#i've known about this for a while but this is the first time ive seen them make a public discussion of it that wasn't taken down

[punkitt-is-here]

One of the developers of Omori recently shared their experiences in this thread about the treatment they had to go through during the development of the game. They're going through a rough patch at the moment. If you liked Omori, I think you should help Melon Kid out if you can!!

It's disheartening to hear that someone on a team was mistreated. Games are a beautiful medium, but the people who make those games come first. We've all got to work hard to ensure better environments for devs, and that starts with making sure they can get back on their feet!

[midday-clouds]

Yandere Batfamily x Neglected & "Immortal" Reader 》 III

Part I Part II Part IV

Took me so long to figure out how the rest of the story could go XP Also, I've seen how some of y'all want the reader to become a vigilante/villain :) It is definitely possible but not with the current story idea I have in mind. Maybe one day, I'll make a side story where the reader becomes a vigilante/villain

CW: Violence (Bar Fight), Stalking, Blood, "Death"

It has been a few weeks since you moved into Bludhaven and Nightwing being your nighttime companion

He always comes over to your apartment with a couple of injuries and asks to stay a bit

With Nightwing’s instructions, you learn to bandage injuries to help the hero

Maybe it’s because your mental wounds from your neglectful family are still fresh, but Nightwing quickly started to grow on you.

It just feels nice to have a friend while adjusting to your new life.

It also could be because he actually came to the rescue when you were attacked

This does make you wonder why Batman didn’t save you in Gotham but who knows what that big guy does.

Another thing you wonder about sometimes is who Nightwing is.

You were never really curious about the vigilantes in Gotham, even though four well-known vigilantes resided there.

Ever since you met Nightwing, you tried doing some research on him but you immediately stopped when you saw the words “Richard Grayson” in an article.

While the batfamily would be more than happy to stay in Bluvenon so they can meet you, Gotham needed them. (Also they may overwhelm you)

Because of this, the family (except Dick and Jason) return home where more plans are made.

Jason decided that he will be the next person you meet and he won’t take no for an answer.

There is one problem though, you’ve seen Jason with his Red Hood attire

You may not have connected the dots at the time but you definitely will when you see him again.

After debating with Dick, Jason finally agrees to primarily watch you from a distance

In an attempt to meet more people, you decided to participate in some summer events that your college was hosting

You make a couple of friends and go out together

College classes are just around the corner and your friends suggested going out to a bar

This is a special moment so you decide to go with them

You all made plans on the designated driver and kept an eye out for your drinks

When you go to the bar, it's almost sunset.

This is your first time drinking but you trust your friends to keep you safe. (You ended up hating the taste)

Unknown to you, Jason is watching you from outside of the bar

If it was Dick’s turn to watch over you, he’d drag you back to your apartment.

Jason just allows you to have your fun time with friends, getting lost in how happy and innocent you seem.

This all crashes down when a fight suddenly happens right next to you

You and your friends try to get away from the scene but you're suddenly knocked to the ground

A drunk person slams a glass of alcohol next to you, probably mistaking you for someone else, which gives you a ton of small cuts.

Jason quickly puts on his mask and breaks into the bar. He beats up any drunk person who tries to stop him from reaching you.

Your sober friend tries to pull you away from the fight but is worried about all of your cuts

Red Hood suddenly appears to drag you and your friend away from the fight.

The fight gets worse and some random person seems to have called the ambulance

When the ambulance arrives, your sober friend hands you over to them and Red Hood disappears

You’re given a few bandages before the medic has to focus on another injured individual

In your dizzy state, you manage to slip away to stop the ringing in your ears

Something in you also told you it wasn’t safe to go to the hospital

Walking through an alley, your bandages seem to loosen and you eventually collapse on the ground from blood loss

Red Hood steps away for a second and you suddenly disappear.

He didn't want to be seen by the ambulance so he got onto a nearby rooftop to update Nightwing on the situation.

At least you didn't get far but the blood pooling under you slowly grows. This would be the second time you died

Nightwing appears and finds you wrapped up in a jacket while Red Hood picks you up off the ground.

One of the walls of the alley seems to have gotten a hole from Red Hood punching it out of frustration

Getting closer, Nightwing can see that you were given fresh bandages before being wrapped up in Red Hood’s jacket.

Also, you’re still breathing!

Seeing that you may still be alive, you’re taken to Nightwing’s apartment

Red Hood places you on the bed while Nightwing contacts Batman.

After one final look over and a blanket thrown over your body, Red Hood joins Nightwing in the living room

You slowly wake up in an unknown room and immediately sit up

The first thing you notice is how dark the room is

Squinting a bit, you find a lamp on the nightstand and turn it on

You find yourself in a bedroom with a blue and black color palette

There’s a desk in front of the bed with two computer monitors

You turn on the computer to see the date and immediately recognize a name

Richard Grayson

The name is enough to fill you with annoyance but you try to stay focused

How did you get here? Are you back in Gotham? Back at the manor?

You go to the bedroom door to find a living room instead of a hallway

Maybe you were still in Bludhaven?

This room definitely looks like it belongs to Dick

You never found his room in the manor but you did learn about some of his interests when you tried to befriend him (Alfred had to tell you all this)

As you finish snooping around the bedroom, a sound from the other room makes you freeze up

You quickly turn the light off, lay back on the bed, close your eyes and pretend to be sleeping

There are some voices in the living room but it's hard to hear past the sound of your racing heartbeat

Your heart almost stops when you hear the bedroom door open and the voices get louder.

At least you can actually understand what they’re saying now

They mention Batman, Robin, Demon Spawn, and other things you don't understand.

Maybe this was Dick and his friend talking about vigilantes? Though…one of them sounds familiar….

Your train of thought is cut off by someone putting their wait on the bed and running their hand through your hair

To distract yourself, you try to recognize the voice the best you can. Could it be Nightwing? Does Dick know him?

A kiss is placed on your forehead before the two people leave the bedroom.

After waiting a couple of moments, you open your eyes and confirm that you’re alone.

You slowly slip out of bed to try to listen to hear more of their conversation.

It seems that they called someone because there are new voices but it isn't that clear

The conversation begins to scare you as they talk about you.

Calling you their sibling/daughter and status on how your injuries were healing

Based on what is being said, you figure out that five vigilantes know quite a bit about you…

Deciding that you’ve had enough, you find a way to sneak out of the apartment

Looking out the window, it looks like you're a few floors high.

You carefully open the window as quietly as you can and peek outside to find a fire escape just one window away

You must be lucky because you reach the stairs safely and immediately start going down the stairs

The sun is about to rise and you realize that you don't know where you are

You run around for an unknown amount of time before finding a bus stop

There isn't any money on you so you just pick up a map for the bus route

Looking over the map, you’re able to find a familiar street before finally making it home

It took you a long time to get a new key because you basically had nothing on you but eventually, you were able to finally collapse on your bed

You fall asleep immediately

By the time you wake up, it is night again

Getting up, you start making yourself some food while some research on vigilantes

Focused on finding answers, you’re able to connect the dots on who the vigilantes are based on your information from when you lived in the manor

At some point, a knock is heard from your window

On instinct, you walk over to your window and open your curtains

Seeing Nightwing and his dumb smile fills you with rage. Which you are more than happy to let him know

You close your curtain and can faintly hear Nightwing trying to talk to you from the other side of the window

Well, it seems that you now know their identity

Jason saw and heard you run off. He and Dick were about to follow but Bruce told them to not follow you

The next night, Jason watch you reject Dick as he tried to pretend last night didn’t even happen

But it seems you weren’t having any of it

Dick returns to Jason, dejected

A new plan would have to be made, and Tim knows exactly how to get back on track

[mytheoristavenue]

CSM Aki Hayakawa x Reader 🍋 - Attitude Adjustment

Kinktober 2024 IV

Snowballing + Hair pulling

Summary: Aki has warned you, his new partner not to nag him countless times. You just don't listen, do you?

Warnings: Snowballing, cum eating, hair pulling, oral (m!receiving), fem!reader, brat taming, degradation, praise, spoilers for anime/vol. 3 manga, brat!reader

"Do you have to smoke every five minutes?" You scoffed, rolling your eyes and fanning the smoke away from your face. "I can feel my lungs deteriorating just walking beside you."

"Then walk in front of me." Aki simply replied, taking a long drag off his cigarette and purposefully exhaling from the corner of his mouth. You coughed dramatically in response, batting the air.

"So you can stare at my ass all day? As if!" You retorted with a pout.

"I'm not that kinda guy," He reminded you sternly, finishing off his smoke and dropping the butt, stepping on it as he went.

"All guys are that kinda guy," You sneered, stepping in front of him despite your protests. "No matter how hard they try to hide it."

You and Aki had only worked together for a few weeks, following the simultaneous deaths of your partners. Needless to say, you vexed one another greatly. You were both the 'glass half empty' type, and your late partners were the opposite, making for great dynamics, but this- this was never going to work, you were simply too alike. However, you differed in one way: Aki tended to keep most of his grievances to himself while you were never shy about voicing them. Every single minute one.

You nagged him for smoking, his recklessness, his gloomy demeanor, everything. At every turn, he was met with your attitude, making him all the more stormy. He'd appealed to Makima for a new partner multiple times but she wouldn't budge. He was truly stuck with you.

"God, you know coffee is allowed to taste good, right?" Here you were with your snide remarks again, bringing him coffee like you did every morning. "I'll never understand why you like plain black coffee."

"I don't know, at least it's now weighed down with sugar like that crap you drink." He scoffed, taking it from you as he exited his apartment with you in tow.

"At least I enjoy the crap I put in my body." You rolled your eyes. Aki smirked at you- for possibly the first time- over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I bet you do." He laughed dryly. "Bet you love putting crap in your body, huh?"

Your eyes widened and your entire face reddened, up to the tips of your ears. "S-Shut up! Are you calling me a whore?!" Well, that was new. In all the time he'd known you, he'd never seen you get flustered like this.

"I didn't say that," He deadpanned before smirking again, pausing, causing you to collide with his back. "But if the shoe fits..."

"W-Whatever, like I care what you think!" You pouted, backing away a few steps as he turned to face you.

"Oh, I think you might," He teased. "Why else would your face be so red, hmm?"

You steeled yourself, unused to him bullying you in such a way, before smirking deviously up at him. "I'm not worried, I've heard about your reputation." You snickered, feeling as if you were gaining the upper hand. Little did you know, your next words would seal your fate. "Even if you did have an effect on me, you wouldn't know what to do with me."

Aki's expression darkened, taking the insult as a challenge. His hand found your wrist as he chuckled. "You think so?"

Your victorious demanor fell when you saw his shift but you doubled down. "Yeah, I do." Before you knew it, he had stormed off passed you, back towards his apartment building, dragging you along behind him. The heat in your cheeks returned and you limply followed, understanding that challenging him was a mistake. "H-Hey, wait, where are we going?" You asked meekly, despite already knowing.

"Back to my place." He said sternly. "To test out those bold claims of yours." You gulped as you crossed the threshold to his building, immediately being pulled to the elevator. Once inside, he eagerly pressed the button to prematurely close the doors, followed by his floor number.

"A-Aki, I was joking..." You muttered nervously. "B-Besides, we have to get to work, we're gonna be late."

"We got stuck in traffic." He answered firmly. "Right?" He glanced at you with a sharp pointed stare. You got the hint.

"R-Right."

The remaining minute of the elevator ride felt like it lasted an hour, tension in the air thick enough to choke on. "Aki, I-"

"Don't." He cut you off, and you obeyed instantly, which made him giddy on the inside. "It's obvious that something has to give before we can get along and I know just the thing to clear the air."

You swallowed as the doors opened and he took your wrist again, speed walking down the hall. He wasted no time in unlocking the door and pulling you inside. "W-What's that?" You asked bravely, stepping inside.

He shut and locked the door behind you with a disturbingly calm smile before approaching. "You just need an attitude adjustment."

-----

Everything had moved so quickly that you could hardly grasp the chain of events. One moment, you were pushed against his front door, whimpering softly as his lips trailed down your throat. The next you were sat on the floor, sitting between his knees on his balcony, obediently slobbering in his lap. His fingers languidly raked through your hair, balling into a fist any time you made the smallest mistake or noise. His other hand held a lit cigeratte to his lips.

Suddenly, his grip on your scalp tightened and he yanked your head up with a peaceful smile. "Hey," He murmured, as if he didn't already have your full attention. "Try it." He insisted, pressing his cigarette to your lips. You looked up at him pleadingly, eyes wet, drool and pre coating your mouth.

Hesitantly, you parted your lips, earning a small smile from him. "Atta girl, breathe in." You did as he instructed, inhaling the smoke deeply before choking on it at couching roughly. "It's okay, baby, everyone coughs the first time." He soothed, releasing your hair to pet it softly. "There, now that's you've smoked, you're not gonna bitch at me for doing it anymore, are you?"

"N-No..." You answered shyly, laying your head in his lap, and staring up at him. Your cheek squished against his toned thigh and your eyes sparkled with admiration as you peeked through wet lashes.

"You know, you're kinda pretty when you're not nagging.." Aki chuckled, taking another drag from his cigarette, holding the smoke in his cheeks for a bit before parting his jaws. The way it slowly billowed out over his lips mesmerized you, finding it almost hypnotic how he looked in this light.

His hair was down, the first time you'd seen it that way, the band having been long since discarded, now at home on his wrist. His jacket was slung over the back of the chair, tie loose and dangling around his neck with the first few buttons of his shirt undone. "I knew you could be good, you just needed a little incentive." He mused with a peaceful smile. "Now c'mon and finish the job, baby. Quietly."

It crossed your mind to protest, but this was the nicest he'd been to you and you adored how it made you feel. Almost immediately, you went back to work, wrapping your manicured hands around his shaft, pumping lazily before guiding his tip to your lips. You took him as deeply as you could, bobbing your head up and down, letting him slide in and out of your throat.

Aki let you do all the work, figuring you owed him that much at least for putting up with your nonsense. His head lulled back against his nape, cigarette hanging from his lips as he let go of what could only be described as the prettiest sounds you'd ever heard. His voice was deep and breathy, moans all coming from the back of his throat as he let you work. He could feel when you hollowed out your cheeks, sucking him more insistently, stroking what you couldn't take with a spit coated hand.

His fist tightened further in your hair, tugging at your scalp more harshly the closer he got. Your eyes rolled back a bit at the firm pull, pulling a string of whimpers from your throat, vibrations only serving to spur him on further. Eventually, you felt him push your head down, burying your face in his lap as his hips instinctively began to jerk. You immediately relinquished control, letting him set a quicker pace than you previously kept.

All you could do was sit there and take his abuse as he repeatedly hit your gag reflex, totally unbothered by the grotesque sounds that came as a result. "Ahhh, fuck," He hissed, on the verge of tipping into oblivion. "Just a little more, be so quiet for me, pretty girl." He hushed, crushing the end of his cigarette in his teeth. You steeled yourself in an effort to silence the lewd reactions you were giving, wanting nothing more than to please him.

Within moments, you could feel warm spurts splash your uvula, startling you briefly. He never stopped or pulled out like you'd expected. He simply held your head still as he rode through his high, fucking more seed into your pretty mouth. He could feel your throat begin to tense with the action of swallowing, your mouth too full to resist. "D-Don't swallow," He demanded, trailing a hand down to your throat, squeezing lightly to prevent the reaction. "Don't you fuckin' dare."

You looked up at him with glistening eyes, silently pleading for relief from your full cheeks, but he wouldn't budge. Aki slowly and carefully began to pull out, his stone face hiding animalistic desire. "Kiss me," He finally sighed, slumping in the chair, hoisting you up by your hair. You eagerly crawled up, standing on your knees as he knelt down, pressing his lips to yours.

You had expected a brief peck but, Aki was full of surprises. Instead, you were met with a hot, open-mouthed kiss, his lips kneading against yours as his tongue parted them, letting his jizz flood into his mouth. You were too dazed with the intensity of the moment to notice when he'd begun to swallow, little by little. Before you knew it, there was hardly anything left but a small puddle under his tongue which was the remnant of what had been passed back and forth. Then, he pulled back.

"If you could be this good at listening at work, we might get somewhere." He grinned wolfishly.

-----

Your mood shift was monumental and could be felt all throughout the office. Many remarked that you were suddenly like an entirely different person ever since the day you were both late. You always dismissed the rumors with some boring excuse, and this time was no exception.

"My my," Makima mused, stirring her fresh cup of coffee in the break room. "You seem to be quite chipper as of late. Any particular reason?"

"Not at all!" You beamed sweetly, pouring a cup of plain black coffee and setting it to the side. "I just love my job, that's all. I enjoy being here." She eyed you knowingly as you began pouring a second cup, dumping loads of sweetness into it.

"I trust you and Aki have settled your differences, then?" She asked, leaning against the counter. "Is that for him?"

You nodded sheepishly. "We had a nice heart-to-heart." You smiled softly, picking up both finished cups and heading for the door.

"I'm so glad to hear that, I thought I was going to have to reassign you both." Your boss smiled after you, not deceived in the slightest.

You paid no attention to her interest, happily trotting off to find your partner, greeting him with a sweet smile, which he graciously returned. "Morning, Aki! I brought your coffee, black just how you like it!"

Your change in demeanor warmed his heart and he gently took the cup from you. "You're too sweet for me," He cooed, sipping it with a satisfied sigh. "I wonder what's had you in such a good mood lately."

You glared at him playful, hardly amused with his coy attitude. "You know exactly what it is, dummy." Ever since that first occasion, you'd spent multiple nights together, activities far surpassing just oral. Aki chuckled a bit, leaning into your ear conspiratorially.

"There that pesky little attitude again... Why don't I fuck it out of you again tonight?"

[pampushky]

i hate the air he breathes his foolish decrees

Alpha! Lando Norris/Omega! Lauda! Reader - chapter 2 - 5k

woooo welcome to part 2 my loves! sorry for the slight wait. I've been doing hot bitch shit (my actual job). but now we're back. enjoy the fuck out of it. TW: no mention of abuser other than as him. mentions of abandonment and severe physical trauma in the form of a house fire. lore drop on the main character too!!

previous part | next part | masterlist | series masterlist

Mid-March 2005. Los Angeles.

Niki gets a call from an unknown number that wakes him up from a deep slumber, and he hardly has any time to think as he’s pulling a sweater over his head and forgoing a hat entirely. It’s his third day in as your legal guardian, and you’re already transferred to a state-of-the-art hospital in Los Angeles, across the country from where you’d lived previously. A newer set of mountains. A city to the hamlet you’d once known, hidden away in the foggy mountains of North Carolina.  

As he blearily walks into the hospital lobby, there’s already a small team of doctors waiting for him, explaining rapidly what's happening to you as they walk him up to your room in the burn ward. You’re in the best hospital for burns on the continent— Niki had made sure of it. Had paid for the flight over here two days ago, with a medical staff on board to keep you stable during the five-hour flight. 

The doctors swarming around your unconscious form resemble vultures. The burn center director explains everything to him when they finally get to your room. The rapid medical treatment nearly made you present early. Freakishly early, by all standards. It’s understood to have been a panic response by your body— because you're on the brink of death in the burn ward, your hormones so out of whack that for whatever reason, your brain had gone, ‘Oh, yes, it’s time to do that now.’

Studies had shown that those in areas where the risk of death was high often presented much earlier, with other cases that also supported something known as “panic presentation”. You’re an extreme example of the latter. But it had never been seen to this degree. You need to be knocked out for several days, going comatose while a team of doctors works around the clock to save your life while it seems likely you will melt away like the first snowfall on a sun-warmed road as it seems new complications get piled onto your case file every day. The way the doctor talks about you makes Niki feel like you’re more of a specimen meant for study, and not a pup who’d just lost her Dam. 

Marlene has already decorated the sterile room to reflect more on a child’s room. And wherever there’s an empty space on a table, she’s placed down vases full of fresh flowers. Flowering dogwood. That’s what the state flower was of North Carolina, and however early in the season for blooming it was, she managed to find fresh ones every day. Now, Marlene was back at the hotel, settling a new wave of interest about your identity while Niki tried to figure out what he was going to do with you when he's lead into the room.

You’re already on several new medications to prevent you from presenting early, having them inserted in through an IV and eventually, to be taken as a pill when you could swallow. You'll be on these same medications until you’re seven or eight, when they can start to consider weaning you off of them to let you present then because it’ll be safer. Niki hates the idea of you presenting even then. You should be almost fully grown when you present. Not— not still a pup. With baby teeth still in your mouth. You should be wrestling. Learning to access your canine form, and causing mayhem like his sons had. 

So he does what he’s been doing for the past five days. Niki sits quietly by your side in your private room. Holding your tiny hand while a machine breathes for you, not even five years old, and fighting for your life. Completely unaware of the complications your existence has thrown straight into Niki’s lap, dredging up old, old wounds that his sons have yet to recover from.

Because the great complication is that you’re his biological grandchild. 

Through a son, a beta, that neither Lukas nor Mathias had gotten to know. Or Niki, for that matter. But here you are. The only link to that son. To the ultimate undoing of his marriage and mating, his infidelity thrown back in his face in the form of a sedated, traumatized pup that can’t understand him through his accent.

Left without a dam, your mother. Lost to the roaring flames of a housefire that you’d somehow survived. Part of Niki wants to know how his son had ended up in the area, and if there are any other new descendants he should know about. So he petitions the court to gain access to your files before he legally adopts you, and he stares down at them before finally lifting the cover of the manila folder and starts to read.

All the files seem to stare right on back at Niki as he continues to pour through them, officially five minutes and nine seconds into being your legal guardian. They’re meticulous, just as expected— it had become standard for anyone who’d had so much as a visit to a hospital to create a DNA profile, especially after they presented. His affair child’s profile stares back at him, with what he can only assume is an up-to-date photo. Male. Beta. Signed away parental rights before birth. Austrian nationality. That’s all you have to go on for your biological father’s identity. 

That’s all that linked Niki to you, and how the social worker had managed to contact him. All other positive matches from your father’s side are his former mistress as your biological grandmother and his two sons with Marlene as your uncles. There are no other pups listed for his affair child. No other grandchildren that he has to worry about. Your dam’s profile is more complete. A smiling picture of her holding you as an infant, left by her family.

Female. Omega. Deceased. American nationality, born in Banner Elk, North Carolina. 

And under that:

Dam’s pack signed away pack and next of kin rights to the pup. Relevant health history is accessible through the International UN DNA database. Pack requested no contact order until the pup has reached legal age, or unless the pup does not survive her time in hospital, so they may bury her in the family plot with her Dam.

This makes a chill run down Niki’s spine. Your pack had… signed you away? The only people who had been familiar to you��� and they had signed away their rights as though you were more of a burden than anything, only asking for you back if you were dead. It makes him shudder, as he looks down at your tiny body again, for what must have been the thousandth time since he’s been introduced to you. Since he’d so quickly agreed to become your legal guardian, your legal sire. Covered in bandages and hooked up to dozens of wires. 

The social worker explained that signing you away was them not wanting to pay for the massive medical bill, along with the scandal your birth had caused in the small community. Your Dam was unmated, and even worse, unmarried, raising you on her own in a less-than-up-to-code cabin her late father had left her, further out in the mountains, a thirty-minute drive into town. 

The matriarch of her pack had been well-regarded in the area— it was an open secret that she was looking for any excuse to remove you from the picture. This just happened to be the perfect excuse. How was she going to be able to pay for your medical costs on her own when it was just her? All the advanced treatments you’d need— it would be too much in her old age.

When told about the Children’s Health Insurance Programs that could easily provide care for you, your grand-dam had just made a sour face and told the Social Worker she was still signing away her rights. Her surviving children were quick to follow her lead.

What a backward system. Niki had growled to himself, pacing in the room. Reading the reports from the insurance company he’d managed to legally bully his way into receiving from your biological family. 

The cabin had burnt down in nearly an hour. You’d been trapped under a metal bed frame when the roof collapsed in on itself. When they’d found you, it had been a recovery effort for bodies. And despite it all, you’d survived, your whimpering and crying alerting the firefighters that you were alive. Severely burnt, with the old mattress and polyester blankets having melted and dripped across your little body as the embers settled. Half of your body severely burnt from where the flames could still reach you. Crying out for your Dam even as you were airlifted to the nearest hospital with a functioning burn ward.

Going over your files has become a habit for first past three days. Ever since Marlene had gone silent when Niki told her that he was going to adopt you, before brusquely starting to order furniture and calling countless contractors that a new pup-friendly room be added to his house in Hof. He’s lucky to at least be considered a friend of his former mate, otherwise, he would be stumbling through his second round of parenting. He looks down at the newest addition to his pack. You. Four and a half. With burns covering an incredible amount of your body. Nearly 45% percent of your torso, completely mangling one of your legs, crawling up your neck and dancing across your jaw. Now lying in a medically-induced coma to conserve your energy. 

You wake up nearly two days later. Five days into Niki’s tenure as your legal sire. Unable to scream. Eyes fixed on Niki as your little chest heaves with the effort it takes to breathe. You pull at your IV and try to snap at a nurse who tries to stop you. But your eyes are still fixed on Niki, likely horrified by his burns. You were glancing at your own bandaged arms and body as if to gauge how you would one day look. 

There is a wild look in your eyes as you look at him. The way you tremble as the doctors try to explain everything. It hurts Niki’s heart, especially with the gasping noise you let out before they sedate you again when you’re still not responding well to anything. Niki wants to wrap you up in his arms and never let you go. You mumble something out as you drift away again, tears in the corners of your eyes. Foggy eyes on the extravagant bouquets of flowers on the tables beside your bed and across the room.

Where is my Dam? 

Early February 2024. Woking.

Your left leg was acting up again. It always did when you were stressed. The fire had mangled it— and that was putting it lightly. Not bad enough to amputate, because that would be too easy, and they didn’t want to send your body into even more shock. So you had your crispy, chicken-fried, useless leg. You could put some weight on it now, after nearly twenty years of intense therapy and correcting surgeries. But it was still incredibly weak. All twisted, mottled skin and a full knee replacement.

That’s what had made it so easy for him. That’s what had made it easy for him to chase you down as you tried to leave every situation that saw him near you. Easily able to keep pace with your shambling, stress-induced walk as you choked on his scent. 

Your upper thigh twinges. The needle pierces your skin all over again. That was the only reason you’d been able to walk away without experiencing a true heat from whatever drug he’d hit you with. The bad, mangled leg of yours. Your downfall and savior. 

The halls are winding, but you can vaguely follow the way to your office from previous talks. You call Lewis the moment you get to the room. There’s already a brand-new mini fridge sitting on your desk, likely from the accommodations you’d listed in the countless documents you’d had to sign when you got hired. 

There’s a few people unboxing your items and they look a bit shocked to see you back from what was supposed to be a much longer meeting.

“Ms Lauda—”

“Leave, please,” you whisper while pacing across the room, trying to calm yourself down. You can feel your scent-blocking, adhesive strips tingling. Your scent glands, especially the damaged ones, threatening to blister from the stress of what just happened. You were going to be sacked for certain. Not only had you yelled at the driver you were meant to work with, you’d also thrown an empty can at him. “I’d like some space.”

The workers, your new assistants, you realize, hurry out, not even catching your mumbled thanks as you tuck yourself into a corner where you can’t be seen from the door. So much different than Williams. So much more support. Lewis doesn’t pick up immediately, but just as you’re about to call again, his contact photo appears on your screen. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay—” Is the first thing you hear, like the protective older brother he’s always situated himself as in your life. “What room are you in? I still haves ways to get into the classified parts of the MTC—” 

“I’m going to fucking kill Lando Norris,” You growl into the phone, and Lewis lets out a relieved noise, before breaking off into a fit of laughter, his voice more distant as if he’s trying to muffle himself. “Don’t laugh! That fucking brat, I should box his goddamn ears, showing up nearly an hour late to what was supposed to be our initial meeting—” 

“Ah, yeah, sounds like Lando!” 

“Fuck off, Lewis,” You whine, and he has the audacity to laugh even harder, because your accent slips, as it always seems to do when you’re with your immediate pack. You can hear him shuffle a bit. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t,” You concede to him with a soft sigh. You hear the chortling barks of Roscoe in the background of Lewis’s call. “I’m gonna do my job. But I’m gonna hate it. Unless I get switched to Oscar.”

“Don’t sound too hopeful.” Lewis chides on the other side of the phone, and you hear the doorknob jiggle, followed by a soft knock. “Sounds like you have some work to do.” 

He hangs up before you can say something in response to him, leaving the gentle knocking on the door to slowly drive you insane. Likely Andrea or Zak, telling you that you were going to be let go for committing a minor assault against their star driver. 

And you're right, it is Zak. But he looks more concerned than angry with you, immediately putting his hands up in a placating manner when you open the door as if you’re the one with all the power and he’s not the CEO of McLaren Racing, your ultimate boss. Your boss’s boss. The one who bulldozed his way into getting you on the team because he’d seen your work to get at least a modicum of respect back to Williams, and, in his own words, got a good vibe from you.

(And maybe Niki had been in his ear a little bit about it, but when Niki Lauda spoke, people had a habit of listening rather closely to whatever he said.)

“Mr. Brown,” You start formally, leaning down in a way that is traditionally seen as submitting and a very, very formal way to apologize before he starts to squawk in surprise at it all. 

“Don’t– What are you submitting for— are you alright?!”

The last thing you expect is Zak fretting over you like you’re a pup. He’s gently squishing your cheeks with his hands, checking you over, and you can see his nose twitching, as if he’s checking your scent for any signs of distress. Only to look confused by how… clean, you smell.

“Are you— are you still hurt from everything?”

“No, I just,” You take a step backward, and hold up your hands just like he had just been doing for you a few seconds ago. “It’s easier to hide my designation when I smell like this.”

He just looks confused at your explanation but doesn’t seem to question it.

“And you… want to continue hiding it?”

“Preferably.”

Even as you say it, you can see a bit of pity in his eyes. You know his mate is an omega. He has a pup who’s an omega. Both of which he supports wholeheartedly. You’d seen all the articles. Part of you is jealous. Another part just wants everyone to stop caring about what your designation may be. Why should anyone care what you are? 

You’re proud of yourself, regardless of your designation. You’re not some prize to be won! You can stand on your own two feet, you can take care of yourself. You had more than shown that—

Zak is hugging you. Rumbling softly like any parent would do for a distressed pup.

“You don’t have to justify it. I just need to know so I can make sure that no one else is told, aside from our medical people.” He whispers, and you sag against him. Relief fills your mind. “What— what do people think you’ve presented as?”

“Alpha. Like Vati. They think I’m an Alpha.” 

“We can work with that,” Zak pulls away, looking at you. There’s only worry in his eyes. “Can I ask one more thing?”

“Yeah,” You sniffle, not realizing you’d starting to tear up as you look at him. “What is it?”

“Why…. did you throw an empty can of Red Bull at Lando? You’re not in trouble, I just want to know why.”

You flush, and Zak just starts to laugh. 

McLaren is much, much different than Williams.

Lando has been sitting in a chair while Oscar screams at him. Andrea has disappeared. It’s been ten minutes and all he wants to do is curl up and die and apologize for commenting on your voice and being late and not charging his phone and really, every other thing that he’d done wrong, ever.

Yes. He is technically the older one. No, he shouldn’t be acting like such a pup over this.  

Yes. He should know better than to comment on things that people can’t change or help about themselves.

Yes, Oscar, Lando was aware that you had survived a very traumatic house fire that nearly killed you. No, it’s not okay that he called you a robotic bitch. No, he didn’t read the email about the apparent triggers that you had from this event. Frankly, he wasn’t even aware that they had emailed those to him. That seemed like a bit much.

“I mean seriously, Lando! This is ridiculous! Fucking calling her that!” 

It feels like he’s being lectured by his Dam again, her words blending English into Flemish until he can’t tell what she’s saying, just that she’s pissed at him. Instead, it’s just Oscar’s accent getting thicker and thicker until Lando’s certain he’s never heard anyone sound so furious with him, and that’s really saying something. 

“I get it,” Lando whines, letting his head slip so that he can press his forehead against the table. And he does feel bad! Really! “I didn’t know she’d respond like that!”

“Wonderful excuse to be a fuckhead, champ,” Oscar drawls, eyes narrowed. His arms are folded. He looks unimpressed. He smells more, now than ever, of rotting oranges. Lando can imagine the maggots. “I’m shocked you didn’t comment on her designation as well.”

“She’s an alpha! And she smells so medicine-y,” Lando wrinkles his nose, lifting up his head enough to glare at the omega in front of him. Oscar’s face is a blank mask of annoyance, with a flicker of some other mystery emotion. But he can at least tell what he’s thinking because he can smell his displeasure from across the room. It’s all rotten oranges, burning rubber, and singed hair. “C’mon! I didn’t know it’d set her off that much, man!”

“Commenting on traumatic events tends to do that to people.”

“How was I supposed to know it was traumatic?!”

“Wow, you really didn’t read any of the emails,” Oscar lets out a low huff, sitting across from Lando in one of the plush office chairs. “We’ve been in talks with her for weeks!”

“You were in talks with her, maybe,” Lando says snidely, narrowing his gaze at the omega across from him, “I didn’t think I needed a new race engineer, yet here we are. But you seemed awfully interested when you heard she was looking for a new team.”

Oscar scoffs. His cheeks turn slightly pink. “No, I wasn’t. She’s a good friend. I thought she’d be a good fit for the team.”

“Oh, so this has nothing to do with the fact that you have such an obvious crush on her? I bet Logan even helped set you up,” Lando knows he’s been a dick again. But he’s frustrated. He’ll get lectured by his therapist for this later, and he’s okay with that. He just needs to make Oscar squirm a little for his high-and-mighty attitude. “You want her pups, I bet. Already have the first three named.”

“Fuck off,” Oscar snarls, and Lando decides to keep digging a bit more. “It’s not like that! Besides— I’m courting someone!”

An awkward silence settles between the two. Oscar’s flushed pink. And Lando starts to grin. All evil like, in Oscar’s opinion. Gleefully, in his own. 

"Oh, but it is!” Lando chimes, his voice all sing-songy. He’s in full older brother mode. He knows exactly what to do to push Oscar’s buttons now that his teammate has shown his weakness. He’s done this with his sisters. And Oscar’s probably used to being the one doing the tormenting, as his family’s oldest pup. “You like her!” And then, with a very dramatic gasp, “Oh, you’re probably courting her! No wonder you wanted her here!”

Without so much as a warning, the Australian driver leaps at him with a snarl the moment the words are out of his mouth. They’re both tussling on the ground, before it turns into the two of them in their canine forms, snapping and snarling at each other. This is when Andrea decides to make a reappearance, looking a bit startled to see a mousy-brown wolf and a dark-brown wolf rolling around on the floor of the conference room. Oscar is large for an omega in his canine form, but still smaller than Lando. Lando is wirey, not as bulky as many would expect an Alpha to be. It’s rather evenly matched, considering how often the two of them are training. 

One moment, Lando has Oscar pinned. Another, Oscar has him pinned. Snarling and biting and kicking until the door opens again, and now it’s Andrea, Zak, and yourself watching the two of them wrestle until you fearlessly walk into the fray and grab Oscar by one of his hind legs.

Oscar turns human again immediately, hitting the ground with a loud ‘oof’ while Lando scurries away, watching as you start to lecture the other driver as he stands up. Your tone is hushed, but it’s clear that this seems to be a common occurrence between the two of you. You’re leaning over him, and the rumblings of annoyance and displeasure are clear as day.

Lando can’t help but smirk as the other man makes fleeting eye contact with him as you sit on his side of the table, taking your place as his engineer, despite your obvious contempt for him. 

“Now, let's get to business…” Andrea sighs. You keep your eyes ahead. Hands folded neatly in front of you. Letting his words blur until you feel Oscar gently tugging on your arm. He looks concerned, and you smile tiredly at him. Only just remembering the promise of cuddling in his nest with him when this was all done. 

You don’t even care if you look or act nothing like the Alpha that Lando thinks you are. You just slump against Oscar with a grumpy half-whine as he hoists you over his shoulder. The other driver lets out a loud snort at that, and your friend only glares at him, about to say something else before you bring one of your hands to tap his cheek lightly.

“Just get to th’nest,” You mumble, leaning against him. Your leg aches. You don’t want to walk. “Wanna get th’blockers off.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Oscar sighs, glaring at Lando over his shoulder before walking past with you in his arms. You don’t care about how it looks. You’ll deal with it later. And before you know it, you’re curled in the world’s comfiest nest, all in shades of orange and black. With the comforting scent of sweet tangerines and charcoal. Oscar hands you a nice little bottle of micellar water to help get the sticky adhesive of the blockers off, much more gentle with your skin than you ever are with yourself. He’s even soaked cotton rounds to make it a bit easier to apply, gently rubbing them across your scarred glands to clear any remnants of the adhesive off of your skin.

The smells of mountain rain and fresh baked peach cobbler mix with Oscar’s scent as you stretch, rubbing your cheeks tiredly.

You let yourself relax then. Sinking deep into the soft pillows as Oscar comes to spoon you from behind. A commonplace action, and had been since he started to get more and more bold with you in his attempts to court you. 

You can hear Oscar start to Facetime someone, probably Logan. But you honestly don’t care all that much— he’s there, and you’ll give your friend a full debrief, of course, after you’ve fully rested. 

“Your leg acting up?”

Oscar nudges you, and you grumble, trying to press your face further into the plushness of the nest, voice muffled by pillows. “Who cares if it is?”

“I do.”

“So do I!” Logan chimes in from the phone, and you roll over enough to glare at him. “Did you take all your meds, mouse?”

“Unfortunately, yes. So I’m afraid you’ll just have to put me down at this point—”

You don’t even have time to respond as Oscar cuffs your ear. You let out a dramatic whine, actually letting yourself act on your instinctual noises. Nothing hurts, of course. Oscar’s always been gentle, making sure nothing actually hurts when he wrestles with you or cuffs your ears. 

“Did you have to get my bad ear?” You whine, looking accusingly at the Aussie who just grins down at you, cuffing the same ear once again. “I’m gonna tell Lewis.”

“He doesn’t scare me, and besides, he’d probably agree with me! All, ‘C’mon, Mousey, that’s not how your therapist said to cope with your trauma—”

“That’s a bit scary, how accurate that was,” You prop yourself up to glare at your dear friend, only to smile broadly at him. You can’t help it, really. He manages to make you smile, even when you feel like shit. And even when he cuffs your bad ear by mistake, after swearing he won’t do it again.

In truth, the ear looks almost melted. It’s usually carefully hidden by your personal stylist, with hair masterfully combed over it. The skin around it— luckily missing your scalp— was mottled and pink. What was left of your ear was little more than a small ridge of skin and cartilage at this point, and was much the same in your canine appearance, just more dramatic without all the fur. The upper half of your ear was utterly gone, along with most of the lobe. It was the ear you were deaf in. 

“Can it even hurt if you’re deaf?”

“Yeah! Doesn’t mean it’s gone numb to the feeling,” you pout, looking at him as he sets his chin on your shoulder. Logan giggles from FaceTime. He’s set up somewhere, Williams blue all around him that makes you avert your gaze but continue talking to him nonetheless. “Ugh. Logan, I almost killed Lando.”

“She threw a can of Red Bull at him,” Oscar clarifies, to his rather shocked-looking boyfriend and courting partner. To his credit, it takes a few seconds before Logan starts to cackle.  

“It was empty!” You protest back, but there’s a wide smile on your face as you hazard a glance at your former partner. “He was being a little bitch!”

“Should I be offended I didn’t get the same treatment my first day?” Logan’s voice crackles and his face is frozen on the screen with a mix of a confused look and smirk, before serenading both of you with a jumbled, robotic mess before the call abruptly ends. 

“Stupid wifi,” Oscar mumbles, pulling the phone away to text his boyfriend to see what happened. You just settle back into your side of the nest, closing your eyes and letting yourself drift off while Oscar’s comforting scent wafts over in you waves. You could just about fall asleep when there’s a gentle knock at the door, followed by Andrea poking his head in. 

He blinks at the two of you. You blink back at him, already knowing you won't be able to take a much-needed like you had originally planned.

“Ah! Ms Lauda— can I speak with you for a second?”

“Can I do it from here?” you try to press yourself deeper into Oscar’s nest. You’d need to find a place to make one here— a nice, private room. Somewhere you can easily reapply your scent blockers and can fully surrender to your instincts until you were comfortable with more people knowing about your designation. “Took off my blockers.”

“Of course. I just wanted to check in, make sure everything was alright after… how the meeting went.”

There’s a hearty pause. As if he can tell you’re thinking over your words carefully.

“It certainly… went.”

“Ah. And… no other comments?”

“I meant what I said. You baby Lando.” You shift slightly. Tiredly. Giving the team principal the trademark Lauda stare from where you’re comfortably curled into the nest. So soft, yet so harsh at the same time.

“Then it’s a good thing you’re here to fix that,” Andrea smiles politely at you, and ducks out of the room without another word. You just settle deeper into Oscar’s nest, wondering what in the hell you’d gotten yourself into. The only thing on your mind when you finally manage to fall asleep is how much you miss your mother's fresh peach cobbler.

tags: @the-holy-trinity-l @laura-naruto-fan1998 @amalialeclerc @st0rmzi3 @poppyflower-22 @hiireadstuff @seonghwaexile @mrsmelinda

[dromaeo-sauridae]

big cave post

you like caves? no? im showing you anyway. you hear cave and probably think of like, a video game cave. maybe a minecraft cave with axolotls? while i have my gripes with axolotls in caves, this is about the caves themselves. so here, lets get started:

number 1, lod cave in thailand. now, i could do a whole posts about JUST caves in thailand, but here's your first taste of caves from this area. this is a karst cave, formed by water trickling through soluble rock like limestone. it's what most of the caves on this list are going to be. it's one of the most common types of caves. if you've been inside a cave, it was probably a karst. very cool! i particularly enjoy the man shaped stalagmite in the middle (joke, thats just a real guy)

number 2, ellison's cave in georgia, usa. featuring a drop over a thousand feet deep, this one is pretty high on my bucket list. this is what's called a chute, formed by waterfalls cascading downwards. not recommended for people with a fear of heights! if you watch jacon geller, youve probably heard of this type of formation when he talked about krubera (not on this list, sadly)

number 3, mammoth cave in kentucky, usa. one i've been to! mammoth is the longest cave system in the ENTIRE world, that we know of. another one the jacob geller fans are familiar with. i would love to go back someday, pictures dont convey the magnitude of this place. they also used to host church services in here. well worth the visit

number 4, han son doong in vietnam. the LARGEST cave in the world! wait, didnt i already list that? nope, while mammoth is the longest and is massive in its own right, son doong trumps it by having a ceiling 660 feet (200 meters) high. it has stalagmites the size of skyscrapers. its one of the many caves in southeast asia to have its own rainforest system. a bit of a hike to get there, but another i desperately want to visit someday.

number 5, fingal's cave in scotland. though not record setting, its one youve probably seen before. or, maybe my perspective has been skewed as someone who looks at a LOT of caves. ive seen this exact picture more times than i can count. its a sea cave formed from our good friend columnar basalt. upon further research, apparently its also known for its natural acoustics. the more you know!

number 6, grotta azurra in capri. that photo isnt edited! only accessible by boat (and laying flat on your back to get through the entrance) this place looks ridiculously magical. i dont really have much to say about this one, i just think its really cool.

number 7, domica cave in slovakia. this one was brought to my attention by an anonymous asker (if youre still here hi) and i am in love with it. just an absolutely gorgeous cave with some of the most beautiful formations ive ever seen. just look at it! augh! the tiered pools arent something ive seen in any of the caves ive been to and theyre captivating. i love caves.

number 8, ending it off with a bang. here's the gloup.

[shoezuki]

Sampo has taken him to dozens of planets at this point, massive ships the size of celestial bodies and burnt out stars that have turned lush with discolored plant life over billions of years. Massive, writhing metropolitans and quaint, warm planets with people who gawked at their appearance. He's seen massive astral leviathans' open maws that span galaxies and ingest stars, phantom ships made of wood and bone slice through shimmering fogs. Planets composed of intertwined living beings, made of twisting and layered plant matter, places where the stars speak low sharp words and dance over his closed eyelids and make him dizzy.

But he hasn't take Gepard to his home planet.

Gepard assumed it was inevitable; he had known a while before Sampo had taken him off Jarilo-IV that Sampo wasn't from Belobog. He'd suspected it but been unsure long before Sampo mended him back to health. It was a partially spoken truth now, while Sampo divulged more information about every aspect of the universe to him.

"When are we going to your home planet?" Gepard had asked, openly, one night they spent on a waterlogged planet with specks of land, watching as the ocean jumped up and strange aquatic creatures swam through thick air.

Sampo had scoffed, Gepard watching him stand and look out over the horizon with his arms crossed. "My home planet? Please, no need to go to that lump of rock! Trust me, it's the worst planet out here. I've walked on gas giants and burning sun's that were better than that place."

"You came from it," Gepard said softly, maybe thinking Sampo would understand why there's something clinging on the inner walls of his heart that make him want to see where Sampo came from so bad. "It can't be that horrible then, right?"

Sampo doesn't speak, but he shakes his head. "Do you wanna go out? Do you think we could swim in the water... sky... thing?" He grins and Gepard let's him change the topic, content to follow Sampo.

He doesn't talk about his planet without Gepard pushing him. He doesn't talk much of anything about where he came from, how he grew up, why he apparently spent years jumping across planets long before he ended up in Belobog. Gepard asks, sometimes, when he feels maybe he can coax a response from Sampo. But he always deflects, gives vague or contradictory answers, or only responds with tame non-answers.

Sampo acts as usual; he talks constantly, about little things or memories or stuff he wants to show Gepard. When he's not talking, he's humming, tapping his fingers against the glass control panels of the ship, kicking his foot absentmindedly against his chair with a constant metallic thunkthunkthunkthunk. He always grins wide when he looks at Gepard, sometimes grabbing Gepard by his face and pressing kisses against every inch of skin so rapidly it's almost overwhelming.

Sampo talks to Gepard when he thinks he's asleep. Gepard, every time, pretends not to listen.

"I don't want to take you back."

Their bed is small, more like a cot made for one person. Gepard had offered it to Sampo the first time they'd investigated their stolen ship but Sampo had just laughed and pulled Gepard to lay with him. Every night Sampo holds Gepard, arms locked around him and keeping his head pressed to Sampo's chest, or his own body weight draped over Gepard like a weighted blanket.

Right now, he hooks his chin over Gepard's shoulder, running fingers through his blonde hair, one hand over his side. Sampo's hand ghosts over his ribs, burning through Gepard's shirt, directly over the rough, newly healed scar.

He's quiet, so painfully quiet, and gentle, with his touch faint and entirely for Sampo's own gain. Gepard nearly drifted off, but now he keeps his eyes closed, his breathing soft, hoping Sampo doesn't feel how his heart jumps when Sampo brushes a finger over the shell of his ear.

"I don't want to take you back," he repeats softly, his words dark and low with the confession, "I'd keep you in this... stupid little ship, in the stars with me forever. If I could. If you wanted. Only if you wanted."

Gepard does want it: to keep waking up to nothing but stars and Sampo's sleeping face or exhausted grin; to listen to Sampo drawl on about all the stars and planets and strange celestial lifeforms they pass with knowledge that feels bigger than Sampo himself; to be dragged from planet to planet, Sampo's hand searing new marks into his own palm and finger prints, his excitement electric and tangible.

Gepard does, deep down, want it. He wants Sampo to himself, too. To give himself entirely to Sampo. But a part of him will always be in Belebog. They both know it.

Sampo is quiet, the next morning. More than quiet--he's subdued, faraway, as if locked inside himself. Even when Sampo isn't speaking he's loud, his presence always drawing and begging for Gepard's attention. Now he seems small, curled in on himself in the piloting seat.

"Sampo?" It feels rude, wrong to break the silence with his own voice, but Gepard does. "Are you okay?" Sampo turns his head, barely, to look at Gepard where he stands against the wall. He shoots him just a smile, but says nothing. It makes more concern coil and simmer deep in his gut.

Gepard has no clue where they are now, in the vast impossibility of space. The universe is foreign to him, but Sampo treats it like an old friend, like he knows it intimately. Gepard has let Sampo take the reigns, guide them to wherever he wants to go. It had stressed him out, at first, the lack of knowing, the unfamiliarity of new worlds. But now more than ever, he's content just being with Sampo. He'd go with him anywhere.

Where they are now, though, feels different. The outside space is dark, swirling celestial bodies of black and grey and bloody reds and browns the colour of bruises. The terrain is made up of fragments of comets, rocks, shattered formations and debris. The debris varies from collections of dust to meteors larger than their ship, jagged and broken apart like Qlipoth had shattered them open with his hammer. Gepard sees the metallic glint of wrecked ships, metal shards embedded in rock and flayed among it all.

He hates this place. Gepard doesn't know if it's him, or if it's some sort of cosmic effect, but there's a heaviness pressing on him. Maybe it's something real, tangible, or maybe it's the way Sampo navigates the wreckages and meteors with a stiff ease in his shoulders.

Gepard walks up to him, quiet behind him. He wants to touch Sampo, feel the heat of him against his palms, but for some reason he feels like he can't. Instead he places his hands on the back of Sampo's seat, his fingers barely brushing against Sampo's back.

"Sampo, are you okay? If... if something is the matter, you can tell me--"

"What d'ya think?"

Gepard blinks, finding himself shocked by the weight of Sampo's gaze suddenly on him. His eyes always have a dull quality to them, the shine underneath his pupils gone save for when Gepard whispers against his skin or presses his lips across his face. Now, though, his eyes are dark, all consuming. They absorb the light and snuff it out, making the small ship feel cold. "I... what?"

"This place," Sampo hums, turning back to focus on navigating. His smile is a practised, stiff line. "It's lovely, isn't it? Or do you find it creepy? Messy? I mean, it's a lot of destruction. There's a good reason no one but ol' Sampo comes around here anymore."

Gepard frowns, feeling like Sampo's having a conversation he's not a part of. "What do you mean? What is this place?"

"There used to be a planet," he pauses, making a noise in the back of his throat, "actually, a few planets. Small ones. They'd been under the IPC's control for a looonnng time. Until they abandoned 'em after clearing all the minerals out and leaving the planets hollow."

His mouth is dry, his fingers digging into the back of Sampo's seat harshly. Sampo's voice is light, conversational, like he's explaining one of the allegedly 'boring and lame' planets they'd passed before. "The planets were basically just rocks, before the IPC made them into mining projects and shipped a bunch of people to work away there. They left the workers when the mines dried up.

"Rivet Town looks almost exactly like the mining planets did, back then." He clicks his tongue, shaking his head slightly. "The people who'd scrounged up enough money took off, taking everything they could with them. Mine supervisors left behind their working families and their kids and went back with the IPC while the planets starved slowly."

The ship slows, between asteroids and at the edge of a vast, whirling expanse of debris. It swirls around out and around a burning, black body of... of something, within the center of a shattered planet light years away from them. Gepard stares, and the sight of it burns into his eyes.

"D'you know how Masked Fools recruit people?" Sampo says it with a giggle, not waiting for a response. "Sometimes they just whisk kids away from happy families before they can remember anything. Sometimes people go to the taverns themselves and try and choke down the drinks, but that's not often. Most often, though, the Fools find hopeless, little planets and whisk away orphans seconds before... boom! Planet gone! You never forget the popping noise a collapsing, imploding planet makes."

He cackles, laughter loud and echoing off the metal walls. Gepard's hands are shaking, staring out into the ruined abyss, the remnants of planets and lives and a past Gepard can never, ever see or understand. His eyes burn and his heart aches.

Gepard lunges forward, pressing himself harshly against the chair as he wraps his arms around Sampo. He circles his chest and presses his face into the curve of his neck, holding him so tightly as if Gepard is trying to squeeze Sampo into his very being. Sampo's laughter becomes broken, wet and frantic when Gepard holds him tightly. He shakes under Gepard's tight grip, the shine of tears of Sampo's face as he continues to stare into ruined space. Sampo bites his lip, hard, to stifle himself.

"Come home," Gepard exhales, pressing his words into Sampo's skin, "come home with me. After-- after all this. I don't care how long we're out here or where else we go but please. Please come home with me. I'll copy the key to my apartment. I have enough room in my closet for you. We can--I can buy you wigs and dresses and whatever the fuck you want. Anything."

"Why?" It's a whisper, barely a question. Sampo lifts his hand and grasps the forearm pressed over his chest. "Why?"

"Because Natasha probably still needs your help, and Seele will gut me if you don't return, and Hook without a doubt misses you, and Serval pretends she hates you but still asks me how you are when you text me, and I'm in love with you." He sucks in a breath; saying it always makes him feel airy, lightheaded. "I'm in love with you, and I want you there. Why else?"

There's silence for some moments too long, Sampo still shaky in Gepard's grip. He starts to worry that he's suffocating, that it's too much, but when he tries to pull away Sampo grabs his arms and holds them there, stopping him from moving.

"... but my criminal record's gone," Sampo whines, the faintest bit of humour in his voice. He tilts his head back, eyes still red rimmed when he looks up at Gepard with a searching smile. Gepard, having spent so long with him at this point, knows what he's really saying.

"I'm sure you'll record will be as long as it was before in no time." Gepard grumbles, wrinkling his nose and letting his conflicted feelings into his tone. But he lets it drop away with a sigh, shaking his head and feeling fond. "... as long as you try not to give my Guards too much grief, Koski."

Sampo doesn't say anything, but when he smiles and laughs, when he pokes into Gepard's cheek and says that the Silvermane Captain better not go soft on him, his eyes are shining.

[ssivinee]

➢ 𝙳𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐

IVE! Band! Yujin x Band! F reader: You and Yujin didn't have the best relationship, and it has only gotten worse over the time you've known her. Although she doesn't expect those feelings and emotions to change overnight... but it does?

Word Count: 4.4k

Author's Note: This song is used in the fic, but the lyrics I've gone with are the English version just so it isn't confusing. BUT GUYS THE SONG IS SO GOOD. I HEARD IT ON BUILD-UP AND NEVER LOOKED BACK🥹.

⚠︎ Directions ⇒ Main | Previous | Next

It was a normal Friday at a rented studio. The sound of vocal warm-ups and the quiet strums of a guitar filled the air. Ningning sat on the velvet blue sofa, relaxing her mouth as she let out several loud, odd noises. Karina sat behind her drums, beating the snare drum lightly while waiting for everyone to get ready. 

Winter and Giselle could be found sitting next to Ningning, checking out their guitars. The four girls' peaceful ambiance lets you sit on the plush yellow lounge chair, legs crossed, as you focus on the pen and notebook in your hands. 

Your eyes never wavered off the paper as Ningning stood tall and proud from her seat, “I’m ready!” Her loud voice echoed throughout the room. Winter chuckles, “Of course you are,” and shakes her head. Giselle grabs your bass, heading towards you to give it. “She finally ready to go?” you ask your unnie as you shut the book and take your instrument. Giselle nods, shaking her head at Ningning’s usual antics. You sling the guitar strap over your shoulder, walking to the center of the room.

“So, what songs are we playing for this setlist?” Winter asks, tuning her guitar slightly. “As far as I’m aware, the owner wanted Spicy, Armageddon, and Lucid Dreams,” Karina tells you. “Isn’t that such a super short set?” You ask, and the others look at each other, “what?” Ningning rubs the nape of her neck, “It’s cause Yujin’s band is a majority of the first set.” 

Winter nudges the younger girl, and you can’t help but roll your eyes when hearing the name. Ahn Yujin is the girl you deemed to be your rival in every aspect. It wasn’t a secret that you two hated each other. You were sure everyone who knew the two of you was aware of that.

It all started when you and Yujin were six years old, both small girls from Daejeon who loved discovering new hobbies and talents. The two of you met in grade school and have been getting along well since you first met. You remember it so clearly: Yujin came up to you during recess, her puppy-like eyes sparkling as she gave you the friendliest smile you’ve seen. “You're the pretty girl who sits in front of the class, right?” You were taken aback at her enthusiasm and compliment, “Uhm, I do sit in the front?” You say, more as a question.

“You are her! Y/n, right?” Asked with her jumping in excitement, “Yeah?”

“I’m Ahn Yujin,” she introduces herself with her arm reached out. “Cha Y/n?” You shake the girl's hand hesitantly. “Let’s be friends from now on!” Yujin gave you no choice, which still confused you, but in the long run, you didn’t seem to mind it. You enjoyed the newfound friendship, sitting next to each other in class, hanging out at each other's houses, basically, everything you’d expect friends to do. At some point, you even believed that she was your best friend. You guys had much in common: wanting high grades, loving music, liking sports, and even your favorite songs were the same.

It all changed when you guys turned ten years old. You began feeling resentment from Yujin, and you believed it was because people began heavily comparing you two. Being super alike didn’t really help; your parents, friends, teachers, and practically everyone seemed to say something good about the other and then proceeded to belittle the other. I was like a broken seesaw.

“Yujin is such an amazing singer, probably because she took vocal lessons. I told you we should’ve enrolled you in those classes,” your parents would say as you ate dinner.

“Yujin-ah, Y/n’s grades are spectacular again this year! All A’s again. You're like a daughter I wish I had,” Yujin’s parents would say when picking up Yujin from your house.

“Yujin is the MVP of this football (soccer) game. You were a close second, though, Y/n,” one of your friends said.

Those little comments slowly caused a rift between you two, and soon, the two of you began competing to be the best at anything the other was interested in. Yujin began participating and studying in school to try and beat your grades. You began to take vocal lessons and practice at home while watching YouTube videos. You would run around more in physical education to better your endurance for any sport. 

By the time you both reached middle school, you had lost any friendships. Both find new groups of friends, become popular, and even compete in that aspect. In the early days, you were hurt, and it felt like Yujin was slowly becoming your ‘enemy,’ but that all went away once you heard Yujin talking about you behind your back while you were still “friends.”

You were going to turn the corner of a corridor when you heard a familiar voice using your name, “Oh, Y/n?” Your steps paused, and you could recognize your “best friend” 's voice from a mile away. You stood still, back leaning on the wall as you listened. “I’m better than her at everything. I mean, come on, I’m the Ahn Yujin. I sing better, play sports better, have better grades, better friendships. I’m basically the better and prettier version of her. Don’t you agree?” You hear her new friends giggle and agree, feeling yourself fuming with anger from what you heard.

That's when you decided to stop being friends with her, and every interaction that followed was hostile and always had an insult. 

When college came around, you were still fated to be in the same school, and the competition stayed in course. The popular girls of the university were known as sworn enemies by everyone. During that time, you joined bands around the same time and graduated. Now, here you were, feeling as if Yujin was haunting you even when she wasn’t around.

“Are you kidding me?!” you scoff at the news Ningning shared. “You guys always seem to share the spotlight,” Winter points out, and you roll your eyes again. “Yeah, and for once, I’d like the world to divert our paths.”

“Hey, it’s not so bad. We’re going to be recognized even more because of this gig, and I know you know this, but your gonna have to suck it up, baby bear,” Karina voices, and you nod reluctantly. “Now, how about we get to practice? We’ve been here for thirty minutes, and we haven’t started. Chop chop girlies,” Karina says as she hits her drumsticks together to get us all in place and to get this show on the road.

The five of you entered the buzzing club, equipment and instruments hauling behind you. Hearing the blaring instruments on the speaker, you began nodding your head to the song. You kept appreciating the music, and you went through the sea of people through the back but quickly halted once your eyes lingered onto the stage. There you saw them, Elysium.

They were good, and they always have been. You weren’t going to deny that, but your eyes traveled to her, holding the mic stand as she sang her heart out. “This must be their new song,” you hear Giselle say beside you, and you shake your head. “Like I could give a shit,” you express. You’d rather be caught dead than be seen by Yujin ‘admiring her work’ as she would like to say. 

Since college, every performance Yujin caught you watching had her irritating you every chance she could. You knew Yujin’s flirty personality when it comes to women, but you knew she did it to you just to get on your nerves. The winks, smooches, comments as she looked at you dead in the eyes. It was all a scheme to piss you off. So you decided to ignore it usually, and this time, like usual, you did as you all made your way to the backstage area.

The five of you changed your outfits and checked on your equipment. After 20 minutes of doing that, club music began blasting on the speakers, and Giselle suggested, “Maybe we should take a small shot before our performance tonight.”

“I’d be down,” you say, standing up from the guitar case on the floor. None of you were exactly lightweights, so a small shot would help calm everyone's nerves. Going back into the sea of sweaty drunks wasn’t usually your cup of tea, but you did just to get to the bar area. “Hey, five tequila shots, please?” Karina asks the bartender, who quickly whips up the drink. The four girls begin talking as you observe the location in your world, standing at the edge of the five girls.

“Well, if it isn’t the famous Cha Y/n,” you bite your lip in annoyance at the voice and turn around to see no one other than Yujin herself, holding a cocky smirk on her face. “What do you want?” you said, practically sneering at her as she took a swig of her drink. “Can’t I just greet my long-time friend?” she says, leaning into you. You stand your ground and stay in place. “Did they let you out of the psych ward again? The delusions are kicking in,” you tell her, and the latter raises her brows. “Fighting back again, I see?” 

“When haven’t I stood up against you, Ahn?” you tell her, straightening yourself and getting more in her face. “Didn’t say you never did. You’ve just never won against me.”

“Says who?”

“Says me, babe,” she says, emphasizing 'babe' as she gets even closer to your face. “Babe, my ass, Yujin. Now maybe go talk to someone else who might give a shit about anything that comes out of your mouth.”

“Feisty, just what I’ve always liked about you, Cha,” she says, finally ending the annoying interaction as she walks away, not without giving you a seductive wink. “Maybe, I don’t know. You guys should just fuck and let bye-gones be bye-gones,” Ningning butts in as they hear the end of your conversation, taking your attention off of Yujin’s dramatic exit. “Girl, I’d have to be trying to get out of a crime for you to even get me there,” you joke, and she giggles.

“She isn’t wrong, though. I know you always say she does it to piss you off, but the damn sexual tension couldn’t even be cut by a damn chainsaw,” Giselle says with her brow raised as she holds the tequila shot in her hands. “You guys know she does that to get a rise out of me.”

“Well, clearly it works since you don’t back away from her when she comes close to you,” Karina says and hands you the shot, “but enough of Y/n’s weird dynamic with her mortal enemy, let’s have a good time since we aren’t here for a long time,” the eldest declares as she raises her shot glass for a cheer.

You all follow and down the entire shot, feeling the warm liquor cascade down your throat. You wince at the feeling but feel refreshed as you bite the lime. “Alrighty then, let's head on back so we can set up the stage?” Winter suggests, and you all agree, following one another to the back.

Once you guys finished setting up and were given the okay to go on stage, you stood on the right of Ningning, holding your cherry red bass in your hands. “What’s up, everyone!” Ningning says, the crowd already cheering at the sight of you five. “Well, we hope you guys are having a fantastic night, and we hope we can make it even better! So enjoy our first track, Lucid Dreams.”

You quickly came in on the intro, and to your surprise, many people in the club began singing along. Your smile grew wide as you chuckled, combing your hair back slightly to focus on the crowd. Without a care in the world, you strummed your bass as you got into the groove, your head lightly moving to the rhythm. 

Yujin watched from the far corner of the crowd, admittingly enjoying the view. She wasn’t going to admit it to your face, but you were beautiful, and the bass made you very attractive in her eyes. The way you focused on playing, not caring about all the eyes and people that drooled over you. It was a pleasant sight, almost reminding Yujin of your old self back in the day. Those thoughts took her by a wave of emotions, her slight smile slowly disappearing. 

She didn’t know where it all went wrong, but she did know that most of it was her fault. Yujin couldn’t blame you for the attitude that you always gave her. Did she hate you? She would've said yes if you asked her that ten years ago. Now, it was just something she got used to. After some time, Yujin couldn’t find the heart to ‘hate’ you any longer, but the constant fighting and bad-mouthing just became something that she was used to. Maybe she found comfort in it? She wasn’t too sure herself.

It’s why, when you got into college, she just decided to interact with you more through teasing and flirting. It felt as if she missed the person you once were or the friendship you once had, so to feel that old feeling, she resorted to this. Her thoughts get cut off by the sound of Spicy beginning to play.

Yujin’s eyes find your figure on stage again, and she sees you as the background vocals for the song as you sing lightly into your microphone. Your delicate-sounding voice and Ningning’s power made the song even more fun. The song called for sassiness and a lot of personality. Your playful facial expressions entertained Yujin as your eyes took a glimpse at the crowd. Your smile was addicting, causing Yujin to reciprocate it.

Was it possible to go back to the way it was?

That event was a month ago, a month of peace and quiet.  You, Ningning, and Giselle decided to spend the day at Karina and Winter’s apartment. Winter had to run small errands, Karina was fixing clothes in their room, and Giselle and Ning chose to watch some Netflix. You sit in the balcony area, the same notebook and pen in hand, scribbling a line and revising it to your liking.

Your eyes followed the pages of lyrics, and after a year of working on it, it finally felt completed up to your standards. Ning peeks her head out and finds you closing the thick book. “Finally finished the song?” she asks as she reveals the rest of her body. Yeah, I think I finally have,” you nod with a tinge of happiness filling your voice. “Take a look?” you ask, handing her the notebook with it open to the pages. “Drowning?”

“Yeah, it felt fitting, you know?” You say as Ning reads the book, looking like she’s immersing herself in the book. “Y/n! This is so good! What key are you envisioning the song being in?” She asks, continuing to read the lyrics. “I was thinking an A flat major like,” You then begin to hum the melody, and Ning smiles at it. “It sounds amazing, baby bear,” she squeals excitedly. 

“Guys! Come look?” Ning yells as she brings your book back into the apartment, and you follow. You see, Winter was just getting home with grocery bags in her hands while Giselle and Karina were now sitting on the couch. “She finally finished it?!” Giselle claps as she recognizes the book in Ningning’s hands. “Finally,” Karina says, smiling, knowing you’ve been working really hard on it. “Do you have the melody in mind?” Winter says tiredly as she plops her body down on their egg-looking chair.

“I do, but I still have to record the arrangement. I’ll send it to you this week, unnie?” You ask Karina, and she nods, “Well, I think I’ve found the perfect time for you to debut the song,” she says with a mischievous grin. “They actually responded?” Winter’s brows go high while the rest of us look evidently confused. “So wanna keep us in the loop, or are we invisible right now?” You asked.

“So last week I reached out to the Blackout, the venue that went viral on TikTok, and they replied that they wanted to hear our songs. It sounds pretty promising, so I’ll send them our tracks and tell them we have one we want to debut at their place.”

There was a pause, which felt like an eternity before the other four of you began jumping and cheering like excited little puppies. “I’ll literally work on it first thing in the morning and send it to you ASAP!” You collected your things and dashed out, making your way to your apartment. You dashed into the recording room that you set up and worked your magic.

…You basically stayed up all night to finish, but by eight in the morning, you sent the track with the vocal demo to Karina and were knocked out. 

Within the next week, you were finishing up your part-time job at the local cafe in your area and felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You take your time slot card out of the machine and head out, fishing your phone out. It was the band's group chat and Karina chatted.

MinMin Unnie🤓 FYI Blackout confirmed our schedule on Saturday night  Be there or be square

You chuckle at the ‘loser’ like comment in the end as you put on your headphones, listening to the proper recording of ‘Drowning’ on your phone. You and Ningning decided to record the vocals of the song last week, and it sounded perfect. It was the first time your voice was being used as a lead vocal in the song. It was a pretty nerve-wracking experience for you, but Ningning assured that you sounded great. So now you guys find yourself at Blackout, setting up ahead of opening time.

“This is actually happening?” You hear Ningning ask, almost as if she was spacing out as she unraveled the mic cord. “Yeah, Ning, come on now,” Giselle giggles at the girl as she shakes her head. “You think we’ll fill out the venue?” You ask as you sit on the edge of the stage with your bass in your lap. 

“You guys sure will,” You hear, and you turn to see the owner coming into the building with the social media manager. “Did you guys even check Blackout’s story?” The manager says, pointing to her phone. Karina gets her phone from her bag, tapping away and gasping once she sees something.

All of you looked at each other and rushed to her side to see what was so surprising. You see the long, messy line everyone was forming outside. “Are you kidding?!” Winter asks the two, and they nod, “Well, before anything even happens tonight, I’ll say congrats. You guys are gonna be a big hit.”

“Holy shit-” You voice, still staring at the story from Karina’s phone. “I know we’re all really excited, but it's time to get ready in the back guys.”

You all make your way to the back, doing hair, make-up, outfits, and warm-ups. Feeling pumped for tonight, you were just filled with excitement. Little did you know, Yujin’s bandmates informed her of your band’s performance, so they all decided to check it out. The line was horrendous, though, and the group felt bored despite nearing the front of the line.

“Did they actually get this many people to come watch them?” Chaewon asked, genuinely surprised at the fans you all garnered. “I didn’t know they were this well known,” their tall youngest asked. “Wony, I’m sure it's a mix of their fans, regulars, and tiktok fanatics that saw the venue,” Yena said as she saw so many people on their phones, watching the exact video that went viral.

After about forty-five minutes, the four girls make it into the venue. Yujin’s ears practically only heard the bass of the music, and it was so loud near the entrance. Her eyes scan the large building, the place already being halfway filled, in spite of the long line that was still outside.

She feels her hand being dragged deeper into the crowd, shimmying through the sea of bodies. They somehow made it through to the right end of the room to find the bar. The bartender was just being swarmed with people; the group just sat down and waited till everyone settled down.

“Can we get one old-fashioned, two mojitos, and one club soda, please?” Chaewon says, ordering for everyone. The three other girls settle beside her, and Wonyoung scrolls through her phone to see their promo set list for tonight. “Have you guys seen this? I think they're playing a new song tonight,” she flips her phone to the front, showing her unnies the question mark on the end of the setlist next to the number 10. “I guess we have to wait and see then,” as if on cue with Yujin’s words, you and your band step out onto the stage. Everyone in the venue is hyping you guys up, whistling, cheering, and even just flat-out roaring. Yujin and her girls couldn’t help but look at your guy's outfits, finding the slight hints of coordination pleasant. As Yujin’s eyes linger on your body, she almost has to do a double-take. She had never seen you look so… hot.

Yes, she admits you’re usually attractive, but fuck, did you look good. The tight body suit clung onto your upper half, showing so much skin. You practically glistened under the stage lights. Your set began, and these were all songs that the group had heard before. However, that didn’t stop the four girls from dancing hard with the rest of the crowd.

As you were on stage, the higher production of lights caused you to see less of the crowd, but you didn’t mind as it calmed the nerves for tonight. Due to your lack of vision, you focused on playing like no one was in the room. It actually felt freeing to play this way despite having one of your senses practically taken away from you. 

Yujin, not noticing how many songs had passed, was surprised when the group began speaking. She sees Ningning smiling at the crowd, her exhaustion evident due to the heavy breathing. “So~, how did you like our songs, guys?” Everyone cheered at Ning’s words, which caused you to smile. “It has been a great show, huh? But like all good things, they must come to an end,” Karina tells the crowd, everyone responding in sadness. “Okay, maybe a little too much. We’ll always have more shows to come,” You say while looking at Karina, who laughs at you, calling her ‘too much.’

“Well, you all must be wondering what this last song is?” Winter asks the crowd, and you hear small ‘yeahs’ from around the venue. “We’re actually debuting a new song tonight, and you guys get the first listen,” Karina says in a hushed manner as if it were the biggest secret in the world. You hear the buzzes of ‘oh’ and ‘ah,’ and you feel the butterflies in your stomach already emerging.

“So this song is actually composed and produced by my lovely best friend, Y/n, here,” Ning states, giving you a side hug as you give a small bow at the hyped-up crowd. “She’s actually the one singing our final song tonight.”

Ningning’s words rang heavily in Yujin’s ears. You were gonna sing? Tonight?

Only if she had a seat on hand, she would’ve been sat already. She watches you come up to the front and center of the stage, bass carried behind your back as you speak into the mic. “So for the for time, you guys are gonna get to hear me sing,” many of your fan girls respond with ear-piercing screeches.

You chuckle, leaning your head back slightly so it wouldn’t pick up on the mic so much. “Well… are you guys ready?” Everyone cheers again, and the lights dim down low. 

The silence killed people until they heard Winter’s guitar strumming a grungy yet slow and mellow sound. Then Giselle’s guitar comes in, layering the two sounds as the lights begin increasing a bit in brightness. The slight pause in the song counts you, Karina, and Ningning in, and people begin to hear your voice.

I was madly in love We argued so much You left first It's been raining all day here It quickly reached the tip of the chin I'm out of breath

Yujin listened to your velvety voice as it filled the entire venue. Everyone almost listened in silence, not only because it was a new song but also to cherish their first time hearing you. The lyrics interested the girl, and many thoughts flowed in her mind. ‘Who was this about?’ She thought. 

The pendulum of my heart holds me deeper and deeper

Ningning seeming sang the backup vocals, having everyone nod their head through the build-up of the song. 

Oh, I'm drowning It's raining all day, yeah-yeah (Yeah) I can't (Yeah) breathe, yeah Oh-oh, I'm drowning Oh, I'm drowning Oh, I'm drowning Oh, I'm drowning You're taking my life from me

Hearing the words, Yujin couldn’t help but think this was about her but in a love song. Feeling conceited even thinking about those words. Your emotions were overflowing, and everyone felt them while listening intently. You seemed to be expressing the hardships and burdens you felt in your heart.

As you sang the chorus, you kept your eyes shut, and the R&B sounds with hints of soul, no one in the crowd realizing that this was the voice you’d hidden from them. It was powerful; Yujin almost felt her skin crawl because of your voice. Your face somehow looked in pain, yet as the spotlights focused on you, Yujin couldn’t help but just stare. For the first time, Yujin saw you in your element.

It made her almost tear up; the way you sang tugged on her heart, and she felt as if she had to protect it by keeping her right hand on her chest. “You feeling okay?” Wonyoung asks, and the latter can only nod, just paying attention to you and only you.

After a few seconds, you seemed to get into the groove, as you looked much more relaxed on stage. You release the mic stand, and your hands find the strings of your bass easily without any hesitation. The realization settles into Yujin as she blanks while staring at you, just admiring every part of you.

…Is she starting to actually like you? 

“Im so fucked.”

Taglist: ⟪𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽⟫

@lorenztired @1luvkarina @yuyuy90

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Plastic hearts - (8)

<<<Prev Next>>>

---

It's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

It's a cruel summer

---

Your eyes fluttered open, it took you a while to recognize your surroundings. The school nurse came into your line of sight with relief on her face.

“Oh good, the IV has worked. She must have just been dehydrated.”, she stated.

The last thing you could remember was Ken running to you, his arms encasing around you to prevent your fall but as you rubbed your forehead, you were sure your low sugar levels had contributed to having a hallucination.

“But it also looks like a common occurrence. All the girls have complained they’ve lost sleep and in most cases, can’t dream.”, she went on to explain. You hummed in response, you haven't been able to sleep well too.

Hopefully it wasn’t another virus because you couldn’t afford to take days off. Melissa’s house needed to be maintained and renovations were expensive affairs. She had come to see you as her own daughter and therefore bequeathed everything she owned to you.

You weren’t worthy of her kindness, you were a nobody and yet she made a way to look out for you even in a time she would not be here. So you just had to live up and work hard to feel worthy of that love. Thinking about her made you feel sad but then in a way, it would make you feel better.

That in Barbie land, everyone was sheltered from the experiences that occur here. But as you fell back into the pillows, feeling a little frail, you also enjoyed the fact that you could feel these emotions completely. So your eyes began to tear up and you let them fall down your cheek.

“You need to take a break, dear.”, the nurse placed a loving hand on your shoulder.

But could you take a break?

After all the work you put into yourself and still not feeling quite whole, to think of yourself as an individual, you were still questioning your own value, even here.

“It’s sweet how your boyfriend stayed by your side even while managing the parents who wanted to meet him.”, she said as she discharged you.

“I don’t have a –

“Is she alright?”, you heard him as he stormed into the room with worry ingrained in his eyes.

“She is. Just needs a lot of rest and care. Which I assume you are going to see through?”, the nurse gave him a knowing smile as he nodded his head with a solemn resolve.

Your legs felt wobbly and needed support to walk around, you had taken care of yourself. And yet you weren't sure how you ended up in this situation. The nurse placed your hands in his and as he took it, he took up your bag to sling it over his shoulder, collected the medical papers and thanked the nurse. All of which you were truly tired to do.

You waited till you got to the corridor but until then you couldn’t help but look at him. It was uncanny, the resemblance, but he felt like a whole new person. He was secure, stable and mature in the way he held himself. You were sure this wasn’t the Ken you had known.

“Look, sir. I think you’ve got me mixed up with someone else.”, you came to a stop in the empty corridor.

“Your name tag says ‘Castilian Ryder’ and I don’t know anyone by that name.”, you narrowed your eyes at him, trying to validate the doubt you felt.

“I don’t like to use my first name here but it’s me, Brie.”, he said with a sense of unbelief.

Could you have really forgotten him?

“It’s Ken, from Barbie land.”, he stepped closer to you, to whisper.

He still smelled like the sea, even in a dingy school corridor in a metropolitan city that smelled like tarmac. You wanted to lean closer, to rest your head on his chest, to admit you were tired of running but maybe he was just this happy because his dream had come true. You had seen a newspaper clipping of him and Barbie, here in Los Angeles that many let it pass as a funny incident but you knew it was him. Maybe he was here, settled in life with his girlfriend and is just being nice because he had known you once.

Having experienced this world, you quickly learnt it was very difficult to trust men and their motives. They played sweet to turn out sour, their words sound like honey until you give in to their charms and then every single one of them that you’ve met so far finds a new way to let you down or betray you. All while finally stating that you weren’t enough.

You stepped away from him but his hold around you was firm, he held you up as the medication began to wear off.

“I can take care of myself from here. Why don’t you go back to where you came from?”, you peeled away his fingers from your waist, somehow even after all these years his touch burned your skin.

“And stop telling everyone you’re my boyfriend.”, you pointed a finger at him as you took the papers from his hand.

“Only someone who knew you well enough could sign the papers for your treatment. That’s why I lied.”, he replied and it stunned you.

He didn’t feel like he was from Barbie land, he held himself like a real person.

“So you can lie now?”, you scoffed and took your bag as you watched him furrow his brows in confusion.

“What?”, you snapped at him.

“I just thought at the very least, we would still be friends.”, he said but his eyes softened with sadness.

“Sorry, Ryder. You’ve just been lying to yourself.”, you turned away from him and it felt good to be mean. To have the power to hurt him. So you used it.

But it didn’t seem to stop him. He caught up to you.

“I need to get back to work and I also need you to leave me alone.”, you said without looking at him.

“The school’s closed, it’s 5pm and your staff were dismissed by this man called Sam.”, he narrated to you with his hands held behind his back.

You had missed the whole event?

Panic began to set in, this was not good, you pushed open the doors to only be proved right, the sun had set and no one was around. Except for a man leaning against the streetlight.

“You told me you could handle it.”, he spoke to you.

“You got me to trust you with this event and then, to get out of it, you act sick.”, Sam began his tantrum and you didn’t have the time for it.

“You didn’t tell me we had this event in the first place.”, you lashed out to which he pursed his lips.

“Excuses, excuses, excuses. That’s all you’ve been saying since Melissa passed.”, he flailed his arms about.

“I expect my staff to be put together. To not be tardy and all you’ve been doing is just that.”, he yelled.

“Somehow feeling the fatigue of being worked overtime is my fault?”, you argued to which he folded his arms and shook his head as though you’ve done a grave mistake.

“Maybe I need to cut back a few of your shifts.”, he tilted his head and you couldn’t push past that. This was his way of putting you in place because he had the power to do so.

“No, I’ll pull myself together.”, you said through gritted teeth which eased Sam.

“Good girl.”, he scoffed as though he was elated by the act of making you feel small.

“However, the school wants us to cater their lunch and maintain the cafeteria. I’m busy with handling the business side of things so you’re in charge of this venture.”, he said in a matter of fact tone.

You wanted to say no, that running the restaurant and the school order who be the death of you but he sensed it.

“And before you say no. Either take it up or you’re fired.”, he said it without feeling, with no empathy and there was nothing else you could do.

You agreed and he left, leaving you bear the weight of your decisions again. Maybe you should have just stayed in Barbie land, instead of thinking this place would be any different.

“What an idiot.”, Ken chuckled behind you.

“You still haven’t left?”, you turned to him with a scowl, not wanting to cry in front of him.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home.”, he said softly as he walked up to you, to take your bag and belongings.

You felt lighter and oddly consoled. To know that atleast one person could see through Sam’s cruelty.

“You have your own car?”, you smiled as you sniffled.

“Sure do.”, he winked as he held up his keys that where held together in a horse keychain.

His vehicle came into view and it wasn’t like what you had thought he would own. It was a regular sedan that had a few areas where the paint had worn off but the smile on his face as he unlocked it made you feel guilty. For having tried to hurt him before.

It looked like he had been here for a while, he put his phone up after entering your address into it. His taste in music was more nuanced and it amazed you that he even knew the lyrics well enough to sing to Taylor Swift’s songs. He was a whole new person, one you were only getting to know now.

You searched for signs, a ring on his finger, a picture in his wallet, the wallpaper on his phone, anything to confirm your thoughts on him having a life with Barbie. He couldn’t exist without her.

As he pulled up into the carpark, he snapped his fingers as though he finally had made a connection.

“All this while, we’ve been neighbors.”, he said with surprise.

He held up his phone to show you where his home marker was on the map and it was astonishing. He was in the apartment block next to you. For a brief second, his eyes caught yours and you could sense he had more to say or that he wanted to.

“Brie.”, he began with a serious tone and in the vacuum of his car it felt as though he was about to say that the world was about to end. But he sighed to remove his keys to then say,

“So you have your own dream house?”, he smiled and that brief moment was lost.

“I do.”, you said.

“but its not dreamy.”, you gave him a tired smile.

“Is it girl’s night, every night?”, he asked quietly, his eyes finding yours even in the dark and the only revelation from this was that you couldn’t erase him from your memories. Even after all this time, that connection you felt with him didn’t fade.

You shook your head to his question, it was hard making friends outside of work.

“I’m sorry.”, he said. His hands now gripping the steering wheel, he looked away.

“For hurting you. I didn’t know what I was doing before but I never wanted to hurt you.”, he continued and you could feel your heart in your throat.

“You don’t have to be nice to me, but I know how it feels.”, he said with a sad smile and distant eyes.

“It feels good to finally be able to inflict the same pain you felt.”, he reminisced to when he took over Barbie’s dream house.

But seeing you here, knowing the reason behind why you left, he lacked the courage to tell you the truth behind why he was here. Looking into your dark eyes even for a second reminded him of what he had done. It was unfair, to just come in, to state his business and in the desperation of clearing his name, to take you back. It had to be your choice, he was only the messenger. What you choose to do, was up to you.

“So if you don’t want me around. I understand.”, he said finally, and embraced the uncertainty. Saving Barbie land was important but then so were you.

You didn’t know what to say, in all your time here, no one had given you a choice. You were at a loss for words because this wasn’t what you had expected, for him to not attach himself into your life.

“Thank you for saying that, Ken.”, you felt the anxiety wash away as you pushed back your hair. To say his name after so long, felt good, felt like home.

“I just need a little time.”, you replied sinking into the seat.

“To process all of this.”, you caught his gaze as he nodded sweetly.

The blue of his eyes still held that glimmer, his smile, still perfect that it made you jealous even in a world that was imperfect and harsh, he wasn’t touched by it. And as you stayed in that second, forgiving him was easy. Because his actions were never done with the intent to be malicious. It still however didn't change you fate though.

He wasn’t yours, but you wished for it nonetheless.

---

Let me know if the tags are working!

Tags:

@imogen-skye @ateliefloresdaprimavera @meowkid1000 @jokersgrf @linacool13 @oh-kurva @dreamsarenicer @memospacexx @haleysucks00 @ibetyouthinkaboutmefics @tempobaekh @fallingwallsh @whatafreakingloser @lcversrockk @imonmyvigilanteshh @constellationscharts @eddiemunson4ever @freyafriggafrey @neptunelixir @iamruiningmylife @floralsightings @ynbutbetter @lazyboikat @mrharringtonsbae @spookyscellar @harleyquinn03 @haydensith @thatgirljas13 @weasleytwinscumslut @bl00dy-murd3r @itstylersblog @papichulo120627 @lee-lee-23 @dazeglitter-blog @urmom24sworld @chaos-in-person @aremos @theoriginalwife000 @undercover-being-whack @puredreamagination @h-l-vlovesvintage @krazyk99

[miifu666]

Hi hope you’re doing ok and drinking plenty of water !! I was wondering what do you think Macaque would be like if he was in black myth wukong ? (Also not me low-key wondering what would happen if suklha met the man who pretended to be wukong ) 😏

Heyy helloo ♡♡♡ 🥺

Im not glad to say ive been deep in my tea addiction ngl, thanks for reminding me 🥲.

Ooooh i haven't thought about it yet! Although ive seen how Black Myth uses JTTW as sort of a prequel for the game, since Destined one is their own original character. Regardless, everything is a bit similar to the JTTW story!

I've been wondering how the fight would be like if Destined one had to confront Macaque again. Considering, Macaque is supposed to be the shadow of Sun Wukong. Two minds alike. Fighting his own demons even as he's reincarnated would be fun to think about.

Also the look of Macaque being so similar to Destined one, besides the six ears ofc. While his fighting style being similar to Rellana from elden ring 🥲🥲 argh maybe im too imaginative.

Macaque being in the storyline to trick Bajie again because ?? Why not. If he had the intent to steal the buddhism from Wukong, who's to say he won't steal all the relic himself?? And tricking the pig is so fun and easy.

Destined one being a silent monkey while Macaque is talking and trying every ounce of his charismatic self to anger him. He's not used to THE Sun Wukong being so... mute.

Okay thats all for now 😭 im braindead fr fr.

Suklha Meeting Macaque

it'll be pretty interesting, considering one is a monkey who perfected the spell of impersonation, while the other is a god known to have countless of faceless forms.

During the first sight, Suklha won't notice its not Wukong. Her antennas are sensitive, she only noticed a few wrongdoings of the "Wukong" yet she brushed it aside as her paranoia. Continuing to treat "Wukong" as she usually would.

Then the more she watched how distant this "Wukong" is compared to before, she starts to doubt him. Probably finding any faults that she can and pointing it at him, cornering the supposed "Wukong". Again. This made her seem like a crazy demon, untrusting and planning to manipulate the pilgrims. Making her an outcast.

Unfortunately, Suklha isn't the type to reprimand someone after they've shown disinterest towards her advice countless of times. So she just leave them be with a few parting words, and glaring at "Wukong" she can't blame them all ofc, but being outcasted is pretty hurtful.

Next time she saw Macaque again without his spell, she'd probably clap at his ability. To fool even the pilgrims, monks and an ex general bajie is such a defeat. Heck even the headache sutra is fooled. Thats pretty impressive.

Might actually be a teasing moment for Suklha to mock Wukong for. "What? Going to let that macaque be a better transfigurator than you?" Just to see Wukong puff out and stomp away. Overall, it'll be an interesting but annoying experience for Suklha, ngl she'll feel threatened to see someone so good at personifying others but nonetheless knowledge is power isnt it?

I dont have Suklha reaction to meeting the Black Myth! Macaque yet currently :( but i have a doodle of LMK! Macaque

I haven't reached far enough in the LMK to understand how the fanarts drew him with white fur yet 😭 i got the doodle inspiration from my dad, who prefers Hanoman more than Wukong (we're fighting rn, in a BOXING RING)

[biggie-chcese]

ranking rain code lets plays on how much i enjoy/would recommend them

hi did you know i am incredibly autistic about this game and have watched, in full, several lets plays of it? and im still going? haha yeah im normal. anyway here goes... all lets plays ive watched from best to worst:

#1 Highest recommendation: JustOneGamr. ESPECIALLY for people who are going in blind. im so serious. it's the best way to experience as much of the game as possible without playing it yourself. They go through all of the content, side quests, gumshoe gabs, profiles, DLC, and even most of the flavor text. it's also a no commentary run, which i personally see as a massive boon because they aren't influencing your opinions of the game

#2: Pixel Partners. they've got real good vibes and they actually do the side quests. it's also fun to listen to their theories and see their reactions. they're one of the few who dont spend their time complaining and give more valid constructive criticisms than others. they also have the funniest reaction to the chapter 5 reveal

#3: JohnAwesome. his humor sometimes isn't particularly for me but boy is his lets play enjoyable. also has lots of positive vibes and is generally pretty entertaining. i dont remember if he does side quests but im pretty sure he does. he will easily make chapter 4 even more gut wrenching thanks to a very specific kind of incompetence on his part, which in hindsight is really funny

#4: NyanCave. they're pretty fun and also have great vibes! i like their chemistry a lot. they have some pretty good theories and good jokes, but they will spend a lot of time on responding to chat donations. this is fine like get that bag kings but if you're impatient like me it might get annoying after a while lol. it's especially bad in chapter 5, where the tension dies because of their waifu fight donations

#5: NicoB. I was never really a NicoB fan because he's a bit too loud and high energy for me, but his rain code lets play is still pretty good! he seems to have fun playing the game and even has a few good jokes. i think he does the side quests which is a plus but i could be misremembering. i still quote "and now back to yuma crackhead" to this day so there's that

#6: Faz Faz. This another no commentary run but for people who are in a rush. they go through the game as quickly as possible. frankly, i think these kinds of lets plays are not as good as the ones that go through the sidequests, but hey, it's there if you just want the main plot and gumshoe gabs

#7: Save Data. I don't recommend this one to people experiencing rain code for the first time because they will talk over the cutscenes and dialogue and that will get annoying. they also complain quite a bit about the same things over and over which can also get tiresome (im sorry guys i do Not care about graphics as much as you do). however, they're really funny and it's good for a second or third experience of the game. "this city..." is a highly prevalent vocal stim for me thanks to them. they will shit on on the game often though, so if you really love rain code and dont want to hear that, then avoid this one lol. but you do get to see my art at the end of their vids! that's pretty cool!

#8: Rat Attack. i straight up don't recommend this one. it's easily the worst one i've seen and that's sad because i really love their pngtuber avatars. they're not finished with the game yet and that's probably because they spend so much time ranting and yapping about everything else, or just concocting the most baffling theories known to man and spending wayyy too much time on them. you will also hear a lot of unfunny halara gender jokes sorry. sometimes they are funny in other ways but it's honestly not worth it unless you're like me and keep watching out of obsession for the game.

that's all the ones ive watched in full (so far)! here's a couple others i haven't seen in full but have seen small parts of:

Weeby Newz - she's got some fun reactions from what ive seen and is pretty funny too. i have only really watched her play chapters 4 and 5 though, so i cant give a full opinion. i dont care for yakou fathero as a concept though and she seems pretty heavy on that, but if you like that you may enjoy her let's play. i may go back and finish it soon!

CurtStreamy - genuinely very funny from what ive seen though in chapter 5 his whole crew has a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of makoto's character, which can be a little irritating. either way, most of it is great but his live chat sucks. i still need to watch the rest in full to form a full opinion

CrystAAHHL - ohhh she did Not like this game lmao. she is a based makoto enjoyer though. i only watched the highlight reel though i think watching her full streams would just make me tired. i personally dont like watching lets plays if the person playing isnt having any fun

JazzyGuns - unfinished but she is really funny and has good vibes. if you can cope with her probably never finishing the game then go for it

khee chu - im still in the process of watching this one in full but it's fun so far. i will say CHECK OUT KHEE'S MERCH AND SHINIGAMI X JUNKO ART!!! THE ART IS RLY CUTE!!!!

and that's everything! there's other lesser known ones out there but im just one guy i cant watch em all despite how determined i am to do so </3 above all else i want people to get the game but like, yknow, some folks dont got $60 to spend on a game lol. anyway have fun and happy watching!

[thedisablednaturalist]

Only a few hours ago I had to put my cat Clover to sleep. I took her into the vet after she wasn't able to stand thinking it was just her hyperthyroidism and she would be back to normal after some meds. Turns out her organs were failing. She was ready to go, fiesty even in her last moments. She was 16 years old so I thought I still had some time left since most cats I've known lived to 19

Clover has been with me over half my life. She was such a special cat, more than just a pet to me. When I was little I was terrified of the dark and would stay up all night reading with the lights on. I would then sleep during the day or whenever I ended up passing out. I struggled a lot with mental illness even as a kid. But then Clover came. I could finally sleep with the light off, knowing she was standing guard against anything that might want to hurt me. Yea she was a 1 lb kitten, but my dad told me that cats keep bad spirits away and her being there was enough for me. I guess it was also calming because if she was calm, that meant that there wasn't actually any danger.

In highschool, after I self harmed, she would sit by me as I cried and lick my scars. She kept me from killing myself. She was my whole world, everyone who knows me knows how obsessed I was with her (and her new brother Boo). Whenever I was away from her I was missing her and the first thing I did when getting home was look for her.

She had so much personality, of course since she was a tabby. She would act all aloof around other people but once we were alone in my room she would start loudly purring and licking my face. She would bat at my pencils while I did homework and always scrunched up her nose while she played. When we first introduced her to the family dogs they all lined up one by one to sniff her and when one would come up she would bop them on the nose, one after another. Just imagine this tiny tabby kitten bopping dogs 20x her size on the nose. She was the queen the moment she arrived.

We grew apart when I went to college since I wasn't home as much, and it's something I still feel guilty about. Ive since graduated and worked super hard to get my first apartment that allows pets. For the past few months shes been staying with me, my boyfriend, and her brother. She had been getting super stressed at home since the current dogs kept chasing her. At our apartment she was relaxed and strongly bonded with my boyfriend (I think she liked him more than me). These past few months have been amazing, her coat got softer and she was more energetic. She was so affectionate and spent her days watching us from her cat tree, looking out the window at the people walking by, sleeping on my recliner, and taking her job as bathroom supervisor very seriously.

I thought we would've had more time, at least a year. But this past week she started yowling and then rapidly declined until she could no longer stand. I keep kicking myself for not taking her in sooner, but we had already been under financial strain from taking her brother in for his own medical issues. She had hyperthyroidism and I was told the yowling was normal, and she stopped meowing so I thought that meant she was feeling better. But after visiting my parents we came home to her unable to even lift her head. I guess I was still in denial until the vet mentioned euthanasia, and after she started getting agitated and breathing hard we made the decision. I've never been there when a pet was put down before. I've seen dead animals of course, but never...the process. She was such a little fighter, she was telling us it was her time. She made the decision for me.

I can't sleep, I miss her so much. I keep looking at photos and wanting to be in them with her. I don't know what Im going to do. She was my everything. I wish I could've gone with her. But I have people who need me here. I hope she isn't scared or alone, wherever she is. It was all so sudden. Last week she was still her silly self. I keep thinking about all the things she won't be there for. I look at the cat tree and expect her to be there, watching me, but she's not. I don't want to go through the rest of my journey without her.

I might turn @booclover into a memorial page for her, keep her memory alive. I also want to get a tattoo of a four leaf clover on my shoulder, since she loved sitting on it (or being slung over it when she got bigger)

Ill never forget you, thank you for sharing your life with me

RIP Clover 2007-2024

[silly-salty-utdr-rants]

an unnecessarily in depth analysis of my take on underfell papyrus

before we begin: let it be known that none of this is properly confirmed or canon, this is all based on the version of underfell that almost solely exists in my brain. also the quality of grammar, spelling, and translation of brainrot to coherent essay is not guaranteed. also uf!papyrus belongs to underfella

to start lets look at the very basics, what would it take to turn papyrus, the only person to believe even the worst of the worst can improve, the causation (however indirectly) of the true pacifist route, the only monster that will never kill frisk, the sole creature in the entire world of undertale to be dubbed the sadistic fuckface flower's favourite, that the world is kill or be killed? allow me to spin you the tale of how i think it happened.

maybe once upon a time when uf!papyrus was just a kid, he wanted to be a hero. he wanted to be a pacifist in a kill or be killed world. maybe, even unintentionally, he constantly put both him and his older brother in danger. and one day, he tried to spare the wrong people, so both he and his brother were scarred in the process causing a crack over the eye for papyrus and a lost tooth for sans. and on this fateful day papyrus was faced with the choice, kill the attackers and survive or spare them and be killed. and maybe since he's still alive as an adult, he chose to kill, thereby gaining his first LV.

at least thats what i think happened. this traumatic event would cause a number of changes in his life, including, ditching his former obsession with "being a hero" in favor of being a villain, on several occasions being peer pressured to murder, and being more harsh to sans.

BUT. as i have said before and will say again, papyrus' soul is almost definitely bravery and integrity so his preference for pacifism isnt going down without a fight! maybe his whole "kidnapping and torture chamber" schtick is an excuse to not have to kill someone while not being seen as weak. maybe he lies about how many people he's killed or how much LV he has when in reality both numbers are shockingly low. maybe he wants to be captain of the guard so he can delegate the killing to others. maybe he hates asgore because its because of him that their world is like this. maybe he never kills the human. one thing i've never understood is whether or not he kills or spares the human or if he does the whole "OOP YOU'RE AT ONE HP! TIME TO GO TO THE CAPTURE ZONE!" thing. i like to think that he does. hell ive already done a whole damn drawing on what i think it would look like.

⬇️

so yeah. he spares frisk. and maybe adopts them

one last aspect of this guy that intrigues me before i go! what is underfell papyrus' dynamic with flowey? maybe he respects flowey a ton. maybe papyrus is envious of flowey's courage to run away from fights and defuse them instead of hurting the opponent. maybe they're the only one that the other truly opens up to.

but these are only my thoughts on the dude because frankly, there arent enough character analysis about uf!paps. feel free to add your own! or not! i dont care!

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

HI QUEEN!!!! thoughts on the vision morgause showed to arthur and her motivations/was she lying/ should Arthur have killed uther?

AHHHHHH IVE BEEN WANTED TO BE ASKED THIS AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

alright so i think the first thing that needs to be considered is what her intentions were when she showed him the vision. i think the main consensus is that she wanted Arthur to kill Uther, and while i agree, i think Morgause deserves a few more layers than that. i genuinely think Morgause wanted the truth to be known.

imo, from what we've seen, Morgause is extremely similar to Morgana. in the early seasons, Morgana is justice with kindness. Morgause is justice without. Later, we watch Morgause slowly "corrupt" Morgana and watch her lose her kindness, turning her into the heartless villain she is by season five.

i think Morgause, while not out of the deep goodness of her heart, saw the injustice, and wanted it to be corrected. this manifested mostly in the form of Uther's death, but i do believe a small part of her just wanted the truth to be known :)

whether or not she was lying is something we will never truly know, but she could have been lying about two different things, and i want to attack them separately.

i 100% believe she wasn't lying about Uther using magic for Arthur's birth. i've wondered A LOT how the fuck she knew though, because sorry, who told her?? and merlin is the show it is, so it doesn't tell you these things, but there are enough breadcrumbs left behind so that we can assume she was a pupil of Nimueh's and learned of it from her.

but whether it was actually a vision of Ygraine? i really don't know. i'm not going to lie, the first time i saw the scene, it gave me all the wrong vibes. the ghost of Ygraine is able to meet her son for >5 minutes and one of the maybe two things she says to him is about how Uther used magic to birth Arthur and it killed her?? i don't know. it's strange.

but we also have to remember that we actually don't know anything about Ygraine! honestly, the fandom and fics tend to mention her x10 more than the actual show does. Arthur hardly speaks of her, as well as Uther, and we have to remember that this is the man who essentially killed his wife and is forced to live with that every goddamn day and is 100% romanticizing the woman she was—and then all Arthur has ever heard of her is this romanticized version from his father, and this is the dead mother he's never met. he's going to do some embellishing of her own.

so, for all we know, Ygraine was a terrible person. we really don't know. so i have no conclusive answer to whether or not Morgause was lying about it being a vision, and i think the show actually intended it that way. because that doesn't actually matter. what Ygraine said—that's the truth. the cold, honest truth. whether it actually came from his mother or from a false mimicry of her doesn't actually matter.

another thing i find really interesting is that while Morgause was obviously trying to provoke Arthur with this information and was clearly manipulating him, she really didn't take any extreme steps to ensure he killed Uther. this was also her first step to bring down Uther. it's almost like she tried to find the most moral option she could that dealt the fairest form of justice, and only when it failed was she forced to resort to more gruesome, hands-on approaches.

it also really doesn't seem like she has anything against Arthur in the beginning, which is so fascinating to me, but moving on lol.

now for the BIG one:

should Arthur have killed Uther in The Sins of the Father?

god, this one is hard, because you have to consider it from all angles.

from an objective, justice-based standpoint, you could say that Morgause was absolutely in the right in all of this, and that after learning this information, it was Arthur's duty to kill his father. his father killed his own wife due to his desperation for an heir, and then spent half a lifetime destroying an entire culture and group of people in an attempt to stem his guilt.

so, yes. Arthur should have killed his father, if we're viewing this from the eyes of pure justice.

but for Arthur's own conscious? from a political standpoint? absolutely the fuck not. it would have destroyed Arthur. even when Uther died season four, he was a wreck, so imagine if it has been Arthur. dear god.

and then imagine being an average citizen of Camelot, for whom Uther was probably an alright to not great king, but no one who deserves death, and learning that your beloved Prince Arthur committed patricide and his now king? jesus. that's not how you establish good subject-monarch relations.

and if enemy kingdoms heard about it? god, all the knights must be horribly divided, because most of them swore themselves to Camelot and its royalty, but who the hell do you stand with when your two royals tried to kill each other and one of them was successful? enemy kingdoms would attack, and with their armies as divided as they'd be, who knows how that'd go.

so overall, no. i genuinely believe Arthur shouldn't have killed his father. but that doesn't mean that Uther didn't deserve death.

anyways, i think that's all! this was a lot of fun, and tysm for the ask once again <3

[da-rulah]

Okay ghesties, please help me choose my next AU...

As some of you will know, I'm working on a Mary Goore AU that got away from me recently. It was meant to be two parts max, and right now, it's becoming longer than I thought...

BUT

I can't choose between two AU ideas I'm desperate to write after this one, so I need you guys to pick for me.

Below are the summaries for each of my ideas, with some warnings about the content in them. Both of them will be multiple chapters in length, longer than anything I've written to date. Read them carefully, and choose your favourite. Whichever wins, is the one I'll write first...

Folié a Deux – Cardinal Copia x OC Female Character (1st Person POVs) 

Rating: Extremely dark and explicit fiction, laced with trigger warnings incl. but not limited to: sex trafficking, sexual assault, coercion. 

The Ministry has many fingers in many pies... ‘The Ghost Project’ is simply not the only endeavour they focus on. Between fundraisers for the poor, advocating for minorities, vigilante justice and even legal representation, the Ministry is a busy and international organisation. 

One such project – The Rush Hour project – was new. A project that focussed on known sex trafficking rings, discovered on the dark web and through underground contacts. The aim was to infiltrate and free their captives, give them new lives and begin to heal the trauma forced upon them. 

On one particular night, Cardinal Copia is entrusted with infiltrating an auction, buying a woman the Italian mob is hoping to sell on. Except, he falls short... Too lost in the hauntingly empty eyes of the beauty before him, he is unable to focus, and thus, he loses his chance. 

But he had to have her. She will be his. 

By any means necessary. 

Can You Hear the Thunder? – Papa Emeritus IV (Copia) x OC Female Character (1st Person POVs) 

Rating: Explicit with horror elements incl. but not limited to: torture, violence, paranormal entities, religious trauma. (This is my own personal idea of how the lore could continue while we wait for any new updates...)

Papa Emeritus IV is plagued by dreams of a time long forgot, before his papacy; before any part of his Ministerial career. They are incoherent, patchy and make little sense to him. Still, he continues his work under the guidance of Sister Imperator, Mr. Sultarian and the Clergy.  

Now home from another highly successful world tour with The Ghost Project, Papa finds himself having his dreams more frequently. Night after night, they grow longer, fragments of memories flickering through his mind like a child’s flipbook until one night, the thunder comes... 

And then they find her, laying on the steps of the Ministry amongst the worst storm California had seen in a decade. 

A woman with nothing about her person except the ragged nightgown soaked and tattered in the storm, and a strange and deliberate carving on her back. 

[twistedastrology]

♋cancers and rage♋

-------------------------------------------------

i just did a workout because i had way too much energy today and now im exhausted so im gonna talk abt sumn im very passionate abt while i sit on the floor and recover 😮‍💨

- 🌙 -

a pretty big observation ive made since ive been into astrology and more specifically since ive been basically reinventing it in my head is that cancers, especially cancer risings/cancer mars, have a VERY misunderstood relationship with anger.

most people ive seen have said something along the lines of cancers are crybabies and they tend to cry when they're angry or just skip anger altogether and go to the depression side of things

personally, im a cancer rising with mars conjunct my ascendant (and ofc saturn in my 1st 💞💞) and i have NEVER found this to be the case, and other cancer risings i know don't follow those stereotypes either

- ♈ -

in my experience, imagine a combination of aries energy and capricorn energy, THAT'S what cancers embody when it comes to emotion, especially rage.

i've written an entire newsletter on this and made a whole instagram post for it over at @bluedashercrafts (they're not on tumblr yet but the link takes u to their instagram!!) so i have indeed thought very in depth about this 😮‍💨

cancers can blow up like aries, but they can hold a grudge like capricorn- and if you're me and you have saturn in your 1st (in fixed fire btw 😮‍💨), you'll lean more towards the capricorn side of things in any emotion.

i personally have a massive tendency to bottle up the pain (andrageandfearthatifeeltHEPAINANDR-) until im in a safe environment to get it out (aka being alone with my earbuds in and music blasting) OR until i can't hold it in anymore and the steam gets so high pressured that it blows the lid off the fucking pot- that's when i gotta run away and isolate myself and do a workout ASAP otherwise i will likely hurt myself because there's just So Much Energy

- ♑ -

i wanna bring a couple other examples to the table so you get a better idea of what im talkin abt here-

if you're a korn enjoyer like me, you'll know the My Gift To You - Woodstock '99 performance. well the first time i saw that and it got to the "I HATE YOU- CAN'T YOU FEEL TEH PAAIN-" part, my fucking jaw dropped and i almost cried because i could not believe that i was seeing someone else exhibit the same like- Pure Unbridled Rage that i experience all the time- the kind of visceral emotion that literally makes you flail around on stage and then bang the microphone against it like 3+ times because you're trying to come back to reality like jonathan davis was-

THAT is the level I'm talking about- that is the level that is very specific to cancer placements, specifically cancer risings and cancer mars (and his mars is in a cancer degree of scorpio, so there you go)

another more well-known example would be Markiplier! if you've seen his rage game playthroughs, you'll know he throws chairs and mouses and just generally gets pissed to an ungodly extent- he's a cancer rising with his venus and sun in cancer and his mars in leo.

- 🌓 -

cancers are NOT the signs that break down crying when they experience anger, they are the ones that feel their blood boil more than aries does.

for another good example, my best friend has his mars and venus both in aries, but he's another cancer rising- whenever he gets angry, he gets VERY angry, but he doesn't have the saturn influence that i do, so his anger is much more aries-like (short fuse, louder about it and it doesn't last as long- his is more like the classic interpretation of anger issues), whereas mine is MUCH more capricorn-like (LONG fuse, WAY quieter about it but god forbid it gets loud, and it Can last a very long time)

- 🪐 -

now you might wanna ask me "why the hell do you keep saying aries and capricorn specifically", well i just explained that im not gonna lie BUT-

cancers are very aries-like because they're the CARDINAL water sign, and cardinal signs are basically just fire-coded whatever element they are- (aries is double fire, capricorn is fire-coded earth, libra is fire-coded air, and cancer is fire-coded water)

and with aries being the fire-coded fire sign, it's essentially capricorn is aries-coded earth- THAT'S why cancers can be VERY similar to aries.

as for capricorn, cancers are the sister sign to capricorn, so they'll share similar traits despite being on opposite sides of the wheel. PLUS, where fire burns itself out very quickly, water doesn't really dry out very quickly especially if there's a lot of it.

- 🌑 -

this is really just part 1 when it comes to my reinvention of cancers- ill cover their relationship with sex as opposed to scorpios in another post because i really wanna delve more into that BUT!!!

if you want more of a well-put-together post on this, go check out the ig post and newsletter i did for blue dasher crafts!!! i also dived a little more into my personal experience with the anger and catharsis i go thru being a cancer rising/mars so!!

[quietwingsinthesky]

Unpopular opinion rory is a fantastic companion and it's a massive shame he's constantly overlooked by both the show and fans

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

YEAHHHH. they don't get him they don't appreciate him. TWO THOUSAND YEARS!!!!! AND PEOPLE WILL SAY HE DIDN'T REALLY LOVE AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like. 'rory wants to settle down and this is Bad because amy wants to keep traveling with the doctor' hi 1) objectively traveling with the doctor, while fun and fantastical, is also like!!!! fucking terrifying and dangerous!!!!! rory has died!!!! multiple times!!!!!!!!! no shit he wants himself and his wife to maybe take a few steps back sometimes. but like 2) people always point to amy's choice about this, how the village life thing is the Rory Side, and like. that was what, episode 7? of s5? is it possible that maybe that whole dreamscape thing was representative of his set in stone desires forever and ever?

it just drives me a little crazy. i've seen people say that rory is trying to suck the life out of amy, that he wants her to be his housewife or whatever, and it's just. that's never true? he wants them to be safe, he at first wants them to have a "normal" life, and then later, to find a way to balance their life with their friends and family and home and their life with the doctor. which is! he's allowed to want that!

like. like. god okay i hate "divorce arc" but can we talk about divorce arc for a moment because it's relevant.

RORY: It's arithmetic. It'll take longer with me because we both know, we've always known, that. Amy, the basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me, which today is good news because it might just save both of our lives. AMY: How can you say that? RORY: Two thousand years, waiting for you outside a box. Don't say it isn't true, you know it's true. Give me your arm. Amy! AMY: Don't you dare say that to me. Don't you ever dare. RORY: Amy, you kicked me out. AMY: You want kids. You have always wanted kids. Ever since you were a kid. And I can't have them. RORY: I know. AMY: Whatever they did to me at Demons Run, I can't ever give you children. I didn't kick you out. I gave you up. RORY: Amy, I don't AMY: Don't you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box, because that is nothing, Rory, nothing, compared to giving you up.

this is it, right? this is it, bare essentials. 1) that rory believes he loves amy more than she loves him and he is going to die for her here because that's still true, because that doesn't stop being true whether he thinks she might want the doctor over him in s5 and it doesn't stop being true once she's pushed him away here. and 2) that whatever that dreamscape thing was, rory does not Need amy to have children for him. that's her insecurity, that's her fear, that's her expectation that she's placed on herself and that's she's been driving him away with because she's fucking traumatized by what was done to her body at demon's run. but rory doesn't need that of her and hell, probably wouldn't want her to go through that again even if she was physically capable of giving birth because clearly it is an idea that fucks her up!

and he cares. he cares so so much. they dont even get it he loves her so so so much. he doesn't love some housewife ideal of amy he's built up in his head like some people seem to think, some version of her that he'd be able to tame and change. he loves amy. as she is, exactly as she is.

people don't appreciate rory williams enough.

and like ive mostly talked about him and amy here which of course, foundational, but his dynamic with the doctor is great too. like. the speech in vampires of venice is a classic for a reason, rory sees through his shit and it scares him. but like. his relationship with the doctor is also a compromise and an understanding, you know? the doctor isn't just the third part of the amy/rory marriage because he's just literally Also There, he's a third part of their marriage because he's an active participant in negotiating this relationship. in the fact that rory has to learn to trust the doctor, and the doctor has to learn to reel himself back in a little for amy's safety (and rory's, but like. let's be real. rory thinks of amy's safety first, too.)