#i've missed her so much 😭

[thelvadams]

DESTINY 2: SEASON OF THE WITCH

I am your ruin.

[zevrans-remade]

minthara please....💀

[kotaki]

hirogaru sky! pretty cure ♡ ending messages

↳ episode twelve → cure whip

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[kuruna]

I finally gave Xan's wife a name ^.^ miss Erenia...

[miscgallery]

about me (unserious edition)

template via @/siciel27 on twitter

[guinevereslancelot]

decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy

[caimitos]

saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad

[obessivedork]

Was.... that supposed to be the end of FO4? 😐 Like once you've blown up the Institute you get this random nostalgic slideshow that has nothing to do with ANYTHING and that's it? You beat the game! Good for you! But we'll place you back into the world to keep playing I fucking guess? What's going to happen to your friends and The Commonwealth with all the decisions you made?😐 Don't ask us! Not like we're going to make an RPG with the infamous RPG IP, that would be silly!

[crimeronan]

currently helping selena through a tummy bug (a normal reaction to some medication, she should be fine. keeping an eye on her tho of course!) and it's just got me like .....waow. i could NOT keep up with a human baby.

[piedoesnotequalpi]

It's flat Fuzz Friday!

[moe-broey]

"Leave her alone she's like 15 😭😭😭😭" is my new "LEAVE HER ALONE SHE'S LIKE 13 😭😭😭😭😭😭" whenever anything bad happens to Veronica like. PLEASE

[aberooski]

I've returned from the art hyperfixation trenches and I've brought with me an approximation of an excerpt of a crossover fic I've been formulating and obsessing over for what must be weeks now 😂😅

The idea of Chazz, Atticus, and Alexis getting somehow sucked into the Mushroom Kingdom the Paper Mario 64 layout specifically hence Lava Lava Island lol started out as a joke, but the thought of Chazz and Peach hanging out in Bowser's dungeon together becoming unlikely besties while they wait for their silly boyfriends to come rescue them made it not a joke anymore and now, here we are 🤭🤭

Of course the dialog is subject to change when I get around to actually writing the actual fic and this sequence happens in context, but I approximated the gist of what's going on at this point in the story 😅

[sapphicautistic]

e's younger kid video called me today from the playground next to their home and had me "come with [her]!!!" as she slid down every single slide and showed me how fast she could run and some cool snow she found (her somewhat subdued-bc-sick big sister found some cool ice also)

and it was a little magical ngl!!!! she was very good at holding her mom's phone so it felt immersive!! she said "it's like you're playing a video game!!"

i miss them so much 😭 i'm gonna try to go visit them in person this year, it's so sad how long it's been cuz i haven't seen them since I moved cross country in 2020 but i love these kids so much and it makes my heart so happy that they still remember me and that they still love some things that I was the one to teach them to love 😭😭😭

[sprinedankle]

i miss taylor swift so much PLEASE someone bring me back to 11/11 i miss her and the worst part is that i dont remember ANYTHING about the concert like its a really vague memory thank god i have videos

[noxtivagus]

yk i still haven't done ffxiv 6.3 n the curiosity n anticipation is still driving me. crazy. a bit. yes.