#i've never listened to a Lana Del Ray song again and i never will

[gracefullou]

i hope you don’t mind me sending this ask, but i saw you talking about louies insulting and saying horrible shit about louis for “supporting an abuser” and not signing the palestine letter. i went on twitter and it’s really bad. i’d expect it from la/rries who clearly only love ha/rry and see louis as nothing but an attachment to him, but louies??? solo louies??? his own fans??? i don’t know, as much as i may not agree with some of his actions/opinions i would never think of speaking about him in that way. it’s like these people aren’t even his fans. i may want him to speak up about the ongoing genocide, but as you said, in a sincere way, but the industry is run by zionists so i get why he can’t. as you said, it seems like they think they own louis, when that’s not right at all.

with liam there’s a level of loyalty and he’s just too good (he’s a leo moon through and through). him supporting liam doesn’t surprise me because he does that a lot. also, maya’s book hasn’t even come out yet, so i prefer not to jump into conclusions before it’s out. so yeah, the point is i can’t believe this behavior from his so called fans and it’s really frustrating to see. reminded me why i never go on twitter and why i prefer to stay on my corner of the fandom

sorry to rant in your inbox but you are very logical about all of this and i feel like you understand. hope you have a good day

My thoughts exactly! Honestly, i'm tired of his fans speaking in this weird and frankly offensive tone about him any chance they got. Like they never miss a beat. Never in my life have i seen a fandom calling out their fav for supporting an "abuser" just bc his bandmate's ex-gf posted about a book she wrote with a few trigger warnings. At least wait until the book is out and you can read it 😬. As far as the speaking on the genocide against Palestinians, i said what i think several times no matter how unpopular that opinion might be. Also, not to be that person but i honestly think it's time they stopped with the i'm so disappointed in him tweets every two seconds like sorry but if it means that much to you that he speaks up and it's something that you really can't get over (doubtful bc most of these people were talking for days about the SB and TS and her bf's kiss which btw i never see them calling her out and expressing their disappointement even though she's the biggest star in the world and can actually get away with a pro-Palestine statement and make an impact. Some were even excited and hoping for a zionists Usher and JB performance), just unstan and call it a day. It's not that hard. And i mean this sincerely, if this is a limit for you, just unstan him (and almost every other celebrity on the planet).

[lalaballa]

Notes on The World’s First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip:

What if Lizzy and Genie refer to Thin Lizzy and Bowie's Jean Genie?

You and Lizzy in the summertime // Wrappin' my tiny mind round a lullaby

Tlsp, NME interview 19/1/08

Plus: Alex in 2018 debunked the Lana del Ray association: In an interview with Beats 1 at the Osheaga festival on 4th August, Alex Turner debunked this rumour stating, “No, its not [a reference to Lana del Ray]… it’s an objective correlative.” (Genius)

And... sweet info: "The Boys Are Back In Town" was the first song played post gig during The Car tour 🥹

You and Genie wearing Stetson hats // Tryna gain access to my lily pad...

I'm just a bad girl tryna be good // I've got a laser guidin' my love that I cannot adjust

Verse 1 and Chorus of Jean Genie, from Bowie's Aladdin Sane:

Genius notes are very interesting: "Apart from just the part of a chimney that sticks out above a roof? Possibly he’s talking about dicks. We already know that the Jean Genie spends a lot of time “on his back,” and “chimney stacks” are pretty phallic as images go. Plus, the name “Jean Genie” has been associated with the (gay, male) French existentialist Jean Genet. So the lyrics might be suggesting here that Jean Genie likes the D. Or it could be a nonsense phrase. It definitely wouldn’t be the first or last time Bowie stuffed his songs full of nonsense phrases."

Alex and Miles LOVE Aladdin Sane:

1. The singer also revealed why he’s had enough of David Bowie’s track ‘Time’. “I’ve been trying to fix a humming in my home stereo – it’s in the right speaker,” he said. “David Bowie’s album ‘Aladdin Sane’ has been sitting on the turntable so I’ve been playing ‘Time’ – the first song on the second side – whenever I’ve tried to solve the problem. I must have heard that song thousands of times this week… I’ll never be able to listen to it again.” NME, 19/3/13

2. AT: I love the whole Ziggy Stardust period, with “Hang on to yourself”, “Five Years” and “Rock ’n’ Roll Suicide”. But it’s true that “Aladdin Sane” is incredible, it’s got “Drive-in Saturday” and, above all, the grandiose “Lady Grinning Soul”. X

So, what if Lizzy and Jeanie invoke a certain mood or memory in the narrator's life? Who/What are they?

* ps. regarding milex references in WFEMTFF, "in the mood for love" is for miles and I will die on this hill !!

[fanaticsnail]

I remember you mentioned having a Mihawk playlist, and the way you manage to find songs that perfectly fit the vibes of your fics and enhance the reading experience is one of the things I love about your writing

So I was wondering if you could share some of the songs on your playlist? Or even some songs that you associate with certain characters/tropes/scenarios?

I always love it when you send me asks, @sexc-snail.

I absolutely DO have a Mihawk playlist. I share the playlist construction with another creator on Tumblr who I love, cherish and adore: @sordidmusings. We add to it as we write, recommend songs as they come to us to help with words in works.

I could get into a long, long rant about music so I will add a page break here ❤. Lots of song recs to follow for the OPLA cast so far.

I am a violinist; have been playing for 25 years this year (I AM GETTING OLD, JEEPERS CREEPERS). Music is a great, passionate love affair for me and I adore learning about songs and pieces new and old. Here are some recommendations for songs and vibes I associate with the characters and the tropes.

I never add lyrics to my fics so the readers can visualize their own favourite melodies where they see fit, but I do have tunes in mind when I write them. The only fic I've really centralised a song about is the "You Should Be Sad" Mihawk fic I wrote a while back and the Koby series I'm writing.

Here are some song recommendations: all songs are Spotify linked. Enjoy a peek into my madness.

For the Characters

Luffy:

Long Way Home: Walk off the Earth, Lindsay Stirling

Following the Sun: SUPER-Hi, NEEKA

La Isla Bonita: Madonna

Zoro

Work Song: Hozier

Promise: Voyager

Cold Shot: Stevie Ray Vaughan

Sanji

Love Story: Indila

Know You Girls: Franz Ferdinand

Family Line: Conan Grey

Nami (She gets four, because she's amazing and I love her)

Runaway: Aurora

My Mother Told Me: NATI, Cullen Vance, Jonny Stewart

Outside: Ellie Golding, Calvin Harris

Queen of the Kings: Alessandra

Usopp

Mechanical Instinct: Aviators

The Higher Ground: Red Hot Chili Peppers

Eastside: Benny Blanco, Halsey, Khalid

Buggy

Be Your Shadow: The Wombats

Gasoline: Halsey

I Wanna Be Your Slave: Maneskin

Shanks:

The One that Got Away: The Civil Wars

Atlantis: Seafret

Barton Hollow: The Civil Wars

Mihawk

Seven Nation Army: Postmodern Jukebox

My Heart With You: The Rescues

The Snake: Lana Lubany

Koby (He also gets four, because he deserves only good things, and because Morgan Davies is Aussie like me)

Grieve No More: Patty Gurdy

Siuil A Run: Ella Roberts

Mad World: Jasmine Thompson

Again: Flyleaf

Helmeppo

Fighter: Christina Aguilera

Torn: Natalie Imbruglia

Elastic Heart: Sia

Garp

Sharp Dressed Man: ZZ Top

Under a Violet Moon: Blackmores Night

Billie Jean: The Civil Wars

For the Tropes

Unrequitted Love (My all time favourite thing)

Wrecking Ball: Beth

Can't Help Falling in Love: Tommee Profitt, Brooke

I Found: Amber Run

Comptine d'un autre ete l'apres-midi: Yann Tierson

Derniere Danse: Indila

Only in my Mind: Kenya Grace

Over and Over: Three Days Grace

Broken Pieces: Apocalyptica Lacey

Too Close: Alex Clare

Stupid Heart: Sorana

Enemies to Lovers

FMLYHM: Sether

Closer: NIN

Hella Good: No Doubt

Play With Fire: Sam Tinnesz, Yacht Money

Why'd You Only Ever Call Me When You're High: Arctic Monkeys

For when they give into their feelings:

Surrender: Natalie Taylor

As the World Caves In: Sarah Cothran

Freeze You Out: Marina Kaye

Say Yes To Heaven: Lana Del Rey

For when they give up but feelings are still there

Lose you to love me: Selena Gomez

Liar: Camilla Cabello

Darkside: Alan Walker

Say My Name: David Guetta, Bebe Rexha, J Balvin

Only Love Can Hurt Like This: Paloma Faith

I See Red: Everybody Loves an Outlaw

If you made it this far, thank you. This was a labour of love. Happy listening ❤

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Bedeviled Playlist

Hello babies 💗 this is a collection of songs for Bedeviled. Whether you listen to them while reading or just whenever, I hope you like it!

These are songs I either stumbled upon, listened to years ago and just found again, or are instrumentals I've listened to while writing. It's insane how many of them fit with bedeviled 🍎🥀

Songs will continue to be added!!! Have fun crying 🤠

Vocals:

In Another Lifetime- Zoe Sky Jordan

The Last Words You Said- Sarah Brightman

In Another Lifetime- Sophia Fredskild

Never Get To Heaven- Sarah Blaine

Never Get To Heaven (slow version)- Sarah Blaine

This Broken Soul- Rebecca Kneubuhl

Everything is Lost- Maggie Eckford

Angels Like You- Miley Cyrus

Lullaby- Josh Groban

I Miss You, I'm Sorry- Gracie Abrams

Locksmith- Sadie Jean

Remember Me- Ivan Torrent

You Broke My Heart Again- Teqkoi

When the World Stops Spinning- Kyler England

Hero- Faouzia

Devil Doesn't Bargain- Alec Benjamin

Castles Crumbling (Taylor's version)- Taylor Swift

Open Your Eyes- School of Seven Bells

Last Kiss (Taylor's version)- Taylor Swift (thank you to the anonnie that brought this to my attention ❤)

Say Yes to Heaven- Lana Del Ray

Instrumentals:

Nitty Gritty- Lova (thank you to the anonnie that brought this to my attention 🩷) check out the MV as well!

Innocence- Cannon Division

What Are Words- Chris Medina

Jacob and the Stone- Emile Mosseri

I Know The End x Scott Street remix- Phoebe Bridgers

Sad Emotional Piano (1 hour version)- Ambient Feelings

Epic Inspirational Music Mix (1 hr)- Epic Battle

[viviennevermillion]

Hugging Malleus after his overblot

I have made another, hopefully, lyrically accurate Twisted Wonderland playlist, this time to cure the heartache Chapter 7 has caused me.

Listen to it here

╰┈➤ 1. trustfall • nicole milik

picture a place where it all doesn't hurt, where everything's safe and it doesn't get worse...oh my...we see through bloodshot eyes; picture a place, somewhere else far away, where you know what they mean and they mean what they say to us and would that be enough? [...] close your eyes and leave it all behind, go where love is on our side, it's a trust fall

╰┈➤ 2. dust to dust • the civil wars

you've held your head up; you've fought the fight. you bear the scars and you've done your time. listen to me, you've been lonely too long. let me in the walls you've built around; we can light a match and burn them down; let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flames in front of us...dust to dust

╰┈➤ 3. forgive me friend • smith & thell

i promised you that we would never change; that you and me would always stay the same....how i let you down....and I guess that we don't mean to be falling apart, but you will always have a special place in my heart; i never wanted this to end; can you forgive me, friend?

╰┈➤ 4. rescue • lauren daigle

i hear the whisper underneath your breath; i hear you whisper, you have nothing left...i will send out an army to find you in the middle of the darkest night; it's true, I will rescue you; I will never stop marching to reach you

╰┈➤ 5. walk with me • the hound + the fox

i'm okay as i could be and i'm afraid as i should be; but i keep moving because i can, hardly...and i am choosing all i am. they say what goes away just might come back...but i don't want that. walk with me.

╰┈➤ 6. all will be well • the gabe dixon band

the new day dawns and I am practicing my purpose once again; it is fresh and it is fruitful if I win but if I lose...oh, I don′t know; i'll be tired but I will turn and I will go, only guessing till I get there then I′ll know [...] all will be well; even after all the promises you've broken to yourself; all will be well, you can ask me how but only time will tell

╰┈➤ 7. ooh child • milck

some day we'll get it together and we'll get it all done, some day when your head is much lighter; some day we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun, someday when the world is much brighter; ooh child, things are gonna get easier

╰┈➤ 8. my heart is buried in venice • ricky montgomery

come rest your bones next to me and toss all your thoughts to the sea, i'll pull up each of our anchors so we can get lost, you and me; my heart is buried in venice, hidden beneath all my worries and doubts; my heart is buried in venice, waiting for someone to take it home

╰┈➤ 9. yes to heaven • lana del ray

if you go I'll stay; you come back I'll be right here like a barge at sea; in the storm I stay clear 'cause i've got my mind on you...i've got my mind on you; say yes to heaven, say yes to me

╰┈➤ 10. call the nightingale • vian izak

there is heartache on your lips and your heart's a foreign house and your soul is full of rips; but don't be scared of the dark, it's been less bite and more bark; don't be scared of the end, life always begins again with the songs of nightingales

[owliellder]

Music Recs (for writing)

I thought it would be fun to make a post of the type of music I listen to when I'm writing while also providing music recommendations cause i love finding new music myself. obviously I'll add more as I go along

I use music to help with feelings (like angst, love, fluff, etc) since I struggle conveying those naturally and I only really use apple music because spotify has always evaded me, so I'm literally just going to write each song and then link it on youtube 😭

also heads up, my music taste is EVERYWHERE so there is no rhyme or reason to any of this

Fluff/Happy Mix:

Fall On Me by R.E.M.

Fresh by Daft Punk

Keep Feeling Fascination by The Human League

Around and Around by John Denver

Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits

Feel It All Around by Washed Out (don't mind me, just adding Washed Out's entire discography here)

You'll See It by Washed Out

Angst:

Veridis Quo by Daft Punk

Face to Face by Daft Punk

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

It's Raining Again by Supertramp

Take The Long Way Home by Supertramp

Eyes Without a Face by Billy Idol

Goodbye Again by John Denver

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve (this is a very specific type of angst I feel)

Belong by Washed Out

Phone Call by Washed Out (this version of the song can only be found on youtube)

You and I by Washed out (again, this specific version is only on youtube)

Clap Intro by Washed Out

What Once Was by Hers

Just Wait Til Next Year by John Maus

Sprawling Idiot Effigy by Nero's Day at Disneyland (I do not suggest you listen to this one unless experimental music is your thing cause I tend to listen to Nero's Day at Disneyland when I am too under-stimulated to write)

(In) Love:

Love Story (Instrumental) by Lana Del Ray (I put this on loop for hours it's such a beautiful instrumental)

Digital Love by Daft Punk

Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths

Linger by The Cranberries

Annie's Song by John Denver

The ENTIRE Paracosm album by Washed Out (trust me on this one it all flows as one song)

Eyes Be Closed by Washed Out

Amor Fati by Washed Out

Everything in You by Adventure Time (ft Half Shy) (the Fionna and Cake series ruined me)

Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues, London Festival Orchestra

Baby I'm Yours by Cass Elliot

Stay by Oingo Boingo

Spice 😈:

not a lot of this yet since i tend to listen to my BG music when writing smut

Lose Yourself to Dance by Daft Punk

Make Love by Daft Punk

Hurt/Comfort:

Something About Us by Daft Punk

Instant Crush by Daft Punk (ft. Julian Casablancas) (I really like Daft Punk)

Why (12" Version) by Carly Simon

Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

Back Home Again by John Denver

Poems, Prayers, and Promises by John Denver (I also really like John Denver)

Kids by MGMT

The Ghost Inside by Broken Bells

Andromeda by Weyes Blood

Luck by Washed Out

Far Away by Washed Out

Fly Away by John Denver

General Scene Building/BG:

now this is my favorite part since these are what I use most often when writing. you can pick out obvious tone indicators here in the titles 😭

a way i've learned to tap into certain feelings for when i'm writing is by using my own feelings on personal experiences, so a lot of these playlists i'm linking I have a lot of personal connection to (also because they're all so damn specific)

you're inside the last memories of a dying person (playlist) by nobody

you're an astronaut lost in space (playlist) by nobody

i feel like i've been here before (playlist) by nobody

|| nobody here || Silent Hill fog core playlist by Armand Tormo

February 22, 2001 - A liminal playlist by Dan

recalling moments of a christmas that never happened (playlist) by nobody

you're visiting the grave of an old friend while remembering the moments you spent together (playlist) by nobody

you found a place where spring is eternal (playlist) by nobody

you're staring at the ceiling while creating romanticized stories in your head (playlist) by nobody

you're walking under the golden trees watching the melancholic leaves dancing in the air (playlist) by nobody

Lost in the Poolrooms (a visual vaporwave mix) by K1K1n

Music for Vibin' on Jupiter's Hydrogen Sea (vaporwave mix) by olimar124

Unknown Songs (Lost Media Comp.) by Christopher Cherigo (one of my hyperfixations is unknown songs lololol)

[chaoticfandomgirly]

hiii not an anon but definitely curious. What are ur current top ten favourite songs or like top ten songs on repeat ?

Ohhh...OK. So, my preference for songs is very fickle. One day I would be blasting a particular song on repeat, others a particular artist or genre or I would just leave my Playlist on shuffle.

But these days, I think I would have to say these are the songs i have on repeat but I can't really say if they're my fav tho-

1) Maroon by taylor swift bc it's helping me write a story

2) Eye of the tiger

3) Dancing Queen- tho it's Abba as a whole

4) Don't cry for your daughter's Eve -it's such a good song

5) Too Sweet- though any song of hozier tbh

6) Wait for it - Yes I'm a theatre geek

7) Heartbreak Weather by Niall Horan

8) Chemtrails Over the Country Club - Any Lana del ray tbh but this song I've listened to most by her this month.

9) Killer Queen - Queen is an all time favorite

10) immigrant song by led zeppelin

11) Honourable mentions- R5 (I can never skip their songs), One Direction, AC/DC, Arctic Monkeys and Britney Spears.

While these songs are pretty mainstream, my interest kinda fluctuates. A month ago I was obsessed with Arctic Monkeys. And for half a year it was taylor swift (still love her but my obsessions change) . Anyways thank for reading my rant on your relatively simple question which wasn't simple enough for me. It's the same with books, movies and even colours tbh. But yes, ask me again in a month and you would probably hv a diff answer.

[just-lndifference]

I'm convinced this year is just a dream or simulation or something because generally what the fuck is happening.

someone I looked up to for 5 years that I originally named myself after turned out to be an abuser and wrote the most chat gbt ass ""apology"" and only cares that shubble was brave enough to speak out. (SUPPORT VICTIMS)

taylor swift announced her 5th album in 5 years (not including re records) WHILE WINNING A GRAMMY. and then being the amazing woman she is became the first person in history to win aoty 4 times.

twenty one pilots not only announced a new album, but is open with the lore and released a single that is one of the best songs they've ever made. when clancy drops this whole fandom is cooked.

this is the first time I've genuinely been terrified because of an election. if trump wins I genuinely don't think I'll be safe in this country because of project 2025. I'm a bisexual nonbinary person, I will never have a chance to get gender affirming health care and will lose the right to get married. and that's just the stuff that will happen to me! I can't imagine how scared people that are in more affected groups then me feel if I'm this scared. I know he's a horrible option but if your seeing this and old enough to vote in america PLEASE vote for biden. independents just don't have a chance, yes he funds a genocide but trump will too, and hell do much worse things. as a minor I'm literally begging y'all to think of everyone who isn't old enough to vote yet.

erm this is very unserious compared to the last part of my rant but I like lana del rey now!! 😭 obviously not her as a person (free palestine) but her music. and this is a major unseen development I've aggressively trashed lana and her fans since midnights came out bc of snow on the beach (turns out that it's just a really shit song 🙏). idk shout out to the person who made me feel obligated to listen to born to die (album)

also my henry danger hyperfixation from when I was 10 just decided to resurface?? like yes I had it for like 4 years BUT WHY IS IT BACK HELLO??? idk but ray is like super hot now that I'm older and I really want to date his goofy ass 😭😭 I remember not liking him much for some reason but like.. he's just a silly little guy.. babygirl if you will.. just a little rat boy..

I accidentally convinced 2 people to read the forest fic (neither were clikkies and I just met one of them). I don't think anything more needs to be said I made 2 full grown adults cry over a band they've never listened too 😭🙏

on that note joshler is big on twitter again but it's widely accepted?? idk what happened there but a good chunk of the art on my tl is clancy x torchbearer and I honestly don't mind.

jason kelce retired. in my family it's a thing to hate the eagles but holy shit I cried so much. the edits literally fucking destroyed me. I had no idea how much of an amazing person he was until taylor started dating travis and I wish I had more time to be a fan of this wonderful man while he was still on the field. he's so goofy and always made me laugh, I genuinely love the guy now.

the chiefs once again won the superbowl, I was honestly terrified the whole time and cried a few times that was the most stressful game of my life. I'm so fr I tried to get a rep tv announcement date from the disney plus commercial, taylor immediately being shown when the game came back on with a chiefs jacket that magically appeared out of nowhere that had a number that wasn't a player I lost my shit 💀

I could go on for hours, and it's only March. genuinely so much shit has happened and I'm not ready for more.

[i-ideate]

I've never really liked Lana del Rays music. She has a fantastic voice, and I do enjoy her style, but when I listen to her on shuffle its almost like I'm hearing the same song again and again. Not really anything to do with lyrics, but her music is just very formulaic in my opinion, with rare occasions of spicing it up and going for a different style. Her voice does in fact fit the sad girl type music, but I think (like Sam said) if she stepped out a bit her music would just be so much more enjoyable.

I also don't like Taylor Swift for similar reasons. I mean, apart from me not getting the best vibes about her morals (which believe me I knew nothing about when I first formulated these opinions), I think her music and mainly lyrics can come off as trying too hard to be rebellious or seem deep and poetic. She has some potential, don't get me wrong, and there are a few songs of hers I enjoy! I just feel like that potential is being abused in a sense, setting out songs so quickly we barely get time to think properly. And as much as it's fun to get a new album every few months, it also limits the artists creativity and just how thorough the music is. Is it impressive she can write a bridge really quickly? Yes. But when she (or really any artist) does it for like every song, it makes you wonder if they're really putting that much thought into it, you know?

Arctic monkeys album AM also unfortunately falls under the formula problem. A formula I very much enjoy, but a formula nonetheless. However its just an album (I havent really taken a proper listen to their other music) so it isnt too annoying.

Oh yeah, and for the theatre kids.

Hamilton, IMO, isnt the best most amazing musical in the world. Its up there (Solid 8.5/10). Six and heathers are tied and a solid 7/10, and beetlejuice also gets an 8.5/10. I think its just general style, but idk I just dont seem to enjoy them as much as everyone hypes em up. I think it could just be that little lack of enjoyment (almost ick?) I get when I hear the same song again and again because of social media overuse (leading me to begin to dislike certain songs and artists. Took a solid month off Marina because Hollywood wouldn't leave my feed) or maybe just the heavy pop influence in musicals like SIX.

hey post your music hot takes

I'll go first: The Smiths, regardless of influence, make terrible, cheesy, miserable music that is never worth listening to in any situation. And you can say "oh, you just don't get it" and... yeah. Thank God I don't get it. How miserable and sad do you have to be to get the Smiths? This is probably the hot take of mine that I will stand by the most.

Very often, technical ability significantly takes away from how enjoyable music is. For example, a lot of singers who have perfect pitch and are able to sing like perfect vibrato and stuff like that don't realize that stepping out of the lines a little is what gives music flavor and life. I'll make an exception for Jacob Collier because he steps out of the lines in so many other ways and is clearly just in it for the love of the music but he also lacks a lot of soul in his work.

@i-ideate @pansshawarma lmk you lot I wanna know

[baiboop]

GUYS! i was listening to get free by lana del ray the other day on my bike ride and just randomly it just hit me this song is about seasons 1-5 sam.

let me tell you my analysis:

Finally... I'm crossing the threshold

From the ordinary world to the reveal of my heart

(okay obviously, this is talking about his leave for college. the “ordinary world” referencing his life with his dad and brother and how that was his ordinary but now he gets to follow his heart and break free from the way things ‘should’ be.)

Undoubtedly... That will for certain

Take the dead out of the sea and the darkness from the arts

(to me this is sam knowing that his leave will uproot his family and cause major issues. i think these lyrics double as showing for sam: a stir and deep change taking place within himself as he feels normal for once. which takes the “darkness” out of him. as for his family relationship: taking the dead out of the sea would reference himself, he’s taking himself out of the situation and changing the sea would cause ripples and waves. leaving dean and john in disarray.)

This is my commitment, my modern manifesto

I'm doing it for all of us who never got the chance

(sams commitment to leaving, his fights with john about his departure, hes truly set in stone about this change. the second part is such a sam thing to say, “all of us” referencing anyone who feels different/out of place, he’s saying he’s taking back his life for himself and showing everyone like him that they can too.)

For... and for... (shut up, shut up)

And all my birds of paradise (shut up, shut up)

Who never got to fly at night (shut up, shut up)

'Cause they were caught up in the dance

(again sams feeling trapped his whole childhood, he feels sympathetic for anyone who felt the same. he couldn’t “fly” because he was stifled by his family and hunting, the dance he was caught up in was quite literally just his family dynamic.)

Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind

I want to get off, but I keep riding the ride

I never really noticed that I had to decide

To play someone's game, or live my own life

(to me this is pushing on farther, he’s reunited with dean and they’re looking for john: SO CLEAR! the war in his mind is the loyalty to his brother but he knows he doesn’t share deans desires in life. so he’s tearing himself apart by wanting to be there for dean, but simultaneously wanting some release and to escape. he keeps “riding the ride” as in he can’t escape hunting, hunting is a revolving door for him, like the boys say many times through out the series you’re never really out of the life. now we’re getting further along the line, they find out about the apocalypse, the game is gods plan for him and how he will be lucifer’s vessel. he just desperately wants to live his own life and be free from all of this.)

And now I do, I wanna move

Out of the black (out of the black)

Into the blue (into the blue)

(“out of the black into the blue” is him making that shift between trusting dean and trusting himself, obviously trusting himself leads him down the path with ruby which will be touched on later.)

Finally... Gone is the burden of the Crowley way of being

That comes from energies combined

(he’s finally done with the intense life that came from his family’s energy and beliefs, dean is in hell and he’s lost by himself.)

Like my part was I, was not discerning

And you, as we found out, were not in your right mind

(sam feels as though he was naive in his role to starting the apocalypse, he feels it was his part to play and wishes he hadn’t played it. the second line referencing both dean the day sam killed lilith and deans revival and finding him with ruby. dean acted rashly but ultimately was just trying to protect sam both times. sam sees his protectiveness as “not being in his right mind” because he doesn’t understand what dean is protecting, he doesn’t believe he deserves protecting.)

There's no more chasing rainbows and hoping for an end to them

Their arches are illusions, solid at first glance

But then you try to touch them (touch, touch)

There's nothing to hold on to (hold, hold)

(this part of the song literally sparked this whole thing: THIS! THIS IS DEAN. dean, for sam, is the illusion of stability. but when sam reaches out, dean isn’t there for him. he ends up going down demon blood path because he’s reaching for his brother to save him but dean isn’t there. deans presence and protectiveness doesn’t expand to sam’s specific emotional needs. dean can’t be there for sam the way sam needs him to. “there’s nothing to hold onto” to me specifically is sam saying, he wants dean to be able to save him, he wants to love his brother but it just doesn’t end up the way it should. he feels abandoned by dean despite deans best efforts.)

The colors used to lure you in (shut up, shut up)

And put you in a trance (ah, ah, ah, yeah)

(“the colors” being sam, this is sams commentary on dean, he’s saying dean used to be there for him because he was lured by the illusion of a perfectly sweet little brother, of a kid who needs protection. deans belief because of this illusion is that he has to protect sam no matter the cost. this belief effectively putting dean “in a trance” where dean makes decisions that he shouldn’t just because of this certain way of acting he’s used to.)

Sometimes it feels like I've got a war in my mind

I want to get off, but I keep riding the ride

I never really noticed that I had to decide

To play someone's game, or live my own life

(the war in his mind is now more emotional turmoil than the previous conflict over escaping hunting. it’s the feelings from the impending apocalypse leering over sam, he just wants it to end but he and dean are stuck playing the game.)

And now I do, I wanna move

Out of the black (out of the black)

Into the blue (into the blue)

Out of the black (out of the black)

Into the blue (into the blue)

Out of the black (out of the black)

Into the blue (into the blue)

(now after all his evolution, i think this is referencing that he wants to move out of this era of his life. he knows he can’t go back to being normal, he longs for the simpler times, he just wants his old life with dean back. even though that was the very thing he tried to escape, he came full circle because of all the bad that happened.)

[deadlyflames]

So I wanted to make a playlist of songs for pitchanna. I’m going to put all the songs on a playlist on Spotify and maybe another playlist on YouTube as well.

Anyway, please make some song suggestions as you find them. Id like to keep updating this playlist.

New Constellations - Ryn Weaver - “Child of Neptune, I'm the daughter of the Sun. Keep showing me new constellations”

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine - “Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too so I stayed in the darkness with you”

Willow - Taylor Swift - “Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in, as if you were a mythical thing”

King - Lauren Aquilina - “Put all your faults to bed, you can be King again”

King and Lion Heart - Of Monsters and Men - “Howling ghosts they reappear in mountains that are stacked with fear, but you're a king and I'm a lionheart”

Yellow Light - Of Monsters and Men - “Just grab a hold of my hand, I will lead you through this wonderland”

I Found - Amber Run - “And I've moved further than I thought I could but I missed you more than I thought I would”

Bloodstream - Stateless - “I think I might've inhaled you”

Music of the Night - Ramin Karimloo - “Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light and listen to the music of the night”

Fools - Lauren Aquilina - “Those hardest to love need it most. I watched our bodies turn to ghosts”

Dark Paradise - Lana Del Ray - “Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise”

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish - “I'm scared. I've never fallen from quite this high, fallin' into your ocean eyes”

As the World Falls Down - David Bowie - “I'll place the moon within your heart”

Within You - David Bowie - “Everything I've done I've done for you. I move the stars for no one”

Ghosting - Mother Mother - “And this is why I have decided to leave your house and home un-haunted. You don't need poltergeists for sidekicks”

Seaside - Haux - “We can make for the seaside. Run until our lungs cave in”

Illuminated - Hurts - “We are all illuminated, Lights are shining on our faces, blinding.”

Wishing Girl - Lola Marsh - “'Cause you, you are my lonely star. And I'm, I'm your wishing girl”

Sunlight - Hozier - “Each day, you'd rise with me know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty. Oh, my sunlight”

Once Upon a Dream - Lana Del Ray - “But if I know you, I know what you'll do. You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream”

Undisclosed Desires - Muse - “I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart”

Dark Horse - Our Last Night - “So you wanna play with magic? Girl, you should know what you're falling for”

Can’t Pretend - Tom Odell - “Love I hope you know how much my heart depends”

Tightrope - Sara Bareilles - “You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream”

Nitesky (feat. John LaMonica) - Robot Koch - “You come through like a light in the dark, give me sight”

Sick of Losing Soulmates - dodie - “God knows where I would be if you hadn't found me sitting all alone in the dark”

The Scientist - Coldplay - “Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are.”

Pieces - Red - “I come to you in pieces so you can make me whole”

Starlight - Muse - “I'll never let you go if you promise not to fade away”

So Contagious - Acceptance - “I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to take a hold of you”

A Thousand Years - Christina Peri - “I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more”

Push Pull - Purity Ring - “I crept up in you and I wouldn’t let go”

Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls - “You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now”

Mountain Sound - Of Monsters and Men - “Alone we traveled on with nothing but a shadow”

Corrupt - Depeche Mode - “Soon you'll be crying and wishing you dreamt me”

[urlocalfrogmammy]

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, but i have it—ronald speirs

inspired by

(and my 12-1am contemplation)

@yeahcurrahee : Hey! I was wondering if you could do a Ronald Speirs imagine with the prompt “you can’t keep avoiding your problems!” “i avoid you well enough!”? Thank you!

when your feeling utterly lost, speirs shows you a side you're not used to seeing.

literally started writing this as sOON as i got the request because i was listening to the song and i was like 👀. not re-read it, not cut it down. my pure, unfiltered 12am thoughts. word count 2k because i don't know where to stop at this time. i hope u enjoy it <3 thank u for the request

there was a soft breeze that blew the sheer curtains. the doors to the balcony had been left open the night before, you couldn't be bothered closing them before slipping into your silk sheets. now, the rays of sunshine cast a heavenly glow on the marble floor of your room, and believing in a god no longer felt foolish to you. you, however, were not exactly feeling like you belonged in the paradise of that austrian hotel room. you'd spent your night tossing and turning, stripping layers of clothes off in cold sweats between nightmares. you now lay wearily in your bed, wondering why you couldn't sleep as well as everyone else. you were a lieutenant, for christ's sake. you were supposed to be training the men to go to war once again. but you were haunted by the images of the war. you'd seen almost all your friends injured or dead. chuck grant with his head shot, bill and joe with their legs missing, gordon paralysed, hoobler bleeding out, jackson in that dingy basement, skip and penkala being blown up—

breathe, you told yourself.

now you could barely look your men in the face without feeling guilty for sending them off to the hell you'd experienced. you had the points. you could go home. but you knew in your heart you'd forever feel ashamed if you left now. your head, being wiser, knew that you'd forever feel guilty for leading these men back into combat, after they'd earned long and happy lives.

instead of worrying about your inner conflict, you lay and stared up at the lighting fixture. there were three lightbulbs, surrounded by tulip-shaped lampshades. they were edged with gold, and they reflected in the light. you stared and stared, until your eyes began to drop. a bang on your door startled you, and you called: "i'm naked!"

ron speirs came barging into the room. "lieutenant what the hell are you playing at?"

see, the awkward thing was that you really were naked. you grasped the sheets to pull over your bare chest and a small squeak cane out of your throat. "i told you i was naked sir!" speirs awkwardly stood in your room like he was lost in the middle of a jungle and had stumbled into a foreign camp. he slowly prowled towards the dresser, lifting up a jewel encrusted brush you'd snagged and holding it up to the light. the reflection was cast on the wall opposite, leaving a glowing pattern on the cream walls. you sat up onto your elbow and stared at your captain. you weren't blind, you knew he was handsome in a sort of rugged way, but the delicate light from those french doors radiated a celestial glow onto him, making his appear angelic. you watched as speirs fumbled with the silver box of pins, trying to figure out how to open it. a soft click confirmed he'd succeeded and he peered inside, unimpressed at the contents of the box.

you wanted to scream. you wanted to tell the man to get out your room. but instead, you just observed him as a glint from your bedside table caught his eye. slowly approaching both you and the bedside table, he lifted up the best thing you'd snagged. a diamond necklace, four diamonds thick, with tendrils of diamonds hanging down from it. you knew it was worth a small fortune, because it was one of the most luxurious pieces of jewellery you'd ever seen. looking down on you, ron leaned down and held it up to your bare neck. "it's pretty."

"thank you." your voice was breathless, ron had taken that away. standing back up and letting the necklace clatter on the glass tabletop, ron's demeanour returned to normal. "are you going to get dressed?" you simply pointed to behind the door.

ron's footfalls were the only thing heard in the room as he grabbed the silk robe from the back of the door and chucked it at you. you caught it with one hand, and ron turned around to give you some privacy. he heard you place yourself back on the bed before telling him you were decent. as he turned back around to look at you, he swore he'd never seen anyone as ethereal as you in that moment. your hair was down, something he had never seen before, and it caught the light. your eyes gleamed as the looked at him, sparkling with something he couldn't recognise. your cheeks were flushed and your lips looked soft. “you’re not sleeping.”

“of cour—”

“you’ve got dark circles.”

he watched as you scoffed, walking over to the dressing table mirror and peering into it. “maybe i’d get less stressed if i was tested less.”

picking up the hairbrush, you slowly began to pull it through your hair. ron watched your reflection in the mirror. “why are you here, captain speirs?”

“why aren’t you with your men?” you paused, hissing as you got to a knot in your hair you couldn’t untangle, right at the back of your head. ron felt an insatiable urge, and indulged himself in it. taking the brush from your hands, your hair was like silk in between his fingers. he dragged the hairbrush through your hair slowly, and your head tilted back towards the movement of the brush.

“you never answered my question, lieutenant.” you hummed in content at the soothing feeling of having your hair brushed, and looked up at him in the mirror. “just let me enjoy this. this is the best things that’s happened to me since nixon brought me that bacon sandwich.” ron chuckled at the statement, and continued to brush your hair with a softness you hadn’t expected from him. the gesture was very out of character, but you accepted it with open arms. maybe you just didn’t know your captain as well as you thought you did. there was a clank as ron set the brush back down and you turned on your stool to look at him. he looked down on you with a look you couldn’t decipher, so you stood and padded over to the bed again.

"the men need someone else." ron stared at you from across the room. arms crossed. "i can't do it."

"why?"

"because..." you couldn't articulate what you were feeling. "i... i can't watch another boy die. screaming for the medic, or their mother, with blood coming out of their mouth and—" you cut yourself off abruptly in order to stop yourself from crying in front of the captain. he approached you, crouching down until he was at your eye level. "aren't you just happy that the war's over in europe?"

you scoffed again. "don't ask if i'm happy."

"why?"

"you know that i'm not." your traced your fingers along the silk of the creamy sheets, stained with your sweat and a reminder of all the images you'd had in your dreams. "at best i can say i'm not sad." you glanced fleetingly at him, with a half smile on your face. you wondered how your captain would ever understand how you were feeling. ronald was ruthless, to the point. he acted as every solider should, no second thoughts, no remorse.you wondered if he ever understand the guilt that hung heavy on your conscience, like a plaque that read i've murdered more people than i can count.

ron sat on the bed next to you. "you're a good leader, y/n."

"yeah?" you tucked your hair behind your ear.

“yeah.” he smiled, something you hadn’t seen properly before. ron had always been stern faced or shouting, but it was worth it for the smile. his eyes crinkled, twinkling like the constellations in the sky. you looked away from him and shrugged. “i don’t know. maybe.” you stood back up, collecting your clothes off the floor, and dumping them on the bed. “y/n.” you ignored him, picking up your army pants and folding them leg to leg. “y/n, you can’t keep avoiding your problems.”

“really? because i avoid you well enough.” a neatly folded shirt now joined the pants. speirs walked behind you, and you could feel the warmth he radiated on your back. his hands captured your wrists. “stop.” you turned your head to look at him, and his lips met yours.

at first you froze, and then you jumped back. ron felt a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. had he read the signs wrong? “y/n, i’m sorry i—”

“no. i’m sorry. i panicked, i...” you turned around properly, “spilling my guts with... drunkards who don’t care about me... is the only love i’ve ever known.” he felt a pang if guilt, that someone as beautiful as you had never experienced what love really was. he looked down on you and murmured: “let me look after you.” you wrapped your arms around his neck. ron’s hands found your waist, and he pulled you back in for another kiss. this time, it was reciprocated. softly, gently, and with feeling. lifting you up and sitting on the bed with you in his lap, the kiss continued with more compassion and care. you pulled away.

"wow." your laugh was breathy and shaking. ron just grinned, hair ruffled and chest heaving under you. easing yourself off him, you could feel your legs trembling. "i should... probably get ready." a sudden wave of guilt slammed into you. you were enjoying yourself, and you should have been out there training your men. the men you were responsible for. your chin wobbled and you turned away from your captain, unable to stop the tears welling in your eyes. "hey, y/n look at me." ron lifted you chin up to look at him. "everything is fine. you have done your very best. just..." his voice softened, "hope for the best." you sniffled, and he told you he'd leave you to get dressed. as he was about to open the door, when you answered him. "hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have," you said softly. he turned to look at you, "but i have it."

he left you alone to your thoughts as you got dressed. your ike jacket was a little loose, you didn't have the broad figure expected, and your hair could barely stay in its pins, but you looked a lot better than you had done for a while. your face wore a smile. going down the luxurious stairs of cream marble to meet the other officers, you were greeted by a slightly drunken lewis nixon at the bottom of them. "captain nixon."

"lieutenant y/n. nice lie in?"

"shut up." you shoved him with an elbow and he just giggled that dumb giggle. he held his hands up in mock surrender, "i'm serious, y/n. you're looking a lot better than when we got here." wrapping an arm around your shoulder, nix guided you into the glass room with the huge wooden table and sat you down on it. ron was stood at one corner, drinking coffee and consulting his map. you smiled shyly at you, and he smirked back. lewis seemed to pick this up, and he handed you a teacup and saucer and winked at you. you couldn't help but smile at the gesture, shaking your head and glaring. you sipped your tea and almost gagged on it. “christ nixon! stop drowning everything in alcohol!”

“sorry! thought it would be a good pick me up!” you stood up, leaving the teacup where it sat.

“i’m going sorting third platoon.”

“alright kid. have fun.”

speirs smiled and nodded as you lit up a cigarette. you felt pride swelling up in your chest. he was proud of you. and you were proud of you too.