagging tail gave away his pleasure at the positive attention.⁵

Wùkōng just sighed and turned his gaze back to the horizon.

As did the monk apparently, because he spied the silhouette of a city in the distance.

And it was Wùkōng he turned to: “Wùkōng, look at those high buildings? You too wonder what place that is?”

Wùkōng squinted. “Hm … well, it's a walled city with a moat, so it's probably the residence of a king.”

“How do you know that?”, questioned Zhū Bājiè. “There are lots of walled cities with high buildings, that aren't home to a ruler. So how would you know, that a king lives here?”

“You mean apart from the huge, luxurious buildings and the abundance of gates?”, the monkey retorted. “Come on! This place has 'royal residence' written all over it!”

“I wonder what this place is called”, said Wùjìng.

Liù'ěr Míhóu hummed: “I've been here before. If I remember correctly, this is the Kingdom of Sacrifices. Last time I was there, they had the loveliest treasure.” A smirk. “Luckily for them, I didn't feel like stealing it.”

Wùkōng chortled: “I totally would've stolen it, if it was shiny enough!”

The other monkey laughed: “Oh, it was shiny alright! But you'll just have to see it! Anyway, since we're already here, why don't we have a look around the city? I think there's a Buddhist monastery, where we can stay.”

Tripitaka nodded. “Good idea. Let's do that!”

Indeed, the city was bustling with life and the market was busy.

Wùkōng might or might not have snagged a fruit here and there.

Fortunately, his master didn't notice.

Unfortunately, the reason his master didn't notice was a group of Buddhist monks begging for food, their wrists in cangues.

This better not be a second Slow-Cart-Kingdom, Wùkōng thought and followed his master's order to ask them what was wrong.

He was mildly surprise, when they didn't even bat an eye at his appearance (then again, they probably had bigger things to worry about), but that confusion was dispelled, when they told him, that he seemed … familiar? Odd. Wùkōng knew for a fact, that he'd never been here. Maybe they were confusing him with his youngest brother?

Either way, he introduced them to his master and brothers and the chained monks took the pilgrims to their own monastery.

The sign above the gate read: Golden Light Monastery, built by imperial command.

Golden Light Monastery, huh? What a pompous name.

Especially, when the group entered in and saw abandoned and neglected buildings.

“That's weird. Last time I was here, this place was prosperous and bustling with life. And that was just a few years ago”, Liù'ěr Míhóu remarked. “Wonder what happened here- whoa, are you okay?!”

Wùkōng turned to see, what the Six-Eared Macaque was freaking out about, only to be met with the sight of his master bawling his eyes out.

Wùjìng tried to soothe the monk by gently rubbing his back, but the latter was inconsolable.

The pilgrims let their guides lead them into the main hall, where they paid hommage to the Buddha, before proceeding to the backyard.

There they found another six monks chained to a pillar, which made Tripitaka cry even harder.

Liù'ěr Míhóu grimaced and covered his ears at the noise.

Well, isn't this place just a barrel of laughs, thought Pilgrim ironically.

Finally they entered the abbey.

Once inside, the local monks kowtowed in front of the group.

What?

Upon seeing their confusion, one of the monks spoke up: “You six look so very different from everyone around here. Are you from the Tang Empire in the east?”

Wùkōng couldn't help but laugh incredulously: “What, do you have the power of precognition without divination?”

“I'm impressed you even know what precognition means!”, quipped Liù'ěr Míhóu.

Wùkōng stuck his tongue at him, before turning back to the monk: “To answer your question, yes, we do come from there. How'd you know?”

The monk smiled wrily and explained to them, that everyone here had had a dream last night, of a group of pilgrims from Tang, who would deliver them from their suffering. And this ragtag group fit the description perfectly.

So that explained that.

Now Tripitaka spoke up: “And what is this place? My youngest disciple called it the Kingdom of Sacrifices, but he wasn't entirely sure.”

He nodded into Liù'ěr Míhóu's direction.

One of the monks took a double take, before asking the Tang Monk: “Holy Father, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but are you sure that's a 'he'???”

Liù'ěr Míhóu snarled, visibly upset.

Before Wùkōng could intervene, however, their master did it instead.

Placing a gentle hand on the white monkey's head, Tripitaka explained: “Don't let his voice and appearance fool you. He is very much male. But a wicked spirit afflicted him with a curse, that left him with this appearance. It makes him very unhappy, so we hope that through our pilgrimage we'll find a way to undo the curse. Thus I must ask you, on my disciple's behalf, to not focus on his physique.”

Wùkōng struggled not to gawk at his master in disbelief.

Had the guy seriously just pulled this sob story out of his ass?!

Impressive!

And the monks of this monastery seemed to buy it, as their whole demeanour became more sympathetic, they apologised and wished the Six-Eared Macaque good luck.

“Thanks”, he mumbled (but his tail and ears were still drooping).

Tripitaka gave him some pets, before returning to the original topic: “So, this place …”

One of the monks shook himself. “Oh yes! Right! Well, this is the Kingdom of Sacrifices, as your disciple told you. It's one of the most important cities around these parts and receives rich tributes from the surrounding territories.”

“You must have a good king and fine officials then.”

Wow, how can Master still be so fucking naïve?!

The local monks seemed to think similarly, since they collectively frowned.

One of them scoffed bitterly: “Hah! If only! They're the exact opposite! Why do you think we're wearing these cangues?!”

“Now, don't be rude”, an older confrater scolded. “It's unbecoming of a Buddhist monk to lash out like that.”

Now Wùkōng inquired: “Okay, but what is going on here? This monastery is called 'Golden Light', but it's the bleakest thing I've seen in a while! Did you do something to anger your king, or-?”

“No! We didn't do anything!”, the middle-aged monk exclaimed. “What actually happened is this …”

As it turned out, this monastery had once been blessed and surrounded by an auspicious aura, that had given it a golden glow – hence the name. But exactly three years ago, during a newmoon in autumn, a blood rain had fallen, this place had lost its chine and the treasure in the tall pagoda had vanished. The officials had convinced the king, that the monks were to blame. So these poor souls had been punished for a crime they hadn't committed.

“It's ridiculous!”, the rude young monk spat. “Why would we steal the treasure? But the king didn't believe us! He didn't even call for an investigation!”

“There used to be three generations of monks here”, the eldest said and a shadow came over his face. “But the oldest among us have succumbed to the torture. We and the ones chained to the pillar outside are the only ones, who survived.”

“That's horrible!”, cried Tripitaka. “Of course we'll do everything we can. But now, may I have a broom? I would like to sweep the pagoda.”

A short, slightly emaciated monk smiled: “Sure. In the meantime, we will cook something for our esteemed guests. We just need to find an axe for one of you to open these cangues …”

“I've got this!”, Wùkōng cried and cracked the locks with magic.

After finishing dinner and taking a bath, Tripitaka decided to offer some incense and a prayer to the Buddha and headed to the pagoda. Accompanied by Wùkōng and Wùhuàn, because the former worried about evil spirits nesting in the defiled pagoda, while the latter needed to busy himself to quiet his loud mind.

Not that Tripitaka was complaining.

He appreciated the help and with his two most powerful disciples around, he'd be safe.

“Wow, this place really needs a cleaning!”, Wùkōng noted, as they entered the pagoda.

“Gross! There is dirt and dust everywhere!”, Wùhuàn groaned.

Tripitaka smiled at them. “Well, we will just have to fix that, don't we?”

The two monkeys agreed and so the trio went to work.

Wùkōng announced he would sweep the second floor and climbed up, leaving the monk with his youngest disciple.

For a while they swept in silence.

Then Wùhuàn cleared his throat: “Hey. Uhh, I just wanted to say … thank you for that earlier. For sticking up for me. I appreciate it.”

Tripitaka smiled: “Of course, anytime.”

“I can't believe you lied to them.”

“I can't believe they bought it.”

They shared a giggle, before going back to companionable silence.

This was nice. Being able to laugh together. Doing something productive together. Being comfortable around each other. Tripitaka couldn't even remember when he had last felt like this, but he was going to enjoy this moment, while it lasted.

Once they were done sweeping the first floor, they climbed upstairs to join Wùkōng on the second floor. Pilgrim was currently busy poking the beams under the roof with his broom, probably trying to get rid of spiderwebs.

Tripitaka bit back a laugh, as he put a hand on his eldest disciple's shoulder and told him to leave it be.

“But spiders are so gross!”, Wùkōng whined. “So many eyes and legs!”

Now the monk laughed: “Maybe, but they're still innocent life forms, who never deliberately harmed anyone. Leave them alone. They won't bother anyone.”

“Fine”, the monkey grumbled and together the three proceeded onto the next floor.

But Tripitaka was beginning to feel the strain the movements put on his back. His spine was hurting, but for now he bit back the pain and continued to work without complaint.

As the three reached the sixth floor, however, the pain became too great to ignore. And then there was a flare of white-hot agony, making him groan and slump against a wall.

The two monkeys dropped their brooms and hurried over.

“Master, what's wrong?”, fretted Wùkōng and looked him over for injuries.

“M-my back”, whimpered the monk.

Wùhuàn frowned. “Maybe you should call it a night. Ask the others to give you some of the blue pills – the blue pills!”, he reiterated. “The ones for your back pain. Not the red ones, those are mine. Just a reminder, since the three dorks can never remember, which is which.”

Tripitaka would have laughed, if he wasn't in so much pain right now.

“And don't worry about the remaining floors, Master. We will do the rest”, said Wùkōng.

The monk sighed, but agreed. So Wùkōng carried him downstairs and into their sleeping quarters for the night, where his remaining three disciples scrambled to give him his painkillers and try to make his bed as comfortable as possible.⁶

.

---

.

1) Did I just yoink this song straight from Anthony C. Yu's revised translation of the novel? Yes. Yes, I did. According to the book it's sung to a tune called "Immortal at the River" and is meant to depict the pilgrims. 2) "Iron-Feathered Crow", my OC for this story. 3) Here's a fun fact: cheese isn't well liked in China. There are several reasons for this, from lactose intolerance over cultural trauma to the fact that cheese is basically fermented milk. 4) This is also from the novel. 5) I couldn't find any information on how macaques actually show joy. 6) In the novel, Tripitaka sweeps ten floors, before his legs and back hurt too much. However, in this fanfic he has a spinal injury, which would make the labour much harder and more straining. So I made it six floors.

[theonethatyaks93]

Where I've Been These Past Few Months

Hello Tumblr. I'm back! You have probably been wondering where I've been these past few months. I mean, no major posts, no re-blogs; I basically went cold turkey. Well, a lot of things happened that kinda drained my energy. I had some hellish friend drama, my family life hasn't been the best, and I just needed to take a posting break from both Tumblr and AO3. I also took a break from the PaTB fandom so I could expand my horizons with other things I'm interested in. But now, for the 30th anniversary of Animaniacs, I'm returning to posting for the fandom until the end of the month. I'm going to be hopefully writing some more PaTB fanfiction (there's an idea in particular that I'm excited about) and my goal is to get ideas that I had planned done (i.e. more essays, ranking lists, other special posts). I also have a few announcements for my followers that are listed below:

After September, this blog will be changed so that all my fandoms can be incorporated. So, this blog will no longer be dedicated to solely Pinky and The Brain. For everyone who came for my essays, I thank you so very much for all your support and appreciation. And I'm hoping you'll stay for all my other hyperfixations. Don't worry! I'm not leaving the Animaniacs community; it's just my blog will include more things I'm interested in. I'm also hoping this will get more people to see my work.

A few ideas I had planned are now cancelled due to lack of interest. Brain Week is the biggest cancellation on my list. I just don't have the time right now and I've lost interest in the idea recently. My fanfiction "When He Loved Me" will also not continue for the time being. I've had so many other ideas for other, much better fanfics, that I haven't have time to work on this one. Some ideas are still ready to go, such as my reviews of the PaTB comics and my ranking of every reboot episode/song. And of course, new essays about certain aspects of PaTB and Animaniacs are in production. Also, I have a new multi-chapter fanfiction currently in planning, so the first chapter will probably be released in the upcoming weeks.

Below are some introductions to a few fandoms I'm planning on exploring (Ps: for some posts I'll make for these fandoms, you don't need to be in the fandom to understand what's going on):

The Owl House is a show that was released in 2020 on Disney Channel. It's famous for it's LGBTQ+ characters and it's insane world building. The magic lore, beautiful animation, and memorable characters have made this show a phenomenon with millions of fans and a dedicated community of people who use this show as a comforting tool. I've been involved with the fandom since 2021, where I fell in love with the show after discovering the LGBTQ+ themes. As someone who recently discovered their sexuality, this show connected with me. I even made some close friends through this show. I'm very excited to start discussing it with all of you, and maybe I can get some people into the show.

The Rock-afire Explosion is an animatronic band dating all the way back to 1980. For people who follow me that are familiar with the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise, you may or may not know that these guys are one of the major inspirations behind the video game. The restaurant the band performed at was called Showbiz Pizza Place. The RAE became staples of many people's childhood (including my mom's) and were beloved icons. Though their rival company Chuck E. Cheese would replace the band, their memory lives on through private collections, and even a few public venues. This is actually the oldest fandom I've been involved in aside from My Little Pony. I've loved this band since 2019 and have been wanting to discuss them for a while. I know many people on Tumblr aren't familiar with the band, but that's my goal. To give my followers something they've never seen before, and might become interested in. Seriously, The Rock-afire Explosion have some great music and are so full of character. I might even make a series reviewing their showtapes along with old Chuck E. Cheese tapes. This show is underrated and I believe that giving you guys some exposure to them might give you a new topic of interest or just something new to learn about.

I also might do some reviews for other shows that I want to watch like She-Ra, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Steven Universe, The Looney Tunes Show, Amphibia, The Ghost and Molly McGee, DuckTales 2017, The Dragon Prince, and more. So, basically, this is becoming a generalized animation review blog on occasion, with my fixations being places at the forefront. I'm hoping these expansion plans help to give me motivation for posting more, and will give my followers a wide variety of content to look forward to.

That's about it for updates to the blog. And yes, I changed my username. Once again, I sincerely apologize for my absence in these past few months. This break was what I needed for my mental health and I feel motivated enough to continue posting. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me, I'm eternally grateful. So, to everyone who views this post, I'm back and more than ready to be active again! I'm excited to engage in fandom things again! See y'all soon! Narf!

[dogmomwrites]

9 People You Want to Know Better tag

I've gotten a couple tags for this over the past month; thanks so much for tagging me, @mercurialsmile, @bardic-tales, and @ls-daydreams! I'm gonna pass it along with soft tags to @writernamedfran, @somealienquill, @junypr-camus, @nightlylaments, @monstrousfreedom, @athena-anna-rose, @jessica-writes22, @jjm-blogspot, and @wildswrites, as well as an open tag if anyone wants to share a little about themselves! I'd tag everyone in this community if that wouldn't be obnoxious lol

There're several questions in this game, so it's all under the cut

Three ships—

Tbh, I don’t often retain ships, so it mostly depends on my current media; like I’ll see a pairing, whether canon or not, and I’ll get behind it. But then when I’m no longer reading/watching that media, I find myself no longer caring for that ship. So…I can probably give you two.

One ship that’s stuck so far is Alec and Magnus (Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters), for somewhat personal reasons. And I’ll be honest with you—I was rooting hard for Leafpool and Crowfeather (Warriors). I can’t think of a third, sorry!

First ever ship—

I have no idea, honestly. Like I said, I’m not very good at shipping things

Last song I listened to—

Castaway Angels by Leprous. This song is so good, you guys. This band is so good. You don’t even know how much I love them

Last movie I watched—

Dinosaur Hotel, which is so bad that the cover features characters who do not even show up in the movie. We like to watch terrible movies with worse graphics sometimes, and often end up having a blast doing so, but that one was just a waste of time. I could rant about it for a while lmao

Currently reading— Death’s Diner by @theglitchywriterboi and about to start a reread of Warriors: The New Prophecy: Midnight by Erin Hunter! 

Currently watching—

Star Trek: Enterprise! I’m very excited to finally be able to share this with my household! We’re watching them all chronologically, so we’ve only just started our marathon. I’ve seen the shows and movies before, and A has seen TNG and the newer streamed shows, but P has seen the reboot movies and that’s it lol

Currently consuming—

Nothing, because I was a dum-dum and left my tea in the fridge 😔

Currently craving—

Zero sugar mountain dew and what I had for lunch today—turkey, chickpeas, and sweet peas with melted cheese in a wheat tortilla. It probably sounds strange but it was really good! I had to share it with my cat and my dogs got half of the cheetos puffs I had as a side lmao I never get a full meal with them around

[pbandjesse]

Goodness gracious I am tired. I stayed at the museum a whole extra hour that I planned. I'm glad I did because I had a really good time but oh my God I'm so excited to go home and take a shower. Today was such a long day and I had so many moving parts and so many places I had to go. I'm so glad it all worked out and I wasn't late for anything. But it was a lot.

A lot of the reason today was good was because I slept pretty well. I remember waking up a little bit to say goodbye to James but I don't know if I ever actually said anything. I was just aware of them. And then I woke up for real at 8:30. I actually woke up a little earlier than I actually needed which was good because it gave me lots of time to get ready and be on the road. My very first place I had to be was to get breakfast. I drove out to McDonald's and then over to the quarry. But because I had left early and I didn't hit any traffic I was there too early. So I looked around and drove around the block a few times. But then when I got there for real I couldn't figure out where to go in. I pulled up the email directions and I was a little confused by them. And I went down a service road by accident. But eventually I found the real place and I saw people from the museum that I recognized.

It was a little funny that I was the youngest person there by 20 years. Every other person besides the people from the museum were senior citizens. And they were all very lovely but I did feel a little out of place. But oh my God was this such a cool tour. It wasn't a tour in the sense that we walked around in many places it was more a lecture. With the most amazing backdrop. I've never seen anything like this before. I've seen quarries but not like this. And to know that this view is in Baltimore and is not accessible is heartbreaking. Because it was so beautiful. You look down into this ravine essentially and there's just this amazing blue water. And it's all rain. It's 80 to 100 ft of rainwater. The quarry itself was a mile long and a half mile wide. And they've been mining limestone and marble there for almost 200 years. And it was just incredible to see and I learned so much. One of the things that the guy who gave the tour said that really stuck with me was how much the world we have wouldn't exist without mining in this way. And it's not mining like coal mining. It's very direct. They work really hard to just be in the parameters of the quarry and even keeping dust out of the air. It sounds like they really try hard to make it as safe as possible. And the two people that worked there that we met were so cool and I really really enjoyed my time there.

And great for me I had bucketed it in 2 hours for this but it only ended up taking about 1 hour and 15 minutes. Which was extra good because during this quarry tour Elizabeth texted me that I needed to make enough cornbread for 110 children. And I'm like when did that happen in our email conversations. So I was a little frustrated. It would all be fine but it was definitely not ideal. Especially because I had made it very clear I had to leave by 2:00. So I'm glad that I was able to have an extra 45 minutes.

I would leave there and really try to show my gratitude to the person who gave our tour. Encouraged him to come to the museum and get a tour with me. And he gave us a goodie bag which included a squish ball shaped like a rock. And then I headed to puhtok.

I ate my sandwich while I drove to camp. And I needed all the energy I could get today. I ended up going to get a grilled cheese sandwich after I was done I can't because I just had to do so much. And it was very warm out today in a way that I was not anticipating when I picked this outfit. I got out there and Elizabeth tells me that I have to make all this cornbread which is fine. I just wish I would have known beforehand because I could have done it at home. But she gives me the huge box and tells me I can make it in the pool house because we have a rental group using the lodge. Fine. Except they don't give me a measuring cup or a mixing bowl or a whisk of any kind so I still had to go to the lodge kitchen and get it. So I get the gator and I drive up to the hacienda and then back to the lodge and then back to the hacienda where I discover that the tray that I had just poured the mixture on doesn't fit in the oven. And I was so upset because I had already wasted almost a full half an hour doing this. I was able to figure out that I could pick up the tin foil I had put on the tray and put it into a catering dish but man was I frustrated when I could not figure out how long it was going to take to cook. So I called Elizabeth and she said that she could come over and babysit it so that I could go set up my Native American program stuff because I just didn't have any more time. It was already 12:30 at this point and almost 1:00 by the time I was actually getting in the gator and heading to the Erie to get all my materials. I did not have a lot of time left.

Thankfully Nick would help me carry everything and load it into the gator and then I went around and dropped everything off. But then my next upset was when I finished and I texted Elizabeth to let her know after bouncing around to all of the different locations including back to the hacienda to check on the cornbread. She tells me that we are not doing anything in the lodge and that everything is moving to the hacienda so all of my dropping off was for nothing. And I was really upset because when I first got there I asked is there anything weird about this field trip I should know about. So she was super apologetic and promised that she would have Nick and Dachelle move everything before tomorrow. And I was just like it's fine. I honestly could have done it myself at that point. I just wouldn't have been able to stop and get food before I had to be with Art with a heart. But she said no to leave and that she would see me in the morning. I cannot wait until I'm the only one in charge of all of the logistics of this program because having this many people have so many bits of information is so frustrating. They're lucky I love camp.

I actually went back to the same place where the McDonald's was and I went to the five guys. I got a grilled cheese sandwich and ate inside and drank water and then I was back on the road to go to the League of people to teach my class. And it would just be so wonderful. We had more people this time and they were super receptive and some of them finished their project from last time and others got to start it. There was a baby named Chandler who was so cute. And I gave her a record so that she could make her own art. And then I asked her mom if I could take her picture and she'd went cheese! All big and it was so sweet. And the conversations I had with everyone were just great. Just a lovely group of people. My assistant, his name was Matt, was running a little late and he came on a bike. And he was really nice too. I wish I would have gotten to talk to him more but he was a little quiet. He was mostly just talking to one or two people and helping refill paints. Which is fine. The hour went too fast. And I ended up leaving there late because we were just having really nice conversations. It feels really good one you can just be connected to another person like that and when it's a whole room of people it feels really nice.

I walk out with Matt and told him about James getting hit by a truck and I told him to be careful while he's biking around the city. And then I headed to my final destination. The museum.

The original plan was to meet with Merrill around 4:15 to start going over some stuff for the curatorial department and the archives. But instead I texted her that all I wanted in the world was a popsicle. And I asked her if she wanted one too. So I made a stop at Royal farms and I got us popsicles. While I was there and waiting for her to tell me what she wanted and check in with Angie if she wanted anything I went in the bathroom to wash my hands and their soaked dispenser was broken and instead they just had a white paper cup filled with liquid soap. It was hilarious to me. And then I got her a water ice and Angie didn't want anything and then I got a SpongeBob popsicle which had perfect eyeballs. And that was just what I needed. Made me feel a lot better.

And tonight was so fun. It started very very slow. Me and Merrill were having great conversations just about our tour and facts and apocryphal stories. And we made a chase for the event but then the event ended up being corporate so they were weird about their logo being on things so we changed it to be something else and then we were just running around and talking and this was a funny event because the guests were coming on boats. I remember doing this last year and it's fun but it's hard to get people to come back into the actual museum. They were supposed to start coming back at 6:30. And we thought that they were done at 8:00. But they were actually done at 8:30 and then Merrill couldn't stay that late. And I volunteered to stay until 8:30 but I ended up staying until almost 9:00 because I was just having a really good time. It took people a really long time to come back but once they did they were excellent and I wish I could have talked to more of them because I was having a blast sharing the history that I know and talking about the museum and just getting to share. It's hard because once I run out of script I don't always know what to talk about with people in the museum. If they're not engaged back. But everyone that I talked to was super nice and it was really good. I had a really good night and honestly a really good day even if it was very stressful having to go to so many places. I'm almost home now. All I want to do is take a shower. And tomorrow I am a camp and then I have to go to the craft store to get things for my commission for Rosia up. And hopefully the group tomorrow is a lot of fun. It's not a normal Native American field trip because I have to lead a program. But I'll be in the art building all day and it's going to be warm and I hope that it's just a lot of fun. I hope you all have a great night. I hope that your days are full of joy. And I hope that you're staying safe. Good night everybody. Until next time.

[cortlandkaard]

How would you describe the Ancients' personalities, in your perspective?

🧦 i'll try to keep this a bit on the simpler side, and not let the other guy bias my answers with its stupid "oughge my wife" bullshit (💖 ehe....)

🧦 vanilla - not as chil and weelacks as you think. a bit of an anxious guy, also knows how to have fun and isn't a total bore (i totally didn't think that before, no sirree). definitely a good listener. cares a lot and makes it obvious. also sometimes kind of stern and overbearing (i see this with creper mostly) but in a loving way

🧦 peepaw - what you see at face value is... not, like, all there is to him i guess???? i feel like thats obvious but i still have to tell myself that sometimes. like, yes he's always grumpy and stern, but he also has depression and ptsd so you're gonna get that from him. he's just kind of like that?(???)?? he also cares a lot, but you don't really get to see that often.. i mean, have you seen how he is with his son nowadays? i swear they're besties (anyhow i'm still scared of him but i've learned i'm at least allowed to be silly when he's around and he won't get pissed at me)

🧦 hollyberry - fun! ive heard a lot about how the hollyberry kingdom does big parties and banquets and stuff. so i can only imagine she's a pretty exciting person. also, she fights dragons and wins. that's badass.

🧦 golden cheese - hype 🔥🔥🔥🔥 See: The Playlist. we're very similar but i feel like she might be crazier than i am (probably not, but there is a chance). there's not as much left to say here but she's also very confident in herself. and she likes to fuck around (never wants to find out, hardly ever does). definitely the easiest to walk up and talk to unprovoked (to me anyways)

🧦 white lily - she's timid. she always has her shoulders hunched and her hands curled in towards herself. also i noticed she tics sometimes? and she's very open about the, uh, voices in her head. so there's definitely some stuff wrong with her left over from when she was The Big Bad Evil Overlord. that's about all i know about her though RIIPP

[mysticdragon3md3]

Seriously.

I loved eating broccoli as a kid, because the florets soaked up all the sauce. My mom let me cut off the more bitter stems and give them to my dad, since they were his favorite part. But i eventually got too lazy for that and started eating the stems myself.

Just expand your cuisine options. There are lots of cultures that have cooked some bitter, healthy veggies for generations, and have centuries of experience in knowing how to make it taste good. Yet so many people only know about steaming, boiling, or slathering veggies in butter or cheese. Or worse, they think the ingredient has to stay plain, because "it's supposed to be 'health food'." No! It's supposed to be food! And taste good too! You can't just steam a vegetable, plain, and expect it to always taste good. Try some stews and stir fries! Anyway, if you develop a taste for healthy ingredients, then you'll automatically eat it more often, and that'll be healthy. And that starts with making it taste good.

Like, I've seen Westerners insist on eating taho/tofu pudding plain because they think It's "diet food". What?!? You're supposed to eat it with caramel sauce! And i know from experience, once you get a taste for it, you need less and less caramel. Though, i think i recently saw taho re-marketed in an American store as "vegan yogurt". And i guess, plain taho is similar to plain yogurt. But just put the caramel sauce on it, you guys. You can candy some ginger in the caramel sauce too.

And I'll never get over the first time i tried broccoli with cheese, just to try how I'd seen/heard everyone else eating it, and it tasted like rubber. Cheese is the American go-to condiment to make everything taste good???? I can't believe I'm American sometimes. But im also Asian, so i know soy sauce is infinitely better for broccoli.

And expand your vegetable options. Broccoli, brustle sprouts, green beans, and spinach get treated like the only green veggies sometimes. Try some chayote, some gai lan, some yam leaves, daikon, kobocha, bamboo shoots, mustard leaves, leeks, etc. And eat more mushrooms, and more types. Same for peas; eat more snow peas. Eat the young versions of veggies. You don't always have to eat the bitter, older versions. Eat the young green beans and the baby bok choy.

And don't shop at those expensive chain grocery stores that make their "international foods section" look fancy. Find an Asian market, where the produce isn't all pretty, but it's still good, and there's a lot of it for cheap. Buy a cheap, fresh, fried fish while you're there. Lots of old countries developed their cuisine under famine and low resources, so there are lots of historically tried and true recipes that use cheap ingredients.

And find out HOW you like your veggies. Not all of them taste best steamed/boiled or sauteed (and everyone has a different preference). Try some eggplant, and don't just roast it. Put it in omelets and stir fries, after roasting. You can't just cook everything in water or chicken stock, and call it a day. Try the tamarind powder or fish stock. Try adding miso or ginger. Try stock made from shrimp shells. Maybe you'll prefer cabbage with tamarind more than soy sauce. I found out i like my cabbage boiled extra soft, with no crunchiness.

Expand your flavor palette, and one day, you'll wake up and realize you're excited to eat bittermelon. And bellpeppers outside of pizza. And avocados as desserts.

[cryptidsurveys]

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024.

How do you feel right now? Drained. I was planning on going to I Heart Mac & Cheese for lunch after the animal shelter because they're doing this thing where they'll give 20% of the cost of your order as a shelter donation, but I could already tell this morning that my energy levels probably wouldn't allow for it, and…yep. I've got a bit of a pre-migraine thing going on and I just want to sit around and do nothing. I'm also just feeling a bit socially burned out, like I need some time to just exist by myself.

Are you sleepy? Yeah.

Have you ever cut yourself? A long time ago.

Who do you dream about most? People at the animal shelter, past friends and partners, my family.

What do you want more than anything right now? For my apartment voucher to come through so I can finally move into my own place. It was supposed to happen around the beginning of June, but I'm not exactly clear as to what happened. Someone somewhere released the vouchers before it was time or they were supposed to go somewhere else or…idk; like I said, I'm not really sure, so I'm just in waiting mode for the moment. It was such a huge lift up and let down, though. Like, I had about two days of feeling super excited about things moving forward, and then…ugh. I feel bad for the guy at the resource center because he had to call like 150 people and tell them, sorry, shit's fvcked. That had to be a terrible time.

Do you have something you want to say, but never could? Nothing serious. That's just social interaction in general for me. With people I know well (such as my dad, my therapist, and to some extent my mom), it's fine. I can talk their ears off. But when it comes to people at the animal shelter, I feel like a bumbling fool.

Where is your favourite place to be? Home, the animal shelter, and out in nature.

What makes you happy? Volunteering, hiking/camping, rainy or snowy weather, the holiday season, eating my favorite foods, listening to an interesting podcast/video, accomplishing things I never thought I could, making art, a good cup of coffee, updating my autumn Tumblr, driving when there's little to no traffic, realizing some things no longer bother me as much as they once did, etc.

Who makes you happy? My mom + dad, best friend, therapist, my favorite cashiers/greeters at the grocery store…oh, and my cats, ofc.

When are you happiest? When I'm around people I love + doing the things I love. When I feel a sense of purpose or belonging. In nature.

What is the funniest thing you have ever done? I have no idea.

What is the funniest movie you have ever seen? Idk.

What candy/drink makes you most hyper? Nothing really makes me hyper.

Do you talk to yourself? Yeah.

Do you have to sing those catchy jingles on TV commercials every time? Sometimes they just get stuck in my head and…yeah. It's either sing or go crazy.

Do you have more than 5 celebrity crushes? I don't have any celebrity crushes.

Do you find joy in making other people mad? No.

Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides ‘Hello’? Maybe sometimes, but I typically just say "hello."

Do you get mad easily? More like annoyed/frustrated, but even that's not as bad as it used to be.

Do you get jealous often? I don't really have anything to be jealous over. Envy, though…I do feel that way from time to time, but I just try to redirect and focus on my own life.

Are there any people that often make you mad? Not mad. Just disappointed. ;D

Do your friends comfort you when you’re angry? No. But I don't go to him when I'm angry. He probably would, though. Or at least try to.

Do you like to cause drama? No. Sometimes there's drama or gossip at the animal shelter and I'm just like…wow, that's wild. I try to refrain from engaging and just offer simple platitudes. I mean, sometimes it does liven things up a little (there is this diehard part of me that lives for the drama, unfortunately), but other times it's just exhausting. Like, I just want to be around nice people and help animals, but as it turns out...it's not that simple. People are people wherever you go!

Where did you go today? Animal shelter.

How late do you usually sleep in? I rarely ever sleep in. Even on my days off, I'm typically up by ~6:00am.

Do you like traveling? No. I like to BE places, and there are definitely destinations I would like to visit, but traveling…yuck.

Are more of your friends girls or guys? I have one guy friend.

What is your favourite song right now? I don't really have a single favorite… One day, I'll compile some sort of list.

What do you want to do right now? Get in bed and listen to YT, but I think I'm going to vacuum the living room/dining room first.

[werehamburglar]

i remember this guy, because i was there for all his fucking orders. get OUT of my store. let the ants carry you away.

in all seriousness, though, i hope he understands that new employees are trained off of portion cards; and portion cards are very strict about how much sauce, cheese, pepperoni, sausage, etc. goes on each pizza. when trained off of them, you do not learn to "cook with your heart," but to operate under company policy. and let's be honest, man, these are teenagers (and a neurotic twenty-something) we're talking sbout. they're not going to risk their jobs to cook from the soul. they're going to do things the way they were trained to initially and stick to it with minor adjustments. people watching the makeline genuinely only makes it harder for everyone, myself included, to work-- and so does trying to guide them and give them pointers.

i don't like complaining about my job or my customers. i had a man come in with his daughter and she had a delightful wooden platypus; and they sat on the bench and waited while i finished up, doing multiplication tables; and i thought that was great. we had a family with the most rambunctious children I've ever seen and, like, yeah, maybe take your kids outside and stop letting them throw gift cards in the pizza sauce, but the sentiment at the heart of who they are is similar to me, and i can appreciate that, and them, and i hope you have a good night. i like your godzilla shirt, here's your cheese pizza; i've never heard anyone aside from my friends reference roundtable pizza before, and im so excited to work on this bacon-chilisauce-pineapple pizza; small world!. i LIKE my job! i do!

but sometimes. god. i hate mean customers more than anything. we're trying our best, man. the kids are tired. im exhausted. and i know you're also exhausted, but you've got to understand that we're trying our absolute best.

god, the reviews for the place i work at are just the worst. "these TEENAGERS didn't know what to do when someone walked off with my pizza and offered to remake it for me instead of offering me FREE FOOD" sir that is a sixteen year old boy, not a customer service representative, he should be doing his math homework "it took THIRTY MINUTES to make a PIZZA" stop ordering from an understaffed restaurant during rush hour you fucking idiot

[buckybleu]

✦ coffee and bagels ✦

pairing: Shang-Chi x fem!reader

summary: You and Shang-Chi are crushing on each other, but won't do anything about it...so Katy steps in.

a/n: I've always written fics/drabbles in my drafts but never really posted them. After watching Shang-Chi, I've been excited to write and possibly post! I'm a bit rusty, but hope you enjoy.

reblog/like/feedback are greatly appreciated! ✨

word count: 928

It wasn't an early start to the day. But with last night’s shenanigans with Katy and Shang-Chi at the karaoke bar, your hangover was not your friend today at work. Groaning, you rub your temples in hopes of reliving the monstrous headaches.

Coffee would be nice right now, maybe a muf—

As if the heavens heard your request, a cup of coffee slid across the reception desk before you could finish your thought. Looking up, Shang-Chi smiles brightly while holding a bagel bag out to you.

“For your hangover, you need it.” Shang-Chi laughs, “Black coffee with a splash of milk and sugar. Bagel with light cream cheese.”

“You remember.” You smile, taking a sip of your coffee. “Oh god, that’s good! I don’t know how I’d last today without a caffeine boost.”

“It’s a ‘sorry for keeping you out so late, but thanks for karaoke’ apology.”

“Well if it means I get a coffee and bagel every time, then I’ll always join you for karaoke.”

You were never one to turn down an invite from Shang-Chi and Katy. They were always a blast to hang out with and great drinking partners. The first time you went out with them was one to remember, mainly because it intensified your crush on Shang-Chi

“Hotel California” lyrics were playing on the screen and Katy and Shang-Chi were singing their hearts out. Katy was very insistent that you hangout out with her and her friend Shang-Chi. You’ve met Katy while working at the hotel and have seen Shang-Chi a few times in the lobby or when passing by valet. Shang-Chi always wore a smile when you saw him, giving a wink here and there. There was no lie in how handsome the man is, and the thought of being in a confined room with him made you nervous.

Alcohol was running through your veins and the nervousness in your bones were long gone. You watched your friends sing, specifically admiring the way the neon light bounced off of Shang-Chi’s face. Shang-Chi suddenly turns to you, grabs your hand, and looks into your eyes while singing the lyrics.

Welcome to the Hotel California

Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)

Such a lovely face

Though you knew it was just him singing, you couldn’t help the feeling that Shang-Chi was singing to you. The sound of your heart beating rapidly ringed in your ear; if you had drank a little more, you’d probably kiss him then and there

“You gotta stop staring at her. Why don’t you just ask her out?” Katy questions, taking a bite of her sandwich.

Shang-Chi stares wildly at Katy as if she had asked him to rob a bank. “What?! Why would I... I can’t...what the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m not blind, you’re always giving her the googly eyes or looking at her like a lovesick puppy. Wait, are you sick, are you in love?” Katy places her hand on Shang-Chi’s forehead, which he quickly pushes off.

“Would you stop that, I’m not in love okay?! Not yet at least” Shang-Chi looks down at his food, mumbling the last part to himself. “Why would a girl like her, be into a guy who parks cars for a living?”

“Because a little birdy told me she also has the hots for you too…” Katy sings.

Shang-Chi lifts his head, trying to process the words his best friend just said.

“God, this is so sad. I’m taking this into my own hands.” Katy gets up from the table, dragging Shang-Chi with her.

“Wait! Where are we going?” Shang-Chi looks around, trying to process his surroundings, before he recognizes they’re in the lobby. “Hold on...wait...How are you this strong!? I can’t ask her out, she’s way out of my leag—.”

Katy shoves Shang-Chi in front of the desk you’re standing behind, both giving you a little wave. You laugh at their antics, curious to why they’re not enjoying their lunch, but in the lobby.

“Hi y/n, quick question. Did you or did you not drunkenly confess to me that you find Shang-Chi incredibly handsome and how his lips are soft and kissable?”

Your eyes go wide at Katy’s question. You had forgotten your drunk confession to Katy that night on the way home. Now bits of your memory come back, remembering how you told her you “wanted to kiss Shang-Chi’s soft lips” and “loved the way his eyes twinkled in the neon lights.”

“And you,” Katy turns to Shang-Chi, finger pointed “Just ask her out already. If I have to watch you stare at her any longer, I’m going to be gray and shriveled.”

You and Shang-Chi stare at each other, not sure what you just heard was true. Words form and fall at the tip of your tongues, unsure of what to do. Katy claps her hand, “Okay, my job is done. You guys can figure the rest out.” She walks back to her lunch, leaving you two alone.

“So uhm..haha” Shang-Chi laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, Katy was just saying...uhm jokin—”

“Do you want to grab coffee tomorrow morning...with me?” you ask.

“Like a date?”

“Uh, I mean..it doesn’t...yes. Like a date.” There was no turning back at this point. Your heart was pounding while you were wringing your hands.

Smiling, Shang-Chi gets a surge of confidence at your nervous state. “As long as you tell more about how handsome you think I am and how ‘soft and kissable my lips’ are.”

[hanemiso]

Operation: Dairy For Dazai

>>>a dazai osamu x reader<<<

request: "omg i love your post about Dazai and his possibility of having lactose intolerance hahaha, i wish you could do a fanfic out from that"

a/n: um this is such a great idea??? this was so much fun to write omg i hope y'all like it! also i know dazai doesn't necessarily drink coffee with milk and sugar/creamer, but for the sake of the story he does! also sorry if the gif looks weird, i couldn't find his weird little run anywhere else.

synopsis: no one has seen dazai drink milk or consume dairy of any kind...it's up to the agency to figure out if dazai is lactose intoleralnt or not!

warnings: one swear word, dazai not being able to handle dairy

"hey atsushi, you ever notice that dazai doesn't consume dairy?"

"what do you mean, y/n?" atsushi asks, glancing up at you from the computer.

"think about it. have you ever seen dazai drink milk? eat cheese? buy ice cream?" you press on, raising your brows.

atsushi takes a second to think before responding with, "now that you mention it, no i haven't...why are you asking anyway?"

"i think dazai is lactose intolerant."

you now have atsushi's full attention as he rolls closer to your desk and furrows his brows. he looks around the room for the brunette you're talking about before turning back to you, "you think so? i don't know...maybe it's like a dietary thing."

you deadpan, "you really think the man who goes out of his way to try new attempts at committing suicide--the one who came into the office with a hallucinogenic mushroom from a random mountain--is concerned with his own nutrition?"

atsushi goes silent and nods his head in agreement.

"come on, atsushi. i mean, why would that be the one thing out of his entire diet that he'd choose to cut out?"

"that's true, i've seen the kinds of things he eats...but why is this something you're interested in?"

"because, atsushi, the thought of THE dazai osamu even having one slight weakness--and the fact that it very well may be dairy, of all things-- is amusing. you don't find it interesting? that he can survive things like bullet wounds and getting kidnapped without any problem, but a glass of milk could completely ruin him?"

atsushi was beginning to take interest in what you were talking about. you had a point, he couldn't deny that. they don't know much about dazai and his life as it is. just as it began clicking in his brain, kunikida walks over to your desk to tell you both to get back to work. at the sound of his footsteps, you turn towards him and before he can say anything at all, you ask him the same question as atsushi. kunikida has a smiliar reaction and response to atsushi, which just adds to the curiosity of dazai's possible dairy problem.

"i don't pay attention to that idiot's diet anyway, nor do i care." he says matter-of-factly.

anyone could tell that kunikida was slightly interested, just by the way he was continuing to linger by your desk as you continued talking about it with atsushi. soon enough, tanizaki had joined the conversation; then ranpo and kenji, and soon everyone in the agency other than fukuzawa. everyone was huddled around your desk, sharing memories of dazai's lack of dairy consumption. it was then decided that this theory of dazai being lactose intolerant would be put to the test when dazai returned to the office.

ranpo had come up with the idea, it wasn't too elaborate but a simple plan that could trick even the likes of dazai into drinking a glass of milk. during the discussion of dazai's dietary habits, it was also brought to everyone's attention by kunikida that it seems dazai doesn't have a high spice tolerance either. with that in mind, the plan was for the agency to have a joint dinner tonight, with curry on the menu tonight; spicy curry to be exact. dazai always flirts with you in the office, so it was your job to distract him by indulging in his pick-up lines and such. once he takes a bite and realizes it's too spicy for him, he'd try to find water to alleviate the pain, but coincidentally there is no water in sight. because of this, he'd be forced to drink the glass of milk you hand him. of course, if this didn't work, for dessert you'd give him a cup of coffee with milk and sugar (he uses non-dairy creamer in his coffee anyway).

you and kyouka set up a table to put the bowls of curry on, while atsushi and kunikida began bringing in the curry. tanizaki, naomi, and ranpo were in charge of getting the desserts to really sell the image of a nice gathering. kenji and yosano were in charge of tinkering with the water pipes to close off any possibility of access to water. this task was treated with such care, as any mission brought into the agency would be. each and every one of you were interested in learning about this side of dazai; are you going the extra mile for such a minuscule detail of someone's life? yes, but will it be amusing to find out the truth? also yes.

soon enough, dazai is spotted out the window. the truth is about to be revealed, and you are all nervous but excited.

"remember guys, act natural! operation: dairy for dazai starts now!" you exclaim quietly.

you can hear everyone take a deep breath and begin "talking" amongst themselves as dazai walks in. he stops in his tracks as he eyes the table holding all the bowls of curry and widens his eyes in surprise.

"oh? what's this?" he asks, gesturing to the table.

"y/n suggested having dinner in the agency tonight, so we got some curry and desserts." atsushi explains.

"have a bowl, dazai-kun." you smile at him as you hand him the bowl of spicy curry.

"ah, you're too nice, my belladonna!" he exclaims and grabs the bowl.

so far so good, you think.

you can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits for dazai to take a bite. the conversations carry on amongst people, but no one was truly paying attention to what was being said. the gazes of each member of the agency shifted to dazai as he raised the spoon up to his mouth. you could hear the sound of everyone in the room holding their breaths, even kunikida was sweating.

once the spoon had been placed in his mouth, everyone froze in place. you and atsushi tried to pretend to not be paying much attention to dazai, but it was so hard not to when all of a sudden he stopped chewing. you both slowly turn your head towards him and see his eyes go wide once again. he hurries to the nearest trashcan and spits out the spoonful, quickly turning and looking for a cup of water on the table.

"w-what's wrong, dazai-san?" atsushi asks, also sweating.

"h-hot! spicy curry! atsushi-kun, i need water! please!" dazai exclaims.

you run to the table and pretend to look for a cup of water before grabbing the glass of milk and hurrying towards dazai.

"sorry dazai-kun, i couldn't find any water, but i heard milk helps with the pain!" you hold out the glass of milk.

it feels like time stops as dazai sits there, breathing shallows breaths in attempts to stop the fire in his mouth, and contemplating whether he wants to try his luck with continuing to gasp for air or drinking the milk. he hates suffering, after all. in his mind, all that matters at this moment is extinguishing the flames dancing on his tongue. he grabs the glass, just as planned, and drinks a couple big gulps. everyone is now turned to him, asking if he's okay.

"i'm...fine." he says between pants.

now it was only a matter of time. the dinner continued as normal, but dazai wasn't as social as usual. he sat down with you and atsushi as you continued to talk about different missions.

"oh yeah, dazai-kun, do you remember--" you turn to look at him but realize he's staring at the ground intently as sweat beads on his face, "dazai?"

he blinks once and tries regaining his composure as he looks up at you with his usual smile, "yes, belladonna?"

"are you feeling alright?" you ask with concern laced in your voice.

"of course i am!" dazai tries to reply cheerily, but his bright tone is cut off by a rumbling in his stomach that makes his face twist.

he tries replacing his expression with a smile again, but it looks more pained as another low rumble emits from his body. at this point, everyone in the office is stealing glances. he looks back at the ground as his eyes widen yet again, and only two words are uttered before he takes off running to the bathroom:

"oh shit."

everyone stares at the door, processing what just happened. it was so silent, the only sound you could hear was dazai's rapid footsteps echoing down the hall.

"i knew it." you smirk a bit to yourself.

but your feeling of victory is brief as the horrid smell invades your nostrils. your poor co-workers get assaulted by the same stench, and you all are forced to evacuate.

operation: dairy for dazai was a success, but at what cost?

------------------------------------------

BONUS: how chuuya found out about dazai's lactose intolerance

chuuya was the only person who knew of dazai's problem with dairy, but the way he found out was purely accidental and scarred him.

the event took place when they were 17, and they were both stopping for a drink at a local cafe after a mission. the mission wasn't too bad, but it was early in the morning and chuuya wanted coffee. dazai told him it would stunt his already lacking growth, so chuuya wasn't in the greatest mood; he never was around dazai.

"i wanna sit down so you can order for me!" dazai claps his hands together.

"hey! i don't wan-" chuuya begins to protest but dazai cuts him off while walking away.

"you know what i like!"

chuuya grumbles in annoyance as he heads to the counter and orders two drinks. in his fit of anger, he accidentally ordered two coffees with milk and sugar, but failed to notice as he brought the cups to the table dazai sat at. he narrows his eyes as he sets the cup down in front of dazai and sits across from him. chuuya stares out the window to try and tune out dazai when he hears dazai ask him something quietly.

"is there...milk in this?"

chuuya scoffs and replies, "what's wrong, can't handle a bit of milk?"

he was obviously joking, but the sound that emits from dazai's body in response makes him realize it was no joke. dazai quickly stands and runs to the bathroom while chuuya sits there in disbelief, but with the hope that the rest of the day won't be ruined because of it.

that was wishful thinking though, as they frequently had to stop at public restrooms on their way home and chuuya had to deal with the rancid odor that followed dazai as closely as his own shadow.

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