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angstyaches · 1 year ago

Note

i’ve been thinking about a halloween prompt for donnacha because i’m so incredibly obsessed with his and henry’s relationship dynamic.

i know you’re not big into overeating, so you know how when you don’t eat, you eventually start to get a little woozy and gross feeling? donnacha hasn’t eaten in hours cause he’s been busy running last minute halloween errands (can you get more candy? we have to have this very specific sweet! that place was out? oh no! can you try here?!) for everyone and he’s starving by the time he gets home.

he’s staying in with henry this year because he doesn’t like going out and hen doesn’t really go out anymore either. plus, donnacha doesn’t want to see a repeat of last year where he walked in on henry anxiety puking on the bathroom floor after snapping at lucy. so he beats a hasty retreat to henry’s room to get away from the mayhem happening in the shared space after he gives everyone their stuff, and he’s got a bag of his favourite junk food with him that he starts to munch on while he jabbers on to henry about his day. everything is going great!

only… his belly isn’t really liking all the sugar and it isn’t really helping his headache go away and he’s getting quieter and quieter until henry finally asks him what’s wrong.

-🐭

Yes, it's December 2nd, and yes, I know this is late.

Thank you so much for this lovely, detailed, thoughtful request, anony 🐭, I appreciate you so much and I hope you're well.

I've had this draft for so long and I'm a bit tipsy right now as I'm posting it, so I'm sorry if there are typos/inconsistencies, or if it just straight up isn't good 👍

CW: overthinking, stomach pain, mention of cheating, mention of breakup, overindulgence (sugar), mention of chronic pain, platonic caretaking.

Word Count: 4,200+

___

Donnacha barely had a second to breathe as he stepped through the door, before he was being beckoned through to the living area by someone who didn’t even live here.

Autumn was dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast; her outfit was casual, nothing extravagant like the yellow ball gown from the movie, but he could tell that was who she was. He felt a pang of recognition at the lace detail on the collar of her yellow blouse. Had she worn that on a date once? Had he been with her when she’d bought it? A second pang, this one tinged with loss.

It still sent him reeling, sometimes, that she wasn’t his, and he wasn’t hers.

“What is it?”

“Get in here.”

Donnacha sighed. He’d been running on empty all afternoon, actively ignoring the rumbling in his stomach and the tension in his brain for hours now. Now that he was home, he felt like wilting.

He blinked in bewilderment as he stepped into the living area. Lucy had been stringing up Halloween decorations since halfway through September, but she’d really doubled down at some point since he’d left this morning. He could barely see the mouldings for the amount of fake cobweb and crepe paper streamers filling the corners and tapering off across the ceiling.

But it was the unfamiliar faces that really threw him.

“Donnacha, this is Dixon,” Autumn said, gesturing towards the Asian guy dressed as Legolas from Lord of the Rings, and then to the dark-skinned girl in the ladybird costume. They were both sitting on the couch, flanked by a seated Claudette on one side and by Autumn standing at the other. “And this is Leigh. We’re in the musical together. Guys, this is Donnacha, my –”

She didn’t falter as she spoke, but in between her words, Donnacha’s heart did a sickening flip. Was she about to bring up the fact that they were exes? He wasn’t sure he was comfortable advertising that with these people he didn’t know –

“Oldest friend,” Autumn finished.

Donnacha let go of a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. “I mean, I’m not that old.” He smiled; both Dixon and Leigh had beautiful smiles, so it would have been a little difficult not to. “Great to meet you both.”

“You, too,” they practically said in unison, which led to Leigh curling her lip and softly backhanding Dixon’s leg. Next to Dixon’s knee, there was a glossy pride pin that caught Donnacha’s attention. It was attached to the strap of a side bag that he was holding firmly in his lap.

Donnacha breath caught in his throat as he thought about the flat cardboard packet that was currently sitting in the top drawer of his bedside table. Inside, still wrapped in plastic, was a bisexual flag pin. He’d been a little drunk and dizzy when he’d ordered on Etsy, and it’d seemed like a great idea at the time. He’d even smiled proudly to himself when it had arrived, but as soon as he’d started opening the package, as soon as he’d started thinking about actually wearing the pin, a pain had bloomed in the pit of his stomach. It just seemed as though advertising his identity was unnecessary. Maybe dangerous. Undoubtedly more trouble than it was worth.

He understood it now, though; he felt himself wanting to be seen, to be recognised, like Dixon.

Shit, he thought. Maybe he should have mentioned his pronouns after Autumn had introduced him –

It was too late now, because Lucy was scampering up to him, hands outstretched. “Thanks, hon.”

She relieved him of the shopping bags that had been testing the limits of his shoulder sockets for the past hour. He smiled at her tiredly and looked at her skinny denim jeans and plaid shirt, wondering if she hadn’t gotten changed yet, or had poured so much Halloween spirit into decorating the flat that she had none left to fuel a costume.

“You kept the receipts, right? I’ll pay you back tomorrow afternoon,” Lucy said.

“What are you dressing up as tonight?” Claudette asked from the other end of the sofa. Donnacha realised she was addressing him. Their eyes were pinned on Donnacha’s face over the rim of their cup. Autumn had promised – of her own volition – that she would never tell anybody that Donnacha had kissed someone else during their relationship, but he could never quite shake the feeling that Claudette knew something more than they let on.

“Eh, nothing.” Donnacha shook his head. “I’m… I’m actually not coming out tonight.”

“Oh, you’re not?” Autumn looked genuinely crestfallen, which gave Donnacha yet another strange pang in the centre of his chest. He didn’t know what to do with it, so he boxed it up, tucked it away in the back of his mind, and tried to stop thinking about it.

“Jesus, Donnacha!” Lucy called out from behind him. She’d propped the bags on the edge of the coffee table and was fishing things out, one by one. “You let us boss you around on the phone all day, and you’re not even partying with us? Why didn’t you say something!”

“Lu, it’s grand, seriously,” Donnacha smiled. He edged a little closer to her as some familiar packaging caught his eye. He’d almost forgotten that he’d grabbed something just for himself amidst all of the bossing around. “These are for me,” he chuckled sheepishly, reaching for the packets.

Lucy just nodded and shrugged. “Yeah, fair enough.”

“Anyway, I’d already promised I’d drive to the shops before this other plan came up…”

“Ooh-ooh, other plan?” Lucy lowered her voice, though everybody could still hear her, clear as day. “A hot date?”

“Oh, yeah.” Donnacha smirked. “I’ve got a date with this floppy-haired lad who works in web design and never leaves his bedroom.”

As soon as he made the joke, he wanted to snatch it out of the air and swallow it back down. It had somehow sounded like an unnecessary dig at his friend, and implied that it really was a date. How the hell had that happened?

“No – I just… Me and Henry, we’re just gonna watch a movie and hang out. You know, after what happened last year, I didn’t think it’d be good for him to be, you know, overwhelmed…” Donnacha couldn’t believe it was his own mouth that was saying these things. Nobody needed him throwing about reminders of Henry’s meltdown last Halloween, least of all Henry himself.

Autumn gave one of her politest smiles and turned to say something off-topic to Leigh. Claudette was still eyeing Donnacha with a curiosity that bordered on disgust. Even Lucy didn’t seem to know what to say, which was never a good sign.

Donnacha frowned, irritated. He’d spent all afternoon hunting down everybody’s requests for the Halloween party, edging through traffic jams, bothering staff members about their stock. He hadn’t expected to be hoisted up onto anyone’s shoulders like he’d scored a winning try, but shouldn’t he at least be allowed to be himself?

He pushed that feeling aside, packing it up alongside his confusing feelings about Autumn, and his reluctance about his identity, and his nervousness about Claudette, and his guilt about Henry.

He cleared his throat and rubbed at his stomach, which delivered to him a nasty twinge to remind him that the last thing he’d eaten had been a pathetically small, dry article that had barely passed for a blueberry muffin at 10am. The packaging of his chocolate bars crinkled in his other hand, and he couldn’t help eyeing the half-empty plates that were scattered throughout the room, holding mini spring rolls and spicy wedges and breaded cheese sticks.

“There any food left?” he asked, feeling oddly grateful for the opportunity to change the subject.

“Yeah, lots.” Payton.

Donnacha turned around.

They were sitting at the dining table, and had been quiet and staring at their phone since Donnacha had come in. They were wearing a navy jacket and had curled the front of their hair, but Donnacha didn’t care to contemplate their appearance any further.

They half-smiled at him and nodded towards the kitchen. “Help yourself.”

Help yourself. Of course, Payton would know all about helping themself, since they’d helped themself to Autumn less than a fortnight after the break-up –

“Thanks,” Donnacha said, making a beeline for the kitchen.

Everything edible was spread out on baking trays and was dried out from the oven and cold from sitting out too long. It was hardly an appetising site, especially while Donnacha was already thinking about tearing into his Macaroon bars. He’d been hit with a wave of nostalgia when he’d spotted them on his hunt for Lucy’s obscure requests, and he’d bought them thinking they would be his desserts for the next few weeks, but who was going to stop him from making them into his dinner tonight?

His stomach gurgled quietly beneath his hoodie. On top of the sharp hunger pains, it felt knotted with tension. He couldn’t believe how easily he forgot how skipping meals affected him, making him shaky and emotional. It’d been a mistake to let it get this bad.

After tossing a small handful of wedges and some ketchup onto a plate, Donnacha tucked his chocolates under his arm and swept through the living area one more time.

“Happy Halloween, have a good night,” he smiled, and he didn’t stop to let anyone’s expression or response sink in.

___

“Oh,” Donnacha deadpanned, “you’re working?”

Henry didn’t turn around at first, and Donnacha realised it was because he had his noise-cancelling headphones on. He must have seen the light from the hallway reflected in the computer screen though, because the further Donnacha pushed the door open, the more Henry’s attention seemed to twitch away from his work.

He took off the headphones and swung his chair into a half-turn. “You’re late.”

That face was a relief to lay eyes upon. Henry had washed his hair, there was some colour in his cheeks, and the circles under his eyes were barely a smudge. His eyebrows were scrunched up in a frown, but that was hardly unusual, and Donnacha knew that Henry could be frowning himself into a knot and still be genuinely content.

He didn’t understand it, but he knew it.

“Did you say something, by the way?”

“Yeah.” Donnacha tossed his Macaroon bars onto Henry’s bed. He sat down on the mattress, his plate of wedges on his lap. “I was trying to ask what you’re playing at. Working? I thought we were watching a film.”

Henry’s mouth slid into a thin, stretched line, his expression taut with unvoiced laughter.

“What?” Donnacha asked. He thought for a second about what he’d just said, popping a mini spring roll in his mouth and crunching down on it. Then he sighed, replaying in his head what he’d previously said, hearing it through Henry’s ears. “Seriously? Fil-um?”

Henry cracked a smirk.

Donnacha pointed at Henry’s computer screen. “Switch that off.”

“I want to finish what I’m working on.” Henry held up his hands, pre-emptively stopping Donnacha from protesting. “This is on you. I had to start something to occupy myself, and now I have to finish it. You were very late.”

“Yeah, I’m extremely aware. Bloody starving as well,” Donnacha said over a grumble in his stomach, dipping a cold potato wedge into the little pool of ketchup on the side of his plate. “So, are we not actually watching this movie anymore?”

“Of course.” There was no little amount of judgement in Henry’s gaze as he adjusted the bridge of his glasses. “I still can’t believe you’ve never seen The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

Donnacha chewed without much relish. He took in, for the first time since entering, what Henry was wearing. “I still can’t believe you own a... baby-grow.”

Henry glanced down at his orange one-piece pyjama set. “It’s a onesie.”

“Same thing.”

Henry held eye contact with him for a few seconds as he pulled the hood of the onesie up over the top of his head. A Jack O’Lantern face was stitched into the hood, and a little green stalk sat at the crown of Henry’s head. “It was a birthday gift from Lucy.”

“Was it? All she gave me for my birthday was scratch cards.”

“Try being her friend for ten years.”

Eyeing the pumpkin pyjamas one last time, Donnacha shook his head. “You know, I think I’m good.”

“Mmhmm,” Henry grunted. Hood still pulled up, his attention had already been drawn back to his computer screen.

Donnacha let him work in silence for a couple of minutes, slowly chewing his way through his pile of wedges, but eyeing his chocolate bars with much more enthusiasm. He hadn’t had a lot to eat yet, but having calories inside of him had improved his mood drastically.

Licking a smear of ketchup from his thumb, he glanced up at Henry. “Did you get some food?”

Without tearing his eyes away from his work, Henry pulled his hunched shoulders further back into his chair, unblocking Donnacha’s view of a paper bag that sat next to his keyboard. “I secretly ordered Thai noodles while I was waiting for you. You were very –”

“Very, very, very, extremely late,” Donnacha finished for him. It brought a smile to his face, to picture Henry in his pumpkin onesie, creeping down the hallway to collect his food at the front door without alerting anybody else in the apartment.

“I have some leftovers, if you’d like to warm them up.”

“Nah. Thanks.” Donnacha reached over to put his half-full plate on Henry’s nightstand. The scratching sound of ceramic on wood made Henry’s gaze jerk to the side.

“Hmm. Thought you were starving?”

“I am.” Donnacha rubbed his palms together.

“Then, what are you going to… What are those?”

Donnacha grinned broadly as he tore open the first packet, and the wrapped chocolate bars fell onto the bedspread. He felt a spark of pride upon seeing Henry half-turn his chair again. “Come on. Don’t tell me you don’t know what these are.”

Henry’s head bobbed from side to side.

“They’re Macaroons!” Donnacha exclaimed. “They’re a classic. Don’t tell me you never had these as a child?”

“My mother didn’t care much for sweets.” Henry touched the bridge of his glasses again.

“Want to try one?”

Henry shook his head. “I’m full.”

“Alright, but you’re missing out.” Donnacha picked up one of the bars and laid it to the side. “Know what, I’ll save you one.”

“Save me one?” Henry’s voice rose. “How many are you planning to eat?”

“Never you mind!” Donnacha waved a hand towards Henry’s computer before his fingers began wrestling open the wrapper on the bar. “Don’t you have graphics to design, or something?”

“I do.”

The first mouthful of the bar seemed to melt away on his tongue, but after the second, Donnacha began to feel the warm, giddy sensation of sugar settling in his belly. Mentally, he was right back in his hometown – or rather, the closest village to the remote area where his father’s farm was located – surrounded by crumbling stone walls and single-lane roads and the smell of vegetation.

Donnacha happily burned his way through three more of the bars, and was fishing the next one out of the packet when he let out an involuntary sound that Henry clearly found distracting. “Mmm.”

“Enjoying yourself,” Henry observed. Maybe it had been intended as a question, but there was no doubt in his voice.

Donnacha shook his head in a way that meant yes. “You have your cartoons and your old films, Hen –”

“Fil-ums,” Henry repeated incredulously under his breath. Every time, he acted as though it was his first time hearing Donnacha pronouncing that specific word in that specific way.

“But this – this right here –” Donnacha flattened the empty wrapper between his thumbs and stretched it tight, so that the words lay flat and the pattern unrumpled. “This is pure childhood joy for me.”

Henry’s desk chair creaked as Henry shifted his weight, bracing his hands on the armrests. He looked vaguely uncomfortable, and Donnacha was about to ask him if something hurt, but was cut off.

“You had those a lot,” Henry asked, “as a kid?”

“Every weekend, after mass,” Donnacha nodded, chewing quickly so he could swallow. “Da’d stay at the church because he’d be talking to the priest, and Mammy had this group of friends who would stand and smoke just down the road, and they’d – they’d give me and Aoife some pocket money, and…”

He took a break to swallow again, saliva filling his mouth as the sweet aftertaste lingered.

“And the two of us, we’d hightail it down the road, to the corner shop,” he said. “The shop owner was called Mrs. Breathnach, and she always took her time coming down to open up after mass, but me and Aoife were always the first ones waiting for her, and she used to know our favourites off by heart, so she’d be unlocking the shop and rattling off, ‘a Dip Dab for Aoife Ní Mhurchú, a Macaroon for Donnacha Ó Murchú, and one carton of milk’. Mammy always got us to pick up the milk as well, so there’d be milk for Sunday tea…”

He was quickly realising that there was no satisfying end to this story, no way for him to whip up the words to properly convey why these were such important memories.

Henry had stopped working altogether and was looking at him from the desk chair. His dull green eyes were unreadable as always behind his glasses, especially in the low lighting and with the computer screen glare reflected in the lenses.

��Sorry.” Donnacha swallowed again, realising his cheeks were burning and his stomach was doing flips. He took a bite of chocolate. “I’m rambling like my Uncle Seán at Christmas dinner.”

“It’s okay –”

Donnacha gestured towards the computer screen. “Do you not need to get your work done, so we can watch this movie?”

Henry was silent for a couple of seconds. Donnacha genuinely didn’t feel like chatting anymore, and he was really hoping that Henry wouldn’t push the subject. But he thankfully turned his chair back towards the desk and took the computer mouse in his hand.

After a little while, Henry reached for the chocolate bar that Donnacha had placed aside for him. He undid the wrapping so that there were no tears down the side, no damage done to the text or the design. His careful precision brought a private smile to Donnacha’s face.

“Want to finish it?” Henry asked after eating the quarter that he’d broken off.

“Aw. Do you not like it?”

“It’s nice,” Henry said, “but I’m still full from dinner.”

Donnacha pressed his lips together as he eyed the chocolate in Henry’s hand. His throat was dry, and his stomach was now pulsing with pain. “Wrap it back up. Have it later.”

Once again, he expected Henry to refuse, especially since he didn’t seem overly enamoured with the bar in the first place, but thankfully he nodded and folded the wrapper down over the open side. He went back to tapping away with his computer mouse.

Donnacha sank back a little on the bed, trying to find a comfier position that didn’t place too much pressure on his stomach. He started to reach for another chocolate bar but stopped himself.

“You’ve gone quiet,” Henry remarked after a notable amount of time had passed. “What’s wrong?”

“What d’you mean? You asked me to be quiet.”

“Never usually stops you.” Henry sat back in his chair, reaching up under his pumpkin hood to scratch his scalp. “Can I ask you a question?”

“’Course you –”

“Why did you stop telling the story about these bars?”

“Because – because it wasn’t really a story,” Donnacha frowned. “There wasn’t anything else to tell, and I didn’t want to just keep… you know, rambling on.”

“That word again.” Henry’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Do I ramble on when I talk to you about work, or movies, or my life, or whatever?”

Donnacha frowned. “No?”

“But that’s what it felt like you were saying. Do I tell you too much? Because it feels as though you never tell me anything about yourself.”

“There’s… not much to know –”

Henry scoffed loudly, a sound Donnacha had not expected to hear from him. It set his teeth on edge, and the sensation was uncomfortably similar to the hurt that flared up when he thought about Payton and Autumn.

“You don’t tell me shit either,” he said. He was trying for a calm, measured tone, but somehow managed to sound like a sulking child. Like he’d gone into the corner shop and they were all sold out of Macaroons –

“What?” Henry choked out.

You – you never told me why you stopped going out, why you stopped being Lavender, why you stopped bringing dates here… Donnacha’s stomach turned over, and he was hit with the sudden realisation that he might be sick. The back of his hand hovered towards his mouth. How the hell could he even have considered saying that? How could he compare the details of his silly little life story with... whatever it was that had kept Henry locked up at home for so long?

He was just grateful he’d managed to bite his tongue before speaking.

“I’ve upset you.” A dry hitch in Henry’s voice. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, Hen, it’s not – it’s not about that.”

His breath caught in his throat, heat swelling in his cheeks, as his insides gave an uneasy shift. It mightn’t have been so bad – in fact, it relieved a little pocket of pressure in his belly – if it hadn’t sounded like a lawnmower engine trying to take off. No denying it now.

“Pain in my stomach,” Donnacha admitted, massaging his side. “Right here.”

Henry turned his head, just slightly, and Donnacha caught sight of the look on his face. Something more than a sneer, something less than an eye roll. And his eyes were trailing close to the packets of chocolate bars that sat next to Donnacha on the bed.

“What?” Donnacha demanded.

“No comment.”

“You think I did this to myself.”

Henry turned back to his screen. “No comment.”

“And no sympathy either, I take it.” Donnacha sighed and pressed a little harder into his belly as he rubbed. The pain was warm, tight, tucked right up under his ribs. It felt a little like bloating, without feeling overly full. Like all of the chocolate had clumped together in his stomach and was sitting like a dead weight.

“I never said that, now, did I?”

Donnacha looked up to see that Henry was actually shutting his computer down. “Oh... you’re done?”

“Mmm. Yeah. Let’s go with that,” Henry said, which suggested to Donnacha that he wasn’t actually finished, but Donnacha was too relieved to make an argument. He hadn’t really acknowledged it, but the main thing getting him through the day had been this – time with Henry, time in which neither of them had to pretend that they were something they weren’t, or less than they were.

Henry spun his hair to the side and eased himself to his feet, wincing as he unfurled his legs. It suddenly felt silly – insensitive, even – for Donnacha to be complaining about something as fleeting and, yes, self-inflicted, as a belly ache.

“Are you okay?” Donnacha asked, half-rising from his position on the bed. “Is – is your hip...?”

“My hip’s fine,” Henry said as he sat down heavily on the edge of the mattress, one arm extended in Donnacha’s direction. “Come here.”

Donnacha exhaled and allowed himself to sink into Henry’s embrace, to enjoy the feeling of soft waves of hair brushing against his own. His own was short, aerodynamic, clipped and primed for always being on the move, while Henry’s had an air of messiness, of softness, of a way of living that involved no urgency.

Good, Donnacha thought with an odd flare of protectiveness. With all the pain and hardship that he’d been through, Henry deserved that kind of life.

A hand pressing against his belly made Donnacha groan and cuddle in closer, but shame pushed against the warmth in his chest.

I was supposed to be taking care of you.

Donnacha heard himself let out a whine, and his cheeks flushed. In an almost instantaneous response, Henry wrapped his arm tighter around Donnacha’s waist, tucking his face into Donnacha’s hair.

“How about you just try to get some sleep.” Another question that wasn’t a question. An offer that Donnacha wanted to sink into. Henry’s arm trembled against his ribcage, but he kept the hug going.

Donnacha shook his head, hair bristling against Henry’s stubbled chin. “Let’s watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Donnacha rubbed at his eyes and tried to sit up a little, resisting the urge to let his body curl around the sickly pain beneath his abs. “I might need a few more belly rubs, though, if you’re up for the job.”

Henry clicked his tongue in the back of his throat and pressed a quick, passing kiss to the side of Donnacha’s forehead. “Of course you do.”

#Lucverse Donnacha #sickfic #stomach ache fic #stomach ache #hurt comfort #hurt and comfort #Lucyverse #Lucyverse Henry #platonic caretaking

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zarvasace · 1 year ago

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PROGRESS POST

(10/4/23)

This is partly for accountability and partly just to get all this out of my head! This last month or two have felt so hectic, getting used to a new work and sleep schedule and all. I'm still not quite there.

If you're curious about what I've been working on and what my plans are in terms of writing and art for the rest of the year, read on. :)

I will say, though, that if you want more of a specific AU or story, the way to get it is by asking questions and leaving comments! Asks and comments remind me about things I'm doing and get me excited about them again! I have these plans, but I also am very good at chasing inspiration to unknown (and sometimes unimportant) corners!

By Fandom

Linked Universe Projects

I've been feeling less motivated to work on LU stuff, but I still plan on at least finishing what I have open, so you can look forward to some of that!

Writing

Disability AU—one small mobility trio fic in the works. A few vague ideas for doing backstory fics.

Council (1931 vampire AU)—this is still the "backburner to backburner" fic, but I do have some fun ideas. I just have been distracted with other things! I think this AU is a lot of fun and I'd love to do more with it. We'll have to see.

The Marvelous Misadventures of Wind and His Merry Band of Maybe-Human Misfits—chapter 7 (out of 9 or so) is in progress. I have it all outlined out, and it's fun to work on, but I have (again) been distracted! This is, I hope, going to be my main December project. It'd be nice to finish before it turns 2 years old next summer. Oops.

I have several other WIPs that aren't very exciting and probably won't see daylight, but they're there if I feel like them

Art

Coloring book—I'm part of the coloring book project! :) I have already finished 1/2 drawings, and they went so well, I'm considering doing more.

Shatterproof manga page—still on my radar! I'm doing the end scene from dazzling diamond danger, and my ambition keeps outgrowing my time.

Four Swords Projects

Writing

Fairytale AU—man I've started this Vidow BatB fic literally five times. I have an almost-complete draft sitting at like... 20k?? iirc, but I kind of hate a lot of it. I also like a lot of it. It's a bit difficult for me to work on rewriting something in that situation. Anyway. Another December thing probably.

Fright Fight—I have ideas for every week, but am currently unsure if I want to draw or write for them. Most of my October will be focused on filling these prompts!

Vampire Lords AU—I have strange as severe is this my fate open right now, with a fair amount of material... it just needs to be edited a bit. I do want to keep working on that, I've just... well. Distraction. A common theme. XD I might be feeling another little bite fic coming on, too.

Art

Fright Fight—see above

Fright Fight part 2—I have a few side things to do for this, like making graphics that I haven't quite finished yet. They shouldn't take long, I just gotta do em!

Non-Fandom

Stickers—I am in the process of drawing some stickers! Yay! These are for my work, but also just for me. I want some Halloween stickers. This is a backburner project.

Nanowrimo project—I need to spend some time figuring out a few things to really get going on my princess-verse. I'm going to be doing Nanolympics this year, so hopefully some of their preptober stuff will help!

Hearts Linked Together—my super-cool Linkverse. XD I love my dumb timeline, and all the characters, they're just filler drawings that I haven't had time to continue.

Secret Zelda project—I really really need to do this! I can't say much right now, but it involves a fair amount of work, both writing and art. I think I haven't gotten very far on it yet because I'm intimidated. Stop that.

Zine edits—I worked really really hard on an art piece for a LoZ zine coming up! This week is critique, and I anticipate a few edits later.

By Month

Facebook posts—a lady I know wants to commission pretty quote images to post on her Facebook. I need to reply to her text. And do them.

September

I primarily worked on the fic Blood-Sucker's Guide to High School. I also worked on and submitted one fic and one piece of art to two different zines, which I hope you'll see soon.

October

If you care, you may have noticed I'm not doing Whumptober this year! Part of this is because I'm a bit burned out from the above, and part of it is that the prompts just didn't seem very inspiring to me this year. Maybe that's just my mindset. I haven't been in a very whumpy mood.

I'm planning on filling weekly prompts for @fsfrightfight this month and maybe chipping away at some other fics, in addition to one more zine contribution. I'm also going to be planning for November and doing some scattered art work here and there.

November

NaNoWriMo! I considered skipping this... but I'm feeling really inspired and motivated to do it, especially with October as a break. I'm going to write some original work, and that will be the focus of my November. I'll likely get some other art done, too.

December

I hope to dedicate this month to finishing things up from this year! That means working on "backburner" projects.

#i speak from the coffin

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theindependentfox · 1 year ago

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Labour in reverse

It's Wednesday.

6:30pm tonight will mark the end of day three in detox. I stare into the sun, feeling the cold pavers under the balls of my feet and seaweed between my toes. There's sand on my laptop - I don't care. Peppermint floats into my olfactory senses; I'm starting to get my smell back. My mind overflows with thoughts, but it's a little easier to organise them now, to focus on them. Birds chirp. I stare into the sun. I'm surrounded by surfboards, festoon lights and whitewashed furniture. There are flannelette sheets on my bed, blinds that block out the daylight, pillows that make me feel like a Queen. Family photos line the walls, flowers and fruit trees line the veranda. When I sit outside, all I can hear is the wind, the house creaking in the salty air, and the birds serenading one another.

It's like I've rediscovered the world.

I'm sad that I gave it up for so long.

I've tried to write. When I looked at my drafts today, I had scattered bits and pieces everywhere, not unlike how I felt as a person. My jittery finger's kept jumping all over the keyboard. I had to keep backspacing my mistakes and typing out the smallest thought took longer than I care to admit.

When a woman is in labour, her symptoms amplify as time goes on, until it finishes with the birth of a child. I tried to think of my experience detoxing as labour in reverse. Honestly, knowing that my current stage was worse than what was to come was the only thing that motivated me to stay calm and ride the waves.

I've had two and a half days of haziness, pain, binge eating and very low-energy thinking processes. I've lost parts of my vision, being unable to focus on anything in my sight. I felt like my eyes shook in their sockets and rolled around in the back of my head. My hearing wasn't much better. I would go deaf mid-conversation with someone. At first I thought it was because I didn't care but I soon realised my brain couldn't process what was happening. I shook and shuddered so often it was easier just to lie down. I couldn't think. My brain froze every time I tried. It literally stopped me mid-sentence. I've had a head fog the size of Uluru, crushing me further and further down into soft pillows. It throbbed when cravings came. My body twitched in ways I can only imagine looks foreign. It mostly felt like my head, and my mind kindly took moments to remind me of how Lord Voldemort twitched when he was frustrated. Awkward, involuntary, irked. My brain would freeze when it didn't know a word, then my mind reacted by being infuriated, then disappointed. Cravings came in waves of anger and sad, dark blue struggling. I couldn't cook. I had severe constipation and diarrhoea from the junk food I was binge eating but it was the only thing that held off cravings. I was so fatigued, I napped on and off the entire time.

How do you know that life sucks if everything feels good all the time? If you're escaping into a feel-good realm? You don't. That's where I got caught. When people asked me 'what do you do in your spare time?' or 'what do you do outside of work?' I couldn't give them an answer I was proud of. Because everyday, I would look up at the sky, say to myself 'thank god that's over', I would blaze up, binge eat, give my dog a half-hearted walk and expect him to nap with me when I knew he'd already napped all day. I was wasting his time as well as mine. I felt guilty every day.

I've been thinking more about the concept of "what happened to you?". I think it's starting to make more sense, that the way I acted is a choice I made in a hard situation. I wanted to feel good at a shitty time in my life. I chased the dopamine train. It will only define me if I let it.

I've been practicing having conversations with locals in town, starting off small and leaving the interaction when I need to. My brain keeps freezing but I'm getting better. They probably just think I'm a little off, a little weird. Which isn't totally untrue. My best interaction so far was this morning. I recognised when my brain switched off. I re-directed it. I haven't been able to do that until today. A turning point.

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randomvongenerico · 6 months ago

Text

HELLO!

It's me, randomvongenerico. I'm finally getting around to replying to you again. 😅 Sorry about this incredibly belated response. Like, ridiculously late 😓.

I had started writing down my reply to you, and had made good progress (there were a lot of things I wanted to say, add and ask), but I was writing late at night and had to go to sleep, so I noticed I could save my comment as a draft and thought "oh, cool! I'll do that and continue later".

Except I don't know where it got saved. So I lost what I had already written down which made lose the incentive to continue because I'd have to start again. It took me this long to finally sit down again and give it another go. So once again, sorry for this super late reply that you probably don't even want to see anymore.

But anyway, I'll get on with going over the points of interest of your last reply to me and what I have to say about them. Btw, as a heads up, at some points I'm going to go on some rambles here, and at points I'm just going to start venting about some things that I've been wanting to get off my chest for some time. I just want to clarify that none of my ranting is directed at you, it's just me shouting (or I guess angrily typing) at the wind. So don't think I'm getting angry at you or anything, okay? Good? Good.

Anyway without further ado:

Sure, he still presents a huge threat to lots of people, but given that we’d just seen proof that AFO did not know about Shinsou’s power,[2] they could also have used Machia to, for example, rapidly transport the heroes to some place they could set up a second ambush to trick AFO into responding to Shinsou. I mean, good god, AFO’s the chattiest villain in the comic; Hawks lured him into at least two extended conversations even after he’d resolved that he needed to leave. He’s a Demon Lord and thus categorically incapable of shutting up. And that would have been that, really. Take control and let the clock run out; end of problem.

While that sounds like a good use of Shinso's Quirk, I can't help but feel like it'd end up being useless because then Horikoshi would just be like "oh, AfO has a Quirk that makes him immune to brainwashing or something", or simply say that AfO is THAT strong that he can break out of it. AfO, Midoriya and Shigaraki are the three characters that completely bend around any rule that they need to when they need to. The only time they don't, is coincidentally when they're facing eachother (although the plot still has them pull out curve balls anyways).

I’ve observed this problem in a few different areas, that Horikoshi sometimes writes the heroes, particularly Hawks, as not taking actions or drawing conclusions that, from their perspective, should seem sensible, well-reasoned, and with solid chances of success; instead, they simply disregard possibilities they should logically be considering but which the reader knows are dead ends, or they benefit from things they could not have known at the time they acted. That hurts immersion because it gives the heroes victories, both tactical and moral, that they simply haven’t earned. Shinsou’s control of Machia is a particularly egregious example.

Okay, so I'm having a bit of trouble following the first half of what you just typed there (english is not my main language, so that doesn't help), but I think I got it(?): You're saying that when a choice is going to lead to a dead end, the heroes conveniently don't follow it, even though it would've been a logically sound decision and no one from the readership would've faulted them from making said choice, even though we the readers already know it's a waste of time (well, a lot of readers would give them shit about it, actually). Did I get it right?

To be brief about it (because I’ve talked about this at length elsewhere), I don’t think the heroes should have known where all the PLF bases were, I don’t think they should have been as effective in disordered mass combat as the PLF, I think the advisors should have put up a better fight in all cases, and I think there should have been enough members of the PLF in significant positions of influence or power that the HPSC couldn’t uncover them all, leading to complications when those members realized their organization was under attack.

On one hand, yeah, things didn't get as bad as they could've. In retrospect too many things went smoothly (well, except for the massive property damage, countless dead or injured, and the whole system crumbling, but the story doesn't focus enough on that, so to the readers it feels like things didn't get bad enough).

On the other hand, I remember at the time those chapters where coming out, just how schizophrenic everyone was being. As far as the fandom was predicting, it was going to be revealed that the PLF had actually known that Hawks was spying on them the whole time, so they had been prepared for the heroes attack. But Hawks actually knew that the PLF knew that he was spying on them, so he had infromed the heroes of all the counter measures the PLF had prepared to resist the attack. But in another twist, it would be revealed that the PLF knew that Hawks knew that they knew that he was spying on them, so they fed him false information. But then things get even CRAZIER when it's revealed that Hawks knew that the PLF knew that he knew that they knew that he...

You get where I'm going?

I'm kinda glad things didn't get THAT complicated in terms of both sides one upping eachother.

That has repercussions going forward, as well: heroes clearing the board of all the (named) PLF members save Skeptic leaves the bulk of villain forces in the subsequent arcs to be prison escapees, and man, if the PLF’s moral nuance has been squandered, the depiction of the prison escapees is even worse.

I don't know how controversial this is going to be for you, but imo, the MLA already lost it's moral nuance from the moment they got absorved into the LoV. I firmly believe the MLA should've remained a completely separate faction that the heroes had to deal with on top with having to deal with the LoV and AfO.

Because a lot of things get muddled with having the MLA and LoV becoming a single group. For example, I would see a lot of villain enthusiasts being discontent with how Horikoshi wasn't devoting any time in the story to have Shigaraki, Dabi and Toga "spread their message/agenda". But the thing is, the LoV doesn't have a "message". Shigaraki, Dabi and Toga are all mentally and emotionally unwell individuals lashing out at the world for the pain they've been through. They don't have some agenda or plan for a "brighter future".

The MLA are the ones with a concept for what they want the future to be. What society they dream of. Sure, the fact that it's based around Social Darwinism is off putting (and it has some little touches of fascism), but at least it's a conceived idea and plan for a different societal structure.

I don't believe any of the original LoV members are in a mental state where they could, or would even be interested in envisioning some "new society". Maybe Spinner, but his whole character is him jumping into causes that only sound good on paper without actually understanding them or fully believing in them, so I don't think he'd be able to (or want to) either.

I have significantly more issues with the second one, but most of that boils down to the fact that the divide and conquer/Tempt and Trap plan feels crueler, meaner, and much more openly aimed at extrajudicial murder.

Mmmh. Interesting. What exactly is "crueler" about divide and conquer? I'm assuming that you're referring to specific beats in the story and not the strategy in itself. Because it is a sound strategic move. And had the story been better at making the heroes feel outnumbered it would even be the only logical course to take, and the one that would give them a fighting chance.

And like, that would all be fine and in-character for Hero Society in general and Hawks, the main planner, specifically, but with Deku, Shouto and Uraraka all starting to think Save Villains thoughts, and fresh off the traitor reveal, the kids should never have been as collectively okay with the second war’s tactics as the story has presented them as being.

Once more, this is probably something I'm missing. But why should the kids have been opposed to the plan? Again, I'm guessing you're referring to specific parts in the plan, I just can't figure what it is you're referring to.

To echo an older complaint, good god, what universe is Horikoshi living in that he thinks the people that converted a place of learning into an arena they call a “coffin in the sky” are the heroes?

Maybe he didn't make the connection? It wasn't supposed to be taken literally? It's just a name to sound cool and dramatic? I don't know. There's many things that sound wrong to us that to the japanese probably don't sound wrong due to the language barrier, or because they don't have the same perception as us.

Like, remember we're talking about the man that introduced the kickass hero name "Alien Queen" for one of the female characters just as a little movie reference, and then instead he gave her the less respectable name "Pinky". And I'm still mad about that, btw.

I’m not sure from this if you’re explaining how you read Hose Face’s attack on Midnight at the time, or if you’re maintaining that that’s an accurate read

I'm explaining that's how I had read it. That's why I asked you for clarification. I wasn't trying to claim that was fact.

Also, in the thematic/meta sense, I expect the heroes to either conduct themselves as heroes—admirable, upright, heroic—or face the narrative consequences when they fail to live up to that ideal.

And what is that "hero" ideal, for you? Are we talking Superman levels of altruism, with complete lack of self preservation, or nothing that extreme? I already know that's not the case, but I just wanted to pose the question anyway to get your thoughts. Cause even though the story sells Midoriya's behaviour as "truly heroic", that level of self destruction just for the sake of others is deeply concerning.

It reminds me how Stain's ideology is just plain wrong.

I kinda wish the story had focused on that. It would've been interesting being simultaneously presented how while the system dehumanizes "villains", fanatical and extreme ideologies such as Stain's also dehumanize heroes. The angle of both heroes and villains being victims feels like something that should've been followed more.

But I don't know. Anyway.

The hyper-encapsulated version of this conundrum is the recurring idea that attacking Shigaraki never actually prevents Shigaraki from coming back worse and more dangerous next time; the heroes are never going to achieve a different result by attacking him again but harder this time, and that’s why Deku is set up to finally try something different.[3] I would just like it if what’s true on the micro-level could even be attempted on the macro-level. Or, in other words, if the narrative is going to tell us that saving villains is the correct path, it can’t only demonstrate that for the villains with known-to-the-heroes sympathetic backstories.

That's actually a thing I don't get at all (or at least didn't, until the most recent chapters. Oof. Although, honestly can't say I'm surprised). The whole concept of "saving villains". What does that mean, actually? I'm interested in hearing what your take might be, since you have a nuanced take on the story and characters, even if you lean more towards the villains, you still take into account that they're criminals and their actions are not okay. Almost everyone else has too biased of an opinion, everyone leans in too heavily to one side or the other, and that's just not realistic or goes completely against what the themes of the story are. What does "saving the villains" mean to you?

The reason why I can't wrap my head around the whole thing is because there are some questions that I just can't decipher. Does it mean they all get to go free and face no consequence for their crimes, and people act as if nothing happened? That doesn't sound sensible. And if they do face consequences. Doesn't that directly undo and oppose the whole "saving villains" thing? Or is it fine? Are you still saving them if they face justice, or is granting them complete amnesty required?

I just can't understand it. So that's why I would like to know what "saving the villains" entails, in your view.

I would just like it if what’s true on the micro-level could even be attempted on the macro-level. Or, in other words, if the narrative is going to tell us that saving villains is the correct path, it can’t only demonstrate that for the villains with known-to-the-heroes sympathetic backstories.

Yeah, but how do you achieve that, narratively? And how do you reach someone if you don't know them?

How could a high school student reach a fanatical member of a shadowy cult hell-bent on establishing a new world order?

As we saw in chapter 383, the Skull Mask villain completely ignored Mina's words. And I don't think there's anything she could've said that would've swayed him to surrender peacefully.

I just don't know if it's feasible to get every single criminal to stop with only words and diplomacy. Rehabilitation should be possible (for those that are willing to be rehabilitated at least), but you're still gonna run into criminals that simply will refuse to surrender and will require to be incapacitated.

If I had to take a guess as to why Horikoshi’s so staunchly avoided letting Mina cut loose—other than regressive gender politics—I’d say it’s that acid simply feels nastier or more morally dubious than fire. Fire has positive as well as negative connotations; acid’s a lot more, shall we say, unilateral in the collective imagination, especially given what’s going to turn up if you run a web search for “acid attacks.”

Yes, that's exactly what I was trying to say. That's what I meant when I said that it's harder to dowmplay. I was referring to the moral implications.

Perhaps, then, because readers are somewhat conditioned to think of acid as particularly dangerous and nasty compared to fire, and because there’s a limit to how morally dubious Horikoshi is willing to (consciously) write the students, especially the girls, Mina’s sharply limited in how she’s allowed to use her acid.

Well, can't say I fault him for doing that. I would imagine the majority of the readers, if not all of them, would give Mina a lot of shit if Horikoshi wrote her using her acid more freely. It makes me sad. I imagine everyone would be wishing for her to suffer a horrible and gruesome demise, and actively rooting against her at every opportunity.

And in case you think I'm talking crazy, let me remind you that a considerable portion of the fandom gave Mina shit for "torturing Mineta". So if people hated on her for what was essentially just a silly slapstick gag that you're not meant to take seriously, then I can imagine the fandom would really be calling for her head if she used her acid to attack in fights.

That honestly made me so fricking mad. In case you're wondering what I'm talking about, people were giving Mina hate for rightfully punishing Mineta after he pulled one of his usual pervy schemes and deliverately took advantage of her in a moment of vulnerability. When Mineta harrases the girls and is a total pig they go like "it's just a joke, don't take it so seriously", but then the ridiculous slapstick moment that is the obvious punchline to the whole joke of Mineta being a pervert, THAT they decide to take seriously.

It honestly feels like there's some sort of conspiracy against Mina. Seriously, all of the other girls in the class have physically punished Mineta whenever he was being a total pig, and no one batted an eye but then when Mina does it everyone suddenly calls her a vicious monster for getting angry at him over a "little accident" and that she's being ungrateful to Mineta after he "selflessly" saved her. Did they actually miss the part where Mineta openly states that he PLANNED to smash into Mina's breasts?

I swear, this fandom makes me so fucking mad. 😤

That’s a big oof, all right. I know about the Midnight non-connection and the issue of Mina’s anti-vengeance words having first been delivered by Shouji and relayed to the audience by Koda (it being his flashback, rather than Shouji’s), but I didn’t know there was no indication of Kiri-Mina connection until after his flashback. Wowzers.

The only connection between Mina and Kirishima prior to his flashback was that both of their character infos mentioned that they went to the same pre school. That's literally it.

I will have to disagree with Reddit User That Guy that Shinsou’s quirk should be viewed as less villainous than Bakugou’s. It sounds like he was conflating heteromorphobia with the bias against villains/"villainous" quirks, and while there is overlap, they’re still distinct categories. Shinsou’s quirk inherently subordinates one’s physical body, allowing him to force his targets to act against their will, or potentially take the fall for things they didn’t willingly do. Of course people are nervous about it or think it’s more villainous than heroic!

The guy wasn't correlating "villainy" to heteromorphia, actually. He just simply couldn't get it into his head that mind controlling someone is a morally questionable thing to do. He was saying that Bakugo, Tokoyami and Mina should receive prejudice instead because their Quirks are destructive. He was even suggesting that Shinso's Quirk would be super valuable to be used during interrogations. I'm no lawyer, but mind controling someone during an interrogation doesn't sound like something that would fly in a court of law.

Even Dabi’s fire is that ethereal blue, like spirit fires, instead of everyday orange-red!

Dabi's fire is actually blue because it burns hotter 🤓. Like the fire from the stove in an oven. I know you know that already, I'm just being silly.

Ahaha, very fair. Honestly, Class A would have benefited tremendously from more kids with bite to them. A Mina whose competitiveness had some real fervor to it, or a Mina who had some heaviness in her backstory she was faking her way through dealing with, would have been a good contribution to that.

That I'm not so sure of. Like, a lot of people complain that the heroes are too boring, and say that the villains are more interesting and that's why the readers tend to root for the villains more.

But I honestly just don't get how having the heroes be more flawed would make the readers like them more and root for them more.

Like, in my mind, if people already don't care for them when they're perfect goody two shoes, then I don't see why if they had actual flaws or shitty personality traits people wouldn't be actively rooting against them. You get what I'm saying?

Like if Momo was your typical cold hearted, rich mean girl, or Mina was an annoying and disrespectful gossip that invades people's privacy and spreads nasty rumors, or if Todoroki was racist towards heteromorphs, I don't see how the fandom would like them more. I think they would despise them. Would you like them more? Would you actually find yourself rooting for them like that when they're facing adversity?

I just can't see it.

Like sure, Bakugo and Endeavor are some of the most popular characters and they're heroes with serious flaws. But they're also the two most hated characters in the story. Even though Bakugo's bullying of Midoriya hasn't really been relevant in the story since ages, people still won't let that go.

That none of the students other than Shouji have ever even imagined that heteromorphs can still be victimized in this way represents an over-the-top ignorance that I have to read as either a bleak condemnation of the shallow focuses of heroes or reflective of Horikoshi’s own beliefs about discrimination and the understanding of it possessed by those who aren’t immediately threatened by it.

Or maybe Horikoshi doesn't know how to write a plot about discrimination. It could also be that the japanese perspective is so different from the western perspective that we were never going to get a story that completely aligned with our beliefs.

But I'm no expert, so I don't know.

Well, I'd still say that, feeling as strongly as I do about how morally dubious this whole second war has been, even if I were telling this scene with the same components, I probably wouldn’t be writing towards a hero success because I don’t think the heroes have earned it.

Oh, interesting. So you would write the villains winning here? I have so many questions about that.

Like, what would happen then? Would Midoriya and the other kids flee the country and train for years and return to free Japan after a time skip? I remember that was a popular theory and prediction that many readers had back when the first part of the war was happening.

If that's what you would do. What would happen to Japan then? Like, what would the villains do with the country? If you actaully have something thought up, I'd actually be interested in hearing it, since I've seen you have pretty nuanced takes.

Although, there are a couple of other things in the story that you'd have to change to allow for a time skip, because as the villains are in the actual story, if they win I don't see how there would be a Japan left to save years later. You'd completely have to rewrite Shigaraki, since his main and only goal is to destroy everything.

Also, if the PLF does create some new form of "society", I imagine it wouldn't be some perfect utopia where everything is good and fine. I actually picture them turning into a worse HPSC.

The latter would offer a less awful read on Hose Face’s personality: He’s not bringing up the death out of pure sadism, but as a psychological tactic. The former would give him some real characterization and motives while also giving the kids something to argue against, rather than the easiest possible reaction of, “Hay did u kno Might Makes Right iz bad?”

Mocking someone's death in front of their loved ones as a psychological tactic is less awful how? 🤔 Just wondering.

So, in a scenario where Machia is up and not falling prey to Shinsou, but rather prioritizing getting to New Master Shigaraki, and the PLF is likewise loyal to Shigaraki and not AFO, I’d just let it work, because I’d be slanting this whole combat towards an overall heroic loss. Give Mina a face to obsess over until next time but also let Kirishima get a good eyeful of it so he at least knows there’s a serious problem with his best friend and one of his hero inspirations.

"A face to obsess over until next time"? So she'd get to try again further on and kick his butt later?

Also, and this is likely just me having come to resent Kirishima for how Mina was used as a tool to further his character development at the expense of hers, but I don't like that last part much. To my cynical mind, it sounds like another "let's make Mina look bad so Kirishima can look good" situation. I know that's not what you meant, and it's all on me and my pessimism, but I can't help it.

Mineta would have a chance to weigh in, too, as he's a good middle ground: he's got his own anger about Midnight, who he adored, but he's also worried about how that anger looks on Mina. Mineta always worries about his classmates, but he's shared a pretty fair amount of incidental screentime with Mina specifically over the course of the series, ranging from her sweetly offering to put a harem moment into the band performance just for him to stuff like the Clockwork Orange gag, as well as more serious stuff like Mineta being the first one to ask aloud if Midnight's dead, with Mina warmly, and with a confidence it turns out she doesn't truly feel, reassuring him that Midnight's fine.

Can't say I like the sound of that either. Sorry, but because of how the story has always sidelined the girls in favor of the boys, this again to me sounds like "let's give Mineta development by using Mina as a tool to further his character", as well as also sounding like it makes her look bad so he can look good. Just like with Kirishima, I've come to lowkey resent Mineta, specifically for the Clockwork Orange gag that you mentioned. As you could probably tell by my previous venting, I was really annoyed at people giving Mina hate for it. So I'd rather not see her interacting with him either. Sorry. 😓

I've said before that Mineta should have had more to do in the confrontation with Midnight's killer, but that's not just about his fondness for her. It's also about him being the first to question if the heroes didn't just make the whole situation worse, and, if Mina really took Midnight's death so hard it had her thinking about revenge, it should also have been about Mina and Mineta's shared experience surrounding that death.

Since I'm not sold on the idea of Mina and Mineta interacting, how about instead we see Mina and Aoyama interacting? That could be interesting, huh?

His relationship with Mina—the ways he’s trying to live up to her example, as well as his desire to support her when she falters—is a profound motivator for him, something we see much more explicitly and from his own perspective than we do Mina's feelings about him.

Please don't remind about how Mina is used as a mere tool for Kirishima's character progress. I used to love their relationship, but now I actually resent it. It's even worse because Horikoshi gives Kirishima all the attention and all the cool moments, and then still tries to present him as the underdog when compared to her, which only makes Mina look even worse. SHE SHOULD'VE BEEN THE UNDERDOG! 😤 Every time I see Kirishima praising her I get upset. Feels like the most pàtronicing thing ever, even though I know it's not meant in that way.

That being the case, if anyone were going to be able to make an impression on Hose Face via appealing to his sense of camaraderie and desire for strength, it seems to me that Kirishima has the better groundwork in place to sell the moment, regardless of whether he could successfully “reach” Hose Face in the way that’s being attempted with Shigaraki/Toga/Dabi.

I'd put my money on "not manage to reach him". Not everyone can be talk no jutsu'd

Assuming we’re stuck dealing with him, I’d probably let the Class B kids do it. Have Mount Lady—who was there for the Sludge Villain’s rampage using Bakugou, and therefore knows what Sludgey looks like and that he can possess people—yell for people to stay away from him. Let there be a moment of panic and confusion, where it looks for a moment like a repeat of the mess in Chapter 1 where no one had the exact right answer to deal with him, so no one’s willing to step up.

Then, in a 1-2-3 combo move that reminds everyone why Class B is said to have advanced more quickly than Class A, and just as Sludgey lunges for someone, have Yamagi use Poltergeist to manipulate him into a steel drum barrel being held by Yui, let her shrink it down to a good tight fit before dropping it, then have Juuzo soften the ground to half-sink it, top down, then resolidify the earth, trapping Sludgey for later removal. Ta da, a neat demonstration of the next generation outperforming the old generation when it comes to on-the-fly teamwork and decisive action even when no one individual has the perfect quirk for solving a problem.

So you think class B is better than class A?

Btw, that thing you mentioned with the teamwork actually answers one question I had. I remember, back when Death Arms returned and helped after he had quit, you stated that you loved the premise, but that you were left disappointed that he solved a problem that he was suited for solving.

Now, I gotta be honest. I thought what you wanted was for the heroes to solve problems that they were 100% not the right person to be dealing with. Like someone with a fire Quirk having to put off a fire, or something like that.

I was actaully going to question how that would be possible, since MHA has set up it's power sytem in a very "rock, paper, scissors" sort of way. The only exceptions to this are Deku and Shigaraki, who just do whatever they want. But what you were talking about turned out to not be as extreme as I thought. 😅

Although, I'm gonna play devil's advocate here for a second. Wouldn't the 1-B students trapping the Sludge villain through teamwork still count as the right people with the right Quirks solving the problem they were meant to solve?

Wouldn't it need to be a success from people whose Quirks aren't suited for the job at all, and don't even synergize well when put together?

Then again, that's asking for the impossible. Or just straight up plot armor.

So that just leaves Machia, Mina, and Shinsou. And honestly, rather than having to power through it, I’d rather see Mina, in particular, talk her way out of it.

Me: Asks how they would write Mina's moment better.

Stillness-in-green: Tells me how he would write better moments for everyone except Mina.

Me:

I'm merely joking.

Although it is a little disappointing. This is essentially just Mina doing what she already did once before. There's nothing noteworthy, admirable or impressive about it. I would even dare to say there's no character growth.

I obviously don’t expect her and Machia to wind up breakdancing together when the stakes are as high as they are, but Mina would have at least a bit of an opening—her encounter with Machia in middle school wherein she lied to him about where the Springer Agency is. I don’t for a moment think that Machia’s forgotten her smell—I doubt he forgets anyone’s, though he may or may not care about them otherwise.

For this version of the scene, I’d probably play Machia as more ambivalent—tired of being abandoned over and over again by the people he’s tried so hard to be loyal for, so not immediately inclined to run off after them, open to a bit more dialogue. He doesn’t fall for Shinsou for the same reasons I outlined above, so Shinsou and Mina have to talk Machia into acting—or at least stop him from just rumbling off to bury himself under a mountain for the next decade or two.

I don’t know how they’d go about making that argument. Honestly, I don’t really think there’s anything in the story for Mina or Shinsou to fall back on (by which I mean earlier panels Horikoshi’s assistants can look up and copy/paste into the storyboard to accent a dramatic speech). Maybe they could ask him why he’s so loyal to All For One and find some commonality, either through heteromorph discrimination or bias against villains.

Maybe Machia is torn on his loyalty, betrayed by AFO one too many times to want to help him but not sure where that leaves him on supporting Shigaraki. Hearing this, Mina brings up that AFO is threatening Shigaraki right now, but also that a friend of Mina’s is trying to stop AFO/help Shigaraki,[12] so maybe Machia could help them with that and then decide? Machia doesn’t trust her due to the Springer Agency thing, but that same experience does lead him to believe her when she says she just wants to help people, not hurt them.

That last bit has the benefit of providing an explicit reason for why Mina uses her quirk nigh-exclusively as a watery defense barrier or to take out inanimate objects: She long ago made an active choice not to use her acid against sentient people. This would give her some room for a little motivation-establishing flashback of her own—maybe canonize that theory about her chipperness being at least in part a front!—and provide a nice alternative to the current state of Mina’s narrative, which has spent nearly 400 chapters refusing to allow her the same free hand people like Bakugou and Kaminari take with their quirks for no established reason.

Yeah, I don't know. Doesn't sound like what I would've liked either.

One major problem I immediately see, is that letting Machia go would make her look really bad. I can already imagine the fandom making memes dunking on her, calling her useless and making fun or her for failing everyone and possibly getting multiple people killed by letting Machia traverse across the city.

It wouldn't be the first time it's happened.

Remember in Kirishima's flashback, when she gave Machia random directions? In the anime they actually changed the line. Instead, she gave him directions to a police station. Why did they change it? Idk, maybe Bones and Horikoshi thought it was more responsible of her to send him to the police instead of giving him random directions. Whatever the case, "being responsible" was not what people took out of that.

People begun shitting on her and making jokes about how she got an entire police station killed.

I was so mad. I remember I was looking forward to the anime getting to that part. Finally, one of the only praise worthy things she's gotten to do in the series getting adapted. I couldn't wait to see what people had to say about her, to see them gushing over how she was so brave protecting her friends... and then the fandom reminded me why I fricking hate it here. 😤

This doesn’t give Shinsou much to do, but that’s okay: his moment comes against AFO instead.

Oh, of course. Mina only gets to talk and do nothing heroic. But Shinso gets to face off against the story's Big Bad. Sounds just like something that would happen in the manga.

Don't mind me. I'm just gonna be here, sad.

Just kidding, btw. Well, maybe I'll cry a little.

Yeah, that was kind of what I was hoping for, unfortunately. 😔

Eh, it doesn't matter. It's only natural that you would have difficulty thinking of something for a character that you're not particularly interested in. Thanks anyways. Even though it's not what I would've done for Mina, it was fun reading your ideas.

She can still jump around and dodge a lot while giving her pitch? Maybe she could get a big badass moment later on?

Well, if this had happened in the story, I would've been left expecting for her to still get her badass moment. Cause that wouldn't have looked like one to me. Not after how they did her dirty with chapter 280.

What were you thoughts on that chapter, btw? And has your opinion on it changed with time? What did you think of the color page of chapter 280? I thought it was unintentionally (at least I assume it was unintentional) mocking and patronizing.

Anyway. Now, regarding the whole thing about Midnight's killer and what you said about how you feel about him getting arrested. It's completely understandable that you'd feel that way if you have a bias towards the villains. It makes complete sense. I'm the same way with the characters that I care about (as you've probably noticed from my deranged ramblings 😳. Sorry about those).

Me? I'm glad he's arrested. I just want to have every single plot thread tied up in a neat bow. Leaving Midnight's murder unresolved would be just as disrespectful as her funeral not being addressed, imo. And the way she got killed was already plenty disrespectful. Especially since Torino survived getting turned into a donut.

Disclaimer: I obviously don’t spend much time in the hero-fan circles of the fandom, so this is just my perception. I’d be curious to get your perspective of Kaminari’s relative popularity, rvg!)

Eh, I don't pay much attention to Kaminari, he's alright, but not one of the characters I gravitate towards. But he's one of those characters that you see people calling underrated, and at the same time they have a decent amount of popularity. So I'd say Kaminari is in the middle. He's liked well enough by the fandom, but he's not crazy popular. Probably very popular with fujoshis though.

Then, when the actual traitor reveals landed (first the fake-out and then the real one), fandom deemed Hagakure an ungrateful bitch and Aoyama a whining coward.

Saddly, that would've happened to anyone that ended up being the traitor. The fandom is sucky like that. It's why I used to be so worried Mina would turn out to be the traitor, because I knew it would just get her even more flack.

Mineta is, by any measure, more problematic, and it's even worse that U.A./Aizawa are so blasé about him, but, at least from where I’m standing, he’s still more layered, more compelling, more dynamic, and speaks in more interesting ways to the world around him than Kaminari ever comes close to matching.

Well, you do you. Personally, I still don't like him much (I have my reasons, as I've already told you. They're petty, I know, but they're my reasons).

Having you tell me how you would've written Mina's part differently makes me want to do the same.

Would you be interested in that? I was actually planning on doing it all on this one post, but I've been writing for a while now (the whole day 😱), and I'm getting tired. I kinda feel like I should leave it for another post. Only if you would be interested in such a thing, of course.

There are a couple of things that I would change from the story. Unfortunately I'm not as drawn to the villains as you are, so I don't really have much to say regarding them, so I probably won't have much to say that interest you. Although one big change to the story I would make involves Chitose Kizuki, aka "Curious".

You have seen SalvagesMHA posts about their attempts to give each of the students a nemesis, right? He pits Mina against Curious, which coincidentally is something I was thinking of.

What did you think about that matchup, btw? I thought it sounded very interesting. And I liked the parallels that he drew between the two.

Would it be racist to pit the two characters of color against one another though? 😲. Silly joke. Ignore me, I'm dumb like that.

Anyways, thanks for reading again through my dumb ramblings if you did, and sorry once more for taking several months to reply.

Do let me know your thoughts. Or don't. If you're busy and there's other things you'd rather do, please tell me, so at least I know I shouldn't expect another lengthy reply.

Anyway, Bye. Have a good day, afternoon or night, whichever it is when you're reading this.

More and More on Mina, Machia and the MLA

For my readers other than @randomvongenerico, please have this peremptory list of this very lengthy post's contents to help gauge your interest:

Some more discussion on what is or isn’t, would or wouldn’t be blameworthy about various characters’ actions (or hypothetical actions) during the war arcs.

More discussion about Mina, chiefly about how (and why) her acid powers are handled compared to all the male characters with fire powers, and the way her plot points are poorly set up by the narrative, with the result of shortchanging her development.

Yet More Complaining About How The Story Is Handling Heteromorphobia, this time featuring a compare and contrast on quirk-based bias as it might affect Mina, Bakugou and Tokoyami, as well as a dissection of Shouji’s contention that the only possible way to know about the violent bigotry in the rural areas of the country is to be from them.

Some fairly extensive spitballing in response to questions about how I would have handled the scene at Machia’s prison compound if I were writing it, as well as why I have trouble conceiving of anything Hero Society could do to Hose Face for killing Midnight that would actually feel like justice.

A little bit of basic talk about Tumblr, its functionality and some relevant slang.

Buried at the very bottom, I stand up in front of God and everyone and explain in brief why Kaminari is a worse character than Mineta, with some particular focus on Kaminari as emblematic of the conflict between what the series tells us versus what it shows us about the legality of quirk use in careers other than heroism.

Hi again, rvg. Because it's been forever since our last post exchange, let me say again that I appreciate the apology and want to thank you for being such a good sport about it. Last time I had something like your initial response, that person told me straight out that they’d been condescending and antagonistic on purpose, though they regretted having done so after my reply. I appreciated the regret, but would have preferred they take a day or two to cool off in the first place! That’s the experience I was bringing to your comments, but I’ll keep in mind what you said about lack of experience with initiating chats and Tumblr in general.

For what it’s worth, yeah, there is a character limit on both asks and replies, so that’s the trouble you were running into there! You might also consider using a cut next time before a really long post, though if you’re on mobile, I recall that being a difficult-if-not-impossible feature to find, and it’s not as important as it used to be ever since Tumblr’s started adding default Expand drop-downs on long posts. That aside, welcome (belatedly) to Tumblr! I hope you find some good people to chat fandom with; I’m always open to some back and forth about things I know well enough to talk about, though I’m, er, decidedly unprompt with replies. And, as noted, definitely more of a villain fan, so probably not the most fun person for discussions on the kids.

That said, to your replies! Other readers should note that, while I wrote all this roughly in response-order to rvg’s points, I reorganized everything after the fact to group together the broad topics. I’ve tried to provide some bare minimum context for anything that would otherwise be too much of a zero-context non-sequitur, but if anyone wants to see rvg’s comments in their intended order and context, their reblog can be found here. Otherwise, hit the jump!

Would You Have Held It Against ___?

But would you hold it against Mina if she had actually done more substancial damage to Machia? Let’s say, not the face, but Machia’s fingers instead of his claws. Machia still doens’t feel any pain. Would you chastise Mina for it? Even though she’s actively saving Mt Lady by doing that?

It’s hard to say for sure, since I imagine that if Mina’s acid had hit Machia’s fingers instead of his claws, we probably would just have seen them abraded and singed, like how Dabi’s fire damage was drawn on Hawks, not with chunks of skin melting off and exposing naked bone. Physical damage in BNHA just doesn’t work like that, at least not against named characters. If Mina were doing realistic damage, I imagine everyone else would be too, and then I’d be criticizing all of them, because, holy shit, that is not okay to do to people, any people, and especially not when you’re acting as an agent of the state.

But hypothetically, no, I think I would be more lenient even if she did do concrete and permanent damage to Machia’s hands, and it’s because she’d be doing it to save Mount Lady. Shinsou could have taken control of Machia and then just had him lie still while whoever was in charge of this facility redrugged him,[1] and that would have been fine by me—disappointing, sure, but only because Machia’s interesting and I’d like to get more on him than we do, not because I’d be critiquing Shinsou’s actions.

It’s specifically Shinsou and the rest choosing to weaponize Machia against AFO that I object to. Mina harming Machia would be taking that action herself, to protect someone that’s right in front of her, risking no one’s life but her own in doing so. Shinsou throwing Machia up against AFO—which he’d made the decision to do before hearing Machia’s angry grumbling—is risking Machia’s life, without Machia’s consent. And it’s not even for the sake of saving anyone, at least not anyone that’s right there in that moment—AFO is fleeing.

It would have been anticlimactic as hell, so obviously that was never going to happen, but there’s no reason the heroes couldn’t try for it, you know? Instead of the bone-headed decision to just hand AFO his most loyal soldier on a silver platter on the thin chances that they could either prevent the brainwashing from being broken at all or that Machia’s upset would translate to both the capability and willingness to attack his master.

Speaking of Monoma. Since we were talking about the morality of Shinso’s Quirk. Would you say Monoma using his Quirk to copy a villain’s Quirk and use it on him and his allies, would also qualify as something that should be criticized? I’m curious.

Nah, I don’t think so. Taking an opponent’s weapon and using it to subdue him is a perfectly valid tactic, especially since Monoma’s method doesn’t actually deprive his opponent of their weapon, just replicates it for his own use. It really all does boil down to Shinsou’s method forcing people to fight and hurt their own allies. Mina causing Machia physical harm, Monoma using a villain’s own weapon against them, even the heroes’ surprise attack: none of those are remotely on the same “holy shit that is a literal war crime” level as what the heroes planned in advance to have Shinsou do to Machia, and what he willingly agreed to do well before he found out that Machia was not as opposed as the heroes thought.

I mean, I get what you’re getting at. I’m just wondering. If the heroes hadn’t launched a suprise attack, and had left the villains do the first move and come to them, would you then be criticizing them for being irresponsible and incompetent instead? Sorry for going on a tangent, it’s just something I’ve noticed when it comes to readers criticizing the heroes. It’s either people complaining that the heroes are too ruthless, or that they’re too nice, naive or not pragmatic enough.

(This is in response to some discussion of the heroes' actions in the first war arc's raid on the villa+hospital lab, not the second war's divide and conquer plan.)

I actually don’t really have a huge problem with the surprise attack in principle—I might criticize Cementoss ripping the building in half when there could well have been people on those upper floors, but otherwise, it’s hard to imagine what else the heroes could generally have done to deal with the numbers they were dealing with. I mean, it’s basically just a scaled-up version of the attack on the Hassaikai base, and I don’t have any moral quibbles with the way the heroes and police handled that.

Rather, my problem with the raid is that I thought the heroes were too effective given the way their forces and those of the PLF had been set up. It’s not the tactic itself that’s the problem (though individual acts of worse violence within the attack, like Hawks killing Twice or the attempts to outright murder Shigaraki in the tube, are still an issue), it’s the finality, the totality, of how effective the attack was.

As it is, the heroes handily win every fight they have with the sole exception of Gigantomachia and Shigaraki. The PLF is neatly swept off the table save for a few “remnants,” with no attention given to the practical difficulties of detaining tens of thousands of combatants with no motivation to let themselves be quietly arrested, much less how the justice system is going to handle trying and sentencing them all. That has repercussions going forward, as well: heroes clearing the board of all the (named) PLF members save Skeptic leaves the bulk of villain forces in the subsequent arcs to be prison escapees, and man, if the PLF’s moral nuance has been squandered, the depiction of the prison escapees is even worse.

The raid is, of course, only the first of two big surprise attacks the heroes manage. I have significantly more issues with the second one, but most of that boils down to the fact that the divide and conquer/Tempt and Trap plan feels crueler, meaner, and much more openly aimed at extrajudicial murder. And like, that would all be fine and in-character for Hero Society in general and Hawks, the main planner, specifically, but with Deku, Shouto and Uraraka all starting to think Save Villains thoughts, and fresh off the traitor reveal, the kids should never have been as collectively okay with the second war’s tactics as the story has presented them as being. To echo an older complaint, good god, what universe is Horikoshi living in that he thinks the people that converted a place of learning into an arena they call a “coffin in the sky” are the heroes?

I was under the impression Midnight was off to the side from where the MLA minions were passing by, and the Skull Mask guy took a detour to kill her.

I’m not sure from this if you’re explaining how you read Hose Face’s attack on Midnight at the time, or if you’re maintaining that that’s an accurate read, so just to clarify, here are the panels in question:

As you can see, the PLF guys’ path through the woods has them coming in from directly behind Midnight. Hose Face calls out that he’ll take care of her once they get close enough for the reader to make out who they are, at which point he gets out in front of Scarecrow and hits Midnight from the same direction as their initial approach: directly behind. He most certainly doesn’t take a detour of any kind, but rather chooses the action that is going to get his group through the obstacle with the least amount of time and effort possible—entirely his prerogative as the highest-ranked member of the Guerilla Warfare regiment on-scene.

But if we classify this entire conflict as a war, wouldn’t that mean that both sides are free to use whatever tacticts and methods they feel like as long as it’s not a war crime?

If we classify it as war is irrelevant if the side aligned with the current ruling authority hasn’t done so themselves. I imagine the Japanese government is in no hurry to validate the terrorists on an international stage by acknowledging that they’re numerous and dangerous enough to declare actual, formal war against! Calling it a war drags in a whole pile of wartime conventions Japan has signed numerous treaties about; it grants the opposing side some legitimacy as a cohesive, organized force that will need to be negotiated with down the line. As long as you’re calling it a police action, you don’t have to negotiate shit until you get to the plea deals! Team Hero never declared war here, so yeah, I still expect them to carry out their plans and actions accordingly.

Also, in the thematic/meta sense, I expect the heroes to either conduct themselves as heroes—admirable, upright, heroic—or face the narrative consequences when they fail to live up to that ideal. The hyper-encapsulated version of this conundrum is the recurring idea that attacking Shigaraki never actually prevents Shigaraki from coming back worse and more dangerous next time; the heroes are never going to achieve a different result by attacking him again but harder this time, and that’s why Deku is set up to finally try something different.[3] I would just like it if what’s true on the micro-level could even be attempted on the macro-level. Or, in other words, if the narrative is going to tell us that saving villains is the correct path, it can’t only demonstrate that for the villains with known-to-the-heroes sympathetic backstories.

General Mina Points

Regarding your analysis about Mina’s acid being underpowered because it’s harder/less believable to downplay the effects of acid than fire/explosions/etc. in Shounen Damage Logic, I think we’ll have to agree to disagree. I don’t see anything wrong with just showing the Nebulous Abrasion Damage that’s the ubiquitous, default mode of illustrating nonspecific injury in this comic for Mina’s acid the same way we get it for the boys.

I can see your argument, but like, just for example, when Endeavor first encounters a Noumu, he bathes it in fire under the assumption that it’s a normal villain and then says he’s surprised it’s still up because he’s never seen anyone stay conscious after that attack. Bathing someone in flames in real life is not a “knock them out” kind of attack; it’s a “severe burn ward for months” kind of attack. If Endeavor’s been throwing that around at random criminals for thirty years, we are plainly very far away from realistic damage, and I’d be perfectly satisfied with treating Mina’s acid the same way.

To look at it in JRPG logic (and I don’t care if AFO’s admiration stems from a comic; that comic was clearly playing with Dragon Quest tropes), acid is pretty much the same thing as poison, and poison effects are chiefly the realm of enemy characters. It smacks of underhandedness or cowardice in anything more cognizant than roving toxic plants or venomous beasts. Certainly you see the occasional party member specialized for status effects who can inflict poison damage on enemies, but I can’t readily think of a main character that does.[4]

That said, I got a very hearty laugh from, “Just look at Dabi. He can’t even kill himself with fire,” so thank you very much for that.

It’s as if Horikoshi only ever figures out what to do with Mina retroactively instead of in the moment (e.g. there were no interactions between Kirishima and Mina until AFTER Kirishima’s backstory, we never got any hint that would connect Mina’s and Midnight’s characters until AFTER Midnight died, when Mina speaks about not giving in to vengeance she references SHOJI’S WORDS which happened in HIS FLASHBACK, and then this whole chapter is technically a flashback too when you think about it).

But also, in one of my comments I had left a link to a post analizing Kirishima’s and Mina’s characters and their dynamic. I don’t know if you checked it out or not, but it was a pretty interesting read. If you did read it, let me know your thoughts on it.

Apologies for not responding to that; I hadn't clicked it because I just wasn't terribly interested in the topic. Having checked it now, I can say that I'm unlikely to read it because I've encountered this person's meta before and, even at a glance, found it to be flawed for reasons I am not comfortable gabbing about in a public space. I'm sure they make some valid points, but I will have to respectfully bow out of reading and commenting on it here.

But what about Mina telling Kirishima that “now they’re even” though?

(This is re: my contention that Mina saves Shinsou, not Kirishima, from the Sludge Villain, and that Kirishima was never in any danger from the Sludge Villain.)

I mean, she can say it, but that doesn’t mean I have to believe that she/Horikoshi are accurately portraying the stakes involved.

Just for the record, you’re not saying that Mina not giving in to revenge isn’t noble in and of itself. What she does is indeed good. You’re saying it doesn’t have any emotional weight because Mina has always been a morally good character, so you never thought she would ever give in to revenge in the first place. Correct?

Correct! As I’ve said, Mina has perfectly healthy emotional regulation: when she experiences negative emotions like anger, guilt, or grief, she doesn’t dwell on them; she vents them to friends and finds healthy ways to channel them into bettering herself and the world and people around her. She’s got a great head on her shoulders! But all of that means that her giving into anger about Midnight’s death was never a remotely convincing threat to me. Of course she wouldn’t; there’s never been a moment that foreshadowed that she was in the slightest danger of harboring that kind of obsessive, vindictive grudge.

That being the case, it feels unfair of Horikoshi to pin a big dramatic monologue on a desire for revenge which Mina was never shown to possess to any greater degree than any of her classmates. She’s one of the last hero-aligned characters I’d have guessed if you’d asked me who was going to get a beat like that in the endgame.

(To anticipate the obvious question, Aizawa would have been my first guess; he’s even been written for it properly in the way he and Mic have responded to Shigaraki—clearly holding a grudge for something that would have happened to their classmate when Shigaraki was all of six years old. Conversely, while plenty of the 1-A kids could have believably carried a “struggling with vengefulness” plot if they’d been written with it from earlier on, I don’t think there’s a single one of them who feels like a good match for it in their current incarnations. Iida’s moved on from his Stain days too smoothly to buy it from him, Bakugou’s only real obsession is Deku, and Deku already had a whole arc of being obsessively negative and driven by dark desires to find and deal with a villain. If any student was going to show up to the fight with bloody-minded revenge on the brain, it should have been Shishikura.)

But What About the Heteromorphobia, Tho’?

(Warning: Incoming off-topic harping about Shouji and the inane resolution of the hospital attack.)

I have even seen someone make a post on Reddit arguing that Shinso being discriminated for his Quirk makes no sense because it’s not villanous, and that it makes more sense for characters like Bakugo, Mina and Tokoyami to be discriminated because they have more villanous looking Quirks. I don’t really agree with everything that guy said. But he did bring up a good point. How come Mina doesn’t get side eyes from people due to her Quirk like Shinso does?

Conversely, the Number 2 Hero has been attacking criminals with fire for decades now, so I think the BNHA general public is more than ready to accept a hero whose quirk lets him fire off explosions. The commonly accepted idea in the fandom is that “flashy and offensive quirks” are the ones most valued in heroes. I think that’s a bit oversimplified—Crust was the Number 6 Hero and his quirk was neither—but it’s certainly true that purely elemental quirks (fire, lightning, wind, earth-shaping), no matter how damage-dealing they are, don’t tend to get treated as villainous in nature. The real “villainous quirks” in the series tend to be the ones that are more creepy, dark, invasive, or impure. Even Dabi’s fire is that ethereal blue, like spirit fires, instead of everyday orange-red!

Bakugou’s quirk is much closer to the “pure elemental” category than anything very villainous and, indeed, when he got kidnapped from the training camp and that one journalist was suggesting that he might have turned to villainy already, he based that suggestion on Bakugou’s behavior, his conduct during the Sports Festival. Nothing was said about his quirk at all, but rather his recent public demonstrations of violence and “mental instability.” That’s perfectly consistent, I think, with the biases we see elsewhere.[5]

Tokoyami has the potential to get hit by both the villainous quirk bias and the heteromorphobia, but I think Japan seeing ravens as emblematic of wisdom rather than death and rot would mean his bird head is less ill-seen there than it would be in the West. I don’t think it would take much more than the proverbial One Bad Day to get him to a very bad place indeed, though—there’s a reason Mr. Compress judged him a good potential recruit! Tokoyami was rescued before it became an issue, but if he hadn’t been, I’m sure we would have seen the same journalist mentioned above making similar statements about Tokoyami and his dark quirk/mien.

Mina’s an interesting case study in not experiencing a lot of the same sorts of discrimination others in similar situations do. She has three distinct heteromorphic traits—her skin, her eyes, her horns—as well as having a potentially extremely deadly quirk which, as I discussed above, could easily attract judgmental side-eye because of the cultural view of acid. So why doesn’t she seem to face discrimination?

As I said in the post you’re replying to—and as you mentioned is a common headcanon—I think a lot of it boils down to her relentlessly chipper attitude. If she had, for example, Mustard’s personality, or Muscular’s drive to violence, would people be quicker to say that her Acid is a “villain quirk”? If she glared more, would people be more creeped out by her eyes? It’s possible, I think, that we would actually see her facing some of this if we spent more time with her, but the narrative doesn’t make that time, at least not anywhere Kirishima can see it.

Well, if I had to guess, I’m sure you would say that would make her a more interesting character. You might get to be interested in her character, which then would probably mean you would be even more upset and disappointed with this chapter.

It really sucks that Horikoshi had to justify Shoji being the only one to experience prejudice by clarifying that heteromorph discrimination is only still prevalent in small villages. I feel like it robbed characters like Tsuyu, Mina, Tokoyami and Koda of being part of an actual narrative and get more depth and development.

Before I talk about this, let me clarify something: Shouji’s line about what his classmates know about heteromorphic discrimination is an example of very crucial nuance being wildly different between translations.

The fan scanlation suggested that Tokoyami and Koda, who grew up in cities, must feel like such violent heteromorphobia resembles something out of a textbook, with the implication that the textbook in question is a history book. They’re presumed to think that blood-cleansing rituals and children with scars like Shouji are artifacts of a terrible past, not a modern-day concern.

The official Via release suggested that Tokoyami and Koda could know that stuff like this still happens in rural areas because they might have read about it in textbooks. They’re presumed to know that such rituals and scarred children do exist as modern concerns, but only out in the boonies.

Those are completely different propositions! Which one was accurate was far beyond my capability to judge, but the official translation did feel a little off to me, so, as I usually do in such situations, I brought it to my trusty Translator Sis. For possibly the first time ever,[6] she told me that Viz had this one wrong—that Shouji’s implication, to her eye, was indeed that T&K would think such violence was limited to the past, not that it was limited to rural areas.

That established, I was actually talking about that line from Shouji with a friend the other day! I was aggravated that the writing would portray city-born heteromorphs as so oblivious to the problems facing them in other parts of the country when that seems so counter to my (American) perception of the ways members of threatened groups communicate danger to one another.

My friend reminded me that silence is a much more common Japanese way of addressing (or attempting to address) minority discrimination: trying to make a problem go away by starving it of conversational oxygen, treating oppression like an infection that needs to be quarantined until it dies out on its own. In that light, it’s entirely possible that Tokoyami and Koda might not know this stuff because no one around them thinks it would be helpful to tell them if it’s not a problem they’re directly dealing with. A lot of people propose the same approach to burakumin issues in real life, for example.

Also, technically Shouji doesn’t say that Koda and Tokoyami don’t experience heteromorphobia at all, just that the idea of fear and hatred that extreme, that violent, must seem like something out of a textbook, rather than something that happens here and now in certain parts of the country. Also too, Tokoyami and Koda are teenagers; I can forgive them not having much understanding of life outside their own circle of experience.

That all said, it still feels more than a little telling that Horikoshi thinks everyone in Shouji’s whole class, including and especially all the other heteromorphs, could never have heard in their entire lives about acts of bigotry-driven violence against heteromorphs being carried out in the here and now.

While it’s true that silence is a widely accepted way to address these sorts of issues in Japan, they’re hardly universal! Activist groups are out there trying to raise awareness, trying to get their issues on the floor of the Diet in hopes of getting laws passed about them. There’s not some kind of media blackout on talking about it, and, indeed, I’ve read any number of articles from Japanese publications online covering such topics.

In BNHA, however, silence does seem to be universal.[7]

No one but Shouji is from a remote enough place that they knew about violent heteromorphobia. No one recognized it as a thing that e.g. disadvantages heteromorphic heroes in the public approval ratings. No one tripped over a magazine article about it and got curious enough to look the topic up online. No one’s heroic mentors or family members have talked to them about it (particularly egregious with Koda, given the fairly strong implication that his own mother suffered it). No one had a patch of morbid interests (Tokoyami) that led them to dabble in reading about real-life horror stories of human hatred, or an interest in how their society came to be that might have led them to reading about the CRC and realizing it still exists in the modern day.

They attend a hero school, and yet Shouji seems to be the only one with an inkling that there are heteromorphs out there who need, and have been needing, heroes.

That’s all a lot to ask of the reader, but what really pushes it past plausibility to me is what happened with the Ordinary Woman. How close to the surface must violent heteromorphobia be even in the cities if the current state of Japan brings it all right back into the open in a matter of weeks? That none of the students other than Shouji have ever even imagined that heteromorphs can still be victimized in this way represents an over-the-top ignorance that I have to read as either a bleak condemnation of the shallow focuses of heroes or reflective of Horikoshi’s own beliefs about discrimination and the understanding of it possessed by those who aren’t immediately threatened by it.

Whichever is the case, and with Spinner’s higher brain functions out of commission, it leaves Shouji carrying the whole plot on his back and he just can’t do it, both because the audience hasn’t had enough time with him to buy it and because the answers the series uses him as a vehicle to deliver are facile, victim-blaming nonsense.

...And here’s where I admit that even if the hospital attack had climaxed with a whole bunch of heteromorphs from Class A and B and the Pro Hero ranks acknowledging the mob’s feelings while pleading with them to not give into hatred and to stand down, I would still have issues if the resolution didn’t involve concrete suggestions and promises about how the heroes would address the mob’s grievances going forward. Which canon very much did not, and just adding more voices to Shouji’s wouldn’t have changed that. But my whole rant about that can be found in the relevant chapter posts, so I’ll not repeat it further here.

How Would I Have Done It Instead?

Let’s be real here for a second. Even if Mina had been the one to stop Machia. How would she even do that? I remember back when people were talking about when Mina would get her moment to shine, and that it would involve Machia again, I had serious doubts about that idea ever becoming true because I couldn’t think of a single thing she could do against him. I thought for sure Mina’s moment was going to be relegated to fighting Midnight’s killer, since that seemed more within her capabilities. In the end her shinning moment did indeed involve Machia, and no one really had a confrontation with Midnight’s killer. I actually want to hear your thoughts, if you happen have a thing in mind that you think Mina could’ve done to be the one to stop Machia. I’d love to hear it.+ Btw, since you brought it up, in what way could she have defeated the Sludge villain that would’ve been witty, or skillful? If you don’t have any ideas you don’t need to answer. It’s not that important. I’m just curious of the posibility.

Okay, so, this is the part that hung me up for the longest, because there are a few wildly different possible answers here.

The real truth is, if I had been writing this whole shebang from the start, this confrontation would never have happened this way at all. Just off the top of my head, I think there’s no compelling reason AFO couldn’t have sent Toga into the hospital to activate and retrieve Kurogiri weeks ago, and with Kurogiri back in play, getting Machia would obviously have gone differently. I would also never have disposed of the MLA as comprehensively as Horikoshi did; I would have had at least one or two instances where an MLA member who didn’t get uncovered by the HPSC in time was in a position to shift the balance in the villains’ favor—maybe one would have been with the police somewhere.

Barring a top-to-bottom rewrite of the whole arc, however? Well, I'd still say that, feeling as strongly as I do about how morally dubious this whole second war has been, even if I were telling this scene with the same components, I probably wouldn’t be writing towards a hero success because I don’t think the heroes have earned it. The baby steps the kids have taken towards Saving Villains don’t go far enough for me to want to see the villains defeated here. The biggest changes there would have been twofold:

1) Shinsou’s voice changer play shouldn’t have worked on Machia.

Machia has a sense of smell so incredibly acute that, if I were trying to logically explain how it worked, I’d make it a psychic ability that just happened to manifest as scent-based. We’re talking about a guy who could track down Shigaraki after a teleport of over 270 miles, who could smell AFO’s vestige stirring from almost fifty miles away. There’s absolutely no reason he should think for even a second that AFO is standing right outside his prison.

Now, we do know replications of AFO’s voice has an effect on Machia—we saw as much as the beginning of MVA! But I would contend that back then, he didn’t have a big loud response to the recording, just curled up around his radio and started loudly purring. In the scene with Shinsou, he actually responds as though he thinks AFO is there, but again, I don’t buy that Machia should have fallen for that, especially since he was woken by Hose Face’s device emulating AFO’s voice, which would have given his unbelievably keen senses enough time to register that it’s only the voice, not the man, that he's hearing.

But, with Machia up and not immediately prey to Shinsou’s ploy, the other big change I’d make with him becomes apparent. The series has proved willing and eager to shitcan everything Shigaraki gained in MVA, but not me. Shigaraki won Machia’s loyalty at the end of MVA, and if Machia’s cranky with AFO for leaving him behind again,[8] that doesn’t mean he couldn’t still have loyalty to AFO’s successor.

Given that his loyalty to Shigs is predicated on his loyalty to AFO, it might seem logical that AFO squandering the latter would free Machia of obligation to the former. That’s a fair take. But if it were me, I’d capitalize on Machia’s keen senses and what he was present for in MVA—Shigaraki saying that his followers should do whatever they want. Hell, if the endgame likes flashbacks so much, let’s have a flashback of Shigaraki and Machia actually talking in ways that would let Machia distinguish Shigaraki and AFO.

In other words, I think Machia’s loyalty should supersede his anger. If he gets free, his first reaction should be to go to Shigaraki, not to focus on his anger. That way, it’s not a hero win rewarding their gross sky coffin tactics, but AFO doesn’t get quite what he wanted out of it, either. This would be one part of focusing the narrative back on Shigaraki and his allies, rather than ruining Shigaraki’s hard work by letting AFO take over and piss it all away.

Incidentally, I will concede that, just because Machia shouldn’t have responded like a dupe to Shinsou mimicking AFO’s voice, that doesn’t mean Machia might not have responded at all—he could have rebuked Shinsou for trying to emulate Master, and that would have worked for Shinsou’s purposes just as well! So to avoid that, I would add one more element to a flashback showcasing Shigaraki and Machia’s relationship post-Deika: have Shigaraki showing Machia a picture of Shinsou and warning him to be on the lookout for this kid, and to not respond to anything he says.

Horikoshi loves to tie back plot beats to pre-established elements, and one such element is, as I footnoted earlier, that AFO and Shigaraki watched the U.A. Sports Festival together, so they should both know good and well who Shinsou is and what he can do. Knowing Shinsou’s SF-era capabilities doesn’t predict the voice changer, of course, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that, if the heroes are pushed to a point of desperation and they have access to a brainwasher, even a non-licensed one, they will try to use that brainwasher on whoever they think is their highest priority target. Quite frankly, all of the higher-ups and key players should have known about Shinsou.

2) The kids shouldn’t have been tipped off that they were facing Midnight’s killer, or it should have come up in a different context.

Nothing interesting comes of the way the canon deploys it, thanks to Mina’s vengeful feelings having no grounding in the story, and the blunt way it’s brought up serves only to make Hose Face easy for the reader to write off. As I said in the chapter post where he brought up “that U.A. teacher,” there’s no real reason for him to be focusing on Midnight specifically unless he has a personal reason to think she’s emblematic of the things about Hero Society he hates, or unless he was tuned in enough to U.A. personalities (knew who was teaching there, watched the Sports Festival to get a handle on its students, etc.) to realize that he was facing students he could potentially rattle by bringing up their teacher’s death.

Alternatively, if Hose Face has nothing personal against Midnight at all, and doesn’t have an encyclopedic memory of hero wannabe high schoolers, he has no reason to specifically mention Midnight. Even if the narrative must see her death “answered” in some fashion, it still doesn’t follow that the kids must get emotional closure for someone they lost to the undeclared war they were drafted into. The audience can take some solace in perceived karma, but lacking a naturalistic way for Mina and the rest to connect those dots, the kids should just have to deal with him as they would any other opponent they come up against, because, surprise surprise, when you’re fighting in a war, you’re not guaranteed to see and know who’s on the opposite side of the gun that just shot down your best friend.

As another alternative, if we go with the idea that Mina was struggling with dark desires for revenge, maybe she should have brought it up! Not as an accusation—again, she has no way of knowing she’s facing Midnight’s killer without him saying it—but just out of generalized fury with her opponents as a group, the same way Aizawa and Gran Torino hold the pain of their loved ones against Shigaraki when Shigaraki is not the one responsible for causing that pain.[9] Maybe a more openly vengeful Mina could just freely state that her aim is to take down the PLF to avenge Midnight, only for the enemy in front of her to answer, “Midnight? You mean that woman I killed in the woods on the day of Liberation? Here’s your chance, then, girl.” (Or whatever.)

Of course, Shonen Jump is not in the habit of validating heroes craving revenge, so Mina in that scenario would fail because rage would make her sloppy, same as with Deku, Iida, and so on.

(I've said before that Mineta should have had more to do in the confrontation with Midnight's killer, but that's not just about his fondness for her. It's also about him being the first to question if the heroes didn't just make the whole situation worse, and, if Mina really took Midnight's death so hard it had her thinking about revenge, it should also have been about Mina and Mineta's shared experience surrounding that death.)

That all said, I suspect that what you really meant is, how would I have handled this scene if I had to use all the same pieces and be writing towards a heroic victory? So let me at least touch on that.

As far as Hose Face goes, I actually think Kirishima might have been better suited to talking to him? Like, Mina’s been friendly with people, sure, but I don’t really buy her most pivotal, “shining moment” scene being a bunch of talk about the strength of the weak coming together. As best I recall—though do correct me if I’m wrong—it's never been shown that Mina regularly struggles with feelings of weakness or inadequacy. It would be perfectly natural for her to do so after flubbing against Gigantomachia, to be sure, but the series doesn’t make the time to show it, so her lines about forming packs with others does not feel like a natural evolution for her arc.

Likewise, while she’s obviously been depicted as friendly and sociable from the beginning, her lines in 383 suggest that her sociableness has, and always has had, an ulterior motive: covering for her perceived weakness. The lack of focus on her relationships from her own perspective makes that impossible to verify or even predict, so it just feels like it comes out of thin air, grabbed almost at random by the author in his attempt to find something, anything, Mina could say that would give Hose Face even a moment's pause.

Kirishima, on the other hand, has had a focus on his relationships, places where they’ve been pivotal to his own arc and the greater plot. (I’m sure I don’t need to harp on this to you, rvg, but I’ll go over it to lay out my perception of these things.) His relationship with Mina—the ways he’s trying to live up to her example, as well as his desire to support her when she falters—is a profound motivator for him, something we see much more explicitly and from his own perspective than we do Mina's feelings about him. Meanwhile, while his relationship with Bakugou isn’t given that level of psychological exploration, it’s a critical factor in Bakugou’s rescue at Kamino, and we also get that bit of Bakugou specifically giving Kirishima some advice that leads to the latter’s Unbreakable mode.[10]

So like, we do get an angle on Kirishima and his sense of his own relationships with others. That awareness allows him to demonstrate what is, I believe, the first unabashed moment of empathy for villains that a hero demonstrates in the entire series! Specifically, I’m talking about that low-level gang mook he comes up against during his internship with Fat Gum. That guy does a bunch of yelling about things that speak to Kirishima—fears of weakness, desire to be stronger, a need to help his “bros”—and Kirishima tries multiple times, even after being attacked, to express his understanding and sympathy for the man.

As to the Sludge Villain, I’d probably either not have him there at all, given how much he claims he just wants to pretend to fight for a minute before getting the hell out of there. He very much seems like he didn’t want to be here to begin with, so I can only assume that, despite AFO claiming the jailbreakers didn’t need to do anything for him but rampage, he very much did summon a bunch of them back anyway[11] for his final dramatic attack on Deku and Hero Society.

…This, of course, is assuming there’s no good way to actually get the Sludge Villain to talk in more depth about why he didn’t want to be here from the beginning and had to be threatened into doing it at all. It would be nice if someone could broach that topic! Maybe a quick not-too-serious handful of lines from Mineta, who has his own history of running in terror from fights he doesn’t think he can win. But even with some sympathy, I imagine Sludge Villain would try to run away regardless, on the (well-grounded) suspicion that heroes are going to want him to go back to prison and finish his sentence, and that’s when B-tachi could step in.

So that just leaves Machia, Mina, and Shinsou. And honestly, rather than having to power through it, I’d rather see Mina, in particular, talk her way out of it. This draws on two things. First, there’s the fact that she’s one of the kids who failed her Final Exams, with her and Kaminari being unable to figure out how to utilize their strengths to get out of Nedzu’s rat maze. I’d love to see her demonstrate that she’s grown from having no plans but to brute force her way through obstacles! Second, there’s this sequence:

This is a bit exaggerated, obviously, but the quick demonstration of how quickly and smoothly Mina is able to approach, scold, bond with, then deescalate people in tense situations is rightly portrayed as remarkable. But where is that facility in real confrontations with villains? Nowhere, really, save that airless stab at remarking on common ground with Hose Face and the PLF.

This doesn’t give Shinsou much to do, but that’s okay: his moment comes against AFO instead.

I realize that Mina's fans want her to have a big badass moment, and simply talking down a confrontation is not the kind of thing that tends to get viewed as "badass" in a shounen battle manga. Sorry about that. She can still jump around and dodge a lot while giving her pitch? Maybe she could get a big badass moment later on? I dunno; that's just what I would do, and obviously my priorities for what it would be cool for the kids to do are not the same as the broader readership's.

I'm also not sure where that leaves the confrontation with Midnight's killer; I suppose that depends on how things go between him and Kirishima in this scenario. Maybe they leave without him when he tries to protest Machia accepting the temporary alliance, or maybe he's soldier enough to take the help where he can get it and worry about later conflict later. Obviously, at any rate, this is happening in a scenario where he hasn't immediately blabbed that he killed Midnight; that can come up as a nasty surprise later on.

But does that mean you think Midnight’s killer should totally get away with it scott free and suffer no consequences?

Hnnnngghh that’s a tricky one because I am an unabashed MLA stan and villain supporter and therefore deeply biased about this. Like, I don’t think soldiers should be put on trial for killing enemy soldiers, no, even high-ranking officer-types. Obviously it’s different if they attack civilians or are otherwise breaking the codes surrounding conduct during warfare, but I do think Hose Face killing Midnight was basically a soldier killing someone he perceived as another soldier, with no undue cruelty or misconduct.

However, obviously the series itself—and the state authority the PLF is openly trying to tear down in-universe—would disagree with me! In that context, I can’t even really call the guy “a high-ranking officer” because that would, as mentioned earlier, convey more authenticity to his position than his government wants to grant him. As far as they’re concerned, he’s probably more like “a key figure in the recent anti-government actions carried out by the terrorist group calling themselves The Paranormal Liberation Front.” People like that tend to get executed in prison a few years after their short, perfunctory trials.

I suppose the problem for me is that the series wants me to believe that the MLA is Very Bad and they all deserve to be Locked Up Forever, whereas I want more nuance from them than that? Even setting aside the probable cult upbringing, I have significant trouble unabashedly blaming the PLF for their actions because the series has done nothing to convince me that less drastic avenues for change are available or even survivable for them.

This was a huge issue with the hospital attack sequence, but it applies to all sorts of the setting’s problems: Other than, “Insist that victims of oppression should focus on providing a good example to future generations,” what methods for addressing inequality does Hero Society have? I want to know what the villains should have done, what they could have done, about systemic inequalities and repression that would have been effective against a government that employs agents like Lady Nagant and Hawks.

The picture Nagant paints is of a society waging a war against anyone who sought to change the Hero System, a war that many people who sought change never even knew they were already in. The examples she provides of her targets are, of course, corrupt heroes and would-be terrorists, but what her HPSC President said was even farther reaching: that the purpose of her killing was to “preserve hope and faith” in heroes.

The HPSC legitimately does not seem to believe that any system other than the current one is feasible for maintaining stability, and that any attempt to shake or besmirch that system is no different than throwing the country back into the chaos of the advent of quirks. What’s a few missing activists or tragic accidents compared to that?

Horikoshi seems desperate to have us pretend he never told us that the government his protagonists are defending actively grooms assassins to enforce the status quo, but that’s not a genie he can put back in the bottle. I see the current events of the series as, in some form or another, basically inevitable because of Hero Society’s active, even violent resistance to change. Midnight’s death for that cause is thus something I have tremendous difficulty thinking of as a crime that needs to be punished.

Does that mean I think Hose Face should get off scot-free? Eeehhhhhhhhnnnngh I hate to say it this plainly, but…

Maybe it does?

The thing is, I know that Hose Face is, canonically, a quirk supremacist trying to violently overthrow the rule of law. In real life, I have no sympathy for people trying to institute fascism, regardless of whether they’re using legal mechanisms or armed force. But in the fictional world of BNHA, I have nothing but disdain for the way the MLA has been turned into a caricature of themselves in this final arc. In that sense, my dissatisfaction with Hose Face’s treatment is really based on the ideal version of him and all the rest of the MLA I have in my head—the MLA that’s allowed to have nuance behind their extremism, the one overflowing with members motivated by their lived experience with the flaws in Hero Society, with a generous helping of radicalization from the fact that they’re a cult as much as they are an army.

BNHA has scrapped all that potential and left us with nothing but naked quirk supremacy to fill the void. In an endgame that’s trying so, so hard to sell the readers on Saving Villains, that’s just poison to the story’s themes, and my villain stanning comes directly from that issue: demanding consistent treatment for the characters whose tragic backstories we haven’t been permitted to see.

Hose Face is clearly a bad person—heck, I was headcanoning him as a hard-edged, ruthless killer even when all we had to go on was him killing Midnight, long before he showed up to espouse open quirk supremacy and gloat about killing a schoolteacher, so it’s not like I ever thought he was a super nice dude or anything! But I guess I just have trouble with the idea that the current system deserves to be the one to decide his fate, when it has, to all appearances, gone to extreme lengths to stamp out any perceived threats to itself, to the point that the narrative itself is now openly delegitimizing everyone who might otherwise offer cogent critique.

It would be different if we had never seen the dark side of the status quo and the villains really were all just shallow, two-dimensional monsters. It would be different if the narrative had shown us legal, nonviolent and effective avenues for protest and change.[13] It would be different if Hose Face had killed some rando uninvolved civilian.

As it is, though, Midnight was a combatant for a terrible, terrible status quo. She might not have been using lethal means herself, but she was defending a demonstrably lethal, openly acknowledged as repressive, system. I just can’t find it in myself to demand justice for the fact that she died for it.

But with all that being said, I also don’t think Midnight is a bad person. She never knew about the government assassins, after all; she’s a member of the system she grew up in, the same way the kids are. She presumably never saw the extent of the system’s flaws because she was never victimized by them. At the end of the day, she still deserved to be properly mourned and remembered and it is a crock and a crime that we never got to see her funeral.

If anything, I think Midnight’s funeral would have been an excellent setting for a scene where the protagonists start asking questions about how things came to this, what went wrong and where, that their teacher had to die. What is it about Hero Society that’s led to tens of thousands of dissidents, and why haven’t they ever heard of this discontent before now That would have given us considerably better set-up for a nuanced PLF, an opening to talk about Shouji’s experience of heteromorphobia, foreshadowing for Lady Nagant, and, to bring this back on-topic, the opportunity to really show Mina struggling with everything that happened as set-up for her later confrontation with Midnight’s killer.

Tumblr, How Does That Work?

Honestly I was expecting some sort of notification about your answers if and when you replied to me. Is that not a thing?

Making my reply a fresh post, or just posting replies in the comments section of the post you originally commented on, would not have notified you without me specifically tagging you, which at the time Tumblr wasn’t letting me do. This problem seems to have cleared up, so you should have gotten a notification about this post going up because of your name being tagged at the very beginning!

What you see for people answering asks depends on a few things. If you send asks anonymously, you won't get a notification if/when the person answers them; you'll just have to keep an eye on their blog. If you send them with your name attached, as you did originally for me, I could choose to answer those asks privately, sending my replies back to your Inbox, or answer publically, posting my replies to my blog. Either way, you'd be notified!

For this round of responses, if I'd just replied to your reblog in comments as you did with my original post, or reblogged your reply with a reply of own instead of staring a new post, you’d have gotten notifications about either! But I don’t want to put this much wall ‘o text on my followers’ dashboards without a cut, so I haven’t been responding directly, for which I apologize.

(Disclaimer: Notifications can be configured in your Settings menu; you can toggle them on and off for loads of stuff! You might wish to check what you currently have them set for rather than just taking my word for it.)

On the topic of cuts, I mentioned at the beginning that the cut option is hard to find on mobile, but just for reference, it looks like this in the post editor on desktop:

It's the same icon on the mobile post editor, it's just on the far right of the bar of icons along the bottom of the app. My screen cuts it off, so I have to scroll the bar over to find it.

Like I said, the Expand dropdown button Tumblr instituted a little while back has reduced the need for this somewhat, and you can certainly do whatever you prefer, but as I believe having the Expand dropdown automatically clip long posts is still an optional configuration in Settings, I'd feel better about reblogging from you directly if you put the bulk of your reply under a cut.

Don’t know what “blorbo” means. Kinda sounds like a demeaning term, but I’m going to assume it’s not.

Sorry, it’s not intended to be demeaning! It’s just a slangy affectionate term for “character you really like.” In my experience, I’d say it also has a connotation of protectiveness or self-identification, though I can’t speak for the whole of the internet. I like plenty of characters, but I wouldn’t call them all my blorbos, just the ones that I really and truly love and want to explore/share/defend their honor to the death.

Thanks...? Is, is that a compliment?

(Re: my telling rvg that we seemed to have similar issues with the way Mina was being handled, but they were more willing to do the mental legwork on her than me.)

It’s mostly just an observation, but not a critical one! As someone who’s very ready to read into the canon every little drip of information the canon will give me And So Much More, I have a tremendous amount of fellow-feeling for people of like minds, even if our taste in characters is different.

Buried At The Bottom, Why Kaminari Is A Worse Character Than Mineta, Yes I Said It And I’ll Say It Again

>>I have observably positive feelings for about a third of Class 1-A and only particularly negative feelings about Deku and Kaminari. What’s up with Kaminari?

My irritation with Kaminari boils down to two main things—and forgive me, I know you didn’t ask about Mineta, but Mineta’s pretty important to my feelings on Kaminari being what they are, so he’s a part of this answer. This is all going to be pretty openly dismissive of Kaminari, as a fair warning, on top of being based on not-exactly-rigorous familiarity with the student material, so apologies to anyone who likes him and finds him an enriching, valuable character. But man alive, that is not me. And but so:

1) Kaminari is a watered-down Mineta, with watered-down versions of all of Mineta’s flaws, but because he’s watered down, the growth he experiences stands out less than Mineta’s. More on this in a second.

2) Despite Kaminari being a redundant character who brings virtually nothing to the table that other characters don’t do better—with the only things that are unique to him going underdeveloped in canon—fandom loves Kaminari. (Disclaimer: I obviously don’t spend much time in the hero-fan circles of the fandom, so this is just my perception. I’d be curious to get your perspective of Kaminari’s relative popularity, rvg!)

To hit the second point first, Kaminari has a more conventionally attractive cute anime boy face than Mineta, so Kaminari’s pushing of his female classmates’ boundaries gets mostly ignored, while Mineta gets so many fics written about him dying that there’s a dedicated Dead Mineta Minoru tag on AO3 with almost 350 hits.

Fandom built a whole tottering edifice of fanon about Traitor Kaminari despite the howling absence of compelling evidence in the manga[14] for, so far as I can tell, the sole reason that people wanted the cute anime boy to have crunchy angst. Then, when the actual traitor reveals landed (first the fake-out and then the real one), fandom deemed Hagakure an ungrateful bitch and Aoyama a whining coward.

So like, the fandom discrepancy is what pushes me over the edge from the bottom end of neutral into active dislike. But I would be awfully close to it anyway for the whole “redundant-ass character who contributes nothing to this story we couldn’t get better from someone else” thing.

Kaminari being kind of leery and unpleasant about his female classmates would be a lot more glaring if it weren’t stacked up against Mineta’s actual sexual harassment, even though Kaminari is a frequent co-conspirator!

Kaminari has a brief tussle with fear at the beginning of the war arc, but it’s neither as sustained nor as convincing as Mineta’s frequent wrestling with cowardice, present from USJ all the way up through his terrified confrontation with All For One.

Mineta is frequently, openly envious of his classmates, a whole extra flaw that Kaminari never demonstrates in more than fleeting glimpses.

Kaminari’s quirk is redundant next to the other high offense types in the class.

Kaminari’s personality is not distinct enough to add anything irreplaceable to the classroom dynamic. That’s not to say he brings nothing to the web of relationships amongst the students or the ways the class as a whole reacts to the events of the series, just that what comes to mind for me is mostly extra layering to existing dynamics, not anything truly original and unique to him. Which would be fine—I love extra layers!—if he were contributing more as a character on literally any other fronts.

I can think of only two things that Kaminari uniquely brings to the table, but both of them are mentioned once and then never come up again. Firstly, he’s the only one in the class to voice open admiration for Stain, a willingness to admire cool traits in Villains that never leads him to any interesting conflicts with people (classmates or otherwise) who hew to the more standard flat refusal to consider that a Villain might have or express positive aspects.

The other thing is less about Kaminari himself and more about how he’s one of three places where the story brings up the idea of people using their quirks for non-hero jobs and then refuses to develop that premise.[15] It’s interesting worldbuilding, but as far as I’m aware, it’s never directly shown—everyone we see using their quirks (legally) in the series is doing it as a hero. We never get much sense of what other options there are for quirk use because heroism and villainy are the only contexts we ever see it in! This would be a little annoying on its own, but I also find it undermines a lot of other established facts and characterizations.

(Bear with me and I promise I’ll loop this back around to Kaminari.)

My interests being where they are, the biggest problem for me with the fuzziness about the legality of quirk use is that it leaves Destro and the MLA with no coherent cause. They want free quirk use, but are they really so incredibly averse to just getting a license that they’re willing to become terrorists over it??

You could argue that naked quirk supremacy is what the MLA is currently after, and that’s obviously incompatible with the laws as they stand, but Destro Classic is never really framed as a quirk supremacist, so why did he so virulently despise the quirk use prohibitions if all they really did was require people to get a license to use quirks in public, no different than a driver’s license or a permit to serve alcohol? Sure, you get small clutches of people sometimes with that kind of “any government oversight is bad government oversight” black-and-white thinking, but the original MLA was a powerful enough force to stand against the government for years, which doesn’t exactly scream “a handful of malcontents” to me.

Rendering the MLA’s cause mindbogglingly asinine is my biggest problem with the “other jobs can get quirk-use licenses too” tidbit, but there are also things like how totally invisible the entertainment or sports industry is. That would make perfect sense if quirk use is illegal in those fields—people want to see cool superpowers getting used, so industries that bank on public attention dollars but can’t have their celebrities use their quirks are going to decline when they can’t compete with industries/celebrities that can.

If quirk licenses can be gotten for all sorts of jobs, though, then why have sports and entertainment become so invisible? If “frivolous” fields like those are not aren’t seen as “contributing to society” enough for quirk use permits, then which fields do? Why does HeroAca!Japan still mostly look and behave like IRL!Japan if quirks are in use in “all manner” of industries? And if it isn’t the case that heroism—a dangerous job which sometimes gets people killed and which generally requires cultivating a socially demanding public brand/identity—is the only path to being able to use the special power you were born with to earn a livelihood, why does every single middle-schooler in Deku’s class and countless other classes across the country want to become a hero?

I just feel like the way the world looks and operates, the kinds of repressiveness described by even the heroes, the structures that drive people into heroism and villainy alike—the former because they don’t see any other viable way to achieve the happiness they’re looking for, the latter because they can’t become heroes but still have desires that their quirks could help them achieve—all of that makes much more sense in a world that has super powers but has tightly restricted their use to a single job class of person.

So, tying back, obviously that’s not a fault of Kaminari’s, but he is the character where that gap is most apparent. If there aren’t many lightning heroes because lightning is in high demand in other industries, it would shed significant light on who Kaminari is as a person if the manga would tell us what those other industries are.

What other paths could Kaminari have chosen? What’s so much better about those other industries that people with quirks tailor-made for heroism,[16] in a society that worships popular and powerful heroes, are so willing to choose those other industries instead? Why did Kaminari not make that same decision? What does heroism mean to him personally that he chose it when so many others in his situation did not?

Kaminari could present a huge in on that angle of the worldbuilding, but instead he’s a complete dead-end. Mineta’s motivations are base as hell, but at least we know what they are! Further, it tells us interesting (uncomplimentary, but interesting!) things that people like Recovery Girl and Deku hear said motivations from Mineta’s own mouth, and shrug and accept them as perfectly valid.

And that’s just his professed motivations! His final exam scene actually drops an early hint about the admiration for Deku he’ll later wholeheartedly declare in the 1-A vs Deku fight! I don’t remember Kaminari ever getting anything a fraction so revealing; he just coasts through the story contributing nothing unique or meaningful. He’s hardly the only 1-A character with that particular lack of depth—Sato, Sero, Hagakure and Ojiro are all similar blank slates in terms of their motivations or histories—but then, none of them are a fraction as popular as Kaminari is in the fandom as I experience it, either.

So to sum up, I dislike Kaminari because he’s a wishy-washy nothing of a character, a generically Inoffensive Anime Cutie Boy adored out of all reasonable proportion compared to more compelling and equally underdeveloped classmates alike. Mineta is, by any measure, more problematic, and it's even worse that U.A./Aizawa are so blasé about him, but, at least from where I’m standing, he’s still more layered, more compelling, more dynamic, and speaks in more interesting ways to the world around him than Kaminari ever comes close to matching.

(…Kaminari’s thing with Jirou is fine. Perfectly reasonable character relationship building material. I just don’t count it one way or the other because it’s a self-contained relationship dynamic that has no bearing on the way either character engages with the broader world/system the series’ overarching narrative is challenging. They motivate each other in small ways, but that motivation doesn’t lead them to truly grow or change as people, only to overcome modest internal confidence hurdles blocking them from things they already wanted to do anyway.)

And that's it! Thanks for forging through, good lord, over twenty pages of this, rvg and anyone else who did! I hope you were at least moderately entertained, give or take my blatant Kaminari slander. See you next time, and enjoy the Footnotes.

---------------- FOOTNOTES ----------------

[1] We’re not shown any personnel or drugs or anything, but I assume they’ve been keeping Machia drugged since Jakku, same as Kurogiri in between interviews. It’s the only thing that worked on Machia before, so why wouldn’t they have more on-hand?

[2] Despite watching the Sports Festival with Shigaraki, natch.

[3] I would like it if he would do that with a lot less insufferable power scaling bullshit, you understand, but I’m spotting the comic its plot arc here.

[4] Outside of, say, the Persona games, where the MCs can change ability sets by swapping out what companion spirit they’re packing, but even that doesn’t make them specialized for status effects, merely capable of using them.

[5] Interestingly, while Bakugou fought off the villainous sales pitch with as much verve as he brings to all his fights, if he had fallen off the righteous path there, we might have observed that his pridefulness was explicitly fostered by the people around him giving him excessive praise for his powerful quirk and ignoring his resulting violent arrogance. That is to say, Bakugou would have fallen under the same, “Villains are created by the failures in their society,” pattern that BNHA applies to all of its sympathetic villains.

[6] There was one other instance, but iirc it was an error in the translation C.Cook had done for the BNHA databook. It would not surprise me that he was being less careful or was more pressed for time when translating the reams upon reams of text in one of those.

[7] At least until the fifteen-thousand-strong mob shows up.

[8] Which frankly should be all he’s sore about. As others have pointed out, Machia’s anger about being abandoned is kind of incoherent. Yes, AFO left him on the battlefield, but he didn’t exactly leave him to rot in prison forever. The moment AFO made his big push, he sent people to spring Machia, so in what sense exactly does Machia think AFO abandoned him? If it was just the last straw after a string of abandonments from both AFO and Shigaraki, the manga could have stood to make that much clearer.

[9] AFO and Ujiko created Kurogiri out of Shirakumo—as a babysitter for Tomura, yes, but Tomura didn’t choose that. And as to Shigaraki’s very existence trampling on Nana’s memory and causing All Might pain, well, Shigaraki didn’t ask to be brought into the world, abused by his father, neglected by his family, and then raised by a supervillain, did he?

[10] And speaking of Unbreakable, compare how explicitly we’re shown Kirishima’s growth and the foundations of it with how the inspirations for Mina’s attacks are relegated to passing mentions, not direct depictions. She just casually tells Kirishima that his Unbreakable inspired her Acidman, and likewise only internally reflects on asking Bakugou and Todoroki to teach her their training method, which let her develop her Max Power Acidman Alma move, without so much as a single scrubbed in doodle depicting said training assistance.

[11] Somehow. The story is unclear on whether he disseminated threats, contacted them directly, or just used the combination of Search+Warping to drag them all back into his presence, and that last option in particular runs into complications given the limitations of both quirks.

[12] In this AU, we would have gotten to see the class have an actual discussion about Saving Villains, prompted by the way the reveal about Aoyama solidified Deku, Shouto and Uraraka’s desires to help their respective villain foils. The class would carry that resolve forward not only for those three villains alone, but also Shouji for Spinner, Kirishima when talking to Hose Face, Mina, here, with Gigantomachia, etc.

[13] None of the things I can think of that might be considered evidence of protest meet all the criteria. The original MLA became violent, Harima Oji was a lawbreaker and also ineffective in the long term, the small group that yells at Endeavor and the rest in Chapter 311 is not portrayed as linked to any broader efforts to unseat “fake heroes,” and the group that “condemned” the newscaster Miyagi Daikaku was ineffective and didn’t even seem to rise to the level of open protest.

[14] "His grades are poor but he namedrops a Hemingway novel! He must be concealing the fact that he's actually super-smart!" "He's doing a Liberation salute! He must be the traitor, even though the Liberation salute uses the other hand, and Kaminari has been using finger-gun gestures to fire off his lightning attacks since at least the License Exam if not earlier, and the League had no connection to the MLA at the time when the traitor was most active!"

[15] A blurb about Kaminari in, iirc, one of the volume extras, Suneater’s flashback to a teacher telling his class that they can “make fine use of their quirks at any number of jobs,” and Uraraka’s early mention that she’d considered “getting permission” to use her quirk to help with her parents’ construction business.

[16] See the previous discussion about the kinds of quirks that are popularly accepted as “good hero quirks.”

#mina ashido #stillness-in-green #bnha #gigantomachia #eijiro kirishima #bnha midnight #mineta minoru #embarrasingly belated reply #like i'm so sorry #chitose kizuki #I don't know what other tags to put #I'm sleepy

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juyeoniemyhoney · 4 years ago

Text

All My Love

And though he knows that he will never be able to do for you as much as you have already done for him, Lord knows Juyeon will spend this life loving you. A love he will carry from eons to oceans, to inches, back to you.

-pairing: lee juyeon x reader, ft. the boyz

-genre: fluff, idol! juyeon, established relationship

-warnings: none, but this is so stupid i'm so sorry

-word count: 1909 words

-A/N: hey guys! this has been sitting in my drafts since the kingdom finale and i've been sitting on it because, frankly i think this is really badly written. but i've finally decided to post it because the second part to Rent A Boyfie is taking a little longer than i expected so here's something for you guys in the meantime. i'd also like to add that the last line of this fic is a direct quote from Lang Leav's poem September Love so like, idk. don't charge me for plagiarism? HAHAH yea, i guess.

--------

As you stare at the screen, a flurry of emotions run through you; sadness, disappointment, but most of all, worry. You wonder if the smile he sends to the camera and all of his friends is genuine, or if he is just putting up a front so as to not ruin the joyful atmosphere. You determine it's the latter. His eyes do not curl in merriment like they usually do when he is beyond joyful. You point out the way his eyes almost seem empty, devoid of all emotion, the usually brilliant brown, dull. Nevertheless, he congratulates the winners, gives hugs out to everyone before he is silently exiting the stage with his members.

When you see them leave the stage, you stand up from the couch like you are possessed, not even registering anything at the moment, moving purely on instinct. You rip the door open to the waiting room and make your way through the flurry of staff, who rush about backstage, tending to different matters in a rush. You bump into people multiple times and every time, they give you annoyed looks because you are not supposed to be here, you are just in the way. But you don't care. You have to get to them.

And when you finally near the entrance to the stage, you see them, looking like they've just lost a war and then some, and your heart breaks.

"The Boyz!" you shout, earning you their attention and the attention of almost everyone around you. You shout it sternly, tone almost desperate when you see their disappointed expressions. And you know they are questioning their abilities right now, questioning if they are even any good at what they do. They must be beating themselves up for every single little mistake they have made. And you will not allow them to do it. You will make every effort to make sure that they know their worth, that they know that their loss on this stupid show does not define them in the slightest.

"Y/N?" Juyeon says with a tilt of his head. He sends you a small, sad smile, and your heart breaks all over again when you see the way his eyes gloss over in the slightest.

"Why do you all look so sad?" you ask sternly, hands on your hips as you look up at the eleven boys, who all look like they're puppies who have been kicked to the curb.

"You guys are winners! And as long as Deobi knows that, as long as you yourselves know that then that's all that matters!" you scold them in the middle of the corridor. You know you should not be scolding them, that maybe you should be more gentle with your words but you're actually a little mad right now. Why don't they already know this? That nothing in the world matters as long as they believe in themselves? Why don't they already know that they are amazing and talented and loved?

A silence follows your words. The boys look at you intently, expressions of surprise raising their eyebrows, replacing the defeat that had coloured their sad eyes moments before.

"Y/N," Eric almost whines, stretching out his arms as he makes his way towards you before enveloping you in a hug. Then, like a pin to a balloon, the silence bursts, and the remaining ten of them all come together in a group hug with you in the centre.

"You're all mulling over your mistakes, aren't you?" you continue to scold. It is quite a sight to behold, really. You wouldn't say you are short, per se. In fact, you think that your height is quite average. But now that you are basically swarmed by eleven giants, your head is tilted up for air, and you are on the tips of your toes, struggling to remain above this sea of The Boyz you are currently in the middle of.

The silence that follows your question is answer enough and you sigh in frustration. "How many times do I have to tell you boys that making mistakes are fine? You're humans for Pete's sake!" you continue to scold.

"So stop beating yourself up over stupid things like this! Okay now let go of me. I'm tip toeing and my calves can't hold on for any longer."

This earns you a few laughs and immediately, the men let go of you and you stumble back down onto your heels with a sigh. But almost immediately after you are released from the group hug, a pair of arms find your body again, circling around your waist as he presses his face into your neck. You do not even have a moment's hesitation to know that it is Juyeon and like it is your nature, your arms come up and around his neck, pulling him further down into you.

"Thank you," he murmurs into your skin and you can feel his lips curl into a smile. You hear the rest of the boys whisper loudly, words teasing at your public display of affection. But Sangyeon, ever the sweetheart, cuts them off and ushers them onward and back into their waiting room, leaving you and Juyeon to bask in each other's embrace.

"Don't thank me," you reply, hand moving up to pat his head, hair feeling crispy due to the copious amounts of hairspray his hairstylists use.

"No," Juyeon denies, "if it weren't for you, we'd be sad the whole night, for sure."

Your hold on him tightens when you hear his words and you feel his smile widen against your skin. He knows you're worried for the boys still, more so him, and Juyeon finds it absolutely endearing that you worry so much for him and his family.

"You don't have to worry so much," Juyeon says, pulling away from the hug just enough to see your face. When you look into his eyes, your breath catches in your throat and your heartbeat picks up. Relief washes over you when you note that his eyes do not seem devoid of emotion anymore. Instead, the brown of his eyes are warm and dripping with honey and sweet adoration as he gazes at you. Your gaze softens too and you feel like you're melting into mush with the warmth of his arms and the loving way with which Juyeon looks at you.

Your arms move from the back of his neck to hold his face in your two hands, saying, "But I know that you're still sad. And I know you're still beating yourself up for whatever reason you can come up with.". Your frown deepens and Juyeon's smile widens into a grin as his hand comes up to smooth over your frown, using two fingers to push your brows back into their original position, his other hand still firm on the small of your back.

"I know, I know," he says almost dismissively, but you do not take it to heart, knowing and understanding Juyeon well enough to know that he just doesn't want you to worry and he just doesn't want to talk about it. Despite the fact that you think he should talk about it, despite the fact that you want him to depend on you and to share the burden of his feelings and emotions with you, you know that he is better off dealing with them alone. After all, two years of dating does not mean nothing. The two of you have navigated enough, long and treacherous fights and misunderstandings to trust and understand each other fully, to know each other like the back of your own hands. And so, you remain silent and just go back in to hug Juyeon again.

When you hug him, he laughs sweetly and hugs you back, pressing a sweet kiss to the crown of your head as the two of you stand in silence, the corridor much more silent and empty that it was minutes before. You're thankful that no staff or any of the other groups had cared to watch the two of you have such an intimate moment in an otherwise rather public place. And you are sure that gossip and words passed in hushed whispers are spreading about the different staff and the other groups but, quite frankly, you don't really care and it seems as though, neither does Juyeon, as he quietly bids goodbye to the friends he has made with other idols as he holds you in his arms.

Your moment is cut short, however, when Hyunjae comes back out to you guys, barefaced and changed into his casual clothes, bag slung on his shoulder, expression annoyed and impatient.

"Lee Juyeon, not to be an ass but we take the same car and Eric, Jacob and I have been waiting for like ten minutes already so can you, possibly rush the hugging, or maybe hug on the go because I want to go home and sleep for the next week," Hyunjae says with a tight smile, and though his tone is sweet, you realise it's sarcastic, and you immediately let go of Juyeon and urging him to go and get changed.

"Thank you, Y/N," Hyunjae says when Juyeon leaves to change. The two of you slowly make your way back to where Eric and Jacob are waiting patiently as Hyunjae talks to you. "For being our cheerleader. And for being Juyeon's personal cheerleader.".

You flash Hyunjae a smile and he smiles back at you, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "Oh, it's nothing. The praise comes easy because you guys did so well. Like seriously, how do you guys dance so in sync? It was mind-blowing."

Hyunjae's grin widens and he thanks you once more as Juyeon comes rushing out of the waiting room to where the four of you wait for him. And as the five of you make your way to the car, Juyeon's hand reaches for yours on instinct. And you secretly like the way you do not have to ask Juyeon if you can go with him or not, and you do not have to ask him if the members are fine with having you over. You like that it is expected, that if you don't go with Juyeon, the members will wonder why. And Juyeon likes it too. Likes that you are always with him, likes that you cheer him and his friends on so easily, likes that you are always there to love on him and cheer him up when he gets down.

To a certain extent, he feels a little guilty. Because it is always you cheering him on and trying to make him smile again when he is down. He knows that he hasn't done as much as you have done for him. You ground him and keep him from tearing himself apart and he knows that he has so much to do in order to make up for the extensive amount of times you have sacrificed yourself for him. But at the end of the day, he is most willing to spend his entire lifetime and all the time after that with you. And though he knows that he will never be able to do for you as much as you have already done for him, Lord knows Juyeon will spend this life loving you. A love he will carry from eons to oceans, to inches, back to you.

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago

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Hey Quil!

There's literally so much to say here my dude. Like-I just physically cannot put into words as to how much I love what you do for this fandom.

I have never in my life, met such an incredibly talented creator like you. /gen

The way that you can put words down on a page is so elegant, it's a talent that is just simply unfathomable to me. You just kind of suck me in with your writing--I have to clear a time to read the next chapter of the wings au because of how deeply you're able to weave your words to pull me into the narrative.

The world that you've built in your head, and the ideas that you churn out onto the page are so very incredible. And that's not just about writing either.

Seriously!! When I found out you could draw my reaction was pretty much. Well I guess it's over now, Quil's over here, hoarding all of the talent and stylistic choices of writing and art. /lh

I remember vividly when I first saw the wings AU. I was actually on my phone, at school, in the hallway (no shame apparently) and I saw Shattered Upside Down on the list of things. And I read the description and I sat there for a minute and I went.

Huh. That seems kind of weird. And I clicked off of it.

Can I just say!!! How funny that is!! Like I think I've been this invested in two fics ever, and my first reaction to seeing this was "eh I'll pass" ?!?!?!

Past Tobi this is literally right up your ally. It is dystopianizing + dragonifying your kotlc. Why the fuck would you want to pass on it????

Anyway, it was only three days later that I came around and gave it a shot (after seeing the one chapter and the word count.) And let me tell you. I knew I was hooked.

I knew it.

I remember so well sitting in the dark, on vacation, excitedly stimming on my bed after the fourth chapter came out. I had the Wiggles from a story!!! This had never happened before. I'd gotten squirmy yes, but I had to stand up!!! Because whew this story was really fucking good!!!!!

And Quil. Quil I cannot tell you how much the wings AU means to me. Like as a story but as an idea as a whole. And ik we're getting to the ah ha moment, and I know this means that it's ending, and while I'm so sad to see it go I'm also really excited to see how you write a conclusion to this.

Anyway if you want to see my shitty doodles of the wings AU from like...omg over a year now. (Quil it's been over a year since I drew those) just let me know.

Anyway, enough talking about my lord and savior (Shattered Upside Down) /hj

Thank you so very much for inspiring and writing every day. You're honestly such a cool human being, and it's been so fun getting to see you create on here <33

Oh my gosh this is so incredibly kind of you I'm at a loss of where to start to try and articulate back how much this means to me and how much I appreciate it.

Hearing that my words just kinda suck you in because of how I weave my stories makes me laugh a little because it feels wildly out of proportion with my writing approach. I think I've said this before, but I basically don't edit like at all. Everything you read is what I first wrote; it is the first draft. So you saying is both greatly appreciated and also amusing because I'm just winging it

And thank you for the compliments on my drawing, as well! You're not the first person to say that (discovering I could draw later on), which is wild because there was a time in the fandom where I was foremost considered a fanartist compared to...whatever I am now.

I love that you clicked off the wings au because if I am being 100% honest...I probably would do the exact same thing. I think if I saw the wings au out in the wild, I wouldn't read it. I'd go "huh, I don't really like aus, and this is too long" and just move on. Because it's true! I don't really like aus (they're great! just not for me most of the time) or long fics, so if it wasn't my story I'd absolutely skip right past it without a second thought.

I'm incredibly flattered to hear you were hooked, like that is such an amazing thing to hear as a writer than someone is that invested in your story--and giving you the wiggles!! You are giving me the wiggles right now as I'm reading through this just in awe. I'm thrilled you think the story is good because it's truly expanded beyond what I ever thought it would be, which is terrifying, but also so excited to watch (I say as if I'm not writing it). And I can't believe you were reading it on vacation like please enjoy your vacation the wings au can wait

Tobi. I cannot explain to you how much it means to me that the wings au means something to you. I started this story purely self-indulgently after I started mindlessly associating characters with wings, making the joke "well no fandom is complete without a wings au" to cover up how invested I was getting in such a "silly" concept. Like really? A wings au? Could it get any more basic?

And while the story is starting to come to a close (there's a lot left to write but like timeline wise...we're getting there), I really hope that I can live up to the rest of the au and the expectations. I've known what I wanted the final message, the final hurrah to be since I started; it's all been working towards that, but I don't know exactly how we'll get there or what shape it will take.

I'm both terrified and ecstatic to see what the wings au will become and I just hope I can do it justice.

Also I would absolutely love to see any doodles you're comfortable sharing. Seeing art of the wings au always makes my day and I'm incredibly honored that my story inspired you to create something.

Thank you so much for everything you've said, I don't know how to explain my appreciation for this. I hope to continue creating things and sharing them and having fun with everyone here for as long as possible, so thank you for being so receptive and encouraging about it all, this seriously made my day <33

#kotlc #ten years of keeper #quil's queries #quil's queridos #xanadaus #you said alright lets take creator appreciation day and absolute explode quil #have had a wacky few days so this is just. so nice #I keep saying that but I'm at a loss of words. I am sending so many vibes your way do you feel them. the vibes. I'm sending them #long post

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iturbide · 2 years ago

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like tbh the biggest thing I want to see with edelgard? is her learning to trust people and being forced to build a foundation of openness and the ability to Ask For Help when she needs it. and re: the agarthans issue, she definitely needs it.

like especially too if there was ever the chance for her to speak with the other lords, I'd love to see a process around edelgard having to adjust and challenge herself and maybe even freak out a bit because she has to take these chances. I want to see byleth, whom shes probably attached to because theyre so.. neutral, outside of what shes been dealing with, be more forecful with facilitating her reaching out. I want to see dimitri taking a chance to talk to her, I want to see her be able to hesitantly discuss different aspects of her experiences with both him and claude but maybe find out some specifically with claude because he would understand them better and to see them connect over it. I want to see hubert, too, eventually have to come around and I want to see conflict because of that. hell, I feel like hubert having to reckon with edelgard's new course of action and all of those risks could be good grounds for like, having dedue pull him aside for A Talk because MAN do I think those two would actually have a lot to talk about.

this isn't even getting into the eventuality of ferdinand involving himself and by extension causing problems because he's direct and insensitive at times and he'll also have to learn a lesson from that, but anyway

sorry bout all these even more words here but i've been having some thoughts today

Please don't apologize for these words these are excellent words and I am very happy to have them in my inbox (and now on my blog) thank you for sharing these Thoughts I delight in and appreciate the

and also have we talked about the Pre-Timeskip Fix-It? Because Pre-Timeskip has A Lot of this (and some of it is actually written already in draft)

Like Byleth being forceful in facilitating Edelgard's early meetings with other Lords

Also Edelgard opening up a little to Claude and him going full conspiracy theorist and sharing with her

Or how about Edelgard actually apologizing to Byleth and Dimitri

in fact, since it looks like this hasn't gotten posted yet -- how about the lead-up to that apology?

“You still haven’t apologized?”

She did not flinch. But she did let her gaze wander over his shoulder to a passing student, which might have been equally telling, judging from the way Claude groaned as he threw himself back in his chair. “Edelgard!”

“What?”

“Don’t you feel even the tiniest bit guilty about saying that?”

“Why should I?” she asked. “I only tried to motivate them.”

“How was that supposed to motivate them?”

“It spurs me to think--”

“Princess, you’ve gotta stop putting other people in your shoes and try to put yourself in theirs.”

“...I don’t understand.”

He sighed, vigorously mussing his own hair. “Alright. Okay, fine, let’s try a thought experiment. Imagine for a minute that you’re an only child--”

“I’m not, I ha--”

“Imagine, I said.”

She huffed, crossing her arms and sitting back even as he leaned forward again. “You’re an only child,” he continued, “and your mother died before you had a chance to know her. For as long as you can remember, it’s just been you and your dad.”

That, at least, she could understand. Her father had long been her inspiration, supporting her grand ambitions and motivating her to continue forward. She had dreamt, sometimes, of a different life, a better life, where she might live peacefully with him…

“Growing up, you’re kind of isolated. Your dad does a lot of work as a fighter for hire, and eventually you get pulled into it with him, but he handles all the business. You don’t interact much with people besides him and maybe some of your fellow mercenaries, but you don’t mind. Your dad takes care of you, and makes sure you have everything you need, and you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.”

She made a thoughtful sound, taking a sip of tea. Claude seemed rather wistful, but she made no comment, simply listening to the words and trying to keep focus on the dream of herself and her father leading a happy life together, growing up under his kindness and care...

“Then, out of the blue, you get thrown into something you’re totally unequipped to deal with. You’re expected to lead, when you’ve never been a leader, and expected to teach when you’ve only ever been the one learning. Your dad is still there, though, and he helps how he can, but...you start to realize that he’s been keeping secrets -- and not just about himself. You’d never even thought about it before, but you’re seeing a whole world you never knew existed, one that he lived in longer than you’ve been alive, that he could have talked about but never did. And you don’t know why.”

She frowned, setting her cup back in its saucer. Would her father keep such secrets from her? Had he kept such secrets from her? She’d been spirited away to Faerghus so quickly when the Insurrection occurred...and it had been by her uncle’s hand. Had it been on her father’s orders…?

“You want answers -- of course you do, who wouldn’t, right? -- and he promises to tell you when there’s time for you both. But then, when he gets back, just when it looks like things will become clearer, and you’ll be able to understand him better than you ever had before...he dies. It’s not the end of a long battle with disease or injury. It comes out of nowhere. And suddenly the person you’ve had there your whole life, the person you depended on as a child, the person who took care of you then and who’s always been there for you until now, who helped ground and tether you even when things were at their worst...is gone.”

...she had long been preparing for her father’s death. Though he was not truly old, she had watched him waste away in the years since the Insurrection ended, until he looked far older than his years. He would not live much longer, and that fact pushed her even now to wrap up her preparations and set her plans in motion...but what if he had died before? At the hands of the nobles that stole his authority, or as a result of the horrors they inflicted upon him and his family? She would have continued on…

...but her heart stumbled at the thought of such a loss, borne on top of the torments she and her siblings suffered.

“So tell me,” Claude said, breaking her out of her thoughts, “how would you handle it?”

She steeled herself, squaring her shoulders and lifting her head. “I would hunt down the culprit and see them punished for what they did.”

“Right away? When you’ve got nobody to turn to because there’s this gaping void in your life where they’d been?”

Edelgard had no answer to that.

“Look. I don’t doubt that when Teach gets back on their feet, Monica -- or whoever she really is -- is gonna pay. But you can’t force them up when they’ve got no ground to stand on anymore.”

#answered #anonymous #fire emblem: three houses #pre-timeskip fix-it #snippets #have i mentioned i have roughly 30k words in draft already #almost all of it for the first half #before edelgard starts suffering consequences #and therefore really starts opening up and changing course #but even so there's some stuff already done #that hopefully shows some promise for her #doesn't change her as a person #but does get her to re-evaluate a little

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a-pretty-nerd · 4 years ago

Text

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter!Reader

Chapter 9

Premis:

When The League of Villains discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you’re in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

Word count: 2,756

Warnings: Cursing

A/N:

Oh dear lord I'm slow at getting these out. Life's been kickin' my ass lately. But thank you to everyone who's been giving me feedback on my stuff, I really love to hear from you guys!

Taglist:

(So sorry, I forgot when I originally posted!)

@craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love

@kamenoyaki @hentaiqween101 @skzero-99 @justanotherlifeff

@witch-o-memes

Chapter 8 Chapter 10

Two months. You've been "missing" for two months now. The days flew by, your time occupied by quirk training Shigaraki insisted on but never told you why. The times you tried to ask he'd brush it off, or say something like:

"So you don’t throw another fit." His words were harsh but he said them with a flat and bored tone. Like it was a poorly acted line.

So now you had better control. You could move things on command, you knew basic combat, you certainly knew how to kick Dabi's ass by now, that didn't take too long. You were being allowed more and more freedom. Even allowed to leave for a convenience store runs with Toga once or twice. No one policed you, told you what you could and could not do anymore. You could have easily ran away by now. You supposed they really didn't need you either. For their plan to work all they would need was some blood and Toga could easily pass as you.

That idea sent a shiver down your spine. You're sure Shigaraki has thought of that already, so why hadn't he? Why was he training you? Would he use your quirk against the heroes in some way? Was he grooming you to turn and fight your father? You wouldn't. No matter what you wouldn't fight your father. Would you? You shook yourself of this thought as you walked down the ally to the back door of the hide out.

Toga unlocked the door and you stepped in, greeted by a dark and dingy back room. You made your way through the dark halls, following closely behind her as she led you up the stairs that finally led to the parts of the building with power. Soon you found yourself walking to the familiar living space where a few people rested. Dabi laid himself out on one of the couches, Spinner sat fiddling with his burner phone, and Twice had started yelling at the TV before you arrived.

"Luuuunch!" Toga shouted. Toga was often used as the errand girl, she brought back necessary supplies, oftentimes food. Today Toga asked you to tag along and help out, and there wasn't a single objection to the hostage going out on the town. You sat the heavy bags down on the coffee table, taking out the contents as you spoke.

"Where are the others?" You asked.

"Mr. Compress was sent on an errand of his own. And Shigaraki's probably pouting in his room. He'll come out when he's hungry." Dabi groaned as he took his meal from your hand.

"Oh. I'll just bring it to him." You said, absent-minded. All eyes turned to you, looking confused and shocked. "What?" You asked.

"Nothing! It's just-"

"He doesn't like to be disturbed." Toga and Twice spoke. You paused and looked at the box in your hand. It would get cold if he didn't eat soon, and besides, none of you had had much to eat lately, you were sure he was hungry. You knew you were.

"I'll just leave it at the door and knock. It'll get cold and then he'll be in an even worse mood." You told them. They watched you turn and walk up the stairs to his "room". You stood in front of the door, with such thin walls you could hear furious typing on the other side. Loud clicking of a mouse, and the sound of a computer's fan. You took a deep breath and softly knocked on the door. Suddenly the sounds abruptly stopped, followed by a bark.

"What!?"

"Foods here." You called back. You heard footsteps on the other side growing louder and louder until the door flew open. You stared up at the tall man as he looked down on you. His hair hung over his face, his eyes hardly visible. Your heart rate quickened the longer you looked at him. What the hell is wrong with you?

"Give it to me." He held out his hand, his pinky holding out in preparation to receive the box.

"You said you liked spice stuff, right?" You asked as you placed it in his hand.

"Yeah."

"We got you their spicy special. I hope it's not too much. The sign said 'caution' on it." He scoffed at you, turning the box and looking at the writing on it. He fell very quiet. Inspecting the box, you suddenly worried that something was wrong with it. That maybe you'd messed up somehow. But before your anxiety could reach its peak-

"Thank you." His voice was low and soft. You could hardly hear him. Then before you could respond he closed the door and left you alone again. Did he really say that? You never heard him say that to anyone. Granted, you hardly knew him but still, the way he said it, it made you feel... special in some way. You shook yourself from your train of thought and shuffled down the hallway, pausing when you heard movement and the door to Shigaraki's room open. You froze.

"Wait a minute." He barked. You turned too look at him. He hung out of the doorway to stare at you.

"W-What?" You asked. Shigaraki had a way of making people feel like they were in trouble. His ability to easily become an authority figure was something you were beginning to understand now.

"You...went out?" You nodded. He paused and looked away, his eyes shifting as the gears spun in his head. He turned back into his room as he spoke, "come here for a second." He asked. You slowly made your way to his room, the door left wide for you to peak inside. A dark room lit by portable light fixtures and a laptop computer which sat on an old desk. A cot thrown to the corner covered by the same old and tattered blankets the rest of you had.

"Am I... in trouble?" You croaked.

"What? No. Close the door behind you, you'll let in a draft." He ordered, seeming genuinely confused by your question. You closed the door behind you, leaving you completely alone with him in his space. Your heart raced.

You watched him turn and look up at the wall which he had decorated with plans. Pictures of heroes and villains cut out and pinned. Newspaper clippings, printed out articles and research essays. He was planning something, but what it was was difficult to determine. You did notice however, a cut out of an empty figure with your name on it pinned to the center of it all. You stared at it for a second before he broke you from your train of thought.

"Well?"

"Huh!?"

"What do you think?" He asked. His attention turned to his meal, he picked at it, taking a few bites.

"Of what?"

"...the plan." You looked back at the wall, puzzled you tried your best to gain any sort of information from it. Only being able to find bits and pieces. You knew it involved you, your father, and the take down of hero society. A cut out piece of article said something about the rise of villains, that more and more people were turning to villain work. How those rates have a correlation with classes. You slowly turned back to look at him.

"I'm sorry you're gonna have to explain this to me." You told him. He rolled his eyes and stood, directing his attention to his work as he spoke.

"This is the second part of the plan."

"What was the first?"

"Taking you as a hostage."

"Right. But, didn't you say the plan was to expose the heroes after they weren't able to rescue me and not only expose the faulty heroes but also my father as a neglectful and flawed individual not worthy of the hero title?" He paused.

"Yes."

"But that didn't go as planned."

"....."

"Didn't you say something about making a video to broadcast outing myself as All Might's daughter and causing panic? What happened to that plan?"

"It became leverage. If they attempt to come for you, then we'll go with that. But if we do that now, they'll come for you now and we'll be forced to fight."

"Isn't a fight...a good thing? You'd get news coverage and You'd no doubt gain supporters."

"Normally it would. But a fight isn't what we need right now. The heroes have us surrounded. If we make any move at all, we're in their hands. We won't be able to win."

"Not even with your quirk? Couldn't you-"

"Not with everyone here. As strong as I've gotten, I'm not strong enough to keep them from getting swept up and dusted too."

"Right."

"We're in a tight spot. One wrong move and we'll be wiped out."

"What about your supporters? Couldn't you get help from the outside."

"I could, but the heroes would see it coming. They have our signal tapped. Any sort of communication has to be verbal or written."

"Homing pigeon?" You offered. It made him smirk.

"Right now we're like a fox trapped in its own hole by hunters."

"So... we dig?" That made him smile, wide.

"Dig. If we could smuggle ourselves out of the city, we could reach a clear spot where we can call for backup to get us."

"Why not send one person to smuggle themselves out? Toga could easily disguise herself and leave."

"They have a barrier."

"What?"

"Part of the city is closed off until further notice. They know exactly where we are. If one gets out, they won't hesitate to come for all of us. We all have to get out at once and they can't notice until it's too late."

"But how the hell are you gonna do that?" His smile widened. He looked truly excited and happy. For the first time you saw your capture seem truly excited about something.

"We have a few secret recruits in the city. Spies." He turned his attention back to his meal box, reaching in to pull out the inner box that held the food, to reveal a piece of paper sitting underneath in the flimsy take out box. "I didn't know they were letting you out of the base now." He spoke as he opened and read the note within the box.

"I thought, you knew. I thought you were the one that said I could. Dabi said it was fine." He read the note and stood to pin it up on the wall before speaking.

"I've been too busy with this to worry about you. You shouldn't believe everything that Dabi says. I told him to make sure you just don't have another episode and cause a scene before we leave. I thought assigning him babysitting duty would keep him busy." He chuckled. "There's just one thing I don't understand." He turned back to you. "Why didn't you leave?"

"I...I..."

"You had the opportunity, but you're still here. Why?" You froze. Why? Why didn't you run?

"I was scared I'd be killed." You lied. He laughed at you.

"Don't lie to me. You lost that fear a long time ago. You know that's not true. If I wanted you dead I would have killed you a long time ago."

"You've kept me alive to use me as bate. To, to expose the truth." You argued.

"With Toga, we wouldn't need to." You swallowed hard. You knew he had thought about this.

"I'll tell you why I stayed, if you tell me why you've been training me." He scoffed.

"To keep you busy, to keep you from having another episode."

"That doesn't make sense. You could have drugged me, killed me, you said it yourself. But you kept me alive, you kept me busy. You could have kept me on my meds, unable to use it at all but you insisted I learn my quirk. You trained me yourself. Why?" His smile faded and his expression became dark.

"I asked you first." He growled. You looked away from him and thought for a moment before gaining the strength to answer. You knew the truth for a while now. You never wanted to say it out loud. You refused to look at him as you spoke.

"I don't wanna go back. But you probably already knew that by now. You just wanted to hear me say it, huh?" His smirk returned.

"Had a hunch." He snickered.

"Now you answer me."

"Why don't you wanna go back?"

"We had a deal. Answer my question now." You barked at him. It took him a long pause. A full minute of waiting in silence felt like agony.

"I thought it would help you feel better." He muttered in a surprisingly husky tone. "Keep you from asking me to dust you again." That's right, during your episode...

"I'm sorry." You blurted.

"What?"

"I'm sorry I... I asked you to kill me." You hid your face from him. He shifted and crossed his arms across his chest.

"It's not a big deal, I dust people all the time."

"No, I know. But like, I can't imagine being asked to by someone having a fucking break down happens all the time too. I kinda...kinda put you in a shitty position." When you looked up, he looked confused. Comically so. "What?"

"I took you hostage." He reminded you. You couldn't help but chuckle, that made him more confused.

"Shit, yeah, you're right. Guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself huh?" He looked away. "Still. My intentions weren't to upset you."

"You didn't upset me."

"It seems like I upset you." You toyed. His guard was down, he was vulnerable, and allowing you to be there.

"Shut up. You didn't answer my other question!" He shouted in an almost playful tone. You couldn't help but smile, only to have it slowly fade as you thought about your second answer.

"I don't want to go back because..." you stopped, the words getting stuck in your throat. You were unable to speak. He looked down at you, waiting for an answer. He seemed almost relaxed. He seemed normal. Like a normal guy leaning against the wall of his bedroom with his arms folded across his chest. Your eyes wandered up to his scarred neck, bright red scabs forming. Inflamed and fresh. He had recently scratched at it again, clearly in an upset state too. When he blinked you got a clear view of the scarring around his eyes.

"Boss!" A familiar voice shouted from outside the door. "Boss!" Before you could move the door was thrown open, Spinner's wide eyes finding you standing there. He shook his confusion loose before turning back to Shigaraki who quickly changed his position to attention. "Come quick!"

You followed him back to the living space where the old television sat. The news playing loudly as everyone gathered around to watch in panic. Swat teams and heroes decorated the screen as shot after shot showed them surrounding your building. Fear ran from your toes to your head, making you feel nauseous and dizzy. Shit. Shit. Shit. They're here for you. But you...you weren't ready to leave. And what about-

"Not again! - We can take 'em'!" Twice shouted at it like a sport was playing.

"Tomura, what are we going to do!?" Toga asked, frantically bobbing up and down in panic. He watched the TV intently listening in.

"After receiving a tip from an anonymous source, police and heroes found missing tourist Y/L/N Y/N being held captive by The League of Villains in this abandoned office building. Officials are working now to safely rescue the hostage."

Suddenly a loud voice was heard both on TV and through the halls of the building.

"League of Villains. We have you surrounded. Please let Y/L/N go and no one will be hurt." A cop shouted through a megaphone.

"C'mon Shigaraki, what's the plan?" Dabi asked, clearly starting to get uncomfortable. Before Shigaraki could respond, you spoke.

"Well, looks like this is it for me." You began walking away, only to be stopped by a strong, four-fingered grip pulling you back.

"Where do you think you're going!?" He growled.

"The jig is up, Shigaraki! Let me go! I'm not useful anymore. All they want is me, if I'm out of your hair you'll be able to escape easier." His grip tightened, pulling you closer as his red eyes bore into yours.

"So long as you're here they won't dare make a move. You're still my most valuable player. You're staying right here."

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki #Shigaraki #bnha fanfic #league of villians

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starlightxsvt · 4 years ago

Text

Hellion

pairing: Jeonghan x female reader

genre: fluff, suggestive, idk what this is

warnings: cursing

word count: around 1.5k

A/N: Firstly, happy birthday to the Jeonghan, our con man. I know I'm a day late so forgive me for that. Secondly, I've no idea what the hell I wrote. I've cancelled two other drafts I wrote for his birthday cause none of them were coming together and in the end I've decided to post this shit. Anyway, your feedback would be really appreciated in this mess of a story :').

"What's Jeonghan doing here?" You hiss to Mingyu who has a hard time prying his eyes off of Chaeyeon. "I invited him. I never thought he'd actually come. I'm surprised too." He replies.

"Wha- why would you invite Jeonghan to my birthday party!" You glare at him to which he rolls his eyes, "Come on now, he's in our friend group. And college is almost over. You don't know when you'll see him again. Ogle him while he's still here." He smirks.

"What did you just s-"

"Oh come on, don't act like I don't know that he's your secret crush. Maybe make up with him and if you're lucky you'll get some good dick as a birthday present." Mingyu chuckles at your open mouth before scurrying away to avoid your wrath. You glare at his retreating figure before inhaling sharply. And before you can stop yourself, you start to look for him.

You spot Jeonghan at the large porch in the back of Mingyu's house, sitting in one of the porch seats while sipping beer. He looks dashing as always, his black hair messy, his pale skin glowing in the moonlight, his cheekbones getting a prominent shine. You sigh.

Jeonghan was an exhausting person to be around and maybe, he'd say the same for you. You've known him since highschool and after a particular incident of him spilling his banana milk all over your brand new scarf, you decided to call it war. To this day you believe that he did it on purpose because you told your homeroom teacher that he slept during his class.

After that it was like an unspoken rule- you two would bicker whenever you were in the same space. It only infuriated you that he was so good looking, smart, famous and the fact that you had some feelings developing for him. Each time you saw him with a girl you'd feel a bitter feeling all over and you could only hope that those feelings would pass over time. But no they didn't, they only grew- the small branches had formed a tree now, the roots planted deep in your heart.

"How long are you going to stand there and stare at me?" Jeonghan calls, without turning behind. You clear your throat before walking to him, "Didn't expect to see you here, fuck face."

"Can you not call me names for a day please? You're just jealous I'm good looking." He remarks drowning the can of beer.

You snort, "Haha. You wish, loser." You plop down beside him. "I see you've finished quite a few cans. What's up? Got ditched?" You poke him.

"What do you care?"

"You're ruining the mood here with all these sad aura around you. Go drink your sorrows away somewhere else, this is my party."

"Yet you are sitting with me and my sad auras."

"I came to tell you that," you scoff, crossing your arms over.

"Parties are not your thing, I know. And Mingyu wasn't shy on inviting people. It feels more like his birthday than yours." Jeonghan comments, still staring ahead. His words are true and they infuriate you. You can't help but get defensive, "What do you know, sad boy? I'm enjoying myself just fine."

"And yet you are sitting with me and-"

"Stop saying that, will you!" You snap. Jeonghan chuckles before looking at you. He unabashedly eyes you up and down, heating your cheeks up in the process.

"Nice dress," he murmurs. His words catch you off guard and you glare at him, "Stop staring at me, pervert."

"You were staring at me earlier."

"Seriously? Can you stop for one goddamn second?"

"You're the one who started it."

"That's it. I shouldn't have come here," you stand up to leave but to your utter surprise Jeonghan grabs your hand, sending your heart to a frenzy. "Wait."

You swallow nervously, heart thudding loudly in your chest as Jeonghan lets go of your hand and meets your eyes, "Sit down, I've a gift for you."

You frown, "You have a gift for me?" Jeonghan nods before sitting straight, setting down his can. "Before that, I need you to know something."

"W-what?"

"I really didn't spill my milk all over you intentionally that day." He meets your eyes.

You can't help but laugh out loud partially because he's still concerned about that and partially because you believe he's lying.

"Listen here, sad boy, I've put that well past me. And I know for a fact you did it on purpose so don't-"

"You didn't, ___. We've been fighting over that for our whole goddamn lives. And no, I'm not lying. I've no reason to. I never cared if you told our teacher shit or not." His chocolate orbs bore into yours and you swallow. The air surrounding you suddenly becomes thick and you start to feel jittery and maybe a slight amount of guilt. Is he really speaking the truth?

"W-whatever, I don't care anymore." You say, sitting down gently beside him.

"And yet you still hold a grudge against me," Jeonghan sighs. "Besides you're not even fun to fight with."

"What did you say?"

He laughs, his eyes forming crescents and the sweet melody echoing in the air. You quickly look away before he catches you staring, "I don't have all day. Where's my gift?"

"Yeah, right." From beside him he produces a bag that you didn't notice before. He hands it to you and you tentatively peek in, half expecting a bug to jump out.

To your utter surprise, a scarf that looks identical to the one he ruined lies there. A small gasp leaves your mouth.

"I bought it that day after I stained yours. I was going to give this to you as an apology but dear lord, you were on my ass the second I got to class next day." Jeonghan speaks and a blush coats your cheek leaving you feel vulnerable all of a sudden.

"I don't know what to say," You whisper more to yourself. Jeonghan chuckles, "I know, you're touched. It's okay, we're even finally."

You bite your lip and exhale loudly before meeting his eyes, "Thanks." Jeonghan moves his hand in a dismissive wave. "I thought I'd finally give it you, call it a truce. We'll probably never see each other again after this month and I wanted to depart on good terms."

Your throat constricts, an overwhelming sadness enveloping you. He's right, you two would probably never see each other again. His dad owns a huge business and he'd probably go abroad to manage it.

"You're right, let's call it a truce," you whisper staring at the scarf in your lap.

"Come on now, don't look so sad, sad girl," Jeonghan teases you and you roll your eyes. He's still the same.

He hands you a beer, "Have a drink with me to sign the truce." You quietly laugh, taking the can from him. You two share a comfortable silence, staring at the night sky, the music from the party fading into the background until Jeonghan decides to break it.

"I know you like me, ___." The words slip past his lips like it's the most casual thing ever. You choke on your beer before looking at him eyes wide like saucers, "W-what!"

Jeonghan slightly turns to face you, his features calm, "You don't have to act. I've known all along."

Oh. My. God.

Heat spreads all over your face like wildfire. Your first thought is that Mingyu told him. You chew your lip as you see no way out. "W-who told you?" You squeak.

"I've figured it out myself," He says nonchalantly, resting his head on his hand as you stares at you.

"You-you did?"

"Mhmm."

You fumble with the hem of your dress before murmuring out, "I-I should get going." You need to escape him. Forever.

But Jeonghan isn't done. He casually goes on, "I've always thought you were pretty. Even when you get red after losing an argument." You blush furiously as your palms sweat.

"You know I really had no intention of picking a fight with you but you...you were so desperate to bring me down. You always speak too much and I often think about the many ways I could shut your loud mouth. Such a shame, we would've made a great couple."

Your face feels like it's on fire by now. You swallow before nervously laughing, "I s-see what you're doing here...You're trying to p-prank me, asshole."

Jeonghan runs a hand through his hair, sighing, "See? There you go again, running that damn mouth." Your lips press together as you clench your fists, thinking of a way out. In the blink of an eye Jeonghan scoots closer to you and leans in to capture your lips in a kiss.

A squeak leaves your mouth as Jeonghan tilts your head, cupping your cheek. You want to pull back, smack him, call him names but you can only moan as his mouth slots against yours perfectly. Your tongues clash as you grab a fistful of Jeonghan's shirt, moaning.

When you pull back for air, you're mortified, wanting to be swallowed up by the ground. Jeonghan is totally calm as he takes in your messy state licking his lips.

"Do you want to continue?"

"W-wh-what?"

"I said do you want to continue this? If you don't want to I'll leave. If you do then you're coming home with me. Which one is it gonna be, ___?"

You bite your lip. Oh my God. This can't be happening.

You grit your teeth as every ounce of your resolve disappears, "I...I want you."

The smile on Jeonghan's face is victorious, a smile you've seen million times before, a smile that makes you week in the knees. "Good girl." He says encasing your lips in another kiss before standing up holding out his hand. "Come along, sweetheart. I'm gonna ruin you for any other man. Even when it's morning you'll only be thinking about me," he whispers in your ear before tugging you out of the porch- your heart hammering in your chest as you squeeze the scarf on your hand.

Fuck, you owe Mingyu a fruit basket or some shit now.

A/N 2: Also, that video of Jeonghan exercising made me 🥵🥵 this man is so infurating. I was literally dehydrated from watching that video.

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zi-i-think · 4 years ago

Text

9 | The Miraculous Bastards

Pairing: Zuko x Ama (OC)

Word Count: 6100+

.☽☼☾.

~ Ama ☾ ~

Around the dinner table, we all chatted happily. After all it's been years since we were together like this. And this time we had some new friends. I sat with my cheek resting on my palm while I watched Aang and Katara tell the story of their engagement again.

"Honestly, I don't know what came over him. I was so focused on the sun setting that I didn't even hear him ask the first time." Katara laughed, taking another sip from her wine.

"I thought her being quiet was a no at first." Aang was finishing. "She practically had to threaten me to repeat the question. And when I did she instantly said yes." He and Katara shared a loving look.

"Threaten you with what? No kisses?" Toph taunted them. Everyone laughed as Aang blushed.

"N-no." Aang claimed.

"Then what?" Toph pushed. Based on the deep red blush on Aang and Katara's cheeks. It must be something a little... different than kissed.

"Anyways." Katara avoided the question, bringing the red wine to her lips again. "Before we all retire to bed. I think Ama had something to announce."

Everyone's eyes immediately turned to me. Gosh, I already regret telling my sister that I wanted to come out to everyone at once. "One moment." I held up my pointer finger as I chugged the rest of my wine while the others chuckled at me. The light burning in my throat made me clear my throat, as I set my glass down.

"Here goes nothing." I mumbled to myself and started picking at my nails. "Okay, well as everyone knows, there were a good two years where I-"

"Disappeared?"

"Went dark?"

"Didn't visit?"

Some of the others finished. My jaw dropped in an offended way as the table erupted in more laughter. "You know what, yes." I admitted. "And in those two years, I sort of fell in love."

"That's wonderful."

"What's his name?"

"Where is he?"

"How great."

The table erupted in chatter again. "Okay, you all aren't really helping me with my nerves right now." There was a slight shake in my voice as I spoke and they all stopped talking immediately.

"I think I get it." Ty Lee said, mainly to herself. I wondered if she actually knew what I was saying and gave the peppy girl a curious look. "You're pregnant!"

"Ama, really!?"

"Congratulations!"

"I'm going to be an aunt!?"

"No!" I shouted, rapidly shaking my head and my arms out in front of me. "It's been a year since I've last seen them. Besides, it was never even a possibility. Cause- well." I looked around the table. They all either had confused or curious expressions.

My eyes landed on Zuko, he was leaning back into his chair. Arms crossed over his chest as he waited to hear me speak. His soft golden eyes bore into mine. Immediately, I felt calmer and just blurted it out. "The whole point of me saying all of this is because I'm bisexual and Mulan was a woman who I was very much in love with!"

"Oh, that's old news!" Toph immediately exclaimed before anyone could say anything.

"Old news? I just told Katara and Sokka this morning. They were the only ones who knew!" I pointed out, motioning to my siblings.

"Oh." Toph realized. "Then I guess it's just old news to me. You're heartbeat always sped up whenever you saw an attractive woman." My face reddened and I buried my face in my hands.

"Moving on. I think that's great, Ama." Suki said, looking at me from beside Sokka, who sat between the two of us.

"Yeah. We're all very happy for your new found understanding of yourself." Ty Lee grinned at me. "Or would it be an old understanding of yourself? Either way, your aura is very purple and bright!"

"So, none of you think differently of me?" I wondered, peeking through my fingers.

"Of course not. You're still the same Ama." Zuko spoke up, giving me a comforting smile. He didn't speak all that much the entire night.

"So what happened?" Ty Lee's curious voice wondered.

I shrugged, a somber expression on my face. "She got really sick one day and died." Some voices expressed words of condolences quietly. "It's been hard, but everything happens for a reason, I guess." I began to feel extremely uncomfortable in the dismal atmosphere. The quiet was eating me up.

"Well," Katara spoke up, standing from her seat. I am so thankful for her ability to see when I'm uncomfortable. "it's been a long day and I'm exhausted." Aang stood up also, ready to go to bed as well.

"So am I." Ty Lee jumped from her seat. "Who knew traveling could suck all the energy out of a person." Slowly everyone left the table.

"Don't forget ladies, tomorrow is the bridal shower." Katara announced quickly before entering her room.

"Good job, sis." Sokka pulled me into him for a side hug. "The execution was a little rocky, but I'm proud of you for finally overcoming your fear."

"Sokka, your breath reeks of wine." I laughed, shoving him off me. "Get to bed."

"Mhh. Bed sounds good." Sokka mumbled happily then gave a sly look at Suki. "What do you think, Suki? Bed? Good?"

The girl smirked back at him seductively. "I think bed sounds great."

"Eww." I said in disgust. "You're going to make me throw up."

"Aww, you're just jealous you don't have someone in your bed tonight." Sokka teased.

"Yeah, it's totally because of that and not because your bedroom is right next to me." I raised my eyebrows and entered my bedroom. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. Finally. I can rest easy, I hope. The walls here are thick, right?

.☽☼☾.

I woke up early with a list of things to do. But of course, everyone needs their breakfast. Sitting at the dining table with a bread bun in my hands and a book in another.

"Watcha reading?" A familiar but still strange voice asked. Turning my head, I saw the one and only Zuko. I gave him a smile as he sat down, taking a bread bun from one of the bowls in the center.

"A romance novel." I replied, keeping my eyes on my book. "A princess falls in love with the stable boy. But he gets drafted into the war. The princess then disguises herself as a man in order to protect him."

"Sounds interesting." He responded. "I'll need to borrow it when you're done."

Memorising the page I was on, I set down the book. "So, how've you been?" I asked.

"I've been good. Bored, mainly." He shrugged. "You know. When I became Fire Lord, I was never told how much of my time would be spent with paperwork in front of me."

"That's rough, buddy." I quoted something he'd said a long time ago, cracking a smile from him. "How's Kiyi and your mom?"

"Good. Kiyi turned 12 a few weeks ago. And mom still asks about you." He responded with a warm smile.

"Did they get the bracelets I sent? I know it wasn't anything fancy, but-"

"They loved it." Zuko interrupted me. "Kiyi wears it almost everyday, actually."

"That's good to hear." I said, taking another sip from my tea. I grimaced at how cold it got from being neglected. I looked over at Zuko with an innocent look. "Hey do you mind-?"

Already one step ahead of me, Zuko took my tea cup, heating it up with his hands. Giving him a questioning look, Zuko just chuckled. "You're a very predictable person, you know."

"Well, thank you." I said, taking the cup back from him and sipping it. "So, did you boys plan anything for today?"

"Aang wants to go to the market." He answered. "Hey, what are some foods you recommend?"

"Depends." I started, pointing at nothing in particular. "Auntie Ashuna has a booth selling seal jerky. I find that to be pretty filling. There's also a booth selling different sea foods, but fried. Honestly, it's one of my new favorite snacks."

"Anything sweet?" He asked more specifically.

"Oh. Auntie Nalle has an entire bakery. She sells cakes, tarts, and all sorts of things." I listed, my mouth already watering at the thought. "She's going to be at the bridal shower, though, so Uncle Perlu will be running everything. Word of advice, don't stare at him. He'll write your name on a piece of paper and burn it."

He chuckled and looked a bit confused. "Should I ask?"

"It's kinda my fault." I recalled how I told my uncle that burning the name of a person was a great way of both detaching from them and wishing ill-will on them. "Anyways, I gotta get going. Bridesmaid duties." I stated, standing up from my seat.

"Have fun." He said as I was picking up my book, placing it under my arm to pick up my dirty dishes.

"You know me." I smirked. "I'll always have fun."

"Can you do me a favor?" He asked, just before I left. I nodded, for him to continue. "Keep an eye on Suh for me? I know she's a very extroverted person, but she can feel out of place easily."

"You can count on me mister Fire Lord." I assured him. He gave me a thankful smile as I actually felt the dining room this time.

My smile fell as I left. The mention of Suh made me feel... uneasy. I wanted to like her, I really did. But there was something about her that made me wary. I don't know what it is. But I will.

.☽☼☾.

"What a beautiful knife set." Katara opened the last gift. "Thank you, Mai." The Fire Nation woman nodded a 'you're welcome' while she grabbed a biscuit. Katara turned to look at me, as she set the gift to the side. "I didn't think I could get so many plate sets."

"You'll never need to worry about not having one." We chuckled together.

"It was a great idea to host the bridal shower here in the green house." Katara looked around at the place. Vines hung from pots, trees grew strongly, and flowers of all colors filled the clear paneled house. "It sets the perfect atmosphere and it's gorgeous."

"I know." I agreed. "Plus I think the two of us needed a break of the snow."

"Oh, please. You were in here like everyday up until two weeks ago." She mocked me, starting to fold up the gift bags.

"Yeah, some of the bridesmaid duties I were procrastinating on had finally caught up to me." I recalled, looking across the long table I noticed Suh chatting Mai's ear off. The poor girl looked so bored and annoyed.

Remembering my promise to Zuko earlier, I stood up and went over. "Hey, Mai. Katara could use some help organizing the gifts."

"Finally. Something to do." She said dryly and left her seat.

I took Mai's seat and smiled at Suh. "So, how are you liking the South Pole?" I started conversation.

"Oh, it's beautiful." She awed. "I always believed that the Southern Water Tribe was underdeveloped and unstable, but I was obviously wrong."

I tried not to feel offended by her little comment. After all, it wasn't like the Fire Nation was taught a whole lot about the other nations. "You should go to the market one day, you can get a taste of some more Water Tribe culture and food!" I suggested. "Zuko told me that he and the boys were going to be there today?"

"Oh. I didn't know that you and Zu-bear talked today?" It took everything in me not to burst out laughing at the nickname. Zu-bear? Zuko can't possibly like that. "But, anyways. I guess I'll try to go to the market."

"So, how did you and Zuko meet?" I inquired.

"Oh, it was nothing special." She swatted the air with one hand and grabbed her tea with the other. "The Fire Nation Council introduced Zuko to lots of women. We went on a couple dates, and just clicked. With all the competition I really didn't think Zuko would want to be with me, but well. Here we are."

"What does the Council have to do with Zuko's love life?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Zuko, isn't exactly getting younger. The Fire Nation is going to need an heir." She spoke like it was common knowledge. "The Council just made sure that all the women eligible to him are fit to be Fire Queen."

It made sense. After all, the royal life is a lot more pristine than I know. The year I spent living in the palace had me following proper etiquette. And that was just scratching the surface. Still, having a group of people limiting who you'd spend the rest of your life with sounded terrible.

"And what did you do before you met Zuko. Were you a diplomat of some sort, academic...?"

"My father was a general in the war. I never really did anything." She answered. The answer was way too simple for my liking. Especially since she likes to talk. "I hope I don't sound rude, but I'd rather hear more about you." She grinned. "Zuko never really talked about you guys."

I was taken aback by that. He never talked about us? Why? Is he ashamed? No. Why would he? "Um, well. What would you like to know?"

"Everything!" She exclaimed excitedly. Her hands intertwined and a hopeful look glimmered in her eye. And I'm starting to see why Mai said she was unbearable.

.☽☼☾.

I rubbed by my temples slowly, stepping inside the palace with Katara behind me. "Remind me to keep Auntie Vik away from the alcohol at your wedding." I grumbled.

"I'll remember." Katara grumbled back. "It's been a long day. Oh, you know what would be nice? A relaxing time at the hot springs."

"That sounds like heaven." I moaned at the thought. "You think the others would want to join us? The sun hasn't even set yet, we have time."

"That's a good idea, actually." Katara grinned. "I'll go get everyone."

"And I'll go get the wine!" I exclaimed, sharply turning to the wine cellar.

And just like that, the second evening with my friends started. With wine in our hands and the hot, soothing water up to our chest.

"...I was so close to using my trusty boomerang on the guy. I mean, who does he think he is?" Sokka complained about some shop owned from the market.

"For not lowering the price by a couple copper pieces?" Haru chuckled.

"I'd already spent most of my money on food. And that dress was perfect for Suki." He grumbled. Suki shook her head, but still smiled at her goofy boyfriend, leaning into him.

"How was the bridal shower?" Aang turned the attention to the girls.

"It went well. And now we have a lot of plates to use." Katara grinned, making me chuckle.

"Props to Ama, though. The girl was hella busy both before and after the event." Toph brought the attention on to me.

"Oh, please it was nothing." I smirked and swatted my hand. "But the chef was so rude. He told me that the dishes I requested were 'too complicated.' I met with him last week to go over everything and he didn't say a word about it."

"I saw the way he talked to you." Suki spoke up. "He was way too bold."

"Seriously though, Katara. You better put as much effort as I am right now when I get married cause I've been busting my ass." I grumbled at my sister.

"Yeah well I won't procrastinate like you did." Katara crossed her arms over her chest and had a fun-loving smile.

"That's assuming that Ama will even get married." Sokka quipped, earning some snickers while my jaw dropped. "Hey, I just realized. Katara is getting married before Ama. Even though Ama is older and still single. Ha! Good luck sis."

"Sokka!" Katara scolded while I actually bent the hot water and splashed his face.

"Ow! Ow! Ama!" He hissed and with his eyes closed, he reached out of the water, using his hand to try and find his towel.

"Don't worry, Ama. You'll find someone." Ty Lee assure me.

"What is with you all?" I chuckled, running my fingers through my hair. "I am perfectly content with my life right now. I got my friends, my family. What more do I need? Besides, I'm not worried about that. After all, I was able to pull in the FIre Lord."

Zuko just shrugged with a cocky smirk and sipped his wine. "Hey, you got good taste I'll tell you that." Suh looked a bit uncomfortable at the mention of Zuko's relationship with me and pressed closer onto him.

"Minus Jet." Aang huffed a laugh.

"And we never got to meet Mulan. So we don't even know what she's like." Suki added.

"You know it would have been nice to meet her, Sis." Sokka said with his chin up in an offended way.

"It wasn't that I didn't want to," I threw my hands up and some water splashed from my hand. "You know, the world isn't exactly all that accepting of same-sex couples."

"I was actually really surprised when I found that out." Aang commented. "The Air Nomads embraced everyone's differences, no matter who they loved."

"Fire Lord Sozin decreed that same-sex relationships be made criminal when he came into power." Zuko said. "I'm still in the process of legalizing it. There's been quite a bit of pushback by the Fire Sages."

"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows as I started to feel frustrated. "It makes so sense. The Water Tribe prefers for you to keep it to themselves, the Fire Nation will throw you in prison, and the Earth Kingdom families will kick you out."

"Is that what happened to Mulan?" Katara wondered softly.

"Was she kicked out? Yeah." I said somberly. "She was 13."

"I had a neighbor that was gay." Haru spoke. "He had to leave town because his farm hept getting robbed and received death threats."

"So now you can all see why I didn't tell you guys anything?" I raised my eyebrows at them all.

"Yeah, snowcone." Toph punched my shoulder. "But don't do that ever again."

"Yeah, yeah. You can't read, I get it." I chuckled as I rubbed the spot she just punched.

"Ama, I promise you that I will reverse what my great grandfather has done." Zuko assured me. "No one deserves to be punished for who they love."

I broke into a huge grin. "You're all the best I'm going to cry." My hand went up to my eyes, my thumb wiping the tears that started to drip.

"We're just glad you could confide in us." Katara swam over, embracing me in a hug.

"Yeah! You can always trust us." Ty Lee also swam over to embrace me.

"Okay, new conversation before I start bawling my eyes out." I laughed, the two girls left the hug.

"Ama, so emotional." Sokka shook his head in fake disappointment.

"Says the guy who cried when Auntie Ashuna ran out of seal jerky." I retorted. Sokka grumbled to himself as he sank further into the water.

"You know, I'm kind of curious to know about Toph and Kanto." Katara smirked at Toph.

The earthbender smirked smugly, taping a sip from her wine. "All you guys need to know is that we're together and he'll be at the wedding."

.☽☼☾.

Another day had passed and we were one day closer to the wedding. Today was chock full of wedding planning, or at least the finishing touches. Katara and Aang needed to confirm the centerpieces and the decorators were going over how to decorate the venue.

We spent hours there. And it wasn't the stressful atmosphere or the pre pre-wedding jitters Katara was having that made me feel uncomfortable. It was Suh. As best man, Zuko came along to help Aang out. And Suh never even left his side.

She kept talking out of turn, suggesting things that no one asked for, and was way too loud. "What about roses as the centerpiece instead of the panda lilies? They're so much prettier." and "Wouldn't blue be a more 'Water Tribe-y' than yellow?"

I had to constantly remind her that it was both Aang and Katara's wedding and that they wanted to incorporate both of their cultures into it. But it never sank into her head. She'd apologize and do it all over again.

"I can't stand that woman." I complained to the girls. We all, minus Suh, sat in Katara's room as Ty Lee tried different wedding hair styles on her. "Honestly, I don't know what Zuko sees in her."

"I told you." Mai said dryly. Yeah, I need to learn to listen to Mai more.

"Oh, she wasn't that bad." Katara argued with her sweet tone. "Sure she had a lot to say, but you can't hold that against her."

"Of course I can. She was being incredibly inconsiderate of our culture and us." I justified. I didn't know how Katara was being okay with this. I would have thought she'd be on the same page as me since it was her wedding.

"Ama, do you think you're maybe over exaggerating?" Suki suggested.

"Why would I exaggerate?" I huffed.

"Maybe 'cause you still have feelings for Zuko. And she's kinda engaged to him." Toph said without missing a beat.

"Will you all stop with that." I grumbled in annoyance. "I told you. I see Zuko as nothing more than a friend. My problem is with Suh."

"You're problem is with Suh because you like Zuko." Toph was blunt and spoke without holding back. She took pleasure in teasing others, but there was always truth in what she said. Still. She's human and can be wrong.

"You guys simply haven't spent enough time with Suh." Mai came to my defence. "I've had to put up with her for months. The woman has no filter."

Suki giggled from beside me and shook her head. "How convenient that Zuko's two exes are the only ones who don't like Suh." Mai just rolled her eyes and I scoffed. There was no way I'd be able to convince them anything. Not if they thought I still had feelings for my ex.

"I think Suh is nice." Ty Lee spoke up, tying the last band into Katara's hair. "How's this one?" She asked the bride. Katara was the focus of everyone's attention now.

She took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. Her dark hair was put into a loose braid and then swirled into a low bun to look like a flower. The strands by her face were tied with blue string all the way to the end and pinned to the back of her head.

"It's beautiful, Ty Lee." Katara complimented after giving it some thought. "It just feels too... posh. And all of the pins are poking at my scalp." She grimaced at the pain

"Hmm." Ty Lee placed a finger on her chin, thinking about how she could restyle it. "I guess we could try a half-up, half-down style." The girl started to unpin Katara's hair.

"Katara, shouldn't your hair be a bit more on the 'posh' side?" I asked her, stepping up beside to her to assist Ty Lee in removing the pins. "I mean, this is the biggest wedding of the year. Maybe of the generation."

"Oh please." Katara snickered, laced with nerves. "Just because I'm marrying the Avatar doesn't mean everything has to be so elegant. There's only 300 people."

Ty Lee and I shared an amused look. 'Only 300 people.' The vast majority of it were our family and friends, a few others from the tribe. But each nation was also sending reporters to cover the Avatar's big wedding.

Katara didn't want it to be as big of a deal as it was. But one thing led to another while planning, and it became a big deal. She wasn't complaining, though. Because at the end of the day there was only one thing that mattered to her. That she was marrying Aang.

Taking out the last pin from her hair, I looked at my sister. She was zoned out, stared at herself in the mirror with a soft smile. The kind that only a person in love would have. No doubt she was thinking about her loverboy.

"Okay, so what if I tied beads on the top and..." Ty Lee began explaining another style to try, using her hands to run through Katara's hair. I sat back down on the floor next to my sister, seeing how her smile grew at Ty Lee's description.

.☽☼☾.

The sun had barely touched the horizon. The sky was painted in hues of orange and yellow. The blue sea looked dark except to the line where the sun's light touched it.

I took in the sight. My back rested against a large oak tree on a cliff. My left leg was out in front of my while my right leg was close to my chest as I rested my arm on it.

So far, my journey was filled with knowledge and laughter. It was odd, though. I always had my siblings with me. They were my source of joy. Then it was Zuko. And for the past three years, it was myself.

I still saw my friends. In fact, just a week prior, I visited Toph at her metalbending academy. I rarely saw Zuko. Maybe just twice since our breakup. Once when I passed through the Fire Nation and once at Yu Dao. Apparently, he and Aang were planning on creating a whole new nation. The United Republic of Nations.

It was an interesting plan. Using the land that was previously Fire Nation colonies to create an entire independent state. One where benders and nonbenders of all nations could live together.

That was a few months ago. And since then, the United Republic has made advances. Last I heard, there was a vast majority of the population for it. I had no doubt that my friends would be successful in their project.

I sort of felt like a leaf, I guess. Drifting from place to place. Not that I was complaining. It was nice, learning new things and meeting new people. There was just something missing from my life. And I didn't know what.

I didn't let myself dwell on that. I knew I'd find this missing thing eventually. But at this moment, I just let myself be content. An apple in my hand and some stupid song stuck in my head.

Spirits, it was on repeat. It was a song I heard that afternoon from an old man in the town. "When I think of that painter, that beautiful painter. My heart almost bursts and I spin on the spot." It was a beautiful song with a gorgeous melody. But it wouldn't leave my head.

"Hello there, beautiful." A raspy voice interrupted my tranquil evening. "What's a girl like you doing out here all alone."

I craned my neck to see who it was. No one I knew. Just some man, perhaps a few years older than me, leaning smugly against the tree. His black hair slicked back with some sort of gel. His layered style was made up of dark clothing. But the most important part of his whole getup was the willow leaf saber in his hand.

Or in simpler terms. The man literally came up to me with a whole weapon out. I was an unarmed girl just enjoying the sunset. He was a thug.

During the war, it was the Fire Nation soldiers that caused problems in each city. That spot was now filled by criminals and gangs. They bullied citizens for money or food or anything they could get their hands on. I was lucky enough not to come across any of them. Until now.

I remained emotionless and just took a bite from my apple. "You know it's dangerous 'round these parts. You never know who might try to rob you. Especially a pretty girl like yourself." I almost laughed at how this man was trying to sound intimidating.

"Thank you, for letting me know." I replied, covering my mouth with the back of my hand while I chewed. I looked back at the sunset, trying to ignore his staring.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Nice bag." He pointed at my colorful satchel with his sword. "What's in it?"

"Alot, actually. Some copper pieces, some gold, some silver. Passport, hair ties, good stuff like that." I egged him on and looked up at him. He had a mischievous smirk, thinking this would be an easy steal. "You can look through it if you'd like. But you won't find your dignity."

His smirk disappeared and he sneered at me. "You taunting me?" He pointed his sword at my chest.

I sighed with annoyance and got off the floor with my hands on my hips, his sword still pointed at me. "Look man, I was just trying to enjoy the sunset until you got here."

"Funny, I just started to enjoy my evening when I saw you here." He chuckled.

I didn't know how long he wanted to keep bickering like this. And I just wanted to get back to the sunset. So I snapped open my waterskin and bent the water in it to spash it against his sword and then froze it against the tree.

The man's eyes widened and tried to pull the sword out, despite it not budging. "Okay, buddy. It's been wonderful being threatened by you, but as you can see I will be winning any sort of fight against you. So, if you just agree to leave me alone, I'll unfreeze you little toy." I tried to strike a deal.

But my self-assured ass didn't see the man behind me. Pulling on my hair, he drew me close to him and placed a dagger against my throat. "Nuh uh, sweetie." His gross, hot breath was on my ear. "You see, we never travel alone."

Three other thugs came out of hiding. Each of them with disgusting smiles. One of them grabbed my bag and looked through it. "Ha!" She exclaimed, pulling out my bag of coins.

"Jackpot!" One of the others jumped happily.

"Now if you'll just unfreeze my friend's sword, we'll be on our way. And you'll be unharmed." The man who held me growled.

"Gladly." I responded and bent the frozen water off and struck the man holding me in the face. Effectively getting him to remove his grip on me.

The others sprung into action. Mister 'hello there, beautiful' ran over to me, swinging his sword. I dodged it by side stepping to my right, and used my water to, this time, push him onto the ground and froze his hand on the ground.

The woman stomped her foot on the ground, and the earth beneath me rumbled. I jumped back, avoiding the sharp earth that sprung from the ground. I took my water and used the waterwhip to slap her harshly, throwing her onto a tree.

But while I did that, I didn't notice that the other guy bent the earth, holding my feet to the ground tightly. It felt like the earth was cutting off the blood circulation to my feet. In shock I looked down. But when I looked back up the man was sprinting, sword in hand and ready to strike me through.

I called my water to me, but just before I could do anything, a new person entered the fight. A woman. All I saw was a blur of red hair as she tackled the man to the ground. Rolling back up, she lunged again. Punching the man's throat. His hand went up to where she injured him, like he couldn't breath.

The earth around my feet disappeared back into the ground. I was free, but I was right when I speculated that the rock was cutting of my circulation. It was like tiny needles were continuously poking at my feet, and I fell back into a seated position.

The man that held me before was back up and held his dagger tightly in his hand. Swinging it across his body to attack the woman. The mysterious redhead jumped back, grabbing his arm to hold him in place as she then kicking his knee in. The man, with a backwards leg cried out in excruciating pain.

One of the other, that hadn't done anything yet, dropped the bag of money on the ground. He unsheathed his sword and walked over to the woman. She in turn, unsheathed her own sword, a katana to be exact, and the two pieces of metal collided.

Using his own strength against him, she moved to the side and he fell forward slightly. And while he was hunched over, the woman slammed the butt of her katana against the back of his head, making him fall over in extreme pain.

The woman I fought earlier was also back up, bending two pieces of rock beside her, she threw it at the redhead. She dodged both as she ran towards her before sliding beside the woman. And when she jumped back up she kicked the back of her knee, getting the attacker to fall on her knees.

The redhead pointed her katana at the woman's head. And everyone paused. Well, all of them were maimed pretty badly. "You thugs need to watch it." The redhead's voice spewed venom when she spoke to them. "If you ever try to cause pain to another innocent person, I won't be as merciful."

The ones that were capable nodded in understanding. Satisfied, the mystery woman sheathed her katana walked over to me. With some feeling of my feet I stood up to greet and thank her. But I guess there wasn't as much feeling as I thought and my body started to lean forward. Luckily, the woman was right in front of me and caught me before I could fall any further.

"Woah there." She laughed lightly, helping me stand by wrapping her arm around my waist and allowing for me to lean on her. "Are you okay."

"Perfect." I chuckled at myself. "Thank you, so much." I then looked back over to the group of criminals. "That was incredible. The way you moved and everything."

The woman shrugged. "It was nothing. I do this over four times a week." I looked at her curiously. "I'm part of this group. The Miraculous Bastards."

"The Miraculous Bastards?" I laughed and was finally able to hold myself up. She chuckled with me. Spirits, her smile is gorgeous. In fact, now that I look at her, her entire self was beautiful. She had dark red hair that hung loose and ended at her shoulders. Sparkling forest green eyes. And she was taller than me by two or three inches.

"I didn't choose the name." She shook her head.

"I'm Ama." I introduced myself.

"Ama?" She repeated like she recognised it. "Wait, weren't you one of the waterbenders that traveled with the Avatar?" I nodded and smiled at her excited reaction. "You literally saved the world! Meeting you is an honor."

"Thank you." This kind of attention always left me feeling a little awkward.

"So, what exactly are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "Just traveling around. That is, until something else comes around and my life takes another turn."

The woman tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Um, I hate to ask, but would you by any chance want to meet my friends? It doesn't have to be for long and our camp isn't far." She pointed with her thumb towards a direction away from the cliff.

"The rest of the Miraculous Bastards, you mean?" I inquired with a smirk.

"Yeah." She chuckled.

"I'd love to." I agreed. "Just let me grab my stuff." I crouched down, grabbing my satchel and the bag of coins. Ignoring the groans for help from the criminals.

"I'm Mulan, by the way." The woman said quickly as we left the scene. I smiled at her. I didn't know what it was. But just speaking to her had me feeling something I haven't felt in a long time. Butterflies.

.☽☼☾.

I didn't want Ama's sexuality to be such a big deal. In an ideal world, no one would have to make a big deal or be scared of coming out. Heterosexual is not the default. But after watching Legend of Korra and reading the first comic, I realized that this would be something that Ama would have to confront.

Hang loose, amigos 🤙🏼

#fire lord zuko #zuko x oc #zuko fanfic #zuko #atla fanfic #her sun his moon #avatar fanfiction #bisexual oc #waterbender oc

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