#i've never robbed a bank so i don't know.

[livtylerfan96]

if i rob a bank and am wearing beagle puss glasses, do you think my identity would be hidden enough?

depends on if you look different with the beegle puss glasses off! bank robbers wear ski masks or like guy fawkes masks in movies, more face coverage.

[etherealhannie]

( oneshot ) ،، kiss me , you idiot ،، ⌇ 민규

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" are we dating now , or do i still need to bribe you with food to hang out with me ? " .ᐟ 🫙

pairing .ᐟ bestfriend-now-boyfriend!mingyu × fem!reader genre .ᐟ childhood best friends to lovers au , same mess yet lil sweeter word count .ᐟ 1.3k song rec. .ᐟ ─

note .ᐟ witness this , not experiences it . 😞🖐🏻

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Mingyu stood in front of Y/N’s door, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack. He'd been here a thousand times before, so why was his heart racing like a middle schooler about to confess for the first time?

Maybe because, in a way, he was.

Y/N had been his best friend since childhood—the one who used to push him off swings, steal his food, and tease him relentlessly for being taller than everyone else. Their friendship was pure chaos from the start, and that never changed as they grew up. If anything, it only got worse. But somewhere along the line, Mingyu started noticing little things. Like the way his heart beat faster when Y/N laughed at his jokes or the pang of jealousy he felt when she talked about other guys. And the kicker? He realized that he didn’t just love Y/N as a best friend—he was in love with her.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked. Before he could second-guess his entire life, the door flung open, and there she was, grinning mischievously. "Late as usual, Kim Mingyu."

"I’m literally three minutes early!" he protested, stepping inside her apartment. He couldn’t help but smile, though. This was their thing—bantering, teasing, and laughing their way through life. He loved it. And he was about to ruin it all by admitting he liked her.

"You ready for movie night?" Y/N asked, bouncing onto the couch and kicking her feet up. She tossed him the remote like it was a reflex.

"Actually..." Mingyu rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly nervous. "I wanted to talk to you about something first."

Y/N paused, the grin fading just a little. "Uh-oh, serious face. Should I be worried?"

"No, no. Well, maybe? I don't know." Mingyu was making this worse, wasn’t he? He took a deep breath, sitting down beside her. "You know how we've always... had this, uh, thing?"

"What thing?" she teased, clearly not sensing the gravity of the situation.

"This... chaotic, fun thing between us." He waved his hands in the air, trying to find the right words. "But also, I’ve realized it’s not just chaotic and fun for me anymore. It’s more."

Y/N tilted her head, her eyes narrowing in playful confusion. "More like what? Are you saying you want to rob a bank together? Or maybe start a prank war?"

Mingyu huffed, shaking his head with a nervous chuckle. Leave it to Y/N to make even his serious moments feel like a joke. "No, I’m saying..." He inhaled sharply. "I like you, Y/N. Like, really like you. More than just friends."

Silence stretched between them for a moment. Y/N blinked at him, her usual quick-wittedness seemingly gone for the first time in their long friendship.

"Oh," she finally said, breaking the stillness.

Mingyu’s heart sank. "Oh?"

"No, I mean—" Y/N suddenly burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. "You... you were so nervous! You looked like you were about to explode!" She reached over, ruffling his hair like she always did when teasing him.

Mingyu’s mouth dropped open. "Wait. You're... laughing? I just confessed to you!"

Y/N bit her lip, trying to suppress her laughter, but she was failing miserably. "Mingyu, you dork. I know."

"You know?"

"Yeah, you’re not exactly subtle," she said, grinning. "I've noticed for a while now. You think I wouldn’t catch on to the way you blush whenever I tease you? Or how you always seem extra flustered when I call you cute?"

Mingyu felt heat rise to his cheeks. "Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I was waiting for you to figure it out and tell me, obviously," Y/N replied matter-of-factly, still smirking. "Besides, it’s way more fun watching you squirm."

He groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I can't believe this."

"Hey, at least now it's out in the open," Y/N said, pulling his hands away from his face. Her tone softened, and there was a sparkle in her eyes that made Mingyu’s heart flip. "And, for the record, I like you too."

Mingyu’s brain short-circuited. "Wait, what?"

She smiled softly, this time without the teasing edge. "Yeah. I like you, you big idiot. I’ve liked you for a while."

"You could've told me," he said, still trying to process what was happening. His heart was hammering in his chest, a mix of disbelief and joy.

Y/N shrugged. "Where's the fun in that?"

He stared at her for a beat before his lips curled into a grin. "So... what now?"

"Now," Y/N said, sitting back against the couch, "we continue our usual chaos. Except now we get to kiss and be all gross and couple-y too."

Mingyu laughed, the relief washing over him like a tidal wave. "You're the worst, you know that?"

"And you're stuck with me," Y/N replied, poking his side. "Now, come here and let me give you your first official couple smooch."

Before Mingyu could react, Y/N had pulled him in, pressing a quick, playful kiss to his lips. It was so casual, like something they'd done a million times before, but it sent his heart soaring all the same.

"So," he said, pulling back slightly, "does this mean I can kiss you whenever I want now?"

"Within reason," she teased, poking his chest. "Don’t go overboard, Kim Mingyu. We still have a movie to watch."

But Mingyu had other plans. With a mischievous grin, he leaned in again, this time capturing her lips in a deeper kiss. It wasn’t just playful now; it was soft, sweet, and filled with all the feelings he’d been bottling up for months.

When they finally pulled apart, Y/N's cheeks were pink, and she looked slightly flustered—a rare sight. "Okay," she breathed, "maybe you can kiss me a little more than I thought."

Mingyu laughed, his heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. "See? Told you it’s better when we’re a couple."

"Debatable," Y/N shot back, but the smile on her face told him she didn’t really mean it.

Over the next few weeks, their relationship didn’t change much. They still bickered, teased each other relentlessly, and pulled pranks like they always had. The only difference now was the added sweetness—the way Mingyu would wrap his arm around her waist as they walked, or how Y/N would absentmindedly reach for his hand while they were talking. It was chaotic, but it worked. It was them.

One evening, they were at a friend’s housewarming party, and as usual, chaos ensued. Mingyu and Y/N were being their usual loud selves, debating over something trivial—this time, it was about who could make a better spaghetti carbonara.

"I'm telling you, you put way too much garlic in it!" Y/N said, waving her hands around dramatically.

"It’s called flavor, Y/N. Ever heard of it?" Mingyu shot back, rolling his eyes.

Their friends were used to their antics by now, but someone asked, "Do you guys ever fight about anything real? Or is it all just spaghetti and who can prank better?"

Mingyu and Y/N exchanged a glance before bursting out laughing. "We don’t really fight," Y/N said between giggles. "But if we ever did, I’d win. Obviously."

"You wish," Mingyu said, pulling her into a side hug, his voice dripping with playful affection.

"You guys are disgustingly cute," their friend groaned, shaking their head.

"Well, it’s either this or complete chaos," Mingyu replied, grinning down at Y/N. "And trust me, you don’t want the chaos."

Y/N elbowed him in the ribs, laughing as he feigned injury. "Ow, see? She’s violent!"

"Only when necessary," Y/N said with a wink, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

Mingyu beamed, pulling her closer. He never thought falling for his best friend could feel this... right. It was the same chaos, the same playfulness, but now it came with a sweetness that made his heart feel full.

And as long as he had Y/N by his side—whether they were fighting over spaghetti or teasing each other about literally anything—he was more than happy to be caught in the mess.

[catoslvt]

Ben Hargreeves x Reader

I would've married you if you'd stuck around🐙

sorta s4 spoilers? but nobody takes the Marigold and lived their life.

plus I'm changing things because... yeah.

I walk into the birthday party for little Grace, who is one of Diego and Lila's children with her birthday present in my hand. It's just a silly child's keyboard because what the fuck do you get a six year old?

I make my way through the swarm of running and screaming children, the part of me that never grew up hurting because that's the childhood I always wished to have, yknow, running about, screaming my head off with all my friends but no, at the age of six I was learning how to disarm gunmen and learning how to control my powers.

God my life has gotten so much better without them.

Once I'm out the swarm of children, my eyes instantly fall on Sloane, Luther, and Ben, and I feel a slight shiver go down my spine at the sight of ben, I mean it's weird to think he has the face of the boy I used to love when we were like thirteen, but he's not the boy I love, I think anyway, I mean okay I sorta have feelings for this Ben, but I don't want him to think it's because he has the face of my old Ben, its confusing isn't it?

"y/n hi!" Sloane exclaims, waving me over with her hands, and I put on a wide smile as I make my way over to her, setting my present for Grace on the table beside her before she wraps me into a tight hug, which I return with an awkward laugh.

"I heard you're a firefighter now? that's sick." I say, turning to Luther with a smile and he just nods.

"we brought the Umbrella Academy, we're currently renovating it, I'd love for you to come stay some time." He tells me, and I widen my eyes, pretending to be interested as I make small 'oo' noises.

I hate when our family gather together, I mean Luther is married with a child, Diego is married with kids, I don't know what the fuck is going on with Allison, weve hardly spoken since we got to this time line and its not exactly that i dont want to talk to her, i just dont know what id say, Klaus doesn't need love, Five is technically married to a piece of plastic, Ben's just out of prison, Viktor has basically dated every girl in his town and I'm just.. there, I end up feeling extremely left out at the family gatherings when they start talking about issues with their kids or relationship problems because the only relationship problem was the fact Ben died on me.

"How was prison?" I ask ben, my eyes lighting up slightly as I turn to face him, all my attention now on him.

"I can't exactly say I enjoyed it." He tells me, raising a bottle of beer to his lips and taking a sip, and I just know his parole officer is gonna be pissed so I just let out a quiet laugh.

"So where are you staying then? I can't imagine your parole officer would let you live far." I then go onto ask, and he groans slightly, pointing at Luther and Sloane who are now talking to Diego.

"but I'm seriously debating robbing a bank just to get thrown back in." He then adds, looking around and I can't help but laugh a little louder.

"You're staying with them?" I scoff, turning to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"hardly by choice, I just needed a permanent address." He sighs, and I laugh again.

"Fresh out prison, and you're gonna be turned into a painter, electrician, plumber and babysitter. good luck." I tell him and he lets out a small chuckle before taking another drink from his beer.

"How have you been then?" Ben asks, and I shrug slightly.

"I mean, yeah, I've been.. living." I answer with a laugh, and he nods in agreement.

"Why don't we go get you a drink, we can sit at a table at the very back, and you can let it all out." He offers and I rapidly nod.

I sit at the table with Ben, taking a small sip from my beer before clearing my throat.

"I'm a child psychologist now." I tell him, and he nods slightly.

"I mean, it just felt right, yknow? I want to help kids so they don't end up with a childhood that we had. Well, I mean, without the powers, the robotic mom, the alien dad, you get what I mean." I tell him with a small wave of my hand, and he continues to nod, a small smile on his face.

"I get it." He tells me, and we both fall into a comfortable silence before he breaks it right as I take a mouthful of beer.

"don't you miss your powers?"

that question almost makes me spit my beer everywhere, my eyes widening as I stare at him.

"God, no, I don't miss them in this time line Nobody knows who I am, nobody takes a double take or gawks at me waiting to see my powers in use, I can be whatever I want to be in this timeline and I plan on using that to my hearts content." I tell him, and he just looks at me.

"You don't miss them? not even a little bit?" He asks, and I shake my head, which causes him to shrug slightly.

"I miss my powers, I feel.. ordinary without them." He tells me, and I furrow my eyebrows slightly.

"No offence, but I'm glad you don't have your powers. You died because of them in my original timeline, and it's good to see what my ben would've looked like grown up." I tell him, and he gives me a sad smile before we fall quiet yet again.

"and i think it's good to feel ordinary, I spent my whole childhood wanting to be normal to fit in, and now I do." I then add, and he scoffs.

"There's nothing ordinary about us y/n. Apart from the Umbrella Academy and the Sparrow Academy, nobody in the world has gone through even a fraction of what we have, and you've technically went through more than me because the Umbrellas ended the world in 2019, just to then go and do it again back in the 60s, to come back for it to end in 2019 again.." Ben says, and I just scoff, but I can't help but laugh and nod.

"and both times was technically Viktors fault." I argue, and we both smile before Five appears from under a slide somewhere and nods, a bottle of beer in his hand.

"it was Viktors fault both times. Actually, she's not making that up." He tells ben as he makes his way over to our table, dragging a chair along behind him, and ben just raised his eyebrows slightly, clearly pissed off our conversation had been distributed by Five, who still looks like a kid.

"Well, isn't this just a sad table of losers who feel out of place at their nieces birthday party with all the married couples and kids." Five says as he sits his beer down on our table with a large clink.

"I don't feel out of place, I could easily find someone I could marry and have kids with. you couldn't because you look like you're 18." I argue, and five leans back in his seat and crosses his arms slightly, mouthing ben so subtly so that ben can't see.

"Wait, y/n, did you ever even move on after your ben died?" My other Ben asks, and I look at him, my eyes wide as I try to muster an answer.

I try to muster up and answer, but none suitable come to my mind because the truth is I didn't even try to move on, I felt like there was no point, my whole childhood my heart was set on the fact that I'd be marrying Ben, I wanted to at the time despite how young we were and the fact we didn't fully understand the whole concept of marrige and he said he wanted to aswell. when he died I just blamed myself, I thought it was my fault he had died and I convinced myself everyone I love will die because of me, as a sort of reminder that my powers were a curse. obviously, that fact was proven false because my powers are gone. but even now, I'm still cautious to open myself back up to love, but when I'm with this ben, I feel myself slowly opening up again.

"I tried, but nobody stuck around." I lie, and Five shoots me a knowing glare, and Ben just nods, yet another comfortable silence falling over us as I take a large drink from my beer, staring down at my hands before Five starts a conversation with Ben and I can't help but sigh a sigh of relief.

somehow, Luther and Sloane have convinced me to come to theirs to stay the night.

"I think it'll have beneficial effects on releasing your childhood trauma y/n." Luther tells me as I sit in the back of his car, ben at the other side as sloane sits in the front and stares out the window.

"I'm the child psychologist Luther. You just stick to putting out fires." I state, crossing my arms slightly as I stare out the car window, watching the world go by the single frame of glass, trying to hide my smile as I hear Ben laugh at my comment.

"Do you ever sit and look at people and just laugh to yourself because you've saved their asses from the end of the world three times now?" I ask to Luther mainly due to the fact the Sparrow Academy have only had to save the world once, which ended up in all but two of them dying and he just shrugs as he continues to drive.

"Imagine how Viktor feels, knowing he almost killed them twice." Ben says, and that causes me to laugh, slapping a hand over my mouth as I try to stop it.

"That's nasty! the first time wasn't fully his fault. He just discovered his powers and didn't know how to stop them." I tell him, leaning over to gently slap his arm, but I'm still laughing.

"Plus, it's also semi Luther fault for locking him in this weird, safe thing." I add, and Luther groans, muttering something under his breath, leaving me to smile proudly.

"Let's just sit in silence till we get home." Luther suggests, and nobody says a single word to protest and I guess it would be sorta rude if I did seeing as I'm staying at his house tonight.

I sit in my old room, looking around at how empty it is because the Umbrella Academy doesn't exist in this timeline, meaning this room is just a room where I just so happened to share all of my good childhood memories, or atleast the handful I can call good.

"Why would you actually agree to come back here?" Ben asks with a laugh as he stands at the doorframe, staring down at me with questioning eyes.

"I think it's actually partly to do with what Luther said, I think it's good for myself to come see the place and realise that everything that happened back in my time line is just memories now, I dont know I guess I'm trying to give myself some closure." I answer with a shrug as ben walks further into the room, now sitting beside me on the bed.

"What were we like? in your timeline anyway?" ben asks, and I feel my heart stop for a second as I look at him for a brief moment.

"Really young but you -" I cut myself off. Is it wrong to address this ben as my Ben? because it is the same person, but it's not at the same time.

"we understood each other, he- *you* were one of the only people at the Umbrella Academy who showed me love despite our age. if we were doing paired work, we'd always be together, at meals we'd always pass notes, during training we always went easy on each other, during missions we always had a close eye on each other, we'd always spend time in my room. yeah, we were really young, but we still loved each other." I tell him, and he just looks at me, a sad smile on his face.

"we were convinced we were gonna get married, and in all honesty, I would've married you if you stuck around." I then add, looking away as I get an unbearable feeling of sadness.

"I would've married you if you came to the Sparrow Academy timeline earlier." Ben tells me, and I almost choke on my spit as I look at him, my eyes wide.

"What?" I ask, shaking my head slightly.

"I felt myself changing slightly the minute I looked at you when our academies met, but I was too.." He trails off trying to find the words.

"stuck up? full of yourself?" I begin listing and he rolls his eyes but he smiles slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, I was too stuck up to actually allow myself to change for you, and also, I was too scared because I know im nothing like your ben so I didn't want to cause a disappointment as though you lost him again." Ben admits, and I just stare at him.

"Ben, you are my ben." I state, my eyes not leaving his face, not even when his eyes light up slightly, not even when he turns to look at me.

"I didn't want to tell you in case you thought I'm just using you because of what happened with Umbrella Ben, but I promise you that is not the case. You are my ben." I then add, and I see his eyes softening as a small smile appears on the edge of his lips.

"so it's safe to say we like each other then?" He asks after a moment of us just staring at each other.

"I guess so." I jokingly groan, but I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a hug, just savouring the feeling of ben in my arms, my ben as one of his arms wrap around my waist, the other one coming up to reach into my hair, pressing the back of my head closer into him.

"I can't believe you went to prison, you asshole! I was gonna tell you I had feelings for you once we all settled into the new timeline, and then you went to prison."I scoff, and he pulls away from the embrace slightly and looks at me.

"You could've always written a letter or something." He tells me, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I would've been better using a carrier pigeon. No chance was I gonna have a prison pen pal." I scoff, rolling my eyes, but I did write, and then I wrote again, and again, and guess what? I wrote again.

"I did write to you, over and over again, I just never had the courage to send them, because imagine you got one of the letters, wrote back but it didn't send to me?" I ask, a shiver going down my spine at the thought of never knowing if he felt the same way.

"Well, I would've rewrote the same letter every day and sent it to you until you got it." Ben says, a slight hint of promise in his words, and with that, I press a kiss to his lips, and he instantly returns it, his hand on my waist tightening, gently pushing my head closer to his as he depends the kiss and we continue in our kissing embrace got a few moments, before we hear a:

"When I said coming here would help to release your childhood trauma, I didn't mean by doing.. this." Luther says, and I just pull away laughing.

[19burstraat]

ketterdam dashboard simulator 2 (electric boogaloo)

(first one here)

❌ urkerchfaveisproblematic follow

Who submitted Kaz Brekker. don't take the piss he's literally wanted every other Wednesday

🍃 squallertales follow

Wait what did Brekker do

🌊 boekcanaling

Girl what DIDN'T he do

🦁 dimelionsofficial follow

Ghezen's Day Piss Up starts TONIGHT at the Kaelish Prince! Come down before four bells and get ten kruge off your first drinks purchase and an extra spin on Makker's Wheel!

👤 dregsofficial

545.06.7.9

🦁 dimelionsofficial follow

HOW DID YOU GET PAST THE FUCKING VPN. FUCK YOU KAZ BREKKER. FUCK YOU SO MUCH. YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME. WE'RE NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING TO YOU. WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE WITH JOBS. TRYING TO GET BY. MOST OF US NEVER EVEN SPOKE TO ROLLINS. THIS IS SO TWISTED. YOUR ACTUALLY WRONG IN THE HEAD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I ACTUALLY CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. I'M SICK.

👤 dregsofficial

*you're

❓lidandstavessuggestions

#234: build mickey's dick smasher between east and west stave

🍷dregsconfessions

So I've been a dregs member for a long time (I'm in my 30s now) and back when I was a new grunt I was especially trolleyed at the Crow Club, and I ended up spilling like half my pint on the head of one of Haskell's feral little runners, yk one of the little kids?? I just kind of mopped him with my sleeve and said sorry and figured that it was the end of it... however it has occurred to me lately that it actually might have been Kaz. Honestly I never could tell the difference between all the kids, and I didn't look properly at him, but now I've been waking up in a cold sweat several times a week thinking about it. Is it time for me to retire from the gang life

#submisson #admin comment: lately all of these have just been ppl embarrassing themselves in front of kaz

🧇 stroopwafels

There's definitely blogs on here that are undercover advertising for the Dregs btw. I accuse that one that thirstposts abt Dirtyhands

🧤 dirtyhandsy follow

:( no I'm a Razorgull actually

🧇 stroopwafels

WHAT???????

🧤 dirtyhandsy follow

I have eyes :/

🧇 stroopwafels

You won't for much longer if your boss finds out omfg

🃏 makkerswheelies follow

you guys are cowards for not wanting to fuck Brekker. Out of my way ghezenboy I'm bout to get it

🃏 makkerswheelies follow

My wallet is Gone

💀 dregsundrained follow

Kaz Brekker isn't violent. Dirtyhands is. Get it right

🏵️ cillasfryup

Gonna rob a bank tomorrow and when the stadwatch come I'm gonna tell them it was my alter ego Countess Boochie Flagrante

🙏🏻 thumbofghezen follow

sooooo sick of seeing people say that the council of tides shouldn't have complete control over kerch shipping. they stop the island from sinking??? every day?? have some respect

⛲ sanktvladimirs

idk about you guys but I'd be popping the BIGGEST bottles if kerch started sinking

🏵️ cillasfryup

me and the girls when kerch starts sinking

🌊 boekcanaling

staff please let me reblog ads please please please please

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

guys you have 24 hours to unfollow sanktvladimirs not only are they impersonating and mocking real etherealki and real saints (they are NOT a member of the second army) they're a dregs member, and I bet they're a fucking ka/nej too

⛲ sanktvladimirs

@ dregsofficial

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

WHO SENT ME AN ANON ASK WITH MY ADDRESS

🍷dregsundrained

guys I was looking at the wiki contributions who the fuck added a jesper fahey page to the dregs wiki... from inside the stadhall???

🥳 pearlhandledrevolvers

you know what. don't even worry about it

liked by dregsofficial

🍃 squallertales follow

the wraith was only seventeen when she started hunting slavers???? she should have been at the club

#DON'T crawl out of the woodwork and say 'oh the crow club-' #the REAL CLUB. for FUN

🎨 dekappelfan follow

🎨 dekappelfan follow

it's so nice to know no one agrees on this

[yinwaryuri]

Jack and Joker: The Bank Scene

Happy Monday my friends, we finally are getting our gay heist show! YinWar truly have outdone themselves with the level of quality they've put into it and I couldn't be more excited or more grateful.

I wanted to break down the scene where Joke robs the bank because, given my experience in banking, it's was scripted very purposefully in favor of suspending our belief. Admittedly, my experience is in the US, and not all financial institutions operate the same, but for safety and security measures they're pretty standard across the board.

I was really appreciative of the disclaimer given ahead of time. It speaks to the research that was done for the sake of how much they could accurately portray the events, and when that seemed impossible and they couldn't let go of the scene, they said fuck it - gay story over realism it is. This break down is certainly not to dig at the writing; it's more to buff my knowledge than anything.

We love you YinWar, thanks for having respect for bank employees. Now let's get to the employees I don't respect, and the non-employee that I do.

For the most part, security officers don't need to do more than greet customers, and if there is any suspicion he shouldn't immediately interrogate someone. He's there for when things get escalated, or if there are any faces he should be looking out for (anyone banned from a branch for any reason), then he can confront them. If Joke had made an attempt at another location and that one tipped off others, then he would have a reason to suspect him.

Joke's mistake here: Being seen. He is so identifiable throughout. The show didn't bother checking any CCTVs, but he makes no attempt to hide from them. Instant jail. Sorry my guy. He also chooses a very unusual method and time of day to strike.

Since the officer did confront him, Joke gives an excuse.

This was a good call. If someone from another location or office, or a third party contracted service is coming, the employees would be notified beforehand of whom they should be and during which times. And even if the person is easily recognizable physically, they will have company identification on them, and if the security measures are extra strict, a form of government ID would also need to be shown.

LOUD WRONG ANSWER BUZZER

So what Joke is going to look for is someone who appears less competent. He looks at the older woman who likely has years under her belt and knows he has no chances there. But the girl to her left....

TARGET ACQUIRED

And she's already in trouble.

Oh hon.

That's never a situation I'd want to be in. Calling customers to inform them that there's been a mistake made on their account is never fun and it often is hard to reach them. There are ways of simply correcting the error and informing the person after it's been done just so they know what to expect when they look at the activity on their statement. Whatever the case, she's new, inexperienced, and having a bad day.

The balls he has to say this. Bestie. Have you ever touched banking software.

He's just getting her out of the way. If she had received any proper training and meant to apply it at all, this would've been a red flag. She is trusting the judgement of the security officer. Joke hasn't introduced himself by name and if he meant to help fix the mistake he wouldn't make her leave. It would be her responsibility and a good training opportunity. Instead, this happens....

She's risking so many things! Security within the immediate premises, security of the bank's information, confidentiality of the customers' information (which is literally their government ID, home address, other contact info, ALL of their accounts and activity). Absolutely a bad move.

GIRRRLLLL. That is on you. I saw her hesitate, but in the end just knew it was bad. At least where I've been, that possibly means fines and/or jail time for her as well, depending on the severity (most likely fines though). This poor girl is gonna have the worst confidence about her ability on the job after learning she helped a guy embezzle money. Where's her story?

Joke sends the security guard away, gets behind the desk with Carbon's ID and is likely planning to simply empty his account and leave. Then who should show up but Jack! (Next time please direct him to wait in a queue, your "manager" is supposedly still fixing your little check blunder, remember?)

And even Joke is nervous for a moment because he definitely didn't want to get the cute bartender involved.

Nevertheless, he humors Jack and listens to the bittersweet story of his childhood and his dream of opening a school. I love Jack, I really hope that he is able to open that school someday too.

So this part of the loan process is called the interview. It's where the employee will get an idea of the customer's needs and see if the bank's service is what they're looking for or if there is any particular offers they can make at this time. It's an important process when dealing in person because it will hopefully help the customer know which steps they can take depending upon approval. It's also where documentation is asked to verify what can be approved.

For the most part, Joke's charisma would be fantastic for a banking career because he seems natural at facilitating a conversation that requires someone to open up about their financial needs. He loses marks for not checking actual information, not filing any copies of the information he has been given, not explaining any details about paying the loan down or how having an account works, not starting the account opening process, and the numbers they talk about are vague so we don't even know how much money is in question here (which is probably a writing choice and I'm fine with it).

Instead Joke pulls a Picard and decides to make it so. And flirts at the same time. There's no signage around the branch to speak of this program and he doesn't go into any details, he simply grabs the stamp and seals their fates together.

I do think it's a sweet little change of mind he has. He was simply going to inconvenience Carbon, but what better way to do it (in his mind) than to give the money to the guy who got snubbed because of him?

The office being truly empty does crack me up. Who is supposed to be there and why are they gone? Also, for a bank, that vault is incredibly small. That is a home safe, that is not for securing the assets of the public. Also, most places have updated their protocol to use two people when opening the vault because having two people present also ensures less opportunity for employee theft.

His ass is not wearing gloves!

And, in a final un-bankerly move, he does not count out even the bundles.

FLIRT

I also love that he goes by Joker, but is constantly pulling a Batman exit on Jack.

I feel bad for knowing that I would have absolutely apprehended this man by asking the simplest questions. But I no longer work in that capacity and couldn't give a fuck! Let him do what he wants!

[ethelschapel]

do you have any idea about the story of willoughby and ethel and logan and can you explain it?

We don't know much about either character, especially Logan as the only real source material we have about him is the song Western Nights. However, I'll start with Willoughby as he's been hailed Ethel's first love. House in Nebraska is about him, the song clearly stating Ethel's extremely strong feelings for him but also outlining his departure or death or whatever happened to him that caused his split from Ethel. There's speculation that he died, that Ethel did something that caused him to leave her. A lot of what we know about Willoughby is purely conjecture, however in one way or another, Ethel and him separated before she met Logan and long before Isaiah.

There's an excerpt from a page of "Diary of a Preacher's Daughter" which Hayden posted herself saying, "As for me personally, I lost Willoughby that night. The only thing I've ever truly loved in this wretched life and I left him curled between the couch and the coffee table when it all got too loud. "Be mean" is what he'd tell me, every time I'd start my shaking. What he didn't tell me is that you can be mean and still be a coward. Some things you have to learn on your own."

You can read the full thing here.

Again, we don't know the full story surrounding Willoughby and probably never will until the book is published but that excerpt could lead us to believe that he died in the tornado. There's also another piece of source material, a fictional magazine called "Thoughts and Prayers for Ethel Cain," available to read here where the question "What about Willoughby Tucker? I know you two seemed pretty close before he moved away, have you kept in contact at all?" is asked. There's another interpretation here that he moved away, that Ethel could've done something to drive him away etc. I have to reiterate though that it's not confirmed what happened to him.

You may have also heard about the "B-sides" which are said to be all about Willoughby. You can find some collected information about them in this Reddit post. Note that although some of these things have been "confirmed" the artistic process is unpredictable and a lot of what's been discussed in asks and lives may not make it to the final project. The B-sides are also probably not coming for a while but Hayden has not scrapped the project as when saying her next project will have nothing to do with Preacher's Daughter she said, "no this doesn't mean b-sides are scrapped."

There's a lot to be revealed about Willoughby Tucker however he is a very important and frequently mentioned character by Hayden and the fandom.

Now, Logan is a different kettle of fish. He is Ethel's second love interest but is abusive, supposedly using Ethel for sex if you were to interpret the lyrics of Western Nights.

There's little known about Logan and he's very rarely mentioned by Hayden so just like with Willoughby, most of his lore is speculation. He is however a criminal, outlined by the line "Breaking in to the ATMs," and Ethel is dragged into the lifestyle alongside him. If it helps you visualise him better, Hayden has said before that Logan is a "hunky daddy." So...do with that what you will!

Either way, the relationship between the two is short-lived as he dies in a police shootout after robbing a bank causing Ethel to go on the run, ruminating on her relationship with Logan and how the abuse is a mirror of her relationship with her family, shown through the song Family Tree.

The most recent piece of lore we have was posted by Hayden on tumblr where she summarises the plot of Preacher's Daughter. See that here.

As I've said, it's not likely that much will be revealed until the book is out. I'm not Hayden and I don't have access to her head so understanding every detail is hard to do. I've tried to give different interpretations, piggy-backing off asks and source material that Hayden has posted herself, because the particulars are unknown and there's lot of contradictory things spread around. Art is meant to be interpreted though so do with this information as you wish.

If you want to do some of your own reading/listening, here's some other sources that could be useful:

. The lore page on Reddit

. Preachers Daughter document

. Thoughts and Prayers Mag

. Alt Press Mag

. The Line Of Best Fit Mag

. Artist Decoded

There's also another document which gives the basic interpretations of the story rather than lyrical analysis.

I hope this was helpful! And I hope I've made it clear that literally most of this needs to be taken with a grain of salt lol.

[potatoqueenpal]

Yall I'm SO SORRY for dipping on you I have no ideas and I'm still fighting to get my avior fic back.

Have filler till I think of more angst

I present to you: Shaw Pack and Mates: Incorrect quotes

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Sweetheart : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Baabe: I personally was created in a lab.

Angel: I just straight up spawned.

Sam: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sam, turning to Baabe: Not a "bruh moment".

Sam, turning to Angel: Not "sadge".

Sam, turning to Sweetheart : And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Asher: Knock, knock.

Baabe: Who's there?

Asher: Boo!

Baabe: Boo who?

Asher: Why are you crying?

Baabe: I'm not crying.

Asher: Hello notcrying, I'm Asher.

Milo: Angel, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Angel: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Milo: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

David: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Milo: I photosynthesize with this.

Sweetheart: I’m this close to falling in love with Milo.

Asher: Your fingertips are touching.

Sweetheart: Exactly.

Asher, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Sweetheart : I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Baabe, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Asher, spraying Sweetheart : You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Sweetheart : Dude, I forgot-

Asher: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Sam: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Asher: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

David, turning to Darlin': How tall are you?

Angel: Sam said its my turn with the brain cell.

Asher: Square up.

Sam: And what do we say when someone refuses your offer?

Sweetheart : Suck it, boomer!

Sam: I don't know who "Boomer" is, but no.

Asher: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

Baabe: I think my guardian angel drinks.

David: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Milo: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Asher: I got distracted halfway through.

Darlin': Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Asher: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Sam: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Asher?

Asher: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Sam: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Asher: Oh, come on, Sam, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Sam:

Asher: …it was a credit union.

Angel: Tell them to eat shit, David.

David: Tell them yourself.

Angel: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

Milo, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Darlin': Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Darlin': Here you go.

Milo:

Darlin':

Baabe: Why am I here?

Angel: Guess what I'm about to get!

David: On my nerves.

Sweetheart : That's a nice arguement, Milo Why don't you back it up with a source?

Milo: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

Sam: Aww, what's your cat's name?

Milo: Aggro.

Sam, yelling to Baabe: TRY AGGRO!

Baabe, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Milo:

Sam: What's your favorite number?

Angel: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Angel*

Angel: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Angel: I've connected the two dots.

David: You didn't connect shit.

Angel: I've connected them.

And now, wholesome (amd flirty) ship incoreect quotes:

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･

David : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Angel: It was autocorrect.

David : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Angel: Yes.

Angel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

David : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Angel: I said within reason, David . How about I murder that guy?

David : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Angel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Angel: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

David : I have a gun on that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Angel: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

David : Nope, there's 26.

Angel: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

David : Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Angel: So give me the D.

Angel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

David : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

David, sweating: Angel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Angel: Finally! You’re proposing!

David: How’d you know?

Angel: David, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Angel: I even picked it up once.

David: I want to kiss you.

Angel, not paying attention: What?

David: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Baabe: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Asher: Wow. They sound stupid.

Baabe: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Asher: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Baabe: I guess you’re right. Hey Asher, I love you.

Asher: See! Just say that!

Baabe: Holy fucking shit.

Asher: If that flies over their head then, sorry Baabe, but they're too dumb for you.

Baabe: Asher.

Baabe: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Asher: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Baabe: Seize the dick.

Asher: We have a problem.

Baabe: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Baabe: I'm trash.

Asher: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Baabe:

Baabe: You smooth motherfucker.

Baabe: And yes it does.

Asher: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Baabe: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Asher: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Baabe: I wrote you a poem.

Asher, already crying: You did?

Milo: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Sweetheart : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: I fell—

Sweetheart : From heaven?

Milo: No, I literally fell—

Sweetheart : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Milo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sweetheart : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Milo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sweetheart : AS ENEMIES?!

Milo:

Milo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sweetheart , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sweetheart , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Sweetheart : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Milo: That's great, Sweetheart . Especially considering the fact we've been together for 6 fucking years.

Sweetheart : I’m in love with you.

Milo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sweetheart : I know.

Milo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Sweetheart: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Milo: What- how?

Sweetheart: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Milo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Sweetheart is? Because Sweetheart is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Sam: The stars are so beautiful...

Darlin': They're just giant balls of gas.

Sam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Darlin': And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Sam: Oh...

Darlin': Wow, Sam, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sam: We literally slept together yesterday.

Darlin': That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sam: I love you.

Darlin', not paying attention: What was that?

Sam: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Darlin': Well, Sam and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Darlin': That's right... We kissed!

Darlin': What are you in the mood for?

Sam: World domination.

Darlin': That's a bit ambitious.

Sam: You are my world.

Darlin': Aww...

Sam:

Darlin':

Sam:

Darlin': OH.

Darlin': I have feelings for you.

Sam: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Waiter: What would you like?

Darlin': Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Sam: *blushes*

Darlin': *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Darlin': You got a date yet Sam?

Sam: No...

Darlin': Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Darlin': Are we fighting or flirting?

Sam: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Darlin': Your point?

Darlin': I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Sam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Darlin': O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Sam: Is it working?

Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Darlin': …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Darlin': Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Darlin': Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sam: Marry me.

Darlin': This date is boring!

Sam: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Darlin': Then why did you invite me?

Sam: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sam I'll do whatever I want!

(This is long as fuuuuck and took me a good hour, but it was fun)

[melloollem]

Cat and bird||Damian Wayne × No reader gender

Summary: You, like your mother, try your luck on one of Gotham's hunting nights

Warnings:No gender specification, teenager Damian, please read the warning at the end of the reading.

(DC masterlist)

Robin was standing on top of a building when he felt a presence behind him. Before he could turn around, two arms encircled his shoulders in an unassuming manner, and he let out a tongue click as he noticed their presence.

"Tsk, what are you doing?" Despite his serious tone, there was no real reproach in his words. "Just walking, and you?" He ignored your question and looked straight ahead, you rolled your eyes in response to his behavior "Shouldn't you be with your mother?" He said as he looked down for any strange movement.

"She's probably with your father" So that's why he didn't hear back. Damian couldn't help but scrunch up his face at the thought.

"Relax, they're not doing that, she's trying to rob a bank" What was supposed to be a relief drew a weary sigh from the boy, now he was responsible for you.

"Come on, I'll take you home," he said, moving away from the edge of the building. You turned away from him and wrinkled your eyebrows as you said "This isn't happening" Damian looked at you as if to challenge you and you returned the look. The competition didn't last long, ending when Robin started walking towards the fire escape.

"Let's go, your mother will be angry" He always had the right arguments for victory and you were always a sore loser by rebuttal. "Maybe or maybe she sent me here to distract him" You and Damian knew it was just a bluff. Despite all your skill and effort. Selina would never allow you to help her with any robbery, even if it meant distracting Robin.

"You're not a good liar" Damian made light of the remark and continued to leave you behind. You gave in, but you weren't going to go out in total defeat.

"Let's bet" Damian turned in time to see the slow way you were walking backwards towards the edge of the building. "Whoever gets to my house first wins." At that moment, he walked towards you, understanding the hand to take your arm.

"No, we're not doing that. You don't even have any proper equipment." The moment he said that, you raised one of the hook guns he was using in front of your face before jumping.

He let out a sigh and went after you. Damian and his father had a very complicated relationship with the nickname "cat", it was the only thought he had in that brief fall before he got to you.

"Now you're here, stop resisting" you said as you walked around the table, you dodged the furniture majestically, that must have been a craze taken from your mother. "Agree to keep me company tonight" At that moment, the realization that you had planned to go to him just for this proposal struck Damian.

"I'm on patrol, my father will notice I'm missing," Damian said without revealing his desire to stay. His words brought a mocking smile to your lips as he said, "My mother's taking care of that." You nodded towards the television, which was broadcasting a story about a major robbery being carried out at the Gotham bank; you didn't even need to show Selina's face to know that she was responsible for the great deed.

"My brothers, they-" You rolled your eyes, interrupting him by saying, "God, boy. This isn't my problem, I've already done my bit, stay and do yours." Your gracious and endearing tone was abandoned, you weren't the only expert at pinching nerves in that room.

Damian debated internally whether it was worth staying, he knew how much Selina avoids any kind of contact you might have with someone from his family, it was her way of keeping you away from the world of vigilantes, something that wasn't very useful the second you and Damian ended up in the same room.

"I can tell my mother that you were protecting me," you said when you realized the dilemma the boy was in, although the proposal was true, the mocking tone was present in your voice.

"That's not happening," he said, walking over to your apartment window. You let out a humorless laugh at yourself for thinking that for a moment you had managed to convince Damian of something." See you tomorrow," he said, leaving you alone in the apartment. Your gaze fell on the television, where the headline read that Batman had managed to prevent the robbery. Today was not Kyle's lucky day.

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

When I write about minors (teenagers) even if I age them, I'll write everything as carefully as possible and the romance will be a subtext, and I'll also make a point of writing them more mature (there's no point in aging the character and leaving them acting like a child). I have no control over who reads this and I prefer to do it this way.

[ktchie]

'It's the hope that kills you'

Ted Lasso x Reader

Fluff and Angst

♡ other tags: attempt at humour/ no proof read we die like Rupert should've / possible part two

♡6.1k words

◇ In which Y/n wanted to confessed and Ted has a pastel pink apron.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

She consider herself as a tough independent woman who rather die and be beheaded than show any ounce of feelings or a hint of affection.

Her therapist said it's because she grew up in a household that doesn't show much emotion or any vulnerability. And they're right, she remember the time she saw her Dad shed a tear on the night of her high-school graduation, hiding behind his hands and cool dad stance before abruptly going to the bathroom and staying there for 40 minutes - he came back with red eyes and a terrible pun joke. As if nothing had happened.

So it is perfectly understandable that she grew up hating vulnerability, choosing to stay rigid and emotionless rather to have her whole soul on the palm of her hand. It doest help either that she's the eldest kid, the pillar of her siblings, the one who lays awake at night thinking any and every problems her parents throw at her way, worrying about it to the point her chest hurt and she has to learn to calm panic attack in such a young age.

So that being said, she never really had the full experience of romance or being in a relationship. She flirted with a few men on her lives and had fucked them plenty of times but she never really did the whole holding hands thing and all that cheesy stuff that people always whined about once the clock hits 10 and loneliness hits you like a freight train.

But meeting Ted, meeting Ted makes her want to dive head first on whatever corny things couples do in this day of age. Whether it be kissing on the rain or robbing a bank at 2pm in a Sunday afternoon.

She stared at him from across her, sitting so patiently like an overgrown child with a cup of steaming hot coffee.

"Something you need, Ted?" Her tone of voice held nothing but pure professionalism that made her quietly hissed.

Ted looked at her with his big brown eyes that makes her heart all googoo gaga, she sometimes wonder if Ted is secretly part of some hidden government group because she swore that puppy eyes could stop a international fued.

"Oh you know, just wanna visit ya'" he stated with a cheeryness only he can produced in the morning, all dimple and wide smiles. "'been awhile since I saw you, thought you're actually avoiding me but boss said that you're six feet under with all the work you got goin' on"

She chuckled at his words "Ted, I don't think there's anything in this world that could keep me away from you" she answered with a subtle smile, if she wanted him she would get him, whether it be by words or thousand of prayers.

Ted looked at her silently, wide eye and a blossoming blush on his cheeks. He looks ethereal underneath the early morning sun, a fallen single strand of hair dangling on his forehead that makes her hand itch with yearn to fix it.

"But I have been awfully neglectful to the rest of you, haven't I?" She decided to move on from her flirting (?), she doesnt want Ted to dropped dead on the floor from all the blood on his head. "I've been busy these past few weeks, but Will told me about the team plan get together on Sam's restaurant. I'll make sure to attend it, even shoulder the payment if we can get Sam to give us the bill"

Ted nodded his head, tounge tied for once, some part of her rejoiced while the other part, the one who always fear rejection and if she's being too much or too stupid, fear for whatever friendship they have (or had, if worse comes to worse)

"I-well" he cleared his throat, looking at her through his weirdly long eyelashes that always made her tear up in awe and envy.

"We can uh' y'know, we can split the bill, don't hav'ta shoulder it all by yourself"

"No its alright" she shook her head, she contemplate touching his arms, feel the soft fabric of his awfully comfy looking sweater and the skin underneath it but she decided not to, Ted might freak the fuck out and leave the room yelling 'HR! HR!' And have her fired and be shamed by the rest of the Richmond community for touching their beloved American wanker. "Consider it as my payment for forgetting to visit the locker room"

"Wasn't your fault, anyway" he shrugged before gesturing to the tower of folders and impending blueprints for the upcoming renovations and building upgrades. "I mean take a look at that, the great mt. Everest would cry if he saw this monstrosity. Even looking at it makes my stomach all funky" he shudder at its sight. "Do you even take a break? Jeez."

She sighed and leaned back on her office chair "from time to time, 15 minutes or 5. I like to finish my work early so.."

Ted frowned, he has one of those upset looks that makes her heart clenched and crack little by little until it exploded on her chest and she has to pretend she wasn't in pain so he could view her as a normal human being and not a lovesick teenager. "Ya should take a better care of yourself, you can't just go 'n on 'n on workin' till you drop dead" if it's possible, his doe eyes turned even more sadder. " its not good for you"

She bit her lip, her thighs moving up and down underneath her desk. She never liked it when he's anything but happy. "I can go take a rest when I go home and take a rest some more once I finish of all this work. its fine, don't worry too much about me"

"How can I not worry about you?" Ted leaned in, sad eyes and furrow brows. "Youre my-" he sighed before he shake his head "heck, If I had known you're over 'ere slowly killin' yourself i would have yank you from your desk till you're screamin' and cryin'"

Screaming and crying huh? Oh she can do that, alright.

"Ted.." she sighed, trying her hardest to ease the furrow on his brows "its fine, im fine. Don't worry about me too much. there's another game coming up, thats what you should be focusing on yeah?"

Ted sighed deeply, leaning back on the chair before nodding. A lock of hair fell down on his forehead, perfect it was, and y/n thought he never looked more beautiful then. She wonder if Ted kept his hair perfectly gel all the time or if he had ever let his guard down on the four walls he had been forcely call his home.

She would love to see him just him, just Ted, with his goofy smiles and bad puns and old reference from a bad film made years before.

She would love to love him, flaws and imperfections and bad days. She would paint him beautifully, perfect at every stroke of her brush and no smudge of mistakes and yet she knows she still wouldn't do him justice. Ted is just too perfect, too lovely, too godly to be even be depicted on a rough white canvas of this wretched world. Ted deserves to be painted in the walls of the church, or at every thread of the clouds, he was meant to be seen and to be watched and to be memorize until his kindness and his generosity and smile are engraved deep within everyone's heart. Y/n wanted to worship Ted with utmost devotion that her mouth would utter prayers like a second breath, until her two pressed hands bleed and flowers grow between her palm.

She watched him sat across her, his gaze darting everywhere on the carpet before a smile slowly broke on his lips, eyes suddenly lighting up and whole body perking up.

"Hey" he looked up to her, grin and joyful gaze "guess what I cooked last night" he had said giddily

"if you get it right I might just have to take a peek on that ridiculous sitcom you've always buggin' me to watch"

She scoffed, offended. "Modern family is not ridiculous, it's the best thing that ever happened to television-"

"Now hol' up. You're gettin' ahead of yourself now, sugar" she pretended the pet name didnt make her stomach flip and twist and did all kinds of wwe wrestling stunt. 

"I'll have you know that you're wrong, there are tons of- you know what, I ain't even gonna argue with you because we're both too tired for this and I'm too excited to tell you what I cooked last night, so just guess, come on"

She squinted her eyes before sighing as she started to think. "Well, last time we spoke you wouldn't shut up about barbecue and kebab and that one burger that sounds like it could kill you from one sniff"

"Triple cheese burger with bacon crisp, 3 sunny side eggs and curly fries dipped in ranch and garlic sauce with side on-"

"Sounds awful. Americans and their ridiculous food, seriously how are you not dead yet?"

Ted had shrugged with a sickeningly sweet smile "have no idea, but its good 'n ya know what they say 'enjoy life while it lasted'"

"Curse that qoute for manipulating you, let's just pray you wouldn't drop dead in the middle of the court because we can't handle your decaying body and another lose at the same time"

"You betcha! Now guess what I cooked!" Ted was almost jumping from his seat, propping his head on his palm as he stared at her.

"Come on, now"

"Curry"

"No"

"Friend chicken?"

"Nope, but boy I would love to have that right now"

"Salad?"

"Heck no! You kiddin' me?"

"Uhhh, curry?"

"You already said that!" Ted pouted lightly and she almost reach out to trace the bottom of his lips and mumbled how sweet he look right now but thankfully she stopped herself.

"Allright I give up" she threw her hand up and sigh "anything you cooked is fantastic anyway, doesn't matter what it is"

"Oh, arent you a sweetheart" he smiled at her so adorably it made her tooth ache. "I'm glad you think so because I just cooked f/f!" Ted yelled so excitedly, arms spread wide and eyes bright.

She looked at him with agape mouth

"F/f? Are you serious?" She grinned so widely, it has been awhile since she tasted it, mainly because the only f/f she had ever ate is the one her mother cooks.

"Course! I wouldn't lie to ya!" Ted had stated "I couldn't get some shut eyes last night so I decided to make it, better to do something than nothin' at all am I right?"

She's still looking at him, as if in trance. "Wow Ted..I mean im pretty fucking pump but-well, why did you make it? You could have baked, you usually bake when you have nothing to do"

Ted looked away from her, cheeks suddenly getting warm and pink under the sunlight. "Oh you know..just miss ya' I guess"

Her heart crumbled and melted inside of her chest, she could feel its warmth drip from every nerve she has and settle deep within her guts and lay there until she has to curl her toes in a pathethic attempt to calm herself down.

He took a peek at her under his lashes. "I was so used seeing you every darn morning 'ere so it makes me all sad and upset when I don't. Even coach beard had to knock some sense in to me, told me to keep my marbles together or else he'll hide my barbecue sauce" he lightly chuckled "pretty heavy threat, if you ask me"

"I didnt know you miss me so much"

"Are you kiddin' me? I miss ya a hell'ava lot more than 'much'" Ted had almost yelled "i miss ya more than Roy misses running! And thats alot"

She laugh quietly, both in amusement and the tickling feeling deep on her stomach that normal people (with normal amount of love on their heart) would refer as butterflies, but for her, for someone who love too deep and too vast and too much and for a girl like her that grew up reading stories and fairy tales and movies characters with soft confession under bright stars and harsh rains, she could refer the feeling on her stomach as a clawing beast, a magnificent one born on legends and shaky words of the fear locals, with a ferocious growl and wild eyes and fangs as big as a tallest house.

In short, everytime Ted does something so adorably lovely on her eyes she could feel the entire animals on her stomach.

She looked at him with a gentle smile, eyes bright and so so soft - looking at him a like proper lover would. "I miss you too, Ted" she had said almost like a whisper, like a sin. "More than you could ever know"

The statement sounded too intimate, the tone too romantic to be said between casual friends and even the silence after it could be written in a pages of old romance stories - describe it like moment after the music, where the two of them stares at one another with that yearning look that makes all the reader sick to their stomach.

Her words sounds like a confession, one that is so gentle even the gods up above would melt where they stood. She didn't utter the proper words of 'i love you' and didn't open her palm where her bleeding heart lay and offer it to him with a desperation - but the way she said her words, the way every letter soud so much like a sudden whisper in a night of passion and sudden realization of devotion and adoration makes her statement more than a confession - as if it was an oath, a promise set on stone. Like a knights word as he kneeled on his king and offered the edge of his swords, bare against the world, bright steel and fierce glare as his lips mouth his promise, the words he would live and die on, where war would start and where it would end - be it by his blood or his foes. And similar to that y/n is ready to be let down on where she sat, to spill her heart like a leaking wound and let it stains them both, let him know how she feels, how serious, how much time she had spent pinning after him, yearning, adoring him so silently like a lovesick suitor from afar.

Ted grinned at her, dimple deep on his cheeks and that damn fallen hair on his forehead that makes him so so lovely. He opened his mouth and y/n waited with bathed breath and wonder what words would come out but before he could even roll his tounge the door of her office opened with a harsh loud push.

"Y/n we have to- oh. oh Ted! Good morning!" Higgings strolled in clumsily and no matter how much she love the little dork she kinda want to crush his glasses on her palm and send him home.

"Higgins! Nice to see ya today, buddy" Ted stood up to greet him and to give him a pleasant hug and if the coach is annoyed at anyway, he didn't show it. God he's so kind its annoying..

"You too, Ted. You too" Higgins replied with a smile that reserved only for Ted, filled with gratitude and adoration before he turned to her and she watch, with great amusement and a little irritation, when that smile fell down on his lips. "And uh, we need to talk"

She sighed mournfully, waving a goodbye to the wonderful conversation she was having with her love and to the words he would say earlier. She gestured Higgings to sit across her before she met Ted's eyes.

"Im afraid we'll have to cut our cheesy conversation here, Ted. Duty calls and if you want someone to blame, blame Higgings" she pointed at the man with a teasing smirk that had Higgins poor heart rapidly beating with nervousness.

"What? But I'm merely doing my job-"

"Im fucking with you" she patted his shoulder with a light laugh before glancing at Ted, who still remained at her office with a smile.

"I'll gave you a call later" Ted had said "let's have a dinner, ill cook for ya'"

She bit her lip to keep the ridiculous love sick smile threatening to rip her mouth apart and nodded "ill look forward to it, have a good day"

"You too, sugar"

And he was gone and if Higgins wasn't infront of her, staring at her with that bewildered look only spooked squirrel could do she would have stood up and do a cartwheel on her carpeted floor because holy fucking shit Ted is going to cook for her, just for her, not like those times where they eat together on the locker room and she has to sneakily steal his lunch - tho she knows Ted wouldn't mind Beard is another problem, she still thinks Beard has a few dead bodies on his back, the man has a stare of a despondent convicted murderer inside a prison cell. Its crazy.

"Oh." Higgings blink rapidly, his mouth subtly and slowly forming a smile. "You and Ted?"

She squinted her eyes "We're friends"

"Not with that look in your eyes, no"

"What did you eat today to have you acting this cheeky, my dear Higgins?" She looked at him up and down with a scowl.

The man let out a grin

"I should be the one asking that" he then leaned in "or should it be 'who did you meet today that have you acting this lovesick, my dear y/n?"

She flush red "You're fired"

"That'd be the 205 times you've fire me and I will continue to ignore it as long as I live"

"The first time i did that you sobbed on my shoulder"

"Well its.." he looked away "it was a different time"

"Sure it was"

____________________________________

"Look what we have 'ere-"

"JESUS, ROY!" She had jumped 2 feet from where she stood, clutching her heart and her car keys.

"What the hell man!"

"What? You got yourself an American man and suddenly you're weak of heart?"

"That doesn't even make any sense.." she mumbled with a disturbed look as she stared at him. "What are you even doing here? and I dont have an American man, get your head straight"

"Its a fucking parking lot, im allowed to be here" He commented with a glared as he not so softly leaned on her car.

She sighed through her nose, annoyed. "What i meant was, why the fuck are you even standing about in here and suddenly appearing from the darkness like a...hairy angry batman"

"Im not fucking hairy!"

"you shed like a golden retriever, you're not fooling anybody!"

Roy, the dog, growled in annoyance before he blocked her way to the driver seat.

"Please move or ill yell bloody murder" she stated suddenly so so exhausted.

"Why actin' so rush? Got somewhere to be?" She squinted his eyes at him, suspicious and contemplating why is he being such a dick.

"Why are you talking to me like you're about to take my lunch money?"

Roy, with the little patience he has, growled once again before he shook his head, as if he was the one getting annoyed and tired on the conversation. Then he stared at her, right on the eye, as if wanting to burn her soul and cook her alive.

"Youre really not going to tell me?" He had asked, hands on his hips.

"Is that how it is?"

"What?" She ask, confused.

"You and Ted" Her eyes widen, what is he on about?

"Me and Ted? What about us?"

"Higgin-" he cleared his throat "I mean, someone told me you and the little prick was getting all chummy in your office. Even got yourself a fucking date, how lovely"

She sighed "there wasn't a date Roy, Ted and I are friends. And we aren't getting 'chummy' or whatever kind of meaning that word has in your vocabulary and tell Higgins-"

"It wasn't higgings"

"-tell him to keep his damn nose out of my business or ill key his car"

Roy stared at her for a long second before he clenched his jaw and mumbled a 'fuckkkkk'

"We're-" he swallowed before he looked upwards to the sky, as if begging the gods above to give him more strength. "We're-..f-friends, arent we?" Her eyes soften in both adoration and amusement as he grimaced with every letter he spoke.

She chuckled "we are, no matter how much you disdain that word"

"Then," Roy had sighed "believe me when I say that that cowboy Mr. Rogers is fucking inlove with you"

Suddenly the air felt too thick and her clothes felt too hot. "Roy, i think you're wrong. Ted wanst-"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me he wasn't because a blind bloke could see it in a mile away, he wouldn't fucking shut up about you. fuck sake, He even draws you!" He yelled dramatically, hands shooting in a air in a form of exaggerated irritation that only Roy Kent could do. "Those past few days where you lock yourself up in your bloody office has been the worst days of my entire life, Ted looks constipated half of the fucking time and all he does is broods and broods and fucking complains about you. He's insufferable! Beard has to talk to him in the bathroom to get him straight!" He massage his temple before sighing and looking at her so gently then, so softly, like a brother would, like a friend would do, like someone you can hold onto when life gets though and days gets bad.

"Believe me, he's inlove with you.." he softly said like a whisper.

"In every possible way a human could love, he's inlove with you"

Her breath hitched from her throat, tounge heavy on her mouth and her heart beat could be hear from miles away. The beast inside of her guts fell silent, almost asleep, like his words strike straight to his heart and send him down on the ground, wounded and shaken and could never get back up.

"I came here to.." Roy cut short, finding the proper words. "To tell you how happy I am that he finally work the balls to ask you out, but turns out he's still a fuckin' pussy and a mess of a man"

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Ted is.." She lick her lips and leaned on her car, Roy beside her and shoulder apart.

"I don't think Ted would do the first move, he's..afraid, I think. All his life Michelle was the only woman he knew, only woman he loved and if what you're saying is not true, then she's the only woman he would forever love" she said almost mournfully. "Divorced is hard, specially for someone like Ted who loves too much and give too much, maybe that's the reason why I'm hopeless inlove with him to the point of humiliation but who fucking  cares, right?" She shrugged.

She then swallowed before sighing a shaky breath. "I'll uh, ill confessed tonight. While we eat dinner, ill..ill try, and if- y'know, he doesnt like it then I'll back off" she bit her lip as her gaze burn holes to the pavement.

"I'll love him from afar, cheer for him from the stands and sob on my office if I saw him and sassy together again"

Roy chuckled "i remembered that one" reminiscing her worst times of sobbing half dead on her office table mumbling how cruel it is to love Ted and asking what Sassy has that she does not.

"Maybe ill hire a hit man too, have them kill you so you could forget about it" she bumped his shoulder with her own and lightly laugh when Roy grunts.

"I'll write it with my fucking blood, believe that"

"Write it with your chest hair and ill believe it"

"You fucking cunt-"

____________________________________

"Sorry 'bout the mess.." Ted gestured to the perfectly clean living room with a sheepish look. "didn't have time to clean up. I'm just too excited to cook for ya I forgot about everything else"

"That so? Well I'm excited to taste it, I'm sure it'll be wonderful" she smiled at him as she put the bottle of wine down on the marble kitchen bar.

"Oh it'll blow your socks off, its nothin' like the food at Sam's restaurant but its darn good if I say so myself" She watched silently as Ted, adorable adorable Ted, wore his pastel pink apron, tied it around his waist and fluff it with a lovely smile that almost had her clutching her precious weak heart.

"Im sure it'll be delicious" she say, referring more to the cook rather than food. "I like anything you do anyway, so"

Ted glance at her and smile, all dimple and bright eyes. It made her smile too, softly, subtly, like one of those yearning smile that hides thousands of words and promises and hopes and desperation.

Ted went back to his cooking, whistling a tune she swore she heard before. He was telling a story, one about a fish and a basketball and a prom that gone wrong but for the life of her she could not listen.

She thought about her conversation with Roy, the words he had utter that made her want to pour her heart out and confessed to her love. She dont want to be hopeful, being hopeful is nothing but a wish on the wind in this place. It is the poison that rots your mind, that decays the flower and the trees and the grass, break the ground you stood up upon - watch it crumble and crumble until your legs become weak and your bones break from your flesh and you fell ill and sick and cough blood until you die and wish that you should have done better, that you should have stayed quiet and at peace and settle from staring from afar instead of watching your own skin slowly peel away as you continue to hope and hope and hope and watch as the filthy earth swallow you whole and- Jesus christ she should really stop reading those sad terrifying books Nate had been recommending her alot, its ruining her head in the worst ways.

"Ya feel alright?" Ted's voice woke her from her thoughts.

She looked at him furrowed brows and concerned eyes. "Im good, it's nothing"

"We could just watch a movie, you know? Order some good ol' pizza and have a laugh on some bad movies and oh! You know what? we could just watch your favourite-"

"I rather just taste your food, Ted. If you don't mind"

"But you look tired" and there it is again, the puppy look, the vain of her existence. God he's so terrible she kinda want to kiss his face and pinch his cheeks.

She chuckled "arent you sweet"

"Oh gosh! I didnt- darn, I didnt mean it that way, sugar!" He was panicking, going all over the kitchen with his cute apron on and little sauce smudge on his cheeks.

"You l-look tired but y'know still pretty, and cute and-and you know? Please darlin' I didnt mean to offend you i just want to-"

"Hey, hey, hey.." she called out to him with a barely contained humour smile "I get it, I was fucking with you. I'm just joking, calm down"

He slumped dramatically on the counter with a sigh "oh goodness, you had me there. Thought I was gonna loose ya'"

They had talked a little bit, or maybe too much, she couldn't exactly remember how long it was or what it was about but she had know they had laugh and jest and share a few stories of their childhood and back when they're still a foolish teenager who didn't know what they want and where they belong - she  still don't know now if she was being honest, she wasn't really the kind of person that plans ahead of time, or give a genuine thought on what she wanted to do in the future and how she will get there but Ted is, Ted knows, Ted understand what he wants and how he will get there and what he see himself on the future and in which place and who he was with, it made her fall a little more inlove with him.

"How was it?" He had asked as he leaned in, nervous and fidgeting.

"Oh gosh please say somethin' I'm about to blow a nerve over 'ere"

She laugh "it was good!" And it is, the best curry she probably had.

"Its perfect, Ted. Even the spiciness is perfect"

He blew out an air "oh thank god, I was so worried ya wouldn't like it! And to be completely honest with ya' I thought I switched up the salt and sugar halfway"

She laugh again, it wasn't even funny, she's just inlove and a complete fool.

Ted started to talk about his day, down to what he had ate for breakfast and how terrible his coffee was 'it tasted like cow piss' his words. He then talked about his theory that Nate is secretly a goverment spy forced to work with him for a very dangerous top secret world breaking undercover mission - when she asked why he think that - 'because nate is a genius and there ain't no way he was a water boy before I came here and coach beard told me he saw nate yesterday slap a fly in a speed of light and didn't even flinch'

It was ridiculous theory but she then remember the amount of gory psychological thriller books Nate has been recommending her for the past few days and a good amount of them involves a spy or two. She wasn't convinced but she'll keep an eye out just incase.

"-it wasn't that much of a big deal"

"You set your school on fire!" Ted had exclaimed rather dramatically, on her opinion, as she told him her high-school tales.

"Thats like- Thats arson!"

"Its not arson if they don't know someone set it on fire" she tap her forehead lightly as if gesturing Ted to see how smart she is. And Ted, bless his heart, actually nodded.

"Youre right, thats smart. Look at ya' getting away with crimes in such a young age!" He grins so beautiful she was actually proud of what her foolish younger self did back then.

"You sounds awfully proud of me bring a criminal"

"Well its kinda awesome and speaking of awesome!--" his eyes was bright and there's a little smudge of sauce near his lips, he looks adorable and loveable and she just suddenly want to kiss him stupid and tell him how much she loves him-

"--Sassy and I are going on date this weekend!"

A glass shattered on the background.

She wasn't adventurous or a sucker for pain and near death experince but if someone had ask her what it would feel like when an arm go through her chest and crush her heart in one fist, she would describe what she's feeling right now in exact gruesome detail that even Nate would vomit on the corner.

She couldn't stop her smile for falling from her lips or the soft disbelief of 'oh' that escape from her tounge, its amazing how a simple two letter words sounded so broken out of the millions she had uttered before.

"Thats great, Ted" she thank every God there is that her voice didn't came out robotic "im happy, you deserve someone who can take care of you"

Ted nodded his head with a grin that is far too wide for his cheeks and then he stared talking, he was saying something but she couldn't hear it, didn't bothered to hear it, she was too busy wondering if the feeling of absence on her chest had been there long before or had just recently appeared now.

"-aint it funny?"

"Yeah" was her response even if she didn't hear any word of it, she avoid his gaze as she wiped her mouth with a tissue and cleared her throat - there's a vile stuck on it that she couldn't seems to swallow.

"Ted, I-uh, I think I'm gonna go home. I'm not feeling very well" she was a liar and a coward but she rather die than cry infront of him -  and suddenly she was young again, alone in her room, toes cold from the floor board and clenching her hands into a tight fist and wondering what is it about her that is unlovable.

"Oh, uh, okay" Ted stood up from the table "are you feelin' dizzy? Does your tummy feels funny? Do you wan-"

"I don't" she said firmly, she was upset, mad, not to him but to herself, for even hoping that she could have this. "I don't need anything, thank you" she lied and swallowed the humiliation of even wanting to say everything she wanted to say to him. All those words she wanted to confessed makes her sick to her stomach because how fucking dare she believe she even has a chance? How foolish to even assume she could have Ted?

"Nothing like a good rest would fix" she had stated, hoping to ease his mind but her chuckle came out weak and sad.

"Okay uh, ill walk you to your apartment - I mean, flat, christ-"

"Its okay" she grab her bag "I can walk by myself"

"I don't think its safe-"

"I can handle myself"

"Still, you look a little pale and I can't have a gal like yo-"

"Fucking hell Ted!" She had yelled and the guilt settled on her stomach as soon as she did so.

Ted look at her like she wasn't her, like another person came on his flat with a face of a friend he adores and she wanted to laugh because how could she want to love him and care for him when she could barely be half of a kind person that he was?

"Just- fuck, I got it. I can handle myself just dont-" she sighed through her nose and looked down, she could feel the tears on her eyes and but none of them fell down.

"Just let me be, yeah? I'm not a fucking toddler you need to be coddle all the time"

There's a pause before Ted nods "Okay" his eyes were sad, sadder than anything she had ever saw and it would've break her heart if it weren't shattered before.

She looked at him silently, a second. She almost wanted to say it, say the words, just lay it all on the table and let Ted feast on the remnants of her broken heart and whatever is left. He'll take good care of it, she knows. That's a kind of man he is. Maybe even fix it together with some melted gold.

"Im sorry" Ted was the one who apologized even if she should be the first, it made her guts coil. "I didnt mean to upset you, I was just-just worried. I'm sorry"

She looked down and clenched her fist, dig her nails on her palm.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I was being a dick and I have no excuse-"

"Youre tired and you're not feeling well, 's okay"

"Its not, Ted" she shook her head "I shouldn't have talk to you like that, you're my-" she swallowed "youre my friend, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry"

Ted smile, sad and worried all at once. "Its okay, I forgive ya'"

He shouldn't be, atleast not this easily.

"Okay" she nod her head once before she turn to the door with trembling hands.

Ted appeared next to her and held the door open for her. "Be safe, sweetheart"

'Don't' she wanted to whisper but felt too tired to do so.

"Call me when you get home"

"Will do"

The ground was wet as she walked and the road felt much sadder than before, the cold night air beg her for warmth and instead of the heat of her flat her mind travel to the warmth of his hands, of his touch. Y/n briefly wonder how she came to be like this, how she love so fiercely like a beaten dog and dig claw marks on everything she ever love just to watch it be yank away from her as easily as her tears could fall.

[allwormdiet]

Shell 4.1

As much as I wish Taylor could ride this high forever, unfortunately looks like it's back to school

Taylor. Honey. Dearheart. You keep being really complimentary about your bullies' physical looks, and this does not in any way undermine the hurt they've done to you or your resentment thereof, but it does muddy the waters a little bit as to whether resentment is the only thing you're feeling

The back-and-forth actually feels so refreshing compared to every previous interaction with the bullies, like. My god. Did Taylor just have to rob a bank to get the confidence she needs to not worry about these fuckers? I never thought that John Dillinger therapy would take off but maybe there's a future in that

Better the devil in plain sight than the devil you can't see at all.

John Dillinger therapy! This is what I'm talking about! Let's go Taylor, show that inner strength! Shed the burden!

I mean hell, maybe, or maybe this is an upturn where she finally gets sure enough in herself to get these jerks off her back forever. We'll see how it plays out, right?

The idle speculation on Mr. Quinlan is a little wild but well in keeping with my own experiences. Sometimes teachers just passively generate rumors around them.

This one stupid bit about John Dillinger therapy keeps paying off, this is great, real joke investment opportunity

Honestly Taylor I think you can feel bad about it while also living with it, I'm not gonna pretend to be some expert on morality or philosophy or whatever but I feel like you're allowed a certain number of felonies after enough suffering in your life

Technically not a career boost for the Undersiders, at least not as far as public renown, but making your enemies look like clowns is just as good if not better. Like yeah, those tools on the other side are getting their pay docked because of that bigass hole in the roof of the bank, and you're way richer from the same event

Expanding our understanding of the city a bit more, and honestly this sounds dope as fuck. I'd love to visit every once in a while and just soak in the culture, although not if it meant living in Brockton Bay. That seems. Bad.

Ugh, these kids

Honestly I'm not quite this hardcore but damn if it isn't a mood. I've yet to see proof of Rachel being wrong

Yeah I know she had her dogs attack Taylor, Taylor's an aspiring snitch, it's okay to maul a snitch

I think I knew this part already but honestly I'm more excited to have Rachel lore than anything

I wonder how much leniency can be provided for crimes that happen in the immediate aftermath or because of a trigger event. Maybe not a ton, or maybe enough to get away with murder. I'd be curious to learn more about that, if it ever comes up.

And uhh, yeah, that'd fucking get you dead bodies alright. Wonder if that's why she's so hardcore about the training, making sure that never happens again. Entirely for the dogs' benefit, or only mostly and then there's some part of her that thrives with that kind of control?

Alec you cheeky little shit, you're endearing yourself to me

Honestly Taylor, just try and breathe easy for a little bit, I don't think you've been able to do that in over a year. Take your time, enjoy your walk on the wild side.

Maybe I'm biased but I love these two interacting on their own, so I'm fully in favor of this plan Lisa

Well I'm sure if Lisa ever killed anybody they deserved it, or if nothing else she arranged circumstances so that they ended up deserving it after some mild provocation

it's fiiiiiiiiine

Current Thoughts

This story has such good slice of life, I want more of it every time and every time I get cut off before I'm satisfied. Is that on purpose? If that's on purpose Wildbow might be a more sinister intelligence than I'd thought.

School segment was so blissfully short and Taylor managed to fight Emma to a standstill so this is a huge improvement over every other second she's spent at school

If Rachel ever kills anyone on purpose they deserved it, and if Rachel ever kills anyone on accident it's okay bc everyone makes mistakes

Honestly I'd be willing to accept any of these kids as having a good reason to render someone cadaverrific. Brian and Lisa have good heads on their shoulders and at this point I'm starting to suspect that the lazy gamer thing Alec has going on is like, at least partially a front for a deeper personality, and he's trying to be shallow on purpose, so idk what that means for him being a killer but I somehow doubt he's a fucking Hannibal Lecter type when we're not looking

...Actually come to think on it the only two members the Protectorate has info on is Grue and Bitch, right? Tattletale is an unknown and Regent has almost nothing about him. I'd suspect Grue to be the second killer but I'm not sure if that's a red herring.

Find out eventually, I guess.

...I might have another chapter in me before sacking out for the night. We'll see.

[novankenn]

The Fundraiser

Jaune was a little nervous. It had been four months since he had seen his twin sister Joan. He knew she had taken his running off... extremely badly, so he was worried about how she was going to react when she saw him. As the bullhead landed, Jaune swallowed nervously. His knees actually started to quiver as the hatch opened.

????: JAUNE!

Jaune was bowled over by a blond haired missile, and when his head stopped swimming he found himself looking into the blue eyes of his twin sister, who was firmly seated upon his chest.

Jaune: Hi Joan.

Joan: You stupid, ignorance, disloyal, jerk! How dare you!

Jaune: I'm sorry?

Joan: Sorry? You WILL be sorry! You left me alone... with them, how could you?

Jaune: I'm sorry... but Belle and Bella really like you! They couldn't have been...

Joan: I'm talking about mom and dad! Dad was convinced you had been eaten by grimm, and mom spent four weeks crying about how she lost her baby boy to some cradle robbing skank!

Jaune: Well... neither of those things happened, so...

Joan: And you NEVER did once write me! I had to reach out to Auntie to find you!

Jaune: You didn't... please say you didn't!

????: She did.

A ominous shadow fell over the two siblings. Who both looked up to see the grinning face of Glynda Goodwitch... their mom's twin sister.

Jaune: What have you done...

Glynda: So as you can see Joan, Jaune is fine, I've been keeping him safe.

Joan: Thank you Auntie.

Glynda: You are welcome. Now... you BOTH owe me a favor and tonight I am cashing it in.

Joan/ Jaune: And the favor is?

Glynda: You are going to help me with the Annual Beacon Charity Auction. I have your... uniforms in my apartment.

Joan: That doesn't sound so bad.

Jaune: Don't jinx it!

Joan and Jaune were hot and exhausted. Neither was happy with the Holiday elf outfits they were having to wear, that included bell topped pointy hats, and curly shoes. Though the short skirt that Joan had to wear was a little better than the nearly pained on shorts Jaune had on.

Joan: I'm tired. Is this almost over?

Jaune: Yeah, I think so. That was the last lot we had to move.

Joan: Good. I want a shower and to cuddle you, like we used to.

Jaune: Soon, Joan. Soon.

Glynda: Thank you all for your support of the Vale Orphanage and Food Bank!

Crowd clapping politely.

Glynda: Now for our last special client only lot... lot double J.

Joan: I though you said... ?

Jaune: It was.

Joan: Then where is this Double J lot?

Jaune: I... HEY!

Joan: EEP!

The Pair felt themselves lifted into the air and pulled through the curtains, finding themselves in front of the several of their friends and strangers.

Glynda: Now before I start the bidding, here are some of the details. Lot Double J is of a set of Arc twins. Jaune and Joan. They are and I quote "Perfect House-Husband and House-Wife material".

Joan/ Jaune: Mom SOLD US OUT!

Glynda: While their combat ratings is at E rank, that is of little concern. They both have Baking Skills at Rank A. Rank B Housekeeping. Rank B Laundry. Rank S Cooking. Rank A+ Child rearing...

The room was filled with polite clapping.

Glynda: AND Rank SSS Stamina... you know what that means...

Once again the room filled with clapping... very loud and aggressive clapping.

Glynda: This lot is to be sold as a set, and yes the marriage documentation is ready for signature. So do I have an opening bid of...

???? 30,000!

Jaune: Weiss? What the hell?

Joan: Whose Weiss?

???? 45,000

Jaune: PYRRHA!

Joan: Was that you're partner?

Weiss: Back off Nikos! Those blond angels are mine! 55,000!

Jaune: So you want him now? Pathetic Schnee. 75,000!

Weiss: Pathetic? Who was too much of a coward to admit her feelings? 85,000!

Jaune: Feelings?

Joan: I think she likes you.

Jaune: Great, but right now she's trying to buy OUR hands in marriage!

Joan: Oh, yeah right.

Pyrrha: I was scared! I didn't want to drive him away... but I can't not take this chance! I LOVE YOU JAUNE and I'll LOVE JOAN just as equally! 100,000!

Joan: Awe, that's sweet.

Jaune: Joan their trying to BUY us!

Joan: You trying to tell me, you don't want someone who is interested in us, who can provide for us, and all we have to do... is the shit mom and dad had us do all the time?

Jaune: Well...

Joan: Plus... you do know what Husbands and Wives get to do... and do a lot right?

Jaune: Oh...

Weiss: The Arc and Schnee name must be joined! With those two at my side I will fix the SDC and with their loving support, I'll make reparations to all the people my father has hurt! 250,000!

Joan: Arc-Schnee?

Jaune: Schnee-Arc? Nah. Arc-Schnee, sounds better.

Joan: Right?

Pyrrha: No... I will NOT lose to some spoiled princess, using her daddy's money! 500,000, and I'll sign over the Royalty Rights for Pumpkin Pete's to Beacon for administration to local Vale charities! That's another 200,000 per year!

Glynda: Um...

Looks over to the lawyers, administrator and observers.

Glynda: Can we accept that?

The lawyers, administrator, and observers all shrug their shoulders.

Joan: Pyrrha seems nice.

Jaune: Oh she is. She saved my life at initation.

Joan: Really?

Glynda: Okay... 500,000 upfront, pl;us 200,000 per annum... going once!

Murmurs from the crowd.

Glynda: Going twice!

Weiss just crosses her arms over her chest, and shoots Glynda a wink.

Glynda: SOLD!

BANG BANG BANG

Joan: Wow... that's a lot of money to help the needy.

Jaune: It is. But are you okay with this? I mean we're going to end up jointly married to the same person...

Joan: It was bound to happen... considering mom and auntie.

Jaune: True. Ture.

Glynda: Lot Double J goes to Pyrrha Nikos for the sum of 500,000 lien and an annual contribution of a further 200,000. Congratulations! To everyone, thank you for attending, and your support.

Joan: Jaune... why am I feeling scared now?

Jaune: I don't know... but I'm feeling it too.

[winxanity-ii]

MEMORY CARD [1/?]

ship: artist!andy x fem!reader warnings: non-explicit word count: 4.7k (y'all know the routine, tried doing a regular one-shot but ended up worldbuilding 😩😔; part 2 will be up soon) a/n: was talking with my sis about westworld so here we are...(update: it's gonna be 4-5 parts in total cuz @k-nayee. bullied me 😭😔💔 parts: 2

★·.·´🇦‌🇱‌🇮‌🇪‌🇳‌ 🇲‌🇦‌🇸‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌��‌🇮‌🇸‌🇹‌`·.·★

The train rattled along the tracks, the gentle hum of the engine weaving with the rhythmic clatter of wheels against steel. You leaned your forehead against the cool glass window, watching as the endless plains rolled by in a blur of gold and green.

The faint smell of dust and engine oil filled the cabin, mingling with the scent of freshly brewed coffee from the dining car up ahead.

Each bump in the track sent a subtle jolt through the train, a reminder of the distant frontier you were heading toward.

Behind you, the low murmur of conversation drifted through the air. You weren't trying to eavesdrop, but the voices carried in the cramped space.

"Now, the first time, I played it white hat. My family was here. We went fishing, did the gold hunt in the mountains," one of the men said, his tone smug with nostalgia. There was a pause as he took a swig of something from his flask. "And last time? I came alone. Went straight evil. It was the best two weeks of my life."

His companion chuckled darkly. "Straight evil, huh? What'd you do?"

"Ah, you know," he said with a nonchalant shrug that you could practically hear in his voice. "Burned a few homesteads, robbed a bank or two… Got a nice haul from the bank, but the real fun was in the brothel. Picked a few cute ones—doe eyes, rosey cheeks, the whole works." His voice dipped into something sleazier. "Well, by the time I was done with the first one, let's just say, she wasn't thinking much at all."

You clenched your jaw, your grip tightening on the armrest as your stomach turned at his words.

The casual cruelty in his voice was disturbing, the way he spoke about the hosts like they were nothing more than objects to be used and discarded.

It was the kind of talk that made your skin crawl.

"And you know, the best part?" he continued, his voice dripping with twisted satisfaction. "After I was done, I shot her right in the head. She fell like a goddamn doll. And the way the other girls screamed—man, I've never felt so powerful."

Your heart pounded in your chest, a mixture of anger and disgust swirling inside you. Behind him, his friend laughed, low and crude.

"You're sick, man. But I gotta hand it to you—there's nothing like having absolute control. Makes you realize what you’re missing out on in the real world, doesn't it?"

Kiro, who had been staring out of the opposite window, turned her head sharply, her eyes blazing with indignation. "Ugh, what pigs," she gagged, loud enough for you to hear but quiet enough to avoid drawing attention.

Or so you thought.

You turned toward her, already sensing where this was going. "Kiro, don't," you whispered, trying to catch her eye, but she was already leaning forward, her expression set in a fierce scowl.

"Excuse me," she said, her voice cutting through the men’s conversation like a knife. Both of them turned, startled by the sudden interruption. "What an amazing story," she continued, dripping with sarcasm. "Can you maybe speak a little louder so we can all enjoy hearing about you fucking a decapitated host?"

The entire cabin fell silent. Every conversation around you stuttered and died as heads turned in your direction. The men stared at her, eyes wide in shock, before the one who had been bragging about his exploits found his voice.

"Hey, what the hell is your problem?" he barked, his face flushing with anger and embarrassment.

You reached out, grabbing Kiro's arm in an attempt to pull her back into her seat. "Kiro, please, just—" you began, but she shrugged you off, her gaze never leaving the men.

"Me? Problem?" she said, her voice cold and clear. "Looks like you have the problem, sitting over here bragging about doing sick shit. Sounds like you need a fucking therapist, not a vacation."

The man's face turned an even deeper shade of red as he sputtered, clearly not used to being called out so directly. His companion shifted uncomfortably, looking around at the other passengers who were now watching the scene unfold with varying degrees of curiosity and discomfort.

With a devastated, horrified shriek, you yanked Kiro back down into her seat, your fingers digging into the soft fabric of her dress as you hissed her name. "Kiro!"

The man grunted, shoving himself up from his seat. "Whatever. Let's get out of here," he muttered, jerking his head toward the back of the train. His friend followed suit, and you watched as they made their way down the aisle, their bravado crumbling under the weight of the stares that followed them.

Eventually, the low hum of conversation slowly filled the cabin again, the brief drama fading into the background noise of the train.

You pressed the heel of your hand to your forehead, rubbing at the spot between your eyes where a headache was beginning to bloom. "You can't let it get to you like that," you murmured, leaning closer so only she could hear. "You know it's common to hear things like that in here. Most people come to this place to live out their worst impulses."

Kiro let out a reluctant sigh, her shoulders sagging as she sank back into her seat. "I know," she muttered, a scowl tugging at the corners of her mouth. "But it's still bullshit. It doesn't matter if they're hosts. It's just wrong." She crossed her arms over her chest, her fingers tapping impatiently against her biceps. "And this ridiculous getup doesn't help either."

You glanced at her outfit, your lips quirking into a smile despite the lingering tension.

The soft yellow fabric of her dress shimmered faintly in the afternoon light, the white lace trim at the collar and cuffs adding a delicate, almost ethereal touch. The bodice hugged her frame perfectly, the high waist flaring out into a gentle, flowing skirt that fell just above her ankles.

Matching gloves, made of the same soft material, covered her hands, and a small hat, adorned with a delicate white ribbon, sat perched on her head, complementing her olive skin tone. Her silky straight hair was tied up in an intricate bun beneath the hat, a few stray strands framing her face.

"You look fine," you teased, nudging her gently with your elbow.

Kiro rolled her eyes, but a smirk tugged at her lips as she nudged you back. "Yeah, you can only say that because you’ve been here a hundred times. You're probably more used to wearing this old-western shit than regular clothes."

You laughed, reaching out to playfully pinch her arm. "That's not true," you protested, grinning as she swatted your hand away. "In my defense, the aesthetic is cute." You gestured to your own outfit, smoothing down the dark emerald green fabric of your dress.

The rich, velvety material clung to your figure in all the right places, the cream accents along the hem and sleeves adding a touch of elegance.

The dress was designed in the same style as Kiro's, with a fitted bodice and a flared skirt that swayed with every movement. A small matching hat perched atop your head, the delicate cream ribbon fluttering gently as the train continued its steady journey.

You tugged at your matching gloves, the emerald fabric soft and smooth against your fingers.

"You can't deny it's fun to dress up a little," you added, leaning back in your seat. "Even if it is a bit…anachronistic."

Kiro snorted, her smirk widening into a grin. "Yeah, well, I'd still prefer my jeans and a t-shirt any day over this." She glanced down at her outfit, shaking her head. "I feel like I'm playing dress-up in some weird historical reenactment."

You chuckled, the last remnants of tension melting away as the train rocked gently beneath you. "That's the whole point, though. It’s supposed to be a break from reality."

"Yeah, a break from reality where people think it’s okay to act like total assholes," Kiro muttered, but there was no real bite in her voice. She glanced at you, her eyes softening. "Thanks for trying to keep me out of trouble."

"Always," you said, smiling. "But next time, maybe just let it slide. We're here to have fun, remember?"

Kiro rolled her eyes, but she leaned back in her seat with a sigh. "Yeah, yeah. I'll try to remember that."

The train began to slow, the rhythmic clatter of wheels against tracks softening as it pulled into the station. You felt the change in momentum as it gently rocked to a stop, the hiss of steam filling the cabin.

The conductor's voice, gruff but polite, echoed through the car.

"Welcome to Sweetwater, ladies and gentlemen," he called out, tipping his hat as he moved down the aisle. "Please mind your step as you disembark. Have a fine day, and enjoy your visit to the frontier."

The passengers around you stood, gathering their belongings and chatting excitedly as they prepared to disembark.

You exchanged a glance with Kiro, who rolled her eyes playfully at the conductor's formal tone but couldn't hide the glimmer of excitement in her eyes.

You stood, smoothing down the skirt of your dress before picking up your leather bag.

The air was filled with the rustling of clothing, the creak of leather boots against the wooden floor, and the hum of anticipation as everyone shuffled toward the exit.

Stepping down from the train onto the wooden platform, you were momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight. You blinked, shielding your eyes with one gloved hand as you adjusted to the sudden change.

The warmth of the sun contrasted sharply with the cool, dusty air that carried the faint scent of horses and fresh-baked bread from the nearby bakery.

Sweetwater spread out before you like a scene from a storybook. The town was bustling with life, the wooden buildings lined up along the dusty main street, their colorful signs swaying gently in the breeze.

Horses trotted by, their hooves clopping against the dirt road, while a stagecoach rumbled past, the driver tipping his hat to the ladies on the sidewalk.

Kiro stepped down beside you, her eyes wide as she took in the sight. "Wow," she breathed, her voice filled with awe. She turned in a slow circle, taking in everything from the saloon with its swinging doors to the blacksmith's forge where the sound of hammering echoed faintly through the air. "This is… incredible."

You couldn't help but smile at her reaction, memories of your own first visit flooding back. The overwhelming sense of wonder, the feeling that you'd stepped into another world, a place where anything was possible.

It was a sensation that had faded over time, but seeing it through Kiro's eyes brought a flicker of it back to life.

Before you could say anything, Kiro snapped out of her daze, her grin wide and infectious as she grabbed your arm. "Let's go check it out!" she exclaimed, pulling you along before you could protest.

The two of you made your way down the bustling street, weaving between groups of people.

You passed a group of children chasing each other, their laughter ringing out as they dodged between the legs of a tall man in a duster coat. He chuckled, tipping his hat to you as you passed.

The town was alive with energy, a mix of hosts and guests moving about, some lost in their own narratives, others just exploring.

A woman in a bright red dress leaned against the railing of the saloon, batting her eyelashes at a group of men who were clearly guests, their excitement palpable as they fumbled through the door.

A few steps ahead, you noticed a man standing on a wooden crate, a sheriff's star pinned to his chest. He was surrounded by a small crowd, gesturing animatedly as he spoke.

"A posse is being organized to chase down a man who murdered the Marshal!" he announced, his voice carrying over the noise of the street. "Murderous son of a bitch named Hector Escaton gunned down the Marshal in cold blood. He's holed up in the mountains, and we need every able-bodied person willing to bring him to justice."

The crowd murmured, a few men stepping forward eagerly. The sheriff's gaze swept over the people gathered around him, landing on you and Kiro as you passed by.

"You there," he called out, pointing in your direction. "You look like the kind of ladies who’d put your mettle to it."

Kiro's eyes lit up, her hand already lifting in an enthusiastic wave as she nodded eagerly. "Really? Hell ye—"

"Not today, Sheriff," you cut in smoothly, stepping between Kiro and the man with a polite smile. "Apologies." You hooked your arm through hers, steering her away before she could argue.

"Hey, I could've done it!" she protested, though her tone was more playful than serious. She looked over her shoulder, watching as the sheriff turned back to his recruiting.

You couldn't help but laugh, the sound light and teasing. "Oh, I know you could've. I one hundred percent believe that," you said, patting her arm reassuringly as you guided her through the crowd. "But first, we've got to put our things away at the inn."

Kiro sighed dramatically but nodded, her curiosity about the town clearly winning out over the missed opportunity.

Together, you made your way down the bustling street, the inn's weathered sign swinging gently in the breeze as you approached.

A little while later, you were in your room, humming a soft tune under your breath as you folded your clothes and placed them neatly in the drawer.

The room was simple but cozy, the wooden floors creaking slightly under your feet as you moved around, setting up your things.

The afternoon sun filtered through the lace curtains, casting a warm, golden light across the room.

You were just placing your hat on the dresser when the door burst open, slamming against the wall with a loud thud. You jumped, turning to see Kiro standing in the doorway, her eyes gleaming and a wide grin plastered across her face.

"They have a saloon!" she exclaimed, practically vibrating with excitement.

You blinked, momentarily confused by her enthusiasm. "Yeahhh…" you said slowly, tilting your head as you tried to figure out why she was so excited. "We saw it earlier. Remember?"

Kiro didn't respond immediately. Instead, she stalked forward, closing the distance between you in a few quick strides. She placed her hands on your shoulders, staring you directly in the eyes, her expression dead serious. "If there's a saloon, that means there’s alcohol," she said, her voice low and intense, as if she were imparting some great secret.

You raised an eyebrow, still not quite following. "Okay…?"

"And if there's alcohol," she continued, her grip tightening on your shoulders, "you know what that means? Drunk-ass susceptible banks!"

You rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. "Really, Kiro? Are you seriously planning to spend your week here doing the same thing you do back home? Get a roster of dudes?"

Kiro snorted, releasing your shoulders as she plopped down on your bed, the springs creaking under her weight. "Uhhh, duh," she sang, grinning up at you with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "What else am I supposed to do? It's my birthday. Plus, this is the perfect time to meet and get my thot shit on without worrying if the dude will find my ass and want a relationship."

You paused, your hands stilling as you turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised. "What happened to the whole 'treating hosts like people' bit back on the train earlier?"

Kiro looked at you like you’d just killed a dog or smacked her across the face. "What!? I am!" she protested, her voice rising in indignation. "If anything, me not fucking them would be discriminatory. Hell, I'm giving them the ultimate human treatment by treating them like one of my potential hoes."

You snorted, shaking your head as you folded the last of your clothes and slid the drawer shut. "You're ridiculous," you said, but there was no real bite to your words. A smile tugged at your lips as you glanced over at her.

Kiro just grinned, one eyebrow quirking up as she leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "You love me," she said, winking dramatically.

"Unfortunately," you teased, earning an exaggerated gasp from her.

Before she could retaliate, she hopped up from the bed, practically bouncing on her heels as she clapped her hands together. "Now, hurry up!" she whined, grabbing your arm and tugging on it like a petulant child. "We've gotta get to the saloon before all the good stuff is gone. I want to get my drink on and find some sweet-talking cowboy to take advantage of."

You laughed, letting her pull you toward the door. "You really think you're gonna find someone like that here?"

Kiro scoffed, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she gave you a playful smirk. "Please. With this face?" She gestured to herself dramatically. "I'm irresistible. Hosts, guests, doesn't matter. They'll all be lining up for a chance with me."

"Your confidence is astounding," you said dryly, grabbing your bag and throwing it over your shoulder.

"Thank you," she said, fluttering her eyelashes at you. "Now, come on! Time's wasting!"

You let her lead you out of the room and down the creaky wooden stairs to the main lobby, the warm, dusty scent of the inn filling your senses as you passed by the front desk and out the door.

The sun was beginning its slow descent toward the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over the town as the two of you made your way back down the main street.

The atmosphere was even livelier than before, with more guests mingling among the hosts, their faces alight with excitement and curiosity.

A couple of men sat outside a shop, their hats tipped low over their eyes as they chatted, while a woman in a bright red dress twirled a parasol, her eyes scanning the crowd with a practiced gaze.

Kiro's grip on your arm was firm but gentle as she pulled you along, her enthusiasm bubbling over as she pointed out various sights along the way. "Look, there's the sheriff's office!" she exclaimed, practically bouncing on her toes. "And over there's the general store. We should totally check that out later."

As you approached the saloon, you could hear the faint strains of music drifting through the air, mingling with the sound of laughter and clinking glasses.

You glanced up as you approached, your eyes tracing the elegant script of the sign hanging above the entrance. Mariposa Saloon, it read, the letters etched in gold against a backdrop of dark wood, a pair of butterfly wings painted delicately on either side.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever lay beyond those swinging doors.

Kiro nudged you with her elbow, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "Ready?" she asked, her voice barely containing her eagerness.

You nodded, pushing through the doors and stepping inside. The first thing that hit you was the smell—a heady mix of cigar smoke, polished wood, and the sweet, slightly tangy scent of whiskey.

It was almost overwhelming, yet oddly inviting, like stepping into another world entirely.

The low hum of conversation filled the air, punctuated by the clink of glasses and the occasional burst of raucous laughter.

The saloon was packed. Men in dust-covered coats and wide-brimmed hats leaned against the bar, their boots scuffing the polished floor as they chatted and laughed with each other.

A group of cowboys sat around a table near the back, cards in their hands and suspicious looks on their faces as they eyed one another over the pot of coins in the center.

Near the front, a few of the saloon's workers, dressed in vibrant, corset-style dresses, drifted gracefully through the crowd, their eyes sharp as they scanned for potential customers.

And then there was the music.

A piano in the corner was being played with enthusiasm, the lively melody filling the room and blending with the soft, sultry voice of the showgirl on stage. She was stunning, her sequined dress catching the light as she swayed to the rhythm, her voice weaving a spell over the crowd as she sang of love and loss and whiskey.

"Damn," Kiro breathed beside you, her eyes wide with awe as she took in the scene. "It's like we've stepped back in time."

You nodded, unable to tear your gaze away from the showgirl for a moment longer. "Yeah, it really is something," you murmured, feeling that familiar, intoxicating sense of wonder settle over you.

Kiro's hand on your arm brought you back to the present, and you followed her as she made a beeline for the bar.

The bartender, a handsome man with a chiseled jaw and a roguish smile, glanced up as you approached. He threw a towel over his shoulder, his eyes twinkling with a hint of amusement as he took in the two of you.

"Well, now," he drawled, leaning against the counter with a practiced ease. "What can I get you fine ladies tonight?"

Kiro's eyes narrowed playfully as she pushed herself up onto the bar, leaning over it just enough to draw the bartender's gaze. "Depends," she purred, her voice dropping into a low, seductive lilt. "What do you have that's strong enough to make a girl forget her name but sweet enough to have her calling yours?"

The bartender’s grin widened, his gaze flicking down to her lips before returning to her eyes. "I think I've got just the thing," he said, his tone matching hers. He reached under the bar, pulling out a bottle of amber liquid and two glasses. "You like bourbon, darlin'?"

"Love it," Kiro replied, her smile matching the bartender’s as she watched him pour the drinks with a practiced hand.

You rolled your eyes, a fond smile tugging at your lips as you watched the two of them. This was classic Kiro—bold, confident, and utterly unafraid to go after what she wanted, even if it was just a bit of flirtation with a good-looking bartender.

The bartender slid the glasses across the counter, his fingers brushing lightly against Kiro's as she reached for hers. "There you go," he said, his voice warm and smooth. "A drink strong enough to make you forget anything you want. And if you're looking for more than just the drink, well…" He leaned in a little closer, his smile turning wicked. "I'm here all night."

Kiro's laugh was low and throaty as she picked up her glass, taking a slow sip while keeping her eyes locked on his. "I'll keep that in mind," she said, her voice a soft purr.

You shook your head, chuckling softly as you picked up your own drink. Turning away from the bar, you took a sip, savoring the burn of the bourbon as it slid down your throat.

It was good—smooth and strong, with just a hint of sweetness.

As you let your gaze wander around the room, you took in the scene before you. At one table, a group of cowboys were deep in a game of cards, their faces tense as they watched each other’s hands with keen eyes.

Nearby, one of the saloon workers, a woman in a bright green dress, leaned over a gentleman’s shoulder, her fingers trailing lightly down his arm as she whispered something in his ear. He laughed, tipping his hat back as he glanced up at her with a wide grin.

On the stage, the showgirl continued to sing, her voice filling the room with its sultry tones. She twirled, her dress sparkling in the light, and you couldn’t help but be drawn in by her performance, the way she seemed to captivate everyone in the room.

It really did feel like you'd been transported to the past, to some forgotten corner of the world where anything was possible and reality was just a distant memory.

For a moment, you allowed yourself to get lost in it, the drink warming you from the inside as you leaned back against the bar, the weight of the real world falling away.

Kiro's laughter pulled you back, and you turned to see her still chatting with the bartender, her eyes bright with excitement.

You smiled, raising your glass in a silent toast to her.

Your eyes drifted lazily around the room, taking in the lively atmosphere and the myriad of stories unfolding around you.

Then, your gaze snagged on a figure seated in the far corner of the saloon, half-hidden in the shadows. Your heart immediately skipped a beat, the breath catching in your throat.

It was him.

He sat alone, his broad shoulders hunched slightly as he nursed a drink, his eyes fixed on the stage with an intensity that bordered on sadness, frustration etched in the lines of his brow.

His skin, a rich dark brown, contrasted sharply with the crisp, tailored suit he wore—an outfit that screamed sophistication and wealth, a stark difference from the dust-covered patrons that filled the room.

He looked like he had stepped out of another world, his presence commanding yet somehow withdrawn.

His suit was a deep charcoal gray, the fine wool perfectly fitted to his frame. His polished boots, gleaming faintly in the dim light, tapped lightly against the floorboards, the only hint of movement in his otherwise still figure.

He held his glass loosely in one hand, the amber liquid inside catching the light as he swirled it absently before taking a slow sip of his drink, his jaw clenching as he swallowed.

For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade, the noise of the saloon dimming to a distant hum as you watched him. Before you could find yourself getting lost in your thoughts, a tap on your shoulder jolted you back to reality.

You turned to see Kiro watching you with a raised brow, her eyes narrowing slightly in concern. "Hey, you okay? Did something happen?" she asked, her voice cutting through the haze that had enveloped your mind. "What are you looking at?"

You blinked, your heart skipping a beat as if you'd been caught doing something you weren't supposed to. Your eyes flicked back to the corner where he sat, your gaze lingering for just a moment before snapping back to Kiro.

You felt your face flush, a wave of heat crawling up your neck as you struggled to find your words. "I—it's nothing," you stammered, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I wasn't looking at anything."

Kiro gave you a look, one eyebrow arched high, her lips quirking into a skeptical smirk.

Normally, she would have pressed you for details, teasing you relentlessly until you either spilled the truth or begged her to stop. But tonight, she just tilted her head slightly, studying you for a moment longer before shrugging and turning back to the bartender, her previous flirtatious grin sliding back into place.

"Okay, if you say so," she murmured, her tone light, but her eyes lingered on you a beat longer than usual before she turned her attention back to the handsome man behind the bar, her laughter ringing out as he said something that made her giggle, her hand lightly brushing against his as she leaned closer.

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding, your shoulders slumping in relief.

But no matter how much you tried to focus on the drink in your hand or the conversation buzzing around you, your eyes kept wandering back to him.

You wanted to go to him, but the thought of breaking the fragile distance between you was terrifying.

So, instead, you stayed where you were, sipping your drink and trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened every time your gaze found him.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of laughter and music, Kiro's voice occasionally breaking through your haze as she dragged you into a conversation or made you clink glasses with her in some impromptu toast.

A/N: hey guys, hope you enjoyed my lil creation of westworld x alien: romulus, andy. tbh im so in love with the concept jajajaj...part 2 will be up tomorrow, trying not to spam posts...

[sunder-the-gold]

Do you think that Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was a series that was written by people who either hate the source material so much that they want to change it or love the source material so much that they want to make improvements to it?

First, I want to make it clear that I'm only strictly answering your question, and I'm not addressing the unrelated question of "Is Scott Pilgrim Takes Off any good?"

Second, a confession upfront. I haven't read Scott Pilgrim or watched the movie. I was definitely interested in watching this animated adaptation as my first introduction to the story, but I currently don't even have my own Netflix account, let alone have watched Takes Off for myself.

But I've been paying attention.

In that linked article, Grabinski, the writer for the 'adaptation', admitted that "There's a lot of ideas I did end up having that Bryan felt were wrong for Scott. Most of them end up in there..." (emphasis mine)

Have you heard about the Criterion of Embarrassment? It's the realization that historians had, that no person or nation would have a reason to record a lie about a great defeat or embarrassment. That if they passed such a story down in monuments, writing, or legends, it must be because they suffered a very real tragedy that they were desperate for their descendants to not repeat.

You may be more familiar with a modern take on the idea, through social media. "Posting your 'L's online", "telling on yourself", or "you could not have paid me to confess that".

Netflix is a corporation, and there is very little difference between a corporation and a nation. They seek profit to survive and grow stronger in a world filled with vicious rivals and would-be allies. Maintaining a strong, confident image keeps rivals from becoming too aggressive, and convinces would-be allies to continue investing support into what seems like a profitable venture.

Grabinski is a servant of Netflix, and will do his master's bidding for money.

Remember all the bullshit that Kevin Smith told the world about Revelations? Market strategy. Profit at any cost. Never admit when someone catches you with your pants down.

I'm not saying you should assume Grabinski's positive claims are lies. If a corporation tells me that grass is green and the sky is blue, I don't immediately assume everything I knew was a lie. That would be paranoid and self-defeating.

But what I will do is step outside to double-check, and see what the corporation may be lying about. The grass may currently be dead-brown, and the sky may currently be storm-green.

Grabinski admits that he asserted his vision in direct, knowing opposition that of the original creator, many times.

The same original creator who would have to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement with Netflix that would gag him from saying anything negative about a venture into which Netflix invests a lot of money. So we also have to remain skeptical of silence and a lack of counter-claims.

But although we have to take positive claims and silence with a grain of salt, we absolutely should believe someone when they confess something that they would have EVERY REASON to not make up or confess unless it was a genuine fear and embarrassment to them.

"There's a lot of ideas I did end up having that Bryan felt were wrong for Scott. Most of them end up in there…"

"At the end of the day, if I don't feel like I've gotten away with something or like I robbed a bank and I'm not getting arrested, then I kind of feel like I fucked up when I made something anyway."

"There was a very long time where I felt like someone was gonna knock on a door and say, ‘Actually, you guys shouldn't do this.'"

A guilty conscience, by itself, isn't absolute proof of guilt. A conscience can be burdened with unworthy premises.

But this man couldn't reorient his conscience despite working with Bryan on this project for THREE YEARS, while wanting us to believe that he has Bryan's full, uncoerced blessing. And Grabinski can't stop telling on himself.

So we must use those embarrassing confessions as a fork to winnow the chaff from the grain.

"Our rule was that nothing would go on the show that either of us didn't like..." which is a positive claim that directly contradicts the embarrassing confession that Grabinski directly defied the creator "many" times to include things that "felt wrong" for Scott Pilgrim.

"If there's something Bryan didn't think was funny, it didn't go in there." But he'd already confessed to including things Bryan didn't agree with, and everyone can find something funny on its own merits without agreeing that it should be funny or that it belongs in some particular piece of art.

The Test of Love

How do you know someone truly loves something? That they seek to serve it, and not merely to use it?

Jesus of Nazareth had some things to say about love.

When asked what God's most important command was, he didn't just answer that the most important command was to love God. Because anyone could claim they loved God and that everything they did was in service to God. Madmen and monsters have done terrible things 'in God's name'.

So Jesus also told the people what the second-most important command was, because obeying this second command is how you know whether someone truly loves God.

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Because when you hurt God's other children, you are hating God.

What Am I On About?

Netflix does not love Scott Pilgrim if it disrespects Scott Pilgrim fans.

Netflix does not respect Scott Pilgrim fans when it uses False Advertising to avoid the possibility that some of them wouldn't have watched Ramona Flowers Takes Over.

Netflix does not love the fans when it is counting on hurt feelings to drive internet backlash, and for backlash to give it free marketing through Tumblr controversy.

Netflix DOES NOT LOVE. It produces and consumes. It is a corporation, designed to profit and survive.

A corporation will only sell worthwhile products as long as it fears you won't otherwise buy its products. But if you buy its products after it has blatantly lied to you, the corporation loses some of its fear.

It will lie to you again. It will try bigger and nastier lies. Because it does not love you, and you stopped making it fear you.

Netflix already did this with Masters of the Universe: Revelations.

Square-Enix did this with the Final Fantasy 7: Remake.

The corporations are all watching eagerly to see how successful this strategy is. Because none of them love you, and they are always hungry.

A final word: "Even THOSE fans? But I hate those fans!"

I don't think someone who focuses on how Scott Pilgrim is a 'bad person' is superior in any way to someone who denies Scott Pilgrim is a 'bad person'.

I think both sorts of people are myopically using Scott Pilgrim as a way to deny that they are ALSO 'bad people'.

And this meme also applies to what even the other characters of the story conclude about both Scott and Ramona!

"You two deserve each other -- not in the sense that no one else is good enough for either of you, but in that both of you should be quarantined together."

Ramona doesn't deserve a free pass denied to Scott.

If Ramona Flowers can be a good character because she's a 'bad person' who selfishly hurt a lot of people and who has to go through an entire story where she confronts her flaws, makes peace with her past, and tries to improve as a person...

Then Scott Pilgrim was not a crime against humanity for getting VS The World to tell the same sort of story.

Guess what! We're ALL 'bad people' who have selfish desires, who don't fully understand other people or what we're doing to them, and who have to learn how to be better people!

You don't get to point at a main character with real, ugly, human flaws and say "I'm better than him, so he shouldn't exist!"

You don't get to ignore a main character's flaws and say, "He's perfect the way he is and so I have every right to act exactly like him without any criticism!"

Because when you deny you're another 'bad person' like the rest of us, you not only refuse to improve, you become an even WORSE person.

[spectrechosts]

Better Off Alone - Chapter 5

NEVER PUNISHED! Time for our princess to bend fate to her will!

Full Series

Lunaeris sat on her bed and watched her knight search for the source of an entirely fabricated noise she had claimed to be worried about.

She twiddled her thumbs before speaking cautiously. "So, you seem to remain… unsmote?"

"Yes, Princess." Her knight replied, equally wary. "And you, you're feeling better?"

"Oh yes, quite." The Princess said, nodding.

What an amateurish mistake, to let herself be consumed by the fires of her own emotions like that. Embarrassing.

"So it seems we're both fine. Unpunished for any… transgressions, that may have occurred."

"It would seem so, Princess."

Lunaeris began to laugh, quiet giggles building into full blown maniacal laughter. Neither man nor god could stop her from getting what she wanted, the world was hers for the taking.

"Kiss me, my knight." She ordered, and Kallixenia rolled her eyes and crossed the room to fulfill her request. Lunaeris buried her hand in her knight's hair as they kissed, holding her close.

She hummed happily as she broke the kiss, smug satisfaction written on her face. "Oh Kallie, I could order you to do that all day…" She said, before pushing her knight away gently and jumping to her feet. "However! I have a destiny to cheat!"

"Of course, Princess."

"Now, I have- Oh where did I put that?" Lunaeris said, pacing her room and shuffling through papers. "Aha! I have compiled a list of possibilities that could fulfill the terms of the prophecy while still allowing us to be together-"

"You had this list already prepared?" Kallixenia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No! Well, some of it is modified from an existing list, but I wrote this last night. I've felt so productive since we got back!" She said, practically bouncing around the room. "Now, the first section is things I had already come up with, to weasel out of the marriage entirely. It's- None of it is ideal, but they're possible outcomes that I could live with."

"Okay."

"So, first one: The hero shows up, saves me, we get married, and then I slit his throat on our wedding bed and run away."

"Princess!"

"It's not- I don't want to do that! It's just a way things could play out! Now the second one we've already discussed, one of my sister's husbands could die and then the whole prophecy might not be about me at all. I wouldn't bank on it, and I wouldn't arrange for it to occur, but it could happen. Probably not, though."

"How about we skip to the more ideal solutions, Princess?"

"Right, of course. Now, I want to preface this by saying there's no real timeframe given in the prophecy. I'm going to marry the one who saves me from the demon king, but I don't have to marry them immediately. Okay?" Said Lunaeris, slightly nervous to bring up her plans.

"Okay?"

"Sssoooo, hypothetically, since the only defining characteristic given of the hero is having the sword, it could really be anybody, we could just get a shining sword, or make one, and then I could pick who saves me." She paused, mouth dry. "For example, you."

"Me, Princess?" Her knight asked, eyes wide.

"It- Like I said, we wouldn't have to get married right away, and if you wanted to see other people that would be fine, but I think that I could, um. Be, happy, married to you. Eventually."

"Of course I'll do it, Princess. I'd do anything you asked of me." Kallixenia said softly.

"Well, you shouldn't just do it because I'm asking you to-"

"You would make me a very happy wife, Lunaeris."

"Ah." Lunaeris said, barely containing herself as her ears twitched and went pink. "W-Well, onto those plans then! So, number one: The hero shows up, we rob him and take his sword, you defeat the demon king."

"That feels… Unlikely." Kallixenia said, thoughtfully. "If your fate is to be saved by me, I don't know that a hero would show up for us to rob."

"Ah, but if no other hero shows up to get the sword from, how would you save me?" Lunaeris said, tapping the feather of her quill on her forehead before crossing out some lines on the list of plans. "We will assume there is no other hero. Simpler that way. Now, what do you know about the sun?"

"It's… bright and in the sky?"

"No, the composition of it. What's it made of?"

"Light?"

"No!" Lunaeris said, before pausing and thinking. "Well, maybe? Scholars disagree, but I've read a lot of books that posit that it's made of fire! And I can light a sword on fire, no problem!"

"And the sword would survive the process?"

"Yes! I'm not an expert on enchanting, but I did nab a book on it from my teacher when we visited. I can make you a fire sword and a light sword, just to be sure-"

"I don't know how to fight with two swords, Princess."

"You don't need to! I have the exact text of the prophecy here, see-"

The King of demons shall return, and attempt to sacrifice the Princess of elves to return to his full power. In her moment of need, a hero with a blade that shines as the sun will appear, to slay the demon king and take her hand in marriage.

"-Now, there's a lot of nuance here that I didn't get in my father's condensed retelling of it. A lot that's open to interpretation. For example! You don't actually have to use the sword to slay him, you just have to have it with you."

"That… seems like cheating?" The paladin said, not entirely following the Princess's ramblings.

"Of course it does! We're trying to cheat! But according to the letter of the prophecy, it counts. So we'll give you two swords. And we can do temporary or permanent enchantments, but I think permanent is probably better, so I'll get to work on the materials and inscriptions we need, and-"

Kallixenia cut her off with a kiss.

"You're so cute when you get excited about a scheme, Lunaeris." She hummed, her voice devastatingly low and rumbling.

"I- Aha- Well-" Lunaeris babbled, caught off guard.

"I should go before anyone gets suspicious, I'll leave you to your preparations. Goodnight, my lady."

"Goodnight, my… knight. Haha."

Lunaeris flopped into her bed as the paladin left, a dopey smile on her face.

Her knight. Her hero. Her wife!

She would make her the best swords.

[v0rd1g4n]

The Thundermans Return

All right, I've finally watched the movie and just like old times, I have to give my honest opinion.

But first things first. It's been 6 years since the finale was aired and I must say I was so excited when Kira shared on her Instagram account, that they were making a movie and she was executive producer.

Since there was practically nothing filmed back then, I thought it was going to be for teenagers or adults, just like the revival of iCarly or Zoey 102, but I was wrong.

After watching the trailer I realized it was for kids, just like the original show, which wasn't that big of a deal and I watched the movie two days after the day of its release on Paramount+ and here are my thoughts.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The movie starts with the family saving Metroburg from a meteor shower, using every one of their powers, something Hank could've easily taken care of, but still, it was pretty cool though.

And I have to say, those suits were awesome. They remind me of those kind of tactical suits wore by a few characters from TV Shows like Arrow or Supergirl. It was good to see the whole cast together after one more time. Also, those who were kids back in the day, looked like different actors, after only 6 years.

But anyway. After that, the title rolls and the family gathers in the headquarters, ready to spend a family night, but all Phoebe wants is to keep saving the day and is implied that she and Max have been doing that for quite some time.

They find a crime in progres but instead of letting other supes to handle for that night, the twins force their family to go stop a villain from robbing a bank.

They all teleport to the crime scene but things don't go as they expected, and due to Pheobe's orders, they end up injuring one of the V-Team members, as the other two stop the villain and save the day.

I don't know know they lost control of the situation like that. 7 supes against 1 villain, that's just too much. This is something Max and Phoebe could've screwed up by themselves, but well.

Soon, President Kickbutt shows up to inform that due to the injuried hero, they are gonna be replaced by the V-Team as well as get kicked out of the Hero League, which brings them back to Hiddenville.

And this is when we learn that the Thunderman family have been working as the T-Force at Metroburg for solid 3 years, leaving their old lifestyle behind.

Now everyone try to fit in their old town again. Max goes to his lair and finds Dr. Colosso having a tiki party with his furry friends. They talk about what happened and then Phoebe shows up to speak to him and they both seem to agree on using their powers for good, to which Dr. Colosso just laughs at them.

Then we see that Nora has finally outgrown from wearing bows and she makes it very clear by lasering the one Barb was holding for her. Then she and Hank see that Chloe is getting ready to go to the park while carrying a skateboard. They're scared something might happen to her, but let her go anyway, which makes them feel useless parents.

See the pattern here?

In the meantime, Billy and Nora are now attending to Hiddenville High, which by the way, doesn't make Principal Bradford and his ponytail very happy.

It was refreshing to see Billy and Nora as teenagers. Just like Max and Phoebe at the beginning of season 1.

As for the twins, Phoebe meets with Cherry at Splatburger, hoping to find a job soon and Max on the other hand, meets there too with his friends from the band, for old times' sake.

It was really cool to see all these funny characters once again. I had a lot of memories from "Never Friending Story", "Parents Just Don't Thunderstand" or "Exit Stage Theft".

At the same time, we see the V-Team is visiting Metroburg Superjail and we find out that they're actually a group of supervillains posing as heroes; the children of King Crab, Strongdor, and Dark Mayhem.

Their plan is simple: create an army of supervillains with a secret object hidden by the Hero League. The old guys had a plan that only boomers would understand, but is discarted immediately.

Later, Max and Phoebe are still trying to get back in the Hero League as the Tree Force, but then realize that their family doesn't want to fight crime anymore, so they're alone with this.

And man, this is always funny. I always liked all those jokes involving Max and Phoebe wearing costumes or disguises to go unnoticed. Not to mention that dweeb thing at the end of the scene xD

So much memories!

Then, back Max's lair Dr. Colosso helps Max to find out who the V-Team members really are, as Phoebe does the same by herself. Now both of them are aware that the V-Team is a group of villains.

And this is when Pheebs finally suits up as Thundergirl to go stop the bad guys alone. I wonder why they used the old suit, instead of the one with the skirt.

Who am I fooling? She looks good with both.

Back in Hidennville High, Nora and Billy are trying their best to make new friends and they only succeed the moment they start showing off their powers in front of everyone.

Leading to a small arguing between them, that ends with a tragedy for Bradford.

Meanwhile in Metroburg, the V-Team is desperately looking for the object they need. Then we learn that Dark Mayhem Jr. has the same sadistic habit Nora has; to laser poeple willy-nilly, ever since he was a kid.

Then Phoebe shows up, trying to enter by force in their old headquarters and stop all of them, but Max surprises her from behind and drags her back to hide from the villains, while watching them closely.

However, at some point they screw it up and get caught by the V-Team.

Back in Hiddenville, Hank and Barb are still worried about Chloe hanging out at the park with some new friends, so they ask uncle Blobbin a helicopter to go take care of her from the sky.

I never was a fan of uncle Blobbin, but it was cool this character was included for a small scene.

And yeah, looks like Hank and Barb are going throught the same crisis they went, when Max and Phoebe decided to celebrate their birthday by throwing a party at Wong's Pizza Palace. Their victims back then were Billy and Nora, now is young Chloe.

Anyway, they have a little accident (thanks to Cherry) and the helicopter crashes on the park. The two of them are fine, but all this makes Chloe realize that they've been spying on her all along and gets mad at them.

At the same time, Max and Phoebe are being interrogated by the V-Team, tied up with their own capes. I wish they were shown losing a fight against the villains at least, because it is implied that's what happened off screen. Just saying.

To me, there's no way they could've lost a fight against those villains, not with their multiple powers. Frozen by freeze breath, knocked out agains a wall with telekinesis, electrically shocked with the twin power, etc. And these are only non-letal options, but anyway.

Their goal is to get the Acacía Fantasticus, a very rare plant that can give people superpowers, either good (blue) or evil (red).

They mention that people from the past known for demonstrating superpowers had eaten the seeds of this plant, which is interesting, since they're finally revealing the origin of superpowers in the Thundermans world.

However, the way is gonna be presented seems like a terrible idea, but I'll talk about it later.

Since the twins don't have any idea where the power plant is, they're taken to Mayhem café, Dark Mayhem's old lair with a special booth perfectly designed to torture every member of the Thundermans family.

They activate it, and this is when the Thundertwins die horribly ☹️

Nah, I'm joking 🤣

I'm gonna have to leave it here, since Tumblr has a new limit of 30 pictures per post, so here's the end of Part 1.

Stay tunned for Part 2.

[epic-arc]

Spider-Knight 11: Identity theft

Team R_BY and team JNPR were sitting in the break room having breakfast until they noticed Weiss entering the room with an angry expression on her face. She was holding a newspaper and placed it against the table with force.

Weiss: This news is completely false! These photos are definitely montages or something!!

Yang: Wow calm down ice queen, You seem angrier than usual why don't you tell us what made you so angry.

Weiss sighed and sat down with her friends and picked up the newspaper and read to them ''Spider Knight is seen robbing banks and ATMs in the city of Vale, Could the knight be showing his true intentions?''

Nora: Impossible, why would Spider Knight do something like that? He's not that kind of person!

Blake :Yeah, Nora got a point but maybe he is a hero and then he steals in secret and these photos were taken while he was stealing on the sly.

Weiss sighed and slapped her hands against the table and spoke slightly blushing but with a determined expression on her face. Which would draw the attention of both teams to her.

Weiss: You may have made some points but I've seen up close how the spider knight acts and he's not a dirty thief and I won't believe what the newspaper is doing!

Weiss would leave the room with a few quick steps and throw the newspaper in the trash, Yang would let out a few low laughs at seeing Weiss stressed, The scene would cut to a warehouse where Roman Emerald and ''Spider Knight'' would be sitting counting the money he had stolen from the banks and ATMs.

Roman: Look, I never thought that pretending to be a hero would make us money so easily!

Spider Knight: ''Well, when you have good planning you can achieve everything.''

''Spider knight'' took off his mask showing that he was neopolitan which deactivated hers semblance showing that hers was wearing hers normal clothes but on her neck has a voice modulator and on her hands have fake web shooters and gloves that stick to the walls.

Emerald: Well, you can continue celebrating, but our work isn't finished yet.

Emerald said that while sitting on top of a crate and took a notebook and typed on it, Roman noticed and approached looking at what were plans and escape routes for a party that would take place on a boat to introduce new defense products to vale.

Roman: Look, I know that you and your little friend Cindy came to the city to make Ozpin's life hell, but where do neo and I get into this? Where does our payment come into your plan?

Emerald sighed and rolled her eyes, showing neo and roman the list of guests who will be at the event.

Emerald: At this event there will only be important members so while I can steal the technology you two can steal jewelry or money that the guests have.

Roman and Neo look at each other and then look at Emerald with a malicious smile. Time would pass and Spider Knight would be swinging around the city to think about things and what was written in the newspaper.

Spider Knight(Mind): I never thought I would be looking for myself, I even thought about calling nora to help me in this case, but I didn't want to risk this situation getting any worse…

Spider knight was swinging until he heard someone whistling and he would look to his right seeing Blaze cat sitting on top of a gargoyle with a smile on her face and then he would swing towards her and sit next to Blaze.

Blaze cat: Hi crime spider, I was hoping we would see each other on this beautiful night~

Spider Knight: Look, I'm innocent, I have no connection with that impostor.

Blaze cat: I know silly, You're too innocent to want to rob a bank, But you know if you follow me maybe I can show you something not so innocent~

Blaze cat would jump from the gargoyle that was on top and use its ropes to jump from building to building and spider knight would follow her until they both stopped in a building that had a view of the port where the party was having on the boat.

Spider Knight: Ok, you took me to see a boat that has a lot of fancy people… Ok, I understand what you're saying..

Blaze cat: Well, I brought you here to help you regain your image as a city hero.

The two jumped out of the building and walked towards the port casually and leaned against the wall of the boat as it left. The two managed to get on the boat and look at the boat's visitors to see any suspicious action. Inside the party room that was inside the boat, there would be a speech and presenting a model of super strength gauntlet until the lights went out and ''spider knight'' appeared on the ceiling making the lights come on.

Spider Knight: ''Look what a surprise guys, your friend from the neighborhood spider knight came to visit you but now you can give me whatever jewelry and money you have if you don't want to suffer a lot of pain.''

Roman, who was in a hallway disguised as a waiter, told Neo on the radio that 3 guards were coming after her. She would listen and throw a strong web-shaped rope, trapping them against the wall.

Spider Knight: ''My insect senses can make me perceive everything so don't even try anything. Now put everything precious in the bag!''

The scared guests would take off their jewelry and money and place them in web-shaped bags that would be on the floor. When the bags were full they would be hit by white webs. The guests and ''spider knight'' looked in the direction they came from and saw the real spider knight.

Spider Knight: ''Look, the impostor is here, did you come here to play the hero just in case?''

Spider Knight: I came here to show people who the real Spider Knight is.

The two spiders are fighting and while that time Roman would take the gauntlets but Blaze cat noticed and started fighting against him and made him faint but he would make a malicious smile and take the gauntlets going to where Emerald was and handing them over, The guards would find Roman passed out and arrested him. The fight would continue until Jaune would use the tentacles of his costume to hold back ''Spider Knight'' and take off his mask showing that he was Neo.

Spider Knight: Do you have any other comments to tell me about imposter?

Neo would listen to what Spider Knight was saying and blow him a kiss and then dismiss herself as if sheNeo listened to what Spider Knight was saying and blew him a kiss and then disappeared as if she were breaking glass. It would be confusing, but after a while he was at the port with the other guests and until Yuri approached him.

Yuri Watanabe: It's good to know that you're not a real criminal, and we're going to investigate what Roman has to do with this whole operation.

Spider Knight: I'm glad I could help and find the culprit.

Yuri Watanabe: I wanted to know if you have any suspicions as to who may have stolen the grimm that was being studied.

Jaune was about to speak but then he stopped and thought as if he were someone telling him ''You can't say that you're with the grimm he's helping you, he's making you stronger''

Spider Knight: I have no idea but I hope I can help in the future with this case.

Some police officers caught the attention of Yuri and Spider Knight who would go to the police truck and see that Roman wasn't there, just a police officer in his underwear.