#i've honestly been a bit scared but trying to stay positive!!

[retquits]

cw health talk / (；′⌒`) 💦

long story short; i'm on day 6 of not being able to breathe properly. i started with some lung issues (bronchi), and now have some throat issues as well (feels partially closed/swollen?)

i posted this to twt as well - i'm sorry to bring something personal up, i know it'll probably be fine, but in case of emergency, i don't want to just disappear for a while without warning ( ≧ ﹏ ≦)

[maple-the-awesome]

Twilight's Calling ||

Pairing: Twilight x GN! Reader

Words: 2,544

Requested by anonymous: Heeey. First of I love your writing style! It’s just amazing! Cause twilight is my fav. could you maybe write something like xreader with him, for example they’re in a battle or smth? Only if it’s okay ofc! Thanks a lot and have a good day and week! best wishes :) Twilight may or may not be my favorite Link, too (TP was the first game I finished, so I'm a little bias, okay?). I've had this draft lying around unfinished for awhile, so I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to finish it. Here you go, hun 💜

Zelda Masterlist 🤎Fandom Masterlist

It's getting pretty late. 'Late' as in the sun has long set and the last time you saw any of the boys was about an hour ago when Time finally managed to herd the remaining stragglers out of the room, although he was being a bit hypocritical seeing as he still lingered in the doorway for a good minute himself afterwards (not that you dared comment on it).

Since their heavy footsteps had faded into silence - and aside from the innkeeper sometimes shuffling down the hall or a sudden 'pop' of the bedside candle - you've been left entirely alone with your thoughts as they dance on the very edge of sleep, but you refuse to lose balance. It's your shift. You promised to be a good lookout and it took a lot of convincing to even get the position, so you can't disappoint no matter how heavy the weight upon your eyelids or heart is.

You've always been well aware of the risks that would come with this mission and from traveling alongside nine heroes of legend; troublesome young men and boys who can definitely handle themselves in battle, however none immune to making possible mistakes. You expected one to occur at some point, yet never wanted the aftermath to be anything too serious.

Wild getting a decent scar on his forehead was a scare when it initially happened, but he was back on his feet within the hour - less than that actually, because if you remember correctly, his quick recovery had been controversial and resulted in quite a bit of bickering. The bottom line is that Wild bounced back with little to no trouble thanks in part to his thick skull. This is different. Twilight has yet to follow his protege's example and it's been hours.

You must admit you underestimated the situation at first due to a lack of context. It's not to say you didn't care about Wolfie when he got struck, however there's a notable difference between a wild 'pet' that occasionally trails your group and the very man you've grown to secretly admire over the months you've spent traveling together. If you had known then that they are one of the same, you would've likely shared a similar level of panic as the Champion, but instead you were left in the dark until Four finally explained Twilight's secret to you.

Even at that moment, although more worried, you figured everything would be okay. Wolfie or Twilight, a fairy should be able to do the trick to heal the worst of injuries, so one can imagine your heartbreak once learning that, for some odd reason, the state of his wounds haven't changed even under a fairy's sacred touch. That's when you truly became fearful, but you refused to show it outwardly - no more than whatever made itself present on your face, anyway.

Making a fuss won't aid Twilight's condition nor will it calm the concerns of your friends, so instead you had mostly stayed out of the way until Time announced everyone should get some rest. At that point, you made your presence known, quick to shoot your hand into the air while volunteering to take the first shift for watching over Twilight. Champion was the only one to fight you for it and honestly, you still aren't certain how you won the argument, but here you are, sitting quietly at Twilight's bedside while trying desperately to keep yourself from descending into madness as you fret over his well-being.

He's doing somewhat better after Hyrule's magic managed to stop most of the bleeding, however his wound remains deep without any further healing progress and his skin is drained into a pale, sickly color clear even through the dim glow of candle light. He looks like shit and you'd guess he feels like it, too, seeing as his face curls into a pained expression every now and again, a whispered groan leaving him whenever he slightly shifts his body (not that he moves that much).

It's gotten a bit chilly tonight, however all blankets in the room have been laid over him and you refuse to swoop as low as to steal comfort from a dying man, so you simply keep huddled to yourself, half praying the next shift will come sooner and half praying it won't because a stubbornness inside you is somehow convinced that the simple act of you being here will keep himsafe from death's hands.

You don't pay much attention to the quiet groan that comes from the bed, having already bitterly accepted that there's nothing that can ease whatever pain haunts Twilight during his nightmares, although you do lift your head when a hand shakes its way into view, barely able to carry itself to the edge of the covers where it collapses with a broken echo from its owner, "W...What time is it?"

You almost cry simply by the sight of Twilight's dull eyes staring up at you, half-lidded and only appearing bright if compared to the dark bags hiding underneath them, but you manage to hold back the tears for the sake of not scaring him.

"I-I'm not sure. After sunset," You answer slowly as to prevent any wobbling to your voice.

"And the others? Is every - everyone else okay?" Hylia, he sounds awful, his once handsome, accent-laced voice butchered by a hollow croak.

"Yeah...Yeah, we're all okay - and don't worry about the shadow. Wild managed to take it down - thanks to you tiring it out, I'd say. You sure gave that thing a run for its money there," You attempt to joke lamely. Although your laugh doesn't carry much life to it, Twilight's expression does soften a tad after the sound.

"...Good..." Is all he says before closing his eyes with a sigh through his nose. Meanwhile you fidget nervously, debating with yourself on whether you should let the conversation die off so that he can continue getting rest or keep him talking while he's able to. You sure do love hearing his voice, after all, no matter how broken it may be; it reminds you that someone as great as him is actually real and, after recent events, still alive.

In the midst of your depressed thoughts, you notice Twilight reach his hand out towards you again - or at least it looks like he's trying to. Really, he only has the strength to lift it palm-up slightly off the covers, yet you understand this movement's wordless request. Ever so gently, as if he's made of glass, you take his hand and sandwich it between both of yours. He's a bit too cold for your liking, a sharp contrast to his normally warm touch, not that you draw attention to that worrying detail.

"...Is there anything I can get you?"

He tries to shake his head, but loses will halfway through the action and instead chooses to simply let his head lull to the side towards you. From there he stares for a bit longer than he means to, his dazed brain struggling to process his thoughts at its usual speed.

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Someone has to keep an eye on you," You allow a small smile, slowly reaching forward to help move his bangs away from his face, "We're all taking shifts throughout the night. I was just lucky enough to get the first."

Twilight hums, closing his eyes for a brief second when your fingers brush his forehead, "How'd you manage that?"

"Barely. For a second there, I thought I was gonna have to duel the Champion for it - had my hand on my sword and everything before he finally caved," Twilight makes a sound between a scoff and a laugh which makes your smile more genuine even if he does flinch in pain immediately afterwards, "The real question is how I won against Time...Actually, I wouldn't be that surprised if he's secretly standing outside the door as we speak."

A creak of old floorboards in the hallway makes your eyes dart to the door, almost expecting the man in question to walk in and call you out for your jokes, yet you calm that doesn't happen. Twilight brings your attention back to him by moving his thumb against your hand, "Don't tell 'em, but I'm glad it's you here. I like having ya' here with me..."

You press your lips, hoping it'll help you ignore the heat against your cheeks. That must be the first time Twilight has ever openly said he 'likes' anything related to you; you're certain you'd remember any other instances of such a milestone. It might not be the exact sentence you'd want him to use the word in, but it's a step in the right direction, so you'll take it.

"I like having you here with me, too, Twi...which is why I've officially decided that I'm too selfish to let you die on any of us. I don't care if I have to fist-fight Hylia for it; I'm not letting you get out of this journey so easily."

"That right?"

"I swear it on my life."

He chuckles weakly, although the sound is taken over by a fit of coughing. Promptly you pour a small glass of water using the pitcher kept on the bedside table before gently helping him sit up to take a careful sip.

It's insane for you to think that only a few weeks ago, you had been secretly watching him move hay bales at Time's place effortlessly. Now he lies here in bed struggling to hold a conversation, his muscles shaking horribly by the simply action of prompting himself up even slightly. Seeing him like this makes you feel awful, but you also consider yourself blessed to be the one taking care of him during a low point like this, ensuring that he's properly cared for and tended to almost like a spouse would.

"Seems like I'm starting to lose you, farm boy. You should relax and get some more sleep," He makes a face and seems prepared to argue, however he must not have been able to think of anything convincing to say - that or the aching in his bones has become too hard to ignore. Either way, instead of saying a word, Twilight nods droopily before inching his way back down against his soft pillow while you fix the blankets over him again.

"Look on the bright side: make it through this and you'll probably get special treatment from here on out. Get your bags carried for you, have whatever meals you're craving be made each night...If you hobble around a little I'm sure you could even get Time to fuss over you -"

" - And what about you?" Twilight quizzes and you can't tell if he's being serious or just teasing. It feels like the latter, yet the way he watches you while awaiting your reply makes you feel another way; soft and warm, but a tad anxious at the same time, "What can I get from you?"

You pretend to think, although in truth, you already know there wouldn't be any limitations for what you're willing to give. If he asked for the world right now, you'd figure out some way to gift wrap it for him...but that's too embarrassing to admit aloud, "...Depends on what you're thinking and if you can swing it the right way."

He hums, once again staring at you just long enough to make that anxious feeling really prominent. Is there something on your face that no one told you about earlier? Is he judging your messy hairdo that you had no time to fix since the battle? Did you sound too flirtatious in your answer? Maybe his injury has given him the ability to read minds, so now he knows just how desperate you are to earn his affections!

"...If I asked you to stay with me, would you?" Twilight whispers so quietly that you barely hear, yet you do. 

"I, uh...Time will be here in an hour or so for his shift, but I won't go anywhere until then, okay?" Not even your poor excuse at smiling can save your stumbled words, yet you pray he doesn't look beyond either. He's loopy from such a stressful day, so it makes sense that he's have trouble properly wording questions. It also makes sense for him to be scared to be left alone - anyone would be in such a state. He doesn't have to worry, though; between you and the boys, someone will always be by his side throughout the night. You'd expect that knowledge to be a relief for him, however Twilight only frowns and looks away with a surprisingly depressed look in his eyes. 

Fiddling nervously with your hands upon your lap, you ask carefully, "...Unless you're wanting me to watch over your for the whole night? In that case, I wouldn't mind staying if it would make you feel better. I'm sure the others would be fine with it if they could just check in here and there."

Twilight presses his lips, refusing to look directly at you. If you didn't know any better, you'd say that based on his continued reaction, you're still somehow missing the point of his question, yet no matter how much you rack your brain, you can't think of what else he would've possibly meant.

You were tempted to ask for more clarity, but Twilight speaks before you can, "...I'd like that."

"Yeah?"

He nods bashfully which melts your heart in a way you're sure would be shamefully clear if he were only looking in your direction.

"...Well, since you took one for the team -" Scooting your chair closer to the bed allows you to cross your arms over the mattress and rest your head on top of them. Desperately you try to ignore your nerves and the cute way Twilight curiously looks over at you, "- I'll stay for the night if you promise me one thing."

"Hmm?"

"Stay with me, too? Without you, I might just loose my mind. Don't tell anyone else, but you don't drive me nearly as insane as some of the other boys do," not in the same way at least.

The corner of Twilight's lips turn upwards, his hand taking it's time to move over yours. The second it makes contact, you take the chance to hold onto it, "...Sounds like a deal..."

You match his smile easily, "Get some sleep, Twi. I'll be right here when you wake up, so just focus on getting better for me, alright?"

He hums one last time, drifting off to sleep as commanded where he seems to be far more peaceful than earlier. As promised, you remain by his side until morning, eventually falling victim to quick naps yourself only disrupted whenever someone else sneaks into the room to see how things are going. You're certain you'll be tired tomorrow with an aching back after spending an entire night hunched over, but that's a small price to pay for someone like Twilight. It'll all be worth it to see him recover, granting you even more time to spend by his side through thick and thin.

[randomfandomblabdom]

I really need to vent about how much I like Cal and Merrin's dynamic in Jedi: Survivor cause they've quickly become probably my favorite canon pairing in the franchise.

I absolutely love that this relationship is built on the basis of friendship, respect, and a genuine mutual understanding of each other. From gameplay comments and conversations, Cal is very clearly so enamored with Merrin and literally everything about her. I know it's become a bit of a joke how clearly into her he is but he just thinks she's the most incredible being in the entire galaxy and it's honestly the sweetest thing. The writers could have very easily made his connection to Merrin a weakness or had it where it made his struggle with the darkness harder but I adore that they allowed him to be completely smitten with her and presented it as a strength. It's refreshing not only in Star Wars but in media in general, at least in my opinion. Love being presented as a positive asset is something so deeply missing in media nowadays - especially romantic love. Far too often in this day and age, love is presented as a weakness or something that will only bring you down, so I respect the fuck out of this writing.

Oops, this got really, really long so I'm putting the rest under a cut. It's kind of spitfire, so I apologize if it feels random.

I love how their first kiss is Merrin basically making a split-second decision where she realizes she doesn't want to die without kissing him at least once even if it runs the risk of making things awkward should they survive. Is it cliche as fuck? Absolutely, but it works so well in this instance. Cal being so dumbfounded, gawking at her like a fish, trying to process what the hell just happened that BD has to remind him they're literally about to die is the best thing too.

I appreciate that Cal is so obviously hesitant about giving into any sort of romantic feelings for Merrin because, of course, he would be due to his upbringing. He's pushing so hard against it to the point that he's even completely reluctant to so much as discuss it with Bode when they're on the Lucrehulk. Personally, I don't think Cal is oblivious to their potential feelings for each other. I've never been a huge fan of treating Cal as completely naive. He still might be a bit emotionally stunted, sure but he's lived 10 years outside of the Jedi Order at this point. I think he's hesitant to talk about it because first of all, it's really none of Bode's business but also, if he talks about it, he has to admit it, and if he admits it, that makes it real, and if it's real... well fuck, now he has to do something about it either way which is exactly what he's trying to avoid. I think he's trying to stay as neutral about it as he can until he gets to a point in the story/his arc where he decides he actually wants or feels ready to make a decision. Bode almost gets it out of him too before they're interrupted. The progression of Bode's questioning during that mission is something I actually find really interesting but that's a different topic.

Many people have pointed this out but Cal smiling so brightly while Merrin is clearly freaking the fuck out of Bode is just the cutest thing. Not only because he finds such humor in her scaring the shit out of people for fun when he of all people knows it's a running joke but he also goes along with the joke any chance he gets. He does this even when she's not around. People will be freaked out by her and he still plays along and it's not even like, "Yeah, I know, she's fucking scary bro," it's more like, "Yeah, I know, she can wake the dead, isn't it amazing how scary she is!" Someone else already pointed this out in another post but that feels almost more intimate than any kiss they share. His attraction to her encompasses all sides of her including those that many people find incredibly terrifying and I find that so endearing, he wouldn't ask her to change for anything. He's the only person who genuinely isn't freaked out by her in the slightest but not only that, he finds that side of her to be so incredible. Also, Cal being so blase with Bode about his obvious attraction to Merrin a mission prior and then having the most blatant sexual tension with her in front of Bode in the next scene is peak comedy, I don't care what anybody says. Like, Cal, honey, you just spent the entire previous mission trying to convince Bode (and yourself) there's nothing there and/or you're not pursuing it, so you're not doing yourself any favors by looking at her like that, standing that close to her, and speaking to her with the cadence of a lover bro.

I love that the second Cal walks onto the Mantis after killing Rayvis, she instantaneously picks up on the fact that something's wrong. Literally instantaneously. You can see her face drop the moment she sees him. She just knows something happened. Her ability to read him insanely well is something that is introduced very early on in the game, most noticeably in the campfire scene, and it stays consistent over the course of the story. The following conversation they have is honestly one of the best moments between them in the entire game. It's this type of conversation I've been wanting to see with a Jedi and their potential lover since Revenge of the Sith. He is so open with her even in a somewhat roundabout way about his genuine fear of losing himself and while the conversation is not explicitly about their relationship, the implication is still there and she 100% picks up on it, especially since he wonders aloud why Santari didn't see the change in Dagan before it was too late. Instead of shaming him for his reservations or calling it ridiculous or anything else she could have said at this moment, she instead decides to possibly help curb those fears and give him some comfort regarding it. She goes on to basically tell him in so few words she knows what she's signing up for and is willing to cross those bridges with him if they come. It's a great difference between Cal and Dagan. Though it's never outright stated that Dagan and Santari were in love, I feel like it's... pretty heavily implied, or at least he was definitely in love with her (was I the only one who read it that way??) but whereas Dagan demands that Santari talk him away from the darkness and seems to almost expect her to, Merrin herself plainly offers to do it with no prodding on Cal's part. It doesn't seem to be a burden Cal wanted to put on her, not something he was inherently expecting of her but she willingly offers, it is her choice, she wants to carry that burden with him. While she does seem maybe slightly annoyed by his hesitancy regarding their relationship to each other, she is also so incredibly patient with him while he's stewing over what he wants to do. It's beautiful. As a side note, "A shared dream is not so easy to wake from," is such an amazing line. Seriously, I want merch with that quote on it.

I liked that going through with the relationship was Cal's choice in the end. Merrin didn't push it, she didn't pressure it. She let him bring it up and come to her when he was ready and if that meant potentially being rejected by a man she very clearly adores, so be it, and I have no doubt she would've respected that choice if that's what he'd wanted. I know a lot of people seem to think he only makes this decision due to Bode's questions earlier but it really seems to be a combination of multiple things that lead to this. Bode picking his brain definitely got him thinking about it, maybe more than he wanted to, but I do think the other big part of Cal being willing to go forward with it at this moment is his confrontation with Dagan that, while an illusion, did cause him to come to grips with his own mortality in a way. "How does it feel knowing you're about to die. That your life meant nothing." As Cal says, Dagan uses an extremely powerful force hallucination based on fear here, so while losing himself to the darkness might scare him, his life being completely meaningless is what he seems to fear the most. Cal's journey throughout Survivor encompasses many things but one of them revolves around feeling aimless and finding a purpose, preferably outside of being a hired weapon that will surely and slowly consume him. It's what everyone consistently tells him: find a home, settle down, embrace happiness because it's fleeting, the path you're on is not healthy and will consume you otherwise...etc. His decision here to give in to his romantic attraction to Merrin is a culmination of all of these interactions and conversations he's had throughout the story, how they've influenced his line of thinking, and him coming to his own conclusions regarding what he personally wants and at this moment, when things are finally, calm and everyone is in a good place with a plan going forward, he personally decides there's no point in living up to the expectations of the Jedi when the Order doesn't exist anymore and wants to see where this could go.

I love the fact that when Merrin witnesses Cal's darkness in the ISB, it's made abundantly clear that she's just as afraid of losing him as he most likely is of losing her. I do think a major reason why she was able to talk him down at the moment is that he fundamentally understands what it feels like to lose everything and everyone, your entire livelihood. That is what they first bonded over and it's something that keeps them bonded in the saddest, yet most profound way and he would never want to add himself to the list of people she's lost. She's also doing exactly what she said she would. In an instance where again, she reads him like a fucking book, she can tell just from his responses on the intercom that he's losing himself and is guiding him back. She immediately went to rescue him as she says. No question, no argument, nothing, she simply does it. She made him a promise and she kept it and in that moment, he promises that she won't lose him, he won't allow it. This is a fundamental difference between Anakin and Padme's dynamic and Cal and Merrin's. While Anakin's love for Padme quite famously ends up extremely selfish in an "I would lose myself to ensure you're not ripped away from me" type of way, Cal and Merrin's dynamic is leaning towards a more selfless, "I won't allow myself to be lost because I can't let that happen for your sake," type of way and god damn it, I love it.

There are several interactions they have in gameplay that I'm lowkey peeved weren't included in cutscenes and one of them is when Cal returns to the Mantis after all but demolishing the ISB, they have this really short but great interaction where Merrin says that if he ever feels that way again, he needs to tell her. She doesn't even ask him to do it, she all but demands it, "If you feel that way again, you will tell me." She's demanding communication from him regarding the darkness and he doesn't fight this demand at all. He agrees to respect this request and I fucking love that from both of them. I will genuinely be kinda upset if we don't get a moment like that in the next game.

I like how their kiss after they've successfully navigated the abyss is kind of their first kiss inverted but instead of "omg we might die, I need to kiss you" it's more "holy shit, we survived, I need to kiss you," but instead of Merrin initiating, now it's Cal. I'm probably reading too much into that but whatever, it's cute.

This isn't about any one part in particular but I do love that it looks like the headcanon so many people had regarding Merrin most likely being quite physically affectionate is turning out to be true.

...I think that's enough for now lol I might add on some things later

Apologies for any typos and thanks for indulging my rambling if you got this far.

[galaxy-fleur]

Revisited RER recently, and I genuinely love Chris' and Rebecca's relationship so much... Gonna ramble about them for a bit here.

Despite also being totally out of his depths here, Chris is incredibly tactile and comforting with her. He has always cared for those around him, but I can't help but think that he does his best to be calm and reassuring around Becca because she's the youngest and the least experienced of them all. And yet she's stuck in this nightmare, too. The way he puts a hand on her shoulder and encourages her attempts at healing Richard with a simple but meaningful: 'Richard needs you now.'

Those words are merely an acknowledgement of her skills, no iron pressure behind them. I like to think that he expresses his belief in her here, hopefully to help her feel less scared and anxious. It's the least he can do, really. And sometimes all you need is someone to just show that they believe in you so you can keep going with no shaky hands. It also reflects on his trust in reliance on her in future installments, too. I think it's kinda sweet how Chris believed in her and encouraged her from the moment she was this fresh recruit, stuck in an unforseen situation. No wonder they are so close and soft with each other in Vendetta.

Him immediately blaming himself for Richard's death, obviously having no idea how to process it quite yet, and then Rebecca being just as lost on how to answer, because what can you even say in this situation? It really rings home how they are both so out of their element here. They are not seasoned operatives we are used to seeing, they are just two people who are forced to deal with something they've never encountered before and try to process all the loss they are hopeless to stop.

I think it's incredibly telling that Rebecca's initial response is to focus on what she should do next, whereas Chris's is to blame himself. Both are obviously shaken by Richard's death: Chris because he couldn't do anything stop it, and Rebecca because all her efforts on healing him were in vain. But they express it differently in the moment. It's also painful how Chris can't even look at her, until he switches into 'It's my fault' line of thinking. Poor guy has been shouldering this kinds of losses since day 1. I do think it also falls in line with how they respond to loss in future installments, too. Very neat to think about.

And then Rebecca just breaking down in tears after that short attempt at laughing it off, and Chris just putting a hesitant gentle hand on her shoulder as he lets her cry it out with no words being said. While it made super sad, it's also a nice contrast to them not looking at each other in previous instance vs standing face to face this time around.

Funnily enough, I don't think he's being aloof or insensitive here, as I've seen some say—quite the contrary. As I said above, what could you even possibly say in this kind of circumstance that wouldn't be, at most, a flat-out lie? But what he can do is just be there for her. Which is what he does. And that: 'be strong, Rebecca' is simple but genuine nonetheless. They must remain strong, at least until they are safe and out of there. Still, he doesn't try to stop her from crying, he only says this once she quiets down. It's really touching of him, honestly. He lets her express her distress and then encourages her when she's done.

And this lil' pat on her shoulders and 'Just stay with me, kid' is so cute! Not to mention the thumbs up afterwards :3

It's a sort of small but comforting gesture that probably goes a long way to someone in Rebecca's position. I can't help but think if that's Chris' big brother instincts at work, which is ever cuter to think about. He's a great superior to be around.

Also, it's kinda neat how the way he touches her shoulder changes throughout the game. First soft, gentle touches, and then more assured and encouraging pats by the end there. Both are good, but I still love that tiny detail.

As a bonus, the fact that Chris is the only one awake between the three of them during the helicopter ride also strikes me as kind of interesting. Both Jill and Rebecca are resting and allowing themselves to doze off, but he just stays staring off in silence, obviously having a lot on his mind. Whether he stays up to watch over the two or because he can't bring himself to relax, it's sort of a cool detail.

[nervoushottee]

Flaws and All CH. 3 | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: you getting jiggy with it with a knife to a can of frank and beans (no blood though)

Summary: You and Joel are on the road to Abe's place but stop to make camp before it gets too dark. You thank Joel for saving you.

Note: AHHHH GUYS HI! You have no idea how happy I am to post this. Fall is ever so approaching and I've been getting more into the comfort mood of the cold. I have been honestly writing this fic off and on throughout the time the last chapter was posted. I think I was at my previous job when I started this fic. But I quit that job and then I got a shitty 9-5 job and I quit that one haha! But no need to worry, just so happy my fingers are tapping on a keyboard again to write stories I can't stop thinking about.

Enjoy hottees!

(Light editing)

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Besides old cars and debris, the roads were thankfully quite bare. Nothing but the frequent deer and occasional squirrel crossing the road, that would scare you from time to time. But you would rather the fleeing animal stop you both than a group of raiders any day. 

Rain came an hour or so into the drive and washed away the snow dusted roads. You would miss it but it was better to not worry about snow if the two of you would need to camp for a night before reaching the place Abe talked about. You and Joel hadn’t said much of anything beside you giving him directions if he needed it. And the two of you learned early on that you didn’t really know how to read a map. 

You got pretty embarrassed after that, and it was one of the main reasons why you hadn’t spoken up. So the two of you rode in silence, you laid your head in the palm of your hand against the passenger window and watched the scenery pass by. 

You don’t know when or how long you fell asleep for but a bump in the road wakes you up. Blinking once or twice and rubbing your eyes with your good hand, you look around to see if any of the scenery has changed. “Sorry.” you hear Joel mumble. 

 ��I tried to avoid any bumps or potholes. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says in a low voice. Almost as if he keeps his tone soft and serene, you’ll fall back asleep. 

Shaking your head to dismiss his apology, you sit up straight from the slumped position you once were in. “I needed to get up anyway.” You yawn a bit, covering your mouth while doing so. “How far have we gotten?”

Joel nudges his head softly to indicate the road ahead, “Not too far now. Maybe six or seven hours til we get there, give or take.” he pauses before saying something else. 

You’ve noticed so far that Joel takes his time in trying to find the right words to say to you. Even if it's just about the simplest  things like the coffee he handed you back at the station. You wondered if there was a reason behind his pauses and his hesitance. Was it because of the way the world was now? Having to choose the right words to say to strangers who may or may not rob you in your sleep. Or was he like this before all of this happened? 

You didn’t think he was a stranger to you, not anymore. And maybe that was stupid to think on your part to let your guard down so early on  and think of him as your partner now. But something in you felt it was alright to. 

“Reckon it might be time to call it a night though. I don’t want to be on these roads when it’s dark. We haven’t seen anyone for miles and we’re lucky, but that luck might run out when the sun goes down. So it’s best to not stay out here and test that.” He finally tells you. You don’t disagree with him either. It's been a straight miracle that the two of you hadn’t seen anyone since the day when the settlement went to shit. 

“Have you ever been here? Abe's place?” You couldn’t pronounce the city from the map that sat on your lap and you were still kind of groggy to even try. 

“Not particularly.  ‘Ve heard of it but I’ve never been. It’s another reason why I’m not too keen on taking these roads at night.” He tells you. 

You hum in response, closing the map and tucking it  back into your backpack that sat at your feet. After a few minutes, Joel found a clearing that was wide enough to push the truck through and head into the forest. The drive was bumpy, and you were thankful that the tires hadn’t popped with how many old branches and rocks it drove over. Once Joel felt it was a good spot deep enough into the forest to not draw any attention he parks the truck and shuts off the engine. 

“Okay-” you say to gather yourself while unbuckling your seatbelt and turning to open the truck door. Your hand on the cold medal.  ready to push it open until you  feel a gentle touch against your elbow that stopped you. 

“Wait-” Joel hesitates, removing his hand from your arm in the process. He looks at you, pausing again like he wants to say something else after that but falters. He turns his head to look out the front window then the rear view mirror before he eventually speaks. 

“Let me take a look around first, just in case.”He asks you shyly as if you would deny his request. To take the initiative to look out for any danger before you come out. 

And maybe you would've put up a fight a few hours ago, but your body hasn’t fully woken up from your nap. Still fuzzy, warm and comfortable in your sitting position. You nod your head in which gives Joel the reassurance of you staying put until he says it's safe.

With the light slam of the truck door, you see Joel’s fleeting form in your side view mirror. Gun in one hand and flashlight in the other, he walks around the area you two have called home for the night to make sure it’s safe. And you tried to stay awake, you really did, but the sleep called you back so easily that you slipped right back into it. 

When your door opens unexpectedly you awake in fright. Your eyes widen as you frantically pull out the knife that you were sitting on the whole ride. Your healing hand is screaming at the harsh friction.

 “Hey-Hey it’s me. It’s just me, you’re okay.”Joel says to you with his hands raised. You refocus your eyes and see that Joel is in fact in front of you. It’s not a raider that killed Joel and now is after you and the goods in the truck. Just the man that’s been your traveling partner these few days. The man you’re starting to trust with your life.

With his eyes never leaving yours, he nods his head softly. Silently telling you that it’s okay, there’s nothing to be afraid of. That it’s just him. He places one of his hands on yours in a sign of comfort before slowly reaching for your knife. “Sorry I scared you. I tapped on the window but it seemed like you were out cold.” 

You nod your head in response. Placing a hand against your chest, feeling the rapid pitter patter of your heartbeat from the scare. You close your eyes for a second to try and catch your breath as you inhale and exhale slowly. You hear the soft mutter of Joel repeatedly telling you that you’re okay and that it was just him. He’s still so close to you, the warmth of his body, the smell of his skin and the sound of his voice help you to relax. You open your eyes when you feel Joel's  calloused thumb move lightly back and forth against the top of your hand. Continuing the gesture, he uses his other hand to take the knife out of yours. 

Looking down at his hand placed on top of your injured one, your heart doesn’t let up from the rapid heartbeat. Now it has a different meaning. Not from being afraid of dying or being tortured or whatever bad thought you had moments before. But from the small gesture of tenderness from the quiet man in front of you. 

As quickly as the gesture happens it goes aways. As Joel clears his throat, moves his hand and steps back. He moves enough for you to get out of the truck. 

“The spot is good. Once it gets dark, you won't be able to see the truck from far away. I had a hard time lookin’ even now.” That explains why you were able to fall asleep. He had been gone for a while. 

“We might have to keep the fire low tonight or even just sleep in the truck after we eat to keep ourselves from sticking out in the dark just in case.” He explains to you.

“Makes sense.” you say to him as you pull a few items from the back seat of the truck. “I’ll get dinner started then.”

The two of you work silently.  Joel goes around to collect pieces of wood and bark  to make a small fire. You gather a few cans of food to start dinner. Noticing that the supply was getting scarcely low, even with the small amount of things you found in the gas station. Making a mental note to tell Joel about it later, you sit on the ground across from him while he gets the fire going. You place the cans down in front of your crossed legs and get to opening them with your knife. 

The sounds of aluminum cracking and the crackling of burned wood filled your ears as you worked to open the cans. The tip of your tongue sticking out of your mouth absentmindedly as you push through the top of the can with your knife firmly. 

“What are you doin’?”

You look up to see Joel staring at you, still kneeled in front of the slow growing fire.Your tongue going back in your mouth as you pick  up the can you already have half open.  You hold it up and look at him confused. “Making dinner.”

“I see that.  But why are you using the knife? You tryin’ to get a cut on your other hand?” He asks you smugly, a small faint smile curling on his lips. 

You roll your eyes, “This is how I always do it. How do you think we had cold tomato soup last night? Or When we had uh- slimy chicken soup the other night.”

“I have a can opener.” He states. It was true, he did have a can opener. A  small one that annoyed the hell out of you with how hard you had to grip the metal and turn it with all your might. You’ve used can openers all your life and you had never seen a can opener as shitty as that one.  “I know you do.” You tell him. 

“And yet you still want to use that to open it? You could cut yourself.” He points at your knife. “Hey. If I don’t use this, I will be battling with that stupid thing for 10 minutes to open one, let alone two. This is way is easier.” You explain as you extend out your knife.

“Let me do it then so you won’t overwork your hand.” Joel says as he begins to stand up. 

“No, no, I’m fine Joel. You get that fire going.”

Joel shakes his head, the small gleam in his still there before he lets out a breath that can almost sound like a chuckle. “Well be careful, that’s all I’m saying.”You hum a response and get back to work, your tongue sticking back out as you concentrate. Nearly finishing the first can, you still feel the heaviness of someone staring at you. Looking up to see Joel watching you and your hands work against the aluminum can.

“Well I can’t work carefully with you staring so hard. I’m gonna lose my focus.” you tell him dramatically. He relents by lifting his hands up in surrender, turning back his focus on the fire. You open the second can a lot faster without his ogling. 

After the fire was set and the cans were warming , the two of you sat by the fire.  The sun was setting, the sky nearly dark and the sleeping bags underneath you both to aid against the cold damp ground. Your jacket zipped up to your neck and Joel’s zipped up to his chest. 

With fire crackling embers that float toward the sky, the moon hovering over you and the stars twinkling in the night. It almost feels normal. Like you’re out camping instead of surviving and it nearly makes you start crying. How nothing will ever be the same again.You would think after dealing with raiders and runners and whatever the hell else that's out there for a couple years would make you used to it. And it did for the most part. But there’s always that small faint feeling that creeps up on you when you hope the next day will be normal. That you wake up and you're back in your apartment waking up on your couch from this crazy dream

.

Clearing your throat, you force the thought away. You carefully pick up the warm can wrapped in one of your shirts to keep yourself from burning your hands. You blow lightly against your spoon to keep the food from burning your mouth before eating. You eat in silence, occasionally stealing glances at Joel who looks as if he’s staring right at you. But you know he isn’t. He’s looking past your shoulder seeing if there’s any danger lingering in the dark. Hiding behind a tree waiting to sneak on you both at the perfect moment. 

“I think we’re okay.”you say to him.

 His eyes move towards you before flicking down back to the can of frank and beans you gave him a few minutes prior. “You did a sweep before you started eating. If there was someone out there, they probably would’ve come out by now.” You don’t know if you were saying this is for his reassurance or yours. 

Joel eats a couple spoonfuls before speaking, “Can never be too sure.” he shrugs. 

“We should clear this up soon and call it a night in the truck just in case.” 

You don’t fight him on the decision. He’s kept the two of you safe for this long and you hadn’t complained, so you weren’t going to complain now. The scar on your palm itches in remembrance of how he saved you the first time. 

Joel finishes his can before you, so he begins to gather the items you brought out back into the truck. You finish your food right when he’s done, the only thing left to do was roll the sleeping bag that was under you and to put out the fire. Joel pours a small amount of water on the flames and stomps the rest out, making the small area turn nearly pitch black. 

The air is colder without the heat of the blazing orange. You opted not to put your sleeping bag away, but to use it as a makeshift blanket for the truck. With your passenger door open, you slide into the seat of the car, tossing your backpack in the back, Joel doing the same. 

You let out a sigh, trying to get comfortable but you somehow feel Joel’s stiff movements. You turn to look at him and see his door still open, half of his body out of the truck. “You okay?”

Joel and his hesitance. He stares at you for a few seconds. “I’m gonna  check again before we call it a night. Just to see how the truck looks at night and see if we need to move or not.”You don’t respond to him immediately, and it seems to almost make Joel falter in his words. “Okay.”you pause, “Be careful.” He nods his head before getting out fully, telling you he’ll be right back. 

“Wait!” you say a little loudly. Joel opens the door and sticks his head in first with his eyebrows raised at your request. You twist in your seat to get to your backpack, and pull out your knife and slowly hand it out to him. His lips slowly quirk up into a smile as a way of thanking you. “Lock the door. I’ll knock on the back of the trunk first so I won’t startle you again.”

With the plan set, Joel closes the door and gets swallowed by the darkness of the night. Your heartbeats a bit quicker when you think of anxious “what-ifs”. What if he doesn’t come back? What if he does and he’s hurt? What if there actually is someone waiting in the shadows for the right moment to act?

Morals were the last thing on anyone’s mind in this world. Now, it was only about survival of the fittest. No matter what you had to do or who you had to hurt to see another day. And in the beginning, it made you sick. The killing and the screams and everything else in between. Some days it still does. 

But with Joel, it felt a little easier. Especially with how cautious and attentive he’s been today. From what you’ve gathered from the short time of being at his side, he seems to have always been a cautious and attentive man. But since the gas station, since the call with Abe, he’s even more so. You won’t ask him about it though. You won’t pry just yet because it makes you feel safe. Something you haven’t felt in a long time and you truly don’t know what he’ll say if you ask him. Or that he’ll stop altogether.

Just as Joel had said, you hear two taps against the back of the truck before seeing Joel’s dark form. You reach over the front seat and unlock his door so he can get inside. 

“All good?” you ask him.

 He takes a second putting his flashlight in one of the cupholders and starts to make himself comfortable.  Letting out a sigh of relief or exhaustion (you couldn’t tell which one). He finally  nods, “Could hardly see the damn thing in the dark, and even with the light.” he gestures to said flashlight. 

“That's good news.” Joel hums in agreement. 

The two of you sit in silence, the only sound is crickets in the trees and the rustling of forest animals. “Nearly forgot-”Joel says as he takes out your knife and hands it to you. 

“Oh.”you say in surprise, forgetting yourself that you had given it to him in the first place. You were glad he didn’t have to use it and told him as such. He agreed right along with you. 

“So when we get to Abe’s place, what’s next?” you ask him softly in the dark. If it wasn’t from the moon cascading its light against the front glass of the truck, you probably wouldn't be able to see him. You can’t see much as you would with the daylight or even the evening haze. But enough to see that his eyes open when you ask him the question. 

“Keep moving I guess.” He says simply. “Abe said we could stay temporarily but we won’t know how the place is until we get there. We don’t know how secluded it is or if it sticks out like a sore thumb so, we can’t really make much plans until we get there.”

You turn to the sound rustle at the side of your door, but don’t see anything. And Joel doesn’t make any movements that indicate danger. If you listen as hard as you can, you can hear the small sounds of squeaking. A rat or a squirrel you tell yourself with a sigh. 

You subconsciously scratch at your clothed palm as you look out the window. Accepting that the rustle sounds weren’t an animal but a raider. 

“Lemme take a look at this.” Joel says as he softly takes your injured hand into his. It causes you to move your attention from outside to him. Turning your head you watch as Joel repositions himself so he’s turn slightly towards you to get a better grip on your hand. “How’s it feeling?”

You shrug, “It doesn’t really hurt anymore, just itches from time to time.”

He nods before slowly untucking the end part of the cloth. “Should be okay to take this off now.” 

You watch as Joel holds your hand in his as he attentively unwraps the cloth. Despite telling him you’re not in pain he’s still just as gentle as the first time he helped you. After the last piece of gauze falls from your hand, the two of you see a red angry scar in your palm. A scab forming over it. 

You slowly make a fist with your scarred hand a few times to see how it feels. It’s not all the way healed, but it’s freeing to not have the gauze on all the time. Joel hasn’t said a word as he watches you make a fist and open your hand back up again. He uses his thumb to lightly trace the scar. Your breath falters slightly from the sudden touch. You hope he didn’t hear it. 

“How’s that?” He asks, staring at you, waiting for your reply. 

You nod your head, Joel turns back to your scar and this time his thumb rubs against it a bit firm then before. It stings a little but it isn’t terrible and you tell him as such. 

He nods at the information before softly placing your hand back down on the truck’s center console. “Good. Should be fine then without the cloth. It needs to breathe so it can heal fully.”

After that, silence engulfs you both as you try to sleep, but sleep doesn’t come to you as quickly as it did hours before. Thinking too much about these past few days. About Joel and how safe he’s made you feel. And how he didn’t leave you to go to that other place Abe had mentioned. You never would have thought you would have partnered up with just one man for as long as you have been with him. You’ve been with groups with men before, you’ve been alone and you even stayed at settlements or bad attempts at QZs. But never a one on one partner like this. 

“Thank you by the way.” You say out loud without much context for him to understand. You hear Joel turn his head towards you but you don’t look at him. Your eyes straight as you squint to watch the trees move slightly against the cold wind.  

“You don’t have to thank me for that darlin’, I told you already it wouldn’t have been right-” Joel starts to explain to you seriously. The endearing name hits your heart, making you turn your head the second he says it. But you don’t speak on it as Joel pleading eyes tell you not to. You assume it as an accident and try not to make anything out of it. Thinking it’s that southern hospitality subconsciously creeping back out of him. 

“No, not that.” You slide the sleeping back from your lap up to your chest to keep yourself as warm as possible against the cold to distract yourself. You take a breath, 

“Thank you for letting Abe know I was there, that I was with you. With how shit this world is now, it's still very surprising to not get tricked or left behind.” you exhale out with a humorless laugh. 

You sneak a look at Joel to see if he smiles even a centimeter at your terrible attempt at a joke but he stares at you with an intensity that you’ve only seen twice. The first time when Joel rescued you from your near death experience and the second when he was on the radio with Abe. It causes you to freeze in your seat and not dare try to move your eyes away from his. “I’m not gonna leave you.” he tells you. 

Those five words, so simple yet mean so much. How serious it sounds when he says it to you. His eyes almost daring you to say something otherwise, and you’re almost tempted to.  And it’s as if a weight is lifted off your shoulders and your chest, you sink a bit into your seat. You nod your head softly to him in understanding before turning your head to your window. 

A small smile grows on your lips as you see small white flakes fall from the sky. 

“It’s snowing.” you say quietly. Joel doesn’t say anything to you, but you don’t mind. Feeling comfortable in the silence as you watch the snowflakes fall down. And slowly but surely, your eyes drift close and you fall asleep. 

———————

Taglist: @hoemadegrace @ninjarose23 @mandeepandee1997 @sheepdogchick3

[abby118]

It makes me so happy to see I’m not alone here. Honestly the Loki fandom is so fucking isolating, and I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions. (Hell, I can’t even criticize the TVA without “UWU THE TVA ARE SMOL ANGST BLORBOS WITH TRAUMA! THEY’RE LOKI’s WHOLESOME FOUND FAMILY WHO HELPED HIM!!!”) It’s helped me a little bit to remember Loki in the series is a variant of our boy, because like…he’s literally nothing like Loki in the slightest and no offense to the fans, but it feels like a majority of them haven’t even TOUCHED the previous films. (Literally saw a post calling them old and outdated.)

Thank you for this blog. 🥺

Ooh yes, mhm. It can be isolating, for sure, but I also think we're fortunate that it did split into pre and post ragnarok eras of the fandom because some fandoms die when its source material gets retconned. I definitely relate to the opinion aimed towards the new "fans"; they're one of the most disrespectful and meanest people I have had the displeasure of interacting with in fandom spaces and I've been on this site for a while now.

And no, the character in the series is not a variant of Loki. The *only thing they share is a name, which has been stolen from the original character it rightfully belongs to, with the intent of cashing in on the fans. I refuse to refer to him as the same character. *They do share the same actor too, and as much as it hurts to say it, because Tom Hiddleston has been my favourite actor since I can remember - I was literally 9 when I joined the fandom when T1 came out..(for context, I'll be turning 22 this year), I no longer relate to how he views, or seems to view, Loki. And don't get me wrong, he will always be the person who played my favourite character, that will not change, but I do not see his interpretation of Loki as my own anymore. It doesn't even match his old one. And I know I'm not alone in feeling like this.

The TVA is a topic I don't have the energy to get into but it is beyond problematic. I'll just say that, I'm sure we all know what I'm getting at there. And I wouldn't even say it "feels" like the newer people haven't touched the movies. I have spoken to a few of them and it is an actual thing, apparently. Some of them started with ragnarok...which does explain a lot...and never bothered to check the original ones. And then they complain about feeling unwelcome among the fanbase, I wonder why that is, huh? - "I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions."

Don't listen to them. Block them. They are not interactions that would bring you enjoyment or any sort of positive feeling and that's not what fandoms are supposed to be like, trust me. If you genuinelly feel upset about people's takes and opinion aimed towards you, you have every right to avoid them. Tumblr has no algorithm and blocking is nothing but curating your experience, you don't owe anything to these people. I, myself, have done this, including filtering tags, and it is so much more peaceful than when I rejoined (beacuse I changed blogs). Still, no longer being able to go to the main tag is incredibly sad.

Find a group of people you can interact with, follow the tags that are more specific and avoid what doesn't benefit your fun here. And thank you for being here, really. Especially for reaching out 💚🖤 I'm very glad you like my blog. I'm just doing my own thing, which in my case, means trying to stay true to the fandom I loved and enjoyed (and still do) from years ago, regardless of the notes or what people say. Because, at the end of the day, all that matters is your own enjoyment. I'm trying not to post too much negativity towards post2013 despite having a lot to say because there are blogs who do that, and do so well (thank you guys), and we need one that's focused on the good things too, but sometimes it really is needed. So thank you for the opportunity.

[qtssvnwoo]

Hi! Could you write an angsty post!war Draco Malfoy fic with reader where Draco wakes up from a nightmare and cries ;-; (Pls and thank you sm, you can ignore if u want)

This has got to be in the top five favorite things I've written, thank you so much for requesting!!

Prompt list- For if you want to request!!

Masterlist- All my fics in one place for you <3

Comfort-Draco Malfoy

A/n: I'm honestly having so much fun bringing your requests to life, I love ya'll <3 Italicized is the nightmare!!!

Word Count: 1.0k

Warnings: Mentions of near-death experience, body wounds and graphic imagery, mild swearing.

It started in a black room. Draco didn’t know what was going on but before he knew it, he was back at Hogwarts, people running, crying, and screaming. He saw familiar faces running and some chasing. He didn’t know where to look, but he felt the sudden sense of dread that he felt that day. 

That was when he heard you. You were screaming his name, the dreaded sound of your raw and pitiful screams hit his ears and he had an immediate sense of fear wash over him. Draco ran through the crowds of people, tripping over the rubble from the building trying to get to you, and when he did he felt his heart drop to his chest. 

He saw a death eater on top of you, smiling like a psychopath, a smile that made his bones shake within him. He tried to move but he couldn’t. He watched as the death eater bit the side of your neck, the blood running down your body like a stream of water. He watched as you screamed in pain, and as he heard the word “Cruicio” again and again coming from the death eater. 

He screamed, or at least tried to, but nothing came out. It’s like his voice was stolen from him. All he could do was watch. 

Finally, the death eater stopped, and Draco felt his whole body tense as he saw you look over at him, and mouth his name before he physically saw your color drain from your face and the soul leave your body. The death eater liked their fingers, and looked over at Draco, smiling before disappearing in a cloud of dust. 

Draco could move now, and he ran to you. He grabbed your lifeless body and he shook you, begging for you to wake up. He felt himself crying and as the hot tears poured down his face he repeated the healing curse over and over again as an attempt to bring you back to live. But your wounds were too severe, your pain had sent you into overstimulation and caused your brain to just stop. 

He gripped your body close to his and he screamed your name over, and over, and over again until he just couldn’t anymore. He felt the eyes of your family, and Harry on him as he pulled you closer to his chest. 

Draco felt his heart shatter, the different pieces falling apart like an unglued puzzle. He screamed for you to wake up. Until he was hyperventilating. In Between the breathes he begged for you to come back, he begged whatever gods were up there to bring you back to him, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Draco. She’s…she’s gone son.” His mother said softly, as to not break the remaining pieces of her son's heart. Draco stared up at his mom, he looked at her and saw the tears welding up in her eyes. He gripped onto your body tighter, your head falling limp in his arms as he shook his head vigorously. 

“She’s not dead. She’s just tired mom. She’s been studying so well to go to that school in America. She’s been staying up late too even though I told her to sleep. She’s just sleeping mom.” He cried to himself as he hugged your body. 

Draco was tossing and turning in his sleep. Repeatedly saying your name in a hushed tone. You were concerned when you woke up and saw Draco in cold sweats, tossing and turning. You lightly shook him, trying to wake him. 

He woke up suddenly, jerking up from his sleeping position and letting out a horrid scream. His breaths were short, and he continued to say your name over and over.

Not wanting to scare him more, you lightly took his hand in yours as you pulled his face towards you. 

“Daco, I’m here, I’m right here.” 

Draco’s breaths were still heavy, he looked at you with wide eyes and tear stained cheeks. He grabbed your face harshly, he turned your neck from side to side, checking for the scar left by the death eater. He checked your wrists, he checked your face, and he did this over and over again. 

“I-I, you were, I didn’t, I couldn’t-”

“Draco, my love, take a deep breath. You’re okay.” You pulled his hand to your chest as you breathed deeply, trying to get him to breathe with you. His breathing slowed down and you softly smiled at him. 

“I’m here my love. I’m okay.” Draco nodded and pulled his hand away. He laid back down on his back and looked at the ceiling. You laid down on his chest, scotting yourself closer to him to lay on top of him. He wrapped an arm around you and turned himself over so that your head was in his chest. He kissed the top of your head and pulled you closer into him and sighed deeply. 

“Do you wanna tell me what the dream was about?” You asked. You heard Draco suck in a shaky breath before he said anything. 

“It was back during the war. When we had to split up. It was when I found you underneath the death eater. But, this time I couldn’t repel them off of you, this time, I couldn’t…I…You were dead.” You sighed as you remembered the contents from that day. All you could do was let Draco hold you, let him feel the beating of your heart and your steady breaths as you stroke his back. 

“I’m here Draco. You saved me, remember?” Draco smiled at you as he pulled you in closer to his body. 

“What if…Y/n what if I hadn’t saved you?” He asked. You felt the slight shiver in his voice and you knew how scared he was, even to think about it. But you just pulled yourself away, letting him look into your eyes as you smiled at him. 

“Draco. I know you. Never in a million years would you ever not save me. You always have and you always will.” 

“What if a day comes where I can’t get to you?  Where I’m don’t make it in time?” 

“Draco Lucius Malfoy. You always manage to make it just in time. Even so, I can hold my own until you come.” 

Draco laughed and kissed you before pulling you back into his chest. 

“And that you would Darling.” 

[motorsportoverload]

WHAT THE HELL OSCAR!!!!

HE'S A RACE WINNER! IN HIS SECOND SEASON! OSCAR PIASTRI YOU ABSOLUTE GOAT!

I'm extremely happy for him, can't believe it's only been a year and a half of watching him race in F1. And yes, I know he won that sprint last year, but let's face it a grand prix win is so much more important!

Onto a sadder note,

McLaren what the actual fuck.

Anyone who says Lando had no right to be mad, I disagree, and here's why:

McLaren at the start of the race told both drivers they wanted to keep the order as is, with Oscar in front. But, when they began pitting, they pit Lando first. Now, they were undercutting (correct me if I'm wrong;) and usually you would pit the driver in front first, and then the slower one, to keep the order. I don't know frankly what McLaren thought would happen, but obviously Lando came out first, with Oscar literally 6 secondsbehind him! Of course, they told Lando to slow down and let Oscar pass, but

a) Lando is a racing driver, he obviously wanted to stay first, especially since he's had a first taste of a win.

b) They pitted him first by their own fault, so it wasn't even his fault he ended up in front

c) Oscar was six seconds behind, putting also Lando at risk if he slowed down and gave him the position, with Lewis right on his tail.

Even more, McLaren started legit guilt-tripping Lando when he wouldn't slow down, because they wanted to give Oscar his first win. Notably,

WJ: “Lando, still 21 laps after this one. You do have the current fastest lap, look after the tyres.”

(trying to insinuate to slow down, to let Oscar come close.)

WJ: “We need to save more tyres please, and we do want to let Oscar through.”

LN: “Well you should have boxed him first then, surely no?”

WJ: “Doesn’t matter.”

LN: “I mean, it does. To me maybe.”

(Again, asked him to slow down, which Lando replied to justly, because who wouldn't be upset from a team mistake, which doesn't benefit you? Yes, they're a team, but it must be frustrating that your team fucked up their own decision.)

WJ: “And Lando, there are five laps to go. The way to win a championship is not by yourself, it’s with the team. You’re going to need Oscar, and you’re going to need the team.”

(🤨 I was honestly weirded out by this. I get it, but cmon, McLaren knew what they were doing pitting him first! His frustration is understandable in my opinion, and the whole time McLaren were just playing the both of them, while Oscar literally apologized for winning😭)

OP: “Yep, thank you, everyone. Thank you very much. Thanks for the coordination. Sorry, I made the swap a little bit more painful than it needed to be."

(Poor guy 😭 but anyways, hopefully this doesn't happen again!)

ON TO OTHER THOUGHTS!

Great again for Osc! And tbh I found the comeback of 2021 Max and Lewis 💀 Guys let's be fr I love Max but that move was crazyyyy! Also, GP calling him childish was hilarious 😭 I have a feeling that RedBull overall have been very jittery and daring these past few years because they've realised there is fair competition now, and are scared to lose both the WDC and WCC.

Interesting though, definitely one of the most interesting in terms of all field battles! Poor Pierre who had to retire early and miss out though!

QUESTION: Do we think Esteban is seriousyl going to Haas now??? I've heard Carlos is still engaging with Mercedes, too!

I'm only hoping that Zhou and Valtteri have seats next year 😖

Can't wait for Spa, one of my favorite tracks!

[frogmanfae]

Quill Kipps X GN! Reader- coffee date

Summary: Quill Kipps asks you on a date, George hates him, and Lockwood is oblivious. You go anyway and talk about pretty much nothing, which is nice when you have the whole world on your shoulders at any given moment

A/n- this feels rushed to me but I still think it's cute

*Reader pov*

"What did he want?"

"Jeez, George let me come in before you start bombarding me with questions." I pushed past him and set my bag on the floor.

"Well? Did he offer you a job at Fittes? He wants to take you, I knew it!"

"I'm not going to Fittes. Calm down. He just wanted to chat. As acquaintances. Normal people. He didn't offer me a job."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. You can't get rid of me so easily. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go out again. I just came back for my wallet."

I grabbed my wallet and ignored George's glare as I walked back out the door. Letting out a sigh, I went to the local shopping center.

The truth is, I had actually been returning home to just stay there, but Kipps stopped me across the street and asked me out for coffee. I'll be honest, I know my friends hate him, but I think he's a nice guy. He seems genuine enough, especially since his gift faded almost completely and he became a supervisor as opposed to a group leader. He's less stuck up anymore.

However, after I had accepted, I realized I had no clothes to wear to a casual date. My wardrobe was almost exclusively athletic clothes for work and about two very fancy outfits for formal events.

I went through a few stores before I eventually just decided to wear a nice long sleeve v-neck and some nice jeans. Nothing fancy, but better than basketball shorts and a stained hoodie.

Once I got back home, George still seemed upset but didn't say anything as I made my way up to my room I shared with Lucy, but she was on a trip to see her ghost locked friend this weekend, so it was just me. I changed into comfier clothes and got into bed.

It was still early morning, but the sleep schedule of an agent is all over the place. We're mostly nocturnal because we work all our cases during the night. George and Lockwood are likely to be getting to sleep pretty soon too.

We didn't work a case last night so it's a bit of a struggle to fall asleep. I usually get so exhausted I'm barely able to make it to bed at all.

I listen to my surroundings. Lockwood and George are arguing about something I can't make out. There's young children laughing outside. There are some birds singing in the trees by my window. And now it doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.

*time skip*

I get up at eight o'clock pm. A bit of an early day for any of us, but honestly I'd rather not be seen leaving anyway. It's to my benefit George and Lockwood are asleep.

I get dressed in the outfit I bought yesterday. Suddenly, it doesn't seem as nice as it did in the shop. I frown and try to fix it but to no avail. I just sigh and go downstairs, writing a note telling the others I've gone to the library. I grab my bag and begin heading out the door when I hear a voice.

"Where are you off to at such an hour?"

I whip around. "Lockwood! You scared me!" I huff. "Just the library."

"Are those jeans?"

"Yes? What about them?"

"I didn't even know you owned a pair. Why so dapper for the library?"

"I just felt like it. Now can I please leave? They close in an hour and I've still got to walk there."

He motions toward the door. "Have at it. I'll see you later." I turn the knob again. "Oh! One more thing! I don't know who it is you're meeting with, but tell them I said hello." He smiled and ducked back into the library, leaving me there with my mouth agape.

I looked at my watch; 8:30. "Shit!" I run out and get a cab to take me to the cafe Kipps agreed to meet me at. I tip the driver before rushing into the building to see Kipps sitting at a booth alone.

"I'm so sorry I'm late! I got a bit held up at the agency." I sit across from him.

"Oh! It's no matter! I was actually running a bit late myself." He smiled. "One of our new recruits is a bit nervous and I had to calm him down so he didn't quit."

"Goodness that's stressful."

"All in a day's work. What's your drink, I'll go get it for you."

"Oh no I couldn't possibly-"

"I asked you to accompany me, so I'll be the one paying, okay? Now, what would you like?"

I smile. "A (f/d) please."

"Coming right up." He goes to the counter to order both of our drinks.

He returns a few minutes later and slides mine in front of me. "One (f/d) just for you."

"Thank you very much, Sir Kipps."

"Oh please, call me Quill." He waves his hand. "I'm not your rival anymore. Well, not directly."

I nod. "Right, you just train our rivals now." I laugh a bit. "It's alright, I can't imagine I've got much longer with my gift."

"It's not that bad after a while. Sure, at first you think your entire world is collapsing, but you get used to it." He shrugs as he takes a sip of his drink. "But let's talk about something else. I want to get to know you outside of work."

I nod. "I'd like that."

"So... What do you like to do? For fun?"

"Hm... I like going to the movies. And the library. And there's this place in my hometown where you can go to just break stuff, lots of fun."

"That sounds awesome!"

"Right? I'll have to take you sometime, it's brilliant!"

"Does that mean you're interested in this being a regular occurrence?"

"I'm not opposed to the idea." I take a drink. "Though, I didn't tell anyone I was meeting with you."

"Ooh, risky~" he flexed his eyebrows.

I scoffed. "As if. I could take you down if need be."

"Honestly, I don't doubt that." He looks at me.

We both just start laughing. It's nice to finally have some new company that I don't live with.

We stay there for about an hour before he has to go to work. Before he leaves, he hesitantly kisses my cheek. "Give me a ring, will you?"

"Uh- Yeah! Yeah, of- of course." I bumble out.

He chuckles. "I'll see you around."

"Be careful tonight!"

"I always am! But I'll be extra careful! Just for you!" He smiles and waves as he walks out the door. I start my way back home, keeping an eye out for any early visitors.

I get back rather quickly, only to find George standing by the stairs. "Where've you been?"

"Out. Didn't you read my note?"

"I don't believe it. You were out with Kipps weren't you?"

"No. Whats it matter anyway?"

"Because I am essentially your brother, I worry about you."

"There's no need. I was alone and back before the curfew bells rang. It's all fine. Now, if you'll excuse me-" I push past him. "I need to get out of these clothes and into some sweatpants."

I go up to my room and change into my athletic clothes. We don't have a case to work tonight, so it's going to just be a chill night in. I go to the library and sit next to Lockwood.

"How was your date?" He asks, not looking up from his magazine.

"It wasn't a date!"

"If you say so..." He turns the page.

"... It went well."

"Well how splendid." He looks at me. "Mind telling me who it is if you're going on a second?"

"You know, I think I'll wait to disclose such details for a while longer."

I smile. It's refreshing to have something to myself. Nobody demanding for me to share. It's just something for me.

Me and Quill is just my little bit of information. Splendid.

[therealv1ultrakill]

Honestly I will not make this a habit, but this place is in some sense my personal diary now so !

I am a bit upset? I do not shame or gatekeep others for having similar interests or being insanely passionate (i.e "number one fan of xyz"), but seeing someone in a server I am in was a bit of a jumpscare! But also in some sense good, I think. Wake-up call of sorts, and I don't say that just to cope or remove the feelings from it.

I really like this myth/lore/horror (whatever you'd like to call it, haha) game. And it wasn't unpopular before per se, but especially over the past month/since its full release, it has been EXTREMELY popular. We're talking double-digit thousands (10k, 20k, you get the point). And I saw someone who.. I don't really find myself using the word "lore" for people anymore, it feels kind of icky. At least, for more mundane or truly not like. TRAUMATIC traumatic situations. Do some of these things scar my mind? Yes. Most things in life do, in technicality, butterfly effect, unpredictable outcomes, whatever. I had to let this callus my mind. I still feel weak, worthless, pathetic, cruel, etc. But I know I am not those things, and again, in some very weird way the initial thing before the server-seeing event really helped me begin my progress on my backbone, and actually feel like I can truly believe in myself.

Anywho, I struggle to stay on track, it's a very apparent thing with me that my mind has multiple railroad systems (hah! no pun intended though) going on at the same time. It scared me! I got a little nervous. I got anxious. And all the built-up positive energy (which was already a bit of an iffy thing) came down. Even now, I woke up feeling a bit of sorrow. But I do not hate myself, still. It does hurt, but I am finally at a point where I am doing my best to allow myself to feel these things and process this hurt while also not using my wishes (be it well or not), energy, mental rooming, etc. on these people involved, or anyone as a whole in my past who likely does not enjoy my continuing existence. I felt jealous, almost, for a second. But I do not think it was because of any posted art, but I think just as a whole. The concept of sharing something I love so deeply and devote a lot of time to. The thing that I want to be one of the number one fans of. I am still trying to accept though that there will always be a person better, more devoted, more obsessive, etc. at something than I likely will. Sure, I can become one of those. But I do not think it ought to be for this, especially since it has negatively impacted me a bit at times / controlled my emotions some (prior to this incident. They do not control me that much, my friends!).

Also, tbf… the creator + the currently morphing fandom are like. Really fucking foul at times. Like yeah dude can ban whoever he/they/? want but it's pretty damn wild that if you post chit-chat in the channel (granted they said not to) you get immediately banned. And see, that alone I wouldn't give really a rats backend about - it's the fact that the fandom and creator revel in it and so many people continued dog-piling and mocking people, I swear I've never seen the words "lacking media literacy/lack reading comprehension" be run into the ground so fast it looked like 65% of the channel was pure spam. Like… damn? I know the internet sucks (and someday I ought to go on a tangent about why the phrase/saying "it's just the internet, get used to it/get over it/why don't you expect it?" is stupid, harmful, and excusing bad behavior and denouncing any form of accountable and perpetuating people to get away, but I digress..)

[wri0thesley]

hi Nat! hope everything is well!🥹 I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but how do you get people to interact with you? i have quite a big following if I say so myself but it feels like there’s barely any interaction 😭 mostly it’s my fault as well to contribute to that, but I’ve been more active nowadays and when I try to interact by posting stuff so my lovely followers can interact, nobody really does. do you know the best way for interaction?🥹sorry for bothering you with such a question :(

i do not mind at all anon!

i actually have absolutely no idea. i am INCREDIBLY lucky that my beloved followers interact with me so much (to the point i feel AWFUL i have so many unanswered asks), especially because the usual advice for getting interaction is usually 'give interaction yourself' and aside from reblogging and sometimes replying, i get too nervous to send asks and such (if i do i usually send them anon even to moots fgbkjnbgnj).

if it helps give any sense of interaction vs follower count, i have about 15k followers (i have been writing on tumblr for a LONG time and writing reasonably consistently). i do think that the fact i've been around for a while helps too to be honest; people kind of see me as a safe person to come to with asks! i also try very hard to be friendly and open which i think helps; i want to be a positive force without being an UwU Toxic Positivity Force! i also generally try not to get involved in drama any more (i was involved in a little bit a long time ago when i just wrote jojo); again, i think that's a thing people do think about with interaction, because it can be scary to interact for the first time and fear that the blog is going to laugh at you!!!

i also try and treat the anons i DO get like they're my friends and mutuals instead of making a big divide between 'this is my friend group of mutuals and these are my Less Important Anons'. i know i personally get scared of interacting with blogs who seem to have a very defined friend group and do not really venture outside of that; it can feel cliquey even when it's not!!!

so yeah gbfdjnkfgbnk. not helpful i'm sorry! lots of my advice is honestly just 'stay on tumblr and write what you like and enjoy and people will come to you'. being friendly always helps! reblogging and commenting and sending asks (i send ask prompts when i can when they're reblogged because that's easier for me than speaking off my own head! i also try and practise ask prompt etiquette - if i reblog it from someone i try to 100% send them an ask from it too, that's polite!) helps too. treating anons like your friends* (*obviously in a non parasocial way; like friends you're seeing at a party as opposed to your bff forever) helps!

i hope that any of that helps!!! it can be hard and disheartening to not base your worth as a writer (or whatever fan-content you make!) on your interaction but i promise as long as you are having fun and being nice eventually people will notice and will give back what you give out!!!! <3

[skylar19737]

My Broccoli Boy- Izuku Midoriya

_____________________________________________

Warnings: Angst/hurt, Katsuki, some cursing, comfort, and a whole bunch of FLUFF. Fem!reader, Hope ya like it (ФωФ) WC: 1.8K~

Izuku's POV:

"Y/n? Are you in there?" I ask through Y/n's door. She almost always sleeps through her alarms, so normally, I would have to go to her dorm and wake her up.

"Baby?" I ask again, getting no response. I test to see if the handle is unlocked, then open the door and walk into her room to see she's not in it. I glance into her closet, which is currently lacking a uniform. "Huh, I guess she's already in class." I close the door behind me as I walk out of the room.

Once I make it in the classroom, I see Mr. Aizawa talking with Y/n. It took a few minutes, but once he finished, I walk over to my seat and sit next to her. "Hi, you're here a bit earlier than usual today." I say, looking at her intently. She seems a bit off for some reason. "Yeah, my mom wanted to talk to Mr. Aizawa about my progress. She wasn't too excited with my results of last weeks training exercise and was furious. She threatened to pull me out of school if I didn't get my 'head out of the clouds,' or so she says." That explains a lot. She looks so "After school, come up to my dorm, okay? I have something to give you." I say, giving her a warm smile. "Alright." She says, now focusing on the paper in front of her.

<<<Time Skip>>>

________________________________

Y/n's POV:

After a few hours, school ended. Now, I can finally figure out what Izuku wants to give me. As I'm walking down the stairs, my knees buckle, making me fall to the ground. This was my moms fault. I have been overworking myself by doing an extra 6 hours of training with Katsuki just to get her to leave me alone. Trying to juggle classes, training, and working for my mother is overwhelming me. Now, she's pushing me even harder because my grades aren't high enough for her, even if I've been maintaining the number three spot in all of my classes.

Gripping the railing, I pull myself up and continue my way to the dormitory.

Izuku's POV:

"Alright, I'm done!" I say, positioning the last blanket across the top and completing the fort. I'm doing this for her because I can tell she's been overworking herself. I've noticed how her usual cheerful smile hasn't been reaching her eyes, how she and Kacchan have been walking into the dorms right before curfew looking exhausted. Just a few days ago, she was struggling to stay awake in the middle of class, so I asked Kacchan how long she's been training with him. Luckily, he didn't try to hit me when I did, but even he looked worried about her. It only made sense for him to worry. The three of us have been friends since we were little after all.

He told me that she hasn't been functioning properly and because her quirk demands her to be mentally stable. It's making it difficult for her to focus fully during training. Not only that, but he said when he goes to her house, her mom is rude and aggressive towards Y/n. It scares me not knowing what's going through Y/n's head right now. Honestly, it's starting to worry me. How could it not? She means too much to me to just let her suffer by herself. She always helps me with things, like when I get anxious about something regarding my quirk. Or the time Kacchan and I fought after curfew, and she followed us to try and break it up. She has done so much for me. It's time that I help her.

I hear a knock at my door and walk over to open it. "Hey, Kacchan!" I say, in an enthusiastic tone. "Hey, you damn Deku. I brought some food." He responds. He's unusually calm today, I'm not complaining, but I wonder why. He opens the bag from the convenience store in his hand to reveal a ton of spicy food and my favorite meat buns. "A lot of spicy food you've got here..." Kacchan explodes, "Well, what the he'll else would I bring, dumbass! Take your damn meat buns." I've never really been one for spicy food, but it's pretty much the only thing the two of them 5 I compromise. "Thank you! Y/n should be here in a bit." I say, grabbing the bag. "The hell's wrong with you?" I let out a sigh. "It's nothing, Katsuki." A blonde eyebrow cocks up in disbelief. "As if I'd believe that, you never say my name out of nowhere." There's a few beats of silence before I muster up enough courage to answer.

"I'm just worried about Y/n. She needs my help, but I can't give it to her because she keeps refusing and saying that she's okay when we know damn well that she's not. I have to talk to her mom or something. I just want her to be okay." I say, looking down as I start to tear up. "You better not start crying, you dumbass. She'll be fine, I already went with the old hag to Y/n's house to beat some sense into her mom." He said, smirking. "Besides, I refused to keep training all those extra hours with her when I went. She'll be okay. We just need to comfort her and help her recover. She's one of my best friends and your girlfriend, as long as we're here, she's gonna be fine, Deku." He says. Relief flows through my body. He's right, I know he is. "I guess you're right. Thanks, Kacchan." I say. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll be right back." He says. Soon after he left, there's another knock on the door. I walk over and open it to see Y/n on the other side, with her head low. "Hey, Babe. You doing okay?" I say, grabbing her wrist lightly and pulling her inside before closing the door behind her.

"Izuku." she sniffles out. "Hun, what's wrong?" I gently take her chin between my fingers and delicately lift it up to see fat, salty tears rolling freely down her stained face. Oh no. I pull her body towards mine, firm hand circling around her waist and the other cradling her head, trapping her into a tight embrace against my chest. "I can't do it anymore. My mom is pushing me so hard to the point where I can barely walk or do easy every day things..." A sob cuts her off before she continues. She forces her eyes to meet mine when she starts again. " I've so stressed lately too, I feel like nothing I do is ever enough for anyone! I keep pushing, I always tell myself to keep going and not buckle when i start to struggle, and yet there isn't any end to it. Each time I think I get somewhere there's always something or someone saying that everything I did to get here was futile. And now with all of the villian attacks that have been popping up randomly... I don't know what to do anymore Izu." The small pout that formed over my lips a little bit ago turns into a deep frown. Hearing exactly what was on her mind is both comforting and frightening at the same time, but her behavior the last few months is starting to make a lot more sense. Constantly improving her hero costume and trying to create new special attacks... I thought kacchan was rubbing off on her when her drive to be the best shot through the roof. I'm knocked out of my thoughts when she starts to weep harder. The gentle circles i've been tracing into her back this whole time doesn't seem to be making any sort of difference either. I place a few pecks all over her face before planting one to the crown of her head and whispering sweet-nothings to her. While I was still in the process of calming down, Kacchan's eyes look at Y/n, then lock with mine before quietly closing the door behind him, then sits on the beanbag next to the fort.

I fell her arms snake up my sides and take purchase around my neck before nuzzling into it. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I wish you would have told me sooner. I knew there was something wrong but I didn't know what... thank you for trusting me enough to let me know, I appreciate it." I say into her ear softly. Kacchan isn't really one for mushy sentiment. " It's okay, I just didn't want to burden you in any way. There's um, something else i need to say too." She says. I hum in response. " So, my mom won't let me back into the house, and since we graduate in a few weeks i was wondering if... we could move in together? I figured it would help the both of us if we worked and lived with each other." She mumbles out. Living together would be pleasing. Being able to wake up to her face everyday and not having to sneak in and out of each others dorms. I always wanted to stay with her permanently, and I know that she would be a good roommate because she practically lives in my dorm anyway. We have a stable relationship too so why not? "Sure, I don't mind. All Might is helping me find different hero agencies to start with, so by the time we graduate it'll be easy to get a spot with a pro. You can even work with me if you want." I say with a warm smile. "Okay. Thank you." She pulls away and looks to the side to see Katsuki and the Blanket fort that I made for the three of us. She throws a superstitious glare towards him. "Just how long have you been listening in? Damn creep." Kacchan's eyebrow twitches at her words before standing up and grabbing her by the collar. "Oh, shut up! I just walked in here and tried to give you space, the hell would I get out of stalking you, dumbass?" As happy I am to see her back in good spirits, stopping them from killing the other may be a good idea. I separate them then move her attention towards the fort I made.

"Izuku... did you do this?" She questions. "Yup! Kacchan even brought us some snacks to munch on." She snorts, 'You actually brought something baku-rat?" A smirk taking over her features. "I told to stop calling me that, dumbass!" He yells. " Yes, surprisingly. Come on, let's get inside and watch a movie." I say. She turns back towards me and gives me a soft kiss then ruffles a hand through Kacchan's hair. "Thanks you guys. I really needed it. Even though Katsuki is being annoying, i appreciate it." She says. Once we get settled and comfortable inside the fort, she snuggles up into my side and whispers, "I love you, broccoli boy. Thank you for everything."

[nnothingnesss]

Serendipity (Short Story)

Alexie visits a club with her friend Sara. A night of anxiety spirals into a very silent car ride home.

"Lex, you came out of hiding," her aura flushes over me like a blush in my cheeks. "You want to hang out in my room for a little bit? We can do our thing alone before we go out,"

"Yes please" I say.

As we work our way to her bedroom we pass the living room first and then the kitchen. I see Mr. Mueller sitting on a sofa with a newspaper splayed out over his lap. Oldies are filling the room with positive vibrations.

"Nice to see ya 'gain hon'"

"Hey Mr. Mueller," I say excitedly. He's always been what I thought a father should be.

We make our way into her room and she locks the door behind us. She has no idea how badly I freaked out earlier.

"I'm actually kind of surprised you wanted to come Lex," she says

"Honestly I came just to hang out with you," I respond

"You know I love you but it's okay if you don't want to go you know?"

"It's okay, I promise I'm fine,"

"No Lex, I'm so serious, it's okay to not be fine" you can tell she cares the way she looks into my eyes.

"Yeah actually... I'm not fine," As soon as the words leave my mouth she wraps her arms around me and holds me for a second. I didn't expect it.

"I hope you know if anything happens I'm here for you,"

"I know"

I take a quick glance around her room before plopping down on her mattress. I wish we could hang out here forever. New people scare me but I'm not going to tell her that. As I look at the crystals on her dresser she rummages through her makeup box for lip gloss.

"Where are we going anyway?" I ask.

"I convinced them all we should go to Serendipity,"

"Oh they play really good music,"

"I hope you know I had to force them into it. Now you at least get to boogie if they bore you to death,"

"Ugh, thank you. So, who's they?"

"Well Mimi and I used to serve at The Jewel. I've never met her boyfriend but she wouldn't shut up about him so she dragged him along"

"That's nice" I say. Sara freezes to turn around and look at me.

"She said he managed to convince some of his friends to come along too"

"Yay" My tone is flat.

"Lexie if any of those boys piss you off you better come find me"

"Okay I promise" She acts just like a mom sometimes. She finally finds the shade of lip gloss she wants to use and covers her lips with it before giving a good pucker in front of the mirror. She walks over to her closet and bends over to grab her favorite pair of shoes. Dr. Martens. She slips them on and tightens her laces before collecting her essentials. Purse, keys, and even a heart shaped taser to ward off the unholy clubgoer.

"You ready?" she asks quietly. She can probably feel my anxiety from a planet away.

"No," I tell her but I get up and follow her anyways. Meeting new people always puts me on edge but I know she'll have my back if anything happens. She smiles before telling me to stay close to her if I need to. I nod and we begin to make our way through the living room. She kisses Mr. Mueller on the cheek and tells him she'll be back pretty late. We lock the door behind us and the mood suddenly shifts south for me.

It won't be so bad I tell myself. I want to believe I could have a good night and that Mimi and her friends are good people. She seems so excited to finally get her weekend started but I can feel a nervousness take shelter at the bottom of my stomach.

I try my best to keep it under control because I don't want Sara to worry about me all night. We manage to find some street parking in front of the club. It says Serendipity in a bright neon yellow sign pinned against a slate grey wall. As we wait in line keeping our eyes out for her friends you can hear the loud music sending shockwaves through the ground. The chatter is loud and you can see the combination of excitement, dread, and a mix of other emotions on each individual face that makes up the crowd.

People walk in and out in a drunken stupor some having a good night and others, not so good. As we're standing in line we hear a voice call out to us from behind.

"Sara is that you?" a short woman runs toward us. It's Mimi and her boyfriend plus his friends Sara mentioned. Two other guys. My heart sinks just a little deeper.

"Mimi! No way!" they embrace with a warm hug as the guys walk up behind her.

"It's been too long. I missed you so much." She let's go and takes a good look at Sara, "Please come back."

"I missed you too babe. I'll buy your freedom one day, I promise."

"Oh my god, you're making me so nervous. But wait, let me introduce you first. This is Isaiah and behind him is Jay and Huey. Huey's a cook at The Jewel now."

"What's goin' on y'all?" says Isaiah.

"Hey you guys, I'm Sara and this is my bestie," she introduces me and for a second everyone's attention is on me.

"Hi I'm Alexie,"

The line begins moving again and the boys taper behind us as Mimi, Sara, and I stand close together.

"I can't believe it's been so long everyone is like gone now" Mimi says.

"Is everyone really gone? That's so sad,"

"Yeah it's really just me now honestly. Huey's cool though,"

"I mean he is kind of cute too. What do you think Lex? Boyfriend material?"

"Uh-uh, no way, I'm not interested,"

"Don't like players?" Mimi chimes in, "I personally wouldn't either though, he has his moments."

"It's not that, it's just a guy isn't really in the cards as of right now,"

"But wait he's a player?" Sara asks.

"Well, he's just super friendly with all of the girls at work. Like, all of them."

"I mean he hasn't been sleeping around though has he?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I rather keep that stuff and work separate y'know? He's really funny though. They're cool people."

"If you don't want him Lex I just might be laughing at his jokes tonight," Sara winks at me and I roll my eyes back with a smile.

"Trust me, he's all yours,"

As we get closer to the front I dig into my tote and pull out my wallet. I show my ID and the bouncer gives it a rapid glance over before handing it back and ushering me in. I wait patiently for the rest of my group to pass security so we can take our first step into Serendipity together.

My anxiety begins quieting down a little as I hear the music getting louder and louder. It's healing. The further in we go past the coat check corridor the darker the room becomes.

You can feel the energy as soon as you walk in. Serendipity is in full swing. LED's shoot out the wall like lasers onto people's bodies reaching out to the far end of the club. The floor is shaking as the speakers are slipping sonic anodyne into my soul.

It's comforting knowing I can escape to the dance floor and hide behind the music at any time now. The combination of the sonics and ambience feels like entering Shangri-La. All my worries on Earth will just have to wait until I get back.

We manage to find a spot at the menacingly packed bar. Isaiah and Mimi go together to get drinks on the other side while me and Sara stood beside each other with Huey beside me and Jay beside him.

"Can I get a tequila sunrise please?" I wave at the nearest bartender.

"Cash or card?'' they're swamped by a riot of clubgoers. I hand her my card and she opens a tab for me. Once we all have our drinks in hand well all get together in a circle. Mimi suggests we have a toast.

"To the ups and downs. We'll be alright!" We all put our glasses in the air and our drinks illuminate under the sea of lights. Clink.

I make sure to drink as fast as I can so I can get as drunk as possible ASAP. Huey looks at me probably shocked to see me drinking so fast. Me and Sara almost race to the bottom of our cups before we go back to the bartender for seconds together.

"Feeling better?" she shouts at me through the music.

"A lot better!" I genuinely let out a laugh. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad.

As Mimi and Isaiah hit the dance floor me and Sara look at Jay and Huey. They're standing at the bar together ordering their seconds now too. We decide to hit the dance floor just the two of us and chug the rest of our seconds. We're really making those boys look bad right now, I thought.

On the floor I can feel my hips lose control moving like they belonged on a swing at a park. Sara looked so beautiful dancing it almost made me sweat. She was as hot as a mirage kissing the water in the summertime. She wore a black leather bustier to match her black skirt.

We laughed and lost ourselves to the heat of 2000s music as we put our hands all over each other dancing underneath the lights as lovers do. I could feel the intensity of the bass vibrate the room. Time began to blur and as the night went on the passion hit a fever pitch, I wasn't here anymore. I was in Heaven. Sara decided she needed a break. Out the corner of my eye I saw Jay approach her as she walked off the floor and I continued dancing. This was my element. This was my place.

Later into the night I notice Sara and Jay disappeared but I didn't mind it. I felt a sudden pang of anxiety rush back into my body as I realized I was on the floor alone surrounded by unfamiliar faces.

It made me dance harder. I wanted to forget everything. I never wanted to go back home. I danced and danced thinking about how I felt abandoned. I relished in it. Laughed at it. I close my eyes and enter hypnosis to lose myself in the music until I'm abruptly brought back to reality as I feel someone come up behind me. It was Huey.

"You look good," he said. Immediately I remember what Mimi said but I try to play it cool.

"Hey, I didn't see you," I say

"Yeah but I've been watching you, you're smoking on the floor right now"

"You think so?"

"I do."

He puts his hands on my hip and pulls closer to me. He just looks into my face without saying anything. His hands feel kind of good on my body so I don't say anything either. I know that Mimi said he's a player but he didn't seem like a bad guy.

We didn't dance for a whole minute before he tried to lean in and press his cheek on me and immediately the illusion broke. I didn't even know this guy and he only said about four lines to me and now he's trying to push it. Instead of slowing down he dropped his arms lower around me and looked even deeper into my eyes. This time his eyes looked hungry. I immediately felt sober. He was a tall guy and his grip felt too strong for me to fight back.

"Dude what the hell?" I push him off of me and start walking off the dance floor to find Sara.

I look around and all I see are strangers. Through a crowd of people dancing I see Huey coming out towards me and my first instinct is to run to the bathroom. I make a run for it and lock myself inside.

First a moment of stillness. A quiet self-awareness. I feel the weight of life slowly creep back into my bones as I stare hypnotically at the bathroom wall. It feels though the black paint is staring back at me as if to ask, what's wrong? Aren't you happy? Weren't you having fun? Did you forget? I was trying so hard to. I do that sometimes.

I'm afraid of the thought of going back out and seeing Huey again and I'm afraid to tell Sara what she already knows. I'm not fine. All I can do is sit here, curled up in a ball on the toilet, angry at the world for allowing my life to turn out like this. It wasn't always so bad.

I remember me and Sara would hang out all the time with the other kids from my neighborhood and I used to be so social back then. I used to love talking to people and getting to know everything about them. I loved the thought of being a light in peoples lives and spreading empathy as far as my own wingspan would let me.

But I realized if you get too comfortable in the wrong places you'll get hurt. Mom taught me that.

I let my guard down for a second. A moment of weakness. I tell myself never again. Flashes of my life go off in my mind like explosives. I didn't want to leave this bathroom.

I'm not even sure how much time passes by before I'm startled by a loud banging on the door. I don't want to answer. I get up to look at myself in the mirror. The same fair skin and dark hair. My eyes look so sad. I'm so sad. Another knock on the door but this time louder.

"Lex, please open up. It's me." It's Sara's voice. I know Sara would do anything for me. I know even if she saw me like this she'd have so much love to give. I know I need it. But I don't open the door. I don't want her to see me like this. It's so embarrassing.

"Lex, please." Her voice becomes a thoughtful plea. She knows. When I shut down even I don't know. I don't know what I'd do. I decide I need to face the outside world yet again before things get even worse. I open the door. The first thing I'm met with is Sara's eyes. She looks so damn worried.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey,"

"You okay? Huey said-"

"I'm fine."

"Lex, it's-"

"Can we go home? Please?" I don't mean to be so cold. I can see my sadness almost transfer onto her. She tries to hug me again but I back up. I'm so afraid and for no reason. It's almost as if I'm not even me anymore.

"Ok Lex. Let's go home."

We walk together outside Serendipity and in the front there's Mimi and the rest of them. Huey won't even look at me. I'm sure he feels bad about what he did and it's not that I hate him or anything. It's just I was having a really good time before he came and shook me out of it. I got too comfortable and he reminded me of that.

"Are you two okay? What happened?" Asks Mimi,

"Sorry Mimi but I think it's time to call it a night. We're not feeling too hot so I'm going to take Lex back home and go get some rest. I'll call you okay?"

"I'm so sorry. Was it..." Mimi gives Sara a look as if she's telepathically finishing her sentence. Sara sends back a reply with an expression of defeat.

"Call me," Mimi's voice fades into the distance as we return to the car and begin our drive home.

The car ride is silent. I can't take my eyes away from the window as I stare at the city skyscrapers as we pass them by. The buildings pass one by one and my eyes follow them until they're completely out of view.

I look at Sara and she stares at the road with this intensity I only ever rarely see on her face. The only time I ever seen her cry was when she caught one of her long term boyfriends cheating on her with some random girl from her job. They all worked together and even if Mimi never knew it that's the whole reason she quit. Every other time she got upset, she looked exactly the same as she does now.

"I'm sorry, Sara. I didn't mean to kill the night like that."

"Lex you didn't kill the night. It's okay to make sure you're okay first. Nothing is wrong with that."

"I know," She has so much more she wants to says but I can tell she doesn't want to. I don't blame her. I'm fragile sometimes.

"I'm guessing you didn't like Huey as much as he liked you?" She asks

"What do you mean?"

"He saw you dancing. He told Jay he thought you looked really good, he just didn't know what to say."

"Really?"

"I'm so serious. I told him he should go dance with you. I told him you thought he was really cute. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Sara. He kind of was. I just.. I don't know."

"Lex. Can I ask you a question?"

"Hm?"

"How come you won't tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Anything." I never seen her look so serious before.

"I tell you everything Sara, what are you talking about?"

"It's just that, ever since your Mom left you haven't really told me anything. Not about life at home, your dad, about yourself. You either tell me you're fine or you're not fine. Do you not trust me? I just want to be there for you. I have so much love I want to give and," she stops herself. I can tell she's felt this way for a long time.

"It's just that I miss you."

I don't even know what to say. I sit and say nothing for a while. She's right. A deep hole in my heart begins opening. The thoughts slowly come in one by one. My father. My mother. What happened?

"Sara. I love you. It's not that I don't trust you okay? It's just complicated."

"I want to know how complicated it is Lex. You always caught me on my worst days, every time. I just want to do the same for you."

"You do, Sara. Please. Can we just talk about it later?"

"Okay."

The silence fills the car again like smoke would a room. We arrive back at my house and I grab my stuff off the floor. Me and Sara hug tightly and for what feels like longer than usual.

I don't think she realized it but I needed that. She was the only comfort in my life and I'd do anything I could to be with her. I watch her drive off and turn around to face my house. It's a very pretty cage.

[squidbrain]

All I've Ever Wanted

A Captain Rex x Oc fan creation!

The Clone Wars changed everything. Danger was seeping into even the safest of places. A peaceful planet finds itself wrapped up in a political uproar that endangers the royal family. The Jedi Council assigns the 501st to assist establishing a Clone presence on Ziphus. Their Captain takes on the task of protecting Ziphus’ Archduchess, a young diplomat named Sarela, but she proves to be quite a handful for the stoic soldier!

18+ only! Later chapters will have mature themes and explicit writing!

Chapter Five: A Princess’s Perspective

Sarela tries to ease her burden with a new perspective ahead of a very important meeting.

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Waiting had never been a favorite pastime.

Sarela paced in her office, heels clicking on the wooden floor, waiting for word from her friend. She was trying to read trade reports that her uncle had sent, but she was far too anxious to focus.

Sarela had called her father about the matter and informed him exactly what was going on. Orys had gone out to speak with Grandduke Kelan, leaving Sarela alone with Rex. He didn’t seem the type to care much for trade reports, so she couldn’t even read aloud to distract herself.

She crossed the floor again and again, gripping her datapad tightly with both hands.

“You keep pacing and you’re gonna wear a hole in the floor,” Rex said gently.

Sarela huffed and stopped dead in her tracks. “I’m anxious!”

“I can see that,” he replied.

She walked across to the sofa and dropped dramatically onto it. She flopped backwards and laid across the cushions. “What would you do if you were in my position?”

Rex looked at her from his place next to the door. “What do you mean?”

She looked back at him. “You’re a princess-,”

“A princess, am I?”

“Gosh! Prince! Let me finish!” she huffed.

He chuckled softly.

“You’re a prince and Dooku approaches your planet. Asks you to leave the Republic,” she continued.

“I said no the second he appeared,” Rex answered.

“Oh, of course!” she said. “But now you face your people. They are anxious. Scared. You tell them you’re bringing an armed force to their planet. Much larger and more heavily armed than their own army. Life for them was peaceful and felt removed from the conflict. Now they’ll see echoes of it every day.”

“That’s war,” he said.

“Yes, but how do you tell them that?”

“Exactly like that. That’s war,” he said.

Rex came closer to her and sighed. “Do I have your permission to speak freely?”

Sarela sat up and looked at him. She motioned to the chair across from her. “Please do, Captain.”

Rex sat down and took his helmet off. He set it down on the table between them and leaned forward.

“Listen, your planet is pretty. All of your people are so put together and fancy. But war? It’s real ugly. They’re worried about a bunch of guys in armor? I got news for them, the droids are a hell of a lot uglier than we are. And what they’ll do to this pretty planet is ugly. So here’s what you say; War is ugly, but it’s here. It came to this pretty planet and it’s making things ugly. That’s war. The planet will stay safe under the clone army’s care. Carry on and quit whining about some minor inconveniences.”

Sarela took in his words slowly. She nodded and looked down at her lap where her datapad lay. “I suppose I am a bit soft spoken. Maybe your harsh approach will help them see reason.”

“I could be harsher, honestly, but it's a start,” he replied.

Sarela looked back at him. “Say it. I’m curious.”

He leaned back in his chair and looked at her. He shrugged. “They’re bitching about inconvenience, but it sure as shit a real inconvenience to be created and sent to war and have no other purpose but to die to keep them safe. But you don’t hear us bitching.”

Quite harsh! Sarela’s stomach sank. His coarse language wasn’t lost on her and while it normally would make her cringe, his message hit her harder. She looked away from him. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“No one does,” Rex said.

Sarela sat back on the sofa. She crossed her legs and sat up straight, fully facing him. “Captain Rex, please tell me what being in the army is like.”

He breathed a laugh. “You really wanna know?”

She nodded. “Yes. I really want to know. I think it will help my perspective.”

Rex looked at her for a moment, head cocked slightly. “Well, I suppose I could. If it’s not too bold to say, you seem like the kind of girl who doesn’t get out much.”

“The last senate session was the first time I ever went beyond our moon,” she replied. “So you are correct.”

Rex raised a brow. “You’ve never been anywhere else?”

She shook her head. “Never. And Coruscant was quite a shock! So busy and cluttered. The fashions, the people. It was a lot to take in.”

“You seem to have survived,” he said.

She smiled. “I did alright. I learned a lot. Made friends. But regardless, I have one perspective of the galaxy. A princess’s perspective. It’s hardly worth anything.”

“You study politics, so you’re not a total loss,” he teased.

She giggled softly. “At least there’s that.”

He smiled at her. Sarela stared at his smile. It was charming. She’d seen dozens of clones before, but there was something about Rex that was just different.

“You know,” she started, “Before I went to finishing school, I never left the palace. I never even spoke to an outsider until I was twelve.”

Rex crossed his arms and shook his head. “Sheltered does not even begin to describe you.”

“No, it does not. So, please, lift the veil, Captain. Tell me how ugly it is to do what you do,” she said.

Rex smiled. “If you insist.”

The pair of them talked for some time. About his creation, his youth, his training. Some of the things he’d seen were too horrible to recount, despite her insistence. He was gentle with her. She had the feeling he wasn’t pulling back the curtain all the way. Just enough so she could see something beyond her pretty little life. Something more real than her entire existence.

Sarela was royalty. Heir to a kingdom. She was born into her life and raised from the moment she was born to be a ruler. Her life was so carefully curated by her father and her advisors. Orys had been brought in to work with her from the time she started studying politics. He’d guided her, taught her. She was his pupil in every way. But when did she stop being a pupil and start being a puppet?

She would never think that Orys had ill intentions in any way. He was a good man, but he was firm when he guided her to the decisions she made. He wasn’t pushing an agenda, just ensuring that she wouldn’t take a misstep. He guided her words, her appointments, her interactions. He held a string attached to her.

Zena held another. She guided her household. She was careful about who Sarela interacted with socially. Shooed away girls that she thought may not be a good influence on her. Her tea dates, garden walks, salon gatherings were all carefully curated by Zena. All to ensure Sarela did not misstep socially.

Her parents held two more strings. Her father held the thickest one. His guidance ensured Sarela would be ready to rule in his absence. He wanted her to be a strong and kind Empress. He wanted what was best for his people and preparing the throne for his death likely weighed heavily on his mind. His firm hand guided Sarela toward a strong future.

Her mother guided her in love. Sarela had never been in love, of course, but she had been presented with a handful of suitors. She courted one of them, but he wasn’t interested in her. Pushed at her by his family, so she kindly broke the courtship and let him go gently. Her mother worked hard to cover the affair with flowery language to avoid scandal. Thena was already pushing Sarela toward a new beau. She wanted to ensure Sarela was cared for like she was, but also to ensure she fulfilled her duty; birthing an heir.

So many people held strings attached to her arms, her heart, her mouth. Rex didn’t talk to her like that. He was gentle and careful with his words, but he wasn’t fully sheltering her. He was lifting the veil slowly.

When the door opened Sarela finally looked away from Rex. She had been staring so intently while he spoke. She blinked to adjust her vision and watched Orys approach. He handed her a caf drink and showed her his datapad.

“Your Highness, I messaged you three times,” he said. “Princess Lili responded. Is everything alright?”

Rex stood and went back to his place at the door. She watched him put his helmet back on and resume being what he was born to be; a soldier.

Sarela blinked and looked down at her own datapad. She gasped and snatched it up. She had been so enthralled by Rex’s words that she hadn’t realized any messages had come through. She opened Lili’s message and read it aloud.

“Archduchess, it’s an honor to be invited to talk about this most important issue. It is my understanding that Finis used a harsh tone and let his temper rule your meeting. That was not the intention of the Apran house and I wish to rectify it immediately. I will join you at the requested time,” she said.

She was relieved! She let out a little breath.

“Progress,” Orys said, sitting down.

“Indeed,” she said. She sipped her caf and sighed softly. “I needed this.”

“I figured you would,” Orys said, smirking.

Sarela opened the trade reports again and sipped her caf while she read them again.

“Kelan says the Horne clan wants to increase their trade agreement,” Sarela said.

“The Mandalorians?” Orys looked down at the reports. “What do they want?”

“More tea and they want wool. They’re willing to bring in more metal works,” she answered.

“I don’t see why not,” Orys said. “So long as they make good on their end.”

Sarela nodded in agreement.

Clan Horne had come to the planet years ago. A lone band of Mandalorians, they were looking to make small trade agreements. They needed supplies and they offered intricate metal works made by the clan leader’s sons and grandsons. Sarela owned several pieces of jewelry made by their silversmith. She saw no reason to deny the clan and hoped Kelan would grant their request.

Sarela’s nerves were still prickled, but she was a little more at ease than before. She found herself glancing at Rex often. He had truly helped open her eyes, even just a little.

She hoped she could have more interactions with Rex. He seemed like a genuinely nice person. Perhaps rigid, but he was a soldier. She wondered how he was when he truly relaxed and let loose.

The intercom on her desk suddenly beeped and pulled Sarela from her thoughts. She hurried over to answer.

The desk attendant’s voice came through. “Your Highness, Grandduke Kelan is here to see you.”

“Send him up at once,” she replied.

Orys looked at her as she sat back down. “Good timing. We can talk trade.”

“I have a feeling he’s here to talk drama,” Sarela said.

Orys hummed and sipped his caf.

Kelan entered the room moments later and they paid respect to one another. Orys bowed to him and waited until he was told to resume sitting. Kelan sat down on the chair next to Orys and smiled.

“How are you this morning, sprout?” he asked Sarela.

Kelan was a few years younger than her father. He had the same dark hair and eyes, the same looks. He was a kind man and a wonderful teacher.

Sarela shifted in her seat and sighed softly. “I’ve been better, uncle.”

He nodded slowly. “I would imagine.”

Kelan shifted in his own seat and rested his ankle on his opposite knee. He crossed his arms and slouched. An absolute vision of a carefree prince, though his cares were great.

“I heard what happened. Your mother came to me,” he said. “I’m sorry. It should not have happened and I have addressed Alara’s behavior.”

“Addressed, sure, but will you control her?” Orys asked.

“Control Alara? My good man, the strongest willed man in the galaxy couldn't control her,” he laughed.

“This is no laughing matter, your Grace,” Orys said.

Kelan shook his head. “It’s not, no. Forgive me. Sprout, I can send her to the country if you’d like. Get her away from the palace for a time.”

Sarela considered, but she shook her head. “She’ll just hate me more. Besides, I cannot sanction her expulsion. It’s my father’s court. He’ll decide what her punishment will be. Though, I wouldn’t mind being away from her.”

Kelan nodded. “I’ll speak to Zena. We’ll rearrange your house.”

Sarela nodded and sipped her caf. “And Miri?”

“I can move her away. If you want,” he answered.

Sarela thought of her cousin. Miri was a spineless little thing. Always doing what her mother told her to do. She worried that Alara would tell Miri to sabotage her from within while Alara was away. Sarela sighed.

“Don’t move her just yet,” she said.

“Your Highness, it may not be wise to leave Miri in your house,” Orys said.

“I’ll talk to her,” Kelan said. “Miri fears her mother, but I can reason with her. Make sure she behaves.”

Sarela nodded. “Please do, but know that I will not hesitate to dismiss her if I sense she’s carrying on her mother’s behavior.”

Kelan nodded. “I understand.”

Sarela picked up her datapad and looked down at the trade reports Kelan had sent her. “Let’s talk trade, uncle. Put this ugly business behind us.”

He smiled. “I agree.”

Kelan explained the new trade agreements to Sarela in great detail. There were many, but she did her best to focus and understand what she was being told.

Again, she found herself glancing at Rex. He was still against the wall by the door. He shifted on occasion, but didn’t really move much. She was eager to talk one on one again, but her duties that day would keep her quite busy, she was sure.

Kelan had a lot to explain to her. Some of their trade treaties were on unstable ground. Especially now that the Separatists had shown up. He was expecting calls any day from worried parties scared they wouldn’t get the goods they were promised.

This put more pressure on Sarela’s shoulders. She needed to push Apra into allowing a clone occupation. She needed to be firm with her people that were starting to make noise about the clone soldiers being present in their districts. She needed to make sure Ziphus continued to stand and function as it had for hundreds of years. She wasn’t about to let her planet fall.

Sometime just after a light lunch, the desk attendant called again. Sarela crossed to answer the call.

“Your Highness, Princess Lili and her brothers have arrived to see you,” she said.

Sarela’s gut twisted. She looked at Orys and Kelan and took a steady breath. “Send them up at once.”

She paced a few steps. Her hands were trembling.

“Calm down, sprout. It’ll be alright,” Kelan said.

Orys hurried to open the door and welcome in the Apran royals.

Lili came into the room slowly and offered her friend a warm smile. Lily was an exact copy of her mother and she had the same warmth and charm. Trailing in behind her came her twin brothers. Finis scowled. The royals paid one another respect and Sarela offered the sofa to the three.

The Apran siblings sat down together, Lili in the middle. Sarela sat down across from them.

“I will leave you to your business, Highness. Your royal highnesses, it was a pleasure to see you again,” Kelan said, bowing to them again.

After Kelan left, Orys ushered Captain Rex out of the room with him and he closed the door behind them.

Sarela smiled at the three, but her nerves were prickling.

“Dearest, I want to start this meeting with an apology,” Lili said softly.

“Oh, no. Please. That’s not necessary,” Sarela said.

“Of course it is!” Lili laughed. She looked at Finis. “Apologize to her. Immediately.”

Finis looked back at his sister and raised a brow. He was quiet for a tense moment and the air seemed to grow thick around them. Finally he turned his eyes to Sarela and nodded his head.

“Please accept my apology, Highness,” he said.

Sarela hesitated, but she nodded. “I accept, Finis. Thank you.”

Lili smiled and her feather ruffled up. “There! Friends again, yes?”

“She insulted us,” Finis growled.

“She spoke from inexperience and worry. Accidental insults are common in such times. I will set everything straight,” Lili said.

Sarela shifted uncomfortably.

“Lili, I never meant to imply that I did not care for your people,” she said.

“Of course not. And we know that,” she said. 

Sarela knew there was a but coming.

“But,” she started, “Finis is right. We cannot accept a clone occupation of Apra.”

Sarela sighed. “Lili. You must.”

“Do you know how the Seer’s power works?” Lili asked.

“I do not,” Sarela answered.

“The Oracle grants us power from his blood. The red river is where it comes from. The Oracle is in the moon, do you understand?” Lili said.

Sarela nodded slowly. “I think so.”

“Every baby born on Apra is dipped into the waters to receive power. Some receive a lot, some a little, some none at all,” she said. “The Seer is endowed with great power. It comes from deep in the center of the moon. From the Oracle.”

Sarela nodded slowly.

“The Seer senses every living being on the moon. Every citizen of Apra can be felt by the Seer. You were felt the moment you arrived all those years ago,” she said. “If the clones occupy Apra, the Seer will sense them. So many men with the same destiny, so much death tied to their existence. It will confuse the Seer. The Oracle will become angry.”

Sarela sighed. This was quite a predicament.

“There must be a way to compromise,” she said.

Lili shook her head. “There is nothing to compromise. We will not accept a clone occupation.”

Sarela checked the time. They were due for the meeting soon. “Will you still come to the palace? To hear the Jedi?”

Lili made a face. Disgust at the word ‘Jedi’. Sarela had forgotten about the Aprans’ dislike of the Order.

Her face softened, though, and she nodded. “Yes, I will attend. Because you asked me.”

Sarela smiled. “Thank you, Lili.”

Sarela stood and gathered her files and her datapad. She pinned her hat back on and picked up her things.

The Aprans rose and stretched their wings. Lili smiled at Sarela. “We’ll ride just behind you, then?”

Sarela nodded. “Yes, that will be ideal. Are you alright with the clones escorting us? I have quite the entourage now.”

“Of course! We have nothing against the clone army,” Lili said. “Isn’t that right, Finis?”

Finis only grumbled in response. Sarela sensed a lot of tension between the siblings and she wondered if it was caused only by the current situation or if something else happened. Still, that was a mystery for another time.

Sarela was escorted from the building by Rex, Orys close at her heels. Sion had been waiting outside with his advisor and climbed into his speeder when he saw the party approach. The Aprans were safely escorted to their own vehicle and the party was off.

Their arrival at the palace was met with heavy clone guards. Many more than when she’d left. Sarela hoped Finis would keep himself in check. Though she was absolutely sure if he had no self control, then Lili would certainly control his temper.

Sarela climbed out of her speeder and held her files tightly. She was nervous. She wanted this meeting to go well. She hoped with all her might that the Jedi had a solution to the issue with Apra. She felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at the thought of pressing the occupation on them.

She had always held Lili’s friendship and she knew that pressing against her wishes would destroy that relationship. She would anger the Apran Queen, Lili’s dear mother. Queen Cora had been friends with her father for as long as she could remember. She would never want that friendship to be ruined.

A hand on her back almost startled her. She looked to her right and saw Rex at her side.

“You alright?” he asked.

She nodded stiffly.

“You’re white knuckling that datapad,” he said. “You sure you’re okay?”

She frowned and relaxed her grip. “I’m nervous.”

“Nothing to be nervous about. It’ll all work out,” he said.

“Are you so sure?” she asked.

“We always find a way to cohabitat a place and keep it safe. It’ll be alright,” he said softly.

Sarela forced a small smile. He was so comforting to her. It would be a sad day when he was finally recalled to more important duties.

The party traversed the halls of Sarela’s home until they came upon a set of ornately carved double doors. The guards at the doors immediately reached for the handles and opened the doors for Sarela and her guests.

Her father’s meeting room was quite cozy compared to many other rooms in the grand palace. It was still quite large, of course, and just as fancy and heavily decorated. Dark brown paneled walls with intricate carvings twisting up the wood from floor to ceiling. The white plaster ceiling held several gold chandeliers and crown molding stippled with gold leaf to catch the light. There was a large rectangular table in the center of the room with a set of matching plush chairs around it. Sarela had fond memories of hiding under the table while her father conducted business. Just to be near him.

Sarela curtsied deeply to her father, who smiled and welcomed her into the room.

He was standing by the window with their guests. A pair of Jedi and two clone soldiers. Master Skywalker and Padawan Tano were also present and talking quietly. Edric spoke to his clone escort by the window on the other side of the fireplace. Her mother and Helene stood with her father. He beckoned her closer.

“Cherub, may I introduce Master Jedi Torin Ornil and his Padawan Zyrah Mai,” he said. “And their clone Commander Rila and his Captain, Bren.”

Sarela curtsied to them and smiled. “A pleasure, truly.”

The pair bowed and Master Ornil smiled. The large Cathar Jedi was quite a sight! “Your Highness. We’ve heard much about you from your father and here you are, a vision in pink.”

“She never wears any other color,” her father laughed.

Sarela laughed softly. “Pink is my signature color!”

Master Ornil looked behind Sarela. She sensed his curiosity at the Aprans and she turned.

“May I present Crown Princess Lili of Apra and her twin brothers Princes Finis and Arel,” she said.

The Aprans paid their respect to the Ziphan royal family and then to the Jedi. Though that respect was tense, to say the least.

“A pleasure, your Highnesses,” Master Ornil said.

“We feel the same,” Lili said.

“Come!” her father said. “Sit and let us discuss this business at hand.”

“Your Majesty, Helene and I will take our leave now,” her mother said, curtsying to him.

“Of course, my love,” he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. He smiled at Helene. “Sure you don’t want to stay? For the politics?”

Helene made a face. “Yuck, no thank you.” She smirked.

He laughed and kissed her cheek. “Off you go, angel.”

The two ladies left the room, leaving the group to their business.

Tam took his place at the head of the table. Sarela sat to his right and Sion on his left. Edric was seated next to Sarela. The Jedi took up the spaces next to Sion and the princes next to Edric. Lili said opposite Tam. As the highest ranking noble from Apra, it was only right. Orys stood behind Sarela’s chair, just to the right. Nej stood behind her father’s chair. Sion’s advisor, his husband Lorn, stood behind him.

“First, allow me to ask how the base is coming along?” her father asked.

Master Ornil folded his hands on the table. “Quite well! We should be finished in a few weeks, I imagine. We have a larger team with us, so the construction should be quick.”

“Fantastic,” her father said.

“Our troops are mapping the planet as we speak. Looking for the best places for small outposts and such. Commander Rila will construct a schedule for guard duty and divide troops up once he has this information in hand,” Master Ornil explained.

“Excellent! How is that coming, Commander?” he asked.

“We’re right on schedule, your Majesty. Your own security force is assisting and being quite helpful,” Commander Rila said.

“Good news all around!” her father said.

Sarela glanced down at Lili. “For us, absolutely, but we have a matter to discuss concerning Apra.”

Her father nodded. “Of course. Your Highness, I am told you will not allow a clone occupation on Apra. Can you tell me why?”

Lili shifted in her seat and glanced at the soldiers standing behind the Jedi. “The presence of so many men will confuse the Seer. Her power will be overwhelmed and she will not be able to accept visions from the Oracle. He will become angry.”

Her father nodded.

Master Ornil cleared his throat gently. “Would your Seer be willing to try?”

Finis shook his head. “No. We will not risk angering our god.”

“We cannot accept the occupation, your Majesty. We will not,” Lili said.

“Sarela says Apra threatens violence if we move forward with the occupation,” her father said.

Lili looked at Finis. She fixed him with a hard glare. “No. Apra does not raise arms against its sovereign.”

Her father sighed with relief. “Thank the Great Mother. I would never hope to be opposed to your mother. She is a good friend.”

“She thinks the same of you, Great King, but you must know our friendship cannot survive an order that upsets our way of life,” Lili said.

“If this was not related to safety, then I would agree, but you must understand that there are lives at risk. An occupation will disrupt daily life, but a droid invasion will end your way of life. You must comply,” her father said.

Sarela frowned. The same argument. What else did they have, but the same argument?

“We will not submit to an occupation!” Finis snapped.

“Peace!” Lili snapped.

Torin sighed softly. “We must occupy the planet, your Highness. We need to ensure your safety.”

“Silence, Jedi!” Finis snapped.

“Remove yourself immediately,” Lili hissed at him.

The room went silent. The tension shared among them was already thick, but this outburst brought it to suffocating levels.

Finis stared at her in disbelief. “Sister.”

“Immediately,” she hissed again.

“Please, your Highness, I took no offense,” Torin said.

Finis said nothing more. He stood, bowed to the group, and left quickly.

Lili’s wings tensed. “These matters have divided my household. You have to understand what it does to us.”

“I am sorry,” her father said.

“Call off the occupation,” Lili said.

“No. I cannot,” her father sighed.

Lili stood sharply.

“If I may,” Captain Bren suddenly said, stepping forward.

“Captain?” her father looked at him.

The Jedi all turned in their chairs to look at him. The Commander and Captain Rex also paused to look at him. Sarela wondered what Bren’s story was. There was a story there. Bren cleared his throat.

“Would you agree to an orbital outpost?” he asked.

Lili slowly sat back down. “Orbital?”

“Yes, your Highness. One station in orbit, several ships to act as patrol. We could come down to the planet in small groups. With plenty of prior notice to prepare your people. Or we could send our own Republic probe droids to patrol the planet. We’ll stay above,” he explained.

Commander Rila patted his shoulder.

Sarela’s father looked at Lili. “A brilliant idea. Would you agree?”

Lili looked at Arel and the pair smiled. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Such a simple idea. We should have thought of that,” Arel said.

“So you’ll be alright with that?” Sarela asked hopefully.

Lili nodded. “We shall. A compromise.”

Sarela and Lili shared a smile and then she looked up to the Captain. He had moved back to stand with Rila and Rex. Sarela hoped she got to talk with him more.

She was eager to speak with more of the clones. Rex had given her a small glimpse into their world and she wanted more. His words about no one caring that they lived and died for the Republic still rang in her ears.

Sarela had a duty to Ziphus. As its Archduchess, as its Senator. She had a duty to her people. To represent them in the Senate and act in their best interest. She also had a life. Friends and hobbies, likes and interests. She loved to spend her free time in the country and in Harbor City, shopping and dining.

The clones also had a duty. But what else did they have outside of their duty? Nothing, it seemed. That didn’t sit well with her.

Sarela made a very important decision at that moment. While she watched the clones speak quietly to each other she swore to fight for them.

To give them everything they’ve ever wanted.

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The post dividers are made by @saradika ! I have linked each image to the original post for ease of finding them!

Get back, Disney

[the-crow-binary]

( @beevean it's you-know-what-AU time :3)

"So, where does that scar comes from ?"

Benedict raised his head, still in the middle of wiping the sweat off his face with his cape. He looked up at his mentor, who was standing against his Chauve-Souris.

"Uh ?" the young one wasn't sure to have heard right. After such an intense training, he was left rather tired.

"The scar on your face..." repeated his master with a sly smile. "I've been thinking about it or a while, now. It reminds me of your ancestor, though his scar was way smaller... and it was a scar inflicted by our Lord Himself. So I am rather curious, you see. And I had hoped you would tell me the story of how you got yours."

Benedict frowned and lowered his gaze to the ground. It wasn't a story he wanted to talk about, but...

"Well... You are my master, after all. I couldn't refuse even if I wanted to."

"Indeed. You learn fast, little Belmont."

The satisfied tone in his mentor's voice was enough to make him relax a bit, and his face suddenly felt a bit more warm. He sighed, dropped the piece of his cape he was holding, and closed his eyes as he rested the back of his head against the wall behind him.

"It was about four years ago. I was seventeen." he started. "The night I left my clan's home to come here."

"Oh ?"

Isaac sounded even more interested now. He got closer, and sat on a debris near him. Somehow, it made Benedict more confident. "Please, do continue."

"That year, I had been found by the Devils of the Castle, after performing a particularly strong forging. They told me once that the only reason why they didn't feel me earlier, was because of the holiness of the house... and because of the blood of my family. They were always around me..."

"Acting like a camouflage." The older one guessed.

"Precisely." he sighed. "If only I had known... well, there's no point in thinking about it now. What I can say is that, from then on, they started visiting me often... No, actually. It was different. They were always with me. When i couldn't hear their voices, I could feel their presence."

Recalling the events made him somewhat nostalgic. He picked up a rock and began playing with it thoughtlessly. "I was not alone anymore."

Isaac ignored the tightening in his chest.

"They kept talking to me about this place where I would truly belong in. The place i belonged to, as a Devil Forgemaster. They tried convincing me to follow them, with their sweet, angelic voices... they made me feel safe with them."

The mentor frowned. ""Sweet, angelic voices" ? From devils ?" Even he knew it was a ridiculous concept.

"You... don't hear them the same ?" suddenly, Benedict's confident seemed to go away. He looked at his mentor, trying to hide the worry taking place in his heart. In vain.

"I don't." he honestly responded. "Did you thought it was a Devil Forgemaster thing ?"

"I... I had hoped so..."

"Well, it's not, but i find it... intriguing. Don't mind that, go on with your story."

The brunet nodded, clenching the rock in his hand. "So... at first, I didn't want to. I still was very... attached, to my clan. I did not wanted to cause them any more trouble, but..."

"Your heart was saying something different, wasn't it ?" Isaac commented, amused.

"I guess." the boy smiled. "I was conflicted. But I ended up following them anyway, because I was so... so desperate."

He paused. And, this time, his mentor didn't interrupt. He waited for his student to find his words, patiently.

"When I arrived to the ruins, I immediately had this overwhelming feeling of belonging. Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. It felt amazing, it felt right, it felt... warm. The devils and demons were welcoming them to their home like it was already mine. They invited me to stay, told me to not return to the Belmont's home, that it was not where I was fated to be. And I..."

"You didn't listen."

"I didn't listen." he admitted. "I was a fool, and a coward... I was just so scared, so worried about all of those positive emotions I felt about this terrible place..."

Isaac couldn't help but laugh this time. "Waw, "terrible place", huh ? You really are a Belmont."

"Please do not mock me, sir Isaac." Benedict pleaded, cheeks turning red.

"I apologize." he said, with the most unconvincing tone possible. "I am simply amused... but don't let me interrupt you."

Benedict gulped, before going one with his story. "So... I fled. Back to the clan's household. And what awaited me was my father."

He gritted his teeth. "And he was armed."

Now, Isaac was getting excited. He was hanging to his student's lips, greatly enjoying seeing all different kind of emotions pass on his face, in his eyes. Going from sadness to pure anger. How captivating.

"He told me he knew where i had been." Benedict continued after a short pause. "He told me... he told me the only reason I was alive was because he could not kill a baby. But that now that I was older, he'd have less remorse in executing me."

The older forgemaster could almost feel the furiousness of his apprentice. "This little bastard..." he whispered.

"We fought." Benedict continued. "And I was winning." He could not even feel proud about it. Not when it was his own father he was forced to go against.

"So, that's when he gave you this scar ?"

"He did... with the Vampire Killer."

"What ?" Isaac frowned. "Your own father used your clan's ancestral weapon to hurt his own son ?" Benedicts nodded, anger slowly leaving his face to give place for another emotion his mentor could not quite describe. Sorrow, maybe ?

"Ironic, isn't it... It really serves to show how much of a monster he thought I was. But, let's be fair, even the whip itself must have thought of me as such... otherwise, why would it have burn me ?"

"What do you mean, burn you ?"

The Belmont sighed, looking at his only gloved hand.

"I mean exactly that. I tried to hold it once, and it burned my hand so badly I still have the marks on my hand. I hid it with a glove, because of the shame... It still hurts, sometimes. And so does the scar on my face..."

Isaac kept silent, unable to find the words this time. All he could think of was how weird it was for the whip to hurt a human this much. Even he could hold holy weapons... surely the Vampire Killer was no exception. Though he never tried.

"Anyway." the brunet broke the silence. "I had made a mistake, in that fight. I got my father at my mercy, but I... I didnt have the strength to finish him. I hesitated. And that was enough time for my mother to intervene and use magic to hurt me."

So, his mother was a magic user too. Good to know.

"And then the rest of my family arrived... and..." a lumped formed in his throat. "My little brother, too."

He dropped the rock he was still holding until then, and hid his face in his now shaking hands, breathing sharply.

"He looked so terrified of me... my little brother, the only little ray of sunshine in this suffocating house, the only one blessing me with his love... And he was horrified. I can't even begin to imagine what he must be thinking of me now..."

Now that was hitting him way too close to home. Isaac squeezed his Chauve-Souris in one hand, putting the other on his student's shoulder. He was fully expecting him to start sobbing at any moment, and yet... it never came. He could tell the young boy was holding back.

Benedict raised his head to take a deep breath, lowering his hands as he looked at the sky.

"I thought I was going to die there. My grandfather was about to execute me... but the demons... even though I had just abandoned them... they called for me once again. They told me it wasnt too late to go back to them, that they loved me... and so I... I fled, again. I escaped, somehow. I came running back here, begging the demons for forgiveness, and you know what...? They weren't even mad."

He laughed a bit, but Isaac could tell it was only to cover his true emotions.

"They... comforted me. Talked to me, soothed me, healed me... they made me feel like I was finally an actual part of a family. Even now... I feel loved by them. And even though I deeply regret this night... even though I'm scared of a lot of things... somehow... i'm happy."

Finally, he looked at his mentor, smiling softly. Isaac did not expect the warm feeling that engulfed his heart at that moment.

"And that is the story of how I got my scar."

[brokenrobot2004]

It makes me a little sad that I'm going to be convicted forever by the hate blog my ex best friend made about me years ago now; to her, the drama ended with that blog, but to me, it's going to stay forever as long as it's around, because it's one of the first things anyone is going to see when they look me up; I'd be more accepting of it if it wasn't also loosely comprised of buzzwords (Biphobic and ablest are specifically strange to me because I'm bi and diagnosed with autism, and even back when I was aroace I never said anything about bisexuals? I never said anything about any kind of disability either, I was always very respectful about both of those things and have even considered myself bi before now too, when I was 11) and mildly sexualized assumptions that an adult made of posts I made when I was either 10 or 11 years old in the furby community, just trying to fit in with what other people were saying but not entirely having a grip on what they meant and sounding off, when I never meant to sound the way I did at all; like how "Fetishizing trans women" was a post where I angrily mocked my mom calling me cute or girly things because I was a trans guy and found it upsetting, "disabled furby fetish" was me trying to make a positivity post about helping disabled furbies to be inclusive like everyone else was being, one of the things happened to be me saying I'd help a furby who couldn't walk sit on the toilet because I heard around that people taking care of the elderly would do that, so I included it in my post to seem knowledgeable on real ways of helping, and that was it; I really really wish that even while I was an unhinged young teenager, people would have just gently asked before writing those ever-lasting posts, "Hey, did you mean bla-bla-bla when you said this, or did you mean something else?" and I would've answered honestly, I'm sure; I was a bit of a monstrosity the further back you go into history of how I acted on the internet but I was really, not all that terrible to talk to when there was no perceived threat from the person and asking me a rational question would've been easy, I never ever mean to hurt anybody, but now, that's all people are going to think of me; even in real life, because who wouldn't look up my social media in this digital era? 🙁

And it was mostly, if not entirely, consisting of behaviors and views I've grown out of since the 5+ years ago it happened; I have even been met with backlash in 2022 or 2023, for saying I'm sorry to someone I was mean to back then 😯 (I now think that was unnecessary from me, I was very tired that day) what do the people who've cancelled me want from me? I don't think they want me to apologize, or care that I've gotten so much better since then; I think maybe they just want to revel in that I am a complete recluse now socially, a coward; I cannot even say "Cool fursuit!" or "I like your artstyle!" without feeling like somehow, someone will come forward and be able to twist what I've said into something terrible and use it against me if they don't like me, because that's just how people can be online now; it's terrifying. My ex best friend has shunned me behind my back for being so scared, I remember being shown longer ago; but knowing the things that upset her, she would be absolutely broken if someone did to her, what she did to me online; because that shit can ruin careers, it could ruin my chance of ever making a friend again, even IRL because anyone can look me up online; imagine doing that to somebody who was at the time, not even old enough to drink.

I've been called vile, irredeemable, and anonymously told to kill myself once even; I was a 16 year old; a rather air-headed one too yet. Who would talk that way to a 16 year old who made it clear he was trying to improve and never meant to hurt anyone? Who knew he was in the wrong and was trying his hardest to fix it? For young readers rolling their eyes, how absurd that is will click when you're older and realize how inexperienced most people are at that age.

And that isn't keeping in mind how developmentally delayed I always have been too, which I state as a fact and not as an excuse; I don't let it ever stop me from improving myself either, but I feel like it's probably important that I mention that about myself here; I've always been considerably far behind people my age socially and often, intellectually; it was very visible at School especially where alot of the work I did was far behind everyone else's, and was alot slower than them too, and when I was younger I'd hardly get any work done at all even and was very difficult to deal with as a whole; Autism can be a very unflattering disability, it's not generally pure or wholesome, and it has influenced my bad or otherwise embarrassing behavior alot in the past; which I will still take responsibility for; because my illness isn't some seperate entity from me I'd use as an excuse, I just want it to be understood and recognized that I can't function as well as most other people in the head, I never could, and I genuinely just want that to be understood coming from someone who is seriously, detrimentally autistic to a point I had gotten diagnosed with it at a young age; my past outbursts and socially-inept behaviors helped by it gave the internet ridiculous shitshows to point at, and I'll never be able to take that away; what I can do is hope that I'll be atleast somewhat understood in the end, and left alone for how I was such a long time ago now

I've made a good effort to no longer be that way or act immature and freak out like I did long ago, and I can't stop persuing a social presence at such a young age, over the idea that strangers might not understand that about me.

I have no respect for people who think call-out and purity culture are okay and useful towards youth; this stuff was meant for use against megacorperations and rich celebrities that are getting boycotted for being generally harmful and/or gross on a huge scale that affects many innocent people, not stupid teenagers like I was, or even young adults. People learn, grow, and change; I spend and have spent every second of my life finding ways to grow and improve, and taking information in from people I look up to and admire to do so; and came far enough that I am 100% no longer the petty, angry, and immature person I was at the time, and that makes me very proud. I am no longer going to cower in my little corner, shivering at the thought of complimenting someone's 3D model or uploading a piece of music on YouTube; because people who told a scared and confused autistic kid to end his life and tried to take future careers, friendships, or even love away from him with things he's said and done years and years ago, do not deserve my compliance anymore