#i've never had a convo quite like that. gave me some faith in myself and my background and interests and direction

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

you ever have someone that's basically a complete stranger seemingly believe in you more than you've ever believed in yourself and believe in you more than anyone in your life probably ever has and it's like i don't know what you see in me, but i hope one day i can see the same thing and prove you right

[saltandstranger]

Fruits in the Fridge and A Ram in the Thicket

On this exact day two years ago, I had one of the most unexpected plot twists of my life. I was then at the hospital emergency room waiting to be brought to the telemetry unit because the doctors apparently found out I had a heart murmur (more of that particular night's story right here).

Just months later, I had a heart surgery. And here I am 2 years later, typing away on my laptop, sipping tea on a very normal January evening, with my heart beating as strong and steady as ever.

What. a. crazy season it's been for all of us. But we've got an even crazy better (crazy gooder? crazier better?) God who got us through to the other side!

So hello there, 2022! I'm just gonna put it out right there that I am very excited for what's ahead of me this year - and I don't mean that in a naive/cliche way. I'm just genuinely excited and hopeful - it's the kind of hopefulness that's steadfast, unwavering, and enlarging. The kind that's anchored on God's faithfulness.

You see, January being sort of a "trial month" has been a running joke I've heard quite a number of times haha. But you want to know what I really think? I think it's worth going premium with our subscription for the rest of the year. It's true!! There's just something when the new year rolled in and I know it's because of God's resurrection power bringing dry bones back to life.

And so I simply can't let the first month of the year without sharing a piece of my mind through this write up haha (sorry dear stranger, I know I haven't been on here much hehe although I have been writing & journaling more frequently again!) Anyway, do allow me to ramble on for a bit. This is as real and raw as it gets.

I remember last December, we decided to keep Noche Buena very simple. We prepared just the traditional staples. Though I thought to myself on Christmas Eve Eve (the night before Christmas Eve haha), "wouldn't it be nice to have fruits for Christmas Eve?"

I'm telling you - God's ways are tender and His timing is impeccable. Little did I know that someone gave the Bible School staff some fruits days ago and left it in the fridge. My friends just got reminded of it and told me to get it during our church's Christmas Eve service. I was worried it would already be dried up it's still all fresh! I immediately felt the Spirit of God impress to me that just as it was with the fruits in the fridge, so is He with His promises for me.

Grabe naman, even as I'm typing right now in real time, He's speaking and revealing more things to me!

I have this larger-than-life dream that I've put on the shelf the past 2 years. I knew someday, I'd have to find the courage and strength to take it out of the shelf and wipe away the dust that might've layered the surface. But you know, just like those fruits in the fridge that were still fresh - God kept my dream preserved. I'm surprisingly unsurprised that there wasn't any dust after all. I got the dream from the shelf, it still had sparkles in it.

God has some instructions for me about my dream and there definitely is no question - I will go for it. Can I be honest though? Up until recently, I was waiting for a follow up ("God what's next?" Namsayin?). I limited myself with the "usual" process of step 1, step 2, step 3 that I almost forgot that God can never be boxed. During a convo with my mentor when she asked me what is it I'm desiring for, I've come to understand what's been there all along - that God's instructions are never incomplete and they are never without provision and grace!

There's always a ram in the thicket - but I've first got to stop squirming at the altar and just lay still. HAHA. Obedience and surrender. It sounds daunting but in truth, it's less so especially that I have proven out time and time again that obeying God and going all in with Him is the most strategic, productive, effective way because His Word has been established long before the foundations of the world. And our faithful God, in His sovereignty, orchestrates things in our lives so that we would enter into His due seasons where His promises would be seen fulfilled right in front of our own eyes. But it's a dance you see. God initiates and we respond in obedience.

I know it's urgent that I step in but by no means am I in a haste to overtake Him. I intend to be present and focus on "what is" instead of trying to map out the "what ifs" on a decision flowchart.

I know my God isn't just the Alpha and the Omega - He is also the God of the middle. My middle. My present. So as we go into the "premium months" of 2022, I will just be present in the here and now and will keep on leaning, contending, delighting, and letting Him write desires on my heart.

I've said it once, I'll say it again - I'm excited for this year! So let this real, raw, unedited ramble be a marker for where He's about to bring me into!

I don't really know how to end my post for tonight haha so I'm just gonna say see you soon!

Photo circa 2019 (I seriously need to take trips and take more photos this year!)

-K🌊