#i've made it more coherent. but the post itself isn't really new

[the-way-astray]

dropping an anti keefe post later today. be warned.

[nowoyas]

Trying to make sense of the Nanowrimo statement to the best of my abilities and fuck, man. It's hard.

It's hard because it seems to me that, first and foremost, the organization itself has forgotten the fucking point.

Nanowrimo was never about the words themselves. It was never about having fifty thousand marketable words to sell to publishing companies and then to the masses. It was a challenge, and it was hard, and it is hard, and it's supposed to be. The point is that it's hard. It's hard to sit down and carve out time and create a world and create characters and turn these things into a coherent plot with themes and emotional impact and an ending that's satisfying. It's hard to go back and make changes and edit those into something likable, something that feels worth reading. It's hard to find a beautifully-written scene in your document and have to make the decision that it's beautiful but it doesn't work in the broader context. It's fucking hard.

Writing and editing are skills. You build them and you hone them. Writing the way the challenge initially encouraged--don't listen to that voice in your head that's nitpicking every word on the page, put off the criticism for a later date, for now just let go and get your thoughts out--is even a different skill from writing in general. Some people don't particularly care about refining that skill to some end goal or another, and simply want to play. Some people sit down and try to improve and improve and improve because that is meaningful to them. Some are in a weird in-between where they don't really know what they want, and some have always liked the idea of writing and wanted a place to start. The challenge was a good place for this--sit down, put your butt in a chair, open a blank document, and by the end of the month, try to put fifty thousand words in that document.

How does it make you feel to try? Your wrists ache and you don't feel like any of the words were any good, but didn't you learn something about the process? Re-reading it, don't you think it sounds better if you swap these two sentences, if you replace this word, if you take out this comma? Maybe you didn't hit 50k words. Maybe you only wrote 10k. But isn't it cool, that you wrote ten thousand words? Doesn't it feel nice that you did something? We can try again. We can keep getting better, or just throwing ourselves into it for fun or whatever, and we can do it again and again.

I guess I don't completely know where I'm going with this post. If you've followed me or many tumblr users for any amount of time, you've probably already heard a thousand times about how generative AI hurts the environment so many of us have been so desperately trying to save, about how generative AI is again and again used to exploit big authors, little authors, up-and-coming authors, first time authors, people posting on Ao3 as a hobby, people self-publishing e-books on Amazon, traditionally published authors, and everyone in between. You've probably seen the statements from developers of these "tools", things like how being required to obtain permission for everything in the database used to train the language model would destroy the tool entirely. You've seen posts about new AI tools scraping Ao3 so they can make money off someone else's hobby and putting the legality of the site itself at risk. For an organization that used to dedicate itself to making writing more accessible for people and for creating a community of writers, Nanowrimo has spent the past several years systematically cracking that community to bits, and now, it's made an official statement claiming that the exploitation of writers in its community is okay, because otherwise, someone might find it too hard to complete a challenge that's meant to be hard to begin with.

I couldn't thank Nanowrimo enough for what it did for me when I started out. I don't know how to find community in the same way. But you can bet that I've deleted my account, and I'll be finding my own path forward without it. Thanks for the fucking memories, I guess.

[gravityglitch-blog]

Okay, so I just finished the new Murder Drones episode. I feel like I understand even less now. Someone please tell me I'm not alone in this feeling.

A long post, spoilers and my barely coherent thoughts about moments that stood out to me under the cut.

What exactly is JC Jensen in Spaaaace trying to accomplish with these experiments? Nori and the other Workers must have been suffering so much at their hands. One thing I found touching in an otherwise horrifying flashback was Yeva caring for Nori, even through the nightmare they were living.

---

It was sad to see Uzi being scared of N again.

---

Newfound respect for Doll, standing up to her own nightmare.

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Tessa has been setting off my alarm bells since she first landed, but I wasn't expecting what she did to Doll or...whatever this is. Then again, this really isn't Tessa at all, is it?

---

I'm still thinking the Solver consumes planets and life, like Galactus from Marvel comic books. The flashback inflicted on N shows a world trying to fight back.

This next shot comes after the scene of V and J on the ground. Are these new Disassembly Drones we haven't met yet?

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Nori meeting N...one of the first things she says is, "Hey, you look familiar." So the theory that N killed her before can't be dismissed yet. Even in this weird setting, it's adorable that, down to her literal core, Nori still loves Khan.

---

The fight with Solver Uzi moved too quickly for me to get a good screenshot (the animation in this episode was so good) but the way N broke it up, omg

(Little hearts and everything 💛💜)

---

This is the part that genuinely made me laugh in this confusing maze of horror.

And this is the part that made me want to cry, especially when he strokes her hair.

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Uzi and N dangling over basically a hellmouth, and her loving him enough to sacrifice herself.

---

I feel like she must at least suspect something is on the other side, or this is the calmest fall-to-doom I have ever seen.

---

Here I think she's looking into the eye of the Solver itself, like the Eye of Sauron. Is she truly in outer space or is this a hallucination? I guess only the next episode will tell.

---

Shifting focus a little, I was really happy to see these guys again, especially Khan. I've been hoping that he'd take a more active role and fight for his daughter.

He actually built Uzi's rail gun😭

---

J remembers the rail gun. I love that shot of Lizzy and Thad. I hope the fan theories about them being siblings are true, they'd make a great brother and sister team.

---

In conclusion, this episode was a rollercoaster.

Still not entirely sure of what I just saw or how I feel about it, only that it can be summed up by this image

This one, too, actually

Thank you for reading this far.

[graciliss]

Young Cadaver's Foxtrot - short story out now!

surprise everyone! I finally released some writing 🥴 this is obviously just yk. a small thing but it's a story I've kinda had lying around for a while and since it otherwise was gonna decay in my docs anyways I thought "fuck it, why not post it."

you can read the story right here!

it's a short horror story detailing a teen named luke and his brother, noah's move to a new neighbourhood and a mysterious line of dancing children spotted in the woods near their new home. the phenomenon and events following it fundamentally shake luke and his family.

feedback is much appreciated! below the cut you'll find some of my own commentary on the story, but please do read things first as this contains the themes and means of interpretation I personally put forth for this.

additionally if anybody wants me to post it on Tumblr too please let me know.

first of all I'm mad I spelled the word 'cadaver' wrong for the title page 💀 I only learned recently that it's cadaver and not cadavre so I'm malding. I'm so professional (/s)

however. onto actually author's notes:

the process

the idea kind of came to me all at once, really. it was roughly a year ago, I was at work and Kikuo's Corpse Dance was looped in my head while doing tasks and the ideas came from there. it was one of those stories that seemed a lot cooler in my head as fragmented key scenes LMAO. needless to say I wasted zero time getting the plot jotted down, and I believe I managed to finish the core story in a matter of two or three days.

what took me so long was the editing lol. the editing of this story was kind of hellish, with me trying to snip a few things out and failing to do so. however, the main change was the characterisation of noah.

he was written too.... normally in the beginning, and with the direction I was planning to go for the story, a relatively well-adjusted kid would not be the kind of person I had in mind as a victim to the dancing frenzy. instead, I decided upon writing him as already being established to be rather unstable.

what I additionally changed from the first draft was the dance itself. it seemed too comprehensible, too executable in the first draft (and I didn't want it to resemble Kikuo's MV too much). other than this, most changes were minor.

the ideas and themes

I had several concepts swirling about in my head while writing and editing this, though I don't know how I feel about the execution.

the main ones at play here, I'd say, are suicide, its signs leading up to it and the aftermath. you already know what happened to noah, and you now need to watch it unfold. the signs leading up to everything are obvious as a reader and is purposefully made to be agonising in this way.

additionally, there's luke and the fact that he was a bitter, angsty 15 year old. he makes incredibly stupid decisions... because he's 15. the amazing thing is I can blame everything on that (/j), and you then get the commentary of a now 20 year old luke on top of it, along with the guilt he continues to feel for everything, including things that ultimately were out of his control and not really his fault.

---

this commentary isn't really coherent icl. however I hope it does provide a little more insight to my writing process at the very least 👍 enjoy

[bonesandthebees]

I’m going to give myself one more day to try and get my stars thoughts coherent and if that doesn’t work I’ll be a coherent dump cuz I just can’t figure out how to organise or structure it. I think you might have broken me because there’s so much content and so much I want to talk about. Either that, or we can blame the exams. One more day and I have survived the 2/3 of my exams in a row limbo I’m currently in. Who made this stupid schedule.

Anyway, have some random Glass Devine thoughts. I really love this rewrite. Everything feels more polished. More development has gone into the world and it shows. I love Clara and Kristins statues being opposites. It’s a nice parallel to show that they are like two halves of the same coin. I feel like there’s supposed to be a balance between the two. Anyway, it’s just nice. Also I feel like there’s some significance in Wilbur not feeling like Clara’s face is familiar. Maybe it’s being depicted wrong? Idk. Doesn’t really matter right now.

Also, there are a lot of things I want to talk about, but I feel like that’s spoilers for people who haven’t read the first version, so some thing I’ll leave out for now and others all be vague about. I like the foreshadowing on Wilbur’s backstory. Or the little bits and pieces we get. It makes sense if you know what it is, but if you don’t it just makes you more concerned (like Tommy hearing that he’s spelt in worse places). Similarly Tommy’s breathing. I haven’t read Someone else’s dream in a while, so at first I was confused what it could be, because it seemed weird that Tommy would be claustrophobic, but then the memory snapped into place and it’s just some nice foreshadowing for something Wilbur doesn’t know yet.

Also, rewrite things is like: all of Glass!Charlie. You always do such a good job with this character and his specific brand of weird. Yes he totally has a normal amount of bones. [“See you later, Tommy from Downstairs and Tommy from Downstairs’ new friend!”] I’ve only had Glass!Chalrie for a day and a half, but if anything were to happen to him I would kill everyone reading this fic and then myself.

They can see in the dark! It’s because of the prosthetic eyes right? I didn’t realise Tommy had them because his eyes are blue (I think), but he must have, right? The light bugs! I think they were just orbs in the first iteration. I could be wrong, but I love them anyway. The entire new layout of the base, they have a back door now? Also the fact that there’s an extra door and guard.

(1/2)

-🌲

answering this ask late but lmao very understandable if i broke you with the stars epilogue sorry there was a lot going on in that one

first off thank you so much!! yes the rewrite feels so much more polished and that's partially because when I wrote the og I knew it wasn't going to be anything very long, so I wasn't really trying to make it super coherent or well thought out. it was just kind of for shits and giggles. now it's the start of a much longer story, so I've had a lot more time to think things through and I'm really happy with how it's going so far

yes there is supposed to be balance between clara and kristin! although clara is more often associated with time/the future, she technically is also representative of life itself. so clara = life, kristin = death. they're two sides of the same coin. that's why clara's statue looks up, while kristin's statue looks down.

I won't spell out the exact reasoning but the significance in wilbur feeling like clara's face isn't familiar actually has more to do with his own faith in clara as opposed to something being wrong with the statue, if that makes sense. it's an internal problem, not an external one.

eh don't worry too much about spoilers for the other version because we're deviating pretty hard from the og very very soon. as in, I finished chapter 3 tonight and i'm gonna post it tomorrow morning and that gets us basically to the point of someone else's dream that i'm rewriting. everything deviates after chapter 3 into entirely original new plot (for the most part).

ok true on tommy's breathing though. that is a nod to something in the og so that kind of is a spoiler warning I guess. it's going to become plot relevant in a few chapters so ;)

lmao thank you I had so much fun writing glass!charlie. idk what it is but every time I have to write charlie in a fic the spirit of The Slime just possesses me and he says the funniest most unhinged shit.

also, uh ngl I didn't make the connection that people would assume the stairs bit was tommy having cybernetic eyes because that's not the case. tommy has normal eyes. the stairs thing is literally just that he's gone up and down those steps so many times he has them memorized and doesn't need light to go up and down them. this gets mentioned in the chapter i'm posting tomorrow tho so there you go.

yes the layout of the base is similar but so different at the same time! the most important change is that it's a temple and not just some random cavern, which I am really proud of and has given me a lot of room to design a very cool layout. I'm literally considering making a blueprint online just so you guys can understand the layout of the entire place bc I feel like it's really confusing to explain.

[mocacheezy]

Wanted to make a seperate post for this, because this stuff will go under a readmore. (damn it got long)

Added my two cents on this post, but here is what I do when I do have the energy leave comments on fics (and some extra thoughts on my kudoses):

Comments

There is such delight when I find a fic that I have to write my thoughts down while reading, because I love to scream my joy @ the author in the comment once I am done with the chapter/fic itself.

And hopefully by the time I reach the end of the chapter I can calm down enough to actually write something coherent aside from screaming and keysmashing.

Some fics get me that excited!

Some fics I had to put down while reading, so I could pace around the room, because the possibilities for where the situation could go are ENDLESS!

Some fics I've put down and picked up MONTHS later, because a chapter was just so good and made me feel SO MUCH, I was unable to read further!

There are fics I forgot about and returned to years later and was DELIGHTED to see them finished or still going (there was this one back on fanfiction.net that I adored with all my heart, and I plan on checking out what happened to it. The author went on a break around the time another fandom took my attention, but the fic was so good I still remember it from time to time. It made my life more than just bearable, it made me laugh to tears at some points. )

When a fic gets me that excited, I noticed I tend to either comment short excited comments before nyooming to the next chapter, or read all of it over a course of a couple of days, gather my thoughts and leave an almost essay long comment, because the whole fic was just so good and I want to say it all in one place!

There were a couple of fics that I actually WANTED to write essays on, because I appreciate the authors writting style so so so much! For some I still do, because holy hell, the writing and characterization is great, while ALSO gives us things canon/source material didn't explore. But, if I do that, I wanna do it good because KUDOS TO THE WRITERS!

There are also fics that have me grinning and commenting on what's happening outloud, but there isn't really that many questions popping up for me.

It's the delighted gasp and a "Bitch, you said WHAT? 8D".

It's the "Ohohohooooo this is going to h u r t".

It's the grimace or a snort of "You fucking bastard, I knew he was planning something."

With fics like that, I can sit still or do something that isn't too demanding attention wise.

It's relaxing. It's nice, it let's my usually very active and overwhelmed brain rest, WHILE ALSO giving me serotonin and the excitement/feels, but on a smaller scale.

With fics like this (especially one shots), I tend to leave shorter comments, because if I want to comment, but don' t have much to say, I'll still comment and tell what the fic made me feel.

"I liked/loved/really enjoyed this fic, it had me experience x"

Because I do like it! And so far almost every fic I read gets atleast one kudos because this stuff is so good and the authors are amazing.

I just don't have much to say at that moment. Or what I want to comment is missing something and feels too flat to me.

If I know I'll want to reread a fic, I usually bookmark it and write down some highlights/what I liked about it/make a comment of its own in the bookmark! Because looking at older bookmarks/bookmarks from a fandom you are no longer involved with can bring back quite the laughter... AND get you back into the fandom even!

Reading fics is supposed to be a thing you enjoy. If you are starting to dread it because you feel obligated to say something, hey.

Take a step back for a while. This kind of fear happened to me at some point when I was younger, especially when I started interacting with active content creators. They appreciate comments and those comments help so much when an obstacle presents itself and it seems like abandoning a story will be it. Comments and encouragment bring back the fire and joy of writing.

There is a comment I have yet to reply to, that's been sitting in my Ao3 inbox for 160 days (ALMOST 6 MONTHS, MOCA, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND REPLY ALREADY!).

It's from an author who really wasn't feeling motivated and the comment brought them such joy and excitement!

Why is it taking me so long to reply?

I never expect/wait for a reply from authors. ESPECIALLY not if it's a fic that's older (there are some amazing fics that were posted in 2013!!! Who knows if the author is still active in the fandom!*), or if it's an ongoing one that gets alot of comments. In the second case, it's because the author is already writing the fic, editing said fic and uploading it, could also be working on a bunch of different fics (because writting inspiration strikes at the weirdest of moments and as someone who has around 4fic ideas happening simultaniously, people who ACTUALLY WRITE THEM? Kudos. You are amazing.), not to mention most fic authors do this in their free time. So there's also their jobs, social circle outside the internet, on the internet and the amount of energy they have for social interaction with strangers online. Who am I to expect a reply to that behemot of a comment I left on their fic? If it made them happy, great! If it made them go "woah, that's alot of words" *shrugs*, eh. I am a rambler, it's what I do, if they like it they like it, if they don't they don't. Not much i can do about that, though I did leave a note on my ao3 profile that they can contact me if long comments/ramblings annoy them, so I can stay off their comment section and scream about my love for their works somewhere else. Noone has asked me to stop as of yet, but I like to offer just in case.

Most of my comments are actually posted as if I was at cafe or a restaurant, and was offered the Book of Complaints, Suggestions and Compliments/Thanks.

Complaints? I don't have complaints to leave, because it's my decision on what content I consume, and if I don't like it, I can always search for something else.

And if I didn't read the tags? Well, that's on me. That's like ordering a new dish when you have a food allergy, not reading the provided and highlighted allergen notes and warning, and then screaming at the staff when your food arrives. It's not THEIR job to know what kind of allergies their customers have. It's the customers.

Suggestions? Is the author asking for those? If not, no suggestions from me! If they do ask, and I don't have an answer I usually take some time to see if I have anything to offer.

Compliments/Thanks. That is the thing I love and what I click the comment box for. If a fic made me FEEL something, I will let the author know.

Do you know how amazing it is to read a fic and sit staring off into space after you finish it because "woah... that. That made me feel so much at once that I can't even name it." ?

When you read a crackfic, and keep snickering and chuckling, before you finally burst out in laughter or wheezing or snorting with tears in the corners of your eyes because "OH THIS GOLD, I haven't laughed like this in a while!" ?

When you read angst that tugs at your heartstrings and causes actual tears to run down your face and feel the anguish the characters feel?

When you read angst, but the story has a happy ending? Any you get to see the characters claw their way towards it, and actually reach it?

When you read hurt/comfort and there is that gentle care and love and safety that makes your heart melt?

When you read a fic that feels like sitting by a window with a cup of warm coffee while relaxing music plays? (this last one is becoming my favourite of them all and is actually the one I struggle to comment on the most.)

There is such a variety of works out there! So many talented and amazing writers, with their AUs and a billion different ways of writing!

3. I am a very forgetful person, who has to check her inbox more often. Plain and simple. Nothing more to it.

4. Some of these authors write back such lovely comments that make me smile everytime I open my inbox. I think I might make a scrapbook of some sort, to keep track of them, because getting the feedback of "HEY YOUR COMMENT MADE ME HAPPY/EXCITED!" or "I really appreciated this comment, thank you." makes me smile. ^u^

Seriously fic authors are amazing, and this is why "Kudos to them." has become a thing I say irl as well, and in any conversation where someone creating a thing is brought up. I may not know or have a strong opinion on the stuff someone enjoys creating, or have nothing to really say, so "Woah, Kudos to them." is my way of saying "I admire their work (but don't have anything else to say about it)."

Learning it means Glory? Hell yes, those works are worthy of praise,and the authors really are glorious.

So here's where that lovely button comes in.

Kudos

I use the kudos button both when I have a comment to write and when I don't. I spam that button when I like something so much words fail me, and I click it when a fic reads like I have just finished a cup of coffee.

If I use the cafe/restaurant thing I talked about before as an example, leaving a kudos, to me, is like giving a smile or replying to the waiter with "It was great." when they asked if you enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it, but I don't have anything else to say.

Maybe it was just an interesting read, even if not to my usual tastes. It might get a kudos.

And if I read something that I thought I would like but it turned out I didn't like it or I felt meh abput it?

Well, *shrugs* well.

I don't have anything nice to say, and I probably won't read stuff from that author. There are others who will and others who will leave a kudos.

I don't think much about it because I read fics for fun.

I ramble about them because I am having fun and finally know I can share my experience with others.

You guys have probably seen the "Holy shit two cakes!" comic, which was originally about how artists/writers feel bad when creating something with a concept that many other more skilled creators used.

I remember that comic at some point also being used to explain that "It really sucks when you bake a cake, but noone wants to eat it."

I can't speak as a writer, because I don't post the fics I daydream about (yet! I don't post them yet!), but here's a little thing my daydreamer self likes to think.

I baked my cake, and I can eat it too, but I hope the cafe I frequent has something similar too.

Translated?

I wanted to read a fic like this, I made a fic with the idea I wanted, I enjoyed the process and the result, but I sure do hope someone else also makes a similar fic in the future.

I do however mostly daydream my fic ideas. So again. These are just my thoughts on the whole thing that is Comment > Kudos/Like > Reading > Not Reading